#i've already had two root canals

[acidheaddd]

Had a really bad day today, so thank you guys for the replies, likes, and reblogs. I do appreciate it.

I have a favour to ask as I'm in desperate need of money to fix two of my front teeth before I lose them -- if you are at all interested in tarot, spell bottles, crystals, anything like that, let me know. I do readings, I make bottles on my etsy shop (that I need to restock), and I have loads of crystals to sell.

And if you aren't interested in any of that, but are willing and able to help, you can always send me some donations to my paypal at @Haley999

I'd rather at least send you something in return, but. I'd appreciate any amount. I have a crown I need to get, which I MIGHT be able to get the insurance to cover, but I have two other teeth literally rotting that need to be handled soon or else I'll lose them -- they'll either have to be pulled or they will crumble and fall out as I had happen with another tooth that has since been fixed. Each tooth costs $300, so it'll be $600 total. I'll reblog this with a link to my etsy once I get things restocked.

[arctic-hands]

I'm am BEGGING you if you're chronically ill or disabled or always exhausted or mentally ill, PLEASE do all you can to brush your teeth every day. Switch to disposable sponge brushes if the texture of even soft toothbrushes are sensory hell. Ask someone to help you if you can't move your arms. Keep an ear out for free or visiting dental care if you can't get dental insurance. Do the bare minimum of brushing your teeth, even if you don't have the stamina to floss after or can't tolerate mouthwash. If you can't stick to a routine then brush your teeth as soon as you remember, no matter the time of day. Keep your toothbrush visible in your bathroom so you remember it's there as you wash your hands. Keep a pack of one-time disposable brushes by your bedside if you're too fatigued or depressed to leave your bed or room. Just find SOME WAY to keep your teeth intact.

Once you lose your adult teeth, that's it they're gone forever. I spent almost my entire life too apathetic or too tired to take proper and consistent care of my teeth, and not even counting my infected and impacted wisdom teeth, I've already had one regular tooth completely removed because it was excruciatingly infected and my meager dental coverage wouldn't cover a two THOUSAND dollar root canal, and now I've got a shattered tooth on the other side with crumbling remains that periodically get infected and I'm going to have to have what left of the roots extracted too. And because of my neurological condition and my intestinal diseases necessitating frequent MRIs/MREs, I can't get dental implants because they use metal screws. I'm only thirty-one and at this rate I'm looking at dentures before I'm fifty.

I know the future often seems bleak for people like us so sometimes it feels liberating to not care about the future or take care of ourselves to see it, but the future IS coming, you WILL find a way to stick around for it, and you ARE going to want your teeth as you make it that far and further.

[compassionatereminders]

Mmmm tw right now. Dental/oral care stuff.

Yesterday for the first time in a few years I went to the dentist after living alone and I wanna. Scream.

Long story short I have a fairly significant amount of dental work that needs to be done (due to cavities), I possibly need two new root canals, and a crown I already had needs to be replaced bc the gums around that area are way too sensitive for what should be normal. And like - I'm not thrilled to have to do the dental work part, but I can live with that. I've had fillings and a root canal before.

What I'm scared of is money, and even moreso, my parents reaction (I'm on my dad's insurance despite living out of state). My mom had been badgering me for a year to get it checked out, but for a few reasons (anxiety/avoidance, general life stuff, and not understanding our insurance) I put it off. And I wanna seek comfort but I'm scared if I try I'm just gonna be told off for all of this.

I can't push the blame to anyone else but I still wish I felt comfortable seeking comfort. I'm frustrated and anxious and wish I wasn't scared of my parents reactions.

It's really brave of you to go get it checked out, and I really hate that you might risk getting attacked for doing the right thing and facing the issue just because you struggled to do it for a while. Like it's a GOOD thing that you were able to go now! And I hope everything works out okay ❤️

[th3-0bjectivist]

Dear listener, every year I run a fine-tooth comb over the internet to discover one ‘new’ type of music that is without a doubt… good batshit. I have long maintained that there are two kinds of bat guano in music: good batshit and bad batshit. If it’s passionate, experimental, entertaining, bizarre, and scares the piss out of modern puritans… that’s nutrient-rich good batshit! If it’s totally derivative of other acts, openly preachy, and flat-out boring all while desperately trying to be edgy… that’s a festering pile of bad batshit. This week, I’m going to expose you to music by Machine Girl. Smash play on the track just above, it’s a music video for their song Ginger Claps on their 2014 album Wlfgrl. If it doesn't freak you out too much, join me down below for more!

