#i'm not really used to that anymore since most rpgs I've played in a while worked at least somewhat similarly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fismoll7secinv · 2 months

Text

15 questions, 15 people:

I was tagged by dear @a-very-fond-farewell 💚I hope you get your lobster sanctuary! 💚

1. are you named after anyone?

nope

2. when was the last time you cried?

I don't know, I don't really cry

3. do you have kids?

never

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah, quite casually in everyday life, but I try to tone it down

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I'm bad with faces, I might not recognise someone who's new to me after interacting with them every day for 2 weeks (based on a true story) xdd so what I notice at first is the overall vibe they present, which is a combination of their posture and body language, clothes and accessories, facial expressions etc. This doesn't tell absolutely accurately who they are, but it shows how they want to be perceived mixed with some unconscious elements they might not notice themselves, which is interesting to me

6. what’s your eye color?

eh idk, people say they're blue when I'm in a blue pool, green when I'm among greenery, grey when it's a bit dark. I guess they're a subtle mixture that looks like nothing until there's something external that brings out one of the colors. it's a bit annoying tbh, so I usually just say grey

7. scary movies or happy endings?

i love horror, very high on my list of fav genres, but I also love happy endings, just not necessarily in horrors. In media other than horror I need HE or I feel down. So i'd say: both

8. any special talents?

I've had a music talent since I was little, couldn't understand how other kids didn't know how to play the flute or keep the rhythm. I've also heard various ppl say that I somehow know how to arrange things to be aesthetically pleasing, but I could never explain how to do it, it just looks better a certain way. A bit for drawing, considering how fast I improved compared to some other people, but I haven't pursued it farther than sketching. Sport comes pretty smoothly to me and my body, I've always been "the athletic girl"

I may sound like i'm bragging but i try to be objective for my own self. After all "talent" means nothing and is just bitterly wasted if you're not practising, so for me it can be more of a shameful thing that I let rot rather than something to be proud of. It's also so useless when teaching others, because you don't know how to explain shit when you do it intuitively, which tripped me a lot of times while trying to teach someone. Very annoying and sometimes isolating in a sense that you just vibe with yourself instead of sharing the experience with others

9. where are you born?

in a hospital

10. what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, taking care of plants, pen & paper rpgs, collecting weird trinkets and paintings, drawing, horror movies, detective stories, listening to podcasts

11. do you have any pets?

we have a dog but I moved out of my family home recently and the doggo stayed there, I still visit often and walk him, but it doesn't feel like he's really mine anymore :(

12. what sports do you/have you played?

I did gymnastics and horse-riding for a few years as a kid, used to jog in middle/high school, I also go on a trip to the mountains at least once a year to hike bc I'm obsessed with it. Recently I like to do yoga and fitness to bring my body to its limit and stretch all the pains that keep accumulating. I almost didn't move from my desk for over a year some time ago because i was too busy with uni, work and a few other big things, and it ended up in a neck injury that escalated to a few months of rehab. Now I move a lot so those nightmarish pain and several contusions don't repeat

13. how tall are you?

taller than most women and many guys

14. favourite subject in school?

all languages, math, biology

15. dream job?

neuroscientist, astronaut or pilot of small planes

I have no idea who did this already, feel free to ignore as always. Tagging @prommethium @miyakuli @still-gathering-roses @carmine-sunlight @wikipedie

#tag game #shh yzz #niki

8 notes · View notes

koalammas · 1 year

Text

Tagged by @rochastocade

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of. Had i been amab, mom would have named me after the man she believed should have been her soulmate (but wasn't my dad). They met in Italy while she was interrailing and her wristwatch died when he introduced himself. (His name was Alex)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Around and after April 19, after hearing the news of Moon Bin's passing.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I would love to have someday. I'm just not in a situation where it would be wise for me to raise a child, I feel.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, that's not really my speed.

5. What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Outfit and overall expression of self. The manner in which they treat me. (I mostly meet customers. You can tell instantly which ones are nice)

6. What’s your eye color?

Green. The type of annoying green that ya authors wax poetic abt lol you know what I mean

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

These two are not mutually exclusive. A satisfying ending is more important, but I would prefer if its also a happy one. I'm trying to watch more scary things.

8. Any special talents?

I can pop most of my joints. I love organising and categorising things for myself and for others. It's pretty difficult to deter me.

9. Where were you born?

Ivalo, northern Finland. I have not lived there since I was a toddler

10. What are your hobbies?

Gardening, bullet journaling, digital drawing. Tabletop rpgs (starfinder and dnd, we used to play pathfinder). Reading and trying to be more active in watching different movies. Id love to say video games but ive only really played The Sims 4 and Acnh lately. Running when the weather allows it.

11. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore, but I used to have an older gentleman miniature poodle who was too tall to actually fit the miniature category. I love him dearly. One day I would like to get another dog, probably another poodle. I love how particular they are about things.

