#i'm sorry for stirring shit up-- this is the first and probably will be the last time i speak about it

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

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user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

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user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

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user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

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user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

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user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

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user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[thebibliosphere]

With hindsight, I probably should have realized I was polyamorous/ambiamorous sooner than I did. (And to be clear, I realized it pretty young. I just didn't have the terminology for it.)

Ignoring the fact that five-year-old me used to watch Signing In The Rain! on a loop and was already making up stories about Don, Cosmo, and Kathy all living together in Don's big house and *gasp* holding hands (maybe kissing), I was never any good at shipwars.

Like someone would ask me, "What's your OTP?" and I'd be like, "Well, I guess I like X/Y, but also Y/Z is good too..."

And they'd be like, "No. I mean your one TRUE pairing," and I'd just blink at them like, I'm sorry, I don't understand the question.

I'm sure they thought I was trying to stir shit or being deliberately annoying, but I just... couldn't wrap my head around it. Why did I need to pick one thing? There were multiple options with different things that made them appealing. That's like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet and just drinking water. Which is fine! If water is all you want, great. But you don't get to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and judge people for eating different foods...

And when I eventually found out multi-shipping was a thing, I was like, "oh neat, that's what I do!" and while there was a definite feeling of having found my people, it was weird having the moral judgment from other people who seemed to think multi-shipping was a symptom of a greater moral character flaw. Like my inability to settle on just one thing meant I was more likely to cheat irl.

This wasn't helped by the fact that I... kinda already didn't care about monogamy? Not the way my friends did. I didn't mind that my then-boyfriend liked Sarah, too. What I minded was that he went behind my back and kissed her when he'd told me I couldn't kiss anyone else.

It was the betrayal of the agreement that hurt. Because we'd agreed. He'd asked me to be exclusive with him, and I did. And then he... didn't. And my friends couldn't grasp that.

It was all, "How could he kiss someone else?!" and my chief complaint was, "Why didn't he tell me first?!"

Anyway, if I could go back in time, I'd tell teenage me, you're not weird and amoral, you're just queer, polyamorous, and have ADHD, lmao.

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ May I have this dance? ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : It was a late stormy night at the hotel, you weren't able to sleep, but when you sneaked into the kitchen a certain red-haired demon was humming to a tune while cooking.

Pairing : Alastor x Reader

Word count : 1309 Words

Genre : Fluff

Warnings ➵ None

a/n : Dancing with Alastor? Sign me up (even tho I cannot dance and he would probably kill me for stepping on his feet..-)

Also I personally cannot dance, so I'm sorry if the description of the dancing seems a bit off!

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

For once it was storming in hell, it was a very rare occasion, but once it did storm, it was crazy. The whole city had a blackout, VoxTech was probably going crazy right now. Meanwhile, the hotel was cozy, Alastor used his magic and brought out some candles, so the hotel was clad in nice candlelight now.

Yet here you were laying in your bed, not able to fall asleep. Outside your window the rain was slamming against it, lightning and thunder could be heard every few seconds. Sighing you swing your legs back out of your bed, it is no use, you won't be able to fall asleep like this. Feet hitting the cold floor, a shudder running over your body. Slipping on some socks and a jacket, you take the candle holder from your nightstand and light the candle up again, before you make your way out of the room.

Slowly and quietly you make your way downstairs to the foyer and then to the kitchen, everyone else was probably asleep right now, so that's why you were almost going on your toes. Arriving at the kitchen, the door closed, you noticed soft light shining underneath the door gap, wondering who was in the kitchen this late at night. Opening the door a bit to slip a glance inside, you see Alastor at the stove, candles were lit all around the kitchen, indulging it in soft light. The stove was going with fire, probably thanks to Alastor's magic. He was stirring something in the pot, you couldn't see what it was, but the smell it gave off was enticing.

"How long do you intend to stand there and gawk at me, darling? Come on inside!" Alastor did not turn around at all, making you wonder how you were noticed, unknown to you, his shadow was watching you the entire time since you began to sneak a peak inside. Entering the kitchen now, you close the door behind you softly, pulling your jacket closer around you. Your feet carry you over to Alastor, glancing into the pot. He was making some stew, you couldn't really tell what every ingredient was, but it smelled good. "Open up dear~" Holding the wooden spoon up, he let you have a taste and it was incredible, he had a hand for cooking. It was a slight bit spicy, but not too much. "It's very nice!" Nodding now, as you slowly start to get the things out you actually came for, a cup of tea.

"Oh dear, let me make this for you, do take a seat." Grabbing the cup from your hands, you look at him a bit flabbergasted, yet do as he said and sit down. "Why are you even awake this late? And cooking on top of that?" Watching him, just now you notice how he was still wearing his normal attire, he hadn't changed into sleepwear yet. The only thing he took off was his coat and bow, the first button of his shit open, yet he still looked proper as always. "Oh I just felt like cooking something up, couldn't really rest." Was his answer to your question, afterwards it got quiet again.

Just now you notice how some jazz was playing from his staff, Alastor was tapping his foot along to the rhythm. It was a nice change for once here in hell, simply enjoying some music and calmness. "Do tell me, darling, do you dance?" Looking over his shoulder with a mischievous smirk, smiling and smirks were normal for him, yet this one looked daring and playful. "I'm not really skilled at it if I'm honest, I prefer watching others." Alastor's eyebrow quirked up a bit, the lid of the pot was placed on it now, letting the stew simmer for now. Your tea was almost ready too, as he strode over to you. His hand was extended out to you now, his playful smile a tad bit bigger now. "I beg to differ, my dear, I think you may be a skilled dancer, with the right person to lead you, so.. may I have this dance?" The jazz music getting a tad bit louder now, as he awaits for you to place your hand in his. For a second you were unsure, yet placed your trust in him, in other occasions this may be a bad idea, but right now it's simply a dance.

With a quick pull, you were on your feet, as Alastor slowly started to lead you, the music slowed down a bit, while he took the lead to guide you, probably taking it slow at the start right now. The dance was a swing to the jazz music playing, the more he guided you and twirled you around, the more you got the hang of it. Letting Alastor and the music guide you, the next song was slowly picking up the pace, he was obviously enjoying this, having fun with twirling you around to his heart's content.

"You see my dear, you were only missing the correct partner to make you a darling little dancer~" His words made you blush a slight bit, it wasn't unusual for Alastor to talk to you or Charlie with pet names like dear or darling, but somehow his words now had a different tune to it, they were soft, like he meant what he said with his whole heart. "I guess you're right.." Agreeing with him, as he now noticed how you were slowly getting out of breath, the music slowing down to a waltz, as he pulled you in closer to his body now, his hand now placed on your waist, as his other one holds yours in a soft grip, as on instinct your hand finds its place on his shoulder.

This felt different than before.. more intimate than the fun swing before, his face wore a soft smile, as he looked down at yours, your eyes avoiding his a bit now, too shy to face him. A chuckle makes you raise your head again though, noticing how close he was to you now, mere centimeters between you two.

"So mon amour, how did you like this?" The music was still going and so was Alastor, softly guiding you to the music, but not as concentrated anymore as before. "You definitely are a great guide, it was fun, though I was a tad bit nervous I must admit." Chuckling at your response, he nods. "Don't worry your pretty little head, you were fabulous, like a little dove." Letting your hand go now, he comes to a stop, takes a step away from you and back to the stove. Your breath was still the slightest bit harder from the dancing, you were just happy you didn't end up stepping on his feet or anything.

"Your tea darling, head on out to your room and sleep soon, it's late, can't have you missing sleep now can we?" The cup was placed in your hand, as he guided you to the kitchen door with a hand on your lower back. "Thanks, sleep well too Al!" Giving him a soft smile, as you turn to go back to your room. "Let's repeat this another time darling." His words bring a slight red hue to your face again, as you nod in agreement, before making your way back to your room. Alastor closed the door with a content smile, he didn't get to dance often, and dancing with you, his little darling? An amazing turn of events.

The next day the power was back and the storm gone, the cup on your nightstand empty and after exhausting yourself with dancing, you slept like a kitten this night.

And let's just say, Alastor pulled you into a dance here or there more often now than you thought he would.

[lalacliffthorne]

modern!batboys as (your) roommates - headcanons.

because let's be honest, we have all thought about that at some point.🦇

(this is the introduction of my new drabble universe!!! I can´t tell you how fucking excited I am.)

it would be wrong to say that your life was boring before you met the three idiots you now call your roommates

sure, it wasn't as exciting

but you had your tiny little apartment, went out with friends once in a while and mostly enjoyed having your own space and routines

but then

shit hits the fan

and by shit I mean your landlord

because of a loophole in the rental agreement, he's able to kick you out of your apartment with only a months notice

in other words

you're fucked

or, as your best friend Feyre, who you met the first week of orientation and became inseperable with, says -

"That bastard." Feyre's eyes are stormy.

"What the hell am I gonna to do?" You bury your face in your hands, your voice muffled when you mumble: "How am I supposed to find a new apartment in a few weeks? For this one, I looked over a year, and it's a glorified shoebox!" Your voice rises as you feel a wave of dread crash over you and your heart rising into your throat.

"Hey, it's okay. If worst comes to worst, you can crash at my place,", Feyre raises her brows, "even though we'd have to share my bed, but - I won't just let you sleep on a park bench if that's what you're worried about. Unless you find another glorified shoebox that's technically out of your budget, it's you and me, crashing on my bed, climbing over your stuff to get to the bathroom, finding out what married life would feel like."

even though you love her to death, that really does not sound like an option you want to explore

so you try everything

scouring every paper for apartment advertisments, posting on your uni's socials, going to all the viewings you can find -

nothing

but just when you're ready to just give up

a miracle happens

the miracle is 5'5, has impeccable style and hair, a love for deep red lipstick and drops by for lunch

Mor has been your friend for two years now, since you almost spilled your coffee over her laptop at the library

(she's still not letting you live that down)

she also likes to get you out of your comfort zone

"Are you serious?" Mor stares at you wide-eyed.

"Yep." You tiredly stir your coffee. "I've been turned away for twenty apartments in the past few days alone. I'm aready seeing myself bunking with Feyre. She offered, but her bed barely fits into her apartment as it is."

Mor breathes a giggle before hastily clearing her throat. "Sorry."

You grin weakly before rubbing your face. "I don't know what I'm gonna do. I know it could be even worse, but -"

"It already feels pretty shitty,", Mor ends. You sigh in confirmation and are about to change the topic, because you haven't seen the blonde in weeks and feel bad about ruining your lunch. But before you can open your mouth, Mor suddenly squints in thought. Then she looks at you.

"How much do you value your privacy?

Given the fact you'll be basically homeless on the street in about a week if you don't find a new place - not much.

Mor begins to grin, and there's a bright twinkle in her eyes.

"Well, then I might just have the solution."

the next day, Mor drags you downtown

she takes you to an old but sophisticated building you wouldn't even dream about living in

a single month's rent there would probably empty your whole bank account

but Mor just winks and pulls you up the stairs

on the third floor, a guy leans in an open door

and that

is how you meet Rhys.

Mor's cousin is annoyingly beautiful

tall, with perfectly tousled dark hair, a perfect grin that causes his cheeks to crease and, from the looks of it, the also perfect physique

he's also annoyingly charming

if you'd met him somewhere without Mor, you would have probably gaped for a moment before catching onto the mischievous twinkle in his nearly violet eyes and promptly avoided him, because someone that pretty had to have some fault

as it turns out, Rhys' fault is offering practical strangers to live with him without even batting an eye

"What?"

You blink at Mor from where you just sank onto one of the two very comfortable couches, because she can't possibly -

"Okay, before you freak out, just listen, okay?" Mor is grinning giddily. "The guys have a free room they don't really use anyway and you really need a new place - so you could just move in here!" She beams. "The place is definitely big enough, and you'd fit in perfectly, I promise! They're just as chaotic as you, but also very responsible -"

"Mostly." Rhys' eyes are twinkling. He's looking completely and slightly concerningly unbothered by the prospect of you, a factual stranger, moving in with him and his friends.

"- they don't have any bad habits, they're fairly neat -"

"Mostly."

Mor widens her eyes at you. "It's perfect!"

You blink at her.

"I've already talked to my roommates." Rhys' deep voice is almost soothing - mostly because he sounds a lot calmer than Mor, steady and reassuring.

"If you want, this can be temporary, until you find a place just for yourself, but this way you don't have to stress about needing to find a place in a certain time, plus,", he cracks a grin, "I don't like the idea of you having to crash on somebody's couch in the foreseeable future, that's just bullshit if we got a free room here no one uses anway. And if this works,", one corner of his lips quirks even more until his grin is a lot closer to the wicked twinkle in his eyes, "none of us would mind another roommate."

"You don't have to decide right now." Mor smiles brightly. "But I think it would be great, and you'd make a bargain with the rent, because Rhys loves to play sugar daddy -", her cousin flips her off, "and I think this would be a really good idea." She grins, suddenly a little sheepish.

if you weren't so desperate, you would whip out about a dozen arguments about why this probably isn't a good idea

like the fact that rooming with three dudes sounds like a lot of testosteron, or that you don't even know them, and that they don't even know you -

but from the way Rhys lounges in his chair, smirking easily while Mor beams at you, he doesn't seem to see too much of a problem in that

also you are very, very desperate

but there's still that one thing -

"About those roommates -"

When you hear the door, you raise your head, your heart doing a slightly concerning flip in your chest.

It's a day later, and you just finished the tour of the apartment Rhys has given you. Even though it's huge and very grand with it's high ceilings decorated with stucco and the original hardwood floors, it feels warm and cozy. The room you'd be sleeping in is as big as your whole current apartment, light with two big window and a view of the trees on the street outside.

It kind of makes you wonder where the catch is.

Maybe it's about to walk through the door.

You hear a deep voice and heavy footsteps, then a dude appears in the door to the kitchen.

Your heart does a somersault, and you feel your lips part a bit. Because frankly, it's a miracle he makes it through the door without hitting his head.

The guy's huge. His shoulders and chest strain against his t-shirt; he looks like one of those dudes who basically have muscle in their DNA, all corded muscle under ridiculously wide shoulders and a solid middle, muscular long legs under black jeans -

And you're staring.

Big time.

The dude's looking over his shoulder, which means he thankfully doesn't notice you oggling him. The half of his hair that isn't pulled back in a bun brushes against his neck when he grins, his cheeks creasing. He's really good looking, in a rugged kinda way, with his roughly curved jaw and the scar on the side of his face, and when he looks back ahead, his eyes twinkle warmly.

Then, behind him, another guy appears in the doorway, and your breath catches.

Because if Rhys is annoyingly beautiful, the guy in the door is drop-dead gorgeous.

Just like the other two, he's tall and all lean muscle. His shoulders shift under his black t-shirt as he leans against the doorframe, his hands sliding into the pockets of his black jeans. His eyes look like amber in sunlight, his dark hair is tousled, a strand curving over his forehead. His face is all angles and soft lips, with dark brows that look like he likes to crunch them in a scowl, but right now, he looks fairly relaxed, though his gaze is watchful.

And on yours.

Feeling warmth wash into your cheeks, you hastily look away while crap, crap, crap echoes through your head, because of course he caught you staring.

On to a really great start here.

Your gaze grazes his hands and the bit of uneven skin that merges into veiny, tan forearms before your eyes trail over the tattoos scattered over them, some peaking out from his sleeves.

There's the sound of someone clearing their throat, and you feel the heat in your cheeks deepen when your eyes dart up and meet Rhys', a twinkle in his iris when he sends you a lazy grin.

"Boys, this is Y/N." He raises a brow. "Our new roommate."

and that is how you meet Cassian and Azriel

it almost makes you reconsider

because you're really not sure you're gonna survive rooming with three guys that pretty

but after thinking it over for a couple of days, you realize that you really don't have a choice

and so a week later, Rhys and Cassian come over to your apartment to help you move the first half of your stuff

neither blink an eye at the fact it's about the size of a broom closet in comparison to their home

Rhys does however scowl when he sees the condition of the bathroom

you're ready to sink into the floor when you hastily explain pretty much all the apartments in the building look like that

(a lil dingy and moldy)

but when he turns, Rhys just glowers and grumbles under his breath about how he'd like to rip your landlord a new one

it's the first time you realize that under all the aloofness and swagger and cheeky grins, Rhys cares

it's proven again when you move into your new room a week later and there's a new mattress on the also new bed

you haven't bought either of them, but when you try to protest, Rhys just huffs about your back probably being fucked up because of your old one and about how he'll add it to your rent

he never does

you get used to rooming with three guys surprisingly quickly

sure, it is pretty much a total 180 -

going from living alone in a tiny apartment

to sharing a huge flat with three dudes who make the place vibrate with laughter and bicker like they have been married for thirty years

but even tho you never thought you'd be the type to actually enjoy having roommates

you find that with them - you don't really mind

of course it is nice to have the place to yourself sometimes

and after about two weeks, you're comfortable enough to blast your music and dance through the kitchen when you're alone

(yes, at some point, they catch you - it takes you about a minute to realize there are three guys standing in the doorway, watching you dance with a broom. you get a mild heart attack and Cassian and Rhys start cackling while Azriel smirks)

but even if usually there's always someone around -

you find that all three of them are very good at both respecting your boundaries and leaving you be when you need to curl up in your room

but also seem to know when you need someone to drag your ass out into the world

and something about knowing at least one of them will probably be there when you get home makes you feel very warm and fuzzy

and even tho you weren't completely sure about this situation in the beginning

you get roped into living with the three guys instead of just rooming with them pretty easily

it really starts with Cassian

probably gets used to you living there the quickest

after barely a week, he's treating you like you've lived with them since the beginning

like just sticking his head into your room and making you help him with dinner

it surprises you a little that they all have dinner together

from what you've heard from friends who have roommates, they usually all do their own thing most of the time

but it makes you realise that these guys are more family than just roommates

Cassian is surprisingly easy to talk to

he's quick with the quips and the banter

also very flirtatious

constantly makes you laugh, his deep, boisterous chuckles infectous

also super affectionate

you're convinced the man is actually just a huge teddybear

after just a few weeks, you're used to hugs that lift you off your feet

cheek kisses as greetings

and being casually lifted out of the way like you don't weigh anything

not that you're the only one who gets that treatment

no, there are hugs in greeting that make Rhys groan dramatically like his air supply is cut off

and pats on the shoulder and smacking forehead kisses that make Azriel crinkle his nose

Cassian quickly becomes the one you go to when you need advice

he always listens attentively

doesn't sugarcoat things

stays objective while never making you feel bad or less about anything

and it quickly becomes pretty clear he'd put everything aside if any of you ever need help

gives you rides in his beat up truck to uni

and always picks you up when studying at the library gets late bc he doesn't like the idea of you out alone after dark

with Cass, even mundane things like grocery shopping become fun

he's just casually funny and teases the shit out of you at every opportunity

has no understanding of the concept of personal space

and with most people, that would kinda put you off a little in the beginning

but Cassian just has something about him

something so inheritly good and warm and sunny

that he never once makes you feel uncomfortable

if anything, with him around, you feel a lot more at ease

and not just bc it's always nice to have a guy in your back that towers over you like a lighthouse

though the whole massive, tatted dude with the dark eyes thing kinda goes out of the window as soon as he grins at you

dimples and all

but still, don't be fooled

when the grin's gone and he's glaring, you know why people make way for him immediately

he works at a gym to earn some money at the side

once, he takes you with him just for fun

then that one time becomes another and before you know it, you tag along twice a week

and it would be wrong to say it's not doing something to you when he crouches in front of or behind you, his deep voice rumbling as he mumbles encouragements

"Alright, come on, sweetheart, gimme one more."

Trying not to make a very embarassing groaning sound, you crunch your face in concentration and slowly lower yourself into a squat, your muscles trembling slightly.

"There you go, that's it." You can feel Cassian in your back, spotting you, his deep voice rumbling through you, and it's just almost distracing enough for you to -

"No, no, come on, you can do it." Cassian's deep chuckle sets you at ease, and he lightly pats the side of your thigh. "You got this, c'mon."

With a soft groan, you push yourself up again, and you can hear the triumph and wide grin in Cassian's voice when he goes: "Yeeessss, good job, baby. C'mon, you can do one more."

