#idk i’m in a weird mood tonight

[gregmarriage]

watching videos of myself as a child be like ‘baby girl, you are so autistic and you don’t even know.’

[ragingstillness]

Elliot had to shed some things to be ready to be with Olivia romantically. No, not his emotional baggage, trauma, anger issues, his kids or his wife. His hair. Elliot wasn’t worthy of her until the last hair fell. Now bald, he is free

[sapphosclown]

there’s something about the difference in sour ending with hope ur ok and guts ending in teenage dream. in sour she closes on a sweet note, closing up her chapter of sour and bitterness wishing people from her past her best, hoping that they’re all okay in the end. but in guts, she’s stuck in this gut wrenching feeling, this world encompassing feeling of what the fuck is the world what am i supposed to do i’m never going to be enough for them or myself, what if this is it for me?

sour was a bitter little breakup album, and while guts shares similar themes expressed in sour, it’s much more raw and tears into you in an uncomfortable way. its no longer just an odd flavor left in your mouth, but it’s taking over your whole insides and it’s just so much more intense than anything ever has been.

to end guts with such an honestly sad and almost hopeless song is so interesting to me. she sends us on this rollercoaster of emotions and we end on a low note. I think it honestly sums up teenage girlhoods transition into adult girlhood in such a specific way. Going from being 19 to 20 feels like you’re teetering on the precipice of something so terribly important that you can’t even comprehend it. But the truth is honestly that there’s no jump, there’s no fall, you step and the earth is still underneath you. But you don’t know that, all you know is what ifs. What if I’m the exception, what if i don’t get better, what if i get stuck living through pictures, what if I’ve hit my peak and i’ll forever crave to go back to it.

i’m not sure if i even came close to explaining any of my thoughts in a way that makes sense but nonetheless, i am excited to see how she grows and what she does in the future, and right now as a 19 year old girl turning 20 soon, i am going to sob and listen to teenage dream (and the rest of guts) on repeat.

[notimminent]

.

[victory-cookies]

I hate that my stupid ass went into this new job with the “yeah for work I’m cis” mindset bc that clearly not the vibe at this place (I have at least two nb coworkers. At least!) and while I don’t think I necessarily want the manager to be he or theying me (he’s a wet towel of a man) by god do I want the split dye mullet she/they to. and yet I am stuck painedly typing she/her at the end of my email signature bc that’s what I decided to do coming in!!

[kitttenteeth]

How r u kitty

bleh i destroyed my painting it was annoying me so bad But it’s okay it was good practice ig nd i have lots more ideas This one setback does not mean i’m a moron even tho it kinda feels like it BUT. it’s cool i will just do things differently next time ^__^ i’m just fhhdjsksksxskr Rn

[rosicheeks]

🍒

You’re just beautiful and authentically you.

send me a 🍒 if u would date me + a reason why?

[soupflowers]

sometimes i feel like i’m measuring the way others react, like… every good interaction is +2 hp points for our relationship, every bad interaction is -2. sometimes i look at others to try to mimic the ways that they’re genuine… because a lot of the time, even if i feel something or i want to show that i care, i don’t know how to correctly show it. sometimes i try to look at myself and my body from an outsider’s perspective to make sure i’m doing everything right, or to perceive how i come across to other people. it’s weird because i think that sometimes i’m too much and too loud and too casual and too awkward and too blunt, but at the same time i’m not outgoing enough or charismatic enough or just… idk. i don’t always feel like a real person.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my partner they need to be better at communicating during sex?

NSFW ask, but this has been an ongoing issue for a while and I’m very frustrated

My (19M) partner (21NB) is my first true sexual partner. They’ve been with other people in the past, some good experiences but mostly bad. I on the other hand have dated before and have had pseudo-sexual relationships (just touching) but my partner is the first person I’ve properly done the horizontal tango with

That being said, with my just-touching exes, we’ve always been extremely careful about communication in the moment. My most recent ex and I had the stoplight method even when we weren’t being kinky. It was reassuring to be able to check up on her and for her to be able to do the same. Maybe we were playing is too safe, idk, but that’s what I became comfortable with during sex

With my current partner, however, this has never been the case with their exes. I think I might be the first partner they’ve had that actually took time before making any sexual advances to ask them what they like and how I can make them happy because in the moment when I did, they looked confused.

Being horny young adults, we did eventually sleep together, and during the act, I realized that neither of us had checked in on the other outside of the initial “is this okay?” when removing clothes (I was the one who asked) so I slowed my roll and asked my partner if they were with me. They were not. They sputtered and said that I brought them out of the moment, and I became really really concerned that they had been disassociating the entire time because of previous sexual trauma. I told them I wanted to stop, they did not, so I rolled off and whispered into their ear while (and I apologize for not finding a better way to describe this without being overly graphic) I was straight jorkin’ em off. They were happy, they fell asleep, and I felt awful.

About half an hour later they kicked me out because their mom was coming home from a New Years Eve party (it was my 19th birthday which also hurt), but that’s not relevant, I just need the timeline in place.

