#idk its hard to explain my thought process here

[blirpus]

recently ive been thinking that maybe the survey they make us take every now and then at work isnt actually done anonymously. ive been complaining about so much shit in these surveys 😀 last time i just skipped it completely but this time my boss kept asking if ive done it so i did it but i just skipped every question and sent that lol

[welldrawnfish]

How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

[ominoose]

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫-𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

Summary: Random drabble's about Steven Grant meeting other Oscar Isaac characters. No Marc or Jake co-concious, only referenced. Characters: Basil Stitt, Leto Atreides, Poe Dameron A/N: This randomly hit me and I wanted to write it because it was funny. Used a spinny wheel for it. Also idk if BB-8 can do that but now he can.

London was it's usual muggy, busy self as Steven ran down the street, hoping to catch the bus to work. It had been hard enough to get a job after the Museum Incident, but maintaining a position was proving to be a much harder endeavor between his abnormal sleeping patterns and head mates.

"Oi! Wait, please!" Steven was within touching distance just as the bus sped off, and at the lack of anything to rest his weight on or break his fall, the man found himself tumbling face first into traffic.

☽ 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐭 (Lightningface)

+ When Steven first wakes up in the apartment, his first thought is that he's woken up in a bomb site. The apartment is a mess, furniture and clothes strewn everywhere haphazardly. He's momentarily glad Marc isn't replying in his head, knowing the American would have an aneurysm over the state of the place.

+ Basil is the one to find Steven, jumping up from his spot on the couch and staring at him like he's an alien. The first thought in his mind is that Ricky the Monkey did some crazy magic and brought a clone to replace him. Poor Steven barely has a chance to process the situation before he's trying to calm his scarred, other American look alike down and explain his situation. Nothing manages to convince Basil there isn't some magic going on here, but he stops viewing Steven as an evil replacement.

+ After the initial shock and awkward introductions, they manage to sit down and chat for a few minutes. Basil shares the story of the lightning strike, insisting that its imbued him with magical powers. Steven, bless his heart, immediately believes this and boasts about his own moon powers too.

"You know, I've always wanted to try jumping off the roof and flying, have you done that?"

"Oh no, my mate Marc usually handles that, but maybe we can practice together? Have you got a suit as well?"

"Yeah, it's this paper bag and bed sheet I fixed up myself! C'mon, I have a stool on the balcony-"

"Wait, hang about.... Actually, mate, on second thoughts, lets not."

+ Steven ends up convincing Basil to properly fix his apartment, not just brush away the broken shards and dust. So that's what they do for a while, busying themselves as they theorize on how to get Steven back home with only a handful of brain cells between them. Basil listens with surprising intensity when Steven ends up branching off into Egyptology tangents, and likewise Steven nods along when Basil brings up all the documentaries he'd watched recently. In the end, the apartment does end up in much better shape, and the pair become quite chummy.

"Damn. Thanks for the help... Maybe I did overreact a bit."

"Yeah, it's no problem bruvs, it happens. Surprised the doctors didn't give you anymore meds, though I suppose over here its not like the NHS."

"Oh, no I didn't go to the hospital."

"...You wot?!"

𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 (Dune)

+ Coming to on hot, sandy slabs is enough of a trigger point to Steven Grant as they come. Coming to on hot, sandy slabs with weird astronauts in suits pointing space guns at him goes beyond frighting and circles back into 'Shit yourself' territory. Thankfully they seem to speak English. Unfortunately, his high pitched screams and babbling British noises don't make sense to them while they peer down their guns at him with confusion. It isn't until a booming voice draws everyone's attention that Steven gets a chance to breath.

+ Said breath is swiftly knocked back out of Stevens lungs when a wiser, nobler and older version of him walks into the room, commanding the attention of every single space soldier in the room. The man stares down at him as he lays huddled on the ground, curled into himself, and quirks a single well groomed eyebrow at him.

"I am Duke Leto of House Atreides. You have penetrated your way into my home. Who are you?"

"I-I-I'm S-Steven Grant. Of the... Giftshop."

The Duke continues his stony stare at Steven for a few seconds longer before holding out a calloused hand.

"Well Steven of the Giftshop, I think we both have many questions for one another, and hopefully some answers."

+ When Steven finally gets over being starstruck at the dignified, royal version of himself, and when Leto makes the accidental mistake of mentioning that they're billions of years in the future on another planet, Steven freaks out, having a 10 minute long panic attack. When that's over he geeks out instead, asking a million questions about technology, using apologies as commas and full stops.

"Do people still know about Khonshu in this era?!"

"I'm afraid I am not familiar with that name."

"Lucky sod."

+ Leto thinks the strange, weird sounding clone of himself is a schizophrenic long lost cousin, but at lease he isn't trying to kill him over a title. It's not as common in Arrakis, or the general noble courts, to find someone as earnest, honest and willing to learn as Steven seems to be, which earns him a surprising amount of respect from the Duke.

𝐏𝐨𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 (Star Wars)

+ Waking up in a space ship that's doing somersaults mid-battle while dodging and weaving around beams trying to explode it out of the sky was almost as stressful as waking up on a London bus at 8am. Commendably, Steven didn't scream or cry, but simply had a silent panic attack until a rolling white and orange ball started beeping at him, or rather the ridiculously handsome version of him currently flying the plane.

"Who the hell are you and how did you get on my cruiser?!"

"Bloody hell, not another handsome American me!"

"What?! BB-8, check for a concussion!"

+ After being given a water bottle by the polite little droid, Steven finally managed to calm himself down by the time the ship touch down and the pilot in matching droid colours sprang before him, launching question after question. When he clocked Stevens face, he was speechless, brows slowly knitting over his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was in front of him. Mid stare-down BB-8 nicked the Brits skin, running a quick diagnostic test and beeping the results out to the pilot who's eyebrows swiftly un-knitted at the noises.

+ Taking advantage of the silence, Steven tries to explain himself and his situation, insisting he comes in peace and simply wanted to get home before Donna got another excuse to give him the sack. The pilot finally introduced himself as Poe, the best pilot in the resistance at that, and with a sigh he promised to try and figure out how to get Steven back to whatever galaxy London was from.

+ Poe tries to explain the resistance and the empire to Steven, who in turn compares it to Ammits cult and jointly rants about those who take choice and freedom from the innocent. Poe is happy enough that his weird blood ancestor is with the resistance, even if he does constantly regard him with a quirked eyebrow, wondering how in the universe he managed to evolve from this walking concussion. For a second time Poe is rendered silent as Steven mentions being Moonknight.

"Oh yeah, I've done that too, at least those Jedi blokes doesn't send their jackals after you though!"

"You've... fought? In battle?"

"Course, yeah. Fought off giant gods back to the underworld, stopped the day of reckoning as the souls of the living were flooding the underworld. It was just the other day actually."

"...You killed god?!"

+ Steven absolutely adores BB-8 and Leia, a feeling the bot and all of the resistance seem to happily return, much to the dismay of Poe. Steven's quite flustered from all the attention and questions, leaving Poe to drag him away in a huff, claiming they need to get back to figuring out how to send him home. It feels like a babysitting gig more than anything, but deep down it strokes Poe's ego when Steven ooh's and ahh's at all his resistance tales.

[factual-fantasy]

I haaaasss 27 asks :}

Yes. Yes it does.

Thank you! :DD And yeah canon Gregory is just not my vibe man XD

(Traffic cone in question)

Thank you so much! :DD And yeah I try my best to get up and do something productive/different when I'm feeling down like that. My thought process is "well sitting here and sulking isn't making me feel any better so I should go and do something else" Which just so happened to be breaking out the old sewing kit and making a traffic cone?? XD Well to be fair I've made like 10 of those before but still an odd choice on my part-

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my cars artwork! :DD

And yeah I would draw cars stuff more often but they're just so hard to draw :(

Idk why they decided to jump into a DLC before fixing the base game, but man I really wish they wouldn't have. 😔

I'll do my best! :D

@tallchest13-blog

Yes :} or at least I've been trying to-

Thank you so much! And I did use a pattern to make him. Credit for the patten goes to Tammy Hallam, heres her video on how to make your own too! :}

@montygatorshusband

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

As for Glamrock Bonnie,, ehh, its a bit odd to me. Not a huge fan of the color pallet but its not the worst I've seen. I'd give it a 5.5 outa 10

ALSO! I believe Octonauts is streaming on Netflix, but I've also had some luck finding full episodes on YouTube :0

Thank you! And oh yeah, I feel you on the fandom part. XD That's why I'm still kind'a on the fence and haven't dove head first into my usual angsty stuff. I'm kind'a testing the waters with every post I make to see if I'll collide with the uh, other side of the fandom :x

Thank you! :DDD

Also Google is a search engine. :0 If you search for Octonauts fanart, its gonna do its job and search for fanart and likely find some of the stuff I made. Notice though that all of my artwork shown on Google links directly back to my blog. Its because Google isn't stealing it, its parting the branches of a bush and pointing "Look! Over there is some Octonauts fanart like you requested!" XD

@pinkbomb08

There isn't really anything Gregory can do for Bonnie..

