#idk i just wish people online could get the concept of you can hate or love something and the reason doesn’t have to be that deep

[halfricanloveyou]

i think we should make ‘be normal to people who don’t like whatever piece of media or art you’re obsessed with’ into a normalized concept.

i think we should go even further and be normal to like…people who HATE what you’re obsessed with instead of vague blogging about them. even if they only hate it based on a surface level and don’t wanna give it a chance.

it’s always ‘let people like things as much as they want’ but for some reason ‘let people dislike things as much as they want’ is unforgivable.

[yuttikkele]

please tell me more about gen z lotf au 🙏🙏

OFCCC!! i wrote a lot more about this than i thought i could, and i feel like i could keep going but i do wish to go to sleep! ty for the ask! (there was also an anon ask with this question, idk if it was you, but i'm just gonna answer this one lol)

the choir boys all know each other irl (obvi they still have choir together). everyone lives roughly in the same vicinity, but no one knows that.

they all met online during the pandemic. possibly through video games, twitter, or tiktok

how did this ragtag group of people all become friends? idk fortnite probably

i don't know much about fortnite, but it seems like it would start some friendships and/or rivalries. maybe minecraft or roblox too.

how they met and became friends is hazy, like how the beta kids became friends in homestuck. point is: they're all friends. pretty much.

some boys are closer friends than others, but they're all mutuals. they're all in like the same community. what community? that is a good question i should probably think of an answer

piggy uses the nickname people bullied him with as his online name. he gets cyberbullied and has ended up on many a cringe account, but it doesn't really bother him anymore. he likes to spread information, but he was a little self-righteous about it before he quit twitter. now he argues with people on instagram. piggy's also a redditor.

ralph usually just watches other people's content, but sometimes he'll post something and it'll get pretty popular because he's ralph and being well-liked is an innate part of his character. ralph does prefer to go out and do stuff than being online all the time.

simon is chronically online. being shy, he gravitated towards the internet. he's definitely a fandom girlie and has a tumblr (hi tumblr). he spreads positivity on the internet all the time. he's one of the good ones fr. i do hc simon as a Christian, so he does spread the Word a lot as an lgbtq affirming Christian dude

jack doesn't spend too much time on the internet. he also isn't allowed a lot of these medias by his parents, so that may have something to do with it. he does get upset when his posts don't get as many likes as ralph's

roger ragebaits and leaves hate comments all the time, but he has moments where he's nice. maurice memer obviously. sam and eric are the voros twins. i don't have too many thoughts about these guys just yet

they voice chat and sometimes video call

meeting each other irl for the first time led to the utter disgust at ralph's blindness in the fashion department

ok onto them reading lord of the flies cause i think this is such a funny concept

they all miraculously start reading lord of the flies as a class assignment at the same time

they all tell each other this and they're all like "loooool that's crazy we're all reading the same book at the same time"

i saw someone on my last post ab this say exactly what im about to say. it is truly the only way to go with this.

everyone's all "oh haha ralph's got the name of the first character AND he's blonde!" "piggy has the same name as peter's online name! haha how sill-" "WHY IS MY FULL LEGAL NAME IN THIS BOOK???"

the last person is jack btw if you couldn't tell

the exact names and character descriptions matching up a little too well with the boys startles them, but they still joke about it A LOT.

i mean, think about it, if you were forced to read this book in class and you find out you and your friends are basically the main characters, you would NOT stop cracking jokes about it.

"'ugly without silliness.' wow jack, william golding really DID put you in his story!"

they do start to get a little more freaked out when, yk, stuff starts going down in the book and they have to analyze it.

piggy's eventually like "OK we, or at least i, have got to figure this out." and he goes and does some research.

aaaaand that is all i can tell you for now :))

i do headcanon a lot of the boys as queer, but my hcs of them as gen z-ers do differ a little from my hcs of them as gen silencers.

piggy is a strict ally, his aunt is an ally, allies all around, until he realizes he is not so straight as he seems and is not really just an ally. bisexual

ralph knows nothing about the sexuality and gender biz he just does what feels right. he's pretty much demisexual/romantic tho.

simon is a gay dude. he is gnc and on the trans spectrum somewhere

jack is the only one using queer slurs, everyone gets onto him for it. he's gay, but he doesn't know it/won't accept it (because everyone in his life is HOMOPHOBIC!!!). when he does finally accept it, he is still using those slurs as slurs he is not reclaiming them.

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[skiasurveys]

What are some tropes/settings/concepts that you like in horror movies/books? psychological

Are there any objects that you own because of what they are rather than what you use them for? (For example, having a piano to have a piano rather than to play it or having an Eames chair because it is an Eames chair, etc.) no i’m poor

Who do you tend to compare yourself to most often? Is it someone in your life, someone online, or some composite idea of a person? people my age or younger

Stripes or polka dots? neither

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? i guess? it depends on who.

What is your gender? Do you think that people think it's obvious? Im a female. Im sure its obvious

How long did your first date last? which one? 😭

Highlight of your day? getting a blizzard

Is everything working in your house? I guess so

Does pop give you energy? Caffeine i guess

TV show you love with a passion? The last of us currently.

Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? Yeah. even if I dont think so at the time, I always learn

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? Nope. Maybe like 7?

Last time you went to 7-eleven? oh i dont even remember, I used to go all the time when I lived right behind one, but now I hardly go.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? I dont think I hate any with a passion, but i dont like arbys or five guys

Does everyone in your family have a job? Pretty much, yeah

Going anywhere this weekend? nope

What does it mean when you're being quiet? it can be different..sometimes im quiet bc im depressed, sad and tired and sometimes its because im busy

Last person you had a face-to-face conversation with? My mom.

How late did you stay up last night? I think 2 am

How many times have you been in love? never

How many years older than you would you date someone? It depends, maybe 10?

What was the last thing you pinky swore on? Idk

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? Like 8

About how old was the last person that hit on you? I i think 25-28?

What color are your headphones? white

Is the fan on? Nope

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? nope. I used to do these all the time, then stopped and just began to do them again lol

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? Yes of course, then I need the story lmao

Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? dominant..hehe

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? Yep. i think

[TW: EATING DISORDER] Do you eat a lot of food? Not really? Like sometimes I have days where I eat more than I should, but on average nah.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? not rly.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? yes and hated it.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? Not a new born

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? a few weeks ago but ot was platonic

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? The Lion King. <- me too!! or Encanto

Which room of your house/apartment do you spend the most time in? my office or bedroom

Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Bumble Bees

Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? Not rly

Is there a place that you might call your second home? Nope

Is there a piece of jewelry that you feel naked without? No

What’s the sweetest thing someone’s done for you? My friend bought me flowers on Valentines day. she doesnt even live in the same country.

Which wild animals are a common sight in your area? Birds, squirrels, coyotes, bunnies, wild cats sometimes

Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? no lol

What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you? dental work

Do you wish people would forgive you for your past so you could move on? Yeah but I feel like I need to forgive myself and others more

Who was your first roommate? my ex boyfriend

Do you have a sibling who looks like you? my sister looks nothing like me but sometimes we have certain qualities

[TW: CHILD/PREGNANCY LOSS] Name three women you know who have lost a child. Sasha, Micha, and my Grandma

Which nationalities have you been told you look like? (i.e., Asian, Irish) I get told I look Hispanic but I dont see it 😭

What book are you currently reading? nothing i need to read again

Have you ever received any scary, threatening messages on social media? Yes.

Who was your first kiss? brandon

Who are three of your favorite YouTubers to watch? Game Grumps, kurtis conner, safiya nygaard

What do you miss about high school? seeing friends every day

What color was your first car? white

What color was the house you grew up in? it’s this teal blue colour

Growing up, what floor was your bedroom on? top floor until i was 12 then basement

Does your bedroom have carpet? Yeah.

What are the top three travel destinations on your bucket list? Iceland, new york, italy

Do you get heartburn? I occasionally get it

What are three things you are known for on social media? graphic design , stan acc and traumacore

What is your Instagram account name?

Have you ever used Snapchat? yes but only for pics

Did you want to be famous when you were younger? yes

First celebrity you were obsessed with? joe jonas lol.

First celebrity crush? joe jonas ☹️

What was something unique about you as a kid?

nothing !!

