#i'm normal about historical figures trust me

[anglerflsh]

"people didn't get canceled before these sjw" Dante put all the people he disliked in literal hell

[wr1t3-my-wr0ngs]

So I've lost the tag list for people who wanted updates of this story. It's been a crazy time for me, and I'm happy to once again get to share a new chapter with yall. As always, this is crosspoted on Ao3, so go and check it out!

He hates the desert. Even with his heat reducing gear on, the air is suffocating. His layers cling to him with sweat and sand, and every move he makes rubs his old battle scars the wrong way. The burn left by Volga throbs the worst, not as bad as it did the day he got it, but more than enough to make itself known.

He had tried to rest after being escorted to the tents, really he did. But between the weight of Times lingering glare, the betrayal rolling through his stomach, and the ever so subtle shakes that the long trek through the desert and subsiquent introduction to an entire village of Gerudo did not make better, rest would not come. Outside the tent, Warriors can make out the sound of Times voice pitched low as he speaks to someone. A fresh spike of betrayal lances through his heart.

He knows why Time is just outside, it's for the same reason his one time little brother had placed himself between Warriors and Twilight on the trek through the sands. Time doesn't trust him, and the lack of trust stings almost as much as the memory of the one eyed man turning sword against the Captain in favor of protecting that liar.

Twilight.

Even thinking about the rancher, if he can be called that, sends emotions and panic rising through Warriors in an unstoppable wave. All this time...all this time and Ganondorfs heir was right there. Sleeping next to them, laughing with them, getting them to trust him...

The tent walls seem to close in, and the phantom sound of a war long over rings in his mind. Its accompanied by the smell of blood, of faces he had trusted turning sword against him, fighting for his life through a battle field of a time and place he was never meant to be. Killing people he was responsible for all because of him.

The snarling Gerudo of his memory towers over him, the historic enemy of Hyrule bigger than life and oh so much worse than any text could convey.

The tent grows smaller and taller at the same time, perception distorting as the panic attack grips the Captain. He can't stay here, but leaving through the front of the tent isn't an option and with such a blatant guard, he's far too noticable in his current state. Piece by piece he strips himself of his outer gear; first the scarf, then the green tunic, then the chainmail till he's left in the soft cream shirt. Divested of the most noticable parts of his attire, he crawls over the numerous carpets to the back of the tent and inelegantly begins pulling up a stake from the sand. It's longer than expected by a factor of at least a foot, but it pulls up with little resistance and allows just enough slack in the back tent wall to slip out.

He makes for the first free tent he sees that doesn't have people milling about it. it wouldn't be his first choice of hiding spot, but now that he's out of his makeshift prison, he feels exposed without his armor. The tent flap allows him easy entry, and he takes a moment to breathe and get his heart rate back under control.

He doesn't expect to see the prone figure of Four, propped up on soft pillows, and the sight of the familiar face trips something in his mind. Quietly, Warriors creeps towards the Smith. A tight bandage has been wound across Fours face, the smell of foreign medical herbs and potions strong enough to be overwhelming. The young man's colorful tunic has been removed and carefully folded beside them, and the tell tail padding of further bandages and poultices can be made out under the shift Four wears.

They look...small. Smaller than normal, and the Captain's guilt mixes with the hurt and fear that still thrum through him.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, resting a hand on Fours brow and pushing wayward strands of hair away from the foul smelling bandage over their eyes. "I should have done something. Anything. But I let you get hurt, by him no less and-"

From out of nowhere, a sharp slap fires across the back of his head, hard enough to hurt but nothing more.

"ACK-"

"Do not lie,"

Looking over, Warriors finds himself suddenly face to face with one of the Gerudo. Deep lines and dark skin make up a face that seems as old as the desert around them, and fabric in clashing shades of blue, puce green, and muddy orange wrap around a body that is easily twice the Captain's own height from head to toe. How he missed her, he doesn't know, as even sitting down he can tell that she is easily among one of the tallest people he has met.

"You come to my tent, you will refrain from lying." She says, expression hard and unreadable. Her voice is heavily accsented with the same foreign curl that Warriors can hear floating around outside the tent, but hers is thicker. It clings to her voice from some point deeper than just her lips, native sounds repurposed in non native ways to service communication without any drive for mastery of the second language. It reminds him of the older Sheikah who sometimes visit the castle, the ones Impa bows to with difference, and whoes accents tell of a time before the Hylian language was common to the tribe and who learned it out of necessity. That resemblance alone is what keeps him from doing something rash.

Instead, Warriors rubs the back of his head, the sting still sharp from the hit, and glowers at the woman who has not moved from her corner where she sits calmly drinking tea.

"I wasn't lying-"

This time he sees the incoming blow and ducks the slap to the head, but he is entirely unprepared for the other hand that flicks him in the forehead with needle like precision.

"Another lie!" She chastises, clicking her tongue disappointedly and setting her cup aside with reverence. "You learn fast but do not *think* about what you say. You may not think them a lie, but that only makes them worse. You lie to yourself and believe it. What could you have done, eh?"

Her golden eyes drill into him, and Warriors swallows.

"Your friend has told me how the battle went. Do not take the fault for things that are not your fault."

Warriors opens his mouth to retort, but a fresh surge of pain from his aggravated scar makes him gasp instead. The adrenaline of his nerves had dulled the sensation, but moving around has been bad for it, and as the adrenaline leaves his system Volga's burn flares once more.

The old woman frowns.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing," he grits out. "An old scar."

"Those are not nothing." She responds mater of factly, "I will examine it."

New fear shoots through him. It's bad enough he has to be in this tent village of Gerudo with an old war wound that won't stay calm, but the idea of any of them touching him-

Before he can begin to voice a complaint, his shirt has been removed without disturbing a hair on his head. Warriors blinks, fear and panic freezing in place within him, though he is of no mind to notice how comically fast it happened.

"How-?"

"Practice, now quiet."

Though her tone is brusque and her words cutting, the hands that begin examining the old burn scar across his side are gentle. He can't help flinching from her touch, the voice in the back of his head that kept him alive for so long screaming warning of an attack at being touched so suddenly.

The woman's hands pull back.

"You do not trust Sumati? That is fine. But you are in pain, so I will fix you."

"I don't-" Warriors tries, attempting to scootch away, but an iron grip prevents any escape.

"I say quiet, unless you wish to speak about trying to kill Meti'vi."

"Who?"

The old woman, Sumati, looks up briefly before continuing with their work. 

"Meti'vi, our Little Wolf."

Her fingers find the knot of inflamed tissue that throbs in the ambient heat, the remnant of magic fire that refuses to stop burning. Understanding flashes through the Captain's mind and he tries to pull away, but the press of a cool something - herbal and sticky- to the painful scar instantly soothes and stills him in place with sheer relief.

"None of your people have said anything, but it is not hard to know. I recognize your kind, Soldier. I remember the battles of my youth. You are a Hylian Soldier. The Gerudo have not been friends with Hyrule for many many lives. I am not surprise that you made attempt. When he first came to be with us, there are many even of eh Gerudo that would have tried also were it not for Anish."

She sighs, almost imperceptible.

"There are fewer now who know not to try again,"

Warrior starts, turning to look at the older woman, making Sumati tut when the action takes his wounds out of her reach and the bandage she had begun to apply over the sticky herbs.

"You mean, there are Gerudo who tried to kill him?"

The idea boggles the mind.

"There were," Sumati stresses, once again gripping Warriors by the shoulders and turning him to face the way he had been. "We have not had a king in many centuries. Our last one lead eh Gerudo to ruin. The King of Black Lies was not only enemy to Hyrule,"

She sets the bandage and Warriors swallows.

"You're still helping me,"

"I am a healer, it is what I do."

"...I don't understand."

Sumati sighs, long and deep, and her hands pull back from their careful examination of each old injury and point of pain. Warriors looks around, confused to see the old woman sweep the puce green scarf from her head. Curls that are more gray then red spring back up in a short hair style when freed. The cut is practical, harsh, and meticulously maintained. With her head and shoulders now exposed, she reminds him of the old captain, the one before him who took Warriors under her wing. He's even more confused when, moments later, the fabric is draped over his bare shoulders.

"I spent my youth in wars, some started by us, some not. I know soldiers. And I know war does not end for us when killing stops. I see it in your eyes, the battles you still fight."

She leaves him for a few seconds, turning away to do something and he briefly considers ducking back out the way he came in. But he has begun to feel the exhaustion of the day, the wrung out emotional drain that fighting back the horrors of the war always leaves him with. So, when Sumati turns around and reverently sets a small wooden cup filled with steaming tea down, Warriors is still there.

She waits for him to take a sip before nodding, adjusting the scarf over his shoulders so that it covers him more fully, then retrieving her cup and taking a slow thoughtful sip.

"I know why eh Gerudo tried to kill Meti'vi. I know why Hylians have tried to kill him also. But I do not know why *you* tried, Warrior."

Rather than answer, Warriors looks down at the cup and takes one last sip of warm liquid.

Sumati sighs and takes the empty cup from his hands, tucking them into a fold of her skirts.

"You do not have to talk to me, but know that my tent is safe to you. I will not tell any where you are."

This time when Sumati reaches out to him, Warriors does not flinch, and even though his mind protests being manhandled into laying down, as soon as his head touches the ground his eyes begin to droop shut.

"What was in that tea?" he slurs out, fighting off sleep as a light cloth is lain over him

"Only tea, you bring your own exhaustion."

Without his permission, he falls asleep.

Sumati sighs, eyebrows pinched in thought as she considers her new patient. It had been odd watching the sand covered voe crawl into her tent from the back door like a man being set on fire. The fear in his eyes had given her pause. T'i knew fear, after more then sixty winters of life, much of it spent tending to wounds on bloody sands while those still able to fight climb over the bodies of those beyond help. Fear, anger, grief— these Sumati knows as well as joy or triumph.

But this fear had not been of a man in battle, or one haunted. This was the fear of the hunted and the lost, and it was relieving to see how the blonde relaxed when he had caught sight of his injured friend.

Then he had opened his mouth and started talking, and Sumati's relief morphed into resignation as the guilt and the weight of burdens unshared crushed the soldier before her eyes.

Treating this soldier will be a challenge.

A slight dampness soaking through t'i's skirts reminds Sumati of the cups that need cleaning, and with a groan, she crawls out of the tent and into the still too warm air.

Outside the tent is chaotic, but this is not unusual. Getting to set up at Kara Kara is a treat, a novelty that before the ban was lifted could not have happened. Having access to the oasis is strange and a blessed relief all at the same time. Water in a desert is a precious resource, and in all t'i's life t'i had never seen so much in one place. Still, something about it's depths keeps the old woman wary, and she keeps t'i's distance.

It is chaotic, but it is good, so Sumati doesn't pay it any attention until the frantic voices starts.

"Did anyone see him?"

A one eyed man, another from Meti'vi's group stands before a tent, gripping one of the long stakes in a hand.

"He's missing?" Another man asks, this one shorter and more square across the shoulders and wearing more layers then Sumati would have thought a Hylian capable of wearing in the heat.

The one eyed man runs a hand through his har, face twisted with worry.

"I went in to bring him some water, but all I found was this-" he gestures at the stake, "And most of his gear." The man looks grave, "Including his scarf."

A soft gasp of horror from the shorter of the pair is almost enough to make Sumati approach and ask what the problem is, until the next words offer her a final piece of information.

"Warriors left his scarf?"