We’ve done more sexual things since then and every time I try to check on them, they get weirded out. I stopped doing it in the moment so overtly and changed tactics to asking “what can I do for you” and “what do you need baby”, and this seems to get the job done. However, afterwards when I ask actually ask them how they were feeling, they would say that “the afterglow’s ruined” (which is wild because we’ve been together for six months and I’ve never finished -> I am a pre-op transman and my partner is AMAB, aka has told me that they don’t know what to do with my parts and once joked that sex would be easier if I had a dick, for context)

The last straw was tonight (March 4th) when they came over to my place and we started making out. I wasn’t really feeling it, so I tried to back off and shift to just lazy kisses, but my partner didn’t stop so I pulled away and said: “not tonight, baby”

They said: “if you weren’t in the mood, why did you kiss me?”

I said: “because I like kissing you?”

They said: “you should have told me you didn’t want to do anything. I don’t want to get the wrong idea.”

I said: “I’m sorry, I should have. I thought I wanted to, but I changed my mind. Can we go back to watching anime?”

They said yes and we watched another episode of a show (dungeon meshi!!) before I finally asked them why they don’t check in with me the way I do with them

They said: “I don’t like talking during sex. Ruins the vibe”

I said: “Okay, so can we find a system that lets the other know how we’re feeling when we don’t want to talk? Like how I use signs when I go nonverbal?”

They said: “I don’t see the point. If you don’t want to fuck, just push me off.”

I got mad and said: “What is wrong with you? I don’t want to push you off, I want to talk about it!”

They told me I was getting worked up and left. It’s been two hours and I feel like total shit for pushing the subject when they’ve expressed that they don’t like my expectations for sex. Am I too high maintenance?

TL;DR, I annoyed my partner by asking too many times for them to talk to me during sex, they got pissed and left my house. Atia for asking too many times?

What are these acronyms?

[dizscreams]

Could do a tara carpenter x fem reader

Tara keeps unknowingly friend-zoning r. R can’t take it anymore

*she feels her heart breaking every time tara is flirting with chad despite it being playful and them not having feeling for each other. R is being petty toward them and it makes tara wonder why her “friend” is mad about.*

She decide to move on and go on a date with someone *she is tired of trying and failing at giving hints to tara that she likes her* tara notice her on date with a person and gets a weird feeling even though she doesn’t know why she feeling like this since she assume r has feeling for chad

Mindy helps/spells it out to her very oblivious friends that r loves her *which make tara have a “oh s**t” moment* and have Mindy be her wingwoman to get the girl

Idk why I feel like tara has a naive side to her and I just see her not noticing that r has been giving hints and she doesn’t get until Mindy just blurts it out and she just like “oh? Oh. OH!😳”

I wanna ruin our friendship PT. 1 — Tara Carpenter ★

part two here!

PAIRING: Tara Carpenter x Fem!reader

SUMMARY: Tara can’t get a hint fr, reader gets hurt and Tara gets hurt, this fic is long I’m so sorry. BUT ITS FLUFF DONT WORRY And I suggest looking at the request I’m too lazy to rewrite a really summary

A/N: i love this idea sm 🤭

You sat across from Tara while she sat next to Chad. They were flirting again like they always were and you glared at Mindy and Anika from where you sat for giving you the confidence to come tonight.

The whole group had planned a dinner at a nice restaurant, and Danny was paying. The reason you hadn’t wanted to go was because you’ve had this enormous crush on your best friend, Tara, for ages now, but she never seemed to reciprocate your feelings. Her and Chad were always flirting when you guys were hanging out.

You had tried flirting with Tara like your friends told you but Tara just brushed you off! She was always friend zoning you, maybe you should get the hint. They like each other, right? They’ve got to. But then why was Tara always flirting with you when you guys were alone? It didn’t make any sense but you pushed your thoughts away and messed with the food in front of you as you listened to Tara and Chad’s conversation.

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Mhm”

That mixed with the laugh Tara let out, you wanted to puke. It wasn’t fair. Sometimes you thought Tara liked you but when Chad was there it was a different story, you just didn’t understand it. But you knew it was making you upset. Flirty comment after flirty comment you felt the grip on your fork get stronger.

How could she not know you liked her? You tried “putting yourself out there” like Mindy said, you tried giving her hints but nothing worked.

“Hey y/n, you okay?”

Snapping you out of your thoughts was Tara’s voice and that’s when you felt her hand on yours, trying to soothe you. “Yeah, I’m perfect,” you said giving her a sarcastic smile to which she furrowed her eyebrows at.

“What’s wrong? You don’t normally act like this.”

You scoff and what you wanted to say was, “Yeah sorry I’m not in the best mood when I’m seeing my crush and my best friends brother flirt with each other right in front of me” but you didn’t of course.

So you settled with, “I’m just not hungry, I guess.”

She wasn’t satisfied with that answer though.

“Cmon let’s talk outside.”

Before you could come up with an excuse Tara had made it to your side of the table and grabbed your hand, pulling you outside.

The cool air hit your face and Tara wasted no time in interrogating you. “What’s gotten into you?” She asked sounding concerned. “Nothing has gotten into me, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” you lied, “Why don’t you just go back to Chad?”

Tara was even more confused now. Why was one of her best friends upset with her? “Did I do something?” she asked. You shook your head, “No, I’m just gonna go home.”

