#idk if that idea was scraped or not but it is funny

[merriclo]

the fact that there’s hurricane family lore. i love it.

[fishsticksart]

Elaine de Kooning, Red Bison/Blue Horse, 1985–1986, oil and charcoal on canvas

[feyascorner]

jealousy looks good on you

summary. Astarion realizes you're jealous after a night out at the tavern where he must gather information from another. And him being him, teasing ensues.

warnings. fluff, idk just two idiots doing idiotic things, Tav here is good oriented, sorry to evil tav players,,,

pairing. Astarion x GN!reader

a/n. I love morons in love,,

You were not jealous. Especially not of that damned elf practically hanging off from his arm.

You'd encountered devils, walking brains, even the greatest of beasts during your adventures, yet not once have you felt nothing but utter annoyance. Like an obnoxious fly circling your head insistently no matter how much you swatted at it.

You'd never considered yourself possessive of your dearest companion. Sure, you were protective of him at times, but so were you with the rest of your group, especially knowing what each person had gone through in their lives. And while being lovers might've given an extra kick to that boundary, by no means were you excessively watching him like a hawk.

But now here you were, not watching him, but her.

Information, you remind yourself. You'd nearly forgotten why he was even tolerating her behavior in the first place, because even if he was flirtacious by nature, his tendencies narrowed down towards only you after your conversation at Moonrise. You knew he dreaded this as much as you, but the information that woman had was a must—and Astarion had insisted he could help out.

You were sincerely regretting even entertaining the idea now.

She has her chest pressed flush to the toned muscles of his arm, making sure he’s aware of what qualities she has to offer. With a bat of her lashes, she lets out a shrill laughter when he mumbles something, playfully hitting his chest as if it's the funniest thing in the world.

You’ll show her something really fucking funny at this rate—

Patience, you remind yourself. Breathe. In and out. This is unlike the qualities of a hero trying to save the city. Shooting an arrow at the woman would do nothing but cause panic. Why did you even want to get so violent in the first place? A little minor bump in the road shouldn't make you this angry, should it?

You seriously don't want to watch anymore—especially when he leans toward her to whisper something in her ear and she lets out that rage-inducing giggle again—so you down the rest of your alcohol and run a hand down your face.

You don't notice his eyes glancing at you every few moments, too busy calming your nerves.

A few minutes later, you hear the scrape of his chair pushing back and a rush of relief floods you when you see him stand, face content in a way that tells you the mission was successful. You thank the Gods above because any more of this and you certainly would've committed some sort of crime-

The woman takes his hand, shaking her head before giving him a sly smile. The breaths you took earlier seem to have no effect the second she motions towards the door, her fingers still wrapped around his hand like a death sentence.

You should trust him, you think.

He's had more experience in this than anyone else.

You can't see his expression, but the second you see hers drop, you're suddenly moving across the entire tavern. He whips around when he hears your steps and the relief on his face almost calms you. Almost.

“Hello, dear,” you accentuate. And though your eyes are trained on his, you're more focused on the woman from your side view. “Ready to leave? Sorry I had to catch up with a friend earlier.”

He raises a brow for a moment, and you suspect it’s because you were never supposed to even be in the plan. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze and look away, embarrassed to have let your emotions alter the mission so much—but he seems more than pleased. In fact, the bastard grins.

“Yes, my love,” he snickers, snatching his arm away from the woman and looping the other around the waist. “Let us hurry. I cannot stand another moment being unable to ravage you under such—prying eyes.”

Somehow, your face gets hotter.

Before the woman can respond (though you doubt she even wanted to), he's leading you out the tavern into the cold air of the streets for a much needed breather on your part. You're almost certain you won't be going to that tavern for a while.

“‘My dear’?” he mimics, his lips stretching wider. “I’d believed I was the one with pet names in our relationship. You'd seemed quite adamant on calling me by my given name after all. Had a change of heart?”

Your voice is a mumble as you retort. “Must be the alcohol.”

“Really? Because if I didn't know any better, and I do,” he stops the two of you around the corner of the building in an isolated spot, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’d think you were jealous back there, darling.”

“I was just worried about you,” you blurt in a hurry. “Otherwise I wouldn't have butt in and—”

“Oh, my sweet sweet love,” he laughs. “I could feel you glaring from across the building. And I'm sure I could've sworn to see you slam your goblet a few times. No need to be ashamed. Jealousy is quite normal, and I'm more than flattered.”

“I’m not—” you begin, but her face flashes in your mind again. The way she'd touched his arms, his chest, and you knew she'd never know him the way you do. But it didn't quell the annoyance flickering in your chest. He raises a brow expectantly for your answer, and you quietly lift your hand to his arm, dusting it off.

Dusting her off.

And finally, you accept it. “I’m going to burn those clothes.”

He snorts. “I’m sure there's more romantic ways of getting me naked, but this’ll have to do for now.”

“I will. Then I’ll bury the ashes somewhere.”

“Charming.”

You look at him, disappointed—not in him, but yourself. Before you can drown in your own thoughts, he lifts his fingers to caress your face, smiling. “There really was no need to be jealous, darling.”

“I know,” you mutter. “I just—seeing her practically begging for your attention pissed me off.”

“And there's the difference between you and her. If it's worth even comparing at all,” he says, planting a peck to your forehead. “She begs a hopeless cause while I beg for you.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “You don't need to beg me for attention.”

