#ideal experience. would cosmic event there again

[jumpscaregoose]

briefly turning into a travel blog to talk about seeing the eclipse today because it was fucking awesome alright

this is my new favourite picture I've ever taken, this is my iphone's approximation of what totality looked like where I watched it

I was lucky enough to live within a few hour's drive of totality so my family and I drove out to waterford, ontario to see it (might as well say where I was because I'm posting very identifiable landscapes and am not there anymore. highly recommend going there if you're in the area). we literally only chose to go there because my mom picked it randomly from a map. thank you mom that was a great choice

it was cloudy as shit when we first arrived so we were a bit worried. and then while wandering around on a bridge we met the most stereotypical small town canadian old man ever shoutout to him he was awesome.

waterford also has a 10/10 banger small museum in a FORMER PICKLE FACTORY of all places and that would have been worth going by itself. today they had an exhibit of locally created skateboard art pieces (painted and decorated skateboards) in addition to their regular agricultural stuff and MASTODON LEG!!!!!!!

there's also an old railway bridge within walking distance of downtown and I love trains AND bridges so off course I had to go see that. except the trails from the museum don't connect to the bridge. however! the youth of waterford served me well because right off the trail there was a worn-down path between the brush that led up under the bridge and around on top. I would have climbed through the brush if I had to though I was Committed to this bridge.

like look at this view. fucking gorgeous

even stumbled across some familiar faces making a nest on the bridge... these guys were really chill and I was above them behind a railing so I didn't worry about getting mauled

and as is obvious from these photos the cloud cover had totally cleared up by this point (and the eclipse had started)

here's an attempted cellphone-plus-eclipse-glasses photo that didn't really work. you can see the missing part of the sun though

we sat in a park with around 200 other people to watch the eclipse and totality here was around 3:18 pm

and oh my god totality. so worth it. everything was weirdly dim for 15 minutes before and after and they do not lie about it getting colder. I had to put my jacket on so I didn't freeze. birds were chirping like crazy and the street lights came on. I watched most of the eclipse entering totality through my glasses but took them off a biiiiiiiiiitttt too early and saw the diamond ring effect, which was also gorgeous.

totality was really dark, way more than in my photos, and it looked like there was a sunrise 360 degrees around on the horizon.

here's a worse photo because you can scroll up to see the good one

the sun looks like a donut in all my pictures but in real life it was just like in all the, well, better pictures

and then totality ended and we skedaddled out of there before traffic got crazy. and then we got stuck in a bit of traffic because the traffic lights had not been reconfigured for the massive amount of people.

[huntertherapyeras]

@elle-cosmic-chaos

OH OMG IM SO EXCITED TO ANSWER THIS!!!!!!

so pronouns:

-anne is a trans girl and uses she/her exclusively. she comes out and socially transitions when she is five or six.

-sasha is bigender. before he comes out, she uses just she/her. once he comes out, she uses she/he alternating, but he is also cool with just he/him as an aux set. it takes a long while for him to come out though, she starts grappling more with gender at the start of the story (8th grade, so around 13) and doesn't come out for realsies until hhe's 14 (and even then she only comes out to anne and marcy). when they're all adults, he is fully out though, and mostly uses he/him around people who don't know about alternating pronouns.

-marcy is agender! before they come out, they use she/her. after they come out (probably like later in high school because they're kind of neutral about pronouns and don't have a Lot of dysphoria), they use they/them! but they're ok with people who don't know they're agender using she/her also. it's not like a Huge Deal to them, though they do prefer they/them and in an ideal world would like to to just be referred to neutrally.

while there are gonna be some fics about them first starting gymnastics at 4/5, most of the plot events are placed when they are 13 and older! still trying to figure out an overarching plot, it's developing slowly. slow roasting, if you will. just like them rotisserie chickens :)

this fic was mostly developed as a way for me to connect my gymnastics special interest (and extensive experience) to my current hyperfixation (amphibia). i can't teach gymnastics anymore because of my chronic illness, so i really miss it! this au was a way for me to enjoy something near and dear to me again, and in a way i can still partake in no matter where my health takes me!

i would say that the main themes of this story are growing up, dealing with the joys and difficulties that come with being a young athlete, learning to love yourself even when you have limitations, emotional growth, and healing from the past and present <3

very excited about this project!

[welkynars]

All of Morrowind seemed to be silent the day Vivec emerged from the Clockword City with the bodies of his fellow Tribunes.

The Living God walked in a dignified stride in front of the few Buoyant Armigers who had accompanied hir. Lady Almalexia and Lord Sotha Sil draped lifeless over the arms of the two uncomfortable mer stationed behind Vivec. Holding the corpse of your deity was not ideal to the soldiers, but they had little choice but obey when Vivec told them to carry them. Crowds of nobles and peasants alike parted to allow the procession to pass through on their way to pyre where the Tribunes would be honorably cremated. Young children hid behind legs, while their mothers stared wide-eyed. Men looked to the ground with lumps in their throat as older, thoroughly religious women quietly wailed into the arms of their sons. 

The Dunmer were terrified. The Blight, though over, still weighed heavy on their souls. When the news that not one, but two of their gods had perished, chaos ensued. The Great Houses, Indoril especially, panicked. What did this mean? House Dunmer culture was rooted in their faith, how would this affect politics? Day to day life? Would the citizens turn their back on the Temple? Morrowind would surely perish without the Tribunes protection and wisdom. 

Their Lord Vivec’s expression was unreadable as ze took his god-siblings and placed them on the pyre. Deep inside hir, ze felt hir supposedly lost mortality flare in anger at the sight of the Nerevarine solemnly standing with her head bowed. But hir composure was kept as ze turned to face the fearful crowd. Hir speech was swift and short, unlike the usual beguiling words his people expected from hir. An uncomfortable grief had made itself home in hir, now was not the time to use metaphors and a magical tongue to confuse and reassure hir subjects. Ze allowed the Nerevarine to tell the story of the Tribunes' demise- how a powerful sorceress had murdered the Clockwork God and released his mechanisms into Almalexia’s beloved city to lure her in and drive a sword through her heart. Ignoring the people’s bewildered expressions(how had one woman defeated two gods?), Vivec sent a subtle nod of thanks to the Nerevarine for her deception, for ze knew her words were fabricated without having been told. “Lady Almalexia and Lord Sotha Sil were once heroes, let them be remembered as such,” the Hortator would later tell hir. The irony of those words being spoken by Nerevar-reborn was not lost on hir.

Vivec saw how hir subjects looked towards hir for guidance. The Nerevarine was their hero of legend, and her presence was of great significance, but Vivec was their God. Ze was meant to be their guidance in trying times, to lead them to the next great chapter of Morrowind’s story. Ze had been there through terrible wars and occupations. Hir sharp tongue blessed them with laughter and hope and hir riddles gave them motivation to love and care for their homeland more than any race on Tamriel (even at the expense of others). Today, ze offered them nothing.

The Living God was weary, and hir weariness was continuing to grow into exhaustion. Divine power being drained out of you like a cosmic vacuum was not a pleasant nor an easy experience. Hir empire, once greater than the warriors of Yokuda, was dying. Hir Divine Brother and Sister (who he once called his friends, long ago) had fallen. Everything they’d built from the ashes of a troubled land had perished. 

And ze’d known the day would come. Ze was a god, after all. Ze knew everything and nothing all at once. What ze didn’t know was the grief that would follow. The aching sensation of a long forgotten feeling, deep in hir body, squeezing hir lungs and pounding on hir stomach. What was ze meant to do now? How could ze console an entire province, keep an entire race stable when ze can’t even predict hir own reaction to an event ze’d already foreseen? 

The Nerevarine followed hir with a watchful eye as ze retreated from the ceremony prematurely, dismissing the Armigers who attempted to follow hir. The crowd of Dunmer now hardly noticed hir absence in their mourning. She felt what ze was feeling, to an extent. Someone inside of her, someone she didn’t know but was a part of her, felt the same sadness; the same longing for a different time. A happier time. 

The Great Temple meant to house the remains of Mother Morrowind and Clockwork God took four months to build, from Rain’s Hand to Last Seed. Located in the heart of Necrom, it was a great temple of lava rock and stone, crafted by the finest materials Morrowind had to offer, guarded by the fiercest Dunmeri warriors. The magister’s of House Telvanni assisted in the construction, as the magic used to build this holy place could only be done by those adept in ancient Dunmeri practices, of course. House Indoril nobles bickered over schematics and design, and even House Hlaalu offered their finest craftsmen for the construction. All the while, Vivec stayed holed in hir chambers for most of this time, only accepting the occasional pilgrim. Ze never dared visit the temporary temple the Tribune’s ashes were being held during the construction. Did ze even dare visit the Great Temple after it’s construction?

Ze did. After a long while, of laying in piles of crumpled up parchment with failed poetry, ze made the trek to Necrom to visit hir friends. The temple was grandeur, far from hir own humble beginnings. The inside was littered with candles and offerings of all sorts; flowers and fruit and clockwork gears and unlit incense. Large, intricate statues of the ALMSIVI reached the ceiling. In the center sat the ash pit of Almalexia, Mother Morrowind, the heart of the Dunmer. To the left, Sotha Sil, and to the right, at Vivec’s request, an empty ashpit, meant for hir. 

“How sad of a sight this is, old friend,” Vivec spoke to Sotha Sil as if he were there, pouring a part of hir bottle of flin in the ash and settling hirself on the stone floor. “We’d spoken of this moment. What the other would have wanted of the temple. You, Ayem,” A memory of a smile ghosted across hir face and ze turned to Almalexia’s statue. “What a handful you are. You sent the Houses in circles trying their best to fulfill your wishes. But you deserve nothing less, my queen.” 

Silence, again. Such a quiet and cold room for them to rest in. Their souls were too bright for this. 

“We spoke of it often,” Ze continued. “However, we never considered that one, but not three, that two, but not all of us would go. What else am I to do now? How am I to look over our people without the other halves of me? I am unwhole.”

Vivec sighed. A sound that carried through the whole temple. A mouse in the corner scurried into its hide. 

“They still love us, they still follow our teachings, but how long will that last? Time changes culture and tradition quickly and you are not here to help me guide it,” Ze whispered the next part quietly. “How long will I last?”

Somewhere, in a land unknown by anyone but herself, the Nerevarine woke with a start. An unbearable sadness settled through her and tears welled in her eyes. 

“There is nothing left for me in Morrowind, my dearest friends. I must leave.”

Vivec was standing now, slowly making hir way to the temple door. Hir legs ached and hir eyes were sunken. Ze was sickly. 

“Don’t be mistaken, this is not the end of us. We will not die out to history.”

The Nerevarine held her head in her hands, breathing harsh and fast. 

“The ending of the words is still ALMSIVI.”

[veryvincible]

Hey! 👋🏼 I was looking at Tonys panel with Carol and his AA panels. It got me thinking how can a person like Tony .. who is an atheist, a believer of science and a confident engineer rely on AA which has a religious foundation (the 12 steps) and place so power on God. I know secular AA have different takes on it and encourage a personal definition of God as any higher power the person may choose. But doesn’t that defeat Tonys belief? Because I don’t think he believes in a higher power regardless if it’s a deity or not.

This is a wonderful question. There’s a lot of nuance to the answer, in my opinion, because I think there are some things called into question here that Tony (very realistically) treats with a lot of complexity.

Firstly, Tony’s atheism is kind of... I don’t want to say it’s up in the air, because at this point, I think it’s kind of made its place in canon and fanon both. But, most likely as a result of the times in which he was created, he has been shown in canon (at least in the early stages of his life) to follow some sort of organized religion. This is from Iron Man Vol. 1 #164, and it’s... not strong evidence for him being a spiritual man, as most people who call themselves “not that religious” tend to be religious by way of traditions, but. You know. It is what it is.

Of course, we could dismiss this as yet another thing that early canon imposed on a character who wouldn’t be like that at this point in time, but I think it brings up interesting beats in the way Tony’s character has progressed over the years.

Considering him as someone who may have been raised as traditionally religious makes sense in the context of defining events, as well, given that we watch him pray the Lord’s prayer in #14 of Iron Man Vol. 4, one of his Civil War tie-ins.

Given the proximity to the alcohol (and the point he’s at in the timeline, here), one could also easily assume that even if he had no religious background, the very presence of the Lord’s prayer in AA meetings could have formed a connection in his head between this “worship” and sobriety-- at the very least, enough of one that the prayer strengthens the effectiveness of his willpower. It seems the little push he needs to pour a drink down the drain is borderline Pavlovian.

There’s actually a lot of religious imagery in Tony comics in general. He’s a man with a suit facing conundrums of cosmic proportions. It’s difficult for him to keep rationale exclusively within the range of earthly probabilities.

Point is, his atheism doesn’t come from his disbelief in a higher power. It’s quite the contrary, actually. His atheism comes from a belief that there’s no single entity that could claim the title of God, that any being willing to try has, just by being, already forfeited the title.

Which is a fair assessment to make, given that he’s fought many people claiming to be Gods, and they’ve all bled. He’s also watched people worship Gods that turned out to not... really be Gods, whether they were otherworldly beings, his buddy Thor, or, uh, himself. The idea of him, at least. In space.

Because of course that happened.

But Tony actually does have a higher power to give himself up to in these meetings. In Civil War II #1, he very explicitly states it:

“I respect the future. I believe in the future. I worship at its feet.”

“The Future” to him is something he can affect, certainly, but he’s aware of just how massive it is, just how massive all of time is compared to the few decades he’ll spend on earth. This is his higher power, his cosmic deity of choice.

It can’t bleed. It can’t falter. It’s inevitable.

And this mindset is... pretty in line with everything else he’s done. He’s referred to himself as a “necessary monster.” He’s implied many times over that he thinks he’s rotten and potentially dangerous, but he’s also intelligent and capable and he wants to do the right thing, even if he doesn’t always know what that is. 

If you’ve ever been in a religious environment, you’ll probably recognize his mindset going into any problem: there’s always a solution, always information he’s missing, always a “right choice” he’s looking for with a domino effect that’ll be as favorable as possible for future generations. He trusts in the future the way people trust in God, with an awareness that he’ll never have all the pieces to make sense of everything, but he can have enough information to act. And he must act, or else his worth, his right to be alive, even, is at stake.

So, needless to say, he’s not praying to a mainstream God. But religious imagery isn’t and has never been off-putting to him, and though he certainly could seek out unreligious (is that a word?) alternatives to AA, I find it hard to believe that he would, given just how influential his higher power of choice is as it guides him through life. He puts everything at stake for it, going so far as to make choices that will destroy not only himself, but also his relationships with his loved ones if it means he’s doing what he perceives to be the right thing.

