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#i've only been thinking about fast
egophiliac · 5 days
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time for skeleman
with the lack of any other info yet, all I can focus on are those Charles Lloyd-looking sunglasses. they are absolutely sending me. I feel like we're gonna fall through a tree or whatever and this stitched-up boney gentleman is gonna pop out from behind a gravestone and start serenading us with some smooth jazz on the saxophone.
or should I say...the saxoBONE???????
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if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.
or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.
regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.
it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.
if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.
i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.
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p1x1x · 4 months
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#momonina#kindof. embarrassed to post this one bc its just pure fluff lmao… theyre so LAME in this pic (/j)#i can hear mmk going ったく…#nn’s outfits are always soooo cute though#waaaaaah i love the fashion….#miiiight color it though..#edit incoming#future pix here#mmnn#<- decided the drawings of the two of em can have momonina in them but if it leans more romo than plato it has mmnn#bc i rotate them in my head so fast#but as the days pass i get really crazy over them being Not Romantic but still More than That#im losing my Mind tbh#the only thing im certain of is that mmk is definitely a lesbian all things considered like look at her LMAO#everytime i rewatch i do consider how gay her actions are...???#(i've been rotating mmnn around in my mind since ep 1 tbh... the codependency was tempting...!)#but i keep thinking abt mmk herself saying “i saw my past self in you” in like. ep 2 already... and it would linger in my mind#i had written in my notes a While back#like when ep 4 was airing#that it just felt like mmk was trying to be kind to her past self ykno#because she believed that the her now... had failed in her dream#so yknow... by giving the guitar she was trying to have nn continue that dream for her (leading into mmk “guiding nn”)#ofc nn gives back her guitar though and i thank that person on twitter everyday for putting it so well#LIKE AGHHH THEIR MEETING WAS FATE BUT THE ACTIONS THEY TOOK TO PULL EACH OTHER UP... KILL ME!!!!#the choices they make regarding themselves... of staying true to themselves... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgjhg#idk how many people will see this edit so im just treating it like the void (haha Void) here#(i've made that joke multiple times to myself now#i still think about. how mmnn were drawn to the honesty of each other#and yet. didnt exactly recognize each other as an actual person yet?#nn loved void and so loved mmk for creating it and saving her life. so mmk was a savior to her
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chimerafeathers · 3 months
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there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front
how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes
all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).
it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?
why can't laios take things seriously for once?
#mypost#i'm majorly out of practice for doing any real critical cohesive writing lol#trying to put this into coherent words has been such a mess so here's a vague gesture at my thought process about it#it's both my favorite and the most frustrating thing to see#because i've seen SO MANY people say they dropped the show after a couple eps thinking they know what it's about and where it's going#a cute but ultimately unsustainable gimmick#people for whom the characters and the food/biology infodumping weren't enough of a hook#but i wouldn't change anything about the structure to put a more obvious plot hook in the beginning#because it would give the game away TOO much#i LOVE how the audience has to acclimate to the characters' attitudes about death#only for our assumption that it's all normal and fine in this world to be thrown back in our faces#how we're left to notice the winged lion appearing in statues and carvings and coins and armor in the background#long long before it's ever brought up as a real entity by the plot#the history of the kingdom laid out in plain view but nevermind that. magic painting food!#i've seen the language around falin and her resurrection cause so much confusion#but of COURSE the characters involved wouldn't directly say 'we need to get her corpse to revive it'#bc pragmatically they already understand that as their goal. it doesn't need to be stated out loud; it's just how this process works.#but also they don't SEE her as an object. a dead body.#they need to 'save her before she's digested.' 'the spell couldn't reach her in the dragon's stomach.' 'hang in there falin'#death isn't real to them. not really. and so it doesn't quite feel real to the audience either#not until they find her skull and that realization slams home#like......i keep comparing it to gravity falls#which is episodic and goofy in the beginning but also has a much more obvious plot hook to keep people interested#(a main character entering a secret bunker indicating that he's lying about his ignorance of the town's mysteries)#the main characters in gravity falls are AWARE that there is a mystery to be solved and are trying to find more information#but i don't think that approach would work as well for dm!#laios's goals were never that lofty. not until they HAD to be because the situation demanded it of him#it's the characters trying to solve one personal problem and finding themselves entrenched in something vast and dramatic#that they weren't even fully AWARE of when they set out. and we the audience are on that journey with them!#it's SUCH a good structure i wouldn't trade it for anything. but also. tragic to see people give up and dismiss it so fast.
