#i've genuinely liked my job up to this point

[theheightofdishonor]

GL Recs Masterlist

I've watched a couple hundred gls now and so I thought i'd put it to good use and help other people find some. There's not enough gl rec lists anyway

First things first, I'll like to direct you to https://mydramalist.com/list/1xrpwdW3 which is a gl rec list on mdl with more than 200+ titles + links. It's an EXCELLENT resource, kept up to date and even tracks upcoming titles.

Now for stuff that I've watched and thought are decent. I'll link all of these to their mdl page and the links to watch the show can usually be found in the comments. If you're new to gl, be warned that a lot of these are pretty short, ranging from 1-30 minutes.

1 in 10,000 (2018) Korea. This is a soulmates piece told in 3 parts following two girls through different parts of their lives. I think this got more confusing as it went on but I really liked Act I and I think it's worth watching. It's beautiful and angsty and a bit artsy. I'm pretty sure it has a happy ending but don't quote me on that.

Afraid of (2019) Korea. A short film about a girl struggling with her sexuality. Yeah, I know, there's a THOUSAND of these but I do like this one. It's beautifully shot and there's a lot of heart.

Am I the only one with butterflies? (2018) Korea. A girl blogs about falling in love with the manager at her new job. I like part ii better than part one but it's just cute and the pining is very similar to het kdramas.

Anonymous high school girl (2022) Korea. A low stakes love triangle. Good chemistry, low budget, awful kisses.

The Beauty of the Law (2023) China- If you're not familar with chinese gls, I think it's certainly something to get used to. This is like in the top 1% of the category. It's an ad for Adolph Shampoo and i'm going to let you know that they're going to appear often on this list because they make excellent gls. It's a historical about a female unlicensed lawyer trying to help a woman escape her abusive marriage. Makes great points about gender imbalances and women's historical lack of legal rights in China. (f you like this one, Sheng Wei, one of the actresses stars in 50%+ of all chinese gls, check her out)

Beguine (2018) Thailand - It's if the school dancing scene in My School President was a 30 minute sequence with two girls. No plot but adorable.

Cat in the eastern palace (2020) China - Watch this just to have the surreal experience of seeing like 3 whole cdrama arcs which normally take 20ish eps executed in a 7 minute timeframe. Also because it stars laoji who's in the other 50% of chinese gls. As for plot, it's about a cat spirit and a girl pretending to be the crown prince.

Clasper (2021) Thailand - And they were roommates! I liked the production, the dialogue and the acting was pretty decent.

Couple of Mirrors*** (2021) China- Wait to watch this because it will ruin you for everything else. This is like typical thai bl length, like 12 45~min episodes. It's a historical mystery about a wealthy woman who finds out about her husband's affair with her bff and the photographer she enlists to help her. If you watch one thing out of China, watch this.

Dear My Girlfriend (2021) Korea - A group project ft love triangle. It´s pretty classic. A girl starts dating someone who likes her only to realize she might instead be in love with her best friend. The editing is cute. It's a touch angsty as love triangles are and pretty well done.

Dear Uranus (2021) Taiwan. Another school love triangle. Does feature an adorkable female character, you know a bit awkward, a bit cutesy, if you hate this archetype, ignore this one. Personally I think the chemistry for the lead couple was lacking (genuinely shocking considering taiwan tends to be great at this) but both the love interests are hot and I am not immune to hot women

The Demonic lord and the virtuous cultivator (2021) China - Avoid this if you don't like toxic yuri. I personally love it so this is 10/10 for me. Orphan gets taken in by a benevolent benefactor who turns out to be her parents' killer and eventually....you know what go watch it.

Encore Martha (2021) Taiwan. One of the few gls about older women. A tomboy reunites with her first love. This one's only available on gagaoolala so you'll either need a subscription or sometimes they promote it for free. If you can find it though, it's worth a watch.

Family Plan (2016) Korea. This is a bit of an odd one to describe. The first half is two high school girls who are dating. And then the second half is their relationship as adults where they marry guys and use it to have a kid that they raise as theirs. I liked how this examined how two gay people would go about their relationship in in a world where they can't freely be with each other.

Favorite Girl (2022) Thailand. Very standard plot about a girl suffering from a breakup and her roommate but something about it stuck out to me.

Five steps to accept farewell (2016) Korea. Warning for unhappy ending. This is all pure angst, a 9 minute snapshot into a breakup. I like how it's done and the messiness of the situation.

Fragrance of the first flower (2021) Taiwan. A beautifully shot, beautifully acted, slightly too short show about two ex-lovers reuniting ft. all the angst about living in a homophobic society. It stayed in my head for weeks after I first watched it.

Girls Blood** (2014) Japan. A movie about 4 "girls" in an underground fight club. warnings for rape, trauma, domestic assault. One of the main characters is a trans man. There are sex scenes. It's very queer and I highly recommend.

Girls Love** (2016) China. Pre-censorship China had some very wonderful queer work and one of them was this movie It's about a girl who falls in love with her hot butch roommate ft all the tropes AND we get to see them function in a relationship instead of the movie ending when they get together. Warning for both characters being forcibly outed at the end. (nothing bad really happens to them after though). Also do NOT watch the sequel. If you go to mdl, everyone else will also tell you not to watch the sequel and I foolishly did not listen to those people because I liked these girls so much and I suffered for my mistake.

The Girls on Rela (2016) China. It's an anthology of short, I wouldn't say stories, more like moments, sponsored by a lesbian dating app. Each one's really short but the acting and scripts are all pretty good.

The Girls on Rela Season 2** (2016) China. This is sponsored by the same company but it's a totally different format. It's one long show about two girls cohabiting. Pretty well executed if a bit slow.

Graduation, Present + Propose (2021) Korea. A short about a high school girl giving a graduation present to her crush. What it does it does well. It's pretty.

The Handmaiden (2016) Korea. Historical set movie about a conman and thief girl who plot to steal a heiress’s fortune. I make it sound boring but that's only because it's a pretty popular movie and everything to be said about it has already been said.

Happy to have you here (2021) Thailand. Two friends have a sleepover and figure out their feelings. This is definitely in the top 20% for this trope, even though they rushed just a tad into the kiss.

Hello, spring is coming (2019) Korea. I'll let you read the synopsis for this one. What you need to know is that it's pretty, well acted, has good chemistry and is as brightly colored as a lollipop. It's a bit disorienting, parts of it doesn't make a lot of sense but it's a fun time.

I broke up because of you (2023) Korea- A bartender and their client catches feelings for each other. The dynamic is nice, the kiss less so but it can be forgiven.

I’m her weapon (2022) China- It's kinky, it's angsty, it's 3 minutes long and still fits in a separation arc. I would pay money for an extended version.

Kanojo no Kuchidzuke Kansensuru Libido (2022) Japan - two girls fall in love in a hospital. I like the tone of this one.

The L Bang** (2015) China- Another Rela production. It's a 4 episode comedy about a bunch of lesbians + (1) gay man who live in the same apartment complex. It's got queer friendship, queer acceptance and queer love. It's just wonderful. It feels like 2000s American sitcoms but queer and Chinese.

Led Astray by Love (2022) China- Fairly long for a cgl. A girl gets transported to a manhwa and falls in love with the ruler. Sunshine/grumpy. This baby is 52 minutes long and covers like the same amount of plot as word of honor does in 30 something episodes.

Legend of Yunze (2021) China - A human and a half demon vanquish demons from a village. It has a second season and a special that I haven't watched yet.

The Lost World** [Xia Ye Zhi Dao Feng De Tian] (2023) China - After watching as much cgl as I have, I was shocked to see Laoji in a modern piece. This is a college setting running-into-a-childhood-friend trope. The pacing and chemistry are both pretty good. It's one of my favorites from her.