In 2024, I've been looking for gym jams. Y'know, utterly chaotic music you can listen to at the gym that makes you work out harder and longer than usual!? I happen to work with a group of young guys, and they always have the weirdest music playing in the workstation area. Being an old man compared to the pups, I often laugh or cringe at their screamo, emo violence and metalcore garbage. In just the last fortnight or so, I was passing through the workstation area and heard a very peculiar and strangely attractive sound. It reminded me of a hybrid between Aphex Twin and KMFDM. So, I memorized the band name, showed up at the gym to sample their tracks, and ended up staying on the treadmill for an extra hour as my ear canals climaxed at this fast-paced new sound. Their tunes made my body move, and how! I basically just started listening to this duo from Long Island, NY, so I'm hardly a subject matter expert, but despite my best efforts, I just can’t stop sampling this eery and tasty batshit! I can plainly state I have not heard a single other musical act that sounds exactly like this, and as of this posting I will declare it to be the most chaotic music I’ve ever installed on my blog. But there is an order to this chaos, as it is fundamentally rooted in the structures and schools of punk, digital hardcore, rave and industrial. Talk about a messy emotional ride; in some instances, their individual tunes are like listening to 10-20 soundscapes mashed into one 3-minute track. Apparently, if you listen to their tunes deep enough, you’ll find themes of gender identity, sexuality and a criticism of capitalism. So, if you’re into those themes, have at it! Me!? I'm just here for the extremely crazy breakbeats and the total experimental experience they have to offer. Just below, you’ll find Necro Culture Vulture from their 2020 album The Ugly Art. Especially if you’re a fitness-inspired gym rat like me these days, try this batshit on for size when you’re on the tread, it’ll all suddenly make sense if it hasn’t already!

This year, this is the most creative and inspiring new-to-my ears music I’ve had the good fortune to stumble across. I commend them for their explosive tracks that rapidly ascend into something akin to an epic score right out of a modern AAA video game. It’s music that literally sounds like it was produced by extraterrestrials from another dimension. Fuck-to-the-yeah! Image source: https://www.revolvermag.com/music/machine-girl-alien-music-duo-spitting-blood-mashing-genres-transcending-self

[with-love-from-hell]

Hello all...i hate asking for money but I'm once again coming to yall for community aid because life just...doesn't end its bombarding of shit on top of what I'm already stressed about.

So the delimma im facing now is the state I live in has accused me of insurance fraud and is refusing to cover procedures that I had done like...over a year ago. I got collection notices from my dentist for an emergency root canal last year totaling $3,000 and from an emergency room visit for kidney stones nearly 2 years ago for about $4,600. I can't afford attorney fees to fight this, and I'm trying what I can to reduce the bill. They're essentially stating that if I don't have it paid back in full by May 30th, they are threatening to take me to court. This is something I just...can't deal with. I've funded the money from family to cover most of it, and can basically scrounge up $1,500 with my next paycheck, but this means I am likely going to be set back hard core, and won't be able to afford things like gas and groceries for the next month or two.

Literally anything would help right now. I'm so tired and my anxiety about the situation has gotten so bad that I'm having migraines and nausea every day, while also trying to show up for my clients. If you decide to help support me, going through my KoFi would be best.

Thanks to everyone. Things suck right now, and of course this had to happen 3 weeks before my fucking wedding. I just want life to fucking chill out. 😓

[acepandemi]

Tw: phobias, dentist

I'm currently considering the sheer annoyance that comes with developing a phobia later in life.

Like, I was able to do this Thing for years without issue, and now I suddenly can't anymore? What kind of nonsense is this?

It's the dentist, in my case. For 30 years I had no issue whatsoever going to the dentist, not even a hint of nervousness or apprehension. Which was a good thing, as I have problem teeth (prone to cavities and refusing to grow straight) and needed a LOT of dental work over the years. I've had more cavities filled than I can count, had three different kinds of braces in my early teens (including the external kind, fun times), still have retainers (which have broken twice so far), had a root canal treatment once and even had two of my wisdom teeth removed (I only have/had three and the third refuses to descend, but that also means it doesn't cause issues... yet). No problem at all. Easy peasy lemon sqeezy.

