#idk I haven’t done the math there’s no point

[calico-kiwi]

i have been learning taekwondo for ALMOST A YEAR ALREADY so how come it wasn’t until LITERALLY TODAY it dawned on me I can now use my newly acquired fighting knowledge to WRITE COOL AND BETTER FIGHT SCENES FOR MARIBAT OH MY GOOOODDDD IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOO AFRAID TO REALLY WRITE FIGHT SCENES BUT THIS IS LIKE SO PERFECT

anyways catch me daydreaming abt writing maribat stuff again, hopefully we can turn the daydreaming into daydoing (or maybe nightdoing)

[inupibaldspot]

So It Matches Your Eyes.

Characters: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : Highschool!Gojo has a crush on you, idk mane.

To Yaga, this was a sight of fresh air which almost acted a light reminder that his students being so strong and special affiliated with cursed energies where still children.

His four second year students were all under detention after forgetting to make a veil when they carried out a mission. Dealing with the after math which consisted of explains to the elders and finding excuses on how to twist the media had led him to not sleeping for three days! Now he was making all of them write an descriptive essay on why veils are such importance to jujutsu sorcerers . Shoko’s seat was empty though , she was summoned in the infirmary after a third year student was severely injured from a mission, Yaga hoped Shoko didn’t miss out too much of her school days.

Despite, Yaga having a book in his hands as he read through got distracted my a certain trouble maker student, Gojo Satoru. A strong young man born into the esteemed Gojo Clan, blessed with infinity and six eyes was currently looking a certain someone sitting next to him.

You who was always diligent was working on your essay, occasionally closing your eyes with a small pout and when you felt you finally got a point worth writing down,tongue slightly jutting out from the corner of your lips which would make Gojo’s lips curl up as his eyes soften. Ahh young love.

Yaga had noticed how Gojo’s seat would be much closer to yours as compared to the regular seating arrangements, and if anyone Yaga himself would come in early and make changes to the seating, Gojo would always nonchalantly, without fail shift it closer to yours.

“Yaga Sensei, I’m done!” You shouted up from your seat which made both Yaga and Gojo, jump as you rush quickly up to your teacher with your paper which you had your essay written on. “ I’m done so I’ll be leaving. Drama of Haruma Miura will be coming out and I haveeee to watch it live.”

“Wai-!” Ignoring Yaga’s shout you quickly made your way out of the door leaving a trail of dust behind with how quick you were which made Geto laugh at your antics.

Yaga quickly scans through you essay and sighs. It’s well written so I have no place to complain. “Sensei, I’m also done!” Gojo quickly rushes to his teacher and places his paper on his table about to rush away, in a rush to follow you.

Before Gojo could take another step, he felt a tug on his collar as his turns his head to look at his teacher who had a scrowl on his face. “Satoru,I asked for a descriptive essay!”

“Not only did you write me an argumentative essay, your essay completely sided with not putting up a veil because that’s a drag and ordinary people should just suck it up.” Geto sits completely amused, as Yaga never lets go of Gojo’s collar as he continues to shout at him, the way you’ve got Gojo completely following you everywhere with his puppy love was funny as fuck.

You flinch as the door to your slams open which makes you turn your head to find a scrolling Satoru Gojo walk in with his hands in pocket. “ Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

“Beats me.” Despite entering the room like an uncivilized person would gently close the door behind him, he didn’t want more scolding from you. His eyes trails to you who sat on your bed with a small table on your bed, your hand was extended with nail polish es sets on the table. “Weren’t you gonna watch a drama or something?”

You huff as you made sure your left hand was staying still,making sure the mail polish dries properly. “He kisses the female lead so I don’t wanna watch the drama no more…”

Gojo’s smiles, a condescending one in fact as he walks and slowly sits on your bed making sure your nail polishes don’t fall over. “Sucks to be you~” He purrs out his words.

“Hmp! I hope Inuoe Waka gets exposed for having a husband.” You say with Gojo going ‘blah blah’ in the background, smile still plastered on his face. Your eyes look over to his, sharing an eye contact as you smile. “Want to put on some nail polish?”

Gojo peers over. “You gonna apply for me right?” And smiles when you have a nod of confirmation as he hurriedly out-stretched his hand towards you.

“Really? I thought you’d be against it,saying something like this ain’t what men do?” Gojo have no shit to that thought, as long as the girl he had a big fat crush on, holds his hand, a win is a win.

You look over you collection. “What color do you want?.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Maybe blue…a blue which would look similar to your eyes.”

“Beautiful…” Gojo slightly melts as you peer over your collection, your hair slightly covering your face as the evening light from the sun gives your face a heavenly look. “I meant of course! My eyes are a beautiful blue!” He stammers through his sentences as he fights back the heat on his face.

You looked at him with a scowl, what an egotistical brat! Was written all over your fave but then you didn’t say a word as you picked up a color and held his hand, bringing it closer to yours as you start applying the nail polish.

Gojo felt as if the part of his hands which were held were extremely warm, he hoped he doesn’t start sweating. But as he continues to look at you and your eyes which was focused on his fingers, he felt very light, as if this was how it was always meant to be with him being with you and you who looked simply so beautiful as the room was engulfed in a comfortable silence.

“Done!” You smiled as you looked at the nail polish on Gojo’s fingers before your lips curled upwards turned into a pout. “You’re so unfair, Satoru…”

Gojo tilted his head in confusion. “What did I do?”

“Even your hand is so pretty.” You huff as you brought your hands next to his. Gojo’s hands were big yet it was so slim with proper trimmed nails , you had no doubt if he were to become a nail model he’d be booked and busy.

Gojo felt heat rush into his face as he tried to keep his heart from beating too fast as his brain starts to make unconfirmed scenario but in which all of them contained you. “What do you mean ‘even’?”