12. What sports do you/have you played?

I used to compete in swimming until I started high school. I've also danced a wide variety of genres from ages 7 to 19, and attended a couple of national competitions for modern dance. I had to quit because my joints got too fucked up and I fell out of friendship with my back then bestie. Now I just run and do home youtube workouts because I don't like going to the gym.

13. How tall are you?

161 cm ish I think? Which is like... 5'3 or sth

14. Favourite subject in school?

I've always loved languages, and had incredibly supportive teachers both in finnish and English as a foreign language. Swedish as well, but I never quite clicked with those teachers on the same level hence why my Swedish is more ..so-so. Art obv. Honestly? Everything else except for maths, physics and chemistry I found enjoyable. Oh and .. social economics? Probably would have liked the subject but I hated the teacher. Aside from those, learning new things has always been a joy.

15. Dream job?

Honestly? Something that won't drain me and actually leaves me with savings and a will to live.

Bonus: any significance to your blog's name: its the finnish version of my main blog's url, koalamb. Literally just a mashup of two fun little guys who are both known to be .. not the smartest cookies out there.

Tagging @varsbaby @moviestarmijoo @zeesqueere @seekingthestars @sapphicshawol @alexanderfuckingwept @phoradendron if you're up for it, but honestly if you see this and want to do it you can say I tagged you xoxo. Feel free to ignore, but I'd love to learn more abt mine moots

#tag games #liinatalk

9 notes · View notes

autisticempathydaemon · 1 year

Note

Alright, let's do this, i guess

My ennagram is propably either 6w5 or 5w6 i'm not quit sure

I do watch a lot of video essays, too many to name any favorites, most of them about fiction/media analysis, a few channel examples being: cj the x, ragnarrox, lindsay ellis, ladyknightthebrave (though i've admittedly only seen her the haunting of hill house/bly manor videos), what's so great about that & hbomberguy (fuck tommy tallarico)

My favorite audio rn is probably "Your Chaotic Roommate Confesses His Feelings For You", for multiple reasons i probably can't get into in a post like this

In terms of who hold no appeal for me, mostly david but also vincent, he's just too idk clasically romantic for my tastes

Speaking of which, i'm generally not the most traditionally romantic person which sometimes makes me worried that i'm not affectionate enough/in the right way for people

I generally love horror and/or fantasy and/or mystery media of all types.

I used to watch a lot of rpg maker horror game lets plays during a generally rough time in my life (though i've still never played one of them myself) mostly the channel manlybadasshero and the german channel nesfatelp.

The professor layton series of puzzle/mystery games are a cornerstone of my child & and early teenagehood, the two with the spookiest athmospheres (the diabolical/pandoras box and spectres call) probably being my favorites if i had to choose. I also recently (finally) started getting into the ace attorny series.

In terms of platonic attraction: just the entire damn squad, including gavin.

I don't really have any guilty pleasure favorites i think, but for some reason i had this weird cheap dvd which was a fairy tale themed collection of german knock studio cartoon films as a kid. There where a few by this studio called dingo pictures (as i would later find out, here's the german wikipedia page since there isn't an english one: https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingo_Pictures) on there including an alladin knock of (here's a clip of it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2u4h5STlXUc&pp=ygUVYWxhZGluIGRpbmdvIHBpY3R1cmVz)

It seems to be the same german animation team/studio as that film where the yeee dinosaur meme/clip comes from (this one:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EoRBvdVPQ&pp=ygUMeWVlIGRpbm9zYXVy)

Though the dino movie wasn't on the dvd, probably since it isn't fairytale themed, so i never saw that one as a kid.

And there also was a bambi knock of by dingo pictures called goldie that i even had as a seperate dvd of as well for some reason (here's a clip: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b_WNza6_Z2c&pp=ygUMR29sZGllIGJhbWJp) there also where films clearly made by other small studios on that dvd as well, it really was a weird mix.

And although i could even as a kid tell that these films were objectivly "bad" i still found some strange enjoyment and fascination in them at the time and looking up these clips gave me immense nostalgia, i even have to say i enjoyed goldie more than disney's bambi, simply because it was more intersting in it's strangeness while i found bambi always boring.

Well, there you go, hope that's enough/helpful

Addendum: As a kid i used to always just say my hobbies are reading and drawing/painting and while i still like these activities (and i still read a book every once in a while) it started to feel kind of dishonest since i haven't actually been doing these things as much anymore (especially drawing/painting, i really need to get back into that) so last year i started to get into new hobbies i had interested in trying for a while, like learning to play guitar as well as starting to do archery and now also wanting to get into general martial arts (i mean, i gotta get buff arms somehow, right)

Ooh, I like you. Type 5w6, the Troubleshooters, are such an interesting type, and you have fantastic taste in movies, interests, video essays, and games. You know who else would like you? Guy~!