And now I can't even look up some info on my dentist's web page without having the worst panic attack in years? What the flippin' flip?

I've had arachnophobia (fear of spiders) all my life, never really put any thought into it, it was just a part of me. But this, this is something different. It's just happening and getting worse, and yeah there's anxiety and tears and stress.

But it's also just so, so annoying!!! It's just the dentist! The dentist is nice, the dentist is there to help you, going to the dentist has never been a problem ever, and now suddenly it is? This is just stupid!

And the worst part is, it's not even anyones fault. Nobody did anything wrong, The Incident was just sheer dumb luck, but it somehow ruined everything.

(I needed yet another cavity filled about two years ago, and for some reason the anesthetic stopped working mid-procedure. They gave me two more doses, which didn't make any difference, and couldn't give me anymore because, you know, health concerns. But they had to finish the filling, they couldn't send me home with a gaping hole in my tooth. Everyone was so nice and apologetic, but that didn't help because it hurt. So. Bad. I was literally screaming in the chair [think I traumatized a few people in the waiting room that day]. Filling did get finished and I was sent home with so many apologies, and I really don't hold it against the dentist or anyone else, or even dentists in general. But, as is usually the case with me, there was a delayed reaction.)

And now I apparently have a phobia of the dentist. I get tense before my appointments, I've had meltdowns in The Chair because everything about the dentist is now triggering, I've even nearly hit the poor dentist, who is a very nice woman and didn't deserve that. because she startled me with a piece of equipment I was unfamiliar with (she didn't know that, fight or flight response kicked in). Last time the dental hygienist couldn't finish cleaning my teeth because I couldn't take it anymore and had a panic attack. And I've already re-scheduled my latest periodical check-up twice because the thought of going gives me such bad anxiety.

I never used to be like this, and I can't stand it! I wonder if this is how Mum felt after she developed claustrophobia?

(Yes, I know I need to deal with this. I've discussed it with my counselor and we're looking into options. There's apparently a specialized dentist/therapist sort of person at the local hospital that she accompanies another client to that might be able to help. I've already switched dentists when I moved back to my hometown, so that's not the solution.)

I just needed to vent about my annoyance with the situation. I never realized that particular emotion could be involved with developing a phobia.

[kris-mage-fics]

In which I talk about shitty teeth a lot, and complain about how expensive it is to have bad teeth. Also I'm just generally annoyed and in a shit mood. I do try to focus on positives in my life because I so easily spiral down into bad depressions, but I'm not going to pretend this doesn't suck. (It's under the cut since I know talking about teeth problems can be a sensitive topic and don't want to force anyone to read something they don't want to read.)

Guess who has an abscessed tooth? That's right it's me! Well technically I don't know for sure it's abscessed, as I've yet to see a dentist (that's tomorrow). But I've already had a dozen of them in my life, and I've never been wrong about having one. Yes, I've had 12 abscessed teeth, as well as 10 root canals, 8 crowns, 3 pulled*, 1 bridge, and countless fillings. And that's just my adult teeth. Thing is this shit isn't even my fault! I just have crappy teeth with super thin enamel because they all came in when I was really, really young. So I'm in quite a bit of pain, and a shit mood. See this tooth is one of the two teeth anchoring the bridge. Which means I'm fucked because that bridge is going to have to come off to do anything to the tooth. I suppose I at least got 15 or 16 years out of the bridge, I guess the $3,000 I spent on it was worth it. And almost nothing is covered by disability, so I'll have to pay out of pocket for most of whatever I have done. Which sucks. I'm just really frustrated. Like haven't I gone through enough with my teeth? No, I guess not. I'm sick of them hurting and shelling out lots of money to fix them. I'm sick of dentists and endodontists. I'm sick of having to take so many antibiotics and that fucking up my already-not-great digestive system. *sigh* I'm just so tired. Ugh, right now I'm really jealous of my husband's stupid perfect teeth, and the total of three cavities he's had in his entire life. I might be miserable and in pain on and off for a while as I get this dealt with. Don't know yet how I'm going to deal with it, I'll have to talk over my options with the dentist tomorrow. I have an idea of what I want to do, but I don't know how feasible it is. I'd like to scream, but it wouldn't help me feel better, so I'll just be a grump for a while. *Not counting baby teeth pulled or the five wisdom teeth I had pulled. Yes I had five.