Love in the Tinder Age** (2019) Korea- A black comedy about a bullied lesbian's failed suicide attempt ft psychics, ghosts and a teacher/student relationship. It's not really a gl because the main character doesn't get a romance BUT it's really fun so you should watch it anyway.

Love of Secret** (2022) Thailand- More of a slice of life than a love story but it's cute and fluffy and the main character very much is in a relationship. The actual plot is about a med student who's hiding both her relationship with her best friend and her dreams to be an idol. I found it positively charming.

Lover’s Concerto** (2002) Korea- Calling this a gl is a stretch. It's more just queer? The girls were most likely in love but they don't end up together and the movie itself doesn't really have a happy ending. I did find it beautiful though.

Mayfly angel (2024) Korea- Classic discovers-feelings-for-bestie-after-a-breakup plot. Warning that this is angsty and they don't end up together. But I found it realistic and I liked that they felt like two real people. Take that how you will.

Miss shen and the woman warlord (2023) China- a woman cross-dresses as another young woman's fiance and they fall in love. Despite how i describe it, there's a decent amount of plot and some political commentary.

More or less than 75 celsius (2019) Korea- A tea master and her supervisor fall in love. It's sparse and short but cute.

My Dear (2021) Thailand. A drunk girl confesses to her friend and luckily for her, it's mutual. It's 5 minutes long but it uses its time well and the acting is nice. It feels a bit like gmmtv's confessions. If you like it, the production company ShakeShoulder makes TONS of gl shorts and i'd recommend checking them out.

No distance left to run  (2022) Hong Kong. a 15 minute short film about how fame causes issues in a pop star's relationship. Unhappy ending. The song's a bop though and it's well done.

Nü er hong** (2023) China. I forgot to mention but this one, the legend of yunze and the lost world are all produced by the same studio. They do a lot of fairly long chinese gls. The story is about these two beings from an alien world who crash land on earth and are hunted. One is a healer and the other is a killer, they're in love, the killer goes insane so her lover kills her. Unbeknownst to them, they're immortal so the killer wakes up with no memories 200 years later. The pacing is better than some of their earlier stuff but it's not quite perfect here yet. It is one of my favorites from the studio though and it ends happily.

Our relationship ended before it began (2022) Korea. A barista falls in love with her manager at a coffee shop ft gender roles, miscommunication and the classic "cool one picks on the nice one to show affection" trope.

Pyramid Game** (2024) Korea. This is more gl adjacent like Devil Judge and Beyond Evil. There is a secondary gl couple that's more explicitly canon though. If you've watched other kdramas about school bullying, this is pretty similar except it's an all-girls school and everyone is so gay. It's got so much heart and is one of my favorite shows of the year.

Really, Lily? (2019) Korea. A 6 minute short about two girls who visit a cafe and beats up two men who were making homophobic remarks about them. It's surprisingly comedic and the coloring is bright to match. Features a pretty decent kiss. Watching it, I wished it was longer but what's there is still good.

Secret of us (2024) Thailand. The only longform thai gl that i've liked enough to finish. It's about an idol who comes back to win over her doctor ex. It falters from ep 6 onwards but until then, the show is really good at showing the emotional thought processes of the characters and the way they construct the story is compelling, even though I don't even like second chance romances.

Shackles (2023) China. Another one from the Chinese shampoo ad. The pairing itself is not my favorite but it's so cool that this is basically a warning against nuclear pollution AND features chinese mythology that's used in the brand's marketing. Like a 3 in 1. It's so interesting.

She Makes My heart flutter (2022) Korea. Baby lesbian finds out her aunt runs a lesbian bar and starts working there. It's so goddamn cute but it has this weird relationship with homophobia where everyone in the show is apparently 100% ok with queerness but a lot of the aunt's actions is so driven by her being a queer person in an unaccepting society. A bit like how Moonlight Chicken deals with Jin and Li Ming's different attitudes towards being queer except they don't dwell on why the aunt is the way she is or what she's been through. Anyways, it's worth a watch.

Sleep with me (2022) Philippines. A 6 episode series about two girls who are disabled in different ways fall in love. One of them can only sleep during the day and the other is in a wheelchair and the show does a pretty decent job at showing how these disabilities affect their lives and their relationship

Soshite, Yuriko wa Hitori ni Natta** (2020) Japan. If you follow me, you may have seen me talk about this show earlier this year because I found it and promptly fell in love. It's not quite gl but Mizuki's actions are all driven by the fact that she's in love with Yuriko. It's queerer than you would expect, less queer than you might want. It's a supernatural-adjacent school horror about a girl who's new school has a weird thing where every year, a girl named Yuriko becomes "Yuriko sama" and rules the school while everyone else in that year with the same name mysteriously dies. Yuriko's best friend Mizuki plots to make the sweet innocent Yuriko the newest Yuriko-sama to save her life. It's weird, there's plot holes everywhere by the end, it definitely vilifies it's gays and the ending is weak but it's such a compelling watch.

Stand-in love (2023) Philippines. 2 best friends have a ‘stand in’ relationship where the straight one helps the lesbian one learn how to court someone but they end up falling in love with each other. Like 20 min long and I love it.

Ti Shen** [The substitute] (2017) Taiwan. The mdl synopsis can describe the plot better than I can but it's a romance between an idol and a normal girl that's split into two parts. The first half is about them meeting in high school, the second is when they reunite later on a movie set where one of them is the other's stunt double. I think the first part could've been a bit longer but it's a great movie.

Transit Girls (2015) Japan. Stepsisters. Happy ending though and it's fairly long. I liked this mostly because I like Japan's moody stuff. I also liked how they handled the male love interest.

Truth or Dare (2022) Korea. A 10 minute short about two girls who like each other playing truth or dare. It does a great job at building tension and revealing things without saying it.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna** (2022) Japan. A woman who loves to cook comes to an arrangement with her neighbor who loves to eat. Japan does food-centered dramas better than everyone else and this is no exception. The romance itself is slow and you watch how their dynamic changes through this and the season two that came out this year.

The Twelve flower gods: Camelia (2020) China. A xianxia romance about a girl falling in love with a flower but it's a minute twenty so I promise you're not watching for the plot. You're watching to witness the ridiculous amount of innuendos that they manage to fit in under two minutes.

Twin souls of destiny (2023) China. Xianxia romance between two elves, one who is made from the memories of the other's past life. I want someone else to watch this so we can discuss whether or not this is selfcest. The color combination is interesting because I very rarely see lovers in red and purple. The time travel is confusing but it's a good time and laoji is in it.

Until Rainbow Dawn** (2018) Japan. Movie about two deaf girls falling in love ft homophobic parents. The director is a deaf lesbian herself so the movie does a wonderful job in how it depicts deafness and their relationship. It's really well done

When the light pours (2022) Korea. A girl's boyfriend wants her to sing him a song so she enrolls in guitar lessons and ends up falling in love with her teacher. The girls don't get together and I really wish they had! So if you watch this, don't watch the ending and pretend that they did end up together.

[asharkapologist]

Fandom Opinion Chart + Explanations Under the Cut

I love Giulietta, it's as simple as that,,, her character growth from her selfish attitude towards her sister before the game, to trying to make her way into high society, to returning to her roots but finding love in a man supposed to be her enemy, to trying to stop the gang war that takes almost everything from her, to later leading a resistance against a dictator is incredible to watch. She's the real main character of Crimson Banks and Capital Peak idc. She endures so so much heartache, I cried both times I played In Love and War, that case genuinely makes me feel ill, and yet she manages to get back up because she's just that strong. I hope she was happy after the game ended.

On the other hand, I despise Jack. He makes several sexist comments throughout the game (I've half a mind to compile them to prove my point), and I have no idea how someone as immature and annoying as him managed to get a job in Interpol. His relationship drama with Asal is insufferable to sit through, and the way he constantly whines about her in South America and North America months after they broke up made me want to throw my phone, especially with the awful way he treats her after she's stabbed and almost died. And then in Travel in Time, he's just boring.