The enneagram types you align with, plus the video essays and games you like, give me the vibe of someone really thoughtful and in their head, like Honey, and we all know what a fuckin great match they are with Guy. This also works because Honey doesn’t strike me as traditionally romantic or saccharine sappy either.

I’m imagining a really loving, lowkey in its intimacy kind of relationship, the kind that’s built on a companionable compatibility you two have. It’s lots of chill nights watching horror movies that he talks through non-stop, mystery movies where he always guesses the killer. Its trying new hobbies, sports, and classes together and getting adorably, lovingly competitive. It’s Guy being very cute but entirely unhelpful with the Professor Layton puzzles.

Song:

It's funny 'cause you drive me half insane/ A universe without you would be thoroughly mundane/ There's no one else I'd rather fall in love with/ And that is my best friend in the world

Yeah, I’ve just designated you Honey-kinnie, friends/roommates to lovers vibes, I hope you’re okay with that /lh Guy’s just the perfect guy (ha) for sneaking himself into your heart, you know? He’s there and silly and incorrigible and inexplicably charming, and then you can’t imagine home with him.

Runner-Ups:

Asher is a really cute choice for runner-up because he strikes me as a scaredy-cat who pretends to be tough, and I love to pair wimps with horror buffs. Ollie is also a good option because I think you, he, and Guy would like all the same things. That would be a really cute fucking friend group actually.

note: you have, again, excellent taste in video essays I highly recommend ladyknighttothebrave’s video about Sense8 it’s my favorite one about one of my favorite shows 💕 you’re also totally fine for sending in two asks, all input is helpful and valuable 💚

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #redactedverse #busybee matches

5 notes · View notes

sekhithefops · 10 months

Text

Sekhi's Big Boopin' "Games I Played in 2023" List.

So, since my buddy @moxpunk did one of these I figured I'd join in on the fun. As with her list...

There's gonna be spoilers.

There's gonna be a lot of games.

This will be limited to games I didn't play until 2023. Either because they came out this year, or because I didn't get around to them. I got into some, like Elden Ring, good and hard... but I got that one in 2022 for example.

Ready? Here we go!

Warhammer 40k: Rogue Trader:

So this is one I started just recently, but its a hell of a lot of fun so far. Owlcat is the same company that made the Pathfinder CRPG games (Kingmaker and Wrath of the Righteous,) and they brought the same level of love and detail to the 40k universe. Its still a bit buggy, but unlike Bethesda they have an excuse of actually being a smaller indie studio and, unlike Bethesda again, they actually patch their games so give it a month or two if bugginess is a deal breaker, but I heartily recommend this one!

Steamworld Build:

A city management sim set in the cutesy cartoony robot-wild-west world of Steamworld. Its... okay. Its not horrible, but its not something I really feel like I'm going to get too huge into. If you're into city management games then go nuts, but in my case I've already got a lot of games that do what its doing already so it just feels like one more to the pile for me. Sadly that happens a lot these days with how many indie games come out every week anymore.

The Caligula Effect 2:

I got the original a while back but wound up returning it as it didn't grab me, but the sequel always had my eye so when it went on sale during the Steam Autumn Sale I wound up nabbing it. The sequel, happily, is far better than the original one. A great soundtrack (if you like Japanese music, which I do) and some fun as heck characters with an interesting presence of an evil Vocaloid whose music pulls anyone with regrets into a very anime Matrix essentially. Its weird, but most good RPGs, especially modern ones, are gonna be weird. Its part of their charm.

Bonus points for my fellow LGBTQA+ peoples, one of the main characters is cannon non-binary. Try to guess which one. :D

Dredge:

A fishing sim with a Lovecraftian twist. Fish up your catch to make money, but don't be shocked if some of the stuff you fish up has multiple eyes, or whispers dark secrets, or just wants to slap you with a tentacle. It can be fun, but also a bit frustrating at times too. Solid B+.

Undernauts: Labrynth of Yomi:

Hm. Its... hm... its... something. Its certainly something. A first person dungeon crawler with turn based combat along the lines of the old Wizardry games, but... well... very surreal dark urban fantasy set in Japan... sorta... except its evil parallel not-Japan.

Its... something. But it sure as hell isn't worth $60. Do what I did and wait for a Steam sale if you're gonna give this one a go.

Dungeons 4:

I was a big fan of Dungeons 3 so I fully admit to bias here, but I'm having a blast with this one. A ton of over the top cheesy tongue in cheek parody of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and more in a game that basically does very well with the formula of the old Dungeon Keeper games that EA completely fucked up. The humor might not be your thing, but this is a good one for my collection.

