#i've now officially lost my cool tumblr

[ut-versotale]

A Trip Down Nostalgia Lane

This AU's been in existence for so long, and the most current iteration is so wildly different from the rest. As such, I felt it'd be kinda cool to show you guys how the AU's progressed over the years. I don't think it's too big of a problem to reveal what the initial plans were for each iteration, what I liked and didn't like, and my thought process behind forgoing the old ones

If you don't particularly care for all that, here's the iterations' major characters lined up. (Iteration 4 I only have revealed Asriel and Undyne, so the rest I've designed so far are silhouetted)

Iteration 0.5

Oh boy, where to begin with this one...?

I number it "0.5" and not "1" because there were only two parts that never even officially released on this Tumblr blog. I did upload Part 1 for an April Fool's joke a while ago. But really, it was only ever present on the TS!Underswap Discord server over half a decade ago.

To put it bluntly, Versotale at this point was just a reskinned Undertale roleswap AU. The personalities, while I tried to keep them intact, were not the main driving force. As such:

Asriel is a silent protagonist (And not in a cool clever way like Kris; I mean just straight-up silent)

The only difference with Undyne as a narrator was noting that Frisk was a human at the first save point

Flowey had a more formal speech pattern but was otherwise barely affected despite carrying Chara's consciousness. They weren't even named Asthana yet.

Frisk... well, I can give my past self this, he certainly made an effort to differentiate Frisk from Toriel. I can't say he did a GOOD job at that, but they certainly were different. Awkward dialogue, though, and not much sense behind why they were the mayor of the Ruins at 13 years old

Overall, you can 100% tell I made this as a young teen. Awkward dialogue, barely any effort put into the concept, unoriginal...

It's pretty easy to see why I forewent this version of the AU. Only two parts were ever made. I must thank @beethovenus who gave me a lot of very helpful critiques, such as giving Asriel a voice and making original sprites rather than using sprite edits, as well as encouraging me to make this Tumblr blog for it. Thus, brings us to what I'd like to consider the first PROPER attempt at this AU...

Iteration 1

Ah, this one... this ALSO lasted only two parts. Can't remember why. But I made a lot more headway on this one. Quality aside, I am happy that I had the guts to try and make original sprites of my own back then, even if they aren't particularly good compared to now.

This was where I really attempted to make the characters act noticeably different. Though there were still quite a lot of problems, some that would even persist all the way up until Iteration 4.

I wanted to give Asriel a combination of his regular and Flowey personalities. A cool idea on paper, but the lore doesn't support him acting like that well enough. Thus, I refer to this version of him as Sassriel. This was one of those problems that persisted up until Iteration 3.

Undyne having this snarky back-and-forth with Sassriel. Again, cool idea on paper, but it is not supported by her personality in Undertale, nor the altered circumstances in VT Iteration 1. Also, with Undyne being a disembodied consciousness, it means she's merely an observer of the story and not an active participant, meaning her dialogue got very boring very fast. Undyne in canon was always an active character, so putting her in a role that basically FORCED her to be a passive character was maybe one of the worst decisions I could've made that lasted way too long, all the way until Iteration 4.

You'll notice a whole bunch of characters that never actually saw the light of day in the comic. In the bottom row, starting from left to right, there would have been Pepper (Who DID have a design but I've lost it), Donavan, Dr. Aakil, Lily, and Queen Alice. There's not much to say about them story-wise since I mainly just got the designs down, and you can probably guess what the plot was gonna be like given this was the early days of the AU where it was still very much following the Undertale formula. I think the only UNIQUE things I should mention are that Aakil's version of the amalgamates would've been cyborgs.

Iteration 2

This is the one that's lasted the longest (so far), managing to push its way into the Cold West. I tried to break out of the Undertale formula a tiny bit with this one, to varying degrees of success. There's not much history I can recall or find with this iteration, but I suppose I can give a character rundown of the ones you never saw, ironically enough all positioned on the bottom row again.

Donavan... not very unique compared to Undyne. The main gimmick that separated him from her, I think, was that he had gloves designed by Aakil that were soul-powered.

Valencia... a new character who was meant to be an expanded version of Napstablook's role. Fun fact: Valencia's hooded trenchcoat design there was originally Pepper's Iteration 1 design.

Everyone else was... about what you'd expect.

Looking back on this version, I am... honestly very embarrassed by how badly I butchered the Cold West. I wanted to do so many cool things, like a bounty on Asriel's head and all. But my God... Spade and Pepper sucked so much. Especially Pepper. For characters who at this point were meant to be this AU's replacement of Sans and Papyrus... what poor substitutes.

And honestly, I think that's why I scrapped this one; because I hated the Cold West and how I did it. It felt rushed, awkwardly-written, bad characterization, horrifically-bad puzzles, etc. Thus, Iteration 3 was made.

Iteration 3: Hybrid

I nicknamed this short-lived one "Hybrid" for multiple reasons.

It's where Deltarune became an extremely prevalent influence in Versotale's universe. So no longer is Versotale just an Undertale AU, it can also be considered a Deltarune AU as well.

Many characters could be considered hybrids at this point. Asriel and Undyne shared determination and a body. And, more interestingly, the Mettaton role also shared a body with Mettaton. More about that in a bit

When I was making Part 10-B of Iteration 2, Iteration 3 was meant to flow naturally into it, effectively replacing all of what had came beforehand. That never worked out.

Ultimately, I abandoned this version because it just simply wasn't doing it for me. By this point, the project was beginning to feel stale and boring. Despite my attempts to make a new unique storyline, it just kinda... felt like it was still following in Undertale's footsteps far too much. I mean, you've got the protagonist kid, an old fallen member of their species, the double-crossing flower, a mentor who's lived in a secluded area all their life, a chef who wants to join the guard, a tough grizzled guard captain, a morally-dubious scientist, a celebrity, a monarch... you see how I became dislliusioned with the quality of what was supposed to be my "Unique Undertale storyline." The most unique thing at this point WAS probably Spade. But still, many elements of this version of the story were very fleshed-out. I tried to turn Pepper into a character who wasn't just a bargain-bin Papyrus clone, I had come up with a more unique Hotland area, and it probably could've turned out really nice.

I think the thing I genuinely really liked from this old version was that Shella (This iteration's celebrity character) actually was also possessed by Mettaton. There was this huge backstory thing where the scientist character had monster dust and was injecting humans with it, and since Mettaton was a ghost, his consciousness became attached to Shella's and served as her sort of "assistant." He gave her all the tips and confidence to become famous and gave Mettaton the opportunity to indirectly entertain humans like he always wanted. While a cool idea on paper, having... well, essentially Mettaton technically in the same place as canon Undertale again just felt cheap and lazy. Not to mention it only continued my disillusionment with my "unique story" being far too similar to Undertale for comfort.

But the Surface shenanigans this iteration... man, for as weird as Gaster being king was, I had such a cool thing planned for all the Ebottobia characters. It's something I wanna carry over into Iteration 4 to a certain extent.

Iteration 4: "King Asriel"

This one's really freaking cool. Going back to the drawing board completely, the story resembles almost nothing like Undertale's, with the sole exception of the main premise: People underground, free them from imprisonment through peace or violence.

I'm so proud of these ideas so far, you have no idea. The new Ruins area I'm excited for, the new Cold West feels like an actual proper flowing storyline now, the other areas have way more uniqueness, the characters feel like their own characters with their own stories now (Even the ones that appear in canon), the plot feels completely different... I think you all are really going to like it

That's all. Just felt like taking a trip down memory lane and share some ideas and designs the public never got to see.

[quaranmine]

The Incandescence of a Dying Light (Chapter Eight)

July, fireworks, and some insight into someone we don’t actually know much about.

Chapter Eight: 5,436

<< Chapter Seven | Masterpost | Chapter Nine >>

HEY Y'ALL! Those of you who follow me on tumblr have been kept pretty well apprised of this chapter's progress, but it's good to be back. I've struggled with this chapter a lot, not out of any fault of its own, just because real life decided to beat me over the head in July and August.

Anyway, this chapter has a few content warnings.  CW for past injury, car accident, death, and as always…grief. Nothing graphic but it beat me over the head while I was writing it oof.

Finally, as a disclaimer—there is information in this chapter about wildfire survival. I’m not an expert, and some of these topics are quite literally life or death in real life. I’m an entry level environmental scientist whose only professional experience is in topics entirely unrelated to this. While I have done my research on this fic and done my best to always present accurate information, I am not a reliable source. This is a Hermitcraft AU fanfiction. Please do not take or substitute anything I say in place of information from actual professionals, lol.

“I felt like lying down by the side of the trail and remembering it all. The woods do that to you, they always look familiar, long lost, like the face of a long-dead relative, like an old dream, like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water, most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago and the clouds as they pass overhead seem to testify (by their own lonesome familiarity) to this feeling.”

Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

»»———-　　———-««

July 1989

It’s July, and there’s a complete burn ban put in place for Shoshone and the other national parks and national forests that surround it. If you ask Scar, it should have been put into place two weeks ago. The scattered storms and rain in May and early June has done nothing for the landscape now, which is dry and still full of theoretical tinder from years of fire-suppression activities. 

It’s July, and it’s sweltering outside. The main radio chatter during the daily weather conditions report says the temperatures have been record-breaking in the region. This is unsurprising to Grian—his cabin feels like less of a lookout and more of a greenhouse these days, with the inescapable sun taking great advantage of all the windows. He’s not really cut out for the heat of the summer. It makes the days feel listless and blend together, but at least it cools off in the evenings.

The fire season starts to ramp up in other ways too. There’s a fire reported in the Bridger-Teton National Forest, located immediately to their southwest, and officials seem concerned it will grow quickly with the hot, dry temperatures and wind. Elsewhere around the country the picture seems just as bleak: fires in the 1989 season have already burned hundreds of thousands more acres than the same time period in 1988. 

Apparently, the Two Forks lookout had gone unstaffed for several years prior, before the Yellowstone fires last year caused the agency to consider hiring more staff. The fires last year also, coincidentally, increased the budget for this year’s activities.This seems to have been a prudent decision, because the season is shaping up to have a spark indeed. They’re keen to use Grian as much as possible. 

Grian can’t see the smoke column from the Bridger-Teton fire on the horizon; it’s too far away. Instead he starts to notice that his visibility on the horizon is worse now, as the haze in the sky slowly grows. Distant mountains that were once brown and green are now wispy tones of flat yellow and gray. The Trout Fire still burns steadily in the distance. It’s a stubborn nuisance to the Forest personnel, but not a big enough fire yet to garner any worry. There’s more than enough worry to be passed elsewhere.

All of this would be enough on its own, but another contender has just stepped into the ring: Independence Day. 

The 4th of July is on a Tuesday this year, which means Grian and Scar get the wonderful privilege of working overtime all weekend watching the mountains, and holiday pay for the day itself. In all likelihood, people will be just as likely to celebrate on Saturday or Sunday or Monday as on Tuesday. Mary, a lookout in a more northern section of the Forest, has already called in to report a few incidents in her sector. The extra pay is welcomed; the responsibility for idiots is not. 

Fireworks are strictly banned, of course. The acknowledgement of that, however, requires campers to actually care in the first place. They do not. 

And so the month begins. 

»»———-　　———-««

Fire is, both philosophically and literally, one of the most important things humanity has ever been able to harness. It can be the difference between life and death, and yet it is both life and death. Fire fosters warmth and light and power and life. Fire caresses life and leaves behind destruction. 

Shoshone National Forest exists as part of the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem, one of the largest mostly-intact temperate-zone ecosystems in the world. It’s part of a great chain of protected lands and wilderness spaces in the northern Rocky mountains. Shoshone is the second piece of that puzzle—just as Yellowstone National Park was the first national park to be established, the neighboring Shoshone National Forest was the first ever national forest to be designated in the United States.

