#idk if anyone has noticed but i always leave lyrics about the month under every post so

[hyunpic]

october 2022 with hyunjin

[candymayvary]

smth i wrote a little while ago. i wrote professor kim w masculine pronouns bc idk just made it harder when referring to axel and alex in the same sentences lol

i dont have a specific time in mind for when this would take place. just like. assumptions that axel has a good relationship with his professor, and that his professor actually takes care and notice of his work (my impression anyway from axel’s bio). and like..... discussing both student and professional work? idk. professor pov. 

and u kno what @se-serena

“Professor, you asked to see me?”

Looking up from his papers, Alex notices the way that this one particular student hovered in the doorway, and how his assistant was struggling to cover the starry-eyed gaze. With a wave of his hand, Axel walked the rest of the way into the office, door closing behind him with a soft click. Axel seemed to take the hint, settling in one of the chairs with an ease that told far more than he realised. 

“Before we begin, am I speaking to Axel, or you today?”

That seems to catch Axel off-guard, even though it had long since been a regular thing. Normally, when they had these one-on-one sessions, Axel would state at the beginning, set the feel of it, whether professional or personal. But it would be highly unprofessional of Alex Kim to assume one or the other, when he was the one who had called the meeting first.

Perhaps he should consider it a great deal that Axel, singer extraordinaire, considered his opinion so highly. But there was tension growing in those around him, and well, he wouldn’t be in the position he was if he just ignored it. 

“Axel?” his student hinges it on a question, as if he wasn’t too sure either. Alex couldn’t say that was the best decision, that he should’ve crossed that line they had made. A part of him had hoped Axel would understand the need for this to be speaking to the student, not the singer. 

Oh well. Alex could work with it, no matter what. Not like there was much choice here, anyway.

“Alright. Before I begin, do you have any idea why I called you to my office today?” A classic teacher line, to gauge where the student in turn was at. Telltale signs of stress would show, such as nervously looking at every corner of the room, or wringing their hands.

Axel shows none of these, chin in hand, as he relaxed in the chair. Pokerfaced and resolute. Alex had to admit that he was rather proud of where Axel currently sat, as he remembered where he had started. Not just from the tutelage he received from Arlington, as a lot of the work was all Axel’s doing — most of it in his own time.

“Not really, sir.” 

Fair. Alex’s email had been sharp and to the point. Meeting, Wednesday morning, ten thirty, don’t be late. Need to talk about your schoolwork, or so Alex had said. Not wholly untrue. 

“There has been some calls from other teachers regarding your work ethic, Axel. And not just in regards to your music.”

“Then why aren’t they having the meeting with me in person? Leaving you to clean up their dirty work, aren’t they?” A certain level of snide creeps into his voice. Alex lets the comment run its course.

“As much as I would like to discuss your results in other classes, I can’t. I don’t speak for them.”

Axel leans forward then, a little tighter around the eyes. He had only returned to campus a week prior, but from what Alex understood, most classes had been missed (except all of his, of course). “So? What’s this about, sir?”

And with that, Alex clicks on his laptop, watching the screen slowly light up. Whatever attitude Axel was trying to pull, the clear signs of interest were showing, with how he frowned a little when an all too familiar song played. His last assignment, handed in only a day prior. Two weeks late, but reasons withstanding, Alex wasn’t going to linger on that. No, he had spent a good few hours picking the work to pieces, breaking down every lyric, every beat. 

All his official comments and notes were in a file, ready to be sent at any moment. Axel could expect it after this meeting, no doubt. But the song ran it’s course, four minutes of it, before Alex paused the repeat. 

“You didn’t like it?” Axel finally asks, when the silence grew.

With a shrug, Alex motions to it. “I did. Definitely one of your better works in the last few months, Axel,” and then he pauses, wondering how to fully phrase the next part. And he had spent a two hours slaving over how to expect this meeting to go. “Unprofessionally, your work has always stood out in some way. But professionally…”

Trailing off, Alex focuses on the hand he had extended, once animated with commentary. Fingers curl into his palm. “Professionally, the work is lacklustre. And you are aware of how it’s been for a while now, Axel, there’s no denying that.”