“I’m aware. I know how much you're fond of me and my gorgeous eyelashes.” You sigh at this. “But I must admit that a selfish part of me is a bit pleased by your reaction to that vile woman.”

“Why? This feels horrible.”

“Well, now you get a taste of what I want to do when I see you with that damned cleric,” he groans at the thought. “Yes, I am aware you two are the giddiest of friends, but whenever she puts her hands all over you for the sake of healing—”

You burst into a fit of laughter. “How else is she supposed to help?”

“I’m sure she can heal you from a safe distance away. Preferably twelve feet. Maybe more.”

Wordlessly, you calm your smile and press your lips to his, your fingers running through white curls. He holds you like you’re made of glass, gently.

The kiss is soft, even as you finally pull away. “Stupid vampire.”

“Silly darling.”

You don't complain when he pulls you closer for one last kiss.

[truetealtears]

‘Why is Gale depicted as the default leader in the animated short?’

Because he cooks

When you’re a rag tag group of people scraping by in the wilderness; you do not fuck with the guy who feeds you (minus Astarion who’s fucking around and finding out who he can/cannot feed on lmao)

Yeah you can tease him and make fun of him and you don’t have to like him (all of which we can see different characters doing) but you don’t make an enemy of the camp cook, not without very good reason (especially if he cooks well - Which he seems to, there’s no complaints. His dialogue tells you it’s clearly a hobby of his, so he knows what he’s doing, plus everyone saying he’s like fantasy Greek - I hear you and you’re right).

And we can see that because no one has major beef w Gale (that I’m aware of lol), some find him at bit insufferable but no one actively hates him (at least initially, idk what some of you are doing in ur playthroughs)

Not to say they’d immediately appoint him as Mr Leader Man after one meal but they’d definitely be more willing to listen to his ideas and consider them. Plus they know Gale is smart (book smart at least), they can all agree that he isn’t stupid and his plans are likely to be plausible/reasonable (for the group ofc, we all know what this man will do to himself if you let him). He gets bonus points for being quite sociable and generally approving of doing The Right Thing, while also having enough of a moral grey area to hear the others out on their more… eccentric ideas (see his dialogue about making use of the Illithid powers and stuff)

So yeah I think all of this would culminate in him being the default leader when there’s no player influence (aka when tav doesn’t exist and ur not controlling someone else)

Funny side note: the initial data larian released kinda backs me up in a roundabout way; with Gale being the most commonly chosen origin lol

To me this means that after Tav, Gale is the most likely candidate for leader. So imagine all the drama that plays out when he’s like ‘hey guys it’s been nice and I’m glad I could help you all with some of ur problems but my ex my goddess is telling me to go kill myself so’

Even when you’re playing as Tav everyone thinks it’s stupid for Gale to go kill himself because Mystra said so. They’re all like ‘that isn’t fair/what a waste’ (further evidence that no one truly hates him thanks). So now when he’s their leader I imagine they’re like ‘NOOOOOO’

[wayfayrr]

Hello! I love the self-aware stuff you’re doing for the links. Love that stuff.

Now don’t feel compelled to write anything about this. I just think it’s funny to think about :)

My switch has been acting kinda weird recently. Not broken or anything too major. But a corner of the the touchscreen is coming off, a very small part. Pretty sure it’s because of the heat and the glue or something? Anyway, it’s also been glitching sometimes. Colored lines will go across the screen in handheld mode. (Truthfully it’s sometimes annoying, but it’s kinda old so go figures it’s gonna start acting weird)

But could you imagine with the links??? Like they start realizing that the console is malfunctioning, or a piece of the screen is breaking? I can see them being like, “YES YES, PROGRESS!!!”

Idk it’s just funny to think about sometimes

(Again don’t feel compelled to write anything. Wanted to give a fun little thought I had :])

I mean if the switch is breaking when they're ready then they're going to be ECSTATIC - if it's already breaking then surely you won't be as bothered when they hop out and finish it off right? not like there's going to be a severe change in the cost of getting it repaired from a minor break to the entire thing being completely unusable

but they don't even worry about the cost! It's not even something that registers with them cause well - no money could possibly make them living with you a bad thing right? besides they could just sell some stuff or get a job to make it up to you.

it'd be intresting to think about them continuing to glitch post getting out of the game too, like they stand there unbreathing, unblinking different coloured lines running across them as their body tries so desperately to belong in this new world now. their voice even glitching, static surrounding them near constantly as they try so hard to belong failing every single time.

maybe if they were more patient they could have been whole. right. not some half broken mockery of a person holding onto their life with all of their energy.

maybe it wouldn't have done a thing to wait and they would have simply been trapped in their non existence even longer

it's not something they'll be able to ever find the answer for anyway

love the idea of them clawing against the screen so so so much too, scraping at it until their fingers are bleeding, with no progress beyond the fact that they are bleeding, something new to them so it must be working right? it has to be. so they ball their hands into fists in their last attempt to get this one last remaining obstacle out of their way, crying and screaming with their newly found voice. begging for help, from you, from hylia, from anything as long as it gets them out. until crack by crack, glass shards digging into their skin, it shatters.

the only ones that really have a less bloody way out are tears and wild, just because their tech and ability offer them other solutions to it. The rest aren't as lucky