Were you ever goth/emo? yes but not fully bc my parents wouldn’t let me lol

Do you want any more piercings? yus

[transenbyconfessions]

I am so confused by everything

Gender has always been a meaningless concept to me. All my life, i could never understand why the words "man" and "woman" meant so much to people. My sister gets upset like crazy if you tell her she's not a real girl for any reason (she's cis but not typically "feminine"), while I'm just here like whatever. People have told me that a lot, I never cared. Some people have taken me for a guy online when I had no mic on, I play and roleplay any character gender, too. I even have a trans guy character and I think that playing a trans girl would actually be harder for me. Because I have no clue what being a girl is. it's just a word, right ? Idk anymore. The thing is, I don't really experience dysphoria. I got hugely disgusted when I found out all the details about menstrual cycles other that periods and I'm still fighting to get that info out of my head, but I put that on my control freak kinda personality because i hate the idea that my body could influence my emotion and thinking or anything really. But I don't really experience euphoria either ? Like people can call me whatever and I don't care, it's not gonna make me feel good in my skin or whatever. Ok no I really dislike being called a woman expecially, but girl is fine, and I don't mind gendered language being directed towards me. I don't really know what I am, I've looked up a lot of labels and none of them seem to fit. I guess unlabeled would be the way to go but that doesn't really feel like me either. I know I was kinda happy when I found a guy character with the same name as me, because that means it was kinda gender-neutral in some way. Also my mom literaly asked me if I was a trans guy once so I guess I don't give a lot of girl vibes lol Gender is too hard a concept for me to wrap my head around. I just wish it didn't exist. I wish I could just be a person and not have to think about it, but I feel like I have to be something so I just pick the easiest path I guess. But I don't know what I would do if I was given the opportunity to move somewhere no one knows me. Would I still be a girl ? Keep my name, my style, my attitude ? It's not like I'm overly gendered as a human being, and I'm aroace so potential partners are out of the way. But I don't feel like going through any kind of transition. But I'm also almost thirty and people are gonna stop refering to me as a girl at some point and start using woman instead and it already irks me so much. I don't know. I'm confused, and lost, and I'm autistic and I hate change so I want to stay a girl until I'm 100 years old and I don't want people to call me a woman because the word is making me feel gross but I don't want to be called a guy or a man either and I don't feel like any enby labels that exists I just want to be a person. I feel like every label has expectations and I can't fill them.

[cruelsister-moved2]

wanted to say something coherent about the way people on here treat lesbians but idk I just feel helpless. wish I could comfort myself by reasoning that this is just online bullshit but the worst thing is knowing that everywhere is like this. love us all

literally this exactly like Im so tired of articulating it I just want to melt into a miserable little puddle. I feel like I'm just repeating the same thing over n over n its not something I shouldve ever had to say in the first place.... its really so sad how at this point all most lesbians want is to be left alone. I've been to irl lgbt groups and it's the same, I don't know a lesbian who doesnt feel alienated and exhausted by them. and people have this idea of us as bitchy controlling separatists but in my experience most lesbians are constantly reaching out to other lgbt people and being rejected.

don't get me wrong I have other lgbt friends and mutual respect and compassion is not an inherent issue relating to anyone who doesnt have the exact same identity as u. but it's just really sad that neither me nor any of my lesbian friends have ever come across any "lgbt space" thats been welcoming to us & our lesbianism,online or off. i hate intra-community 'we only have ourselves' separatism and i really reject the idea that only other lesbians have my back but like. fml it is so sad how every single lesbian I talk to feels this way and it feels like largely people don't like...notice? or give a shit?

and when we react to all this in any way af all we're separatist incel gatekeeping closed minded dykes like... where is all this structural privilege i supposedly have where are all these lesbians who supposedly dominate the lgbt community? its really frustrating being told u have all this power and treated as though u do when it feels like a lesbian is like the most detestable concept ever to like 99% of the world lmao.

its all ridiculously reactionary to me that i wish people would just take a minute to ask themselves Why does it make them SOO deeply uncomfortable to see a single space or conversation or identity that has nothing to do with men that they have to try and find ways to force men into it. i have to interrogate my beliefs and reflexes all the time and it just hurtssss that people think we are so entitled and like mean for no reason when most lesbians are working so hard to accommodate other gbt people that it feels like we are about to explode.

how can you ask me to put aside all of my boundaries and trauma and sadness and then just completely refuse to even consider why you police lesbian's identities in a way you never do to gay men, why you assume we're hostile without ever meeting us and project imagined privilege onto us and refuse to call us the word we identify with and disrespect our history and pathologically try to force men on us in any way you can in a way you never EVER try to force women onto gay men.

why is it just us?? until you ask yourselves that im so done trying to sensitively push aside my own feelings leaving me feeling helpless like im no longer giving the time of day to people who make me defend my identity <3 if some1 just BEING a lesbian offends you then i straight up do not care like it's not my responsibility. die

[walker-lister]

Fic writer review

Tagged by @picnokinesis thank you Taka! 

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Twelve! (I’ll have to write another to make it 13 lol!)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

665,232

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Just the one that I’ve posted online- Doctor Who, and specifically Thirteen! 

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Rising Tides (270)- I’m incredibly touched this has the most kudos as this was the first that I put a lot of effort into, I had with my previous works but this one was longer and covered complex themes, so it’s very touching! 

2. Timeless (214)- This is the first fic I wrote! I remember doing it right after the series 12 finale as I was so compelled by the ending! I’m very pleased it’s been appreciated, a very kind way to be welcomed into the writing community!

3. On Hallowed Ground (127)- This one I also find so touching and I’m so pleased this many people enjoyed it as I became consumed by this and wrote it over 6 days so to know so many others also enjoyed something that quite literally consumed me and basically wrote itself is just fantastic! 

4. Ipseity (123)- I have a soft spot for this one, too, my first longer (ish) fic that I planned out and I’m really pleased people enjoyed it! I think it all started because I wanted to see 13 in a leather jacket and was very intrigued by the prospect of her having past lives she didn’t know about! 

5. Heaven Sent (110)- Ahh, I’m so happy this has made it to this list! I’m writing the final two chapters now and it’s been a passion project, my whole heart’s gone into it so to know this many have enjoyed thus far and we’ve still got a while to go (just coming up to halfway!) is really... ahh, I’m chuffed! 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Absolutely, they’re so precious to writers and I really appreciate people taking the time to leave one! Also, it’s nice to chat with your readers and it’s how I’ve made many friends! 

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm I had to think about this for a while, I don’t really think I’ve got any with an angsty ending, I think bittersweet might be the closest, in which case I’ll say ‘On Hallowed Ground’ as it’s angsty with the circumstances but also hopeful at the end.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, although sometimes my mind wanders over doing a Doctor Who/Merlin crossover fic, all for the bants of seeing those characters interact (Graham and Gauis immediate besties), but I don’t think I’ll ever write it!

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

I have not, which is nice! 

9. Do you write smut?

hahaha nope! I do include sexual themes in my work, but do that annoying thing where it cuts away before they get to the actual smut bit! I just can’t do it, it’d be terrible, although I know someone who wants me to ( @ivyinspace 😉)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Wait that happens? 

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Nope but if anyone wants to please don’t hesitate to get in touch!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have not, although had talks about it!

13. All time fav ship?

All time?! Gotta be the Titanic. Lmao no I’d say Thasmin, although I am partial to some Thoscei 

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever finish Cosmic Fireworks. I wish I’d left it as a one shot tbh but I don’t want to delete the second chapter off ao3. But I can’t see myself finishing it, I wasn’t into it as much as I am normally with my fics, but we’ll see, who knows, perhaps one day I’ll wake up with the inclination! 

15. Writing strengths?

*mind goes blank* 

ermm... I think I’m quite good at taking complex themes and exploring them well- I find that the pieces come together easily in my mind and (provided I write it all out and plan first) it’s like I can lay out a problem and carefully craft the solution. I suppose that might make me good at characterisation? I also think that I’m good at setting the scene and describing places maybe.  

16. Writing weaknesses?

I write way too much, I need to be more concise. Also I think I have a habit of needing my characters to show they’re good people, and that means sometimes my own voice carries over into theirs, and perhaps I could be better at exploring the complexities of characters, if that makes sense (something that goes beyond characterisation is what I mean, like maybe I’m making the point too hard sometimes). I also think that sometimes I need to chill- there doesn’t have to be a big point to scenes sometimes, no great narrative or thing to take away, sometimes it’s just the pleasure of reading something that’s important, even if it’s silly. 

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I wish I could speak another language, but alas I cannot, otherwise I would, but I would then put translation. 

18. First fandom you wrote for?

It was actually Merlin, I never published it online but it was when I was about 13/14 and first discovered fanfic and was a huge fan of Merlin I thought, ‘that sounds fun let’s do it’! I was already writing little silly stories anyway so it was like a whole new concept which also felt familiar, although they were awful so I’m glad they never went online! 