For his part, Axel remains silent, a careful expression playing on his face. This could go either way. Alex was prepared for it. 

As he continues, he keeps a careful eye on Axel. “You have been doing the same thing over and over. The initial grab your music had isn’t there anymore. There’s no feeling behind the words.

“Whatever rut you are stuck in, it’s time to stop digging, Axel. Maybe it’s time to consider a different angle than the one you are producing.”

“What are you saying, professor? You can tell me, I’m not a child.”

Alex has to smile at that, as Axel’s tone betrayed him. A shame most of his peers were concerned with voicing critiques in class, as there was some level of reverence played towards Axel. Of course he was aware of it, when marking work later. How other students listed the same problems, and some of them had also suggested good ways to work around it, to break through whatever slump Axel had fallen prey to. But those went unsaid, which was why they sat the way they did now.

“I’m saying, Axel, that you need something new. Something fresh. Not the kind of thing you create just to satisfy an audience. At this point, you’ve given me the same kind of song several times over. And I will admit, your work is always at an incredible standard.” Soften the blow, Alex, come on. “You’ve always gone above and beyond.”

Axel interjects then, as if knowing full well Alex was trying to skirt around the issue with platitudes. “But?” 

“But,” he concedes, and plays the song again. Softer this time. “There’s no passion in this work. It’s lifeless.”

That seems to rile him up a little. “Well, help me. Tell me what to do.”

Alex chuckles, despite himself. “I can’t ‘tell you what to do’, Axel. I can only make suggestions.”

“Then do it. Sir.” Ah, through gritted teeth, Axel was staying polite.

“Go back to where you started. Let your current songs settle. Do something other than music for a while.” With a sigh, Alex stops. “There’s only so much I can suggest to you, Axel. People sing about the moon, without ever stepping foot on it.”

“Are you telling me to sing about the moon?” Axel’s tone bordered on incredulous, maybe a little mocking, and Alex had to stop himself from huffing.

“No, but what I’m telling you to do is challenge yourself. Sing about something you haven’t experienced, instead of what you think you know. Cities, the ocean, love… a particular season, even. There are plenty of topics to make a song about, if you do it well.”

Letting that drop and settle, Alex knew what the reaction would be. Plenty of other students of all ages and abilities tended to short circuit on such a simple suggestion as love. Numerous songs had come through from all kinds of people, a range of themes and feelings. Anything from a song about their pet cat, to what a breakup would be like. Never let it be said that his department was untalented, as even those so sheltered before Arlington managed to convince Alex otherwise. And he took great pride in that, encouraged it, harnessed that talent. Execution, execution, execution. Something he emphasised to greatly.

His first classes started the same. Make me believe in something. Big letters across the board, as it would stay for the next few months. Sing me something I don’t know. Alex stressed it, constantly. Have him relate, have him feel. Have him dream of a set of lyrics that were a jumbled mess of words out of context, but in that moment resonated with him. 

And he pushed it. Whenever assignments were due, songs would pour in, and those who understood what it meant, achieved.

Those who didn’t, sat before him, out of their depth, and showing the signs of it. Of course Alex knew Axel’s potential, how wonderful he was. And perhaps it was a little presumptuous to say that Axel had been one of his favourite students in a long time, because there was a lot of work in the future for the both of them. 

But watching Axel splutter under the suggestion of ‘love’, as if some of his earlier songs didn’t contain those themes, was unexpected. Axel had sung about it, a long time ago, like he knew what he was talking about. 

If he hadn’t turned bright red, Alex almost would’ve thought it was someone else all along. Wisely, Alex chose not to comment on his student’s complexion, and diverted the conversation back. “As I said, Axel, there are a number of topics to choose from, it’s just on you to make them come to life.”

“But,” he started, before clearing his throat. Alex felt the corner of his mouth quirk a little, trying as he was, at the jump in Axel’s voice. “But… people who like my work — like me — don’t want songs about oceans. I can’t do that kind of stuff for them.”

