#idek if anyone cares I just had to share tbh

[fruitsofbeingafraid]

hiiiiiii mechs fandom

also would you rather direct, act in, play in (if you play an instrument), tech for, or watch the show?

rambling under cut

imo its very dependent on which album

bc i desperately want to act in tbi, odin and loki are some of my most unrealistic dream roles but god the things i'd give. idek how it'd look but i would love to be a part of it

whereas with hnoc i just want it to exist, i don't know if i would even care to be involved or how i would want to be involved, i'd just want it to exist (but on the other hand being galahad or merlin or mordred or guinevere or literally anyone??? or doing tech? i just want it to exist)

i'd like to direct udad, because i have the whole thing planned out in my brain and i would be sad if someone directed it differently than how i'm imagining it and i'd love to be able to have a creative process for that (as far as prometheus being the song for bows???)

with ouatis i don't even know if i'd want it to exist because i don't know if a stage production could do it justice, i think it's probably better as an audio-only experience tbh but if you have ideas please share!!

[gralunaisland]

Just noticed your tags, hooray to ask boxes!!

I would recommend allowing anon just cause some people are shy, I think it'll get you more asks (unless you're being harassed then I would def turn them off cause that helps)

Haha how perceptive, I tagged it on a whim! :D I wasn’t sure if people wanted to ever use it so I just hid it in there that it’s open 0w0

And you know that’s a good idea; I wasn’t even aware that anonymous was turned off! I think my initial thought process, assuming I ever had one, was that I didn’t want people using it just to insult me in a cowardly way, but tbh I shouldn’t care even if they do, so I’ll make it so people can ask anonymously.

Thank you for the suggestion! o(｀^ ´*)

Also I guess I’ll just use this post to let people know my ask box is open if anyone wants to ask questions or just share thoughts and opinions about gr///via or juvia or Gray or whomever in FT or anime really :D

Edit: Thanks to @youthinkofacoolname 's invaluable assistance, I realized my ask button wasn't even visible?? Why?? Idek. So anyway, now hopefully it's fixed for everyone! :D

[wooahaes]

.... ok, layton anon here again (I might just use that as a tag if that's okay? 👉🏻👈🏻)

I literally just typed out a long ass reply and then tumblr decided to crash - but maybe it's a sign to try and keep it shorter (update: i failed)

for the maze runner thing, it was honestly just about the "people appearing one after another without memories" I think aside from that it's very different, especially in terms of general atmosphere. I've read Day 1 too now btw and I loved it sm! I'm really intrigued to see how it continues<3

I hope your meds are safe for you to take and that they help quickly!!

yess him being like shigure would work really well (i also love shigure sm as a unit but that's a different story)

Also imma be honest as well - i'm the same. Birthright is the only one I finished and other than that I'm like almost through with awakening, halfway with echoes and revelations and idek how far with three houses. I think I get too much into strategizing and spend too much time planning out the classes and skills instead of just playing and then I tend to abandon the games for a while...

So since I'm not super deep into the story myself my 3h au isn't that deep. Y/n would take Byleths place, simply because it makes a lot of sense. And then I sorta assigned the units to the houses based on Vibes TM aka Blue Lions - HHU, Black Eagles - Vocal, Golden Deer Tiger - Performance.

I also felt that some characters shared traits or reminded me of members (Linhardt - Han, Ferdinand - Seungkwan, Sylvain - Mingyu, Claude - Hoshi, Ignatz - Hao). But they'd mostly be themselves and not take over the exact role of anyone. I've also have thoughts on classes for some but not for all. I think Woozi would be something along the lines of a General, Han would be a Dark Mage, Hoshi a Hero, Scoups a Swordmaster or Cavalier (or anything else just give the man a sword) and- yeah I think I'll end it here

thanks for letting me share my fire emblem brain rot!! have a good day/night/evening!<3

omg hiii thats absolutely fine!! i didnt want to just assign it to u but thats 100% fine w me!!

its ok i also fail at writing short responses 90% of the time dskfhdsf tumblr crashing during those is awful tho

ooo yeah fair :0 i can def see it!! ive learned a lot abt tmr through posting this fic lmao but im glad you liked day 1!! the fics gonna honestly slow down for a bit purely bc the next 13 parts are each individual members parts and those are honestly just gonna take a hot sec for me to like... be happy w all of them :(

aaa i still havent taken them just bc. anxiety bad! they shouldnt have any bad interactions since they're not a sulfa drug, but anxiety louder, y'know? im waiting until i know family is awake (yes ik its 4 pm shh) in case i need shit

i also love shigure but thats at least slightly bc of my love for m*tt m*rcer as a voice actor sdfhsdkjfh i adore him tho!! thats my beloved!!

i get DEEP in trying to figure out my units tbh i usually end up drafting out my pairings when i play. if awakening + conquest both had the ability to scout out things as easily as u can in birthright + revelations, i would have def beat them by now tbh.

but also i tend to abandon games after a while by accident sdkfhsdfh

i know little abt 3h but i am nodding along and golden tiger makes me happy. its what my man deserves <3

me lookin up these characters and sees ferdinand is confident and hates losing like YEP thats kwannie. i can see a lot of the comparisons u drew!! :0

i can def see general woozi + hero hoshi + swordsmaster cheol + dark mage han!! cheol is getting a sword and thats all i care about actually /j (nah but if i could give him some sort of rally skill, i think he + woozi + hosh would all have one in some shape!! and most likely seok too since booseoksoon leader ykno)

i honestly feel like shua would potentially be a war cleric. can heal you, but can also can Kill.

alternatively for hannie tho he could be thief -> trickster imo?

i honestly feel like vernon miiight either be a cavalier or an archer. its a gut thing tbh i cannot explain otherwise.

u are always welcome to share ur fe brainrot sdkfhsdf this blog is where i share my svt + trsr (+ skz tbh) brainrot now lmao y'all can Always share stuff ur interested in w me!! i hope u also have a good day/night/evening! <3

[eobard-thawne]

this post contains spoilers for justice society world war ii

tbh i didn’t like this film enough to rant about it but there was just SO MUCH to rant about and my love/hate relationship with dcau/dcamu is still strong as ever so i was still very excited about the film

i guess you can watch this film if you have time to spare. the film isn’t good at all. but it’s not so boring that it’s unbearable to watch either. but be prepared to be disappointed. or don’t have high expectations. 

BTW THESE ARE JUST MY PERSONAL OPINIONS I DON’T MEAN TO HURT OR OFFEND ANYONE IT’S LITERALLY JUST AN ANIMATED FILM IF YOU LIKED THE FILM THAT’S COOL IF YOU DIDN’T THAT’S COOL TOO BUT MY OPINIONS ARE MY OWN AND I DON’T THINK I OWE ANYONE ANY EXPLANATION whywasthiswastooaggressiveimsorry ok bye <3

but if you wanna share your opinions w me feel free to pls <3

before anything else, i wanna say that i’m so glad it wasn’t barry who time travelled (WELL IT’S ACTUALLY MULTIVERSAL TRAVEL BUT ANYWAYS) himself, but it was dr fate who took him. in the film, it seems to be that barry is flash only for a few years so there was still so much he didn’t know about his powers. so even if he did do the multiversal time travel himself, it would at least be forgivable lol.

execs clearly ran wild with the script since the fik was not canon and it was out of the main continuity but i still didn’t expect it to be this messy and sloppy.

first of all, the title might say “justice society” but let me tell you it’s VERY wonder woman centric. as i’ve expected. unfortunately.

i don’t understand why wonder woman was the team leader since it was implied that she was living in themyscira until the island was attacked. so considering that, she was only in ‘the man’s world’ for max a few years, and it doesn’t make much sense for her to be the team leader. because she doesn’t know the world as better as the others. and the other heroes are at least old enough to have witnessed wwi too. but every team needs a leader and maybe that’s why rest of the team was portrayed to be “not capable enough” in that regard compared to her.

she is cool tho. wonder woman is always cool and awesome and amazing. but she shouldn’t have had this much screen time.

after ww, jay garrick seems to be the one who got the most screen time. it was also very cool seeing his scientist side too. but it still wasn’t enough in my opinion. i love jay so much though he was great and his scenes with barry was very sweet too <333

hawkman was so unfairly treated in the animated universe, i was surprised to see that he was given more than 2 lines lol. same with hourman. they definitely deserved more screen time and more lines-- since they’re heavily underused characters in the entire dc universe.