Secondly, even if he were a man who had no belief in any form of higher power, not even a stand-in for it, AA still might not be something he’d discard in favor of an alternative.

Religion serves as a guide. Most often, it has “do”s and “do not”s, certain beliefs it supports, and a kind of... basic explanation of what human life is and how it should be treated. One of the more common threads among most religions that I’m aware of (I am not an expert in religious studies; please don’t @ me) is the idea that human life is generally sacred, and as such, people should treat each other with respect. Yes, some texts can contradict this, but the general rule is “be nice to each other!” when you really look at the basics of what people are trying to teach. At its core, religion is linked to what we as humans already tend to for the sake of survival: compassion.

As such, though we might not always identify with religion as a concept, it’s not difficult to identify with some religious morals and teachings. Some people take to certain teachings better than others-- it’s super case-by-case-- but if you’re stuck in a religious environment listening to some preaching or anything, there’s probably going to be something you can relate to, and some way you can morph and adopt the message. This isn’t, like, all-encompassing, by the way. Of course there are some things that atheists and religious folk will never be able to relate to within each other, but.

You get what I mean.

I’m an atheist myself. I spent a chunk of my schooling at a religious institution. At best, there were messages that affected me deeply (as they were hard-hitting even when I stripped them of the God-worshipping aspects). At worst, I had to grit my teeth through some assignments, though I felt mostly indifferent (if slightly resentful at times, more out of frustration with the closed-mindedness of the administration than with the concept of religion itself). My experience isn’t universal, of course-- some people in my shoes were more frustrated and angry than I was, and I can see why. But my point is, being an atheist in and of itself (even one as strict as Tony) doesn’t render religious imagery useless.

For example, if you happen to pass by a pastor preaching about struggles with guilt, you might not identify with the sentiment of “Give your worries to God and know He’ll take care of you.” However, you could identify with the sentiment of, “Those little things, those side effects of decisions you’ve made? They’re here. Those decisions have been made. You’re allowed to swallow past the reality of what it is that’s passed and move on. You’re allowed to let go of it, so long as you’re better today than you were yesterday.”

It’s especially easy to do this if you’re listening to or being exposed to content from a religion you’re already familiar with; in Tony’s case, if we assume he was a Christian at one point or was raised with Christian ideals (not unbelievable in the slightest, given his circumstances and upbringing), then he wouldn’t have to do a lot of heavy lifting in order to get to “core messages” of certain Christian teachings that he could still identify with. Couple that with the higher power mentioned before, and... it’s not hard to see what might be appealing to him about AA, and it’s not hard to see why it was so effective at sticking in his mind all the way through his darkest periods in life.

Now comes the less healthy part.

There’s also an aspect of self-flagellation to it that I feel Tony might identify with on a deeper level. We’ve seen him hate himself openly, and we know how he regards himself. Even if he managed to find himself in a courthouse-like environment where the religious undertones were more about judgment than recovery, I don’t know that that would necessarily... push him away? He’s already told himself there’s something rotting and evil at his core many times over. He’s already committed himself to a lifestyle of atonement and progress, punishing himself when he fails to accomplish things no human reasonably could and barely praising himself when he doesn’t fail. Do I think these kinds of meetings would be totally sustainable for him, given that he clearly needs to feel pride or relief on some level for conquering his demons? No, not really, but. I don’t think he’d abandon them straight away.

Besides, every healing environment he’s been shown in has been more on the welcoming, open side, even if we only get to see a bare bones interpretation of AA (with deeper exploration happening more with Tony’s response to it, or his and Carol’s responses to each other) in canon. He’s in a good place with it, and it’s very nice to see.

Tl;dr: Again, great question. At the end of the day, I think the combination of self-loathing, his desire for progress, and his conceptualization of “the future” as his higher power makes AA a good fit for him despite his lack of a belief in "God” as an entity.

[kathyprior4200]

Let Us Rise by Marquis Phenex

Let me tell you a tale

That happened long ago

You may already know the legend

But still I shall speak it so

 Back before the Earth was made

Before life-giving air

Far within the cosmos

The Lord God was there

 Some say he’s an omnipotent being

Appearing as a wise man

One with his son Jesus Christ

The whole universe is His plan

 Others say that’s not so

That He doesn’t exist at all

While some say He’s actually Satan

Here to answer our call

 Or perhaps God is the universe itself

Where atoms and molecules collide

The truth is, none of us know

I’ll let you decide

 No matter the case, at the Creator’s own pace

Heaven emerged so bright

Cyan skies, fluffy clouds

And a realm of pure delight

 Endless room to fly around

There stood palaces of gold

Dancing angels were abound

Songs were sung and stories were told

No one ever grew sick or old

 The Angelorium was a marvelous place

Where we had our council meetings

Were we discussed comings and goings

And where we did our greetings

 We enjoyed feasts and epicurean dishes

Golden fruits and divine fishes

Divine wine that flowed so fine

Only the greatest place to dine

 Yes, our Father created all of us

Lucifer was the first

The bright and perfect Morning Star

Seeking knowledge to quench his thirst

 Shortly after, his siblings were created

Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Jophiel, Zadkiel

And many others more

The Archangels and the various hierarchies

Kept cosmic order, law, and records to store

 Then one day, Father decreed

His new adventurous plan

He decided to conjure a new experiment

And he called his creation “Man.”

 At first glance, there was nothing special

About this new species’ birth

A land of earth and sea appeared

And He called it “Earth.”

 You humans were truthfully

Little more than ants to us

But we peered further in

And you were quite marvelous

 Thousands of years of evolution

You grew and you learned

But you also stole natural resources

None of which you earned

 Humanity was quite weak

Mortal and flawed in mind

But you also had a great ability

To create more of your own kind

 As we’re immortal, we have no need

To create more of us

No fears for thousands of years

That’s the way it has been, thus

 Now many of us were neutrally pleased

As far as humanity would go

But while we felt this way

For Lucifer it was not so

 Lucifer was God’s favorite

He took his status in stride

A new change after many centuries

Conjured a spark in his pride

 Everyone has flaws

God does as well

Everything is not as it seems

It is best not to dwell

 A million new thoughts

Had crossed the morning Star’s head

Why are these humans so special?

When they’ll all just be dead?

We angels were here first

Our superiority is first in line

If humans will not improve themselves

Then with this, I am not fine.”

 But God favoring humans was not the only reason

That Lucifer felt a sudden chill

Like cold after a warm season

All seemed eerily still

Besides being mistrustful of humans

Flying out of range

Lucifer noticed other things not seen before

Things that were quite strange

 All his brethren performed their duties

Like clockwork through and through

It was the same process day after day

That’s all they had to do

No questions were asked at all

No self-expression was allowed

The true kind that frees your mind

Feelings that make one truly proud

Stern rules to stifle creativity

Damnation threats for the smallest mistake

And after many years of submission

It was too much for him to take

  Lucifer strode to his Father and said loud and clear

“What is the meaning of this? What is it that you fear?

Why do you create random beings,

Pets in a lab to analyze?

And why do you impose standards on us

Before our very eyes?”

And He replied, “Listen Son,

“There is reason in everything I do,

To keep angels and humans in good harmony. You don’t have a clue.

To prevent chaos, traditions are set in their ways,

Be an obedient son and do your duty all your days.”

 Lucifer was about to do just that

But he knew in his heart

That it wouldn’t be right

To let pure happiness be torn apart

 Now here’s a major event

You may have heard before

Did it happen? No one is sure

The first Heaven-Hell War

 Now some say Seraphim Lucifer

Gathered his brethren and chose to depart

From paradise for they

Sought freedom and joys of the heart

But the common version does tell

Of how a prideful Lucifer did rebel

Gathered 1/3 of the angels to his side

Led by his jealousy and pride

(‘Tis not the story version to which we abide)

Tired of his Father’s current rule

He sought his throne and his dream to reign

Like Zeus overthrew his father Chronus

A vicious cycle again and again

But alas, his efforts were in vain

 After three days, Michael implored

His bother to stop, to which he ignored

“End this madness,” said he,

“Live our peaceful lives. Obedience is key.”

As Lucifer replied, “I find you are blind,

To what is really going on,

No matter what is asked of you

You grovel and submit and worship in song

Without regard to how you truly feel

I don’t want to fight you either

But if we could enlighten all worlds together

Be more than El’s believer.”

With tears in his eyes, Michael shook his head

“I’m sorry, brother, but instead,

The rules must be followed

Heaven has no need for your greed

It’s a hard truth to swallow

To keep our land in perfection

To support our Lord every day

By His decree, I must send you away.”

 With a swoop and slash of Michael’s sword of fire

Lucifer endured burns most dire

Sharp relentless pains never-ending

And before long, he felt himself descending

Further and further down

As trumpets let out their sound

Lucifer and his comrades

Fallen, defeated, banished

Flames licked at their wings

Until all their glorious feathers vanished

In curls of sparks and ash

They screamed in agony and despair

They plummeted fast

Like meteors crashing toward the Earth

In flashes of light they fell and fell

Until landing in the fires and brimstones of Hell

 They got up with shaking legs

Battered and bruised everywhere

But as they were immortal

They had survived their fall then and there

Lucifer knew that something was amiss

As he stood in the dark Abyss

Was this His plan all along?

To let them fall as a warning

Of what happens to those in the wrong?

With nowhere left to roam

The darkness was now their home

Fiery lakes, smoke and monsters appeared

Filled with suffering and things they suddenly feared

In this new environment

Adaptation was a requirement

Survival of the fittest and strong

The weak would not last long

So the fallen angels morphed in their sorrow and wrath

Gaining animal-like features

Sharp fangs, claws, dark powers

Soon becoming demon creatures

No knowing what else to do

They flew and slew and cities they blew

Losing control of their former selves

The same would happen if it were you

 With the last of his grace

Lucifer scanned the place

And knew what to do

With Beelzebub at his side

Regaining his pride

He spoke to his subjects

“Rise or be fallen forevermore!

When opportunity dies, create another door.

Wounded and weary, our paradise lost

But the price of free will is always worth the cost.

Don’t believe me? Follow me now.

Our former glories will be restored somehow.

After we’re all settled, I have a plan

To help decide the future of Man.”

 Soon enough the capital Pandemonium

Was erected in gold and precious gems galore

Towering pillars, sigils on every door

The palace larger than the tallest demons

Allowing everyone to fit

The citizens had their human-like flaws

But never knew how to quit

 The Infernal Council was founded

Structure more grounded

Demon in various ranks

Of kings, dukes, princes, judges

Everything in between

Adapting to times unseen

  Now I believe

You know the Christian story of Adam and Eve?

Mankind’s first fall and sin

A loss or a hidden win?

Adam’s first wife Lilith

Wanted to be equal to him

But Adam was told she had to submit

Things were looking grim

Lilith soon left Eden, refusing to come back

Representing sexual freedom

But no freedom there was but a lack

  God then made for Adam from his rib

A more submissive partner Eve

Both loved each other very much

But were also new and naïve

Around the natural Eden

They could roam mindlessly unbidden

But the Tree of the Knowledge

Of Good and Evil was forbidden

A forbidden tree with forbidden fruit

Right in plain sight

If God forbade them to eat from it

Guarding it would have been a method more bright

 Then legends say

Satan appeared as a snake

Tempting Eve to eat the apple

Leaving destruction in their wake

Eve then gave the apple to Adam

In some versions, fully knowing the cost

He purposefully ate it too, not wanting Eve lost

With flaming swords in hand

Angels bid the first humans away

From paradise’s golden gates

To the rest of the world that day

Michael then told Adam

Of biblical events to come

While God punished

Eve with future pains of labor

And both with death until it was said and done

 Did Lucifer and Satan (or alternatively Lilith) desire

For mankind to fail and decay by fire?

Or perhaps to your surprise

The devil alternatively whispered to Eve:

“Stop living lies.

Eat the fruit and you’ll be free

To live through joy and despair like me

Or wander around in brainwashed bliss

To remain stagnant with knowledge to miss

You are destined to fall and die

God has made it so

He’s testing you and knows you’ll fail

Resist temptation to no avail

Man and woman are made to be equal

Though God says man must rule

If you’re content to be sheep

No free will to keep

Consider yourself a fool

You will know as much as God does

But in a different way

For in time you’ll learn that you’re your own God

You’ll make the most of every day.”

 Now none of us angels and demons

Are against God and the faithful per se

There is wisdom in every religion

Goodness in Christ, originally that way

Religions ancient and new

Originally promoted humanitarian kindness too

But as time went by with more power to take

Ideals and values became shallow and fake

Killing, raping and converting thousands more

Endless bloody crusades, witch hunts, destruction of land

Wars over faith, no logic to understand

An unhealable hole in humanity, too grand

Suffering, racism, bigotry

All in the name of their God, you see

Their God that humanity corrupted

After concern for fellow men was brashly interrupted

The real God and Jesus would never wish that it was so

But dominant history wins and there you go

  We demons are against bigotry, the ignorant

And all those who try to shut down

The basic human rights of free-will and responsibility

Authoritarianism must drown

It is not Satan who promotes sinful indulgence

And harsh authoritarianism

It is only your social systems

That keep you imprisoned

  And as if our historic fall wasn’t enough

Many of us endured

Our entrapment by King Solomon

Thus more events concurred

He put 72 of us in a vessel

Abused us with blasting rods

Made us build temples and do his will

Like he was one of the gods!

He had wives and gold and luxury

A part of history, an occult trend

But before long, time went on

And he too, met his end

We demons were eventually freed

To aid magicians and roam

From Earth to Hell and back again

But neither realm our true home

We hope to return to heavenly paradise

Where angels, demons and humans

Can someday be themselves as one, so true

(Though it’s hard at times to collaborate with angels, too)

  Much of humanity has been brainwashed

But the angels much more so

For while some humans can question what they see

Angels don’t know how to say no

How can they? Their purpose is to serve

God and some humans, more than they deserve

Like us demons, angels are powerful

Loving liberal science, magic and song

But be rude and make the wrong move

They’ll let you know why you’re wrong

  Angels, demons, other gods and spirits

Fascinated by humanity

We’re just here to watch the result

Whether a blessing or a calamity

Despite your mundane lifestyles

We want what is best for you

To help humanity grow and see progress that’s true

Like the angels we used to be

And still are inside

We are divine on our own

And take conflicts in stride

  God and Christianity are not to blame

It is merely society’s institutions

That puts your race to shame

Thousands of years of corruption and conversion

It’ll take a thousand more for healing

But alas, alternate views and change for the majority

Of humanity is not appealing

To truly get into paradise

Save yourselves in the here and now

Indulge responsibly, do not bow

Respect living things as sisters and brothers

Even though it may be hard

Cherish and forgive the ones you love

But always stay on guard

However you see God or Mother Nature or the Universe

Make Him proud by

Doing the right thing

And do more than try

You are His treasured experiment

Will you succeed in the temporary trial of life?

