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#idk if the british slang is right
yooo-lets-go · 10 months
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Oooh how do Ghost and Soap get together in your stories???
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Smooth operator
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pr0wlerpunk · 10 months
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Would they love you as a worm?
And how would they react?
(Platonic!)
Gn!reader
Some of these are short and I’m sorry for that, wrote this at 1:am and I didn’t rlly feel like adding or fixing anything ☹️
Warnings: Slight atsv spoilers!!!, really bad British slang(someone please help), idk if the terms I used for hobie are actual British slang or not….nor do I know how to spell them if they are☹️
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Earth-1610!Miles Morales- Definitely(but he Misses human you)
🕷️miles would ABSOLUTELY love you as a worm.
🕷️somehow someway you turn into a worm and miles is so protective.
🕷️I’m talkin’ like dude would keep you so safe, with a little terrarium filled with fresh soil and plants.
🕷️feel like he would also spend nights talkin’ to you and just spilling his problems out.
🕷️one time he got scared that his mom threw you out but she had just moved you…yea he almost had a heart attack
——
“Mom, where’s my little jar I had on my window?”
“Oh uhm….I honestly don’t remember where I put it..”
“…”
“Miles?”
And he’s already gone to look for you around the house.
It took him a hour but he finally found you…in a cabinet.
That night he spent singing sunflower to you
——
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Earth-42!Miles Morales- Kinda(he had to think about it)
⛓️ miles would have to warm up to you.
⛓️like 1610 miles, you somehow turn into a worm.
⛓️at first he thinks it’s a joke…but as time moves on he realizes you’re a worm.
⛓️he definitely would keep you safe though.
⛓️like he would keep you fed and made sure you didn’t dry out.
⛓️but like he doesn’t do the whole talk thing.
⛓️the only time he talks to you is when he’s checking on you(like twice a day)
⛓️he definitely hides you from his uncle.
⛓️he’s not ashamed he just doesn’t want to explain how you became a worm because even he doesn’t know.
⛓️though if Aaron ever found out I think he would just stare at miles and walk away.
——
“Yo miles, cmon man we gotta do a ru-”
“…” “…”
“Miles why is there a worm on your desk?…”
“I know it looks weird!!, but somehow [___] got turned into a worm..”
“…”
“Yea… we not doin’ no run today…you can just stay here with uhm…yo worm”
“Yo! Unc, it ain’t Like that!!”
But Aaron’s already out the door
And miles is left as heat flushes his now embarrassing face
——
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Hobie Brown- Doesn’t care(but yes)
🎸hobie doesnt care, Like literally it’s your life.
🎸but, he is one of them that would carry you in his pocket.
🎸like dude has a full on pocket full of damp soil just for you.(that’s how he keeps you safe)
🎸he doesn’t know how you got turned into a worm, but like I said earlier he honestly doesn’t care.
🎸if you wanna be a worm…he ain’t gonna stop you.
🎸like 1610!miles, he definitely would talk to you.
🎸like full on conversations though.
🎸like he’s asking you questions and everyone’s just staring thinking he’s finally lost his marbles.
——
“So I was tellin’ bloke-”
“Ay hobie, who’re you talking to?”
“Bruva, you’re tellin’ me you don’t see [___] right er’???”
“…no?”
“That’s botched huh luv?!”
Yea they never came back…
——
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Gwen Stacy- Not at first(but she does)
🎵she actually thinks you look stupid at first.
🎵she blames however you got like this on you or miles.
🎵she definitely thought you were ugly.
🎵but then she gets to care for you and ends up loving you.
🎵not the best at protecting you but please don’t be hard on her.
🎵she gets mad when someone tries to mess with you.
🎵like it’s kinda scary.
🎵I’m talkin’ bout full on glare, eyebrows furrowed, right nostril flared and lip curved up slightly.
🎵one day she caught a spider person tapping your glass and she got pissed.
——
“Ay!, why’re tapping the glass?”
“Oh, uhm.!”
“Move. This isn’t a zoo”
“Right! S-sorry!”
“…”
“You ok [___]?”
All in all everyone knew not to mess with Gwen and her worm friend.
——
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Jessica Drew- Yes(shes basically your mom now)
🤰🏾she absolutely loves you.
🤰🏾plus she thought it’d be easy practice for when she pops her baby.
🤰🏾is the type to tell someone she has a kid and then show them you
🤰🏾she’s definitely always checking on you.
🤰🏾protects you like a mom should.(kinda)
🤰🏾she cried when she lost you.
🤰🏾one day she set you down to grab a drink and when she came back you were gone.
——
“I’ll be right back [___], don’t move!”
5 minutes later…
“[___]?….[___]!??”
“E-excuse me, but has anyone seen [___]??”
“Uh, who?”
“Their a worm, and they were right here!”
She ended up finding you with Peter B and mayday
She realized this was harder than she originally thought…
——
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Miguel- No(He Acts Like he hates you, but secretly would do anything for you)
🕸️dude definitely almost stepped on you once or twice.
🕸️Bros the Type of Person to yell at you After he almost stepped on you.
🕸️but like once he warms up to you he’s definitely carrying you everywhere.
🕸️Like Bro wouldn’t trust you😭.
🕸️or for that matter anyone.
🕸️Like one time, he let Peter B watch You And when he came back mayday was about to eat you.
——
“I got it dude”
“Are You sure You can Watch [___]?”
“Yes now go..literally you’re ruining the mood right now”
10 Minutes later…
“I’m back-”
“PETER!?”
“What!, What!?”
“Your child almost ate [___]…”
“…”
“I’m sorry?”
“…Hijo de puta…”
“Yea i deserve that…”
——
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Pav- Yes(He wants to keep you forever..)
🪀Bro thinks you’re the cutest thing hes ever Seen
🪀he definitely calls you his little wormy
🪀he would keep you safe in a while mini House
🪀Like Bro made it And Everything
🪀he doesn’t want you to Turm Back Human
🪀Like…Ever 💀
🪀he definitely Rants to you about EVERYTHING
🪀he told you how miles called Chai, “chai tea”
——
“So im sitting there right And he just Says….Chai tea…”
“LIKE CMON MAN”
“PAV WHO ARE YOU TALKIN TO??!”
“NO ONE MAMA!”
His mom thinks he has an imaginary friend now….
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Tags: @alisblackgf
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lovelyela · 3 months
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she's thunderstorms || theodore nott x fem!reader
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synopsis: you and theo smoke session, loosely based off 'shes thunderstorms' by arctic monkeys
ela’s note: i felt like writing a song fic and my best friend is like in love with theo and arctic monkeys so i decided to try n write something ! :D hopefully you guys enjoy this!
warnings: use of y/n, smoking, cursing (?), fluff, bad descriptions of smoking (i dont smoke so idk wtf im talking about), mentions of cheating, bad british slang attempt (im also not british), implied slytherin!reader BUT it never actually says it so like whatever, inappropriate teenage boy jokes, time jump, lazy ending :p
word count: 1.1k
・❥・
the rain made the pavement darker than it was, the lightning flickered and the thunder hushed the party going on inside the slytherin common room.
theodore was in the hallway, sitting on the windowsill while taking a smoke break.
mattheo was busy on the dancefloor, flirting with girls and getting drunk and whatnot, so theo was alone with his thoughts for the smoke.
he inhaled the grey smoke, letting it sit for a little before exhaling slowly. his eyes were glazed over, allowing himself to relax.
the booming sound hit again, dampening the laughter and chatter theodore could barely hear.
he closed his eyes, allowing the effects of the weed to settle in. the peace and quiet settled in until footsteps approached him.