Blowing out a heavy breath and glaring at nothing in particular, you ready yourself.

when one day, he makes you lose focus, you're gonna throw something at him

you're pretty sure he does it on purpose just to see how red you can get

but Cass is really good at pushing you without overdoing it, always teasing and encouraging

and if you manage to do something, in the gym or otherwise, he grins so widely you're almost sure he's more proud of you than you are yourself

Rhys is a flirt.

and after you get over the first initial blush that just won't leave you alone for the first few weeks

it actually becomes entertaining

now bantering back and forth is basically all you do

it gets so bad, Azriel constantly rolls his eyes at the two you

but just like you suspected, behind all the flirtiness and mischievous grins

Rhys cares

a lot

whenever you're upset, he looks like he's contemplating ripping apart whatever or whoever made you upset

and whenever someone has a go at Cass or Azriel, Rhys picks them apart with lethal precision and a wicked smile

if Cassian is most affectionate, Rhys is close second

he's slightly more casual about it

pinching your nose, flicking your ear softly, offering his cheek for a kiss in greeting

always down for amazing hugs tho

whenever you get on your period, Rhys turns full mother hen

it's actually quite entertaining to see a 6-foot-something dude grumble because you don't want to take painkillers

"I just don't like to take them until it's really necessary, okay?" You glower at Rhys, curling up on the couch and trying to suppress a wince.

Rhys incredulously narrows his eyes.

"You're bleeding from inner organs and look like you want to curl into the couch. I'd say it is pretty necessary."

behind all the snark and arrogance, Rhys cares

also seems to have a rather unhealthy tendency to put everyone else first

you catch on pretty easily that even though his father is absolutely loaded, Rhys doesn't particularly cares about his money

in fact

he doesn't hesitate to spend whatever money his father pumps into his bank accounts for a second

when you ask Mor about it, she just smiles lopsidedly.

"I think it's his kind of protest?" She squints into the sun shining onto the balcony of the flat, the big glass of iced tea in her hand glittering in the light. "You know, spending all that money, preferably on his friends? Mostly because I don't think his father really likes them."

You wince.

"He knows he can't win against his father." Mor crunches her brows in thought. "I think he came to terms with having to take over the business one day, and he cares about the people who have their jobs there, so he won't let them down. It's just hard sometimes, if your whole life is already planned out for you." She shrugs gently. "Doing this, living with Cassian and Azriel and now you, spending his fathers money on it and actually having a good time instead of just being bitter and stuck up - it's his way of not surrendering completely."

you have never met Rhys' father, but even tho he's powerful af

you really feel a strong desire to kick him in the balls

Rhys has a knack of knowing exactly when you need to talk and when you need to be distracted

it's not unusual that after a bad day, he just joins you on the couch, plopping down and pulling your feet onto his lap

it either leads to you venting and him listening

usually giving very appropriate responses of either huffs, scowls or downright glowering

or, if you don't want to talk

he either lets you use him as a human pillow, grumbling over your choice of movie while scratching your head

or he takes you out

to the cinema, a museum, the theater -

you're pretty sure you've grown a lot more cultured in a few months than the whole of your life before that

it never gets boring tho

the whole thing kinda annoys the crap out of you in the beginning bc he never lets you pay for anything

but you get better at finding ways to pay him back in other ways

like taking over making dinner on days when he's exhausted

coaxing rants out of him when his father gets to him

dragging him out on nightly walks through the city when he can't sleep

and after a while

you understand that it's just one of Rhys' love languages

and it is fun to spend his father's money ;)

especially when it means museum Saturdays with the two of you just sitting and staring at paintings

or going to the cinema and pigging out on popcorn and greasy stuff while whisper-hissing fun facts at each other

even takes you to stuff like wine tastings

Rhys is a foodie

likes super fancy pickles, trying food you can't even pronounce and splurging on dinner

and if he decides the two of you need to get out of the apartment

one way or another

it usually ends in a restaurant

always orders like half the menu

also cooks the best out of all of you

like I'm talking freaking perfection

whips up the fanciest, most delicious far-too-many-courses meal for holidays

and goes all in even if he just makes dinner

you often get lured into the kitchen by the delicious smells

usually ends up with you on the couch at the table while Rhys moves around the kitchen

talking about everything and nothing

(also not above slapping anyone's hand away if they try to sneak a taste)

Azriel is quiet

not shy; you catch onto that pretty quickly

he's too quick and easy on any dry remark in response to his friends' boisterous teasing for that

and his gaze too firm and piercing

rarely shies away when you catch his gaze

in the beginning

that intimidated the shit out of you

the way he appears without a sound, towering over you, all dark and quiet and brooding

it's like he perfected the art of going unnoticed

tho you're not quite sure how

bc how could anyone not notice him?

after a while tho

you realise that even tho Azriel is dark and glowering and brooding

there's something gentle about him

it surfaces in the smallest things

like how his lips curve the softest bit when you grin up at him

how light and careful his touch is

how he is always respectful, putting himself between you and the street, holding doors open without ever seeming to think twice about it

and how everything about him seems to darken when he witnesses anyone being treated poorly

but even if anger rages within him like a quickly rising tide, quiet and dangerous

you still always feel safe with him

maybe it's bc, even in those moments, you just know it will never be directed at you

and that even tho there's always that darkness within him, it's never something that feels unsettling or dangerous

and instead soft and welcoming

like something about him and that steady, dark gaze just calms you

maybe because he's so quiet, Azriel seems to see and hear everything

in record time, he begins to catch onto every little detail about you

mundane things

like how you like your favorite drink or what your favorite ice cream is

the only reason you know he notices is because he begins to hand you cups in the morning that are exactly right and the freezer starts to always hold a big container of your favorite ice cream

but also seems to know exactly what your tell is when you're nervous

uncomfortable

or tired

what makes you upset

happy

nervous

what causes you to giggle uncontrollably

and so on

it should probably unsettle you, how easily he sees through you

but it doesn't

sure, it's a bit weird at first

but you quickly realise it's strangely comforting - that someone pays enough attention to know even the smallest thing about you

Azriel is your favorite person to be around when you just need a break

it's like something about him is grounding, steady

like being around him makes your thoughts calm down

makes it easier for you to sort the chaos your mind sometimes becomes

you quickly realise that beneath all of the quiet watchfulness lies a wicked, dry sense of humor

his mumbled remarks make you snort laughter or beam widely up at him

always makes his lips curve

he reads a ton

when you first see his room, you almost gape

because the man has books

they fill the shelves

balance in towers on the floor

sit on the window sill and next to his bed

most of the books in the shelves in the living room are his as well

has a great dislike for movie adaptions

sits there with that scowl of his, glaring at you until it's over when you make him watch one

says it destroys the pictures in his head

(to be fair

you don't think he's entirely wrong about that)

always has a camera in reach

got a few, all older ones; no fancy digital ones, but all on film

just like he seems to catch onto everything

so does his camera

it's like the manifestation of his quiet perception of things

to fix things onto film

he captures everything

most of the time, you don't even notice

only sometimes you raise your head to find the camera in his hands, a slight curve to his lips

develops all pictures himself, in a dark room on campus students can book

spends hours in there, just working in silence

there's usually a lot of bugging involved before he shows the developed pictures to anyone

usually ends in all of you leaning over them eagerly, trying to figure out when he took them

Rhys standing in the kitchen, grinning over his shoulder like Cassian just made a bad joke

you and Feyre, laughing so hard you lean into each other

Mor, lying upside down on the couch while focusing on the cards in her hand while you're next to her, mid-motion, a focused expression on your face

Cassian napping on the couch, twisted in a very uncomfortable position to fit all six feet something of him onto the cushions

there seems to be an endless number, and they're all carefully stored away in his shelves

some, he refuses to show to anyone

it takes you so little time to feel at home in the huge flat, the prospect of looking for an apartment for yourself is off the table before you can actually start

and it doesn't take long until you're part of the routines like you'd been there since the beginning

Saturday and Sunday evenings are for movie nights

sometimes, Mor joins you

you sit with Azriel on the couch, sharing a big bowl of popcorn while staring at Rhys and Cassian argue about which Star Wars movie to start with

in the summer, you take trips to the lake for swimming and laying in the sun

have game nights

evenings sitting on the balcony, squinting into the setting sun

barbecues

and afternoons in the park, one joining in after the other

in winter, you go to the ice rink

bake together

and spend whole weekends on the couch, watching movies

you go to the gym with Cassian or accompany him on his runs

(well, he's running - you're on your bicycle, because there's no way you can keep up with that dude´s long legs)

or get dragged out onto hikes by Rhys

in the evenings, you usually all end up in the kitchen for dinner, banter thrown over the dinner table

Azriel and you mostly take care of the grocery shopping together

it usually entails you trying to reach something on a high shelf and Azriel huffing, moving to grab it without even having to stretch

sometimes Cassian joins in, and you both make it your mission to annoy Azriel until he cracks a grin

both Az and Rhys regularly give you rides on their motorcycles

while Cassian likes to stick to his old, beat up truck, Rhys has a car as well, but alternates between it and the motorcycle

more often than not, he uses it as opportunity to flirt

small cleaning duties in the apartment are rotated between the four of you

but big-once-a-month-deep-cleans are something you make a day of

blasting music, you divide the flat and get to work

(bathroom duty is rotated)

in the (very rare) case of an argument, it usually ends in one of you being mediator

which means after a cooling off period

the arguing parties are locked in the pantry until they've talked things out

works surprisingly well

sometimes, the boys bring someone home

it usually comes with a text

or the very oldschool sock on the door

tho you ban that one after Cassian forgets it

and you walk into the flat unsuspectingly only to be flashed

Cassian apologizes profoundly

after he's done laughing

there are also a few awkward encounters in the hall in the morning that leave you contemplating not running around in just big t-shirts

Feyre still gives you rides to campus and back

but sometimes, it's Azriel waiting in the parking lot instead, leaning against his motorcycle, two helmets next to him

it does not help with the way your heart seems to speed up whenever you find his amber eyes on you

but you're very adamant on pushing that away

it's probably not that serious anyway.

so

it would be wrong to say your life was boring before you met the three idiots you now call your roomates

but it sure as hell is a lot better now that you have

even if they do drive you a little nuts sometimes

@azrielshadows1nger @waytoomanyteenagefeels

[exhaslo]

Over-Time Ch12

(CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4,Ch5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9, Ch10, Ch11

Warning: MINORS DNI, sexual thoughts, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing, fluff, touch starved

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"I'd like to first of all, thank everyone for coming to tonight's event. We, at Alchemax, could have never gotten this far without all of your ongoing support."

Miguel was just as charming as he spoke to the crowd before him. You couldn't help but adore him from your corner, silently cheering him on. You could never give a speech like Miguel could. You would freeze up in place.

As Miguel keep speaking, you glanced over at the crowd. Some were staring at you, probably wondering who you were. Lowering your head, you tried to ignore those looks. Miguel had mentioned that people were going to expect Lyla.

They probably thought of you as a stranger.

"Now, we shall start with some awards. (Y/N), if you would?" Miguel motioned towards you.

Unable to hide your creeping blush, you stumbled towards him. How embarrassing. Miguel just smiled as you handed him the tablet, his hand resting on your lower back.

How could Miguel act so normal? As if he didn't just make a complete moaning mess of you a few minutes ago?

As if he didn't just tell you that he was going to fuck you senseless right after this event? Just the thought of Miguel pinning you against the bed, thrusting his dick into you started to get you wet again. Oh how his fingers felt as they stirred you up inside.

"Mhm,"

The sound of clapping snapped you back to reality, causing your face to burn up. Now was NOT the time to be thinking about such dirty, yet delicious, thoughts. This was a professional setting and you needed to behave!

Miguel was starting to give out awards to some of his associates. Taking the awards from Miguel, you smiled as you held them while the named associates came on the stage to shake hands with Miguel. Your palms were getting sweaty.

How could you act normal after what happened? Standing next to this God of a man, whom had such a strong desire for you.

"And the next award-"

Handing the first award, you gulped as the person stared at you. Playing with your fingers, you started to feel the pressure again as you took the next award.

Trying to distract yourself, you looked back into the crowd. As you did, you noticed the woman from earlier in the bathroom. She was making direct eye contact with you. Actually, it almost felt like she was glaring at you.

"(Y/N)?" Miguel whispered towards you.

"S-Sorry!" You stuttered as you handed out the next award.

This was embarrassing.

"Seems like my lovely assistant is getting bored, haha. I must do better, but we can all agree she is more subtle than our dear Lyla." Miguel chuckled.

The crowd laughed as Miguel smiled towards you. He was trying to make this as comfortable as possible. You owed him for sure.

---------

Miguel had you pressed against the wall as he ravished your mouth. His hands holding your ass up as he grinded against you. After his speech, Miguel spent no time wanting another taste of you. It made your heart flutter and your cunt wet.

"(Y/N), you make me crazy. What were you thinking about up there?" Miguel asked as he kissed your neck.

"Y-You know what," You stuttered, gasping softly as you held onto his shoulders, "M-Miguel...w-we shouldn't-"

"I know. I just need this," He groaned lowly before setting you down, "I'll behave. I'll enjoy my feast after this."

You shuddered at the thought before following Miguel out of the room. Once you did, the two of you were met with that woman from earlier.

"Tch," Miguel's face turned sour.

"Miguel! What a wonderful speech!" Dana smiled, "So many people couldn't help but congratulate us. Now, I don't believe we have properly introduced each other. I'm-"

"Dana. Leave." Miguel spat as he stood in front of you, "You don't need to keep this petty shit up."

"Ha, Miggy, you're cruel side is showing. You know that I don't mind, but the little mouse behind you might not."

"Miguel?" You whispered, confused.

"(Y/N), was it? Hello, I'm Dana, Miguel's fiance-"

"Ex" Miguel spat.

"Just a hiccup in our relationship."

"There is no relationship." Miguel hissed and grabbed your hand, "If you know what's best, Dana, you would leave."

You felt the air grow tense between the two. This was the first time you have ever seen Miguel so angry, so scary. He grabbed your hand as gently as before and dragged you away.

Dana's smile felt cruel as she glared towards you. Following Miguel out of the hallway, you went to reach for him. Miguel flinched at first before sighing heavily. His hand went to stroke your cheek, his smile looking pained,

"Sorry, mi amor (my love). That woman just...brings out an ugly side of me." Miguel sighed heavily, "Would you like me to take you home?"

"But don't you still have more-"

"Don't worry about my work. I want to make sure that you're okay."

Your heart started to flutter again. Grabbing Miguel's hand, you couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, Miguel. Um...If it...really is okay, I'd like to go home."

"Of course,"

Miguel kissed your hand before taking you by the waist. He held you close as he brought you outside. Even with all that anger, he was still such a gentlemen.

Although, judging by his attitude, Miguel might not be in the mood to continue where the two of you left off. That, and you were a little concerned about this 'Dana' woman. She was his Miguel's ex-fiance, so what happened?

Why did Miguel let go of such a beautiful woman?

And if something where to happen between the two of you, would he be as cruel? Just the thought hurt your heart.

"(Y/N), I can see you getting tense," Miguel whispered as he opened the car door for you, "Please, don't fret too much about Dana. I will tell you about her...when I'm ready," Miguel said with a soft sigh.

"Okay,"

"Just know, that she is a vile woman." Miguel shut the door, pulling you onto his lap, "Don't let her put things in your head. I don't want her tainting you."

"Hehe," You chuckled softly, wrapping your arms around his neck, "I trust you."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

Miguel pecked your lips, his hands roaming your waist.

His touch easing your worries.

His warmth comforting you.

"Miguel..." You whispered as his kisses grew more intense, "Want to stay over?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

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Going on a small Birthday Hiatus!! See you all beginning of September!!!

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[matchadobo]

I absolutely love how you write kidd sm!!! Can i request a scenario where kid and killer are cuddling with us? Appreciate it ^_^

KIDD & KILLER; cuddles

wc: 1453

warning/s: very sfw <3, gn reader

it happened one evening when it was awfully cold. the victoria had no choice to be docked by a wintry island given the exhaustion of supplies. you couldn't sleep because of the weather and the warmth of your skimpy blanket and sheer sheets were not enough to keep you warm.

the clock had already struck midnight and you felt restless. so you pulled yourself up from your bunk and dawdled at the kitchen, shivering. you intend to make yourself something hot, maybe reheat some soup or make tea.

stirring up some leftover soup from dinner on the stove, the heat of the forming smoke soothed you. you felt a rush of weariness in your system at the contact of warmth; you really are sleepy, it's just too cold. so it led to you almost falling asleep standing. if it weren't for kidd turning off the stove as his arm snaked beside you.

"is it that cold you'd wanna burn yourself?" kidd cleared his throat, reaching for a bowl from the cupboard above your head and placing it by the counter beside the stove. "it's done. if you plan on not burning the damn soup that is."

"sorry. why are you still awake?" you rubbed your eyes, pouring the soup on the bowl.

"could ask ya the same thing," he replied. kidd was garbed with his thick fur coat blanketing his huge frame. "smelled somethin' good 's why."

"i'm... it's too cold. i assumed this'll warm me up." you carried your bowl and sat by the chair surrounding the dining table. kidd was heating up a drink, probably some milk.

you started sipping on the soup before kidd stood beside the seat across from you, chugging on some milk. "that ain't enough to keep you warm."

"either i sleep somewhere warmer or eat something warm to keep myself from freezing to death. got no choice here, captain." you shrugged as you continue to fill your system with the warm soup.

"that ain't gonna cut it. don't want my crew members gettin' sick or some shit." he placed his empty glass down and leaned forward.

"what do you suggest me do then?" you answered a bit harshly this time, the weariness was driving you crazy and irritated.

"sleep with me. got a fireplace." he eyed you intently, his gaze inviting you into something that drove you even crazier than the momentary slips of his coat where his chiseled torso peaks.

"w-what?"

"you heard me. unless you wanna freeze your ass up, be my guest." he picked up his glass and placed it in the sink. "no time gettin' shy now. hurry up before i change my mind."

as the only shot of getting a shred of comfort, you took upon his offer after finishing your soup.

it isn't your first time being in his quarters, he invites you here all the time. to drink or do whatever you two do.

it smelled like the same metallic cologne he always wear, it was his usual dimly lit room painted in his favorites of red and black, his sizable bed was placed by the center of his room where his gargantuan frame would be perfect for, and the already lit fireplace that settled by the corner of his room.

you hummed a moan of relief upon entering, it already feels warm and its scent was comforting. the crackling of the fire can be heard even from the doorway. you sat before the fireplace, on his soft, raven bear rug. you hugged your knees and rubbed your hands haphazardly. shivering from the cold outside.

"the hell are you doing down there? bed's got a lotta space. " kidd shimmied from the middle to the side of the bed to make space for you. his fur coat was finally off and his body was full on display.

you looked behind you with cautious eyes. "if you try anything, eustass. i swear to god." you picked yourself up from the floor and dusted off your bottom.

"hey, i ain't the one needin' the damn fire." he raised his hands in surrender. "let's just wait and see who'll snuggle up for warmth as the night gets colder." his voice was coated with a cocky tone as your bodies finally touch.

he was really warm. aside from the fire in his room, his body temperature due to his large size was significantly higher than yours. he was the perfect, huggable body warmer.

little by little, your arms linked and your legs intertwined. it didn't take long for you to get tangled on his limbs and approach slumber.

until the door cracked ajar to reveal killer, who was embarrassed to have walked in. he raised his hands in defense and cleared his throat.

"sorry, didn't mean to barge in you two. just checking on you, kidd." killer started, trying to maintain a professional front even in your sleepy state. "it's awfully cold so... but it seems you're holding up well."

"what took ya so long, kil? been waitin' since an hour ago." kidd let go of you gently to face his best friend and to be able to talk clearly with him, a little to gentle for a pirate such as himself. you weren't used to it, not that you didn't like it.

"got ready for bed. dry off my hair and such." you could hear the chuckle behind the muffle of his helmet despite your back facing him. "y'all got room for one more or am i interrupting?"