i honestly don’t know enough about the first black canary, dinah drake, but i loved her in the film!!! it seems that it’s made a lot of fans happy that she was a part of the film so that was beautiful to see. and i loved her dynamics with hawkman and i thought it would lead to more buuuut.......

i don’t wanna ramble much because the film is 90 minutes i swear i can find some flaw or a plot hole every 15 min but i couldn’t care less at this point :(((

the script was EXTREMELY BAD. there was no fluidity between lines. the dialogue was..idk if it’s the right word for it but.. irregular??? it was just very messy i don’t know how else to explain it. it wasn’t flooding. it was like they weren’t talking to each other or some lines were missing.

the world war ii part was only in the film UNTIL the team stumbled upon atlantis. i was very excited to see aquaman but it was quashed down very quickly bc he was under mind control by the advisor or whoever he was lol and you know, YOU KNOW mind control always ALWAYS ruins things.

so the scene completely changes after that!! world war ii completely forgotten, first 30-40 minutes we were in europe and fighting n*zis and all of a sudden everyone’s in new york and the rest of the film, the team fights those huge sea monsters in new york?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!???????????

btw there is like SO MANY MISSING SCENES between every scenery change. when dinah, carter and the others fight in new york, barry and diana are gone FOR SO LONG!!! like. where are they????? this happened so many times in the film it was so weird. i didn’t like it at all. :(

at some points aquaman is snapped out of mind control after ww breaks. his. trident (LITERALLY HOW LOL) and he just....leaves????????? he jusT LEAVES LIKE THAT DUDE AT LEAST HELP WITH THE CLEAN UP LIKE YOU’RE JUST GONNA LEAVE LIKE THAT?????????????? some lame “what have i done” and he just Left. hate to see you go but love to watch you leave arthur

(he deserved better)

(EVERYONE deserved better)

oh also superman is in the film too..........................yeah very underwhelming build up ?????? idek

there is SO many things i left out bc is it worth it?????????* no. 

hhhhhhhh im upset

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

[hel7l7]

This may come across as a odd and out of nowhere question, but its something that ive been thinking about for a long time now and haven't really the chance to ask anyone of what I call on the same artistic vibe, but where did you get the courage/inspiration to post your art? Ive always wanted to post my own but ive always feared of my art getting rejected or worse stolen, its the main thing holding me back, and just wanted to know what your experience was like? Sry if this is too personal ily🥰

U can ask me anything and tbh I don’t think this is an odd question at all! So lemme type. 

Before I had this tumblr I had this vent tumblr on where I posted just random shit about everything that happened in my life. It was a very unhealthy and negative space for me. And when certain people violated my privacy I deleted the blog.  At that time, I think the blog had like 10 art pieces of mine on there. Maybe it’s still findable on tumblr - idek tbh. And those got quite a few notes already. While the blog had like... 400 followers or something.  So I think that made me gain some confidence. I liked the idea of posting my art online because.. I don’t know. It felt like some shout into the void. It wasn’t really something I decided to do. It just felt right and I did it.  Even if it was just for myself and no one would like it. With the collages I also feel less pressure compared to my “regular” art. I do this because if I don’t make collages -I feel like I go insane. I draw and paint (aka “regular art”  because I want to make something pretty. And that’s a difference. With this I care much less about what other people think about it. Because it’s what I felt and made when I needed it.  What also helped me A LOT. Is the anonymity. At this point I’ve let quite a few facts about myself slip and with that it’s less mysterious than it used to be. But when I first started I just didn’t answer any question that would be a little bit personal. I show my feelings and deep laying fears and thoughts. But everything about me as a person aside from that I try to keep from here. And that’s fine. I’m here to share my art - not my personality or my selfies.  That made it easier to do it. I did it for myself and not because what other people thought of it.  About your art being rejected. It’s going to happen. Not everyone is going to like it. People have different tastes and styles, and we can’t all love the same things.  But that’s okay. If you stand for the things you made, and you like it, then that should be the most important! (When I started this blog I never meant for it to become so big, I didn’t care what people thought, I didn’t care if people liked it.) Don’t make the audience the goal, do it for yourself! The rest will follow. You can’t chase the audience. It’s simply impossible. If the audience likes X and you want to move on to Y then you should be able to do that, because it’s what you want.  Art being stolen or used without permission. This too is going to happen. And it sucks. It sucks balls.  I wasn’t very aware of how and when this would happen. But after a while I got a few messages, people asking for prints, or commissions. I’ve made things for people without getting a payment or adres to send it to. I have my own prints on my walls because someone asked for them and then never replied. I have gotten messages from friends who saw my art on others people pages. I’ve googled my blog and found my art on places I didn’t put it. And this too happens...  Like I said.. when I started I never even thought about people liking my art. So I never thought about this either. But if you want to or can, maybe think of a watermark or anything alike. (I want to do it but I find it so much work and I honestly haven’t found the time yet. But I might make some.) Anyway, you can think about that.   The last thing I wanted to mention is that I must say that my mindset in art changed through this blog. And not always in a positive way.  With all things mentioned above, the good always outweighed the bad. I have gotten so many messages from people who I have inspired, or helped, or made feel less alone in their struggle, that I didn’t care about the negative. The stolen art, the criticism, the time it takes to keep up with this blog and the pressure I feel sometimes.  But on some days I find myself getting too obsessed with the numbers. The notes/followers. And that makes that sometimes I lose the fun in it. I notice it now though, when I lose myself in it. But I wish it didn’t matter to me like it did in the beginning. But that too is a process I will grow in. So.. I’m sure I’ll find my way in it.  okay - i s t g - this was the longest answer to an ask ever. and also the most chaotic one I think. 

I hope I answered your question - and if not message me again ;) because this was a bit of a ramble. 

Love

- B. 

p.s. Go for it, share your art with the world! 

[thestralwarfare]

A ramble of sorts.

So if y'all know me, y'all be knowing my mental climate, its not the best, at least not right now it isnt.

I'm at an impasse caught between crossroads that extend, beyond the regular 3d visual and clichè "crossroad".

It's more of reaching the dendrites of a neuron and having to choose which specific synapse to travel across.

Basically, I'm a dumbass, now I know what you're gonna a say, no you aren't blah blah blah. But consider this.

I am.

In the world of humans and social interaction and its evolution to shrinking the world in terms of connectivity and accessibility, we tend to get caught up in the endless spiel or drivel that you have to be readily accessible at all times regardless of who you are and what you do.

I agree with that to an extent, some instances it really is the difference in life or death, so say from the view of medical professionals, asking for help, giving the location of a patient that needs urgent or emergency aid, it's basically paramount now to have it integrated right? Right.

But consider this,

I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm in no where emotionally or mentally able to extend myself more than my mind and after basically running that damned event I lost more of my sanity than I thought, I'm finally starting to put the pieces of my mind together and it's like I'm being bombarded with colossal meteors.

As to who or what is rolling out these mental near death blows doesn't negate the fact that I'm not able to deal with it well.

I've gone softer than I was.

I was more resilient than this, I had a heart of glazed glass but now it seems as though life wants to reenter this seemingly inanimate organ.

Why must my heart bleed? The only things that come from my empathy and feelings end up being painful. No one truly knows how to deal with someone with empathy well at least none that I've truly met.

But I try to understand how people won't be able to tell who you are or how your mental state is or how you actually on social media look doesn't reflect the mental load that's on your plate.

We are across screens communicating (mostly) via written words. It's obvious you dont see the panic ridden near corpse of a body that reels out those abysmal hysterical jokes, or the Voldemort under the bench at kings cross station appearance of my heart.

You dont know the human you are dealing with. You dont know how deeply they feel. You dont know who they really are and how they are fighting tooth and nail to stand up for themselves and be strong when all it feels like is a façade to them.

Standing up for myself?- selfishness

Wanting to heal myself (a task that I do all the time because I'm not gonna waste anyone's time)- selfish

Building confidence in myself when I dont know what it feels like- an impossible attempt at grasping the void caught betwixt stars

Loving myself- okay I'm failing at this because I am disgusting etc etc body dysmorphia periodt.

The other things I'm working on deal with anxiety, PTSD etc etc etc thanks for coming to the Ted talk periodt take 2.

