#idk if I see them more as siblings or more as potential romantic partners tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aresrl · 3 years

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I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

#genshin request #genshin matchups #genshin #genshin impact

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amaikana · 4 years

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Rare TPN platonic dynamics that I crave

- Ray & Anna being siblings

That scene when Ray, Emma, Anna, and Hayato getting some meds for Christ at the factory farm (on their way to the Paradise Hideout) and Ray being gentle and reassuring to Anna along the way just made me go all “aww~” I know some people ship them together (and yes, they’re cute together) but I just think about this images of Ray constantly worrying over his little sister and being all worry about her boyfriends. Wouldn’t that be adorable?? We all know he’s a tsundere, lol. Also, I think Anna would just fit with him because she’s seemingly a timid type, but actually can be stubborn at times (like when she insisted to be allowed to join Ray & Emma to the factory farm). Idk, I just have all these scenarios about Anna and Ray having arguments but we all know Ray would definitely cave in because, you know, he’s an actually-a-softie-but-you-won’t-catch-him-dead-admiting-it kind of person XD

- Norman & Emma being best-friends

Like, okay, this is pretty much canon. But I see people (including me tbh) more often portraying them as each other’s love interest than addressing the other fact that they’ve been childhood best-friends for years. Also, I think many people forgot this, but Norman and Emma are canonically partner-in-crimes!! XD I mean, yes, the trio often being together for their daily adventures and such. But do all of you still remember that Emma & Norman used to team up to drag Ray to play together with them?? Btw remember that playing tag scene at episode 1?? The result might’ve been different if Ray had joined them, but at that time Emma & Norman were the ones left as the very last “survivors” of the game! I think I also remember some of the other kids noted that it’s almost always Emma vs Norman in the end! Come on, being the ones who can outplay everyone else and constantly being each other’s rival? That’s some epic friendship right there!

- Isabella being a Ratri

We’ve already got the smart Ratri brothers. Throw in a smart woman into the mix? Yes, we’ll got a powerful siblings trio B-)

- Gilda being Emma’s sister

I mean, yes, this one is pretty much canon too. But we need to talk more about Gilda being so worried over Emma at the 1st arc that Krone easily noticed it. Or about Gilda being worried again and scolded Emma at the Forest arc? Or about Gilda being worried AGAIN that he threatened Yuugo to blow up the whole shelter immediately after she saw the man carrying the injured Emma to the shelter?? Also, in another universe where everything’s fine and dandy, we’ll definitely have Gilda scare away any potential boyfriends who might hurt her sister. Yes, we stan our scary overprotective glasses friend.

- Hayato being Ray’s junior or something

And we’ll have the classic senpai-kouhai dynamic. Except it’s not the mainstream “Senpai Notice Me!” thing but instead it’s Hayato panicking over every single thing he’s worried he might do wrong and Ray exasperatedly either consoling or guiding Hayato to do things XD And yes, this is again, inspired by that scene when they infiltrated the factory farm to get some medicines.

- Hayato and Jin being best-friends

Like. ISN’T THIS ONE PRACTICALLY CANON?? Y’all, we might be sleeping on many canon dynamics more than we thought ._.

- Thoma and Lani being TWINS!!

Like. I really never see people talk about them and I really need more content about them >< Whether it’s platonic or romantic? I don’t really care tbh. I just need more of these two cause they’re so cute together, and they’re always seen being together, and Oh God. Imagine them being twins though!! Like, maybe not identical twins, but just- imagine these two constantly reading each other thoughts and finishing each other’s sentences?? I’d live for that.

#the promised neverland #yakusoku no neverland #ynn #tpn #tpn thoughts #tpn ramblings #I was tempted to add ray and emma being siblings here but #lets be honest that's a popular trope already

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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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idk if it’s spoiler. It shouldn’t be since it’s an interview but anyways. how do you feel abt tas*a’s words regarding bec*o. abt their “ first” fight and then “balancing each other”? I don’t know what to think since she seems to be not that trustworthy during interviews. But fight and balancing eo doesn’t make me think of a break up.So what do you think? i don’t want u to think im an hateful anon, it was just a thought. Feel free to not answer.

