#i'm so grateful for txt and their music to be part if my life

[binniesoob]

this wasn't supposed to make me cry.

[binniesoob]

the plan was to write a fun and light-hearted review but i guess that's not in the cards for me today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here's a bunch of feelings instead!

(no lore, literally just a lil rambling. feel free to ignore ofc - i'll probably post some unhinged reviewy thoughts later anyway :)

soooo... since this morning I've been trying to write a fangirling review full of memes for the name chapter: freefall like i've done before for other albums or their previews. you know, to have fun and scream about how good they sound or that line that made me go feral! and i do have something for a couple songs that i'll probably post later, but overall i kept failing because honestly that's not what feels right right now.

apart from back for more and do it like that (that are like an ass shaking break from dehydrating yay), i honestly sobbed my ass out with this album and i'm on the verge of doing it again as i'm writing this and listening to it.

the aspect that affected me the most was the lyrics and the way they delivered them. you can hear and tell how much txt grew musically. their vocals are really really great in every track, their styles more defined, and their overall group color too. they got back to the genres that fits them best (i think) - rock and disco -, experimented new ones - 80's new wave -, and something in between - rnb with dreamer that literally devastated destroyed demolished me btw, in more ways than one. when txt said in interviews and at the comeback showcase too that they keep trying to deliver relatable lyrics about their own struggles and feelings as well as their peers and the young, they weren't joking or overestimating themselves, they really are.

this album feels very personal to me. txt's songs always did, but with this i think we reached a new peak. i connected to it heart and soul.

personally, probably the one thing i love most about txt is how we share being in our twenties at the same time and how, despite different ethnicities, backgrounds, experiences etc, we are connected by our feelings and are able to sympathise with eachother and help eachother out, like, ahh... it just warms my heart. their music feels so close to me and that's honestly what any musician needs for them to become my favourite. once i connect on a deep level with their music that's literally all it takes.

I haven't opened up about this on tumblr before, but i've been pretty depressed this year. that's also part of the reason why i haven't been that active, together with being busy with uni stuff. i did had good days, i've been hanging in there, trying to focus on the good things in my life, but overall it's been hard, and i'm trying my best to get better soon because it's been tiring. i get so angry at myself because i have so many things in my life to be happy and grateful for, but i still get anxious and i'm still unsatisfied. i've been so frustrated about where i am in life, all the things i expected to be different by now, that i want to change but still can't, i've grown beyond impatient.

so, today, this album felt like the kind of understanding hug i've been looking for this year. growing pains is probably going to become what can't you see me was for me during the pandemic - an outlet to vent my anger and frustrations. chasing that feeling is going to be what take me home by ateez also is for me - my reminder to keep chasing what feels like home despite the hardships. dreamer is literally me condensed into a song (!?). deep down is there to remind me that even if my peculiarities can feel like a burden they're part of my identity and they shouldn't feel like it. happily ever after says it's okay even if things didn't go as i planned them, to embrace my failures and keep going even if life it's not a fairytale and it's unpredictable. i'll find my way. skipping stones feels like reading one of my journal entries where i write to my past and future self. and blue spring, a promise, has been here for me everyday since i heard it at the concert. with this album i didn't feel alone anymore, i felt that company and reassurance in a way i struggled to find until now, and i'm deeply grateful to txt for that 🤍