"don't think shortcake over here has protests. matter of fact, they could use another source of warmth. poor thing's been shiverin', ain't ya?" his voice was soft against your skin, breath warm on your arm. kidd's loose arm held onto you closer but not firm enough to jolt you awake. he looked over his shoulder ar your sleepy state, admiring how peaceful you look as you drift off to sleep.

the door shut behind killer and he shortly crawled into kidd's bed. surprisingly enough, it fit these two big guys and even you in it just fine. there's even more space left.

as they cocooned you in between, snores started emanating from your slightly ajar lips. it wasn't long until you were deep in sleep and they started becoming drowsy too.

maybe it was the smell of your hair or the sight of your face. or the needy grip on their strong arms as you refuse to let go of them even in your sleep that helped them rest in this cold night. their guard was completely down and they relish on the warmth of one another.

shortly after, morning came.

"guys...! kil...! kidd...! i need to pee." you tried wiggling out of their strong grip, but their echoing snores were proof enough that they won't budge.

but killer was the first one to wake up and hear your protests. he moved over and even helped you escape kidd's grip who was still deep in sleep.

killer waited for you by sitting at the edge of the bed so you can crawl back without any struggle. he had his eyes shut and his luscious, blond hair disheveled. a clear sign of his sound slumber yet he still managed to sit up and wait for you so you won't have a hard time.

"thanks, kil. would've peed myself on the bed if it weren't for you." you laughed a little, nudging the blond. he waved his hand a bit and smiled at you as a response, although his eyes were half-lidded so you decided to hurry up and crawl back to where you were so you two could go back to sleep. it's still pretty early.

kidd was now in a starfish position, you ought to lay on his arm and snuggle close to him to make space for killer who later had a firm embrace on you.

"did you sleep well?" killer broke out, his low, hoarse voice tickling your ear.

you nodded and smiled, "i hope i wasn't much of a bother here."

"ah don't say that. it's not everyday you get to have cuddles like this." killer responded with a chuckle, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin.

"yeah, maybe we can change that. let's make it an everyday thing, hm?" you looked over to see killer's expression and giggled at how he blushed and hid his face under his hair.

and a comfortable silence blanketed the air of kidd's quarters. but for now, the three of you slept soundly in the four corners of this dimly lit room. the fire was already long dead, but the embers of the unsaid longings still remain strong amidst the warmth of your arms.

part 2 🔞 is fem reader coded (still welcome for whoever wants to read 🥰)

hello anon!! 🌷thanks for the kid & killer request i'm starting to enjoy writing for poly now whahahaha hope i did your request justice!

that was a long ass absence again huh ASJDAHDHDASJ very sorry a lot happened,a lot of personal stuff just came crashing in (ahem graduation ahem college next) and just when you thought it could get any worse i got fucking sick!! ain't that fun! but i'm recovering now and i hope it doesn't get worse

[wolverineluvr]

Logan Howlett x reader drabble

CW: self-harm mentions, angst/kinda comfort(?), kinda cringe, ooc Logan!!

You know how stupid it is. How stupid you are. Relapsing over nothing. At least you went deep. But you could've gone deeper. It's never deep enough. You resent yourself for it, but all you can think about is how Logan would've gone deeper. If he did what you did.

You're an idiot. Would he even care? It's nothing serious. Yeah you could get stitches for it but you don't want them. You don't need them. You never have. You want it to scar. You hate your scars, they make you disgusting, but at the same time they're the only things that make you feel valid. But at the same time, no they don't.

It's a never ending cycle with you, isn't it? You need constant reassurance and love otherwise you cut yourself. You're not a child. Why do you act like one?

You know you shouldn't lie to Logan, but it's not like you're lying. You're just not telling him something. He's already asleep anyways. Sometimes, when he has nightmares, you hope he accidentally kills you. You don't, you don't want him to go through that. But you do. You want to die by his hands. The ones you love. It's the middle of the night. Why are you thinking about this? It's embarrassing. You're disgusting.

You're crying. It's stupid, but you can't help it. You should leave. You should disappear. You're wasting time, space, air, food, resources. You're just a waste.

You feel Logan start to stir, and you try to stop. Why would you cry? You only woke him up. You're horrible. Does he even love you? Why would you doubt him? You're horrible for that. But he deserves better than you. Someone prettier. Someone that isn't you.

"What's wrong with you?" Logan murmurs, he meant for it to come out differently but he decides it's good enough as he moves to put his arm around you.

"I'm sorry." You shakily breathe out, you feel so embarrassed. This isn't the first time you've woken him up by your crying. It won't be the last.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Logan states. "What's wrong?" He asks again.

"I don't know.." You choke out, your eyes closed. You can't bring yourself to look at him. He's probably only doing this out of pity or obligation. Something. You don't believe someone could love you. Definitely not someone like him.

"..Okay," He just lays there, his thumb rubbing against your stomach. You could talk about it, if you wanted. If you don't, then you don't.

A/N: this is stupid buttt I've been feeling like shit lately so why not (this is very self indulgent idc)

[starryeyedjanai]

bet.

steddie | 2.8k

read on ao3

Happy Birthday @wynnyfryd 🥰🥰🥰 I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a while now and seeing it was your birthday prompted me to finish it 💕

---

It's his first time in Indianapolis as an out bisexual, so of course Robin takes him to a gay club - to experience the drag queens and to see other queer people having fun, she says.

It's a little overwhelming, the bright lights and the music and the people. But he's having a great time, people watching and drinking virgin daiquiris and talking with Robin.

She's been here before - she came with Vickie when they were still together one weekend and they had a blast. So when Steve figured his sexuality shit out and came out to her, this was the first place she wanted to take him.

Now, he can see why. It's a haven of sorts. Gay men dancing together and kissing each other, gay women getting cozy in the booths, drag queen and drag kings about. He hasn't felt like he's belonged somewhere in a long time, but it kind of feels like he belongs here. The atmosphere is welcoming and kind.

They dance a little before everything gets overwhelming and then they find an empty booth to sit down and sip at their drinks in.

Robin keeps trying to encourage him to find someone to kiss so that they can call this night a success, but he keeps telling her that no one has caught his eye. And it's kind of true. He's seen some men that he thinks might be his type, but they're all paired up with men who look nothing like Steve. Even then, the few people that have caught his eye weren't right, somehow.

He keeps holding out, hoping to find someone that makes his heart skip a beat, or whatever the appropriate cliche for a gay club is.

And it. It happens.

He glances over at the bar as he's taking the last few sips of his drink, thinking about if he wants to brave the crowd at the bar, when he sees him.

His heart doesn't skip a beat, but he knows as soon as he lays eyes on him that he wants him. He's beautiful - and intimidating.

He's sitting facing away from the bar with his legs splayed open, ripped jeans revealing what looks like fishnet stockings underneath them. He's wearing a tank top that's showing off his many tattoos and Steve is struck with the urge to know what they taste like. His combat boots are clunky and could seriously kick someone's ass if they messed with him. His wavy hair is half tied up, a messy ponytail holding his hair out of his face, but the bottom half is freely falling past his shoulders.

He kind of feels like he's been bit by the love bug - he can't take his eyes off him.

He knows Robin is saying something to him, but he can't even hear it. It's all just background noise. He doesn't think he's ever been so captivated by someone before. He wants to put his mouth on him.

"Steve? Oh my god, stop ignoring me!" Robin says and snaps her fingers in front of his face, pulling him from his reverie. He looks over at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, Robbie," he says, looking back over at the guy briefly and yep, he's still just as hot as the first time he looked.

"What was that? Did you see someone you like? You looked like you blacked out for a minute there," she says, a smirk pulling at her lips.

He rolls his eyes. Of course she already knows - his type is people that look like they could stomp on him and he'd say thanks. "Black tank top, ripped jeans, at the bar. I think I'm in love," he says with a sigh. He's way too intimidated to go over there.

She squeals in his ear and says, "This is so exciting! You have to go kiss him now."

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not just gonna go up to a stranger and ask if he'll be my first gay kiss."

"And why not?" she asks, stirring her drink.

"Because that's insane," he says. "He's probably already got someone. He's, he's gorgeous. There's no way he's here alone." It's a shame, but it's probably true - he's way too good looking to be here alone.

"There's only one way to find out," Robin says. She leans forward and whispers in his ear, a challenge of sorts.

"You can't be serious," he says to her, questioning his own sanity for even entertaining her for one second.

She leans back in and whispers more into his ear and he groans.

"You're diabolical," he tells her, pulling back to smack a kiss on her forehead. He stands up and takes a deep breath before marching over to the bar. He can't believe he's doing this.

He marches right up to the guy and immediately every word in his vocabulary is gone. He's so fucking pretty.

"Um. Uh, hi," he says, stupidly.

The guy bites his lip and grins at him. He says, "Hi," back to him and Steve is literally going to die, he thinks. He couldn't see it from across the club before, but this guy has a lip piercing, and Steve wants to know what it feels like against his mouth so fucking bad.

"I need you to kiss me," he blurts out, trying not to cringe.

"You need me to, to kiss you?" the guy asks, and this was a bad idea, the worst idea Robin's ever had. There's no way he's going to agree to this.

"So, my friend-" he stops, looking back at Robin - she waves at them. He's trying so hard not to blush as he turns back to the guy and says, "She bet me that I couldn't get a guy to kiss me since it's my first time here. So I was wondering if you would kiss me, so I can win the bet." He's steeling himself for rejection, for this guy to tell him to fuck off or maybe have mercy and let him down gently by telling him he's taken.

But he just smiles, tilting his head at Steve. "Why me?"

"Hmm?" Steve asks.

"Why me?" the guy asks again. "Out of all the guys here, you picked me. Why?"

Steve sputters for a second. "You, I mean. You have to know how you look, right? Like, you're gorgeous."

He grins again, tonguing at his lip ring and Steve is so down bad for him, it's actually insane. "Okay," he says. "I'll accept that answer. Now, if you get your kiss, you win your bet, but what's in it for me?"

Steve is hoping that if he's still talking to him, that means he actually has a shot. He's feeling dizzy with how much he wants to kiss him. He really fucking hopes he can kiss him.

He says, "A kiss?" with what he hopes is a charming - and not at all maniacal - grin.

The guy snorts. Rude. He snorts at Steve and says, "I think I'll need a little more that that, don't you think, sweetheart?"

Steve nods dumbly, says, "I'll split my winnings with you. Would that work?"

He's not expecting it to work, is the thing. He doesn't expect him to say yes.

Which is why he's so surprised when he reaches out and tugs Steve closer by the collar of his shirt. He did not know being yanked around was his thing, but apparently it is because good god.

"That works for me," the guy says, eyes going molten as he looks at Steve.

He can't believe that worked. Holy shit.

He's. He's nervous, he realizes. He's had a lot of first kisses, been on many first dates that ended in him kissing someone unfamiliar. But this is nerve-wracking for him in a way it hasn't been before.

He lets the guy pull him in further by his collar, lets him control when the kiss happens.

The first press of their lips has Steve sighing and opening his mouth slightly, wanting more, wanting to taste him. He kisses him, lets himself be kissed really. He opens his mouth more when a tongue snakes out and presses into his mouth.

Steve's hands come up to pull him closer, to pull - fuck, he doesn't even know his name, yet. He's doing this all wrong. He meant to get his name before shoving his tongue down his throat.

But it's good, the feeling of soft lips pressed against his, the cold metal of his piercing pressing against his mouth, his tongue stroking over Steve's in a way that makes him wish they were alone, wish they weren't here surrounding by all these people. He wants to kiss him and keep kissing him until the breath runs out of his lungs. He wants to put his hands on him, to dip his fingers into the rips in his jeans and feel the rough fishnets against his fingertips.

He pulls his mouth away to gasp out, "What's your name?" because he needs to know, needs to have some connection, some thread to hold onto, to grasp as they're kissing.

"Eddie," he whispers against Steve's mouth. "What's yours?" Eddie asks. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

"Steve," he says before pressing his mouth against Eddie's again. He wants to kiss him forever. He never wants to stop. He wants Eddie to keep licking into his mouth like he owns it until the bartender yells out that it's last call. He wants Eddie to keep holding him like this until Robin drags him away as they turn the lights on in the club to kick everyone out. He wants, he wants, he wants.

He gets a hand tangled in Eddie's hair and gets their heads tilted right so that they can lick deeper into each other's mouths. It's burning him up inside, the way their tongues are sliding together, the way Eddie's licking behind his teeth and sucking on his tongue like he's trying to taste the daiquiri he was drinking earlier.

Eddie tastes like tobacco and something sweet, like he was drinking something sweet before Steve came up to him too. God, Steve wants to know everything about him - what's his go-to drink order, does he smoke, does he prefer beer over mixed drinks, is he seeing anyone, please don't be seeing anyone, god.

He feels desperate, he feels out of control. He wants Eddie to take him apart like he's never wanted anything else in his life. He wants those hands on him, wants to feel the rings on his fingers pressing marks into his skin. He want his hands gripping his hips, sliding down and touching him. He doesn't think he's ever wanted like this.

The only reason they break apart is because someone's elbow ends up in Steve's back and he ends up pushed further into the crease of Eddie's thigh. He feels him hard against him and he knows Eddie can feel how hard he is too. Fuck, it's like everything else faded away when Eddie's mouth was on his, but now that they're not kissing, he's suddenly achingly aware that he's hard in his incredibly tight pants after making out with Eddie for god knows how long.

His face is probably red and sweaty, but Eddie's still looking at him like he wants him and god, does he want him back.

But he pulls back a little, puts some space between their hips because he quite literally can't ditch Robin here go hook up with Eddie, no matter how much he wants to.

He bites his lip and pulls his hand back, the one that was tangled in Eddie's long hair. He puts it on Eddie's chest and asks, "Was that okay?" because he thinks he knows the answer, but it never hurts to hear it.

Eddie huffs out a laugh and says, "Was that okay, he asks. Sweetheart, I think you and I both know that was something on a completely different realm from just okay."

If Steve wasn't blushing before, he definitely is now. He says, "Good, good. I'm glad we're on the same page."

Eddie leans close like he's going to kiss him again. He brushes his lips against Steve's in a dry press - barely a kiss, but it has Steve aching all the same anyway. He drags his mouth along his jaw, just mouthing at it, and it's the hottest thing Steve's ever felt.

He whispers in Steve's ear, "Your friend is trying really hard to get your attention right now," and that pulls Steve right back down to earth.

He pulls away again and turns around to see Robin waving her arms at him. He puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at her. She waves her hand at him, beckoning him back to their table so he holds up a finger to tell her to hold the fuck on.

He turns back around and says, "I think I'm being summoned. As much as I want to stay and as much as I, like, desperately want to keep kissing you, I should get back to my friend."

Eddie crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the bar and Steve can't help the way his eyes sweep over him again. Eddie's smirking when he looks back up at him.

"That's fair," Eddie says. "So, what did we win?"

Steve makes a questioning sound, before he remembers what Eddie's talking about. He sheepishly brings a hand up to swipe his hair out of his face where its begun to stick to his forehead. "Oh, uh, about that. There never really was a bet."

"Really?" Eddie asks, leaning forward again into Steve space, like that's the most interesting thing he's heard all night.

Steve shakes his head. "I promised half of the winnings, but the winnings are zero, so half of zero is still zero, you know?"

Eddie grins at him and says, "You're kind of devious, you know that? Here I was, thinking I'd get a prize at the end of that kiss."

"Sorry for getting your hopes up, but I mean, it was a good kiss, right?" Steve asks, boldly leaning forward to press his mouth against Eddie's again. Eddie lets him, lets Steve kiss him, softer than before. Before it was all new and exciting and hot, and it still is, but this kiss is tender, pulling a gasp from Steve's lips when they separate.

"It was a good kiss," Eddie agrees, pecking him on the lips again, soft and sweet.

"Can I have your number?" Steve asks, trying to be brave for once. He got Eddie to kiss him, even if it was under less than truthful circumstances, but he hopes it was good enough to warrant a call back.

"Your friend, is she seeing anyone?" Eddie asks, and Steve's head is kind of spinning at the redirection there.

"She and her girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. Why?" he asks, wondering where this is going. If this guy is actually somehow straight and only kissed him to get with Robin, Steve's gonna lose it.

"I'll tell you what, if you can convince your friend to kiss my friend, you can have my number," Eddie says, gesturing to the girl that's been sitting next to him at the bar this entire time.

And- oh. Oh god, he's embarrassed.

Has she just been awkwardly sitting there while Eddie made out with him? He was half a second away from dry humping Eddie and his friend was sitting there patiently waiting for them to stop. That's embarrassing.

She's cute - she's got this whole cheery, bubblegum vibe to her that didn't make Steve glance twice at her once he had his eyes set on Eddie because the two of them are kind of polar opposites. He didn't think they were here together.

His eyes shift back and forth between them and she waggles her fingers at him in a wave, smirking at his caught out look.

"Chrissy," she says, sticking out her hand to shake Steve's. He's kind of intimidated by her too, but he's got to hand it to her - he doesn't think even Robin would sit through him making out with someone right next to her. He guesses he does kind of owe it to both her and Robin. He and Eddie were making out for a while.

"Steve," he says, lamely. "Sorry for making out with your friend right next to you. Um, I'm gonna go grab Robin now."

They both watch him as he leaves, which makes his skin prickle and his heartbeat speed up. He makes a beeline back to Robin and lets her coo at him for a minute about having his first gay kiss.

She's talking a mile a minute asking about how it was, if he got his number, when Steve interrupts her.

"Bobbin, you are not gonna believe this," he says, and when he's got her attention, he continues, "I think I just found you a girlfriend?"

[algea]

Ghoul School

prompt: you, Lucky, Phoebe, Trevor, and Lars go to investigate a spirit infested school, but ends badly for you.

Ummm basically enemies to lovers?? idrk tbh LOL

warnings: idk scary stuff? cussing! sexual tension! um you smoke 1 cigarette and thats it. GORE!!!!!!!

a/n: I’ve been thinking of this since I saw the movie…

*THIS IS A SUPER LONG STORY!!!*

“A school? Are you serious, Lars?” You mutter, running a hand down your face and sighing.

“I wish. What’s your grudge against a school anyway?” Lars said, cocking an eyebrow at you as he turned to look at you.

“Well I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that kids still go there. It makes me sick how they have to experience that while being in an environment where it’s supposed to be safe and welcoming.” You explain, tapping your fingers nervously on your desk. Behind you, Lars sighed,

“Well that’s why we’re going innit? So stop worrying about it so much.” You snapped your head when heard the door open. In trudged a slime covered Trevor, Lucky, and Phoebe.

“Lars, I need your help with something!” Lucky called. Lars stood and strode to her, his eyes lingered on you for a little longer than they should’ve. Trevor had a proton pack on his back, which was slightly smoking from the interior.

"Piece of shit only fizzed when we tried to turn it on, know a way to fix it?" Trevor asked, gazing up at Lars. Lars' face was stone cold, probably because he had to deal with the dumb shit Trevor stirred up.

"First off, it's not a piece of shit. Second off, did you even try to figure it out?" Lars scoffed, eyebrows drawn together in a scowl.

"Give it to me, I'll see what I can do." He sighed, obviously not wanting to deal with him anymore. Trevor basically shoved the proton pack into Lars’ arms, which didn't waiver when he received it. Hot. You thought. Lars trudged to his station and set the proton pack down. He removed the protective covering, and coughed when smoke blasted in his face. You snickered, which earned an unimpressed glare from him. Lucky appeared beside you, ready to talk about what else you've come up with her to test.

"What is it?" She asked, tinkering with the item on the desk.

"You know how there's buckshot for a shotgun? I've figured out how to compress protons into little pellets and create a buckshot-type stream." You explained, showing her how it would work on a sheet of paper. You heard Lars muttering about something, though you brushed it off. You handed Lucky a few pellets, which contained about 12 rounds of buckshot each. She eagerly shot off into the test room, excited to try it out. With nothing else to do, you shuffled behind Lars, peering over his shoulder to watch his hands work efficiently. Lars really didn't know you were there, truly he didn't. So when he turned around to go get something from his desk, he jumped back.

"Good Christ you scared the shit out of me!" Lars exclaimed, putting a hand on his chest and letting out a big sigh. He shoved his glasses back up his face and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry! I just wanted to watch you work..." You trailed off, staring at the ground in embarrassment.

"Well maybe next time maybe fucking keep to yourself." He snapped, brushing past you, his hand grazing yours. You just stood there, hands clenched and cheeks burning in embarrassment. Phoebe stood next to you, putting a hand on your arm and whispering,

"It's ok, really, he doesn't mean it."