It is also, like the other lands in the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem, fire-dependent. Plants and animals living in such ecosystems are often adapted to their local fire regime, which is the expected pattern, frequency, and intensity of the fires in their area. 

Lodgepole pines dominate the middle elevations of the Shoshone National Forest, and are the poster child of a fire-dependent species. These trees produce cones that are sealed with a tight resin that relies on fire to melt it. Fire is, therefore, essential to the reproduction of the species. But fire is also essential to their life cycle in another way: just as fire is necessary for the baby trees to sprout, lodgepole pines are very easily killed by fire.

And if the fires kill the weaker Engelmann spruce found in Shoshone’s higher elevations, that’s okay too—it just leaves room for the much more tolerant whitebark pine trees to grow without being outcompeted. Fire similarly benefits wildlife in Shoshone by diversifying the forest understory, encouraging growth of new plants, and providing dead tree snags for shelter. 

It kills, but it also supports life. 

The history of Shoshone National Forest and fire has its bleak moments. In 1937, a lightning strike started the Blackwater Fire in the Absaroka Range, a range of mountains located predominantly in the national forest. Dry weather and high winds turned the fire into one of the deadliest wildland firefighting stories in American history, with 15 firefighters killed and 38 injured. 

Labor laws are written in blood. Safety rules and best management practices are, too. Although no fault was assigned for the tragedy—a rigorous investigation deemed the situation was out of anybody’s control—the Blackwater Fire would ultimately change the landscape of wildland firefighting. It is remembered in the Ten Standard Firefighting Orders, a set of systematic guidelines developed by the US Forest Service afterward to reduce danger for firefighters.

These orders are still in use today. 

So what is a lookout’s role in a wildfire, other than keeping watch for it? Historically fire lookouts were used as firefighters themselves—expected to hop on a horse and head straight to a fire after seeing it, tools in hard—but in modern times lookouts are primarily used for providing updates. A lookout’s job is not complete once a fire is spotted and reported. They are expected to provide constant updates on its size and location, as well as assist firefighters and smokejumpers from their position. This work is very important—so important that sometimes fire lookouts don’t evacuate the scene until a helicopter is required for their rescue. 

And what if you’re a hiker? What if you’re on the ground? The prospects aren't good: hikers should just avoid being caught around a wildfire at all costs. Survival odds are, unfortunately, low. 

But what if you can't avoid it?

Try to determine which way the wind is blowing and remain upwind of the fire. Fires also burn fastest uphill, so seek lower ground. Fires will burn cooler and slower downhill. Try to find a safe spot from the fire, something that would burn less easily such as a rock slide, a large meadow, or a lake. Crown fires burn tall and hot in the tops of trees, so even a meadow will be safer than a forest. Cover your nose and mouth with clothing to protect your airways. Huddle close to any large object that can buffer the ambient heat. Lay face down. Don’t attempt to outrun the fire. 

Sometimes, setting your own fire is an option. Burning out an area large enough for you to lie in can allow the wildfire to move around the already burned spot—but this attempt is best saved for a grassland. Forests take too long to burn. And if the fire is close, and if you can see a safe, already burned spot through it, and if the flames are less than five feet tall, the best option might be to just run through the fire. 

Jumping in water is an option, but that might not save you. Superheated air, smoke inhalation, and lack of oxygen in the area is a primary concern. Fires move faster than most people can imagine. Fires can create their own wind, their own weather.

Fire, above all, should always be respected.

»»———-　　———-««

“Draw something for me,” Scar says suddenly into the still blue air of the dusk. “And, dude, turn your light on already.”

“Huh?” Grian says. He frankly doesn’t mind sitting in the dark while there’s still a little light left in the sky to adjust to, but his hand reaches automatically for the lantern’s switch before he even really processes Scar’s words. With a soft click the cabin is bathed in warm tones. Really, the reflections on the windows only obscure their visibility now that it’s mostly dark, but it’s undeniably more cozy now. 

“Ah, it’s good to see your little light in the way over yonder,” Scar says. “You’re like my little firefly in the mountains!”

Grian rolls his eyes at that. “What did you mean by ‘draw for me’?” he asks, blocking any spontaneous attempts at poetry Scar can make. 

“I mean, I’m bored. And I know you’re bored. It’s been a long day.” He hums a little to himself. “Figured you might wanna do something to pass the time.”

Scar’s right, it has been a long day. It’s the 4th of July, and they’re in it for the long haul. Grian thinks they should have just been allowed to sleep and clock in later in the day—who sets off fireworks at 8 AM?—but the fire season doesn’t rest and neither do they. Now, it’s evening, and this is where the real monitoring begins: after dark. 

Unfortunately, it’s also when the morale to keep sitting at the desk is starting to dip precipitously. Firewatching after dark is difficult and typically something they aren’t required to do. As a lookout, he primarily looks for smoke, not fire. Fires themselves are often too small or too tucked away for their light to be seen, and at night the smoke blends into the dark sky. But fireworks, fortunately, tend to announce themselves gaudily. 

Mostly, it’s the sheer personal resolve to pay attention that takes the greatest hit. Scar’s idea isn’t a bad one, there’s just one significant snag:

“I don’t draw,” Grian reminds him gently.

“But you used to,” Scar persists. 

“I drew houses,” Grian corrects, even though he knows that his drafting is far from the only thing he’s practiced over the years. “For work. It’s not the same.”

“Well, then draw your lookout,” Scar says and then seems to almost cut off his own thought with a—”Ooh, maybe draw mine instead!”

“I can’t do that.”  It’s a black and white statement of fact, but Scar doesn’t agree. 

“C’mon,” he says. “You definitely brought your materials with you, I know it.”

“You don’t have any way of knowing that.”

“You have to have a pencil and a notebook, right? How do you take your notes for the morning reports?” Scar says this in the sort of way where he knows he’s right. He says it playfully, like it’s a silly mistake right under Grian’s nose. 

“Okay, fine,” Grian says, trying to imbue an eye-roll into his words. “I get it.”

He’s not really sure why he picks up the yellow legal pad from the corner of the table, or the pencil in the cup. He tears the top sheet off where he had, in fact, scribbled some notes earlier about temperature and wind speed.

The thing is, Scar can’t even see him. He could lie to Scar and say sure, of course, I’ll do it, and Scar would be none the wiser, miles away on the horizon. 

He picks up the pencil. The notebook stares back, blank except for the faint lines. 

He does try to draw his lookout first, from memory. He thinks of it the way he always does in memory—a snapshot, perfectly clear image his mind took one day. In his mind's eye, the lookout starts to rise over the horizon in the late afternoon sun while he hikes up the hill towards it. He doesn’t have a ruler in the tower, so he carefully uses the spine of one of the old paperbacks as a straight edge to run his pencil against. 

It just…doesn’t look right. First of all, angles are off. He’s messed up the two point perspective somehow and he doesn’t have his usual drafting materials with him anymore. But it’s more than that. The lookout, despite being bathed in golden light in his visual memory, just doesn’t feel inviting. It’s just intimidating. A place where, despite its natural beauty, Grian just sees his worst days play out over and over again. 

He crumbles the paper again and tosses it to the side. He grabs the radio again. 

“Scar, you paint don’t you?” Grian says. “You’re an artist.”

“Well, I guess if you say so,” says Scar slyly, “one could refer to me as a bit of an artist.” 

“Why?”

The bluntness throws Scar. “Huh?”

“Why do you do it?”

“Why am I an artist?”

“Yeah. What made you start?”

Scar is quiet for a long time. Not too long to be worrying, but enough to seem…contemplative. He finally replies, “You know, I always liked it. In school I’d always get recruited to help with posters and stuff ‘cause I was one of the better ones at art, which maybe said more about them than me because I wasn’t an artist then. I didn’t practice. I didn’t know anything.”

There’s another pause, but not as long. Grian doesn’t interrupt. 

“It wasn’t really until after my accident that I started pursuing it more. It was somethin’ to do! And one of the nurses told me it might be meditative. Help me out a little.”

“Did it?” Grian asks softly. 

“I think so,” Scar says, and then with a little bit of a chuckle he adds: “But I don’t think I have to tell you though that sometimes a drawing frustrates you so much you want to throw it across the room! It isn’t all meditation. But I think that’s the point.”

Grian flushes a little. Scar’s comment is truer than he knows; the crumpled evidence of his most recent drawing attempt still sits on the floor by his chair. He reaches for the pencil again, and looks at the page once more. Maybe he will try to draw Scar’s lookout. He won’t tell that to Scar, of course, because he’ll be insufferable about it, but maybe he’ll try. 

Grian doesn’t really know exactly what Scar’s lookout looks like. It’s far away, and he’s looked at it in the binoculars a few times, but the details are always fuzzy and hard to make out; each shake of his hand jolts the image at that level of magnification. And it’s far too dark for him to look again, so—so he improvises. Scar’s cabin is not on a tower like Grian’s is. It's situated on a large piece of rock at the top of a mountain. It doesn’t need to be on a tower, because there’s nothing around it tall enough to block the view, unlike the trees next to his tower. He fills in the details as he remembers, and creates new ones in the place of things he forgot. 

The soft scratch-scratch of the pencil is lost to the noise of the radio again. “I broke my arm pretty badly at the time—needed surgery on that—but it wasn’t my dominant hand so I still painted. I like doing landscapes, mostly,” Scar says. “Pretty things. I grew up in nature. My dad and I went camping a lot. I missed it. I…wanted to do that again. Didn’t know if I would do that again.”

“I would love to see one of your paintings,” Grian says. 

“I don’t really think they’re worth getting excited for,” Scar says, doing a bit of regrettably predictable artist’s humility. “But I’ll mail you one, if you want. Oh! Maybe you’ll even get a little surprise. Jellie likes to help me sign a few pieces, whether I want her to or not…”

The idea of a painting signed with a paw print is so utterly charming to Grian that he almost suggests that Scar should do it with all his paintings as some sort of signature flair. Then it occurs to him that it might be hard to wash a cat’s paws, and starts to ask Scar about what he does—in his cabin in the middle of nowhere with no running water—when a sparkle catches the corner of his eye. 

Grian whips his head around just in time to see the sparks die. “Ugh,” he radios. “I just saw a firework. Super far away though.”

“Well, I was surprised neither of us had seen anything yet. Go ahead and mark the general direction of it even if it’s out of your district. Hopefully if there’s a fire someone else closer will catch it, but you could always check on it in the morning.”

Grian wanders over to the firefinder in the center of the room. Conveniently reminding him of which direction it was, several more fireworks go off in quick succession—golden, blue, red. It’s too dark to take a real reading, so he just points the sight in the general vicinity of the celebrations and takes its azimuth. He’ll spend extra time tomorrow examining this direction. 

As he takes the measurements, a thought drifts into his mind. It’s something about the convergence of this specific job, a job nobody’s ever heard about in a Forest overlooked because of its more popular neighbors, and the wistful quality of Scar’s voice when he spoke about the subjects of his paintings. He found this job advertised in a newspaper. How did Scar find it? Who trained him to do this?

He sits back at the desk, and starts to sketch in the mountains around Scar’s lookout. This, he remembers well. He knows the familiar fold of the hills and peaks like the back of his hand, even after a little more than two months on the job. 

The question circles his mind. 

“Scar,” he says finally. “You know why I came here. To this job. To this National Forest. I’ve…made that really clear, whether I wanted to or not. But I don’t think you’ve ever said why you came.”

“Oh,” Scar says. His voice is quiet. “I guess I haven’t.” 