[the-s1lly-corner]

Down Time with the Creepypasta Guys

Another short thing to burn some time!! I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes :(!! Its v cold in my room rn and I'm shivering <\3

Slenderman;

Really, when the two of you have time together, with norhing to do, he mostly just goes along with whatever you want to do

Something tells me he'd much rather study and observe you, but I also feel like he'd join in whatever activity to humor you

Reading? Movies? Games? He won't turn you down if you ask politely

Dont expect him to go out in broad daylight with you, though

His favorite activities to do with you by far are reading, but he also enjoys slow dancing with you

Even just holding you and swaying is enough

Almost makes both of you forget he's a monster

Eyeless Jack;

Another one that's down with whatever you want to do

I feel like right off the bat Jack would want to stick with something simple, that doesn't take too much energy

If you bring something to his cabin that can play movies, he'll pull himself close to you and melt into your side

He may even sling an arm across your torso, if he feels confident enough that you won't freak out

Since I hc he lives out in the woods, he won't mind taking you around for a walk; as long as the weather isn't too bothersome and you don't run off and get hurt

Don't expect him to play games like tag with you

Laughing Jack;

Now this guy? Real funny guy

You two would probably get up to the stupidest shit tbh

He seems like the type to engage in friendly roast battles, not sure why

You two could spend hours poking fun at each other like this

Obviously you introduce him to comedy shows and skits, and generally show him things you find funny

If he wasn't an 8 foot tall clown he would LOVE to go to a fair or carnival with you, hell! He'd probably enjoy places like chuck e cheese

He seems the type to go bonkers over those places

Tim (Masky);

This is all assuming that you don't know about his whole proxy thing, since that's how I wrote the Christmas scenario a few days ago, so for the time being I'm sticking with that unless the prompt says otherwise!! So!!

Sleep

Lots and lots of sleep

He'll get red in the face if you bring it up, but he's a huge cuddlebug

Constantly holding some part of you during your nap sessions

Hand. Arm. Torso. Leg. Wrist. If he can get his hands on it, he's holding it

Will end up snuggling into you even if you two are sleeping on opposite sides of the bed

If you two really want to, you may go out and catch a movie, or go out to eat

Another thing you two often do is tend to the wounds that appear on his body when he's away... he seems to get stressed when he can't recall where they came from

Brian (Hoodie);

The park is probably his go to place to unwind

Watching clouds, feeding the birds, maybe walking along a trail or two

He wants to just.. chill, much like how Tim does, but he's far more willing to go outside than Tim

Though, he's not against staying in for the afternoon and doing a couples activity

He seems like the type to enjoy cooking and baking

Idk why

Matching aprons

Maybe he'll hug you from behind n guide your hands during it

Not to make you feel bad or that you're doing it wrong!!

He wants to be close to you, is all

And thars another one done!! Sorry if it's a little dry <\3 im trying to scrape my brain for ideas but I'm drawing blanks <\3

If there's any creepypastas you want me to add to my base list let me know!! If I'm comfy with adding them I'll add them!!

[crowroboros]

CARL 2 anything left to scrape off walls of this barrel before hitting the baseline facts?

Sorry for taking so long to do this, had a lot going on offline lol.

Okay, Carl round 2. I think in the first Carl post I made, I focused a lot on him narratively and how the plot handles his character so I guess I'll focus on being more casual with this one. Just getting out random thoughts, you know?

Carl and Daxton's friendship was one of the best parts of the vn. I would read an entire story of those two just being best buds after Flynn's route.

I kind of want to know what specific irl games (or their in universe equivalent) Carl is into cause in Route 65 Chase says that Carl is playing a "Japanese Tactics RPG" on his handheld and my mind immediately went to Fire Emblem. And idk I find the idea of the Echo gang knowing about Fire Emblem to be very funny for some reason.

I wish we got a bit more Sydney and Carl flashbacks. Both of them were very close to Flynn and Carl expresses discontent over the lack of answers surrounding Syd's death. I just wonder how close they were and what their friendship was like. Especially considering the shit in TJ's route with the "never have I ever killed somebody" or how Carl wanted to do the treasure hunt to get some closure. It makes it seem like those two were better friends than say Syd and Jenna, but we don't really see any of it.

Speaking of Carl's relationships with different characters, we have to talk about Carl and Flynn right? I'm not into the shipping scene much, but "Flarl" is something I can get behind. This post always jumps to mind when I think of their relationship and it is probably the most compelling piece of Flarl content I've ever seen, official or otherwise. Also I occasionally see the opinion that Flynn/Carl didn't have much hints in the prologue and Carl's route. And I can agree with the prologue, but in the beginning of Carl's route, Flynn and Carl was having an argument over Carl spending time with Chase over Flynn.

Chase rationalizes the "making out" comment and the other remarks between Flynn and Carl as a joke (and on my first reading I did as well) but in retrospect yeah wow there were more hints towards their relationship than I remember.

Also wait Carl isn't an only child right? I might be saying bullshit but I swear he mentions a sister in his route.

He fucking does what

who the hell is she? wait she gets mentioned once and then never again what is going on there?

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiya!! I love your writing and I know you probably have a lott on your plate atm buttt I was wondering if you could do the boys hcs with a rollerskater reader?