You couldn't help the tear that slithered down your cheek. Blinking away the rest of the tears, you muttered an 'excuse me' and walked outside of the lab. Taking a left, you headed through the doors to the cool breeze outside. Stuffing your hand in you pocket, your hand found purchase on the cig case you had. Sliding one out of it and grabbing your lighter, you lit the cig up and shoved the lighter back into your left pocket. You sat against the wall and pulled your knees to your chest. Hearing the doors open, you see Trevor walk out. He spots you and slides down the wall, sitting next to you.

"It's not your fault. It really isn't." Trevor offered, watching you let out a sigh, smoke going with it. You laugh, dragging a hand down your face.

"Listen, don't ever fall in love, man. Shit sucks." You sighed, resting your head against the cool brick. Trevor started to say something but the rest of the three burst through the doors. Lars was wearing his red jacket, walking towards the car. Lucky was carrying yours in her arm, right on the heels of Lars. He spotted you and Trevor sitting down against the wall. Trevor hopped up, offering you a kind hand. You took it, cigarette still in hand.

"Put that shit out." Lars commanded, crossing his arms. You glared at him before taking a long drag and blowing the smoke out. You dropped the rest on the ground, twisting your foot against it which successfully put it out.

"Happy?" You huffed, throwing your arms out in surrender. He just stared at you before pushing past you to get to the car. 'Bitch' You mutter under your breath. God he’s insufferable. Following them, you hopped into the passage seat. Lucky handed you your red jacket, which you put on before you buckled up. You zipped it up all the way burying your face in the collar. Lars watched you from his peripheral, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

“Are gonna stare or drive the goddamn car?” You snapped, turning to gaze at him. His hand tightened on the wheel and started to drive.

To say that Lars was a good driver was a pretty big overstatement. You were even lucky you made it to the school alive, much less in once piece.

“You are never ever driving again, Lars.” You said, stumbling out of the car as a wave of nausea hits you.

“Stuff it.” He replied, pushing up his broken glasses. You turned your gaze to the school, which stood ominously in the distance. You shivered, which didn’t go unnoticed by Lars. He took a small step closer to you, his hand ghosting the small of your back. You jumped slightly at his feather touch, but relished it. Lars flicked on your switch, making your proton pack hum with the familiar ‘whirring’ sound. You walked to the front steps, pushing open the two massive double wooden doors. You were blasted by a cold air, which you stumbled back from.

“S-shit.” You muttered, hands shaking ever so slightly. You reached for your flashlight, but froze when you saw a shadow figure dart through the darkness.

“Lars.” You whispered, a lump forming in your throat. Lars was off busy helping the others get their packs on, which meant you were the only one at the front. You felt something tugging you forward. You stumbled back into the school following the tugging sensation to a room downstairs.

Lars looked up, about to ask you something, when he noticed you were gone.

“Where the bloody hell did Y/N go?” He asked, looking around. His question was answered when he heard your frantic screams coming from inside of the building. They all looked at each other, then bolted to the building.

The building was absolutely freezing. That you were certain of. The frigid temperature fucked a little with your head, at least that’s what you can conclude. You found that being able to see in the dark was not your forte, which caused you to fall down a flight of stairs.

“OH FUCKING SHIT—!” You screech, tumbling down the stairs. You landed with your head cracking against the cold floor. Groaning, you tried to lift your head, but you felt like you were spinning like a top. You eventually stood, swaying slightly after. You blinked a few times, holding your head in your hands. In the corner of your eye, you could see another shadow figure. It was tall, tall enough to reach the ceiling. It started to approach you, but you let out a scream, starting to run back up the stairs. You felt a push, then you tumbled back down the stairs, smashing your head into the pavement again. You landed on your knee, successfully snapping the bone in your shin. You let out another bloodcurdling scream, spitting out blood in the process.

You felt lightheaded as blood spilled from your shin and lips, dribbling down your chin and neck. You were in too much pain to cry as you crumpled to the floor again. You heard all three of them yelling your name, but you couldn’t yell back. Instead, you pulled yourself across the floor, leaving a long streak of blood as you went. With as much effort as you could muster, you pulled yourself to the steps. It took everything for you to scream,

“LARS!!!”

Footsteps could be heard, which sounded like heavy boots clomping towards you. You clawed at the steps, trying to grip anything that you could to pull yourself up. The blond man appeared in the doorway, shining a flashlight down the stairwell. Lars hair was tousled, eyes wide. You make out how he was panting, as well as a horrified look painted across his face.

“oh my god.” Was all he said. He rushed down the stairwell to get you. You couldn’t make out much of anything, you kept fading in and out of consciousness. His hands, his strong and elegant hands held your face as he tried to keep you awake. Your breaths became labored again as you felt extreme pain rippling through your limbs. You let out another scream, which was muffled by Lars chest as he picked you up and started to rush you outside. One of his hands found purchase in your hair, gently stroking it with his thumb as he ran to the car.

Lars felt like it took years to make it to the hospital. His red jacket was drenched in your blood, but he couldn’t care less about what he looked like as he rushed you into the ER. Immediately after, you were rushed into a room, where you would reside for God knows how long. Lars sat next to Lucky, his face grim. He didn’t care how long he had to wait to see you again, just as long as he could see you. Lars stayed there all night, into the morning to be able to see you. When they told him that he could see you, he ran to your room as fast as he could. There you laid, eyes closed, face peaceful. When you heard the footsteps, you opened your eyes and found the blond man standing in your doorway.

“Bloody hell, I thought I’d never see you again.” Lars breathed as he approached your right side. Your hand lay limp on the top of the bedsheet. He brought up a chair and sat, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

“I was so scared that you were going to die, I couldn’t bear to see it.” He further explained. You smiled weakly and croaked,

“Are you being nice right now? That’s so unlike you Lars.”

Before you said anything else, Lars pressed a kiss to your lips. It wasn’t your ideal first kiss with him, but you relished the feeling.

“I didn’t save you because I thought it was the good thing to do, I saved you because I love you.” Lars whispered, his nose brushing yours.

“God I love you too, Lars.” You whispered back.

[punkshort]

look what we've become - ch.5

Chapter Summary: On the road to take Ellie back to her family, you finally figure out what's been holding you back about your future with Joel.

Chapter Warnings: language, smut (18+ MDNI), piv sex, fear of commitment, discussions of pregnancy

WC: 7.1K

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Joel, come on. We spent the better part of a year out there every single day, you know I can handle myself," you said, trying to reason with him.

His pulse thrummed in his throat, anger still bubbling just below the surface as he paced around the kitchen, opening and slamming cupboards mindlessly.

"Do I need to remind you of all the shit that happened in that year?" he replied angrily, still pacing around the kitchen, burning off his nervous energy.

"No," you said softly, and he squeezed his eyes shut, guilt immediately washing over him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, and you shook your head.

"It's fine."

Sighing, his palms roughly rubbed his face. He hated this feeling. He just wanted to keep you safe, but he knew he couldn't control you, either. And for whatever reason, you were hellbent on taking this girl back to her family.

"Please," he said, resorting to begging now. "Please don't go. I got a bad feelin' 'bout this."

"But you're going with me," you said, taking a few steps towards him. He eyed you wearily, but he could feel his resolve breaking. "You can keep me safe."

"Yeah, 'cause I did such a great job the first time," he muttered.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" you countered. He dropped his chin to his chest, and you knew you were wearing him down. Stepping forward to close the gap, you tentatively placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned into his chest. His fingers itched to touch you, but he refrained, his stubbornness winning the fight.

"I'm sorry 'bout what I said," he told you, his lips brushing against the top of your head.

"I told you it was fine."

"I meant what I said at Tommy's," he replied, looking behind you at the wall, avoiding eye contact. "That was low."

You swallowed the lump in your throat and took a step back with a shrug.

"I probably deserved it," you said. "Don't worry about it."

"No, you don't deserve it. Don't say that," he said, furrowing his brow and looking at you now. "I'm just sore about it, still."

"I know," you said quietly. You looked at one another for a moment, each of you unsure how to navigate this rough patch on top of everything else.

"Is there anythin' I can do to talk you outta this?"

"Short of tying me down, no," you said with a smirk.

"Don't gimme any ideas," he said, and although he was trying to sound serious, the corners of his mouth pulled up into a barely perceptible grin.

"Would that make you feel better, baby?" you asked lowly. His eyes fluttered shut and he felt a stirring below his waist at the tone in your voice.

"Don't do that," he warned, but his voice held no conviction.

"Do what?" you asked innocently.

"You're tryin' to distract me."

"Is it working?"

"You know it is."

You hummed and took a step forward. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him down, giving him a soft kiss before leaving a slow trail of kisses along his scruffy jaw.

"This ain't fair," he sighed, closing his eyes and giving in, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer, pressing you against his body.

"I know," you whispered, running the tip of your tongue all the way down his neck until you reached his collarbone. You grazed your teeth along the sensitive skin there, and he shuddered.

"If you know, then why're you doin' it?"

"Because you haven't touched me in weeks, and I need you," you said before sucking a bruise into his skin and leaving out the underlying reason: you needed to feel close to him.

"Fuck, sweetheart, c'mon," he complained weakly, but you knew you already won.

"Okay, I'll stop," you said suddenly, untangling yourself from him and stepping backwards. "I have other things I need to do anyway, like get ready for this trip."

He had you pushed up against the wall in a heartbeat, pulling your knees up so your legs clung to his waist for support, grinding his hips into you with a groan. You gasped when his mouth latched onto your neck, biting and licking aggressively as you clutched his broad shoulders.

"That kid gonna walk in here?" he asked, voice muffled against your neck.

"I locked the door when I came in."

"Good girl," he said, his big hands gripping your ass as he stepped you both away from the wall and walked you towards the living room, his mouth barely leaving your body in the process.

He dropped you both on the couch with a grunt, your legs falling open now that they didn't need to support you. Dragging his face off of your neck, you pulled him up for a deep kiss, his tongue instantly invading your mouth while his hands fumbled with the button on your shorts. You wiggled your body so you could free yourself of your shirt, only breaking contact with Joel for a moment. His hands cupped your breasts and he let out an appreciative groan, rolling your nipple between his fingers, making you whimper into his mouth.

You could tell he needed you just as badly, the desperation was rolling off of him in waves. He only managed to pull down his jeans a few inches, freeing himself from his pants quickly. Tucking his chin down so he could line himself up, he pulled the bottom of his T-shirt up and held it between his teeth, not letting it go until he sunk the tip of his cock into you. His jaw relaxed with a soft moan, T-shirt fluttering back down to cover his stomach and his forehead coming to rest gently on your shoulder as he slowly stretched you open.

"Oh, fuck," you gasped, eyes screwed shut as you focused entirely on that blissful feeling of him first entering you. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," you chanted until he bottomed out with a groan.

"God, I missed that so much," you whined, clutching his shoulders as you adjusted to his size. You felt him sigh with relief on top of you, unmoving, just enjoying the feeling for a few moments. Your fingers relaxed on his shoulders and you raked them gently over his back and up through his hair, your nails scraping over his scalp in the way that made him shiver.

Suddenly, his hands shot up and snagged both your wrists, pinning them down on either side of your head and into the couch cushion. He leaned up, all his weight pressing into your wrists as he looked down at you.

"Didn't you say somethin' about tyin' you down?" he asked with a smirk. Recognition flashed across your eyes and you grinned.

"I did," you said, and you felt him twitch inside you.

"This'll have to do," he told you, rolling his hips into you for the first time. You moaned, your hands instinctively trying to move to grab him, but you could only stretch out your fingers. He tsked at you, rolling his hips more.

"Nuh uh," he teased, feeling your muscles flexing under his grip. "Why d'you insist on drivin' me crazy all the damn time, huh?"

You mumbled something unintelligible as a response, too distracted, the sensation of his thick cock dragging in and out of you commanding your full attention. Each and every inch of him pushing into you, making your head swim and your thighs tense.

"Had so much to say earlier, not so much anymore," he said, snapping his hips into you faster, your breaths coming in sharp gasps. His fingers squeezed around your wrists, watching as your tits bounced with every harsh thrust.

"Maybe next time they're lookin' for volunteers, I'll just fuck you to keep your mouth shut," he said with a grunt as he felt you clench around him, his hips stuttering for a second before he picked his pace back up.

"Joel," you whined. Your biceps ached from straining against his grip, not realizing how much you enjoyed touching him until you couldn't do it, and now it was all you wanted.

"Oh, shit," he gasped, his orgasm sneaking up on him faster than he expected. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus. He opened his eyes again just to find yours were screwed tight, head tipped to the side, and lower lip trapped between your teeth.

"Look at me," he commanded, but you ignored him. Eyes closed, head still tilted away. "Look at me and tell me what you need," he said more firmly now. Urgently. Your eyes snapped open and you gazed up at him.

"Touch me," you whispered, and he instantly brought both your arms above your head, crossing your wrists so he could hold them down with one hand, freeing the other to slip between your bodies. Your eyes widened and your jaw fell open, drawing a loud moan from your throat the moment he made contact. You began to rock your hips upwards, meeting him thrust for thrust as his thumb pressed circles into your clit faster.

"C'mon," Joel begged, trying so hard to hold back so you could come first. "C'mon, I need to feel it, come for me."

You lifted your back off the couch, arching as you felt your orgasm swell. His name was stuck in your throat, body rigid for a moment as it washed over you, your fingers digging into his and nearly drawing blood.

"Oh, f-fuck, fuck yes," he groaned, slamming himself into you over and over, fucking you through it until your body relaxed under him. He pulled out quickly, stroking himself before he stilled, watching in a daze as he painted your stomach with his spend.

He released your wrists, panting as he sat back onto the couch and closed his eyes.

"Joel, can you-" you began to ask if he would hand you a tissue, but he cut you off, figuring out your request for himself.

"Yeah, hold on," he said, fixing his pants before standing up with a grunt and grabbing the tissue box, pulling one out and then carefully cleaning you up. You watched him as he stayed focused on his task, then frowned when he paused for a moment as he stared at your torso, lost in thought. You reached a hand out to twist the ends of his hair between your fingers, and that seemed to snap him out of it. Still avoiding your gaze, he finished cleaning you with a sigh, then dropped his head forward between his shoulders.

You thought maybe he was thinking about your conversation about kids since he had made sure to pull out this time, but when his thumb stretched up to graze the scars along your ribs, you realized you were wrong.

"Joel-"

"You could've died," he said, lifting his head to look at the scars you were rewarded years ago for saving his life. You curled his hair around your finger before tucking it behind his ear.

"You could've died, too," you countered.

"I don't care 'bout me, I care 'bout you."

"Well, I don't care about me, I care about you," you shot back. He sighed and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around your naked body and resting the side of his head against your stomach.

"Please stay home," he whispered.

"I... I can't," you told him.

"Why?"

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, wishing so badly that you could tell him Ellie's secret, but you made her a promise.

"Because she's scared, Joel. And she asked me. She was crying, you didn't see her," you explained. "When she found out I wasn't going, she was devestated."

"She was crying?" he asked in disbelief, lifting his head from your stomach to look at you, and you nodded.

He sighed again, defeated, and rubbed his eyes.

"Fine," he said, sounding tired. He reached behind him to find your clothes and handed them back to you, piece by piece, as you dressed yourself.

"It's only a couple of weeks," you assured him, standing up to button your shorts. He straightened and looked down at you.

"Suppose it's best you aren't here, anyway," he acquiesced. "Just in case these people see through our bullshit."

"Right," you said, chewing on your lower lip. "But they don't know where we live."

"No, but I got a feelin' they could find out if they really wanted to," he replied, walking back toward the kitchen and leaving you with yet another concern that would keep you up at night.

It was early in the morning as you and Joel silently made your way through the sleeping town towards the front gate. On your back you carried your pack with your rolled up sleeping bag strapped to the bottom, same as Joel. You felt unusually nervous, most likely due to Joel putting all those ideas in your head that something will go wrong. Or maybe it was because you hardly spent much time outside the walls of Jackson anymore, and you were worried you had become too soft, too accustomed to a domestic life, that you wouldn't remember how to survive in the woods.

"Last chance," Joel muttered beside you. You glanced up at him and gave him a smirk.

"Nice try," you told him.

With the front gate now in view, you could see three figures huddled in the darkness with only the light from the stable to illuminate them. Tommy noticed you coming first, looking up with a nod and causing Ellie to twist around with a wide grin. When she noticed Joel at your side, her smile faltered a bit, but she didn't say anything.

"You all ready to go?" Tommy asked, sleep still clouding his eyes. Joel nodded, glancing once at Ellie before looking away.

"We're gonna have to go on foot, not enough horses left behind for patrol and Eugene's crew," Maria said regrettably. You weren't bothered. You would be quieter on foot, anyway.

You left through the gate and began heading south through the mountains, your gun lying heavy against your back. When you first arrived in Jackson, it felt strange to not be armed all the time, like you were missing something, but now it was the opposite: you felt hyper aware of the handgun in the back of your jeans and the blade strapped to your ankle. Every step, you felt the objects brush against your skin, the metal irritating and reminding you of the danger that potentially lied ahead.

"Thought he said he wouldn't help take me back home," Ellie said quietly so Joel wouldn't overhear, falling in step next to you.

"Changed his mind," you told her, looking up at the back of his head several feet ahead of you. "See? He isn't so bad."

"Yeah, I guess not," she replied. "Still hates me, though."

"He doesn't hate you, Ellie. He's just frustrated with the whole situation," you assured her.

"Did you... tell him?" she asked you very quietly, and you shook your head quickly.

"Absolutely not," you told her, giving her a serious look. She nodded, looking relieved.

"Well, thanks. For not saying anything, and for coming with me. It's not that I don't like Tommy and Maria, it's just..." she trailed off, not sure how exactly to articulate her feelings, but she didn't have to.

"I know," you said with a smile. "You just like me the best."

She laughed and you grinned, knocking your shoulder into her lightly as you walked.

The group of you made it down the mountains with no issues. No infected, no people, not even any animals. You knew it was due to being so isolated, but it still made you feel a little less anxious. You made decent time the first day, surprising since you had thought Ellie would have slowed you down a bit, but the girl was quick on her feet and kept pace with the adults.

It was nearing September and the weather was usually the most comfortable this time of year. It was still warm, but not as sweltering as it had been. If you had to sleep on the forest floor, at least it wasn't the middle of winter.

You rolled out your sleeping bag next to Joel's, and Ellie rolled hers out near the other side of you. Not next to you, but close. Tommy and Joel had managed to snag a couple rabbits with your old bow, which meant you could conserve the dry goods you brought with you.

Taking watch at night wasn't so bad when there were four of you sharing the burden. It meant your shifts were shorter and much more tolerable. When it was your turn, you couldn't help but glance over at Joel while he slept restlessly on top of his sleeping bag. It was all coming back to you now that you were out in the forest like this. The way you and Joel used to make camp, take watch, hunt, scavenge. You could see the change in him almost immediately: his radar going up, constantly on high alert. He had a knack for survival early on. He knew right away you needed shelter, weapons, food, clothes. And he knew the smartest ways to get all those things. You, on the other hand, were a little slower at learning how to live like this, and this time was no exception. But you felt it coming back to you with each passing hour. You wondered if Joel ever had a hard time readjusting to life out in the wilderness, too, or if he never let it go in the first place.

It took Maria three whole days to finally corner you alone on the trail to talk. You were surprised it took her that long.

"He seems like he came around to this whole thing," she began, nodding in Joel's direction. You shrugged.

"I didn't give him much of a choice," you said with a smirk. "He's convinced something's going to happen, you know how he gets. He's... protective," you said, choosing your words carefully.

"Yeah, I can't really blame him, considering what you guys have been through," she said, glancing over at Tommy who was bringing up the rear. "I imagine if half that shit happened to me and Tommy, he would be a little protective too."

You hummed in agreement, watching Ellie dig her walking stick into the ground with each step she took, leaving little divots in the dirt behind her.

"So," Maria began, clearing her throat. "It kind of feels like something might have happened with you two after that little scare."

You sucked in air through your teeth and glanced nervously behind you at Tommy, making sure he couldn't hear you before replying.

"Didn't exactly go well," you admitted.

"I figured, given that comment at our house the other day," she said.

You caved and gave her the bullet points of the argument, not wanting to chance being overheard. You told her your reservations about having kids, and Joel's assumption that you would want them. You chose to leave out most of the hurtful things each of you had said to the other and focused on your concern about your future together and whether or not you would find a fair compromise.