Grian lays the radio down on the table, giving Scar space to speak. There’s something about the way Scar acknowledged him that sounds like he’s been exposed. One thing Grian has come to learn about him is that he’s a smoothtalker, and an excellent actor. Scar has dramatic flair in spades, and if he really wanted to, he’d spin a captivating tale for Grian about the totally-true events leading up to his place in this forest. It’d be as truthful as his name. 

He doesn’t, though. 

“People come out here for a lot of reasons, but not every person can stick with it. It’s lonely, for sure. And, of course,” he chuckles, “the bugs are pretty bad. I’ll tell you right now, I’ve seen more than a few volunteers and new lookouts suddenly get afraid of the dark when it’s just them and no one else for miles,” Scar says. “But the people who stay tend to fall into two categories.”

“What are they?”

“People who are running from something and people who are looking for something.”

There’s no need to question which category Grian is in. Not when he’s already laid his whole soul open for Scar to pick through and deeply intertwined himself in this mystery. 

There’s only this: “Which one are you?”

“It’s hard to say,” Scar replies. “But I think I was running away.”

And Grian wants to say from what? but he doesn’t. And he wants to be sitting in Scar’s lookout right now, or anywhere but here, but he isn’t. 

He sets the pencil down, temporarily abandoning the drawing he’s been scratching this whole time. He looks straight ahead through the window, but the glare from the lamp on the glass just reflects his own face right back at him. In the shadow where his head is, he can pick out the faint outlines of the hills beyond. 

“You can’t run from yourself though,” Scar says. “‘Cause it just follows you. And being alone with yourself just makes you face it faster. I think my mom was right. She was worried about me. That’s why she made me take Jellie to keep me company.” 

“I think I need to meet this Jellie,” Grian says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. Scar doesn’t typically sound so serious, and it’s a little jarring. “She sounds pretty fantastic.”

“She is, she’s—hey, what about meeting me?”

“Nah, I think I prefer the cat,” he says. Cheeky. 

“Well, I can’t say I don’t agree,” Scar says. He sighs. “I guess I should just talk about it, right? You can ask me whatever you want. ‘Cause the more I ramble, the less I talk about it, and the less I actually answer your question. Which is the fun of rambling! If you say enough words people forget about what you’re distracting them from. Oh, but I don’t know why I’m telling you that. A true salesman never gives up any secrets. I’m only a salesman in the winter, though. What am I selling now? I guess I’m selling myself. Wait—no, not like that, don’t you dare be laughing over there, G-man!”

Grian says nothing, and he isn’t laughing. He just lets Scar’s words fill the space. He doesn’t ask anything else. It feels hypocritical to do so. He’s dying to know everything, of course, but he also knows what it’s like—that looming weight on your neck from the pressure of well-meaning friends who just want to talk when all you want to do is be alone. If Scar has come all the way out here, then he must really have wanted to be alone. 

Scar seems to rattle himself out of it on his own. “I’m stalling again,” he says, voice like lead. “I’ll just start. It’s okay. It’s been 10 years. I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Grian says. “I was just curious. You know all this about me but I didn’t know anything about you. But if it’s a…thing then you don’t have to.”

“No, no,” he says. “It’s fine. I already told you a lot of the story. I just left out some pieces.”

“It’s a slow night,” Grian says. “Only a few fireworks. Plenty of time to talk, if you want…or plenty of time to just watch.”

“I appreciate that,” Scar replies. He takes a deep breath. It’s a funny thing, that. Grian can’t see Scar’s face—he has no idea about anything, even what color hair he has—but he knows the sound of Scar’s breathing. 

“I told you about my accident,” Scar begins. “I told you about how it nearly killed me, about the hospital, about taking up painting. And I told you about the way I’m still in pain, even years later. I don’t think it’s ever going to fully go away. But that wasn’t really the whole truth, or the worst part. The worst part was that I wasn’t the only one in the accident.

“I should have been, though. I was the one driving. I was just running an errand, but I was living with my parents at the time so I asked my dad to come with me to help me pick something out. I don’t even remember what it was. And I don’t remember the accident, either. I only know what they told me. I read the accident report. But there’s a wall of glass between me and what happened. Apparently, we hit some black ice in the road and it spun the car into the other lane. We got hit by a truck. It happened so fast. He didn’t know what was coming either.”

Scar pauses there. Grian tries to take in the story. “I’m sorry,” he says. “That sounds terrifying.”

Scar’s voice breaks on the next line. “The doctor told me my dad was dead when the paramedics arrived. They think he probably died instantly. I don’t remember that, though. I don’t remember anything. I just—I just woke up a week later in the ICU. That’s what I remember. Everything was just so fuzzy and hurt so bad. I could tell something was up but I was too tired. I slept. They waited three days and made my mom break the news.”

“Oh, Scar,” Grian says. “I’m so sorry.” But everyone is sorry. They’re always sorry. It doesn’t do anything. So instead he adds, “You must have been so scared. It must have been confusing.”

“It was ten years ago. I’m fine,” Scar repeats, and Grian doesn’t comment on the way it sounds like a lie. Maybe it isn’t a lie on most days of the week, but it certainly is tonight. Scar continues to talk. “I don’t know why that’s what messes me up the most. That I caused it and I don’t remember it. That it’s my fault but I didn’t know for so long.”

“It’s not your fault,” Grian says gently. “It was an accident. That’s what accidents are, they’re not on purpose. So it can’t be your fault.”

“And you’re right, G-man,” Scar says. His voice wavers. “I already know that. It isn’t my fault. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. I didn’t know about the ice. I know it’s not my fault but…it’s really hard to believe that, isn’t it?”

Grian swallows against a lump in his throat, and flicks his eyes down to the table. It’s the hardest thing in the world, just below staying alive. 

“I just think about everything I could have done differently. Why didn’t I just go alone? Why didn’t I wait until the next day? What if I was driving slower? Would the difference of one mile per hour, or five, or ten have been the difference between life and death? What if I had reacted faster, or better? What if I saved the car from spinning? If I had left just one minute earlier, or five seconds earlier, there might not have been traffic in the oncoming lane. If I had left three hours earlier, maybe the temperature would have still been high enough to keep the ice from refreezing.”

He stops to take a breath. “It doesn’t ever stop. And it doesn’t bring anyone back. The worst is thinking about the things you did and the things you didn’t. Like maybe I would have told him I loved him that morning if I’d known that was the last day I’d see him. Or maybe I wouldn’t have stolen $20 from him and then lied about it when I was 8 years old. Or maybe I would have asked him again to tell me about his funniest story from when he was a teenager. But that’s just how it is, I think. It all comes back to you.”

“How do you deal with it?” Grian whispers. 

“Badly,” Scar says, and for once he doesn’t sound like he’s on the brink of tears. “You go forward. And then backward. And then forward again. You live through it.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“You’re already doing it.” 

“I’m not doing it very good.”

“That’s the only way you can do it.”

There hasn’t been any more fireworks since they started talking. The night outside is dark, with only the slightest sliver of a new moon. Millions of tiny stars glitter in the sky in nearly uninterrupted view. It’s a beautiful night out there, hot and still, but Grian stays in the four walls of his cabin. Enclosed.

Scar speaks. “One of my steps was coming back here. I think, in the end, it was a step forward. This place gives me comfort. I always liked this part of the state. My dad used to take me camping out here all the time, like once a summer. Sometimes we went to Yellowstone National Park. Sometimes we went to Grand Teton National Park. Sometimes we went to Bridger-Teton National Forest. And sometimes we went here. It’s the quietest here.”

“It sounds like you were close with your dad,” Grian says. “It sounds like fun.”

“It was,” Scar says. “My dad was cremated. It was a while before I was out of the hospital, and it was a while before traveling somewhere wasn’t an ordeal. We saved some of his ashes for closer to home, but we made a special trip out here and scattered a little in each spot.”

“That sounds nice…” Grian trails off.  “Like he’s still here, somewhere. In a place he loved. In a place with you.”

“I think I fell a little in love with this place then, in a way I didn’t when I was just a child. Or maybe I was just antsy. I wasn’t doing very good, I guess I can tell you that. There was too much guilt and familiarity at home. I wanted out. I wanted to be anywhere else but there. It took me two years after the accident to make it but I came here.”

“So,” Grian says. “Running from something. I see it.”

“Yeah,” Scar says with a huff of air. “Not that great at running these days though! I mean, I’m barely a hiker anymore without being wiped out for a few days! My mom thought this job was a terrible idea. She thought the last thing I needed was to be alone. I guess you know what that’s like.”

“I didn’t even tell my friends or my mum I was taking this job,” Grian admits. “They’d freak out. The reaction from people I knew back in Colorado was bad enough. So I just sent ‘em a letter the first week I was here. A ranger told me I had mail at the main office but I don’t want to check it.”

“They’ll give it to you at the end of the season if you don’t come pick it up,” Scar says. “You can read it then, after you’ve already done it.”

“Was it what you needed?” Grian asks abruptly. “Being alone.”

“I needed it. I think—sometimes everything in your head makes you want to avoid people. You feel like you need the silence of an empty room to just let it all fall out and fix itself. It helps. But only for a little while, because it never really fixes itself. After a while it just eats you up.”

And Grian wants to say, I think it’s eating me. And he wants to say, I think I am not alone enough, I still need more space, I still need more time. And he wants to say, Everything will be fine, I just need to find him. And he wants to say, I don’t think I would have lasted this summer without you.

“I didn’t have anyone to talk to my first summer as a lookout,” Scar admits. “But you have me. And I think—Grian, I know you think you’re alone, but you aren’t. And I know you think nobody understands, but I do. I’m trying to.”

“Oh,” he says. Oh.

There’s tears suddenly welling up in his eyes, and Grian rapidly tries to blink them away. He sees it in the incessant chatter that had annoyed him on the first week. He sees it in their radio channel, the one just for them to talk on, the secondary channel that ensures the main frequency is always open for real emergencies. Scar’s been cultivating the perfect landing spot for Grian to fall into, before he even knew Grian needed it.

“It’s not actually two different things, is it?” Grian finally responds. “Running away from something, and looking for something.”

And Scar says, “I don’t think it is, in the end.”

<< Chapter Seven | Masterpost | Chapter Nine >>

[thatonecrookedsmile]

*kicks the front door with all the strength I have*

WAKE UP, CHILDREN. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH.

Hey there IRIS fans. It's been a while. More than 3 months to be exact. I came once again to offer you my gifts. Behold…..breadcrumbs! :D

Yeah, that's all I have at the moment. I'm sorry.

I was reflecting on the idea of posting things that are more....small? Don't just post finished drawings. Maybe WIPs or, sketches, or in the case above, a doodle! Basically, I don't need to ONLY post finished drawings. Or drawings. Sometimes I can just. Post words, you know. I had the realization about this a while ago when I remembered that I'm on Tumblr. I can post (almost) anything here without limiting myself. Now, will I fulfill this? I don't know. Maybe I'll do that, or I'll just post it when I have a drawing ready to post. I don't promise anything lol.

Anyway, IRIS! I made this little doodle of Goliath while I was out of the house. I only drew his Pre-Explosion version once and it was in that Transmission 3 drawing. As a joke too. So I tried to do something a little more serious. This time…he has a face! I thought it turned out good. I think I found a good way to do his hair too. I decided to color it (and do a light digital lineart over it) to make it more pleasant. Simple, but it looks nice! (I'll leave the normal scribble unedited at the end of the post) Also, I know that in the only art we have of P.E Goliath it doesn't show him with irises and pupils in his eyes. I drew them here because I thought it would be cool.