I want to answer and this is not hateful. I’m going to have to make judgment calls on what I think is a spoiler and what isn’t. And since his was an interview and NOT in Sanctum, I’m going to count it as safe.

So what do I think of Tasya’s interview?

First of all, I do not think of Tasya’s interviews as unreliable. They have helped me come to understand Echo’s character much better. Because as far as I can tell, Tasya basically only tells us ECHO’S point of view. Tasya is NOT analyzing the story for narrative or themes or endgame. She is ONLY talking about Echo. That’s how she goes into the script and the show, that’s what she’s asking the directors and JR about. ECHO. Echo’s character, echo’s motivation, echo’s story.

When people ask Tasya something, they might be asking to figure out the whole story, or their ship or whatever. But when she answers, she can only answer with what ECHO knows or would think about the question.

So when we ask about Bellamy, she’s not telling us what happens in the end, or what Bellamy thinks or how it affects Bellarke. She is ONLY speaking of Echo and what she feels.

This is an example of what I mean when I tell everyone to question the information they receive, on anything. Question the agenda of the speaker. Question their perspective. Where are they coming from? What do they know? What do they want?

TBH, Tasya has been very professional. She’s speaking to you as an actress who plays this character, who she’s been thinking about for years. If you want her to give you proof of Bellarke, either to confirm or destroy it, it’s you who is stepping out of line and asking her not only to reveal spoilers, but also to speak as an authority on a thing that is not her arena. She plays Echo. The story now has Echo with Bellamy. THAT’S what she can speak of. She’s not the showrunner who can tell us Echo’s fate. She’s not Pedowitz who can allow spoilers. She’s the actress who can tell you what Echo wants, feels or knows. And that’s ALL she’s telling us.

When she says Echo thinks Bellarke are like siblings, that’s telling us what ECHO feels, not what Bellamy or Clarke feel or what JR intends. And looking at the story that way, it is FAR more revealing to the state of B/E and the intentions of JR, and the way the narrative is proceeding than any other bit of evidence I’ve seen. Or, it makes sense of all that narrative evidence and gives motivation for her actions. It’s like the missing piece in what B/E actually is.

So if you look at Tasya’s comments from the close perspective of Echo, they ALL make sense. That’s why when I make my speculation about c/b/e, I feel like I know where Echo is going to go. Because I’m considering Echo’s canon and stated character, and evaluating how someone like that would act in various situations.

So what about her current comments. I like them. I like them for my c/b/e concerns.

They have an argument. Yes. That’s what I want. I want the feelings to get out. I want conflict. Different goals and focuses? Different moralities? Different ideas about how to move forward? How he feels about other characters? Yes.

We need to see conflict because Bellamy and Echo have some fundamental differences in character that were not apparent on the ring because there was no real conflict. They have not been tested as a couple. And now comes the test. I know what I think will happen, but Bellamy and Echo don’t. Depending upon what happens with Clarke, that will affect things. I think more importantly for b/e, how they deal with their concept of Being The Good Guy vs Doing What’s Best For Your People, is going to be the deciding factor. Because Bellamy is the good guy, and Echo is the assassin who will do bad things to protect her people. Bellamy has learned that is not who he wants to be. Echo has not.

As for the balance? This is their relationship. They are partners and family and they have developed an equilibrium over six years. Does that equilibrium last when they have new challenges? When the stable family of 7 people is added to or subtracted from? IDK. Maybe it only works in one way, not another.