Its hard to explain,, but I'll try. Bonnie is missing his leg from the middle of his shin down. So he cant stand up right like Foxy because- well duh, he's missing a whole foot.

So order to fix Bonnies leg so he can stand/walk like Foxy does, he would need an entire replacement foot with a working joint. This would also mean that the wires in Bonnies legs would have to be replaced and hooked up so that he can control said new foot.

Currently there are no spare parts around that fit Bonnies model.. and even if they did, Gregory wouldn't know how to properly re-wire an animatronic foot. He's smart but not THAT smart <XDD

The only thing Gregory could do is make Bonnie a weird peg leg that makes his current leg longer. Currently Bonnies half leg is shorter than his good leg. But in all honesty Bonnie doesn't really want that.

Having Gregory ducttape this weird goofy peg leg to him would be more embarrassing then what he already has. He'd probably want to salvage what ever dignity he has left and say "ah give it a rest. There's no point. My legs good enough for what its for." <:/

@taizarack

If I remember correctly... Sometime ago my tablet pen broke. And it took like 2-3 weeks for a new one to arrive. In the mean time I tried to make an art doll of sorts. That doll was Bibi!

I ended up making a lot of goofy posts with Bibi and I as I waited for my pen to arrive. Once it finally did and I went back to drawing comics, I ended making Bibi a reoccurring character. And he's been around ever since!

Now Jangles is a Halloween prop that I bought because I thought it was funny. I was practicing making quilts one time and I made a small blue one that just so happened to be the right size for him. So I put it on and then I thiiink I got the idea to add Jangles to my blog as a joke.? I gave Bibi a "new friend" to celebrate hitting 10,000 followers. The new friend was a cropped png of jangles XD

Eventually down the line I wanted to give Bibi an proper friend. So for Bibi's birthday I drew a comic where Jangles came to life and here we are XD

@pinkbomb08

Currently I am getting none of those things :x I have a cold so sleep and food is hard :( Thank you though! :D

@notsoliyah

:D AW!! Thank you! I'm so glad to hear how I've inspired you! :}}

@ur0neand0nly

XD Thank you so much! And don't worry, I'm pretty confident I'll draw him again someday

XD Thank you. To be honest I'm kind'a going back and fourth on this fandom. I don't really wanna be apart of the fandom, but the characters are the only thing I'm interested in drawing atm soo-

@ardent-38

Ooo these are interesting! Although absorbing power ups isn't about digesting them. Its something about being human specifically that allows them to absorb the powerups.. 👀👀👀

@maddiethehatter2192

My advice would be to use references religiously. That's what I did!

Also thank you! :DD

Barnaby for sure.

Well, my interpretation of him really-

@taizarack (Post in question)

@funky-frankie

No there's no SpongeBob comic, I just felt like drawing Mr. Krabs XD

Also THANK YOU!! :DD That means so much!! :}}}

@elegysonnet

<XD thank you. So far I have some pretty basic ones I imagine. Wally's house is alive and evil, Julie is actually a scary monster but has drastically altered her appearance to look less scary.. Sally is very celestial in nature because she's a real star, Eddie used to be a real human and bleeds and has a heart beat and what not.. uuuuuuh what elseeee,,, I liked to imagine that Sally and Julie came to the neighborhood when they were really young and Poppy kind'a adopted them?? Although I don't know how wide spread that idea is XD

Thank you! And yeah I'm not very fond of that portrayal either <XD As for your questions..

1: I'm sure there would be somethings that would push his anxiety to the surface. I'm not sure what they'd be but still- I imagine if Luigi was around to see it he would try to get Mario out of what ever situation he's in. If he's in a crowd he'd try to help him slip away unnoticed.

2: I'm not familiar with the giga bell, but if I did add it I'd imagine those would be the side effects yeah <XD Really sore and tired and cant really move for like 3 days :x

Remodeled or not, I wont be adding any of those animatronics to the Pizzaplex. I already wrote the entire past of this timeline, and those bots all already have a story in my AU. And with their given stories it wouldn't make sense for them to be added to the Pizzaplex.

Of course I cant spoil what those stories are, just know that I have my reasons-

Oh yeah I forgot to add the colored eye lids to Wally and Barnaby in that trampoline drawing <XD

And yeah! I wanted Wally to be much more expressive so I gave him eyebrows-

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Aw, thank you so much!! Its so cool to hear that you've shared my name with your friends!! :DD

[prototypesteve]

hi! I just came across your acc and read some of your posts and you seem a really inspiring individual. im a 18yo demisexual person who's really close to their queerness (both in the sexuality and gender aspects) as its a fundamental part of my individuality. and i dunno, both my being acespec and genderqueer are a tricky... thing to get into when i want to get into relationships. im trying to be happy by myself. and this was very random and all, but as you're an adult aroace (i see very very few of them) its inspiring to me knowing I can still have a good, normal life? while living in full authenticity. idk. sorry if this is random. you dont have to reply. your account was nice to come across. have a wonderful day

Thank you for this. This is why I’m here. Honestly this is most of why I came out. Seriously.

Being Different and “New”.

The world is catching up with you, so you’ll have to be patient sometimes. Language often outpaces feelings. People know how to address genderqueer (they know all the words) but they’re still learning how to process genderqueer (they’re deconstructing all the old gender “archetypes” and stereotypes they were taught by parents and teachers who didn’t address or process genderqueer in their day). They will figure it out, because they can see it’s real. But it’s frustrating, in the meantime.

Even our own community of LGBTQIA+ (in Canada we use 2SLGBTQIA+, leading with 2S for two-spirit) is catching up with us in a lot of ways. The queer community has largely thought of queer as for/about genderqueer, and so when they see aros and aces and demisexuals and demiromantics, they have to either accept or reject that there’s a whole other layer of queer called relationship queer who intersect and overlap with genderqueer inside the bigger (and for some “newly bigger”) queer category/world/thing.

Being alone.

Alone is a complicated word for us. Aspec people experience a few kinds of alone-ness. There’s completion, which allos sometimes don’t get. We’re complete inasmuch as aspec people don’t have as many spaces in their lives where they need an “other half,” even though many of us spend a lot of our lives being told we have that space and we need to fill it. I wrote about that, here.

Then there’s the way we can can feel isolated from the bigger queer world because of the ways some people refuse to accept asexuality and aromanticism as queer, because they see it as a cishet thing, somehow.

We can feel isolated from traditional communities built around faith, politics, ethnicity, national identity, or even generational identity (GenX was wiiiiildly amatonormative), all because our defining differences are falsely interpreted as “new”. People misread our orientation as a phase, or a “made up internet thing” even though we’ve always been here. For ages, the world didn’t want to talk about all the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and demiromantic people they could see everywhere—unlabelled, but plain as day—and now that we want to talk about ourselves, they’re going to say “you’re making that up”.

Then there’s the alone-ness of trying to explain how we do love, but differently. That one’s hard. I think that’s the one I’m going through the most, this year.

“See Also”:

Anyway, here’s a poorly-sorted and always growing “library” of links to my most popular social media posts, and stuff I’ve learned as an older ace. The recurring theme is that it really is going to be okay.

I’m still me, but now I know why. (How I explain my “thing” to straight friends who knew me from before I came out.)

Phase (You don’t outgrow it. I’m proof.)

Complete (Our complex relationship with “Alone”)

1994 (The counsellor story)

When I realized (Slow origin story)

Lifeline (Something bad happened to me when I was young, and believe it or not, Spider-Man rescued me.)

Recipe for Disaster (When life happens BEFORE you figure out your orientations)

Sexual Induction rather than a sexual awakening. (Things won’t always follow the romance novel playbook.)

Complicated. (Being queer AND Christian.)

Din Djarin Aroace Rep (We love. We just mostly do all the other kinds of love)

Treasure (a note to my trans friends)

Happy Ace Week (yes we’re here)

Masked (About not being out to everyone)

Negotiating (About gaining “acceptance” from the bigger queer community.

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[0witchy-bitch3]

ACOTAR spoilers ahead obvs. Unless you’ve finished A Court of Silver Flames, read at your own discretion.

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Very different post to what I normally make, but I just finished A Court of Silver Flames, moving onto Crescent City when they arrive, and I have a theory as to why Feyres pregnancy was so difficult to the point it almost killed her.

Im usually not a fan of the lethal pregnancy trope, so this theory is how I’ve explained SJMs choice in own my head. As its long been established that Feyre is extremely powerful, so the sudden flip to her bleeding to death during birth has to be justified in my mind.

I don’t know if this is an original theory, probably not as the books have been out a while with millions of readers, but I haven’t read it anywhere so here goes.

Feyres powers are an amalgamation of the kernels of power given to her by the 7 high lords of Prythian. They are what turned her Fae, but the abilities and strength she has are from 7 males.

We also know from ACOTAR and ToG that fae pregnancy’s are already hard on a naturally fae mother, which is why fae children are so rare.

None of the powers from the 7 lords will have had any connection to the fae birth process or would have provided any strength to help her through it, simply because they are men and do not possess that ability themselves.