[onekisstotakewithme]

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

I mean, obviously (lmao) the answer is "An Idea Whose Time Has Come" (if I can ever finish it. sad!)

And like obviously most of the leads (CJ, Danny, Will) already have been cast by greater casting directors than I, but fancasting a (slightly too old? but that's ok) 11 year old Lindsay Lohan from The Parent Trap as Nora Concannon-Cregg feels correct to me.

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

Yes!!! Yes I do 😂 but I'll just pick, I guess one for the fandoms I've written for the most (not counting NCIS, we just ignore that period in my history thanks!!)

I can't really pick one favourite for M*A*S*H but let's just assume I rotate through my favourites at all times, and that the one I pick is still in higher esteem for me. In this case, it's "happily ever after... and after," namely because I loved writing this one, I felt like it had the clearest possible theme of anything I've ever written, and thus the strongest throughline... plus it's my Ot3 at Disneyland so like. what's not to like?? I just loved asking the question of "okay, they've ridden off into the sunset together, credits roll, happily ever after... but obviously real life doesn't work that way, so what's next?"

Also every time I answer this question for The West Wing, I feel like I give a different answer. Normally I'd say "Caretakers," but I think i said that one last time, so... probably "(Born to be) National Treasures," aka what happened at Larry Posner's primary fundraiser. Featuring, in no particular order, early!CJ and Danny, Danny and Abbey bonding... and CJ taking one unceremonious tumble into the pool.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Hmm...

Danny bringing CJ milkshakes after her root canal in Off the Record?

The two of them actually making out during the copy room seduction (in Coming Back so Strong?)

A lot of my most art-able scenes are from unpublished WIPs 😭

But thank you for these 💜💜

[yorshie]

Hi Yorshie!

(Edit from the future. I'm sorry this is so long)

I'm the same annon who mentioned the Leo and Hawkeye comparison, and I actually really liked and agree with your opinions! I didn't know how to articulate them before, and it's actually been a long minute since I've seen any MASH, but I really loved your analysis of the characters! I absolutely agree 100% that the similarities are on the surface, but once you get down into the meat of their personalities and how they handle conflict (past their masks), they really are very different. I think I initially considered the two very, very, very similar because I have been considering some of the Fandoms more angsty aus of Leo instead of the original version from the cartoon. Either way, thank you so much for writing a whole character analysis just for little o'l me! *happy spin*

I still like the characters and their similarities a lot, and I wonder how they would bounce off each other if they ever did meet? I don't know when or how that would happen, but would they be friends? would their competitive nature's create conflict? friends to enemies over the course of the war? could they even become enemies when all they want is for the fighting to. just. stop?! would they initially bond of their similar mask styles and then later grow resentful when Leo would inevitably rise *giggles* up to the challenge? hmm. I also think there would be a ton of comedy potential in a character pairing like that if you also consider their age gap. Would Pierce find Leo's teen antics amusing and remind him of himself when he was a teen, or would they constantly be at odds because Leo has No Respect for authority?

My parents would leave M*A*S*H on the TV when I was a kid, so I remember seeing the characters all the time, which is how I know anything about it at all. A couple of years ago, I sat down to watch it from the beginning and in order. While I enjoyed it, I got distracted in the middle and never picked it back up, so I wouldn't really be able to call myself much of a fan, I guess. That being said, my favorite character from M*A*S*H has always been B.J. Honeycut! I was a prankster when I was a kid, and I loved that even though he was an adult, B.J. also liked to clown around and be silly. He also really loves his wife and child, and he actively misses them all the time.

(also gives Henry Blake and Trapper John the grinchiest side-eye I can muster)

I'm thrilled you got to see the movie and that you enjoyed it! I love the Rise movie so much that when I had to get my first root canal, I picked it to watch during my appointment to help keep me calm (I had already seen it 5 or 6 times lmaooo) and I actually giggled several times while the dentists were hollowing out my molar (my husband, there for emotional support, couldn't believe it 😅🤣)

Thank you again for sharing your art, time, and energy with us! (Continue to hydrate friend! Many hugs)

Hello Nonnie! Thank you for coming by again! Absolutely don't worry about the length of the ask lol it's all good.

(Side bar before I get into the Leo and Hawkeye talk, at least Trapper had an agreement with his wife. Idk if that agreement included she could do as she pleased while he was away at the war, but he was at least up front about his infidelities.)

