#idk part of me is definitely just jealous that she found her group at college so quick while i haven’t yet

[teabookgremlin]

love when a friend texts me after months of not speaking and it sounds like she’s trying to make plans but she’s really just asking for a ride

[1994sunflower]

Hey I really love your writing it’s amazing I was wondering if you could write an imagine where like A girl from micheals past makes an appearance and the reader gets really insecure. A fight maybe? Smut? but he like fix’s everything idk whatever you think is best honestly I just love reading your writing .

so….i definitely went overboard on this haha, it’s sooo long. but!! i loved this prompt so much. i got really into this. hope you like it!!!

also again, just so no one gets confused this does NOT take place during the locked out of heaven. time period.

in which you get jealous

Before there was you, there were countless of nameless (and frankly, with how drunk he could get, faceless) girls that Michael had been with. It was a fact you had come to accept and it was also very public knowledge. What wasn’t so public knowledge was the girl who started his tirade of women.

Michael never talked about her. Why would he? He didn’t care about her, never did. She was just a easy fix whenever he got needy - she was there and he knew he wouldn’t have to spend a lot of his energy to get laid with her around. But, especially after meeting and falling in love with you, he could barely even remember her.

‘Accessible’ soon proved to be more baggage than he wanted or needed with her. She got too comfortable, confused with her title and place in his life. Which, for the record, was just a warm body. But eventually, her affection for him got too much for Michael to care for and he settled for spending just a little bit more of his energy to find new girls, ones who would know he only wanted one thing and then leave it at that. And he made sure it was once and done to avoid any of the unnecessary drama he had found in April.

Which is how he lived out his college years until you stumbled into his life that fateful night. Now he had no need for other girls, no desire for them and, were it not for the constant rumors and mumblings of his past as a player, it seemed like those parts of his life never happened. Like those girls never happened. Like April never happened.

And he was perfectly content with that.

You were, too. Even with the knowledge that there were many girls who had once experienced your boyfriend you didn’t mind too much because no one had gotten Michael fully before you. Because he was a different experience when he was fully devoted to the girl he was sleeping with. So even knowing about Michael’s past, your mind never wandered with doubts or questions. Especially when Michael made feel you so secure.

You never searched out the girls he had been with prior, didn’t really care. It was before you and you knew he was different now, at least with you. So you never asked and you were never bothered with the idea of the girls before you. Because they weren’t really ‘before you’, no one had the same place in Michael’s heart that you currently own.

Hearing April’s name for the first time didn’t bring a rush of preconceived notions or history because of this. In fact, you weren’t exactly sure what an April was when Ashton walked by you and Michael as he was leaving home and you were heading there.

“April’s in the living room. Sorry bro, she just showed up and wouldn’t leave.”

You knew April couldn’t be good news by the way Michael’s hand closed tighter around your small one. You looked up to see his eyes go a little darker in anger and his jaw set. Michael had gotten angry really quickly and you weren’t sure why.

But he was silent until you reached his house. He didn’t open the door for you like he normally would’ve done but as he stealthily kept you half hidden at his side, you knew it was so he could deal with April full on and not have you be in the middle of it.

“What the fuck are you doing here, April?” His voice was rough and sneering.

And it was directed to a dark brunette sitting on the winding couch in the living room. She was sitting sideways and staring directly at Michael with an amused, teasing smile. One only capable when you were someone who had dealt with Michael extensively and weren’t so much afraid of his tone anymore.

This thought, the though that whoever this girl was, knew Michael in a much deeper way than you’d never encountered before, never had to worry about before made you wrap your other arm around Michael’s. A deep set worry settled in you. Who was she to Michael?

April stood up. Her long, shiny brown hair flipped behind her and you couldn’t help the way you tightened your hold on Michael. She was beautiful. Her olive skin paired nicely with her green eyes and lightly freckled face. She was tall, much taller than you and the shorts she wore made sure to show her long legs off. She was someone you’d exactly expect to see with Michael. Not at all like you.

And you couldn’t help the comparisons rushing through your mind.

“Turns out we’re in the same Psych class and we’re a group project together. Luckily, I remembered where your house was.” Your heart constricted in a way you weren’t used to. You’ve experienced insecurity before but never justified. Michael had made sure of it. But with this girl, the one who knew Michael enough to be used to his temper, the one who had been in his house before, this felt very justified.

“I don’t do group projects.” Michael’s answers were short and held a warning tone hidden behind his words. He wasn’t sure how convinced he was that their partnerships as pure chance.

You pulled away from Michael just enough to be able to look up to his face fully. You reached just barely to his chest but then you felt even smaller. “Who is this?”

You tried not to notice her eyes narrow down at your small figure. The way she trailed her gaze up and down your body, sizing you up. Or the small smirk that formed when she decided she didn’t have much to worry about when it came to Michael.

A hot anger brushed through you but you didn’t want to be that girl. The one who was insecure over her relationship even when nothing had happened yet. There was nothing to be insecure about.

You weren’t the only one who had caught April’s judgy gaze on you. Michael noticed it too and as soon as he did, he pulled you tightly into his side, holding onto you protectively. As if trying to shield you from the girl who didn’t deserve to make you feel bad or uncomfortable. Not when you were home while she wasn’t even welcome.

“No one.” He said and his tone held no room for debate. For him she was no one. An icy glare was fixed on April as he said it. But, paradoxically, his hand rubbed up and down your arm gently to comfort and reassure you as much as he could.

April sighed dramatically, looking away towards the open kitchen at her side. “Look, I already did most of it. I just figured you’d want to at least try finishing it with me. Plus, it’d be nice to catch up don’t you think?”

“No.”

You took a hold of his big hand and squeezed it, sending his gaze shooting immediately down to you. His brows furrowed in confusion, searching for anything that could be wrong. All you had to do was say the word and he’d kick her out if it was making you too uncomfortable.

But your mind was drifting more to him. He needed the points. No matter your opinion or the way your mind filled with possibilities and fears of who exactly April was to Michael, you knew he should do the project with her. What would it hurt anyway? It was for school and you would be right there if anything were to go awry.

“Mikey, it’s okay.” Michael looked at you in wonder. You really were such a good person and he wondered not for the first time how exactly you were his. He didn’t think it was possible to love you more. You were perfect.

He would never be so understanding in the same situation. In fact, he couldn’t really think of himself even allowing a man that had been with you the way April had with him close to you or your home at all. His chest constricted in anger just at the thought.

April watched with narrow eyes as you persuaded a reluctant Michael into not only not kicking her out but to even move to the couch where April was standing behind. She never truly got over Michael after he iced her out of his life. Especially when she was starting to fall for him. But she learned to live without him even if her mind always wandered to what could have been if he hadn’t ruined everything. When she heard he had gotten a girlfriend it was the icing on top of her anger. When she saw what you were like compared to him and hell compared to her, it was disbelief that covered her. The great Michael ended what he had fought against her so much to get…for you?

Michael only moved because you seemed to want him to. He kept his gaze on you, studying you for any sign that would tell him you were changing your mind. But when he finally stood right at the couch, next to April with your little body right in front of him he understood; you were doing it for his sake, to help him with his class and get the grades he needed. Even if it meant sending him to someone you didn’t feel secure with. He wanted to tell you he didn’t care, especially if it meant having to work with the brunette nightmare beside him and making you uncomfortable. But if it would keep you from being disappointed in him, if it would give you a sense of pride in him then he would do it. Not happily of course. But he’d do it for you.

He didn’t even glance at April though she was the closest she’d been physically to him since the moment he stopped talking to her. No, his entire attention was on you and he intended to keep it that way. You were his priority. If he had to balance making you happy and keeping you comfortable, he’d do it.

So when he finally sat down at the couch, he took you by your waist and brought you down to sit on his lap with his arms around your body. While you knew how touchy he was, at that moment you never appreciated it more. It gave you a reassurance you didn’t realize you needed so heavily. He was willing to stake his claim in front of a girl from his past and it felt like he was sending a bigger message than usual. He was yours.

The atmosphere was tense as April slowly sat down next to him, her hands grabbing for the notebook next to her on the couch. Her gaze was cool as she glanced at both of you. Even up close you could see her almost model-esque physique. While you very much embodied more of a doll-like look. You were so different that you wondered how Michael had gone from her to you. Even if you two obviously played different roles in his life.

Lucky for you, Michael seemed to prefer you, evidenced by the way his eyes never left your profile and his hands couldn’t stop moving along your legs. He loved your submissiveness, your size, your innocence. You couldn’t help the smug smile on your face.

April was just a figure he vaguely acknowledged was there. After all, he didn’t really want to deal with her in the first place.

His gaze didn’t even turn to her when she began going over the work she had already done for class. And, to be fair, it was a lot. It was a big project and she had done all but the last couple slides. Which, you couldn’t help but think, meant she didn’t need Michael’s help. Yet she had gone out of her way to search him out.

Your discomfort manifested itself further when April stopped talking and moved her eyesight from her notebook and laptop to look directly at you two again. You could see her going over exactly how to say what she was thinking for a moment. Michael didn’t notice, his eyes were looking into the distance, bored with only the way his fingertips trailed featherlike along the skin of your arms to tell you he was still conscious.

“You know we really don’t need you to be here, it’s distracting.” Her words were blunt and harsh. While you had gotten used to your boyfriend being so straightforward, hearing it from her, someone who clearly didn’t have an interest in your feelings, it stung.

Her tone was enough to have Michael’s eyes finally snapping to her. “What the fuck did you just say?” His arms tightened around you protectively as if wanting to physically keep you from her words.

April’s eyes widened just a bit at his flare up. “I’m just saying you’re not paying attention because she’s here and we could finish this a lot quicker if-”

Michael sat up just slightly, his eyes blazing as he stared at her incredulously. “I don’t know who you think you fucking are to even be able talk to her. From where I’m standing, she’s the only reason I haven’t kicked you out. So if you want anyone to leave, you leave and finish your own shit because I’ve seen more of your face than I ever wanted to again.”

His words were so mean that even you felt hurt. But more so hurt to hear your boyfriend speak that way. And upset to know that he was willing to lose the percentage points this project would give him because of you. April was right in a way, the anger between them was just being amplified by your presence because Michael cared more about how April was making you feel than anything else.

So, you took a hold of his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you instead of her. His eyes immediately became softer as he stared into your eyes. Worry swirled with anger in his light colored pupils.

“I’ll be in your room, okay Mikey? Just finish your project up quickly and I’ll be right here.” Your tone was soothing and you felt your heart constrict with appreciation as he nodded slowly. He was willing to obey you, to stay with someone he nearly hated to make you happy and proud.

Before you stood, you made sure to place your mouth to his in a deep kiss. You always kissed him before you left but this time you went deeper and more passionate than usual. It was more for your sake and reassurance that you trusted him than it was to send a message to April but if it did both, then that was just a plus. His tongue prodded your mouth, he was never one to care about who was watching when he was with his girl. You felt yourself start to react more but you pulled away before it became too much of a spectacle.

He let you go reluctantly after that as you made your way to his room and made yourself comfortable on his bed. But not before seeing the way he crossed his arms across his chest and stared emptily at April. You watched as April moved slowly closer to him, using her notes and showing him her slides as an excuse. Your heart constricted at the sight but you trusted Michael enough to make yourself leave and besides you would be a few seconds away if anything went wrong.

It was for Michael’s sake. To get him the grades he needed. You wanted him to be involved in his academics and this would achieve that. Even if you knew April’s motivations were anything but her grades. It would all be fine.