Nothing in Feyres Fae transformation prepared her for the challenge that is a fae pregnancy, let alone with the added difficulty of the baby being part Illyrian. Which we know is basically a death sentence to a naturally born High Fae, let alone a mortal woman only endowed with male fae strengths.

We also know that Fae pregnancies gestate for 10 months as apposed to the human 9. However Nyx was born around 2 months premature. It isn’t rare for human babies to be born in the 8th month. Let alone when you combine all the factors her body would have gone through. We know that it was one of Nyxs wings tearing through Feyres womb that triggered the premature labor and all the blood loss described in the book. And that even will accelerated fae healing, she was close to death. That and the fact that her periods were so horrendous, means to me that her fae body was simply not well prepared to deal with the experiences only female fae go through.

This is in comparison to Nesta, who as a caldron made Fae, had no issue with her altered Fae period, as she was shaped by the source of the world itself and not just the male part. We do know that Feyre has a history of particularly unpleasant menstruation, which I think also played a part in the pregnancy complications. If she was already predisposed as a mortal to a risky pregnancy, finding herself birthing a part Illyrian Fae baby would justifiably create major complications.

We also know she conceived in her Illyrian form then shape shifted back to her High Fae body and was then prohibited from shifting again for fear of harming the baby. Which I kind of understand, maybe she’d accidentally absorb him idk? And at the end of the birth the healer says her anatomy was permanently changed to allow the birth of a winged baby, but personally that seems far to simple of a solution to what was made out to be an unavoidable demise.

When Nesta helped Feyre, there is mention that the Mothers hand had a part to play on Feyres survival. So much so that Nesta even got to retain some of her power simply because the Mother was so impressed by her sacrifice.

As it was the Mother who spilled the Cauldron, creating Prythian and the known world. My theory, is that the Mother endued Feyre with the power to birth fae life. A power she would not have received from the 7 high lords during her resurrection as a Fae, which lacked a seemingly necessary female involvement.

Again, this is just my theory do with it as you will. I would love to hear any thoughts people have about it! X

[unlimitedtrees]

making character sprites as a one-person indie game developer

(huh. turns out this post on cohost didnt have a “read me” section”. o well. i will put the read me section Here,  before any of da actual text. click it if u dare !!)

so, i've been meaning on making a Big post talkin all about how i actually Make my games and my processes n such ,but also ive been procrastinating on making it for so long that i thought i might as well just make One part of that post now .. and its about making the Character Sprites for my games .

So. these images are the (mostly) full sprite sheets of the three characters from my game UNITRES Dreams, taken directly from the big giant 'charactersprites.png' image that i used for nearly every sprite for Most of the game's development. some quick things to make note of: First off, Trees (the first one) was one of the earliest things i made for the game, and had their sprite sheet redone Twice since then.. this first picture doesnt contain the latest sprite sheet as the new sprites were done on aesprite and im too lazy to make a sprite sheet out of them right now.

Secondly, the Second character (the pink one), had two different designs, being completely redesigned as i didnt like their first design all too much. their redesign's animations was done in aesprite, but i made a sprite sheet out of em before so i was able to just put them here. Lastly, the Third character (the blue one with the big silly hat) remained mostly unchanged as their original sprites and design were pretty good, but they needed to be cleaned up and given better colors so i ended up polishing all of their sprites.

Anyways. it's going to be hard for me to explain my actual process, as i am Bad With Words, but i will try my best.. So. for Most of my time as a game dev, I've used Paint.NET for Everything. This includes backgrounds, tilesets, and every animation ever in all of my games. For my character sprites specifically, i usually start with making the color palette (which is a whole different process where i mess around with the RGB values until i get a specific color that i think looks pretty ... its hard to describe). When making a new character, i usaully start with an Idle animation, just so i have a good base to make all the other sprites on. I just make a sketch of the character, then i do the flat colors (as my games dont have line art), and once i have the colors i start doing the rendering , where i try to pull off a sort of Sonic CD-esque , celshaded style while Also including a bit of anti-aliasing and other modern pixel art techniques to give the sprites more Depth and make them look Sharp. Idk. it's hard to describe my process in words ... i Did make a video Years ago showing off my process, but its old and my editing in that video isnt the Greatest.

So., that's my process Lol . the only thing thats really changed is that Now i use Aesprite for making the Actual Animations , as making animations with Paint.NET is Really Difficult and Annoying , as i have No Idea how the animation will Look until it actually appears ingame .. which results in the early versions of each character's animations looking a little weird (such as Trees' first two versions, the first version of the Pink character, and the Blue character's animations.. .though the blue character isnt as bad as the other two and i kept their animations mostly the same in the final game LOL).

Something that people have kind of criticized about UNITRES Dreams' animations is that some of em dont exactly ... Look Good. a lot of animations are pretty Inconsistent , with characters like Trees having inconsistent sizes in some animations and the movement in animations such as the Pink character's walking animation and various other animations (Especially the ones made in Paint.NET) looking Unnatural.

And Well .. here's the thing about making animations and sprites for something like this. When you're the Main person making an indie game, you have Tons of different parts of the game that need to be worked on while having Very little time to work on others. On Top of making every single animation for UNITRES , i had to make every single Tileset and background for every single level, On Top of making the Level Layouts , Programming , and even making sprites for things like the UI. And you have to constantly Test the game to make sure everything works and things Look good.

So. i had very little time to work on the sprites, and i Knew this. Something you have to consider is that, not only are you making the animations for the main character , you Also have to make Tons of animations and sprites for Literally Every Other Aspect of The Game . this includes Enemies , Level Gimmicks , NPCs, And the UI .. so you end up having to work on Thousands of sprites by yourself in such a short time.

I ain't the best animator , nor the best sprite artist . But , for this game I chose an art style which is Kinda simple and comfortable for me, which made making things like tilesets and backgrounds so much easier for me. The character sprites specificially only use a few amount of colors ,but also i tried my best to give them as much depth and make them as Colorful looking as i could. Also , something you might notice is that all of the playable characters dont actually have a whole lot of animations .. each of the characters only have the Exact amount of frames and animations necessary for them to Look Good moving around the levels. Aside from a few Gimmick Specific animations that arent in the sprite sheets i posted , there arent many Extra animations or animations with Tons of Frames that i wish i could have added .. and it Kind Of Sucks . Having to split my time across Three Different Characters , i had no time to make any animations Too Crazy or Too Smooth , and i couldnt include any extra animations that could add a bit of personality to the characters ... In Fact ,the Idle "animation" isnt an animation , its just a still frame. I didnt have time to even make a simple waiting animation !!

It Is What It Is. For what its worth , Ithink Im pretty proud of the animations i did for UNITRES Dreams. while i think ive become a much better artist and animator since then, i still think some animations and some of the frames look really good ..just looking at some of the still frames is really nice .. so i think i did a good job, especially for a game that was made in 2 years and is Free. And Hey, while the animations in UNITRES Dreams may not be the best or have the most smooth animations , i Did get to experiment with making more smooth animations for TREES' ADVENTURE. while ,now, i think some stuff could use some work, i am Really Proud of how some of the animations look .. ididnt get to make Too Many extra animations (there still isnt even an Idle animation), i Did get to make some cool extra animations , such as individual animations for your Jump that are based on how fast you're moving . (the original post on cohost had a buncha gifs of da animations but im Too Fuckin Tired 2 post em here LOL !!!)

So Yea . the moral of the story: making video games is kind of hard and time consuming , Especially when you're like , the Only one working on them. just make sure to plan ahead and try not to overwork urself .. make what you can and do it when you can. Thats what i think , anyways.

[uriekukistan]

another fellow yuji defender here but i feel like he's so neurodivergent coded?? like he probably has something that makes studying/focusing hard for him (that's why he has bad grades). that would also explain why everyone thinks he's dumb, why he also thinks about himself that way, which is something that a lot of neurodivergent people experience in real life

oohh yeah i've seen the idea that yuuji has adhd around. i'm not gonna weigh in on that specifically, since i don't have adhd, but as a neurodivergent person, i can definitely see the neurodivergent coding 🤞 the big thing that sticks out to me is that he has super high empathy, which is not exclusive to neurodivergence, but still a pretty common aspect of the experience (at least in mine djkgfh and a lot of ppl ik 🧍) but yeah that different way of processing can be a source of disconnect.

mostly though , i just think ppl get too attached to fanon in the jjk fandom and forget abt canon. yuuji's not the only character on the receiving end of this, i believe i've brought my thoughts up about this w gojo before. its one thing to have fun hcs, its another thing to completely lose sight of canon, or convince yourself that the fanon idea is canon. idk. personal thought ig :/

[gepardling]

night-time rendezvous III w/ gepard .

desc. : HAPPY HALLOWEEN but nothing spooky happened yet. idk abt u but im kinda terrified of this guy's family. why haven't u ran away yet??? WHY ARE U STILL HERE?? im convinced its some vampire shit they do to make u trust them and be relaxed. anyways. longer chapter this time around ( wc : 2.5k )

tags / cw : sfw, but mentions of blood, injury and vampirism, gn!reader, (they/them used), vampire!AU for the Landaus, reader is a human, little bit of fluff, proofread but lore may change

index : prologue, part 1, part 2

— DAY 2

The remainder of your night proved to be uneventful as you tried countless methods to fall asleep. However, the unease stemming from the unfamiliar surroundings kept you awake. Sleep continued to evade you into the following day, and when you eventually awoke to the sight of the moon, it felt like time had frozen. Your thoughts were interrupted when Gepard knocked on the door. You blinked at the sight of him as he entered the room, fully illuminated by the silvery moonlight that spilled through the window.