"You don't even want to get married?" she asked, and you sighed.

"I don't know, Maria. I'm scared and I'm not sure why," you said quietly.

"Well, before the outbreak, did you see yourself getting married and having a family?"

You paused, knowing where she was going.

"Yes," you replied slowly.

"So it's not a matter of never wanting to. It must be a fear related to the outbreak, right?" she asked, and again you shrugged.

"I guess."

"Do you trust him?"

"Of course!" you said, almost insulted.

"Okay, okay. I know you love him, and you trust him, so what else is there? What could possibly make you so scared that you don't want to commit yourself to the man who worships the ground you walk on?" She was really pushing, laying it on thick and trying to drag it out of you.

"Because I'm afraid of losing him," you said quickly, the words tumbling out before you even had a chance to think. You stopped in your tracks, Maria doing the same and motioning for Tommy to walk ahead of you while you collected your thoughts. He gave you both a confused look as he wandered past, but he kept moving. Maria urged you to keep walking so it wouldn't draw the group's attention.

"What do you mean?" she prompted.

"This world we live in now, Maria," you began, focusing your eyes on the ground so you didn't have to look at her. "I'm terrified. Every time he leaves Jackson, I'm terrified he won't come back. Ever since that accident in the barn last year-" you stopped talking. You could feel your throat squeezing shut, remembering how awful it was for those three days when he didn't wake up, anticipating the worst.

"I know," she said, rubbing your arm as she walked next to you. She was there at the infirmary with you that night he was brought in, she remembered what you went through.

"We're so lucky to have found Jackson," you said after taking a deep breath. "But it doesn't mean bad things still can't happen. And I think if we were to get married, if we had that one perfect day filling my memory and Tommy or Jesse or Eugene come back home without him, I would never survive it. And how would I explain that to a child? I'm not strong enough for that."

Tears were streaming steadily down your cheeks now. You did your best to wipe them away with your hand but they were coming too fast. Maria pulled her pack around to her front so she could find a clean rag and handed it to you.

"I think-"

"And then what?" you continued, on a roll now and cutting her off. "I would have this ring on my finger, this constant reminder every single day of what I lost. Because you know I could never take it off. I could never move on. It would just be there, weighing me down every single day until I'm dead!"

You hadn't realized your voice was rising until Tommy turned his head to look at you curiously. You took a shaky breath in and angled your face to the ground so he wouldn't see your tears.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry," you whispered, looking back up at Maria. "You just got engaged and here I am telling you all this horrible shit."

"Actually, everything you just said makes me feel the exact opposite," she said with a grin. You frowned, waiting for her to continue.

"If Tommy weren't to come home one day, I would feel like my world ended, of course. But you know what else?"

You shook your head, your tears finally slowing.

"After all that pain washed away, I would still have that one perfect day filling my memory, just like you said. I would hopefully have kids that I could look at and see a piece of him. Every day. I would have those memories, those moments with me forever. And if I have that, he would never be really gone, you know?"

Her eyes glistened as she spoke, but she was smiling. You blinked at her, rolling her words around in your head, unsure what to do with them.

"Just think about it," she said to you. "Do whatever makes you happy, but don't let fear hold you back. That's no way to live."

You nodded and turned to look back at the rest of the group traipsing through the forest, your eyes landing on Joel last, who was leading you all through the trees. Always so strong, unwavering, and sure of himself. He was a survivor. So what made you doubt him now?

"Just take what we absolutely need, and be quick," Joel told the everyone firmly. You were standing outside a run down gas station somewhere in the middle of Utah, a little more than halfway to Phoenix. "Restock our food, first aid, whatever, and then we're movin' out. We're already behind schedule as it is," he continued, brow furrowed in frustration.

You knew he wanted to get back home, but even he had to admit the trip was going as smooth as possible so far. Only twice did you come across a few infected in your travels, and both times you were able to take them down quietly and without anyone getting hurt. It had been so long since you had seen one, you had nearly forgotten what they looked like. Or maybe as time went on, they just got uglier.

You walked into the store behind Joel, Ellie right on your heels, as you did a quick sweep of the room. It was small and easy to confirm it was safe.

"I'm gonna check out the back, make sure there's no surprises," Maria said softly next to you, and you nodded.

"I'm right behind you," you said.

"No, that's alright, I can do it," she said hurriedly, and before you could protest, she was slipping behind the stockroom door.

"Tommy, c'mere. Let's see if there's any gas left and if any of these cars are workin'," Joel whispered to his brother, and Tommy nodded in agreement, zipping his pack shut after he stuffed it full of expired nuts and beef jerky. Before he left, Joel turned back to you and Ellie.

"Be careful," he said, staring at you, and you nodded. "And no foolin' around," he added, now looking straight at Ellie, refusing to look away until she rolled her eyes and nodded. He ticked his jaw and picked up the gas can he found on one of the shelves, leaving just the two of you to explore.

"Be cool if we got a car," she said to you as she poked around the aisles, looking for anything worthwhile. "My parents never had one."

"Oh, no?"

"I don't think so. Maybe when I was really small they did, but I can't remember. My parents mostly took the bus or trains," she trailed off with a shrug.

"It's been a while since I've been in a car, myself," you murmured, sifting through the dry goods on the shelves.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Ellie said, looking around to make sure Maria was still in the back.

"Sure," you replied, scrunching your nose at some pop tarts that looked a little past their prime.

"Do you think doctors could make a cure?"

You stopped what you were doing to give her your full attention now.

"I mean, like, with my blood or whatever," she added.

"I don't know, Ellie. Science was never my best subject," you joked.

"But if there were some doctors out there who knew how vaccines were made, do you think they could do it?"

You had never really given the idea of a vaccine much thought. When Ellie told you her secret, you weren't thinking about a vaccine. You were thinking about the rare gift she was given, that being immune would give her the chance at a good, long life. And she deserved to have that with her family.

Then something clicked about the Fireflies.

"Ellie," you said slowly. "The Fireflies. They were based in two different hospitals, right?" She nodded. "Were they trying to develop a vaccine? Is that why they wanted Joel and Tommy to take you to Salt Lake City?"

"Yes," she admitted quietly. You took a deep breath, trying to pick your questions carefully and wondering why she didn't tell you this in the first place.

"And were you okay with that?"

"Not exactly. But Marlene said because I'm a minor, I didn't have a say," she told you.

"That's not true!" you said, feeling your anger flare. "Of course you have a say."

She shrugged, seeming indifferent, but you knew something about it must have bothered her if she brought it up. You were about to ask her more questions when you heard a box fall in the stock room. You whipped your head around and pulled out your gun, ushering Ellie behind you as you made your way over to the door. You nudged it open and peeked inside, your gun pointed at the floor.

"It's alright, it's just me!" Maria called out. You let out a sigh of relief and shoved the gun back in your jeans before pushing the door open all the way, finding Maria hunched over the floor scooping up floss and toothpaste that had spilled from the box.

"Find anything good?" you asked, your eyes roaming over the picked over shelves.

"Uh, not really," she said, shoving the box back against the wall. She stood up to look at you, her hand strategically hidden behind her back as she glanced down at her backpack on the floor near your feet, reaching out a hand.

"Do you mind?" she asked, motioning towards the pack.

"Oh, sure," you said, picking it up and handing it to her. She avoided eye contact and quickly snatched the bag from your grip. You raised an eyebrow at her curiously, but let it go, deciding to grill her later when Ellie wasn't around.

"Oh, cool, check it out!" Ellie exclaimed from the small break room. She popped her head out and raised a comic above her head. "I don't have this one yet!"

"Nice!" you said with a smile. There were so few pleasures the kid had, and that silly comic book series was one of them.

You heard the bell ding from the front of the store, then Tommy calling out Maria's name. The three of you headed back out to find Joel and Tommy waiting for you.

"All good?" Joel asked you.

"Yep. Ready to go?"

"Hell yeah, we are. With a new set of wheels," Tommy said with a grin, leading you out of the store and into the parking lot, where a dark green pickup truck was running idle.

"Wow, a '96 Dodge Ram, my dream car," you said teasingly, and you caught Joel smirk out of the corner of your eye. You took his hand and stopped, letting the others go ahead and pack their things into the truck, talking excitedly amongst themselves.

"This is great, Joel. Thank you," you said, looking up at him and giving his hand a squeeze.

"Don't gotta thank me," he replied. You took a moment to searching his eyes, only to see the affection he held for you reflected right back. Even after everything you put him through, his love for you never wavered. You brought a hand up to cup his cheek, lost in thought, and he gave you a curious look.

"You alright?" he asked. You blinked and dropped your hand.

"Yeah. Let's go," you said. Walking toward the truck, you slipped into the back of the cab where Maria sat behind Tommy with Ellie wedged between you both in the back.

"Let's get as many miles as we can under our belts before sundown," Joel said with a grunt as he lifted himself into the passenger seat in front of you.

"A proper road trip, with gas station snacks and all," Tommy said, shifting the truck into drive and heading out onto the open road.

By the end of the day you had made it to the Arizona border. Joel seemed like he was in a much better mood, either due to the truck or making up time on the road. Probably both. You noticed he even cracked a smile at a dumb joke Ellie told Tommy around the fire. In fact, everyone seemed to be in a good mood, except for Maria. She was unusually quiet and only offered up tight smiles when Tommy and Joel were telling a story and sharing a flask of whiskey.

Guilt began to creep into the back of your mind. She didn't seem bothered by it at the time, but maybe what you said about marriage and children sat with her and now you were giving her doubts, as well.

That night when you woke her up to take her turn on watch, you decided to stay awake a little longer when you knew no one could overhear you and find out what was going on.

"You seemed quiet today, everything okay?" you asked her as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She sighed and glanced around at the other three members of your group, confirming they were sound asleep, before standing up from her sleeping bag and picking up her rifle. She tipped her head towards the trees, indicating that you should follow. Once you were far enough away to talk quietly, she stopped to root around in her jacket pocket.

"If this is about what I said yesterday, I am so sorry," you began. "Don't listen to me, I obviously have my own shit to work through and you shouldn't let it effect you and Tommy."

"Huh?" she said, raising an eyebrow until she realized what you meant. "Oh! I already told you, that didn't bother me at all. But the timing of that conversation is kind of ironic..."

"What do you mean?" you asked.

She held something out to you in the dark. You took it from her and stepped more into the moonlight so you could get a better look.

"What is... ohmygod!" you nearly yelled, slapping your hand over your mouth at the last minute to muffle your voice. "Maria!" you whisper shouted, eyes wide, looking back and forth between her and the strip of plastic in your hand. She was grinning like an idiot with tears in her eyes. You pulled her into a tight hug.

"You're pregnant!" you said quietly, and you felt her nod. You stepped back and wiped the tears from your eyes. "Does Tommy know?"

"Not yet, I literally just took it today. I thought maybe I had just put on weight or something, then I was wondering how the hell a fourteen year old can keep up on the trail better than me, and I just had a hunch," she said excitedly.

"Oh, wow," you breathed, looking back down at the test in your hand before giving it back to her. "Congratulations! This is... amazing!"

"Thank you," she said, staring down at the test like she still couldn't believe it. "I'll tell him in the morning. I think I just needed a bit of time to get my head around it, first."

"Yeah, of course," you said, nodding. Then your thoughts drifted to Joel, and as if she was reading your mind, Maria gave you an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I know this is a sore topic for you guys-"

"No, don't you dare be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll be fine," you assured her.

"Okay," she said, still smiling as she took a deep breath and pocketed the test.

The next morning, Maria pulled Tommy aside to tell him the good news. Joel and Ellie hung their heads over their breakfast sleepily and physically jumped when Tommy's voice carried through the trees. Joel stood up, at first unsure if there was danger, then sat back down in a huff when he saw his brother was smiling.

"Would'ya keep it down?" Joel seethed as Tommy and Maria walked back into earshot. "You're gonna attract attention with all that noise."

"Sorry," Tommy said with a wide grin, looking back at Maria fondly. Joel looked at him expectantly, waiting for Tommy to explain himself. You held your breath when he finally spoke.

"We're gonna have a baby!" Tommy announced gleefully. You stood and gave him a warm smile before enveloping him into a tight hug, whispering congratulations in his ear before moving to Maria to give her the same treatment, pretending it was your first time hearing the news.

"No shit," Ellie was saying with a smirk. She offered Tommy and Maria both an awkward hug. "Congrats!"

Finally, you allowed your gaze to drift over to Joel, who hadn't moved a muscle, staring straight ahead. Your eyes flicked over to Maria nervously then back to Joel, everyone waiting for him to say something.

He was lost in thought, hardly even realizing everyone was looking at him when all he could think about was this should have been us. Ellie cleared her throat loudly and Joel blinked, finally snapping out of his fog. His eyes focused on Tommy and he gave him a weak smile before stretching out his hand and giving him a firm shake.

"Congrats," Joel finally managed to say, the word getting mangled in his throat.

Whatever extra time you had made up the day before using the truck was wasted that morning as Tommy and Maria went back and forth over their options. Ultimately, Tommy wanted to be cautious, and considering how close you were to Phoenix and near the end of your journey, decided he and Maria would head back home early.

You didn't see any harm in them leaving: the trip had been quiet and uneventful. Four of you came along as protection that wasn't even necessary.

Even so, at first you thought Joel would protest. But when his brother decided on his plan, Joel had even offered them the truck, saying "I would probably have done the same thing." A sentence that knocked the wind out of you.

Maria and Tommy each gave Ellie a big hug, and she thanked them for taking her in and getting her back to her family, her tone sincere and eyes a little watery. Ellie went to pack up her things and clean up the camp as you and Joel said goodbye to Tommy and Maria.

"Should only be another day on foot, weather looks like it's gonna hold up," Tommy told you both, glancing up at the clear skies.

"And what if her aunt and uncle... ain't with us anymore?" Joel asked, side-eyeing Ellie to make sure she wasn't listening.

"She was telling me a little bit about them when I asked her where they lived. Which reminds me-" Maria reached into her pack to pull out her map with detailed instructions on how to get to the house, and handed it to Joel. "They sounded like preppers. She said he had what sounded like a bunker, with weapons and cameras and shit. So when you get close, keep an eye out. They don't sound like they take kindly to strangers."

Joel nodded, shoving the map into his pack and sliding it back over his shoulders.

"Alright, then. See you in a week or so," Joel said, giving Tommy another handshake before turning around to help Ellie clean up camp. You gave them both a quick hug one more time.

"You gonna be okay?" Maria asked you once Tommy jumped into the drivers seat of the truck.

"Yeah, of course. Just take care of yourself," you said with a smile.

"I will. And remember: think about what I told you," she replied, narrowing her eyes. "You can't let fear run your life."

"I know," you said, taking a deep breath. "Thanks."

She gave you one last smile before climbing into the cab. They gave you all a quick wave as they made their way back North, the silence that they left behind suddenly deafening.

"You ready?" Joel asked, raising his eyebrows at you. You could feel it. The chasm between you was threatening to grow bigger again, pulling you apart just when you were starting to feel like you made a little progress.

"Yep," you said, adjusting the backpack on your shoulders.

Ellie was unusually quiet as you made your way down Route 89, passing signs along the way for the Grand Canyon. Any other time, you would beg Joel to take a detour so you could see it, but you kept your mouth shut.

"You ever been?" you asked Ellie, nodding towards the sign on the side of the road.

"Yeah, once," she said. "The summer before it happened."

You nodded, understanding she was referring to the outbreak and most likely, one of the last few good memories she had with her parents.

"You?" she asked, and you shook your head.

"I grew up in Chicago, that's pretty far from here. My parents didn't go on many vacations," you explained.

"How about you, Joel?" Ellie asked, and you smiled at her obvious attempt at bonding.

"Never saw it, either," he said gruffly. You looked at him in surprise. You had just assumed he would have seen it at some point in his life.

"Did you - are you from Chicago, too?" she asked, surprised that he didn't snap at her for once.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Me and Tommy grew up in Texas."

"That's not too far away from here. Would you ever go back to visit?"

Joel scoffed and shook his head.

"It's a big state, kid. Would probably take two weeks to get to Austin from here," he said. "Besides, nothin' left there for me anyway. I was livin' in New York City, moved there when I was 24."

You remained quiet; shocked and pleasantly surprised at how open Joel was being with Ellie. You could tell she was happy, too, by the way she was asking more questions to keep him talking.

By the end of the day, you had made it to the city limits of Phoenix. Joel had found a somewhat secluded area near a small stream to set up camp, deciding to venture into the city in the morning. Once you felt confident Ellie had fallen asleep, you wandered out to find Joel keeping first watch, sitting against a tree. You cleared your throat quietly as you approached, but he already knew you were there.

"Hey," you said softly, leaning up against the tree.

"You should get some rest, we got a long day tomorrow," he replied without looking at you.

"I know. Just came to see if you wanted to talk about it."

He took a deep breath and shifted his weight on the ground.

"Not much to say," he replied distantly.

You could tell you weren't going to get much out of him, so you nodded and pushed yourself off the tree, turning to head back to camp.

"Do you think you could ever change your mind?" he asked you suddenly. You stopped and turned around. Your chest ached at the way he looked at you, eyes all wide and soft and hopeful.

"I'm trying," you whispered. And you meant it.

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8

[daydreamtofiction]

Thou Shalt Not Covet // 20: Resurrection

Contents | Part 19 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Ben x Female Reader) THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UPON US. I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all I love you all. I'm going to sleep now.

Word Count: 7.1K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, adult & sexual themes. Readers must be 18+

You stirred gently from sleep, eyes closed as you drifted between the realms of reality and slumber. Echoes of the countryside seeped in through the open window like a soundscape, tranquil and idyllic; birdsong, wildlife, nature, rain-

Rain? 

Your eyes shot open, the remnants of your sleepy haze immediately falling away as you scrambled out of bed and hurried to the window. You pulled back the thick curtains, looking out over the vast landscape of the stately home, the plush, well kept grass and winding gravel paths, the fields in the distance that stretched along the skyline, as though nothing existed beyond it. 

The blue summer sky was blanketed in clouds, showering the earth in a rain so fine you could only see it in the ripple on the surface of a nearby pond. You gave a dejected sigh, walking around the bed to grab your phone off the nightstand. 

"Shit," you hissed as you noticed the time, the alarm you must have sent to snooze in your sleep.

You rushed out of your room in your t-shirt and pyjama shorts, making your way across the large landing towards the sound of voices and laughter, the smell of food and perfume. You tapped your knuckles on a door decorated with flowers and pushed it open, stepping into the room with an awkward grimace, an apology ready on your tongue. 

The spacious suite was buzzing with excitement, women with their hair in rollers, champagne flutes in their hands. They were all wearing matching silk robes; pale blue, 'bridesmaid' embroidered in white thread across the breast. You spotted Camilla from across the room, the only one in white, sitting with her back to you as a stylist blowdried her hair.

It felt like a bad teen movie; the moment the awkward new girl stepped into the high school cafeteria, looking over at the popular girls' table as she stood alone with her tray. They'd all known each other forever; the maid-of-honour her twin sister, the other four old friends. They were probably wondering why she'd asked you to be a bridesmaid at all, why you got to be part of the day they'd been waiting for since they were kids. 

"Oh, here she is!" One of the women shouted, jumping up from a couch in the middle of the room and rushing over to you. 

Camilla turned her head, smiling when she laid eyes on you and giving an excited wave. "You okay!?" she shouted over the sound of the hairdryer. 

You nodded, mouthing 'sorry' at her from across the room and pointing at your phone. 'Alarm didn't...'

She waved her hand at you, as if telling you not to worry. 

The woman approaching you was called Lottie, her freckled face gleaming with a grin as she handed you a robe. You took it and shrugged it on, looking down at the same 'bridesmaid' label embroidered into the pale blue silk. 

"Come and get some breakfast," she said, pointing to the coffee table between two couches, an elaborate spread laid across it. 

You picked at the food, putting a few pieces of fruit and croissant on a small plate and sitting down with the other women. 

"I'm so sorry I slept in," you said. 

"Oh don't worry about it," said Camilla's sister Alice. "You haven't missed anything. And Georgia's still asleep so you're not actually the latest." 

You laughed, biting into your croissant and relaxing back slightly into the couch. "I can't believe it's raining," you said, gesturing to the window on the other side of the room. "Especially with how warm June's been this year. I hope it stops before the ceremony." 