I initially didn't like Samson at first because he killed one of my favorite characters for a stupid reason (accompanied by a confusing message--how was Malcolm supposed to know Archie's death was targeted towards him?) but now I love him because his plan was so dumb and he's fun to meme on and he's REALLY hot.

Nebet is like my favorite main antagonist and it's so sad that she's gone for like two whole districts because even though I saw it coming, her betrayal HURT. Like 99% of s6's writing effort went into her, and she would have been a good antagonist even if she hadn't returned after killing her father, but the fact that she comes back and kills her younger self because she changed in exile makes her such an interesting character. I want to know so much about her, her thoughts while she was working with the team, and especially her epiphanies in exile, how she changed in exile and decided to turn against her parents and their goals. That's incredible fanfic material. She's also incredibly beautiful just LOOK AT HER.

Trevor Finn sucks. Fake af shark "expert" who probably just gave himself that title after watching Jaws but never bothered doing any research about sharks because he just spews misinformation and stereotypes about sharks that aren't true. For some reason, Pacific Bay really hated sharks. But other than that, there's not much else to mention about him, when with Jack I at least have stuff to complain about.

I realllly don't like Rozetta and do NOT think she was redeemed, even if Denise was a greater evil. I feel like people brush over the fact that she was KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING HOMELESS PEOPLE TO DEATH. She abducted who knows how many people and conducted horrific, torturous human experimentation on them that only one person (Zoe) survived, and nothing indicated she felt any remorse for those crimes, she only started fighting against Denise when Denise betrayed her and her friends. And even though Zoe escaped, Rozetta started the chain of events that led to Zoe's death. However, that being said, Rozetta is really, really pretty.

Archie is a millionaire and yet he dresses so drab. Lawson isn't as rich as Archie, and yet he dresses more fancy. Also Archie's collar looks weird and like his tie would be strangling him or something

I don't really talk about Penelope, but she (besides Nebet) is my favorite main character of s6! I relate to her a lot because we both like history and writing. I think we'd get along great talking to each other about story ideas, fangirling about fandoms, and talking about history.

Seamus x Giulietta is my favorite because Giulietta is my favorite character and I'm a sucker for tragic, star-crossed lovers. Got really emotionally attached to them even though I knew they wouldn't have a happy ending. Honorable mentions go to Arthur x Bernadine, Archie x Elisa, and Hope x Gwen.

Speaking of Hope x Gwen, they should have been canon instead of Gwen x Pierce. I hate this ship so much. Hope and Gwen had much more chemistry, and the FIRST DISTRICT in s7 proved why Gwen and Pierce wouldn't work out, and then out of nowhere Pierce shows up??? And gets back with Gwen randomly??? Huh??? And they have a kid??? Why. Hope was RIGHT THERE if you wanted someone to comfort Gwen after her mother's death and the complicated relationship she had with her.

I also don't talk about her as much as I should, but I love Priya! I love her character arc, her relationship with Zander is very sweet and well built up throughout the season, and her being a werewolf made her character arc all the more interesting. She's also just a very genuinely kind person, and I feel like she would have been a really good chemistry tutor when I was struggling with it in school lol

Given how annoyed I get with classmates and coworkers who are poor communicators, I would despise being around someone like Frank who's always late, drinking whenever he can, and who treats his female boss incredibly disrespectfully. Plus he eventually becomes a corrupt police officer and yeah, not a fan of those. Wouldn't want to be around one irl. He certainly needs professional help, but I am not the one to give it.

[duckdotcom]

literally can I just lay down in a hole and fall asleep until I return to the earth as mulch

[butterflieswhisper]

looping echidna beastlife gif from trying to figure out toonboom

[tethrras]

i will be so real i'm so thankful to have a job but the amount i want to grill myself on a bbq has increased like 20% lol

[unusualshrimp]

sorry for not shutting up about caffeine but it's genuinely changing my life

[sailor-aviator]

.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

[doppelnatur]

to a certain degree i don't think there is such a thing as purely internalized and internally directed bias. i don't think directing bias at yourself is morally much better than directing it at others it's just a lot harder to stop. that said, as soon as your self cruelty begins to affect anyone else it's just cruelty. a gay man being homophobic is not any more justifiable than a heterosexual man. then again, maybe this entire way of thinking shows a lack of compassion for myself and is a form of bias.

[trophygony]

an attack to my dignity (<- doesn't have a strong enough computer to play Game)

[myname-isnia]

Violently swinging between still wanting to write that "Kuvira talks Suiren down from her manic cleaning spree" fic and not wanting to just rehash what I've written before/fearing I won't do it justice/genuinely scared of triggering myself again because I sink deeper and deeper with every breakdown

[birdantlers]

A heartfelt and grievously expanded-upon update to this—please, please read the whole thing if you can. reblogs much appreciated.

(DISCLAIMER, for all who are saying reasons like abusive parents/legal stuff/toxic ex/triggering memories/page got deleted/job/stalkers/bullying/[[insert any other shitty life thing]], This is not concerning that—personal safety & health ALWAYS comes first, and is worth more than any media ever could be. This is my biggest reason for defending that autonomy. I would be a hypocrite to say I hadn’t deleted triggering posts of mine or ones that got me in trouble with my family.)

it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it

...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..

Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.

I wanted to attach this video because it condenses my point very well. A TLDR of sorts. Please watch the whole thing, it genuinely changed the entire way I think about art as a concept.

(2nd vid is "Subjectivity in Art")

“The moment your art touches an audience, the ownership shifts in an irreversible way. [They're] not having an art experience with you and your intentions. They're having an art experience with the art object.

“You can't just burn your past; it's not even your past to burn anymore. It's other people's history as well. Whether or not you like it, that art is already bonded to somebody's soul, and if you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it.”

The digital age makes it very easy to distance or detach yourself from the impact your work has—be it art, fanfic, videos, even memes. Online content is as important to people now as any other media, if not more. But it's also by far the easiest, fastest, and most effective form of it to erase from public access. Media so unbelievably important to people and in general. Yes, you—with the 2010s purple sparkle dog speedpaint. I still think about that speedpaint all the time, because it was the first time i learned that you could draw on a computer, and I thought it was cool as hell. I still do.

I do wish there was a stronger culture of preservation and consideration for this, because every time I see people talk about snuffing their stuff because it doesn't personally resonate with them anymore, I just think ...what about all the people it did?

I've seen lots of people saying "get over it, it doesn't even matter," but it fucking does. It does matter. Even if I didn’t make it, even if I don’t have to deal with being the one who made it, even if I'm naturally inclined to be distressed by it—It still matters. And there’s nothing you could ever say to suddenly make it not matter, because there’s nothing you could ever say to make it not matter to me.

Don't devalue the act of creation. Don't dismiss something you made. It's out there, in people's thoughts and hearts and souls, and that is real. Even if you don't know it. Especially if you don't know it. Especially in a world where physical media is being snuffed out, the internet is constantly dying without any physical remains to recover, social isolation is rampant, and simply because independently produced content online is still media.

Fanfiction can hold equal or greater significance to someone as a book, but you can’t unpublish a book. Authors don’t have a button that can vaporize every copy of their work across all time, but fanfiction authors do. I’m not counting people who download fics either—when you buy a book, that transaction is over. But online, you have the power of unending transaction that can be terminated instantly at your will. The process of publishing fanfic vs. publishing a book may be different, but people’s connection to the art is the same intensity.

So yeah. I do get depressed about the Internet being a constant Alexandria, but the times I get the most depressed is when I click someone's page and see that all their work is gone because they're ‘curating a new aesthetic’ for their page or some shit. Or weeding out all the "ugly" art. Or just went on whatever the hell 'thrill deleting' is, because they just get a kick out of it.