The delirium from your earlier fevered state seemed to have lifted, and you could now appreciate the details of his striking appearance. He was a vision, a blend of aristocracy and danger. His tall, lean figure seemed sculpted from the moonlight itself. His sapphire eyes, softened by the pale glow of the moon, held a mixture of warmth and a hint of the insatiable hunger that defined his kind. He was the embodiment of centuries of existence.

Gepard's voice, however, brought you back to the present. "I see you're awake," he said with a soft smile, his sharp fangs gleaming slightly. "How are you feeling?" You could feel concern radiating from him, a strange juxtaposition to the undeniable predatory nature he concealed so well.

"You never... Told me about your family being, well…" You uttered, his strong presence intimidating you now that you're fully conscious. The sight of his fangs made you inch back slightly on the bed. Gepard noticed your reaction and sighed, his shoulders slumping as he perched on the edge of the bed, making sure to keep his distance. His gaze softened as he explained, "I'm sorry for not mentioning it earlier. It's... complicated."

His fangs, still visible, were a stark reminder of what he was, but he made no move to approach you. "My family, we're… revenants," he continued. "I know this must be overwhelming, but please understand, I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe." Despite the uncertainty you felt, Gepard's eyes held a sincerity that was hard to dismiss. His conflicted emotions were evident, a testament to the human side that struggled against his vampiric nature.

"I see," you breathed shakily, the apprehension you felt slowly washing away. "I'm guessing you're... quite old, then." You danced around the topic, not wanting to confront it head-on.

Gepard nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yes, you could say that," he admitted. "But it's not the years that define a person, it's what they make of them. And, well, I've been through quite a lot in my time."

"What do you... Well, eat...?" You glanced at him, not wanting to maintain eye contact for too long.

Gepard leaned back slightly, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I'm a vampire, so I do drink blood," he replied softly. "But it's not as... sinister as it might seem. I don't harm humans." He could sense your discomfort and quickly added, "I know it's a lot to take in, but I promise you, I would never hurt you. You have my word." The honesty in his voice seemed to reassure you somewhat, although the idea of a blood-drinking vampire was still a lot to process.

"Do you have any other family members I should be worried about?" You asked.

Gepard hesitated for a moment, his expression growing slightly pensive. "Serval is the oldest and the most… wary. But I have a younger sister. She's not as confrontational as Serval is. You don't have to worry about her."

"Ah, I see... What's she like?" You asked. 

Gepard smiled, his gaze distant as he thought about his younger sister. "Lynx is quite different from Serval. She's adventurous, a free spirit. She's not as interested in the traditional aspects of our kind. She spends most of her time traveling. You'd like her. She's open-minded and, well, not as... intimidating."

He hoped his description of Lynx would portray her as a more welcoming presence than his elder sister, Serval. "She sounds nice," you nodded, "I'm a traveler myself." 

Gepard's eyes brightened with interest. "You're a traveler? That's fascinating. Where have you been? Tell me about your journeys." He leaned in, genuinely intrigued. 

You lean back slightly, taken aback at his sudden interest, but you tap a finger on your chin and recount your last journey. "The last village I visited was nestled in a lush valley. The people were so welcoming, sharing stories by the fire at night. And in the highlands, I found a serene monastery where the monks taught me about their way of life and—," You spoke with enthusiasm, sharing the wonders you had encountered during your travels.

Gepard listened to you with a glint of admiration in his eyes, letting you ramble on without intervening. Suddenly, you paused, realizing you might have been monopolizing the conversation. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that."

Gepard smiled softly, his eyes never leaving yours. "Please, there's no need to apologize. I could listen to your stories all night. But…" Gepard arises from his seat, "You haven't eaten in a while, you must be hungry?" You suddenly became acutely aware of this and sheepishly nodded in agreement. He gave you time to freshen up, waiting for you outside the door.

After you exit, Gepard led you to a dining area, where a beautifully set table awaited. The room is dimly lit, with candles casting flickering shadows on the walls. The aroma of food wafts through the air, making your stomach growl in anticipation. The two of you sit down, and Gepard serves a delicious meal. As you enjoy the food, you can't help but feel a sense of calmness in Gepard's presence. It's as if you've stepped into a different world, which you technically literally did, one where the worries and dangers of your travels are temporarily forgotten.

That is, until Serval and Lynx enter the dining hall, their presence not going unnoticed. Gepard stands up to greet them and Serval smiles knowingly, while Lynx's eyes light up with curiosity. She gazes at you with a friendly, yet inquisitive expression. "Hello," she says cheerfully. "You must be the guest Gepard brought home. I'm Lynx. It's nice to meet you." She offers you a small wave. You pass her a friendly smile, feeling more at ease with her upbeat demeanor. Serval watches the interaction, her piercing gaze softened by a hint of amusement. It's clear that the introduction sparked her interest.

She's quick to pick up on the rosy tint of your cheeks, as well as the lack of two iconic pin-pricks on your neck, and it seems that Gepard was able to behave himself all day. The light mood is interrupted by Serval’s wilted tone. "I sincerely hope you're not planning on introducing your guest to mother and father, no?"

A knowing silence settled over the hall like a veil, and even Lynx's mood seemed to dampen. Gepard hesitates for a moment before responding, choosing his words carefully. "No, Serval. Their stay here is only short-term."

Serval raises an eyebrow, her gaze scrutinizing. "Well, you've certainly taken a liking to them, haven't you? It's not like you to bring a traveler home, let alone to introduce them to the family."

Gepard nods, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. "Yes, I have. And you know why."

Serval's expression softens, and she concedes with a nod. "I do. Just be careful, Gepard. You know how our parents can be." The weight of Serval's words lingered in the room.

"Where... Are your parents?" Your quiet voice filled the silence, shaky fingers fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth to keep yourself at ease.

Gepard sighed deeply, considering how to explain his parents' absence. "They often go on trips, you see. Our parents are historians."

You listen intently, intrigued by the idea of Gepard's parents as worldly and curious individuals. "Where have they gone?" you ask.

"Many places," Gepard replies with a faint smile. "They're quite the collectors, too."

As he continues to describe his parents' adventures, you can't help but feel a twinge of regret that you won't meet them during your stay. "They don't sound very intimidating to me," you wondered aloud.

Serval's laughter chimed throughout the dining hall, "They'd have loved you before their trust was broken, maybe…"

Gepard interjects, trying to ease any tension in the room. "Serval, I'm sure they don't despise humans. They might have their reservations, but they're not unkind."

"Gepard, you know that not all people are to be trusted. The past has taught us that." Serval's words hang in the air, and there's an underlying tension that you can't ignore. 

As you eat your meal, anxiety swirls deep within the pit of your stomach. The tension in the room is palpable, and you can't help but think of your situation. You're now in the midst of beings far more powerful than you could have ever imagined, navigating the complexities of their world. All while hoping to find a way to leave this place and return to your own kind. The idea of being trapped in a villa with creatures who see you as an outsider, as a potential threat, lingered at the back of your mind.

Gepard waits for you to finish eating before standing up. The way his hand rests on your shoulder delivered a strange mix of comfort and unease. "Let's take a walk," he says to you, casting a glare in Serval’s direction. 

You nod in agreement, appreciating the opportunity to step away from the intense atmosphere at the table. Gepard's hand on your shoulder reassures you, and you follow him as he leads the way. As you walk through the moonlit gardens, Gepard's expression shifts from a mixture of concern and annoyance to a softer, more reassuring demeanor. 

"I apologize for my sister," he begins with a sigh. "But what she says is true. My parents don't take too kindly to a human on the villa grounds." Your chest tightens as you listen to Gepard's confession. The moonlight casts long shadows across the garden, emphasizing the gravity of the situation. You understand the implications of what he's saying - that your presence here, despite being under his protection, might not be safe. The thought weighed heavily on your mind.

"I appreciate your honesty," you respond, your voice tinged with worry. "But what do I do now?"

Gepard's expression reflects the complexity of his emotions. He wanted to protect you, but he's also torn between the expectations of his family and his affection for you. The decision ahead is not a simple one, and it hangs in the balance under the watchful gaze of the moon. "We'll discuss the outcome once you've healed," He urges, not wanting you to stress unnecessarily.

You nod in agreement, recognizing that dwelling on the situation won't change it. "Alright," you concede, trusting in Gepard's guidance. "Let's focus on getting me back to full health for now. We'll deal with the rest when the time comes."

The chill of the night bites into your skin, and you fail to conceal the shudder that ripples across your body. Gepard immediately takes notice, and swiftly removes his coat to drape it over your shoulders. The warmth of his coat, combined with his presence beside you, provides a comforting shield against the cold. Your features are quickly painted in surprise, but you offer a grateful smile and snuggle into the coat. As you continue your walk through the moonlit night, Gepard's hand finds yours, interlocking your fingers.