I can try yeah! ; also sorry for no mully and narrator, I just couldn't think of any more ideas 😔 ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

THE BOYS ; rollerksates

includes ; juicyfruitsnacks, eddievr, & joshdub

warnings ; language, talk of wounds / rush burns

masterlist

JUICYFRUITSNACKS

so supportive like?? always posting / reposting pics of yours, posting videos from tournaments (if you do them) etc

you teach him how to rollerskate

loves getting you funny knee high socks

like idk where he found weird knockoff ratatouille socks but he got them for you

loves hyping you up when you practice at home / with him on walks

sometimes you don't wear protective gear because you're not doing anything crazy

yet it's the most popular time for you to get hurt??

lots of bruises and rush burns on your knees and elbows 💀

he's resorted to carrying around a box of bandaids in his pocket

made you a whole playlist of music for you to listen to when you're skating

it's mostly like danceable pop music cause dopamine rush❗️

EDDIEVR

will not be trying to rollerskate

he tried once and looked like a dumbass

will find the most ridiculous kids bandaids to give you for minor injuries

will happily do any facepaint for you

and will also get you fun stickers for your helmet / protective gear

made you a playlist of rap/hip hop music to listen too to hype yourself up

literally your biggest hype man

also gives you bandanas of his to wear

"it's a lot like ice skating without the ice"

"you just got that?"

the amount of reposts of pics from your socials and tags on random rollerskater videos is insane

finds it so funny seeing you do drills the skates to keep your game up

often sees you sliding around the floor in socks like you're still skating (habit) and usually just smiles to himself bc he doesn't know if you're aware of it or not

JOSHDUB

he tries rollerskating a bit but he is not great

I mean he's a beginner, it's not something you can just do off the top yk

also gets you weird / funny socks

also your biggest hype man

also helps you record tricks / make compilations of your stuff to upload

and edits said recordings ^

bro has a whole pop/hip hop playlist for you for when you're focused yet need the dopamine rush

like the others, he loves finding weird kids bandaids for you since you get scraped up a bit even with protective gear

always sending you tiktoks of other ppl doing certain tricks

works out with you while you do drills / practice in general

[the-burd-lord]

Heavily inspired by @deafenedsaltwater 's concepts. Idk what was in that post, but it sparked me to make a whole heap of sketches and ideas. Dunno how far I'm gonna roll with this concept, but for now it's rollin kinda far.

Loads of info below:

Four is the math teacher with X as his TA. Four's one of those teachers that really knows the material, but because they know it so well he thinks it should be easy for anyone to get. So they're kinda harsh with the students if they get something wrong.

Whereas X gives more positive reinforcements for students, and isn't as harsh with them. X doesn't know as much of the material, and probably looks to the teacher's textbook if they're lost. One of those teachers who kinda learns with the class.

Airy is the school's nurse and teaches the Home E.C. class, and he's awful at both jobs. When he's not starting fires or teaching the course like it's some kind of wilderness survival camp, he's mainly works as the nurse.

As a nurse, he misdiagnoses things constantly if it's not an obvious injury, and uses a bunch of herbal remedies for the few things he does know how to help with. Mainly scrapes and stomach aches.

Two often times subs in for him when Airy has to take care of a sick student, who often times will fake being sick so they can get Two to teach the class.

MePhone teaches coding and AutoCAD as an extra circular, and probably typing for lower grades. I keep slappin' a bunch of classes onto 'im cause I remember taking so many throughout high and middle school.

He doesn't enjoy teaching coding or typing since he doesn't see them as creative as making actual models for things in AutoCAD, even though the other two can be used creatively. MePad's kinda left to teach those classes despite being a TA.

Also it's a very hands off class where he gives them the basics of how to use the program, and the rest of the class is leaving the students to make whatever thing fits the assignment.

He's the kind of teacher who's real in tune with internet culture and reality tv so he uses a bunch of modern slang phrases or casually gives hot takes on shows if he overhears the students talking about them. Everyone thinks it's cause he wants to be "hip with the kids" when in reality he just has brain rot.

Clock's the history teacher. He discusses each history point with the same tone and enthusiasm, and remembers the years and eras with pinpoint accuracy. Kinda put too much emphasis on the dates, and how long events lasted, over the content of those events.

He's the teacher you can get to go on a long side tangent about something unrelated to the material, but they'd always find a way to bring it back to history.

Idk I also think it'd also be funny if he co-taught an economics class with Four (thinking there'd be a lot of math involved) when it's really more so about theories.

Out of all the teachers, Four and Clock are the most knowledgeable and could probably teach college level courses if they wanted to.

Animatic is the PE teacher with too much energy and gives the harshest workouts but thinks they're easy. Mainly cause he does them alongside the students and always has energy after to run laps around the school. Two would have probably told them to tone it down.

Speaking of-

Two is the health counselor and sub for Home Econ., but also has a bunch of unofficial jobs. They're the unofficial vice principal mainly cause the rest of the speaker boxes are kinda incompetent at their job, and they have to mediate not only students but teachers too (mainly Four and Animatic). As well as sub in for Airy, or even act as a supervisor, when need be.

Some other ones I haven't drawn yet are Daddy Long Legs as the music teacher, Popcorn as the theater teacher, and Hourglass as the English/Literature teacher.

The speaker boxes are the principle/VP/admin. They all kinda interchange with each other, considering how similar they all are also cause they switch out a lot in the original show.