No one or maybe very few in this modern age, would truly understand what it is liketo be raised to be a people pleaser, to sacrifice who you are, burn your very essence, your core, lose your path in life to help someone then when it's time for you to finally try to heal yourself. It's as if you are going to a kingdom you called home to find ruins, no familiarity no way or know how of what to fix or where to start from. You just stand there paralyzed with warm piss running down your legs cause you are afraid of what you see or rather, dont see anymore.

On top of thatttt

The people that say they care, developing attachment to them.

"Having to deal with such strong emotions that the smallest feeling of care from someone feels as though they are the only one rooting for you, you begin to idolize them, to need them, to crave them to become dependent on them."- as per the draft of this here post.

One day out of the goddamn blue,

Its night, no twilight, no stars, no moon, no foothold nothing.

It hits. No warning, no flag in the distance heralding its return.

It's a guest I've entertained for decades. Depression.

This time she bought gifts,

- lack of feeling joy in what would normally bring joy to my life such as art or music or anything creative tbh

-apathy, self explanatory but when it hits no one is truly able to understand how deep it cuts the ties that you hold, it takes away more than just the superficial and deep emotions, it takes away your reasoning as to why those emotions were there or if those emotions were even real.

-sui ideation. Self explanatory again but it's never been this strong and I've never had to hold myself back as much as I've had to do these past weeks.

-low mood, if y'all thought my final finals and that thing that happened then had me at my lowest, you would be right, but getting significantly close to that again....it was exhausting having to deal with it.

-low energy and moving slower than before

-change in appetite, from binging to starving myself

Then imagine while having these wonderful events occurring having to take a look at yourself from an outside perspective and seeing what it's doing to them, the people that say they care or have feelings for you.

To feel like you are wasting their life, too feel that whatever you shared is nothing but a farce because no one can truly care for a disaster. Hurricane skinned and magma filled veins.

You see, it doesn't matter what anyone says over the Internet it's hard to ascertain how much someone really means what they intend to say. Communication extends beyond words and people often times tend to forget that.

You can say that you care or that you had feelings, but there was no way to show it.

There is no real reassurance.

What could be better than sinking without dragging others down with you.

My closest friends have suspected something is up, the feel the change in the air as well.

It's like we are all prepping for it.

Will I or won't I?

The urge is there, the pros of it far outweighs the cons.

It's better if everyone that says they care leave.

It's easier that way.

Its always easy to lose the memory of the shape of smoke.

Tl;dr this human has pretty much tied up most if not all loose ends.

Those that care will move on to others, it's the way of life and I harbor no I'll will. I only want the best for everyone always.

Those that dont care, I also want the best for you maybe even more so, because I know your feelings are genuine and never had to second guess it.

To the fam, twas lit, like an atomic bomb.

Let's all be real here no one will miss me.

My fight isnt over, I'm still struggling to survive, as to why I'm even bothering idek anymore.

[homosociallyyours]

If you were making a mixtape (or I guess Spotify playlist or whatev) for someone who had never heard the Indigo Girls before, what would you put on it?

OOH thank you, I love this question!! 

I hate spotify so much, but if I didn’t I would make a legit playlist over there (maybe I will?)-- as it stands this is just a tracklist. I’m putting an explanation of the list below a cut, hopefully it won’t flood anyone’s dash with a text wall!!

1) Closer to Fine2) Land of Canaan3) Kid Fears, live with Trina Meade4) You and Me of the 10,000 Wars5) Three Hits6) Watershed7) Galileo8) Romeo and Juliet (cover)9) Power of Two 10) Mystery11) Reunion12) Language or the Kiss 13) Shame on You14) Get Out the Map15) Go16) Ozilline17) Fill It Up Again18) Heartache for Everyone19) Cordova20) Lay My Head Down21) Pendulum Swinger22) Three County Highway23) True Romantic (!!!!!)24) I’ll Change25) Share the Moon26) Southern California is Your Girlfriend27) Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright (cover)28) Shit Kickin’

1) Closer to Fine-- this is the song that people are most likely to know, a true classic. Boppy and fun, but with that noodle-y philosophizing I love from Emily. 

2) Land of Canaan-- an Amy song that defines her early songwriting style and hints at her love of rock and punk with the driving guitar. 

3) Kid Fears-- hauntingly layered, with a special appearance by Michael Stipe. Though tbh I prefer the version from Staring Down the Brilliant Dream (their most recent live album) with Trina Meade of Three5Human. When she comes in with “are you on fire?” it’s-- electric. I think the first time I heard it I gasped and clutched my chest. 

4) You and Me of the 10,000 Wars-- perhaps a bit of a deep cut, but one of my favorite early Emily songs. This was a great time for Emily, songwriting wise imo. 

5) Three Hits-- I think Amy was kind of starting to experiment with her sound here and also trying to push beyond the typical personal style of writing that often marks folk rock/singer-songwriter music. Also I’m soft for this entire album (rites of passage); I remember buying it at the mall on cassette with money I got at Christmas. 

6) Watershed-- this song has BIG Saturn return vibes, and has the absolutely excellent line, “every five years or so I look back on my life and have a good laugh.” 

7) Galileo-- another Emily song (I’m not kidding when I say she killed it lyrically from around ‘90-’96 or so) that touches on big philosophical questions with a kind of refreshing lightheartedness. This one is another song many people will have heard before. 

8) Romeo and Juliet (cover)-- this song gets better with each live performance, so it would be fair to include a live version. But I like the album version just as well, and you can’t deny the punch of a dyke singing about the girl who loved her and left her. 

9) Power of Two-- another classic. Soft af. Goddamn it Emily Saliers you beautiful lesbian bard, you really just wrote A Very Gay Experience into a song just like that. 

10) Mystery-- Emily is getting her due right now bc Amy is gonna rise up a few albums later and kick ass. This song, though? So, so gay. I have thought about the lyrics once a day for the past 25 years or so, probably. “Maybe that’s all that we need is to meet in the middle of impossibility?” YES GIRL, my inner dyke and my outer dyke are all screaming. 

11) Reunion-- musically I think this song just does some nice stuff, ok? Also fuckin’ relatable if you’ve ever gone to a reunion and been like-- ehhhh this could end badly but here we go. 

12) Language or the Kiss-- had to add another Emily song because this one is just. so good, ok?? this album is prime Emily!!!!

13) Shame on You-- this one got a lot of radio play in my hometown, and I remember rolling down the window and driving with it blasting. Amy was really starting to push into more overtly political lyrics and you can see it on this song. 

14) Get Out the Map-- perfect roadtrip song! Classic Emily vibes!!

15) Go-- Amy gets rockier, with some nice crunchy guitars (please forgive me for not knowing the right words but like. the guitars sound dirty and a little distorted, it’s like chewing chips in your ears in a good way). This is one of the first albums where her skill for heart-twisting lyrics rises up: “did they tell you you would come undone if you tried to touch the sun? Use your years to psych you out? ‘You’re too old to care, you’re too young to count’? Go, go, go.” 

16) Ozilline-- also Amy explores a slightly more bluegrassy sound? I appreciate that songwriting-wise she’s basically pushing herself in two directions on this album: political but not first person and hyper-personal direct narrative. This one is the latter and you feel it. 

17) Fill It Up Again-- another solid Emily bop! (I should mention I’m not putting on anything from Become You bc while I adore it I think it’s one of their weaker albums over all-- it was one of their last for epic and they were READY to get off a big label, so maybe they rushed it?

18) Heartache for Everyone-- one of my fave Amy songs of all time, would love to hear this covered by so many people. I just love it. Everything. 

19) Cordova-- I am absolutely just including this because it breaks my heart? Idek why. I think I just have such a strong mental picture that goes along with it that’s informed by nothing other than a story I think works with it and. Yeah. It’s not typical of an Amy song musically but I love that. 

20) Lay My Head Down-- a little sloppy lyrically, but the heart of it is beautiful. 

21) Pendulum Swinger-- typical Emily political song, very crunchy and green and honestly middle of the road gay democrat, but in a way that’s actually not the most shitty? 

22) Three County Highway-- a spare and lovely Amy song with slight country vibes. 

23) True Romantic-- this song. THIS FUCKING SONG. it’s gorgeous, it’s raw, and there’s something about it coming out in Amy’s raspy voice that makes it a gut punch! I yell about it every few months. I want very much for Louis Tomlinson to cover it and of course he never will. The injustice. 