Neither of you say anything regarding your feelings for the other, and a love that feels almost forbidden begins to bud. In the quiet moments between words, a connection that neither of you had expected had formed. It was a love that dared not speak its name, born in the most unlikely of circumstances. The boundaries between your worlds blurred in those stolen moments, and you couldn't deny the warmth you felt in each other's presence.

Gepard escorted you back to your room with a promise to return, and as you lay in the dimly lit chamber, you couldn't help but wonder about the complicated path you had embarked upon. The villa held secrets that you were far from uncovering. You're left with a brief moment of reprieve, before Gepard returns with the physician in tow. The gentle knock on the door stirs you from your rest, and you sit up carefully to not disturb the cut on your arm.

The door creaked open slowly, and Gepard stepped inside, followed closely by the villa's physician. The physician, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and skilled hands, approached you with a reassuring smile. She examined your wound carefully and began her work, cleaning and stitching it with practiced precision. Gepard stood nearby, his presence a silent source of support. As the physician tended to your injury, the pain ebbed away, replaced by a sense of relief. The room filled with the hushed murmur of their voices, discussing your treatment and the necessity for your recovery. You couldn't help but feel grateful for their care, especially Gepard's unwavering concern.

Once the physician finished her work, she offered you some medication for the pain and gave you clear instructions for your recovery. Suddenly, she pulled you close, whispering a low warning against the shell of your ear. "Be careful of this place." Gepard watched intently, his gaze never leaving you. With a reassuring nod, the physician stepped away, leaving the two of you in an awkward silence.

Gepard finally broke the quietude, his voice soft and concerned. "Are you feeling better? The physician says you'll need some time to heal, but I'm here to help in any way I can." The tenderness in his eyes was hard to miss, and the unspoken emotions hung in the air between you.

"I'm okay..." You whisper, looking down at your hands folded over your lap. You didn’t know what to think of the physician’s words. Gepard nodded, his gaze still focused on you.

As the night deepened, you felt the exhaustion of the evening begin to weigh on you. You had been through quite an ordeal in this unfamiliar place. Gepard didn't press for conversation, recognizing that you needed some rest. He pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down, keeping a watchful eye on you, as if guarding your peaceful slumber.

Your eyelids grew heavy, and the last thing you heard before drifting off was the soft hum of Gepard's voice as he whispered, "Sleep well. I'll be here if you need anything." In that moment, with the moonlight filtering through the curtains and Gepard's presence as your silent protector, you couldn't help but be lulled into a strange sense of safety in this villa, despite the complex web of secrets that surrounded you.

hm i cant tell if it's a red flag or not. suddenly all my judgement has been obscured by the sight of pretty, tall man!

[itgr]

Early ROS season 3 Kodya thoughts (aka here's my excuse to ramble)

I'm only on episode 180. I have thoughts on a lot of things but rn I just wanna talk about Kodya?? Idk ever since we've seen him again in episode 159, he's been a lot more stoic and and standoffish than he used to be? (at least compared to his season 2 counterpart, which yeah he spent most of that outside his body but he wasn't this standoffish to Gyrus before). He's a lot more similar to his season 1 counterpart in some ways which I found interesting. Originally, I thought it would be a temporary thing just from the shock of seeing Gyrus again and recovering from the fact he genuinely thought they'd never meet again, but then he kind of stays that way and he's kind of snarky and defensive which I find interesting. I really like when characters are flawed or are tangibly impacted by things that have happened to them. Anyways here's like multiple reasons I headcanon (some of these are just straight up stated or heavily implied) there's such a big character shift (at least to me):

Um. Yeah he literally thought he'd never see his on and off boyfriend of several years who he literally fought so hard to keep around. That's going to fuck you up regardless of if it ended up not being true

^ Also I feel like losing Gyrus again definitely brought back some old pain and trauma from the time he, yknow, watched Gyrus lose himself over the course of years and eventually had to be the one to kill him ^^ so. YEAH (he has abandonment issues to me)

This is more of a minor point but we should talk about how fucky it would be to spend several years with people from the future and then be plopped back into your time period and expected to just. Keep existing like nothing happened and like you don't know at least hundreds of separate things and concepts that are, quite literally, ahead of your time

Look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't 100% face or see homophobia after returning to his time period. You know that would mess with him a bit (I find his defensiveness near Iro, while partially justified, really interesting? because it's the first time I can think of we get any implication that homophobia explicitly exists in the world of ROS <- which makes sense and it also makes sense to assume that the room of swords itself was probably pretty queer friendly because of the amount of different people there. Anyways Kodya's defensiveness near Iro just reads to me as someone anticipating homophobia because of firsthand experience with it)

Gyrus self deprecating about not as strong as Masiosare, who's essentially like if you took BB! Gyrus's inability to open up and ask for help and his tendencies to do morally fucked up shit for his version of the greater good and then maximised it(/hj), probably made Kodya feel worse. Like he already spent years watching Gyrus lose himself to those ideals and I feel like at this point, the amount of trust issues and general abandonment issues of having a partner who used to hide things from you constantly until it literally destroyed him, combined with that same partner now self deprecating and faintly implying he wants to be like that again, would 100% trigger the shit out of his trauma and probably make him feel like history's going to repeat itself

I don't know if this was intentional but (oversimplification) CPTSD symptoms tend to show up after the person's left whatever stressful environment they used to be in and it starts flaring up because the brain can't process or understand that its in a safe environment and is still in a very defensive protective mode even when it technically shouldn't be. Kodya's likely CPTSD from, yknow, EVERYTHING in the room of swords probably could've started flaring up because of the fact he finally managed to escape, which could also partially explain his mentioned thoughts of feeling cursed and like he'd never be happy before Gyrus showed up (it's a common thing to struggle to feel happy or safe after not having experienced either feeling for a long time)

In conclusion, Kodya Karevic is a well written mentally ill little guy who's literally done zero (0) wrong in his entire life/j. Jokes aside, I wanted an excuse to ramble and get my thoughts out and also just talk about how pleasantly surprising it is to have them actually acknowledge the flaws in Strawbarrow's relationship and show Kodya have tangible problems with trusting Gyrus again. Idk I really like how well and complexly they're written

[hopefully-nightly-doodles]

I don’t really post vent art here but I decided I o post this one cuz well… Honestly it’s mostly cuz I can’t sleep and have a lot of thoughts circling my head right now…

Vent hidden just incase people don’t wanna get depressed reading my wall of text sndbdj

I used to talk a lot in my twitter and I do have a priv that I had posted this vent art on weeks ago but idk- Twitter has become such a toxic space its hard to be active there even in my private account. Well actually its hard to be active anywhere for me, but if you’re a long time follower you probably already know that. I’m a hermit, and very much an introvert with a weird social battery. Every time someone tells me they think I was an extrovert I always get so confused by it-

I don’t even know where I’m going with this or if it will ever see the light of day, but it can’t hurt to try and process feelings right?

Im not going to go into detail on to what made me draw this or the full extent of what’s been happening cuz its complicated as fuck- But I can try and dissect how I’ve been feeling or at least try to. For the past month or maybe more I’ve been tipping back and forth on my mental health, and at the end of May the scales finally tipped over for the worst and I did something so fukin stupid. It was a snap instant regret kinda moment and I knew I fucked up big time. While yes, there were outside things that happened and build up turmoil months prior that got me to that point of mental deterioration before the snap, its on me to have let myself get that bad in the first place.

I should have taken more breaks when I knew I was pushing myself constantly, draining myself constantly. I should have been more firm with my boundaries whenever I mentioned them and should have been better at communicating the hurt and stress and pressure thats been building up before it all came crashing down.

People always say “love yourself before you love others”, and on a logical and fundamental level I always understand why. At least I think I do… But to deeply understand what it actually meant I knew I only had, at best, a foggy grasp of it. And since what’s happened recently I kinda get a little why now. People who are hurt will always end up hurting other people when that hurt is ignored or not properly processed.

And thats what happened to me. I hurt someone I really cared about and I feel gross and unbelievably disappointed in myself for it.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try to be better for others or to be there for people and be kind and supportive to them. Those acts of service and kindness, tho genuine, isn’t going to fill the hole in your heart that you aren’t giving that kind of support to yourself. It’s so self destructive and will leave you to grow bitter from the inside out. And thats why it was so hard to see, and why I didn’t notice till it was too late. Cuz on the outside I look and acted fine, but inside i was deteriorating so much that I got to a point I couldn’t not see it anymore. And in a desperate cry for help I tried to open about it and explain int the worst way possible up but snapped, crossed a boundary I shouldn’t have then ran away.

And I don’t mean snap like get angry, I meant like snap as in I had a mental break that led to the worst tunnel visioned, impulsive fueled action afterwards. Its so hard for me to get genuine angry at people and when I do I walk away to cool down. I at least have some comfort knowing I didn’t unleash burning hot fury on someone cuz I think I might actually puke if I get to that point. That I have become that kind of person. But anger isn’t the only way you can hurt someone and I feel like what I did was kinda worse then plain anger.