You looked into his eyes for a brief second as you slowly look away, your cheeks had a beautiful flush to it. “I mean… you’re born into the Gojo clan so you’re already freaking rich… you have such cool cursed techniques, you’re already a special grade sorcerer.”

Gojo bites the inside of his cheeks In disappointment from your answer. As he opened his mouth, about to make a snarky remark you beat him to it.

“You’re tall, your hair always looks good no matter how you style it, your eyes are so beautiful which looked like the limitless skies , you’re also good looking…” you finally look into his eyes, Gojo thought that it was his day to die for a second at how adorable you looked with a shy look into your face. “So it’s unfair that you even got pretty hands.. you literally got everything.”

“…you.” Gojo muttered in a low, quiet voice which you couldn’t understand properly so you titled you head as you have him a confused look, blush still dusted on your cheeks from your confession.

“I don’t have you…” He repeated. “If you were mine then only can I say I have everything.” Gojo had always made many scenarios which was about him confessing to you as he attended class, in his showers, before he slept but this, this wasn’t part of his scenario. This wasn’t how he thought he’d be confessing to you but then the moment now seemed just right.

“I see… I guess that really means you’ve got everything.” You break into a smile as you then put out your hand towards him. “Do you mind coloring this hand of mine?”

Gojo smiles as his heart soars, he tries to control his lips from curling into a smile but then despite being the strongest sorcerer of his generation he is unable to; he was simply that happy, so happy that you reciprocated his feelings. “What color?”

“Blue like yours…So we can show everyone that I belong to you,Satoru.”

Guys I’m kinda proud of this cus even I was giggling, twirling my hair and swinging my legs writing this

[therodpod]

it is time for my ranking of Optimus Prime’s parenting skills… which are only semi-serious (at best) and mostly consists of inside jokes. Enjoy.

1. Starting off strong, G1!Optimus: 7.9/10.

Okay listen, technically speaking he was everyone’s dad BUT he looked like he was about to strangle anyone that wasn’t Bumblebee on more than one occasion, and plus he died :/ which totally wasn’t cool, bc it made my bbg hate himself♥️. and there’s also just like. his treatment of the Dinobots… so. Yikes, king. Points were doxxed xoxo.

2. My personal favorite—Cyberverse!Optimus: 8/10.

I’d give him ten out of ten for being an absolute MILF but he also let’s all three sons be absolute demons and never seems to know where they are, AND gives the impression that he’s locking himself in the pantry and eating a snack just to escape them for a few minutes (https://youtu.be/CHWMIAaUj1M), so sorry babe. being a divorced single mother is never easy, but you look fantastic doing it ((btw he’s PTA parents with Grimlock, but unlike him, he never knows what’s going on)).

3. Honorable mention bc I technically haven’t finished it. Armada!Optimus: 7.9/1

He gives me army dad awkwardly trying to raise a military brat and that’s why it’s so low, bc while he isn’t a terrible parent TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, he’s still in the army and is raising his son in it. like maybe the kid wanted to make art, man. SMH.

4. IDW!Optimus, my beloathed♥️. 5/10.

Bumblebee is the golden child who has never done anything wrong in his entire life in Optimus’ optics, while Rodimus is the estranged son who he only sees on the holidays MAYBE and whom he hates. In fact, I’m doubtful he even likes seeing him that much.

5. #Boymom Prime!Optimus: 9/10

another one who gets points redacted bc did you see him with Smokescreen? that man is a boymom. He believes boys will be boys and posts on cyberbook “I didn’t know love until I looked into my sons’ eyes; ‘til are one; my little rascals are starting cube-ball soon and it’s so tiring driving them everywhere but I wouldn’t have it any other way!! #BoyMom.”

6. Netflix!Optimus: 0/10.

not a parent, boo.

7. Twenty-Three-Old-College-Dropout Animated!Optimus. 2/10.

I give him two points bc he’s more like their older brother, but he also hasn’t straight up killed them so that gives him /some/ bonuses. Bee’s like fourteen, and Bulkhead’s like fifteen, and he’s barely twenty-three living with Prowl who is a HIGH-SCHOOL dropout at twenty-five and is a hippie who smokes a blunt in their garage—and Ratchet is in his mid-seventies and never leaves his room, so you can see why he deserves the two points for not snapping.

8. Earthspark Optimus, ‘the cool dad’: 8.9/10.

He’s delightful and awkward and tries his best, but he’s also obviously overworked and doesn’t always have time to be there emotionally for Bumblebee; he also hates his son’s ex and I’m sure threw a party when him and Breakdown broke up, despite being divorced himself (Elita-1) and having an /interesting/ past himself (Megatron). hope that helps. Still better than IDW.

9. Half-joking, Japanese!Optimus. 10/10.

Idk what’s going on there, but he looks delightful.

10. Optimus Micheal Prime, Bayverse: 1/10.

just the worst parenting my man, somehow even worse than IDW!OP bc atleast he /liked/ Bumblebee. he started really good during the first movie, and then it must q u ick ly derailed. somebody send CPS on his ass.

11. Beeverse!Optimus: 10/10.

watching him go John Wick on the decepticons so Bee could escape? delightful. the fact that he sent him on the “‘safest’” planet in the galaxy? hilarious. the ‘very well’? my favorite op line in all the continuities. also one of his best designs ONG.

12. The man, the myth, the legend - Optimus Primal. 7.9/10.

mostly going off that one gag where they were too scared to tell him they did something wrong, I have built my personal headcanon. I feel like Primal has made Cheetor cry when he helped him with his math homework, and will even beat Rattrap’s grown ass if you catch him in the wrong mood. (he’s literally just this tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRKX4t93/) ((and it’s definitely cheetor and rattrap)).