You repeated that to yourself for the first half hour. Even when you tried to distract yourself on your phone, your mind kept wandering to Michael and April. What could be taking them this long? She said she was nearly done and you were sure Michael wouldn’t do anything to prolong the time he would have to spend with her. Was she moving slowly on purpose?

Standing up, you began pacing nervously around his room. You wondered just how close she had managed to get to him on that couch that suddenly seemed too small. This was all out of your realm of expertise. You’d never had to worry about another girl knowing Michael so well. You’d never had to be insecure to this extent. But how could you not be when she was so beautiful and obviously had a past with your boyfriend? Worse even was that Michael never talked about her, never even mentioned her so you had no idea how far their history ran. Or why Michael disliked her so much. Was she an ex-girlfriend? Though you distinctly remembered him telling you he’d never had a real girlfriend before you. Just several hook ups.

The insecurities ran through your mind faster than you could even process them. Maybe that was why you decided to go get a drink from the kitchen, you could just glance at them to see their process. To make sure Michael’s temper was still in check.

So that was exactly what you did, nearly an hour after you left him, you gently opened the door and silently made your way to the fridge. You glanced at the couch on your way, noticed the way April was typing mindlessly on her laptop and the way Michael was leaned as far he could away from her, his arms still crossed and still silent. The only sounds were the keyboard clicks.

As soon as Michael heard his door open, you felt his eyes following your every move. Your heartbeat quickened because there was just something so erotic to know that you had the power to focus his entire attention to you, even when he had another beautiful woman right in front of him. He didn’t speak but every move you made had your body heating up just knowing his silent gaze was trailing you from the bedroom doorway to the fridge.

You had to blame it on him when you bent over unnecessarily to search the bottom row of the fridge for a bottled water. You were hyperaware of the way your, already short, skirt skimmed just enough to give him a peek of your panties.

It was quick but effective. You knew because as soon as you turned back to him, you saw the way gaze hardened on you. His jaw was set and his eyes trailed up and down your body slowly, effectively undressing you with his eyes. You knew it was taking everything in him not to get up and just deal with you right then and there.

Which, you definitely wouldn’t mind. You were teasing him and you knew it. But it gave you the ability to emphasize that you were the only girl who clouded his mind, the one he could make him react that way. Even with April, clueless to what was going on right in front of her and to the fact that Michael’s mind had trailed away from the work to his fantasies.

Your eyes met his directly as you trailed one of your hands down to push the front side of your skirt up, giving him a tasteful look of your thigh and panties while you cupped yourself and the other using the wet water bottle to push the front of your shirt collar down, giving him a full look of your cleavage as you kneaded your tits.

It was dirty and it wasn’t something you normally would even think of doing. Especially in a situation where April could turn around any second and catch you. But given your discomfort at the situation she brought with her and the way you had Michael’s full attention despite her, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You definitely had Michael’s attention. He tried to be inconspicuous when he grabbed a hold of a pillow and placed it on top of his lap. But he didn’t shy away from gazing at your exhibited body. His hands were clenching and unclenching in an attempt to control himself from doing exactly what he was currently imagining doing to you in that moment. Honestly, he didn’t really care what consequences it would bring but he knew you likely wouldn’t appreciate it.

But the sight was downright sinful. Seeing his shy, usually nervous and too kind girlfriend teasing him so out in the open, in a way that was not so subtly staking her own claim on him was a turn on he’d never experienced before. But he loved it. He thought he might cum in his pants when you bit your bottom lip as your fingers trailed over your clothed pussy, all while staring directly at him.

Fuck.

His eyes were infinitely darker with lust as his gaze followed you when you collected yourself and all but skipped back to his room. Skipped. You fucking skipped like a giggling schoolgirl back to the place he could so easily go and fuck you in. He wanted to ruin you, his eyes nearly rolled in the back of his eyes at the images flashing through his mind.

You gagging around his cock, you crying from the pleasure as he took you from behind, you covered in his cum.

He had to cover his eyes with his hand to collect himself. Keeping his hand on the pillow firmly to hide the large bulge forming in the front of his pants.

If only he wasn’t stuck with the annoyingly slow-working girl from his past. He could go to where you were laying down, vulnerable and willing in his bed.

But instead of doing what you both wished he would, but knew he couldn’t, you were left for a few more minutes alone in his room and now unnecessarily horny from your own actions. You really didn’t think it through as now all you wanted was for him to finish his project so he could make you feel good.

It was only a few minutes though because soon enough you heard Michael’s gruff voice even through the closed door. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

You ran out of the room as fast as you could just to see a very angry Michael holding on to April’s slim wrist painfully. It was in such an angle where it was clear she had gotten too close, laid her hands on him and he reacted.

April was gasping but you weren’t sure if it was from pain or from the surprise at his swift actions. But that soon developed into a teasing smile, “I almost forgot how rough you could be.”

You saw Michael’s eyes widened and his lips curling in disgust, likely more so at the fact that you had to hear what had just come out of her mouth. He let go of her almost immediately. Her words would have no impact other than the fact that they were meant to almost exclusively humiliate you with how she had had Michael before you. He never regretted his past as much as he did right then. You didn’t deserve to be in the middle of his actions. He knew if the sides were switched and one of your old fuck buddies (if you had any) said that in front of him, it would not end well.

This time, his eyes weren’t the only ones that were blazing with anger. You felt your throat tighten in anger as you moved forward. You had suspected that was what their relationship was but to see her say it so crudely and disrespectfully in front of you unleashed an anger that you didn’t experience much of.

You got in between them quickly, you were shorter than she was but you were also angrier. “Get away from my boyfriend.” You said with a authoritative voice you didn’t even know you were capable of having.

Even Michael’s eyes glanced at you with surprise. You’ve never been the jealous one or the angry one, that was all him. So this was a first for him. And he couldn’t say he didn’t like.

April gave you a mocking grin, “Maybe you’d have a right to be mad if his dick hasn’t fucked half of the girls at this school.” When she took a step toward you, Michael took a hold of you and effectively threw you behind his large frame to step in between. His way of protecting you from her cruel words even if you didn’t think you needed the protection right then, you wanted to face her even if you’d never been in a fight before in your life. It was the principle of it. She had disrespected you.

But Michael seemed to take a hold of that burden because he glared down at her and spoke in a tone that was so icy, you had goosebumps. And you knew he was still controlling himself, because you were there and he didn’t want to scare you. “Get the fuck out before I make you. Get your shit and don’t ever even look at my girl again. You’ve never mattered to me for you to think you have anything over her.”

He was mad, so mad you could almost feel him shaking. The pure thought of his past actions being thrown in your face the way it had made him see red. You didn’t deserve to hear that. He felt so much anger at himself, at April, that all he wanted was to collect you in his arms and apologize, to reassure you that you were the only one who mattered, the only one he loved.

You tried to look past him just enough to see April clench her jaw and weigh her options. But it appeared that no matter how much time she had known him for, or how well, even she knew not to mess with a Michael that was this angry. Because she hadn’t faced his anger when it came to protecting you, it was lethal.

Michael moved with her as she packed up and headed to the door, making sure she was gone as quickly as possible. You’d never heard the door slam so loudly as he locked the door behind her.

And just like that it was like a flip had been switched. He was still mad, you could tell by his tense shoulders but he was mostly worried and almost nervous as he moved back to you. His hands took a hold of your forearms, “I’m sorry.” He said, looking down at you for any sign of your distress. “I’m sorry you had to hear her say that. I was hard because of you and she was too fucking stupid to know it wasn’t for her. I should’ve kicked her out as soon as I saw her, I should have-”

Your lips cut him off roughly. You nearly pushed him backward at your spontaneous actions, as you swung your arms around his neck to pull yourself up to his mouth. Even he was surprised by your actions though he still didn’t hesitate to kiss you back and pick you up so you could reach his mouth more comfortably. You wrapped your legs around his waist and ran your fingers through his hair. You weren’t one to start anything sexual and he was perfectly fine with it. But this was a welcome change.

But you weren’t yourself fully right then. The knowledge that April had experienced him like you have, experienced the roughness he exhibited with you that you loved so much had sent you into a frenzy. You didn’t know how much of what he was like in bed with you was similar to other girls. And that bothered you much more than you’d like to admit. You wanted to be special for him. And you didn’t want to share that dominant part of him that you loved so much. Especially knowing you were the most submissive girl he’d ever been with. You were more inexperienced than most but you were the only one Michael would react to, the only one who could get him so hot.

You vaguely felt yourself being moved as Michael carried you to the couch, sitting down so you were directly straddling his lap. It was closer than his room and he needed to feel you. All of you. You felt his hand go to the back of your neck to hold you still as his tongue explored your mouth. Your hips ground against his jean-clad crotch desperately.

You were moaning against his kiss and you felt Michael push your hips deeper into his own, groaning under his breath when you pulled away from the kiss. He was left with taking the sight in front of him in. You, moaning and blushing wildly on top of him, your skirt pulled up to your waist and your shirt exposing your cleavage to him. You were a sight for sore eyes.

He wasn’t entirely sure what had gotten into you but he wasn’t complaining. Especially not when you lifted your shirt off of you, leaving you bare for him. You were moving quickly.

He was so mesmerized at this pleasant turn of events that had shifted the mood of the afternoon so far that he let you off of his lap easily. He watched as you shed yourself of your skirt and panties and he was quick to follow. He fumbled rapidly with his belt and took his shirt off as quickly as he could with one hand.

He was slightly out of the realm he was used to. He’d always been the one who led your sex life so with you being the one to initiate this once was new to him. But it was so very hot.

When you straddled him again, his length was pressing against his stomach at the feeling of your naked body and pussy on him. His hands traveled through every curve of your body and he made a move to lay you down on the couch and get on top of you but you stopped him.

Part of you worried that Ashton could come back and walk in at any moment and see you two. You tried not to have sex in the shared living space for curtesy to Ashton. Michael, on the other hand, didn’t care at all when it came to being with you. Not about being interrupted or even about being watched. And right then, you didn’t care either.

“Let me ride you.” You sounded so cute when you asked something so dirty and that had him cursing under his breath. He was the dominant one in the relationship, always had been and always will be. So he had never let you be on top before, couldn’t imagine not having complete control. But you needed this, right then. You had something to prove.

Instead of denying you, he just smashed his lips to yours again and nodded. You broke the kiss as you held yourself up to be able to lower yourself onto him. Michael, one of his hand on your waist, spit on his palm and stroked himself with it as you were hovering above him. You were practically dripping on him.

“Fuck, I’m so hard for you, little one.” He muttered as he slowly maneuvered you down onto his big cock. His words, the exact ones you needed to hear, along with the foreign angle for you was a lot to take. His girth stretched you out perfectly and you squeezed your hands on his shoulders as you moaned out his name. You were almost worried about the scratches you could have left on him as you took in the pleasure but you knew you wouldn’t be able to see them through the dark ink that took up  nearly every inch of skin on his neck and upper body.

Michael began setting the pace for you as you began bouncing on his dick. He could give up the control of being on top but he was still in charge, always. And you didn’t mind. You constricted your walls against him and sighed out in bliss as he moved you closer to him so that he could drive into you at a faster, more pleasurable pace but also so that your face could be directly at his ear.

Enough for you to whisper, “This is m-my cock.” Your possessive words were more broken and stuttered as the pleasure of riding him was more incredible than you could have imagined. Every time he bottomed out in you, your skin slapping against his thighs, you couldn’t help the loud elongated moan that left you.

Your words were new for you and Michael loved it. Hearing you so possessive over him made a surge of pride flow through him. You were his and he was yours. Just like it was meant to be.