“Then sing for yourself.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” It’s a quiet admission, like Alex had finally managed to break through one layer. To anyone else, that may have been misunderstood, but Alex knew how much it meant, to start to see the student underneath the professional.

“I know it’s not. If it helps, sing for only one person. Sing for two, three, or ten. Not hundreds. Don’t focus your energy into what you think people want to hear, but what they need to hear.”

“Yeah, but who needs to hear about love? Almost every song is about it. Wouldn’t that just make me like everyone else?” From the way Axel raises his eyebrows, Alex can hear him calling him a hypocrite. 

“Perhaps, but it’s all about execution.”

An eye roll, that set off the feeling this discussion was coming to a close. Definitely a shame, despite Alex knowing he got more in that he thought he would. Always a caution as to where particular conversations with Axel went. But this one? This one was positive — perhaps it could even be considered groundbreaking. Despite the heave of a sigh as Axel pushes himself to his feet, Alex could see the cogs begin to spin. Careful calculations were playing out before him, which only made Alex swell with pride.

“Enough for today. Hopefully you have plenty to think about.”

Axel nods, scratching his neck before crossing his arms. Taking a step out of the situation, it seemed. In the background, the song he had submitted for his assignment still played on loop, only ending when Alex finally closed his laptop. “I do have to say that, unfortunately, I can’t accept this for your assignment.”

Holding a hand up, as Axel snapped to attention, Alex gave him the best settling stare he could manage. “You have another week to write and compose a song. Think about what I’ve said, and I want to see it come into play. You’re an amazing musician, Axel. Remember that.”

[alicedoessurveys]

93 Questions

1. When did you last leave your house? Where did you go and why? Yesterday, I went to beckets to get birthday cakes for dad

2. Has anyone ever accused you of trying to steal their boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope

3. Does your best friend smoke cigarettes? Not that I know of

4. Did your last received text message have a smiley face in it? Nope

5. Have your parents ever tried to talk to you about things like sex and contraception? Haha nope they know I’m not doing any of that stuff

6. Find your last text message from the opposite sex. Can you tell us what it says, or is the content too personal? Last message from a guy was from Addison earlier this week. He said “my legacy is safe” .. its a long story :’)

7. How about your last Facebook message from the opposite sex, what does that say? From a family friend called Tom. He sent me one of those copy & paste messages that are going around at the moment

8. You find out that your last ex is in a relationship with someone else, and it’s very serious. In fact, they’re planning to get married. Your reaction? I don’t have an ex

9. Do you think you will kiss someone tonight? Nope

10. What was on your mind before you went to bed last night? And what was on your mind when you woke up this morning? All thats on my mind at the moment is wondering when we’re getting our foster placement

11. Do you have any possessions that you’re very attached to, and you’d be absolutely devastated if you damaged or lost them? I have a lot of possessions that would make me devastated if they were lost or damaged..

12. Think about the last conversation you had with someone else, face to face or online. Who initiated the conversation? What did you talk about? How did you feel while you were talking to that person? With my mom, she’s sat in the same room as me now. We’re organising collecting things we’ve bought for the kids room

13. Have you done anything in the past week that you’re now embarrassed about? if I have then I’ve wiped it from my memory

14. Has anyone ever told you that they would always love you? Do you think that person meant it? Only family & I believe them

15. Have you ever told anyone that you would always love them? Did you mean it? Again, probably family & yeah

16. Say you just randomly got bored of sitting at your computer and got up and went out, where would you be most likely to go? probably to take the dogs to the park

17. If the last person you texted was walking out of your life, would you chase after them? Yah, she’s my mom

18. Who was the last person to call you beautiful, sweet, or cute? Mom last night

19. Can you remember the last time you couldn’t have something you really wanted? What was the reason? Idk

20. What color are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you? Blue

21. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, and you got away with it? Idk, I’m not very naughty haha..