I think if Hawkeye and Rise Leonardo were ever to meet, it would be an explosion of many different things at once. First and foremost being, I think it would break Hawkeye a little bit. Let's not forget that Leo would be sixteen at the time of the movie (if that's when they would meet) and I imagine Hawkeye would 1. be insanely angry a kid was risking his life, followed by 2. insanely angry to hear that this kid blames himself for everything bad happening. I think it would be a complete 180 if Hawkeye met Leo when he was older, maybe further into the war, because as much as a wonderful character Hawkeye is I don't think he could be in the same room with the man that "started the war" without busting a vein to is heart and dying on the spot or having a complete mental break. (i know you say you haven't watched the show a lot so I won't spoil specific things but Hawkeye's state of mind is a reoccurring factor)

I think they'd get along personality wise if Hawkeye never found out Leo was "responsible" for the war. And since Hawkeye has no respect for authority himself, I don't think Leo having none would bother him at all. Probably hijinks would ensue though lol, i mean it is Rise after all.

BJ is by far one of the best characters in M*A*S*H. I think my favorite episode with him (that's not heavy) is Dear Siegfried, and I'd recommend it if you haven't seen it yet. The best part about M*A*S*H is how real each character feels, how they each have their own goals and flaws.

Included some M*A*S*H gifs for you hehe

[softlyscreamingintothevoid]

9/3/2024

Last week I got passed over for a promotion at work.

A few weeks back, my work opened a new position in my department and it would be a salary role, paid higher than I am making in my current role. I felt like I matched the job qualifications and description pretty well. I was actually confident in myself and did the long process of updating my resume, writing a cover letter, and filling out the application.

Getting this job would pretty drastically improve my situation. It meant I could afford better housing. It meant actually being able to go back to the dentist to get the root canal and fillings they told me I needed. It meant actually getting to do the procedures needed to see if I have endometriosis that I can't afford right now. It meant being able to own a pet in the future. Even being able to fix or replace my sad, dying car.

I found out the next week that at least one of my coworkers also applied and that immediately shook my confidence since she has seniority and is the lead for one of our work programs. I cried that day when I got home from work because I felt like I had no chance. My wonderful partner tried to convince me that I felt confident for a reason and had the qualifications and experience to run a program like this. I felt better but still was a little nervous.

I had my interview and while the questions were hard, I was proud of my answers and was anxiously awaiting the results.

The next week rolled by and in my one-on-one with my boss I was told they didn't pick me. I got through the rest of the meeting just brushing it off. I've learned to never show your real feelings to others. Nobody would know. I got back to my desk and immediately it just hit me. I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom just crying it out and spent the last two hours of my shift dissociated. I didn't want to feel anymore.

The next two days weren't too bad. But the lead who I think got the promotion had been out sick. I was honestly kind of dreading seeing her and thinking that she probably got it and having to come to terms with it.

Finally today she was back to work and it still hit me that I'm kinda mad about the situation. I just don't feel like she would be any more qualified at the role than I am. We have a team meeting this Friday and I'm sure I'll have to hear about whoever got it that morning and I'm dreading it already.

I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up on this job, but damn does it still suck. I've applied to some other positions recently as well at other companies as a what if and got denied from those as well. This job market sucks.

I'm not even sad anymore. I'm more... Mad? I guess? I'm trying not to be resentful of my job, but I find it so boring and tedious now and I wanted a new role change to shake things up. It's monotonous and it's easy, but I'm so mentally bored all the time.

I also really wanted that extra income. Who doesn't want more money??? I live in a very high cost of living location in the US, so rent is insane even for small 1bed/1/bath.

The cynical part of me thinks they didn't want to replace me in my current role since apparently it was hard to find someone who wanted it in the first place. I also got added onto a new program (against my will) that they probably don't want to replace me in either. But that's probably just my jaded thoughts.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for now. I have a PowerPoint to make at work 🙄

Signed,

A jaded Rose

[gabenvrhappened]

MusicOr… Risk, Us and Close To You by Gracie Abrams

Favorite Lyrics (Risk): God, I'm actually invested ⬩ Haven't even met him ⬩ Watch this be the wrong thing, classic ⬩⬩ Why aren't you here in my bedroom? ⬩ Hopelessly boring without you ⬩ Too soon to tell you I love you;