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Agh idk! In terms of a story I think is good quality and engaging, I’d say ‘On Hallowed Ground’ as it’s concise, the plot and emotions mix well, I think, and overall I’m really proud of it. But in terms of my favourite one to write, I’m not sure if I can pick one. I enjoy writing them all, although tbh with some there are chapters I just have to grit my teeth through to write (by my own fault because I make things way too complicated!), but enjoyment is what it’s about! But maybe I’d single out my aus because they’re more my own invention that the others, in particular Heaven Sent- so that and Rising Tides, final answer! (see, this is what I mean, I write too much jfc...)

This is open to anyone who wants to do it!! 😊

[belphegorbillickin]

Okay, but I can definitely imagine Barb/Dia doing that. It seems like quite a possibility. But wasn't dying mc's own fault though? Like,, Barbatos did warn,,, unless he knew this was gonna happen and mc was DUMB AND STUPID enough to show up to everyone like: "hi." and possibly be dumb enough to get killed. Idk lol I forgot this part.

But what you said about Beel, I really like that. I think you even mentioned belphie guilt tripping you in your yandere hcs, and trying to make you completely depend on him?? I like those possibilities. Mammon though,, too soft. Like you said, they've robbed him a lot. He could have had so much potential to be a dark character. Similarly Levi omg.

The brothers are the embodiments of the 7 deadly sins, yet, tbh, I haven't seen too much of this side of them. At least, not like how'd I expect. Leviathan, for eg. Envy. I don't recall seeing his sin playing out anywhere except in the TSL Quiz thingy. I mean, it's been toned down a lot for someone who's the literal embodiment is envy. Idk I just don't feel he's like that? As from what I found: Envy (Latin: invidia), like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. It can be described as a sad or resentful covetousness towards the traits or possessions of someone else. The struggle aroused by envy has three stages: during the first stage, the envious person attempts to lower another's reputation; in the middle stage, the envious person receives either "joy at another's misfortune"(if he succeeds in defaming the other person) or "grief at another's prosperity" (if he fails); the third stage is hatred because "sorrow causes hatred".[38]

Envy is said to be the motivation behind Cain murdering his brother, Abel, as Cain envied Abel because God favored Abel's sacrifice over Cain's.

They toned him down a little too much?? If this game has actually been inspired by demons and the 7 deadly sins, they could at least make them similar to the demons, at least in some way. I'm not that far into the game yet, but so far that I've played, I haven't seen much. As for a demon who is the embodiment of envy... I wish to see more. Levi is capable of A LOT.

Similarly, Satan. I sometimes wonder why is he even called the Avatar of Wrath when we hardly see it?? The only time I remember is him losing his calm during the whole body swap event. The fact Satan got mad at us refusing a pact actually made me think that he was the sin "wrath", but idk now. And the way it was said that "every smile is an act", I really like that concept too. But I don't think I've paid much attention to see where it played out. Sigh now Satan simps for cats like,,, please show me your dark/evil side sir.

The way you said Barb and Dia took part in a torture dungeon, I want to see more of that too. If they're demons, wouldn't they have caused SOME sort of bloodshed in a way? Especially if they're the strongest demons. Killing humans, eating them, or I even like to think doing the same to their own race. Torturing... Seems like something that every demon's blood would contain lmao, I'm not answering questions bye.

And I believe so too. The human seems like a pawn... I feel the demons would use humans for entertainment and their own purposes, while keeping up the facade of loving them. It's easy, since demons are manipulative. In that case, losing the human whether by their own hands or not would go like: "Oh well, that's unfortunate. Time for another human."

But if they REALLY did love you, I feel they'd still be manipulative. Like you said. Corrupting/spoiling the human so much to the point that they'd just HAVE to depend on them. I feel they'd also have yandere tendencies, or be "protective". Like, then I feel they really wouldn't want to let you go, despite knowing how much it can ruin your innocence.

I also don't like how everyone is after mc like "uwuwu master". The human is still a weakling despite having pacts, plus, the pacts aren't even demanding the human's soul or anything. I don't get why they let mc walk over them when they are CLEARLY much stronger? If I were a demon I'd do the opposite lmao. Making the human seem as if they are controlling me, but it's the opposite. I don't think a mere pact can change the fact that the demon's stronger,,, esp if the pact didn't demand the human's soul/life/whatever.

Also, thank you! Things got better for me :)) and also,

💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨

Ofc you don't have to do this, but I got this, and it really made me happy, so here ^^

Oh btw in lesson...56 I think?? Just gonna tag this as a spoiler, but where for whatever reason Satan was "Sully" and the angel Lucifer asked him whether he liked books, let me just say I haven't even played it that far yet, but Satan going, "...Every book here is precious."

TOUCHED ME SO BAD LIKE. I DON'T KNOW IT REALLY MADE ME SOFT LMAO HE'S JUST SO okay I'll stop 🏃– 🍹

It's been a while since I've thought in-depth about the whole time traveling thing tbh, but couldn't Barbatos generally see the outcomes of the world?

We went back because they wanted to know who opened it, but considering Diavolo's the ruler of hell who turned Lilith human and Barbatos is basically the ruler of time & practically the universe I believe they already knew Lilith did it since it had to be "blood related" basically.

Barbatos also knows he can stitch together timelines and get of "extra" MCs essentially, so I believe he'd take that into account. I'm not saying MC getting killed was 100% part of the plan, but that they didn't care of MC was traumatized because they knew they could bring them back if necessary.

Imo the real goal wasn't to find out who did it, but to avoid breaking the family's bonds and devotion to Diavolo. The way it worked out was incredibly convenient and "coincidentally" a huge upgrade for Diavolo that kept the status quo and made him look good (or at least better) to Belphie and Beel without making Lucifer choose.

We see that kind of repeat later when Diavolo withdraws from the play because he was worried Lucifer wouldn't be as loyal. That's also why Lucifer gets that warning from Barbatos.

I think a huge part of why Levi's characterization is like that is because not enough people like him enough to tolerate it tbh. Even Mammon and Lucifer stans complain about the other characters hogging screen time and a lot of them admit to feeling bad for other fans. Levi is pretty much always second to last popularity wise.

I think he'd actually be more liked if they focused more on the jealously instead of making almost every interaction otaku/Ruri-chan related, but it's a bit too late now. I really, really hate how they just pretend otaku culture always existed and that's all Levi ever was. Like at least make him have an obsessive personality and be hyperfixated on novels instead of talking manga in an era before Japan even existed. It's so unbelievably lazy and really takes me out of the story.

Another problem is we only really see him interact with family or people that could enact severe consequences like Diavolo & Barbatos or people protected by the exchange program. He never gets a chance to shine or be cunning. The closest we get is things like him purposefully trying to ruin Christmas for random people online in his Christmas card. I think if he genuinely got jealous of MC and some random demon he would summon lotan almost instantly.

It's especially painful knowing what we had & being so excited to get more only for all of that to get dropped.

In an early devilgram, Be You, Satan gets jealous and feels bad about not having much unique to him and Lucifer comforts him in his own way when the others make it worse. Mammon is the most empathetic though ofc. They also talk about horror movies and Mammon says he doesn't find them scary (& the way it's framed sounds honest, idk if it's a retcon or a lie,) and Satan says "I'm sure we've all witnessed plenty of real-life horrors worse than anything in the movies."

Then when Lucifer asks for a time when he was really angry Satan first casually then gleefully talks about torturing a family to death because a kid set him up to get scolded by their parents. Meanwhile the brothers act wary of him and worry about him getting out of control while Lucifer tells everyone to take cover for their own safety with a smile. Satan happily talks about them begging for their lives and says he wishes they saw it too.

Levi also says he hates hearing about people being happy, but likes hearing about the negative things. While Asmo and Mammon are freaking out he also calls Satan cool. Which shows at least a little bit of his envy for once. Satan also says just the aura of his rage is usually too much for humans which is also interesting.

But back to Diavolo and Barbatos, I don't hate how the whole torture thing isn't super open, it makes sense imo, but I would like to see hints of them hiding it. Especially if Satan or even attic Belphie was the one you could go to to learn more about it. If anyone would defy Diavolo for that it'd be them trying to bring Lucifer down with them, or even just Satan rewarding the hunt for knowledge and not understanding the human psyche fully.

Imagine if instead of a paper thin lie about being human we got a Belphie manipulating us by pretending he was locked up because he was against hurting humans and the whole exchange program was a scam? Or at least if he told us things no one else would about Diavolo that were true so we wouldn't trust him and etc. That's the angle I'm going with in my fanfiction at least, the original story is just so lazy and boring imo.