"do you have another?" a voice rang though his ears, taking him out of his trance, it was you.
"what?" he asked, taken aback and caught off guard by you.
"do you have another blunt i can have?" you clarified.
"oh, yeah- yeah, of course." he replied, "here." he said, taking a rolled sheet filled with weed.
"thank you." you replied, taking the bud and putting it between your lips. theo took the lighter he had out of his pocket, holding it a few inches from you, signaling that he was ready whenever you were.
carefully, you put your face a little closer to the flame, just enough for the end of the blunt to ignite an addicting burnt orange color.
you slumped up against the wall, sliding onto the floor.
theo watched as you took another drag, letting the smoke take its effect on you this time.
"what are you doing alone?" theo asked, which he regretted immediately, as it sounded like he was a complete and utter creep. "i mean, why have you decided to take a break from the party?"
your eyes fluttered open before answering, "i found out the guy i've been talking to had a girlfriend the entire time." you answered honestly, not showing a single sign of emotion. "i've been feeling foolish about it so i figured i'd take some air."
the boy hummed, "dickhead." he muttered loud enough for you to hear.
"definitely." your eyes shut again, still allowing the weed to settle in.
"what's your name?" theo asked, genuinely curious. he had seen you around before, you two were in a few classes together as well, but the both of you had never spoken.
"it's y/n y/l/n." you replied, holding the rolled paper between your index and middle. you already knew who he was. whenever snape would pick on him in your potions class, he would use his name, so you caught on. "and you're theodore nott, right?"
"yeah- yup, you're correct. just theo works too, though," he stumbled, being caught of guard by your knowledge on him. why was his heart speeding up so fast?
"i didn't ask, what are you doing here alone?" you questioned, "i thought you had that whole big and mighty friend group."
"i do, i just..." he trailed off, "wanted to take a smoke break." he shrugged.
"i get that," you sighed. "the rain is bad, don't you think?" you switched the conversation to the ruthless storm outside.
"i guess, yeah," theo said, his blunt long forgotten.
"i like the rain," you shrugged.
"yeah? i guess it can be nice sometimes, it's stunning." theo replied, looking back at you while you stare out the window. he managed to get a good look at you this time, you wore black baggy jeans, an off-the-shoulder ghost band t-shirt, and black motorcycle boots. you left your hair down and it was a bit ruffled from dancing in the slytherin common room.
you let out a cloud of smoke, "do you have a staring problem?" you joked. you felt his eyes piercing through your skin.
"uh- sorry." he said, heart racing even faster when he realized he had been caught, "you just don't seem like other girls."
"ew," you coughed, nearly choking on foggy air when he said that. "never say that again," you stated.
"you like being like everyone else?" he questioned, curious on your reaction.
"i think everyone is a bit different from each other." you said, "plus what you said was cringe."
"huh." he breathed, "my apologies."
"you're good," you said, standing up, "i'll see you around."
theo stood up quickly too, not knowing wether he should reach out a hand or go in for a hug or walk with you. "yeah, for sure." he choked out, cursing himself for the new awkwardness he had never encountered before you.
you shot him a smile before walking back into the party.
・❥・
theo walked into the slytherin common room, his best friends already yelling and joking around. he took a seat on a couch next to draco, facing mattheo and lorenzo.
"what's up, lads?" he greeted the laughing boys.
"nott, where were you last night?" mattheo smirked, thinking the taller finally had some game.
"took a break outside." theo explained, making a smoking motion with his hand.
"well, you missed out." enzo added, "the party was crazy."
"y/l/n always knows how to put on a party." draco chuckled, remembering the events of last night.
"it was y/n's party?" theo wondered why he had never heard your name before the party.
"yes?" enzo nodded slowly, thinking it was common sense.
"she always throws a party before summer, before the heat gets too much, you really didn't know that?" mattheo said, tilting a head at him.
"speak of the devil." draco said as you walked in.
"did you guys do the potions homework?" you questioned as you got closer, slightly waving and smiling at theo to acknowledge him.
"blimey, it's the second time this week." draco rolled his eyes as he reached for his satchel, removing a piece of parchment covered in writing, "bring it back before tuesday."
"thanks, malfoy!" you drew out the y, smiling at the other boys as you walked out of the room, again.
once the doors thumped close, the boys began hollering at theo.
"we saw that, mate!" mattheo teased, "did you run off with y/l/n?" draco and enzo snickered as they saw his face turn red.
"no, she just joined me for a smoke last night, is all." theo said, shutting down the allegations that made his heart speed up and yearn for you.
"for sure." mattheo said before chatting about the party. something about enzo finally meeting someone he got along with and found attractive, and another thing about draco losing miserably at cup pong, and one more thing about him being able to dance with gorgeous girls.
theo wasn't really paying attention, though.
you were looping around his brain the entire time the boys talked.
you were thunderstorms.
・❥・
part two maybe? lmk!!
reblogs, likes, and replies are ALWAYS appreciated <3
dni if you support pro-life, racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, sexism or anything along those lines!
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mathquiz · 9 months
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➤ ⟣┄─ . ✧ ── LET'S GET FREAKY 【 Miguel O'hara thirst 】 sub bottom miguel. nsfw. reader has 2 dicks. (kinda snake) vemon! reader. miguel has a pussy. eating out miguel. reader is a bit silly.
Venom! Reader sneaks into spiderman headquarters and gets a bit silly.
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Miguel's strong thighs are wrapped tightly 'round your head, your long tongue burried deep within his pussy as obscene wet sounds resonate within the small room you're in. Your hands are grasping at Miguel's ass, making sure he can't move away from the endless pleasure you're given him.
Miguel's moaning, hasn't stopped since you went down on him, and his gripping at your hair as you continue you tongue fuck him and circle his clit (the pros of having an alien tongue).
"Ahhh— ahh, fuck.. Fuck..!"
His breath is laboured, squeezing his thighs tighter around your head as he feels his legs spasm, and it doesn't help the fact that he could see a bulge forming, from your tongue alone. Anytime you laugh, the vibrations are sent right to his pussy— and he's sure he's seeing stars by now.
"Ahh.. Spider's are ssho yummy." You have a goofy grin on your face as you lift your head from in between Miguel's thighs, his cum splattered all over your face and mouth— as if someone had thrown a carton of milk your way. Miguel can't help but blush at the view of you covered in all his fluids, feeling his pussy constrict around nothing as you easily tower over him. Your dicks visible as you glide it up and down Miguel's pussy.
"It's like a slidee.." You slur, watching as both your cocks easily glide up and down Miguel's wet folds, now covered with your own, oozing black cum. Miguel furrows his brows, a blush still covering his cheeks as he hooks his legs around you.
".. Nng.. Jus' put it in already..!" He hisses, sharp teeth visible as he tries to grind on you for any friction. You tut at his behaviour, shaking your head mockingly as you grab hold of his hips— easily holding him down (something that stirs up Miguel's core even more).
"Gotta knock first." You giggle, holding Miguel down with one hand as you take one of your dicks with the other— knocking it against his clit as you imitate the sound "Knock, knock."
You're sure Miguel will find some way to kill you, so you quickly do the same with your other dick before he can have the chance to register what happened and complain.