I think fandom wants to think that if there is anything positive in B/E, then it means Bellarke is doomed. But that’s not how it works. B/E is a positive, healthy relationship that is there to show us that Bellamy has grown and healed and learned how to accept love, something he was unable to do when he was with Clarke before praimfaya. Not with Clarke, not with Octavia, not with Kane. And he struggled with the delinquents, too. He was growing, and learning to accept himself. He got a whole lesson from Jasper about it. B/E shows us that he achieved this healing. If Clarke had made it to the ring, for sure he would have shown his growth through a relationship with HER, but then we would have missed out entirely on the development of the central relationship of The 100 becoming romantic and that WOULD HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE.

If B/E was a horrible relationship, that would have meant that Bellamy wasn’t ready to be with Clarke yet. If Echo knew about how he felt about Bellamy, and had to deal with his love for a dead girl for 6 years, she would have a different reaction to Clarke’s reappearance and to Bellamy and their relationship. That she didn’t means B/E was a recent relationship and not settled. B/E OPENS THE DOOR to the Bellarke relationship.

I know when you ship a thing on a show, and when you fall in love in real life, you want to believe that THIS IS ENDGAME and will last forever, but the truth is that most relationships, even loving ones, end. The better they are, the more potential they have as a match, the more you learn from them. If Echo and Bellamy balance each other, that’s good. They have a healthy, working relationship.

But it doesn’t compare to what Clarke and Bellamy mean to each other. They don’t just balance each other. They center each other. They are the head to the other’s heart. They question each other. They believe in each other. They trust each other. They save each other and redeem each other. They are honest with each other. They are devoted to each other. They are soulmates.

B/E works. Bellarke is, however, destined to be together, and together they are stronger, better and bigger than they are alone.

I also don’t think Echo’s story this season will be about b/e at all. I think her narrative arc and character arc is about herself, her past, being the good guy, making choices for herself as an individual NOT as part of a tribe or even a family. Echo is a child slave who became a servant to the throne who became an exile, who became dependent upon an isolated family. Her self worth has ALWAYS been about serving other people, about being there for THEM. I think season 6 will be about Echo learning for the first time that she is more than just someone there to protect and serve, but a person on her own.

And if you look at the things Tasya says in interviews, that’s what she’s talking about, even when people ask shipping questions to figure out either B/E or Bellarke. Echo’s thoughts about b/e or bellarke are just thoughts. They aren’t telling you story, just where Echo’s head is at.

#the 100 #b/e #c/b/e #echo #tasya #i do not ship b/e but i see the value in that relationship and how it works in the story #it is absolutely a stepping stone for the endgame #so i'm here to make everyone angry blorke and b/e shippers both by neither hating nor thinking b/e is endgame #oh well #this is an instance where shipping mentality will get your analysis real messed up

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chaos-of-the-abyss · 6 years

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Manwë and Melkor Headcanons Part 1

Ah, these two have always had a special place in my Tolkien-loving heart. Typically we associate the concept "two halves of a whole" with romantic partners, but I think it's the perfect statement for Manwë and Melkor in this case. I don't ship these two (Manwë x Varda is probably my Silmarillion OTP), but their relationship, in my opinion, is beautifully tragic and I had to get these Manwë & Melkor emotions out.

So here we go.

Note: I apologize that there is quite a lot of Varda here as well (though this will not be a Melkor x Varda post by any means). Even if Melkor's feelings towards her weren't romantic/sexual, I still think her presence had some part in driving the wedge between these two (though that was the last thing she would have wanted imo).

Double Note (or something): I ended up splitting this into two parts because it turned out way longer than I intended. I just took off with these two XD The headcanons went from a few sentences to full-blown paragraphs. Tbh I think I went a little overboard; you might actually get some Manwë/Melkor vibes from this one. I’m currently not sure when the second part will be out. It probably won’t be as long this one, though.

Headcanons

1. Manwë and Melkor came into existence at the very same moment in time, the first two of the Ainur created by Eru. When they were snapped (blinked? activated? idk) into existence, the first thing they were aware of was each other. Then they both realized the presence of Eru, and loved Him as their father.

2. For a while, Manwë and Melkor only spent time with each other and of course, Eru. It wasn’t like they were avoiding any other interaction; they were simply the only two beings around.