Yeah I'm not a huge fan of how they handled pacts either, especially considering they don't even get MC's soul. It's way too one-sided to the point where I don't believe someone like Satan would ever offer it, even if the first offer was a trick and he'd get your soul or something. I agree on the whole manipulation thing too, like how is it partnership if one side has complete control over the other?

Even just making it so that demons can fight against if they really don't want to do something like harming each other and having it corrupt MC would make it a million times better.

And that's so sweet, thank you! You've made my days a lot brighter too. Not much makes me happier than infodumping and complaining about Obey Me rn lol.

I really liked Satan's line there too, although I did wish he had more a reaction to everything tbh. That whole section felt a bit too easy imo though, like I kept waiting for it to all go to shit or something. I am glad they went back into more story-based chapters too. I hope they keep that trend and expand on it.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death  /  terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

[lunchador]

so when do we get the long post about your feelings about dragon age inquisition!!! i dunno if u wanna wait until dlc or not! i am i n t e r e s t e d (also its ok if u dont feel up to it im just!!!! again, interested in ur opinions/feelings)

kajsldkjf PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY DA FEELINGS ALL THE TIME and Inquisition was twice as long as the others so might as well do a word vomit now and I can always do another after the dlc (which several people have assured me are worth playing )

SO

Yeah so inquisition is long. I dislike open world games so a lot of the (super repetitive!!) side quests did grate on my nerves and that docks this game a few points but over all the LORE IS SO GOOD, and it tying in so many choices in from 1+2 is the greatest butterfly effect I ever experienced in video games. I thought telltale + Until dawn were fun for that but good LORD bioware has showed up all of those games and I am really stoked to try mass effect when its out later and play more bw games. I only played Anthem before this and that game seemed...idk, gutted against BW’s wishes.

ANYWAY

Yeah, I managed to go into the whole DA series knowing very, very little, despite how many artists I followed did fanart for it. Once I started playing, I added all the words I could think of to my blacklist but a lot of untagged stuff came through (fair, series is 10+ years old and inq is like what 4-5?). I allowed my friends to pressure me into playing an elf mage for the lore and to romance solas cuz they said he was as important to the story as alistair was. A lot of online followers said I should play how I wanted, which I def would recommend to anyone else, but honestly I can see where they came from and while he never would have been my first choice, I think he actually paired REALLY well with my Inq and how I was playing her. I put her as sensitive but trying to put her responsibility above herself, she was definitely the least funny of my 3 characters, but not incredibly serious. A bit reserved? Just more mature. She’s got faith but she didn’t think she was the chosen one but she’ll do her role the best of her ability. She makes hard decisions and then sobs her chest empty over them because how is one to ever feel like its the right one? I really like how the game lets you choose how you wanna approach the responsibility. Like i said, I wasn’t a reluctant chosen one, but she will do what she can. Versus my friend playing at the same time as me said he played as the second coming of jesus essentially lmfao Having so many characters come back for different roles was so GOOD!!! Like everyone told me Varric was in this one but were like ‘teehee you still cant romance him though’ but you how you play drastically changes your relationships with each person. Tons of characters I met I knew would be personal favorites but I ended up interacting way less because others were more fitting to my inquisitor. So i.e while I love Varric and would’ve smooched him a heartbeat with Hawke, I didn’t get that vibe with Clover. They were really good friends, he was a grounded friend with a sense of humor that was a good escape from everyone else and the ~inquisition~. At least, until the Beyond the Abyss quest. That obviously heavily fractured their friendship and hurt them both :( And i felt that for a long time, until the end. He looked tired. Poor guy is gonna be borderline dead in 4 at this point. But so many side characters you talk to coming back like Dagna and Samson??? Speaking of that quest, I got Stroud because, yeah...Alistair was dead for me and APPARENTLY IT COULD ALSO BE LOGHAIN??? If he stays a grey warden??  wish I did that so def would’ve preferred to save Hawke even if I think the wardens are more important as a concept but like.......i wanted to behead him, so....But yes even tiny details like..Varric wrote home to kirkwall to Carver for me because the rest of my family was dead and I never completed a full romance in 2 lkajslkdjf but the fact that changes based on your play through. BUT YEAH THE way this game weaves all your decisions in and how yeah, overall the story is the same but it makes it so personal to YOU and so different from everyone else ;w;

But I could see my Inq genuinely falling for Solas, and I see her best friends as Cassandra and Blackwall/Thom. Really close to Leliana and the Iron Bull as well. I just loved all their interactions. All the characters were so cool to get to know?? Like I thought I would’ve hated Cullen (hes a dick in O) and tbh I just got into the series as the VA was being a complete shit. But I liked him a lot!! I love the work buddies vibes between the Inq and the advisors. I thought I was going to love Sera!! And like, I did, but she hated my Inquisitor and their personalities clashed a lot. Shes the only one i didn’t get a cut scene for in the end :’) I loved coming back from story quests and having to take like 20 minutes to go around skyhold and make sure I talked to /everyone/ for their new dialogue. You genuinely feel connected to all these wonderful npcs ljkasljdf

I wanted to make Cassandra the new divine but I made leliana on accident and kinda dug it so I stuck with it. VARRIC IS THE NEW VISCOUNT??? h i l a r i o u s.

One of the things I loved the most in this game in particular, and while this is something in all of them it just really struck me in this one, was....everyone gave up so so much to devote themselves to the cause, y’know?? Like, it’s almost heartbreaking how much everyone loses and they’re still looking towards you with their belief and willingness to follow you to the end ;-;

The final fight almost felt, Idk, underwhelming? Dude dragons are way tougher than him asdkjhfkhjd. I even went up a difficulty in this game after feeling like I got the hang of the series. But at the same time, we just spend how many hours knocking down each and one of his advantages so fuck him lol.

But yeah there are so many things I wanted to do but I felt so worn out by mindless sidequests and story being level locked in comparison to the previous games. askdjhflkd

One of the things that blows my mind is so so many people were stoked i was playing DA and they couldn’t wait til I got to Inq, and so I find out most people I know only ever played Inquisition? TBH if I didn’t play O+2 I think I would’ve dropped inquisition and never finished it *shrug* all of the build up just means SO MUCH!!! Everyones argument seems to be the older games are ugly and yeah O has rough battle system but its easy to get over imo. Like, you need the chaos of 2 to get the real weight of the mage/templar stuff?? Theres so many characters and story and dialogue that go over your head without Origins?? Like yes inq can stand alone pretty well but, idk, I’m in love with this entire series and the world building and THE!! WAY!!! IT!!! ALL!!! CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!

I love how a quest can go differently by whos in your party, I love you can have more dialogue based on lore you’ve managed to pick up around, I love HOW COMPANIONS BICKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! The lore of these games are so good. It’s like playing an epic line of novels. It’s so immersive and I don’t think I’ve played too many games to this level.

I didn’t like the skill trees to being a mage in this one, Idk why. It wasn’t nearly as fun for me as 2, but then  again I really fucking liked being a force mage haha. I wanted to be a rogue to complete a diff class per game but everyone said mage brings a lot more interesting story/lore stuff so

but yeah I love having the full context now and seeing other peoples Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors and asking people how they played and how their options differed from mine and THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBLE DECISION TREES!!!!! No wonder the fans play over and over.

but yeah ultimately so much fucking happened?? I’m probably missing a lot of key points.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 4X19 Jump the Shark

Oh hey is this the illegitimate brother plotline

boy I love me some sweet sweet ANGST

whelp she's fucking dead

picture of JOHN?