Shakeily, the one eyed man nods. Meanwhile, Sumati's mind, older than it once was but no less as sharp, has put together the last piece of the mystery.

Warrior..., she thinks, they must mean the Soldier. She turns away from the pair and offers herself a rare smile of amusement. So, their prisoner has escaped? Too bad for them. After seeing the state of agitation the Soldier had come to her tent in, perhaps letting his captors sweat will be good for them.

---

Food has done wonders for Twilights mood and part of his mind frowns at how much of his depression was probably driven by unrecognized hunger. He is still shaky and uncertain, but the horrid little siren song of a voice in the back of his mind has quieted. That, at least, is progress. He takes his time getting ready to face the world again. Careful sweeps of a small brush over his lips add the bright yellow color of his lip balm to his encemble. Though not the best at applying the make up, there is something reassuring about the simple ritual. Once done, Twilight reluctantly leaves the tent.

The air around the oasis is cooler than the rest of the desert, and though his kurta isn't warm, he relishes the opportunity to shed the outer layer and walk around in his sleeveless blue undertunic.

There is something to be said for the power of a familiar place to ease anxieties, and the oasis is as familiar to him as the rest of the desert is by now. Even more familiar is the sprawl of tents around the water. The larger of the tents ring the encampment, offering a wall of sorts against the wind and sand for the smaller personal tents to take shelter in. Normally, a small collection of cooking slates and wide pans over hot fires would sit in the center of the encampment, but with the oasis this set up wasn't possible. Instead, the various cooking stations ringed the pool, each cooking area with a small group gathered around it.

Striding up to a near by palm tree, Twilight leans against the trunk and surveyed the area. 

"No crown?"

"Absolutely not." Is the instantaneous response the rancher gives Legend.

"Funny, I thought kings had crowns."

Twilight sighs.

"Not me. It's not something I've ever been interested in. Besides, the money is better spent on them." He nods at the tents around him, indicating the Gerudo as a group.

Afraid of what he might see but starting to be resigned to the worst case event, Twilight looks over at Legend. For his part the red clad hero looks very relaxed among the hustle and bustle of the village.

"What do you want, Legend? An apology?"

Legend snorts.

"Oh hell no. Believe me, I get it. Heavy is the head and all that noise."

"You aren't mad?"

"Eh, I'm always a little ticked off with something. But not at you. Not anymore. Like I said, I get why you didn't say anything. Gotta admit I didn't see this twist coming, and yeah, I'm hurt you didn't say anything. But I've cooled off...metaphorically."

It's Twilights turn to laugh.

"You're gonna want to take mid day rest pretty soon. Trust me, heat resistant clothes are not enough."

"Yeah, I'll do that in a bit." Is the flippant response. "One of the women here was kind enough to offer us tents. Nali I think her name is."

"I know her. She's good at the hospitality game."

Legend nods, turns and then pauses.

"Sorry I snapped at you when we all found out. You don't deserve that."

Twilight doesn't get a chance to respond before Legend walks off towards a set of smaller tents.

[emmy-everafter]

Next up in the Coven of Crows AU...

What sequel and/or prequel spin-off stories do you want to see next in this series, now that We're Gonna Need a Bigger Pentagram is done? (Obviously some of this will depend on what I get inspired to write but I think it will help to know what people are most interested in reading.) I have some ideas I definitely want to pursue but I'm also open to things other people thought of while reading WGNABP.

The Wesper fic would be an immediate sequel to WGNABP in which Jesper and Wylan deal with the fallout of realizing neither of them is fully human (and also kiss).

The "How they met" prequel would cover how Jesper met & moved in with Kaz, how Inej met & moved in with Nina, and how the two pairs of roommates collided. This might end up being more than one fic, I'm not sure.

Wylan’s first week would explore his perspective when he first moved into Crow House and started noticing that his new housemates weren't exactly... normal lol.

The Kanej heist would cover how Kaz and Inej started to trust each other as they worked together to target mutual enemies. It's setting up the pre-relationship foundations.

First coven mission is a sequel to WGNABP where the newly-formed coven takes on their first magical project together and would include Matthias trying to fit into the group and revelations about Kaz's ulterior motives.

The "Rietveld Thing" would be about Nina, Jes, and Inej (unsuccessfully) trying to figure out if Kaz is a vampire and uncovering interesting historical information about his family.

There's also a lot of "incidents" that get referenced in WGNABP, so if you're interested in seeing any of those get expanded into a full-blown fic, lmk. I'm also wanting to eventually write about everyone's childhoods/backstories, but those ideas are less concrete, so I'm open to suggestions!

Finally, I do have a fic that I want to write for this universe eventually (and have actually started drafting), which is a NSFW polycrows story. (Polyam coven is endgame here, folks!) But I want that one to come later, once all the characters and relationships have had time to develop, so the polycrows thing feels earned. So that one isn't on the table at the moment, but know that it's coming and that it will include sexy vignettes from the entire Coven of Crows timeline to show how they got from housemates to polycule.

So, what do we think?

[lacrimosathedark]

As an acespec person who is likely some kind of arospec too, Alastor ships give me mixed feelings.

Like, I'm extremely uncomfortable with people really sexualizing Alastor, especially in art. It feels...gross. At the same time, I see people staunchly against people shipping Alastor in any way that's not platonic, which...makes me frustrated.

Look, he is canonically ace, but 1. asexuality has levels, 2. Alastor has no idea what ace means, and 3. words are stupid.

I had no idea I was nonbinary or ace as a kid. I knew how I felt, but I thought it was within the range of "normal". I thought I was "just a person" and "a romantic". I thought I was "picky", and that's why everyone was having crushes while I was chill by myself or with friends. I thought maybe I was scared at the idea of being that vulnerable with someone as someone with anxiety, trust issues, and who grew up falling asleep to Law and Order SVU. And I'm a Zillenial.

Alastor is from a whole other century, in a much more repressive society. If I today needed the internet to figure out that my experience is abnormal and there's a word for it, back when the internet wasn't a thing and queer circles were trying to hide from sight, how the fuck is he gonna know? Especially when he loathes seemingly anything that's past his time, which the concept isn't but the term is as is the way he might find out about it. Fuck, we know he doesn't know what ace means.

He also has no reason to seek out an answer. I wasn't looking when I found my answers. I stumbled upon people who shared experiences who had words that clicked with me. Hell, it'd be easier to think it's normal with how much "waiting until marriage" has been historically pushed. He doesn't know there's even something to look for.

In all likelihood, he thought the "right person" might come along someday, but he also had other priorities and didn't care if he found them or not. Why would I go searching for a love I may never find when I can spend my time focusing on my career, dancing with friends, and plotting various murders? That sounds like a lot more fun and a more effective use of time, wouldn't you agree?

And look, in general "finding the right person" isn't a "cure" for asexuality anyway. Except it can look like that on the surface if someone is anything other than 100% sex-repulsed asexual. And (allos writing aces don't seem to know this) sex-repulsion can also be very spectrum-y too, and actively fluctuate.

I'm demisexual, and would actually consider myself sex-repulsed. I have never liked viewing sexual images or videos, it makes me borderline nauseous. I absolutely will not read pure smut. The concept of engaging in sexual activity myself makes me cringe. To me, sex generally brings to mind too much physical contact and gross bodily fluids. I'm disgusted by even getting other peoples' sweat on me. I'm okay listening to friends talk about their interactions only to a limited extent--I need to be able to have distance and not be given extreme detail.

But if I think about someone I actually like, or if I'm reading a story that has had a buildup in the relationship, it's...nice. It's a very different experience. It seems less like too much touch and gross bodily fluids and more like intimacy. It's...I'd almost call it pleasant? It's hard to describe, but it's a complete shift in mindset depending on circumstances. Most of my inherent reflexive disgust just goes away.

There's a chance Alastor could be like that. He is, quite clearly, some kind of sex-repulsed (thank you Angel Dust) but that doesn't completely block him out of sexual interest. But Angel is...excessive about that side of his personality. And that could be part of why the repulsion seems so strong with him. There are levels of tolerance. I can watch Hazbin Hotel and Angel Dust, but I can't comfortably watch Helluva Boss because the first episode Stolas is...very explicit. It's just too uncomfortable for me to sit through. (this also isn't a judgement of whether it's a good show or not, it's just not for me)

And even if Alastor doesn't experience attraction, he could still have sexual engagement with someone for other reasons. I don't think we have solid confirmation that he's aro, but even then that is again a spectrum and Alastor has no inkling on the concept.

He could involve himself in sex because he has romantic feelings for someone and that outweighs his disgust. Or perhaps even intense platonic feelings, disconnecting the act of sex from romance entirely. QPPs can do anything they want and honestly I feel like those labels are super blurry anyways, because what denotes an action as romantic or sexual or platonic besides intent and perception? Like, friends can cuddle, happy lovers can sleep in separate beds, people joke about kissing the homies good night. Words are messy and nothing matters.

He could also use it as a manipulation tactic. Because if there's one thing we know about Alastor, it's that he's a manipulative little shit. And while the reward would need to be extremely high, I could see Alastor using someone's attraction to him against them in that way. Why would he not use every tool at his disposal?

And from personal experience, a lot of writing in the fandom is through the lens of Alastor being non-sex-repulsed asexual, or otherwise demi- or greysexual. And while I could definitely use more fluidity in the sex-repulsion category (cuz unfortunately a lot of people write it as either completely repulsed or not repulsed whatsoever), at least a good number of people are trying to be respectful. Just because they ship Alastor with someone doesn't mean they are being disrespectful or casting aside his orientation by default.

And while Alastor being enthusiastic about it is extremely ooc and I hate that with my very soul, people are allowed to play with fictional characters how they want to. They aren't real. Neither are the Barbies whose faces you smashed together as a kid. They aren't actively hurting real people, and don't necessarily think differently of real ace people.

I'm aware that I may be projecting my sexuality onto Alastor given that he has shown sex-repulsion that I relate to. Maybe I think the idea of him being romantically involved with someone is cute. Maybe I don't mind the idea of him doing sexual things for love or other personal gain like power or control. But who the fuck am I hurting by doing that? Who is anyone hurting by doing that?

And dude, you're watching a show about redeeming sinners, showing that some of the worst people can change and puritanical people are irrationally judgemental asshats. Someone portraying an ace character as not 100% sex-repulsed is a weird line to draw there.

If you're a 100% sex repulsed asexual who's uncomfortable with people shipping Alastor, that's perfectly fine. But not every asexual completely shares your experience, and life itself is uncomfortable. And for better or worse that isn't going to change. I suggest you simply avoid engaging as much as you can for your own peace of mind if nothing else. Blocking tags and accounts is actually great for that. Someone doesn't have to be a dick for you to block them, and you won't have to see their content anymore. Tumblr Savior is a helpful tool too.

This is my very longwinded way of saying just because Alastor is aroace doesn't mean he can't be in a romantic-coded relationship, a qpp that isn't specifically stated to be such, or engage in sexual acts. And writing him ooc is icky but also completely fine and people can do what they want.

[walker-extended-universe]

Windy 1x10 Thoughts

How this show manages to keep me guessing with every episode I'll never know

Once again, not enough time or energy for a proper review so I'm just gonna put my thoughts here real quick and then get back to my regularly scheduled shitposting.

Calian and Augustus:

You know, when this plotline first came up, I knew this was going to either end with Nascha being dead or with her being assimilated and I wasn't sure which would be worse. Now I know.