24) I’ll Change-- I think this song stands right up with Emily’s earlier stuff. Honestly Poseidon and the Bitter Bug is a truly solid album and it’s hard to pick only a couple of songs from it. 

25) Share the Moon-- a tender and lovely Amy song, the only one I really like off this album (Beauty Queen Sister). I tried listening to the rest of the album so much and ended up putting this song on repeat instead. 

26) Southern California is Your Girlfriend-- ever since I saw a video of Amy and Emily playing this song while Amy’s kid sat listening I was in love. It’s different for Amy but in such a good way. 

27) Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright (cover)-- this is a great live cover that has Michelle Malone on guest vocals. She was such a staple on their tours for such a long time (and maybe still is, but not on the west coast). 

28) Shit Kickin-- this one is off their upcoming album, and it’s such a good playlist ender? It’s got a kind of funky vibe with lyrics that talk about the pitfalls and problems and pride of southern culture in a way that really resonates with me as a southerner. 

somehow I managed to keep that pretty even--subtracting the two covers i think that Emily and Amy each have 13 songs on here. I might make a somewhat different list on a different day, but this is about right. I would also suggest someone listen to Poseidon and the Bitter Bug, Rites of Passage, Swamp Ophelia, and Staring Down the Brilliant Dream if they wanted a deeper dive into what I think are some of the best albums/songs over all. (Maybe All That We Let In, too). 

[raphaelsplinter]

|| Get to know RAPHAEL SPLINTER who’s TWENTY-TWO years old and a SENIOR in college majoring in LAW. He is from NEW YORK and is often times mistaken for ARON PIPER while others say he reminds them of RAPH from TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. ||

heyo all, my name is pepper, and after spending way too long getting distracted and watching jenna marble videos sdjksdjk Here I Am to introduce my grumpy problem child, raph ! a bit about me i guess, i’m a pinterest addict and a big fergie fan, i can only wink with both eyes (still counts tho right?) and i love b99, the good place, and umbrella academy. alright down bellow will be a bit about My Boi and some wcs i have for him ! please * youtuber vc * sMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON if you’d like to plot and i will come running okay? okay 

tl;dr for those who don’t want to go through this whole thing, he’s the raph you loved and knew from tmnt except he’s bifurious, been to juvie, and had a period of his life where he was a vigilante. 

to start before i forget here is his pinterest board ! blood tw though !

Raph has always used his fists to solve his problems. Violence was as natural to him as breathing, something he’d been turning to since before he can remember, and truly never really learnt how to stop. From punching kids who bugged him on the playground to picking fights with jerks who looked at him funny, Raphael was, and likely always will be, a bit aggressive. Quick to anger and even quicker to throw a punch because of it.

It was his adopted father who decided to help him channel this anger into something constructive. At first Raph thought it was stupid. After all, he already knew how to punch somebody, he didn’t need to know how to do it with gloves on. But at his father’s patient insistence, Raphael tried it, and unexpectedly (at least to Raphael) it helped. Yes, Raph was still eternally in a bad mood, but now when it all got too much and his anger felt like a noose around his neck, he had something to turn to rather than the first person who ticked him off.

But it wasn’t long until Raph didn’t just have boxing to turn to. Not just karate and taekwondo either, no, somehow Raph accidentally stumbled into an even more unexpected outlet. You see, Raph’s sense of justice was almost as strong as his anger, and that was maybe the one thing he and his family all shared, the one thing they all had in common, even his father. None of them could just sit back and allow someone else to get hurt, and it was that sense of justice that led Raph into some light pseudo vigilantism. It wasn’t anything big or, hell, organised. Honestly, the way it started was with Raph hearing something suspicious in an alley, going in guns-- or rather fists-- blazing and taking care of it himself rather than calling the police. But the thing was, it became a pattern. It became a choice. It got to the point where Raph would go out at night and roam the streets, waiting to see if anything was going down, waiting to step in. And it was New York, after all, it was the cesspool of the earth, something was always going down. Almost every night through most of his teenage years Raph would come home with bloodied knuckles and bruises, hurting like hell and having to hide it all from his family but… he felt good. He felt lighter. Doing what he was doing then, it felt better than just punching someone to punch somebody. It felt like he was actually helping people, like he was using his anger that only ever seemed to hurt people to actually do something good for once. For a while Raph thought that he was truly doing what he was supposed to be doing. That he had found his calling (although he would die before saying that out loud. Too damn cheesy).

Until of course, predictably, everything went downhill. Using his anger as a tool seemed like a great idea, and it would have been, if he knew how to control it. How to wield it like his dual daggers or his fists. But he didn’t. And because of that he slipped up, let his anger get the better of him, let it overflow one night and went too far. It didn’t matter than Raphael was stepping in between the guy and the girl he was harassing. It didn’t even matter that the girl defended him. The police didn’t care. He nearly put the guy in a coma, and he was pressing charges, and those charges landed Raph in the slammer for a whole year.

Luckily Raph was spared being charged an adult by the fact that he was seventeen at the time. While he did get a record, and lost a year of his life to the incident, it all really could have been much worse. He was able to see his family every once and a while when he had visitation. And he was able to continue school from in there. Juvie, as horrible as it was, was almost like the wake up call he needed. It was the push he needed to realize that he couldn’t let his anger control him. He needs to learn to control it.

So he’s learning. Slowly and grudgingly through mandated anger management. In all honesty, he hates it, and he slips up all the time, but he keeps going to his appointments. He keeps coming back, and he figures that must count for something.

Getting into university with a record wasn’t exactly easy, even with Raphael’s grades. Yeah, Raph was no Leo or Don but there’s not much else to do in juvie but workout and study, so that’s what Raph did. Found out he was actually pretty decent in school when he actually put the effort in and had no other options. Not that most universities or colleges even cared. Raphael had stubbornly convinced himself that he didn’t even want to go (after all, he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do with his life, whether that be opening his own boxing ring or becoming a personal trainer, so he might not even need university in the first place) ( and because being angry was so much easier than being disappointed) until he got the offer from Corona. And yeah he thought it was stupid, and kind of shady, but... he didn’t really have any other options, and his brothers were going too. So he figured why not.

Raph decided to study law because again, why tf not. He minored in italian language and literature because-- well you get the drill. Honestly, if you were to ask Raphael about his major he would simply shrug, grumble, or give you the finger, but after being on the wrong side of the law for so long he wants to know it. In all honesty, Raph doesn’t trust cops or a lot of law enforcement, he thinks a lot of them are incompetent and stupid, and if he has his way, he’s going to be apart of changing that and maybe show these morons how it should be done.

HEADCANNONS

I have a headcannon that Raph took up italian when bored out of his mind in juvie, actually didn’t find it that hard, and he’s just been continuing to learn it and find it pretty damn easy here in Corona. I will say though, Raph isn’t the best student. He isn’t the best with authority figures who aren’t his father (the single and only authority figure he respects) so he tends to be rude in lecture, and ditch a lot, but he aces all his assignments so the professors can’t complain.

Raph is a smoker (both weed and cigarettes) and he doesn’t really care what anyone has to say about it. He figures they’re his lungs to ruin.

Raph has a sleeve at tattoos down his right arm, and an earring in his left ear.

Tends to work out/spar while he’s stressed.

Is a kind of impulsive and aggressive drunk, but also very loose and warm too if that makes sense, he can go from happy to angry at the drop of a hat.

He’s very protective of his youngest brother Mike, and that protectiveness can sometimes extend to other people younger than him. He doesn’t care for the most part, but Raph will always stick up or look out for the little guy, even if he does so grumpily.

The biggest potty mouth in the world omg, like it was hard for me not to curse while writing this while in his head space. He needs a swear jar.