Dunno who the science or art teacher would be, cause I'm mainly going after object shows I've seen. Honestly I may just swap some roles around.

Mainly doing this as a thing for funsies, but boy howdy is it a rapidly rolling snowball.

[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

[toffeesbabbles]

some quick design headcanons for horror before i reread the story (why I'm I making headcanons /before/ I read the story? I'm impatient sorry)

I thought, given his coat jacket was stained with blood, it wasn't too much of a stretch to make it seem that he had coagulated blood on his skull from when it got broken.

he's always slouched, gotta project my bad posture onto someone. Also I just thought it would be funny since I imagine him super tall to go from being tall to being TALLER when he sits up, which I can imagine he does before he fights or sm?

His spine vertebral arches (had to check google for that one) stick out far more than any other sans. I just thought it looked cool tbh

his coat has been torn from the many scuffles (cause you know fighting for life cause of the starvation) I'm sure he gets in, but papyrus patched it up for him to best of his ability (he used scraped fabric that is mismatched from the original coat, not sure how available fabric would be during a famine...).

his nose hole? bone, idk. The correct terminology... is more realistic than other senses. This one doesn't have a reason aside from I thought it would be scarier, but maybe it could tie into the reason for my height headcanon (below)

more yappage under the cut

i share the HC that many do (not sure who started it) that horror is huge. Not sure if it's the reason why other people do it this way, but I imagine the starvation eventually mutates monsters to become, well...more monstrous. So Horror was the size of a normal sans, but his magic went wacko, and maybe it's even like a primal defense mechanism for monsters to grow bigger when starved/constant flight or fight and he grew huge (does that even make sense? I'm putting it anyway). His brother is even taller, standing at like a terrifying 10 ft or something like that in my head. uhh I vaguely remember seeing this explanation elsewhere? so don't credit me with the idea...

[weaselfactoryex]

Any headcanons for SAH?

I’ve got some unorthodox stuff since I feel I haven’t really formed any big headcannons of my own yet! Mostly small things or funny stuff. I fully watched the series maybe 3 weeks ago? I’m gonna be giving it a full rewatch soon though.

There’s some headcannons on here that i’ve seen, like Geumsaegi being much more happier and open with others pre-weasel takeover. That I can totally believe.

In a similar vein I honestly have the headcannon that Bamsaegi is only going back to the military for his brother’s sake, and that he feels personally responsible for what happened to Dr. Dudeoji. Bamsaegi kinda gives me vibes of ‘blaming himself’ despite things being beyond his control. Call me projective in that aspect aaa. He doesn’t seem to enjoy being back at all, and going back has only caused him pain. (Being slapped, beat up, nearly poisoned, ete.) the only thing keeping Bam is his family and friends being with him during missions tbh.

I saw a headcannon when I first started to float around the fandom about Commander Jogjebi and Aekku being related. I kinda subscribe to this. I feel like Aekku and Geomeunjogjebi would be like distant nephews to both Commander and Assistant Jogjebi. Close enough to recognize them as family but not invested enough to look deeper into it. Idk. Maybe this is my method of rationalizing Com. Jogjebi keeping them alive when he would have killed them long ago. (Didn’t he fake an execution with one of them?)

Now…these below are getting into silly/self indulgent territory.

I am a firm Mangko color change denier. Keep him grey/pink like he was mid season!!!! Making him orange again just makes him look like the masses again! Him being grey makes him stand out as one of the big players in the Mt. Rock Rebels! So salty about this I took his grey fur and used it on my oc lmao. The same kinda goes for Dr. Huinjogjebi. I liked the stark white/purple tones he had but I can scrape that by as him getting older / being poisoned and injured at Sturgeon Base.

Speaking of I think… if Dr. Huinjogjebi wasn’t as professional, bro might have had a passing thing for Commander Jogjebi. This is totally me just being not normal sorry

Because I watched them around the same time, I am a firm believer that Nu Pogodi and SaH take place in the same universe, at the same time as eachother. Both cartoons came out around the same time, involve furry animals, and just has that zest lol— if you want a good idea of how I see the world of SaH outside of Flower Hill, you should give that series a watch too 👍🏾

OKAY FINALLY, i just thought of this now, and it is purely in silly territory. Hear me out, the ‘dub’ is a ‘show’ in universe made by the Italy equivalent in SaH that’s a “100% completely accurate documentary” about what’s happening in Flower Hill for the countries outside of the war. Do with this what you will…

That’s it for now, but I’ll share more headcannon stuff i come up with in the future!

[ofallthingsnasty]

This is highly unlikely to happen BUT imagine the show Wife Swap (old american reality show from the early 2000s). I never saw a single episode and don’t intend to but the premise is simple (and really weird lmao): two wives from vastly different families swap households for a while. Shenanigans ensue.