Nascha being fed a false narrative about her life and eventually giving up her heritage to fit into the world she was forced into is just...awful. Probably historically accurate (I feel a research itch coming on) but awful

Calian is torn between being grateful that she's alive and grieving the loss of who she used to be. He'd kept that hope up all these years, that he would find her and his tribe would be whole again, and it was all for nothing

I also got the feeling that Calian had a lot of barely tempered rage below the surface during that conversation and it was only the knowledge that Nascha had no say in what happened that kept him in check

"I bet your wife is proud of you" "She used to be" Okay is Gus' wife dead or is she mad at him for his career choice? Being on the frontier would mean she either had to come out with him or that he left her behind for months- if not years- at a time.

Oh boy a new chief was chosen while Calian was gone and he wants war. I'm sure nothing bad will come of this :)

The Side Step:

HAGAN'S BACK!!!!!!

Of course Hoyt chooses a bar to stay in while there's a storm.

Francis having debts to pay off that are now his family's responsibility is a good way to bring Lucia back. Since, yaknow, Hoyt abandoned her -_-

Kate figuring out that Hagan acted to protect her in .5 seconds is both a good way to move the plot forward and another example of how good of a detective she is

Kate and Hoyt secret scheming together my beloved

Kate: Be drunk Hagan: Already am I love them your honor

Hoyt stripping is blatant fanservice but this was better than the watering hole so I'll let it pass.

Tbh part of me wishes Lucia hadn't been in on the plan but she did very well regardless. I guess she had a good poker face after all ;)

Anyway fuck Randall and long live cattle baroness Lucia

Lucia, sweetie, you know Hoyt. I do not think putting him in charge of a bar is a good idea and you really should know better.

Kate and Hagan's reunion was my favorite part of this episode. Kate missed him, even if she was mad, and I think this episode showed how much she looked up to him. He knew about her non-heterosexuality and trusted her to run a business, likely during a time when everyone else she knew didn't trust her much at all. He's a father just as much as she's a daughter. Her tears when asking him if she could run away with him just- *heart breaks*- I'm fine. But he's right; she needs to stay put and find her footing, keep the spirit of Hagan's alive. Perhaps she'll order a hat from him one day.

Hagan's:

Tom's nightmare about him hanging from the rafters of the barn is just *chef's kiss* we love a traumatized meow meow

"What will you do when you find your brother?" "He'll get what's coming to him" I love Abby's concerned face after this like sweetie not everyone is driven by a sense of justice sometimes you just need to shoot people in the face.

"Tom Davidson and Abigail Walker seek shelter in a hotel and get love advice from a strange woman who mistakes them as a couple" is a fanfiction prompt if I ever saw one and tbh I know a few writers who would've done it better. But I digress

I love how Tom just casually drops his family-related trauma onto Abby. That's so normal and hinged of him.

Is it because no one else in his life cares about him and he's become overly attached to her since he first saw her she saved his life?

I swear I thought that woman was Teresa Davidson for a second

Tom saying he knew there was something special about Abby from the moment they first met is either really romantic or really threatening depending on the context.

Very odd woman reliving her married days and sharing memories with two strangers. Not really sure what to make of her (or her comment to Hagan) but she seems nice. I hope she's not evil.

Okay so Abby isn't afraid of Tom anymore because she knows he didn't do it. All the while Tom is becoming more endearing to her because of how he cares about Independence and the way he seems willing to stand up to his family. Kate thinks she should be careful (and I agree) but there is Something here.

If they'd left it at the Almost Kiss, I would've been happy. I would've preferred that. Abby is gaining feelings, Tom has been having feelings for some time, the Pining is at it's peak.

Aaaaand then they ruin it by killing the "will they/won't they" question by having Tom and Abby sleep together right away -_-

Aaaaaand now Kate knows and she's being extra judgemental about it (although to be perfectly fair she was the one that barged into Tom's room without warning....)

Aaaand now Shane's run off. He probably died in the dust storm.

Tom/Abby happened and it is technically what I asked for but...did it have to be this way? Couldn't we have had a few more episodes of pining before we got a kiss?

Solid episode overall but I think we could've used more of Lucia being mad at Hoyt. He deserves it.

[star-mum]

Criminal Minds 2x18 - Live Star Reaction

Sunny said this is one of her faves so I must do what I do best (babble incoherently

A THREEQUEL ????? We don't normally get a "Previously on" for this show

is SOMEONE gonna say something about how Reid is acting (besides Em and Derek, my beloveds)

getting killed by a natural disaster on the murder show is kinda super lame

did he just FAKE A SERIAL KILLER DEATH ??????

WILLIAM LEMON TANGO !!!! YEEAAAAHHH

"Til he kills again" Hotch really knows how to lighten up the mood

💜 Ethan 💜

Reid is being such a Dick to Emily specifically, idk if it's cause she's new so he doesn't trust her as much (he's reluctant to accept help and keeps lashing out but when Morgan pushed a little, Spence caved in and talked to him) or of something about her bothers him (like idk they're both the most brainy, some competitiveness that's been amped up cause of what happened)

Morgan doing a little ✌️ while being introduced in tHE MIDDLE OF AN ACTIVE CRIME SCENE (I love him so much, I actually can't stand it)

oh no he cut "Jones" into the wall, SORRY IM STUPID

I really like Lemon Tango SKSKSK he has such a Noir Detective Vibes

I never know if I'm being smart when I figured something out before the characters or if the show writers make it easier for the audience on purpose (not that I did this time but I have my big brained moments)

"Reid you scared me!" "always been one step ahead of you, man" yeah no, I agree with the fandom on this one KSKSKSKS

REID ???? ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE ?? THERE'S A ON GOING MURDER INVESTIGATION ???

"this is New Orleans, honey. It's a culture thing" JJ is stronger than me, I would've fucked this man in the middle of that full bar

"and this involves the case, how?" "it doesn't, I'm just flirting" 😶 sunny I think there might another request coming your way soon 😶

also Emily and Derek are my new favorite besties, I love their interactions so much <3

when they first referenced Jack the Ripper, I was gonna make a (probably not tasteful) "historical reparations" joke bUT YEAH NO KINDA EXACTLY THE ROUTE THEY'RE GOING

"What do we know about Female Serial Killers?" *has read exactly 1 book about them* not much *Reid mentions Aileen Wuornos* hEy I KNOW THAT ONE !

is it gonna be that woman in blue who sent Lemon Tango the drink?

I'll never remember his name right (Lamontagne ?)

SAY IT EMILY, GET HIS ASS (I know he went through a lot but someone needs to get his ass back into shape)

Breaking News: Man with the Worst Game Ever gets gutted in an alley (I wrote this before his body showed up, she actually dumped him in a alley)

JONES ?? J R ??? FUCKING JONES MAYHAPS ???? If this guy's name is Jones I'm gonna... Nevermind :3

Can we bring Elle back for one ep so she can shoot this guy too? (Jr guy)

It is the second time (that I remember) that Derek has called Garcia "mama" and I think I might have AO3 business to attend to later today (THESE TWO ARE KILLING ME SMALLS)

"Awn babygirl you never disappoint" 😩😩😩😩 HE STARTED TO SEDUCE ME, I STARTED TO BE SEDUCED BY HIM

William put his gun down and I literally let out an almost impressed gasp like "...Lemon Tango !" SKSKSLSK that's his name forever now

this ep makes me really sad, this actress is killing me, wE GONNA GET YOU SOME THERAPY BBY ! I feel really bad for cases like this one, literally so many people had a hand in those murders, it's not her fault

oh thank fucking god, it's finally Gideon Dad Time

"I'll never miss another plane again" good job baby <3 ily... nOW GO APOLOGIZE TO EMILY

I REALLY FUCKING LIKED THIS EPISODE !!

[funkymbtifiction]

I guess I wanted to have you type my story because maybe my writing will provide some insight into my type? I don't know if this is true though, because when you read your books, do you think, "These books make it obvious I'm an ENFP 6" or is it not so obvious? If not, what other factors do you think might play a bigger role in what you choose to write about besides personality? 

I don't usually get vibes of personality type off what someone writes, no. Sometimes I do pick up on Enneagram types, however, either through the writing itself or the themes they choose to convey. My books are very 6ish in that they are high adventure and action ('the threat is real') and how the characters survive is by banding together; it's about Family and Friendship two things important to 6s. The characters are also careful in a 6ish way -- I don't allow them JUST to make emotional decisions. And how I write is very heady -- meaning, I think about everything, I look for loose ends, I fix plot holes, and I think my way through projects instead of just trusting the process (unlike a 9 writer I know, who makes it up as she goes along, heh). (I would bet anything that at least one of the Duffer brothers, who writes Stranger Things, is a 6w7 -- that series reeks of 6ness. It's all the 6 themes rolled into one -- family, friendship, banding together against a threat, the threat is real, perilous, can't trust the government, and highly relatable with likable characters who seem "normal" and varied. And it's popular because it's highly creative but also not pretentious or arrogant about itself. They are also NPs.)

I have gotten 4 vibes off some authors (elitism and/or tragic, broken stories), and 9 vibes (calm main characters, whose lives are upset by minor things), and 7 vibes (wild, fantastical fantasy novels or mashups). 1ish authors are moralistic (Little Women). 2s are super emotional and so is their art a lot of the time (all about love, romance, connection, etc). 3s write rags to riches stories or success stories. etc. Once in awhile, a function stands out to me but it's easier to view it from the inside. For me, you probably couldn't tell an ENFP wrote this unless you read one of my fantasy novels; but I always get a bee in my bonnet about some historical figure being 'wronged' or 'misunderstood -- they had a good reason for the choices they made!' and go from there into writing something to change people's minds about them, which is very Ne and Fi of me, since I understand the power fiction has over the human mind (and that makes me angry when it's abused! One of my Fi pet peeves).

[b0wlcutter]

The fact that so many children are dying right now is terrifying. Even though there are claims on the temporary cease fire- it's just a distraction. What can we do? I know a lot of us are working hard to do what we can. I'm so scared and worried. So many lives are being taken. Historical buildings and people's memories. I know working around the system is the only way to survive. So talking with our communities, and finding ways to give each other the courage to retaliate against the genocide. Learning effective ways to work through the system with the people around us. We need to take care of ourselves and each other. Felicia told me to give myself credit, because statistically I should be dead. I see how the system has hurt us. The system wants us to think we are doing something wrong, when they have so much power we can't even comprehend without feeling it in our entire being. I don't want to speak for my friend, whom I love very dearly. I just know we have always told each other to take care of our mental and spiritual health as a first priority. They are from Palestine, so I am very worried because I haven't heard from them in a couple weeks. I wanted to talk to more Palestinian students. People who have lost their loved ones, and figure out where to go from there. The whole world should never be on your shoulders. We should be asking questions and holding space for those who understand loss in this world. We have to hear them, and give them space and TIME to call back their spirit. We need their voices to be heard amongst the masses. We can continue to fight alongside them, while that work is being done. Also recognizing that each life is different and complicated, so we need to respect that. That's the only way we keep them with us. Please check your privilege genuinely. Give yourself time to process and live life. Learn more and love more. Create more art to commemorate our elders and ancestors. Keep our love and cultures in this world, so we can keep the earth safe for our children. We need to know how to talk to each other. We will leave the world but we need to live in love right now, so our children can love too.