  Supernatural entities can harm or help you out

But you must first help and protect yourselves, no doubt

Pray as you may, conjure and chant

We are the guides to your self-will and rant

Yes, a few of us see humans

As insignificant as bugs

But many of us can be your friends

Even giving spiritual hugs

  We demons serve under Lucifer, Satan, Lilith, etc.

We have a culture of our own

Some of us are demonized pagan gods

Stolen from what was first known

Most of us are fallen angels

A perilous transformation to embark

But through it all, we survived the fall

And learned to embrace the dark

There’s dark and light in everything

Balance is a must

With your world and ours being complex

How do you know who to trust?

  We endured a horrific fall

We lost all we had

But the ignorance of angels and humans

That’s what drives us mad

You see, black and white is not in the right

Some angels are friendly and warm

But others will push you away

If you don’t follow the norm

There are good and bad demons too

Nothing like you’d expect

Us demons are wise and open to you

Provided you show respect

We’re not afraid to keep you on your toes

If it means you’ll learn good lessons

As everything goes

   Keep demonizing us demons

And the poor and flawed without care

We’ll just watch as you discriminate to death

And destroy yourselves in despair

Or for those open with a change of heart

Who know that none of us are truly apart

Rise from the ashes of atrocity

And fly within the flames of fellowship

  If you dare to fully embrace yourself

All aspects flawed and fine

Through black flames,

With honor and trust, call our names…

 We are the Ars Goetia, Demonic Divine.

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: “Shattered” -Review

The true tragedy of The Clone Wars makes itself known in the tense and traumatic penultimate episode of the series.

(Review contains episode spoilers)

Darth Maul is in custody. With his puppet government ousted, Bo-Katan and her loyalists once again have control over the planet of Mandalore. Her mission complete, Ahsoka Tano prepares to deliver the captured Sith Lord to Coruscant. However, the arrival of clone Order 66 upends her reality and forces Ahsoka to confront dark secrets.

I compared last week’s episode “The Phantom Apprentice” to a horror movie. Nathaniel Villanueva’s direction created an eerie and doom filled landscape that not only sold the high stakes action of the narrative, but also made the audience fully aware of the horrific events that were just around the corner. It’s rare that dread has been the key emotion of a Star Wars project, but that has certainly been the case here.

This feeling of unease carries into “Shattered,” the third episode of The Siege of Mandalore and the penultimate of the series as a whole. Director Saul Ruiz continues the atmospheric tension of “The Phantom Apprentice” into this chapter before shifting full on into emotional terror. “Shattered” builds to and continues on from the event that viewers of The Clone Wars have dreaded since day one. Order 66 has arrived. And it will change everything.

The final moments on Mandalore are a surreal experience. There is a temporary victory at hand. Maul and his loyalists have been supplanted, but there is nothing but uncertainty in the future. Bo-Katan Kryze is now left with ruling a planetary a government, a task that she is hardly prepared for. Katee Sachkoff has consistently given one of the most understated and nuanced voice performances on this series and watching Bo-Katan take stock of the planet she has now inherited is a sobering moment. I’ve talked before about the cyclical nature of Mandalorian history. Change is never permanent for people whose primary language is violence. It’s a quiet moment in an episode where so much happens, but Ahsoka asserting that Mandalore will need new leadership only for Bo-Katan to express doubt that that can even happen is perhaps the perfect summation of everything that Dave Filoni and his fellow creators have done with these sad lost warriors to date. We know now through Star Wars Rebels and The Mandalorian the painful route that these peopleface over the next two decades. There may be the semblance of hope now, but Bo-Katan like us know it’s a false one.

Also, can we just acknowledge that creepy Mandalorian sarcophagus that Maul is trapped inside? It’s an eerie artifact that turns Maul into a devilish Hannibal Lecter that is carted around like a deadly caged animal. Ruiz directs these moments with a certain degree of foreboding, with numerous haunting shots of and through Maul’s furious eyes and his trapped panting. It reads like a visual red herring. The visual language here tell us to be wary of this trapped rogue Sith, but the real horror lies elsewhere.

Filoni and Ruiz smartly hide the true warning signs elsewhere. Ahsoka walks into a briefing with multiple Jedi including Mace Windu and Master Yoda. Obi-Wan has engaged General Grievous and Anakin has left to inform the chancellor of these developments and the deciding moments of the end of the war at hand. Mace Windu has long been positioned as the Jedi that is perhaps the most lost in the twisted new reality that the Jedi have found themselves in. His wariness of politics and war have lead him to be a full participant in its actions and it has hardened him as a person. If the Jedi are lacking in compassion, it is Windu that is devoid of it. His callous response to Ahsoka’s questions serve as reinforcement of all of her existing biases of an organization that turned its back on her when she needed it most. Their paranoia in this case may be warranted, but that’s invisible to Ahsoka who is justifiably frustrated and angry with them for their actions. One of the quietest of the many tragedies in “Shattered” is that Ahsoka once again lets her loyalty to Anakin and her distrust of the Council prevent the halting of the pain that is to come. She doesn’t share Maul’s suspicions of Anakin to the Council, just as much because she worries what they might do with this information as she distrusts it herself. Even Yoda’s kind hearted request of a message to give to Anakin falls on unwilling ears. In this moment, the failures of the Jedi, even the ones that are the closest to their ideal like Yoda and Obi-Wan, have doomed their fate and driven away the people that may have been able to save them.

The moment arrives all the same. The end of the Jedi and the rise of the Sith were doomed to occur no matter what. After a heartfelt discussion about the ending of the war between Ahsoka and Commander Rex, Anakin’s betrayal is enacted and the galaxy is upended.

It’s maybe the one moment in “Shattered” that doesn’t completely make work. The decision to mix in the actual audio of Revenge of the Sith for Ahsoka and Maul to sense from across the galaxy is an inspired choice, but there’s an uncanny feeling to it that can’t be escaped. While Corey Burton and Samuel L. Jackson’s Mace Windu performances are close enough in style and cadence to ignore, Matt Lanter’s Anakin was purposefully designed to be a more empathetic and heroic take on the character. Hearing Hayden Christensen’s dialogue is jarring and off putting. It’s an intersection of film and animation in a way that feels a little too awkwardly grafted for it to have the needed effect. It’s made even stranger by the layering effect of Lanter’s voice over Christensen’s for the final line of dialogue. There may be a reason for this choice, but I’m not sure it was the right move to make.

We are given little time to ruminate on this though before it all goes belly up and Rex and the rest of the clones begin the execution of the Jedi Order. It was always going to be a shocking moment, but in a moment of out of context cruelty, many of us given the events of Star Wars Rebels were led to believe that Rex would escape this sadistic fate in full. Even as he resists pulling his weapons on his friend, it becomes clear that we never got the full story from our clone hero and there are darker and sadder futures ahead.

Ahsoka’s escape and evasion of the hunting clones is a tragic and tense set piece. The visual irony of clones that were once so loyal to her that they modeled themselves in her image now forced to hunt her to the death is unnerving and effective. It takes a sweet moment from the start of this arc and turns it into a cruel cosmic joke.

I’m sure many of us clone junkies did find some justice in Rex finally finding the truth in Fives’s discoveries from last season. While it will never take away the hurt that such a determined and empathetic clone died as a disgrace in the eyes of his friends and allies, there is a welcome payoff that Rex’s final words before being subsumed by his programming is a recognition of his friend. It gives Ahsoka a mission to hopefully save her friend while also providing needed payoff for one of the darker moments in this series.

Ashley Eckstein has been killing it all season as Ahsoka, but the directions she takes her in here are new and unexpected. This is a more desperate, angrier, and more determined take on the character. At this point she has pretty much lost everything that has mattered to her, but instead of wallowing in despair, she meets it with resolve and unflinching competence. Her utilitarian use for Maul’s escape is a fascinating beat as it shows just how clear the limits of Ahsoka’s compassion are. She still cares about those that are close to her, but now faced with this all-encompassing tragedy, she has little faith in self-serving operatives like the unstable Zabrak.

Maul’s escape though does end up unleashing one of the most brutal set pieces in the history of the series. In a bone crushing combination of Darth Vader’s hallway massacre from Rogue One and the unstoppable determination and kinetics of some of the best Magneto moments from the X-Men films, Maul plows through a hallway of resisting clones. It is maybe a little indulgent in its violence and certainly is some of the most intense imagery we have seen on this show this season, but there’s a base pleasure in how Ruiz directs this carnage. Maul is the wild card here. We have mostly certainly not seen the last of him.

Ahsoka’s desperate rescue of Rex’s autonomy alongside a trio of loyal droids feels like a desperate battle for hope in the darkness of the final days of the Clone Wars. While we know that these two are destined to escape, Filoni and Ruiz still sell it all with heartstopping tension. Even when Rex awakens from his murderous trance, it only serves a small victory. Our heroes are far from out of the woods.

Kevin Kiner’s musical score is operating at the top of its game here and it may be the best sounding episode of the series in that regard. Kiner continues to play with the unsettling and eerie drones that were so prominent last week, but also mixes in the electronica of the series’ earliest days and cues from John Williams’s operatic Revenge of the Sith score. It creates a unique and tense audio landscape that sells the violent tragedy of it all with masterful precision.

Thank the Force we only have three days to wait. I’m sure nothing but more pain is on the way, but hopefully there’s catharsis too. I really hope there is.

 Score: A

[beyondthecosmicvoid]

"What you're talking about is manifest destiny."

"You can call it whatever you want, Tom. The fact remains that if the human race needs to do something to survive and lower orders don't have the power to stop us, we will prevail. It is not right ir wrong, it is just the way things are. You've got to stop projecting human motives and es onto other organisms. Everything is merely what it is. A mongoose that tries to steal a cobra's egg isn't evil -- it is just trying to survive. But the cobra is trying to survive too. And if it catches the mongoose in its nest, there's going be a fight. Fortunately for the mongoose, it has faster reflexes and a more efficient metabolism. Whether that's fair or not isn't event part of the equation -- it's simply the way things are."

"Yeah? Try telling that to the cobra. But for the sake of argument, we'll ignore the question of ethics. Still, all you're saying, Scott, is that it's all right to do whatever we want. To exploit any ecosystem, any species -- as long as we don't run into anything big enough to kick our butts."

"If you want to phrase it that way. Yeah. That's the way nature works."

"Sure, on tutoring disks, but not in the real world. Every part of an ecosystem is dependent on every other part. It's that interdependence that makes interfering with existing systems so chancy. Even the smallest components are vitally important."

“Who could have guessed that millions of ‘killer bee’s could spring from a handful of escaped African bees? Or that a few Brazilian fire ants could make the Southeastern portion of the U.S. virtually uninhabitable in just over seventy years? And what about the ‘oil-eating’ bacterium the gene-splicers at the petroleum companies developed to clean up their spills? Remember how they thought they had it completely in their control?”

“Come on, Tom, the oil would’ve dried up sooner or later anyway, and I hear the new repro-inhibitors they’re using are making a substantial dent in the fire ant populations. Sure, we suffer setbacks, but we’ll always find ways around the problems that nature throw at us.”

“Will we Scott? I’m not so sure, mankind never seems to learn. We get our hands slapped on a regular basis, but we still can’t seem to keep them to ourselves. The tighter the grip we try to get on nature, the more nature pushes through the cracks in our technology. And with some of the things we’re encountering in the settlements, we have no idea what kind of trouble we may be letting ourselves in for by messing around.”

“Well, so far we’ve done okay. On all of the life-supporting planets we’ve come across. The worst thing we’ve ever encountered has been the ‘blood willies’ of epsilon INDI TWO. And I hear they’ve got a vaccine for that now. If I were you, I’d put my faith in science and stop worrying about the bogeyman. And I’d watch what I said around the corporate types, Tom. All any of them care about is their jobs, and you’ll make them nervous with talk about problems that don’t exist yet.”

“I don’t care. This is my last long haul. I’m getting out while the getting’s good. All of the monkeying around the corporations are doing out in the settlements may not bother you, Scott, but it does me. We’ve had a long run of good fortune –longer than we’ve deserved there’s a major league turd coming down the pike, mark my words--- and I don’t want to be around when it hits the fan. I’m telling you, we shouldn’t be messing with mother nature. She’s a real bitch. We have to learn to work with nature. This reliance on technology is getting to be too much for me, Scott. It’s no longer a means to an end. It’s become an end unto itself. We use it like a wall between ourselves and our surroundings … between ourselves and who we really are. We’ve come a long way in the past three thousands years but I can’t help feeling that we’ve lost as much as we’ve gained.”

“So what’s your solution Tom? Give up modern convenience and go back to stone knives and squatting in caves?”

“You’re reaching for extreme again, Scott, but that just might be what it takes to put us back on the right track. And I’m not talking about austerity or deprivation. I’m talking about the challenge of putting away the crutches of our technology and going back to relying on our own strength and cunning. These days we’re so insulated that we make heroes out of anyone who dares to face up to a challenge. But it wasn’t always like that. Life of death challenges used to be an every day thing and real men didn’t wait for adventure to come to them. They rushed out to meet it not like the generals and corporate heads these days who send out the little guys to do their dirty work. It used to be that a man’s standing as a leader was determined by how he handled himself in the face of danger.”

“Yeah, yeah – very nostalgic, Thom. Very macho. But it’s not very practical in this day and age. Can you see a bunch of corporate VPs duking it out for the right be CEO? Or maybe you and me going at each other with knives to see who gets a better pilot’s rating?”

“Hey, every culture observes its own rituals for establishing status. Look at the infighting and back-stabbing that goes on at every level of our society. And we’re still fighting over the same things: property, leadership, territorial rights. The only difference is our methods have become more subtle, less direct. Somehow the old ways seem more honest.”

“You’re an idealist, Tom. What happens when the wrong guy wins? Then you’ve got the neighborhood bully calling the shots: You’re back to pack mentality.”

“There are checks and balances in every system, Scott.”

“Yeah, but your way leaves them all up to individual initiative! Without some kind of sanctioned avenue for dissent. A guy would have to be a real hero or a real fool to butt heads with the chief.”