Since that happened I just been away from almost everything. I mean I know isolation isn’t the solution so I kept a couple of friends close to have a support system to help me through this. But I did it to think and process everything that happened and has happened before hand that led to that point. And I haven’t just been overthinking and sulking and mopping in the mess I made because honestly who does that help really? I guess that’s what lead me here, to making a tumblr post on my dump account at 7am in the morning. To pick apart my feelings and toss it into the void.

Well that and 2 other reasons… That part where I was talking about being disgusted by myself? Yeh well thoughts of me “erasing myself form the equation” and just snipping connections left and right had pop up in my head more times that in has ever been recently. Cuz you know if ***I’m*** the problem then haha I probably wouldn’t be missed then!

But then two people check up on me and like I shit you not I started crying on the spot. Actually sobbing (but not too loud cuz I can’t cry in this house hold) because oh wow not everyone hates me. Like yes I had my support system and they are doing gods work, they are lovely beautiful human beings and love and adore them! but it’s different when someone you weren’t expecting checks up on you, to know you occupy a space in their head and to hear and see that they cared enough about you to check.

One of them was a friend from a new more recent friend group I had been in when I joined a new fandom. Me and that person hadn’t been particularly close nor talked too much but I loved their company whenever we did get the chance. I wish I talked more to them but time zones and my own social anxiety kinda prevented that so that is something to work on. And the 2nd one was from an old friend I kinda drifted away from a lil, cuz again I moved fandoms, but was very close with. They have absolutely no clue about my current situation but actually checked up on me cuz of uh… The territorial tension between China and the Philippines hdkdbsjsb. It was so out of nowhere and unexpected like they didn’t even have my alt discord to message me but they found a way so I was kinda just super touched-

And those two interactions plus my awesome friends who have been a great support system, that keep me centered and grounded. Im reminded that people do care and that one mistake doesn’t make me scum of the world no matter how loud my toxic thoughts screams it at me. Especially not when I am trying to be better and recognize the mistakes I made and even apologized before taking my break from most my contacts. No one has even called me that but myself cuz Im so quick to be hard on myself for any mistakes.

All I can do now is keep myself centered, allow myself to feel my complicated feelings and process them in a healthy manner, do my best to be better moving forward, and to be patient with myself and move at my own pace.

Hey if you got this far into reading, wow you must have a lot of free time! /lh jdkdjdhdjdhd-

That or you’re just really interested in how I’ve been. I’ve been called mysterious, aloof and hard to read before so maybe you wanted to know what actually goes on upstairs lol.

But either way here’s a little something for reading I guess. The words in the vent art is actually lyrics and this was the song I was listening too when I was making it. Additionally if you’re feeling sad and need a song to listen to try this, it helps me process emotions. Either way if you happen to stumble on this, I hope you get something form this and that you have a nice day.

[itsdappleagain]

being late for cs weekly is just gonna be my thing now, yeah? im just fashionably late always <3

anyways, its time for: the duke of vermeer caper!

aka the zack messes up and has to cover his ass caper lol. just kidding- he does a pretty damn good job. i also love seeing chase and julia acclimate to acme in this ep! ONTO THE NOTES!

going to talk about the intro being soo hot forever

pls they try so hard to pretend for a minute that the duchess isn't carmen. her first moment onscreen plays carmen's theme song

i like how it goes from our usual personal camera angles to the security cam footage!

it is carmen sandiego, actually

"we had no record of her existence until she showed up here. but we do know what she's called somehow"

fuck you devineaux i love learning about vermeer. good on chief for throwing chase under the bus

i always think of julia as veyr bookish, but she's extremely tech savvy. she's on a tablet or a phone pretty much the entire first episode, she nails acme tech immediately...

blue is totally ur color girl you can rock anything girl

love how they just have that painting out. no protection, bare fingies all over it. carmen "all history is a treasure" sandiego, yet again

it totally is ivy you could rock blonde i think

carmen "here's what we know but i'll explain it to everyone again for the audience's benefit" sandiego

love mime bomb breaking the 4th wall jhgdsajgsh he would

you can compare girl with a pearl earring here to the real one i used for my header. considering they had to animate the paintings, i'd say its a job well done translating them to cs style! maybe somewhat less vibrant, but again- style.

Fun fact: the Dogs Playing Poker wikipedia page mentioned CS

and also calls cleo a princess

player's so proud of his terrible light pun i love him

what a fucking crime that zack deprived us of a high-stakes undercover episode with one of the faculty and a hoarde of dangerous operatives all while carmen was dressed like THIS

quality is terrible sorry but you know. actually what a crime

i love the terror on everyone's faces when everything immediately goes to shit

the thought process zack went through to think that he called, they made and delivered the food within five fucking minutes,,

EVERYONE HIDING IS SO FUNNY TO ME poor ivy has to go back in the closet </3

dash haber is fucking stupid (affectionate)

CARMEN POPPING UP FROM BEHIND THE BAR AND JUST STARING AT HIM IS SO FUNNY SHE'S LIKE Z A C K i also like how zack immediately goes "UH GOTTA THINK OF A COVER UH WE'RE MARRIED" the thought process was just. good job

zack's facial expressions in this episode are so good honestly

i also love how zack went "yeah im from boston" and immediately covered up his boston accent he's so silly

poor carmen wheeze

she went "NO DONT LET HIM DO THAT" and zack threatened murder

imagine only have 33 of vermeer's paintings and not 34 what a loser

the tiny eye flutter dash does when he hangs up is so funny pls

HIS GRIN BEFORE IVY WHACKS HIM WITH THE WIG IS SO

carmen is so chill about what just happened khzghsdgh

idk thought it was interesting i never knew what that was

player what do you think the not so good news is. really and honestly what do you think

the grimace on carmen's face progressively getting deeper as zack fails to not be bostonian is so funny shes just like. eugh

also what did moving his chin possibly help to accomplish

they did zack so dirty with that monkey suit joke shdfjsagsh

carmen is REALLY calling on her cleo childhood for this one. also. poor zack actually

the obsession with making him eat fish please just let him tell them he's allergic

CARMEN IS SO FUCKING HARSH WITH HIM IM SORRY she's like "cleo's going to fucking feed you to her dogs" and then zack works overnight to make this happen and when he comes out all ready she's just like 👁️👄👁️ showtime

its literally 7am i feel so bad for him

"park the fork in my mouth" plays in my head constantly i dont even know why

LOOK AT HIM HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB THE GRIN WITH THE EYEBROWS AND EVERYTHING. NICE JOB ZACK

they didnt go over zack not wearing a tracker before or

pls neither of the girls can drive

girl i know it is impossible to look behind you with the side mirrors in the passenger seat nuh uh no way in hell did she even see devineaux well enough to turn it. also you just took away one of ivy's mirrors nice job carmen

shes so

DIDNT I DO IT FOR YOU...

i wonder, considering carmen's other aliases, what carmen and the crew registered as. did julia see "rogue scarletina" and go hmm might be the duchess

poor julia this season wheeze

"old admirer" youve known about him for one singular week

a "klick" is apparently a kilometer. who knew. its also apparently a military term.

LITERALLY POOR IVY carmen is not treating her crew well this time around

"ahh a drawbridge" WHAT. OTHER KIND OF BRIDGE CAN YOU HACK INTO you wouldn't download a bridge

ivy has some good expressions too actually

i laugh every time at how outraged chase gets between the second and third slo-mo shot of him turning around in the car

THEY LOOK SO SHOCKED HHAHAHA

ARE YOU?? UNDERWATER??

the direction you wish to eject is so funny to me. ejecting out the bottom <3

i love how theyre just standing there like "hmmmmm is devineaux drowning??"

oh my god ivy's driving stick i would be terrified too

i would kill someone to have heard haber say "the hostess with the mostest" pls also he looks so sad about being cut off

okay so.. zack actually can speak italian and i totally forgot about that. he says "good evening, my beautiful countess" which. everyone probably knew already

he's just vomiting back up what carmen said in the hotel jhdgsgsh

the dogs ARE so cute

DASH IN THE BG OFFENDEDLY LOOKING OVER ZACKS SHOULDER AS THEY WALK AWAY

i love dash he's such a rightfully petty bitch about everything

HI LADY DOKUSO AND COUNTERFEITER FROM S3

the cleaners do everything

PLS IVY KNEELING IN THE HALLWAY TO GET THAT VERY CARTOONY SHOT OF THEM POKING OUT FROM BEHIND THE WALL

not the three digit code for the room containing 34 vermeers

have i mentioned that they FLY through this dinner party because holy shit

OKAY NOW IVY WEARS GLOVES WHERE THE HELL WERE THOSE WHEN THEY WERE HANDLING THEM BEFORE

or i wonder if its because zack and ivy are registered citizens and if their fingerprints were found on the vermeers they would be put on wanted lists??

why ivy isn't three centimeters away from the stand with the replacement i will never understand

zack you're literally on the edge of the table you have the easiest water glass to remember

that naughty comment 😭

pls that very polite chuckling around the table

love that they switch from ivy putting the fakes down to carmen doing it. makes. more sense

YEAH OKAY IF THEYRE DOING ONE SWAP A MINUTE THE DINNER PARTY BLOWS THROUGH EVERY COURSE IN LIKE 20 MINUTES OR LESS

also the shape of the vermeer room changes??

cleo glares at her champagne thats so funny

JUST. I KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM HAS SAID IT BUT JUST SAY YOURE ALLERGIC

they were so wrong for that closeup of dash's lips

ooomg so suspiscious...someone has a different taste than urs??? what the fuck augh

dash is saying the word puke but im staring at his eye makeup its so good. look at that eyeliner and mascara

cleo the worst hostess ever doesn't tell her guest to stop when he looks like he's about to vomit

THE CRIMINAL IN YOUR MIDST LINE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM CRYING THE DEADPAN STARES

the meat cleaver contrasted with the rolling pin

ZACK AIMED RIGHT AT DASH'S FACE SJKFDSSGH

something about how silent that button was is so satisfying

acme has blue gas, vile has green gas, damn carmen needs something

also love how they had the masks at the ready. nice. i wonder what it would have done. knock out or more sinister?