I want to elaborate on this topic later on. I just feel so many things. I'm very grateful that I can. But I am very heartbroken. I'm upset that I am used to being so heartbroken. And there's just this cloud above me. And I am not sure how to proceed at times. I would like to live a normal life. I have never lived a normal life, even in the states. But I am figuring it all out. I know when I meditate. Allow myself to live in the ways where... If I were to sit with someone I loved and trusted... even if I didn't know much about them by that time... I would live in a way where I would ask them how they would feel okay. I think enjoying nature, getting our little bouts or revenge, and feeling beautiful and safe... would probably be how. I want to live my life. I used to want to take my life. I still do sometimes before I lose myself in everything. I am still pulled back between being this immature young adult and then someone who grew up too fast and wants to have all the answers. It's just a sick feeling but it will get better. I know it will. It has in ways because I am seeing how love still exists. In patience, and impulsiveness, love still exists. Allowing yourself to feel that love and follow it- it's complicated but I want to continue living. And I don't want to leave anyone behind. I know I can and will or might. But I don't want to. When I do; I want to feel it and understand why. I know things will get better. I've seen it before.

[fxtalitygod]

II. ~𝐒��𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥~

Pairing: Trueform!Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were determined to survive, longer than anyone, even if you were set to marry him.

Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage

Warnings: Dark themes, Y/n going through trauma, slightly implied r*pe, dubcon/noncon, mentioned breeding (non-kinky), crying during sex, Implied Stockholm Syndrome, slight mentions of suicide, Pet names (Y/n called Little Flower 3-4x) mentions of murder, language/swearing, mentions of infertility, pregnancy

Word Count: 3.2k

Note: I'm sorry this took a while, I've had a bit of writer's block. Anyways, I am proud to say that this will not be a series that will be no longer than five parts I hope. Also, I have opened my asks! If you want to ask me any questions about this story or to talk about hcs, maybe even suggestions. Moving on, enjoy part two of Survival!

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules•

• Pt.I • Pt.II • Pt.III

The rumors were indeed false, at least for you. For the women who still had a functioning mind, such as yourself, life with Ryomen Sukuna was far from luxurious.

After your first night with Sukuna, you had a second mind to end your suffering, but you knew you couldn’t do that. Despite the circumstances, you still had a family praying for your well-being, so to end it all would be selfish. To break your promise for relief would be selfish.

You sat up from the bed, turning to see that Sukuna was still there, seemingly asleep. There was a moment you thought about killing him, but you knew better. Although seemingly defenseless, you knew he wasn’t a normal man, he was most likely awake sensing your every movement.

Deciding to ignore the presence of the four-armed man, you attempted to stand up. Your attempt was futile. You collapsed almost immediately, the aching pain between your legs too great to ignore.

When you looked down, you saw the damage that Sukuna had done. There were bruises, bite marks, and scratch marks littering your body. The state of your body left you horrified. You sat there staring at yourself for almost twenty minutes until the door opened, four to five housemaids walking in to take you to the bathing room.

Leaving the room, you managed to spot out the man from last night, the one who had unwillingly watched you get violated. The two of you made eye contact for only a few seconds, both of you too ashamed and embarrassed about the situation that had occurred the other night.

You eventually ended up in the bathing room. You were scrubbed down by the housemaids, who attempted to be careful with you considering the state of your body. There were moments when they did poke at a bruise or mark, causing you to hiss a little. The reactions they gave you when you made the sound of pain caused you to pity them.

Every time you hissed or flinched, the maids would quickly pull back and cover their forms as if shielding themselves, they thought you were going to hit them. You wanted to reassure them, but you knew it wouldn't fix the past trauma they had acquired during their years of service at the temple. You decided that it was best to earn their trust over time rather than force it.

Eventually, the maids left you by yourself, trying to give you space after the events of last night. You sat there, staring at your reflection in the water. You looked at the bruises and marks covering your shoulders and neck, bringing your hand to hover over them slightly. You felt violated, completely disgusted, you wondered what you had done to receive such punishment.

A few tears, unknowingly to you, escaped your glossy eyes. You did nothing to wipe them nor tried to hide them, you just let them fall. You figured these moments when you were by yourself, would be the only moments where you could let all your emotions out, which would be often.

You sat there silently crying, losing track of time, until a few maids came in to help you out and get you clothed. Just like your wedding day, you were blanked out, everything was crashing down on you. You were trapped here for god knows how long.

"Sukuna-sama has requested for you, L/n-sama" One of the maids whispered.

Yeah, you were trapped, he wasn't going to let you go anytime soon.

You were led back to Sukuna's chambers, the trip short and silent. When you arrived at Sukuna's chambers, you noticed that he was nowhere to be seen. You turned towards the door only to see that it had already been closed, the maids heading off to attend to other matters around the temple.

You stood there for a while, waiting for the man you called husband, but there was no indication of him coming anytime soon. You were beginning to grow impatient and anxious, so to calm yourself you decided to explore the room more. There was nothing that really caught your eye until you turned to see a beautiful kanzashi on the other side of the room- it looked so out of place. Curiosity began to get the best of you and you decided to walk over to examine it, but stopped in your tracks once you felt warmth hit the back of your neck.

"Snooping around are we?"

Your soul almost left your body right then and there, but you managed to keep your heart beating at a normal rate and kept your breath from hitching.

"I apologize, I was only looking."

Through your peripheral vision, you could see Sukuna smirking, seemingly amused with your response.

You avoided making eye contact with him, deciding to stare at the wall in front of you. You could feel his fingers mess with your kimono slightly, it was only when he started fiddling with your bow did you begin to panic a little. He only smirked as he began to taunt you a little more by slightly tugging at the bow, continuing to tease you by tugging different parts of your clothing, sometimes revealing a hickey or two, before pulling his hands away.

"It's pretty isn't it?"

You took a small swallow before giving him a response, preparing your voice to avoid stuttering.

"It is, whom does it belong to?

"No one, I haven't found someone to give it to," he said with an amused tone.

You only nodded your head slightly, hoping to get the small talk over with so he would get to the point on why he sent for you.

"You're an interesting one Y/n, you haven't given me one reaction ever since you got here," he said in a teasing tone, "Are you a statue of some sort?"

You could see he was trying to provoke you in some way, but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction. You only shook your head and looked away, avoiding eye contact.

Sukuna slightly frowned at the lack of response, but before he could try to press you a bit more, the door to his chambers opened. Looking to the entrance, there was a woman dressed in a beautiful kimono. When she walked through the door she was seemingly shocked, as if something was different or out of place.

"Have I mistaken the time?" the woman asked innocently, though you could still sense the venom in her voice.

"No, this is when I would be seeing you, but we've currently found ourselves enamored with this kanzashi, right Y/n?"

You didn't dare look at the woman, you could already feel her eyes burning into your skull. You didn't fear the woman herself, but you did fear whatever delusion she had painted. It was clear that this woman had romanticized her relationship with the four-armed man.

"I suppose," you said, but not without a slight hesitance.

As much as you didn't want to deal with the woman, you were also afraid of Sukuna's displeasure of your response. Unfortunately, your life would be dictated by Sukuna, especially in terms of life and death. If he were to ever become dissatisfied with you, he could kill you at any moment.

"You can leave, you're presence is not required."

The woman was shocked once again. She seemed about ready to say something, but some unknown force had stopped her. You turned to look at Sukuna only to see that he was admiring the kanzashi.

Unknowingly to you, the woman didn't halt her words by choice. The woman had opened her mouth to give you a piece of her mind, but Sukuna had shut it down with a piercing look. It was a warning, a warning of telling her to keep her little mouth shut or be severely punished, and not in a way she would like.

It didn't take long for the woman to take her to leave, deciding on having a 'discussion' with you some other time

Focused on the woman leaving, you hardly noticed Sukuna's movements. When you turned your head to look at the kanzashi, you noticed it had disappeared, so when you felt a slight poke on your head, you were a little surprised.

Arms were placed upon your waist, turning you around. Sukuna stared at you with intensity, one you weren't familiar with. Although you've only known him for less than a day, you could already tell he was acting abnormally. Before you could figure out his peculiar behavior, he reached over and grabbed, what you had assumed to be the kanzashi, out of your hair.

He let out a hum before placing the kanzashi back in its original place. It didn't take long for him to plaster his infamous smirk onto his face.

"Well then my Little Flower, I believe you can go now."

"You didn't need me for anything?" you asked, slightly confused.

"Curious are we?"

Having a realization of what you had said or rather asked, you became a little disgusted with yourself. The way you sounded when you asked the question almost made you sound desperate, desperate for something you did not want. That wasn't the only problem, you had also questioned him. You didn't know what set Sukuna off nor how his punishments were given out, but you weren't willing to risk anything.

"No, I apologize for questioning you," you said quickly, your head bowed down.

You heard a deep chuckle, one that sent shivers down your spine. You could feel his shadow looming over you, you could feel his stare on you. You could practically see the evil grin painted on his face.

"I accept your apology, but I'm afraid you will still have to be punished; however, it will have to be at a later time, for now, you may leave."

You could clearly understand what he was hinting at, bringing fear into your soul. Your eyes widened as a vivid flashback of the night before popped into your head. Before you could process his words properly, a maid walked into the room and led you off. You managed to bow to your husband before leaving, but after that, you were mindlessly walking around the temple.

This was your life from this point forward, you would be nothing more than Sukuna's trophy wife and you had to live with that.

It had been around 9 months, almost a year, of living in the temple and you were starting to get used to it. After your one 'punishment,' you were never punished again. In the little time you were there you had started to become a little actress, acting dutifully around the temple and obeying every order given to you. As much as you wanted to kill Sukuna, especially with the many chances you got, you never did. You thought it would be better to build on his trust rather than recklessly killing him, there would be a point in time when that day came, but for now, you would be his perfect "Little Flower."

You had already befriended some of the wives, trying to at least form some good relationships so you weren't completely miserable. Some of the acquaintances that you made had been girls you had known in your village before they were sent off to be wed. The first thing you noticed upon seeing them is that they seemed somewhat drained as if something had died within themselves and you knew exactly what that something was.

Innocence.

All of Sukuna's wives, including yourself, have lost their innocence on the first night of being with the man. From the moment he lays you on his bed you are doomed, for that's where he strips you of your purity. Looking at your old friends, you could tell that is what happened.

However, some of the wives you were less familiar with didn't lose just their innocence but their sanity as well. Some of Sukuna's wives had romanticized the relationship they had with him, mixing up fear with love. The woman you had encountered on your second day was proof of that.

After your first encounter with the woman, you had run into her more often. She had tried putting you in your place by somewhat threatening you after your first day of meeting her, saying she was Sukuna's main wife; she was the favorite, and that. you. should watch your back. Unfortunately for you, she wasn't the only one to believe that. Many women believed that Sukuna had an actual relationship with them and loved them, ranking themselves amongst each other, the woman who had borderline threatened you, whose name you didn't bother to learn, being number one.

No one aside from her knew about you, but that changed quickly. After your first couple of months, after getting settled, Sukuna began requesting you to be in his chambers more often. At first, you would only stay nights and leave in the morning but, eventually, Sukuna wouldn't let you leave, forcing you to endure both the nights and mornings in his bed. It wasn't until your belongings were moved to his room did you notice the attention you were starting to get and not just from Sukuna, but the rest of the wives as well.

Women were starting to harass you, disrupting you when you were out doing tasks around the temple. Despite the harassment, you always got back up, not wanting to let those women have the pleasure of seeing you fall apart.

Ultimately, getting sick of the lack of response, the women stopped, some even starting to admire you a little. This is when you started to become the little actress; this is when you really started to climb the ranks.