You walked away, leaving Tara puzzled and a little hurt. She didn’t understand but you didn’t blame her, you didn’t understand yourself either. why were you pushing her away? why wont you just tell her? why are you so frustrated? Your thoughts raced as you walked back to your shared dorm you had with Mindy and Anika that luckily wasn’t too far of a walk and immediately jump on your bed. You begin to cry into your pillow as you thought of Tara and all the times you’ve tried flirting with her.

You two have always been close so physical touch wasn’t uncommon. You’d always hold hands or when you would have a movie night she’d lay on your shoulder and you’d have your arms around her. In high school when you guys had sleepovers you used to cuddle. One time when the group was hanging out for the night you two were alone and you almost kissed her, but Chad walked in.

You always compliment her, calling her cute or gorgeous. Pet names weren’t uncommon either, sometimes she’d greet you like, “y/n my love, you made it!”

The tears kept coming but you sat up and hugged your pillow and weakly attempted to wipe them away. Maybe it was time to move on, she was clearly interested in Chad more than you. It would hurt trying to move on, you feel like you’ve liked her forever, maybe you even loved her. But if the feelings weren’t reciprocated there was no point in trying anymore.

You looked at your phone and answered some texts from Anika before falling asleep.

It’s been a few days since the dinner and you’ve been avoiding Tara. You honestly didn’t really notice until Mindy told you Tara was worried about you. However, you didn’t want to worry about her right now since you were getting ready for a date. You picked a simple outfit, a cute black shirt with some lace on it and jeans that fit you good. This was going to get your mind off of everything.

You had met your date at a cute little restaurant and you were enjoying yourself. The person was kind and funny but you felt off at the same time. They were sweet sure but there was something missing. You knew you wanted Tara to be the one you were one a date with, but you couldn’t help how things turned out. This was supposed to be good for you, so you pushed your true feelings down.

Tara was out with Quinn walking down the streets of New York. Tara always preferred the city when it was dark, the lights were much prettier. “Hey can we go in here real quick? I just wanna grab a coffee then we can head home,” Quinn said pointing to a cutely lit restaurant with roses out front. Tara nodded, “Sure, I’ll get one too.”

They went inside and took in their surroundings, it was quite a pretty place. Tara figured it was new since she hadn’t seen it before. Tara told Quinn her order and headed to a little bar by a window while Quinn went in line. Tara looked at all the couples passing by the window and she started fantasizing about being in a cutesy romantic relationship like that.

She was about to put her headphones on until she heard something, or someone. She heard you, she heard your laugh and she quickly turned around only to have her heart slightly break at the sight. She saw you with someone else, on a date clearly. They were attractive and you looked happy. You looked beautiful too, you always did. She wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much but it did. It hurt, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

Quinn managed to get Tara out of her gaze by tapping her on the shoulder, “Tara, you there?”

She quipped her head to the red head, “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” she gave a sad smile and Quinn tilted her head unconvinced. “What were you looking at?” Quinn asks, concerned for her friend. “Uh, Y/n’s here. It just caught me off guard you know? Lets go,” Tara jumped out of her seat and walked out the door and Quinn quickly followed her but not before getting a good look at you and your date.

When they got to their apartment Mindy, Anika, Ethan, and Chad were already there along with Sam and Danny. Tara had given them a small wave when she walked in but immediately went to her room and shut the door. “What’s up with her?” Sam was the first to ask. Quinn sighed, “She saw y/n on a date at a cafe we went to. She’s pretty upset about it and I’m not sure why. I thought she liked Chad,” she said shrugging.

Chad had a confused expression and muttered a ‘What? Me?’ And Mindy rolled her eyes, “She doesn’t like Chad! God, nobody around here can catch a hint, I’ll talk to her,” she said and got up from her seat with Anika, while Anika let out a small snicker.

Mindy softly knocked on the door, “T? You in there?” She heard nothing but a muffled ‘Yeah!’ on the other side of the door allowing her to open it. “Quinn told me,” Mindy said sitting down on the mattress while Tara sat up groaning, “I don’t get it. I kinda thought she liked Chad-“

“Chad!” Mindy yelled at the girl, “What do you mean Chad?! What is it with everyone and Chad today?!”

“Well, at dinner the other night she was upset and she said something about me going back to Chad or something,” Tara mumbled.

Now it was Mindy’s turn to groan, “Tara, oh my god! She likes you, you big idiot! She’s like in love with you and she’s been sending all these signals and she’s been calling me nonstop about how you don’t get any of them! You’re always flirting with Chad!” Mindy rambled and Tara’s jaw was on the floor. You liked her? No, you loved her?! Since when? She’s liked you for so long and you thought she liked Chad? She can’t blame you cause she thought you liked Chad.

Tara looked at Mindy wide eyed and processed everything that was just said to her. “Wait y/n thought I liked Chad? I flirt with him as a joke.”

Mindy sighed, “Well tell y/n that. Do you like her back?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then tell her!” Mindy said standing and Tara shot up from her seat on the bed and grabbed her phone. She shooed Mindy out of her room and called you and prayed you’d answer. Lucky for her, you did, cause you missed her more then she knew. “Hello? Y/n? I’m coming to your dorm right now can you meet me there, it’s important.”