3. The way I imagine these two, they didn't have older brother-younger brother. They were simply brothers (or twins, if you will).

4. Manwë was the better singer of the two, but Melkor didn’t mind. He was proud of Manwë's talent. Melkor had more of a passion to learn about and experiment with his own powers, though, while Manwë was content to take it slow.

5. They both enjoyed hearing each other sing and would sometimes sing together, in duets or separately, comparing notes (figuratively speaking), critiquing, and complimenting each other's ability.

6. Manwë and Melkor were prone to witty banter. They liked their playful verbal sparring and no feelings were hurt. At the end of their mock-arguing, they'd laugh together. Melkor was also keen to mock-insult his brother, but he was also very protective of Manwë. From the beginning Melkor felt that Manwë was always more idealistic than he was; he was a bit jaded from the start and wanted to protect what he perceived as naivety in his brother.

7. They rarely got into serious disagreements. If they did it would more often than not be Melkor's fault (either by insensitivity, stubbornness, or pride). During these times they'd separate and laze about by themselves, but it never lasted very long. They'd always apologize (Manwë first, mostly) and reconcile.

8. Melkor showed a few signs of being rebellious towards Eru in the beginning - just innocent comments that he didn't think much of. To him, what he said sounded like a good idea. He didn't mean any malice towards Eru - whom he loved as his father - he was just speaking his mind, but that mind would wander into some questionable places. Manwë wasn't alarmed. He would chastise his brother a little if Melkor went too far, but Manwë thought Melkor was just thinking out loud, so to speak. His faith in his brother was too strong for him to even imagine that Melkor would really rebel. They were brothers, right? Two halves of a whole, right? And they both loved their Father.

9. Both Manwë and Melkor remember these early days as the simplest time of their existence. There was no one but themselves, and both of them think back to these times a lot. Melkor knows those days will never return; the path he chose prevented that from being a possibility. Manwë knows those days will never return, too; he is King of Arda now and responsible for stopping Morgoth.

10. The first Ainur who the two brothers met that wasn't each other was Varda. The brothers were drifting through the Timeless Halls when they came across Varda, who was experimenting with the creation of the stars (she hadn't created them yet, but she was testing her powers).

11. Both Manwë and Melkor were fascinated. They'd never met the other gender; before Varda, they only knew each other and Eru. It also intrigued them that in Varda's face, the light of Eru shone, a trait unique to her. Before long, the three of them hit it off.

12. Manwë and Melkor agreed that Varda has the best singing voice among the Ainur. They were a harmonious trio for the longest time. When Manwë and Melkor argued and had their silent treatment stage with each other, Varda would talk to each of them individually and get their point of view. Then she'd explain to the other what his brother thought of the situation. Thanks to her peacemaking abilities, they would reconcile faster. Despite how close the triad got, Varda left Manwë and Melkor alone at times; especially when she had talked to both of them after they argued. She leaves it up to them to actually reconcile. In her opinion, they should still be the ones to ultimately see the issue eye-to-eye, since they're brothers.

13. Varda and Manwë's dynamics vs. Varda and Melkor's dynamics? Let us see. Varda and Manwë's initial relationship was that of harmonious best friends. They poked fun at each other, explored their powers together, sang together (I have so many songs in my head that I can imagine these two doing a duet with, btw), and they encouraged each other when the other was feeling down. They got on very well. Varda and Melkor were more like siblings who didn't get along but still cared very much. Varda would mildly scold Melkor for his pride or his insensitivity, and Melkor would complain that it wasn't her business. At the end of the day though, they appreciated each other very much. Whenever Varda helped Melkor and Manwë reconcile, Melkor would always be genuinely grateful, and Varda would be happy to help, not just for Manwë's sake, but for Melkor's as well.