If you couldn't escape the temple, you were going to make sure you survived; however, there would be some drawbacks to this little plan of yours, but you were determined.

Even if you had to get pregnant, and unknowingly to you that was what a certain someone was after.

Today, after hearing a few rumors from the staff and some of the wives, you figured out why Sukuna had started to keep you around more.

Sukuna was trying to get you pregnant.

Sukuna had grown determined to see your stomach round with his child. He would go rounds upon rounds with you, day and night, trying to get you pregnant, so much so that you had started to feel numb; you could no longer feel anything as he destroyed your body. You didn't moan, whimper, or scream in pain, you would lay there in silence, taking it like the perfect "Little Flower." You would only allow tears to roll down your face, feeling violated. There were moments you would fake a moan or whimper, trying to satisfy Sukuna to make sure he wouldn't grow bored of you and leave you out for the wolves.

The whole situation revolted you, but you were willing to flush away your dignity to survive, however, throwing away your dignity wouldn't solve all your problems.

"Y/n, are you sure you aren't infertile?"

You were shocked when you heard that question leave the lips of one of the younger spouses of Sukuna.

"Excuse me?"

"W-well, I'm only asking because most of the other women here got pregnant after their first night while it's taken you almost a year, does that not bring any suspicions or worry in the slightest?" the girl asked hesitantly, worried that she had offended you.

Your heart rate began to increase quickly. It could be a possibility that you were infertile, but you didn't want to believe that. It wasn't that you wanted to bear Sukuna's child, but if he were to ever think that you were unable to carry an heir, he would kill you on the spot, what were you to do then?

You tried to calm yourself by thinking of your bloodline. You've never heard of any pregnancy issues with any of the women throughout your family, it was quite the opposite in fact. Your family was known for carrying healthy and strong children, especially when it came to curse techniques and energy, so why would you have any issues?

You calmed yourself down a little before responding to the young lady, trying to sound as calm and collected as you possibly could.

"No, I'm confident in my bloodline's lack of infertility, so no, I don't believe I'm infertile."

The girl only nodded, feeling a little ashamed for questioning you, but quickly recovered once you rubbed her shoulder to let her know that she hadn't offended you. However, you couldn't help but look down at her swollen stomach. The sight made you worried, but you couldn't falter now, not after everything you've gone through.

"Y/n-sama, you are being requested."

Shivers went down your spine as you heard the approaching maid. You slowly got up and started to make your way towards the all-to-familiar room, but not without looking back at the young girl's round stomach.

It didn't take you long to make your way to Sukuna's quarters, memorizing how to get there without getting lost. Your hand hovered over the door, hesitant on whether you should go in or run. Coming to a decision, you ignored your instincts and opened the door.

Upon entering, you could see Sukuna hunched over, his hands held together. He raised his head to make eye contact with you, his piercing gaze going straight through your soul. The room was silent, the door shutting being the only thing that was heard.

Sukuna stood up and approached you slowly, causing your anxiety to grow. He grabbed your waist and tugged you to be closer to him, only leaving a small gap between the two of you. He began to disrobe you, pulling the bow of your kimono and watching it fall to the ground. From there he began to examine your body.

Placing his hand on your breast, he began to grope at it. Even though his touches were discomforting, you could sense something was off. Sukuna's touches had no sexual intent, but rather something else. It wasn't until he placed his hand upon your stomach did you realize what he was checking for.

"When is the last time you bled?"

You were confused with his question at first, but once you had caught understanding what he was asking, your eyes widened. Not only were you shocked by his question, but by your own answer.

"Three months ago..." you trailed off, trying to not look at Sukuna's grin.

You looked down at your stomach, your hand hovering over it. What had you done to deserve a fate like this? What sins had you committed? Even though you knew that this is what you needed to survive, you were still disgusted with not just Sukuna, but with yourself as well.

"Well, based on my observation..."

.

.

.

.

.

.

'Don't say it.'

.

.

.

.

.

.

"My Little Flower..."

.

.

.

.

.

.

'Shut the fuck up.'

.

.

.

.

.

.

"It seems that you're..."

.

.

.

.

.

.

'You've made your point.'

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Pregnant."

[richmond-rex]

... what exactly is the grand appeal of the House of York? For me personally, the constant online obsession with the Henry VIII and the Tudor era in general (although Henry VIII imo is rarely discussed as much as his successors) was exhausting and the Yorkists seemed like a breath of fresh air, and I still do find them very interesting, but i don't get what makes them so great in comparison to the Lancasters or Tudors?

Hi, anon! I truly wish I knew what this weird obsession with the house of York is about. I think that just like in the case of how popular history approaches Henry VIII and his wives, there's this obsessive focus on their physical appearance that is incredibly objectifying and shallow. Edward IV is treated as a 'golden boy in a golden crown' — Antonia Fraser goes so far as to talk about his 'blond [sic] good looks' as if she's never seen his extant lock of brown hair or any of his portraits — and popular historians talk about him almost as if he was a greek athlete that by the virtue of his incredible jock hot body should be king and have his awesomeness recognised. And don't be fooled, that includes tons of ableism against mental illness in the figure of Henry VI. This is from Helen Castor:

At eighteen, Edward was everything [Margaret of Anjou's] ineffectual and distracted husband was not. Unusually tall, strongly built, and jaw-droppingly handsome, he had irresistible charisma, combining easy bonhomie with an imperious will and a shrewd political brain that had been honed by early experience as his father’s trusted lieutenant.

Also, just to be clear, you open the first academic biography about Edward IV and they will tell you: Edward IV had no political experience before ascending the throne — he was simply incredibly young! He was a minor still studying in Ludlow when his father created a whole hullabaloo in England! Military experience is not the same thing as political experience and I don't know how the two can be conflated in this way if not simply to enhance some idea of awesomeness.

The mantle of kingship rested squarely on the broad shoulders of Edward of York.

I'm begging pop historians to please be fucking normal when talking about historical figures. Of course, looking masculine / performing masculinity was an important aspect of kingship but 'having a hot body' was hardly the only way a man could perform masculinity in the middle ages. Something that few people know is that chastity was regarded as supremely masculine, for example, and that was a role Edward IV himself was at pains to be cast at. It's also clear from contemporary sources that good looks weren't regarded as the end-all-be-all of kingship. The French Chronicler Philippe de Commynes treats Edward's good looks (though he says he had started losing them by 1475) almost as his fatal flaw compared to Louis XI's shrewd intelligence.

The incredible ironic thing about pop historians that focus on their subjects' physical appearance, though, is that they inevitably turn to criticise their ageing / 'loss' of good looks in the most despicable terms imaginable. It's not uncommon to see the same people who praised Edward IV for his hotness to be incredibly fatphobic towards him at the end of his life. I've seen this happen with pop historians writing about Henry VIII as well, for example, Tracy Borman. There's this almost perverse sense of enjoyment in casting a figure high only to bring them down so low.

I truly think that the fascination with the house of York is founded on this incredibly shallow basis of thirsting after Edward IV's once-hot body and his audacious hot approach to life. And his audacious hot approach to life even gets misinterpreted and transformed into something else. Yorkist fans like to talk about Edward IV as the most awesome WARRIOR KING that slew and crushed his enemies on the battlefield when academic biographers agree that he literally avoided the battlefield when he could. He had a skill for fighting but he doesn't seem to have born any love for fighting. Pollard calls him a 'knight of Venus'; Charles Ross, in his classic biography of Edward IV, says:

Still his avoidance of major schemes of foreign conquest may have been partly a matter of temperament – for he was a rare example among medieval kings of a successful commander in the field who yet had little natural taste for warfare.

Then you get Richard III fans who like to focus on his almost unparalleled sense of chivalry and 'social justice' (I've seen people literally use this term for him, a medieval ruler) but at the same time they must prove that Richard III was a good-looking young man because that matters to them just as much for some reason:

I literally wish I was kidding about all this, yet the worshipping of the glorious Y chromosome of York is a thing that exists.

[ping-ping-ying]

ATEEZ as Yanderes! PT. 1/11

⚠️WARNING⚠️ : toxic relationships, mental, physical, and emotional abuse, mentions of death/murder, descriptive violence, kidnapping,

⚠️Disclaimer⚠️ : these are ALL FICTIONAL, and my OWN personal opinions and perceptions on the boys. Yanderes are NOT to be taken lightly or romanticized, these types of people are REAL and are/can be very dangerous. These kinds of stories are ONLY for entertainment. If you know anyone like this in real life, please get help!

HONGJOONG ⚖

Worship Yandere

"I'll do anything for you! I'll even kill for you! Please use me however you want!"

Hongjoong DEFINITELY strikes me as the worship yandere

Stalking would be highly likely

So he can know exactly what you like and don't like

Whether it be clothes, movies, your favorite historical event, it didn't natter

He took EXTREME action into knowing everything about you before he actually confronted you

When he first met you, he didn't just fall in love with your personality, but EVERYTHING about you

You didn't know but he was basically putty in your hands

Not that you would ever know

At first you were weirded out by him, due to him being so quiet, and his wandering eyes always staring at you

If you are upset, he will do ANYTHING to make you feel better

Someone at work/school made you upset?

You heard the news of that persons death the following week

You wanted a new pair of shoes that you couldn't afford?

Expect to have a whole closet filled with new shoes

No matter what you do, HE WILL NEVER hurt you

Like- ever

You could betray him, from the point of no return and he'd still worship you

Hongjoong doesn't care if you don't love him, he will still aim to please you at all times

He doesn't like killing people, he will only kill if they seem like a threat to you or your happiness

Doesn't realize he's being too clingy and possessive

But you say nothing in fear of hurting him

Hongjoong isn't that big of a softie once you get to know him

His cute, shy, and introvert persona would fade gradually over time

It was actually unnoticeable since the shift in character was cleverly planned out

Eventually you caught him in the act of beating up one of your friends because he was jealous that you were spending more time with them than with him

You called off your relationship immediately

He wouldn't fight you on the matter

But that won't stop him from secretly buying you things or taking care of your "problems"

SEONGHWA ⚖

Sadistic Yandere

"It hurts? That's your fault! Next time learn your lesson and stop looking at other men!"

I know exactly what you're thinking

"WOULDN'T THIS BE SAN?!"

I have thought about it, and to me Seonghwa strikes me as this type of Yandere the most

Seonghwa was also HIGHLY intelligent

He knew EXACTLY how to make you fall for him

It didn't matter how long it took

You were going to be his

Made sure to be your typical Wattpad fan fiction boy, whether you wanted him to be that "bad boy" or "good boy"

In the end he decided to try the good boy persona

When he met you, everything had to be perfect

He rehearsed lines ahead of time, and practiced until he had the courage to face you

It was at a summer carnival event, he helped you win a prize at the strength game

From the moment you looked into his eyes, you were putty in his hands

After almost a year of knowing each other, and a couple months of dating, things were going great

That was, until you decided to hang out with your old friends from high school

You invited Seonghwa to be your date to the gathering, and it was hell for him

The way you completely disobeyed his unspoken rules of talking to other men that wasnt him

The final straw that made him break his character was when it was time to leave and you have your male friend a big hug while giving him that smile that makes Seonghwas heart melt

When you got home he grabbed and dragged you to the bedroom

"Seonghwa what are you-"

SLAPPED YOU DEAD ACROSS YOUR FACE AND DID NOT GIVE TWO FUCKS

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

*SLAP*

"STOP IT WHAT-"

He smacked you a couple more times before he pushed you on the bed and decided you needed a lesson

Would torture you, sexually or plain physically

Don't scream or beg, it only fuels his drive to punish you

Will not stop until HE beileves you learned your lesson

YUNHO ⚖

Self-Harm Yandere

"Hey... look at me... look at me... look, there's so much blood coming out..."