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heroinetales · 25 days
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So I started playing Outer Wilds several days ago and it's such an intriguing game. I've died so many times but only 2 of the deaths have been from the supernova if that tells you anything lmao
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getting back on my drawing slowly but surely ^^ here's an aleena
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sth aleena#aleena the hedgehog#sorta vent in tags but its more rambling TDLR i got injured right after the other stuff lol :sob:#just a tw for xacto knives & vomitting#I probably would have gotten back sooner but I ended up having a pretty nasty accident with an Xacto knife#design students remember your xacto safety and dont end up like me#my mom says it's probably because I was distracted with other events so I wasn't paying as much attention as i should have#you always feel like they're overreacting about safety till you end up in an accident :skull:#or well#Ive been cut before with Xactos but they weren't from cutting straight against a ruler and not realizing your finger is in the way#they were mostly because of how I'd accidentally push my finger too close to the back of the knife#and circles#“Go fast with a lot of pressure” - my design teacher's instructions on straight lines... yeah. I did that.#It's kinda crazy though cause I've gotten worse injuries but HOLY FUCK#Like yeah. Spraining my ankles hurt... burns hurt... that time my elbow just decided to be unbearably painful for no reason#that last one still confuses me cause what the hell??? anyways this time was just#an actual ridiculous amount of pain for what it was#I threw up 5 times from the pain all at once... which has only ever happened before with the elbow thing#at least this was an actual reason. unlike the elbow... which I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND IT WAS SEARING PAIN LIKE WHAT THE HELL????#anyways#Now that it doesnt hurt as bad it's kinda neat to look at#and think about in hindsight cause it bled a lot :sob:
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juicedbeetle · 2 years
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I just love when he does creacher shit like this so much
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fridayyy-13th · 1 month
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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🌷🕸️
#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while#but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary#and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good#not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone#like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and#never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway#like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it#which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl 💀#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head#plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable#is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it#i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me#i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao#hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast#now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk#i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it#and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little#thing/feeling/experience#now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so#umm what do i do now? 💀#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way#ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T
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sovonight · 5 months
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i was really hoping to get your original stan and ford charms will they be back in stock at somepoint?
i have a couple leftovers that i'll be able to list when the ddamd ford standee restock comes in ^^
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coulsonlives · 1 year
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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leadendeath · 5 months
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Y'know, I've always wondered how Doom made you a furry. I know nothing about that game so I'm curious lol
it's pretty simple, but a domino effect type situation goin on:
i have a thing for THESE satyr-like Thangs
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(the baron of hell)
they are furry-adjacent enough to me i guess, and after i started playing doom in 2020/21 -> my interest in furryism grew as well alongside it -> i ended up making my fursona (the minotaur demon in my icon) as a kind of self-insert to be alongside the other demons (but he became his own thing too, and my primary fursona). we are monster4monster here mate ;D
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parkakeet · 9 months
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growing up is realizing that instead of people telling your mom that your hair is pretty in the grocery store, people are going to start making jokes about not wanting to be friends with you cause you're ginger, asking you invasive questions about your pubic hair, and telling you how much they hate the color orange after commenting on how that's the color your hair is 🥰
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simmingonthelow · 1 year
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Some of my 1st/2nd/3rd/4th gen sims that I aged up and/or updated in the save I've been playing for 2 years (I think its that amount of time....the point is this is my main save for a long time). This is 27 out of 207 sims! And then there's another version of my simself in the last row (middle). 3 sims included here were made not born.
If you see this why don't you share the save you're currently doing with some of your favourite (or otherwise) born sims. I'm tagging you viewer!
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shield-and-saber · 1 month
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yeah, so i just finished cataclysm
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#spoilers in tags#do not read unless you've already gone thru phase 2#the high republic liveblogging#the high republic spoilers#cataclysm#i am....... in agony#i spent pretty much the entire last 20 pages crying#I THOUGHT I WAS HEARTBROKEN WHEN AIDA ACTUALLY DIED. SO IMAGINE MY PAIN WHEN THE LAST LINE TO REFERENCE HER SAYS#''[ENYA ZIRI AND PHAN-TU'S LAUGHTER] ECHOED THROUGH THE TEMPLE HALLS AND MADE THE OTHER JEDI SMILE BECAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE AIDA'S LAUGHTER'#SHUT THE FUCK UP#SHUT UP#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME#THE FIRST THING CREIGHTON DID WHEN HE WOKE UP WAS TRY TO FIND HER#I'M DISINTEGRATING AS WE SPEAK#WHAT THE FUCK#CREIGHTON TAKES ON ENYA???? THEY'RE GONNA HELP EACH OTHER THRU THEIR GRIEF??? HE BEFRIENDED THE MED DROID?????????#the entire funeral for the 3 fallen jedi had me fucking sobbing btw i was a mess#also. wasn't expecting this but axel's redemption did end up winning me over. i was so sure i would continue to hate him#he's very much in love w/ gella and that means i love him very much as well#cataclysm also keeps up a 2/2 record that it shares w/ convergence by way of:#gella nattai says a deeply profound and spiritually moving/comforting line in each book and it hits me right in my religious trauma#the whole 2nd half of the book was incredible. i quite literally spent about 7 hours reading it as fast as i possibly could#i'm not the biggest fan of certain parts of kang's writing but her strength ABSOLUTELY lies in describing battle scenes#those were the easiest to read battle sequences i've ever read in my life and that's out of the entire phase 2 + other prequel books#i think the only other book whose combat didn't confuse me was the 1st republic commando but it's been long enough that i'm not sure#chancellor greylark is so interesting i'm obsessed and also the end scenes w/ her and axel had me weeping like a babe#anyways. that's all for now#my posts
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mikesbasementbeets · 1 year
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something something night changes happy birthday to my gay son
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