Flipwitch: Forbidden Sex Hex:

Go ahead and mark my blog NSFW like every other queer person Tumblr, I'm including this one! I swear I felt like I was having a bit of a stroke when I first played it. I found the one good adult video game on Steam! A retro style 2-D metroidvania game where you play a witch that can swap sexes at will. You use it for sex of course, but also some really interesting puzzle mechanics that can involve swapping between male and female in mid-jump to bypass barriers and other obstacles as well as dodge enemy attacks. They took kinky sex stuff and made a good game! I didn't think that actually happened on Steam!

My Time at Sandrock:

I really don't know what to say here, I just don't care for this game at all. Its just... eh. I think its because I tend to favor Survival/Crafting games which have a lot more creative freedom than this one does, but... well yeah. Its not a bad game, but its bad for me. Moving on.

9 Years of Shadows:

You are a knightly woman who is backed up by a magical plushie who you recharge by hugging it and singing to it in a world where color has been consumed by a ravenous shadow. Dear gods its a Care Bears special.

Blacktail:

A really unique take on the old Slavic legend of Baba Yaga, set in a fairytale world where you play as Yaga (or is it Baba?) Its quite the trip, though I didn't play it for very long. Its one of those games I keep saying I'll finish one day and then OOO! SOMETHING SHINY!

Coral Island:

Its... alright. Its Stardew Valley but on a tropical island... but thats kind of the problem. Its Stardew Valley but. It runs into the same problem that the aforementioned Steamworld Build did where I already have other games I like that do the same thing. So yeah... decent enough, but don't be shocked if it's just another for the pile.

Dragon Quest Treasures:

A spinoff of the recent Dragon Quest installment (number eleven if you're keeping track) where you play as the thief character Erik and his sister when they were kids as they go on an adventure to become treasure hunters. Its... well... its alright, but it just didn't click for me. I feel like some of these Dragon Quest spinoffs are coasting on name recognition sometimes and this is definitely one of them that gives that vibe. I haven't tried the new Dragon Quest Monsters title yet though so maybe that'll be good.

Gunbrella:

Boy Devolver Digital does some weird shit don't they? Its a decent enough metroidvania style game where you play as a man on a quest for revenge with an umbrella that is also a gun. You uncover occult mysteries and it all has this 1920s Noir-ish vibe to it. Its a fun enough game... but I only played it for an hour and a half and I'll be damned if I could tell you why.

Persona 5 Tactica:

Look. I loved Persona 5, I even had fun with Strikers... but for crying out loud Atlus the bottom of the barrel has been reached. This one is a perfectly fine entry if you really like tactical RPGs a-la Disgaea and the like, but I think we're all ready for Persona 6 now! Don't even get me started on the damn mobile game.

Remnant 2:

The dimension hopping adventures of a heroine with an acid-flamethrower, a cursed rifle that shoots fingerbones, and her companion Captain Sparky McBorkbork the Wonder Dog. What more need be said? Its fun as hell, give it a go.

Shadow Gambit: The Cursed Crew:

A pirate stealth 'em up where you command a ghost crew of undead swashbucklers fighting the not-inquisition with a sentient pirate ship that has the power to reverse time in a way that allows you to use the stealth game 'that didn't happen' mechanic in a way that fits into the story itself. I've been hearing people say that it seems weird this didn't do better... but I think I might know why it didn't.

Shadow Gambit's release date: August 17th 2023.

Baldur's Gate 3 release date: August 3rd 2023

To quote Messir Robin Williams: "AHA! A CLUE, SHERLOCK!"

Two games that, at a glance, are very similar (top down, mouseclick to move, RPG elements, etc) but one of them was a LOT bigger hyped than the other. Yeah... Shadow Gambit got overshadowed it seems.

Survival: Fountain of Youth:

A survival game where you're part of an expedition in the Age of Exploration from Spain to find the mythical Fountain of Youth. Its quite the title and very involved. You need to worry not just about food and water but things like sunstroke and sunburn, exhaustion, and the like. That being said it's still early access so maybe give this one some more time in the oven. Its neat so far, but they're planning a lot more for it.

Wildmender:

A cozy game with a twist. Your world was reduced to lifeless desert by someone fucking around with shadow magic and now you need to help restore it. Go from a tiny spring next to one of the few remaining trees into a massive garden by reawakening other springs, connecting them via digging rivers, and growing plants along the bank to bring life back to the desert... and occasionally fight shadow demons with a magic mirror. Good times.

Aces & Adventures:

I'm normally not one for card based games, but this one grabbed me and I wound up really enjoying it. A sort of combination of five card poker and Dungeons & Dragons where you pick one of five classes and adventure through the world and history to save it from an evil god. I stuck with mage and found that as long as I played it right there was very little that could touch me, but there's four others who seem neat too.

Evil West:

This came out in 2022, but I didn't play it until February 2023 so I'm counting it! A spaghetti western meets Van Helsing where you play a vampire hunter who literally punches the undead to death using steampunk weaponry and a shitload of guns. Its a heck of a fun ride that evokes the better action games from the 360 era. Think Warhammer 40k: Space Marine but set in the Wild West and using vampires instead of orks. There ya go.