He pulled your hair tightly, making your head pull back with it. Your entire body so much more exposed and vulnerable for him. Even at a moment when you were more serious than usual, your cheeks were still painted red nervously, your bent legs reaching just to his knees as your small figure moved on top of him. That dichotomy had him craving for more of you. Even as he was currently driving into you at a rough pace. He’d never get tired of feeling you around him.

So he moved his hands from your hips and moved to take a hold of your ass so that his control of your pace and movements was practically complete. You were so easy to control. He was lifting you so easily. He moved your lower body at a faster rate that had his cock disappearing into you at a new speed you’d never experienced before. He knew because of the way you gasped out and held onto him weakly, your strength slowly leaving you.

“Oh, yes!” You couldn’t even really close your mouth anymore at the nonstop whines filtering out of you, pairing nicely with Michael’s deep groans and curse words littering out of him. Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head at the feeling of your boyfriend’s big cock filling you to the brim. Your walls hugged him tighter than usual as he squeezed himself into you. He could definitely get used to this position with you.

“Yeah? Gonna make me yours?” He watched your face in fascination as he stopped his pace, holding you still just for him to be able to hold you still and drill into you. He swore he nearly saw his bulge poking near your abdomen and he nearly came right then and there. You were so small and this position was so close spaced. And still you stared at him with the big doe eyes he loved so much and even as you rode him like a fucking whore, you still managed to be the innocent little virginal girl he had fallen for. God, he loved you. How anyone could think you were anything but the embodiment of everything he could ever want was beyond him.

He wasn’t expecting it when you moved to whisper in his ear, “You’re already mine, daddy.”

That was enough for all the self control and sexual tension he had pent up since the moment you left his room and teased him to snap. He was done with giving you even the illusion of control.

Michael flipped you roughly so your back was now on the couch and his large figure eclipsed yours. He wasted no time in taking over the pace completely. He thrusted into you expertly at a rough, bruising snapping pace. One that had you writhing and reaching for anything you could hold on to.

It was like he was waiting for his moment to be able to be on top again because his hand immediately found your neck and choked you deliciously. You took a hold of his tatted wrist but didn’t try to move it and instead just held it as you stared up at him, your mouth open and your eyes crunched up in pleasure.

“That’s right, baby girl. So fucking good.” He groaned as he moved his face closer. “You’re such a fucking slut for my cock and it’s yours. Only yours. Look at you almost drooling for it.”

The sound of skin slapping was louder and more punctuated, matching the volume of your high pitched moans. Still staring down at you, he moaned out as his free hand massaged your tits sensually. “That’s it, moan for daddy.”

His words made your walls tighten around him and his hips stuttered at the feeling. But you needed more, your hips began moving right alongside his thrusts, meeting them with a desperate vigor.

“P-Please.” You were blushing wildly but you weren’t even sure what you were asking for. You just needed more of him so you could know that whatever happened in his past, didn’t matter the moment you came into his life. You were his only and his best.

Michael pushed three fingers against your mouth, all the while choking you harder in the best way possible. When you opened your mouth to him, he wasted no time in shoving his fingers deep into your mouth. You were gagging against his long fingers as he kept them as deeply as possible in your throat. You felt tears at your eyes but you still wanted more.

“Take it.” Michael was watching with dark eyes. “You’ve had me hard all day.” He loved the way your spit coated his fingers as he drew them out of your mouth, trailing them down to where you two were united and began working on your clit. “Wanted to ruin you from the moment you went into my room.”

He leaned down to capture your lips for a quick kiss. “I wouldn’t have cared about ditching her, would’ve fucked you so good you’d be crying like the good little whore you are for me.” He could feel himself ready to cum and the sight of your small body being so destroyed under him was just helping that fact.

Your moans had become more broken and you looked almost delirious with your incoming climax. “Yeah, you like that?” He growled down to you, “You know exactly what I like, taught you so well. Fuck, you’re perfect for me. You’re mine. This cunt was made only for me. No one can even compare.”

And that was exactly what you needed to hear. You came around him, your walls tightening around him as you rode out your high. He never stopped thrusting, even when your cum coated his thighs. In fact, he just groaned out louder.

“Look at you creaming all over my dick.” His thrusts slowed down and his grip on your neck loosened as he reached his own release inside of you. It was a mixture of your tight walls around him and the way you looked so euphoric under him, tears down your cheeks from the pleasure and shaking from your release, the way he knew you had gotten like this because you were claiming him as yours (even though you had nothing to worry about), that did it for him.

He didn’t pull out of you immediately. Instead he enjoyed the feeling of you being so close, so connected to him. Especially when your eyes held such a content glint, a glint that said that all your insecurities had just vanished.

When he did pull out, he glanced down to see the way his cum oozed out of you, he had filled you so good and the sight had him closing his eyes to prevent himself from ravishing you again.

You were both glistening and panting. His tattoos looked even more prominent and you bit your lip, closing your thighs quickly to stop the heat rushing to your belly at the sight. Your boyfriend was so hot. Your body felt like jelly and you didn’t really think you could move even if you wanted to.

Michael moved down to kiss you again. The kiss was open mouthed and heavy even after all you had already done. “I don’t know what just got into you, little one but you were so hot.” He said in between kisses. “I’d say you were jealous but you have nothing to be jealous of.”

His hands was laid on your stomach and he laid himself down as comfortably as he could on the small space. He brought you close to him, burying his face into your neck. You were on top of him as he held you almost like a teddy bear.

You bit your lip and weighed your next words carefully. “I wasn’t jealous just….insecure.”

Michael paused and stared at you, silently. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he processed just exactly what you said. “I don’t know how you can say shit like that.”

His words were harsh but his gaze was very much worried and protective.

“Is this about the shit April said to you? You should’ve never heard that. And you never will again, I’ll make sure of it. I don’t want you thinking of it, everyone else, her, I don’t fucking care about them, never did.”

You trialed your hand up and down his chest, your eyes never meeting his as you nodded. “I know. It’s not that, it’s just…all these girls have been with you the same way I have and I don’t feel like I have much ground to stand on, especially when what might be so special and new to me isn’t so much to you.”  

His hands found your chin and forced your gaze to his serious expression. He hated that his own actions, even if they were from the past, made you feel that way. Especially when he so obviously worshipped you like he never had with anyone before. Your beauty and very person was unmatchable. You were more than special to him.

“You think I’ve fucked other girls like I fuck you? Baby girl, you’re the only one I’ve ever been this way with. I never used pet names or talked to them like I do to you, I always kicked them out right after. You’re the only one who can take me, you have no idea what having you be fucking innocent but still letting me be the only one to touch you does to me. They don’t matter, not compared to you.”

His words filled your body with a sense of love. His words weren’t the most traditional but it meant a lot coming from your blunt boyfriend. You whisper of ‘I love you’ was a soft whisper before you pecked his lips.

His reply came in the form of neck kisses. A lot of them. You weren’t sure if the hickeys he was forming on your neck was for your sake or his. But it felt good either way. Both the sensation of his lips on your skin and the pride of being claimed by him. And you were even prouder to know you were the only would who had ever or will ever wear his marks.

He was right. You had nothing to be insecure about. He was yours.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #291

“clothes trailing from the backdoor, to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

