#idk. I'm just very very drained by this whole thing.

[whityoungangstblog]

"Bitter things should go down the drain..."

I was being serious when I said nobody was gonna stop me from making a whole Whit ANGST askblog btw-

Ohh wait- yeahh- that's where I'm supposed to introduce myself very awkwardly mb-

Hello fellow Whit fans, DT fandom in general !

Are you lacking of Whit ANGST in general?? No worries, I got you !

You can tell me as many ANGST HCs/Theories/Predictions (you don't actually need to go that far- just go with HCs if you wanna be simple) regarding Whit Young all you want !

Even if I may not agree much with the prompt, I'll still listen and try to consider it !

Though mind it. I'm handling this blog all by myself, so I might be busy and not respond to your asks- andd.. again, I'm bad at responding to asks- so, I might either give a sign of approval or.. just show your post-

I'll answer some questions I can predict I'll be asked though;

"Can we REALLY talk to you about anything regarding Whit?"

As long as it's ANGST, sure thing. (I will be lighthearted as well though, but VERY rarely.. since the whole purpose is literally ANGST)

"Can we talk about mastermind/traitor Whit here??"

Not sure if that falls in the category of ANGST, but I'll count it and.. go crazy !

"Is hurt-comfort allowed?"

Yep ! Yep it is.

"Can we mention other characters?"

Yeah, sure- just.. try to stay concentrated on the topic of the blog -^-" That's it.

"Do you have any limits?"

I don't believe so. However, I will have to say

Don't start an argument/drama in the asks/replies.

Don't ask anything TOO extreme 😶. (Idk how to explain.. but I hope you get it-)

That's pretty much it !

Have fun, looking forward to listening to what you have !

Main blog: @mystiquedrops !

[nomsfaultau]

Important PR Response to the Wilbur Soot scandal:

    Abuse in any form is abhorrent, and I condemn Wilbur’s actions. Previously I had established the division between people and personas in my work. I failed to reiterate the stance during the course of Fault, and would like rectify this now. I work with characters and not creators.

No works will be deleted. I will be continuing to use Wilbur Soot as a character only in preexisting works. Fault, Mandatory Family Reunion, and back burner projects will continue. The preplanned plot lines will not be altered greatly, so don’t expect sudden deaths, character assassination, name changes*, etc. However, I am not certain about Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home as it is Wilbur-centric so it may be abandoned.

The current plans for this blog’s future are as follows:

- My characters be tagged as ‘Noms Wilbur’ or ‘SCP Wilbur’ for people who want to block tags. If cc comes up, he'll be tagged.

- I will not be financially supporting Wilbur in any way. I believe this is an important component in any Death/Disavowal of the Author situation. My fics are unlikely to contribute to further monetary/platform support that facilitates the further harm of the victim/s.

- No new AUs will involve Wilbur, so as projects finish he will be phased out more and more. Though keep in mind Fault is an extremely long term project.

- For those who wish to disconnect from the fandom entirely and stop following this blog, I wish you the best. Genuinely. This is a rough situation.

If anyone has any respectful and reasonable questions/comments, the ask box is always open. Please do not engage in bad faith; I am trying to do my best here. Below the cut I discuss my personal justifications and philosophies upon the matter. I’m not trying to force them on anyone, so please return the same courtesy.

    My reasonings: As I said after Technoblade’s death, I’ve poured a little too much of my soul into this to stop. I fully understand the people who have walked away, because I also feel sick and angry and sad and just— betrayed that this person I admired and enjoyed was abusing the people around him. But I am not going to let Wilbur’s vile actions poison the pride in the art I’ve made. And the fandom? We built it, not him. These are our stories and our drawings and our joy. So many other wonderful creators and fans poured so much effort into this community. To me, it feels like a betrayal to Technoblade’s legacy to let everything be tarnished. And I’m just not ready to lose this fandom that has meant so much to me for 4 years.