Fuck it—yeah! It upsets me! I’m not wrong to say that. I’m saying it!

Under the cut, because it got long as shit! Also don’t worry the ending is way sappier and more ‘beauty of human nature’ vibe so it’s not all doom and gloom lol

What if that was someone's favorite art of that character. What if someone read that 'cringe oneshot' on the worst day of their life. What if that Warriors meme vid is still burned into a college student’s mind despite being gone for 10 years. What if it's actually not just you and the ones and zeros you rent out to the world—secure in knowing the original will always be on your computer for you to do whatever you want with it.

I really, deeply wish there was more of a general awareness of this, because even though social media can be used like a diary, that’s functionally the opposite of what it is. It’s social media. When you post, it’s no longer in a vacuum, even though you can’t see the real humans that content touches—often deeply.

Media is history. You shouldn’t burn that history just because you personally believe it isn’t worth saving.

Because it’s no longer just your personal opinion. It’s no longer just your personal work. it’s. history. Memory of media is not a suitable replacement for the media itself. If it was, we wouldn’t save anything at all. Nostalgia is an agent of that. The definition of nostalgia is grief for moments of the past that are inaccessible, and the biggest balm for that pain is accessing a physical reminder of those moments. That opinion of yours is no longer personal. It’s weighed against uncountable people across all time that your thing is ALSO personal to. People who would, and will mourn its absence.

How many times have you joined an older fandom only to discover that some of its most popular works are gone? How many times have you routed through random blogs looking for scraps people hopefully reblogged? how many times have you used Wayback machine desperately praying that a fan fiction or a YouTube video will be there? How many times do you look up crunchy old vines or YouTube videos or anime AMV‘s? How many times do you remember old fanfic.net sex that impacted you in middle school, only to shake your head and go ‘probably no point even looking.’

i mourn the absence. No, people can’t and shouldn’t have their agency over what they post revoked, but they should be conscious of that weight. If you’re reading this and getting extremely annoyed, and you’re not in the pink text above,,,, good.

I honestly do hope it gets under your skin. I hope it sits with you. I hope you feel it every time you hit that button, and whether or not you do hit that button—if you hesitate, if you remember this, even spitefully, I’ve done my job. I am howling into the void. And I may not want an answer, but I do want my anguish to be heard and remembered. Because it isn’t me just being melodramatic.

I know I sound that way writing so much, but if my favorite writing YouTuber can drop trow this week and go, "yeah, sorry, all my video essays from less than a year ago that you listen to in the car all the time? I'm "rebranding" my content so i deleted them. besides, my personal views don't really agree align with the analyses i did, or the techniques i taught in them anyway. Sorry if some of the literal tens of thousands of you used them, but I don't want to feel shackled to having youtuber "classics" tied to me”

….then i guess I'm just going to have to sound dramatic! That fucking sucks! Hours of work and knowledge gone! This was a new channel too. It’s very likely there’s no archive of any kind, because who would think someone who worked hard enough to write, record, and edit hour-long videos, would just turn around and nuke it all? I definitely didn’t see it coming, but I did just start a new screenwriting class a few weeks ago, so I’ll tell you at least one person is REALLY missing those fucking videos right now. Because a lot of them were about specifically screenwriting, which I know jack shit about. and that specific person’s pace, editing, and style of breaking down information was the best suited style I found that I could focus on and absorb. There’s no replacement for that. No alternative for his individual perspective. his jokes. his opinions.

No, they may not resonate with him now, but in this decision, he’s put up a big middle finger to everyone who might have. And he has like 100k subscribers! Those are confirmed supporters! Imagine how many silent and untethered observers are feeling this loss right now. Imagine how many will not have it in the future.

If he never posted them at all, we wouldn’t know we had it. It wouldn’t be a loss. But we did. We did have it. Until he decided that no, we didn’t, because he just happens to be the one out of millions of individuals holding the button to burn it in a hundredth of a second.

His personal work, the attachment I had to it, and the ways that it helped me are now just ripped away. I am one person out of millions, literal MILLIONS of people who saw and liked this content before it vanished. The soul has been ripped, the access severed, and by CJ’s (and my) definition, the art is functionally dead. Not for the YouTuber or anyone else lucky enough to save a link or download, but everyone else. From this point until the end of time, even if people even two weeks from now don’t know it. Even if someone who stumbles upon his channel today, doesn’t know it.

We only mourn the concept of Alexandria because we had some kind of scope for what was inside. Yes, maybe you got self-conscious and deleted your 12 year old deviant art account. Do you know who else is doing that?? THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of other twenty somethings who ALSO feel self-conscious about their old socials. Art. Fanfic. One direction fan videos. anything.

Suddenly, an unquantifiable amount of information from your age group—an entire age group in 2012, is. gone. And we will NEVER know what’s been erased from that history. We will NEVER know what could have been significant to us ten years from now. Twenty years from now. A hundred years. A thousand.

You could have deleted a fanfic that would have been someone else’s new go-to panic attack distraction tomorrow. You could have deleted a video someone used to laugh at with their friend who died yesterday. When you delete something, you risk tearing a hole in unknowable personal histories.

The Internet isn’t just a big library of Alexandria. It’s a library containing libraries. And those libraries have their own libraries in those libraries have their own as well. libraries inside libraries, inside libraries, ad infinitum. To conceive the amount of destroyed history on the Internet is crushing.

And I just can’t help but I ask myself how in gods name people can choose to contribute to that, instead of reposting everything to trash heap alts titled “hall of shame” or some shit.

You can offload to alts. Put up disclaimers. Make password locked blogs, or dropboxes, or anonymous imgur dumps. Anonymous reuploads. Orphan fics. Make a playlist or linktree of unlisted videos. Cut off the watermarks. Delete all references to it on your main. Make a dedicated unlisted playlist. make a google drive. Make new portfolio sites. Delete any questions you get about it. Change pen names. Pretend it never existed.

Give a heads up.

Something.

But don’t. kill. the media.

The knowledge that our stuff is going to forever be tied to us is a cross we have to bear, but the responsibility that comes with putting it out there in the first place, can’t be ignored.

Anyway. I'm not trying to start conflict. This is not a bash on anyone, nor a call for witch hunts. Or anon hate, or blocks and unfollows or anything of that nature. I'm not wishing ramifications or hate of any kind on anyone who does wants to do any of this.

I'm also not guilt tripping— I am not saying that you should feel bad. I AM saying why it makes me feel bad. That’s not guilting, it’s a dialogue. One I personally feel is long overdue.

It's me yelling into the void: please consider the real people on the other side of the screen before you hit that button. Realize and know that whatever you're about to erase from history could be the most important thing in the world to someone.

Art is an experience. It's why we revisit it. If art and history simply lived in the matter and code of media, we would only need to look at it once. We wouldn’t put things in museums. We wouldn’t build libraries. We wouldn’t look up vine compilations.

If you're able, consider (and I do mean consider, this is not a call to action) not destroying that. And don’t shrug it off as some pretentious asshole venting on Tumblr. You only need to look in the notes and tags to see that it isn’t just me. it’s never just me, or you, or the pixels.

And even if you do shrug it off, then at least recognize that what you make matters. Whatever you think about it, if it’s out there, that's not your discretion anymore. If a tree falls in the woods and even one person is around to see it, it fucking mattered. Because it happened. Don’t mulch your tree rings if you don’t have to. Because if enough people do it, a whole forest is gone. Media is history, no matter whether you think it’s worth putting in a museum, or only has 30 notes.