What was the last health scare you had? So I got blood tests done recently to check multiple things, and I got pretty nervous when my doctor stood beside me going through the numbers and what they meant. I was afraid she was going to tell me I had diabetes (runs in the fam, and my diet hadn't been great) or something, but I was fine. What is your favorite food to cook? Something in the microwave lmao. Do you listen to bluegrass music? Ew. What was the last novel you read about? Well it' s part of a series so it'd be hard to explain briefly... but dragons. That'll do ig, lol. If there is a tree right outside your window, what kind is it? There's a small one. Idk what it is. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. What is your favorite thing to draw? If you take a look at my work history... I apparently love drawing meerkats screaming for one reason or another lmao. Do you like abstract art? Not very much. There are of course exceptions to this, but it's definitely not my favorite and sometimes doesn't even feel like "art" to me. Would you ever want to be a painter? No. My Painting course in school taught me it's too damn stressful, the idea of messing up. Even though it's technically fixable. There's just a lot about painting I don't like. I'd much rather draw and color traditionally. What is your passion? Some of my biggest consists of gay rights (or really just equal rights as a whole), meerkats, pacifism, photography, just art in general, stuff like that. I feel things very deeply, so there's really a lot. What fascinates you? NATURE!!!!!!! SO MUCH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Do you have art on your walls? In my room, I have three of my meerkat projects on the wall with my meerkat collection, and my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun overlap drawing is with my Silent Hill stuff. What kind of collection would you like to start? I have a decent amount of stuff, but I really would love to pump up my SH collection. It has SO much merch that I would die for, stuff is just mad expensive. If I was to start a new collection, bitch I need Markiplier stuff so bad, I'm too awkward to ask for that shit for holidays 'n stuff. ;;_;; Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I sure do. If you had the money, would you travel the world? I feel like I'd go to less locations than most people you could ask this question, but I'd definitely go places, yeah. If you could travel the world, which country would you want to go to first? South Africa. Make my meerkat dreams come true. :') Do you get drunk? I haven't before, and I don't actually aim to when I drink (which is very rare) and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I doubt I ever will. Don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly. Do you get high? Nah. Have you ever used a prescription medication to get high? No. Does sunlight make you happier? Guys. This is science. I used to hate the sun so much, but it's good for you. Open your windows on a clear day; your body will thank you. It takes getting used to, but please, don't coop yourself up in the dark. Do you live a boring life? My life is excruciatingly boring. Like not to sound depressing, but half the time I wish I wasn't even alive because I'm so bored lmao. Have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? Do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse? No, but it's been threatened upon me. I don't support it, no, but then again I don't believe in traditional "profanity." My hypothetical four-year-old could say "that fucking hurt" in our own household, and just a simple word indicating (s)he was really in pain wouldn't faze me for a blink. I do believe out of respect though, that you should educate your children when "profanity" isn't allowed, like in school and such. You don't shove potentially toxic shit into your kid's mouth to teach them something. What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore? This definitely depends on the child. Are they spooked easily? How mature are they? Do they understand what's not to be replicated? It would vary with the film, too. Do you have any wind chimes outside your house? How many? No, but I'd love to. Wind chimes are great. Do you have a flat stomach? Would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off? I hate my stomach more than I do any other part of my body, so guess. Would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)? omfg hell YES Do you think your biological parents love each other? They're long-divorced and Dad's been remarried for a long time while Mom only has negative shit to say about him, so like... What's one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet? *Dying* to, I don't know if one exists. Birds of Prey probably tops my want-to-see list, though. Harley moving past Joker? Girl you fuckin go ilu. What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me because of my illnesses. Nope, he sure didn't. Does thunder & storms scare you? Nah, not usually. It's funny, I was TERRIFIED of them as a kid, especially if I wasn't with my mom, but now I find them beautiful and sometimes even relaxing. Now, wind, I fucking hate wind. I associate bad winds with tornadoes, so fuck outta here w/ that. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. Do you sing in front of people? NO. Who are you the most uncomfortable around? Groups of older men. Are your parents overprotective? No. A recent creation that you’re proud of? I took family pictures for a repeat client recently, and I'm really happy with how some came out. Who’s your favorite comedian? Living, I'm unsure. It was John Pinette. What makes you squeamish? Vomit and fecal matter top the list. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Maybe a couple that I don't know too well? Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? No. I see a lot of potential problems with that should it become a serious thing. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? Probably my dad. What’s a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? A snake. I was eventually allowed though obviously, and now Mom loves Venus, though she won't hold her. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? It's not my job to change anyone else. You have to want to change. Has your house ever been broken into? No, but my childhood home almost was by a gang. My older sister and her best friend were home alone at the time. Thank fuck they didn't get in, but they left a gang flag on our porch. Would you consider yourself a good flirt? I have no idea. What color do you wear most often? You mean to tell me black isn't the only primary color in people's wardrobes? Do you like your hair? Disregarding the fact it gets oily way too fast, yes. Have you ever driven while under the influence? No, I would absolutely never. Did you enjoy your last kiss? Yeah. Would you ever take boudoir photos for a significant other? (or have you?) Considering I literally love boudoir, I would if I didn't hate the fuck outta my body and would be too embarrassed to ever do it. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Maybe makeup guru channels lmaooo. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but actually ending up enjoying? I'm unsure. I don't really go into watching a movie I think I'll hate, especially when I watch so few movies to begin with. Do you like where you live? I'm not a fan of the suburbs, but it's a better place than where we were. Are you a jealous person? I'm learning that apparently I might be, at least sometimes. Is there anyone you want to fix things with? There are a few. Last time you walked further than a block? I couldn't tell you. I walk a few feet (that's not an exaggeration) and am in pain because of the muscle atrophy in my legs. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NO. NUH-UH. NOPE. Do you get dessert normally while out to eat? No. Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever found a stray dog & found its owners? Not that I recall. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not everything, no. When was the last time you told someone you love them? Last night. Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed? Ma. When was the last time that you were genuinely happy? Good damn question. Have you ever dyed your hair? Plenty of times. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I don't know; when you hate your body enough, you'll do a lot to avoid that. Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? Yes. Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No. A conceited asshole is the last kind of person I'm dating. Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Well I mean what's the vibe lmao Do you like to cuddle? Yeah, if we're a close couple and it's not too hot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nah. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I wish we could, but even if he was willing, I don't think "friendship" is possible between us. What is something “cheesy” that you own? Ha, I have this feminine-looking "she believed she could so she did" wall decor thing... I can't remember if I bought it or if it was gifted. What is something that gets your creative juices flowing? MUSIC!!! What drink are you most likely to order at a bar? Some kind of margarita. What is the most interesting class that you took in high school or college? Mythology, I guess? When was the last time that you’ve ever played Spin the Bottle? I never have to begin with. If you were an adult film star or a stripper, what would your stage name be? I can't even try to entertain this question. Even if I WANTED to be one, I would never be hired. I couldn't seriously think of a name. Have you ever wanted to be a cheerleader? No, not even when I was one as a kid lmao. Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it? Yeah. The first one, he couldn't handle my depression anymore. With my last partner, we kinda had a mutual agreement that to save us from potential later heartbreak, we needed to work more on ourselves right now. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Hm. Idk. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Have you ever had lice? No. What is the most childish thing that you still do? I mean, with RP, you could argue that I still "play pretend." Have you ever watched a movie you knew you shouldn’t? As a kid, I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to see whatever Scary Movie film it was when I did, aha. Have you ever wanted to try LARP (Live Action Role-Play)? Nah. I'm awkward enough explaining I just write it. If you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did, what would it be? The "thanks for sending me to the hospital" message to Jason. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever embarrassed you? Jason did before, if we're counting past partners. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? I never thought of that in any relationship, no. Have you ever been caught checking someone out? Not to my recollection. Not that I even do that much. Have you ever cried because you missed your parents so much? Oh, absofuckinglutely as a little kid. I had BAD separation anxiety from my mom. Have you ever posted something on social media that you regret? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever ding dong ditched someone? No. Which is worst: Snakes, scorpions, or spiders? I adore snakes. Some spiders scare me, especially if they catch me by surprise. Scorpions aren't native here, so I've actually never come across one, so I'd probably be more curious than frightened. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? An attic, yeah. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? Has anyone not? Well, I suppose this depends on your environment. Playing outside in the country as a kid a lot, and especially walking through tall grass to reach fishing spots with Dad, I've had lots. I'm terrified of parasites so those were never fun times. What color is your mom’s car? White. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? No. How high off the ground is your bed? The average, ig. What is the cutest breed of dog? That's such a hard question, but I think I tend to lean towards pugs, though I don't support breeding them or any other type that is a medical catastrophe. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Holding a conversation. I call BS. What does your bedside lamp look like? It's a creamy color with a floral design. It was already here at the house when we moved in. Do you like your neighbors? I don't know them. Does your room need to be cleaned? I need to finish decorating it... and dust the dresser. What was the last bug you saw? Ugh, a fucking ant. This house has had an ant problem before, and now they're showing up in my room here and there. Do you place any value in gender roles? Literally zero. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Well, I suppose it would depend on the person. How strong is that platonic relationship? Are you in love? Do you want to be? I don't think *in* love anymore, no; I reasoned myself out of that. I think most people WANT to be in the name of companionship, and being a pretty hopeless romantic, your wild guess would probably be right. Would you be happy with a life without romance? I'd live. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Nope. Religion only ever brought me confusion, pain, and frustration. Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am very much a believer in free will and that you sculpt your own fate. Was your childhood happy? For the most part. What are you missing from your life? Excitement. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No. And if my country did something fucked up, I wouldn't stand with the masses just because I live here. What’s the latest YouTube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched? Snake Discovery, like, hardcore. Does it snow where you live? Every now and then, but it's super rare for the snow to stick, and it's maybe even rarer that we get a good or fun amount. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? UGGGGHHHHHH I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER W/ SHORT HAIR. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Not really on my phone, no. I don't have good image quality on my phone, so editing tends to make it worse. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO if I'm actually in a place with spawns. Which season do you wish would last longer? Sigh, autumn. At least here, the colorful phase is pretty short. It's like... green leaves one day, a beautiful display for a week, then the trees are bare. It's still my favorite season, though. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? Nah. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, duh. Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. I've got nothing against people who do, but I've just never seen the appeal of it at all. I would want my hypothetical child to have their completely own identity.

[aquabreezeproductions]

Twoleg of Thunderclan II: Chapter 6: Author's Note

It has been over ten years (eleven, to be exact) since I updated this story. I can't believe it's been that long. I started writing The Twoleg of ThunderClan in 2006 after my friend Julia (who goes by Bramblebelly on fanfiction.net) introduced me to the concept of fanfiction. We were both huge fans of the Warriors Series at the time, so after talking with her, I typed up the first chapter (version 1 of at least 4) in an afternoon on an old Dell laptop. 

I was surprised and flattered by the response it got, and continue to be to this day. I mean... you guys know I wrote the bulk of the story when I was in middle school, right?! My writing has improved SO MUCH since then. And I look back on some of the decisions I made and I cringe. A pregnancy twist? Not to mention Smudge being unneutered?! What was I on?! (If I remember correctly, I was taking Ritalin at the time, so... that’s probably it.) But regardless, you loved it and still do. And so I think you deserve an explanation of where I’ve been and what the delay with updates is about.

If it wasn’t entirely obvious, a lot of the decisions I made were spur of the moment, especially before the sequel got going. I wrote Chapter 2 on my friend’s computer in one afternoon with her looking on and helping me out. That friend, Becky, goes by Yellowfur on fanfiction.net and ended up writing more fanfics than I’ve ever even imagined. She’s since written at least one play that was actually performed in real life. Isn’t that awesome? (Sure, I’m a bit jealous, but still.) Another chapter I wrote while visiting my friend Raye in Vermont, in between visiting the Ben & Jerry’s factory, of course. These writing sessions were fun at the time and have a lot of great memories attached to them, not to mention they were great ways to spend an afternoon/evening and channel my creativity, but in hindsight, they didn’t always produce the best work I’ve ever done.

But, things started to change. I got way into Avatar: The Last Airbender, and the Warriors series got left behind. I still updated The Twoleg of Thunderclan when I could because it had a following, but I wasn’t as passionate about it, and so it was updated less and less frequently. I’ve also become a bit of a perfectionist. It’s SO important to me for something I write to be as perfect as it possibly could be, so it’s probably part of the lack of updates, too.

As time went on. my attention drifted to Avatar fanfics, then to other Avatar-related things, and then farther and farther away from The Twoleg of Thunderclan. Fandoms like Law & Order: SVU, and recently Ace Attorney, the X-Files and Yuri on Ice. I started playing video games to a point where I became addicted. (I still struggle with spending too much time playing games. but it’s not where it once was.) I graduated high school, got depressed, took a gap year, traveled, then went to college and got a dog. Then I left college, went back, basically failed out and got a campaign internship, got fired from said internship, then took years to work on myself before getting a food service job that went from the start of last year until coronavirus put me on indefinite furlough in March. Miranda’s story would return to my mind from time to time, but I could never sit down and do anything more than rewrite the first chapter for the upteenth time.

In June 2006, when the first chapter hit fanfiction.net, I was only 12. I’m now 26. A few years ago, the story had its tenth anniversary- its fifteenth anniversary is next year, as a matter of fact. But now that I’m older, I think I appreciate more fully the love that The Twoleg of Thunderclan continues to get. (Do I have a fanbase or something? idk probably not.) Even the (somewhat well-deserved) hate that it gets is motivating. And I think it’s time that this fanfic gets a finished story.

I know I’m not the only writer that’s left a story to rot, and I’m not shaming anyone who has. I understand perfectly why writers do that. But over the years, I’ve felt immense guilt for not continuing the story. Sure, I’ve known what the rest of Miranda’s journey would be like, since it’s in my head. But the rest of you have only been able to guess, and that’s not fair to you guys. You deserve better.

The writing bug has finally come back to me recently- the coronavirus has left me time to think, of course, but I’ve found myself with a group of friends playing Final Fantasy XIV almost daily. One of our group is an audio YouTuber, and I’ve started to think about writing scripts for him, so keep an eye out for that (if you’re 18 or over.)

Now, I’ll do my best to update timely, and try to give you the best estimates I can. But I can’t promise I won’t fall victim to perfectionism, or depression, or real life and the stresses it entails. I’m only human, you know. But I promised myself I would finish and post Chapter 6 as soon as I could, and here I am. Here it is, after eleven years.

A quick note about the future: I’m going to be re-writing the chapters that have already been posted. The first Twoleg of Thunderclan will probably end up with more chapters, and certain plot points will be edited out or changed. (I may get rid of Mistpaw and the kits altogether.) I’m going to try to be more descriptive with the earlier chapters, and make sure everyone’s in character. I’ve also been working hard on developing Miranda’s character, and I’ll continue to do that. I never saw her as a self-insert, and I’ve been making as sure as I possibly can that she stays as far away from Mary Sue status as possible.

The definitive version of the first story will be posted on my Archive of Our Own account, so if you’d like to read only the rewritten/finished chapters, in order, that’s where they’ll be posted. I figure that’s a better way of telling you guys that there’s a rewritten chapter than just posting it over the old version on ff.net and hoping you guys notice.

And yes, the second story will be finished. And there might be plans for a third story, but that’s little more than some brief ideas right now. I’m also leaning towards ending TTOT after the second story- but a nice, complete, proper ending that it deserves, and that you all deserve. I’ll be able to give you guys more information on that when we get closer to the end of this story.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Go read Chapter 6 on ff.net here, and on AO3 (when it makes it over there along with the rewrites)! If you guys have any questions/comments that don’t fit into reviews on FF.Net/AO3, feel free to shoot me an ask on this blog or my personal blog, aquabreeze, or contact me on Twitter at @zmcadler I hope you all like the new chapter, and thank you so much for continuing to support my writing.

[purplesurveys]

752

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, my girlfriend is super laidback and in fact she’s always the one encouraging me to go out and try new stuff with other people.

Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No but that doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do either.

How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? In a romantic sense, once. I’ve had my heart crushed in other ways as well, like when a loved one dies.