    I’m going to try for a little nuance here, a dangerous game on Tumblr I know. But part of the betrayal that I’m sure many of us are feeling is the thought we were tricked into liking a bad person. I have a friend who has been pouring over all of Wilbur’s content the last few days, desperate to find all the red flags they missed, painting every single thing he’s ever done with the knowledge of the things we couldn’t have known. And it’s not healthy for them, or anyone. In many stories we like to have a clear cut good and bad guy, because it’s easier if it’s true. The abuser becomes a cartoonishly evil caricature that makes it harder to recognize them in real life, and it makes real victims seem stupid for being hurt when shouldn’t it be so easy to tell? But it’s not, it’s messy, and complicated, and awful. Because in real life, abusers are people, and they can do good things like charity streams and making you laugh when you’re having a bad day and fostering wonderful communities of creative, amazing fans. They seem generous, and kind, because…they are. And they’re also abusive. And it’s really hard to hold both truths at the same time, which is why people prefer jump to extremes of defending and demonization. We like to believe the people we like are good people.

    Truthfully, I don’t believe in ‘bad people’ which is probably evident in much of my writing. I find it a category that too often used to discourage growth, remove culpability, and dismantle nuance. The moment people become monsters there is no question of rehabilitative justice, no question of what conditions and structures enabled this that need to be mended, revised, or replaced. The question becomes how do we destroy the monster instead of how do we protect future victims. Remove support from Wilbur, yes, but the next step is to give that support to Shubble. Mobs are fun. They feel right. But monsters don’t exist, people do, and people are complicated and abuse is complicated and their solutions must be accordingly nuanced. Sticking one guy’s head on a pike might ‘save’ the victim (which: Shubble saved herself), but it doesn’t support them in the long run. And it certainly doesn’t address the underlying personal, mental, and societal problems that caused someone to be abusive and allowed them to be undetected. And if anything, when put in a corner most people only get more desperate and dangerous to others and themselves. Justice requires far more effort than monster hunting, which is why it is often rare. And like we already discussed, people are often bad at detecting when someone is abusive. I’m not saying Wilbur is innocent, obviously. I’m saying demonization is a dangerous game and most people have done good and bad.

    But also, most people aren’t abusive pieces of shit.

    I don’t want to demonize Wilbur, but also I’m not going to wipe my hands of it by throwing my hands up, claiming there’s too much nuance blah blah morals are complicated, and then not actually hold him accountable. Wilbur does not deserve a platform with which to perpetuate his harmful actions. In reaction to this, we need to build systems and communities that don’t enable abuse, to support victims, and to help abusers become better without giving them the opportunity to hurt other people or themselves. Which, you know, is *slightly* outside the scope of one SBI fanblog, but I’ll do my best and pray others choose the same.

    I understand people who want to raze everything he’s ever touched, to delete all their fan works and eviscerate their love for anything involving him. I really, really do. I feel nauseous every time I try to write. But I’m trying to not throw the baby out with the bathwater, because I’ve found a lot of good here and I refuse to abandon it. My enjoyment of the story and community Wilbur helped inspire does not condone the bad he’s done, nor do I support him financially or emotionally. It’s a really difficult line to walk, but this is where my morals fall at least. I want to reclaim the joy I used to have.

    I hope Shubble is able to recover and heal from the harm done to her. She’s a wonderful person and is lucky to have friends and a community that have supported her in this time. I’m glad that the fandom has (mostly) collectively disavowed her abuser instead of exploding into controversy and a ‘he said-she said’ toxic mess a la Dream style, even if it hurts knowing much of the community we’ve built has been destroyed. Lastly, I pray Wilbur will become a better person. I would like to believe anyone has the capacity for redemption, but that is a decision entirely within his hands alone at this point. As for me, I will simply do what I think reduces harm and uplifts joy.  I may be wrong, but I will continue to do my best.   

Again, if anyone has any respectful and reasonable questions/comments, the ask box is always open.