Has some abandonment issues and identity issues due to the whole adoption thing but yk it’s chill he’s trying to chill dkjdfjk

THICK new york accent love this for him

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;  literally almost forgot to put these oof sorry y’all i’m a fool

friends ; raph is hella antisocial so i’d say there’s maybe two spots for these but i would love for him to have some people he actually like Semi likes to be around yk that would be cool (4/4) vanellope, merida, shego, dipper !

annoyance ; someone who bugs him. this is pretty self explanatory but this could be like a big brother/younger sibling kind of situation or it could just be someone who gets on his Last Nerve mabel !

someone he looks out for ; someone raph is protective of! this could be because he thinks of them as a younger sibling, or because he just feels the need to watch out for them and he doesn’t know why. we can plot this out ! rosetta & daphne ! (2/?)

an ex ; raph despite his moody ass, does tend to date even if it’s kind of rare. this could be someone who dated raph for whatever amount of time and maybe it well or maybe it went horribly. 

a past hookup ; self explanatory i think but raph has more hookups than actual relationships so if anyone is interested this is open to f / m / or nb! (1/?) angelica !

a fwb ; again self explanatory and open to all genders ! shego !

a soft spot ; someone who raph has a soft spot for for reasons that can be plotted. this grump is just a little less grumpy around them for reasons idek yet i just figure this could be fun. (2/2) rapunzel & boo !

a sparring partner ; someone who raph turns to when he physically wants to fight. friends with benefits except the benefit is fighting lmao flynn & vanellope !

enemies ; someone who raph hates, and it’s mutual, or maybe it’s one sided ! slightly !

stoner buddy ; coraline !

i think that’s it for now but i’m always willing to brainstorm tbh hit your girl up !

[willexxmercer]

The 100 Ask Game

Alright here we go!  I was tagged by @boomheda and I think I’m gonna tag @brillermcintyre and anyone else who wants to do this!

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

idk Hydra Station I guess? I like water.  idek

2. What would you get arrested for on the arc?

Hmmm it would probably be something dumb like illegal downloads or like, stealing meds or food or something for someone I love

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

Probably not, although once it came to “take off the wristband or no food” thing, I mean... I’m hungry.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: a deer Raven: a raven duh)

An otter!

5. If you could resurrect any minor character who would it be?

Does Monroe count as a minor character?  If not, then Fox

6. Create a squad of characters to go on a mission with, who are they?

Echo, Bellamy, Raven, Harper, and... um... Murphy for the sass

7. What grounder clan would you belong to?

100% Floukru

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? ( Octavia = Okteivia)

Katrina = Kutreena?

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him and others love him so im curious.

I genuinely liked him in early s1, but once the whole cheating thing started I just...couldn’t take him anymore.  Then I felt sorry for him in s2 but not enough to care about his fate tbh.  I was more sad for Raven than for him.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing the horrible things that it does?

Yeah no.  I am a naturally cautious person and someone telling me “this will take away all your pain” would make me go “yeah right”

11. What character do you relate to the most?

Bellamy for the protective older sibling vibes, Monty for the “let’s all just get along” vibes

12. What character do you like the least?

Right now, of the living characters, probably Kane and Abby.  I just... don’t get how they can look at their situation in the Bunker and continue to put all the blame on Octavia

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? be creative, but practical.)

Hmmm I have the worst fashion sense but let’s see.  Probably jeans and hiker boots, and a graphic tee with some kind of jacket over it.  Maybe some fleece involved in the jacket.  Trademark item would be a headband like Harper’s and braids... like Harper’s.

14. Favourite mutant type?

Two headed-deer

15. What would your job on the ark be?

Definitely a teacher

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

NOPE I would be in the corner vomiting

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best heda?

I would say definitely Luna

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like jasper and monty?

Giggling in the corner alone

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy or Bellamy blake approach?

I would have organized a trial, probably

20. Who should have been chancellor if anyone?

MONTY had the best heart and would have been the best chancellor.

21.  Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? or Clarke in Polis.

I probably would have been a silent supporter of Kane.  Like, not actively working with the rebellion but definitely supportive of him.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities (eg- Maya’s ipod) What is one thing you would have taken?

The iPod or a book

23. What would your grounder tattoos look like? hairstyle? war paint?

Being from Floukru, I’d probably have wavy tattoos to represent water.  Hair would be mostly down, but with braids (a la Harper), and war paint would be blue and green, again in a wavy pattern

24. Favourite quote?

“Let’s show them how to live”

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger games who would have the best shot at winning?

Probably Lexa or Roan.  Or maybe Octavia could pull off the whole “hiding until everyone tires themselves out” trick

26. Least Favourite ship? Favourite canon ship? Favourite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least Fave: Finn/Clarke

Fave canon: Marper

Fave non-canon: Sea Mechanic

27. A song that should be included in next season? if there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

Song: Demons - Imagine Dragons

Guest Star: Imma copy Luce and say Marie’s dog

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

A whole lot of talking to try and keep us occupied

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Black rain lol

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Echo!  And definitely Josephine

31. A character you’d bang?

Bellamy, Echo, Niylah, Raven.....

32. Would you stay in the bunker? Go up to space? or live in your own Eden?

Eden

33. In the bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time?

I’d support Octavia until Bloodreina begins, and then I’d try to silently fly under the radar.  Probably try to help teach the young ones and read a lot, maybe keep a journal, but I’d definitely try to stay out of the way

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

If I was a teacher, I could see myself accidently sharing a detail that I’m “not supposed to teach about” and that being the thing

35. Up in space who do you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Bond with Harper definitely, Murphy would be a bit difficult because I don’t do well with abrasive people

36.How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

A couple of days, max

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Hide

38. Favourite Eligius character? least favourite?

Fave: Diyoza

Least fave: McCreary

39. Would you spacewalk?

Nope, I’d be terrified

40. Would you prefer to eat windshield bugs, space algae or Bunker meat?

Probably space algae?

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on Earth? what would you do to avoid it?

I would not start a war.  I’d try to arrange a parlay with all of the leaders to talk about it and maybe divide it

42. Would you rather dig out flesh eating worms or stick thumb drives into a bullet hole?

Thumb drives.  Although I’d probably pass out for both

43. Are you willing to Poison your sister for the traitor who you love? what would you do to stop Octavia?

I would never poison my sister.  There’s a theme going here, but I’d talk to her and try to explain things

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

I’d probably go into Cryo

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Raven, Bellamy, Niylah, Miller, Shaw, Indra

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

[skincrime]

had a momentary urge earlier for me to take a bunch of closeup photos of my worst picking spots on my body... just cause? 

idk part of me thinks that it could potentially be... reassuring for other ppl w skin picking problems similar to mine? to let them know that they’re not alone? or that... other ppl like me have it much worse than they might have it? bc... well. i mean, i don’t go searching for other ppl’s graphic photos of their picking scars to compare to mine so i don’t actually know what a typically “bad case” looks like? like where does my situation fall on that spectrum? is mine “average” compared to others? or is mine like super super super bad and fucked up and like should be treated as an emergency??? i don’t know!! 

but... ghghghhh idk i guess i just thought that the idea of me sharing my situation could benefit Someone? or provide Some kind of positive effect to... someone? myself? idek. it could just be a pointless effort and all i’d accomplish is oversharing Extreme tmi to whoever is unlucky enough to stumble upon the images and make them extremely uncomfortable or disgusted. oh and of course, humiliate myself in the process, as i frequently tend to do so!

.....anyway... one way another, i’ll prob take photos of myself at some point but i might just keep em private and share em w doctors and shit idk. also... it could just be a terrible idea to begin with since some of the absolute Worst areas on my body that i’ve fucked up the most are intimate spots... like it wouldn’t be Impossible to take photos of my chest w/o showing nip.... but tbh i kinda feel like if i were gonna show how bad my chest situation is like i Should show the whole dang thing. cause it’s... the whole fucking zone. and Especially the fleshy booby parts and the areolae. 

and honestly, i kinda wish that i could show someone (like literally Anyone) these private and intimate parts of my body. whether it just be one of those super comfortable platonic moments between friends (....which i’ve never experienced lmao but i see it happen in tv shows and shit) or being thoroughly and carefully examined by a good doctor or, fuck, a sensual moment w another person who’s attracted to me in any way. like i overshare a fuck ton about myself online when i talk about myself and whatnot and i Know i do that bc i’m desperately lonely and crave emotional intimacy w ppl bc i’m literally dying of intimacy-starvation..... and fuck. i wanna overshare Even More than what i already overshare through words. i wanna overshare my whole physical being. i want ppl to see my body. i’m... oddly confident about my body nowadays (despite my extreme lack of confidence in literally every other aspect of myself). like i don’t feel as disgusted by my body as i used to when i was growing up. like i don’t care about my fatness or my body shape or my curves or scars or acne or stretch marks or whatever (i’m stiiiill a little shy about the body hair but i’m working on it!)