Next stop is to practice drawing his body. I have to learn how to draw more muscular bodies. Goliath has to live up to his name (and he deserves the muscles tbh)

It goes without saying that I did this after watching the new chapters of Story of Vegala. And speaking of that: i'm gonna be honest with you: I think this is my favorite part of the IRIS story/lore drops posted so far.

It's quite intriguing to see the very story that happened before everything we've seen so far. It's also nice to receive what I've wanted for a while: Tyrant and Fate Lore. It's good to have more information about two characters that we've known (more or less) for a long time now. Especially their origins (broader origins than just *the first beings that walked the Earth* or *beings that came from distant worlds in search of the emblem*)

SOV also makes me excited for other things. Like, obviously, HOAA:R. Releasing soon! December is knocking on the door, you know. But I also really want to see Jaws of Vegala now. And whatever happens in the story that takes place after GT.

So again, SOV is currently my favorite part of the lore, I believe. The anguish of waiting for the next episodes this past week was real.

I'm talking too much once again, SHIT. Yeah, Pre-Explosion Goliath. He deserves the world (He's NOT a monster, he's just BIG and STRONG, and needs a functioning family *cries*)

I don't know when I'll do my next Big Piece related to IRIS. I had something in mind but I lost the will. But I was thinking about doing something related to Solitude for a while. Hold this thought,then. Until then, I'll sketch Tyrant next. Because I like his official design.

Also, here is the unedited scribble:

[floralcrematorium]

I don't know if youve answered this before, but what made you come back? I'm not that old in the fandom, maybe half a year and it's so interesting how that fandom changed and how it used to be.

Thanks for the ask! I'm gonna be real with you, it was an accident. This is about to be a loooooooong ass post so I'm putting it beneath the cut:

It happened steadily in July. A very slippery slope.

I left in or around 2018 just because I lost interest. A friend in 7th grade introduced me to it in early 2014. I had been running my Instagram account since Summer of 2014 with my best friend (who at the time had been my partner, and by 2018 we had broken up) and our other friend. We'd all moved on and the account became dead. It wasn't a good account, but we'd amassed 1.1k followers during our tenure. Those were the days of if you wanted to post a comic, there were no Instagram slides. You had to post it all individually. The account was deleted in 2021? I think? 2020?

So come July 2023, I was poking around in my old Google Drive and found some of my old Hetalia stuff. Which included a fic with the aforementioned friends. It uh. Is not good. I reread it and oh boy is it a product of its time (we were probably 13-15 when we wrote it) and it was a 3 way POV that we all wrote with self insert characters. It was basically Heta characters get thrown in the setting of Outlast but with the plot of FNAF. Yeah. So uh. Not much to defend there. I jokingly went to my friends like "Hey, what if we rewrote this but not horrible" and we genuinely thought about it! For a night.

But for me it wasn't one night.

I kept thinking about it.

And one thing led to the next, I was revisiting old Youtube videos I liked and reread a fic I used to like.

I think what really did me in was listening to the character songs again and a couple of hetaloid covers. I was doing artfight and listening only to Hetalia music while I drew.

I genuinely did not really use my normal Tumblr before floralcrematorium came to be. I have an entirely separate account for personal stuff and art (I will not be sharing it) and it got to a point where I was seeking so much Hetalia stuff that I figured, why the fuck not, and eventually made an account. I also eventually made my first A03 account (I was on Wattpad and FFN back in the day) because someone wrote a CanUkr fic where Mattie had overexerted himself and was in the hospital and Katya and Alfred were going to kill him because he kept insisting he could work (I CANNOT FIND THIS FIC AGAIN, I FOUND IT ON TUMBLR ORIGINALLY, PLEASE HELP IF THIS RINGS A BELL!!).

And uh, so here I am!

I draw Hetalia stuff on occasion (I should... draw more considering that's what I went to college for but whatever) and have a couple of ideas for illustration series in my head.

I've got a lot of fic ideas I want to write. I have a literal list on my phone. I think about it in bed, at work, and little things remind me of Hetalia all the time.

I've gotten back into RP (I used to use Shamchat and Kik).

I've met so many cool people and I've been having a wonderful time being back so far. When I was originally in the fandom, I consumed a lot of content, but as far as mutuals went it was just me and my two friends. Meeting so many new people has been absolutely wonderful.

Hetalia is really the only fandom I've been in. I've liked other media and consumed fics/enjoyed art/bought prints (COUGH RWBY), but Hetalia is the only media I've ever had fan accounts for. It's the only media I've so deeply entrenched myself in that I feel comfortable writing fics. My walls used to be covered in Hetalia -- both official wall scrolls and shitty art I'd made myself (I have pictures I can attach at the end of the post). I had... so much merch. When I was 14 I only asked for Hetalia related things for my birthday. Every now and again I get that "am I doing the right thing?" ick because of the negative fandom reputation and reactions I'd get from people when I would admit to having liked Hetalia in the past, but I don't care about that now. Genuinely, fuck that. I like this piece of media whether I want to or not. I'm not going to be a self-hating Hetalia fan like I was in 2018-2021/22. I've come back to the show with completely different... motives? Idk what the right phrase is here -- I'm here to explore the characters of these little freaks (looking at you, Francis), I love all of the fanart I see, I like the exchange of historical and cultural information/resources.

Sure, I'd consider my fandom niche to be humanverse Francis and FACE fam, but I genuinely enjoy exploring outside of my corner of the fandom. I try to spread myself out -- I want to consume everything. I want to be exposed to everything.

Hetalia is one of the single most impactful pieces of media in my life. Without it, I wouldn't have my best friend, who broke up with me for APH Austria in 2015. The friends I ran the Instagram account with and I are all still in contact. I talk to one much more frequently than the other, but they are both so near and dear to my heart and I can't believe that this silly show is what got us to where we are. The youngest of us is about to graduate college a whole year early. I met her when she was 11 and I was 12 or 13? I couldn't be more proud of her, of the three of us, and it's been so fun to have these occasional nights where we (okay, just me) get tipsy and go through old fandom media/watch the dub and go ooooof. I was in a really bad place when I was originally into Hetalia. Coming back now feels like coming full circle.

The old fandom had plenty of its own issues, and the fandom now certainly isn't devoid of issues, but now that the fanbase has shifted to an older audience and I actually have like. Social skills. I love talking to other people. I like creating. I like thinking about these stupid characters before I go to bed.

My single favorite thing about the Hetalia fandom now is the care put into historical work as well as the exploration of portrayals of the characters. Because Hetalia lacks a plot and Hima is constantly retconning things, everyone has their own interpretations of everything. Everyone has their own version of Francis Bonnefoy, Yao Wang, or Alfred F. Jones. And that's so cool!!! You don't see that anywhere else.

I know I'm typically a pessimist on main, but I'm genuinely glad to be back. It's weird to be back. I've had mixed reactions from irl friends that I'm back.

But who the fuck cares?

I'm having fun, I'm making friends, and I can't believe there are still people here.

I genuinely hope I'm here for a while. I have so much I want to write. I want to draw all of the things my skill level was too low for back when I was a teen.

CRINGE IS DEAD AND I AM FREE.

The following images are certainly about to destroy any cool perception anyone has of me, if they even do. I was... certainly a teenager, is all I have to say! I am,,, thankfully not like this anymore. I hope.

Here are those pictures of my bedroom circa 2015 I promised:

DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT THE LIVE LAUGH LOVE.

That drawing of Russia with Neko-Talia Russia? Yeah. Uh. I did that for an art project in the 7th grade for class. I also did a ceramics piece with the mochis, that I've since lost. These images scream "I'm 14 and like Hetalia in 2015."

I used to have little hearts with all the ships I liked in them (I think that's AusHun in the picture on the left?). I also had "I love you" written in like 20 languages on index cards taped above my headboard.

Also a literal timestamp I found in my old emails with the friend who got me into Hetalia:

Being a young teenager in the old fandom certainly,,,, was something. I would not relive that, but by god would I do ANYTHING to get my favorite pieces of fan media back from that time. There was a video called "Hetalia What Did You Do To Panda" which was a bunch of clips from the anime with Katie Herzig's "Hey Na Na" playing in the background. Every now and then a dub audio clip would interject with the song.

I also really miss this one very specific Character Theme Songs video that had Poland in the thumbnail. Mein Gott would play between each song and I could tell you most of the songs that had been assigned to each character.

I would do ANYTHING to get those videos back. I miss them so much.

Anyway, if you read this whole thing, thanks for reading??? I am very Cool And Normal about the things I like, unfortunately. It's nice to come back to Hetalia and like... be a normal person about it.

All I've got to say is, when I like something, I like it a lot.

[littlepuppylee]

Update On My Life:

Hi everyone!

I know it's been a while since I've been active, a lot has been going on in my life recently, and my recently I mean the past year. Just a warning, I do talk about just like anxiety, depression, and dealing with trauma and thoughts of sewer slide.

First, I would just like to thank you guys for being patient with me and my absence. I know I don't have a large following, but I still have people on here who I would chat with occasionally. I haven't been doing well since July of 2023. To sum everything up, I had jumped from relationship to relationship, got cheated on in one, had a fwb relationship for the first time and got my heart broken, and was uhhhh not well mentally lmao. Sorry I'm avoiding trauma dumping. But hey I finally lost my virginity, so that's something.

So for me, whenever I've been in relationships, I kind of neglect my NSFW Tumblr blogs mainly because I don't want my partners finding them and either 1. finding out some kinks that I'm not ready to share, or 2. presume that I am cheating on them or being unfaithful.

I'm also in therapy and I should be starting some anti-anxiety medication that should also help with depression. Yay, Zoloft. Oh yeah! Officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder - not surprised since it runs in my family- and Atypical Depression - I didn't fit the entire criteria for Major Depressive Disorder since my depressive episodes aren't long enough, which also runs in my family - as well as some symptoms relating to PTSD - I don't fit the entire criteria for PTSD I think; I just remember being diagnosed with Acute Stress Disorder. I'll talk to my therapist about that for clarification.

Also, don't be like me and jump from relationship to relationship as a way to distract yourself from the negative feelings from the past one. 1. That just isn't fair to the other person if they are not aware of this, and 2. You need to give yourself time to heal. I never gave that to myself because I thought I was fine. I thought I was better, but my therapist helped me realize that no, I am not better. She had said to me that just because I feel better, that doesn't mean I am actually better, and when she asked me for my thoughts on what she had just said, I realized that I haven't been better for a while. I haven't been better for a long time, which became more obvious when I opened up to her about a traumatic event that happened when I was 12-13 and hadn't talked about in years.

I ended my most recent relationship because I realized that I was in fact not okay and not over my trauma, and the levels of anxiety and feelings of apathy from depressive episodes that I was feeling was affecting my relationship. It was a good relationship, but I probably shouldn't have been in a relationship to begin with at the time considering 1. my grandfather died and that was a bit traumatic to witness, 2. I had just gotten my heart heavily broken, and 3. uhhhh mental health got SUPER bad :] Thoughts of sewer slide, but I'm hanging in!

Alright! Let's get onto the positive stuff! Besides that, the second semester of my second year of college is going super well academically speaking. It's the end of the semester right now, finals are coming up very soon, and I have 2 B's and the rest are A's as of this moment. All I have left now are mostly papers, 2 official finals, and a presentation. I'm also an aunt now! Not too fond of kids myself, but my nephew is the exception lmao, he's pretty cool for a newborn. I've also been reading a book right now called 'Tiny Traumas' to hopefully help me identify some areas in my life that could've contributed to the way I think, act, and feel, and how to move forward. I also finally get to start working, so making some money will be nice. Putting off relationships for a while and focusing on making money and bettering myself

What have I learned? Well, I can't have sex without developing feelings - found that out the hard way, I genuinely DID go through a traumatic experience and I had been downplaying it for years because nothing physical happened, don't trust Gemini men, don't date a 23 year old at 19, DON'T TAKE HIM BACK AFTER HE CHEATS EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY EMOTIONALLY CHEATING, and I cannot do a polyamorous relationship. Scratch that, what I actually learned was that I was a unicorn lmao. At least it makes a good funny story to tell.