13. Finally, the end––RID2002 Optimus Prime: 6/10.

he never knew what was going on, SMHHHH. Wedge fraternizing with Sky-Byte? who knows! he certainly doesn’t. Side-Burn potentially becoming his future-in-law and Just Being Like ThatTM in general? well he never talks to Ultra Magnus anyway, and boys will be boys, amiright? but don’t be fooled, though, I love Car Robots and I would die for all of them. thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[loki-zen]

early marriage anon guy here:

thanks for not publishing the other asks, they got a bit wordy and I don’t want to bring Discourse down upon your house.

to clarify what i was getting at a little bit, I don’t think that it’s a causal thing. I think it’s much more likely that what I’m seeing is a combo of “people who emotionally mature quickly are more likely to be happy & successful adults, and also more likely to form stable relationships at a relatively young age” and “if you’re in your late twenties, everyone you know who’s in a successful LTR got together fairly young, because of how math works”

What I’ll absolutely argue is that getting into an LTR comparatively young doesn’t seem to be incompatible with becoming a happy and successful adult, and I wish we didn’t discourage people from that path in the states. Many young men seem very hung up on the societal expectation to have a womanizer phase, and a lot of them don’t seem to benefit from it too much, even if they pull it off.

overall benefits of sexual revolution that I think were good and important: kids somewhat later in life seems good, even for couples who paired up young, access to birth control helps women not get trapped in bad relationships, as does greater societal acceptance of divorce.

We haven’t done anything real effective to reduce sexual violence, but people seem to take it more seriously. I’m not sure how much it was ignored in the past though, other than marital rape being very much glossed over in the past. idk if that really has to do with the sexual revolution, but seeing it as unacceptable is a good change.

Overall, “barefoot and pregnant at 20” is a bad thing to encourage as a society, I just worry that we’ve shifted to encouraging conditions that lead to a lot of people being “single and childless at 32”, which is also not ideal for people being happy.

I honestly just hadn't gotten around to it! im busy:/

I think the main point I wanted to make in response was basically that while - like everything that gets sufficiently mainstream does - it's obviously been very much captured by the "there should be A Normal and there's something wrong with you if you're not it" crowd, the real point of sexual permissiveness was supposed to be permissiveness, not mandating.

Your female friends shouldn't feel antifeminist for not having a 'hoe phase'; it would be antifeminist of them to shame others for having one, but entirely feminist of them to enjoy settling down early as something that is no doubt safer and more enjoyable to do in a world where it can be a choice - moreover, a world where if it doesn't work out, they can call a divorce lawyer instead of looking up "undetectable poison for husbands" on Ye Olde Lady-Google.

Also, it's important to get your history right so you know what you're comparing shit to.

It used to be expected for a lot of men to have womaniser phases in the past! There's never been any strong expectation that a man be a virgin on his wedding night. Since for the most part Respectable Ladies that wanted to get married couldn't openly have a hoe phase, for men of the middle classes and up this took the form of economic sex tourism; patronising sex workers mostly drawn from lower economic classes. Because of the concentration of this activity into a relatively* small subset of the female population, and the state of protection and medicine available, this practice spread hella venereal disease which men then took back to their eventual wives and then your kid gets born with syphillis. Or you could fuck with women your own class and wind up getting sued because of you do it wrong, you've just scuppered that woman's access to financial stability and social acceptance for the rest of her life. Sounds stressful!

*relatively, meaning that there were far more sex workers than there are today. Stands to reason - compared to today's sex workers, they made bank!

Anyway, long story short this is a classic case of blaming modernity for something that's been around a long time.

What else - you talked about doing work in a relationship as if it was something you could get out of the way if you started early. Sadly that isn't how it works - when people say relationships take work, they mean the whole time.

It being harder to meet people in your thirties - the actual meeting part can be harder, but working out if you're compatible is typically a lot easier. You know a lot more about who you are and what you want than you did when you were barely not a teenager, and so do they!

And of course, people have always been single and childless in their thirties. Which is not that old!

And holy shit, there was a lot of sexual violence in the past. We've certainly reduced that a lot! You hear more about it because, as you say, people take it more seriously. But in a lot of pre-sexual revolution relationships, people, especially women, basically didn't have a choice about getting married and didn't have the right to refuse sex with their spouses. Plus the economic sex tourism was a hotbed of sexual violence.

[sheepiling]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank you to @cantseemtohide for the tag! 🤗 

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I was adopted at 18 months and never met my biological mother after that so I have no way of knowing; my adoptive parents didn’t change my first or middle names. 

2. When was the last time you cried? 

I always cry during period week. And every time I watch Encanto. 

3. Do you have kids? 

Not yet! My husband and I do want at least one kid, though. Maybe two! Not yet, though. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Only for friends that like sarcasm. If I don’t know someone well enough to know their sense of humor yet or I know they don’t like sarcasm then I don’t use it around them. I enjoy it but it’s situational for me. 

5. What sports do you play / have you played? 

I was in marching band in high school, and when I was little I took ballet classes, though I didn’t stay in those long enough to graduate to pointe shoes. idk if those count as sports but that’s the only physical activities I did growing up. Nowadays I just do weights and jogging. 

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? 

Personality, vibe checks, & whether or not I wanna actually talk to them or just be polite and yeet out of there. 

7. Eye color? 

Greyish-blue! Sometimes tealish. It depends on the lighting and what I’m wearing. But usually a light turquoise blue-grey color. 

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? 

While I love classic horror and occult halloweeny things, I love fairy tales more, so happy endings wins! Also I dislike all the modern horror stuff that’s a bunch of gore and jump scares and violence. I prefer horror that’s 80s or older. But I love all fairy tale movies no matter when they’re made! 

9. Any special talents? 

My long-term memory is abnormally good. I can vividly remember back to kindergarten. However, my short term memory is crap. I’m always losing my phone. 😅 

10. Where were you born? 

F L O R I D A 

11. What are your hobbies? 

Playing Sims and being on Simblr (obviously) but I also like a couple MMORPGs that I play with my guild. I’m also in the choir at my Unitarian Universalist church, and I still play Flute and Bodhrán privately. I’ve been meaning to join a local drum circle but haven’t dedicated the time to that yet. 