UGH. WHATEVER. TL;DR I WANT PPL TO SEE MY BODY BC I’M A SLUT FOR POSITIVE ATTENTION AND MAYBE PRAISE if i’m lucky

[go-our-own-ways]

I wonder if I'll ever be able to let go of the resentment I let build up in me towards sid/em...

I feel so upset and sad and angry and abandoned by the supposed friends I had made through enjoying this franchise, and also so used and baited and uncared for by the company behind it (scamco)...

At this point, the only reason I have left to love the franchise is the seiyuu, tbh...

Also it pains me that all these fans work so hard at content for the fandom and here I am, useless piece of turd who can't even play the game bc she's too dumb and too easily bored of tapping at a screen... Idk I guess I hate that I can't contribute in any way, on top of the sadness and resentment from the fact that I have pretty much no recognition or visibility anymore... Which shouldn't matter, I know, but it just makes me so sad all the same... But also like why do I even feel like I have to contribute right, when did this happen, why did it happen...

and then there's also the bit where I don't understand how everyone else can play it endlessly every day... I really don't. Like to each their own I totally get it but unfortunately for me I don't like it and with each year I like mobages less and less in general but...I still find myself drawn to this franchise so like...idek where I belong or fit anymore if I don't play the game and keep up with the news line what even is the point anymore, you know?

I guess...I guess I just don't feel enough anymore. Yeah... I think that's it. Even though there's no rules to how to be a fan, it's clear there are certain people who are heralded as the fandom leaders, the experts, he best fans... I used to be probably the most visible RuiP probably, but then I fell from everyone's graces as I began to fall away from the game and updates because of well...interest, energy, and life at large... Which is fine, but also just makes me so incredibly sad...

Yet again, I'm shown that fandom spaces and internet friends can't replace real friends. I'm only ever as permanent as the next latest fad. I wanted a place to belong, and yet all I got were reasons why I don't belong.

Also, the growing resentment I ended up having towards the irrational amount of spending everyone participates in to maintain "best producer" status drives me nuts. I know it's a personal choice, but I just...is there not a single sane person out there who enjoys japanese content without destroying their savings???

Idk. Honestly, I think I can trace the beginning of the end to meeting Them and realizing I've been kicked out, replaced, and become unnecessary. No more need for anyone else to talk about the idol I used to love so dearly when someone else has taken on this idol's existence as their sole character trait. I still cherish him, but honestly...mostly just as a fond memory now...

It sounds foolish but it's true... This person basically ruined my experience as a P and as a fan... A lot of it has to do with my own fucked up thinking, but I can't deny that this person's existence triggered me.

To be truthful, I still love this franchise, these characters, and their voice cast very deeply. They mean so much to me... But every time I seek some validation and community, I'm constantly shown to be a reject. No one cares about me. I'm not funny enough for memes, not perfect enough for merch displays and ranking, not edgy enough to start new trends or point out new details and things to appreciate, not smart enough to do deep analysis of stories and characters, not educated enough to do translations, not rich enough to buy things to share with the group... I'm just not enough.

I'm just never enough.

I was never enough, I guess.

Never will be enough...

I know logically that ultimately all these things I think and feel regarding sid/em really don't actually matter, that at the end of the day everyone is valid, and yet...here I am...

One day, I hope I don't feel so much sadness and melancholy at this franchise, I really do. I'm so tired of feeling so much happiness and yet simultaneously so much sadness from sid/em...

[jincherie]

🌱- just wanted to share this so maybe people can give an opinion on the situation at hand. I feel like I’m over reacting but I also feel like you can never be too safe. Earlier tonight around 7pm at my job a woman approached me and was overly friendly- she acted like she knew me but I also act overly friendly since customer service is my job. However as I was helping her with items she started talking about her ‘mentor’ and how he and his wife changes her and her husbands life. -continued-

Anonymous said:🌱- she said his wife retired at 28 and he could retire any day now, she said she now makes money without leaving her home so she can care for her children. She talked about this mentor a lot. She then switched the conversation to me, she asked how long I’ve worked there, was I in school and if so which school, was I from the area and if so where, does my family live in town, she asked what highschool I went to and then told which highschool it was. She said she was from Texas - continued-

Anonymous said:🌱- after a few moments when she had first started talking I got this horrible feeling from her, her eyes seemed flighty and her body language was unstable? I felt unsafe and in danger- I rarely feel compelled that far to actually want to call the police over a simple conversation. I tried avoiding her around the store but she seemed to find me every time, she said “I know you love seeing my children since they look just like you” and proceeded to show me two kids on her phone. - continued -

Anonymous said:🌱- I still tried to maintain professionalism since it was my place of work and I smiled and continued small talk but continuously tried busying myself with other tasks. She was always hovering near where I’d move to, she eventually came up to me and told me I was gorgeous and she could tell I was very clever, she said she wanted to extend an invitation to come meet her mentor. She said I should at least meet and listen to what he had to say, she said it was fine if I didn’t go - continued -

Anonymous said:🌱- but I made it clear I wasn’t interested and then upon leaving my store about 9:40 pm- with my co workers there was a car in the parking lot which is unusual. Our part of the parking lot is always empty, could’ve been nothing. My co workers drove away and I started driving in the opposite direction of them and the car sat for a moment but then started in my direction. I drove down roads and circled around and they still followed so I had to speed up and make random turns to find a back road

ok wow first of all im shaken and not in the good way!! this is really spooky and uncomfortable man, and if your gut is going off and telling you something isn’t right then it’s probably true!! i don’t think you’re overreacting too much, it is always better to be safe than sorry, especially if you yourself are picking up signs. but wow, it seems like you really do attract all sorts of weird situations man. I hope you’re currently safe!!! 

tbh idek what to think of this but it doesn’t leave a good feeling, maybe be careful when leaving work for the next while cause it all just seems so off oml. I’m assuming from the way you ended the ask, but did you manage to shake them before you got home?? i really hope you stay safe and nothing more happens to you omg

you wanted to see what other people’s opinions were, and I’m curious too if anyone has any advice or comments or anything? I’m sorry man cause idk what to do in situations like this, neither myself or anyone I’ve ever known has ever had something like this happen so I don’t really have any advice!! keep me updated tho cause I wanna know ur safe 💝💗❤️

[calzonekestis]

@agent13: Jackie hasn’t been active in quite a while, but she’s always been kind to me and her blog has has A+ opinions and content. 

@ar-se-ne: IDEK how long I’ve been following Cristian, but he’s a really nice guy with whom I have similar interests. He’s also someone that I’ve kind of of been inspired by in some ways. I don’t want to get too personal information, but it involves introspection and self improvement and yeah. I’m proud of him. He should be proud of himself.

@chujo-hime: I remember like circa 2012-2013 I had a ~moment~ because the webmaster of FYBN followed me. Chujo always has quality content, and is someone I respect for being very genuine and respectful. If something’s drawn her ire or made her bitter, she has a reason for it, and can write a solid meta on why it’s bullshit. At the same time, she’s someone who I’ve looked to when I consider how to handle my own fandom disagreements. It’s not worth arguing with people on the internet, it’s never fun. So long as people enjoy what they enjoy? Stay in their lane and let others do the same? We can all get along~~~

@cimikat: Katie is another person who I don’t even remember following. I can’t really remember my tumblr experience before her, though? I can say without any hyperbole though that she’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever encountered on this website? Literally, I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen her be salty. Upset and disappointed, sure, but she doesn’t wallow in negativity the way some people do and have in the past. If she enjoys something, she’s enthusiastic about it. If she no longer enjoys it? You won’t see her b*tch about it. She’s just very upbeat.

@dazzledfirestar: Daz shares my love of certain villains (Sin and Crossbones) while fully recognizing they’re deplorable human beings. That’s just one of the more superficial reasons I respect her. She’s another person who’s also genuine, and whom by following I feel like I’ve actually learned a lot? And I actually like to learn. Ignorance isn’t always mean spirited, and in the past I’ll admit I’ve been an ignorant white boy. Not that I was prejudice, there was just a lot I was either blind to or unaware of.  I’ve learned a lot about Romani culture by following Daz. A lot of history, a lot about the struggles and persecution they still face to this day. I also learned lot about the LGBT community; which honestly was a big help when I was trying to figure out/accept my bisexuality.