Anyways, there is not a chance in hell Crocodile would let his basement wife anywhere near Doflamingo, but imagine some devil fruit fuckery swaps basement wife and the family pet temporarily. Everyone, except for Doflamingo maybe, will be having a really hard time until wife and pet can be located and brought back to their proper places

Oh, anon if only you knew - the German version was a huge part of my tween years, mainly because of one specific meme that came out of it (Frauentausch-Andreas)💀 The thought is so fucking funny, though. Idk what it is about dark content with a crack-treated-seriously twist, but it makes me laugh.

tw. crack treated seriously, noncon (only for Doffy), basement wife is fat + fem, family pet is gn as always

Oh my god, call that basement wife's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. You thought your cartoonishly evil pseudo-husband was bad? Hah, you know absolutely nothing, you stupid little thing. When Doflamingo scrapes you out of the crate instead of his little bipedal dog, he's confused - but he can put two and two together, and quickly at that. Obviously, you're not some assassin (really, what kind of strategy is that? Killing one of his family, making the body disapear and then wait for him to appear? Hilariously bad, honestly), not some spy and you really, really aren't the one who's supposed to sit in that cage. And when you start crying the moment he asks you what the hell you're doing here, he knows this isn't intentional. At all. Another once-over, a look at your weird little outfit, at the clunky stone on your hand and it clicks - he only knows one man with a similar taste in clothing and jewelry. Would you look at that, it's Crocodile's well-kept (and apparently not-so-little) secret. Reality can be stranger than fiction, huh? He's real nice after that epiphany. Too nice. Sits you down with a cup of tea like you're old friends, seats himself across from you, legs perched on the table while he smiles. Chats. Laughs. Acts overly familiar. It's bizarre to witness - but he's trying to glean what exactly you, the little teary-eyed butterball you are, offer Crocodile over him. Really, he's a little hurt: you're drab and soggy and soft in more ways than one, you cower and snivel in front of him like some beaten dog. The only fact that saves you from being mind-numbingly boring is that you're immensely valuable to Crocodile - and it makes ideas pop up in his head. He really likes the way you're stunned into silence when he suddenly uses his powers to immobilize you, right as you're in the middle of talking. And he gets why Crocodile keeps you around when you're bent over the table and he fucks you until you're just a sobbing mess. It's at least a little different from his usual endeavours and he takes his sweet time with you, leaves some evidence for the other man to discover later on. Once the mix-up is solved, Doflamingo hands you back dressed entirely in pink and with a thousand yard stare in your eyes. Will ask Crocodile about you every time he sees him from then on, a shit-eating grin on his face while the other almost loses it.

On the other hand, family pet does pretty well, considering the circumstances. I'd even argue it's the best you've been in years - because someone is treating you like an actual person, for once. Even if they aren't being kind. Crocodile is wary, of course - every single member of Doflamingo's posse is not to be taken lightly - but he also knows you. The fucking bird dragged you into official meetings enough for you to be a familiar face to him. He's furious, seething, beyond angry - but it's not necessarily directed at you. Doflamingo has to be behind all of this, he's sure of it, and you're just the collateral. (Admittedly, weird collateral, as you're the apple of Doflamingo's eye, always kept on his arm, cooed at, just treated like some ghoulish human pet, but who knows how the bird works? He sure as hell doesn't.) He'll probaby try to squeeze some information out of you (and when that doesn't help, he'll just plop you into a seastone cage and try to solve the mystery on his own. Yeah, he almost killed you minutes before - but then again, maybe you're worth something? He can always get rid of you later, maybe you do still have some value... He's feeling a lot of emotions, give him a minute.) Really, it's not that bad. You've been through worse. When everything is cleared up, I think he'd even let you take a bath and feed you a proper meal (on a plate!! A plate! Not a bowl!) before he'll trade you back in for his weirdly apathetic looking wife...

[bots-and-cons]

What type of soulmate AU do you think Optimus prime would have (timer, red string, tattoo, first words, etc), what are his opinions? Would he be opposed to meeting his soulmate? Would he try to avoid them? (Gn human reader preferably ^^)

Uuu, I’ve maybe done one soulmate thing in this blog, but I’m not sure. I really like soulmate AU stuff though and I feel like this was sort of funny to write. Idk if this is actually funny to anyone but me but hey, at least I had fun. Pretty long for HCs and might have gone a bit off track also, but eh. If you want to me to find the other soulmate thing you can ask but you can also just check the masterlist in the pinned post and look for it yourself, I’m pretty sure it’s an OP or a Ratchet one

•I think I like the whole first words thing for him

•Optimus was incredibly confused when he read the words etched onto his wrist for the first time

•To his surprise he didn’t understand a word, because it wasn’t cybertronian it was some language that was foreign to him at the time

•When he eventually came to earth and learned english he was quite perplexed by the fact that it was of a human language, a single word in english that decorated his wrist

•”Quack?” was what it said

•He of course soon realized this either meant his soulmate was a human, or some autobot or a decepticon he had yet to meet that was also on earth and was using english

•The sentence itself had him quite convinced that his soulmate was indeed a human

•Optimus of course turned out to be right about that

•You’d been wondering your whole damn life what the hell the words on your wrist meant

•What situation could you possibly get yourself into, where someone had to tell you “Duck!”

•There was an exclamation point and everything, so were you going to get attacked by a duck and someone was going to warn you or something

•A lot of people made fun of you because of the word you had, many people came up with all kinds of crazy/stupid scenarios for it, but you never really found any of them funny or realistic

•But none of them would come even close to how crazy it was when it actually happened

•Optimus honestly wished he wouldn’t meet you, he didn’t want another person he cared about for Megatron to hurt

•He got really anxious about it for a while, and when he did eventually meet you the anxiety got even worse

•So, how did you actually end up meeting your soulmate?