WAIT I NEVER NOTICED DEVINEAUX SKIDDING ON THE ICE AS HE RUNS OUT HAHAHA

yes i believe the phrase is actually implying that two MUST dance that tango

duke of vermeer bad ending: chase gets mauled by dogs <3

love how chase went: hm yes. the woman who just stole 34 paintings is probably on that snowmobile, which has no cargo

lmaoo the calling card

scarlet ski demon

IVY IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IN THIS BIT IM SO IN LOVE WITH HER SHGJHSGHSGDK

RED BRINGS OUT MY EYES AND COATS ARE WARM

at least she sort of offhandedly told him he nailed the role but thats literally the only praise he gets this episode

THE SHOT JUMPING TO THE CHATEAU BEING BURNT TO THE GROUND IS SOOO FUCKING COOL

chief is so disappointed wheeze

i wonder if this case is especially aggravating to chief, considering the last time she watched a vile member's property go up in flames was dexter's house

carmen's already gotten around the world with those puppies

i thought the public wasn't supposed to know that vermeers were even gone hgdashgdsgh

i would have killed for a s4 moment where julia was like "ah your allies! a pleasure to meet you! is the duchess still among you" and everyone just kind of is like. whos gonna tell her

transition sentence <3

this is set up so much like a weekly release show its hard to believe its a netflix exclusive. that cliffhanger with grey is such a week-to-theorize thing

SHADES OF GREY. LIKE. GRAY. GRAY HAM CRACKER?

GET IT

anyways aur naur its crackle

okay yeah. solid episode, not my favorite, some shining moments just like i started with. sweet! sorry its so late anddddd see you next week for the opera in the crikeycore caper

[princemick]

hi kyle, please explain your process of making graphics! <3

hi anon! I definetely will, I'll walk you though how I get to a graphic like this:

(warning, half of my process is just 'throw it at the wall, see what happens' so like, idk how easily explainable it is.)

first off, I get all my inspiration from pintrest, instagram graphics artist and random stuff I find. inspiration is everywhere and I always keep a notebook with me where I draw/write what I come up with.

all my photo's are from pinterest and google, I dont sell these, if you're going to please make sure the photo's you're using are free use.

all my fonts come from dafont.

the program I use is photoshop.

now, I'm going to break up my editing process into 7 parts.

inspo

images

editing

colouring

font

colour blocking

textures

hopefully it's clear enough

gather inspiration.

so I really like this and this edit I made before and they're pretty easy so I wanted to make a new one.

but normally if I wanna make an edit I scroll through my poster/edit inspo pintrest board which you can find here.

normally if I dont have such a clear way I want to go I'd make some sketches to see what works and how to get the idea out of my brain.

2. gather images.

I wanted to make a Danny one so its not to hard to find stuff as I have a specific search for this edit but I also have a growing archive of folders of drivers full of pictures ive found over time that I'd normally go through to find good stuff.

when you use google please remember to click on 'tools' and select 'size' and big otherwise you'll cry because of the bad quality

this is the picture I wanted to use for the danny edit.

I thought this would work well because it has depth and so will show the colour blocking well, it also has the flag and the shoe which is clearly recognizable.

3. trow it into photoshop baybee.

this is going to be hard to explain but I basically jsut fuck around. most of the time I kind of know what I want to do and the way I want to go but one of the first steps is always to raserize the layer.

I also make sure to copy the original picture for later so you have the same picture twice

I do this so i can be lazy and go to quick actions and remove the background because then, I get this.

without basically any work. (it's almost never perfect so after I let photoshop do it's work I fix up the parts that need it.)

this is what your layers should look like fter.

that lil black and white thingy is really useful and if you select that and go over it w the erase tool it doesnt permenantly change anything.

next thing I do is smart sharpen to spice it up, here is the sharpening settings I use.

a small problem with this picture is that it's to small for an A4 size (which is what I'm making it on) so I need to extend the background a little. which I do in the laziest way.

I select the most of the top of the picture I can and copy paste + extend it out. like this:

then, for this edit, I'm gonna add a black and white filter to the background so everything behind daniel is in black and white with an adjustment layer. I do this to keep the focus on our subject and remove any and all focus from the bg.

I also add a guassian blur to the bg to once again, keep the focus on daniel.

this is the before and after of that.

now, kinda boring right? yeaaah so now onto

4. colouring

first off CLIPPING MASK IS YOUR BESTIE!!!. if you right click on the adjustment layer and click on clipping mask it will ONLY grab the picture right below it, this way it wont affect everything else you've added to your edit.

anwyay. this is the fun part, and the only way I can explain it, is fuck around, see what you wanna do and what works.

I always add, levels, curves etc to just deepen the blacks and add some contrast. heres the before and after of that.

for this edit I kind of wanna focus on the contrast of blue and orange, kinda like the seb one but a lil different so what I'm gonna do is add hue/saturation and remove the yellow and blue from the picture.

you use this adjustment layer by grabbing the little hand and selecting the colour you want to change.

so I'm gonna play around and remove the blue and yellow from this picture. here's the before and after of that.

now I'm going to add selective colour, i wanna up to an extreme the reds in the suit. this is kinda hard as you'll obviously grab his skin with that too so I'm gonna use that black little mask on this too, it already exists when you add an adjustment layer

it's that little white box, if you select that and ue the erase tool you can basically remove that adjustment layer in places you want to, this is what it looks like on my layers and on the picture.

I want to upp the red even more then this so I'm gonna copy paste that layer two more times and THEN add a non erased selective colour and play around with the depth of the skintone until I'm happy with it.

now I'm almost happy with the colour, I want it to be a bit more blue so I'm gonna go to 'colour balance' and play around with that a little more.

this is the before and after of all that

then I'm done with the colouring on the picture itself. I'm also gonna put all my adjustment layers into a folder to make my layers less busy

I'm also going to add noise to both the BG and front picture. it just gives a bit more texture and grain that I like

5. typography!

now the stressful part lol.

I know what I'm gonna add so that makes it easy. the name of the race, place and year. this is hard to explain, I know where I'm gonna put everything because off the other edits so it's just about finding a good font.

for this I'm not gonna fuck around with shapes and text layers and adjustments etc. if you want me to explain that please ask away that's just a whole other 5k worded essay.

I know what kinda font I wanna use at first already these choices have to do with a few things which is basically one questions I ask myself:

is there a vibe that already exists around the race and/or win and how do I translate that into the font? (is it fancy, cool, magical, incredible, bold etc etc)

here's an example of how a font can change the vibe

so the vibe I want to go with for this edit is fancy smansy n stuff so I'm thinking of flowly maybe 1930s vibes this is the font I ended up with

I'm still gonna move the place around but the idea if there.

(I change and play around with my text a lot so, again, ask if you want me to go deeper into this)

6. colour blocking

now for this edit I'm going to add a box of colour, I do this if I want to add a bit of an oomph and contrast to it, I like what I have now but I want to add some contrast to make the colour and him pop even more.

this is petty easy I'm basically just going to add a colour box behind him, I'm gonna do blue as well, thats the opposite of red on the colour wheel AND its the other colour red bull is associated with, also colour theory and all that etc.

I'm also going to add gaussian blur and noise to add some texture and use and overlay. heres the diff in with and without that to show the use of it.

at this point I'm also going to move the text around (as you can see) to make it fit better with the added box

7. texture

the moment where it starts feeling like its finished.

for this edit I kinda want to add some photo texture and more grain. here are the textures I used:

I added these and put it on a screen overlay layer and added some adjustement layers to tweek the last few things.

you can find different textures on google, pinstrest and some awesome artists have texture packs you can pay for w just a few bucks. for these, again, if you're going to sell your work MAKE SURE ITS FREE FOR USE!!!

THATS it!