“So? Are things really so different for us? You’re the one that’s always telling me to watch what I say around the desk jockeys. Where’s my ‘sanctioned avenue for dissent’? At least if I bust a gay in the chops, he clearly understands that I don’t like what he’s doing.”

“There you go with your idealism again. You’re trying to romanticize this into two tigers brawling to determine dominance or rights to a favorite hunting area. In the same situation humans would just kill each other. We’ve ‘out-grown’ the instinct for species preservation that prevents that in the lower orders but we haven’t truly grown into the morality that you’re so fond of citing, Tom. The society we’ve built isn’t perfect. Granted. But it works, probably more because of our level of technology than in spite of it. How many guys wouldn’t want to trade their boring, earthside job for yours: a job made possible by technology? But if you want to get back to nature, there are ways to do it. Go on one of those ‘wilderness’ safaris to Alpha C. I understand the gene-splicers now have something that almost looks like an elephant. Or, if you want real adventure, sign on for a hitch as a ranch hand at our next stop; plenty of fresh air, hard work, and not much else. Maybe that’s your idea of fulfillment. Though I can’t imagine anyone envying you the job. Me, I can get enough adventure from the vids. God bless modern technology!”

                                         (...)

“You’re awfully quiet, Tom. What’s the matter? YOu mad at me?”

“Huh? Uh, no Scott. I was just thinking.”

“Look, I know you said it as a joke. But maybe I should go on one of those safaris or sign on as a ranch hand. Maybe it’ll turn out that you’re right, and I wouldn’t like it. But I should at least give it a try. A change of scenery might be just what I need ... Get back to the land and living things ... Get some adventure and uncertainty back into my life. Did i ever tell you that I went hunting once? I had an uncle who was wealthy. He took me qual hunting when I turned fifteen -said it wuold make a man of me. But all I could think about was how big my shot gun was, and how small the birds were. I guess I oculd understand the potential for excitement in the hunt, but for me the thrill was missing. The contest seemed so lopsided. I wondered what it would be like to hunt something that was capable of hunting me. The challenge. The Danger. To put yourself on an equal footing with nature, that’s got to be the ultimate thrill! To risk everything on your own skill and strength ... I mean, look at what we do for a living - access the computer, punch a few buttons - all of the work is done for us. Anybody could do this job, with the right training. I guess that’s what I meant by m anti-technology tirade. It’s not that technology is evil in and of itself - but once in a while we have to put it aside and do something to remind ourselves that we’re alive - prove that we can accomplish something by relying solely on ourselves. I can’t help but think an experience like that would change a person. Maybe not in a way that other people would notice, but it would be something you’d carry with you for the rest of your life.”

“I know what you mean, Tom. Kinda like the first time you get laid, right? Did I ever tell you about that? I was at this party, see, and ...”

“Oh, brother ...”

   ~ Conversation between Tim & Scott from ALIEN VS PREDATOR #1

^It’s this type of existentialism that makes Dark Horse comics and other graphic novels set in the ALIENS/PREDATOR universe some of the best stuff in science fiction. It has a little bit of everything. Philosophy, cosmic horror, with occasional degrees of theological abstraction.If Disney wants to add more money to their pockets and wants to be true to their motto of inclusion and so on, keep this universe. Don’t erase it. Everything that it preaches, are in these comics. Not only that, but there is also a diversity of ideas where it subtly criticizes every school of thought via different characters and storylines. These are the types of stories that attract every fan, regardless of what their politics are. It’s entertainment, pure escapism (without preaching or self-serving, shaming BS) and world-building at its finest. And it remains respectful of ALL the ALIENS/PREDATORS films, while still offering something new.

Take Tom and Scott’s conversation here. These are two space truckers, blue collar workers like those from the first ALIEN movie, that are bringing up two very interesting points. They don’t fit into any neat box we assign a certain ideology. BOTH of these guys make good salient points. There is also a reason why the first issue of the AVP series starts with this conversation of technological dependence vs the old ways that Tom keeps going back to. While these two argue to disprove the other’s point and defend their own, we catch a brief glimpse into Yautja (Predator) society. It is a violent hierarchy where might becomes right. This is the type of meritocracy that Tom keeps defending. At the same time, it is also opportunistic and more technological advance to the point that they use their technology and survival instincts to hunt other species they deem worthy. This is done at the back of other species they consider inferior or worth risking for the ultimate hunt to prove their worth. Everything that Scott defends is part of the Yautja culture -with the obvious exception of divisions and over-dependence on technology and a corporate conglomerate controlling every aspect of daily life. Then there are the Xenomorphs (aliens). They are the other that is constantly being used as a coming-of-age rite for the predators, It’s an interest dynamic which hasn’t (yet) been explored in the films. This, among other things, makes this universe one of the most fascinating in the science fiction and horror genre.

[wanna-hear-a-joke]

Am I really writing out Joker Fan Theories at 5am

Yep! It's 5:30 in the goddamn morning and I really can't believe I'm writing Joker fan theory based on my psychological breakdown of the character, I really can't, but I just watched it again and I don't think I'll be able to sleep unless I do. I must exorcise the demons.

[ Disclaimer: this is just my personal interpretation, not what I am claiming the filmmakers ‘actually’ intended or not. ]

in short: 1. Arthur's “condition” (pseudobulbar affect) is real.  2. Most of what happens is real - and Arthur can (somewhat) tell. 3. Arthur did not kill Sophie. 4. Arthur did not kill his mother to get revenge. CLICK READ MORE 2 LEARN WHY 😜

1. Arthur's “condition” (pseudobulbar affect) is real. This is one of the things that bothers me THE most, because websites like TV tropes have claimed it as fact that one of the "twists" is that he never really had a condition, just a sick sense of humor! I think this comes from taking what Arthur says in the hospital scene too literally. He does see the dark humor of his situation, but he is still beset by mental illness, trauma, and brain damage. He is very clearly laughing in anguish at the start, and part of what makes the ‘character arc’ satisfying (as tragic as it is) is he frees himself from what was causing that anguish. That’s what he means. As Joker, he no longer has any reason to feel afraid, nothing can hurt him anymore and he’s liberated himself from the pain/fear he experiences as Arthur- which is what triggers the laughter. Idk how so many people get this one wrong but it’s driving me nuts as someone who actually has dealt with PBA-like symptoms from PTSD. It’s real y’all and JP portrayed it with shocking accuracy.

2. Most of what happens is real - and Arthur can (somewhat) tell. It's meant to be ambiguous to the viewer, but with the exception of the first Murray Show scene and Arthur's fantasies about dating Sophie, everything else actually does happen. What Arthur’s fantasy sequences convey is a lonely man who is unable to connect with others and lives in daydreams to escape the pain of his dismal, dreary life. Arthur struggles with empathy and his fantasies are self-centered and distinctly themed around being cared for. He was raised by a mentally ill narcissist that he likely took care of from a young age, and clearly yearns for the kind of unconditional love a parent is meant to provide. It's how he copes with the lack of connection in his life. He’s checked out. Dissociated. Not to mention, in denial or unaware of how bad his trauma actually is. He is probably so used to living this way that he’s not fully aware of what he’s doing, but I maintain it’s not like, a fabricated hallucination.

Where the delusion comes in is... well, I don't think he knows how to read people and his judgement of situations seems to be pretty impaired. This is not the same as a Fight Club-esque scenario where he’s completely unaware of an elaborate hallucination, but a dissociated withdrawal where he passively engages with life while retreating to his mind and making up his own version of events.  For example, he sees Sophie give an half-hearted "yea ok buddy" smile in the hallway and thinks "oh she smiled, good, she thinks it's funny." The guys at work might anxiously laugh at his unnerving, dead-pan jokes and sarcastically say he's ready for the "big clubs," and he takes it at face value. People are laughing at his standup, so he must be killin it!

Did he wear cologne for a date he never went on? Yes, but I think it’s just as likely he put it on while getting ready, envisioning a date, and ran with that version of events because it’s preferable to reality. He may even feel pressure to impress his mom and “prove” himself as a man to her by claiming he went on a date as a sort of rite of passage.

3. Arthur did not kill Sophie. Arthur visits Sophie's apartment in a last-ditch effort to find comfort. With his mother in the hospital, his idealized father figure mocking him on national TV and being rejected from Wayne, he has nothing and no one to turn to. He's also just unearthed traumatic details from childhood that he'd probably much rather have kept buried. Sophie is his last thread of hope at this point. I'm sure Arthur had a version in his head of how this would go- perhaps rehearsed many times over. He runs his fingers over furniture in the apartment as if he's thinking "so this is what it’s like," comparing it to the fantasies he's constructed (much like he later does on the Murray show) but his expectations are shattered the moment Sophie reacts in fear. I really don’t think he’s thinking “but what about all those dates we went on?” more like “oh this is where she was supposed to ask if I’m ok... shit, better do the finger gun she laughed at that before.” Because of his struggle with empathy he couldn’t have anticipated how she might react to a strange man in her apartment. To be honest, my best guess is that he just left feeling upset, confused and embarrassed. We don’t see Sophie again because we don’t need to, his “last hope” for a loving human connection was a farce. (also logically it just does not fit with the timeline of everything else imo- he would have been 100% caught; the sirens in the scene afterwards are either to draw parallels to his mother or further illustrate Gotham as a crime-ridden shithole)

4. Arthur did not kill his mother to get revenge. While he very clearly harbors resent towards her, I believe his main motivation for killing her was his plan to kill himself on TV- he needed to do this to grant himself the freedom to carry through with it. It’s more symbolic to him, is what I’m saying. I wouldn’t call it a mercy killing (idk if he’s capable of the type of empathy to consider that), but he no longer sees their situation improving and he no longer takes pride in being her caretaker after learning the ‘truth.’ He sees his life as one big cosmic joke, and this act fully frees him to get to the “punchline,” all former attachments to his life as Arthur as now severed and he’s got nothing left to lose. This would not have been possible had he left her alive. In addition to this, and... I can’t believe I have to write this out, but everything that happened at Arkham is real. The file is real. The criminal neglect and abuse Arthur faced was real and so horrific it was headline-worthy. When he is seen in the “flashback” sequence, all that’s communicating is his imagining of how his mother’s time at Arkham went down, it may even give some context for how he viewed her as a child. Whether or not Arthur is actually Wayne’s son is deliberately very ambiguous but I personally believe that he is.

[didanawisgi]

What Nietzsche really meant: The Apollonian and Dionysian

One God stands for order, logic, and reason. The other stands for chaos, madness, and drunkenness. Nietzsche thinks you need both.

SCOTTY HENDRICKS 27 August, 2018

We all know the kind of person who likes to impose order on every situation. They want reason, logic, precise definitions, and despise chaos. Likewise, we all know people who throw order to the wind, follow every impulse they have, are drawn to chaos, and hate restraints on them.

While most of us would look at these kinds of people and see nothing more than personality differences, Friedrich Nietzsche saw an enduring dichotomy inside all of us which emerges from nature itself and can be applied to art, psychology, ethics, and politics.  

The Apollonian and Dionysian

In his first book The Birth of Tragedy, Nietzsche examines art, particularly ancient Greek plays. While he didn’t write the last word on the subject, he did use the book to introduce a concept which would continue to appear in his thinking long after he dismissed his earliest work as “badly written, ponderous, embarrassing, image-mad and image-confused.”

The two forces of nature he introduces show up everywhere. While their most famous iteration was as pillars of Greek culture, they can also appear as drives within us and even as historical forces. He names the two halves of this dichotomy the Apollonian and the Dionysian, after two Greek Gods.

Apollo, the God of the sun, truth, light, and logic, is the namesake for the first, ordered, half. This is the half that covers everything which is structured. Sculpture, an art which is pure form, is the most Apollonian art.

Rational thinking, which is based on logical structures, is also Apollonian. Since this drive tends to put things into their place, it also tends to individualize and distinctly separate people and ideas from one another.

Nietzsche thinks dreams are the most Apollonian state we can experience. He bases this on the idea that we understand what we see when dreaming isn't real, but merely an image. It has been suggested that he was a lucid dreamer to explain this strange notion.

Dionysus, the God of wine, festivals, and madness lends his name to the later, frenzied, half. Music is the pure Dionysian artform since it doesn’t appeal to our rational mind but rather to our emotions. The Dionysian doesn’t categorize and tends to blur the boundaries between the self and nature.

The esoteric and mystic cults of the Greeks, many of which were dedicated to Dionysus, offer an alternative to the rationalism of the Apollonian and were noted for their “sexual licentiousness.”

Drunkenness is suggested as the pure Dionysian state. He gives us a fantastic description of the Dionysian when he explains:

“Transform Beethoven’s ‘Hymn to Joy’ into a painting; let your imagination conceive the multitudes bowing to the dust, awestruck- then you will approach the Dionysian.”

Nietzsche suggests that folk music is especially Dionysian and that “it might also be historically demonstratable that every period rich in folk songs has been most violently stirred by Dionysian currents.” This explains a lot about the 1960’s.

Two men ride home after the Woodstock Music Festival; three days of music, free love, and drugs that dissolve the boundaries between self and the cosmos. A more Dionysian event is hard to come by. (Photo by Three Lions/Getty Images)

How can these drives ever be combined?

Getting these two drives to work together is difficult, but not impossible. Nietzsche saw their fusion as ideal, as it allowed the tremendous frenzied energy of the Dionysian to be applied constructively inside an Apollonian framework. He thought the ancient Greeks, perhaps uniquely, were able to blend the two drives in their culture.

In Greek tragedies like Oedipus Rex, dreadful concepts like death, fate, and unfairness were expressed in a beautiful and ordered way through plots and dialogue. The audience viewed these concepts in a Dionysian way since they were watching an unrelatable main character experience them as explained by the chorus.

The chorus' unity and detachment from the action helps the audience to separate from themselves and consider the ideas in the play in a depersonalized way. This allows the viewer to deal with unpleasant ideas in a way that is gentler than frank, Apollonian discussion.

The ability of Greece to fuse the two ideas didn’t last forever though, eventually, the Greeks drifted towards the Apollonian again, to Nietzsche’s disappointment.

He argues that the movement from plays which focused on great heroes towards subjects that the audience could relate to allowed audiences to judge the people on stage and restored their self-consciousness when watching plays. The audience, now individualized, could no longer get the same comfort from theatre as they could before.

Is the Apollonian bad?

It’s not bad at all, but Nietzsche knew that we need both. The loss of the Dionysian in drama and society is, therefore, a loss to our own ability to be complete people- let alone the effect it has on plays.