Thousands of years ago, a child named onfim doodled on his homework. They’re crude, and everyone has the wrong amount of fingers, and they’re also priceless archaeological artifacts recognizable throughout the world.

the only thing separating Onfim’s doodles and your MS paint Pokémon doodles is time. The only thing separating your old MS paint Pokémon doodles from being a priceless artifacts, thousands of years in the future is time. Your creations are already priceless artifacts. No matter what you do, don't ever, ever deny that. It isn’t blowing up your own ass, it’s artistic and anthropological fact.

The mundane and the supposedly unworthy are often the first things lost to time, and that’s why they’re so precious. That’s why artists who were before their time are scorned first only to be celebrated later. Do you think they knew that was going to happen?? What if they nuked it? Many probably did! But now that’s happening exponentially and instantaneously everywhere, WITHOUT the artist having to destroy their only copy—which makes it way easier and more dismissable.

Sometimes, If you’re revolutionary enough, people will make an effort to preserve your work, but recognized and thoroughly recorded work is rare compared to unrecognized and thoroughly recorded work.

Sometimes something is beloved enough that it would be impossible for it not to go down in history, but even then it isnt a guarantee, and it’s rare. But if van Gogh burned all of his paintings in a fit of despair before his death, we would have no van Gogh. Because he wasn’t respected as an artist in his time, but that wasn’t what defined the worth of his art. The people after him did, because his art was still there for them.

If you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it. If you belittle your art, you belittle the very real relationships and emotions and revisitations people have with the media. You defy the inherent worth and weight of a creation. you created. That's effort. It's passion. No matter how flippant or unskilled or worthless you think it is, it matters. Because at the end of the day, you could have chosen to make nothing at all, and you didn't.

•

Muting notifs

[writingouthere]

bestfriendsbrother!Sukuna x pregnant!reader one-shot

summary: you're excited to finally share with all your friends that your pregnant when the party is interrupted by your best friend's older brother, who you didn't invite, but who you did have unprotected sex with less than two months ago.

cw: reader is pregnant, Sukuna is a bad dude, possessive behavior, minor smut, still as usual nicer than it sounds because I can't help it.

**************

"I'm pregnant!"

Your news is met with a period of silence before your friends look at each other, uncertain as to how to react.

Nobara finally breaks the silence, an eyebrow raised. "And we feel...."

"We're happy about it," you say and your friends are then quick to congratulate you. You hear some sort of scuffling happening behind you and you turn around to see Yuuji unfolding a "We're having a Baby!" banner which makes Megumi nearly jump out of his chair.

"Holy shit, did you two-"

"No!"

"Ew, no!"

Yuuji frowns at you. "The 'ew' wasn't necessary."

You and Nobara scoff. "It was," you tell him. "And I say that with all my love."

"Okay, so if this idiot didn't knock you up-"

"Hey!"

"-then who did?"

You'd been expecting the question and had prepared for it. "It was just a one night stand, he's not really father material." Everyone looks like they want to ask more questions so you smile at them, genuinely happy they all look ready to commit a crime for you. "It's okay, I have a good job and this is something I've wanted for a long time. This baby will be really loved because it will have me and, I hope, all of you."

Your friends are quick to agree and there's some lighter questions about potential names, nurseries and Nobara and Todo are looking at her phone debating baby onesies, when the door to you and Yuuji's apartment opens and someone you had definitely not invited comes in.

"Sukuna! You're late, you missed the big news," Yuuji calls out as he walks over and claps his brother on the back. A few people call out greetings as Yuuji's older brother looks around the apartment. His eyes linger on you for a second, a smirk tugging up on his lip before he notices the sign hanging crooked over the kitchen doorway and he laughs without an ounce of humor.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, you knocked someone up? You irresponsible piece of shit-"

"It's not his and don't kill him, you asshole," Megumi says from where he has now joined the onesies discussion and points over at you. "It's the other person who lives here."

Sukuna pauses from where he was about to murder his brother, to look back over at you. You wonder if his brain is doing the same cursed math that you had done when you were hyperventilating, holding a stick covered in your own pee, but before he could ask anything, Maki ended the silent stand off.

"And we're happy about it, so get happy you piece of shit."

With that, the party continues on, people breaking off until little groups and snacks being placed strategically throughout the apartment.

You're feeling thirsty, and a little exhausted from the burning stare that's been directed at you for the past hour when you excuse yourself from where Miwa and Mechamaru had been talking about their own future plans for children, who you're sure would be socially inept but gorgeous enough to make up for it, and made your way to the kitchen.

You were pulling out some water, no alcohol for you even though you really needed it, when you felt someone's presence behind you.

"So when were you going to tell me we were having a baby?"

"Never, because it's not yours," you answered firmly, slamming the door to the fridge for good measure. Sukuna leaned against the cabinet next to you but you'd known him long enough to see the pose for what it was. A ruse, a performance of casualness. The fingers on his hand tapped against his arm like he was playing the piano, one of the few tics he had that showed when he was feeling, well just feeling anything in general.

"Oh please, you're not fucking anyone else."

"You don't know that and we're not fucking, we fucked once. Singular, past tense."

He laughed and looked down at you, the same predatory look he'd had the night he'd helped you make this child.

"And once was all it took huh? Fucked you so good, you're going to have my baby," he says, voice mocking and he stands up to his full height which puts him over you. He takes the glass of water you're really regretting now, and places it on the counter opposite the two of you.

"It-it's not your baby," but you don't sound sure and he knows it and he presses up against you until your back is to the counter. Nowhere for you to run.

"It's mine, just like you're mine. I don't know who you think you're kidding with this denial of me but it's done now, sweetheart."

You go to answer him and Sukuna covers your mouth with his hand like the rude fuck he is and then leans down, his mouth next to your ear. You look around, worried someone might see you but the gap between the fridge and the counter conceals you both and the room next to you keeps getting louder and louder. The sun had set and there were maybe some lamps in the living room, but here in the kitchen it was dark.

"I let you have your space and your time, two months of it actually. I let you have your little moral crisis about fucking a criminal and it being the best dick you've ever had wah wah, but I was impatient before I knew you were having my baby, and now," he leans back so his eyes, and they're on fire his eyes, are level with yours. "I'm done waiting."

You tug on Sukuna's hand and he rolls his eyes before removing it from your mouth and places it on your hip which doesn't seem like a good trade-off but at least you can speak again.

"What does that even mean?" You ask him, your voice showing the incredulity you're feeling but if Sukuna had anything, it was audacity.

"I mean I'll give you a week to tell your friends you're having our baby and that we're getting married." He says it so seriously that you can't help but laugh which seems to be the wrong response when his other hand moves to your hip as well and squeezes, tight.

"We are not getting married, are you out of your mind?"

"Why not, we're already having a baby, are you going to deny me the ability to live with my own child."

"Still not your kid, and we can't get married Sukuna. We never even dated! We fucked one time, that doesn't mean we should just be together forever."

"We fucked for one night, it was more than one time-"

"Not the argument you think it is," you interrupt him but you still let him pick you up and place you on the counter. You sit there while he runs his hands up and down your thighs, the sounds of the party washing over the two of you as you stay in your little bubble.

"We'd be good together," he finally says. "Not just because I knocked you up on the first try." You hit him but he just smirks and moves his hands more purposefully on your legs. You let him pull them apart and step between them even though warning bells are going off in your head, telling you these are moves you'd seen before and they had led to you being in the predicament the two of you were debating in the first place.

"It's inevitable, the two of us. You can say you hate me, or that I'm not a good man, and that's true. But there's a reason why you've never stayed with any of those nice boys," he says and his hands slips up the skirt you're wearing to get at your bare thighs underneath. "Because you don't want a nice guy, you don't want a good man, you want me and I'm too selfish to let you keep torturing both of us by doing this pretending shit."

The fingers on his right hand press against your cunt through your panties while his other hand squeezes your thigh and he moans sinfully into the quiet air.