So I'm mostly making all of this known to hopefully help feel someone less alone, especially on the NSFW side of Tumblr, as well as to just vent a bit while avoiding trauma dumping. This is also just to help show where I've been and how I'm doing. Besides that, I should be back for good, and I hope you guys are doing well :)

[postal-ech]

Eyy this will probably be the first post I ever make on this site, but I've been reminded of something as of recent

Call it late night nostalgia, but Chet Falisek, a former writer of many of my childhood games posted a couple of videos on TF2 talking about how Meet your Match really changed TF2 for the worst, and I'll post it at the end of this thread here of course.

TF2 has always been my childhood game, probably my first game I ever played on an old shittly Lenovo Laptop my dad let me borrow as a kid, before I was ever able to access stuff like minecraft and gmod and all those other old games from back then but it's been with me for decades, moreso than even Undertale which I've only ever recently gotten back into thanks to Deltarune. I've met my best friend on there, as well as other friends that have come and gone, I've seen a lot of cool and wacky maps and servers - from my old home server that constantly hosted an honestly impressive recreation of Majora's Mask's Clock town and Termina Field, to Mario_Kart and the weird community servers like Slender Fortress, Saxton Hale and its sister game mode Freak Fortress (who the hell still remembers those TF2 OCs eh?) And the likes

But after Gun Mettle and Meet your Match, something definitely changed in TF2, and it was especially the case with Meet your Match

Nowadays community servers aren't so much the forefront of tf2, more so its valve's official casual servers, I don't even think competitive mode is even alive, and if it is I'm betting it gets the same number of players as current day Mann vs Machine, but I feel like a good chunk of that community was lost after Meet your Match that not a lot of people talk about (well, barring other important matters of course like the never ending bot crisis)

There was a magic to logging onto TF2 back in 2013, 2014 when you can just go to your favorite community server, log on and see the people you've been banting and shitposting with since the day you first got on that server, bunnyhop from one end of the map to the other while shooting at each other while micspamming YouTube poops and rolling the dice for weird and wacky effects.

That server is long gone now, less because of Meet your Match and more because people have moved on

But I suppose in this long winded ramble of a post here on Tumblr the message is:

There is value in a community, no matter what it is. It could be Undertale, TF2, could be that small GMod server you ran with a while back, could be that one romhacking group doing stuff with your favorite Nintendo game, but there is value to it.

Granted TF2 is uh, still edgy as all shit as it was before, it's just now got a wide mixture of people from far and wide, but even as the boomer I make myself out to be, there's still people making Source Filmmaker animations with these characters, there's still people playing the game the way they want to, and these people and more are still making memories on this nearly 2 decade old game.

Dont let anyone say otherwise to ya. There's a value in having a community for that game, for all the fan projects they've made, it will always have its ups and downs, definitely some downs you may never forget, but chances are you've met some of your best friends and gotten to see some cool shit along the way, and hopefully that sticks with you long enough to take inspiration from it in the long run.

Guess that's it for my first post here, bar reblogs, wonder where this will go next.

Here's that link, by the by. Go and give Chet a sub too, he brings in some very good insights on a lot of things if you ask me, at least when it comes to his time at Valve and his creative work with the games that were there

[ask-idv-shepherd]

Shepherd S-Teir Essence

DISCLAIMER: So this is my first Essence idea I'm doing publicly for people to join in on, if they want. I'm not great with Essence lore, but designs I really really like doing. I'm going to put some ground rules for the essence below. For now though, here's a little bit of info on the lore.

~~

"Today was supposed to be a joyous day for me, for us."

"For once I don't have to worry about lowly humans messing with our lives. That is why it rains when the foxes are to be married. To keep the bad away."

"But now? The rain is weeping, cold and in misery. I've lost so much, given them so many chances to prosper, but they all run away, calling me a foul beast..."

"Will you be the bride-to-be? Or are you here to strip me of my chances of happiness once more?"

~~

S-Tier: Twofaced-Fox Groom - Pearce Whittaker The groom who is half man, half beast. Countless maiden's were fated to him, and yet all have washed away like the rain on his special day. He will get what he wants, even if a little sacrifice entails.

A-Tier: The Vixen Bride - Carmilla Blackwood @ask-idv-outcast The bride who came to be. Her world spins at the lack of understanding. Is this a reality? Or is this a twisted fantasy of possession and desperation? Pleading is endless. A-Tier: Hindered Ijiraq - (OPEN) The objector to this nightmarish event. Shapeshifting into what he must, Protecting the Vixen Bride is all that matters. To pry the claws off a fox, you must be in the exact situation, and take the rightful role back.

B-Tier: Deathly Officiant - (OPEN) The preacher who's gone cold. Nothing more than a long, skeletal remain of who they once were. Adorned with the antlers of an elk, they must ensure this wedding does not end in humanity's downfall. B-Tier: Wilting Willows - Ameillia Thomson @ask-idv-gas-specialist To toss the petals at a wedding is almost necessary, and yet here, everything is dead and lifeless. While there may be no joy in such a place, there is always a small glimmer of hope. All roles must be played, no matter how bitter it may be. B-Tier: Ouroboros Bearer - Eiji Narukami @idv-artists-trio-trio The rings bind lovers indefinitely. Vows are made, and promise till death. This is the eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation. Fighting through skin and bone, you must be there for your beloved always. B-Tier: The Urayuli Usher - Victor Grantz/Campbell @ask-victor-grantzcampbell A large beast who finds the to-be-brides lost in the woods. Those who have gone missing lie at the hands of a beast with high-pitched shrills. Yet here, they serve as peaceful creatures seeking to guide those destined to fate. B-Tier: Maid of Shallowness - (OPEN) Jealousy, Hatred, Pettiness. All things accumulated to malice. The maid who wished to be the best, to have a gorgeous wedding. The plot only thickens when trying numerical times to replace the bride. Even if bloodshed is the last resort. B-Tier: Best Man's Sorrows - (Damien Hardwick @idv-sinful-deities Pity, Regret, Ashamed. The things that make the Best Man feel sorry for countless brides and their frivolous ends. With little to no power, all they can do is weep enterally at what could transpire next. If only someone could stop this nightmare once and for all. ~~

RULES:

One person per blog, sorry homies with the multiple characters on one blog. U_U a. OCs and canon characters are allowed btw!!!

First come, first serve. That's the rules man. Once all the roles are filled, that'll be it so I can work on designs.

Skin Recommendation ideas would be cool! If you have any questions, you can message me here on Tumblr, or On Discord if you prefer! My User is JustMandika#2840.

Don't rush me on the skin making. I absolutely hate that and it might make me procrastinate longer.

~~ So yeah, that's it. If you want a character to be in this little essence idea I did, please lemme know in my inbox here for shepherd. I'll answer in due time, I promy ( Xv X) b

[sarahlizziewrites]

🎬—Who would you cast as your characters? (If you've not already been asked this!)

Thank you for the ask! I was hoping I'd get this question even though it is SO HARD :')

I have people in mind for the cast of my WIPs, but I am fully aware that they might be too old, or not tall enough, or any other manner of obstacles. The following are my 'head canon cast' - the people I'd put in a gifset in a 'movie magic' kind of casting.

For the Adventures of Sitora Lux:

Sitora - Dianna Agron

I have had such a hard time finding an actor who has the youthful, unassuming joy that I picture in Sitora. Dianna has it. The main thing that I'd look for in casting Sitora would be her smile. Never mind that she's 5'5" and Sitora's a cool 6'. That's what movie magic is for 😂

Raelynn Thenorin - Danielle Rose Russell

Saw a gifset on Tumblr and just thought "That's my Raelynn". In particular, her bone structure just makes her look so much like how I pictured Rae. ❤️

Lance Marrowstone - Malachi Kirby

Just look at my boy! Lance is a major sweetheart and a badass fighter, and it was important to me that I choose a Black British actor for him.

Trix - Brenda Song

Brenda is who I pictured when I wrote Trix, and she's just got that glamorous, superior look down pat. She's older than the character is supposed to look, but we have time powers here.

And for Grey-Sky Lark:

I really only have two MCs for this story, so I'll talk about them.

Protagonist

It's very uncool how much Timepiece Chardonnay suits my protagonist: he's got that baby face and the typecasting of being a brooding lil guy. But part of me really does want to see him go completely feral and murder a 300lb Viking.

Matthew Raynott - Dan Stevens

I was agonising about the casting for Matthew when I realised that I literally named him after Matthew from Downton Abbey. Is it any coincidence that Dan is the perfect fit? I've been on Pinterest literally staring at gifs of my blorbo for days now.

For Chrissie's of London:

Silas Chrissie - Aaron Taylor Johnson

I don't know how to tell you that Silas Chrissie is somewhere near the midpoint of Aaron Taylor Johnson's 2012-2022 detwinkification process. Also, Silas is NOT meant to look this good with a moustache.

Jacques de Éloïe - Louis Garrell

A jawline built for angst. Big brown universe eyes to get lost in. That's my boy!

Loretta Cramps - Helen George

Can rock a period look? Check. Can rock a bob? Check. Totally nails Loretta's down-to-earth, smartest-person-in-the-room vibe? Yes!

Amanda Suffolk - Jessica Chastain

Absolutely frothing at the mouth for Jessica Chastain in any period pieces. The only problem with her taking on Amanda as a fairly small role is that she would totally steal the show.

Look, this whole exercise does make me a little uncomfortable. Am I going to get cancelled in the future if any of these actors end up being problematic? Maybe. Is this an official 'author's endorsement' for casting my stuff? Hell no, this is just so my followers can see who I see in my head. A small part of me does find this desperately creepy too >_< but also it's been fun.

[escapenightmare]

— 𝐈'𝐌 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆.

this is probably not that much of a surprise considering how inactive i've been lately. but after much considering on whether i should deactivate or archive my blog, i decided to archive it since i've gotten a lot of asks from anons saying how some of my fanfiction works comfort them.

with how i have to take school seriously from this grade onwards due to upcoming exams (including IGCSE that i'll be taking around this time next year) and how i've lost motivation to write, i'd just feel weird knowing i don't log into tumblr anymore— to write or do anything else for that matter which is why i'm archiving my blog.

none of my posts will be taken down because for one, i'm too lazy to do so, and i'd also feel bad if i did it since i put thought and effort into most of them.

i won't be active on this blog after i've officially archived it, which i'm going to be doing in a few hours after i do my homework. but i will once in a blue moon be active on my side blog (@kaminari-s) because i still want to keep in touch with my friends.

anyways, i'm thankful for every one of the 3,610 people that follow me and i will always be grateful to you for reading my fanfiction about 2d characters. it's been over a year since i began writing for anime on here and it has been amazing.

i made some awesome and cool mutuals throughout the past year and it's been chaotic and fun but i really have to focus on my studies now and i thought tumblr would be a distraction, but considering how i've lost motivation to write anyways, the best choice i can think of is archiving my blog.

feel free to reblog and thanks for the awesome memories on here <3

[7owery]

9 (4) people I want to get to know better tag!

Thanks so much for tagging me, @crowinhell , you're such a cool mutual and I'm so excited to do my very first tag meme on Tumblr (óuò)!

Last song I listened to: Uptown Girl by Billy Joel, to which I did jumping jacks to, actually, but definitely not an impressive way to start this tag XD

Last show I watched: I very rarely ever finish shows, I'm more of a film person, but the last show I've finished was Smiling Friends, and I'm hoping they release more of it soon!