"Femi was just saying rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck," said Lottie.

The woman beside you nodded, her thick, dark hair sitting in a cluster of rollers on top of her head. "It is. They say it's supposed to wash away all the bad memories." 

"Hm." You nodded. "Well I hope it pours down then." 

They all laughed, and you allowed a smile, almost feeling bad for expecting coldness from them. They'd never been anything but kind; every dress fitting and group chat conversation filled with positivity and excitement, even the hen night had been surprisingly fun. Yet still, there was something inside you that made you doubt yourself, like you didn't belong amongst them.

Music played and the morning flowed as freely as the champagne. People rotated between the makeup artist and hair stylist, picking at the food and taking breaks in-between to dance and pose for pictures. You sat in the makeup chair as the woman swirled a brush over your eyelid, pinning your brow up with her thumb after you failed to stop blinking. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder, glancing up to see Camilla at your side.

"I know you don't like champagne so I got them to bring you a mojito," she said, handing you a tall glass, a sprig of mint floating over the ice. 

"Oh, wow, thank you. You didn't have to-" The makeup artist turned your face back towards her.  

Camilla laughed, patting you on the arm before walking away. 

You took a sip as the artist turned to dip her brush in another eyeshadow, quickly putting it down when she returned to you. You peered at yourself in the mirror through one eye, liking what you saw; glowing skin and romantically blushed cheeks, fluffy brows and the beginnings of a soft, dreamy eye. You found yourself thinking about your own wedding, the kind of makeup you'd have, the dress you'd wear, the colours you might choose. You could picture the guests, the bridesmaids, the church. But the groom didn't seem to have a face. No matter how hard you tried to imagine him waiting for you at the altar, you just couldn't make him out.

You were the last one to sit in the hair stylist's chair, nursing your cocktail as she ran a bristly round brush through your hair, spraying you with mists and pinning it up in sections while you watched the other women slip into their dresses. 

At every fitting, Camilla had been very specific about what she wanted your dresses to look like. They were beautiful; layers upon layers of delicate tulle that flowed to the ground like water, sleeves that draped off the shoulders and dozens of intricate flower appliqués. If it weren't for the soft blue colour, they could have been mistaken for wedding gowns. 

You watched as each woman was zipped and buttoned into her dress, the material gliding across the ground as they walked and twirled. And when your hair was finished, you put on your own, holding it tight to your chest as Femi fastened the back. You turned to looked at yourself in the mirror; the makeup, the hair and the most magnificent dress you had no idea how to walk in without tripping over it. You felt beautiful. You looked beautiful. You all did. 

You stood in the room waiting to go, clutching your bouquet in front of you, your thumb fiddling with the twine keeping it all together. Clusters of periwinkles, cornflowers, lavender and lilacs were peppered with baby's-breath and eucalyptus. You brought it to your nose, the sleepy perfume calming you down as you shifted your weight from side to side in your heels. 

The door opened and Camilla stepped into the room, eliciting a collective gasp from the bridal party, even you. Her jet black hair was slicked into a low bun, a veil cascading from it like a waterfall to the ground. Her dress was a pearly white; high neck and long sleeves, the beading catching in the sunlight that shone through the window. The train was long enough to rival royalty, her mother and father carrying it into the room behind her. 

The photographer was snapping pictures, moving around to catch each of the bridesmaids reactions. You glanced around to see them all carefully dabbing away tears, wondering if you were supposed to be crying too. You lifted a finger to your eye as he took your photo, not wanting to seem like the odd one out when they looked back over the album. 

"Right," said Camilla. "Let's go get married." 

It was two bridesmaids to a car; the dresses so big that you had to be packed and folded into the back seats like the stuffing of a pillow. You'd been put with Esther; the most laid back of the group, her soothing voice and charming laugh making the entire ordeal a little less mortifying. When the driver finally closed her door, she blew a loose strand of hair out of her face, turning to you and smirking. 

"Logistically, they should've just stuck us all in the back of a van," she said. 

You giggled. "Yeah, or one of those things they transport horses in." 

"Can you imagine," she laughed. 

The engine rumbled to life and you began to move, following in a long line of classic cars decorated with flowers. You returned to fiddling with the twine on your bouquet, breathing slow to loosen the knots forming in your stomach. You tried to focus on the view from your window as you travelled out of the countryside and into the small town, people stopping to look as you all drove past, the pretty views and brightening sky. You hadn't been back there in two months, and it was hard to look at the cobbled roads, thatched roofs and kitschy village shops without thinking of him, without knowing you were just a car ride away from facing him again. 

"Are you okay?" asked Esther.

"Hm?" You turned to look at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." 

"Are you sure? You seem more nervous than Cam, and she's the bride." 

You breathed out a weak laugh. "No, I'm fine, really. Just... churches, y'know. They make me uneasy." 

"Ah." She nodded, smoothing down a piece of her dress that had puffed up between you. "Well don't worry about that. If I can walk into a church then you definitely can." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm a trans woman, about to walk into a Catholic Church and stand in front of a priest who probably thinks I don't deserve to exist." 

"This one won't think that," you said. "He won't."

"How do you know? Have you met him?" 

"I have. And he's one of the good ones, I promise." 

She eyed you for a moment before smiling. "Well then you've got nothing to worry about either, have you." 

She reached over and squeezed your hand, holding it supportively for the rest of the journey. You felt bad, like you'd lied to her, taken her legitimate fear and used it to hide your own sordid truth. You'd tried to move on again, to get back to where you were before the day you found him in this town. But something was missing now, as though you'd left a piece of yourself behind, or maybe he'd taken it, and now nothing fit together right. 

The cars rolled to a stop outside the church. You could see the other bridesmaids gathering at the gates, their dresses fluttering together in a cloud of powder blue. The driver opened Esther's door first, taking her hand to help her out. And for a handful of seconds you were alone in the backseat, with nothing but the sound of your own breath, your nails raking over a fray in the twine you'd been fiddling with until it broke. 

"Oh, fuck sake," you whispered as the arrangement fell apart in your lap, stems and flowers and greenery sitting in the trough of your dress. 

You gathered it all back together frantically as your door opened, clutching it in your fist as you climbed out into the warm June breeze. Esther smiled at you, gesturing for you to come with her to join the others, then she looked down at the flowers in your hand, the piece of string in the other. 

"My god, you really are bricking it aren't you," she laughed, helping you tie it all back together. 

When you got to the other bridesmaids, your eyes darted across all of their bouquets, then down to yours. It looked like shit; too much green on one side, a clump of baby's-breath on the other, a broken stem of lavender hanging limply over your knuckles. You snapped it off and threw it to the ground behind you before anyone noticed. 

The bridal car pulled up and you watched as Camilla and her father climbed out, their smiles warmer than the summer air. You couldn't help but smile too, wondering if your own father would smile like that. He would. Though, he'd probably complain about having to wear a suit first.

You stared up at the church as you made your way towards it, blowing out slow, shaking breaths through pursed lips. 

"It's not about you, Ellis," you muttered to yourself. "This isn't about you." 

You felt an arm link yours, turning to see Esther at your side. She was looking straight ahead, pressing her lips together nervously, and you couldn't help but wonder if the arm she'd given was for your benefit or her's. 

The familiar musky aroma hit you as you walked into the church. You pushed your nose into your lopsided flowers, breathing in their scent instead, wishing you could tuck yourself away inside the petals like Thumbelina until it was all over. 

The organiser shifted you around, peeling you from Esther's side to arrange you in a line. You breathed a sigh of relief to find yourself somewhere in the middle, kicking the bottom of your dress out to stop it getting caught under your feet. Short steps, that's what the dressmaker had said. Little shuffles, a small kick if you feel it catching on your shoes. You were going to fall over. You just knew it. 

Music began to play in the chapel and the hum of chit chat fell silent. You took a deep breath, glancing over your shoulder to give Esther a reassuring smile, before turning back and staring down at the ground, waiting for your turn to walk. 

Lottie went first. Then Georgia, then Femi, then it was you. You turned the corner and stepped through the open chapel doors, taking the fastest small steps you possibly could, wishing you'd convinced Rav to choose the church with the tiny aisle instead. Heads were turned, women in large hats and extravagant fascinators, men with corsages on their lapels and children with wide eyes, all watching you with smiles as you made your way towards the altar. You kept your eyes on Femi in front, watching the way her dress moved so gracefully across the floor, hoping yours somehow looked the same. 

You finally raised your head when you reached the front, your eyes meeting Father Benedict's almost immediately. He was smiling softly, a crisp white stole draped around his neck. You notice his throat bob with a swallow, a glisten along the waterlines of his eyes. You could have cried. But then you looked at Rav, and you couldn't help but break into a smile. He was beaming, chest puffed, shifting on his feet with excited energy as he waited for his bride. He winked at you and you scrunched your nose happily before stepping aside to stand with the other bridesmaids. Esther followed behind you, then Alice. 

Father Benedict raised his hands and the music changed. There was a collective shuffle as everyone in the pews rose to their feet, turning to see Camilla enter the chapel, a bouquet in one hand, her father's fingers firmly clutched in the other. They walked together to the sweet sound of strings, her dress and veil trailing elegantly behind her. She kept her eyes on Rav the entire time, smiling, blushing, and you felt a selfish sense of pride wash over you. You'd introduced them. You'd known how perfect they would be for each other before they'd ever even met. And now here they were, just a year later, declaring their love in front of you all. 

"Hello everyone," said Father Benedict. "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Raviraj and Camilla. Let us call upon God to be with us today as we celebrate this union. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Peace be with you."  "And also with you," you said quietly, your voice lost amongst the collective.

"Let us pray."

You sat down as he began the prayer. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to savour his voice, just for a moment. 

You wondered if he realised he was looking at you. Those striking blue eyes glancing over every few moments as he gave his first few readings, almost as though he was checking you were still there, making sure you hadn't been a figment of his imagination. You listened to him speak carefully; this was what he'd chosen, to share the word of his God, and he was good at it. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, you have come together today so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of your family and friends," he said. "And in doing so, you will be strengthened to keep mutual and lasting faith with each other as you carry out the duties of marriage. And so, in the presence of the church and of your family and friends, I ask you to state your intentions."

Rav and Camilla exchanged a glance and a nervous laugh. You smiled. 

"Raviraj and Camilla, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?" 

"I have," they both said. 

"Raviraj, are you resolved to take Camilla to be your wife: to love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?" 

"I am," said Rav, pressing his lips together to hold back an excited grin. 

"Camilla, are you resolved to take Raviraj to be your husband: to love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I am," said Camilla. 

"And are you, Raviraj Mishra free lawfully to marry Camilla Anne Bowen?" 

"I am." 

"Are you, Camilla Anne Bowen free lawfully to marry Raviraj Mishra?" 

"I am."  "Well that's lucky," said Father Benedict, getting a light chuckle from everyone, including the bride and groom. 

He was always so good at easing tension; knowing exactly when people needed a moment to laugh, a second to take a breath. 

"Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his church," he said, gesturing for them to hold hands. 

You watched on with pure joy as the couple said their vows, your cheeks aching from smiling, any nerves or apprehension you had melting away as you listened to them giggle and trip over their words. But every now and again, you would find your gaze slipping to Father Benedict; the smile lines, the crinkled brow, the curve of his lips as he laughed. 

"You were right, he is really nice, isn't he," Esther whispered as she leaned over to you.

You nodded. "He is. I'm really glad he's the one doing this." 

"Do we have rings?" he asked.

Rav's best man took a step forward, taking the rings from the breast pocket of his suit and handing them to Father Benedict. 

"Lovely, okay," he said, clearing his throat. "May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity. Amen." 

He handed Rav a ring. "Repeat after me: Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Camilla," said Rav. "Receive this ring as a sign of..." 

You slapped your face with your palm. Camilla rolled her eyes with a laugh. 

"Come on, I gave you the easy version of this as well," Father Benedict joked, drawing another laugh from the guests. "As a sign of my love and fidelity." 

"Camilla, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

He patted Rav on the shoulder like a proud father, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Give me the hard version," said Camilla, making him chuckle deeply in his throat. 

"Has to be the same, I'm afraid." He gave her the ring. "Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." 

"Raviraj, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," she said before slipping it onto his finger, smiling like she'd perfectly recited a Shakespeare soliloquy.

Father Benedict ran a hand through his hair. "Now this is where we would usually declare them husband and wife," he said, addressing the chapel. "However, Raviraj and Camilla have asked if they can read their own declarations which they have prepared. So I will now take a step back and allow Raviraj to begin." 

You sat up straighter, your ears pricking with curiosity as Rav reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it with nervous fingers and clearing his throat. 

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Camilla. Before I met you, I'd stopped believing in love. And because of that, I'd grown comfortable on my own; complacent, maybe even a little bit jaded. But from the second I laid eyes on you, I was forced to confront everything I thought I knew. You made me realise that love isn't something you can just avoid. It's something you feel whether you want to or not, and it should be embraced and cherished and nurtured."

The paper was shaking in his hands, and it almost made you tear up. You placed a hand over your chest as you listened, glancing over at Father Benedict who hadn't taken his eyes off Rav since he began speaking. 

"You found me at a time when I didn't even realise I was lost. When I thought the only way to be strong was to be alone. You showed me that real strength lies in being vulnerable and honest and imperfect, in being brave enough to risk letting someone behind the barricade. Maybe you'll lose everything. Or maybe..." He gestured to Camilla. "You'll gain more than you had to begin with." 

Father Benedict looked at you, you knew because you could feel his gaze on your face like the sun's rays. But you kept yours on Rav.

"So today, I vow to you, Camilla, that I will always keep my heart open for you. I vow to choose you, every single day. You are my person, my partner, and the best risk I ever took." 

The sound of sniffling echoed through the chapel, and you watched as Camilla wiped a tear from her cheek. She cleared her throat, turning to Alice who took out a piece of paper and handed it to her quickly.

"Rav," she said as she unfolded the paper, her voice still wobbly. "When a little over a year ago, a friend told me I should meet her neighbour, I was skeptical." 

You smiled, like you'd been given a shout out on the radio, mentioned in an Oscars speech. Father Benedict held back a smirk as he watched your reaction, rubbing his mouth with his fingers to hide it.

"I was focused and career driven and believed that a relationship would only slow me down. So I said no to meeting you. But then, like an act of God." She gestured to the church around her with a shy laugh. "We ended up in the same bar one night, where that friend introduced us after all. And I am... so glad. Loving you was never a question; I adored you from the start. The fear was that I'd found my soulmate at the wrong time in my life." 

Your focus flitted to Father Benedict as you thought of the last thing he'd said to you. Right person, wrong everything else. He swallowed, his eyes glazed over as Camilla spoke. 

"But there came a point where I had to ask myself: If I were to look back on my life, what would I regret more? Missing out on a few promotions? Or missing out on a lifetime of loving you? There was no contest. Choosing you isn't just a decision. It's the best decision I've ever made. I don't want to wonder what could have been." She flipped her paper over to read the other side. "And what I've discovered is that I actually haven't had to give up anything. Because you have supported me and encouraged me and cheered me on in whatever I've chosen to do. So my promise to you, Rav, is to always do the same. I promise to love and encourage and cheer you on in whatever you do, and I promise to choose you every day, because the only thing worse than not being with you is the regret of never having tried." 

You brought your hands together to clap, stopping when you realised no one else was applauding. Instead there were tears, sharp sniffs and coughs. Father Benedict stepped back up to them, clearing his throat and curling his mouth into a sincere smile. 

"That was beautiful," he said. "Now, let us humbly invoke God's blessing upon this bride and groom, that in his kindness he may favour with his help those on whom he has bestowed the bond of marriage." 

"Closer if you can, Darlin'," said the photographer from behind his camera. 

You shuffled closer to the groomsman you'd been placed beside, so close your hip was now pressing against him. Surely this was close enough. You held your bouquet in front of you and smiled as the camera snapped in quick succession. 

The sun was gleaming now in a clear blue sky, the air growing humid as you all stood outside the church for photos. The confetti you'd thrown was fluttering across the grass in the light breeze, the cars waiting near the road to take you to the reception. 

"That's lovely," said the photographer. "If you on the end there could just turn your body inwards a bit please." 

Lottie turned as the camera snapped again. 

You were standing in a meticulously organised row; six groomsmen and six bridesmaids, slotted together and posed in your blue dresses and their matching blue ties and pocket squares. Your groomsman was Rav's cousin Niall, who kept making you laugh by muttering things under his breath. 

"You, love, you're going to have to get closer than that," said the photographer. 

"Me?" You pointed to yourself. 

"If you can please, darlin'." 

"Jesus, any closer and we'll have to use protection," said Niall quietly.

You laughed through your nose, trying to hold it in as the camera shutter went off again. 

Across the grass, Rav and Camilla were standing together, stealing kisses and holding hands beneath the shade of a large tree. You felt warm watching them, unsure if you'd ever been this unequivocally happy for someone else before. Your eyes moved over the groups of guests to the church, your heart stopping for a moment when you saw Father Benedict standing at the top of the steps near the entrance. 

He was out of his white alb and stole now, standing with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, a black shirt rolled up at the sleeves and white clerical collar around his neck. He met your gaze for a moment and you gave him a soft smile. He smiled back, but it seemed sad, even from so far away. 

"Can we do a funny one?" asked Georgia.

The rest of you groaned in unison, but it was too late, the photographer already coming over to reposition the group. He turned you all sideways, your back to Niall's chest, his back to Esther's and so on until it looked like a twelve person queue.

"This is a bit human centipede-y, don't you think?" Niall called out to him.

"Do you think he's going to have us conga all the way back to the manor?" Esther joked.

Niall laughed. "Ellis is leading so we'd all be fucked." 

You elbowed him. 

"Alright, after three you're all going to kick out your leg and lean back on the person behind you!" the photographer shouted. 

"Oh cheers, Georgia, this is just wonderful," said one of the groomsmen. 

"I just wanted to pull some funny faces," she shouted back. "I didn't think he'd have us doing fucking Cirque du Soleil!" 

You looked over at Father Benedict again, shaking your head at him. His shoulders shook with a gentle laugh, his hand covering a smile. 

The photographer moved on to Camilla and Rav's parents soon after. You stayed on the grass, trying to rearrange your bouquet as your heels sank into the soft earth beneath you. You looked over at the other bridesmaids, watching as they all found their partners amongst the chaos; Alice and her husband talking to Femi and her fiancé, Lottie sitting on the church steps FaceTiming her boyfriend in Australia as Georgia introduced her girlfriend to Esther and her boyfriend. You bit the inside of your cheek, returning your attention to the flowers in your hand.

"Ellie!" 

You looked up to see Blossom running towards you. 

"Hi," you said, bending down to hug her before pulling back to look at her dress, the mint green material covered in a subtle frog print. "You look so cute." 

She smiled as Lorna caught up behind her, placing a hand lovingly on top of her daughter's head.

"So you compromised on her wearing the frog onesie to the wedding, then," you said. 

She nodded. "Praise the lord." 

You laughed. 

She slid her sunglasses onto her head, her almost-knee-length hair falling in loose waves down her back. She was wearing a long, sunflower print dress with exaggerated bell sleeves, a pair of wooden clogs with hand-painted soles. You didn't realise you were staring at her until she narrowed her eyes at you. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I just wish I was you." 

"Don't be silly." She laughed and patted your arm. "I'm just going to see Rav. Are you coming Blossom?"

The little girl didn't move. You looked at Lorna and smiled. "I'll stay with her."

She thanked you as she walked away, and you returned to plucking stray leaves from your bouquet. You looked down to see Blossom running her fingers over your dress, quietly admiring the appliqués.

"Do you like it?" you asked. 

She nodded.

"I'll save it for you. You can have it when you're older." 

She smiled shyly. 

You crouched down, resting on your haunches to look at the dress with her, turning at the waist so she could see the back. 

Father Benedict was still standing at the top of the church steps, leaning against the open door as he stared off into space. But he seemed to sense that you were looking at him, glancing down to catch your gaze. 

You wanted to talk to him. Not about what happened, not about the two of you or your feelings or religion or anything. You just wanted to talk. About the weather, about how his day was going, about what he was going to have for dinner. There had to be a part of you that was still capable of that. 

Blossom pointed to one of the appliqués near the hem of your dress. "This one is my favourite," she said.