Marvel Midnight Suns:

It is such a damn shame they screwed up the marketing for this so bad because my god this was fun as hell. Make your own character, then hang out with Spiderman, Captain America, Blade, and Deadpool of all people while saving the world from H.Y.D.R.A and Cithon. I had an absolute blast playing it and it genuinely saddens me that we might never see a sequel because they dropped the ball so hard on getting word out there.

Octopath Traveller 2:

An amazing follow up to the original game with much improved gameplay, some of the most endearing characters I've seen in a JRPG in a long time (I actually commissioned myself cosplaying Agnea because I liked her so much,) and some absolutely incredible music. Its really astounding what Square Enix can pull off when they remember why we loved them in the first damn place.

Also Ochette. She is a precious bean.

Lies of P:

Forgot to add a few of these as I played them on PC Games Pass and they weren't on my Steam list, but yeah one of those I played there was Lies of P which actually is the reason I got back into Elden RIng. Lies of P is a superb Souls-like that, while difficult, is never too difficult to stop me entirely (except for Laxasia I mean jesusfuckingchrist how am I supposed to dodge that?) I hear that either the DLC or the sequel will be their take on the Wizard of Oz which, given what I know of the works of L Frank Baum is going to be freaking nuts. Hell they'd barely need to change the Wheelers at all to make them into souls-like monsters, and I'm pretty sure I actually did fight flying monkeys in Elden RIng.

Hi-Fi Rush:

I didn't wind up finishing this as I'm just really not that great at rythm games, but ye gods did Bethesda get it right with this one. Really Yahtzee said it all back in his review before the Escapist collapsed and he and his cohorts fled to form Second Wind: "Hi-Fi Rush was simultaneously announced and released on the day of the Xbox showcase, which is something you only do if you’re really fucking confident in your game’s instant appeal and high quality. And by all the locally sourced meatless lasagnas in Hell do I hate to admit they were probably right to be." I didn't finish it, but what I did play was damned amazing.

Guardians of the Galaxy:

I forgot I even played this one until my Games Pass account reminded me this morning, but in hindsight it was pretty dang neat. I got to hang out with some of my favorite Marvel characters, I got to meet Adam Warlock who was one I'd never heard of but I wound up looking up on the wiki after the fact, and I got to meet Cosmo who is the goodest comrade. It was funtimes. Yahtzee, formerly of Zero Punctuation and now Fully Ramblomatic, calls these sorts of games a 'Ghost Train Ride' but, well, sometimes its fun to go on those if they've got some nice visuals and good voice acting.

Sea of Stars:

This one is one of those "I should really go back and finish this one day" games that I know, deep down, I probably never will get around to. A lovely throwback to classic SNES/Early PS1 era RPGs with lovely sprite-based visuals and some really fun enemies (I especially enjoyed the ghost pirate captain.) Definitely worth a try and I really will go back and finish it at some point no really pinkie swear.

Warhammer 40k: Boltgun:

Funny how this list begins and ends with a Warhammer game. I swear that wasn't intentional, I was just going through my Steam library and saying 'oh right, that one.'

Boltgun is a lovingly done boomer shooter set up in the Warhammer 40k Universe and is actually a direct spinoff of W40k: Space Marine from the 360 with a fragment of Inquisitor Drogan's power source serving as the principal macguffin you're after through the whole of the game, meant to bridge the gap between that fun ork-stomping simulator from a few generations back and the upcoming sequel this September (Imma 'cited. :3)

Its fun, its cheap, its short and sweet. Go blow up some heretics.

And yeah, thats the last of them. There were others, but none really worth mentioning. These are the ones I still remembered for whatever reason. Happy Holidays everyone. Here's hoping we get some more memorable titles in 2024.

#video games #2023 in review #steam #steam games #pc gaming

2 notes · View notes

youtharcade · 2 years

Text

One thing I've always wanted to do..

Not sure how controversial this is anymore, but I really want to have a home/travel emulation solution where I can play games on my dedicated emulation station (for now my Mac Mini 2012) and when I travel - I already have all the saves uploaded to my travel emulation device so when I play on there - I can continue where I left off. Then once I get home, I can upload those saves and continue playing on my home "console" - lather, rinse repeat ad nauseum.

Now - why would I want to do this? Truth be told, I've been playing emulated titles since the MID 90S. Yes, I'm old af. I get it. But the problem is - I never have save files from the 30 years of gaming I've done. Now, I've owned COUNTLESS games over COUNTLESS consoles over the years. I still have a Virtual Boy collecting dust. I also have a Gamecube and other misc consoles. I currently use a Switch for most of my gaming and a Series X when I want to hit up something more high fidelity.