Currently watching: Right now, I am watching and LOVING "The Sandman" on Netflix, but I'm also watching "What We Do in the Shadows" and officially starting "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" right now! Love having the humorous shows to lean back on if I'm stressed, and "The Sandman" really gets me thinking! And then also Gotham, which I basically have to force myself to watch because everything except for Ed and Oz is not entertaining or just really weird, honestly </3

Currently reading: Caught me at a good time, I actually have a reading list to catch up with! I am currently reading "Silver Linings Playbook", since I actually enjoyed the film and wanted to compare to the source material. I have actually lost the book at the moment though so I might start on another, in which case, I will be reading "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", another book from a film I enjoy (personally, I like this one much better from a technical standpoint). Both are books about characters with mental illness.

Current obsession: Well if everyone couldn't tell, I'm obsessing over the riddler in his many forms at the moment, both because I really enjoy the way his character is written in many (but not all) stories I've seen him in and his various designs totally not because I sort of relate to him superficially or anything. Because of this, I am also getting more into comics, which I haven't done since I was a kid, so it's super fun for me at the moment!

I'm going to tag some mutuals, but of course you don't have to do it, I just think it's super fun!

@deadsh33p @lesbianalgae @vampirepsych101 @artwielder

[grayintogreen]

Inspiration and Reading Asks: 1, 3, 4, 9

How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction? Twelve...ish? I started writing it not long after that because my little middle school brain was like HEY YOU CAN WRITE STUFF ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND POST IT ONLINE?? COOL. It was a lot longer before I learned quality control.

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do? I am a sponge so there are a lot of things I've absorbed over the years that have inspired me across numerous fandoms and the titles and authors are lost to time so I couldn't even begin to list them all. I try to hold onto concepts for as long as possible to utilize them when I find the right time, because I don't like copying people and I know that I will do it without even thinking about it because I pick up things quickly and have a bad habit of sticking them into my filing cabinets and then forgetting they weren't my ideas originally. Over a long enough time period that stuff doesn't matter as much, but I am well aware there's stuff I built into my headcanon lexicon that I got from other people and I try to be very open about it. (ZUALA WASN'T A DRUID I AM SORRY I AM HELPING PERPETUATE THAT FANON BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHOEVER STARTED THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND VALID.)

That's a weird answer, but like... everything I read inspires me. I just have to be careful about how I use that inspiration.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Seen Through the Deadlight by @wintershades

See No Evil; Love Me Blind by @insanitysilver

Debt of Vengeance by steelneena

5. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@wintershades SERIOUSLY READ SEEN THROUGH THE DEADLIGHT. IT'S BASICALLY EVERYTHING YOU COULD WANT IN AN OFFICIAL FJORESTER NOVEL AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

I don't know if they have a tumblr, but quicheling wrote an amazing first chapter of King of Glass and the fact that it only has a few kudos is UPSETTING. That fic has SO. MUCH. promise and I'll be sad if it doesn't get continued due to lack of interest. I know pre-canon stories based on a lot of headcanon aren't popular as a general rule (believe me I know), but it has so much potential to be a good pre-canon Molly story.

@operafloozy is such such such a good writer and small scale worldbuilder within larger worlds and is very good at fleshing out minor characters/details and deserves all of the love.

fanfic ask game.

[televinita]

La Brea thoughts, 2x01-05

Twenty months after I binged season 1 -- so long ago that I had to watch the entire "previously on" recap just to remember half of what happened, because my general impression of this show is that visually it's great and the ideas are cool, but its cast is lackluster and its dialogue often cringe, so it doesn't stay with me -- after five episodes in a week I have had basically four pressing thoughts:

(you get zero context for this because I don't think I have written about this show before even to myself, let alone Tumblr. oops.)

1. I keep forgetting the 1988 story exists so every time we switch over, I feel like I've been smacked in the face by how beautiful and vibrant Riley is (with really great hair). Veronica St. Clair is one of the few true standouts in this cast.

2. Speaking of, Scowling Head of the Mine/Guard Dude is the first character EVER to make me sit straight up and go "hell-o" on sight. Extremely excellent Dark and Brooding face, and also great hair.

3. With the simple addition of slightly growing out his already good hair, I have gone from being meh about Gavin (which always frustrated me because objectively? good looking man. i just felt no screen presence), to being full steam ahead OTP: MARRIED PARENTS; I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL; EVE FORGIVE HIM AND STOP BREAKING IZZY'S HEART ABOUT HER BROKEN HOME OR SO HELP ME... Just full swoon up in this joint now. Man loves his wife, has gone to extreme lengths to reunite, is willing to forgive a whole lot without judgment if she'll do the same; end of story!

3.5. This is a carry-over from me hating Levi's face since it first appeared as THE WORST DUDE in Off the Map. In 2011. This man still has not earned out his badwill from that character, even as the most upstanding military hero character one could imagine. No hope for him!

4. BUT. Here is the thing -- I actually think this is the most interesting love triangle/adultery story I have ever seen on television, because I get it. I understand how it is actually a difficult choice for Eve, because for all my shipping I don't actually know who is the better choice for her right now. I understand how and why the cheating happened and I don't even judge it, which I have literally never felt in the history of ever, ESPECIALLY when a cheater has kids. I understand how you could love both of these men at the same time, and why both of them have valid claims to her heart.

All of this is beautifully complicated by Gavin and Levi being close friends, and my FAVORITE part of it all is Izzy standing in for me and being my sounding board and saying everything I would say and feel in this situation regardless of my age.

I am going to need it to resolve with Levi dying, because this is fully a "I am not sorry you lost them but I'm sorry you're hurt" type of comfort situation in the making, but I think I could actually handle up to an entire season of UST and/or Eve officially choosing wrong for a while, if i could retain some hope.

I will abso-LUTELY riot in an Eve/Levi endgame situation, though. You know how I am about marriage.

Update, BONUS/LEFTOVER THOUGHTS:

Lucas's interactions with Veronica lately: *Dean Pelton voice* what is this? what is this creepy business?

(no seriously why does this feel like UST even though she definitely looks like a teenage child and he is definitely a grown-ass adult. i have never been so viscerally reviled by age difference in my life)

Para has been one of my favorites almost since her introduction and that love has only gotten stronger

Still want the pothead dope to bite it

Less Sam is always better too

MOAR CGI CREATURES. I loved the rhinos, in particular, so g.d. much.

One more thought about the Harrises: despite Gavin and Izzy having spent a whole season sequestered together already, this is really the first time I have gone feral about the father/daughter bond -- I assume this is related to the former becoming Gavin With The Good Hair -- so when the love triangle breaks my heart too much, at least I have this. Honestly, it's really nice seeing her back with her mom too, and any scenes that involve the parents working together to protect/comfort her? Special favorites.

(the son they're all risking life and limb to reunite with? still relegated to Season 1 Gavin status; change my mind)

[bladxbornx]

You know, today seems like a good day to confess something that's been on my mind for the past...couple of years. It's pretty important, but also pretty lengthy, so buckle in.

So as you know from my pinned post, I've been very low activity, mostly just lurking around and watching. And there's a reason for that, and it's kind of a downer of a reason. I feel like an outcast. As silly as it may sound, I sometimes feel like people don't want me here, and I think I know what started it all.

I wont get into specifics because that's a whole other matter, but a certain incident I was a part of really shook my confidence on how I interact with people, roleplayers specifically, here on tumblr. It made me feel like I couldn't do what I'd normally do out of fear of the idea that I'd annoy someone. It's what's stopped me from shooting my partners messages asking about any threads I might have going. And it's been the doom of many threads I've attempted.

And I feel like it's all particularly damning because of my main passion, Touhou Project. I never really felt an attachment to any other series quite like this one, and it's been why go to for any sort of brain rot. And about ten years ago, I tried my hand at becoming a part of that wonderful and terrifying world. And it was...well, maybe not as bad as other people's first attempts, but I still wouldn't call it flawless.

Fast forward a bit, and I finally have and idea of what I want to do, what direction I want to take my OCs, how to evolve them...only to then make a massive social faux pas, proceed to make it worse, and here I am now, deathly afraid of being "kicked out" of Touhou rpc. It was devastating to any motivation I had. And while I had small bursts of activity, I could never seem to get a hold of that same spark. Not without the possibility of being blocked by the very community I wished to join.

It's a scenario that's ran through my head so often that I had made a plan to weave it into the narrative of my OCs; how the two siblings would be cast out of Gensokyo and into the infinite void-sea between realities by some force. Maybe Yukari, maybe not Yukari, but that's not important. The two would then start world hopping, trying to get back home when they don't even know where home is...But it's a useless quest. They wouldn't ever return to Gensokyo. They, like me, would have lost the place they belonged. And the only thing that would've kept them going is that false hope that they could return.

It's a dead end for me. And while this opens up all sorts of possible interactions with other fandoms...they aren't my passion. Touhou is. I've fallen in love with Eastern Wonderland; the beautiful and terrifying realm of fantasy, made by youkai and kami FOR youkai and kami, and continually expanded upon by both official and fan works. And my biggest fear is that my adoration is met with loathing and disgust, from the very icon I hold in high regards.

tldr; I hesitate to interact with anyone out of fear I'll be kicked out of the 2hu cool kids club.

[twippyegg]

Coolish update?

So I have been at my job officially for a month. Time has flied by so fast. I feel so much better than what I did 3-4 months ago. I have Job security from this work from home. Also, I do a really good job as a mortgage counselor. Thing's are starting to look up which is cool.

Today I had an appt with the cooch doctor. I had to do the full 9 yards (iykyk) and This one was more painful than my last one and I dont know why lol... but I was in tears after and I felt so embarrassed for crying infront of this lady. I am okay, I was just really nervous and I was doing this alone ahaha.

I am closer to becoming a streamer. Finally got my DP cable. Just need my cam and LED lights and I will be all set up! Its been a slowish process because since Ive received a paycheck, I bought stuff for the house and really made sure we were solid with snacks and stuff..

This is definitely a more positive post and I overall have a positive mindset! My autism hasn't gotten in the way of work yet.. only issue I've had is with comprehending what my trainer is telling me. Other than that, things are okay! The struggle I faced mentally from Sept.-Jan was hard. It was even harder on my partner. We were the most distant we've ever been. Now that I finally have a job, things can go back to normal again! My partner and I rarely fight. and we didnt really fight through that duration of lost income either. I think we were both just really really sad.. Well anyways, still leaving on a positive note. Thanks for reading this. much luv to tumblr <3 twippy

[silvermuffins]

POkemon Scarlet Liveblog! Part 10ish

bc i am Getting Going even if I'm still scraming about Hades 2

first order of business: breed some ducks for friends. Gets Daya a nice date.

got a nice supply of duck eggs!

accidentally sent someone a gothita egg instead

Okay! I hav now filled in Dreepy, Sprigatito, and Gothita in my dex. Next to evolve is Crabrawler. And also Salandit. Wait how to evolv Crabrawler without Mt. Lanakila? Oh, ice stone. Okay we'll volve Monch and move right along. Phanpy nxt! xcellent, volution already. Nxt will b Cufant.

What's it man if a raid marker on the map is xtra sparkly? Oh ther's on right by a fly point, lt's find out. Shiny four stars??? I faild th raid bcaus th Tyranitar kpt spamming EQ....let's try it again. GOT IT! You'r Adgha.

stops in to say hi to mom rq. MOM TAUGHT ME RECIPES.

reexplores th inlet grotto....o this cave has multipl exits! whre am i!!!

ok i rachd th lighthouse

OKAY god we are Trying with this E key. i have been encouraged to be a curious little thing.

how DID i beat you here, Arven? I dilly dallied so much!