Who last grabbed your ass? It’s definitely Gab but I don’t remember when that was. It’s been a while.

Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah man, I was big on that from 2016-2017. If I remember correctly I had a short lapse last year too, which is disappointing.

Do you get a 'Good Morning' text from someone every day? Not everyday but often enough. I like them; I do feel like I need greetings like those more so these days since I haven’t gotten to see anyone other than my family for two months now.

Do you have any gay family members? I honestly think I do but my family is so secretive about everything, from family drama to who has a terminal illness to sexual orientation. I will probably be the first one to publicly come out, if everything goes right in the new few months.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? I got it from one of the independent clothing stores in Feliz. They sold all these really cute tiny halter tops for only ₱80 each ($1.60)?!?!?! which was wild so I went ahead and got like four, and one of them is what I’m wearing at the moment. I’m so desperate to be outside, or at least, feel like I’m outside, so I’ve taken to wearing the clothes I’d wear in public right at home loooool.

Do any of your friends dislike each other? Yes lmao it’s hilarious. Andrew (who’s part of the newer wave of members in our org) has never been able to win over my OG org friends – Jo, Kate, Aya – so it gets super awkward when both ~generations~ get together in org parties. Since I’m everyone’s friend I always have to divide my time between groups or tables so that I get to spend time with everyone :(

Who is your last missed call from? It was from Angela’s mom, who called on the morning of my birthday to greet me. I feel bad about missing the call but you have to know that I hate getting calls from anyone other than Gabie, so when I woke up to my phone ringing I just rolled over to the other side and let the call pass. I did thank her profusely once I was properly up though.

Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? This was me last night. As a journalism major, I felt very helpless seeing ABS-CBN get off the air at 7:47 PM and even more helpless when I saw so many people rejoicing over their shutdown, with absolutely no regard for the 11,000 employees who have just lost their jobs. Times have been hard enough in the country because of the government’s poor response to the virus, and now one of our biggest sources of news and information has also been silenced. It was enough to make me shut down last night and I just couldn’t do anything, couldn’t think properly, couldn’t even talk to my girlfriend.

Was your first kiss romantic? I’ve always thought it had been more awkward, but when we got to talking about it in the past my girlfriend apparently found it very romantic and sweet.

Do you miss any of your ex's right now? No ex.

Have you ever overdosed on anything? I have not.

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? Look two questions above.

Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed? No one texted me before bed but I did get a text upon waking up this morning; it was Andrew. I’m guessing they saw that I deactivated all my social media last night because they texted their concern for me and told me they were gonna be there for me if I needed anyone to talk to.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? One.

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color? Answered this in a survey but yeah, Maroon and Black.

What are you most likely to go to jail for? Ooh I dunno, I’m honestly such a goody two shoes skskksks. Does answering back to the police count? That’s the legit worst thing I imagine myself doing.

Where was your last kiss? Near my car. I was leaving Gabie’s place and she walked me to my car, and I gave her a kiss before I left.

Who was your date to Prom? My cousin. I didn’t give a shit about prom during my junior year since I was super infatuated with Gabie then, I was already seeing her, and I still had no guy friends, but because prom in my school was mandatory attendance I just pulled my favorite cousin to be with me that night.

Do you still talk to your first love? Yeah, I’m still with her to this day.

Whose wedding did you go to first? I honestly don’t remember since I was gotten as flower girl so many times as a toddler. I do have photos of being a flower girl when I was 3 and at least, that’s the oldest-documented wedding I was in. I don’t know whose it was, but it must have been a very distant relative since I only went with my paternal grandparents and absolutely no one else from my family, not even my parents lol.

When is the last time you went to the beach? Nasugbu, August 2019.

Do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? For sure. April was a fucking blur.

Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? No but my friends have always made me feel like not dating Mike was a bullet dodged. I dunno what to think of it though as I barely knew/know him.

What about anyone you've been friends with? Mostly no, since former friends were important to me at some point and to be ashamed of them is to throw away the good times we did have, but I do prefer to dissociate myself from Athenna. Her behavior has turned so rotten in college and she badmouthed Angela and made her miserable for a very long time; it’s like I have no clue who she is now. Apparently people in her school also think she’s a fucking weirdo, so that has just made me all the more confused about what’s happened to her through the years.

Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? In the sea, yes. Not in a pool since there’s always kids around.

What are you doing this weekend? Same thing I’ve been doing the last 51 days I guess: have late breakfast, take several surveys, maybe take a nap, continue my Spanish lessons, play with my dog, take more surveys, maybe meet some progress on my thesis if I feel mentally capable to work on it.

Who’s the last person that slept over your house? I think it was Gabie. I’m really the only family member that brings over someone at our place for the night haha, and it’s usually Gabie.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes.

Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No but this did remind me of when I used to have a big crush on CM Punk, who used to have a lip ring hahahahahaha.

Is it hard for you to get over a lover? As a demi, I imagine it would be very hard as it would also be losing a best friend.

Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? I wouldn’t say that. I have a couple of close friends though.

Was your mom ever a stripper? No.

Do you regret any of the relationships you were in? A little bit. I wish my first relationship with Gabie ended months sooner than it actually did. The last few months of it were just us beating around the bush and physically avoiding it each other in school; it was a huge waste of time.

Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Yes, that’s what I did when we ^ finally broke up. By the time we broke up I had long accepted that the relationship wasn’t working and I was already doing a little fine, and I was well enough to do stuff to make her see that she was missing out. It’s high school pettiness so I’ve forgiven myself for it lol.

Would you ever get a boob job? I’ve definitely thought about it but idk. I’ll have to be rich enough to want to allot money for plastic surgery because it’s not very essential for me.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Because of her.

Who is the last person you flirted with? Just my girlfriend.

Whos the most racist person you know? Probably my mom. She has said some eyeroll-worthy stuff about the Chinese throughout the lockdown and I remember she initially had a negative reaction to my cousin Joelle when she introduced us to her black fiancé. I do know she’s a bit scared of me because I wouldn’t hesitate to call her out on her racism, so thankfully her statements have lessened over the years.

Do people ever compliment your eyes? Not really. It’s not a strong suit.

Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? Eh, just about small stuff like lying about not being hungry.

When is the last time you saw one of your ex's? Gabie was my ex at one point I guess? I last saw her March 7th.

Who was the last person you hung out with? Also Gabie. She was the last non-family member I saw before the whole world fell apart, basically lol.

Which one of your ex's do you hate the most?

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No. I never understood why it’s a big deal for a lot of couples and I’d genuinely like to hear a good reason why. We don’t watch porn together but Gab and I would definitely watch some on our own time and it hasn’t affected our relationship or sex life at all.

Out of everyone you kissed, give me the initials of the best kisser? I’ve only kissed one person and she kisses amazingly, so GAD.

Do you regret a lot of things you did in the past? No. Just some small stuff here and there.

How many people have you kissed this year? One.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? One.

How long have you known the last person you kissed? I have technically known her since 2002, but we didn’t know each other and become friends until 2011.

Do you think one of your friends is a slut? No. One of my former acquaintances was and I’m so not saying that in a judgy way lmao she can fuck whoever she wants whenever she wants, but I don’t really talk to her anymore + she’s no longer single.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

[evangclines-blog1]

what  if  we  ......  pretended  this  was  a  good  intro  .....  aha  just  kidding  .....  unless  ?  i  was  just  gonna  link  to  all  my  stuff  but  ...  ur  girl  wrote  a  lot  and  i  don’t  wanna  be  cruel  and  force  u  all  to  read  everything  JDBWBDJBWJ  so  here we  go  !!   <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.   

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3 

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY:  suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after 

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away 

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !! 

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3 

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced. 

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

 goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

 moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management. 

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense. 

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3 

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear. 

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number 

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3 

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions. 

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting 

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it 

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company 

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately 

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time... 

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

[joeybelle]

Oh, how the tables have turned -- Part 3

Clyde Logan x Reader

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt

Warnings: Language, first person POV, driving under the influence cause I assume everyone does it in that movie, IDK what I’m doing.

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-Heist

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw​ @kyloren-supreme-ben​ @onmyknees4steve​ @elsablackswift​ @helloimindelaware​ @mwcritics

A.N: I’ve decided to slice this fic into 3000-ish words parts for people to be able to scroll past it without much annoyance. Pert 3 ended up being much longer than expected, so i had to cut it into two parts somewhere in the middle. It’s not perfect, but you’ll be getting both parts today. When I finish editing. Might take a while. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story. Feel free to drop me a line anytime or just message me if you wanna squee about Clyde Logan in general.

Rejection is always a tough pill to swallow. It wasn’t the first I’d gotten rejected and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it still didn’t go down easily. I found myself moping at home the next few days, following what I’d gotten used to calling the ‘series of unfortunate events’ related to Clyde Logan. Not that I had that many alternatives anyway, being a friendless nobody in a small town, but this time it felt self-imposed.

In the meantime I cut the grass in my yard and discovered a few rose bushes that were beautiful, but mean to my hands, I watched how the living room ceiling started leaking one rainy afternoon, signalling a pretty serious hole in the roof, nearly broke my neck going into the basement because there was a missing step I hadn’t seen before; I opened the vodka bottle all by myself and realized that he had been right, drinking alone wasn’t fun at all, but I was doing it anyway to hide my shame; I ate ice cream and binged Netflix shows for the rest of the week.

But there’s a limit to how much time you can spend alone at home before starting to go insane. I reached mine the next weekend and for a moment I considered paying Mellie a visit, but then I remembered the whole Clyde ordeal and I decided against it. I was sure that he’d told her everything and I really didn’t feel like talking about it. It was bad enough that I was beating myself up over it, I didn’t need someone else to rub it in. So, since the Duck Tape was off-limits for obvious reasons, and I didn’t feel like exploring for another bar in the neighbourhood I was left with only one option: the country fair.

I used to really love country fairs and carnivals and all that when I was a teenager, but it was probably because I’d be with my friends and there would be booze and food and we’d just be stupid together. I wasn’t sure I’d find them as charming nowadays, but at least I’d be moping outside, in public, which was an improvement to being secluded in my own home, waiting for another rain to invade the living room through the ceiling. So I showered, dressed like a semi-decent swamp witch and went to the damn thing.

As expected, the country fair didn’t impress me at all but it was a way to kill a few hours while feeling like less of a hermit than usual. I ate something, tested some insanely sweet drinks, and stuffed my face with enough ice cream to endanger my health, so in the end I found myself sitting on a bench, dangerously close to a food coma, with nothing better to do than to watch the crowd. Other people seemed to have way more fun than me. There were couples holding hands, parents with their kids, teenagers in groups visiting attractions and Clyde Logan with a blonde kid attached to his arm. Wait, what?

I have to say, this was the last place I had expected to see Clyde Logan. In my head, country fairs didn’t really fit his style (because I had spoken to him twice and I knew all there was to know about the man, obviously), and I assumed he’d be too busy with the bar to come to one anyway. I remembered that it was pretty early and the bar probably wasn’t open yet, but his presence in my field of vision was still unexpected.

I sighed dramatically and leaned back, arms crossed over my chest. Speak about bad luck, I thought. I came here to avoid him and here he was, swinging a blonde kid on his very toned arm. Actually, I didn’t mind the view. He was distracted by the kid and far enough not to notice my staring, so I indulged in it for a moment. There’s no harm in looking, right? Especially when he was wearing a dark, short-sleeved shirt that seemed at least a size too small, the buttons threatening to give in anytime he flexed his muscles while lifting the little girl in the air. His niece? Maybe. She seemed vaguely familiar, so I assumed she had been part of the onslaught of school kids that were sent to visit the college I worked at. Or maybe she was his kid. I had no way of knowing for sure.