IM SORRY IT FEELS SO MEAN NOT ADDING THE CONFESSION BUT THIS SEEMED SO LONG I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO READ THAT MUCH 😭😭😭

[theplanetplu20]

Mary Jane (All night long)

pairing(s): larissa weems x reader

warning(s): nsfw, smut, praise kink maybe sorta

summary: smut inspired by the song mary jane (all night long) by mary j. blige

word count: 2.1k

A/N: honestly this is pretty vanilla but like really loving sex which is weird since i don’t usually read or write that but idk i just wanted it to be sweet and like just taking my time to appreciate this beautiful woman damn so idk how i feel about it but here’s the song if u wanna listen and pls lmk what u think :)

You sigh slightly annoyed. It's nearing 11pm and Larissa has still yet to come to bed. You know she often gets caught up in her work not paying attention to the time, but she needs to learn to stop overworking herself. Although I love how passionate she is about being the principal here, it's one of the many reasons I fell in love with her. What I need right now though is for her to be passionate about me, not silly paperwork. I swing my legs off the bed, shove my feet into my slippers and throw on my robe determined to get Larissa to leave the work till the morning. I shuffle out of the door of the attached living space and into her office seeing her exactly where I expected her to be. She doesn’t seem to notice I've entered the room so I make my way over to her desk and move to stand behind her.

“Rissa?” I say softly lifting my hands to rest on her arms then moving up to her shoulders to message them slowly. She groans clearly stiff from the stress of the hard day she’s had.

“Darling… I still have a lot of work I need to do.” she protests knowing what i’ve come for.

“Nothing i know you can’t do tomorrow” I say continuing to message the kinks out of her neck and upper back. She sinks into my touch a little before pulling away realizing she was getting distracted.

“No I have to get this done tonight I have a ton of meetings tomorrow” She says, rolling her shoulders back and attempting to get back to work. I quickly spin her chair around so she’s facing me

“Your first meeting isn’t until 12 pm because your 10am is canceled and you know I know this so don’t fight me honey” I say giving her a slightly pointed look so she knows i’m serious about not giving up.

ooh baby not tonight i don’t wanna fuss and fight i just wanna make it right

“common baby, you’ve had a hard day, don't you wanna come to bed with me” I say crawling into her lap trying my best to convince her. I feel her arms move around my waist and a smirk makes its way onto my face knowing I've won.

ooh, there’s work to do i wanna get real close to you i wanna get you in the mood

I grab her face lightly, pulling her face close to mine so that our lips are barely touching. I run my thumb over her cheek lovingly and I can tell she’s getting antsy from the anticipation. Her hands grip my waist harder and I pull her in for a crushing kiss not wanting to keep her waiting too long. She immediately opens her mouth for me to explore with my tongue. She moans loudly when I run my tongue along hers. Our lips fit together perfectly and every time we kiss I swear we kiss like it could be our last. I pulled back to suck on her bottom lip looking into her hooded eyes before letting it go. We sit there with me still in her lap breathing heavily for a minute while I admire my work of smearing her lipstick.

All the things you want to do

I bring my hands up to her hair slowly pulling out each bobby pin and messaging her scalp lightly as I go along letting her hair flow down her shoulders. She always looks so gorgeous with her hair down. I get up slowly off her lap and offer her hand. She immediately puts her hand in mine letting me pull her up into my waiting embrace. I run my hands under her button up to feel her skin on mine. I pull her down a little letting her know I want her to lean down and kiss me. This time our kiss is a lot slower. I take my time enjoying the way her lips feel on mine. I start pulling her towards the door to our living space, not breaking away from her. As soon as I get us through the door I start pulling away at her clothes, leaving her undergarments and throwing the rest across the room not caring where they end up. I back her up till she’s pressed up against our bedroom door and I finally break away to move down her neck trying my hardest to resist leaving marks where they are would be obviously visible. My leg finds its way between her thighs and she whimpers when the fabric of her underwear hits her clit just right. I feel her hands pulling face back up towards her so I let her guide my way back to her lips, her tongue immediately finding its way into my mouth as she grinds down on my thigh. She moans loudly into my mouth and I bring my hands to her hips to guide her movements to keep a consistent pace. When I feel her movement get more frantic and her breathing gets louder and more uneven I pull back not wanting her to cum just yet. She whimpers loudly at the loss of contact.

“shh, just relax and i’ll take care of you” I make sure i’m holding her tight and off of the door before opening it and making our way towards the bed. I push her lightly down onto it looking down into her eyes.

and anytime you want me

“back up honey” i say encouraging her to lay down on the bed to which she shuffled up so her head is near the headboard. I stay standing at the end of the bed admiring my beautiful goddess on our bed. I lean down to kiss her ankle and up her leg then back down to her other ankle to kiss back up her other leg before kissing right above her slit over her underwear making larissa breathe hitch. I make my way up her stomach towards her chest kissing as much open space as possible before sneaking my arms around her back to unclasp her bra, throwing it out of my way. I first cup her breast lightly running a thumb over her nipples before flicking them slightly causing her to jump a bit craving more. I lower my mouth onto her right nipple, taking it into my mouth, sucking and flicking it with my tongue, gaining beautiful moans in return. I move to the other one giving it equal attention. After I'm done fully appreciating her chest I kiss up her neck moving to look into her eyes.

i’m saying that i love you every day and i know that you love me, baby admit it

“i love you”

“i love you” we both whisper at the same time making us burst out giggling for a moment before we quiet down. It just feels like we’re the only two people on the earth right now. I crash my lips onto hers again, missing her mouth on mine.

