#idk it's just frustrating! And I'm actually not okay with it! I've dealt with my own stuff but my friends and even people I don't know-

[tricksterlatte]

I've always been fascinated by fandom history, and I know I'm not the only one. It's interesting to see how fans of pop culture can create a culture of their own, and in the modern age of social media and the internet in general, that culture is as widespread as ever. Unfortunately, that also means downsides are becoming bigger as this culture becomes widespread, and it's saddening to watch, maybe even concerning.

I don't discuss these things to be preachy, especially considering how I've fallen into several of these pitfalls before, and have perpetuated some of this behavior in the past. To say otherwise would make me a hypocrite and a liar, and I firmly believe this goes for most people in any fandom. I was just thinking about this recently, and how a lot of the biggest stressors in what should be our stress relief really can be pinned mostly into a few central talking points, which I would love to discuss to know if I'm not just going crazy here

The concept of Big Name Fan has evolved into a position of authority on fandom, which does not fall to anyone regarding subjectivity. No one in a fandom is an authority except the creators themselves, who have every right to stay away from the fandoms they have birthed.

Popularity in general being conflated to intellectual authority as well, especially on websites with public stats, particularly following counts. The algorithm is no benevolent god, but people will sometimes see someone with 30k followers and think they are correct on a minor non-issue that has spiraled into discourse, especially when compared to someone with 30 followers. This also is just...a bummer when fanon evolves into perceived canon, and newcomers to the fandom can't post even innocuous meta or headcanons without it being perceived as morally/intellectually incorrect.

Monetization of fanworks, but especially zines, have led to a hypercompetitive atmosphere that only escalates the bitterness and resentment. This is not a universal problem, but many zines across all fandoms habitually accept the same artists and writers, or diminish the value of fanfic due to the limitations of physical printing. The application process has devolved into such a disheartening debacle for a majority of people I see, and the way it is often framed as "your work just wasn't good enough" when it's really about what the mods deem mass marketable will destroy just about anyone's self-esteem after repetitive rejections, and will give some frequent zine runners a false sense of final say over the community (not usually, but it can happen).

The level of distrust for anyone new attempting to start a fan project is just so depressing nowadays (and this one we sadly can blame on a few people by name, but the ones who have sent this issue spiraling still don't care and that just sucks. I feel horrible for everyone who has been tricked).

Somehow comment and anonymous asks have gone backwards from "don't feed the trolls" to "suck it up, at least you're getting comments." I have seen some of these comments people have been told to suck up. It's not okay in general. It's particularly gross when it's an anonymous hate message unrelated to the fanworks themselves, perhaps born out of resentment or bearing an ulterior motive. And some will even attack and defame character due to identity. It's not subtle. It's not okay. People should absolutely be dunked on for this, and I gotta say I'm sick of unsolicited concrit being enforced as positive either. If they didn't ask, don't give it. There's a reason a lot of fic writers some people adore suddenly go ghost, and they can't even talk about it.

Don't like, don't read has been discarded in favor of don't like, tell others don't read and also don't write. Transformative works don't have to fit into a canon or even in character mold. That's why they're transformative! It's a different type of artistic expression. If you don't like it, chances are good it simply wasn't meant for you. It's not bad. Don't shame others, god especially not for non-issues such as a t/b preference or a different gender hc, preferred haircuts, types of animal you imagine them as in another lifetime, I could list literally anything here and I bet there has been a fandom fight over it.

Exclusive yet publicly advertised community Discords that will bar you from invite if you're not one of the cool kids. I have unfortunately fallen into this trap before, and refuse to ever enable or endorse that behavior ever again. This isn't about friend groups either, it's about fandom-dedicated servers that flaunt themselves as a VIP club instead of what they are: a friend group. I also don't even know how to broach the subject of private accounts that turn into fandom tea accounts with dozens if not hundreds of followers, only for people to be angry if someone isn't exactly okay with horrific stuff being said in general, let alone about their mutuals or friends.

I know none of this will likely ever change, and tbh i'm so tired of it all, but...does anyone else know what I mean? I'm stressed out whenever I try to enjoy myself, because popularity and a strange business mindset is steadily taking over fandom spaces. I'm not saying people should stop trying to make stuff that sells, or that people universally do any of this, but fandom is evolving into a thing I'm not sure is good. idk anymore

[searchupthisblog]

I think my relationship with my best friend is coming to an end and it makes me sad

It's not going out with a bang, but instead a drizzle

The damn is loosing water through a small crack, but it's been a while, so it's nearly empty

There wasn't a big fight, it's just...fading, horribly.