@diaryofawriter: What do I even say about you? believe we met because we both RP’d in the same fandoms and enjoyed the same content. Comics, OUAT, Harry Potter, and Star Wars. She’s both listened to me flail or rant countless times, either feigning or expressing genuine interest… for that I’m truly appreciative. She’s also helped me when it comes to letting go of things that are no longer fun or enjoyable for me (OUAT) and focus on the things that do bring me joy. A role model in that sense. >.>

@diisnerd: Leah. Leah was someone I met though a mutual friend, and while they’re closer than I am with her… I let me just say I have so much fucking respect for Leah. She’s just a good, loyal, protective, and caring friend. We have a lot of the same interests, too. We don’t talk all that often about them, but when we do it’s always an enjoyable conversation.

@dreamimpcssiblethings: Kath. Jesus. You know how much you mean to me, I should hope. You’re one of my best friends. It’s not even that we like a lot of the same things (we do) but you’re just very hard not to like? You’re super intelligent, super passionate. Be it about fandom things, classic literature, or just life. If one good thing came out of the rise and fall of my OUAT fandom, it was meeting you. All the salt is worth it for knowing you~

@ilikethequiet: Ally was one of the first people I met in the OUAT fandom, via a mutual friend/aquiantence. She’s a wizard when it comes to making edits and graphics. She’s someone with whom I’ve been salty on many an occasion, and I lured her into the iZombie fandom with me when our favorite actors transitioned over to that show. She’s just a delight. She also somehow made an AU graphic for a trashy ~problematic~ hateship look classy? Real friends hunt down topless screencaps so they can make you smutty collages for your birthday.

@jjoelswatch: Sarah is one of the first people I can remember following on tumblr. She’s another person where I wouldn’t recognize my dash without her. I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really respect her. She’s just a good person, very down to Earth and very witty. We don’t talk that much, but it’s always very pleasant when we do? Sarah was the first one to reach out and respond when I came out as bi. I’m still not out to my family. When I posted that little confession, I didn’t know what to expect. I simultaneously cared and didn’t care how people responded. It was weird, because it was something I had tried to deny and rationalize for so long. It’s something that no one should even care about, but Sarah empathized and realized it was kind of a big deal for me? Her reassurance that I wasn’t alone, even in such a short and concise message meant a lot. She’s one of my favorite mutals tbh.

@kennyhoemega: Bethany is a Goth Goddess. I’m not just saying that because she demanded the best compliment. On a superficial level, she’s just really pretty?? Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you legitimate reasons why she’s one of my favorite people to follow. She’s got great taste in music, she loves Star Wars, dabbles in Marvel and Harry Potter. You see a theme here with people I follow. She just also tends to reblog really neat things unrelated to those? I’ve gotten into astrology because of her. It’s mostly her fault that I’ve started watching wrestling again, bc there’s nothing good on TV and her passion is contagious and the gifs she reblogs are wild. She also has the best tags out of anyone I follow, bar none. I don’t even know when I first followed her either, around 2012 or so, but I know that it was absolutely 100% Sarah’s fault. Thank you, Sarah. TBH the first time I remember interacting with Bethany was when I added a gif and sarcastic comment to one of her salty posts about people trying to woobify Brock Rumlow. The next day, I realized this was likely not the best way to make a first impression? Fortunately she assured me that she got it, and that we were cool. Which is a relief, because as I’ve told her (and IDK if she believes me) she’s probably one of the coolest people I follow? It’s come to light that neither of us are big talkers, so we don’t actually talk that much… but she’s really rad. IDK when it started but she’s consistently been in my tumblr crushes for ages. Lots of mutual reblogging, again, lots of respect. She’s witty and intelligent. That’s not butt-kissin’, I’ve seen her post about certain tests and looked them up out of curiosity and wow. Yeah. Bethany also has the longest compliment, so that should make her happy. There was something about my needing a nuclear bunker if she wasn’t on this list. She deserves it though, she’s another one of my faves.

@kittenspawn: Nichole is my unofficial big sister. I say that as someone who actually has a big sister. She messaged me in 2012 with questions about Bucky and Natasha, and from that point on she was screwed. She got me into Hellboy in turn, but I like to think I’ve thoroughly corrupted her and caused her to spend far too much money on certain things. Nichole is someone who I can go weeks without talking to, and yet we can fall right back into conversation as if we talked the night before. She’s been a terrible enabler over the years, but she’s also been there for me during some difficult times and when I’ve done very stupid and questionable things. I know she’ll say I’ve been there for her as well, but the scales are seriously tipped here. When I need advice, or when I need to talk to someone about something serious… she’s the person I go to. I can always count on her, and she’s pretty much family at this point.

@ohmygil: Gil. I think I found you through Davis? You’re just a very sensible person, and very rational about a lot of things. It’s refreshing to see that on the internet these days. You’re someone who I don’t think I’ve ever had a actual ‘discussion’ with, but I’m including you here because I really enjoy your presence on my dash. I stopped reading DC regularly with the New 52, and pretty much all my DC intake these days is absorbed through your blog. You also get points for liking Superman. Some people think he’s too powerful, or a big boy scout, and while I’ve never regularly collected his titles I am a fan.

@prof-anity: …You know, I was tempted to leave you off this list just to be a dick. Yours would be the longest entry, so I’m keeping it short because what is there to even say? How much needs to be said? Seven years ago you met a bitter teenage douchebag on a message board. You made the mistake of accepting his friendship when he reached out to you. You’ve stuck with me through highs and lows, man. It’s one of those relationships again, where we may not talk every day. We may not be up to date on the details and goings on in each other’s lives… but you said it yourself. Our friendship has been one of the best constants in the past seven years. A third of your life, btw. Isn’t that depressing? You are, truly, the best friend I have ever had. One day I’m going to meet you, hug you, and then insult you to your face. You’re truly a brother to me. I love you.

@readytocomply: Stef! Stef is a delight. Always pleasant, always fun. She’s also super creative? She makes great edits, great cosplays, and is just pretty damn great over all. Stef is another person who I try to model myself after when it comes to shipping things. Re: Multi-Shipping. Stef ships Steve and Bucky. I do not. Stef also ships Bucky and Natasha. Stef respects canon and appreciates Sharon Carter. All this may sound inane but I’m glad I didn’t meet Stef until I did, because 2013 Tim might have been a little asshole re his ships and missed out befriending a great person because of his own stubborness… that could cross into douchebaggery. Stef has quality content on her blog at all times. Sebastian Stan. Marvel. Star Wars. Mark Hamill.. Harry Potter. Tron. Just general film. Chicken nuggets. Stef is a quality person with a quality blog.

@rocktheholygrail: Dana is someone I met through the iZombie fandom, and she is another wizard. A gif wizard, who has too often indulged my requests or suggestions. She’s another person whose enthusiasm is contagious. I was able to convince her to watch the entirety of Prison Break (save the revival) in less than a month before it was taken off Netflix. I don’t think I ever apologized for that. Dana also is trash tho, bc like me, her favorite iZombie character is the trashiest. I say that tongue in cheek, at least the first part. It’s really been great though to have someone who recognize a character as both human and horrible, and who is capable of watching and enjoying them despite their being problematic. If this was another fandom, I’d expect to be judged or ostracized, but instead I’m enabled once again.

@swanmagic: Gia is another person who doesn’t post on tumblr much (at least her personal) these days, but I’m including her because she’s been one of my favorite RP partners for years and we still talk from time to time on twitter. She’s just a great writer, great person, great friend. She’s another person who has excellent (and varied) musical taste.

@thealbooty: I met Alberto through Davis. It’s another thing where I don’t remember the circumstances, there was just one day where suddenly Alberto was in my life. Alberto is just a good guy… and I just mean good. He’s pure. If Davis is Spongebob, I’m Squidward and Alberto is Patrick. Only not as dumb. We don’t talk as much these days which makes me sad, but I love him too. Back in the day the three of us used to have group Skype chats and watch movies together. There was one day when Davis couldn’t make it or wasn’t online, and he and I just watched Hellboy and chatted for a few hours. That’s when Alberto went from being a friend of a friend to my friend. I’m glad he’s my friend.

@thejazzdalek: Max is another person, like Gil, who I’ve never really had a discussion with? He’s followed me for ages though, both on tumblr and on twitter and I appreciate that. I don’t really know him that well after all this time, embarrassingly. He seems like a nice guy, though. Big into Doctor Who, OUAT, DC, Marvel, just sci-fi and fantasy in general.