Taking a detour for a moment, I want to say that the Switch is easily my favorite gaming device of all time. I get to play all my old favorites and new all in a package that I can ...Switch whenever I want and play handheld or on the TV whenever. This in turn made me realize the power the Switch has. While it may not be in Graphical oomph, but it allows me to play games that are as high quality as around the X360 era wherever I want. So - this got me thinking, what if I wanted to play even MORE titles that aren't available due to never getting a re-release or being so obscure (I'm a huge obscure Japanese RPG fan) that a re-release, remaster or whatever is nothing but a dream.

Enter my project. Thinking about it - I think my best bet is to use Retroarch - as I can use software on my Mac like Hazel to make sure whenever a file changes (in this case my saves..) that they instantly copy over to wherever it needs to go. So if it's from my handheld (which I'm still shopping around for) then it uploads to my console and vice versa. So for now, I'm going to figure what the best idea for this is and go from there...

0 notes

retphienix · 4 years

Text

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

#Retphienix #gaming #video games #gaming liveblog

5 notes · View notes

dracereads · 2 years

Text

So I want to talk about a little bit about reviewing books. This one is a long-winded one, so grab a snack because I can talk your fucking ear off.

So I think the best way to get started with a reviewing process is to basically introduce who I am and what I know about books, authors, and writing.

So. Let's start there. Hello, my name is Drace and I'm an AG/NB person who is 28 years old as of the time of writing this intro at least. I use they-them pronouns primarily, but I'm not one to chew your head off if you use the wrong ones. Because It's probably not done with ill intent.

In this contextual world of books and academia, I define myself as a writer. I've written a full manuscript or two in the past. However, I never thought my skill was good enough to pursue publishing them, and it definitely wasn't. No Loss There, LMAO. I don't actively regret that choice either as I will explain later.

I consider myself to be obsessed with storytelling, and I've been telling stories since I've been able to talk. I was always making my dolls into different characters and putting them through various crafty and crazy scenarios.

My passion to tell a good story only grew as I got older, with my nose buried deep in books, or playing video games (especially RPGS), watching anime, cartoons, and movies. As I made friends, I found myself surrounded with creative types who loved to read, write, and draw as much as I did. Together we wrote fanfiction, made stupid comics, and spent countless hours role-playing original characters, canon characters... or whatever the hell stupid kids come up with.

I am not a stranger to a good story and the emotions that come with them. There is nothing more intimate than a story that resonates inside, and you hold onto it like fragments of a dream you accidentally woke up from in the middle of the night. But like... life has a tendency to happen, right? I'm no different from anyone else when it comes to suffering trauma, tragedy, and the pain of growing up.

However, I've never really had good coping or relationship skills due to my issues, and eventually when I turned 17 I had an extremely bad burn out. What's worse is that I had no idea what was going on, no real words to explain it, and nobody who had the ability to recognize the issues within me as I explained them.

I used to think that what I experienced was just... a deep depression. However, looking back on it. It was so much worse. To use words now; it was like being stuck at the bottom of an endless abyss where I genuinely thought I would never get out of again. There was a time where I thought I was not going to live to see my 20s, and I was prepared to die then and there.

I dropped my academic aspirations and I nearly flunked out of high school. I did NOT care anymore. About myself or the world around me, and I just. let myself be swept up in the current of my parents, teachers, counselors, and remedial educators dragging me along to finish school while I waited to die. I spent most of my time burying my nose in classic books like Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice to get me through work I didn't have the emotional or mental capacity to handle.

I ultimately chose not to pursue higher education because I didn't know what was wrong with me... or why what was happening did. I was always so afraid of the thought that I would get myself unstuck, only to end up sinking back into the pit because I didn't know what put me there in the first place.

Also, this was also the time in my life that my chronic issue-- illness? I'm not sure what to describe it as. Also started to manifest. So I leaned into that because it was the justifiable excuse that everyone seemed to accept. Mental illness was unacceptable, but a physical illness? Wow that a lot. Please keep in mind that I grew up in a rather conservative area and household, and that mental illness is very stigmatized as a result.

Most people don't understand what burn out is exactly until it happens to them. I hope for your sake, dear reader. That you don't have to go through it and my words reach you in some way if that's the path you're on. I will try to put this in an allegory, but leave no uncertain terms. Think of your mind as a forest.

All your interests, passions, creativity weave together to form a tapestry of interconnected skills, values, aspirations, and dreams that form the trees, shrubs and canopy of your mind. That's what protects you from the outside world and helps you define your sense of self.

Depression in my experience is a dead tree or two, and in the worst case of it. Many dead trees that need to be clear cut away to help the ones still thriving remain. However even with the trees removed, you still have stumps, logs, branches and leaf debris to remind you that there was something there once. You can start again because you still have landmarks in your mind. Your brain will heal itself over time if you nurture it back to health. If you have dead trees in your mind, you need to take care of them. You need to take care of yourself to ensure that you still have plenty of living trees in your head.