12. Do you have any pets? 

Yes! I have 2 cats, Abigail and Tigger, and they’re mother and son! Though if we’re counting my mom’s & mi suegra’s pets as well then we have a total of 6 pets in the family. My mom has 3 cats, Little One, Midnight, and Dev (all are rescued strays ♡) and my husband’s family has a yorkie named Toby. 💕  and that puppy is mad spoiled they have baby strollers for him and take him everywhere! 😂 

13. How tall are you? 

In freedom metrics I’m 5′4″ 

14. Favorite subject in school? 

I always liked music / band the most! When you’re in marching band it consumes your entire life. The rehearsals are so long. But that’s where all my friends were so it was amazing. 💖 

15. Dream job? 

I flunked out of college twice, I’ve kind of given up on any type of careers. My husband is able to support us and I just get part time things when I’m able. Once we have kids I plan on being a stay-at-home mom, and if USA doesn’t fix the violence in schools problem we’ve been having by the time our future kiddos are ready for school I’ll probably homeschool at least the early elementary years. Though once the math gets too advanced for me to be able to teach I’ll need to look for other options ‘cuz I can’t homeschool the whole K~12. Hopefully we can get some kind of education reform by that time. 

And now to tag peeps! I’m a bit late to answer this b/c of my Mexico trip and a lot of people have done this already. Also, 15 people is A LOT for a tag game so I’m just gonna pick the most recent mutuals in my Activity log! Sorry if you already did this. If anyone else didn’t get a ping for this tag and wants to do it you can totes tag me as the person that tagged you, though! ♡ 

@helenofsimblr @sparkiekong @sassie-sims @druidberries @daydreamertrait @timberllania @sir-silly @nolongerafruit @nightlifeseries @silverspringsimmer @coliemoongaming @sims-for-semi @saps-sims @faetheegrey @talesofsimverse 

[maybebabyplease]

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People

thx for tagging me @second-sister xoxo

Are you named after anyone? allegedly but i am so sure my parents are lying about it bc i have looked to see if anyone in our family has my ugly-ass first name and they do not seem to! but i have the same middle name as my aunt and my grandfather and that’s where em comes from :)

When was the last time you cried? ha. this morning. bc i want a dog. and i travel alllllll the time and thus cannot get one any time soon.

Do you have kids? not now, not ever! there are some genetic things i’m not dying to pass down. but i hugely believe in the village and try to be very involved in the lives of the kids around me.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? sometimes? it’s not my main thing. i tend to say very sad things and i think it’s a joke and other people do not. 

What’s the first thing you notice about people? hair! 

What’s your eye colour? green (and yes i AM annoying about it)

Scary movies or happy ending? i am a giant baby you can find me in the audience at the rom coms

Any special talents? i cannot think of any presently

Where were you born? atl (REAL atl too, none of this otp nonsense)

What are your hobbies? writing is really my only hobby at this point, and idk if it even counts as a hobby. i used to do a lot of weaving and knitting but i haven’t done so lately!

Do you have any pets? no (see question 2 re: dog)

What sports do you play/have you played? tennis (poorly) and then when i was younger i was a coxswain!

How tall are you? 5’2" don’t @ me i tried to get taller i really did

Favourite subject at school? english or history when i was younger, and then french when i got older/more fluent and it became more interesting than just grammar/vocab lessons

Dream job? i do not dream of labor, but i do want a really nice writing career. so far i’ve not managed to be paid for anything i’ve published (the short story/lit mag world is often unpaid) but obvi i would never publish a whole collection or a novel for free, so getting that together would be a dream! 

not sure i can count to 15 (notice that math was NOT in my favorite subjects) but here are some nice no-pressure tags: @pancakehouse @colgatebluemintygel @moongays @anemicc-royalty @queemes @thebloatedfrog @sweetpeasandlilies @squintclover @soloorganaas @heartofspells xoxo 

[tokusaatsus]

GUN TO MY HEAD, YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD

ft. mikejima madara

© tokusaatsus 2022

warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, blood, and guns, suicidal thoughts

“You lied to me,” Your voice sounds breathless, weak even to your own ears, and you hate it. You hate that you’ve been brought down to this–begging for closure, for that sweet, sweet bliss that came with ignorance. “I trusted you and you…you fucking lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you…”

“Oh, my mistake.” You laugh. It’s a crackly, devastating sound. “You didn’t lie, you just omitted the truth, right?”

Madara winces, though he makes no move to correct you. He just stands there, gun holstered despite the fact that yours is out, pointed right as his chest. He doesn’t move from where he stands across from you, hands hanging loosely at his side. “Y/N-san…it doesn’t have to be like this. Put the gun down, okay?”

You don’t. This is a deescalation tactic, one you recognise well. You’ve used it yourself.  If he thinks treating you like a victim rather than a threat will make you let your guard down, he’s sorely mistaken.

“Y/N-san…” He sounds pained at your refusal to comply.

You know he could take you easily, if he wanted to. He won’t, though. You don’t know what’s stopping him, but you’re grateful for it.

“I promise, I can fix this. We can fix this. You, me, and Kohaku-san–”

“–You leave him out of this!” You snap, wired so tensely your muscles go rigid. “Haven’t you done enough damage already? You ruined my life, you don’t need to go around ruining his too!”

He flinches, neary imperceptible. You can see the hurt that flashes in his gaze for a split second, and it jolts you. You feel bad, just a little, because you don’t really mean it–you were just trying to hurt him. But you need him to think you do because if he keeps trying to give you the benefit of the doubt it won’t turn out well for him.