Favorite Lyrics (Us): I know you know ⬩ It felt like something old ⬩ It felt like something holy, like souls bleeding so, it felt like what I've known ⬩ You're twenty-nine years old, so how can you be cold when I open my home? ⬩⬩ If history's clear, the flames always end up in ashes ⬩ And what seemed like fate, give it ten months, and you'll be past it ⬩ Babylon lovers hanging missed calls on the line ⬩ I gave you mine ⬩ Did you mind? ⬩⬩ Mistaken for strangers ⬩ The way it was, was ⬩ The pain of, the reign of, the flame of us, us ⬩ The outline, well sometimes ⬩ Do you miss us, us? ⬩ The best kind, well sometimes do you miss us?;

Favorite Lyrics (Close To You): I burn for you, and you don't even know my name ⬩ If you asked me to, I'd give up everything to be close to you;

Shakespeare and Company, and its surroundings, have become my favorite spot in Paris. Yesterday I had a meeting with a friend, but when I came to our meeting spot he was still working, so while I was waiting for him, I decided to stroll around the Pantheon because it's Paris and it's me, the person who loves going on aimless walks. While discovering new streets and exploring each new corner and alleyway, I stumbled upon two guys walking, and, as I recently discovered, used my penetrating gaze to let the blond one know I was interested in him.

What followed felt like a movie scene: we passed each other, but we kept looking back. And looking back. Each one in a different direction until we were far enough apart, and I decided to stop. And they stopped too. Because of me? Only God knows, but I hoped he would come back. So I picked up my phone, while cursing myself for lacking the courage to run after him, and checked where I was. To my surprise, the famous Paris bookstore was just within a few minutes' walk, so I rushed to it. Soon enough, I was inside the most beautiful place, falling in love with every detail when my friend called me saying he was outside, so I left and promised myself I would come back to my new house. That's what I did the next day.

Rest easy, Gracie's songs are coming soon to this picture. While inside this portal to another dimension, full of different lives and perspectives, I sat down to read books I read long ago. History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera was one of them. I jumped right to the part where Griffin kissed Jackson, without even thinking twice, because that scene was still marked in my brain. Then I read a bit of Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan and a few pages of an Agatha Christie novel called The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side because, come on, this title is fabulously intriguing. The green couch in a mirrored corner became my roots until the place was about to close, and I decided to move to my next favorite destination: the margins of the Seine. It was pouring outside, and that alone felt so magical, but then my friend called me about the release of Us, a song from Gracie's next album that featured Taylor. The timing couldn't be more perfect: Paris in the rain and a new Taylor/Gracie song. I walked along the canal, the rain now just a brief drizzle, while feeling the song.

From the album, I already knew Risk and Close To You. The first, a song that I discovered together with I Know It Won't Work and Will You Cry?. Back then I was hurt by a guy that I haven't even seen yet, and that I wanted so bad — God knows why (I mean, I know why, his accent) — so I pretended that the song didn't exist because it talks about being in love with someone that's wrong for you so quickly that you just want to risk everything and go for it - something I was definitely holding myself from doing because I know much better now. Then later, Close To You was released, and I was out of that spell, so I could enjoy these two masterpieces and feel like, yes, I would do everything to be close to someone else, even with that not being so much of true since I have my chances, but I decide to flee every time instead of fight.

This day in the Seine, with this new song, wet pavements made of cobblestone, and macarons and two small bottles of wine (a red and a rose), I realized how happy I am here in Paris. Maybe the same amount of happiness I felt when I decided to leave everything behind and start again in London. That happiness, as you may know if you read what I write, was drowned while I was in the United Kingdom, so it feels really good to see it coming back, quietly shy, here in Europe. And I don't even have someone to question if they miss the secrets of us, because it's been a while since I loved someone, but still these types of songs feel so otherworldly. As a premonition of a haunted future.

The feeling is the same as I discover every new centimeter of this new place. Will someone ever miss the secret of me and them? I don't mind relating to the hurt of this song if it meant that I had that something first. I can take risks and I want to be close to someone, but right now it just doesn't feel like the right time. Maybe I'm becoming heartless, but I like to think I'm simply enjoying my freedom.

[sleepingwithinkink2-0]

Dentist adventure/History

Went to the dentist to get a root canal done.

Kinda excited

Kinda nervous

I don't know why I get nervous .. I think it's a cross between anything could go wrong and being in a room with two people I don't know..

But it usually goes smoothly..

I don't know why my brain is wired like that..

Overall it went great..