Sam's peacefully brushing his teeth and Dean's Not a Morning Person

boy he's having a bad morning

to be fair, living out of the car is kinda not fun either

"I'm his son" Dean: I'm gonna fUCKING KIL-

he's..premed?

they're going to ruin his life too aren't they, Aren't The-

Dean is taking this really well

I mean he did get the brunt of John's Issues, so I get it, yike

ASDFPIHP them discussing their dad's ~sex life~ is very funny though

Dean was...preteen? when this kid was born? Sam was under ten definitely

Dean Please

No that's your Actual Brother guys PLEASE

hunting accident "ah fair enough"

"who is a nuclear family these days" FEELS SO LOADED

Dean...Dean please don't fUCKING KILL HIM DEAN

THE IMPALA NOOO

"he took you to a baseball game" IDSFHAPF

He's Trying not to CRY OH MY GOD NO WAIT

Sam resonates with the away from college thing oh NO

Dean is trying SO HARD not to snap

at least he's...trying..to keep adam out

corpse snatching => HEY LOOK IT's THE BONE STEALING WIT-

I think I need to stop being online jesus christ

the [both sigh] was so good

well...that's a lot of blood

How the hell do you break it to your illegitimate brother that you're ~technically Wanted by the FBI

at least he's not an idiot

HE'S SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN THEY ARE

I mean obligatory dead mom

"do i get a say in this?" "NO!"

no..no SAM DEAN HAS A POINT

Middle sibling + younger sibling gang up on elder

"have u thought about eternity" "bro i've literally been to hell Idk what to tell u"

Dean doing it solo but Sad is...:(

Oh he worked the old case, that's neat

"so it's over for you" welllllll

OO THE TRUCK SHOT WAS COOL

dean + long dark coat truthing tonight HE LOOKS G O O D

it wants revenge

YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR REVENGE BELA WAS R I G H T

and Adam Instantly wants revenge, you sir are definitely a Winchester

"it's life" WELL IT SHOULDn'T BE

the stupid isolationism I hate it

NO GO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE KRIPKE WHY

Sam's becoming his dad, and Dean isn't

...SAM WHAT THE FUCK

DAD MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT DO RIGHT BY YOU

HIS GODDAMN GRIEF SPIRAL GOT BOTH OF YOU

LET HIM BE NORMAL! HAPPY! IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW(NOT ALWAYS)(Also very close to the thing with zachariah in placement(eye emojis) BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE!

I do appreciate Dean Eldest Sibling'ed it up even if he didn't like the kid/was jealous. Goddammit I wish we got connection in this stupid show

I was expecting a jump scare but somehow the squish is worse

sOn oF aBitcH

Ah FUCK NOT ADAM TOO

I do like the little angel Icon though, that's what's Dean's way out

Ghouls is a racist term?what????

no john winchester was 100% a monster

ah it was their father

yada yada father killing circle idk

YAY! DEAN'S INGENUITY IS BACK!

Ghoul!mom is really really good. I liked Scared Adam better though

the slicing sam scene is BRUTAL jesus christ

So...John got his own son killed in the end...

SERIOUSLY HE WAS TERRIBLE

Dean JESUS CHRIST

awww caring Dean is nice

AWW HUNTER'S FUNERAL

"Adam's in a better place" :(

Dean tried to fit himself into the Dad box, Sam's actually him

"you take it any way you want" oh for FUC- HE- I-

he looked so Sad, so like...he's stopped idolizing him

jesus christ.

boy there's gonna be overlap ok here we go.

1. poor dean. Ok couple things: 1) he elder sibling'ed it SO HARd! he didn't even like Adam, but he still tried to keep him safe(I think). he gave him a hunter's funeral! I just. It was nice to see. It was also INCREDIBLY painful to hear the realization of "you were always like dad, I never could be" and the fact that he didn't even see it as a good thing anymore? fUCK man, that huRT me. Dean tried so hard to be something he wasn't, he got probably the brunt of the abuse(because he didn't measure up to that metric like Sam always would), and in the end all it got him was...just. so much pain. Like it felt like John left his Broken children behind to get a new one, and just turned them into his quest for revenge. It was SO So fucked

Hey actually speaking of

2. AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE BEING A HUNTER/JOHN? WHAT HTE FUCK?

YALL ALREADY MARTYRED HIM BUT UR MAKING HIM WORSE?

LIKE ok listen. John's kinda set up as the ideal of hunting. They martyred him! And I was halfway sold provided they didn't mention him again. Then! he did this thing where he abandoned his kids, seeing them only as tools to fulfill his quest for revenge, literally broke them(that too late thing+zachariah saying "it's in your blood" when really it was just trained from a young age), got a NEW family he treated a lot better. I just. I have...NO idea how I'm supposed to see him as a good guy here. Maybe I just kin Dean, or his plight is WAY more sympathetic(it is, Sam is kinda pissing me off), but John's just...coming off worse and worse and they KEEP doing it!

Also! this whole cycle of revenge thing! about how if you keep taking an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind! they barely escaped this time, and I think this was the second revenge plot that I can think of with MONSTERS alone! it was a BIG theme! Like!! hunting sucks! revenge makes you end up in worse places! it's like this one episode was made to show how SHIT hunting was!

wait who wrote this

Dabb+lofflin. The hunting sucks always comes from-

this GODDAMN INCONSISTE-

3. Fuck John Winchester

4. Individualism. Ok this is a big one. Alongside the whole revenge plot thing(which is BIG, and a hunting sucks), this one drove home the sheer individuality of hunting. But while some of the writers see that as Badass, this one made it seem lonely, and painful. Like the flip side to American Individualism is American Chronic Loneliness. I know this one was used to process the ennui of the post recession/post 9/11 time, and it's doing very well for that, but it kinda ends up like this show is EVERYONE'S therapy all at once! the gang's all here! and we're gonna traumatize you in the process as well.

EDIT: and yeah yeah yada yada american individualism is King and then so is it’s accompanying loneliness in the post 9/11 post war in iraq post recession world(we were not having fun in 08/09)

and I get that this show is the writer’s therapy and whatever

(I just thing this is phrased better)

5. bring him back. Connect! Look. I know it breaks the core ethos of this episode. But having Weird Esoteric Hunter siblings would have been SO FUNNY!

give me more sibling content! Sam+Adam teaming up against the Eldest Sibling Dean WAS SO FUNNY! I WANT MORE OF THAT

6. SAM WHAT THE FU-. Look. I hate John. I very much hate John. They set up the Sam/Dean dichotomy in regards to John first episode, and Sam acting more like an ass+like his dad is. Not making me like him. Also I feel like this was written to sympathize with Dean. Which makes the finale even more ironic, I feel.

7. Listen. Listen. One of you has to keep track of continuity. Like I know this becomes a WAY bigger problem later in the series, but if a certain writer wants to process/examine a certain part of the Life/Story(and they should, they set up a lot of interesting stuff), they have to keep track! Because then the show becomes everything all at once.

Like this show has ALREADY started feeling like fanfic of itself, where it just kinda does whatever it wants with its own concepts. And the concepts are GREAT! but you can TELL how inconsistent it is, even in the kripke era

like it ends up being Study of X, Riff on X! and I think that's where the inconsistency comes from. It's also why it's so fucking Excellent in places.

whelp this was a lot holy hell.

OH AND ONE MORE THING!

Bela didn't fit the narrative. That's why they didn't like her. I said at the beginning that an Int'l art thief does NOT fit the vibe of "grungy Angsty American Midwestern gothic" and I was right. With the lucifer story and the vibe she didn't fit, and so they just killed her as foreshadowing, and only used her like that. God I wish they'd riffed on her, especially because her callouts were all completely correct

we're Bela Salting again

listen she was preppy Jack Sparrow with some spiritualism, how dare you tell me not to like her.

[otakween]

07 Ghost - Supreme Sugar 1-5

So I bought a bunch of these like a dumbass, even though they’re all online here. I also made the stupid mistake of buying “volume 5″ which is actually just a reprint of volumes 1-3 so basically I bought volumes 1-3 individually and reprints lol. Whoops! Ah well, they’re still nice collector’s items. 

Vol. 1

-I knew these were done by the original mangaka team (that’s why I’m discussing them) but apparently there are guest artists here too. That’s really fun, I love seeing characters in other people’s art styles.

-Teito looks cute with the giant bishop hat on  

-Bahaha Burupya fuckin drowned. (Frau saved him tho). 

-Apparently animals hate Ayanami (except for leopards lol). Just the fact that he was on feeding duty to begin with is pretty hilarious (also, why does the military have flamingos and iguanas?)

-Ayanami said gay rights!! He supports Kuroyuri and Haruse’s love lol

-Okay, the nekomimi chapter felt like it was written by a 12 year old weeb circa 2004 (complete with crack plot line!) 

-Turned into a low-key yaoi at the end there which I didn’t really expect. I don’t really likes ships with Teito. He’s just too young and naive, it feels wrong :/

Vol. 2

-Bwahaha I dunno why but I think it’s really funny that the subtitle for this volume is “07-Ghost Fun Book.” It’s not a doujinshi, it’s a fun book :D

-Okay, a Doraemon parody was the last thing I expected. It’s a good thing I know the general premise of Doraemon or I’d be sooo confused lol

-”Drau” pulling the scythe out of his crotch pocket tho...

-Teito looks pretty good with glasses! It makes him feel like a completely different character tho

-I guess Doraemon has a sister (played by Lab in this) I was not aware of this (wait, why does a robot have a sister??) 