“Just…stop, okay?” You say, suddenly tired. You feel too young in your own skin, a child playing with weapons of violence they don’t know how to use. Your next words are careful, because you are in a field of landmines right now and you don’t know what will be the next thing to set it off. “Stop. You tried. You tried. It’s fine. It’s fine.” You flick the safety back on, drop the gun, and kick it over to him. It clatters against the tile flooring. “Kill me and be done with it.

You’re done. Done with all of this. You’ve been bloodying your hands for a while now. You can still see it sometimes, dyed a crimson that makes you feel sick. At least you know if it’s him, he’ll make it gentle.

Madara’s eyes widen, gaze flickering between you and the gun. You’ve put him in a tough place, you know, but you’re tired of making decisions that always end up with you behind the sightline of a gun. Let someone else be in charge of it for a change.

“No,”

“No?” Your eyes meet his. “What do you mean, no?”

“I won’t do it.” He says, so soft you almost don’t hear him. “I won’t. You should go. I’ll tell them you weren’t here. They won’t find you if you leave Japan.”

You hesitate, but he won’t look at you. “Okay. Don’t come looking for me.”

“I won’t.”

notes!

WC: 557 words

reze txt idk assassins au grabbed me by the throat. there is literally nothing romantic abt this but take it as u will. wrote most of it during my math class rip me we have a report due soon and i’ve done jack shit pray for me y’all <3 mind the trigger warnings tho but enjoy <33

[cacklingblobbittyrabbitty]

unhinged rainbow magic post 7 of 12

We started having yet more opinions by the time we reached these bitches let me tell you but it’s gonna get worse from here!

PETAL FAIRIES (not flower fairies cos I guess that was already copyrighted by that woman with the delightful drawings Cecily Hodgeson? Idk)

Tia YES I Actually Love This Looks like a tulip! The vibes are on point Colour scheme is delightful Caramel hair is finally working So simple but works so well Timeless but still got them 2000s vibes hell yeeeaaaahhhh

Pippa You can either do the hairdo OR the headband NOT THE COMBINATION You need a scrunchie, not a headband Once again the poppy vibes are splendid Are they all gonna have the same boring-ass ballet flat shoes? That being said I do like the flowers on the shoes Necklace is TOO BIG and looks like a WOUND, get the war images out of here jesus Dress is cute tho plus the massive waistband actually works here!

Louise The combination of colours? Green and pink? Are you a fimble bitch? White and green would have really worked so why the pink bro??? The necklace looks like its eating her. It’s a lot.  Halter neckline + massive waistband that somehow makes it an empire waistline + leggings under a dress Knee high boots! So from the waist down she’s pulling it off Leggings + boots = spies vibes which is a compliment well done Louise DIFFERENCE OF OPINION - hair my friend: not the worst but I hate the flower and overall it’s not helping the look me: colour works, I like the flower especially if you get rid of the necklace, hairdo is so 2000s and she’s rocking it

Charlotte Still kinda gay hmm Why is the sunflower fairy so blue? Is it meant to be the sky? This is the One Time they’ve fucked up dark hair (so far anyways lol) The outfit is a vibe but it’s so meh (ig could be worse tho) Colour combination isn’t horrific it’s just… interesting I can’t tell whether the blue trousers, brown belt, and yellow flats works or not Very 2000s - low waist, flares, big flower belt, crop top Necklace is too big AGAIN! The petals are unproportional bro! You’ve got some baby sunflowers that haven’t been loved adequately going on here! There is too much brown and not enough yellow! But like overall why is there more brown and blue than yellow? Have they ever seen a fuckin sunflower??????????

Olivia I LOVE THE HAIR it’s a yes from us luv This is how you don’t fuck up a headband! This is how u use a scrunchie! Most detailed belt we’ve ever seen Really like the colour scheme - delightful surprising lil bit of yellow Pink vest? We’d lilac instead but keep the shoes pink The very existence of this vest looks like she got dresscoded bruh Shoes are adorable! This is necklace that could work IF IT WAS SMALLER currently it looks like a starfish is attached to her neck lmaoooooo

Danielle Primary school teacher vibes (wraparound shawl, long bead necklace, the pose) - she definitely lives vicariously through the four year olds she teaches Double necklace????? Is it Necessary????? (it’s a pasta necklace painted pink) Ballet flats are back! The skirt/dress is delightful but the cardigan is Not, a lil yellow belt would be better holy fuck Why is the hair teaching me maths? I like the length and style of her hair but the colour is off because the cardigan is too goddamn yellow

Ella LOOK AT ALL THAT PINK I’d honestly prefer a darker pink or even burgundy though, my childhood internalised misogyny is rearing its ugly head here Ballet shoes for bad bitches! This is the SECOND petal fairy to be unintentionally empire-waistlined by her massive belt Can the petal fairies please stop wearing entire flowers as necklaces please? How about a singular petal each? You don’t need an entire fuckin flower! Skirt looks twirlable tho yayy Really like the waviness of the hair yeeeee and the colour is cute

[1d1195]

Sam my love I am so glad you’re at a slightly better point! It sucks that you haven’t been feeling well :( I know it’s not easy to just “relax or calm down” but really I am glad that you did take some time for yourself! PLEASE CONTINUE TO DO SO! Don’t feel bad about not posting any new writing too! Honestly if you decided to not post anymore for whatever reason, it’s okay because you're still a person behind the screen. As long as YOU are okay or trying to get there, that is enough! You're never being dramatic, you know your body and feelings! 

Ive had such a busy weekend and I started my summer courses today(monday) which is why i haven't been on here as much :( Weekend was busy since I went thrifting and got some new skirts which I am excited about! And I went to a vintage car show! I love looking at older cars but I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM! I just like the vibes lol 

I also have not finished the bear yet, I'm only 4 episodes in 😭 and girl don’t get me started on how i think about the whole claire or sydney thing because I feel like I can make a whole ass dissertation on the bear HAHA especially with this new season I have MANY thoughts lol But I do agree that the first episode was an interesting watch. I think that it was an attempt to give some more backstory especially with Carmy’s training but I think that the transitions from past/present were hard to follow. But the changes were very stuble so it can easily be missed. The way I knew was by looking at his hair?? Idk maybe im reaching lol  Oh I would cry too! I didn’t grow up with so much yelling and I hate confrontation so it would not be a good environment for me lol I'm also a perfectionist so I simply would die :)! Anyways I'm hoping to have more time during this week to finish it! 