@timelessmulder: Emily-Alice is someone who I’ve been mutuals with since like 2012 I think. I don’t even know if we’re in the same fandoms anymore, but we keep following each other regardless. Over the years we’ve discussed everything from OUAT to DC, and these days when we talk it’s mostly to pick apart The Flash. She’s someone who has been with me for ages though, and has seen things.

@uhohjonsnow: So Betty is one of the first friends I actually made on tumblr when I engaged in fandom? I was an obnoxious teenage white boy who thought he was straight and acted like it, and she tolerated me anyway. Again, she’s someone who was witness to a lot of nonsense. We really were dicks to each other, lmao. I adore her though, bc she really is sweet and laid back. We went for years without talking,not due to any falling out, but we just drifted apart. She actually took a year off tumblr and recently returned, and we reconnected. She also accidentally deleted her blog and started fresh, so um, go follow her!

@uminoko: We’ve been mutuals for like years, and she’s just a nice person? Again, that’s a pathetic compliment, but it is true. She’s also another individual who I feel I’ve learned from by following? Part of that has to due with her being a former civil rights lawyer, but beyond that she’s just yet another smarty pants who I don’t talk to that much. She also  messaged me privately when I came out, and made me laugh when I needed it. Also, she’s an actual Russian who is a fan of Black Widow and Winter Soldier.

@uncleclustersthirdbrain: Donnie. This might be a little weird, because Donnie and I only reconnected like two weeks ago after three years of not really talking to each other? Again, there’s no bad blood, and he deserves to be on here. I’ve actually known him for five years, we met through his girlfriend Morgan. Donnie’s another person who has seen things, re seen me at my worst. Most obnoxious, outspoken, salty, dickish… and so on. I’ve always sort of looked up to him, though? Back when 17 going on 18 year old Tim met him, there was a sort of ‘notice me sempai’ thing going on. He’s yet another person who is too cool for me. In spite of toolish tendencies, there were times when Donnie reached out to make sure I was okay when I was being dramatic and having anxiety attacks over damn comic books. It sounds ridiculous, and it was, but at the time comics were my escape and how I dealt with a lot of tough shit I was going through. I was invested. Heavily invested, to an unhealthy degree. He’s just a good person who cares about his friends, and people in general. He’s also a fucking brilliant writer, who just recently put out his first comic. So I’m going to use this as another excuse to pimp it for him. Not because he’s my friend, but because I’m a selfish bastard who wants to read more and wants you to give him money so he can make more. He makes no personal profit from it, all the money goes towards paying his artists and the production. I’ve pretty much walked away from buying monthly comics, but as I’ve told Donnie, this is one I would pull. The first issue of And The Hare had some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a comic in easily the last year. At least.

@xeleyan-tequila: I met Chelsea through the OUAT fandom, and like me she gave up on the show a long time ago. She’s another person I don’t really talk to that much these days, but she’s a lovely person with a lovely blog who posts a little bit of everything. There are personal details to our relationship I won’t get into bc it’s no one’s business, and though we’re still friendly we sort of fell out of touch. I enjoy following her though, and she’s a wonderful human being.

[kakkoweeb]

tagged by @atsumus thank you i see this is about writing and i love you for that

i,, don’t know who to tag WRITER FRIENDS ASSEMBLE okay maybe @karasunovolleygays hello i am interested to see you do this, if you haven’t yet

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i formulated it for tumblr and and decided to use it for ao3 to retain my branding. it’s basically just, cool weeb idk it’s not even true but i’m owning it

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

that would be the multi-chapter i guess. though i do want to maybe someday do actual math like. compare the kudos/comment ratio with the hits and then calculate which ACTUALLY performed the best based on that.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

oh it’s that one art i did of oikawa saying “4 YEARS WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER AND YOU DON’T WANNA SEE ME JUMP OUTTA DA CAKE” except i put a comic sans ‘excuse u’. not sure why i used it either; it makes me look sassy whenever i reply to comments but it got me a mutual (lolol hi vio) and people comment about it when they see it so No Ragrets

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yES. the oikage ao3 community is so kind to me tbh ever since i posted my first fics. of course i love every single commenter i get (with one exception, maybe.) and i appreciate the diversity when i post non-oikage fics too. (those are basically my ao3 categories. oikage and misc JDFKSJD)

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

i reread my own fics from time to time for no reason and the ones that i come back to the most are from the p+c series i did for oikage week. i’m sort of proud of them? but i feel like they didn’t get as much feedback as i would’ve liked so i appreciate them in my own time. #2 and #5 in particular.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i’m a picky person, so i only have 25 bookmarks, 8 work subscriptions, and 3 user subscriptions. the bookmarks and subscriptions may overlap

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i am a private au royalty, and i have so many idek which to start, which i’m actually going to write, etc. i’m a sucker for complex and adventure aus, as well as the heart-wrenching ones

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

uhhh user subscriptions are 25, subscriptions are 86, and bookmarks are 331. doesn’t seem like a lot haha how dare you ask me this,

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

basically everything that i write yet don’t post. mostly because they involve my ocs. don’t get me wrong; i’m good at making ocs now i don’t mary sue or anything and they’re all really cool and story-relevant but people just don’t want/need to see that kind of thing, you know?

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

setting description, dialogue-heavy pieces, condensing a work to involve less words, romance in general u gh how an anti-romance as a genre person ended up here is a mystery to me, and just. writing in general. as far as i see, i still suck

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

rarepairs. i don’t think i’ve ever glorified a popular ship before. if ever i do write for them it’s just because it was requested or something.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

21

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhhh last i counted i had like 30+ non-drabble/short WIPs but that was last year. a lot has happened since then adfjsdkf

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

my head can’t remember what day it is, so i write em down. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

nope (i want to tho)

16. How did you discover AO3?

tumblr, i would think, back when i was still fixated on dmmd.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

HAHAHAHA no

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

nope lmfao but i could. because i am kakkoweeb from now on y’all are The Weeb Shits djdkf im joking of course. does anyone other than youtubers even do that?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

when i was eight years old, i think that would be anne mazer. right now, i’m inspired by my favourite fic authors bECAUSE THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD i’d name drop/tag but i’m embarrassed haha,, basically take a good look at my bookmarks you’ll know who they are

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

everyone has to start somewhere, and i think a pretty good start before the actual writing is reading. reading is where the whole thing begins, and from it you can get ideas and styles and words, and develop your way of thinking. as for actual writing: it’s important not to pressure yourself to be really really good and that you find ways to have fun with it. write for your own reasons. look to improvement, but not to the point that it’s all you care about. it’s normal to get stuck, it’s normal to go slow. but if you really love it, don’t quit. keep writing and you’ll never go wrong. oh, and editing is your friend.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

definitely plot out. it’s going to be impossible for me to remember everything on the fly, and ideas pop out at random times in the day and i can’t discard them, so each story has a plan. the level of detail depends on the complexity and my own creative ability at any given moment. sometimes tho i get ideas midway through speed-typing and just go with them.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

no, not really bad. some kind of off-topic, yes, but not bad. i just don’t reply.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

romantic things in general. the emotions and sensations that come with touch and affection, because i don’t write those based on experience.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

…a lot. just. a lot.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

bruh yeah. i even have projects that have spinoffs/sequels where i want to write the sequels before the actual project 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

ideally, that would be to write and then feel satisfied with what i’ve written, in terms of the degree of accomplishment (did i just finish a subsection or a chapter? get past a part where i was stuck?) and the quality. most days, it’s too high a goal.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

infinitely, yes. it’d be a little embarrassing if i didn’t improve since childhood

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i,, i don’t know, i like and hate them all to some degree lmfao

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

:)))) i don’t want to talk about it. if you read my writing journal though, you might be able to tell what it is.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully finished with a couple of things, still writing, and maybe with some writer friends? I HOPE AND CREI

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

…finding a word processor. LMAO idk each aspect has its own easy and hard moments depending on the type of project you’re working on. getting excited about an idea, maybe? that’s easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

writing

33. Why do you write?

because i have been for years and don’t know how to do anything else, and because i want to be the content i want to see in the world. also because i have like 34838 worlds in my head and need a medium for all of them