....knew it. He really was raised by the dog.

...The lab looks dusty. Doesn't look like anyone's done anything here in years. The computers come to life, and Sada asks for help. But is this a recording? Or a direct mssage? I stg if she's secretly dead or something....

"the great Professor Sada's glorious research" don't lik the sound of that one bit. Need the scarlet book, huh? We've already been using that. An experience worth treasuring. Tmpting, but lady I am afraid the Great Crater is absolutely off limits for the Treasure Hunt. You got legs, and if you don't you got wheels. Maybe expend half an iota of effort on COMING TO FIND YOUR SON.

cybernetic security systems???

Ohh....Mabostiff got hurt down there....Arven has ben there. Arven I know you treasure Mabostiff but w have more to find. More to see. More to do and feel and love. I'm nto doing this for Sada. I'm using her as an excuse to see it all.

HE CALLED ME HIS FRIEND. yah, that's the spirit! We're gonna go down there and punch your mom in the face! Yeah! Lt's duke it out, but also I need to rifle through your mom's shit for clues.

MOnitors covered in data. Mystrious machine. ...Bed with "Maschiff" written on by a kid. Whiteboard mess of scribbles.

Occulture. Roaring Moon, primeval Salamence. Oh shit it aparently looks similar to what I can only assume is Mega Salamence. Flutter Mane, ghost pterosaur...misdreavus....

A fram with no photo. Picture books for kids, including one about sandwich. Heavy fridge door. Cooktop was used recently! Microwave was not. Sasonings ar expired. Sink hasn't ben usd, mirror is foggy. FUCK went outside I hope I can go back in okay ys good...okay i think I found verything

The cooktop and the empty frame stick out to me as the most important things. Time for a battle! ....PUPPY WANTS TO FIGHT ME I LOVE PUPPY

oh you always lost to nemona yeah she's kind of so much all the time. not a bad person in the least. whatever tho im fight you! not her! no matter how sh acts it's not cheating on her to battle other people

i love Arven so much. Hy! First time I've battled an opponent with a full team! ...th fuck is toedscruel made of??? wham wham wham. Come to see it, Arven also looks like the tera orb is a little hard to control.

you did pretty good Arven. Not good enough to have really stood a chance, but pretty good. And now Linny is evolving! W can switch out.

ohhh we need to recruit Nmona and Penny (who I bet is Cassiopeia) huh

tumblr cool your jets. Honstly I think Nmona would help if w just askd but you're right we probably need to earn Pnny's aid. Also my guy i hav champion rank skills by now. ven if it's not official.

yanks another stak from th earth. yanks anothr. FOUND ANOTHR. ooh Bramblberry th applin will join us.

okay maybe let's gt on with things....like dealing with Cassiopeia. Hi, Clive. I know that's not really your name. But I'm not a snitch. And I am always one for indulging dramatic reveals. Impressive hiding long pants under your shorts.

wait wha??? You're Cassiopeia? I don't buy it. ...No you're angling for a battle bfore the real big boss. You could have just asked, you know. Oh I forgot to swap Linny out. This bgm is far too pleasant to b the finale. Hammer off! Abomasnow's Wood Hammr vs Pebbles's Gigaton Hammer!

Man even Clavell has some trouble controlling the orb. maybe it's just Hard. Anyway Chank is volving, so I'll swap in som new Pokmon after the cutscene. There's no way in hell Clavell is really Cassiopeia.

No shit you're not. Yah....yeah I thought you were trying to spare me some pain. Just. Let me learn the truth.

??? Tyme?

right, so, you'r gonna handle that, right professor? WHile I go battle? Okay it's Gibl and Wingull next. But I gotta wait for nightfall. So, friendship! I have nothing for Riafort and Saguaro right now but ooooh hi Miriam! I look forward to your classes next year~

discovers a whol chunk of msagoza I didn't explore before, somehow...ther's nobody in tsi Every Which Way? Not ven the recip guy?

am on roof!

am also sleepy

okay good morning

i think it's nighttime in game by now, so I have a constellation to fight

yeah that's penny alright. It's okay swetie you hid your identity fine, I'm just genre savvy.

Huh, so you didn't decid to do Operation Starfall until that day...? Mayb the two mmbers talking about quotas and trying so hard to convinc you....mayb the outliers in th tam were what told you it had to nd....strayd too far from what you wanted. Team Star lived long enough to see itself become the villain, that's what you thought, right?

yes penny listn to the part of you that wants Team Star to live on!!! They'v been waiting for you! You could guide them back to what you want to be!

oh hey clive, I se you escapd Ms. Tyme

Penny....is just so scard of being hurt.... Penny they're your friends. You never ven met them in person but they treasure you so much they've waitd for you for eighteen months.

i know from experience that even just a year is a long fucking time to wait. it hurts. physically, it hurts. it tears you up.

Thank god the bosses still had one another, and their squads, because I know how hard that is and I genuinely do not think I would have survived without my important people.

anyway protct Penny protect Team Star

sorry penny don't mind me taking care of this wingull while I dal with you

this music is sick. thanks Giacomo!

she has entirely eeveelutions....but she can't hav all of them, I wonder what will be left out? and what will be her tera?

Her Leafeon is causing me the most problems thus far just because I have no effective counter to grass.

Penny struggles to control the orb too so I guss it's just hard?

somehow I feel like we have arrived at the only outcome nobody wanted.

wll. Humphry is evolving, so we can swap out for somthing....mayb somthing that handles Grass....though most of my options aren't gonna b a viabl lvel by the E4 huh? still I gotta think about my championship team and I know what I need. I need a ground type, dark typ, and something to handle grass. Oh, Gorp is evolving too. Gorp is Ground....might b worthwhil to kep on my team....

anyway tim to hurt

ow

Penny....

the bosses had better turn up right the fuck now to talk som snse into you

Penny.....who hurt you that you feel like you need to hide and scheme and tie everything up in operations? Can't you even trust your friends...?

fuck it I'm sharing my mom with you too

penny why ar you throwing your treasure away

awww clavell got her, at least

OH YES THEY ARE ALL HERE AREN'T THY

FRIENDSHIP, YOU DIPSHIT

jfc

clavell being a Good Adult and acknowldging how fucked up this whole situation is

HUG HER. HUG ALL OF THEM.

babies

i finally understand....Pnny's ben all twisted up with guilt, and has kpt hrself distant and alone all this time. Sh nver got to reallyse that Team Star was the best thing that ever happened to the others. There's a difference between hearing somthing said and knowing it with your heart.

All this time she was trying to carry everything herself whn the whole point was that she didn't need to be alone.

thy're all still in trouble.....community srvice huh. ...Star Training Cntrs!!! Oh my gosh....sir you're dressing a reward up as a punishment

Penny they love you and want you to be with them, why do you need my opinion.

does some tam planning before I continue. I will need to grind a bit.

kay Scoots is back on the team! And w also hav a Sandile.

awww the League is like "you know what Penny, you're a genius, so use your talents for good and we'll waive the problem"

also penny I am kidnapping you to go crater diving

god pnny is being praised that foreign to you...?

Starfall Street....complete!

now tim to grind....I wish autobattling didn't giv so much less exp

oh well grinding grinding grinding. yanks a stake.

huh, i found a cave with the elemental hyper beams. Holy shit, Wild Spiritomb! Nam you Jacks. Some Candy later, I hav a Krookodile and everyon's at least to endgame-ish levels.

Okay! To Msagoza!

We have a league to beat but first, time to see if this cav's any good. Is it a real victory road???

....litrally it's not even a cave, wow. th Pokemon up here are worth no exp. Child why are you attempting the League with just a level 14 Meowth. He has no badges. Literally what the fuck???

okay this cabbi is a bit better

this is probably th most underwhelming league leadup ever

I can probably at last take down on elit as I am and if it's too much of a struggle, I have rare candies and plenty of them

Geeta could honestly kill a man with that hair of hers.

oooh Rika is interviewing me!....this is a wirdass intrview. Oh, memory games.

"You passed the interview on your first try?" "What, like it's hard?" Nobody's done it since Nmona huh...

heeeeere goes. Oooh w're back to a specific order, eh? ha'ent done that with a real elite four since gen 4.

Other than Hassel, I'm not sure of anyn type specialties. Rika's gone with Whiscash, so we're probably looking at watr or ground. ...And it's ground! Gt out hre Daya. oooh water absorb, that's nasty....well all else being equal, I have a bird!

I do wonder if it's going to b actually back to back, or if i'll hav a chance to heal first. Oooh Poppy's nxt, and I think it might lgit be back to back to back?! OH NO i do get to heal up

also this arena is bland as fuck

oooh she deals in steel eh. easy peasy. Jupe sweeps. Oh my god the steel crown is just an axe.

....LARRY???

WHY IS LARRY HERE LET HIM REST

well jupe will sweep again and Daya has whatever Jupe doesn't deal with-- oh he's not pulling a gen 7 on me actually. Oh he's using Flying, so Jupe still sweeps.

oh okay an altaria merits Pebbles. lol okay some swapping shnanigans at the end....

Larry down! I hope I get neat glovs if I win this. Okay, Pebbles is all dressed up and ready to go!

I bet he uses dragon and if not dragon then rock because th rest of the E4 have used the Titans' typs. Either way, Pebbles is the answer. k yah it's dragon.

oh so geeta strong armed you all huh....is Paldea's league some kind of mafia?!

....wait. there was no final rival fight, and it's been a while...am i going to be fighting Nemona??? SOmehow? Like that maks better plot sense but verything seems to be Geeta....

okay yah it's Geeta.

it's fin if you can't hold back I'm a protagonist.

Espathra...and THIS is why I specifically got a dark type! Gogoat? And THAT'S why I grabbed Scoots! Kingambit? King, king...leeeet's stay in for now? Fire's gooooo oh Scoots is down. Un, when in doubt, Jupe? Kingambit down and Scoots back up! Avalugg...I have several things to deal with ice but lt's try Sotero. ...bad moves. Okay, Pebbles! Veluza, that's gonna b Cabrande territory. I hav her backd into a corner and sh has Glimmora... That sounds like th Rock/Poison type I caught earlier? Uhhh what is this thing... Let's use Daya so Daya can appear in this fight, let's Do This! Terastallize, signature move, annnd...oh my god Glimmora's tera hat is just the fucking. Olympus Colisseum.

oh holy shit. Tera STAB crit type advantage, that's uh, that's...every fucking damage modifier basically. No wonder I OHKO'd

Geeta you were mildly troublesome.

THERE'S Nemona! Yeah sure we can be best rivals or whatever now come do a crime with me. We're going crater-diving. Ah, you haven't changed a bit.

awww I'm her treasure. Nemona you realize that's a marriage proposal, right?

oh fuck hr speech there was really cute...Nemona you're actually pretty cool aren't you~ Let's go!

Lycanroc? No biggie, I have a little pink menace with a great big hammer. Orthworm is steel, I think, so get out here Jupe! Dudunsparce is normal, so yeah, Jupe, keep it up! Hee, here comes her own Pawmot, and THIS is why I brought a Ground type onto the team! Goodra? Aighty, let's get Pebbles back in here! Wait, that's five already? Aw well, okay Daya! Just like we did to Geeta!

Nemona didn't change a bit, she just became more of herself.

Now. Nemona. Crimes. Crater. First a little friendship. Thn picking up some fly points I never hit. Now! To Medali! To the Zero Gate!

damn it looks kinda beat up. Oh! New plotline! The Way Home!

Powr saving mode.... eeee Arvn and the girlsquad are going on an adventure~ God I feel so bad for Arven, it must hurtto get treatd like this in front of pople he hasn't trustd with everything...