The guy nice answered all my questions.. which I usually have alot

I'm curious person .

Before the procedure he asked me what kind of music I like, so he could play.. I told him I ll listen to anything.. You pick!

That small gesture meant a lot to me..

I actually like the dentist, in a weird way it's relaxing . Even when I got my wisdom teeth taken out.

I've only had one bad experience and that was because it was my fault for getting the tooth infected, that by far was the worst. I remember I couldn't stop shaking and they won't let me leave till I calm down..Since it was infected there wasn't enough novocaine to subside the pain..

When I was in high school my dad drove me to the dentist and remember on the way home, since my lip was already numb I stabbed a needle in it and asked my dad to stop at Walmart to get a lip ring..

He just laughed and said really Danny

Yeah!!!

-02.21.23

-Danny Sheehan

[msfbgraves]

Konmari day 12: still trying to get out of doing paper

Ah, paper. Now what does she mean by paper, exactly? My papers are pretty much in order, in files and binders. My mum's German, and my German aunt is a notary, they are precise about these things. That's not the issue here.

However, there are a few administrative quirks that are on the one hand very much not urgent and might never actually become a problem. But are also not... quite... completely in working order. And digging that out might take a good weeks of emails, phone calls, follow up handwritten letters with a papal seal and threatening letters from an attorney to get completely sorted. I mean, it took me 8 months to prove to an electrical company here that the boiler that I bought in my appartment was in fact, legally mine and could they please stop trying to blackmail me into paying them money because the previous owner had made an administrative error. And I am on a bit of a deadline here. In a month, I need to move out of my flat for renovations. If I need every potential paperwork issue completely sorted before I am allowed to sort out my hair ties, she severely underestimates the tenacity of Dutch bureaucracy.

Which is not to say I should not try to get to the bottom of these potential legal quirks. So I've decided to make a list of everything that makes me go 'hmmm', deal with pending issues, and shelve the paper. And when it is pretty much all I can do, contact several authorities saying: 'Excuse me, but is this, in fact, quite right?' even if I would rather have a root canal.

Now that the flat is a whole lot tidier already, I am sorry to report that I am not yet, in fact, doing less housework. If you can do everything at once there is no end of things you'd better tackle right now; laundry, ironing, groceries, food preparation and cleanup, machinery, holes in clothes, paperwork, birthday messages, dusting, weird stains on walls, recycling, exercise, doctor visits. Yes all these individual tasks take less time now and the flat looks much nicer while you do it but it never quite stops; especially not when combined with: look at that new old music I found I ought to practice my scales more often. How anyone is supposed to have their life in order is a mystery to me I do not even have kids! (Though maybe the disability workload may count as having kids?) And if you have other people to help you, and you want to be a good client or sometimes even employer, making sure that people can work effectively takes a sincere effort as well; I wonder what everyone is hiding. If you're constantly 'on top' of everyday stuff, can you still hear yourself think? No wonder the summer vacations are such an institution here in Europe. Three weeks away from the endless barage of chores that come with modern life ("Please reinstall a new modem because we don't feel like supporting the one you already have, thanks. Will only take two hours.") The reason I'm venting here is that it all drives me slightly potty.

Other random observations:

It is in fact possible to replace the cocoa capsule of the overpriced cappucino for my coffee maker with regular old cocoa and add the sugar yourself for instant hot chocolate. I still prefer mixing cocoa and milk myself, but I had to buy a new coffee maker as all my guests drink coffee and they had a cappucino option, half of which seemed to be regular powdered milk and they love selling you overpriced things. Sadly, though it is possible to buy the powdered milk separately, that is still hideously overpriced.

At least my guests like the coffee.

Y'all. The wodka I do not want to discard is basically an antiseptic and cleaning solution. I am not really sure that we should be drinking the stuff at all. Yes, alright, due to my balance issues my tolerance for spirits is so low that is has basically the same health effects on me as when I would be chugging Windex, but, eh, James Bond notwithstanding, I'm not quite sure this is a good idea.

I am however quite determined to replace even more commercial cleaning agents with the stuff. I bought it because other people like cleaning with them but they are so toxic that I feel compelled to don a facemask and gloves before cleaning my bathroom. I mean, sure, there is one brand of absolute toxicity that does a better cleaning job than everything else I've tried but I'm ever more convinced that water, vinegar, pure alcohol for glass and mildew, and some form of soda to soap things up are a vastly better idea for 90% of cleaning jobs as you want things to kill germs and not you with it.