Whatever the case, he looked really good doing it. He was smiling for a change. An open and honest smile lit up his usually somber face, and I just couldn’t look away. I caught myself wishing he would smile at me like that, but then I realized that we were practically strangers and I hadn’t made the best impression the first time we met. And since he clearly rejected me, I had to get over this crush ASAP if I wanted to live peacefully in this town.

The little girl let go of his arm and ran back to a couple that, after a bit of squinting, I recognized to be Jimmy Logan and his sister Mellie. They both looked different—after all it had been more than a decade since I’d last seen them—but not so much that I didn’t recognize them. Jimmy lifted the girl in the air and kissed her, then put her down and looked straight at me with a shit eating grin on his face. The feeling was similar to being punched in the gut. I remembered that in another life I’d dreamed of Jimmy Logan looking at me with a smile, but right now the only thing I felt was panic, so I decided to get the hell out of there before Mellie noticed me and I’d have to be part of a very awkward conversation.

But luck definitely wasn’t on my side today, because the little girl started running towards me yelling ‘Miss’ at the top of her lungs. Oh, now I recognized her: she was the pageant girl. Really smart kid, very bubbly and friendly, talked my ear off during the college tour. Her favourite subject was, of course, pageants.

“Hi!” I said, when she stopped in front of me, grinning from ear to ear. “You must be… uhhh… uhhhh.” Crap. I had been calling her pageant girl in my head for so long that I’d forgotten her name.

“Sadie!” she helpfully reminded me.

“Sadie, right. How are you today?”

“Good. Daddy brought me to the fair to see the auctioneers. And later uncle Clyde will win me a unicorn.” I did my best not to steal a glance at Clyde at the mention of his name, not wanting to invite any more attention towards me. Hopefully I’d be able to get out of here before the adults ganged up on me.

“Awesome!” I said, panic clearly noticeable in my voice, because Jimmy Logan was rapidly approaching (despite his visible limp) with Mellie following closely. “It was nice seeing you today, Sadie, but I have to go now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your unicorn.”

“Aw, leaving already?” She looked genuinely sad and I felt bad for her, but I felt even worse for myself, so I had to go.

“Yeah, leaving already? Without even saying hello?” Jimmy caught up to us before I was able to disappear, so I put on my most believable fake smile and hoped for the best. “Come on, don’t be a stranger, Baby,” he said, pulling me into a hug.

“Well, I kinda thought I was,” I mumbled, but returned the hug. He seemed like a nice person, plus I’d held him on a pedestal for so many years that I could indulge in a hug.

“Daddy, why are you calling her baby?” Sadie aske, giggling.

“Cause that’s her nickname,” he said, ruffling her hair. He explained to her that I’d been called baby ever since I was little, but she had to be polite and call me by my real name. The kid giggled again and I mouthed ‘I hate it’ which made her laugh harder, before turning to face her dad once again.

“I am surprised you know that. I lived under the impression that you had no idea who I was,” I said, going to hug his sister. “Hi Mellie, long time no see.” In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and pretended we were at least acquaintances. And although I knew it could be interpreted that way, I wasn’t bitter that he never acknowledged me in my teens—after all, it was just puppy love and it had been a decade since then—but I was curious what had prompted this sudden display of familiarity. If anything, I would have expected Mellie to come alone to say hi.

“Hiya, sweetheart. It’s good to have you back.” She warmly returned my hug.

“What do you mean I had no idea who you were? You’ve been coming to my games since you were twelve and cheered louder than the whole cheerleading squad.” That was true. “How could I not know my biggest fan?”

“So you what, ignored me on purpose?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he said and laughed. His laugh was still the same as I remembered, loud and contagious. “But my brother here had the biggest crush on you and I just didn’t wanna make him more jealous.” Well, this was unexpected.

Clyde had conveniently stayed out of my line of sight, keeping his distance, but now I turned to look at him. Never in my life had I seen anyone blush so furiously in a matter of seconds, his whole face even his ears becoming a deep shade of red. He was glaring at Jimmy who seemed really unfazed by it.

“Is that so?” I pressed, feigning innocence, but deep inside me there was a little devil laughing maniacally. I mean, I was aware that it wasn’t very nice of me, but I was feeling a tiny bit of petty satisfaction knowing that I wasn’t the only one embarassed by the whole situation. Misery loves company.

“Yeah, he only ever came to my games to see you cheer,” Jimmy said, same shit eating grin plastered on his face, seeming completely oblivious to his brother’s discomfort.

I smiled back but wonder what Jimmy’s motive was. Talking to me out of the blue, after never acknowledging me before, snitching on his brother in a matter of seconds. I knew he was insanely loyal to his family, so why sell him now?

On the whole, the situation was beyond comical. Jimmy was grinning, Clyde seemed set on killing him with a glare, Sadie attached to his arm again asking ‘Is that true, uncle Clyde’ over and over again until he finally mumbled something that sounded like ‘It was a long time ago’. He looked at me like a deer (or a moose) caught in the headlights and I could feel my own cheeks burning. I was in hell.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?” I asked Mellie, who stood next to me, arms crossed and an amused smile playing on her face.

“‘Cause he’s a bit of a coward and you were infatuated with my other brother,” she kindly explained.

“Right.” Made sense. I still felt like something that I should have known about back then— who knows, I might have liked him back—or you know, forever hold your silence type of thing. But knowing this now explained a lot of things.

Now that the petty satisfaction that I had felt for embarrassing him had died down a little bit, I understood why Clyde rejected me and didn’t seem to react to my flirting. If someone I had been crushing on in my teens showed up on day, insulted me or trampled on my insecurities then tried flirting with me I would have been much less gracious in rejecting them than Clyde had been. Yes, it had been more than a decade since highschool, and I was pretty sure his crush on me was dead and buried (like the one I used to have on Jimmy), but it was something that could potentially still hurt after years. So once again I was flooded by guilt.

“Well, it was… uhh… fun meeting you guys, but I have to head back now,” I said, getting ready to bail. Enough embarrassment for a day. Served me right for wanting to get out of the safety of my home. Never again.

“Come on, we’ve just met and you wanna leave already?” Mellie said with a disappointed look on her face.

“It’s not that, I just have some things to do at home,” I tried excusing myself. “Give me your phone number and we can hang out another time,” I said fishing my phone out of my pocket.

“The things will still be there tomorrow, but you’re never getting back today,” Jimmy said with a wink.

“Wow, who knew my brother was a philosopher,” Mellie arched an eyebrow at him. I laughed.

“Please, Miss,” Sadie latched onto my hand, pulling me towards the booths. “Daddy said I’ll get to be your guide today, show you around the fair. Pleaaase.” How could you say no to a kid? Big-eyed, freckled, and more full of life than I’d ever been.

I looked over to Clyde who had returned to a somewhat normal shade, although there was still some pink tinting his cheeks. He still seemed highly uncomfortable about this whole thing, his whole body looking tense. I tried imagining what he felt: a week ago he was living a (supposedly) peaceful life and then Baby was back in town and he’d been insulted, hit on and then embarrassed by his brother in front of his family. If I’d been in his place, I would have faked my death and left the country by now.

“I don’t think I should…” I said, hoping that at least one of the siblings would take the hint and leave it be.

“Nonsense!” Jimmy proclaimed, patting me on the shoulder and nudging me towards Sadie. “Come stay with us a while and I promise you’ll have plenty of time to do whatever you were planning on doing.”

“Are you willing to help out?”

“If that’s what it takes…”

I snorted. “Half an hour then I’m gone,” I said, following them towards the booths. I send Clyde an apologetic look, hopefully he wouldn’t be bothered too much by my presence for the next half an hour. He seemed to have regained his composure and was following us closely.

Sadie was still holding my hand as we were mingling into the crowd of people staring at the attractions. She diligently explained to me what everything was, like it was my first time going to a country fair. It was entertaining to watch. She was a really cute kid and honestly, after so many days of self-imposed isolation, it was nice to interact with people in my free time.

“So, how’s it like being back in your hometown again?” Mellie asked, once Sadie ran over to her dad.

“Nice, peaceful.” Or that’s how it should have been, if I’d been a little smarter. “But it’s gonna take a bit of getting used to. It’s definitely keeping me busy. My roof just started leaking, something I never thought I’d have to experience, but hooray for adult life,” I laughed.

“Did you get it fixed?” she asked, a little concerned.

“No, not yet. Called a couple of contractors, but they didn’t have any opening this month.” I sighed. “I don’t have that many contacts in the area, but I’ll keep looking and hope there won’t be rain anytime soon.”

“That sucks,” she said and turned to her brother. “Hey Jimmy,” she yelled, “do you know anyone who can fix a roof?”

“What happened to it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, truthfully. “It’s just raining into my living room.”

“I can come take a look when I’m free. If it’s not something big I can fix it for you.” He offered.

“Thanks, but…” Was I stupid enough to refuse? Yes.

“You don’t trust my skills?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t want you to waste your free time fixing my leaky roof.” It wasn’t just that. I generally preferred to work with people I didn’t know, who were paid to do a job and with who I could argue at the end if the job wasn’t done properly. With friends and family, you just accept what you get, smile and then pay someone else to fix it later. Plus, if they refused payment, you’d have to find a way to make it up to them which meant more complications. And in this particular case I knew I shouldn’t be spending more time with Clyde or his family if I wanted my unrequited crush to die anytime soon. But how do I tell Jimmy that, when he seemed so eager to help?

“It’s no problem. I’ll take a look and if it’s something I can’t do, I’ll put you in touch with some people. When are you free?”

“Not sure, my schedule isn’t fully decided yet.”

“Then give me a call and we’ll see what works for the both of us. Clyde gimme your phone.” That earned him a frown from his brother.

“Why? What happened to your phone?” he said on what I guessed was a rather disapproving tone, but handed him the phone nonetheless.

“It’s broken.”

“He forgot to pay for it,” Sadie explained with a giggle.

“I didn’t forget, I’m not paying it in sign of protests to the shitty plan they forced down my throat,” he muttered. “Anyway, what’s your number?”

He punched in the number and gave me a call. I typed the name Clyde but then changed my mind and saved it as ‘Logan Bros’. Clyde never really wanted my number, so it was just a way for me to get in touch with Jimmy if I needed help. I decided to never call it unless the roof caught fire and I was trapped underneath.

The phone went back to Clyde and I saw him fiddle with it a bit, probably saving the number. I wondered what he saved me as. Probably used my real name, since I’d never heard him call me Baby. Although for some strange reason, I wouldn’t have minded even if he did. No matter how much I hated the nickname, I was sure I’d very much enjoy it if he moaned it in my ear as he pulled me closer to his chest and… stop. Restrain yourself, woman.

Sadie kept her promise and was a very good guide, which meant I was now very well acquainted with everything at the country fair. Jimmy had bought us corn dogs and cheesy fries and donuts and refused to let me pay for anything, so I retaliated by buying everyone snow cones and funnel cake. By the time we reached the shooting galleries, I was so full I was ready to burst.

As Sadie was searching the booths for the toy she wanted I bought a bottle of water, hoping to wash away the nausea caused by all that deep fried food I had shoved down my throat earlier. Seeing that Clyde had fallen behind and we could finally be alone for a bit, I decided to go and talk to him.

“Sorry for crashing your family outing,” I said, standing besides him as we both watched Sadie’s quest to find the best toy. “It wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s alright” he said, briefly glancing at me. “I have to apologize for how my brother acted today. I guess he’s just excited that you’re back in town. He doesn’t have that many friends.”