Nemona, no. We are not going to battle the professor excitingly. We're going to beat her face in.

Oh man...this is SO cool. Are we all gonna ride Koraidon together?

That cutscene. That was everything to me. That was it, that was the essence of everything I seek, everything I long for, everything I dream of. That was the essence of why I always com back to Pokemon.

Koraidon doesn't wanna be here....buddy what happened? ...Oh shit we lost Nmona! How'd she fall off?! She was in the middle!

oh no she's fine

....somthing's off. Arven's reaction here, and his "probably" on identifying his mom earlier...

disable four locks in research stations on the way down. can do!

OH MY GO THEY'RE JUST GONNNA FOLLOW ME AROUND we're really i this together

holy shit the music

holy shit this PLACE. Is this supposd to give me Nier Automata vibes?

lmao my friends trying to compet over who's my bestest frind

i wondr what the fuck even made the crater....like. It's a cratr. Something made it, right?

WOO fighting shit! And Pnny being the straight man to our shenanigans. To the extent that she is either straight or a man, that is.

man vrything here looks so weathred

oh yah rsearch stations man NOTES. Stuff about the origin of the tera phenomenon! Ooh and a telportr.

awww my frinds are bcoming friends!

holy shit so much to explore

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

okay here's the second station

oh that is SO not a jigglypuff. Scram Tail! Jigglypuff, but Screamo!

okay base 2. once again Sada just kind of dropping eaves. Gonna give som plot? oooh ancient pokemon! ...Sada just. Has a time machine. Sh just, has one.

Wait so the ancient pokemon don't liv here naturally, sh just. Brings thm here? Then what the fuck is the cratr?

squints at this convrsation. ...the cost was catastrophic...

It is theoretically possible to travel to the past, but a human can't return to the present. Somehow I get the pictur that's involved with the catastrophic price.

i guess that's reasonable enough. Some conversations are important to have face to face. MOre specifically, within punching range.

Arven....your dialogue here.....

"Paradise will be ours to create" because THAT always ends well....unstable crystals, nrvous financial backers....

i am getting sleepy and also lost

see you in a few line breaks

screams i would like some time to myself. and some focus.

literally like three days later

cheesus christ i have no memory of this place. thre's a big rock with an item on top i can't reach bcause i can't ride koraidon.

something isn't adding up. If the ancint Pokemon were only brought here via time machine, whcih Sada only got working sometime in the last several years....why's there a picture of Great Tusk in the Scarlt Book, and what made the Great Cratr so dangerous?

man the crater goes deep.

...

watches Nemona, Arven, and Penny slowly fall off a cliff and disappear into the abyss?!?!?!?!?!?

found a cave....i have noooo idea how thoroughly i have xplored this bit of the crater...nother research station! eyyyy it's tusky boy. Penny is right that IS kind of a hug problem. Thing is they've been on the prowl for months, if Occulture is to be believed.

oh nemona this is why you're the muscle. Sada just, taking over for Arven.... Koraidon was the first pokemon retrieved from the past, huh...and, yp, confirming that it's the past form of Cyclizar.

...two specimens? why are we assuming they're family. that seems likely to end poorly. i doubt it WILL but like....it COULD. and even if they are family, like??? so were Lusamine and Lillie, look how THAT ended.

'I was expecting one new life to treasure' THAT MEANS ARVEN IT HAS TO

okay that tunnel is clearly the way forward so imma keep exploring here for a bit

hm. Okay. Intrsting history with Koraidon Arven has there, and yeah I see why he felt that way. ...wait. goddammit I ned like, a timeline of Arven's personal history, because who lived where when with whom is not adding up.

Tons of Chansey down here, it'll be great for grinding levels for the dex latr. ...Okay yah I definitely need to explore again when I hav Koraidon. Let's carry on!

WILD SCREAM TAIL I wanna catch it! ...Oh this thing is beefy. Okay just get in the ball, GOT IT alright Pita.

Man...what on earth made this place? "feels like maybe you already died and went somewhere" huh...and yeah Penny im p sure this place is the source of the energy used to terastallize Pokemon.

we must go deeper

...i guess you could say we're gonna get t the bottom of this! ...nmona, no. ...nmona. Nemona, NO. Penny is correct, as ever.

Okay if Sada took Koraidon into th cratr and hasn't com out since, how'd Arven get Koraidon's ball?

Th crystals get biggr the farther down we go...oh what fresh hell is this? What happened in here?

Sada???? U good???

So, I know the game's a bit buggy, but it looks like Sada is too? uhhhh

"That man walked out not long after the boy was born" im sorry? sorry WHOMST? Turo????

....if only. thre were two of me. sada YOU HAVE A TIM MACHINE.

th scond koraidon was broguht later and was aggressive...

"You know what you need to do." All locks released. I feel like I did a bad thing. Like I got tricked into reviving Dracula or instigating the Fall or something.

man do clavll and th othrs even know we're here

WEIRD MISDREAVUS. Flutter Mane....you'r gonna b Yooki. STAY IN TH DAMN BALL. GOT IT, finally, that took like 20 ultra balls.

Metal plate with a wird symbol, and a map of Paldea, and...thre's an enormous crystal here... you know, it would scan if th crystal crashing from space made the crater, I think?

I wonder if I can breed paradox Pokmon or if I'm gonna need to catch som mor the slow way?

what the fuck, ar thos VENTS in th crystal. What the fuck did th crystal absorb the lab?!

This is a much bigger area than thy're gonna let m explore isn't it...oh no wait. WAIT oh my.

Man it's not a Lost Continent plot so much as a Journy to the Center of the Earth plot

where am i

i find it kind of intriguing that Geeta's ace is th pokemon found in abundance all the way down here. Sorry to Arven, Nemona, and Penny, but if thy're gonna let me be the leader they're gonna have to run around, them's the rules.

chews on thoughts and questions and nihilego. glimmora. hmmmm

I am here I hav explord it is time to enter the Zero Lab. I get cell service down here? Sada you're presumably right insid you could come to the door and greet us.

okay the lab really is getting eaten by tera crystals but what is this about them optimizing the performance of machinery? If the tera orbs are made of these crystals why can pokemon centers recharge them?

well. that IS why we brought Nemona.

you dipshits. listen to penny. penny is wise. Oh, you're letting me choose? ...I guess if no is the wrong choice, the game will But Thou Must me. yep it did. but aww, Nmona that's sweet.

guuuuys this is baaaaad....OH SHIT THE OTHER ONE. Oh god it's been lockd outside the lab. Sada said the Pokemon insid would probably make a break for it, but instead, othr Koraidon went in....

they made mine sooooo expressive though like BABY im sorry I brought you here :c

THANK YOU PENNY ugh Nemonaaaaa why.

oh here the other ones come. YES DO IT NEMONA. Oh Scoots is a reliable partner now! Oh no, are Nemona and Penny running off to stop a breach?

oh no is Arvenn staying behind too!?

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay this is a weirdass doorway. oooh dislike that the exit is a hole in the wall. Sciecne stuff....oooh there's sad....eactivating slep mode....

she keeps th aggro one in a mastrball. and sh is a robot. Not hard to see this coming after the trek down hre but....wow POkemon really making some bold moves here.

the real sada is dead...in the incident....ohhh boy. oh shit she sacrificed herself to protect MY koraidon.

Stop the time machin. Sure. That's a sane thing to ask a GODDAMN TWELVE YEAR OLD to do. We're going farther down but ma'am i have snooping to do.

i am going to sic my tinkaton on this mtal lady

Pokeball lock system to defend the lab. Rocklike thing in the tube. A picture of a young boy with a Maschiff...more rocks in tubes.

down w go.... Robosada can't lav because the crystals make her possible.

primal nergy? tera?

no SHIT they wreak havoc on the modern ecosystem!!! anyone with a basic understanding of ecology could have told you that! these things are invasive species of a magnitude ONLY surpassed by literal fucking aliens!

holy shit the robot copy of the profssor has BETTER thics than the professor maybe i don't need to sic my tinkaton on her

okay this place is gorgeous

oh this is why robosada needed th help of a formidible trainer. because i DO need to sic a tinkaton on hr.

To protect my treasure....to protect the whole of Paldea!

Why yes, AI Sada, I am familiar enough with a great many Pokmon to guess at patterns and detect weaknesses even in unfamiliar Pokemon. And yes, my human brain can overcom your wealth of data using two tools: innovation, and brute. fucking. force.

Had a lot of luck play out in defeating her third POkemon...next is Sandy Shocks so I think I want a ground type? aaaaaaaAAAAAAAA. Roaring Moon...I know that one! Oh, that was it? No terastallization?

okay AI down. Time for Feelings. god she really did love Arven, didn't she? She just loved her insane dream more.

oh damn that interface screw....oh shit. Our Pokeballs are locked, other than the ones rgistered to Sada's ID...which means this is designed to allow Sada and the protocol to brutally maul intruders who cannot fight back.

som intnse M.I.K.E. flashbacks ngl

But, thankfully....I have Koraidon. So does she. It? Koraidon, the guardian of paradise. Yeah...yeah, myKoraidon is!

oh DAMN transformation sequnce! We got this, Koraidon! Let's check out your summary bc this is SO cool. Uh, be great if I had the chance to fix this moveset. Hooboy that was close.

i knew I'd hav to trastallize....and I have a superffective tera type and all, plus this will be the first time I've ever used Tera Blast...

Victory is mine

oh...sh has to slfdestruct doesn't she....oh. No. She's going to disappear into the ancint world she loves so much. To unbind herself...and to stop the machin...

whre is the button to hug arven

arven this is your cheerup crew. FRIENDSHIP. holy fuck im almost taring up.

credits roll

[atlasllm]

i think its important to reblog art, especially on tumblr, because reblogged posts are never truly gone.

because you never know what could become lost media.

maybe your friend decided to leave social media years ago, and their blog is now deleted. what'll happen to all the silly doodles they used to post? each shitpost they made that showcased that this was a person; they were here, and made even the slightest impact by making you smile when you refresh your dash and see the cursed meme they sent you.

what about that cool fandom AU that got discontinued? maybe you still love it, or still want to talk about it... but their blog being deactivated makes all the official content harder to find. harder to get into, if some newcomer randomly stumbles into it.

because of how tumblr works, each blog itself is an archive.

i myself have technically archived moments in time; whether that be contributing to the archiving of a discontinued AU whose blogs are so old they've been getting hacked or url changes, or simply reblogging content that is no longer accessible because the blog got deactivated.

and i myself have lost media i can never find.

when i was little, i got very into dramatic littlest pet shop videos; a lot of them are lost to time, maybe to youtube copyright or just those people who want to clear up their internet image and not have their elementary school LPS videos be tied to their name. but they made me happy. it was a reminder of a happier time, away from the pain of getting bullied at school or struggling for hours with homework. i'd love to remember that happiness, even if it's a 240p video filmed by children in 2008. it was such a simple piece of media, but the happiness was so real. but a lot of those videos are gone now; a piece of my life tied to the internet, now lost to its digital sands of time.

and honestly? i feel like that's what embodies why it's so important to archive lost media.

sometimes its the little things that make you happy.

maybe it's that one piece of fanart someone did. maybe it's that AU concept post they made. maybe it's that shitpost they busted out in less than 5 minutes. god knows i've felt this way towards certain tumblr posts, especially from obscure fandoms and such. heck, a lot of lost media cases i've seen involve some obscure piece of media tied to a beloved childhood show.

i think it's nice to reblog art, and maybe one day you'll scroll through a tag on your tumblr page and see that piece of art again; and remember the happiness, remember the past days of interacting with a fandom that maybe you're not OBSESSING over anymore, but still holds a place near and dear to your heart.