He's never honest with me anymore, he uses kid gloves with me in the most infuriating way, I hate being treated like a child because my life has done a 180, I hate that I feel like he's looking down on me despite the fact he would be homeless without the kindness of others. He's had it rough, very rough, I would never call him lucky, but his life has been filled with far more support than mine, so it feels like a slap in the face when he treats me this way. I hate feeling vindictive towards him, that in itself makes me angry and sad, but no matter what, our relationship is getting worse, not better. I can't stand him sometimes now, and that makes me want to cry. He's been my favorite person on the planet for so long. But he's so inattentive, so petty, so dishonest and emotionally distant now. I've tried to improve things, but it's been years of him putting so little into our relationship, and I don't know if I can do it anymore. I know he's dealing with a lot, I know he has it rough, and yet I feel like he's better to everyone else. I don't really know why he even keeps me around anymore. I always seem like an afterthought, an inconvenience. I just... I don't want to be around someone who can't handle my shit anymore. I try my best to keep my chronic illness and trauma from affecting everyone else, but sometimes I can't. And he can't handle it. He acts like he can, and he can't. I don't even know if he cares anymore, he seems more emotionally numbed to my situation than I do. He is so damn pessimistic, the world is always burning, and I know the way his brain is made just makes it that way, but it's so frustrating not being able to walk for 6 months and having him act like "thats just a thing that happens idk" I just feel so done I can't handle the lack of empathy, the avoidance, the not texting me back for weeks at a time. Taking care of him in high school was fine, I was okay with it, but now, I need someone to take care of me, and he cannot do that. It's okay, it isn't his fault, but I'm sad to see this end. And yet I feel relieved. And I think, I can never allow myself to be this close to someone this unstable ever again. Not because it's wrong to be unstable, but because I'm *always* expected to be the stable one. No matter what. And I can't do that to myself anymore. I'm literally incapable of doing that now. I have so many people to take care of, even in the state I'm in, I can't add another person who burns the world down every few months. Not again. I can't have friends like this again. I need people who can support me like I support them, I need people with empathy and compassion, and people who will actually talk to me. I need people who actually treat me like a friend, and I don't need this. I am tired of standing next to someone digging themselves into a hole as I try to shovel the dirt out, only to fall down into the hole with them. It is not his fault he was dealt these cards, but on some level, he needs to take some personal responsibility, and I can't make him do that.

[yelena-bellova]

Sad thing is that most of the people talking about Pam & Tommy are focused only on Lily and Sebastian. They repeat stuff like «Sebastian and Lily are going to hell for what they have done to Pam» and if anyone asks what they are talking about they just say that they made the show without Pam’s involvement. The anger is directed at the actors and that is as far as it goes. Even in articles about the uproar very few (if any) are elevating the discussion to a level where people will understand that this is not a problem that begins and ends with P&T. Articles aren’t mentioning the long list of biopics where the people portrayed (or their family) never wanted the movie made and felt the portrayal’s were wrong. Spencer is recieving Oscars buzz as we speak, but Diana’s sons did not approve and Harry hates the movie. We can’t condemn one concept and be silent when another just like it is recieving awards, not if we are serious and would like others to take us seriously. I’m afraid this practice will never end unless people start pushing back at creators and companies and not just actors. It’s like our generation only know how to attack individuals and not the system like people used to. Idk how we can change that, but unless we do this will all blow over and no lessons will be learned.

Hey, anon. This is so well worded, I was actually excited to answer it lol.

1: I agree. While it's perfectly acceptable to call out the actors, and I'll continue to, the studios, writers, directors and creators are just as responsible. I'm not seeing as much outrage over their roles in it, which I wish was different. Any opportunity I have, I try to make sure I include that they are at fault as well. I am frustrated with Sebastian's part in all this because he did watch the tape. I'm frustrated with Lily because as a feminist, it seems wrong to play a woman who does not desire her story to be told. Especially considering the traumatic events in the show...To me, it's an issue, but it's not the whole issue.