I feel her hands tug on my shirt so I pull back to sit on her hips while I pull my shirt over head feeling her eyes on me the entire time. As soon as the fabric falls to the floor Larissa's hands move up my chest. I let her feel along my body as she pleases, content to entertain her for a moment before moving away to take off my pants and underwear. I look up and notice Larissa's annoyed expression at my absence switching to hunger at seeing my exposed body. I chuckle lightly.

“I'm back, don't worry love” I say crawling back on top of her to sit back on her hips again. She moans feeling some of the wetness from my cunt on her stomach and I roll my hips involuntarily trying to get some kind of friction. Her hands immediately made their way to my hips to aid my movements “So needy” I remarked, actually quite happy about this fact “before you were ready to ditch me for paperwork” I decided to tease her a bit about it. she whimpers and I know she’s soaking wet already. Her hands make their way up my thighs going to touch me but before they can make it I take her hands and push them back so that they’re trapped above her head. “how about you make it up to me and I'll make my angel cum so hard she sees white? hmm how does that sound?” she nods her head frantically, liking the idea. “words, honey. I wanna hear you”

“Yes, please” She says itching to touch me

“good girl” I say before grinding my hips down to meet my clit with the skin of her stomach. I let go of her arms and let her effortlessly flip us over so she’s now hovering over top of me. She leans in and kisses me sweetly before moving down down my body leaving soft red marks from her lipstick. She finally makes her way to where I need her most, leaving kisses along the insides of my thighs. I put my hands in her soft hair tugging lightly to move her closer to my core. “no teasing” I whine needing her fingers in me now. She moves so her lips are just ghosting over my clit when I suddenly feel her blow on my clit making me shiver and cry out desperately. Her lips suddenly wrap around my clit sucking lightly. I moan out loudly not being able to nor wanting to stifle the sound. My hips start involuntarily bucking up at her face. Her strong arms find their way to my thighs to force them down causing me to moan out louder. She brings a finger up to my entrance circling around it teasingly for a second before pushing two fingers deep in me. I grip her hair head causing Larissa to moan against my clit sending a shock wave through my body. My body can hardly take it anymore as my thighs shake and my eyes roll back into my head.

Give me all your love and don’t stop my love’s waiting when you reach the top

“Larissa! Fuck i’m gonna cum” Her fingers slow down their relentless thrusting as I ride out my orgasm eventually pulling out. I whine at the empty feeling. I open my eyes to look down at her just in time to see her pull her fingers into her mouth effectively cleaning them off. I watch her absolutely mesmerized before pulling her up by the neck to kiss me passionately. I taste myself on her tongue making me kiss her harder. We both pull away breathless. We both just stay there smiling at each other for a moment catching our breath enjoying each other's presence until I break the silence impatient to taste my wife. “Your turn” I grin widely at her “why don’t you sit on my face, pretty girl?” My hand comes up to rest on her hip rubbing the skin there before prompting her to climb up my body so that her pussy is resting just above my face.

Come into my bedroom, honey what i got will make you spend money (all night long)

I bring my hands up to her thighs pulling her closer to my face so that most of her weight is resting on me. I drag my tongue from her entrance to her clit flicking it lightly causing her to twitch on top of me. I flick at her clit a couple more times before sucking on it. I can hear Larissa's moans muffled by her thighs, spurring me on in my movements. I lick and suck at her clit while she grinds down on my tongue. I take one of the hands holding down Larissa's thighs and push two fingers deep into her cunt searching for that spot I know makes her scream. I curl my fingers expertly effectively drawing screams and moans out of Larissa's mouth. I felt her tighten around my fingers letting me know she was close to cumming. “Come for me angel” I say, having to pull away from her clit for a second before going right back to my movements. Larissa thighs tense around my head and I feel her cum start dripping down my hand so I pull away drinking every last drop she had to offer. She slumps down exhausted, my hands being the only thing holding her up. After a minute of regulating her breathing she moved down to cuddle into my side.

“Do you need anything, my love?” I ask her to softly brushing the hair out of her face.

“No, that's okay darling. I'm perfectly content right now, i just want cuddles” She replies, nuzzling her face into my skin.

“Well that i can do” I hug her tightly and pull the sheet over us. I press a kiss to her temple and cuddle in closer.