-Suddenly we get a brief Konatsu x Hyuuga scene at the end there. I think that’s a ship I can get behind 

-For some reason there’s a volume 1.5 and it comes after 2? IDK...

-Honestly I feel like I’m getting more enjoyment out of the gorgeous art pages than the comic pages. Kinda wish this was just an art book. 

Vol. 3

-For some reason volume 3 is the only one not printed on glossy paper. That kind of makes it charming in its own way tho

-Lol Frau’s a wine mom. Sounds about right

-I guess if I had to pick a Mom character that was closest to Frau in looks it would be Bakugo’s mom, nice and fiery (no pun intended)

-Pffft Hyuuga writing “Zehel” before he dies is a good gag. 

-Aw, that dream sequence at the end was really nice :’) You do get kind of sick of them hammering in the Mikage grief, but it is a huge turning point in Teito’s life so I’ll let it slide.

Vol. 4

-Okay, this one was too hard for me to read, flat out. There are no scanlations either. Something about poem writing and sticking something on Ayanami’s back? Why was Frau randomly a pizza guy at one point? -shrug- 

-At least I can appreciate the concept art. I liked the doodle of Konatsu eating calorie mate lol (very on brand) 

Vol. 5

-Okay, this one is also a Doraemon parody. I had trouble following it at first because I don’t know much about the Doraemon universe lol 

-Comic #1 is a bunch of random crack/gag comedy. This style of comedy is so uniquely Japanese I don’t even know how to categorize it (I guess there’s a lot of the boke/tsukkomi dynamic in there). I don’t know why Mikage was in a skirt?? 

-There’s a lot of concept art in this one that appears to be for the anime rather than the manga. Always nice to see some bonus, behind-the-scenes content

-Ayanami is apparently 6 ft. tall. I wonder if they get this specific about height/weight when designing characters for American cartoons...

-One of Hyuuga’s character notes is “likes katsudon.” Me tho. 

-Apparently Labrador is older than Castor and Frau!? Whaaa? That’s kinda unexpected. He definitely looks the most youthful.

-There’s a little short story in this one and my reading comprehension isn’t quite good enough to read something like that yet. I could tell it was Frau x Teito fluff tho. Teito asked Frau to snuggle with him at one point

---

Well, these were nice. Not a ton of substance to them but some nice bonus fun for super fans. I’m a little surprised the obsessive fans didn’t scanlate more of these back in the day, but at least that means I get to practice my Japanese! I wonder how many anime have official doujinshi?? It doesn’t seem super common but maybe I’m wrong.

[joyisntyoj]

04: LETTERS TO NOBODY OR MAYBE MAYARI

Seal stamps, stamps with whatever designs, papers and pens, stickers, pictures, dried flowers, heartwarming messages, and a lot more.

When was the last time you wrote something on a literal piece of paper for someone?

Have you ever personally given someone a handwritten letter or sent it from the post office?

Is writing a letter still a thing today, or you just use whatever app you have because what is the point if other ways are more convenient, right?

Maybe, you are more the vocal type of person and, you just say what you feel instead of writing it down?

Perhaps, you are none of the above because what is important is your presence in their lives and, that is more than enough?

Still, how lovely it is to keep something that has sentimental value. It unnecessarily means that you are hoarding something because what's to not treasure from precious memories in a small piece of paper in an envelope?

This story is for those who never get tired of expressing themselves in whatever form they know, but most especially to those who write.

May you never run out of papers, inks, and thoughts to compose. to more unforgotten memories preserved in letters.

^^^

To: Mayari.

How are you? I wish things were getting better, just like what I always pray. These days, sleeping at night suddenly became serene as well as waking up in the morning. Sometimes my days are dull and typical...I believe? But most of the time, it's either I'm feeling blue or extra sad, or was that the same? I kept on blaming the pandemic, but for real, I'm just a mess. Silent battles are truly tough. I wish I had the courage and strength just like yours. Be safe. Stay sane. I'm really trying my best to be legit all right.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Liway is the name, exhausted with life. Mayari, someone out there, maybe a supreme being or plausibly not always receives Liway's letters. Sometimes Liway writes 10 messages at once and sometimes none at all. Mayari is the only recipient of such letters that even Liway never knew they were received by the random recipient it thought was just nobody. It all genuinely started on having a recipient written on the "To:" part at the post office. Though seriously, it doesn't even have any home address. It's super weird that it's for Mayari and no address, and were received.

HOW?

^^^

To: Mayari.

The night has come. This time, it feels heavier than usual. Tears are suddenly falling. I noticed that an unwelcome visitor came. The familiar pain is hugging me again, so tight that breathing is getting harder. I hate everything. Yet, I came to realize a lot of things. Afterward, I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Am I getting crazy? Before I went to bed, at the dinner table, I felt uncomfortable with the conversation we had, my family, about myself back then. I really hate it when they keep on bringing up what happened in the past. I already moved on... I think... so can they stop mentioning those moments? Honestly, whenever anything from the past is introduced again and remembered, I tend to feel like it just happened yesterday. Everything is coming back so fresh and new; fun, pain, sweats, and tears. I hate it.

PS. Mayari, can you send me some courage? Preferably in capsules, So I can have it in my intakes and be sure I'll be really having it in my system literally.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Continues writing so many letters filled with how living is like. Liway felt tired and exhausted. A few days ago, it was super overwhelmed that crying is unavoidable. Then this morning, Ms. Walmy called for a little chat and checking up because it's never too bad to check up on somebody, most especially when you're a counselor. It's your job, so uh? Anyway, though Liway was out of focus on the call, it was able to be accomodating and warm in return. It reciprocated the thoughtfulness with a sweet smile.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey! Today I was mad because firsthand, I experienced that thing I usually hear from other people. The "don't-post-something-revealing-on-social-media-but-love-yourself-but-that's-not-appropriate". Well, I don't even know why I'm reacting super outrage towards it. Because knowing that my family is just concerned for me since the internet is frankly scary. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why? Maybe deciding to be confident on the internet is not necessary for them. But for me, it is! So how should I deal with this? A friend consoled me, and I feel better. Still tho, my mood is already ruined. Oh gosh.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

 Liway.

Welcoming a new week, the usual Liway is busy with the household chores. Some may find it stressful, but this one is pretty different. Scrubbing the floor, washing the dishes, brooming on the side. Later on, folding the clothes, fixing the bed, and a lot more things. It looks like it'll be tiring its body out until the nose bleeds, and passing out is the last resort to rest. How come it's easier to clean an actual mess than the one inside the head and heart?

^^^

To: Mayari.

Beloa visited me today. My childhood and the only friend left I have up to this day from elementary school. If you get what I mean? It's been a long time since we had a chat, especially that things are super complicated these days. She's doing really well, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm still amazed at how we manage to be friends because we both don't like each other to begin with. It's so funny that we even pulled each other's hair in the 4th grade while the class is taking the annual picture for the school year remembrance. What are the odds in this even, right? HAHAHA. Today was warm and bright.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Dates suddenly don't vary in these letters. Even the concept of time is somehow gone. What's important is regardless of not having these "important details" like the usual, Liway can keep up and be consistent in sending its letters. Liway never missed a chance to send a letter to the address less recipient, which left the post office staff to ponder with it. But as time goes by, Alle, the clerk, is no more surprised 'coz she's used to everything now. The envelopes unfailingly vanished the moment it was dropped inside the mailing box. Indeed, a magical mailbox.

^^^

To: Mayari.

I never knew how amazing pretending could be. You know that thing where someone usually says I'm okay, but really not? The inner saboteur that was triggered by their trauma is real-real-real. A car is useless when it's not moving if you wanted to travel to faraway places. Does that make sense?

PS. It sucks that our bathroom is the only "semi-safe space".

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Polar bears are really fascinating. They get to hibernate. Then, after the time being, back on hunting and living their lives. Ligaya was one of Liway's hero. A lot knew Ligaya for being a superhero, although she does not have that fantasy powers. Just like the polar bears, too, Ligaya has been hibernating for quite some time but kept on saying that she was not. Liway saw it all. Maybe a bear's hibernation is different from a human-being, hmm?

^^^

To: Mayari.

IDK what to say, but I just wanted to be consistent at the very least in sending you letters.

PS. The radio was broken, but in my head, it's working. It kept on playing nonstop music. Is this a poetic way of saying I'm overthinking things?

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari.