2: I, like many others I've talked to on here, was not aware just how many biopics have happened without the approval of their subjects. All of the ones I've watched (Bohemian Rhapsody, I Tonya, Rocketman, etc.) have all been approved by the subjects or, in the case of BoRhap, the surviving family members. Now knowing that plenty of them are done without the blessing of the people portrayed, I'm reevaluating whether or not biopics should be made in the first place. I mean, there's going to be a Fred Astaire biopic starring Tom Holland and Fred Astaire put a clause in his will that he never wanted to be portrayed in any movies. He said, "It is there because I have no particular desire to have my life misinterpreted, which it would be." How is Hollywood okay with ignoring the wishes of a dead man, much less one that help make the film industry what it is today?

I absolutely love what you said, "It’s like our generation only know how to attack individuals and not the system like people used to."

While I believe actors need to be called out for taking part in these kinds of projects, I do believe that the big picture problem lies with the studios that create the projects. I truly believe that in this day and age if enough people raise their voices, eventually the problem can be dealt with. But it will take a lot of work...

[yelenaisace]

thankyou for tagging me love <33 @becci-chan

(below because i don't want to spam people's dashboards"

Favourite Piece of Clothing You Own?

a black blouse with a square neck, just cause it's easy to style it with any pants (i don't like wearing skirts tbh) :) and i love how my necklace and my cleavage looks when i wear the top HEHE

Your Comfort Food?

sushi always <3 i always have a craving for it every 3/4 weeks heh

Favourite Time of Year?

listen, i live in a tropical climate HAHHAHA but hmmmm, probably monsoon seasons when it is raining more often than not! it's too damn hot here pls + i just love thundery showers in the evening/night/wee hours <3

Favourite Song?

as of right now, it would be me and the devil by soap&skin just cause this song has MAJOR vicious by v.e schwab vibes, and i had just finished reading that book last night so !! :)

Do You Collect Something?

I collect all the letters/notes/post-its people have given me since i was 11/12! im a very deeply sentimental person when it comes to things that are written to me, plus i like to look back on it and the memories attached to them :'"")

Favourite Drink?

coffee, idk why LOL. it honestly doesn't do anything for me, but i actually enjoy just making and drinking them

Favourite Fanfiction?

GIRL TOO MANY and I've primarily read stevetony fics since I was 16/17, so these are all stevetony bc I don't remember earlier ones from other fandoms

But okay uhh, I'll just choose 5 (omg it's so hard) also, I'm a huge angst and dark fic lover with endings that don't necessarily end well + mind the tags pls

1. the good days by romanoff (mcu!stevetony)

My Thoughts: what can i say about this fic that I have not already? This fic is so painful and I always reread this fic or honestly, any of romanoff's works when I need a good cry. I personally thought that they wrote depression really well in terms of showing how it hurts the people you love too, which is something that I personally feel I don't really see in other works. So 10/10 from me

2. Saudade by aslightstep (mcu!stevetony)

My Thoughts: This was THE post-cacw fic for me back in 2016, and it honestly still is in my top 3 of post-cacw stevetony fics. I felt that this fic dealt with the fallout of civil war in such a realistic manner. It's basically a "not a love story but a story about love" trope. And BOIII, it's so painful reading it because Steve & Tony clearly love each other still despite everything, but love really isn't enough to make a relationship work sometimes

3. Parody of Illusions by Imperium (616!stevetony)

My Thoughts: Marvel just never follow up on their storylines huh, but anyways this fic imo NAILS 616!Steve's characterisation. This fic deals with the fallout of Hydra!Cap and Steve's thoughts surrounding it. It honestly felt more like a character study with stevetony elements of course

4. parthanatos by ooka (616!stevetony)

My Thoughts: another fic that felt more like a character study than a relationship-centric one, but this time it's tony-centric. this fic is a canon divergent fic that led to tony having to adjust in the future, with only steve as company because the others have died. I thought the writing was superb and i just felt Tony's frustration, helplessness and grief immensely throughout

5. Where Our Restless Monsters Sleep by Mizzy (mcu!stevetony)

My Thoughts: everyone has their THE endgame fix-it fic, this is mine!! It's super long but it honestly did not feel like it. Not only did this fic felt like I was reading a published book with a fantastic plot and characterisations, it honestly felt like something that I can genuinely see happening 10 years (iirc?) in the MCU's future. Definitely a must-read!!!

tagging: @thahiree @docdracula @alwaysash13 @thorlokis and anyone who wishes to do it!! :))