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

[theophagie-remade]

Extremely cringy that Symptoms get worse when they go ignored

[lightwing-s]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐯 ; 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞

pairing: jason todd x fem! reader

summary: when everything seems go, at least start, to go right, you're getting to actually enjoy the thoughts of your pregnancy, things take a turn. no, not a turn, a fucking spin, a descent in a downward spiral. basicallly, you're fucked.

word count: 10,3k (yes, i'm actually very surprised i managed this) warnings: pregnancy, medical talks, bad parenting and terrible fathers.

a/n: it took me too long to finish, i know. but i did enjoy my time in carnaval before almost dying from a flu. the chapter is long and is very important to the future of the story, so please, don't be mad at me for it. take breaks, eat while your reading, idk, do your thing. ily and i missed you ♡♡♡

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡

links: previous ; next ; series masterlist ; general masterlist

You thought that telling Jason about your pregnancy would be the trigger that would set your life into a downward spiral. That everything would be different once it was done with. You would be different, he would be different, and the world would be different too. However, the days that followed could not have been any more normal.

Although your mind was still clouded with anxious pregnancy thoughts, your days went on as usual. You woke up early, exercised and went to work, just to come back home hours later to do whatever it was you got on your mind that night before going straight to bed. The only indications of your condition were the looming thoughts and the excessive tiredness you carried everywhere with you.

It was like the world around you didn’t get the memo your whole life was about to be totally different just a few months from now..

And the world didn’t have to. It didn’t care that Yn Sn was pregnant. It would continue spinning around, circling the sun, like it always did. Day by day, minute by minute, like nothing had changed. And in the great scheme of things, nothing had. You did. You were the one who had changed. You were different, or at least you would become. Good or bad, nothing was gonna be like before. You would keep changing as the world would always be the same.

In the great scheme of things, the world didn’t revolve around you. Your life wasn’t a linear movie plot, troubleless and predictable. It was proving to you right then and there that it wouldn’t hold your hand and give you a rulebook on how to proceed with every little thing. You were on your own to figure out this journey. It was now about you. And him.

At first, you only noticed the small differences. You were tired, more than usual. It seemed like every move you used to make swiftly was now heavy and took you double the effort to complete. Two days after your talk, Jason went back to the clinic to pick up the full test results, and had it delivered to you at your door. You didn’t invite him to stay, nor did he ask you to enter, and you opened the envelope to find out you were about five to six weeks pregnant by yourself. It meant the baby was now growing faster and faster, and providing all that extra energy was what had been draining you off yours.

Your trips to the toilet became more frequent, even if your water intake had remained the same. That had raised one or two eyebrows at work, but considering the amount of things you were all working on, no one had given those bathroom runs their full attention. However, your new breast size didn’t go as unnoticed. In fact, it became a big topic of discussion between your coworkers, where each person tried to bet which surgeon had given you a cup size that was almost double of what yours originally was.

Then, there was also him. Every single day since you’d broken the news, Jason woke you up with a good morning text. He’d ask if you had slept well, if you were alright, and if you had gotten sick at any point the day before or if you craved or wanted anything. He knew it was about time you got morning sickness and cravings, and he wanted to do what was best to keep you and his baby in perfect condition.

He seemed to care about this baby a lot, even this soon. Not even the most positive scenario you could’ve come up with had you imagining he’d be this sweet, this nice. Actually caring and attentive. Yet, here you were, and he made sure to always tend to your needs whenever he was needed. But he wasn’t needed that often. Except for the good morning texts and your subsequent daily health report, you two didn’t talk much.

Nessie, your best friend, was also really into the idea of this baby. Daily, she’d flood your messages with baby videos and pics, pregnancy tips and motherhood articles. She might as well be the mother of this child, because she was certainly more excited than its real one. She had even told her own mother about it, letting her know she was going to be an “auntie” and how she should bring gifts the next time she comes over to visit.

You haven’t even considered telling your parents about it yet, brushing the thoughts away every time they’d come up in your mind. In fact, most thoughts about your pregnancy were brushed aside, as you were still not ready to fully accept this new reality of yours. 