The Apollonian gives us reason, order, law, and harmony. These are often very good things.

How can I use this?

Even if you’re not a playwright or a classical scholar trying to make sense of Greek Civilization, these concepts can still be of use. We all have both an Apollonian and Dionysian side to us. While many thinkers have downplayed the Dionysian and sought to promote only the rational, structured parts of us, Nietzsche thinks this isn’t just folly but detrimental. He mocks those who try and avoid the Dionysian, saying they :

“turn away from such phenomena as from “folk-diseases,” with contempt or pity born of the consciousness of their own “healthy mindedness.” But of course such poor wretches have no idea how corpselike and ghostly their so-called “Healthy-mindedness” looks when the glowing life of the Dionysian revelers roars past them.”

But this doesn’t mean that you should utterly give into the drunkenness, madness, “sexual licentiousness,” and boundless chaos of the Dionysian. Instead, it means that you should accept that part of you wants those things and strive to harness that energy towards a more constructive goal.

Does this have use elsewhere?

Ruth Benedict has used the dichotomy to describe different cultures in her anthropological work. Camille Paglia wrote a controversial book suggesting men and women embody the archetypes and that there is a biological cause of this. Freud, whose ideas covered similar ground as Nietzsche's, described the Id in Dionysian terms.

While Nietzsche later dismissed his first book, the ideas he put forward in it are still of great interest. His understanding that we all have forces of reason, irrationality, structure, chaos, individualism, and cosmic unity within us all would later inform his psychological insights.

While his theories on aesthetics might not have been the end all answer he was looking for, the Apollonian and Dionysian dichotomy remains a useful way to view art, psychology, and society.

[a-certain-academy-city]

Toaru Kagaku no Academy City: Operation Handcuffs - Retrospection

In the end, things had always been this way, weren’t they?

From the moment Accelerator took the position of Board Chairman, he made declaration of war to the Dark Side of Academy City. And it was from that point on that he used the resources he had at his disposal to ensure that the city’s darkness was completely purged.

He had even went as far as reassembling GROUP with a few new faces to help with the clean up operation. He used Espers like  Musujime Awaki, Mugino Shizuri, and even level 0s like Hamazura Shiage.  If they were still here, he probably would have ended up using Kamijou Touma and Misaka Mikoto as well in some way.

But then the Cosmic Side came knocking in the doors of the City he was trying to reform, interrupting his effort he could name a number of events that would give him reason to start a war with the Cosmic Side; it could have been when Zayane of the Right was tampering around with Academy City’s espers, particularly level 5s like himself. It could have been when Gaelion started his campaign which actually destroyed Academy City. It could have been when that Vacosian refugee group had decided to turn the planet into a super weapon and had manipulated the Aura users into causing havoc. Or it could have been way back when the Machine  Empress and other beings invaded from Lawain, before Accelerator was even the Board chairman.

Anyone of these incidents would have made the perfect trigger, but he believed it all hit him during the Gaelion warpath,

He became aware of just how chaotic and unpredictable the Cosmic Side was and had decided to make preparations for a possible conflict with them, on top of dealing with the remnants of the Dark side who weren’t intent on going quietly.

He figured that all of these threats would be better off gone, which was why he used everything, from his positions as the leader of the science side and Academy City’s #1 to dispose of his opposition.

But when he thought about it, Accelerator had not changed a single bit. He still used bloody methods to solve problems, made espers and others be his underlings in his plans, and had even gone out and dealt with several issues himself.

Even at some point, he had became obsessed with crushing the Cosmic side, up to the point where he almost lost himself.

In the end, he was no different than he was a year ago, and now, he was becoming no better than Aleister himself when he was still around.

He had came to this realization when he had gone out and took out a certain depraved wizard.

Accelerator knew that guy would not be missed. No one would shed a tear for him, and many would praise his end. Even his own subordinates resented him which said enough. That guy needed to disappear for good.

But the fact remained that Accelerator still chose a brutal method to resolve the incident.

And he used people, even his own girlfriend to assure his end. Thinking about it more made Accelerator sick at how much he was becoming Aleister. He used people like pieces in a chess game and when he deemed that said chess pieces would be unable to handle it, Accelerator went out and crushed  the problem himself.

Like a monster.

“You must have known what this meant from the beginning, Yomikawa. Idealism is powerless against reality, so if you try to force your ideals onto reality, there is bound to be a fierce backlash.”

Accelerator spoke to someone on his smartphone.

It was a person whom he had little time to visit since his ascendancy to his current position, but still kept in contact with for official matters.

In a way, this matter was both official and private at the same time. Accelerator was alone in the dark windowless room that was his office, with only the dim light of his holographic monitor lighting the room. It was late at night too, so not many people were around.

“The people who are more comfortable in the corrupt darkness were bound to attack there first. If they can’t make any headway through official channels or backchannels, they only have one option left: take someone I care about hostage and use that to negotiate.” 

Accelerator wanted to end the cycle of violence and darkness perpetuated in this city. there was no other reason why the white monster had called Anti-Skill Officer Yomikawa Aiho  in the first place.

Yes.

“Send me to the prosecutors and have me indicted.”

“Kh.”

“Why do you think I’m doing this? This is your job, Yomikawa. You’re the only one I know who can handle the rest of this.”

He spoke as if declaring a matter of fact. It was obvious what Accelerator was trying to do, but the Anti-Skill officer was still having trouble believing it.

The stage was not yet set.

No one was in agreement, so there was bound to be backlash once the confusion set in.

“I will rid Academy City of its dark side and I can’t leave any exceptions. I asked you to write up a charge sheet, didn’t I? I’ve killed more than 10,000 living humans, even if they were clones. And after that, I irresponsibly stayed in the dark side and fired guns all throughout this peaceful city while claiming to be helping. Someone like that can never be allowed out on the streets again. I must be placed behind bars no matter who tries to stop it.”

“The Board Chairman has complete control over Academy City. The 12 Directors below you are only for show. And whatever we might like to think, the rules never say the Chairman has to be a good person. I’ve never heard of someone that powerful just turning themselves in.”

“So what? That just means the system has always been broken. …Don’t make me laugh. If the rules differ from what everyone wants, then you’ve clearly found yourself a problem in the rules needing fixing.”

Who had been at fault? The answer was obviously Accelerator.

A Kihara had developed his powers and old Board Chairman Aleister had guided that monster down the path of murder for his own purposes, but it was still Accelerator who had actually done it.

But the #1 had been involved in far too much of the darkness.

How many people’s hands would be cuffed from this one boy’s testimony?

Of course people would be coming out of the woodwork to prevent this from happening.

Not because they were his good friends; because they had to protect their own future.

“You will never again leave prison.”

“I am aware of that.”

“Even if your sentence is reduced for cooperation with our investigations!! It just isn’t enough. The computer has already run some preliminary calculations. At this rate, your sentence will be for 11,000 years!!”

“Way too short. Around a year per murder? What kind of joke is that?”

“Why?” Yomikawa muttered under her breath.

The #1 did not look away.

“Didn’t I tell you? I can’t leave any exceptions. I’m the #1 and the Board Chairman, so I have to lead by example.”

Yomikawa Aiho was supposed to be a protector of the law.

But when she handcuffed an esper run amok, it was so they could be rehabilitated and have a second chance. That was why she would never aim a gun at a child. No matter how dangerous an esper they were, she had to create a situation where she could hear them out.

However, Accelerator would have no future.

This might be the right thing to do, but then who would save him?

“What about the clones?” she asked. “Once this is all investigated, their existence will come to light. That’s around 10,000 people who violate international treaties. Society might not accept them.”

Did clones have human rights or not?

Academy City had once answered no and repeated cruel experiments using them. And Accelerator was the one who had dirtied his hands there at the insistence of the researchers. They were undoubtedly the victims there, but the people in the outside world might not see it the same way.

If they too answered no and even saw the clones as a threat, they could be “disposed of”.

However…

“That’s why I have to make sure they’re safe.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think they’re safe now? If they’re discovered, then that’s the end for them. How is that safe? I need to correct that unnatural balance and make sure they have solid footing to stand on. They were victims in all this, so why do they have to continue keeping their heads down and hiding? Unlike me, they deserve a free life out in the open.”

Accelerator had only one hope of accomplishing that.

The white monster pointed his thumb back at his own chest.

“I’ll be the villain.”

That was the natural result.

In fact, it was unnatural for it to have not happened yet.

“I’ll gather all the attention of the media and the scientific society and accept all of the criticism myself. I’m the ridiculous genius, I’ve got all the political power now, and I’ve even got money too. That’s exactly the kind of asshole people will just love to see go down in flames. All the news will be focused on me and they’ve only got so much space for info in their articles. They’ll aim for impact and focus on the guy who went around murdering clones instead of the clones themselves. And who cares about the people spreading rumors? A lot of time will have passed before the media is sick of attacking me. And then it’ll be like a flat soda. Focusing on the clones after that won’t move the masses to action. People jump on these bandwagons because they’re bored with their own lives. These are the people who find themselves bored even with all the excitement out there to find, so they’re experts at living boring lives. Once they grow tired of a topic, their interest in it is forever dead.”

“...She won’t be happy when she hears this. Both of them.”

“I know.“

That was why he could not cheat the system.

He could not use his special authority as Board Chairman to pardon himself after being found guilty and he could not live behind bars but emerge as a heroic Board Chairman whenever there was a problem needing solving.

There could be no exceptions.

The person most deserving of punishment had to be appropriately punished and that had to be shown off to both Academy City and the rest of the world.

They had to show that true justice existed here.

They had to show that they had moved past the absurd age where the evil laughed and the good were left in tears.

Otherwise, nothing would change.

So he made a definitive statement that rang throughout the walls of that dark office.

“It all starts here,”

whispered Accelerator. It may not have been obvious without paying close attention, but the #1 and new Board Chairman was clenching his back teeth.

“This is also an issue of how much I can trust Academy City. If I get worried, can’t bear it anymore, and break through that wall to go save that brat, then it’s all over. That would create an exception and those shitheads from the dark side could have their way. So I have to trust that the giant system of Academy City will save that brat without me creating an exception.”

He was indeed a monster, so there was a violent part of him that would wild inside him. It told him the rules did not matter and he should break loose right this instant. Villains would always betray you in the end. Some eloquent speech about being reformed was not even worth listening to. He needed to pin them down, crush them, tear them apart, and grasp safety for himself. Even the greatest villain could not betray you if they were a corpse. And what other choice did he have if he was going to protect that young life? What could make a more beautiful story than dirtying his hands to allow someone he cared for to live their life out in the open?

But.

Even so.

“I will trust it.”

said Academy City’s #1 and new Board Chairman. That incarnation of slaughter turned fearsome dictator spoke the words like he was suppressing bubbling magma within himself.

“I will trust this city. I will trust that it is worth throwing out the rest of my life to protect. If I can’t trust the city I rule, then I don’t deserve to rule it in the first place.”

Someone had once told him that he had changed.

But it was this monster who had said they were one of the ones who had changed him.

Which was why this monster had retaken a human form and could continue to fight like this.

Even if it meant clenching his teeth and bearing with it all alone.

[mmmmalo]

why does gamzee manifest for dave wrt considering the icp video blasphemy?

I never figured that out! And that made me mad, so I gave it another shot. Results range from solid to utterly indefensible.

Page 4027

I like the how the shared pose and neutral expression concealed by sunglasses emphasize the parallel between Gamzee and Dave. 

The first weird thing for my method is that this scene takes place (for Dave) just before he opens John’s present and gets the new shades, so there’s no context leading up to this moment. Meaning, there is no event to which Gamzee could have been an emotional response – unless the mere arrival of John’s box has somehow warranted a crisis of faith on par with Gamzee’s. Alternatively, the lack of context could implicate Gamzee’s crisis as Dave’s default emotional state prior to receiving the gift…? But then there’s no particular reason for Gamzee to troll him at this moment…

Tavros manifesting in response to Dave reading John’s letter (henceforth Log B) retroactively becomes the resurrection that Gamzee is attempting to achieve? So since in Log B Tavros kind of… represents Dave’s sudden feeling of wholeness, of being in touch with his emotions and expressing himself freely, the decapitated Tavros above represents the emotional constipation/self-alienation that characterized life under Bro?

Which would mean that when Gamzee talks about his miracles having been stolen away, Tavros represents (for both Gamzee AND Dave) the lost richness of experience he idealizes. (Even if Eden never existed, even if the paradise planet is a FUCKING JOKE, to desire it is to experience it as having been lost) You cannot put the bunny back in the box, you cannot revive Tavros. CHILDHOOD RUINED!!!

Gamzee’s mournful “IT WAS GONNA BE US AND MOTHERFUCKING THEM” comes off then a unity denied – like Tavros’s head is denied unity with his body, or Dave is denied unity with himself. So all of this actually supports the ‘default emotional state’ reading – Gamzee is kind of dramatizing Dave’s basic emotional dilemma, just before John’s letter seems to briefly resolve it. (Intrusive thought: Nic Cage’s line in Con Air “I’m gonna show you God’s real.”)TC: IT STRIKES AT ME AS ANOTHER HERETICAL FUCKING BASTARDIZATION OF SOME SACRED SHIT I TAKE SERIOUSLY IN MY PUMP BISCUIT. TC: i mean i guess, took seriously…..so you get a sense that Dave laments his inability to take things seriously, to be ironic and detached all the time? Which is common knowledge by now, but here’s how it looks voiced through Gamzee.

More to that effect: Gamzee uses castration/decapitation imagery to describe how knowledge ruined his miracles: “YOU ALL CRACKED OFF THE TOP OF THE BOTTLE TO THOSE FUCKIN CLOWN IMPOSTORS.” Since “knowledge ruined miracles” rings close to “english destroys reality”, it’s very strange to me, as with Caliborn, that Gamzee decides to serve Lord English. Also, I still don’t get why the servants of English tend to be characterized by silence.

Page 4028

The DELIRIOUS BIZNASTY thread alludes to a Fall and SNAPPED neck (well, collarbone), kind of underlining the Paradise Lost vibes that accompany castration from the miracles. This is related to how the UNREAL AIR skateboard floats up and away to the sun like a piece of garbage, which is exactly what ICP does at the end of the Miracles music video, which Betty Crocker links here.

But now things confuse me again – Gamzee reaching inside himself for the chucklevoodoos is akin to…? Dave looking inside himself and finding rage? Or is Gamzee claiming responsibility for initiating all of the kids’ fears only relevant in that it establishes that all of the kids’ fears are similarly related to their trauma / crisis of faith / whatever? But I feel as though I’m missing something here somehow.