"You—"
You push both of your dicks in, relishing at the wet sound that soon follows, and the way Miguel becomes all choked up— eyes rolled to the back of his head as you keep his thighs wide open, pushing them further towards his own body until his knees touch his shoulder.
"Spider's so flexible too.."
Miguel feels his mouth open, but no sound comes out as you start your brutal thrusts to his pussy, rendering him breathless for a few seconds. He moans and whimpers, muttering Spanish words underneath his breath as you continue to fuck him— never once taking your eyes off of his form. It's not long before Miguel cums for what feels like the 19th time— and ends up tired as he tires to lock his legs around your waist.
"Fuckin.. Hell.."
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all my works r rushed and unedited but don't think with your brain but think with your dick 😞
maybe doing a part two but with hobie ☝ but then again idk british slang.
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notquitecanon · 5 months
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Look at you // Moonknight system x reader
Summary: Three words, three men. Crazy how it meant something so different coming from each of them. You cherish them all.
TW: Marvel's version of DID, sexual mentions through out, jake's section is just smut sorry I'm a whore, fingering, oral (f receiving), no use of Y/N, I don't think I mentioned specific pronouns but I used feminine descriptions of genitalia, terrible and overused Spanish. terrible and overused British slang. mentions of penetrative sex and male receiving oral. Marc is touch starved and self sabotaging but what's new? criminal overuse of italics I think that's everything worth mentioning?
I typed this up In like 30 minutes after the idea came to me. There are typos + I've never written for the moon boys before (idk how I literally never stop thinking about them) Anyways on with it:
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Steven says it like he’s won a prize. His eyes light up with that amazing grin, and he holds his hands out to you like you are about to hand him whatever the archeology equivalent of a Nobel Prize is- except in this metaphor you’re also the trophy. He says it often- when he sees you in a new outfit or hair style for the first time, when he greets you after not seeing you for a couple days, when you step out of the steamy bathroom in a towel, when he’s had one too many pints at the pub and the light is hitting your eyes just right, when you kneel between his legs and look up at him. 
“Look at you!” His voice is somewhere between breathless and a growl, yet still chipper and awestruck. His eyes are roving over you as if he can’t find a favorite part about you, and he can’t- it’d be like comparing wonders of the world, “Darlin’, you look absolutely stunnin’!”  He inched closer, hands reaching out to you. You couldn't tell if it was a demand for you to close the distance or hesitation that you might not allow him to touch you. And while Steven could be fun to tease, you weren’t cruel… usually. His eyes still couldn't settle, but they kept flicking nervously- hopefully- back up to yours, “You didn’t do all this for me, did you, luv?”  “All for you, Steven.” You promised, taking his hand and placing it on your hip. His breath catches as he starts feeling the delicious fabric and he didn't wait for permission for his other hand to roam up to your hair. His eyes were still roaming, no the better word was analyzing you like you were the depiction of an ancient deity come to life. He nodded as his breath became heavy, and the sweet thing almost melted when you reach up and brush a curl from his face. He might have had wandering eyes but you had wandering hands, cupping his cheek then dragging down his neck, down his chest to the hem of that sweater you so often stole, and then underneath just to drag back up his bare chest.  “All for me, don’t know how lucked into you. Bit hard to believe, innit?” He rambled but you let him for only a moment. You playfully smacked his ribs under his shirt. It wasn’t hard to believe at all, you’d told him a thousand times just how lucky you were to have him. He breathed a laugh, shook his head, and apologized quietly. You smiled softly, reaching towards him to press a kiss to his jawline, then his cheek, and finally his lips.  When you pulled back, Steven surprisingly wasn’t still leaning into the contact like usual. This time his chocolate eyes start at your feet and rake up, painstakingly slow, “Look. at. you.”
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Jake says it like he’s proving you wrong- he usually is. His smirk is as smug and irritating as it is thrilling, his eyes darken like a predator about to pounce, and his fingers flex like he’s focusing all his energy on not pouncing too quick. When something he picked out looks just right on you, when he sneaks up on you just enough to see you startle, when he makes a flush creep up your neck, when he pins you while teaching you self defense, when he pries out 'one last' orgasm after you were sure you couldn’t do it again. 
“Look at you, mi amor.” Jake teased, as if he wasn’t the reason you were the mess you had become. His strong arms were the only reason you weren’t boneless on the mattress as he held you up enough to see your reflection in corner mirror- you idly wondered if Steven and Marc were enjoying the show. Jake was grinning and his eyes are practically danced as they took in every last inch of your shaking body. If you had anymore control over your body (which you obviously don’t), you’d smack that smirk right off his smug face- and Jake would've probably liked it, the deviant, “Follame, dulce nina, lo haces tan facil.”  Unfortunately, you didn't have much control at that moment. That much was obvious to both of you (and probably your neighbors). In fact, all you had been able to manage between moans were breathy ‘pleases’ and screams of Jake’s name. Instead, you clung to him the best you could, leaving claw marks down his shoulders. Your knees had knocked back together, clamping his hand between your thighs- still too cock dumb to realize that was part of the problem. Trapping those evil but delicious fingers next to your throbbing core as you writhed through the most recent wave of pleasure. You hear Jake’s cool chuckle, but when you look at him- both of him… shit when did your eyes cross?- he’s still just watching you.  He is kind enough to wait until your eyes uncross edand your breathing to evened out before he swatted your thigh, just hard enough to make you gasp before you realized what he wanted. You couldn't even be embarrassed when he lifted it up and your slick almost shimmered on his hand in the low light.  Jake's grin was wolfish, clearly proud of his work as he rounded the corner of the bed. Leaning over you, his lips ghosted over your sweat dropped forehead and then your own swollen lips. His large hands took purchase at the soft flesh of your hips, squeezing as a warning before quickly, efficiently tugging you down to the foot of the bed where he took to his knees.  “One more for me.” It wasn’t a question or a request- a statement. You shook your head, but didn’t tell him to stop- you didn’t want him to stop but you genuinely didn’t think he could make you come again. From between your twitching thighs, he simply arced a brow. “Don’t believe me, princesa?” "Told you." Minutes later, he emerged victorious from the vice of your thighs, nose and chin practically dripping as he grinned up at you. Your fingers were still knotted in his curls as your chest heaved, stars dancing in your vision as you gasped or maybe you were screaming… you couldn’t tell. All you knew was Jake and the little circles he was rubbing on your knees with his thumb as you came back to Earth.  Jake’s dark eyes watched you like you were a living piece of art, voice rasping and zealous, yet still holding that annoyingly familiar ‘i told you so’ candor, “Dios mios, Look at you.” 
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Marc says it like it just might save him. His eyes soften and his shoulders lose some tension, like the weight of the world (moon?) lessens when you’re around, and if you’re really lucky, you might catch a small, sweet, relieved smile. When you say such pretty things while he’s inside of you, when he comes home and your making enough dinner for two, when you open the curtains in the morning and the light shines in, when he looks up at you with his head on your lap and your fingers toying with his curls,  when you first wake up and the first thing you do is sleepily smile at him, and sometimes, most times, when he’s not even fronting when he’s watching as a fly on the wall as you are just as gentle and loving with Jake and Steven. 