14. Melkor didn't show it and didn't even realize it at first, but he's possessive of his brother. Since the two of them were together since the very beginning, the thought of being the second closest to Manwë rubbed him the wrong way, especially as they started meeting other Ainur. Melkor tried to ignore his misgivings, but he sometimes let them subtly slip. Though not all the time, Manwë would notice and reassure Melkor that whoever he becomes friends with in the future, Melkor is his one and only brother and he can never be second best.

15. Melkor was fairly content with Manwë's assurances - until Manwë and Varda fell in love and were married. Suddenly, when the three of them were together, Melkor would remember that Manwë and Varda are now in a place that he can't be. They're in love, for Eru's sake, and (romantic) love is such a powerful and all-encompassing emotion; how could he possibly hope to maintain his place in Manwë's heart? In Melkor's mind, he had been bumped down to second best. At first, he denied his emotions and even felt guilty for thinking such things, for Manwë and for Varda. They were both so important to him, and he told himself that he ought to be happy for them; that he was happy for them.

15.5. Melkor was still filled with awe and happiness during Manwë and Varda's wedding, however. To this day he considers it one of the most beautiful sights he's ever seen. I’ve adopted @nyarnamaitar ‘s headcanon that weddings among the Ainur are something like two beings of light interweaving their fëas, and this sight put Melkor at awe. After the event, Melkor gave them both a hearty congratulations, ignoring his negative feelings (and becoming furious at himself in private).

16. When Melkor hid/ignored his insecurity, Manwë didn't notice. In Manwë's mind, romantic and platonic love were completely different things and he could balance his platonic love for his brother with his romantic love for Varda. He saw no need to choose between them; in fact, Manwë never really even considered it a "choice" that could - or should - be made. They were both so dear to him. To Manwë, that was more than enough.

17. Eventually, though, Manwë and Melkor drifted apart. Melkor was the first one to start building the distance; he unwittingly put up a wall between himself and his brother (and Varda), partially because he didn't want to see how much Varda and Manwë loved each other, and how, in his eyes, Manwë forgot all about him when he was with Varda, partially because he felt ridiculous and ashamed of his building resentment and didn't want Manwë and Varda noticing. When Manwë and/or Varda tried to approach him about it he brushed them off. By the time Melkor realized what he was doing, the gap between the brothers had grown, and neither brother had the courage to try to make amends anymore. Manwë was more willing, but with continuous rejections from Melkor his hope for reconciliation decreased. He thought that maybe Melkor just needed space. Then he thought that maybe Melkor was alright by himself, that his brother preferred being alone; that Melkor was purposely cutting him off. Varda tried to intervene, but for once, her diplomatic skills failed to bridge the gap between the two brothers. Melkor didn't want to try - he was still afraid of seeing Manwë "forgetting about him" (I use quotations, of course, because this was all in Melkor's head, (Manwë hadn’t forgotten him in the slightest), and afraid of Manwë seeing his increasing bitterness. Of course, his reticence didn't help Manwë, either.

18. It was at this point that Varda began to truly see the dark potential in Melkor. She would sometimes see him hovering about by himself, seemingly deep in thought. Something about that brooding look made her wary of him. It made her feel guilty, because it wasn't anything he said or did...Varda simply could not ignore the unease that gnawed at her. (If you can't tell, I have never liked the perception that Varda acted like a bitch to Melkor.)

19. Without Manwë, Melkor had nothing much to do. He wasn't particularly close with any of the other Ainur, although he spoke to Mairon, Aulë's apprentice, sometimes, and enjoyed it. Still, Mairon was no Manwë, and Melkor began to turn to his thoughts for company. Consequently, those rebellious notions that Manwë, and later Varda as well, had been keeping at bay, began to spring back full force (this was what Varda noticed and began to become wary of). Still, Melkor had no evil intentions. He was just thinking, reveling in his thinking, and imagining what could be. He still loved Eru, his Father, he still loved Manwë, his brother, and he still cared about Varda, who was like a sister to him, despite any resentment he had towards her.