Bourbon is a fine thing to cook with. Wodka is going to disinfect scrapes and clean my windows, I am not ingesting that! I mean ffs it kills weeds!

Ah, well. Groceries, late lunch, and then paper.

[bispacecadet]

one of my teeth hurts and I'm suspicious

[none-gender-left-man]

Hi, I hate doing these posts and it's honestly incredibly difficult to bring myself to do so, but I'm probably about to lose my job.

I've been working as a commercial janitor throughout the pandemic, I haven't asked for a single day off, I've worked my ass off, made very minimum mistakes, get few complaints. How much does the spoiled housewife that employs me care?

Well, today my boss has informed me that I maybe should "look for other options", and that "she's paying too many people so she can either cut my hours to [unlivable income] or I can leave completely"

I am autistic, have C-PTSD, DDNOS, I'm physically and neurologically disabled (Ehler's Danlos, Dysautonomia), and I cannot be certain about my job stability if I switch employers. I could be forced to immediately quit a new job if it compromises my needs, or even worse be fired over symptoms. I hate having to make a list of the ways I'm marginalized in order to get some help but if that's what it takes then I guess I'll broadcast.

I am intersex, trans, and live in Lawton Oklahoma, an unsafe city that is heavily divided on income lines and riddled with bigotry and prejudice, many are already homeless here, my rent is incredibly high for a barely livable trailer. I don't want to be homeless, I live with my mother, 15 year old brother, two dogs, and several small animals. We need any help anyone can offer, my mother's income isn't enough to pay our rent and bills. I was supposed to go get a root canal soon and now may not be able to, I just recovered from a tooth infection and I've had tooth infections nearly kill me before, so I'm on alert about that as well. Anything at all helps, I don't ask much. Thank you if you read this.

Please reblog. Ignore my deadname thanks.

[alpha-tequila-uncle]

Making a new post, since the other one's getting long & losing steam

Please boost! If you can't give anything, reblogs help a lot!!

TL;DR my teeth are keeping me from eating, and I've lost a lot of weight from it. I need $50 as soon as possible to get in with a dentist, and $349 for the down payment for aligners

My pypl is @cypresssigh (with 3 Ss), I also do commissions for digital & physical art, sewing, embroidery, jewelry, etc.

More explanation (and examples of my work) under the cut!

My teeth are basically falling apart. I've had a tiny palate my whole life, and teeth crowding has already given me a lot of cavities to fill. I'm bed-bound, and I haven't had enough strength in my arms to brush my teeth daily since middle school. It's also been 2 years since I've seen a dentist, since I had no insurance.

Three teeth now have breaks from the pressure of crowding, two others have fissures from grinding my teeth in my sleep, and one of my front teeth is just slowly eroding away, and now it HURTS if I breathe through my mouth.

Eating is already hard for me, with ARFID and gastroparesis, but with my teeth acting like everything in my mouth is a deadly acid, even air?? I've dropped almost 15lbs. I haven't been able to eat a single full meal in over a week, and they're getting worse fast.

I need at least $50 just to get a dentist to check out how bad it is & give us a quote for getting it livable. I've price checked this dentist via our insurance, so best case scenario $802, worst is $2209. (obviously not expecting to get even close to covering those with this post but 🤷 a bed-bound mfs gotta try)

There's also the matter of how much teeth crowding is adding to the pile. I have a connective tissue disorder (no $$$ to spare for a gene test, could be EDS or Marfan), and because of it I have a very narrow jaw and palate. So my teeth are all crammed together in a super annoying and painful way, where they're almost always shifting (ty hypermobility tysm /s).

All this to say I think it'd really help to straighten & space them out, especially to make it easier to get them fixed & filled. Braces are tedious and wildly expensive (and my insurance doesn't even cover them anyway), so it's at-home clear aligners by a landslide. Cheapest I've been able to find is Byte's all-day aligners, which take a $349 down payment.

So to TL;DR 2, the Squeakuel, it's $50 to get seen and properly diagnosed by the dentist, $349 to start aligners (we'll hopefully be able to take care of the $83 per month on our own).

There's a possible $802-$2209 total for fillings and possible root canals, but let's not dream too big.

Examples of my work-------

Embroidery

Digital art

Jewelry

Physical art