A lot happened lately. Somebody lost a precious one, and here I am, having a renaissance moment. It's a crazy ride, but for all it's worth, the pea has grown into a beautiful plant. Hope it made sense coz finally, everything is making sense to me now. Little by little, slowly and surely.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey!! I hope you are doing great!!! These days, everything felt surreal. I get to be active everywhere. It's draining, yet I feel so alive than ever. I had this thought that time is indeed just a concept, hmm? I mean, anytime is the right time to do what you want and whatever it is. Nothing is too late, most especially when it comes to growth. OH, being late in class still counts but FOR REAL RIP TO THE ONLINE CLASS SETUP -_-

PS. May we never run out of time to be the best versions of ourselves. LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. fck the situation, but SOON, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. SPEND FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. FEEL EVERYTHING.

PSS. May we leave this world with fewer regrets and more amazing memories.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Quite a lot of letters were already sent. The post office is getting more and more letters, as well as Mayari. Still, NO REPLY. Maybe some other, Liway will be able to hear Mayari's words.

^^^

To: Mayari.

*here's an envelope just in case you want to write me something*

With so much love annd kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

'Tis the season to be jolly. LOL Nah. Liway has been out for the past weeks. By out, means on a hibernation mode. A L O T R E A L L Y happened. It's hard to put it into words. I guess Liway will end these letter-sending shenanigans or just lazy and trying to give out some excuses //

^^^

To: Mayari. 

Ever since I was taught how to move around the kitchen, I've been assigned to be Mom's assistant while cooking for the feast every event/occasion we'll be celebrating. It's tiring but super fun. Getting your fingers bleed and while unaware is cool LOL~ 

PS. Why does it feel so good to overthink things while doing the dishes? What's with that scenario.........

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Tireless hands, heart, and mind with countless thoughts and feelings, papers, and pens everywhere—WRITING; it surely is one of the best ways to vent. Though letters can’t hug and wipe one's tears, witness waves of laughter, ease the pain, and such, the comfort from every word written is more than enough.

Suddenly time barge in and reminded me that this is enough. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR 2020...

A new chapter has arrived, and maybe it's time to move forward. Maybe this is where it all gonna stop for a while. I mean, writing is somehow tiring, literally. Probably, Mayari might reply with the number of letters sent anytime soon, so maybe waiting is all that needed.

No rush in moving on.

MAY YOU GET THE REPLY YOU LONG FOR SO LONG.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND HAVE COURAGE.

BE KIND ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Little did nobody know, Liway is writing a letter to her "ideal" self.

The letter-sending-to-nobody thingy of Liway is really mind-boggling, right?

Mayari is Liway. Liway is Mayari.

The things that Liway wanted to say but cannot articulate well were always sent to Mayari. Mayari is the version of Liway it wishes to become in the future. 

The weak Liway longs and hopes to have "that" someone by her side to look up to. That's why she always writes letters and keeps them in the memory box.

The post office thingy was actually her shared room at home: the table at the corner with no lights but so much mess. It's that post office.

It's pandemic, so how can a post office be open and how brave she is to go out, right?

That saying, "be the hero you wanted to have when you were little", is the best explanation of Liway's way of venting and expressing.

Nobody knows when Mayari will come to life because it's no certainty that we can be the ideal self we all wanted to happen. 

For now, Liway is fighting her battles and screaming louder to the universe,

UNTIL WHEN DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?

To be continued...

Happy New Year, Mayari. ✨💜

This is like an excerpt from my quarantine shenanigans for 2020 LOL.

[keepyourlife]

slalright so i got tagged in a lot of things recently and i figured i would put everything in one post instead of making a seperate post each (except for those with pictures.. gonna do those tomorrow!) thanks to @saekkos @rainbowrogers @florenepugh @tinanewt @oh-for-chuuyas-sake @tomhollandd for tagging me in things, i probably didn’t get all of them in here. ily all!! thank you so much!!

▸ Rules: Spell your url with song titles and tag 10 (some) people.

(feat. my inconsistent taste in music)

r - ...ready for it? by taylor swift a - algorithm by muse g - gods & monsters by lana del rey n - not afraid by eminem a - all along the watchtower by jimi hendrix r - rhiannon by fleetwood mac o - overkill by men at work e - enter sandman by metallica k - knockin' on heaven's door by bob dylan s - schrei nach liebe by die ärzte

quarantine asks

Where are you isolated? at home, my father’s place to be exact.

What are you currently reading or watching? • Reading: the Percy Jackson books & re-reading Agent of Asgard • Watching: a lot of Youtube videos, Terrace House 2019-2020 Part 3 & re-watching Ghibli films, planning to re-watch Miss Americana

If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time? My sister and I go on walks sometimes or play badminton on the street in front of our house.

Any fascinating concept you’re studying? No, not at all. I should be. I have exams in three weeks. (huge shoutout to German government rn for still making those happen lol)

What kind of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing? a LOT of gifmaking & some sketching

A song that resonates with your state of mind at the moment? Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift & Hatrið mun sigra by Hatari

Favourite impulsive/“bad” coping techniques? Staying up WAY too late, eating badly & then feeling bad about it/low-key hating myself for it.

Favourite healthy/“good” coping techniques? Playing badminton with my sister, generally spending a lot of time with her, talking to my brother on the phone.

rules: bold everything that applies to you & tag 10 people you’d like to get to know better.

A P P E A R A N C E

   I’m over 5′5″. I wear glasses/contacts. I have blonde hair. I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing. I have one or more piercings. I have at least one tattoo. I have blue/green eyes. I have dyed or highlighted my hair. I have gotten plastic surgery. I have or had braces. I sunburn easily. I have freckles. I paint my nails. I typically wear makeup. I don’t often smile. I am pleased with how I look. I prefer Nike to Adidas. I wear baseball hats backwards.

H O B B I E S  A N D  T A L E N T S

   I play a sport. I can play an instrument. I am artistic. I know more than one language. I have won a trophy in some sort of competition. I can cook or bake without a recipe. I know how to swim. I enjoy writing. I can do origami. I prefer movies to tv shows. I can execute a perfect somersault. I enjoy singing. I could survive in the wild on my own. I have read a new book series this year. I enjoy spending time with friends. I travel during school or work breaks. I can do a handstand

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

   I am in a relationship. I have been single for over a year. I have a crush. I have a best friend I have known for ten years. My parents are together. I have dated my best friend. I am adopted. My crush has confessed to me. I have a long distance relationship. I am an only child. I give advice to my friends. I have made an online friend. I met up with someone I have met online.

A E S T H E T I C S

  I have heard the ocean in a conch shell. I have watched the sunrise. I enjoy rainy days. I have slept under the stars. I meditate outside. The sound of chirping calms me. I enjoy the smell of the beach. I know what snow tastes like. I listen to music to fall asleep. I enjoy thunderstorms. I enjoy cloud watching. I have attended a bonfire. I pay close attention to colors. I find mystery in the ocean. I enjoy hiking on nature paths. Autumn is my favorite season.

M I S C E L L A N E O U S

   I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle. I am the mom friend. I live by a certain quote. I like the smell of sharpies. I am involved in extracurricular activities. I enjoy Mexican food. I can drive a stick-shift. (duh) I believe in true love. I make up scenarios to fall asleep. I sing in the shower. I wish I lived in a video game. I have a canopy above my bed. I am multiracial. I am a redhead. I own at least three dogs.

i am tagging some people for these, or idk just one of them. if you want to do them, go ahead. if you did them before and i did not see, then i am so sorry if this is annoying

also i want to tag some new mutuals!! (and one i always tag cause i can)

@3rdgymbros @slythelrin @jedirey @skywaelker @grayson-dick @carolthor @delacourr @merldruck @aliciavilkander @gomez-michelle @tonyrights @ratboyloki

[ljpwrites]

Let’s Talk Candles

Ok, so real talk, one of the things I love the most about working from home is lighting candles while I work. Sometimes I even wonder how I worked without them before.

It’s not like a particular scent is inspiring, it just makes me feel grounded. It’s nice to have a nice scent around.

Emphasis on nice.

I’ve been through a bit of a candle ... journey the past three months.

When we moved, I got my own office with a door that shuts, so I can burn whatever I want for hours on end (even nag champa!) without my fiancee complaining/getting a headache/etc.

But I’ve had a hard time settling on a scent I love.

No, Seriously

So, first up: Is something wrong with my nose? Or do candles just smell DIFFERENT when they’re burned than they do in the store? Is it the store-y smell around me influencing me? I can’t tell anymore. I’ve been down the rabbit hole. Someone help set me straight here.

TSwift

I started with the obvious: buying the status candle that I read four years ago Taylor Swift loves. It came packaged beautifully, bravo. I saved the box, it was so cool.