“Look at you.” Marc whispered it, it was intimate, reverent. Like he hadn’t even meant to say it out loud. His head was in his lap and he’d been somewhere between half awake and mostly asleep for the better part of the afternoon. Jake had run the body ragged while he fronted, and now with Marc at the wheel all he wanted was to rest and be near you- not necessarily in that order. So, he didn’t argue nearly as much as usual when you simply pulled him onto the couch and pushed his had to you lap where you played with his dark curls until he went limp, sprawled over the overstuffed yet still too small couch Steven had chosen for the flat. It was comical how his long legs hung over the arm and back of the sofa, one arm draping over you and the other hanging off so his knuckles grazed the floor. But Marc knew how to be grateful, knew how to realize when he got more than the thought he deserved.  This was good. You were good. And he had known plenty of bad, so for the moment he’d soak up your good like a plant soaks up sunshine.  In between long blinks, he had watched you with soft eyes as you rotated from your latest book, scrolling on your phone, and whatever show you’d throw on the TV. Sometimes you were humming as you read or muttering comments about your show. Your free hand was twisting his curls, combing across his scalp, and occasionally gently drifting down to rub his back. God, you were a fucking angel. How could he not look at you?  “What about me?” You asked, quiet but bemused, magic fingers tracing from his hair to rest at his chin so you could see his eyes. Softer than usual. Your smile was reassuring, a promise this was real. A promise he was actually here. That he deserved to be. Marc sighed. He could wax poetic at you for the next four hours and not even cover his opening remarks on how grateful he was for you, why he didn’t deserve you, and what he’d do to keep you. But he also knew how upset it made you when he talked like that, so instead, he shook his head slightly, burrowing even closer into you if that were possibly before tugging you down to meet his lips briefly, “Someone’s feeling sentimental today. Everything alright?”  “Perfect, baby, perfect.” He promised, still openly staring. You shook your head, hiding behind your book, but Marc gently pushed the pages to the side, “How could I not be, just… look at you."
______
translations:
mi amor: my love
follame, dulce nina, lo haces tan facil: fuck me, sweet girl, you make it too easy
Princesa: Princess
Dios Mios: My God / Oh my God
I'm gonna be so real with y'all I know the Spanish words need the accent marks but consider the fact that I am dumb and can't figure that out yet. Did I put three gifs to distract y'all? yes. also he's pretty. sue me.
Anyways sorry if this sucked laugh out loud
the boys during this
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ink4blotches · 9 months
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Pav x spider reader who is from spider-punks world and is like a little sister to hobie but likes Pav cause I need more Pav fics 😭😭
I gotchu anon ;) I'll probably be asleep when this uploads but just so you know I was rolling around in my bed writing this simply because Hobie's British in this is so bad so please forgive that little...thing.
Synopsis/Feels: Reader is Hobie's little sis but not by blood but u can't rlly tell, bad British slang beware, clueless Pav, mentions of Tom Holland(TW), etc.
Word Ct.:667
Without further ado...
Spider-Who?(Pavitr Prabhakar x Reader)
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"Woah, he's awesome..." I sigh in amazement as I watch Pav swoop through the streets of Mumbattan.
"Mumbattan has the worst traffic I tell ya...aye, wot er you lookin at, kid?" Hobie asks as he realizes I've got my eyes focused on the streets below.
"Just...stuff..." I dodge his question as I take a bite of my scone, courtesy of your 2nd favorite Brit. It's me, I'm the 1st favorite Brit of course.
"Too right...you ready to skedaddle back to our universe kid? I miss me guitar." Hobie shrugs, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"Er...yeh, I guess." I sigh, watching as Hobie opens a portal(idk how the portal thing works Sue me).
"Hey guys! Leaving so soon?" Pav suddenly lands next to us, looking flawlessly perfect despite fighting a whole villain just a second ago.
"Yeh, sorry mate but yer universe is borin...right kid?" Hobie asks me. I barely hear him and decide to disregard it in favor of staring at Pav.
"Kid? Hello? Yer brain get hit with a rock...?" Hobie asks, popping me in the back of my head.
"I'm good! I'm great. Sorry, were said what you?" I immediately realize my sentence makes no sense as Pav and Hobie both look at me in confusion.
Hobie locks eyes with me.
Don't look at Pav, don't look at Pav, don't look at Pav...
My eyes dart to Pav and quickly go back to Hobie's.
FUCK.
"Oh, I gotcha...lil bugger's got a crush. Ain't that a bitch...wild how he ain't even from your own universe." Hobie says casually.
"What? Is it someone from the Spider Society?! Miles? Or Gwen?" Pav starts throwing out random names of teenage Spider-Men from the society.
"Wait...don't tell me it's....Miguel?!" Pav looks at me in disgust for a second before I shoot a web at his mouth.
As I watch Pavitr try to pry the web off Hobie pulls me to the side.
"C'mon, you gotta pick another. Love Pav, but he's...y'know....Pav." Hobie trails off, assuming I understand him.
"Well yeh, but he's also...Pav, y'know?" I argue slightly.
"Right and I get that...but he's Pav." Hobie complains to me, his grip on my shoulder tightening.
"I'm not gonna have this conversation with you Hobart. Don't you have taxes to file?" I ask with an eye roll.
"Fine, fine!" Hobie holds both his hands up in surrender. "You gonna tell 'im soon? Might have to spell it out since he's...Pav." Hobie shrugs.
"You mean you don't care?" I ask with a raise of my eyebrow.
"Course not kid. He might be Pav, but 'e's also Pav." Hobie emphasizes his words like it'll magically make sense.
"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Pav asks, finally joining us.
I give Hobie a silent plead.
"Nun much...I was bout to head back. Kid said she wants to stay awhile though." Hobie lies.
For reference I was thinking it but I didn't want to say it.
"Oh, great! I can show you my favorite street food stands and where the stray dogs are and where all the traffic is!"
"Oh. Where all the traffic is...great. Can't wait." I try to fake being excited.
"Catch you later, bugger. Try not to get pied off loser!" Hobie does a small salute before stepping through an open portal.
"Huh...? What does pied off mean?" Pav asks with an eyebrow raise.
"Nothing! Nothing at all...honestly it doesn't mean anything." I lie straight to Pav's face.
"...I don't believe you." Pav replies with suspicion in his eyes.
"Uhhhh....oh my god, is that Tom Holland?" I gasp loudly and point at the streets below us.
Pav's neck almost snaps as he looks.
"What?! Where?!"
Phew. Safe. Nailed it.
I watch as Pav swings down to the streets to find Tom Holland, who was never there in the first place.
I'll tell him. One day. But today is not the day.
•••••••••••
TAGLIST: @ihearthxh @sweetheartlizzie07 @the-vulcan
MASTERLIST
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kortsitron · 29 days
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Spider saviour
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✮ PARING Hobie Brown × Gender Neutral! Reader
✮ WARNINGS/TAGS stalking, acrophobia (fear of heights), drabble(?), bad cockney slang ig (I am not British), shy!(?) Hobie
✮ SUMMARY  It seems someone is following you, luckily Hobie notices and won't let anything happen to you
✮ A/N might do part two idk
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chalk (chalk farms) - arms
Gregory (Gregory peck) - neck
hunky-dory - alright, fine
boat (boat-race) - face
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It was a long day for you. Work, groceries, all of that boring stuff you had to do. But luckily it was all over and you couldn't wait to get home.
But you couldn't.
You've been wandering around London for a while. Because you felt like you've been followed. Wherever you went, there was always this weird man. Always near, always watching your every little move.
At first you thought it was just a silly coincidence, nothing to worry about.