Through your relationship, Yunho was pretty normal

Until you accidentally forgot to give him his goodnight kiss and hug

It was ONE night, because you were so exhausted from working/school and you passed out on the couch

In his mind, that one mistake told him that you didn't love him anymore

This Yandere has two sub units

One where they start harming themselves in private, and the second one, harming themselves openly

Yunho started off doing it privately

He planned this strategically

When you noticed cuts and bruises on his wrist the next day, you questioned him frantically

To which he nonchalantly explained that he hurt himself at the gym

But you weren't an idoit

You KNEW these particular kinds of injuries were caused by self harming

But you didn't press the issue because you assumed it was a sensitive topic for him, and didn't want to trigger him

Yunho began to lose trust in you

He was scared you would end up leaving him one day

All because of that ONE night

Even though after that one night, the normal goodnight kisses and hugs continued

But to Yunho it wasn't the same

So when you came home one day later in the evening, you and Yunho got into an argument

A very HEATED argument

It ended up with you saying his WORST FEAR

"If you don't stop this right now, we are over !"

That's when he snapped

"You're breaking up with me?!"

"If you don't stop acting like a selfish jackass then yes!"

Honey that's all he needed to hear to send him into a frenzy

He started punching himself in the face, to the point where his mouth started bleeding

"YUNHO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP IT!"

He ignored you and then grabbed a sharp knife from the kitchen and sliced all over his arms, legs, torso, and face

You began to cry, and fear for your life

You backed up and was about to dial 911 when he yelled out,

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! I'LL KILL MYSELF! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'LL DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!"

You acted quickly and raced over to him cautiously trying to get him to stop

"Yunho baby I'm not leaving you!"

"LIAR!"

"Honey I didn't mean what I said! We were arguing and I just said something cruel but please know that I won't leave you ever! I love you."

"YOU PROMISE?!"

"I promise now stop hurting yourself please!"

Yunho did what you asked and then started to break down and cry

You engulfed him in a big hug and whispered sweet nothings into his ear

All the while, Yunho smirked, and smiled wickedly while crying

His plan worked

There was no way you were ever going to leave him now

Or so he thought........

YEOSANG ⚖

Stalker Yandere

"Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Yeosang is a man who likes to live off the radar

No one really seems him or acknowledges his existence unless he makes himself known

So stalking you everyday was no problem

You were oblivious to the fact he stalked you day and night

But that doesn't mean you didn't have any strange feelings

For the past three years you always had this sense of uneasiness

You didn't know how to explain it exactly

But you felt that you were always on the defense

Ready for something unexpected to happen to you

And not in a good way

Whenever you confessed these feelings, people would laugh and say that you're paranoid

And yes you were paranoid, because your psyche never lies, it's there for a reason

"I'm serious! Maybe I'm being stalked or something."

"Who would want to stalk you? You don't do anything."

A brutal attack, but the statement was true nonetheless

But that never set your psyche at ease

And the most fucked up thing about your whole "paranoia" was that Yeosang was in your life

He was your neighbor

And the two of you were quite acquainted

Granted Yeosang didn't exactly LIVE in that house down the street, but you'd never know

He would take run around the neighborhood for exercise and would stop to talk to you if he saw you

He played the role of the normal neighbor a little TOO well

Stalking Yanderes CAN be violent, but Yeosang wasn't

It would ruin his ability to stalk you in peace

He never hurt your, or the people around you

One day he told you a riddle that had you stumped completely

You loved when he told you riddles because it was like a little traditional thing whenever you two say each other

"Everyone has it, but no one can lose it."

This riddle had you stumped for days, and you didn't want to cheat by looking it up online

So by magic chance two days later, at night when you were laying in bed in the dark trying to sleep, the answer hit you

Instead of getting giddy with excitement that you fianlly figured out his riddles like you usually did, it made you feel, puzzled

The way his voice sounded as he told you the riddle

The smile that was staining his face as he did, had your psyche going crazy

You needed to calm yourself, because it was just a riddle, nothing more, and nothing less

So you drifted off into sleep and mumbled the words,

"A shadow."

SAN ⚖

Training Yandere

"Say you love me... SAY IT, SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME! SAY IT!"

This is why I didn't label San as the sadistic Yandere

Even though he could have easily slipped into that category

But not with this one chile

Unlike the Sadistic Yandere, San doesn't like causing you pain, it hurts him deeply to see you in pain

A lot of Atinys (myself included) are so used to San being labeled as "the demon" or "possessed" when it comes to his stage presence or when it comes to NSFW AUs

But you need to remember that San is actually a bubbly, clingy little cupcake off stage

So that's why I stuck him with the Training Yandere

But you need to be trained, so he has no choice but to hurt you

He easily kidnapped you after breaking into your home and drugging your food.

You didn't know who San was, never saw him a day in your life

But San was convinced that you'd known each other for years

(I can also sense a tiny bit of the Delusional Yandere in this one, but like I said A TINY bit)

In the basement you were, chained to a chair like an animal

He came skipping down the stairs happily and had a plate of food for you

"Now you can eat if you say the magic words."

"Please?"

San chuckled at your response

In normal situations yes that is the magic word, but San said "words" not "word".

"No that's not it."

"Well then what it is?"

"You know what it is silly."

The confused look on your face made San beileve you were lying, and that you were just being a brat

He hated brats

"Alright I see you're still going with this-"

He brought out his bag filled with torture equipment

And that's when you lost all sense of reality

You kept telling yourself that you were dreaming

It was the only logical explanation for this situation

"Awe don't cry, just say the magic words and you can be free of your restraints."

"....."

"The magic words are "I love you".

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! I DON'T LOVE YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!

(Y/N why couldn't you just play along tsk tsk)

"Oh boy, I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this."

The first tool he got out was a hammer, a big, hammer

And he released one of your hands only to hold it down on the table next to him

"You have ten fingers, let's see if you can say the words before we get to ten."

He aimed for your pointer finger and slammed the hammer down on it with all his might

"One."

You screamed bloody murder as you felt the pain shoot through your body

But you still didn't say anything

He slammed the hammer on your middle finger

"Two."

You still didn't say anything, how could you with all the pain you're in

The next finger

"Three."

No response

The next finger

"Four."

No response

San was getting frustrated, but didn't show it

He eventually broke all ten of your fingers, and was amazed at your strength of not giving in

But that's just the more violent he had to be

Next on the list, was your face

He slapped and punched you repeatedly, blood getting everywhere and your vision becoming blurry

But you STILL didn't give in

San had enough

He grabbed a knife from his bag and held it at your feet

This was also the final straw for you

You can live with broken fingers, but not feet

"SAN! I- I LOVE YOU!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry for being a brat, please forgive me! I love you!"

"Oh darling! I knew it!"

Of course you were lying, but he didn't know that

[ivy-kissobryos]

hi, im kinda new to witchcraft and i dont really know anything (prayers, rituals, beliefs, etc), plus there's a lot of contrasting info online so i don't know what i should go with. could you please briefly explain how you view witchcraft and what you do? i'm going around asking this to a lot of other blogs to get a general sense of things. thanks!

Before we begin I just wanna point out that when you say prayers and beliefs, I think of paganism. When I hear ritual and witchcraft, I think of magic.

Religion and magic is intertwined but you do not have to be pagan or wicca or whatever to be a witch, or vise versa. For me, a witch is someone who practices magic, whether it be simple things like jar spells or folk magic or traditional witchcraft or anything ceremonial or ritualistic (although some ceremonial magic practitioners prefer the term magician over witch, which is up to them). A diviner is someone who uses divination tools such as tarot or pendulums to seek knowledge (and again, you can be a diviner without ever touching witchcraft). Spirit work and hedge work is also another area for you to look into.

You can be a pagan - lighting incense, praying and making offerings - without being a witch either. Some say there is inherent magic in worship, but personally, if you just worship but don’t practice witchcraft (do spells etc) then you’re just a follower of a pagan religion. And there is nothing wrong with that. Of course, you can also be all that I mentioned above simultaneously too, but there is no hurry to quickly define yourself when you’re starting out. Changing the way you label yourself or your craft as you grow (or foregoing a label in the first place) is equally valid too.

More info on some beginner tips + my views on witchcraft below.

If you’re starting out some times I’d give are:

Learn how to protect yourself. Energy work and shielding techniques is how I started, or calling on Archangels if you believe in them. Once I was more comfortable I began learning how to use witch bottles to defend myself, how to banish (look up the LBRP) and more.

Read and read and read! Not on Tumblr but actual books (the legit ones, not the trendy money-milking ones) and historical sources. If there are contradicting sources, use your gut and your brain. Check for author bias and cross-check with other sources. Listen to your intuition yet use critical thinking and discernment too.

Record and test your divination and spells. See if a prediction comes true. Test if a spell manifest the desired result within the given time frame. If you do a wealth spell, then the spell’s success will be confirmed by increased wealth. Try altering your methods, and note if you become more successful or accurate and adapt accordingly.

Don’t be pressured to spend loads of money on your craft especially when you’re starting out. Of course, you may want to give fancy wine as an offering to your god, but if that isn’t feasible then a home cooked meal alongside traditional offerings such as bread would be alright too. Also with books, of course it is good to support occult publishers but try borrowing from libraries, find e-books and use your university account to borrow them, or find PDFs of them online.

Personally, it may not be suitable for complete beginners but I recommend books by Troy Books for witchcraft info. For learning Lenormand, the Complete Lenormand Oracle Handbook by Caitlin Matthews is the best. I know it’s 600+ pages but I swear it’s so good.

For me, witchcraft is about power. When you feel like there isn’t anywhere else to go, when your friends seem distant or unable to comprehend what you’re struggling with, when the law has failed you and corruption has won, witchcraft is a way to redirect your life and regain your sovereignty. Which is why I also believe in hexes and, in some context, curses (although I know it’s a can of worms to open and I’ll make posts on hexes and curses one day).

Divination is used to give you guidance and insight into something that may take you forever to figure out by yourself. It is also a way to communicate with the divine. What I am against though, is using divination to spy on others, as you’re essentially destroying other people’s rights to privacy. Claiming 100% accuracy is also an act of hubris, which is why I always say that my readings are reasonably accurate because in the end, free will triumphs over all and even the strings of fate has many threads.

If your relationship with a deity is rooted in transaction, then it can be said that you are working with them, not worshiping or devoting yourself to them. A devotional pagan relationship between oneself and one’s deity can be transactional too (eg: I worship Dionysus and he helps me with giving me opportunities to grow, along with giving guidance on my path) but what is more important is the devotion - the love and bond - you have with said deity.

Where the line between witchcraft and paganism blurs is when you involve deities in your spell or divination.

When I was young I used to dismiss the incantations that the monks in my country use. However, one day I went to a ceremony where almost a hundred monks gather and pray, casting their spells in unison, and even with my initial derisive views towards conventional Buddhism I felt something that day. Now, I realize when certain words have been spoken and imbued with power and continues to be recited with fervent faith for hundreds or thousands of years, power becomes inherent in those words. The same goes for rituals and spells.