[ticklishfiend]

um long irl tickle story because i’m tweaking out rn 😀

so i’ve got this friend who is also not Just A Friend and it’s complicated LMFAO anyways, we’ve done kink play stuff before so we know everything each other is into. obviously this means they know i’m real big into tickling fjskjf (which no, is not purely sexual for me lol. neither of us are very sexual people, kink isn’t always abt sex and i think more people in this community need that to register in their brains LOL)

ANYWAYYS so i dont think they know Just how into it i am, like they dont even know abt this blog but im slowly working up the courage to tell them abt it bc i know they wouldnt be weirded out (im just shy LOL). so bc they dont rlly know how big of a thing this is for me, they’ve never Really tickled me before.

now, i’ve tickled them. plenty actually lol. it’s super fun and i love tickling them sosososo much bc they’re reactions are so cute and they’re really good at holding still lol. but anytime they’ve tickled me, it’s mainly just like a poke here or a squeeze there, nothing for real yknow.

which is like. it’s fine. but every time they do it i get skyrocketed into the biggest lee mood for like days on end and usually i get too embarrassed to tell them dhsjndjsg

but the other day i actually decided to tell them how much it affected me. we had both spent the night at a friends house, and at every sleepover when its time for bed, our other friend goes to her room and then its just the two of us alone in the living room. we were high the other night and cuddling, and they kept teasing me by making claw hands and wiggling their fingers at me (i’ve told them before it flusters me So Bad when they do it and now they’re just relentless with it 😭😭), they poked me a few times like usual but also kept quickly skittering their fingers on my foot which they’ve never done before and dhsjjdjdf i was too high i was losing my mind

so that was it, but the next day when i got home i texted them telling them they were so evil for that bc now im feeling crazy. they found that hilarious and teased me abt it for a minute 😭 so i thought that was the end of it bc they rarely tease me too much (im mainly the dom in our relationship so i can understand why lol)

but then. but then.

my friend group went hiking all day today, so when we got back to my friends house we were pretty beat. me and my friend were cuddling on the couch watching tv, but they just kept. poking. me. i felt crazy LMFAO

so ofc bc im me, i was tickling back! i’m more deliberate with my tickles, so i kept squeezing their side and poking places i know they’re ticklish at. they ofc kept making wiggly hands at me, but atp im like so lee and it’s not enough 😭

so. i called them a coward! (teasingly, ofc). i didn’t get specific cause our other friends were right there and id rather they not know abt it LMAO but this main friend knew what i was talking about. they were playing all offended, trying to defend themselves, but they kept not actually tickling me so ofc i kept calling them a coward hehehe

so later tonight once we were at our own houses, we text each other almost immediately. ofc because i was feeling super lee after all that i told them i was (playfully) mad at them for teasing me earlier

they started defending themself again saying they aren’t a coward, so i texted back with “always threatening but never actually does anything about it 🥱 coward behavior to me”

they texted back with “when i come over tmrrw its over. im gonna get you”

😨 WHAAAATRTSJS

AAAAHHHHHH

i was. freaking out LMFAOOO

they kept teasing me back and forth about it and i am STILL losing my mind and that was hours ago 😭😭

we’re hanging out tmrrw night and yall. yall idk if i can HANDLE ITFNFKD we’re spending the night like we always do so once we’re alone and ALSO HIGH AGAIN………bitch i can’t my stomach just turned a flip thinking about it omfg

anyways yeah sorry i know this was long but this little back and forth on “will they ever actually tickle me” has been going on for almost a YEAR now so im justifiably freaking out abt it LMFAOO

i’m also taking my driving test for my license tmrrw before we hang out so let’s hope i don’t start thinking abt tickles and crash the car 👍

[pedropascalsx]

the joel miller diaries; diary entry #43.

joel miller x f! reader

summary: you update your diary after a long day hiking with cramps.

warnings: brief mention of masturbation, some pining, angst, mention of arguments, mentions of periods, mentions of cramps, brief mention of forced reproduction.

rating: mature.

word count: 950.

a/n: no physical description for reader. idk what this is. i’ll make this occasionally. it’s fun to write sometimes.

It’s one of those days, everything has feeling, and the only thing worth craving is numbness.

My body is betraying me, it’s punishing me for not giving it a child. The cramps are unbearable, and I feel dirty no matter how many times I scrub myself clean. Well the best I can, when he lets us stop.

We haven’t really stopped moving in days, and when we do it’s to sleep or eat and he’s clearly unhappy that I keep drifting off to find somewhere to wash myself. It feels like a sick joke that my body is doing this to me… I’ve heard that some people don’t menstruate anymore, that the living conditions, lack of decent nutrients and just poor health have made their bodies stop their cycles.

But it’s like clockwork for me, no respite, the second week of every month it comes. I heard someone tell Joel that people are hunting down those who can still reproduce; see if a new generation is immune to the hell we live in. I doubt it. I don’t know if it’s true, but he didn’t let us stop walking for days after hearing that. We walked and walked until the only thing that surrounded us was the wind and the cold hard ground we were walking on.

I think it frightened him, he doesn’t ask too many questions, but I think he worries for the girl now. Even more so than before. Me? Maybe not so much. But I think if they came for us, he’d protect us both.

*

We walked until she threw a tantrum, they argued and then they both sulked. He reluctantly let us find shelter and mumbled angrily about her attitude and her lack of respect. She didn’t mince her words, nor did she mumble, she called him some things that made him scowl harder than usual. And then he boiled some water and dumped in a bunch of rice. She was less miserable with some food in her tummy and so was he. She fell asleep with her head resting against my shoulder. I let her stay like that for a bit longer than he liked, but she rarely lets anyone provide her with comfort and it was just nice to give her a cuddle for a change.