20. The thought that he might be able to create appealed to Melkor, especially because he was really quite lonely during this time. He thought he could create something - someone - that would never leave him and would always treasure him first above all things. It was during this time that he began to grow resentful towards Manwë as well. Why, he wondered, was his brother leaving him? The way Melkor began to see it, Manwë wasn't trying to reconnect, so perhaps his brother didn't need him after all. Perhaps he was content to let Melkor fade by himself. At first, Melkor was horrified at himself for thinking such things, but he began to believe it as time passed and their estrangement was growing increasingly longer. Eventually, partially to spite Manwë (though it was unconscious and Melkor didn't recognize this desire within himself at the time) and partially from the desire to create, Melkor began searching for the Flame Imperishable.

21. As he searched with no success for the Flame Imperishable, Melkor began to wonder something else: why was it only Eru that could create life and realities? Why not he, Melkor, as well? What was Eru's motivation for keeping the power of creation to himself? Melkor grew suspicious, and his suspicions were only given more opportunity to take root because of his solitary existence. They were also inflamed by his constant failure to find what he was searching for. Despite his anger, his lack of success only heightened his determination to find the Flame, leading him to become extremely withdrawn from the other Ainur.

22. Seeing his brother relentlessly working for something made up Manwë's mind on the issue (with much sadness, I might add); he decided that he was right, Melkor didn't need him anymore and felt better on his own. To avoid showing his sorrow at this prospect, Manwë began to ignore his bond with his brother, thinking that he might accidentally interfere with Melkor's work if he let him know how dejected he was that Melkor "didn't need him anymore". Feeling Manwë deliberately shying away from their connection, Melkor's mind was made up as well: Manwë had left him. This "realization" caused Melkor's restrained resentment towards his brother to burst, which in turn led him to throw himself deeper into being able to create something of his own that would never leave him "as Manwë had". At this point, Melkor was also full of bitterness and jealousy towards Varda as well; in his mind, she had been able to give Manwë something that he couldn't, and that infuriated him.

23. Melkor was hellbent on claiming the Flame Imperishable and creating something of his own, and during his time relentlessly searching for it, his pride increased as well as he imagined what he could make. It was these thoughts that caused Discord in the Great Music, and Eru rebuked Melkor in front of all of the Ainur. Manwë was watching as well, and while he felt sympathetic towards his brother for getting scolded, he had no idea the cause of Melkor's Discord. He didn't think much of it, either; Melkor was always a little rebellious in his thinking, and Manwë thought his brother was just projecting those thoughts too much into the music. He did feel at the time that Melkor had gone too far and thought Eru was right to scold him, but he certainly never imagined what was really going through Melkor’s head. Manwë also still believed that Melkor wished to be alone; therefore, he barely approached him. The last thing Manwë wanted was to let Melkor know how much he missed their close relationship. After all, he thought Melkor was happier alone, and if his brother was happy, Manwë didn't want to be the one to ruin that. He did attempt to give Melkor a little greeting, but Melkor brushed him off coolly. His belief that Melkor preferred being alone reinforced, Manwë sorrowfully left him alone and rejoined Varda. Unbeknownst to him, Melkor had watched him returning to his wife.

24. Varda, on the other hand, instantly recognized that something within Melkor had changed for the worse. She saw pride, bitterness, and loneliness inside Melkor, which fueled his increasingly rebellious actions and mindset, but she still cared about Melkor, not wanting to believe he could really become so terrible, and was also concerned as to what an effect on Manwë her worries would have. Therefore, she didn't say anything yet, but Varda could never see Melkor the same again. If she was cautious of him before, she was full-on suspicious now.

25. Melkor, meanwhile, was conflicted. Part of him wished he could still reconcile with Manwë and was furious at himself for deflecting a potential conversation, but seeing his brother returning to Varda's side without even trying to lengthen their interaction angered him all over again. Manwë was not even trying to go back to how they once were, and Eru - he "realized" in that moment that Eru had let Manwë slip away from him and was now rebuking and preventing him from doing what he wanted: create and have someone to be by his side.