This is why a beginner who had never managed to manifest anything properly can screw up when doing ceremonial witchcraft and end up bringing misfortune into their lives. Those ceremonies are meant to be performed that way, invoking those gods, for a reason. Best case scenario when you mess up is they don’t work. Worse case is they bite you back. Same goes for spirit work and especially so regarding demon work. I was curious about the Ars Goetia in the past, and I am immensely grateful that my naive, idiotic past self had enough brains not to attempt any summoning. If you want to prove to yourself that the magical world is real, there are better ways to do so.

Do I believe the gods are literally real? That Buddha walked his first step and a lotus flower bloomed under his feet? That Dionysus wrapped a ship in vines and turned the disbelieving pirates into dolphins? I don’t think so. But I have faith in my gods the same way one can be a Christian without believing that the Earth is 9000 years old. And I believe in magic because I have felt it and observed the evidence.

Maybe it was easier for me to believe because I grew up in an animistic and spiritual country, where things like divination and spirit work is ‘normal’ (although people do fear and respect the supernatural). Making offerings to household spirits is something my family does weekly. Hell, almost every family has a mini spirit house in their property that hosts the spirit of land guardians. Going to shrines and praying to our local version of ‘dryads’ and ‘tree ghost’ is common for if you want good luck or a bargain.

Messing with corpses is now outlawed, but witch doctors in my country have been known to make consecrated oil from the corpses of women. As recent as 2012, stillborn fetus had been used in ceremonies which turn them into household spirits to bring luck - if they are pleased and fond of you. Of course, magic of these types are against the law because the actions required to perform them are illegal, but the point is, it shows that magic is very real and still believed in where I come from.

If you’re coming from a western worldview where all of this is ‘weird’ or ‘primitive’ or ‘crazy’, it might feel difficult to trust in your supernatural senses, to have faith or to find your path. But if you keep practicing and refining your skills, you’ll find that magic is something that will always draws you back to it, that it is something you cannot live without.

[caydesgirl-uldrensprincess]

Forbidden || Chapter Four: The Ball

(FINALLY!! I have it out!)

--------

A/N: Cinderella warning???

"So, your date is an Awoken Warlock, a light-bearer?" Jolyon asked, surprised by the fact that the Prince even did such a thing.

"I did it so Mara would get off my back," Uldren stated, adjusting the formal suit jacket he was wearing.

It was a half-truth. Yes, he did it to get Mara off his back, but he also wanted to get to know Isabelle more. He wasn't going to tell Jolyon or his sister that. The Prince put on his cufflinks and nodded to the Crow. Both men left Uldren's quarters and went to the ballroom of the Palace. They met Mara just outside the doors. She wore a beautiful purple gown that flowed gracefully down her figure.

"You look dashing, brother," Mara said, as she linked arms with Uldren.

They entered the ballroom, which was crowded with Reef-Born and Guardians on either side.



"Her Majesty, Queen Mara Sov," The Guard announced, causing the crowd to quiet down, "and her twin brother, Prince Uldren!"

The Prince scanned the crowd to see if he could spot Isabelle. But the crowd itself was to thick to see anyone properly. As he and Mara descend the stairs and arrived at the bottom, Uldren bowed to his sister and parted ways with her. He entered the crowd of guests. He found the Vanguard, maybe Ikora Rey would have an idea of where her most trusted Warlock could be.

Uldren cleared his throat, grabbing their attention, "I was wondering where I could find my date, Isabelle Brigham?"

"She's out on the balcony, she wanted fresh air and somewhere not too crowded," Answered a Huntress with curled blue hair and icy blue eyes, clinging to the arm of Hunter Vanguard Cayde-6. She was probably the famous Chloe Brask, daughter to the late Hunter Vanguard Andal Brask.

He nodded, bowed, and went to the balcony on the other side of the ballroom. Uldren saw Isabelle gazing up at the night sky, her hands resting lightly on the railing. She was breathtaking. Her normally loose, half-shaved, bubble gum pink hair was in a beautiful pleated braid over her right shoulder. The moonlight made her pale blue skin glow, making her sapphire eyes pop. The dress she wore was stunning, the bodice hugging her sides in all the right places. The dress itself was pink with a beautiful white lace design. The thin straps stopped before they even reach her shoulders. The neckline dipped down into a V just under her sternum, letting the swell of her breasts show just a tad bit. The skirt was long and flowed out, flowers decorating the bottom of it.

"You look beautiful, Isabelle," The Prince complimented, causing the Warlock to snap her attention from the stars to him.

She blushed a light purple, "You look equally handsome, your Grace."

Isabelle curtsied. Uldren bowed and took her hand, placing a light kiss on it. He felt her tense for a second then relax. "Care to join me inside and get a refreshment?" Uldren asked, offering his arm to the Awoken woman.

"I'd love too," Isabelle answered, linking her arm with his.

Uldren guided her inside the ballroom. A waiter came by and The Prince picked up two champagne glasses, handing one to Isabelle. She took it and thanked him quietly.

"Can I have your attention?" Came Mara's voice from the front of the ballroom.

Conversations ceased and everything became quiet.

"Thank you, as you know I invited you for a splendid evening and a chance to make new allies with the Traveler's Chosen," The Queen stated, "I hope this alliance will bring peace and prosperity to our people!"

The crowd clapped and conversation resumed. A chorus of string instruments started to play, Reef-Born and Guardians who knew how to waltz joined in.

"Care to dance?" Uldren asked, setting the now two empty champagne glasses on a waiters tray as he passed by them.

Isabelle nodded, shyly looking down at her feet, "I'd love too, Uldren, but I'm not a graceful dancer."

"Then just follow my lead," The Prince said, walking into the middle of the dance floor.

He placed one hand on Isabelle's waist and the other held her hand. Uldren stepped back, prompting the Awoken woman to step forward. Slowly, surely, The Prince had taught Isabelle how to waltz. Halfway through the instrumental 'La Valse de L'Amour', Uldren twirled his date around, then held her by the waist again.

"They're all looking at you," The Warlock said, noticing that everyone stopped dancing to the music, creating a space for her and Uldren to dance.

"Believe me, they're all looking at you," Uldren, a smile gracing his lips. 

They continued to dance, gliding around the room. Uldren realized he liked the smile that adorned Isabelle's face. The crowd awed as The Prince lift Isabelle up and spun her around, before setting her down gently. Gracefully, Uldren dipped his date and pulled her up again, spinning her around yet again, the layers of her dresses skirt swirled and frilled about.

People started to dance again as the music continued. As the music drew to a close, Uldren bowed to Isabelle as she curtsied. He then offered his arm again. "Would you like me to take you somewhere more, er, private?" He asked.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful," Isabelle smiled.

Uldren returned the smile and took Isabelle out of the crowded ballroom and down several corridors and stairwells. He led her out of the palace and onto the grounds, taking a left away from the ball.

"Isn't Mara going to notice your absence?" Isabelle asked as they walked down a cemented path.

"No, I doubt she would even know I'm gone," Uldren muttered, "Besides I wanted to bring you somewhere I never took anyone else, not even Mara."

"Okay."

The Prince stopped in front of a white gate. He opened it and stepped aside, "Ladies first." The warlock chuckled, smiling as she stepped through the gate. He heard her gasp and she turned to him.

"It's beautiful!"

Uldren had taken Isabelle to a private section of the palace's garden. The flowers all around were exotic and had a bioluminescence glow to them. In the middle of the garden was a beautiful white swing that hung from a tree with bioluminescence leaves. The Prince took Isabelle gently by the hand and led her over to the swing.

"Please," He said, offering the awoken woman a seat.

"I shouldn't," Isabelle replied shyly.

"You should."

"No, I shouldn't!"

"Should!"

"Shouldn't!"

"No, you should," Uldren chuckled

"I will," Isabelle smiled and sat down, as the Prince stood behind her grabbing hold of the white ropes on either side of the swing.

"May I?" He offered.

"Please," Isabelle replied, looking up at the Prince.

 He gently pushed her and the swing, letting it glide out and come back to him. He repeated this process a few more times as the Warlock let out a small giggle, making Uldren's heart flutter at the sight. Suddenly, Isabelle's shoe fell off and landed a few inches away. Uldren moved in front of her and picking up the rose gold heel.

"It's made of gold?" He stated, examining the shoe

"And why not?" Isabelle shot back.

"Allow me," Uldren moved to place the shoe on Isabelle's foot.

"Thank you," The Warlock offered him her foot and he gently slid it on.

"So, tell me who you are," The Prince said.

"Well, for starters, I like books," Isabelle answered, a purplish blush dusting her cheeks.

"What kind of books are you into?"

"It varies from moment to moment, I read dystopia, other times I read literature or romance, sometimes the occasional historical fiction," She stated, "I know, it sounds boring."

"No, it's intriguing, any other things that interest you?" He continued.

The Warlock thought for a moment. "I also enjoy theatre, artwork, the outdoors, the weather in autumn, and sweets," She replied, "what about you?"

"Thrill and adventure," Uldren answered.

"Why that in particular?"

"Because I want to be a hero my people can look to."

"Is that all? Interests, I mean?" Isabelle asked.

"Please my sister, I guess, though she always seems to be disappointed by everything I do," The Prince replied, casting his gaze from Isabelle to the side.

"I'm sorry to hear that, that's bloody awful."

"Don't be, I'm used to it by now," Uldren stated.

"Besides trying to please your sister and being a hero, who are you really, Prince Uldren?"

"If I told you, would you still want to know me?"

"Yes," Isabelle replied.

The Prince gazed into her sapphire eyes, they were so close. He didn't realize how close they were until they were inchesapart. His eyes darted down to Isabelle's full lips. They looked so plump and soft. He wondered what they would feel like on his own. Isabelle apparently had the same idea as she also lean closer. Their lips were only centimeters away.. Uldren closed his eyes awaiting her kiss when something interrupted them.

"Isabelle, the Vanguard is leaving." Came a voice.

Uldren jumped back, spotting Isabelle's ghost. The moment was ruined. 

"Oh, I'll be there momentarily," The Warlock replied, standing up from the swing.

The ghost bobbed once before disappearing. Uldren stood up and straightened his formal attire. He took Isabelle's hand and kissed the back of it.

"Until next time," He said.

"Next time?"

"Yes, I would very much like to get to know you better,"

"You have a mobile?" Isabelle asked.

"Yes," The Prince answered.

"Then send me a text,  if you want to talk."

After exstanging numbers. Uldren bid goodbye to the guardian. He went back to his quarters, where he found Jolyon waiting for him.

"You were no where to be seen after the first waltz," The crow said.

"That's because I spent the night wondering the place grounds having a pleasant conversation with my date," Uldren replied, entering his bedroom.

"That is surprising coming from your mouth."

"Really, how so?" The Prince started to take his blazer off.

"Well, for starters, you had a date this time," Jolyon stated.

"People change," Uldren replied, dressed in only his slacks.

"Is this change good or bad? Because if you fall for her, you know its not..."

"Not what, Jol?"

"Permitted."

The Prince rolled his eyes, "I'm going to bed. Meet me in the courtyard tomorrow morning and I'll explain what the plan is then,"

Jolyon nodded and left. Uldren sighed. He knew it wasn't permitted. Isabelle wasn't a royal, she was a guardian and that made the things even more complicated. With another sigh, The Price laid on his bed, hands behind his head, thinking about what lies in store for him

[geenalovesthelittlethings]

You honestly seem like such an educated and insightful woman that I feel so comfortable asking you things like this .... I'm 20 years old, only had sex once, with one guy (it was not good lol) and trust, I'm a horny lil bastard, but I've never had an orgasm. When it comes to sex, I'm so bad at putting myself out there, and masturbating makes me so uncomfortable! For lack of a better phrase, it gives me the heebie jeebies (lol). Is this normal?