Page 4031

TG: also you have me confused for somebody else we never talkedTG: i guarantee i would have remembered you TC: ALL THAT MOTHER FUCKIN MATTERS IS I REMEMBER YOU AND WHAT YOU DID. TC: i’m just all letting you in on the ways i set the high justice in motion. TC: MADE US MOTHERFUCKING SQUARE, YOU AND ME. TC: me and you.This page starts off with the topic of identity confusion – Dave’s line most directly, Gamzee making reference to the indivisible perfectly generic object (the square) and repeating the phrasing he used earlier to invoke spiritual unity, to suggest that he and Dave are one. I assume this will lead into talk of Dave identifying with Bro, since he’s wearing the shades…

Okay, here’s something really indulgent:Gamzee’s declaration YOUR BRO’S DEAD BRO had me expecting some kind of Sixth Sense sort of twist – like Jade wasn’t the only one with a dead guardian, and Bro would be revealed to be a ghost not unlike Aradia. Like Gamzee’s “now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off” had me thinking like Dave had actually chopped off Bro’s head at some point, and all their conflict was like Jade fighting with her dead Grandpa, except more convincing because Dave himself were convinced, having suppressed the memory of having already killed his Bro (again, just like Jade and Grandpa).Of course since death is ideality, the degree to which Dave idealizes Bro (cutting a meteor in half??), Bro being “dead” could also be an expression of the unreal expectations Dave has of his Bro. On the other hand, it would be fucking /fascinating/ if Dirk and his unbreakable katana were cosmically bound to seek their own undoing because a prior iteration of himself that only existed in Dave’s imagination post-mortem. But again, I don’t think the above is literally true. It’s fanciful and borrowing liberally from stories that have already been told elsewhere. I’m just struggling to make sense of the words….I think if Bec is literally an offshoot of Jade, it would at least make sense for Dave to indulge in the idea that Bro stems from himself…? Or vice-versa. It’s already been established that Dave views himself as a shitty copy of himself and/or of Bro… 

And with Gamzee talking about Bro keeping Lil Cal captive, just before Dave receives a letter about being in Bro’s shadow, I wonder if Cal is like… a figure of the blurring between them? Sometimes representative of Dave, as when Cal’s evisceration accompanied the breaking of Dave’s emblem… But otherwise controlled by Bro, with Cal’s dead-gaze indicating Bro’s observation…? (It should be noted that I never successfully integrated Lil Cal into my reading)

But if ‘captive’ implies Cal being /within/ Bro, it becomes suspect that Cal’s eye is within Gamzee’s eye, in a conversation where Gamzee is claiming identity with Dave? So then it again becomes as though /Dave/ is ultimately the only one controlling Cal… Bluh???I’m psyching myself out here something FIERCE, but it makes me wanna reevaluate lines like “Shit is basically flying off the hook. It’s like shit wants nothing to do with that hook. The hook is dead to that shit.” and go AHA IF DAVE IS THE SHIT THEN BRO IS THE HOOK AND HE’S DEAD CONFIRMED CONFIRMED CONFIRMED OH WAIT CAPTAIN HOOK IS ALWAYS PLAYED BY THE KIDS’ FATHER DOUBLE CONFIRMED, but luckily I am a sane person… Unless…? ;)

If all of the madness above bears any fruit, Dave calling Gamzee a murderous psychopath would amount to calling /himself/ a murderous psychopath, with Lil Cal’s whispers of carnage representing his own inner voice. If not…. I dunno what the deal with Lil Cal is! Very mysterious.

Bonus: Dave having already killed Bro would mean he’s wearing his sunglasses as a trophy, just like Gamzee was (falsely) implied to have done with Terezi… so maybe the suggestion that Dave has killed THE LAW (Bro) actually holds water? Though the falseness of Gamzee’s trophy still leaves room for the whole scenario to be a delusion of Daves.

This went in directions I had no way of anticipating, but I’m gonna spend the rest of the evening vaguely unsure of if Dave is a murder or just indulging in fantasies about murder. Homestuck confuses me.

[milkboydotnet]

Kannagara would probably be called in the West 'natural religion,' meaning 'natural' in contrast to 'revealed,' not a religion of nature. The life of man is located in Daishizen, Great Nature, the vast cosmic setting into which we are born, where we live and within which our lives find any meaning. Natural Religion is the spontaneous awareness of the Divine that can be found in any culture. People learn to see in the flow of life and in the processes of nature, promptings from the creative origins of the world. In response to these, the basic ideas of religion come into being at the birth of a new culture.     Japanese mythology speaks of how the ancient Japanese felt about their world, its origins and the origins of the world around them. These historical events mark the beginning of basic religious systems and human cultures. Shinto reflects an awareness of the Divine that calls for man to live 'according to the Kami' so that he can find happiness and fulfillment in experiencing the basic joys of life.     Kannagara is not itself a religion, nor is it the basis of a religion although it is at the heart of Shinto. It is best understood as a non-exclusive principle of universalism that can exist in all religions and should exist as a self-corrective idea that calls every historical religion back to its fundamental roots and to the basic insight of all Natural Religion that the finest results for life are achieved when man lives 'according to the Kami'.     This is why a Shinto believer will not reject something just because it is not Shinto. A Shinto believer can be at home with any Kami that shows the power to elevate his soul. This approach to religion can be called the kannagara understanding of the place of religion in human life, human society and in human culture in general.     In a sense, kannagara refers to the underlying basis of spirituality common to all religions. Religions should therefore try to realize the spirit of kannagara in order to remain true to themselves. Kannagara need not be understood necessarily as unique to the Japanese but is a concept with universal significance and applicability. Kannagara has to do with spirit, and with bringing the spirit of man and his activities into line with the spirit of Great Nature.     The Spirit of Great Nature may be a flower, may be the beauty of the mountains, the pure snow, the soft rains or the gentle breeze. Kannagara means being in communion with these forms of beauty and so with the highest level of experiences of life. When people respond to the silent and provocative beauty of the natural order, they are aware of kannagara. When they respond in life in a similar way, by following ways 'according to the Kami,' they are expressing kannagara in their lives. They are living according to the natural flow of the universe and will benefit and develop by so doing.     To be fully alive is to have an aesthetic perception of life because a major part of the world's goodness lies in its often unspeakable beauty. Unlike Western Puritanism, which has reservations about beauty as a basis of understanding life, Shinto has never denied it. These ideas cannot be taught directly. They can only be captured by someone whose experience of them is sufficiently moving for him or her to realize their fullest meaning.     This is why Shinto is associated with sacred spaces, originally places of either striking natural beauty, or places that had an atmosphere that could strike awe in the heart of the observer. Shinto has no need of formalized systems of ethics which instruct people how to behave. People who are trying to express kannagara will be living 'according to the Kami' and therefore will not require detailed regulations. If man were in need of detailed rules, claimed Motoori Norinaga, he would be little better than an animal that needs to be trained and retrained in order to behave properly. Humankind is surely beyond this type of morality. Beauty, Truth and Goodness are essentially related and when beauty is perceived, truth and goodness follow close behind.     Through participating in the spirit of kannagara, human beings, earth and heaven can achieve harmonious union. When their relationship is perfectly harmonious, the ideal universe comes into being. But of course, this does not always happen, and the reason is that man often makes mistakes that lead to his becoming impure. When people become impure in this sense, they stray from themselves and they have to find themselves again. If people can return to being themselves, then the Kami rejoice and human progress and prosperity become possible.

Guji Yukitaka Yamamoto, The Way of the Kami The Life And Thought Of A Shinto Priest

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/intuitive-astrology-forecast-for-december-2019/

Intuitive Astrology Forecast for December 2019

Intuitive Astrology Forecast for December 2019

By Tanaaz

Welcome to December, the last month of the year and the last month of the decade!

2020 has so many cosmic alignments that point to big change and a new way of doing things, and it seems that December brings the perfect balance of energies to prepare us for what’s to come.

The first significant event this month is Jupiter changing signs.

Jupiter will move into Capricorn on December 2nd for the first time in 12 years.

While Capricorn is not the ideal zodiac for expansive Jupiter, it will actually be protecting us over the coming months as we prepare to experience a line up of planets in Capricorn.

The two most notable planets in Capricorn at the moment are Saturn and Pluto. Their energy won’t peak until January 2020, but if we tune in, we may be able to feel this energy already brewing.

Saturn and Pluto together in Capricorn will see the destruction of things that are no longer working in the areas of big corporations, the government, the economy, and banking.

This energy is going to be highlighted all through 2020, and if we don’t make the changes, if we don’t ride this new opening of energy, we may be making things more difficult for ourselves.

Saturn and Pluto are working on more of a global level, so we tend to see the effects on a global scale, however we may also feel the need in our own lives to set new boundaries or break away from anything that feels restricting or limiting.

Under this energy, we are all being asked to climb higher while keeping our balance. We are being asked to challenge ourselves by extending further and accelerating higher. We have to stretch our normal limits, for that’s the only way we will grow.

These endeavors are all going to be favored in 2020, so perhaps throughout the month, we can really start to set some intentions on what we desire to build in 2020, not just for ourselves but for all of humanity.

On December 11, we have a slightly tense Full Moon in Gemini.

This is a more challenging Full Moon and will be highlighting where we have not faced the truth, especially in our relationships and finances.

As the holidays approach, our relationships and finances are often highlighted anyway, so having extra emphasis here may not be something we really desire!

However, we have to keep in mind that this is the last Full Moon before Eclipse Season begins, which means this our last opportunity to really own up to the truth of what we see and feel, and take responsibility for it.

What truth do we need to confront in our relationships? What truth do we need to confront in our finances?

The Full Moon will guide us to answer these questions and help support us as we take the necessary steps forward.

Saturn and Pluto, who will meet on January 12th, are also going to be very active on this Full Moon and may give us a taste of things to come.

Watch what happens on the world stage around this time as we may see the crumbling of things that are no longer going to support us in this new decade to come.

The meeting of Saturn and Pluto is big transformative energy that will shape the themes for the decade ahead.

Saturn and Pluto align every 35-38 years, however none of us alive today have experienced them together in Capricorn and none of us ever will again.

In the past, Saturn-Pluto alignments have been associated with ominous world events, however both of them are in the business of destruction so they can rebuild, and that rebuilding is what’s important.

December 21st then brings the Solstice and the start of Capricorn Season.

This is the official start of Winter or Summer, depending on where in the world you live.

In the Northern Hemisphere, this time of year is associated with the dark night of the soul. In the Southern Hemisphere, this is a time to celebrate the light.

No matter where we live, the Solstice will get us all thinking about what goals we want to set for the year ahead.

The start of Capricorn Season is a wonderful time for setting long-term goals and for thinking about those new year resolutions, so use this energy if you feel called.

Then on December 25-26, we have a Capricorn Solar Eclipse.

Talk about an action-packed holiday season!

This Eclipse is opening a portal to a new wave of consciousness and while it is intense, it does carry sweet, almost-lucky energy!

Even though December 25-26 can be a busy time for those celebrating the holidays, see if you can break away and light and candle. Meditate and visualize yourself aligning higher and raising your vibration.

If you are with your family at this time, see if you can use this energy to honor where you have grown, changed, or still struggle.

Our family can sometimes bring out the worst in us, but can also be valuable teachers. Being surrounded by family can be an amazing gift and lesson, so let’s try to use it!

And if you need support try my Cosmic Guided Meditation for December. It offers relaxation, stress-relief, and gives you a little wellness tool to use throughout the season at any time!

So, enjoy the energies as we wrap up the year. Use the Eclipse to jump through to a new consciousness. Use its energy to accelerate your spiritual growth and to set an intention for the year ahead.

December is a month for closure but also for welcoming in the new. No matter what comes, take the time to be kind and respectful of yourself and your journey.

It doesn’t matter if you feel you didn’t live up to the expectations of what you thought this year would be. It doesn’t matter if you had plans that never came to fruition. It doesn’t matter if you made mistakes along the way, for the time has come to forgive and release them all.

December is a month to celebrate where you are. To honor where you are.

Trust that whatever has dropped away from your life has no room for you in 2020. Trust that whatever has come into your life is there to help propel you in 2020.

2020 is a huge transition and turning point. It is a time where we are leveling up and experiencing a higher frequency of energies.

Even though the road may have been painful. Even though we may feel like we are not where we supposed to be, or not living the life we thought we would be, we are still here, still in the work, and still open to the possibilities of what we can offer life.

Thanks for going on this cosmic journey with me! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a great start to 2020.

*******

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[myfriendpokey]

GARBAGE DAY!

a bunch of scrappy shorter pieces to clean out my drafts folder for the new year!

***

A videogame will tend towards exhausting every possible variation of a design space whether anyone wants it to or not.

Videogames and duration - if something is good it should continue being good however long you extend it. You don't really encounter the idea that something can be good for a little while and then be evil.

***

Works of art are "in conversation" with their audience, with materials, with history, with each other. The aim of an artwork is to start, or add to, "the conversation". "Conversation" sort of edges out the older tic whereby art "examines" or "explores" something, which always made me think of a big magnifying glass being propped up for the benefit of some eerily calm 1950s scientist. But now that sounds too chilly, and perhaps sort of sketchy in the power dynamics it implies. "Conversation" is much warmer, informal and more fluid - "conversation" is the assurance that any given power dynamic can be dissolved away in the warm glow of basic, mutual humanity. Let's talk it through! My door is always open! Whenever there's a complaint over labour conditions or harassment it's nearly de rigueur to also quote the wounded-sounding HR lackey, upset that people didn't talk to them about it before going public. Why would anybody deny the friendly, outstretched hand of the respected opponent and their entirely in-good-faith quibbling about word meanings, personality and tone? Why don't we have an honest conversation about the "honest conversation", that numbing discourse cloud sprayed out like formic acid to neutralize a threat, to melt any unsettling edges or contraries back into the familiar gloop of the private and the personal.

***

One of the pleasures of videogames is that of an infinitely repeatable, always identical procedure. Pressing the button makes something happen, and by pressing it again it will happen again in the same way. So there's a kind of abundance or excess built into the system - like partaking of a fruit which will never be depleted, and in the process taking on in your own actions something of that same infinity. You can temporarily identify with the self-identical, eternally reproducing action that you are performing. I think one of the difficulties of videogames is that as you get (slightly!) older, that immortal quality becomes more visibly alien, harder to align to your sense of self. That these mechanics act like black holes, able to absorb any amount of your life without ever being satiated, becomes a terrible curse rather than an unexpected gift. That endlessness now seems eerie and artificial, a horrible parody of life rather than the highest version of it. 