Burnout is a fucking forest fire. Not only does it destroy dead trees, it ravages and eats away at the living ones. Eventually it will raze everything in your mind. You are left with nothing but an empty canvas. With barely any reminders of what existed before, and how it existed. You exist solely in the despair and blackened remains of who you were.

There is hope though. Even through all that. We all carry the capacity to heal. New things take root... and you work through it. You start over again. And I genuinely tried.

However, I quickly lost traction and fell back into despair. I had come to lose my mental acuity, one treasure I didn't know I had until it was gone. I had moved out of my parents home and lived a few sucky years trying to work through my burn out while working an adult job. One morning going to my shitty job resulted in a devastating car accident, which caused a traumatic brain injury.

Suddenly this world I was at least used to navigating had changed again. I lost all connection to who I was before my accident. I was an imposter in my own skin, barely recalling memories that supposedly belonged to me. It was like viewing your life as fragments of a dream you barely remember.

The stories that I could tell before and simple things like vocabulary and forming complete sentences or thoughts became excruciatingly difficult, if not impossible at times. I struggled to find simple words and circled my thoughts around and around trying to find coherency. It was agonizing.

I tried to bury myself in familiar habits and places, essentially "faking it until I make it back to myself" sort of thing. However, it became clear to me that I was never going to be who I was again. It was time to let that person pass away. So I spiraled. again.

On my downward trend, I happened upon an editor's blog who recommended a book by Rebecca Syme called "Dear Writer are you in burnout?" And i bought it because why the fuck not. Maybe she could tell me why my stories had fallen out of my grasp and maybe give me tips on how to reach a little further than what I could currently.

To put it bluntly: It was the first time anyone had put my situation into perspective for me without hearing a damn word I had said. She described it to a tee. Believe it or not, she was also the first person who bluntly told me to go seek professional help for it, because it would be beyond my ability to recover by myself.

So I did. I've learned so much since then and I am open and willing to share that trauma with you all now. Because I'm in a better place and I feel like it's not oversharing to explain that I'm not exactly conventional in what you would expect behind a keyboard on a blog about books.

Part of my progress is bluntly just to rediscover and discover passions again. I know for a fact that despite it all, I'm still a slut for a good story.

I spent the better part of the pandemic studying my ass off with books about reading, about writing, about character crafting, about literary design. I took a few courses in what I could online for free. A lot of that work suggested I pick up reading as a habit and a hobby again.

The theory is that you start building up a repertoire of stuff you like and dislike. Eventually that stuff will spark a fire in my imagination and eventually reignite my creativity to write. Theone thing I want to do more than fucking anything.

So that brings me to reviews now. Given my struggles I absolutely want to stay the fuck away from brutual critique. I am not here to tear anyone down. This is especially coming from a place where I have done so in the past to myself and others. It's toxic and I'm not about it.

I can tell you from experience that writing is stupidly hard. Good writing is about 10 times as difficult as that! Cruelty should have no place in creative spaces meant for creators. That's what I strive to be. So we'll be having none of it here thank-you. However, that does not mean to say some authors and writers do not deserve a good kick in the ass from time to time. We're all human. We all make mistakes. I feel like most people deserve grace. So no brutality does not mean no critique.

I know for a fact there are some authors and writers that are real pieces of human feces out there, and they are actively seeking a punch in the face and I can get behind them getting what they deserve. I'm going to avoid the hell out of these people if I can help it.

However, this facet of writing is 1000% new to me. I don't have a discerning eye for bad apples and troublesome people yet. To be honest, the only time I ever researched authors, literary agents, or publishers was for school papers. I sort of read and consumed whatever the fuck without stopping to consider who wrote it and why for the majority of my life.

That has changed with the start of this blog. Here I am, jumping feet first into this part of the process. I am fairly confident in my ability to swim and I think I'll be fine. But please forgive me if I sink and drink a few times while I'm learning the ropes. Patience and kindness is much appreciated in advance. Thank-you.

So. Now I want to make a discernment in terms. I do not consider being an author and a writer to be entirely synonymous. They are two entirely different beasts.

I feel like the author tends to refer to the business side of writing. It's the stuff you do in order to market your book. It's the editing, publishers, agents, book-covers, interviews, jacket sleeves. It's about the person and their works as a brand.

Saying you're a writer refers to your skill at writing. This is your story itself, its characters. Its themes. it's the deeply rooted psychological trauma and biases that you slip into your work without your notice kinda stuff.

Now. You can be shit at being an author, and you can be shit at being a writer. They are two entirely different connotations.

Examples:

C.S. Pacat, the writer of the Captive Prince series is a SHIT author. She's doing much better now, but when she first came out. The books were hard AF to find, and there was next to nothing you could do in terms of research on her or her views. She was a damn ghost.

GREAT WRITER. SHIT. Author.