How was your weekend? Hows’ the week starting out?!

Sam you're literally the SWEETEST how would I not be nice to you😭?! I love you!!!-💜

I didn't realize you were taking summer courses! I thought you were free! I feel like we discussed that you were and like a goldfish, I forgot immediately 🤦‍♀️ (it's slowly coming back, you're making up for some lost time perhaps?) How long are the classes and are you excited about them? I actually loved my summer math classes in grad school (maybe more than my regular season classes). They were like 👌 the right amount of time and the right amount of work.

New skirts! Are they long skirts or short skirts? Any fun patterns? I also know NOTHING about cars. I would rather walk. The vintage car shows are cool though! (Sounds like another great story meet cute to use 👀)

I just finished ep 5. I think as a whole the season is weird but I'm still invested. I like it a lot. I feel like Sydney doesn't want to part own it. I'm thinking she's seeing Carmy spiraling and she's like "Maybe I don't want to tie myself into him (and the restaurant)" Idk just my prediction. OBSESSED WITH THE FAKS. "How many Faks are coming?" "At least two, less than five." Literally amazing. I think Carmy's obsession is also a little too much this season. Maybe that's the point (obvi, his non-negotiables are/were a lot). Him wanting a new menu every night is a lot for me. I'm stressing about it. I feel like I've mentioned but my bf is pretty into cooking and he thinks Carmy is modeled after Marco Pierre White (I forget his reasoning; even though it's been said The Bear is not based off a real person) but if my bf IS right, it doesn't bode well for Carmy :/ I'm obsessed with the character arcs of some of these characters. Richie and Tina for example. TINA omg I could have killed her at the beginning. What a queen. I'm trying to be vague and also not spoil anything so hopefully I didn't. But I apologize if I did.

Totally agree with you on the perfectionist front. It's rough out there. I would sob into my purees lol

Omg I don't even remember the weekend. I think it was relaxing lol I was so nervous about school stuff. Because of the 4th I'm done with the first week of school so I'm feeling much better now. Mother Nature made her appearance as well and I shouldn't have been surprised since I mentioned last week I wanted to jump into traffic which is a good signal. But anyway, I'm thriving now. Need to do some chores and I'm writing something hopefully to post for tomorrow! I want to read and go for walks as well!

Hope your classes are good, your week is good, and you're enjoying the rest of The Bear LOVE YOU! 💕

xoxo

[myawesomebeautifullife]

The adventures of 2022

I can’t not begin to explain about all the events that have taken place since March. Although I will because that is the point of this post LOL. Where do begin?

Let’s start with the fun stuff like the many other concerts I attended. I went to LA pride were I finally saw Christina Aguilera!!!! Who brought up Kim Petras, and Paris Hilton on stage! Let’s just say that it was well money spent. I also saw Avril Lavigne!!! I can’t believe it that I finally was able to see my child hood idles! 

My birthday was so amazing! Sami and I went to big bear, rented a cabin, and just was in nature. It was so great to get out of the city and just be in nature and away from life. I hate the idea of being 32 but I feel like 31 was such a great year filled with a lot of great memories. I really wanted 31 to be a great year and I feel like I accomplished that. 

I can’ t believe I am about to write about school but in a positive way! That spring semester I was taking history class and I had to write all these essays and it was terrible but I did it! I got a B in the class. In the summer I had taken an art film class. Basically I had to watch two films every week. I had to write two essays which was terrifying BUT I was successful at it. I ended up getting an A in the course AND was like legit mad that the course was over. I really did enjoy that course a lot. I wish a lot of my other classes were set up the same way. 

This semester I am taking an English class but in person and I am taking a math class but that one is online. I am actually enjoying myself this semester. It definitely has its challenging and I am of course procrastinating assignments but I am working on my self to now do that as much or as hard. 

Although great things have been happened. I almost lost Salem. He had urinary blockage and required medical treatment that cost what feels like a million dollars but he is better now and doing better. I’ve been feeding him his special foods and I’ve only been giving him filtered water. 

I was to finish this year out strong. This year is the year of self. Self-care, Self-love, Self-Respect, and Self-reliant. I’ve done vast improvements in how I view myself, my surroundings, and what I have aligned for myself in the future. 

Goals that I was to success to finish out 2022. I want to have a morning, getting home, and night routine! I don’t have any. I’ve been struggling. I want to work even better at planning things. I feel like when it comes to work and school I have no problem showing up but when it comes to anything else I take like 5 million years to show up and I think that really says alot about myself. I want to start something that helps my soul and my peace of mind and I should up like how I do for school and work. 

2023, I want it to be the year of adventure. To take the learnings that I’ve gain, take the things that I’ve manifested for and life them out in 2023. Something that I’ve notice I’ve been lacking. I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. I’ve been doing these great things but something keeps pulling to think back to times like when I was younger and surround by friends and trips and back to when I used to do Make Up videos. I miss the creative, go getting self I used to be. I feel like I’ve been working on myself and manifest things that it’s time that I start to feel again and go live again. idk. it’s weird and hard for me to explain but my future self who reads this will understand and hopefully isn’t having this problem.

[manyblinkinglights]

trembling because I made so MANY phone calls today. And also I had to turn down taking a test for another less well situated job. And now I have to take an ID photo for THIS job. Everything is going well but I can’t enjoy it and won’t until my PC is set up at the other end and I am receiving paid checks

[kuiinncedes]

.