Thus, a couple of weeks went by since you’d last seen Jason. As normal as they’ve ever been. Then, it was a Thursday night. One where you found yourself spread on your sofa, craving sweets and a large pizza, with your best friend sat on your living room floor, rambling excitedly about something you weren’t paying much attention to.

“... and, even though everyone knows he has a fucking girlfriend, he was at the party with not only one, but two other girls. He’s such an asshole!” Nessie spoke about whatever season of a TV show she was rewatching. But your mind couldn’t have been any further.

You stared at your phone screen, reading and rereading, again and again, the last messages in your chat with Jason. He had just asked about your day, if you felt sick or anything, and instead of giving him your usual and very formal reply, you went on and on about your sudden desire for dessert pizza. You didn’t know what had gotten into you, but your fingers were faster than your conscience and without a proper thought, the message was sent.

. 8:24 PM

hey, how are you feeling?

. in desperate need of a good chocolate pizza . id kill for it . not really kill for it . yk...

🤣

You hoped you could be faster and delete it before he got a hold of his phone again, but the laughing emoji told you you were too late for that. Now, you laid there, overthinking your text when there was nothing you could do about it. Much like your pregnancy. Dumbass.

“Yn, are you even listening?” your friend called.

“Y-yeah. It was a really bad season, that one.” Without even moving to look in her direction, you gave her a half assed reply. 

“Yn… What are you talking about?” she asked you, confused.

“Aren’t we talking about the Bachelor?” you tried to confirm, now moving on your side to see her eye to eye. However, her incredulous face told you you’d completely missed the topic. Offering her an apologetic smile, she rolled her eyes at you and threw you a pillow.

“No! I was talking about Dick Grayson?” She raised an eyebrow and you looked at her with your brows furrowed. “Gotham’s resident playboy? The one that was seeing like three different girls at the same time? Gosh you were such a killjoy, all I wanted to do was gossip. It doesn’t hurt anybody and it’s fun.”

You let out a laugh at your friend’s dramatics, telling her to keep going with her story, promising to actually pay attention to it this time.

“Okay, he was seeing this girl officially. I think her name is Barbara. Red head, tall, pretty as fuck. Okay. However, he was supposedly with not only one, but two side pieces. Like, for real, such a fuck boy.”

“Ew,” you engaged. “Not even a fuck boy, an asshole. What does his girlfriend think about this?”

“I don’t know.” She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t even think she knows about all of this, if I’m being honest. And if she knows s….” Ding dong. Your friend’s story was cut short by the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your living room. “Are you expecting somebody?” she asked. You shook your head.

Sitting up, you waited for the doorbell to ring one more time, just to be sure there was really someone at your door. You looked between it and your friend, suddenly worried about who the hell would be bothering you at this hour of the night. Standing up, you walked straight to the door with care. Silent steps taking you to the peeping hole.

Looking through it, a tall, sasquatch like frame you’d grown to recognize rather easily, stood on the other side. In his hands, you caught a glimpse of a few plastic bags, his helmet, and a cardboard box.

“H-hey,” you greeted him awkwardly when you opened the door, a bit surprised to see him there.

“Hi. Heard you wanted some pizza.” He winked, lifting up what you now could identify as two cardboard boxes exhaling the greasy smell of your desired meal.

“You didn’t have to,” you said, sliding a hand through your hair. It was just a silly text, you thought, but perhaps it wasn’t for him.

Shrugging, he dismissed your words. “I was craving some junk food too, anyway. And I hadn’t seen you in a while so…”

You bought me pizza? And brought it to my door?

“Oh my god, where are my manners? Please, come in. We’re in the living room,” you told him, freeing your spot to allow him to enter your apartment for the first time

“We?” he asked, and you didn’t have to turn around to know he was lifting a brow at you.

“Me and my friend, Nessie,” you said, showing him to the other girl sitting on the floor by the center table. By now, she had a clearly amused smile on her face, and her eyes sparkled with an excitement that had annoyed you for some reason. “Jason, this is Nessie. Nessie, this is Jason,” you introduced them.