The reverse of that is Stephenie Meyer. Steph is arguably a mediocre and high-school level writer. I've met role-players who could logic circles around that woman and still use Linkin Park as an inspiration for a scene.

However, I think Stephenie Meyer is a great example of a kick-ass author. She had a superb marketing team who put her into the hands of her target audience, and had such a captivating presence with her fans that they took her viral. They were rabid. I still remember my sister going to the releases for Breaking Dawn when the book was published.

What I wouldn't give for Stephenie Meyer to write a tell all on Twilight... but like she could skip all her writing advice. I just want to know what it was like to be that badass of an author. Give me the deets on what you did after your manu girlie.

Anyway, I'm starting to digress from my point. Which was author =/= writer.

So while I may not know jack-all about the author side of this shindig, I can hold my own on the writing side.

Writing is a skill. I've worked with good writers, bad writers. I've read bad stories. I've celebrated good stories with bad writers who grew into writing them. I've won academic awards. I won amateur contests. I've tutored in writing. I've done peer reviewing. I've done brainstorming sessions.

There are probably a few people who would go "OMG NO. THIS BITCH AINT" and an equal amount of people who would go "OMG DRACE HAS FINALLY DONE IT. I'M SCREAMING" in a hypothetical reaction to this blog. I've been awful. I've been good. I've been here a long fucking time.

So. I love. love. love. writing. And not being able to do what I love kills me.

So when people write and especially get through the hell and tribulations that is getting a manuscript published, I feel like I need to be able to handle their artwork like it's fragile. I want to handle my thoughts with precision and care. I want to be able to tell you what I think without making it my mission to make it be the only thing you think about a piece. Just enough to pique your own curiosity without telling you how to think on it for yourself.

Oh. and another thing I should mention: I absolutely love bad books. It's always so fascinating to me to dissect them and figure out what went wrong. What is it exactly that's not working right? Is it just not to my taste? Am I just too stupid or too traumatized for this piece?

Because of that, some things you would consider bad I might gloss over or not give a grievance to. I am very gentle with flaws, plot holes, and bad characters, and shit premises. Good writing is hard. They're making the effort to put themselves out there. I can be kind.

Don’t get me wrong though. There are some books out there that are so bad that even my kindness can’t save them. I’ve got plenty of 1 & 2 star books that have been finished. What I do with them is set it to the side and skip over writing about them. I’d rather push out 3-Star and above books at the moment.

It is eventually my intent to start trickling “bad” books into the mix. Those are going to be books that are going to get a lot of written attention because those are going to be more instrumental in my own growth as a writer. That’s not to say that I’m not growing more powerful as a writer on the dopamine hits that the good ones provide. This is a good time to mention that when I read books, I actively take notes when I read. I have a notebook and pen with me all the time. If I don’t, I literally have a phone with a built in stylus so that I can start scribbling down plot points, arguments, and thoughts that I have at any time. Something funny? Annotate. A stupid meme idea? Write that shit down for later. Copy a sentence down and start riffing off of that section and be like “wait no what why” like a damn margin. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Not only that but I do have some 5-star piece reviews that I have crafted and fully written out in my notebook. I sort of just slop them down in the same fashion as this piece you’re reading right now, and do a lot of editing, tweaking, and restructuring when I transcribe them digitally. However, I feel like I’m not technically qualified to share my opinion on some of those pieces without doing more research. I’d rather do the research and grow my opinion from reliable research than homebrew it from life experiences. So they’re probably going to be a lot different after the editing is over. And that doesn’t concern me in the slightest. I’m not really in any rush to just slam out work I’m not ready to share yet. However, everything that I’ve done so far has been so much fun. I don’t want to ruin that fun by trying to force myself through something I’m not feeling at the moment.

I already wrote a piece about realistic expectations on this blog. However, the part I failed to mention is that I’m a bird with attention issues. So sometimes you’re going to get nothing at all for weeks. And then sometimes you’ll get a piece like this where my passion strikes me and Heat of the Moment by Asia blares in my head as I slam my fingers on a 3k before editing and altering monstrosity. I’m sorry, inspiration and motivation just infects me strangely.

Anyway, I’ve had a blast working on this piece this weekend, from the writing, and now the editing. Though really I think I need to shut the hell up because like I said, this has already gone over 3,000 words. I absolutely make no promises, but these heart-to-heart deep talking things might become more of a thing. Especially if I get an example of something I want to think at length about. That would be something similar to that deep dive into All Boys Go To Jupiter that I did. I really do need more of that in my life.

Tdlr; Drace gives you their tragic introduction as your narrator, I share my thoughts on authors vs writers and how they’re different. I also explain why I tend to seem “nicer” and most stuff I end up sharing gets 3+ stars, and that I’m a goofy goober who gets random spurts of inspiration for no real discernible reason.

Peace and Love till next time, Lovelies!

#blog updates #misc

1 note · View note