"God, I knew I didn't make up this warm, wet cunt. Been fucking my fist until I chafed the past two months just thinking about it."

You whimper as he moves your underwear aside and slips one finger up and down your slit, not touching your clit or going where you want him, but doing enough that you move against his hand.

"This does not mean that we should get married," you protest and he teases a finger against your opening, pulling it back when your hips tilt up in an attempt to get him where you want.

"Why not? I heard pregnant women get super horny, what are you going to do without me around to make sure this filthy pussy gets stuffed just the way she needs." He finally slips one finger in, his thumb moving to tease against your clit, just the way you like it and your head smacks back against the cabinet. He moves the hand that had been on your thigh up so he can cradle your head.

"I'm sure I could find someone willing to help me out," you say scoffing and his hand freezes which makes you whine a little and try to get him to move again but his legs limit your range of motion.

"You ever try to fuck someone else ever again and the coroner is going to have to get dental records to figure out who the dumb fuck with no fingers, no eyes and no cock is, you got it?"

He's not joking, you know he's not joking but it doesn't stop you from leaning forward until you finally get your lips on his. He hums into your kiss, cupping your cheek in his free hand while the other one goes back to opening you up. You're so wet that the kitchen fills with the sounds of his him finger fucking your cunt but you can't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. He's not wrong that pregnancy has made you more sensitive, or maybe it's just you not having gotten laid since the two of you had slept together.

He's got three fingers in you when you come and he swallows your moans greedily with mouth while his fingers slow inside of you, curving just right to make you think you could probably come again soon, oversensitive or not.

Before you can test that out, he pulls away from you. He licks the fingers he pulled out of you clean and you you're reminded of how the last time he'd made you come twice just with his mouth.

"Where are you going?" you ask him, a little more breathless than you like.

"We are going home," he tells you, grabbing your hands and helping you down off the counter. Giving you a kiss on your forehead that you would tease him for if you were anyone else.

"Home?" you ask, confused because you are currently standing in your apartment unless his orgasms suddenly give one the power to teleport.

"Yeah, our home, not the shitty apartment you share with my brother. I mean we'll have to get somewhere bigger soon, for our baby."

For the first time since you found out you were pregnant, someone who was not you laid out their palm on your still just the same stomach. There was no change from how it always looked but Sukuna looked smug just the same and you felt like you were still missing a few things.

"What-"

"I mean I can fuck you here, I just thought your sensibilities and the fact your friends were all out there would make you uncomfortable."

Your post orgasm flush finally leaves you and you look up at him in panic. "Oh my god, do you think someone saw-"

"It's okay, Fushiguro kept them out I'm sure."

You don't want to know but ask anyway. "Why?"

"Because he walked in earlier and looked like he'd seen a ghost. Tell me, is the kid still a virgin? He's pretty but I can't imagine he has a lot of good options in your crowd."

When you leave to go to Sukuna's, the only people who don't look confused(or horrified in Yuuji's case) at your departure are Maki and Megumi.

If the confusion hadn't been cleared up by the time the baby came, the pink hair probably answered any follow up questions.

dealing with some writer's block and had this idea. didn't feel like writing a whole smut scene, my b but saving that energy for the next(?) neighborsukuna x singlemom one.

side note: Megumi is scarred for life, for sure. Yuuji gets over his horror once he's an uncle.

[were--ralph]

why exactly do you dislike generative art so much? i know its been misused by some folks, but like, why blame a tool because it gets used by shitty people? Why not just... blame the people who are shitty? I mean this in genuinely good faith, you seem like a pretty nice guy normally, but i guess it just makes me confused how... severe? your reactions are sometimes to it. There's a lot of nuance to conversation about it, and by folks a lot smarter than I (I suggest checking out the Are We Art Yet or "AWAY" group! They've got a lot on their page about the ethical use of Image generation software by individuals, and it really helped explain some things I was confused about). I know on my end, it made me think about why I personally was so reactive about Who was allowed to make art and How/Why. Again, all this in good faith, and I'm not asking you to like, Explain yourself or anything- If you just read this and decide to delete it instead of answering, all good! I just hope maybe you'll look into *why* some people advocate for generative software as strongly as they do, and listen to what they have to say about things -🦜

if Ai genuinely generated its own content I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, however what Ai currently does is scrape other people's art, collect it, and then build something based off of others stolen works without crediting them. It's like. stealing other peoples art, mashing it together, then saying "this is mine i can not only profit of it but i can use it to cut costs in other industries.

this is more evident by people not "making" art but instead using prompts. Its like going to McDonalds and saying "Burger. Big, Juicy, etc, etc" then instead of a worker making the burger it uses an algorithm to build a burger based off of several restaurant's recepies.

example

the left is AI art, the right is one of the artists (Lindong) who it pulled the art style from. it's literally mass producing someone's artstyle by taking their art then using an algorithm to rebuild it in any context. this is even more apparent when you see ai art also tries to recreate artists watermarks and generally blends them together making it unintelligible.

Aside from that theres a lot of other ethical problems with it including generating pretty awful content, including but not limited to cp. It also uses a lot of processing power and apparently water? I haven't caught up on the newer developements i've been depressed about it tbh

Then aside from those, studios are leaning towards Ai generation to replace having to pay people. I've seen professional voice actors complain on twitter that they haven't gotten as much work since ai voice generation started, artists are being cut down and replaced by ai art then having the remaining artists fix any errors in the ai art.

Even beyond those things are the potential for misinformation. Here's an experiment: Which of these two are ai generated?

ready?

These two are both entirely ai generated. I have no idea if they're real people, but in a few months you could ai generate a Biden sex scandal, you could generate politics in whatever situation you want, you can generate popular streamers nude, whatever. and worse yet is ai generated video is already being developed and it doesn't look bad.

I posted on this already but as of right now it only needs one clear frame of a body and it can generate motion. yeah there are issues but it's been like two years since ai development started being taken seriously and we've gotten to this point already. within another two years it'll be close to perfected. There was even tests done with tiktokers and it works. it just fucking works.

There is genuinely not one upside to ai art. at all. it's theft, it's harming peoples lives, its harming the environment, its cutting jobs back and hurting the economy, it's invading peoples privacy, its making pedophilia accessible, and more. it's a plague and there's no vaccine for it. And all because people don't want to take a year to learn anatomy.

[colourmeastonished]

Delighted to announce that I can single-handedly disprove the efficacy of the resilience narrative because after 10 years of hospitality, 7 years of bar work and 25 years of being a woman on this forsaken earth, I got sexually harassed at work last week and now my fight or flight response is Broken 👍

[joelmillerisapunk]

a sweet arrangement

sugardaddy!Joel Miller x f!reader

Masterlist ♡ Sugar Daddy Masterlist

Wordcount: 3,374

Summary: You sign up for a sugar daddy app. What's the worst that could happen?

Warnings: 18+, fingering, oral (both m&f receiving), light bondage, reader might have pullable hair (i dont rememeber if i took it out) quick mentions of slut, baby, sweet baby, sweetheart, darlin

Notes: tysm @saradika-graphics for the dividers. I was cheated on over the weekend, and I wrote this as a "I wish I could be here" instead of being sad." Just another rich!daddy fantasy

You've been feeling financially stretched lately, and after hearing about the concept of sugar daddies and sugar babies from a friend, you decided to give it a try. You sit on your bed and hesitantly create a profile on a popular app, describing yourself as a young, independent woman looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement. As you sit scrolling through, you can't help but feel a sigh of reluctance escape your lips. You never expected to find yourself on a sugar daddy dating app, but life has a way of surprising you sometimes.

After a few moments of looking around the site, a notification pops up. It's a message from a user named "Contractor_Guy."