26. It didn't help Melkor's resentment towards Manwë when his brother stopped him from claiming the Field of Arda as his own. Manwë, meanwhile, had no ill intentions whatsoever. He had always spoken his mind to his brother when they were younger, and thought this would be no different. In Manwë's eyes, he was only explaining his point of view and why he believed the other Valar deserved their share as well. In Melkor's eyes, however, Manwë's words were yet another sign that his brother didn't need him anymore, didn't care to rekindle their bond anymore, if he ever had. His bitterness was fed when the Valar who descended to Arda declared Manwë as their lord. It seemed to him that no one was taking his side: not the other Valar, not Eru, his Father, and not even Manwë, his own brother. He was hurt and humiliated.

27. However, Manwë wasn't blind or stupid. He began to suspect the change in Melkor after his brother so eagerly claimed the Field of Arda for himself, with absolutely no consideration for the hard work of the other Valar. His brother had become more insensitive, more inconsiderate, and much more prideful. But more than that, Manwë saw the anger in Melkor's eyes when he disagreed with him, and it was so potent and full of rancor that it startled Manwë. He began to realize that his brother might have changed far more than he had realized.

28. Melkor decided that if Manwë was going to hurt him, he would hurt Manwë right back. It was this point that he began to truly go against the other Valar and Eru; anything they created, he would do his best to warp and tear down. It brought him sick satisfaction; if he couldn't create, if he couldn't have something of his own making that never leave him, something that he could call his own, he would try his hardest to prevent the other Valar from obtaining such things as well.

29. When Melkor went fully into rebellion, Manwë was...stunned. He was with Varda in their court in Taniquetil and hearing about Melkor's first destruction of the Valar's works, Manwë just sank down onto the ground, his legs no longer supporting him. He suspected, Eru help him, he'd suspected and then hated himself for it, but to hear that his brother had truly...he couldn’t believe it was true. The reality would not sink in. He felt only the white emptiness of shock. Then the bleakness of despair sank in. His brother was now an enemy.

30. At first, Manwë was utterly inconsolable. He wouldn't speak to anyone - Varda included. When she walked by his chambers or stopped to check on him she could only either hear silence or the sound of soft sobs.

31. Manwë blamed himself. During his period of withdrawal from the world, he would think back to the old days with Melkor, when it was only the two of them and they'd been sure, so very sure, that nothing in the cosmos could ever tear them apart. He thought of their singing to each other, their verbal play-fights, their reconciliations after arguments. He thought of the moment that Melkor had started to drift away and cursed himself over and over for not mending their relationship when he had the chance. Why didn't I stop him? he wondered. Why couldn't I see how torn my own brother was? In Manwë’s eyes, he failed Melkor. He was a terrible excuse for a brother.

32. Melkor's feelings were mixed. On one hand, he felt twisted gratification that he'd hurt Manwë the same way Manwë hurt him. You left me first, brother, and now I've returned the favor. How does that make you feel? At the same time, Melkor cried. He cried because he had betrayed his brother, the only being that he had known every moment and millisecond of his existence. He cried because he knew he'd hurt Manwë, and some part of him felt so terrible for it. He cried because he had abandoned his brother, and who would protect Manwë now, his noble, magnanimous brother? He cried because in revealing his enmity towards the Valar, he had destroyed all chance of returning to their simple, peaceful days. Forever.

Whew! And that is Part 1 finished. This went from making general headcanon speculations to full-on inserting excerpts from a nonexistent Manwë and Melkor story.

I admit, this set of headcanons sounds pretty damn borderline Manwë/Melkor. I don’t actually ship them because, as I said, my Silmarillion OTP is Manwë/Varda. Still, I think Manwë and Melkor have such a tragic past between them, that they both loved each other very, very deeply and without reservation. I will definitely say that I made their story seem a little needlessly angsty here, but hey -

- you do you, I do me.

Thanks for reading my long and shitty take on Manwë and Melkor.

Bold of me to assume that anyone read it at all though

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