She didn't talk a lot, so whenever she did it took you by surprise. You returned your attention to her immediately. 

"Really? I like that one too. And this one here." 

You looked back up to find him smiling; a soft, sincere smile that made your heart ache. 

"Ellis, our car's ready to go!" Esther shouted across the grass. 

You stood up, taking Blossom's hand to lead her back to Lorna, allowing one last glance back at the church steps. 

A strange sense of calm washed over you as you looked at him, like there was comfort in your last memory of him being in the place he'd chosen to stay. 

You weren't sure how you'd ended up in the middle of the dance floor, huddled amongst a huge group of women as they squashed together in excitement. You'd intended to stay on the outskirts, but someone had pulled you, another accidentally pushing you further inward, until eventually you were at the heart of the cluster, watching as Camilla turned her back, counting down from three. 

Her bouquet came flying towards you, but instead of catching it, you ducked, letting it soar over your head and into the hands of a woman behind you. She jumped and cheered, the rest of the women laughing and clapping as her boyfriend jokingly made a run for the door. 

"God, Ellis, tell me you're scared of commitment without telling me you're scared of commitment," said Camilla, laughing as she walked over to you. 

"Well my natural reaction to things flying at my head is to duck," you said with a shrug. 

A waiter walked past with a tray of champagne. She plucked one off it and took a large gulp.

"The world's not running out of champagne, Cam," you said. 

"Sorry," she mumbled, wiping the corner of her mouth with her hand. "This whole wedding's just been so stressful. All that drama with the planner, and then the fucking church burning down." 

"Maybe it was her. Set fire to it out of spite because you sacked her." 

She laughed. "Wouldn't put it past her. We're just so lucky we got the church we did. He was nice wasn't he. The priest. Made it really... not boring."

"Yeah, he was... It was good." 

She cocked her head, brow furrowing slightly. "What?" 

"What?" 

"You just seem really sad." 

"I'm not sad. I'm not." You looked around the busy hall. "Lonely, yes. Sad, no." 

"Oh, Ellis, don't say that, you're breaking my heart."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm only joking. Go and enjoy your wedding for Christ's sake." 

She eventually disappeared into the sea of guests as you made your way over to the bar. You ordered a drink and plonked yourself back down at your table, resting your cheek on your fist as you sipped it slowly. 

The large hall was dark, flashing with colourful disco lights and strobes as the DJ played music from a deck in the corner. You watched people enjoying themselves; the funny dance-walk they'd do as they made their way to the floor, the buttons of men's shirts coming further undone as they got drunker and sweatier, the kids being told off for sliding on their knees in their good clothes.

Your table was empty since Lorna had taken Blossom home, the bridesmaids up dancing and catching up with people they knew on the other side of the room. You didn't mind, always finding parties more of an obligation than they were fun; you hated having to shout down people's ears just to have a conversation, being pressured to get up and dance, losing your seat if you left it for too long. You much preferred to sit on the edge of the room, nursing a drink and people watching. You were Ellis Attenborough, observing humans in their natural habitat. 

The music lowered and the multicoloured lights melted to a warm white. You looked around in confusion as the noise of the hall seemed to hush suddenly. 

"Ladies and gentleman, please join me in welcoming the new Mr and Mrs Mishra to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife," said the DJ over the speakers.

The room erupted into cheers and applause. You clapped along as Rav took Camilla's hand and led her to the centre of the empty dance floor. She'd changed dresses, swapping her ornate, bountiful gown for a sleek, elegant slip. You watched as the photographer scurried around them, trying to get a good shot as they wrapped their arms around each other and began to sway to the music. 

You hated yourself for thinking of him as you watched them dance. You hated that you felt jealous, persecuted, forced to spend the rest of your life as a spectator to other people's love stories from the corner of the room. You'd never been certain of what you wanted, and there was something so cruel in knowing now; knowing that you did want the marriage, the children, the brushing teeth side by side in the mirror each morning and washing dishes while the other dried them in the evenings. You wanted the fights, the sex, the anniversaries, the dates. You wanted to be a girlfriend, then a fiancé, then a wife. And if there really was a God, he was a fucking arsehole for taking all of those wants and putting them into a man you could never have. For setting up the dominoes so perfectly and then moving the last one just an inch too far to fall. 

The song was still going, and you watched as other couples began to join them on the dance floor, moving in their own little bubbles, smiling, kissing, embracing. You got up and weaved through the crowd towards the exit, stepping out of the hall into the vast, empty foyer of the stately home.

You grabbed the hem of your dress, lumping the abundance of material in your arms as you made your way through the front doors and out into the cool night air. Your ears were ringing, the noise of the party a distant hum as you walked down the steps and over the gravel towards the gardens. There were a few people dotted over the grounds, a couple walking hand-in-hand through the flower gardens, a man in a three piece suit smoking a cigarette as he sat on the grass, a woman waiting for a cab near the long driveway. 

You trudged over the grass with your dress balled up in your arms, drinking in deep breaths as you prepared yourself to go back inside. You turned around, taking in the full view of the manor, the stars above so bright and unpolluted by city light. 

You held your middle finger up at the sky. "Fuck you," you said. "You won. Well done." 

The man with the cigarette gave you an awkward look. 

"I'm talking to God," you said. "He's a prick." 

"Ah." He nodded.

You let out an exasperated sigh and walked back towards the house, almost tripping when your heel got caught in the grass. The noise from the reception grew louder as you made it back onto the gravel, and you wondered if you should just go straight upstairs to your room, lie down and begin nursing the inevitable headache. You reached into your bra for your key card, pulling it out and immediately dropping it, listening as it clattered down each step you'd just climbed. 

"Of course," you muttered, turning around to walk back down when a figure emerged from the dark. 

His footsteps crunched slowly as his tall frame came into view. You stopped, back straightening, blinking rapidly as your brain tried to catch up with your eyes. 

"Hi," said Father Benedict, his voice so quiet the breeze almost carried it away. 

"Hi..." you replied, brows coming together in confusion. 

He picked up the key card and held it out to you.

"Thanks," you said, walking down the last few steps and taking it from him. "I... I didn't think priests usually got invited to the reception..." 

"I wasn't invited," he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "I erm, it was actually quite stalkerish if I'm honest, I'm- I'm not proud of it. I asked around the town and found out where they were having it." 

"Oh." You looked over your shoulder to the open doors. "Well I'm sure they won't mind that you're here. They seemed to really like y-"

"I came to find you." 

"To find me?" 

"To tell you that this morning was my last service." 

"You're moving churches again?" 

"I'm leaving the clergy." 

You fell silent, looking around in bewilderment. "Wh- I don't und- Why?" 

"You know why." 

You stared at him for a moment, then your eyes grew wide. "No," you breathed. "No. You can't- You can't."

"Well I have." 

"Wh- Wh... When did you...?" 

"Today." 

You lost your grip on the skirt of your dress, the material falling from your arms to the floor. "Why would you do that?" 

He didn't answer, looking down at you like you already knew. 

"Ben..." 

"I can live without this." He pointed to his collar, before shaking his head, his voice cracking. "I don't think I can live without you." 

Your lips parted, a breath escaping like your lungs had caved in. Your eyes were beginning to water because you'd forgotten how to blink, your heart thumping in time with the music inside. 

"Ellis," he whispered. 

"Are you playing a trick on me?"

He breathed out a laugh, shaking his head as he moved closer and brought his hands up to cup your face. He tilted your head back slightly and leaned down, placing a slow, tender kiss on your lips. When he stopped, he let his forehead rest against yours, looking into your eyes as you struggled to form a coherent sentence. 

"But what... What if- If it didn't work out? Then-"

"Then I'd be thankful I got to love you. Openly, completely. Even if it was just for a little while." 

"You're not thinking clearly. You're giving up everything-"

"I'm gaining everything."

You shook your head in disbelief. 

Another quiet laugh rumbled in his throat. "Ellis," he said. "What do you want?" 

You paused, staring up at him. "I want to brush my teeth with you." 

"What?" 

You shook your head, throwing your arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into another kiss. His hands slid down from your face to wrap around your waist, hugging you tight as your lips moved in perfect tandem. You felt him smile, and you smiled too, weaving your fingers into the back of his hair.

Rav and Camilla wandered through the doors, taking a few steps before stopping suddenly. 

"Is that... Ellis... kissing our priest...?" asked Rav.

Camilla grabbed his arm and they slowly retreated back inside. 

Ben broke away, bringing his hands back to your face as he stared down at you. "Right person," he said. "Full stop."

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @hiddendiary @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1 @spectaclebitch @paola-carter @gordorio @shjl15 @thedaredevilsgirl @howardtonypotts @ceccille @wllsfer @thelostsmiles @vi0letdaze @stanfanfiction @king-kongbebe-blog @sof38 @doctorscarletwitch @rmoonstoner @intrappolatatrairicordi @ehuether @dragonqueen89 @estheticwh0re @Lfp10836 @kanyewestest @star-girl-05 @theothersideofthescreen @battledress @chaosdorito @vlqueen @erratica47 @happybunnyclumsyduck @bloggerbatch @bimrwolf @chaand-sitara @dude-where-s-my-tardis @run-clever-boy @j3mj3rrica

[yuri-is-online]

The TWST cast from the original Fyuuture Kid timeline is so Cleopatra by Lumineers coded. They just get their (pregnant) joyfriend ripped away from them, cursed, and then sent back to earth, where they can't follow all in one day. That's gotta be a fucking nightmare. They just lose everything at the same time. Bro. Imagine Jamil or Azul, they had to fight for everything and just when they finally, FINALLY, think they have something that will never leave, it's taken away. Imagine malleus or cater or silver; they've already lost so much, silver just lost his dad and now, when he's going to make his own family, they're taken from him too.

TW FOR SUICIDE.

You wrote one time that of Yuu ever died, Floyd would be quick to follow, so. Did Jade and Azul have to put him on suicide watch? My mind is reeling there were NO WINNERS in this timeline Goddamn.

Sorry for the angst dude I just think about this AU a lot

i am so sorry for making you all live with this many thoughts and just waltzing on off to do fuck all

So there weren't any winners in the original timeline no, but the way things went down sort of prevented the type of outcome you are describing with Floyd due to the potential for hope, that most dangerous of falsehoods. In a way that sort of makes it worse though... so lets talk about what went down shall we?

(I'm going to keep this post to more general information, but I did write some specific ship thoughts I'll probably use for another post later on, I just need to think on some of them more...)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au which can be found under the series section of my masterlist. This post will not contain discussions of suicidal ideation, but will contain major character death and descriptions of violence. If you are curious about what happened to Yuu and Fyuuture kid, look at this post here.

General Original Timeline Facts

To give a brief re-cap of what happens to Yuu, they were arrested by the Magical Marshall's office and sent back to their world, while pregnant, and cursed to forget everything that had happened to them in Twisted Wonderland. Something I didn't mention in that first post, mostly because I intended to imply it in the answer about Riddle's relationship with Yutu but ended up cutting, is that none of the characters actually know that this is what happened at first. They know that Yuu disappeared, but they don't know that the Marshalls were involved or that Yuu went back to their world, which causes a real sense of panic in all of them because holy shit their spouse and unborn child just went missing and they can't seem to get anyone to take this seriously. How the Marshalls went about hiding this information, and what the general public believed happened to Yuu depends on who their husband was, as did the fallout of their disappearance.

For anyone who might be a bit confused, the Magical Marshall's Office is an elite squad of police officers who investigate magical crime, and occasionally deal with overblots. They are the organization that Deuce wants to join one day, which does mean that the people who made the decision to see Yuu as a threat to public safety and send Yuu home were Deuce's own co-workers and friends.

Deuce is the first to suspect that the Marshall's might have had something to do with Yuu's disappearance, but he isn't able to really do much with that. He tries, but he is stonewalled and eventually fired- though by the time that happened monster attacks started getting really bad in the Queendom and Deuce had a whole other set of questions.

Speaking of those monster attacks, the instant Yuu is removed from Twisted Wonderland Grim overblots I have an idea as to why, but it isn't super set in stone. This "Chimera" begins hunting and stirring up monsters, inciting them to attack civilization while it focuses on trying to "wake up" the Phantoms of the Great 7. These phantoms want to re-join with their respective overblot boy, which is an easier task for some of them than others.

The first phantom to re-appear was the Thorn Fairy's. Malleus chose to seal himself and his phantom in an eternal sleep inside the Briar Valley capital after ordering Sebek and Silver to evacuate everyone who lived there, leaving his people truly leaderless and in shambles. He technically also ordered Lilia to go with them, but he refused. He wasn't able to abandon another Draconia to die alone. A lot of nocturnal fae died to the Phantom before Malleus's sacrifice, but because the problem was more or less contained to Briar Valley not all of the other nations saw the monster problem as a threat. They should have.

The second phantom to re-appear was The Queen of Hearts'. Riddle, having been approached by Deuce with his suspicions regarding Yuu's disappearance and outraged by what he saw as a clear violation of the law (if nothing else) was easy prey and re-assimilated into the monster. The phantom then began hunting down each of Riddle's previous dorm mates to corrupt them into card soldiers for its army, eventually fashioning four lieutenants that were a touch more sentient that the others out of Trey, Cater, Deuce, and Ace.

Certain members of the Al-Asim family saw that happen and quietly, without Kalim's knowledge, arrange to have Jamil killed. This doesn't prevent the Sorcerer of the Sands' phantom from reuniting with him, it just means the monster is puppeteering a corpse. And dragging around a second once it gets its hands on Kalim...

Obviously at this point something of a pattern has been established, meaning S.T.Y.X. is expected to do something. Idia does not actually overblot for a second time thank you very much, Phantom Ortho has a mind of his own and he promised to stay in the Underworld until it was Idy's time. His first order of business is to check in on Vil, Azul, and Leona to make sure they're ok. He manages to make contact with Vil, but the Coral Sea proves impossible to get a message through to and Leona is M.I.A. Literally, he and Ruggie have both disappeared while investigating monster attacks around the slums. Idia has a decision to make, and it's not one he really likes, but S.T.Y.X. has a better relationship with the Sunset Savannah than it does the Coral Sea, so it's off to the Elephant Graveyard while Vil agrees to stay behind on the Isle of Woe under observation for his own safety.

It's a decision Idia regrets later. He gets to Leona in time to help him fight and kill the King of Beasts's phantom, but it costs Leona and Ruggie their lives, and while he's there, the Sea Witch's phantom finds Azul and begins using his magic to drain the merfolk dry. Floyd manages to use his unique magic to distract Azul long enough to allow Jade to escape, who only flees because he thought his brother was behind him the whole time. The oceans become polluted with blot, forcing the surviving merfolk to the surface. Many go to NRC and take refuge in the Octavinelle dorm pocket dimension, resulting in the Mostro Lounge being closed to make more room. Somehow that feels more like a killing blow to Azul for Jade than what the phantom did.

Schools like NRC, RSA, and Nobel Bell become sort of centers for survivors due to the large amounts of mages, magical wards, and artifacts that such schools typically have made them safer than most towns. NRC specifically has seen a large influx of magicless people who run a lot of the things the ghosts used to and runs a lot of normal school classes in additional to the magic program, which shifts over time to be more focused on fighting due to the increased monster attacks.

Also Crewel is now Headmage. It would have been Trein but I don't think he needs the stress. I haven't decided if he is still alive or not, but Vargas and Sam are still kicking.

So to give a run down of where everyone stands in the original timeline in order: Malleus and his phantom are trapped in an eternal sleep, Lilia is dead, Silver and Sebek are alive (at least at first) and trying to help the fae refuges displaced by the Thorn Fairy's Phantom. All of Heartslabyul are overblot phantoms, and actively making the Queendom of Roses unlivable. Jamil was assassinated and the Sorcerer of the Sands's phantom went on to kill Kalim and most of his family. To be clear that wasn't because of Jamil's lingering emotions, but good luck explaining that to most people. Vil and Idia are overblot free, Vil because he is being detained on the Isle of Woe and Idia because of his promise with Phantom Ortho. Leona and Ruggie died fighting the King of Beast's phantom. Azul and Floyd are blot phantoms, while Jade is alive and tending bar at what remains of the lounge at NRC.

Now Epel, Rook, and Jack aren't named in that list. No one really knows what happened to them, but they are assumed dead (or at least Jack and Epel are.) Since this is my AU and I get to give out the information, I'll let you know that Rook is a phantom under control of the Fairest Queen's phantom, Jack is dead, and Epel is alive, but cut off from the rest of Twisted Wonderland by the monsters under the Fairest Queen's control. He's right teed off about that, hey Yutu go get him that ladder he's gonna give Rook a piece of his mind-

I do have some ship specific thoughts but I want to cook with them a bit more... but to maaaybe tease some of them?

Yutu and his friends had to fight the Heartslabyul boys multiple times. Yes this hurt their Yutus a lot, and is one of the main reasons Riddle! Yutu hates his dad so much.

Vil can hear the Fairest Queen talking to him and it's not great for his mental stability. Neither is being cooped up in the Isle of Woe, his Yutu did meet him and remembers it being a terrifying experience.

Jade has a good relationship with Floyd! Yutu, Jade and Floyd are their own people but losing Floyd killed a part of him that was slightly healed by getting his nephew back. He likes to tease Azul! Yutu and told him a great deal about his dad. As for his own Yutu... their relationship is a tad strained by how protective Jade is over his son. He is terrified of losing him and what is left of his pearl...

Not all Yutus are in the same dorm as their father. I haven't decided on where all of them are yet, but I did mention once in my replies that Azul! Yutu is in Savanaclaw. I did not mention that he did intend to transfer but couldn't when he accidentally became the Dorm Leader because he got tired of being mouthed off to and knocked someone out. I have an ask about Cater! Yutu I'm working on but I'll add him here as having been put into Octavinelle, and I think I want to put Kalim! Yutu into Pomefiore but I need to cook more...

[arjudy224]

Tea Time with Alfred

Context: Alfred has always been a close family friend of your Grandma. After her death both of you haven't been dealing with the grief very well, so you decide to start hanging out more to ease the pain. (Y/G/N: your grandma’s name)

Knocking on the door to Wayne Manor, I fumble with the basket of muffins in my left hand. A very confused Jason opens the door.

"Look Y/N..." He begins awkwardly shifting his balance. Guilt spreads across his sculpted features.

"With love, I'm not here for you." I interrupt putting my hand up to silence him, "Whatever you have to say, save it for another time."

Brushing past him, I wander down the hallway past a dozen or so portraits of the Wayne family. With the high ceilings and shelves filled with books older than my great Grandma, I narrowly get lost in the grandeur. One of the glass shelves catches my attention. A much younger looking Alfred beams up at me while a soaked brunette angrily swats at his shoulder with a shoe. My heart contracts when I recognize the woman. Years before she got sick, Y/G/N was radiant. Although the photo is in black and white, I know for certain she is wearing her faithful orange sweater that was in rags by the time I came around. The photo reads: Alfred's revenge London 1965. My eyes well up with tears at the thought of her being so healthy. The image of how frail she looked in that hospice bed will forever be burned in my heart.

The next photo over shows Alfred, Grandma, and I at my first visit to Gotham. Freshly nine, Gotham was such an adventure. Driving into the city was... nothing short of magical. There may have been crime in every corner, but her stories brought much needed light into the city. My 9 year old self hadn't yet grown into herself. With cracked glasses I had broken moments prior and aggressively neon braces, my fashion had a long way to go. I was probably too big to go on Alfred's shoulders at that point, but he picked me up anyway for the walk around the city. The crowded boardwalk behind us sold the best deep fried oreos in Gotham city. A teenager at the time, Dick had convinced me that the secret ingredient was cocaine... As an adult looking at Gotham city, that joke may not be too far off.

The infamous smell of Alfred's baking grounds me to the present. Dickie isn't stealing my gameboy anymore. He's happily living in Bludhaven revamping their police force. Shit, I really need to call him back. How do you tell someone that if you talk about it there is no guarantee that the crying will ever stop?

It doesn't matter what he’s been saying. It's better to not burden him with this. I take a deep breath to avoid a breakdown. Cookies. Tea time. Glancing at my watch, I realize I'm five minutes late. Classic y/n.