I had to admit that Jimmy Logan being lonely and not surrounded by hordes of friends was something that I would have never imagined. But I could see it now, after all we were both in the same position: two formerly popular kids that had fallen from grace and were now regular nobodies. Most friendships we made in our teens weren’t the kind that lasted a lifetime.

“I’m actually really enjoying this,” I said, trying to open the water bottle and failing. My hands were still very greasy from all that deep fried food. “But don’t tell anyone or I have a feeling I might get friend-dopted by your family and you’ll never get rid of me,” I said with a wink, to which he smiled. An actual smile. Directed at me.

“Lemme help you with that,” he said, noticing my pathetic attempt at opening the bottle. He held it under his left arm, effortlessly unscrewing the cap.

“I’m completely useless” I mumbled retrieving the bottle, and he chuckled.

In the meantime Sadie seemed to have found what she was looking for and dragged both Clyde and me towards one of the booths. She showed him what he wanted and after paying he was given a shabby airgun. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone look at a rifle with more contempt in their eyes. I was certain he was used to a different type of guns, especially since he had been in the military.

“Piece of crap,” he mumbled, to no one in particular, disgust clear in his voice.

“Welcome to the glamorous world of carnivals, Mr. Logan,” I laughed.

He shot me a dirty look and aimed. He missed the first two targets, but got the other three. It was still quite impressive, I was sure the only thing I’d be able to hit with any rifle would be my foot, especially since everyone knows the games are rigged and the guns aim screwed on purpose. He paid for another round and I kept my fingers crossed. Sadie had climbed onto her father’s shoulders and was cheering from above.

This time he got the first target with very little effort. And the second one. And the third. By the fourth I was probably as excited as Sadie, although a little less vocal. The fifth target came down just as effortlessly as the others and both Sadie and I cheered loudly. The vendor faked excitement and handed him the toy, making a bit of a spectacle to attract other customers. ‘Look everybody, you can win even with one arm!’ he bragged, and I hated him already, but Clyde didn’t even seem to notice.

“Which one do you want?” he asked Mellie, after giving Sadie her toy.

“One of those,” she said, pointing to a bunch of little plushies that could be hanged on the rearview mirror.

“Alright,” he said, and paid for another round. This time, it seemed like he didn’t even have to aim. He just pointed the rifle and the targets went down one after another, to the vendor’s increased irritation and to my delight.

Clyde gave the toy to his sister who thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, then turned to me. “Which one do you want?”

“Me?” I said, taken by surprise. “You want to get me one too?”

Masterlist

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[choisgirls]

This is my first time requesting a headcannon from anyone! ((I'm asking you guys because I love how you guys write, it's amazing!)) I was wondering if you could do a RFA + V + Saeran reaction to MC accidentally taking a drug thinking it's candy? ((You don't have to do this if it's too weird or something!! I'm sorry!! ;-; I'm so embarrassed lol))

A/N: Me?? the first??? i am hoNOURED ;u; HHHNNNNN I HOPE THIS ISOKAY SORRY I STRAYED FROM THE “THINKING ITS CANDY” PART SOMETIMES;;;;~Admin 404

 Me @ Saerans: im sorry no im not

 Idk if this is a TW or anything but… drug mention warning??Right here??

*YOOSUNG:

               -Yo he goesto /college/. /COLLEGE PARTIES MY FRIENDS./

               -He doesn’tnormally go but friends invited him, and he invited you! Totally wasn’t becausehe wanted to show you off to people??? No????

               -But youseemed a little more comfortable at these things than he did, you evendisappeared for a little while

               -He spentalmost an hour trying to find you amongst the sea of people, and when he didfind you, you seemed confused, dazed, and just completely out of it

               -Tried askingyou what was wrong and all you could do was stare at him with your eyes glossedover for a solid minute before you reacted to him actually being there

               -When youmade sense of his presence, you smiled and welcomed him very slowly beforesticking your tongue out to touch it

               -“Yoosung,is my tongue big? Is it.. big.. oh my god its growing. What if it won’t fit inmy mouth anymore?? YooSUNG WHaT WiLL I Do?!”

               -You nolonger had volume control over your voice and he is very concerned. One secondyou’re yelling, the next you’re whispering. What was wrong with you?? You werestarting to scare him;;

               -It took asolid 5 minutes for you to explain to him that someone had offered you somechocolate and you never turned down chocolate! But he remembered hearingsomeone say something about “edibles”.. is.. is that what it was? Didyou mistakenly take drugs?! Why weren’t you more careful?!

               -Strugglesto carry you home- arm thrown around his shoulder as his arms around your hip,the two of you have to stop every now and again because you’re contemplatingeverything around you. Once he’s got you home, he immediately tucks you into bed.Of course he went to the group chat to figure out what he should do, andSaeyoung told him to just make sure you slept it off.

               -In themorning he lectured you that you can’t take chocolate from people you don’tknow!! Especially if it doesn’t smell right- what in the world made you thinkit was safe;; Also, now refuses invites to parties because he doesn’t want totake you to another one and have this happen again

*ZEN:

               -HE WAS INA MOTORCYCLE GANG YOU CAN PRY THE THOUGHT THAT HE’S NEVER DONE DRUGS OUT OF MYCOLD DEAD HANDS

               -Whenstored correctly in an airtight baggy or pill bottle in the correct conditions,it’s possible to preserve ecstasy pills for /years/ at a time.

               -Cue springcleaning when the two of you are going through old boxes and clothing and youfind this small bag full of smiley face shaped things. They looked like shapedsweettarts and those are the type of candies that you eat when you find them,you never go out of your way to get them yourself, so you thought why not.Though it wasn’t sour, it was just really bitter and nasty and there was no wayyou were going to eat another one

               -But whenZen came in to check on you after finishing his own portion of cleaning, hefound you chewing the fabric of your shirt. Why were you chewing your shirt?Were you hungry? Were you focusing? Did you need him to get you some gum???Stop doing that!!!!

               -When younoticed him come into the room, your face immediately lit up. You gave him thebiggest smile you could manage, and you started to welcome him into the room.But welcoming him turned into talking about his clothes. Talking about hisclothes led to talking to him about the room. Talking about the room led totalking about him. And talking about him led to a 10 minute long ramble thatconsisted of repeating “I love you so much” and telling him howgorgeous he was.

               -Of course,that was a favourite topic amongst the two of you normally, but you justseemed… off this time. You seemed… /too/ excited to talk about him. Too inlove. Too…. happy

               -He satdown in front of you to take a good look at your eyes and read your actions.You smiled at him all over again and the very second you touched his face he/knew/ what had happened.

               -“WHEREDID YOU GET THAT. MC. RIGHT NOW. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT.” “Zenny~ Getwhat? Why are you yelling? Oh! Are we cheering? I can cheer! YAY ZEN YA-”“No no, sweetheart, sit down, please.”

               -After fightingto get you to show him what you took, he was mortified. E-ecstasy? Where didyou get that? It was his? When did he have this? HOW LONG AGO DID HE CLEAN OUTHIS CLOSET?

               -He got youa styrofoam cup full of water, he knew at some point you were going to bethirsty, /and/ need to chew on something. He didn’t want you to chew on yourclothes anymore, nor did he want you to accidently bite your tongue;;

               -For oncehe’s silent the rest of the day, making sure you’ve got something to chew on,listening to you ramble on and on about how nice the house is and how amazingyou thought he was. Definitely made sure to get rid of that baggy… and gothrough a few other boxes from him gang days to make sure there was nothingelse in there. Definitely lectures you on eating things you randomly find inold boxes among other things;

*JAEHEE:

               -MC who inthe world thinks accepting any sort of offer in a bathroom is okay??

               -You getoffered some chocolate in the bathroom, most people would immediately decline.Who.. who accepts that? MC? Why?

               -Younoticed it tasted a little gross but you didn’t want to be rude and spit it outin front of the people offering it to you, so you finished the piece and madeyour way back to the dinner table where Jaehee was waiting.

               -She was alittle concerned when she could smell the drug, but she didn’t think you didanything of the sort, and chalked it up to be someone near your table.

               -However,once your eyes started to turn a little red and glazed over, she decided thatyou must have truly taken the drug, and paid the bill as quickly as possible soshe could get you home.

               -On thewalk home was when it really kicked in. You kept telling her how soft her handswere, because you couldn’t remember that you had just told her the exact samething, word for word.

               -Youstumbled a little when you walked and kept trying to sit in the middle of thesidewalk because your legs felt like jelly.

               -At onepoint you started to cry because you weren’t sure why in the world anyone woulddrop their half eaten pretzel on the ground and leave it there, where evenbirds couldn’t reach it to eat. She couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculousyou sounded, though she was still extremely angry that you had taken drugs onyour date??

               -Once shegot you home and you sat down, she watched as your head would dip down beforeyou snapped it right back up to look at her. Apparently you kept blacking outin the matter of seconds before you woke back up and she wanted you to just laydown and sleep.

               -Figured itcouldn’t hurt to ask you just what happened back at the restaurant. You toldher about the people in the bathroom who offered you some of their chocolateand you kept giggling because you couldn’t believe someone would be nice enoughto just offer some chocolate to a stranger in the bathroom. That’s when itclicked that you had no idea what was hiding within the sweet.

               -Made yousleep it off the rest of the night. You better believe you’re getting one ofthe biggest, emotion-filled lectures of your life the moment you wake upbecause she needs to tell you about the dangers of just blindly taking ANYTHINGfrom strangers??? And she also had to explain to you what you had even done?And what was in the chocolate you decided to eat. Momma Jaehee, scolding you2kforever.

*JUMIN:

               -Being hiss/o can be dangerous and let me explain why for just a second

               -Of course,being the s/o of someone as popular (and handsome.. and rich… and powerful..)as Jumin Han, there is not only a lot of attention thrown your way, but there’salways someone who gets jealous (whether of you or of him)

               -So, youalways have to be on your toes because you never know what might happen, orwhat someone might do to you. Of course you have bodyguards but sometimes theycan slip up as well.

               -Like, notnoticing that someone had slipped something into your drink?

               -Normally,Jumin watches you and your surroundings like a hawk because he’s alwaysconcerned for you, but this time even he was distracted talking business with apotential new client and didn’t see it happen.

               -Luckilyfor the two of you, you had left the party early to head home, but on the waythere, whatever you had drank started to kick in.

               -Your legsgave out right before you passed the doorway and he caught you just in time.Completely distraught, and carried you quickly to the couch. Tried to ask youwhat was wrong, but you couldn’t get the words out of your mouth, all it endedup sounding like was one large mumble. You seemed to struggle to move yourlimbs until you couldn’t anymore.

               -Immediatelycalled a doctor to make a house visit. He didn’t care how late it was, he’d paywhatever he had to, so long as he could find out what was happening to you. Andafter the doctors analysis, it was obvious that someone had tried to slip you aRohypnol without you realizing it, and he was glad he brought you home beforeanything else had happened.

               -Not only doeshe increase his security in general, but he assigns a specific body guard towatch your drinks the next time the two of you went out as well as one to stayclose by you at all times at said parties.

               -Stays nextto you the whole time, never sleeping until you’re able to come to. He blameshimself the whole time and cannot help but think of every possible scenariothat could have happened to you that night. He knows it isn’t your fault, buthe’s still just so worried about you. He’s never been more stressed.

               -Hepromises to take care of you better from then on. He would never let anyonehurt you again, no matter what it took. The two of you have to hold each otherin reassurance (obviously whenever you’re feeling alright and are okay with it,he understands that it’s a scary occurrence and realizes it’s quite possiblefor you to be jumpy and not want to be touched for a large amount of timeafterwards)

*SAEYOUNG:

               -You can’ttell me he doesn’t have various drugs he uses as weapons on missions, you justcan’t.