I add my watermark and maybe fix a few little things but thats all and then I'm done, I reccommend playing around and seeing what works for you.

enjoy and have fun <33

[underratedandoverit]

the way i look at you now

~1,5k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

based on this prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting "Imagine your OTP where one of them had a dream about the other person and tries to act normal, but fails miserably, so the other one notices and gets curious about what the dream was about."

i saved this a while back when it was posted and refound it today. i had build a whole one shot around it in my brain already so it was just a matter of writing it sssoooo here. cause we need a cute lil sweeties and idk kip being a blushing mess gives me life 💜

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

on ao3

----------------------

“There you are.”

Kip glanced up from his phone, watching a familiar man in sunglasses and his usual denim fit approach him in the parking lot. His eyes traveled quickly back to the device in his hands though, lowering his head a little in hopes of hiding a soft blush that was making its way on his cheeks. Kip had avoided Cassidy today for a reason, not being able to shake the thoughts out of his head all day, and he knew seeing Cassidy in person was just going to make it all worse.

And he was definitely right as Kip could feel his cheeks burning more the closer the blond got to him, finally stopping right next to him with his bag in tow as Kip was sure he was bright red on the face by then.

“I’ve been looking for you all day. You said you wanted to catch up, but then you’ve just been avoiding me.”

“I wasn't avoiding you. Just been very busy today,” Kip mumbled quietly, not even sure why he said those words when they both knew it was nothing but lies. Cassidy responded with a soft snort, but offered him a smile despite Kip still being more engrossed by his phone than the other man.

“You’re so suddenly so busy you can’t even text me? After you told me you wanted to see me and how excited you were to spend some time together again? I have to literally hunt you down moments before you leave to see you.”

Truth to be told, he had been looking forward to seeing Cassidy when he flew in last night, but ever since this morning things had just changed so drastically that Kip wasn’t sure anymore if it was a good idea or not. Sure he could have tried to reschedule a hangout time with him at any point throughout the day, but also the mere thought of approaching him in any way and having to explain to Cassidy why he wanted to do all of that when it was already really hard to mesh their schedules together was just overwhelming him even more.

“What’s going on?”

If only Butcher and Blade had been a little faster so Kip didn’t have to deal with this right now. A thought he wasn’t allowed to express out loud.

“Nothing’s going on.”

Cassidy sighed, leaning against the side of the rental car with his eyes fixated on Kip, as the Brit still refused to look directly at him. He was just idly fiddling with his phone, trying to will himself into texting his boys to hurry it up so they could leave already.

“You know,” Cassidy muttered, glancing around the parking lot, watching other people getting into their cars as people were slowly leaving the arena. “If you get into this car and leave now, you’re not going to see me for another week at least. I don’t really know if that’s what you want.”

Kip cursed him in his mind, hoping that if Cassidy was the kind of a mind reader he was feeling like right that he heard the ugly things Kip just called him for calling him out like that. No, he didn’t want that, and it was almost painful that Cassidy also knew that, even if he was saying it just teasingly. Honestly, Kip just wasn’t sure if he could be alone with these thoughts for another week, before he maybe could finally process them enough to talk about them.

No, the situation was pretty much just now or never.

With a sigh he pushed the phone into the pocket of his hoodie, eyes finally landing on Cassidy and the smug little smile on his face. He had Kip exactly where he wanted, despite not even knowing what all this was really about. Cassidy obviously just wanted Kip to talk, to own up to his actions, and Kip was willing to comply. He hated it, how easily the blond could just get under his skin like that sometimes.

“…I had a dream last night.”

“Oh?”

“…About you.”

Cassidy just looked back at him, processing his words for a while before he nodded slowly. Kip wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing, but he took the lingering silence as a mark to continue.

“We were just… Hanging out. Having a good time.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Kip was already regretting them. It was probably pretty obvious by the blush making its way back onto his cheeks as he quickly turned away again, trying to hide his embarrassment. “That’s all. Just that.”

“Oh come on, that can’t be all of it,” Cassidy snorted at him. He didn’t have to even question it, they both knew that wasn’t the reason why Kip had been like this all day. “Tell me. What happened?”

Kip pondered through his options, knowing full well Cassidy wasn’t going to let him walk away from this anymore. Butcher and Blade were still nowhere to be found, they had probably gotten stuck with someone backstage, which at the same time Kip hated as it meant he wasn’t allowed to escape, but considering how stuck Cassidy got him right now, he wasn’t going to just let this be. And maybe this was one of those things that was best to explain without the rest of his friends around to listen to him talk about, honestly.

“Kip--”

“It’s complicated.” Cassidy raised a brow at him, watching Kip shake his head a little, obviously faking defeat as he came up with a plan that would hopefully let him escape this position he had put himself into. “I-I can’t explain it.”

“…Okay.” Kip sighed internally, only to watch from the corner of his eye Cassidy pushing himself off of the car, straightening himself up as he walked in front of Kip, classically hands in his pockets and sunglasses on his face and all still. “Then show me.”

He could feel the mild panic crawling up his throat as Kip watched Cassidy just shrug a little at his almost horrified expression. “I’m your puppet. Set the scene.”

It was almost as if he knew exactly what he was doing.

With shaky feet Kip stepped closer, finally actually standing face to face with the blond. Cassidy just looked back at him, clearly waiting – and then sending a little curious look back at Kip over the top rim of his sunglasses as his hands were pulled from his pockets and gently placed on the Brit’s hips instead.

“Okay, I see--”

“I’m not done.”

Cassidy raised a brow at him as Kip picked the sunglasses from his face, carefully folding them before putting them into his pocket. Kip wasn’t really sure if it had been a good idea to fully go into the details the same way he had seen them in the dream, but it was too late now to turn back. He was only really regretting it as Cassidy’s bright eyes so intensely and expectantly staring back at him now was giving him goosebumps, making it so much harder for him to focus on this.

Cassidy remained silent as Kip continued to pose the two of them, stepping a little bit closer to the blond, Cassidy’s hands almost instinctively slipping more onto his lower back, as if steadying him in place. Kip had just decided to go for it now, one hand taking a hold of the front of his jean jacket, his other hand snaking its way around to the back of Cassidy’s head, fingers tangled into his hair as Kip pulled him closer.

Cassidy didn’t resist, much to Kip’s surprise, but he got a little confused look back from him as Kip stopped inches away from his face, blushing profusely at the realization of what this probably looked like. Not that anyone was in the wrong thinking that, but it just very slowly dawned on Kip what kind of situation he had put himself into.

“A-and that’s as far as it got,” he sheepishly muttered, but didn’t let go of Cassidy or try to pull away. The blond just looked back at him, trying to process the situation happening. “Then I woke up. So…”

“Well,” Cassidy’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, Kip only seeing the small smile playing on his lips. “How would you like it to end then?”

Kip hesitated for a moment, Cassidy taking the control as he leaned forward, closing the gap between the two of them as he pressed his lips against Kip’s. Kip allowed himself to respond to the kiss, his grip on Cassidy’s jacket tightening as if he was afraid that the blond would slip away from him. He could feel a brush of a tongue against his lip, a yearning for more, with a quiet soft moan Kip allowing Cassidy to deepen the kiss.

After a moment they broke the kiss apart, Cassidy leaning away to allow both of them catch their breath, still smiling at the blushing mess of a Brit in front of him. “Like that?”

“Y-yeah, like that.”

“Better than the dream?”

Kip couldn’t hold back a soft chuckle. “Much better.”

[jayflrt]

https://www.tumblr.com/jayflrt/749022445833519104/can-anyone-explain-the-thought-process-behind-this

i think it’s for visualisation purposes? but i completely agree, it does make me raise an eyebrow

especially when it’s little children with their whole face exposed

like i get it could be a parents!au but… those kids and their parents didn’t agree to using their faces in a fan fic (even more concerning if the fic has smut)

there’s actually been a lot of women online that have spoken out abt being used as face claims for oc’s or whatnot and how they’re uncomfortable with it

it just seems a bit more considerate to use images that don’t show a persons face, but idk, i don’t have a blog dedicated to fic writing so 🤷🏽‍♀️

i'm pretty sure as well but i wish i could just hold everyone's hand and be like!!!! you do not Need that for visualization or storytelling!!! i get that it's an aesthetic but like 😔 idk seeing stuff that's like "enha when they [insert some sexually explicit action here] to you" and there's an insert of some poor girl's face it just feels so off to me 😭 like faceless pictures i get it but their full face 😵‍💫 i wouldn't want to see my face in someone's fic like that omg

if this was a "let people enjoy things" situation then i would totally just turn a blind eye but idk how to feel ab this one 😵 like what are we promoting here??

but using pictures of children/babies crosses a hard line for me because WHOA do not use faces of literal children ??? the whole face being exposed is what raises alarms for me :// idk i feel more strongly about this because the internet is so dangerous and it just feels irresponsible to use a child's face for the sake of an aesthetic or visualization,, and ESPECIALLY now when tumblr had that whole third-party sharing thing enabled for everyone bc we don't know who's getting their hands on the content that's being posted!!

yeah i think if the face claims being used have consented to their pictures being used as a face claim then it's a totally different story 🤧 but sometimes im like oh..... idk if this is something that person would be comfortable with having their face just front and center 😔 thank you for sharing your thoughts on it tho manu !! as a reader you 100% have a say in it too, its not exclusive to just writers :')