Curiosity piques, and you open the message, hoping it's not some creepy come-on. To your surprise, it reads:

"Hey there. I don't usually do this sort of thing, but I figured it's worth a shot. My name's Joel. If you're interested in getting to know me, send me a message back."

Feeling intrigued, you reply:

"Hi Joel, I'm not sure what 'this sort of thing' is, but I'm curious now.”

The response comes quickly.

Contractor_Guy: "Haha, 'this sort of thing' is something I usually avoid. But hey, it's a new day, and who knows what it might bring?"

You: Hopefully luck! But seriously, what exactly are you avoiding?"

Contractor_Guy: "Haha, well that's a bit of a long story, darlin.”

You: "Oh, I don't mind a long story. I've got some time to kill. Besides, I find it intriguing that someone like you is on a sugar daddy app.”

Contractor_Guy: "Well, my last experience wasn't the best, and I'm just being cautious this time around.

But, here's the long version. I met a girl a few years back, and at first, things were great. We clicked, and the relationship was mutually beneficial. I was able to provide for her in a way she couldn't for herself, and in return, she was there for me when I needed emotional support. As time went on, she started to change. She became more demanding and less appreciative. It got to the point where she would expect extravagant gifts just for a simple text or phone call. I realized that she was only interested in my money and not in the relationship we'd built."

You: "I'm sorry to hear that. It's not easy to find someone who's genuine and appreciates what you have to offer."

Contractor_Guy: "Yeah, it was a tough lesson to learn, but I'm hoping to find someone different this time. Someone who appreciates the little things, too, not just the material things."

You: "I think that's a fair expectation. We all deserve to be appreciated for more than just our wallets. So, Joel, tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

Contractor_Guy: "I'm a contractor. I do mostly residential construction and home remodeling projects. What about you? What do you do when you're not scrolling through dating apps?”

You: "Lol, I'm usually at work. I'm a graphic designer, so I spend most of my days in front of a computer. It's not the most glamorous job, but I love what I do."

Contractor_Guy: "A graphic designer, huh? That's pretty impressive. I've always been more of a hands-on guy myself. But I must admit, there's something intriguing about a woman in the arts.”

You: "And who doesn't love a man who can wield a hammer and a chainsaw with equal ease?"

Contractor_Guy: "Oh, I'm definitely good with my hands darlin' ;). ”

You: "Maybe one day you'll show me just how good you are with your hands."

As the conversation continues to flow effortlessly, you both exchange numbers and agree to meet for a coffee date tomorrow. Before signing off, you send a playful message with a picture attached

You: "Well, I'm off to begin the countdown to our coffee date. I'll leave you with this little teaser. ;)"

Insert a picture of you posing confidently in a cute outfit, with a mischievous grin on your face.

Contractor_Guy: "Wow, that definitely has me counting down the hours! I can't wait to see you in person."

With that, you end the conversation eagerly anticipating your first in-person meeting with the intriguing contractor.

The two of you meet for the first time at a trendy coffee shop downtown, and you can immediately sense Joel's charm and confidence. You can tell he's done this a time or two. He offers to buy you a drink and pulls out the mattest black credit card you have ever seen to pay with. He guides you to a table in the back corner, and you both engage in light conversation, discussing your interests and goals. Joel is clearly intrigued by you, and you feel a spark of attraction towards him as well.

"So, tell me more about yourself," Joel says, his eyes locked on yours.

"Well, like I said on the app, I'm a freelance graphic designer," you reply, “It's not the most stable job, but I love what I do."

"I can imagine," Joel says, a hint of admiration in his voice. "I've always been a fan of the arts. But I'm sure you understand the struggles of making ends meet as a freelancer. That's why I'm interested in this arrangement."

"I do understand," you agree, your mind already contemplating the potential benefits of such an arrangement. "It would be nice to have some financial stability while still being able to pursue my passion."

"Exactly," Joel says, his tone firm but understanding. "And in return, I'd like you to be my companion when I need someone to spend time with. We can go on dates, attend social events, or just relax at home. I value your company, you're easy on the eyes and brain, and I believe we would make a great team."

"I think that sounds fair," you say, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "I'm looking for something similar - someone who understands my situation and is willing to help me out."

Joel offers to take you to his place for a glass of wine, and as he leads you to his car, the conversation shifts to the details of the arrangement.

"Now that we've established the terms," Joel says, his voice low and serious, "I want to make something clear. I'm going to support you financially in any way you could ever dream of or want, but there's one condition."

"What's that?" You ask, your curiosity piqued.

"I want access to you whenever I please, however I please," Joel says, his eyes meeting yours. "I want to be able to use you for my pleasure whenever I want. Are you comfortable with that?"

Your heart races as you consider his request. You know what he's asking for, and you're not sure if you're ready for that level of intimacy. But at the same time, you can't deny the excitement coursing through your veins.

"I need some time to think about it. This is a big decision."

"Of course," Joel replies, his tone understanding. "Take all the time you need. But remember, this is the condition of our arrangement."

As Joel drives you to his mansion, you can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and trepidation. This is unlike any arrangement you've ever been a part of, and you're not sure what to expect. As you follow Joel upstairs, your heart races in anticipation. He leads you into a large, dimly-lit room, its walls adorned with black velvet and soft, glowing lights. A large bed dominates the center of the room, surrounded by various toys and restraints.

"I want to show you what I mean when I say I want access to you whenever I please.” Joel says, his voice thick with desire.

Joel leads you over to the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. He takes a seat on the edge, patting the space beside him. "Come here, sweetheart," he says, his voice soft and inviting.

You hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to do. But the curiosity and excitement pulsing through you win out, and you find yourself sitting down next to him. Joel's hand reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" he says, his gaze intense.

You feel your entire body get warm at the compliment, your heart racing faster than ever before. "Thank you," you murmur.

Joel's hand begins to trace a path down your arm, sending shivers coursing through your body. "I want to make you feel good, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and husky. "I want to give you pleasure like you've never experienced before."

Your mind is racing as Joel's hand continues to explore your body. You're not sure what to do, but you find yourself leaning into his touch, your body craving more.

"I want to show you something," Joel says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He stands up and walks over to a large wooden chest at the foot of the bed. He opens it, revealing a variety of toys and restraints. Your heart races as you take in the sight. You've never seen anything like this before, and you're not sure what to make of it. Joel walks back over to you, a blindfold in his hand. "I want to show you how good it can feel to let go and trust someone," he says, his voice soft and soothing.

You hesitate for a moment but something about Joel's words and the look in his eyes makes you feel safe, and you find yourself nodding in agreement. He gently places the blindfold over your eyes, cocooning you in darkness. You can feel his hands on you, guiding you back onto the bed. You trust him, and you let yourself relax into the feeling of his touch.

Joel's hands continue to explore your body, tracing patterns and circles that send shivers of pleasure coursing through you. You can feel the bed shift as he leans over you, his breath hot against your ear. "I want to make you feel so good, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice barely above a whisper. Your breath hitches as his hands continue to wander.

Suddenly, you feel something soft and silky against your skin. It's a scarf, and Joel is using it to gently bind your wrists to the bedposts. You gasp at the feeling of being restrained, but the sensation is not unpleasant. Instead, it heightens your senses, making you more aware of every touch and caress.

Joel continues to explore your body, his hands moving lower and lower until they reach the waistband of your pants. He pauses for a moment, waiting for your consent. "May I?" he asks, his voice low and husky. You nod, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He slowly begins to slide your pants down your legs, his hands lingering on your skin as he goes. You can feel the heat of his touch, and you find yourself arching up towards him, wanting more. Finally, your pants are off, and Joel's hands are free to explore your body in earnest. He caresses your thighs, your hips, your stomach, each touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through you.