It’s totally normal, angel. At least in my opinion. We are so complex and everyone’s experience with their sexuality and relationship with their body is different and that’s totally okay. Now, I’m assuming that we’re talking about vulvas and vaginas in this context, but please correct me if I’m wrong on that. I also apologize in advance if I use any gendered language, but please know that this could apply to anyone with vulvas and vaginas, not just cis women. 

I think socially masturbation in people with vulvas and vaginas is still seen as very taboo and shameful and people are often made to feel like it’s wrong if you enjoy it. Masturbation as a whole is very much presented as something that happens only within the context of people with penises. Female pleasure as a whole is still very hush hush and controlled, even today. Orgasms themselves just really don’t get talked about, which is a huge shame. So I think sometimes it can feel a little intimidating. Because you what they are, you know that they exist, but people with vaginas and vulvas historically don’t get taught a lot about their anatomy and their bodies (I’d like to think this is getting better). So I think exploring pleasure can feel a little intimidating for those reasons, and rightfully so. 

I think my best advice, if masturbation is something you want to explore, is to just takes things slow. If it’s touching your own body  that makes you feel a little uneasy (and that’s totally okay), just take it really slowly and get acquainted little by little with your own anatomy. You absolutely don’t have to do everything all at once. And if at any point you feel that uncomfortable feeling, just take a pause. Maybe part of your hesitation is due to the fact that you didn’t have a great experience in the past and so your brain is kind of like, ‘It’s going to be like that with every sexual experience we try!’ I’m here to tell you that your brain is lying to you and that’s not true. You might also consider trying a toy (like a simple vibrator) or other objects (pillows, etc.) if it is the physical touching that makes you feel uneasy. That will remove some of that aspect. Take some time to figure out what YOU like, what feels good for YOU. Because maybe you didn’t have the space to do that when you had sex that first time. And if you figure out masturbation just isn’t your thing, that’s okay too! 

It really is a personal process, and whatever that looks like is definitely okay. I hope this helps a little bit. 

[nothingeverlost]

penny!verse. I'm curious how Belle & Gabe walk the line between a teenage boy getting into halloween and Claire being just old enough start to understand the holiday and be scared of some of the movies and things, especially given what B&G have seen because of their jobs. tricks and treats?

Apparently when I said ‘flashfic’ I lied.  Are we shocked?

Takes place about 5 years after Belle returns. Claire is a little over two.  

____________

Halloween stores were not Belle’s favorite place.  She’d seen too many skeletons laid out on coroner’s tables to be amused by the styrofoam immiations.  One aisle was entirely fake weapons, from plastic knives painted with fake blood to rubber guns that looked too realistic.  Worst were the costumes that declared ‘serial killer’ and ‘sociopath’ and ‘insane patient’ to be the perfect way to dress up.

Unfortunately she needed a costume for Claire, and didn’t have the time to look more than one place, of the skills to make it herself.  Bay, seeking a costume of his own, had decided to join the trip which meant she couldn’t just stick to the aisle filled with rainbow colored costumes.  Claire settled relatively quickly on a ‘pun-kin’ costume.  Belle wondered if Bay would be as easy to please.

“Hey Belle, you should totally dress up this year.  There’s a ton of stuff here.  Just not, you know, the sexy FBI agent costume because that would be weird.”  Bay didn’t seem to have found a costume yet; the only thing in his hands was a pumpkin carving kit.

“I wish I thought you were joking.”  She had nothing against dressing up.  And certainly she and Gabe had tried their hand at role play more than once, but the general sexualization of women’s costumes upset her.  Sometimes it seemed there wasn’t any other option and she hated the message that it sent.  “We’re only taking Claire to a few homes this year before dinner at David and Mary Margaret’s.  If anyone asks I’ll tell them that I am a FBI agent.  What about you?”

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to Gabe yet, but I think I’m missing dinner this year.  There’s this party, one of the guys in my chem class is throwing it.  I can’t decide, is Dracula too overdone or is it classic?”  He looked at his hands; Belle hadn’t noticed the fake blood container on top of the carving kit.

“Classic,” Belle decided.  It certainly was better than a lot of other options he could have come up with, and she knew that he had almost everything he’d need at home.  They just needed to find fangs and a cloak.  When she thought too much about the party, though, the hairs at the back of her neck stuck up.  He was nineteen, in college now but mercifully had decided he wanted to live at home.  He needed, even more than other kids his age, to feel like he belonged.  In high school it had been common knowledge that he hadn’t grown up the same, that school was new to him.  He was small for his age thanks to poor nutrition.  It had taken time, Gabe had told her, for him to settle in and begin to make friends.  Now as a college freshman he had a fresh start in many ways.  

She knew what could happen at parties.  Knew that kids on their own for the first time would be testing their limits.  And Halloween always seemed to make it worse, the anonymity of masks and costumes allowed people to do things they wouldn’t usually consider.  She had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him it was a bad idea.  She would have to talk to Gabe and figure out how they prepared their boy as well as they could.

Every year since she’d moved back they’d all had dinner at the Nolan’s - the first time she’s almost hadn’t gone, but Emma had talked her into coming and Archie had gone home with her; they’d watched Christmas movies for hours declaring it the start of the holiday season.  The next year she and Gabe had been together, and had come with Bay and gone back to the pink house.  Three years ago she had only just learned she was pregnant.; the next year there had been four of them.  Last year she’d dressed Claire up as a dragon and Neal Nolan had been a knight.  Emma, Graham, Ariel, and Archie had all joined her, Gabe, Mary Margaret and David was they’d taken the two around the neighborhood.  Henry and Bay had spent most of the night playing video games.  Perhaps she should have known then that the tradition was changing, but she would miss it.

“Awesome.  Give me five minutes to grab a couple of things and I’ll be ready to go.”  True to his word Bay was back in four with a red lined black cloak and an uncomfortable looking set of plastic teeth.  He also had a gold plastic necklace with a large medallion that was supposed to look gothic.  Perhaps she would at least be able to sneak in some education on the historical and literary character of Dracula. She paid for their purchases even though Bay offered to cover his own, and was relieved when they were headed home.

II

“Would you like paints too, sweetheart?  It might be safer for you.”  Belle teasingly moved the carving knives closer to Bay and offered her husband a paintbrush.  Claire, covered in an old shirt of her brother’s, had a paper plate covered in easy wash paints in front of her and a pumpkin waiting to be decorated.  Bay was already sketching out a monster’s face on his pumpkin, while Belle’s plan was for something more traditional.  

“I haven’t had a kitchen accident in ages, thank you very much.”  Gabe accepted the brush, though, thinking it might come in handy.  It had potential for tickling a certain brunette on the back of her neck, for starters.  And perhaps other places as well, when his kids weren’t around.  He jumped into his own carving without a plan or sketch.  Everything was quiet for a few minutes before Claire started crying.

“Sweetheart?”  Her hands were covered with paint, and somehow her left cheek as well, but he didn’t hesitate before pulling her onto his lap.  He was closer than Belle.  “Can you tell papa what you’re feeling?”

“Hurt,” she sobbed between her tears.  

“Where does it hurt, my love?”  He couldn’t see anything but maybe the paint was hiding it.  Or maybe it wasn’t something that could be seen; she’d had the flu a few months ago and had thrown up enough that they’d had to take her to the emergency room for an IV.

“Pun-kin hurt.”  She pointed to his pumpkin, the top cut off and some of the seeds removed.  “Bandaid?”

“Oh dear,” Belle spoke from across the table.  “I hope this doesn’t mean I picked the wrong costume.”

“It’s okay, peanut, the pumpkin likes it.”  Often times anything Bay said was okay was taken as law by Claire, but today she wasn’t having any of it.  She only cried harder.

“Hurted.  Pun-kin owey.  Fix, papa.”  She looked up at him and if he wasn’t convinced by the tears he was when she touched his cheek.  “Peese?”

“Mama will go get some bandaids while we wash our hands, princess.  We have some surgery to prepare for.”

II

“It’s just me, Claire.  Your brother.  See?”  The scary man crouched low, holding out his hands so he could take her away.  He’d already taken her Bay and was in his room, his face the wrong color, like the same as her milk, and blood on his mouth.  She wanted her Bay.

“It’s a costume, kiddo.  I’m just getting ready for a party.”  When he came closer Claire wanted to run but maybe Bay was hurted.  Claire did the only thing she could think of, she kicked as hard as she could and ran to find her papa.  He would make the scary thing go away and find her Bay.

II

It was after two when he pulled into the garage, his cloak in a heap in the passenger seat and the ridiculous fangs in some trash can.  When he looked in the rearview mirror he could still see streaks of white from the makeup he’d mostly washed off.  Unfortunately he could see some blood on his lip, and not the fake kind.  Hopefully it would look better in the morning, before he had to sit across the breakfast table from his family.

When he opened the garage door he found that there were still a few lights on.  Normally catching Gabe and Belle kissing on the couch made him feel both good, because of how much they loved each other, and weird because who wanted to see their parents doing that?  Tonight, though, he just hoped they were distracting each other enough that he could get to the stairs before letting them know that he was home..

He should have known better.  FBI agents, even when one was retired, were not people you snuck away from.

“Aren’t you going to say goodnight?  Or perhaps good morning?”  He couldn’t ignore Gabe, and took a deep breath.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me.  I would have let you know I was home.”  He knew they worried, and understood it.  Appreciated it, even.  Before meeting Gabe he hadn’t known anyone could care about him.  

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, Bay, we just…”  Belle stopped, and got off the sofa.  “What happened to your lip?”

“It doesn’t hurt.”  Or it least it didn’t until Belle touched it, no matter how soft her touch was.  “It was a good party.  Most of it.  There was just this one guy.”

“Someone you liked?”  Gabe asked, frowning.  

“Hell no.”  It hadn’t been that long ago that he’d told Gabe how he felt about guys.  Had said the word ‘gay’ outloud.  Gabe had told him it was the person that mattered, not their gender.  He’d also gone into embarrassing detail about what it meant to be safe and protected.  There had been a guy at the party and there might have been some fumbling in a literal closet, but he wasn’t about to talk about that.  “Someone who liked a girl that didn’t like him back.  He didn’t accept the word no.”

“Bastard.”  Gabe’s expression could only be described as a snarl.  Belle touched his arm and gave it a squeeze.

“Is she alright?”  Belle asked.

“Yeah.  I gave her a ride back to her dorm.  Dom was too busy holding his nose to notice where we went.”  He wasn’t ashamed at the pride he felt in what might have been a broken nose.

“I’m glad she’s safe.  And you are too.”  Belle kissed his cheek.  “Now let’s go get some ice for that.”

II

“It’s too much to hope that the experience has soured him on parties, isn’t it?”  Thirty minutes later Bay had gone to bed, Claire had been checked on and was still sleeping in her costume, and he and Belle were finally getting ready for bed.  “It was easier when he was still in high school.”

“He’s smart and he’s kind, and he’s not alone.  That matters, sweetheart.”  Belle spoke from the bathroom.

“At least Halloween is over for the year.”  He stripped out of his clothing and slipped under the blankets.

“Not until the sun rises.”  When Belle came out of the bathroom she wore a witches hat and a black lace nightie covered in bats.  And nothing else.  “Not everything about Halloween is bad.”

He had to agree.