•It was just about the worst day of your life, you were out for a walk, because your head couldn’t handle being cooped up at home anymore and you ended in some remote part of a park on the edge of town

•You saw some weird lights in the woods nearby and your curiosity got the better of you so you went to investigate

•You had no idea what you were looking at at first

•There were these light projectiles going back and forth and the sound of metal scraping on metal

•Then you heard it, someone yelling “Duck!” at you, you didn’t realize it was a command to move so you just meekly went “Quack?” because of course that’s a reasonable reaction

•Then you got swept of your feet by something very big and got pushed to the side

•Optimus just froze when he heard you say that, because he knew what it meant

•He’d found his soulmate in the first possible moment, in the middle of battle

•The autobots had to retreat and Optimus grabbed you to take you with him, because he couldn’t just leave you there with the cons, you were just a tiny human and they would’ve surely hurt you

•At some point you’d just closed your eyes and the next time you opened them was when you were set down on something soft

•You were sitting on a couch, in some place you didn’t recognize and surrounded by some huge robot looking things

•Since there was no one else around, you figured your soulmate had to be one of them, but since you’d closed your eyes, you hadn’t seen who’d talked to you before

•So you go taken in by the autobots, but it was weeks before Optimus admitted he was your soulmate, because he was terrified or the consequences 

•Optimus felt like if he didn’t tell you, you would be safer, that maybe you wouldn’t be targeted if nobody knew

•He most definitely did not want you to get involved with him, but of course fate had other plans

[forbidding-souda]

Yaaay! Requests!! Can you please do HC for Kazuichi Souda with a ditzy but cute SHSL Skater (Rollerbaldes, Skatebaords, etc). Can be romantic or platonic! Tytyty

Kazuichi Souda with a ditzy SHSL Skater S/O

i'm so excited to write this i hope this is good

my classes start tomorrow yippie and i'm getting a C badge in idv on wednesday yay yay

-Mod Souda

❤ His favorite thing is watching you just skate around the neighborhood on your rollerblades. You have a carefree look on your face and you're just in your own world, not caring if anybody is staring.

❤ ^ It's like watching an angel fly.

❤ ^ Still, it worry the shit out of him because of how you just skate around absentmindedly. He'll like oh my god plz babe don't crack your skull open.

❤ Your demeanor matches his aloofness perfectly.

❤ You two can boost each other up for all of eternity. Whenever he's down, you know just the right thing to say to make him feel better. But sometimes you don't need to say anything - your smile is enough. He loves you and cherishes you so so so much.

❤ You'll skate around the school halls too. Maybe you two first properly met by you crashing into him idk that would be funny.

❤ Have you ever seen the video of the boy in the mall asking the security guard "can I skate here?" and then running with the board in first position but never hoping on it. Let me find it. I know I have it saved on tiktok. That's you and Kaz.

❤ The two of you maneuvering around ice skating would be the cutest date ever.

❤ I imagine if you take him to skateparks that all the girls are gonna bask over him. I'm clinging onto the idea that Kaz can't skate so I think it would be funny seeing him give them the ick when he can't even stably stand on a board.

❤ ^ Free my man he ain't do shit.

❤ ^ He's be better on motorcycles though. Bikes. Those cool bicycles at skateparks is him. And then you show him up and he's humbled.

❤ His favorite thing is when you do a cool trick and then land on the front two wheels instead of all four and he's like yes. That's the love of my life.

❤ You know how in Hope's Peak the students have to do one of those showcases proving they still have an Ultimate ability. Imagine Souda sitting in on yours and just yelling "do an ollie!"

❤ If he gets to leave grease stains in the house then you get to leave skate tracks. Fairs fair.

❤ Imagine how dirty both of your shoes are.

❤ When he goes to sleep at night, even if you're sleeping right next to him, he can hear the sound of wheels against concrete in the back of his mind.

❤ He gets along with Mikan a little better ever since she started having to put bandages on your scrapes (it's never that deep, but he insists) (he knows first aid but he's literally friends with the Ultimate Nurse so). If you don't like Mikan then he's going to do it for you. He doesn't care if you're good at first aid. He wants to help. It's the least he could do.

❤ Dude wait so you know in the beginning of Legally Blonde how she's riding through the neighborhood and she passes all the frat houses and shit. Imagine a sequence like that but it's you skating through campus and all of the different Ultimates are passing by.

[silverbladexyz]

hi! i see u often write hc's but do u take one-shot requests as well? if not, then pls feel free to ignore this!

i'd like to request for a dazai x fem!reader one-shot in which reader is a new member of the ADA and when dazai sees her for the first time, he instantly feels smth like love at first sight (yea ik it's cheesy sorry idk how to word it🥲). reader just shrugs off his not-so-occasional flirting and just casually thanks him when he gives her compliments cus she's heard stories about this side of him (being a playboy, womanizer etc) so she thinks he's just treating her like how he usually treats any pretty girl he sees, not knowing dazai is actually far smitten and is srsly head over heels for her lol

tysm!!!

Anon I'm so so sorry that this took so long!! This idea is quite nice since flirty Dazai is funny ahahaha. I tried my best with this oneshot :’).

The image used is not mine. It belongs to it's original owner.

TW: Mentions of suicide (Dazai)

Dazai with a fem!reader who thinks that he's just a friend

"Oh, Dazai-san, have you heard of the new recruit that's joining us tomorrow?"