We’re spending tonight in a cottage, abandoned of course, I can’t imagine who lived in this place before it all started. It’s the middle of nowhere and the wind makes the whole structure shake. It feels like one particularly strong gust would just blow the whole thing away.

But still it’s safe. It was empty and Joel was able to push a bookcase in front of the door… not that anyone would be disturbing us here.

She’s sleeping in the bedroom, all sprawled out and hopefully dreaming of nice things. She usually wakes in a good mood after sleeping on something that isn’t just solid ground, so I'm hopeful tomorrow will be less stressful.

Joel will sleep on the ratty sofa and I’ll take the floor. Which I don’t mind. The cramps aren’t easing up and I don’t want to disturb him by making the springs creek everytime I attempt to find a comfortable position. One I’m doubtful I’ll find.

He's reading a book right now, something he picked up off of the bookshelf and just threw himself into. It would have been nice to have talked today, I needed my voice to be heard, but I am not in the business of risking this. I don’t know how long he’ll deal with a straggler. God, if it wasn’t for Ellie, I’d still be stuck by myself… or I'd be dead or even worse. I could be holed up in some sick factory in which I’m forced to procreate with a stranger. Forced to give up something that is not for the taking and have my whole sense of self worth be evaluated on just how fertile I am. Not that I have a lot of self worth these days.

*

I kind of like the way he snores… is that weird? It’s oddly comforting. I think it’s really because I don’t like the silence. I was alone for longer than I can calculate and silence just reminds me of the hell I was living. Things are better now though. I think.

The cramping on the other hand… I want to cry out. I want my pain to be known because I’ve convinced myself that it will make it better. It won’t. But it would be nice to give into one of the two urges that are violently racking my body right now.

Screaming out loud in pain or pleasure. I learned that touching myself there helps when the pain is particularly bad. The rush of pleasure usually lingers long enough to help me sleep, but I’m not alone anymore. And I know what I'd think about. I know who I’d think about and I don’t think I’d be able to look him in the face tomorrow morning when he grumbles something to me about how a cup of coffee would fix everything right now.

Maybe there’s some instant coffee in the pantry, it wasn’t well stocked and I’m pretty sure most of what was left in there is bad. But instant coffee tends to last for years and years. I’ll search for some before he wakes up, when there’s enough light filtering through the windows to make it easier to see.

And for now, I’ll accept my fate. No sleep tonight. No relief tonight. But at least I have the sounds he unknowingly lets fill the air to keep my company.

And maybe tomorrow will be better.

[falloutjuli]

As promised an almost 900 words tiny excerpt from my Johnny x Reader fanfic that I’m Working on, featuring a very jealous Johnny and Reader and Diego being besties! (Because Diego and Reader are both kinda dummies) 

the whole thing is at 4k words now and still needs a bit of work but eh. Enjoy a teaser. Its gonne be mighty fine and Im editing it from Fem!Reader to GN!Reader because idk. Felt like it uwu. 

Anyways, enjoy the tiny teaser hehe.

----

And during the time you three lived together until now... You became good friends with Gyro and developed a crush on Johnny. Much to your dismay but it is what it is.

Checking your phone, you saw you almost had to leave so you checked yourself one last time in the mirror before you walked in the living room to get to your room. 

"Holy cow, Y/N! You look stunning!" Gyro commented, a big smile on his face. "Thank you, Gyro, didn't know you could be nice."

"Didn't know you could look like that." You rolled your eyes and entered your room to get your bag. 

You kinda had hoped Johnny would have said anything, but he kept quiet, much to your disappointment, but you couldn't change it. Yet it kinda hurt you, making you doubt for a second to actually wear the fancy clothes you picked out for tonight. 

Maybe you should cancel? He surely made a mistake asking you in the first place…No, you told yourself, you'd go out and enjoy yourself.

That was tonight’s goal. With bag and shoes now gathered you exited your room and tried to push away the looming stress and nervousness inside of you.

"I'll be gone then; I hope you two will have a great night too." You said and looked at the two horse lovers who were seated on the couch, playing games.

 "We'll be fine. Just remember, if he shows any red flags, or you get a weird feeling, call me and I'll come get ya!" Gyro said looking at you sternly. 

"Don't worry, as soon as he begins to resemble you, I'll give you a call." Gyro needed a second before he got what you were implying.

Johnny snickered along. 

"Well, I best be going then, until later!" And with that you left the room and consequently the apartment. "Man, you're really messing up your chance." "As if I ever had one." Johnny answered his friend and sounded defeated.  You stood outside the restaurant, nervous, unsure if he'd actually show up. 

"I hope you weren't waiting for too long, I'm sorry for my delay." A voice from behind you said and made you spin around, smiling once you saw him. Diego looked fine tonight, and you wondered how it came to be he asked you out of all people available to him. 

--

You were bored out of your mind. Gyro and Johnny had been out riding for like one and a half hour already and they were still nowhere to be seen. 

It wasn't their fault that you felt a little down today and therefore declined riding with either, so you didn't blame them. 