But the longer you wandered, the more afraid you were. You were indeed followed. You didn't want to look back at him, it left an unpleasant shiver down your spine. You felt his eyes on you, a wave of disgust went through your whole body.
You wanted to get home so bad, to get to your safe space, but you were scared he might follow you there. You were in a state of panic. Especially since it was slowly getting dark and the situation could get out of hand really quickly.
You pulled out your phone, calling the first number that was shown in your contacts. You pleaded they were going to answer the phone. You just wanted it to end.
“Please, please, please…” You muttered into the phone. You barely heard your own voice, your heartbeat was so loud in your ears.
Hobie was spraying the wall when he heard your quivering voice, begging that someone would pick up the phone. He then noticed the guy, walking right after you, getting closer and closer.
The spray cans were forgotten, wherever they landed, they were going to be left. Hobie covered his face with his mask, before using his webs to get to you.
Spider-Punk landed right in front of you with a loud thud. You jumped and squeaked, your phone almost fell out of your hand. Hobie immediately apologized for scaring you.
“Didn't mean to scare ya, mate.” He said with his deep, almost hypnotizing voice. His eyes went from your face to the man behind who stopped in his tracks.
“Someone's following ya.” He added, putting his arm around you before you started walking again.
“I-I noticed. I-I tried to call someone, b-but no one is picking u-up the phone. I just… I wanna get home…” Hobie was feeling bad for you, especially when he heard how shaky your voice got. He couldn't just leave you like that.
“Put your chalk* around me Gregory*.” Spider-Punk said without a second thought. You didn't need to be told twice either. You put your arms around his neck like asked.
Hobie felt how fast your heart was beating, compared to his. He bit his lip, kinda glad that you couldn't see his face. He didn't even know you, but he knew he wanted to keep you safe from the moment he heard you plead.
The next thing you felt was a big hand on your waist, it made you feel safe almost instantly. And before you could even melt into his hand, Spider-Punk used his web to pull both of you off the ground.
Hobie felt your arms tightened around his neck momentarily. “You okay?” His hand tightened his grip as a response, only to get you to bury your face in his neck. He quickly understood. Heights.
“Everything's hunky-dory*, mate. Just gimme me your address and I'll take ya there.” His voice sounded softer than before. “I got ya.”
You told him your address, and soon you two were in front of the flat. Your legs were finally back on the ground and you felt relieved. You let go of Spider-Punk, but his hand didn't leave your waist just yet. The grip wasn't even close to being as tight as before, tips of his fingers barely touched your waist. 
Hobie wasn't sure why he kept his hand on you. Maybe it was because of how protective he got of you, he didn't know. He just wanted to stay near you.
“Thank you for the help.” You said with a little blush as he kept his hand on you. “Uh… your hand..”
Hobie took his hand back immediately, looking away. “Apologies.” He folded his arms together on his chest, trying to act cool and like he wasn't getting fluttered. He looked back at you. “I am glad you're safe.”
You gave a shy little nod. You needed some time to calm down from the unpleasant situation, he understood that. He needed some time to himself after tough or tiring days.
“Stay safe out there, ‘kay?” Hobie shifted his weight from one leg to another. “I hope you’re going to be hunky-dory. Would want something bad to happen to such a cute boat*.”
You blushed even more. Hobie saw your shocked expression and felt like he was going too far.
“Apologies, mate. Didn't mean to–” 
“It's fine. I didn't expect you to find me cute.” He was so glad he had a mask on. Normally, he was calm and collected, but for a strange reason you were making him flustered.
“Ya are, obviously. Look at ya.” He watched your face get redder than his mask. “Gotta go. Like I said, stay safe.” He said, before turning away and using his web. Soon, he disappeared out of your sight and you couldn't help but giggle. 
You wondered if this was the last time you two were going to interact or were going to be flirted with by Spider-Punk again.
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k4marina · 10 months
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guesss who’s back to rantttttt 🙈
adding into this, i feel that simon wearing his mask (with the diy skull and the printed one) would do the complete opposite of being a ghost like literally. technically, simon riley is dead. he died in a fire with his family and the last thing he needs or wants is attention.
i mean can u imagine the rumors going around?
“that bloke who wears that skull mask? he’s bare weird man” (idek if that proper slang, pls don’t kill me).
i also feel like it would also bring unwanted people from his work to his home (or the little hole he lives in. i mean let’s be honest, it’s pretty fkn bare). there aren’t many people who are british, have a gravely voice, AND wear a skull mask. i mean that’s an easy target right there.
i don’t think that simon would introduce himself in a civilian setting as “ghost”. if a guy came up to me and said “call me ghost” i’d fkn laugh in his face and call him a bozo.
why would he introduce himself with his callsign if he isn’t in the “work” environment???? again that’s just unwanted attention.
i 100% believe that simon and the rest of the 141 are the types to have a work life and a civilian life. he wouldn’t want to bring any of the shit he has to go through at work back to his hole home.
as much as he hates being alone back in manchester, he still needs it. he needs a break from all of the war he has to go through.
ghost and simon are two different entities with two different lives and just because simon riley is dead on paper doesn’t mean he’s actually gone.
simon knows that if he brings ghost back home he’s only hurting himself and falling into a bottomless pit.
that’s why he wouldn’t wear the mask in public or anytime he’s on leave (unless it’s his home and there has to be a very specific reason why), and that’s why he wouldn’t walk around telling people his callsign.
unless the fic is taking place on base with a soldier!reader, there is no actual reason why simon would wear the mask and go by ghost.
ghost & mask = work
simon & and bare face = home or just civilian life.
there’s no reason why he would want to mix work and civilian life together.
and if people can say that he’s insecure about his face and don’t want to show it off, but i’d have to disagree. i mean did u hear him when he was talking with soap?
bro was 100% smiling like a cocky little shit when he said “quiet the opposite”. this mfer knows that he’s hot and enjoys it. in my delulu mind, i think simon enjoys whatever scars are on his face because he thinks they make him more hotter (i also don’t think he has that many scars on his face bc i think it’s one of the hardest places to attack idk).
that’s still not to say that he won’t get the usual waves of depression and the usual stares from people for his beauty and scars, but he’d still take it over the weird looks when he gets when he wears the mask.
technically speaking, no matter how attractive, it’s harder to remember someone with a pretty face and accurately described it than remember a mask and describe it, which i think simon understands completely.
someone also brought up the cut scene before the “no russian” one of where simons and the 141 are in the bar and he’s wearing the mask.
i have to agree with the person who said this that people saw that and took it face value that he wears the mask outside. not everything is lore, or is it 100% cannon. sometimes some things are for shits and giggles.
if you’ve read it this far i just wanna let y’all’s know i’m not trying to be mean. i’m just ranting. i’m all for creative freedom and wanting ppl to write whatever they want, i just want it to make sense yk? and if i came off bitch my bad bro.
anyways imma go sleep or smt. caio ;)
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k1t-ska · 10 months
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Confessing is Hard(Hobie Brown x f! reader)
(Hiiiii, I’m super new to Tumblr, like this is literally my first post ever but I felt like writing a Hobie x reader bc atsv was fucking awesome. Also, I love reading fics but sometimes I can’t find fics about shit I want to read so I’ve taken it upon myself for me just to do it! So yeah, this is my first fic, and I started writing this at 2:13 am 😓SO KEEP THAT IN MIND!!!!!!! anyways moving on!)(Also, I wanna make this a series but dunno)
(quick) Summary: You recently(if 11 months ago counts as recent?!?!?!?) became spider-woman on earth-420(not a real one I think, just a random number) and a few months ago were asked to join the spider society. You became quick friends with Hobie and Pavitr, yet Hobie can’t seem but to want to be a little more than just friends, but he’s too much of a pussy to fess up and tell you how he really feels.🙄But so are you so can one of you just man up and do it already god.
wc: 787
(sorry if Hobie seems ooc, idk much British slang and don’t feel like learning bc this is pretty short and yk fuck the British jkjk)
*~*~*~*
I never really realized how pretty Nueva York was until I became spider-woman. 