[thecatprince]

Me: I’m going to be productive today. I’m going to clean my room and do my homework and do some writing!!

My executive dysfunction: no ❤️

[pumpkinpot]

More 🥧 dilf Sebastian please 😭😭

SAY LESS.

In my humble opinion Sebastian would take great pride in the way your little one is being raised. I can see him in parent teacher conference all straight spined and raised eyebrow. (In a way it reminds me of the way Morticia Adams bragged about Wednesdays morbid drawing.) He would wave away the modern levels of propriety for dark uniqueness.

This is how I kind of see that going.

CW: idk bro uhm- Sebastian gets stern with a teacher or two. He’s a demon. A suggestive line at the end. 

.

You’d specified to your boss you needed the night off for parent teacher conference. It was set in the calendar and was a high priority to not be disturbed. 

Unfortunately, after a poor choice in sushi you’d had to take two days off work, throwing your budget out the window. Of course you’d had savings, but it would dip into your vacation fund and that- 

No. 

So with a begrudged attitude you asked Sebastian if he’d stand in for you. He’d agreed with little to no resistance. What else was the demon to do with his night without you two around? He’d half expected to accompany you anyhow, so this wasn’t much of a differ.

You handed him a list of which teachers you wanted him to specifically talk to as well as what to ask them about. More or less the gist was how was your kid doing and what could be done at home to further their depth of knowledge. 

You were so thorough, but in the best way. Your kid had expressed an aptitude for art. You’d noticed a while back doodles decorating the outs of their homework of moths and insects of the sorts. They’d become quite detailed, some with shadows beneath the legs and proper fur along some of the larger species. After a pattern had been set you’d begun tailoring all of your at home textbooks to fit the aesthetic. Math games about ants tunneling habits and books like bug soup. Sebastian knew you were likely checking to see if your efforts were paying off or not. 

So here he sat. Your child next to him pinch lipped as the teacher gave Sebastian the low down on your child’s marks and behaviors. 

“So they haven’t been getting the best test scores,” the teacher said, sliding over the most recent test Sebastian remembered helping your child study for. 

He points to the answer your kid wrote and the identical number the teacher had written beside it in red pen. “This is the same answer.” 

“Yes, but here we do multiplication in the grid form, c/n didn’t.” 

“though they still got the answer right,” Sebastian clarified. 

The teacher pushed up his grubby glasses with an annoyed huff. “but he didn’t do the process right.” 

“Correct me if I am wrong, but math is a finite concept with only one right answer, but multiple ways of getting to said conclusion.” the teacher tries to interrupt, but Sebastian holds up a hand. “If they do not work best with the formula provided finding a process that which gets them to the same answer is not only innovative, but regarded in every other situation of a humans life.”

Your child tugs on Sebastian's coat tail, taking his attention away from the teacher. “Sebastian,” they whisper, “you’re making shade again.” 

Of course, the child was right. Sebastian looked around the room to all the light being sucked from the atmosphere leaving behind nothing but void. Sebastian hadn’t remembered the last time he’d gotten so worked up over a human, but someone discounting c/n intellect over a- 

He straightened his spine, composing himself. “I will expect that score to change and I’d like an itemized list of their past failings, come along c/n.” 

Your child steps in tow, the hallways parting like the red sea for you two. The last teacher to meet for the night was art. You two entered the room just as a pair were finishing up with the teacher. 

“C/n!” Says a curly haired child next to his mother. “whoa, is this your dad?” 

“No,” your child said, “this is my Sebastian.” 

They’re Sebastian. The demon supposed he was, in a way theirs, and yours. He let it fall without correction, making idle chat with c/n’s friend's mother as the teacher pulled your child’s records and assignments. 

“Mr. Sebastian, c/n, you can come sit down now.” 

This teacher in an apron filled with smeared paint, despite not painting showcased c/n’s work in comparison to others. without being told Sebastian could pick out easily which belonged to c/n. They’d taken to a darker pallet in all their pieces, signing with big curly-like initials. Despite the muted tones theirs somehow seemed more joyous. too many colors mottled others to murk and mess, but the dark blended like smoke and tea. 

Though the teacher didn’t seem to think so-

“We’d had an assignment,” he drolled. “Draw your family as animals. It could be any animal they’d liked, but it was to be portrait styled.” 

The assignment reminded Sebastian of those tacky stickers families, people with unusual amounts of children and pets stuck to the back of minivans, but kept his cringe to himself. 

“As you can assume most kids chose bears, bunnies or ducks, but c/n chose-”

Sebastian's breath caught in his throat. 

A Crow and two nine-spotted moth’s. 

“When prompted as to why they chose what they did, they said your true form was a crow.”

Sebastian managed a laugh, though his head was spinning. “likely due to my hair and dress, yes.”

The teacher gave a tight lipped nod hoping that Sebastian would show some sort of concern for the lack of vibrancy within the painting, but when shown some of the other lighter drawings he would rebuttal that your child was the only one to draw with proper anatomy and without anamorphic human hands or eyebrows. Besides the moth in which your child had chosen to emulate was indeed of a duller variety and nothing of the crow so what was the child to do, lie?

With one last jab, the teacher held up the crow and moth drawing at last. “Well crows do eat moths so-” 

Sebastian didn’t like the undertones of that statement a single bit. “Yes,” he agreed, “they do, but not all moths are gobbled up in the wake of a crow, like not all humans die of natural causes, what I see is a child taking an interest in the way of things, just because you cannot see past your rainbow glasses does not negate their creativity. I’d suggest you take some time to study that, perhaps a little Hieronymus Bosch.”

Sebastian and the child left another stunned teacher in the wake of vibrantly dulled atmosphere ready to head home but as he did, Sebastian couldn’t help his questions.

“Why did you chose me as a crow c/n?”  he asks, mazing them out of the school.

“Because that’s what you are,” the child says, holding onto Sebastian's extended index finger.  