You can feel yourself growing wet, your body responding to Joel's touch in ways you've never experienced before. You moan softly, your hips bucking up towards him. Joel takes the hint, his fingers finding their way to your wetness. He begins to explore you, his touch gentle but firm. You gasp at the sensation, your body quivering with pleasure. His fingers move in slow, deliberate circles that send shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. You find yourself moaning louder and louder, your hips bucking up towards him as you chase the feeling of release. Finally, you can't take it any longer. You cry out as the orgasm washes over you, your body trembling with pleasure. Joel continues to touch you, his fingers gentle as they bring you down from the peak of pleasure.

Slowly, your breathing returns to normal, and you become aware of your surroundings once again. The blindfold is still over your eyes, and you're still bound to the bed. But you feel safe and content, your body still humming with pleasure. He unties the blindfold, and you blink your eyes against the sudden brightness of the room. He's standing above you, a wicked smile on his face. "Did you like that, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice low and seductive.

"Yes sir," you get out with a hoarse voice.

Joel's gaze travels down your body, taking in the sight of you spread out on his bed, still bound to the bedposts. "Mmm, such a good girl already," he says, his voice full of satisfaction. "I have so much more I want to show you."

He walks over to the wooden chest at the foot of the bed and rummages through it, pulling out a variety of toys and restraints. Joel turns back to you, a pair of handcuffs in his hand. "May I?" he asks, his voice low and seductive.

“You may."

Your heart racies with excitement as Joel cuffs your hands above your head, replacing the soft, luxurious ribbon, and securing you back to the bedpost. You test the restraints, finding that they hold you firmly in place. Your heart is racing with excitement, your body tingling with anticipation. He walks back over to the chest and pulls out a vibrator. He turns it on, the buzzing noise filling the room. You watch as he approaches you. He traces the vibrator over your body, teasing you with each touch. You arch up towards him, wanting more. But Joel is in control, and he takes his time, drawing out the anticipation until you're nearly begging for release."Are you ready for more, darlin’?"

“Yes please,” your breath coming in short gasps.

"Good girl." He traces the vibrator lower, teasing your clit with each pass. You moan, your hips bucking up towards him. But he pulls the vibrator away just as you're about to come.

You whimper in frustration, but Joel just smiles. "Patience, baby, patience," he says.

He continues to tease you, bringing you to the brink of orgasm again and again, but never letting you fully come. You're writhing on the bed, your body begging for release when Joel leans down and whispers in your ear. "Do you trust me, sweetheart?"

You nod, your heart racing. "Yes, I do," you whisper.

Joel smiles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. You moan, your hips bucking up towards him. You're ready for whatever comes next.

Joel breaks the kiss, his eyes locked on yours. "I'm going to take you to the edge, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and seductive. "And then I'm going to bring you back again. And again. And again. Until you can't take it anymore."

Joel's hand moves back to the vibrator, tracing it over your clit once again. This time, he doesn't stop. He continues to tease and pleasure you. Suddenly, Joel pulls the vibrator away once again. You whimper in frustration, but before you can protest, he's replaced it with his mouth. His tongue expertly teases your clit. His hands roam your body as he brings you to the brink of orgasm once again. This time, however, he doesn't stop. He continues to lick and suck at your clit, his fingers entering you and curling against your G-spot as he pushes you over the edge.

You cry out, your body shaking with pleasure as you come hard against his mouth. Joel doesn't stop, his tongue continuing to torture you as you ride out the waves of your orgasm. As you come down from your orgasm, you gasp for breath, your body still trembling with pleasure. Joel's gaze is intense as he watches you, his face flushed with arousal.

"That was so, fucking good," you manage to gasp out, your voice still hoarse from your orgasm.

Joel smiles, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'm glad you thought so," he says, his voice low and seductive. "But I think it's your turn now."

"My turn?" you ask, your eyes wide with curiosity.

"Yes," Joel says, his smile widening. "It's time for you to return the favor.”

You feel a pang of nerves flood your body. “But I'm still all tied up.”

Joel smirks, leaning in. He grabs the hollows of your cheeks, forcing you to look at him, “ I never said you needed to be untied, did I.”

You swallow hard, your mind racing with the implications of his words. Joel releases your cheeks, his gaze traveling down your body. "You're going to make me very happy tonight, sweetheart. Just remember - I want access to you whenever I please, however I please. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," you reply, your voice full of submission.

Joel's smile widens, and he reaches down to unfasten his pants. He steps out of them and his boxers, revealing a hard, thick, ready erection. He climbs onto the bed, his legs straddling your chest. "Now, I want you to take me into your mouth," he says, his voice firm and authoritative.

Your heart is racing as you obey. He brings it up to your lips, and your tongue darts out to lick the tip. You can taste the hint of salt and musk, and you find yourself growing aroused again. You open your mouth wide to accommodate his size. He tastes so good, so intense, and you can't get enough. You begin to move your head, your mouth sliding up and down his shaft. Joel gasps, his hips bucking up towards you.

Suddenly he grabs your hair and holds his cock to the hilt, filing up your entire throat, blocking your airway. You try to gasp for breath as Joel holds you down on his large throbbing cock but it's no use. Your head is swimming with pleasure and arousal, and you're not sure if you can take anymore. Just then Joel releases his grip on your hair, allowing you to breathe again. You take the opportunity to pull away, gasping for air. Joel smirks down at you. "Such a good little slut for daddy already," he says, his voice full of praise. "Daddy wants to see more. Show me how much you want me."

You nod, your heart racing with anticipation as Joel pulls away and undoes your restraints. When he's back on the bed, you take him back into your mouth, your hands roaming his beautiful, full thighs. You begin to suck and lick at his cock, your tongue exploring every inch of him. You can hear Joel growing more aroused, his breaths coming in short gasps.

You feel a hand on the back of your head, guiding you. Joel is thrusting into your mouth, his cock sliding in and out. You moan around him, your hands reaching up to cup his balls. He's tensing, his hips bucking harder with each thrust. Suddenly, he lets out the most primal groan you've ever heard, his cock swells in your mouth. He thrusts into you one more time before coming. You can feel his warm come filling your mouth, and you swallow it down eagerly. Joel groans, his hips stilling as he rides out his orgasm.

You pull away, gasping for air and Joel collapses onto his back, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You can see the satisfaction on his face, and you feel proud of yourself. You've never done anything like that before, and you're not sure how you feel about it. But there's a part of you that's excited, that wants to do it again.

You're both panting heavily, your mind still reeling from the intense experience you've just shared. Joel's gaze is locked on yours, his eyes full of admiration and desire. "You were amazing, sweetheart," he says, his voice a low rumble. "I can't wait to show you more." A wave of excitement washes over you as Joel reaches out and gently strokes your cheek, his fingers lingering against your skin. "I want to make this arrangement work, darlin," he says, his voice soft and earnest. "But I need to know that you're in this for the right reasons."

Your heart races as you consider his words. You know what he's asking, and you're not sure if you're ready for the level of intimacy and commitment this arrangement requires. But at the same time, you can't deny the excitement coursing through your veins, the thrill of being desired and pursued by someone like Joel. You nod, your heart racing with both excitement and trepidation. "I think I'm ready to accept your condition," you say, your voice low and hesitant. "But I need to know that you're in this for the right reasons, too."

Joel's eyes meet yours, his gaze intense and serious. "I promise you, I want nothing more than to care for and support you, both financially and emotionally," he says firmly. "And I expect the same companionship in return."

You take a deep breath, your mind racing with the implications of your decision. But there's a part of you that's eager to explore this new world, to find out what it means to be truly desired and cared for by someone like Joel.

"Okay," you finally say, your voice full of resolution. "I want to make this arrangement work too."

Joel's face breaks into a smile, his eyes filled with relief and joy. He pulls you into a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around you tightly. "Thank you, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice full of gratitude. "I'm going to make sure you never regret this decision."

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