Granted I’ve never had access to every rooftop in the city until I got bit by that radioactive spider but still, I’m able to see a city I’ve known my whole life in a new light. But honestly, if I’m really thinking about it-
A voice cuts my thinking off. “Hellooooooo, earth to y/n!!!” There’s a hand with long, lanky fingers waving in front of me. Shit. I forgot I wasn’t alone.
I focus my attention on my spider-friends. “Shit sorry Hobie, what’s up?” I’ve been spacing off a lot more frequently lately, I can tell Hobie and Pav have been getting annoyed by it. 
“Not much, we were just talking and you spaced out mid-conversation. Everything alright buggy?”
“Yup!” Nope. “Everything’s fine!” But it’s really not. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Because you’re in love with your best friend? “Just a little,” A lot. “on my mind. You know, Spider things, school, friends, family.” You. 
“Well me and Pav got’s to go. Right, Pav?” He didn’t believe me. I could tell in his voice.
“Oh yeah! Right!”
“Well, see you later bugs.” He turns around and steps through a portal with our shared friend. 
Wait when did that get there? Ugh, whatever. ‘Bugs’ That’s a cute nickname. ‘Buggy’ I never really gave it much thought before. But now. Having these new feelings. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it out of my head.
~~2 hours ago~~
Since I became Spider-Woman, one of my favorite pastimes is just swinging around Nueva York mindlessly. It’s even more fun with company. Which is where the scene lays out. Me and my two favorite Spider-men, Hobie and Pav, Racing around Nueva York. The last person to make it to the roof on top of my apartment from my dorm at Visions has to pay for takeout. First Place gets to choose what we get.
Obviously, I won, Pav coming in second, with Hobie behind him by a bit. He never tries at these kinds of games so Pav and I take that to our advantage. We make it to the rooftop, I blanket I laid out this morning still there. We all sit, order food (Hobie doesn’t even have to ask what I want, he just knows), chat, eat, and chat even more. It’s nice. Peaceful. I always seem to be at peace whenever I’m with Hobie. Always seem to space out.
We were talking about something. I can’t seem to remember what it was. Which is odd. I’m usually a pretty attentive listener, but something about the way Hobie’s looked so enchanting. Had he always been this… pretty? Wow, he has a lot of piercings. Wait. What? Why am I thinking about this? He’s your friend y/n! Snap out of it! Think about something else! Like uhhhh, you have a chem test tomorrow! You should probably be studying for that. Eh, whatever I'll do fine. Hobie’s eyes are like actually really pretty. Shit, fuck, we made eye contact, crap!! Omg uhh, the sky! Wait, the sunsets like actually really pretty tonight. And omg the lights in all the buildings just illuminate the sky even more! 
I never really realized how pretty Nueva York was until I became spider-woman. 
*~*~*~*
(AHHHH, this is so ass but wtv I did this in less than an hour. It is now 3:09. GOOD NIGHT!)
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whinlatter · 1 month
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do british people actually say grand instead of great???? bc i have british friends, and ive heard them say it, but idk if it's a regional thing. forum i found says it's either an irish thing or northern english????????? basically a roundabout way of asking if you think it's something mr harry jp would say.
xoxo a confused american girl
‘grand’ is a lovely term that some british and irish people absolutely do use! but you’re right that in england its usage is mostly regional (mostly northern, maybe in the pockets of the rural west/south west too). for that reason it’s not something harry would use, having grown up in surrey, one of the ‘home counties’ that ring around london, where people tend to speak with something more like a casual form of the RP english accent, maybe with slightly more of a london twang to it. ‘grand’ is one of those adjectives that’s got some class markers attached to it as well - i think the only character who uses it canonically is hagrid, who gets given an assortment of different slang that’s actually from all over the uk but that’s supposed to convey he’s not well spoken, and evoke ideas of a character who comes from the rural poor. i’m sorry rob hjp of a chance to exclaim ‘that’s grand’! but hope this helps !!!
xoxo british girl who made it all about class again
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fuckyeahpunkflower · 10 months
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I"d also like to apologize for any prior cringe post i may have done in the spur of the moment that was completely out of character for Miles or Hobie. I was just so hype to make something for this ship ☠😩 I'm gonna try to be better about their characteristics and dynamics in future posts. Also any good resources someone could recommend for learning more about wht true punk is? I think it'd be nice if we could all help each other when it comes to certain topics we're not familiar with :) Also Also, please send help for the British slang/ Cockney accent I have NO CLUE WHERE TO BEGIN!! I wanna do Hobie right damn it but idk nothing of British slang. Would really appreciate some help on that end 😭😭 any way let's uplift punkflower as much as we can after all this age discourse ( until we get any confirmation on Hobie's age, please be respectful and at least try to be understanding to anyone in the punkflower tag. If you personally hate the ship please keep scrolling and leave people out of it. thats all I ask 😊)
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random-cryptid · 1 month
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*crashes in here* ok ik i havent been here in a bajillion years and i am so sorry for that and unloading a small novel on you dgkdgkh
but i had the dumbest thought. imagine tryna teach the sanderson's modern stuff. cuz i just saw a selfship post that said something along the lines of studying with your fo (fictional other. like a significant other, but its a fictional character instead of an actual human sgshdh) and now all i can think about is attempting to teach winnie, mary, and sarah all the stuff ive learned over the years
im not sure who'd find which subjects the most interesting. i dont have any art textbooks but i do have some notes from art history and waaayyy too many art supplies and i'd be happy to teach mary and sarah about art history and how to use some of the things i have (assuming i remember how to use thems). i think winnie would be fascinated by science! theres some branches of it like chemistry that feel a lot like magic, but i.... dont have access to things like that nor the smarts to even attempt to do chem (i do have access to vids so theres that at least), so it'd be hard to teach her that. i do have some anatomy and biology books that i think she'd like, and i have so many space books and i am dying to share them with all three of them holy dhit.
as for history, i think all three of them would be fascinated by it. theres been so many things that have happened since they died the first time around as well as so much that happened before they were born or happened when they were young but on the other side of the world.
plus, maybe some of what im talking to them about would help stick in my own brain easier so thats a bonus!
I am SO SORRY I'm answering this right now, but the past few weeks have been hectic to say the least 😭 I started Swedish clases lol.
Anyway YES I AGREE Mary but Sarah especially would be so interested in art methinks. Actually I believe Sarah is interested in fashion in some way (I hc that she made her own clothes and helped make Winnie's gown). And YES Winnie is so woman in STEM to me 😩 however I failed Chemistry every single year of high school lol BUT I was top of my class on Biology 😎 and actually think Sarah and Mary would be interested in Biology, although for different reasons (one for cooking and the other well... torture 😅).