Couple of things: I had to rip off the ball of wick that it left behind, otherwise it would create a huge flame. At one point, this cracked the glass. Also, the scent was nice and earthy, but ... I think better for maybe a NYC apartment. It got to be overpowering if I left it on for too long. And it was strong. Also, HOLY SHIT was that A LOT OF MONEY to spend ON A CANDLE (like, “don’t tell the fiance precise numbers” money) and it burnt through QUICKLY. A bit disappointing, so while I liked the scent generally for day-to-day, it’s hard to justify the price point for as much as I’ll be (literally) burning through them.

I wish some of these companies had small votives so you could at least try them before you shell out $Ouchies money.

Homesick, Bad Wick.

Homesick candles seemed to be everywhere in my feed for a while. The concept is cool: familiar scents. Since I’ve lived in 5+ states, I’m down for all of them.

My fiance bought me the Library one for my birthday, and, while the smell is fine, it’s a hot mess of a candle. It comes in white wax, but the wick crumbles into it, so you end up with this sludgey grey color that reminds me of that ugly February winter slush mess that makes me hate Feb - spring. Not a great scene. It’s also a STRONG scent, so on the one hand you get more bang for your buck since it doesn’t burn through as quickly as some pricier models. But then ... you have this candle forever. So you better like it. 

By Any Other Name ... You’d be Baby Powder?

Moving on from that one, I thought, OK, I ADORE the Rose scented candle from Root (not the one they sell online.) But I only have the votive sized ones from my previous town’s bookstore :( So I ordered the Chesapeake Bay “Stillness and Purity.” WHY - why - does every “rose” candle end up smelling like old-lady baby powder? It gives me a headache, and I can’t.

I also bought a candle from a local furniture store which I like the smell of, but it smells like women’s cologne. Yes, that ... cologne-y smell, just in more light and floral scents than Department Store Men’s Cologne.

Target FTW As Usual

There’s also the Project 62 candles I bought from Target (JOURNEY, people, JOURNEY! I warned you!) I LOVE the Jasmine and Ylang Ylang scent - I bought it in a diffuser for my office and generally that one has worked well for me. I wanted the Lavender & Eucalyptus candle to smell more like that smell when you walk into a nice spa, but it didn’t.

I also bought a “Burning Embers” scented candle, but

Megan Markle, Don’t Lead Me Astray

Still ... I’m searching. I haven’t settled into THE one. I am contemplating the Diptyque, finally. I’m worried about a Megan Markle inspired repeat of my TSwift experience (sheepish grin.)

Yankee (Doodle) Votive

Last night, I was waiting for my fiance in the grocery store and walked by their disconcertingly huge aisle of Yankee Candles. (I think they must have some kind of devil’s agreement with them. It’s bigger than the Bed Bath and Beyond one.) Then I noticed they had little baskets on the bottom shelf FULL of VOTIVES. $2/per. OK, maybe yes it’s Yankee Candle. But, it will always be available, it’s not ouchies money, etc. Most important, I was able to buy like 6 of them without feeling nauseous.

Funnily, the one I burned today was called “Sugar and Spice” (photo: Apple Cider Donut!) Maybe because it’s fall, and I need more coziness, it felt ... comforting. IDK. Is it my daily work candle? Perhaps, perhaps.

I have five more to go (not to mention the additional 15-20 “flavors” I didn’t buy. Cue manic laughter.)

THE JOURNEY CONTINUETH.

I’ll update you when/if I do find THE ONE :) And please, for the love of all things flamey and scented, please comment with your FAVORITE CANDLE. I need more inspo and better direction (obviously. Be my Marauder’s Map of Candling.)

xoxo

L

Photo by PJ Gal-Szabo on Unsplash

[eldritchsurveys]

996.

5k Survey LXVI

3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because: they're jealous of you? the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about? they don't understand you? >> It could be any of those reasons, sure, but sometimes it really is about you, lmao. Sometimes you really can straight-up do something that makes someone else royally pissed off at you and you can choose to take responsibility for it or not. 3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because: you're jealous of them? the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about? you don't understand them? >> I don’t hate anyone, per se, but there are people I’ve disliked for the first and third reasons (not too sure about the second, can’t think of any examples). I don’t make it their problem, though, because it obviously has more to do with me than them. 3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you? >> I don’t know. Gonna guess not, but it’s possible, I guess. 3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest? How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren't all good?/ >> Well, I don’t bother with considering myself “good” in the first place, so at least there’s that. Being aware of the defenses and rationalisations that the brain invents to protect itself helps to remind me that just because I see a situation one way doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person’s viewpoint (where I was in the wrong) is wrong either.  3355. How highly do you value innovation? >> I mean, not very? I like technology and shit but there are a lot of other things I wish society would focus on more intensely.

3356. Is there a name where all the people you've ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you've ever met had blue eyes)? >> I don’t know, I’ve never thought about this and it would take a lot of effort to try and think of a pattern like that right now. 3357. Are you focused more outward or inward? >> Inward. 3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone? >> Liebling is probably the most affectionate thing I’ve called someone. 3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey? >> The ratio of interesting to not-interesting questions is definitely skewing more towards the latter as it goes on. For me, at least. 3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person? >> I think of people on a case-by-case basis, and this isn’t a detailed enough example for me to make a judgement. 3361. Do you trust your own intuition? >> I don’t know if I have any. 3362. Finish the phrase... danger is the: just keep: never trust: the way I live my life: don't change: maybe someday: 3363. Would you rather live in Frodo's world or Harry Potter's? >> I find Tolkien’s realm far more interesting than Rowling’s. That isn’t to say I’d want to live there, though... well, maybe if I could be an elf... or a Maiar. IDK. 3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us? If yes in what form? >> I haven’t formed an opinion. I, personally, have had no encounters with the dead that I know of (aside from Inworlders, of course). 3365. Do you believe that those who haven't been born are with us? If yes, in what form? >> I’ve never even thought about this. That, I think, would make slightly less sense. 3366. Are you made of timid stuff? >> I don’t think so? 3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY? >> --- 3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? >> Short. 3369. Can you mashed potatoe? Can you do the twist? >> I can do the latter but not the former. 3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don't celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving? >> Sparrow and I go to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I’d be perfectly content to not celebrate it at all (except to watch the parade highlights online, I guess, because I do still have a soft spot for that stupid thing). 3371. What is your earliest memory? >> Mehhh. 3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test? What'd you get? What do you think of those things? >> I was given one as a child, but I was never told the results. Which is just as well, because I grew up to despise the entire concept anyway. 3373. How do you make 'fishcakes'? Put the potatoe in the fish... >> What? 3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned? >> I don’t care about “better”. I’m not familiar with The Damned (I know what they look like but not what they sound like), but I quite like The Offspring. 3375. Do you ever think about world destruction? >> Not really. 3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic? >> No????? 3377. Do you think we'll ever be replaced by robots? >> That’s a really absurd concept to me, if I’m honest. 3378. What do you feel a part of? >> Er. 3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe?? >> No, dude... 3380. What current band do you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative? >> Obviously my fave, Zeal & Ardor ~ 3381. Golf course, do you remember? >> What... 3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery? >> ... 3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away? >> ........ 3384. stool, ball, powder...Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three? >> No. 3385. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? >> Hm. 3386. Why are blondes considered 'dumb'? >> I don’t know how that got started, but you could always google it. 3387. What's more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity? >> Why would one be more important than the other? 3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of? >> ... 3389. What is jello made of? >> Bones. *shrug* idk, man. 3390. Pick a country: What do you believe is wrong with that country? >> Wow. 3391. Do you have strong opinions? >> Not usually. 3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions? >> If I manage to have an opinion about something, I don’t see why I would need to fight with anyone about it. If someone has an opposing opinion that makes me feel unsafe (you know, racist opinions, that sort of thing), then I make sure not to deal with those people. 3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration? If yes was it effective and in what ways? >> Yeah. I don’t know if it was effective or not, it was so long ago I don’t even remember what it was for. 3394. When people say, 'yeah it sucks but there's nothing I can do' do you believe them? >> I mean, yeah? A lot of things aren’t in the average person’s control. 3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place? Do you care? >> I’m not out to make this world a better place. Not to say that I want to actively make it worse, I just... am not focused on the world. I’m focused on my immediate life. 3396. Why is peace so important anyway? Why is freedom important? >> ... I mean......... 3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right? >> That’s not my point of view, no. 3398.Do you try to avoid anything involving work? >> Kind of, lmao. 3399. If you are not actively wrking to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren't you partially responsible for them? >> I don’t know, dude. Maybe I am. We’ll see how my points add up on Judgement Day, I guess. 3400. Are you in denial? >> About what?