You weren't big into riding yourself but coming with them to the stables, seeing them in their element and with Slow Dancer and Valkyrie and sometimes riding with them was such a highlight.

You loved how Gyro kept talking to his little "bella" as if she was his girlfriend and you loved seeing Johnny being happy while he rode on Slow Dancer. 

But today... after your mood plummeted thanks to your feelings towards a certain blond rider, you rather sat in the shade near the stables and were on your phone. 

To your surprise, some strange legs entered your view and in front of you stood Diego Brando. 

You had heard of him, his reputation was that to thank for, and Johnny and Gyro had their run-ins with him and loved to rant about him.

 "Hey there." You said unsure of what exactly would happen now. You looked around and only spotted a girl with short pink hair nearby. 

"Yeah, hey. I wanted to ask if you'd like to go out sometime?" You sat there dumbfounded. 

A popular, good-looking guy, many girls surely would die for, just casually asked you out, without having ever spoken a word before. You blinked a couple of times. 

"Eh..." was All you could answer before you saw the chance this was. A date, with someone who seemed interested in you and might make you realize you never actually crushed on Johnny. 

"Sure. Why not." You said and Diego looked pleased. 

"May I have your phone to give you my number?" Slightly embarrassed you handed the man your phone who quickly typed something in with his none gloved hand. 

"There you go. Send me a message later yeah, love?" His British accent did make your knees a little weak.

Mindlessly you tugged a lose hair string behind your ear and looked at the newly made contact of "Diego 🦖" while said contact began striding back to his friend, who you assumed must be Hot Pants, the guys had also told you about her. 

Not too long after that, Johnny and Gyro were back too. 

"Did ya get bored waiting for us?" Gyro asked as he helped Johnny unmount. "A little."

"Your fault for not coming along. We found a real nice new path near a small river."

"I'll come along next time, then you can show me, yeah?" You answered Johnny and decided to keep the thing with Diego for yourself. 

You knew if you let them know now, they'd go on a rant of how horrible he is and how you should never even talk to him unless you want him to eat your firstborn or whatever.

They sure painted him like a horrible person but to you, Diego seemed a little charming almost.

----

[charmac]

wait what's going on with Rob and Charlie?

Honestly I don’t know 100% this is just what i saw:

During the after party of the live podcast they got into this weird fight that started with Rob called Charlie ‘conservative’ in his creative decisions. Charlie countered saying he just didn’t think they should do weird gimmicks and big events without an actual reason (ex. charlie wanted 1 ep in ireland and rob wanted a whole season)

They kinda just started digging at each other in terms of their creative processes when making episodes and how they don’t agree a lot of the time. Then they were going to play a song to end it and Charlie got up and left. He never said bye to the camera or anything, the show just kind of ended (It’s in style with the podcast but not with the live shows they’ve previously done so idk).

I’m like 6+ drinks deep (I was drinking in line with Charlie) so my account might be a little whack, but it was really odd.

The after show started with Charlie mentioning Rob’s pitches today in the S16 writers room were being shut down. I imagine some tension from that rolled into tonight. Rob was basically in a bitchy mood the whole time and the whole chat picked up on it quickly 😵‍💫

[girlvinland]

I watched Love Lies Bleeding tonight and I really liked it. I remember seeing a lot of stuff about people getting nauseous in the theater but I legitimately don’t know what part. I’m not sure if I’m just desensitized to movie gore or what, and tbh I didn’t even think there were a ton of scenes with gore, or at least…no more than your average horror movie. It didn’t linger on anything too long either. There was a vomiting scene that had some body horror, but even that looked really cgi and dreamlike so I genuinely don’t know. I just feel like there are movies out there that are way worse/more disturbing with that type of content, and I was nervous about it before going in because sometimes it does get to me a little. Not trying to me like “oh I am so brave, I can stomach so much” or whatever. Imo it wasn’t really that bad.

Anyway, it was really good and Katy O’Brien was hot. I’m not a Kristen Stewart fan and never really have been (I just find her boring/she does nothing for me), but I tolerated her long enough for the movie and thought it was all brutal in a “fun” way (idk it was over the top to an almost silly degree and sometimes I like that). Made me want to go to the gym again too lol since rn I’ve just been working out at home mostly. Also it was only like 1 hr 45 minutes which I’m thankful for bc I am not good at sitting for really long movies. I recommend watching it if you’re in the mood for muscles and wlw and violence.

The other movie I saw recently was Longlegs and I feel extremely apathetic about that one. Had some cool cinematography but idk the story was forgettable for me. The other thing is like, yeah I know it’s about a ~crazy~ serial killer, but it felt a little bit outdated with how it portrayed that in terms of like oh look at this crazy guy isn’t he soooo crazy and weird??? It felt like the punchline was mental illness, so again, meh. Was nice to see the girl from It Follows in another movie though.

In other news, I finished the book Earthlings, and now that was disturbing. I thought at some point it might get less disturbing, but it just progressively got more disturbing lol. The themes were really good though and I enjoyed the writing style. Now that I’ve finished that I’ve moved onto Count of Monte Cristo and have what I imagine is going to be a bad lesbian romance novel lined up for the one after.