22. Who was the last person of the opposite sex to make you smile? Are you attracted to that person? Idk probably dad or sis’ boyf last night at dad’s birthday meal. Nope I’m not cause they’re family

23. You’re awake at 2 am talking to someone, who is it? No one

24. Can I call you home dawg? if you really want to

25. Are white walls boring? Nope I like them

26. Are you sleep deprived? Not really, I slept a lot this morning. Probably will be soon if we get a baby

27. Do you like kids? Depends what they’re like. I cant deal with kids that scream constantly or have tantrums over stupid shit

28. Is your favorite sport to watch the same as to play? Dont like watching sports

29. If I touched the last place on your body you touched would it be awkward? Yeah, I don’t like people touching my face

30. What sound does a duck make? Quack

31. Do you know what literature device that’s called? Onomatopea..?

32. Would other people rate your looks significantly different than your rating? Probably not

33. Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? Yup, rhys

34. Is it awkward when you run into your first ex? n/a

35. Was your last text message from a girl or boy? Girl

36. Who was the last person you texted? Mom

37. How do you feel about homosexual people? I have no opinion, its nothing to do with me how other people live their lives

38. Is your sister a slut? No

39. Your girlfriend/boyfriend buys you flowers, you say: Havent got a boyfriend, but if I did id say thank you

40. Can you play Guitar Hero? I have played it once ages ago, I liked it

41. Where is your biological father right now? At work

42. Can you whistle? Yup

43. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah

44. Who were you last on the phone with? Rhys the other day

45. Do you like flavored teas? I don’t like tea

46. When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? I think I had a swing I can’t remember, I know I had a climbing frame slide things with a playhouse under it

47. Is your mall nice? its okay

48. What are you listening to? American horror story on telly

49. Do you burn incense? occasinally

50. Do you smoke weed? No, my neighbour does and it stinks

51. Do you like to post song lyrics for your Facebook status? No

52. Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? I don’t know what that is

53. Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? nope cause I’m in the UK

54. Do you go to the gym? Not anymore

55. Do you like Kid Cudi? Dont listen to him

56. Does being in love make you nervous? Never been in love so idk

57. Don’t you just love randomness? idk not really

58. Have you ever made a mistake in letting someone go? Nope

59. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? dont like the texture of strawberries

60. What was the last important thing that you thought about? probably Fostering

61. Did the last song you listened to hold any special meaning? Yeah, it was My Lighthouse by Rend Collective. It was always be special to me because its the song that I sung in my head to keep me calm during my driving test

62. Do you and your last ex hate each other? n/a

63. What’s irritating you right now? its freakin’ freezing in this house

64. Who was the last person you gave up on? Idk

65. Have you ever been so quiet that nobody noticed that you were there? Yeah, I make people jump a lot :’)

66. Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? Yup :/

67. Do you stay home when you are sick or do you still go out? Stay home

68. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? Haha nope

69. What’s your current boy situation right now? no boyfriend

70. Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? Not hate.

71. What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? Mom

72. Do you think that you’re a good person? I try

73. Have a best friend? Yup

74. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends at the same time? Nope

75. Do you have any plans for the weekend? Going to see the strictly come dancing live show :)

76. Are you in a good mood right now? not bad

77. What are you looking forward to in the next three months? Yupppp

78. Do you like your hair? since I got it cut, yah! Plus, I curled it yesterday so its nice and wavy today

79. What’s your most valuable memory of the first month of this year? Probably New Years day with my fam

80. Were you single for your last birthday? Yup

81. How’s your love life? Non existent

82. Could you date someone taller than you? Yes please

83. What’s the closest black thing to you? The keyboard on my laptop

84. Are you happier now or a month ago? probably a month ago because it was nearly Christmas

85. Have you kissed someone with braces? Nope

86. Do you ever wonder how other people see you? All the time

87. Does anyone have feelings for you right now? Doubt it

88. Will this weekend be a good one? Yah!

89. Who’s your favorite redhead? dont really have a fave redhead..

90. Does anyone disgust you? Terrorists and people who abuse animals

91. Is there someone that you used to talk to every single day but you don’t now? Yup..

92. Is this the best year of your life? Hope so

93. When was the last time you were sun burned? Can’t remember, I don’t really catch the sun