OH YEAH HISTORY THAT'S SO FUN I think maybe they have an interest in different eras, Mary is definitely more of a contemporary girl (the way she picks up modern slang??? Scary). Winnie might be obsessed with the British Royal Family ngl 😭 I wonder what she'll think of Princess Diana. Now Sarah I'm not sure what she would enjoy from History 🤔 I mean ig fashion history or something idk 😭😭😭
ALSO ACTUALLY I REMEMBER WATCHING AN ALCHEMY VIDEO and it's pretty much Chemistry so. I think Mary would enjoy Chemistry too but maybe a different branch. Medicinal Chemistry perhaps? While Winnie is more of a Environmental Chemistry girl (since she literally can shoot lightning from her fingers I wouldn't be surprised she wanted to make a contraption to... Idk shoot fire as hot as the fucking sun)
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wowowwild · 2 months
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Thank you so much for not despising Nahyuta they're so special to me, could you do them for the character ask? (I also love that you're a Nahyuta nb truther.)
I just think they're interesting.
Character Ask
Favorite thing about them: 
Least favorite thing about them: I think they were done dirty by the writing tbh. (explanation)
Favorite line: Look, ik it's basic, but "A business card…? Ah, yes. I read about this custom among businessmen in this country. I have even familiarized myself with the various replies. "How do you do, good sir?" or, "What's crack-a-lackin', homie?" for example." Who told them that? Who told them that was an acceptable response to a business card? Bc that person is def in my top 10 favs.
brOTP: They should be bros with Athena methinks. They would be menaces together.
OTP: Blackmadhi is so good for me. I can also get behind Skyemadhi, and could even potentially see... idk what it's called. xKlavier. You know the one. It intrigues me as a concept, I would have to explore it further. Also, also, the one where Ema is dating Nahyuta and Maya but Nahyuta and Maya are just silly pals by @u3pxx. I think that's nice.
nOTP: Idk who they even get shipped with outside of those. I know in the Japanese version Apollo and Nahyuta are stated to be childhood friends rather than siblings but I don't know the rest of the context through out the game so I can't really say one way or the other, but in the English version this ship would definitely squick me, however I'm not sure how many/if any people who have played only the English version actually ship this, I've only seen it from people who have played the Japanese version.
Random headcanon: This right here. And also they take learning American slang very seriously, and then also British slang to figure out what Blackquill is saying. Except they learned the really old stuff too and part of their self imposed homework was watching Twitch streamers and now they're really into mcyt. This is going to be so funny when my own post crosses my dash and is filtered out for having mcyt in it (I don't dislike it, I'm just not interested and the posts tend to be long so I can scroll past quicker like this.)
Unpopular opinion: I don't even know. Apparently liking them? I mean if you take them as they are in canon, I mean being and active participant in everything that was going is, uh... bad. But I don't really treat anything from 5+6 as strictly canon anyway so it doesn't matter.
Song I associate with them: I don't have one for them specifically really. I feel bad I have to keep not having anything for this question. Rec me all your songs, I want them.
Favorite picture of them: There's one where someone drew them with a sideways baseball cap on at burger barn. The hat is red. idk where it is. I may find it. Edit: I found it and 100% misremembered most of it but here. Also basically any art by @ministarfruit or @kuranne88.
I also love this concept art fit:
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mayhemakinguser · 1 year
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Cod MW2 Incorrect Quotes bc
Y/N is mostly gender neutral unless specified
Most of these I used from a generator bc my lazy ass couldnt be creative
Is also american because Idk british + Scottish slang 😭
Ghost: you're so short, not even the enemy can see you
Y/n about to pull some slick sh**: well, why don't you put some inches in me then?
Soap: bloody hell-
Ghost: ...Request accepted
Y/n: wait hold on wait a minute
Rodolfo: Have you done this before? Gaz: Well, Rodolfo, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Y/N : That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things. Rodolfo: I don't read, Gaz.
Y/N : Alejandro got into a fight. Captain Price: That’s bad. Captain Price: Captain Price: Did he win?
Captain Price, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! Soap: Moose Tracks is good! Y/N: What the fuck is that!? Soap : *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- Y/N: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. Soap and Captain Price: what? Y/N: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? Soap: You done now? Y/N: Yeah ok. Soap and Captain Price: ... Y/N: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?
Alejandro: A mouse! Y/N, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Ghost, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal. Captain Price, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Soap, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Rodolfo: His name is Remi, dummy. Alejandro: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.
The squad right before going to Price's wedding
Ghost: well, I have a wedding to attend to.
Soap: oh, me too! I have a weddin' to go to!
Alejandro: Si, I have one to attend to too!
Rodolfo: I THINK WE ALL HAVE A WEDDING TO ATTEND
Y/N, panicked: I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
Gaz: WAIT ARENT YOU THE BRIDE
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coquelicoq · 10 months
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this post is brought to you by: la lettre b
[previously: la lettre A]
soooo i read all the B words in this french dictionary recently - ladies, please! one at a time when you propose marriage! - and boy are there tant de mots de ouf là-dedans !
stats
percentage of dico taken up by B words: 4.5%
percentage of dico read (as of the end of the B section): 12.8%
rate and duration: 3 pages/day for 11 days + part of the 12th day
total entries: 1608
rows added to my vocabulary spreadsheet: 335. this is considerably more than the number of A-word rows even though there are a lot more A words than B words. whoops!
semantic themes
for some reason, in the B section there were a few semantic categories that seemed to recur a lot. in some cases i think there might be some sound symbolism at work (ba is a common syllable in baby babbling, which could contribute to the frequency of words meaning "babble", "mumble", "prattle", etc. that start with b) but in other cases i haven't a clue.
verbs for speaking indistinctly: babiller, bafouiller, balbutier, baragouiner, barbouiller, bégayer, blablater, bredouiller
other speech verbs: baratiner (spiel), bavarder (chat), bavasser (chat), bonimenter (spiel)
words for trifles (trinkets and/or trivial matters): une babiole, une bagatelle, une breloque, une bricole, un brimborion, une broutille. i might also class et des bananes here
slang for head, face, and/or expression: une bille, une binette, une bobine, une bouille, une boule, une bourriche
slang for belly: un bidon, un bide, un buffet
slang for year: un balai (literally, broom), une berge (literally, riverbank). why? search me!!!
sudden exhaustion idioms: le coup de bambou (also means heatstroke), un coup de barre
verbs for animal noises: bêler, bourdonner, brailler, braire, bramer
i'm now about 50 pages into the Cs (i procrastinated this post lol) and there's a ton of slang for "head" starting with C as well. many of these are, like, names of fruits that are round, so pretty straightforward, but there's also carafe (carafe) and cafetière (coffeemaker). not really following the association there...but i digress.
page hogs
(entries taking up 1/6 of a page or more)
bas
battre
beau
bien
blanc
bon
bras
there are a lot of "bras" idioms ok!!