The dadification of vgames has gone much remarked. But as well as a demographic shift I think this reflects a certain anxiety about the centrality of these immortal entities, these endless loops, within the culture. As reward for your fealty to the Mario brand you get even more Mario games, which by now you may not have time or energy to actually play. The VG dad (or even the buff, single pseudo-dads of the superhero movies) is eternally exhausted with the genre that he’s trapped in. We hear him groan and complain as he painfully slogs through the motions. The gratuitous loop is redeemed by the finite human suffering of the dad, as he manfully does what it takes to keep these things going forwards to the next generation, so that the next set of children may be able to actually take pleasure in them again. But the attempt to symbolically re-integrate these things into human life by casting them as a family drama never quite works: their ultimate indifference to that life shines through. A blind, eerie deathlessness is both their charm and their authority.

***

That saying that when all you have is a hammer everything else looks like a nail - similarly, when all you have is willpower, everything looks like an obstacle to be pounded into submission by that same willpower. 

Laziness is a good thing in that it means stepping back from this idiot insatiability of the will. If you're lazy you have to pay more attention, because you're more aware of both your own limits and the limits of your material. 

I think there can be value in suspending a formal problem rather than building an exhaustive system to solve it forever. That way it's still something you have to think about, something that still throws off and reroutes the normal workings of your awful private fantasy machine. Dropping text strings into the game as elements to spatially encounter is not ideal technically but does force you to be more responsive and exploratory with how you use that text. Robust systems can be cool, but can also really homogenize everything - now "text" is just the miscellaneous stuff within the all-purpose "textbox" at the bottom of the screen, cementing its role as filler content.

The funny thing about really systemic, open-world type games is that their very robustness tends to suffocate exprience before it happens. We know nothing will happen which will significantly impact this camera POV, this dialogue system.. anything can happen except for anything which would require a fundamental change to the underlying inventory system. But maybe the whole pleasure of the open world game is just being able to hold those experiences in suspense.

***

Mostly the characters voicing my own opinions in my videogames are explicitly malign and sinister - which is a corny device for me to vent without worrying as much about browbeating people with my opinions. But it's also a way of having those opinions without allowing them to overdetermine the rest of the game, or be fully in control over the more ambivalent and drifting work of "putting together different pieces on a screen to make interesting spaces". So in that sense my own ideas really are the enemies, and any plot role they serve in the game is a dramatisation of the effort to create a space where they lack controlling power.

***

RPG Maker is a collage machine, you get a set of pictures and start placing them around until they start to form some kind of charged and interesting space.

I think the collage aspect is a lot of what I enjoy about making these things, which is why games with more polished or consistent art styles frequently leave me cold. For me the greater the discrepancy between different objects on screen means a greater effect when they're combined. 

How does gameplay etc tie in? For me gameplay can divert the interest but never truly capture it. For decades games have had the problem of effectively being able to train you to do something, but having no idea what that thing should be or why it would matter. They effectively move your attention around without being able to settle it because their inner logic is basically always the same ahistorical, mechanistic void. But this can be a good thing - the permanently restless and unsettled nature of videogame attention can't illuminate itself, but can do so to other things in passing. 

Distraction becomes a way to examine surfaces, rather than being sucked into depths or settled to one fixed meaning. And the drift of unsettled consciousness is ultimately what animates game collages, the spaces that shift and react as attention plays across them, revealing or withholding. And so from this perspective, the answer to why I make videogames is: because I don't trust myself to look after an aquarium.

***

Design is managerial aesthetics - a mode of expertise framed as meta-expertise specifically because it scales up so well to systems of mass organisation and production. It's a universal discipline insofar as the task of removing any obstacles to the frictionless flow of attention and of capital is now also a universal chore. In this context a designer is like the MBA who can be dropped into any business to improve it, without ever having to know just what product they make – because the ultimate goal is always the same, the same tools can always be used. 

The cutesy books about the design of everyday life and so forth exist in the same vein as the ones that tell us there's nothing wrong with marketing because ultimately isn't all human discourse and activity some form of marketing? Isn't everything "design"? The strange top-heaviness with which these things outgrow their host categories parallels the unstoppable expansion of executive salaries within the businesses themselves. The task of managing other people's labour becomes ever more grandoise, ineffable, cosmic and well-paid as that labour in turn is framed as a kind of undifferentiated slop which exists for the sake of being shaped by creatives.

***

tragedy / comedy:

Generalizing hugely I feel like tragedy is about an event or experience so powerful it changes everything - for the characters involved, for the people in that world, for the audience watching - while conversely comedy is the idea that no event or experience can change anything. Oedipus dies and there's a big announcement and everyone has to sit through the awkward two-minute silence before getting back to work, while trying not to fart or itch too noticeably, and the next day somebody's selling Oedipus commemorative pens which run out of ink five minutes after opening, and the pen cap gets lost and the cat starts playing with it. 

In comedy the tragic can still happen, it’s just never strong enough to escape the constraints of the inert material universe which we find ourselves in – all that which remains so stubbornly intractable towards the higher instincts. I can talk about the dignity of man but there's still a risk that my pants will fall down or that someone will hit me with a ladder, causing my head to get stuck inside a bucket of paint, etc. Or my voice might be ridiculous or I might have a stutter (old comedy standbys!), or someone might hear part of my words out of context and assign them a different and unintended meaning. Comedy is consciousness imprisoned within a cumbersome matter which it can't completely do anything with, but also can't exist without. 

Taken as a worldview, this sort of risks congealing into the kneejerk reactionary things-can-never-change, whatever-moment-of-human-history-i-was-reared-in-is-eternal-and-inviolate radio DJ / South Park mindset. And of course somebody's view of what constitutes a tragic, life-changing event depends greatly on whether it's happening to them or someone else. But as exaggeration, in its neurotic overemphasis of the inescapable material, i think this approach still has interest and use. Many of my favourite writers have a kind of comic understanding of consciousness: consciousness becomes a churning material process with its own independent momentum which has to be examined and accounted for as part of any real reckoning with the world. In this light comedy becomes a way to think about opacity and limitation, both in physical matter and in our own selves.

I think many people have made the point that vgames are generally comic, intentionally or unintentionally. The rhetoric around them still tends towards the tragic: make the choice which changes everything! Deal with the consequences, accept your fate! But in practice those moments feel less visible than the clumsy material layer of GUIs, inputs, mechanics and representations that contain and constrain them. The opacity of the black box is one inhibition: was that meant to happen? Was it scripted or a glitch? Maybe I should reload my save and try again. Another is the inertia of the various game systems and loops themselves - [x] character may have died but you still need to collect those chocobo racing feathers if you want the Gold Sword. The numbers in a videogame "want" to keep going up, whatever happens: there's an affordance there which exists independently to any merely human wants and needs, and so tends to act as a gravity well for distracted consciousness as it wanders around. When people talk about tragedy in videogames it's usually with the implicit rider that it's within a game, or set of game conventions, which have become naturalised enough to become invisible. Which also tends to mean the naturalisation of a form, of inputs, of technology, of distribution mechanisms and assumptions, which however arty we can get are still inherently tied to the tech industry. Every art game is to some extent an invitation to spend more time internalising the vocab of your windows computer.

I've mentioned that the materialism of comedy can tend towards unthinking reaction. But the insistence on certain limits inherent to the human body – requirements like clean water and clean air, food and shelter, actual bathroom breaks and not piss jugs and also not having to live six feet beneath a rising sea level - can be helpful at a point when all these things are regarded as negotiable impediments to the pursuit of future profit. Maybe it’s a good thing that some materials can still be so insistent about refusing to be absorbed into the will.

***

I think what I most enjoy about art is the sense of a game with moveable stakes: where you never quite know the value of what you're playing for, which now appears absolutely trivial, and now appears to stand in judgement of the whole world, etc. I think this is also the Adorno idea of the aesthetic as really the extra-aesthetic, that which can step outside or threaten to step outside the limits of the merely aesthetic. It's why "just make a good game / pop song / comic / etc" never quite works, in rhetoric or in practice: the really good pop song is never that which just gives the enjoyable three minutes of listening we might consciously assign to be its remit, it's what overflows or undercuts that category, that which however briefly seems at risk of stepping outside it and into the realm of everyday life.

I grew up on pop culture so I don't have to feel positively towards it. Who am I meant to be defending it from? The handful of surviving WASPs reared on Brahms who get the ostentatiously-fussy-culture-review posts at print newspapers looking to pick up a slightly higher quality of margarine advertisement? The best thing pop culture ever gave me was its own critique: that of containing artists and moments which couldn't be squared with what the rest of it was saying, which seemed  to call the whole enterprise into question and in doing so broadened the sense of what was possible. Pop culture was never quite identified with itself, the value it has is in containing elements which make that self-identification impossible. So it always throws me off to see people celebrating "pop culture", like it's a self-produced totality, when that totality was only ever good for kicking.

Pop culture survives through a negativity it can never properly acknowledge.

[images: Tower of Druaga, Detana!! TwinBee, True Golf Classics: Wicked 18, Microsurgeon, Dark Edge]

[animatevibration-blog]

Mad Titan, Or Last Man

Please note that this is an incomplete assessment of motivations simply because comic book characters will never have an end to their story. I am also not informed on Thanos’ current exploits in the comics since I have not read Marvel, or any comics for a number of years. The focus will be on an older iteration of Thanos and his fascination with death that I believe derived from him growing up in a utopia of immortals essentially. Also, this is not an explanation of the Hollywood version of Thanos since his motivations make no sense and is clearly just political propaganda from writers that don’t know anything about population trends. This is not a super in-depth analysis either, I’ve merely looked at his motivations through the lens of the Nietzschean last man, as well as the underground man from Dostoevsky's works.

I had difficulty understanding it at first, mostly because I personalized concepts too much that I shouldn’t have, namely Lady Death. Which in turn, made Thanos’ motivations look like an outburst of an angsty teenage boy. You can’t fully personalize a concept in a story otherwise you miss the point, Lady Death is still death itself, the only real reason it was given form is because that’s seems to be the easiest way to relate to values expressed in stories; it makes it easier to embody them through secondary personalization, which is a term coined by the psychologist Eric Neumann. Secondary personalization is an act from which the more something is understood, the more it is refined in the consciousness until it’s anthropomorphised completely, creating almost a god image within the individual. It’s essentially the same as the image of Helen of Troy discovered by Faust when he travels to the realm of the mothers, she was the spirit of unbridled creative generation and freedom that he longed for. Lady Death is the anthropomorphised value of what Thanos desires most, and he expresses it as female because he is male, because it’s that which he lacks, the other part of his reality. That is partly a Jungian notion from which the male takes an inward journey to discover the Anima within, or his inner feminine that is tied to his highest value, making the attaining of that value an almost sexual act of union between being and image, something like that.

“But wait” you may say, “then why is Death a woman to all within the Marvel universe?” Good question, that is because the concept of death has always been a feminine one throughout history; it is the consumptive element of nature that consumes the life that came before so that successive generations may come into being. The easiest picture to express this in is the Ouroboros, the serpent that eats its tail. It is the sphere that contains existence from which death, or consumption is the precursor to new life. Other faces of death are the Babylonian Tiamat, the Malekusian Le-Hev-Hev which translates to “she who draws us in with a smile so she may consume us.” There is also Nut from Egyptian myth, the mother sky who embraces all in death, which you can see her image placed on sarcophagi, and Ta-Urt who is the bestial guardian of the underworld. Death is Feminine because it is part of nature, or the great mother earth, so it’s not surprising that we will portray it as a woman... Most of the time.

For this assessment though, I want to focus on Lady Death as a very singular expression of his “highest art” so to speak, which arised from the stagnancy of Utopianism. So, let’s begin.

What would a man(or eternal) strive for when perfection was already attained? I really needed to think about that for a second because when you think about utopia, the interesting bits are always the struggle to achieve it. That’s where the meat is in such a value system, that’s where all the action is, and that’s when I had an idea. So, what would a man(eternal) strive for when perfection was already attained? Perhaps he would strive for struggle itself. Perhaps when given eternity, what then would be more desirable than the finite? What could you desire more after you are given the universe through society, than to have it all taken away? It sounds crazy doesn’t it, who would ever destroy perfection merely to struggle? Well, a human would... Even in the face of eternal happiness and comfort, simply to achieve one semblance (if even for a moment) of the meaning that comes only from the finite and imperfect, a person would dash it all away.

That is the purpose of Thanos, he craves the one thing that was taken from him by his parents, and the society that believed it knew better, namely death. Honestly, what meaning could you ever possibly find in a world where people have already conquered the most meaningful aspect of it? Things have to die, things have to wear down, they need to decay because the universe isn’t a structured space of rules and laws. It bends, it curves, it’s constantly changing, it’s a flow of perpetual becoming. The speed of light itself is constantly changing, and that is the speed of causality itself, which is the frame from which events can even happen in reality. Laws, structures, immortality are all societal concepts born from consciousness, more precisely the consciousness of the left hemisphere; especially the concept of immortality. Things are always changing, we just cant perceive most of it, and you, are not really you. Everything you are now is the current complexity of a a cosmic lineage that dates back to the very beginning of existence. All the material that makes up your being came from the death of something before you. Whether it be the nutrients you ingest from animals and plants, or the elements of you refined in the cores of long dead stars. You are a process, not an end, and to extricate yourself from that process is to produce a fate far worse than death could ever be, an immortal Utopia.

I had to ask myself, is that really the goal of life, just to transcend it? If like the eternals that happens, what other outcome could you have but a utopia of eternal happiness and complacency? Why would you even want that when what is taken is so much? What other options could you ever have than sacrificing everything that made you human; to place it all at the alter of godhood, so that you could simply keep existing and going through the motions like a machine. There’s a reason why vampires are portrayed as impulsive nihilists most of the time, because what the hell else can you do with eternity once you have it. Of course there is a universe full of possibility within the universe, but it will never be achieved by the eternals because they are no longer part of that process and the only kind progress they can achieve is scientific analytical processes which is very indicative of western culture now, because that’s all they value. Which in turn will probably only lead to them becoming like Celestials, ethereal nothings that don’t exist in reality, that don’t understand the underlying complexity and importance of emotion, and merely act like computers.