Alfred's back is to me when I finally stumble into the kitchen. A mischievous grin emerges on my face as I creep closer making a conscious effort to silence my footsteps. Jason used to say that watching the two of us sneak up on each other was like watching a cheetah stalking its prey. Of course, Alfred always made it look so easy though. Halfway there....

Stirring a bowl of brownie batter by hand, he calls out to me.

"You've got to do a lot better than that if you want to sneak up on me."

I stifle a laugh throwing my hands up in surrender.

"Sorry Alfie.... Old habits die hard. You would not believe what happened to me today..."

Conversing with the older man fills a void, I have been missing. Telling him about life made everything less scary. If I can spin these horrifying events into a joke during tea time.. well I guess I can survive it.

Alfred isn't one to diverge intense grief, yet I will never forget how heartbroken he was when he explained how painful it was to talk to me. Although our features may be completely different, it was the mannerisms that hurt the most to see: the way I held my hands when I was nervous, the anxious laughter in stressful situations, the silly regency romance novels that sat on my bedside table, the intense hatred of the barren winter... My entire being has been shrouded by her love. For better or worse.

The first couple months, I could almost pretend she wasn't gone. Working two jobs while attending school doesn't give me much time to reflect. However, the holidays left an unspoken hollow void. The empty seat at dinner. The contact I would instinctively dial. The horrible sinking in my chest when I remembered the phone would ring forever.

At the beginning, I think we both pretended we were talking to her. Now as I cackle over his photo collection of Tim falling asleep in public places, I realize how much I love the man who was so important to her. This pain may always stay with me, but what is grief if not love persevering?

[captjprice]

maybe we can get some smut for valeria x fem bratty reader??

ur writing is great!!! hope u have a great day too 🥰

Valeria Garza x Brat!FemReader

a/n: yesyesyes!!!! i love valeria but i was scared she wouldnt get much attention if i wrote for her 😭😭 thank you for the support and compliments, i hope u have a lovely day too 🥹

mentions: smut, fingering, domvaleria, subreader, femreader, valeria's kinda mean, the spanish is not amazing i'm sorry, reader discovers she likes women, tesoro = treasure, valeria is for the girls ONLY

If there was one thing Valeria was good at, it was making you question everything. She had a way of working and talking that you needed to get used to. You hadn't planned to become her right hand— Definently not.

You were skilled, for sure. It's what she saw in you first, before your body, or your pretty face. That fire that ignited in you once you got into battle, you did it with passion, almost love for the job.

You were one of very few people she tolerated, and could even call a friend. Due to your skills both in combat and lightening Valeria's mood after a mission, she asked— No, demanded you be her right-hand. You accepted the offer, not minding spending some more time around her. She was your friend, after all. Yet you couldn't shake that extra, nagging feeling whenever you saw her. First you thought it was just the way you admired her, but it stirred something unfamiliar in your stomach.

It's how you find yourself now, in her small office, on a chair while she's working on paperwork.

You shift in your seat as you think it all over, it's not like you're in love with her, right? She's a woman. You're straight. But she makes you feel weird. You've been staring at the ground for so long now, it makes Valeria speak up. "Mm, bella, something bothering you?" She asks, gaze still focused on her papers. "Oh," You look back up at her, clearing your throat. "No, sorry. Just daydreaming. Nothing to do here." Valeria lets out an airy chuckle in response to what you say.

"You're eye candy, how about that?" She muses with a small smirk, giving you a quick glance and a wink. It's moments like those that make your cheeks flush and your thighs press together, and you doubt your feelings. You've never looked at a woman before and felt this, let alone felt it this much. But you remind yourself that it's probably just a playful feeling, it means nothing. And even if it was real, it wasn't like Valeria'd feel the same. She's so much... better. You're out of her league.

You shake your head slightly to try and get rid of those thoughts. You don't like women, so why would you care anyway? You're snapped out of your thoughts when Valeria mutters a curse.

"¿Por qué nada puede salir bien en este maldito lugar?!" She hisses, moving her chair back as her water spilled all over her shirt. Your eyes widen, and you stifle a laugh as you stand and go to retrieve a towel to clean it up. You're laughing by the time you get back, gently cleaning up her desk. "This is not funny, bella." She grumbles, and you can't help but nod along sarcastically. "Oh, no, Valeria. It definitely is not." You tease, leaning forward to pat the towel on her shirt. You don't think too much of it as you pat her chest, trying to get most of the water out. It's when you can feel Valeria's gaze boring into that you realize how inappropriate it is. Your hand rests on her breast for a moment as you look up at her in confusion, then quickly pull your hand back. "Oh, oh, shit— I wasn't trying to-.." You stammer. Valeria's gaze is knowing, and she smiles slightly. "It's alright. Any other would have their hand cut off." She says lowly, giving a small hand gesture. "Go on." You stare for a moment, feeling your cheeks heat up. No doubt you're red. She can't be serious?..

Fuck it, you think. It means nothing. You gently continue to dab the towel on her shirt, from her chest to her stomach. Valeria just watches with an amused expression. You feel like your emotions are on overdrive— Why has she got you blushing and stumbling over your own words? Damn it. Her gaze follows you as you toss the towel away. "I can tell you're thinking about something." She says as you make your way back to her. "That's why I have a brain, no?" You reply, frustrated with yourself. Valeria raises a brow at your attitude, reaching out to grab your wrist. "Tell me what's on your mind, Tesoro." You don't reply as she pulls you a little closer, sliding her hand to your hip instead. Valeria looks up at you, and gives you a squeeze. "What is it, hm? Did I make you uncomfortable?" She asks, seeming worried about actually having done something wrong. You shake your head, because despite your internal confusion you aren't uncomfortable. It felt good to touch her like that. She makes everything feel so good, even when it shouldn't even make you bat an eye.

You roll your eyes when she squeezes your waist again. "It's not important." You mutter, looking down at Valeria. God, her eyes, those lips..

She catches your gaze flickering to her lips and her mouth twitches. Valeria seems to catch up now. So that's why you squirm and blush under her gaze all the time.. "It is important when it comes to you, Hermosa." She says softly, "It's okay to feel what you're feeling, you know?" Valeria continues, and it makes you scowl. She's too observant. You try to ignore her, and go back to your seat in front of her desk but she just pulls you back again. "Why are you so hesitant, hm? Think you'll like it too much?" Valeria teases, moving her face closer to press a kiss against your side. Your breath hitches in your throat, but you don't move away. "It's okay," She cooes, lifting your shirt just a little to place another chaste kiss to your waist. You take in another sharp breath. Your hand gently leans down to caress her hair, and just before she plants another kiss to your skin you push her away.

Valeria makes a confused noise, glancing up at you. You're staring at her with hazy eyes, your lips slightly parted. Oh, you want to play hard to get?

In a quick movement she grabs you and shoves you against her office desk. "You really want to be like this, Hermosa?" She asks, grabbing both of your arms to pin your wrists to your back as you stand with your front against the desk. "Want to play pretend?" She whispers, using one to hold your wrists together and the others to push your hair aside, pressing her lips against your neck. You whine in response, trying to move your hands. "No, no touching. You want to play hard to get, so we'll do just that." She says lowly. "Have you been thinking about me all this time?" Her words make you shiver, and you squirm. "You wish," You reply, and Valeria snickers, landing a smack to your ass. You whimper, your back arching and pressing into her crotch. "Right.. Sure you haven't." She muses, tangling her hand in your hair again. "Dirty woman, thinking about your boss, hm? I'll teach you to behave." Valeria's hand lets go of your wrists, and she grins when you keep them there obediently. She tugs at your hair harsh enough for you to move back, your head resting on her shoulder. "You want this?" She asks, staring at your lips to wait for your reply. Which doesn't come. Valeria gives another yank at your hair, and you give a quick nod. "Speak." She hisses, her hand trailing to the button of your jeans, undoing it agonisingly slow. "Y-..Yes." You whisper, cheeks burning. "Yes, what?" She grunts, and you stay quiet again. Do you really need to beg?..

"If you want this, beg for it." She huffs, her fingertips trailing along the hem of your panties. You look to the side, gazing up at Valeria. In a desperate attempt to kiss her you move forward.

A kiss first? Valeria decides to indulge, leaning forward to press her lips against yours. It's a little sloppy due to the position you're in, but you both don't mind. Valeria groans into the kiss, her grip on your hair loosening. "Please," You whimper between kisses, greedily tasting her. "Please, I want to feel you." Valeria grins into the kiss, pulling back. "You make such a good slut. Begging for me like that." Her fingers trail down, ghosting over your folds for just a moment before letting her finger brush your clit. "A-.. Ahh," Your hands move behind you, holding onto Valeria wherever you can. Valeria moves her hand, slipping one finger into you as you jolt and lean back. "Shh, Hermosa. Be good for me." She whispers softly, pumping in and out slowly to let you relish in it for a moment. You breathe out, letting your eyes close and your head fall back.

After a few seconds, she adds a second finger, speeding up a little to see your reaction. You whine, squeezing her arm in response. "Mierda, you're wet. Is this what you were daydreaming about?" The sounds coming from your pussy are obscene, and you're grateful the walls are thick. Your sounds become increasingly louder. You pant, trying to say something but it only comes out as an incoherent babble.

Valeria places her mouth onto your neck, sucking a hickey into your soft skin. It combines so deliciously with the sensation of her fingers pumping inside you, and you can feel the warmth in your stomach build. "Nnhm.. Val..-" You croak, turning to look at her. "Mmh, are you close, hermosa?" She asks, even though she knows the answer. You give a weak nod.

It seems Valeria has other plans. "Hold out a little longer for me," She whispers huskily, to which you shake your head. With the speed she was going, it wouldn't take long. "Just a little while more, otherwise i'll make you cum until sunrise." She promises, slowing down a little. You can't help it though, not when she starts to kiss along your neck again. You arch your back, moving along with her speed and with a loud moan, you come undone on her hand, and you're positive you're on another planet.

Your knees buckle, but Valeria steadies you, looking at you with an amused expression. You're panting. "Is it that hard to listen? You heard what I said, no?" Valeria asks, pumping through your orgasm as she holds you up. When she's done, she takes her hand out of your pants and shoves her fingers into your mouth, letting you taste yourself. "Until sunrise," She repeats, watching you lick her fingers clean with hazy eyes.

It'd be a long evening, you realized as she set you down on the desk and unzipped your jeans.

[changetyre]

Not like this (P4) II Charles Leclerc x Reader (Mafia AU)

SUMMARY: After losing everything you seek out your biggest and longest-standing enemy to finish it all.

WARNING: Violence, blood, mentions of death

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates but I have both been super busy and uninspired so bear with me, please. Also ideas/inspo for this series would be greatly appreciated.

You rolled your eyes and attempted to keep your tears at bay again. "I need someone to help me avenge their deaths, I obviously couldn't and can't anymore but maybe you can."

"And what makes you think I'd help you?" Charles asked

A smirk glazed your lips "Haven't you already?"

It was Charles's turn to roll his eyes as he ignored your question and continued running forward.

"Do you think someone's watching the house?" You asked Charles once you were back in the cars you'd arrived in.

"My men said it looked like there had been people in your office-" Charles didn't answer your question directly.

"Sh*t." You cursed.

"What?" Charles asked confused, his eyes drawn away from the road for a second.

"They're probably looking for me...whoever they are. They know I'm not dead." You concluded more to yourself.

Charles remained silent. You turned to face him and could see in his eyes he was in deep thought.

"Give me one more night...I'll leave first thing in the morning." You looked down, although you needed his help you also knew this whole situation was unfair to him, you sticking around him would only bring trouble.

Charles stayed silent again. This time you weren't sure what to say, you knew he heard you and acknowledged your words but stayed quiet. It was awkward to say the least.

You were pulling up to his house. Charles had yet to say something and you just took his silence as his acceptance. Tonight would be the last night at his place.

"You're staying with me," Charles spoke firmly before you could step out of the car. He didn't look at you and simply looked forward.

"Charles I-"

"It wasn't a question." This time he looked straight at you as he said these words before exiting the car leaving no further room for discussion.

You stayed in the car for a few seconds confused at what had just happened. It didn't make sense.

Charles locked himself in his office for the rest of the evening. You were left with your thoughts and worries. You felt so helpless and useless.

Back in his office, Charles spent a few hours making calls, plans, and mapping things out. He had no idea why he was doing this, he also had no logical reason to give his partners as to why they were helping a rival circle but he called in favors and did what he had to do.

He let out a deep sigh as he finished his last call. He furrowed his brow as he heard rattling from his kitchen, what the hell were you destroying now? he thought to himself.

Walking out he was instantly hit with the smell of cleanliness soon followed by a wonderful smell that made his stomach grumble alerting of how long ago he had eaten, he followed the smell.

"Is that my shirt?" Charles made you jump, your back was facing him as you stirred something on the stove.

"You scared me." You said before looking down at your outfit. "Sorry...I'm fidgety so I cleaned up a bit and had a shower then I realized I didn't have any other clothes so took the liberty to take something from your closet." You revealed.

Charles was confused at what he felt, he should be annoyed, angry maybe...but his heart and mind felt the opposite.

"D'you put any poison in that?" He asked gesturing to the dish you were preparing, deciding not to comment on your previous statement.

"Hmm, although tempting I am still starving and this is too good to waste." You joked grabbing the spoon you were cooking with and bringing it to his mouth.

Charles eyed you suspiciously but gave in. He tasted whatever you had prepared.

"Holy shit" Charles couldn't hold back his admiration. This was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

"Perfect...you should start feeling dizzy soon." You smirked.

Charles eyes snapped to yours in alarm.

You burst out laughing soon after. "That was too easy." You took a taste of your dish yourself immediately easing Charles's worry. "Should've seen your face."

"You're insufferable." Charles rolled his eyes but he couldn't stop the smile on his face.

"Hmm, I know...but you'll grow to love me soon enough Charles Leclerc." You joked turning back around to serve you both a plate.

Charles hung onto your words...why did they frighten him slightly? 

[yanxidarlings]

sorry to bother you but i’m obsessed with your writing style 😭 would you consider writing something where theodore nott and mattheo riddle fight over gender neutral/male reader? <3

YANDERE THEODORE NOTT VS YANDERE MATTHEO RIDDLE

take notes, aspiring requesters, this is what i like to see 💖😩✊ so i still should be prioritising the poll results, but this is way too tempting.

this turned out long as dumbledores beard so i might make a part 2 in the future with more details about the poly yanderationship. i tried out some actual scenes so please be honest if they were shit or not because i only want to embarrass myself once.

• ok, so, to put it shortly; the reader/darling is fucked. like. you couldn't have gotten a worse pair of yanderes. both are some of the worst at sharing (ok i know i say that for everyone, but listen). yet, it's not completely off the table.

• once they hop of their high horse and decide to come to an agreement, that's when the darling should be scared. two yandere's fighting is better than them getting along because at least they're distracting each other. and the agreement really only stands until a chance arises for one to eliminate the other. so unless the darling really likes them both, the hostility never ends, there's just a break in between.

to put it not shortly; i like the idea here that they've known each other since childhood, i saw a headcanon somewhere in the depths of wattpad that theo and theo have known each other since they were like 3 so i'm just gonna roll with it.

the darling had never suspected they would harbour such dark thoughts. sure, they once sent each other to st mungos 'play fighting' when they were 9, but that was just them rough housing. okay and there was that one time in 1st year transfiguration when mattheo turned theodore into a raccoon and said he didn't know how to turn him back. oh and that fist fight over who got to take the darling to the yule ball was kind of terrifying, if he hadn't pulled them off each other, they probably would have kept going until the other was dead...

• okay so the darling was getting pretty suspicious over time. not to mention, mattheo is pretty transparent about his actions, and belief that the reader is beholden to him in every way. and theodore makes to effort to hide his intentions of wedding the reader oneday.

• it didn't take long for mattheo and theodore to catch on to each other, especially if they shared a dorm with their darling, but either way, running into each other whilst stalking the reader down the halls and having to awkwardly sit next to each other whilst watching the reader sleep, quickly revealed the others obsession.

• theodore frankly is just offended that mattheo even thinks he's worthy of the reader. it's not official yet but theo is the one that's betrothed to the reader, theo is the one that met the reader first and most importantly, theodore is the darlings friend, not mattheo.

to set the scene, theodore has finally worked up the gall to sneak into the darlings dorm and watch as they sleep, something he'd been itching to do lately; they had been coming to class looking lethargic, eating less at meals, and just seemed out of it lately. he was just going to make sure they were sleeping well, that's all he meant, but when he quietly enters their dorm, none other than mattheo riddle sits on their bed, resting on his palms, creepily staring at theodore's precious darling as they slep.

"what the fuck are you doing" is his initial reaction. he probably shouldn't have said it so loud, as the reader stirred in his sleep. "get off him" he continued, in a whispered yell. the situation escalated pretty quickly, with theodore dragging mattheo off the bed, only to be met with a swift punch to the face.

"mind your own fucking business, nott" mattheo spat, "and get out" gesturing towards the door. if the reader hadn't started to slowly wake up at that moment, this story would have a much simpler ending.

no words were said as they returned to the slytherin dorm. theodore was woken up just hours later with a wand to his neck "if i ever catch you in l/n's dorm again, i'll end you." theodore didn't say anything at that moment, but in no way was he backing down.

• what followed was a series of hostility between the two. before, the threat of the other was only miniscule, because they both planned to whisk their darling away eventually.

• each hosmeade visit would be accompanied by the flanking of the darling, mattheo on the right and theodore on the left, doesn't matter if the reader had other plans, to bad so sad theodore wants to show them a new quill and mattheo has nothing else to do but follow his darling.

• the holidays are a nightmare, mattheo is going to show up unannounced no matter what, only to find theodore already settled in for a sleepover at readers house. the darling is on edge from the passive aggressive remarks, boarding on aggressive aggressive.

• it's impossible for one to pursue any kind of relationship without being intercepted by the other. oh, theodore asked reader out on a date? what a shame the day came by and he ended up in the hospital wing after falling down a flight of stairs. mattheo impromptly kissed reader? theodore's pulling them to him the moment after.

• this goes on kind of indefinately, until something trigger's a change. maybe it's voldemorts return, maybe the darling is injured, or maybe they begin a relationship with someone else. when their darling's safety and exclusivity to them is threatened, the theo's will reluctantly put aside their 'differences'.

• the change in behaviour is unnerving to say the least for the darling, his two slythergremlins suddenly getting along? in what alternate universe-

instead of pulling reader away from studying with theodore, mattheo calmly sat down, swung his legs over readers legs, his feet resting on nott's thigh and lit up a cigarette "you two still go to history of magic? i thought nott was supposed to be a slytherin, and surely you've got better things to do"

mattheo ignored pince scolding him in the distance, but his darling had already snatched the cigarette from his fingers "do you mind" "no". confusing the reader even more, theodore silently leaned behind him and motioned for mattheo to hand him a smoke, using his wand to light it up.

nott went back to studying, whilst the darling just sat there, looking back and forth between the two slytherins. "are- what- ... nevermind" the afternoon continued as usual, aside from the unusual behaviour witnessed.

• it wasn't a one time thing, instead of fighting over who'd partner with the reader in potions, they seemingly took turns. same with hodsmeade visits, and anything they couldn't do at the same time.

• things gradually became less platonic, from calling the reader "pretty boy" and forehead kisses from theodore, to blantant flirting and neck kisses from mattheo, rumours were understandably spreading.

mattheo furrowed his brows as his darling pulled away from his attempted neck kiss "everything good?" he asked, fiddling with strands of the others hair "you know people think we're gay and dating, right?" "aren't we?"

• things are kind of unofficially official, there was no discussion or agreement made between the darling and the theo's, things just escalated to the point everyone at hogwarts knew the reader was involved with nott and riddle in some way.

• it would honestly be sweet, if the reader was a willing participant. it's all fun and games until reader rejects the advances, and questions the possessiveness.

• mattheo will gaslight him whenever he tries to pull away, framing the entire relationship as readers idea. theodore simply scoffs, and tells him he doesn't know what's good for him, that's why you need me. silly darling can barely take care of himself, much less make good decisions, in general and romantically.

"okay then, who would you be with if you could pick? granger? i saw the way you looked at her the other day. god forbid you'd pick malfoy, he's got a golden clad stick up his ass" theodore chuckled, patting his darling on the back "my bed or riddle's tonight?" the smile he was giving his darling was almost taunting, as if to dare him to do something about his situation.