🤯 momence
une banane: obviously this means banana but i'm mainly interested in its "fanny pack" sense because when i was a child i had a fanny pack shaped like and decorated to resemble a banana...COINCIDENCE????
i haven't been writing all of these down but i like compounds like un bouche-trou (stand-in, stopgap; filler) and un brise-tout (butterfingers). see, french CAN make pithy little phrasal nouns without using de! just slap a verb conjugated in the third-person singular present indicative in front of a noun with a hyphen in the middle and voilà, new word. francophones idk what youre complaining about, this shits easy
french has you covered on slang for round or curved body parts with une boule (noggin; testicle) and un boule (ass; boob (in canada anyway)). no one tell fergie or she will find a way to make this about "my humps".
another situation where changing the gender gives you a different but related word: un brassière (bra) and une brassière (sports bra). this is fun for a holiday, but it's a good thing french doesn't make a habit of this or it would be so much harder to learn vocabulary!
favorite words to pronounce
baby-foot [babifut]
bombance [bɔ̃bɑ̃s]
bonbon [bɔ̃bɔ̃]
least favorite words to pronounce are badaud (because i always swap the vowels and say baudad instead) and bugle (i can do -gle at the end of a word but not right after a u for some reason) :(
favorite words period
un baby-foot: foosball table, foosball game. i have spoken previously about the spiritual experience of discovering that this word exists (see also french is a beautiful language and thank goodness the british are so boring). and it is the gift that keeps on giving because now whenever there's an awkward pause in a conversation i can just drop in this fun fact and immediately we're back in business. hey, don't cry. the french word for foosball table is baby-foot. ok?
une baguette: chopstick! of course baguette refers to basically anything baguette-shaped but i find this especially charming because in english baguette refers only to the bread, so it feels like they named chopsticks after iconic french bread rather than what's actually happened, which is that various baton-shaped things are all called "baton".
ça baigne ? / ça baigne ! and ça boume ? / ça boume !: like ça va but slangier! lord knows i'm always looking to slang up my small talk.
ça me barbe: one thing i am learning is that french has A LOT of ways to say that you are soooooo bored omg just dying of boredom. makes sense for a language in which the word for "boring" also means "annoying".
barder: to kick off, turn nasty, get heated, as in ça va barder ! (there'll be hell to pay / shit is gonna hit the fan!). so pithy.
bernique !: no way, not a chance! knowing that bernique as a noun means "limpet" only increases my enjoyment of this already great interjection.
chercher la petite bête: to nitpick. basically the same image as the english idiom but way cuter somehow.
bibi: yours truly. i need a francophone penpal stat so i can sign all my letters with this.
in english the same word means both "twice a month" and "every two months" which is just terrible design in my opinion. french has solved this problem with bimensuel(le) (twice a month) and bimestriel(le) (once every two months). now the only problem is i have no idea how i'm gonna remember which is which.
bœuf: fantastic, huge, great, impressive. reminds me of that verse in "foux du fafa" when bret is just saying the names of foods at the supermarket in french and goes "bœuuuuuf", which is arguably the best line of the entire song.
bon, je te laisse : well, i'd better get going / i'll leave you to it. finally, a way to say goodbye without sounding like a textbook from the 1950s!
c'est bonnet blanc et blanc bonnet: it's six of one, half a dozen of the other / tomayto, tomahto. i think what i like about this is both that it's a very handy phrase to know, but also from my perspective as a french learner it is not at all a given to me that "bonnet blanc" and "blanc bonnet" would be the same thing, because the position of adjectives in french does sometimes change the meaning! so it's also a lil ironic, which is fun and sexy imo.
bof: meh, nah. i say "meh" in english ALL the time, so this was a huge lacuna in my vocabulary. merci le robert de poche 😘
c'est le bouquet: that takes the cake / that's all i needed (ironic). always looking for ways to be sarcastic in my second language. i should probably get better at being sincere in french first before i start adding complications, but it's so hard to resist!
next up...81 pages of Cs!!! luckily i am already halfway through the C section or just seeing that number might be too intimidating. courage !
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hella1975 · 1 year
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accent enthusiast and yorkshire citizen here: tho posh pricks and classists attack regional accents (even though by nature these accents are arguably MORE english and retain more germanic features because of less education and/or more rurality, while they sound french) because they hate poor people, i am going to hypothesise that they are also racist
so. i assume youre northern by the sound of your h dropping. h dropping is a very white northern accent trait, people who grew up in places with a significant white majority. however, t dropping is very recent addition to working class northern english which originated with estuary english and spread across the country by ethnic minorities - mostly by second/third gen a. carribbean, south asian and polish people. this creates a new type of working class english which is unique to every city, every ethnicity and every household across britain. its called MBE (multicultural british english). it is usually spoken in places with diverse population. and although not much research has been done on these accents (apart from the one in london bc of fucking course), they are spoken by many many people.
mbe is usually a mix of a. carribbean, south asian, polish and regional slang amd accent features. but one defining characteristic is the t dropping. which again is a pretty new accent feature outside of london. so my hypothesis: they focus on the t dropping specifically because it's unique to ethnically diverse english.
i will talk accents with anyone for hours upon hours upon hours anon i am shaking u by the head for all ur thoughts rn. im not from up north! im a midlands girlie through and through, rural england right by the welsh border. mine is technically a rhotic accent with hints of welsh?? but my town in particular has much more welsh elements than midlands elements just bc of how close we are to the border?? idk my accent has been known to confuse people far and wide lol. the perks of being from the midlands truly.
everything you've said here is new to me, are there any sources/articles you could send me so i can read more? this seems super interesting!
i do however know a bit about midlands' accents/rural english accents, and from what i know of them, the 'dropping Ts' part of certain dialects has been present for centuries. it's called the glottal T (which is v funny to me bc saying that out loud on its own will reveal to people if you t-glottal or not). it's really hard to find out where this originated from and i cant speak for up north but ik in my area the general consensus is that it's just. always been around (which i know can't be true so again! if anyone has any sources or knows anything im such a nerd about these things so pls dont be shy!). still, i always thought it came from old english and a lot of influence from scots? and from my knowledge from its origins in england i always thought it did START with the rural areas like mine? alas for my own sanity i try not to research t-glottalling too much bc even the 5 mins i did for this to double check my facts had me seeing words like 'insidious' and 'lazy' and 'ugly' being thrown about literally bc of a single letter. like insidious are we being serious rn. someone tell barnaby from kent to take deep breaths.
the polish thing really interested me here though bc ive heard once or twice people say about my dialect/region that there are polish elements, and as someone who knows nothing about polish i couldn't really pinpoint to you what it was or anything but seeing it in your ask i was like !!!!! fr !!!!! it's interesting that this could be why people say that.
going back to h-dropping and t-glottalling, my region is actually RENOWNED for 'dropping letters and syllablles left right and centre' <- direct quote from someone trying to explain it lmao. like we've got very farmer accents to the point my flatmate once - very rudely - went on and ON about me having a west country accent and even when i explained it to her over and over that no just bc i have a RURAL accent doesnt mean it has to be west country, she still wouldn't let it go and tried to make a joke that my accent was 'inbred' bc of it. this is the flatmate i made cry and is now too scared to stay at our flat though so all is well <3 so yeah it's not just the northerners! even if we all have to suffer at the hands of the RP folk
the mbe thing is super interesting though bc while i dont know enough about it to speak on the letter dropping, i do know that my own accent has picked up a couple mbe features since coming to uni (mainly just new slang than actual accent but ive had to catch myself a couple times icl). not only is my uni city one of the most multicultural cities in england, but a lot of the student population are from london, which IS the most multicultural city in england. i know there's the stereotypical roadman accent that a lot of people tease about, but that is of course hugely inspired by the ethnicities you listed, particularly caribbean, and a lot of that comes right out of london. there's definitely something to be said about the fact that the people who most often get called chavs/get slated for being rough are also the ones who speak with that multicultural accent. like i WONDER what that's about
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