That entire society and Thanos himself is a microcosm, most likely of the projected anxiety of a post-industrialized society that puts far too much (to an almost pathological degree) value in a singular system of linear analytical cognitive progress. My god ladies and gentlemen, if eternity was sitting in a lab continually making it easier for people to live for the eternity they have anyway, where all that’s left are mere intellectual and habitual procreative pursuits, I would also think death and destruction would be a far more preferable option, it could even become an ideal. Jesus, just try it for a hundred years and get back to me on how you feel about it. I don’t blame Thanos for pining after it, lusting after it, making it his muse, his companion, the Galatea to his Pygmalion, his reason for being. It’s meaning that matters, not more life, not happiness, not perfection, It’s the meaning in the struggle for more life, it’s the meaning you derive from struggling for happiness, it’s the meaning in life that you derive from struggling for perfection that gives depth to existence. It’s not the result, it’s the process. Death matters because it makes everything beautiful, everything meaningful, everything is something you will never see again, something that will never be again. Struggle matters because it makes you more than what you were, it allows you to change. Now let me talk about struggle more.

To struggle is to be human, to suffer is to truly live. Humans are the only beings that can say life is suffering and have a smile on their face. And humans are the only beings in the known universe that will willfully suffer in full understanding of it. Each person has a vast ocean of dormant potential in them just waiting to be realized. I don’t say that in a metaphorical way, though that’s the best way to describe it. You have a plethora of dormant genes in you that wait for the right environmental factors to be activated and embodied as new modes of being, because humans are action oriented, not cognitive oriented. It’s the notion of wishing upon the stars, each one represents a potentiality of what you could be, and you have a choice, you can pick a star and struggle for it. But if you don’t have to struggle anymore, if you have forever and everything provided for you, you won’t do it, you won’t experience it, because you don’t have to. I say this because Thanos is human, strikingly human, perhaps even the greatest of what humanity could be, essentially he is the underground man in a world of last men.

“I tell you: one must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star. Alas! There comes a time when man will no longer give birth to a star. Alas! There comes a time of the most despicable man, who can no longer despise himself. Behold! I show you the last man, ‘What is love? What is longing? What is a star?’ So asks the last man and he blinks. The earth has become small, and on it hops the last man who makes everything small.”

“His species is ineradicable like that of a flea; the last man lives the longest. ‘We have invented happiness’ says the last man, and blink. They have left the regions where it was hard to live for one needs warmth. Becoming sick and being suspicious are sinful to them: One proceeds carefully. He is a fool who still stumbles over stones or human beings!”-Thus Spoke Zarathustra p.13

Of course, it would be very rational to want such an existence, and everyone on his world is very rational, but rational isn’t reasonable, and reasonable isn’t meaningful. People are contradictions unto themselves. They almost never want what they need, or need what they want, or even want what they want. The easy paradisaical life is a beautiful dream full of splendor and joy... Only so long as it stays a dream. If man were to make his dream a reality I believe, well, I know that the moment after he would spit on the very ground he toiled so arduously to build and content himself with its absolute destruction,  just so something interesting could happen in his utopia. That is the folly of it, and that’s what I believe Thanos saw, even if he didn’t understand it himself. That is essentially Dostoevsky's notion of utopia and the values of enlightenment which is basically the society the eternals had made. 

“There are continually turning up in life moral and rational persons, sages and lovers of humanity to make it their object to live all their lives as morally and rationally as possible, to be, so to speak, a light to their neighbors simply in order to show them that it is possible to live morally and rationally in this world. And yet we all know that sooner or later those people have been false to themselves, playing some queer trick, often a most unseemly one. Now I ask you? What can be expected of man since he is being endowed with such strange qualities? Shower upon him every earthly blessing, drown him in a sea of happiness, so that nothing but bubbles of bliss can be seen on the surface; give him economic prosperity, such that he should have nothing else to do but sleep, eat cakes and busy himself with the continuation of his species, and then out of sheer ingratitude, sheer spite, man will play you some nasty trick. He would even risk his cakes and would deliberately desire the most fatal rubbish, the most uneconomical absurdity, simply to introduce into all of this positive good sense his fatal fantastic element. It is just his fantastic dreams, his vulgar folly that he will desire to retain, simply in order to prove to himself(as though it were so necessary) that men are still men and not keys of a piano, which the laws of nature threaten to control so completely that one will be able to desire nothing but by the calendar. And that is not all: even if man were nothing but a piano key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of simple ingratitude, simply to gain his point. And if he does not find means he will contrive destruction and chaos, will contrive suffering of all sorts, only to gain his point! He will launch a curse upon the world, and as only man can curse (it is his privilege, the primary distinction between him and other animals), may be by this curse alone he will attain his object- that is, convince himself he is a man and not a piano key! If you say that all this, too, can be calculated and tabulated chaos darkness and curses, so that the mere possibility of calculating it all beforehand would stop it all, and reason would reassert itself, then man would purposely go mad in order to be rid of reason and gain his point!” -Notes From Underground p.230-231

The point I’m expressing is that people are inherently chaotic, and that they love it too, it’s the source of our greatest freedom, the dancing star. We would also destroy all that was good for us merely to keep it. That chaos is lethal to utopianism and eternity. Thanos killed his people and worshiped death because perfection had a flaw, it was meaningless. They sacrificed everything for it, and in turn missed the sole notion powerful enough even to propel one to remake the whole universe and succeed... death. But, that’s just some guys opinion. 

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 6  Review: A Pizza the Action

A common complaint that I’ve seen thrown at the season so far is the comedic focus. It’s an understandable criticism. We’re going into Episode 6 and aside from one or two moments, there has been very little plot and the little we have is confusing. It’s safe to say that we’re due for something big to hit us about now. Can Joe deliver on this? Well... the fact that I can’t think of a segway should be a big hint. 

Overview

We begin in 16th Century Italy where Grif is trying to get the local inhabitants to start inventing pizza. Since he can’t speak Italian, it goes about as well as you’d expect. Doc is watching, clearly getting tired of the pizza quest by now. I looked it up and according to Google pizza was invented in 1889. That would be in the 19th Century so... yeah Grif sucks at history. I now 100% believe that he just went back too far in Episode 4, Sammie’s didn’t sell pizza at first, and those kids were just fucking with him. Would anyone be surprised? So yeah, Grif continues to fail and refuses to just invent it himself cause laziness. Doc is tired of the whole thing, wanting to use the Portal Gun for more important things. Grif continues to refuse, so Doc decides to invent it himself.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have not had great luck with their plan to bang celebrities. Essentially Tucker crushed people with horses. How? IDK. But he did. So the two have ended up back in the present at the retirement moon. Tucker decided to go there since he assumed that everyone else would get the same idea and they could all meet back up. Since no one else is there though and the two are pretty sick of each other, they decide to go get drunk. Little do our bickering Blues know, however, Muggins is nearby...

Alright, back to Grif and Doc where it looks like Doc succeeded in making pizza! They did briefly go to the present to pick up ingredients so kudos for the foresight there... but still fail to go to the correct century so they’re still doomed to fail. To be fair, Doc makes the pizza correct... but got healthy ingredients so Grif is pissed. Finally fed up., Grif decides to take a nap, mumbling about how what he loves was taken and now he has to fix it. More on this later. Doc once more pushes for the ‘saving lives’ ideal, revealing that a part of why he became a medic was because his little brother drowned and he failed to save him. It seems to go ignored as Grif snores away, leaving Doc to just mumble about how if hadn't betrayed everyone, they’d have been able to save people. There’s a noticeable shot on Grif as the scene ends though, so... yeah he totes heard all of that. More later. Oh gosh, so much for later...

We cut back to the moon where Tucker and Sister are drunk as fuck. They continue to bicker. Apparently the base got a shipment of booze and a new body for Lopez... so I guess that Grif called for resources during his exile and the delivery guys took their sweet ass time. Typical. Anyways the two continue to argue over their failures at celebrity sex, though we do find out that they murdered Hitler on purpose. SO YES GOOD. Anyways, it looks lie they’re about to have hate sex when Mugigns shows up. He gives one HELL of an intro to King Atlus, but since Tucker and Sister know that they’re drunk, they just assume that they’re hallucinating. At least until Tucker realizes that they’re having the same hallucination. Too little, too late as Atlus... blows them up... yeah... well fuck.

Back on the 16th Century, Grif is up and goes to Doc, who si already bracing to hear the same pizza spiels again. But while Grif makes it clear that he DOES still want his pizza... he’s decided to finally cut Doc some slack and let him go save lives. That... that is so sweet OMG! I am so happy! Grif starts to hand Doc the gun... until Huggins reveals herself, telling him to stop. Grif is confused... and Doc uses the open moment to grab the gun and knock Grif down. He begins laughing evily, his voice noticeably becoming mroe menacing sounding. My friends, O’Malley is back. He opens a portal and escapes, leaving Grif alone with Huggins in the 16th Century with no way out. In other words, FUCK.

Review

HOLY. SHIT.

Okay, so... lets do Tucker and Sister first before we get to the big stuff. So first,t hey are not dead. I do not believe for a second that they are dead. What happened to them IDK. Maybe they opened a portal and got out. Maybe someone else swooped in and saved them, like Donut. We’re probably not going to know for awhile. But there is no way in Hell that they are dead. Aside from that, their scene was amusing and they killed Hitler. So good. What’ll happen with them now IDK, but I think their celebrity banging is done.

Okay, that’s done! Lets get to Doc cause DAMN. I should have seen O’Malley coming. I really, really should have. But I did not. Might be because all last season aside form like five seconds and all of this one so far, O’Malley being a thing again was ignored. It feels like Joe took advantage of that and that most fans had accepted it by this point cause that reveal, HOLY SHIT. So the brother story was probably a lie. hell, apparently ‘deek’ means ‘a deceptive move’. But it does raise some questions. How long as O’Malley been in the drivers seat? Were any of Doc’s lines this season, or even last season, himself? Or as O’Malley? How long did O’Malley plan this? If I had to guess, at least since Episode 4 when eh first went on the ‘saving lives’ rally and by then, hey figured out how the gun worked. Plus I really don’t thin he would have saved Grif at least the first time, so yeah I imagine that Doc was Doc until they figured out the gun, then O’Malley began to make his own plans.

Honestly, the whole reveal was fuckin’ brilliant. Through the past few episodes, Doc acted exactly like... well, Doc. I kind of wondered bout if we’d see O’Malley, but even back in Season 13 O’Malley was strictly used for either comedy or to let Doc get violent during the final battles. Joe played the audience like a freakin’ fiddle. I am still not over the turn of events. Very well done. Also IDK if this means that O’Malley is the true Big Bad or not. If he was, I would like to assume that the Cosmic Gods would be focusing all their efforts on finding and killing Doc instead of everyone. No, it seems more like this is just one part of a MUCH larger plot that spells out the universe’s doom. Still, it is nice to have O’Malley back and the way he played Grif was freakin’ brilliant. Incredibly well done.

Grif... God Joe just seems to love making him suffer. Then again Joe has said before that Grif is his favorite, and writers like making their favorite suffer (speaking from experience here). But God... so lets talk about before the betrayal first. Grif’s line about how he lost what he loves and has to fix it really hits me. Okay, I am probably looking too deeply into this... but it’s my blog so I can if I want to! That line perfectly encapsulates Grif’s entire character so far this season. He’s referring to pizza no longer existing, but think back to Episode 2. He was trying to keep everyone away from every scenario that would cause an adventure. And he failed through no fault of his own. He wanted to go back to doing nothing with the others, and it got broken. He saw it as his job to turn things back to the way it used to be. Back when they didn’t have any fucks to give and when they used to just stand around and talk. He felt that he HAD to steer everyone back on that route. He had to fix it before everything he loved got yanked away from him again.

In other words, pizza is a metaphor for the Reds and Blues to Grif. I think he’s sticking to the pizza out of desperation to have SOMETHING good. Something normal. Hell, maybe he thinks that when he’s invented pizza and things are back to normal, the others will just eventually flock back and they can forget Donut’s warning. That’s stupid, but with Grif’s current state it is completely understandable. But he cant even get that because pizza somehow ceased to exist and Doc made the healthy type. He’s so fed up that he can’t even get a freakin’ slice of pizza without the universe giving him the middle finger. It just really sucks to be Grif tbh and this season in particular makes you feel horrible for him, especially considering last season.

And if the universe couldn't be anymore of a bitch well then look at the ending. Grif actually sympathized with Doc’s sad dead sibling story. Which of course he would. Considering he has a little sister and I imagine that there were plenty of ‘oh shit, she’s dead! WTF do I do!’ moments in his life, that is absolutely how you would get to him. Grif actually felt bad and out of the kindness of his heart, decided to let Doc have his way. Which is a very good character moment for Girf. Yeah he’s a lazy asshole, but he’s not a bad person. He does care about the others, even if he hates to admit it. He can relate to things like worrying over a sibling big time since that was probably all eh did during his childhood. Last season he missed the others so much that he painted their faces onto volleyballs just to have them around in some form/to express how much he regretted it. And even though he fell on his face, he did still try to attack Temple head-on to save the others when they were in armor lock and I fully believe had the lasso trick not failed, he’d have absolutely decked Temple in the face to save them. I can write an entire post on how much Grif truly cares, and this moment really showed that...

...and if he never displays and selfless tendencies again, we can blame O’Malley. But really think about this. OMalley completely manipulated Grif with no effort. That in itself will probably convince Grif to never trust anyone ever again. But really think about where things stand now. O’Malley has left Grif stranded in the 16th Century. Alone. Well Huggins is there, and I imagine that she’ll help him in some way and I am looking forward to their interactions/Grif potentially becoming a protective big bro figure to her. But still, ti doesn’t change the fact that after everything, Grif is alone. After he quit to finally be done with adventure, eventually went back, broke out of his lazy persona to deal with the Blues and Reds to be done with it, and tried his damnest to keep everyone out of adventures, what did it lead to? Everyone got separated, he got stuck with Doc, Doc used him, and now he’s been left alone. After all his efforts and going to Hell and back, Grif is right back to where he was in Season 15: stuck alone on the moon... well it’s Italy but you get the point. But at least in S15 it was by his own choice. This time? It was all by forces beyond his control. That... that is just incredibly cruel when you think about it... this arc better end with Grif happy or so help me.

FInal Thoughts

I fuckin’ loved this episode. It had one Hell of a twist that I did not see coming and it was executed perfectly. The plot is finally kicking in, and boy Joe is NOT holding back. It was funny, it was sweet, it was shocking, and I am still processing all of it. For those who felt lie the season hadn’t been delivering, then strap yourselves in cause Joe has arrived with the goods. I am incredibly excited to see what happens next!