               -He tellsyou to stay out of the room where he keeps his equipment, but do you listen?Yeah usually

               -But youfelt bad that Vanderwood was the one who always had to clean everything, so youdecided you would help out and clean a few rooms! His equipment room being oneof them.

               -Now,Saeyoung is known to leave food around. Everywhere. And I mean, any type offood as well. Half empty chip bags, week old slices of pizza, a slice oflasagna you made three weeks ago- that’s disgusting Saeyoung.

               -So comingacross something that looks almost candy like isn’t really uncommon in yourhousehold. Though, whatever you just picked up and decided to throw in yourmouth was not… your best decision.

               -A whilelater, you managed to stumble into the room where Saeyoung was sitting, typingaway at his computer. You kept trying to talk but all your words stumbled andyou couldn’t think straight. You kept stumbling and felt your knees gettingweak. He looked over right as you fell to the ground and he’s never run over toyou faster in his life

               -Soconcerned, he kept asking what was wrong and watched you try to talk, but notonly was your mouth unable to move, your body went limp. He recognized thesymptoms immediately and called out to Vanderwood to come help the two of you

               -He laidyou in bed and got you some water and just tried to get you to sleep- there wasno other way to get it out of your system but wait it out

               -Vanderwoodcame in with a judgmental look on their face, “Did they really just takesome random thing they found? Why do you have these lying around, Seven?”

               -When youfinally came to, he was so relieved and was constantly apologizing before aswitch flipped and he started to scold you. What would possess you to just..eat something you found? What do you mean it looked like candy? He doesn’tleave food around! Okay.. yes he does.. but really, MC! Why were you in hisequipment room? W-why were you turning this around on him? He has that Rohypnolfor missions! You could just ask Vanderwood!

               -Vanderwoodadmits to slipping them to Seven sometimes when they’re done dealing with him,how rude.

*JIHYUN:

               -‘Jihyunwould never do drugs!’ -you, probably, at me. Me, at you, dear reader: ‘Rip thethought of it out of my cold, dead hands’

               -Sometimeshe just has to calm down, the poor dude has dealt with so much shit and justneeds a little help to clear his mind and the tobacco pipe just doesn’t alwayshelp.

               -Surprisinglylikes sour candy! So he gets some infused sour peach rings and they’re hisfavourites.

               -But heneglected to tell you that they were infused?? And that you probably shouldn’teat them?? Nor should you eat more than a few…

               -So when hecame home to find you laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, trying tocount how many times the fan spun around, he figured pretty quickly that youhad gotten into his candy and he sighed

               -He laiddown next to you on the ground, watching the fan as well while he asked youwhat you had eaten to confirm his suspicions. When you told him you had somepeach rings, he couldn’t stop the soft laugh that came out afterwards

               -Totallyeats a few as well so the two of you can just relax and practically melt intothe floor

               -Youcouldn’t stop talking. Anything and everything that came to your mind came outof your mouth. It was slow and thought out, but still came out. Every word waslike heaven to his ears and he felt like he could just float along with yourvoice

               -The two ofyou just talk and speculate about the future, about the past, sometimes the twoof you come up with extremely odd (but funny) thoughts about the rest of yourfriends

               -You keptrunning your hand through his hair and kept telling him just how amazingly softit felt and he could just tell that you had way more than he had. He had toremember to lecture you not to eat every kind of candy you find.

               -Or… toat least not eat as much as you did. And definitely not do it alone

*SAERAN (or… Ray *insert the eye emoji here*):

               -“MC,here, I made this specially for you.”

               -In thebottle was a bright, blue, sweet smelling liquid. You didn’t know what it was,exactly, but it was obviously very odd.

               -You tookthe bottle. Ray hasn’t given you any sort of bad vibe or reason to not trusthim the whole time you’ve been here. Though, he kept telling you that steps hadto be taken to allow you to stay there, with him, for as long as you’d like.

               -“MC,”he started, gently wrapping his hand around your own that held the bottle,“Please. Don’t you trust me? I care about you a lot..” his voicedropped off as he looked from your eyes to the ground.

               -After adeep breath, you broke away from his grip to bring the bottle to your lips. Inone fluid motion, you let the sweet tasting liquid run down the back of yourthroat. It burned a bit going down, but immediately numbed afterwards.

               -You methis eyes, as his face lit up with joy. Eyes started to sparkle, and his smilegrew bigger than you’ve seen it the past few days

               -He tookyour hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to plant a small kiss on yourknuckles as he waited for the elixir to kick in. He watched, as you started tolightly shake and threw your hands to your head, holding it and squeezing youreyes shut.

               -Your headstarted to pound as the room began to spin. Your eyes started to wateruncontrollably and you couldn’t make sense of any of your surroundings. Soundsmixed together and seems to scream in your ears. Your breath hitched in yourthroat and you started to gasp for air.

               -Ray buriedhis hand into the hair at the back of your head, pulling you close to his chest

               -He placeda small kiss to the top of your head, smirking against your hair softly

               -“Youaren’t leaving me, MC.”

Masterlist

[livingllz-blog]

The Story of Us: Part 1

Here is what happened between me and a dude in college. I’m writing this so I can remember everything that happened between us. I will try my best to recall all the details. A lot of shit happened.

WELCOME WEEK:

It all started during welcome week. Parties galore. My group of friend were walking from a party alongside another group. We asked a guy in the group what they were doing and they said maybe hitting up another party. I remember my first impression of you was that you were Asian-obviously, but you also wasn’t that cute (lol sorry). You were nice and had a deep voice but I wasn’t attracted to you. ATM my type was still sporty white guys and you were not white. We exchanged phone numbers and my roommate exchanged snapchats with you, then we parted our ways. Later that night, I tried calling you about the address to another party but you didn’t pick up. The next day I added you on snap bc the more friends the merrier. Then on my way to math, we realized we passed each other since you was leaving math. For the next few days, we would smile and say “hi” to each other, the friendly greetings. One day when you passed me, you winked at me. That was kind of weird but I didn’t think much of it since I only really knew your name. But then the next day when we passed each other and we said hi to each other, you stopped and asked me “Hey are you in business 101?” I said yes and then you proceeded to ask me what teacher I had. Turns out we had the same teacher and you said “Cool, I need a study buddy” winked, and walked away. What a dude.

WEEK 2:

We snapchatted to meet up in my room and study for the first business quiz. I remember us sitting a whole couch cushion away from each other but you found your way to slowly move closer to me and ended up sitting next to me. I also remember us get off track from studying and talking about my room’s lack of a coffee table to put our feet up while sitting on the couch so I put my feet across your lap. It was pretty comfy. We had some good laughs. And then. My roommate walked into the kitchen.

That was the first time I was jealous.

It was the way you looked at her. I could definitely see I didn’t have your attention anymore. She politely said “hi” and you introduced yourself. You had a short casual conversation after and although I knew she wasn’t interested in you not only because she didn’t find you that attractive, but also in that she was w another guy ATM whom she really liked, I still felt a pang of jealousy. I’m not sure why I felt jealous; I still didn’t really find you attractive or like you but it just hurt to see your attention immediately drop to someone else. You wanted her more than me. This is something I’ll never forgive you for.

WEEK 3:

After our study sesh, we continued to snap and even started texting to make plans so you could help me w my math hw. I remember us arguing on how to spell aiya (that is the correct way btw). My friend (D) proved you wrong and you wouldn’t drop where I had gone to dinner w my group of friends. We went to Bonchan a wonderfully delicious korean fried chicken place.

This was the first time you got salty.

“Invite must of got lost in the mail” “Is that place famous or something” And when I told you no, you said “disappointing, it’s a waste of a trip” “you know (G) is always down for some good wings”

This was the first time you referred to yourself in the third person. I always thought it was so weird.

That weekend, you invited me to my first hockey party but conveniently I was busy at a Temple banger so I said I might stop by when I got back. “But (G) wants you to come”

That was the second time you referred to yourself in the third person. It was still as weird as the first time.

**Somewhere between week 3 and 4, we met up and you told me you liked me. But here’s the problem. I didn’t know if I liked you or not. I met someone at the Temple party and he asked me out on a date. I didn’t want to limit myself only to you bc I wanted to explore this other guy and see if that would work out. You were so so understanding. That’s something I always admired you for, being understanding about me not knowing how I felt. You were willing to wait.

WEEK 4:

Even from the start of week 4, we made plans to eat together. You came to my room to pick me up and to my surprise, you came with one of your roommates (C). I assumed that meant it wasn’t a date. All good for me, I still didn’t like you yet. You started inviting me up to your room to “study”. “You can bring the hw up here if you want. Great studying environment” We even did the extra credit together, both taking notes on one chapter and sharing it w the other. Once, you even tried inviting yourself up to my room “so your saying I should come to you room” LOL I wasn’t even in my room and it was a wednesday night. What were you up to. I started realizing you wanted to spend a lot of time w me but I really didn’t want to alone just the two of us so I always asked to make sure at least one of your roommates was home “who else is home?” “are your roommates coming”

Since you had a fake, I remember asking you to get me a handle. Your response was “What does (G) getting return. Jk I got you. No but seriously” And when I cancelled the order since I didn’t need it anymore, you said “ill only get it if it’s for you” When I asked why, you said “no reason”

I asked to hangout that saturday. You had a game in an hour or so but we could hang in that time. “What do you wanna do?” “Idk what do you wanna do” Your answer: “fuck”. But when I didn’t bite, you also texted “um” “come up here in like 5 6 min an we will decide” I wonder what you did in those 5-6 mins. Maybe put your hand to good use.

That night, the hockey house threw another party and you sent me your location and even walked outside to greet me and my roommate when we got to the party. The entire night you were by my side bringing me drinks and entertaining me. (N) told me that night “you should fuck (G)! He’s really good at hockey, even upperclassmen know who he is! You guys would be really cute together and he really likes you” You even walked back with me since I needed to drop off my roommate, she was so faded and needed to sleep. I could tell you were disappointed nothing further happened that night after you said “what am I even doing here” (in my room). We walked back together to the hockey house but I left w some of your other friends. I had a long talk w (N) who really opened my eyes to the fact that you liked me- a lot. But you would also be really understanding if I told you otherwise.

We met up late that night to have our second talk.

I told you honestly that I had a date w another guy and that we shouldn’t be exclusive. The reason I wanted this talk was so in the end, you knew my game. I wasn’t leading you on, I just didn’t know how I felt. I didn’t want you to only like me and fall for me while I was talking to other ppl. That just wouldn’t have been fair to you. But then you told me “ “I wouldn’t just go fuck another girl bc you're always on your mind” and “I like you a lot Liz” It was honestly just so refreshing. All the guys I had met so far only wanted to hookup. None of them remained friends w me after I friend zoned them and here you were, being so okay w waiting for me. So that night, I thought it would be a good time to bring up my religion. I’m Christian and I’m waiting to have sex until marriage. I half expected you to just drop me. But again, you were SO BEYOND UNDERSTANDING about it. Maybe you were the guy I was looking for. That night changed my perception of you and that marks the point when I started liking you.

When we ended the talk and went back to your room, 2 girls were sleeping in your bed and you had nowhere to sleep. Against my better judgement, I was pushed to let you sleep in my bed w me. And we did.

That was the first time we slept together.

The next day, we spent the entire afternoon together outside on the lawn studying for business. It was not crazy productive but I just enjoyed the time we spent together. You asked me to dinner that night but sadly I made plans w my roommates and our friends across the hall. I invited you to eat w us but your excuse was “Idk haven’t thought that far ahead” which sounds like a salty no.