“How do you know that?” Sebastian asks, turning his full attention to them.

suddenly feeling self conscious your child pinches their thumbs together. “I don’t know-”

“Speak with your chest c/n,” Sebastian says. “take a big breath and tell me.” 

They do as instructed before looking up at Sebastian. “because I see you outside at night. When you say you’re going home, you sit out and watch the house.” 

Sebastian had always told you he’d had a place to be during dark hours as to not impose your space. Aside from the occasional sleepover, the child was right. He’d kept to protecting your home from afar.

Perceptive little-

“c/n, that couldn’t possibly be me I-”

“Yes it is, I know it is.” they said, sliding into the back seat of your car. “mom told me all about how you can turn into a crow and make things dark. She told me not to mention it though-” 

Damn you and your no lying rule. It was quite finnicky to be tip toeing around the truth, he’d have to have a long conversation with you about how much the child knows and what information should be revealed when. But for now, he needed to go buy a frame for this drawing. Art such as this deserved to be showcased. Even if it were only for his benefit. 

“Hey,” you greet as they file through the door of your home. “How was it?” 

Your child opens their arms wrapping around your midsection. “Sebastian yelled at my teachers. It was awesome.”

Sebastian freezes in the doorway. “I did no such thing. I just-” he pauses to taste his excuse before offering it to you. “I just suggested they be a tad more open minded.” 

Your brow quirks, as you send your kid off to their room to pick tonight's reading. Once alone Sebastian takes the time to wrap himself around you. 

“Open minded,” you echo.

“One of them suggested I’m going to eat you.” 

“Aren’t you?” You laugh, brushing your nose against his. 

He’d be lying if the sureness in which you’d asked did sort of sting, but he kept that to himself. “Only in ways you’ll enjoy,” he whispers. 

A/N: Okay, I know this piece made it seem like I hate teachers.. I don’t I promise lol. If you happen to like this content there is more (including part one of DILF Sebastian) on my Master List

[in-tua-deep]

idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

[atomoxxetine]

The Cleric Who Cannot Cure pt.1

https://tenor.com/view/eddie-munson-eddie-eddie-stranger-things-stranger-things4-edit-gif-25801714

It’s about u becoming Eddie’s savior( Maths tutor )

Disclaimers!!!                                                                                                       

1. English is not my first language.

2. I don't know much about the '80s.

3. I know nothing about DnD.

4. I know almost nothing about the American school system.

5. The protagonist in this fanfiction is oddly specific and very hard to insert yourselves in. It's pretty much self-indulgence fic, but I just decided to leave out my name and share it with the world. ((The protagonist is the new Asian kid in the town.This is my plan for now))

6. I'm pretty new to fanfiction and Tumblr.

7. swearing  💀💀💀

8. ooc bc I binged and didn’t pay much attention except for the Eddie part.

9.prob eventually angst idk yet

I decided to write this to get Eddie Munson out of my head, hopefully. I haven't been able to function as a normal human being for a week now. No thoughts, just scenarios with Eddie on repeat. 

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"Hi! Ms.O'Donnell assigned me to tutor Maths for you-uh-Debbie?" Glancing at your sweaty palm mid-sentence because you are unbelievably bad with names, you announced. Burst into the room, check. Talk to Debbie, fuck, you have to identify her first. Oh shit, this is it. You already started the conversation. There is no going back now. What if Debbie is not in the club today?? But Debbie is a girl's name, and there's only one girl in this room so that’s still alright. There was a burst of sudden laughter right after you finished the sentence. What the hell is going on, why are they all laughing? Did you pronounce something wrong? Is she not Debbie?? Fuck. This is so scary. And what in the world is this club doing in this bloodcurdling room??  "Lady Applejack, perhaps you got too carried away with all this D&D. Is your new persona named Debbie? I thought you know better than to come up with this awful name." A voice boomed from behind the screen with a little chuckle. Fuck, you almost squealed. Didn’t know there was a person there. Your heart is pumping the blood so fast, the gushing sound almost drowns every other noise." And I thought you freak knew better than to assume I am bad at something." The girl in front of you retorted. Oh no. Did you cause a commotion? What is going on? If she is not Debbie then who is Debbie?? "There ain't no Debbie in this room. Are you mistaking something?" she asked, looking back at you. "I...I'm pretty sure I come to the right place." You hesitantly read out the smudged scribble on your hand. Thank god for the script. "...Debbie Munson, Hellfire club?" Followed suit by another laughter, even louder than the first time. Fuck, you wished the ground would just swallow you. This is so not worth it! Just for some extra points and to be in Ms. O'Donnel's grace. And what is so fucking funny?? "Debbie Munson! Debbie the freak Munson!!!" A boy roared while rolling on the floor from all that laughing. "Hey, hey, tone it down, tone it down, boys." The voice belonged to the man who suddenly emerged from behind the screen. Thank god, I’m saved. "Do you seriously don't know Eddie The Freak Munson?" The boy who was still on the floor quipped. You panicked. What??? Eddie??Freak?? What have you gotten yourself into? That kinda explains the sketchy room and suspicious club name.Wait..is this a cult?? "I-I haven't been familiar with Hawking's customs yet. I-is this something I'm supposed to be a-aware of?" you spluttered. "DUDE!" "Dustin, you are going to scare her off!" The man finally walked out to greet you. "Told you! This is my year! They are already sending me my cleric! Oh, dear cleric, please heal me from all the damage Calculus has done to me." The man who you think is Eddie said while feigning a heart attack. You flinched with widened eyes from the sudden actions. You are going to be so dead by the end of the day. It’s either from your own anxiousness or these scary people sacrificing you to satan. And what is a cleric? Why are you the cleric? What the hell are they talking about? "Talking about scaring her off." scoffed a taller kid. You gained back your composure, which you have little to none since the beginning. Think y/n, think. What should you do next, if you don’t want to be dead?