Dazai looked up at Tanizaki, eyebrows slightly raised in interest. It seemed that everybody except for him knew the news, however Dazai knew perfectly well that it was because he ditched work too often.

No matter. He'd just ask Atsushi to fill him in on the news.

"A new recruit? Since when?"

"Since a few days ago... but you were too busy jumping into the river and I had to fetch you, and I somehow scraped myself pulling you out, and I had to be treated by Yosano-sensei..." Tanizaki shuddered as he recalled the 'treatment' that Yosano had given him.

"Go on. The new recruit?"

"Ah, right! She's Haruno's cousin, and she's just turned 20. She's currently studying criminology and criminal psychology, and her grades are at the top of her year level. I haven't met her yet, but she seems like a nice person." Tanizaki said.

"I see... that's so amazing! I finally would have a new double suicide partner! Ah, I simply cannot wait for tomorrow!" Dazai's eyes sparkled in excitement as Tanizaki laughed nervously, however a familiar green notebook whacked the top of Dazai's head.

"Stop it, you idiot. You don't want to scare her off on her first day tomorrow, and the Agency's already received so many complaints because of you! And as for the double suicide, I'll wring your neck with my own fingers, how about that?!" Kunikida reprimanded, while Dazai pouted childishly.

"But Kunikida-kuuun! I've been waiting for months for a beautiful lady to come by the Agency, and I've already gotten the ideal double suicide spot! Ne, do you want to hear about it? It's a lovely spot near Yokohama where-"

"I don't want to hear about your suicide antics or whatever! Just make sure that you behave yourself tomorrow, or else I'll actually wring your neck myself!"

Tanizaki laughed nervously as he watched the banter between the two Armed Detective Agency employees. He sure hoped that Dazai wouldn't scare off the new girl tomorrow, because then the Agency would have an enraged Kunikida out for a certain suicidal maniac's blood and it certainly would not be a sight to see.

~~~

“Welcome, Y/N L/N, to the Armed Detective Agency.”

When Dazai saw the girl who entered through the door, his chest seized and it suddenly felt very hot.

Oh no. Oh no no no no. Don’t tell me that I’m-

You raised your head, smiling the sweetest smile that made one’s heart melt when they looked at it.

“Feel free to call me Y/N, everyone. I hope that I will be able to make friends with everybody and contribute well to the Armed Detective Agency.” Your voice was impossibly sweet and clear, as if every melody in the world belonged to you. Those dashing E/C eyes and gorgeous H/C hair contributed even more to your beautiful self in general. Dazai felt his heart leap.

Yup. He was undeniably crushing on you.

~~~

A few months had gone by since you started working at the Armed Detective Agency, and you were liking it so far.

Yosano and Naomi had become your best friends, with Tanizaki and Kyouka close behind. Atsushi was still a little shy around you, but he liked talking with you. Ranpo talked about his cases a lot, Haruno kept losing her cat, and Kunikida was forever fed up with Dazai’s antics.

Speaking of Dazai, the suicidal maniac was quite energetic and flirtatious around you. He would cunningly turn situations into pickup lines, and complimented you everyday. You would’ve been flustered and perhaps even catching feelings for him were it not the fact that he was a womaniser and a playboy. Haruno had warned you about this side of him, because she didn’t want to see her cousin hurt and broken-hearted because of Dazai.

Unbeknownst to you, everybody in the Agency could clearly see how big of a crush Dazai had on you. Every time you forgot something he would bring it, whenever it was the end of the week there was always a gift of some sort lying on your office table, and not to mention he would actually do his paperwork when you asked him to. Kunikida was glad that you were keeping Dazai in check, however he himself was already wishing that Dazai would confess to you and for you to return the suicidal maniac’s feelings, because everybody was frankly a bit scared of Dazai acting non-Dazai like.

It was one lazy afternoon when Dazai approached you, looking quite confident and... different. The rest of the Agency quickly caught on to what was going to happen, and held their breaths, hoping that it would be successful. You looked up towards the man, your expression innocent and oblivious.

“May I help you, Dazai-san?” You asked in that sweet and beautiful voice that sent Dazai’s heart beating at 205bpm.

He took your hand and laid a kiss on it. You were slightly confused at this new behaviour, but you brushed it off, thinking that Dazai was just playfully flirting with you again. This wasn’t the first time that he held your hand, afterall.

“My belladonna... you’re as graceful and elegant like a swan in a crystal lake. You were the only one who could make me fall into the longing passion called love. So I ask you,” he leaned closer.

“Would you return my feelings of affection, and we may finally be the lovers that we were always destined to be?”

You had to fight to keep your blush in, because even though you harboured no romantic feelings for Dazai, he sure knew how to make you flustered and make your heartbeat quicken. You smiled, and opened your mouth to answer him, not noticing the tension building around the room.

“You’re really nice, Dazai-san. I really must say...” Everybody seemed to lean forward, desperate to hear a ‘yes’ from you.

“You’re such a fun friend to me.”

And with that, the entire Armed Detective Agency, even the Director himself, let out a huge, collective sigh at Dazai’s (and theirs) misfortune.

Hope you enjoyed, even though this is so bad ;-;

@pixyys @pianotross @nekokinax @yuugen-benni @xxelfmamaxx  @catzlivedforbsd @ashthemadwriter