Jason extended his larger hand for her to shake, and she did it way too excitedly. “Oh my, I’m finally meeting your baby daddy,” she sang. You kicked her right at the ribs.

“Nice to meet you too,” Jason said through a breathy laugh. “Although I have to say I’m still not used to being called baby daddy. I mean, you’re just the second person to tell me that, but it’s still weird.”

“Tell me about it,” you wondered out loud, but soon your mind clicked to the fact someone else had called him that when, as far as you knew, only he, you and Nessie knew about your pregnancy.

“So… What did you bring us?” Nessie immediately asked, like the hungry dog she had been all night, scanning through the bags and the pizza boxes he had placed on the center table and pulling you away from your own head..

“Oh, I got you your dessert pizza, like you asked. And I also got a pepperoni one, but I wasn’t sure if you would like it,” he explained, messing up his hair.

“I didn’t ask for it,” you blankly stated.. It wasn’t a lie. You didn’t actually ask for it, you just hinted you were highly interested in one. But having him show up with the object of your cravings at your door not even an hour later had you feeling a bit uneasy, uncomfortable with the fact you kind of made him do it. He stared at you wide eyed, blinking repeatedly, unsure how to proceed.

“Y-yeah. But, I-I just thought I would do you this favor. A-and it had been a while since we talked and…”

“And we are very thankful for it!” your friend cut him off, gladly pushing the awkwardness away. “We were starving cuz this one right here only had salad in her fridge.”

“I’m sorry if I haven’t had the energy to go grocery shopping.” You stuck your tongue out.

“I wouldn’t mind doing it for you, if you want it,” Jason offered, sitting down on the floor beside Nessie.

“I’ll get it done,” you said, following  his move. “Eventually.”

Silently, you each decided to focus on all the food ahead of you. You couldn’t lie, you weren’t sort of enjoying all of this. Not only had he brought you pizza, and the dessert pizza you’d been craving, but he had brought you mini burgers from a place downtown you loved and even a slice of cheesecake.

“Have you checked any of the providers I sent you?” Jason asked, breaking the comfortable silence you had just settled in.

For the last few days, he had sent you tons of options for prenatal providers and doctors, something you knew you should’ve been more attentive to, but that you were avoiding like everything else regarding this pregnancy. You knew that, by this point, you should’ve already scheduled an appointment with a doctor, chosen a provider, and started looking into birthing options and other pregnancy needs. But you just couldn’t get your head into it.

Jason knew you were still not sure about this. The mention of the pregnancy or the baby clearly makes you anxious and uncomfortable. He wanted to take things slow, at your pace, but there were things you couldn’t really postpone, and prenatal checkups were one of them. So, he kept sending you options, just to see if you’d ever reply to any of them, but they always went unanswered. It wasn’t his intention to come to your house to talk about it, in specific, but he had to bring it up at some point.

When he arrived home from your apartment the other night, he immediately called his brother. Dick would know what to do, right? He’s the one with plenty of female experience. Still, he never made the silly mistake of getting one of them pregnant.

“That’s rough, buddy,” was all that he managed to say through the phone. Very helpful indeed. However, he did leave you with one single useful piece of advice: you should find a doctor.

Thus, he proceeded with his research. It felt like he had seen three thousand different doctor’s names, and a plenty of options of healthcare providers. Neither one of them sounded cheap, but it was a necessary expense if he wanted to make sure everything was going to be alright.

And you knew that too. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t checked any of the options. It was just so overwhelming. Every link for a website he had sent was filled with words and expressions you’d never even heard of, leaving you more confused about pregnancies than you’d been before. It was honestly so stressful that you had started to purposefully ignore it.

“I haven’t had the time,” you finally replied, picking out the pepperoni slices off your pizza, pilling them up on the side to eat them all at once. You heard him sighing deeply, and you could feel the annoyance by the way his shoulders trembled. You knew his patience had a limit, and he’d been so sweet and kind to you thus far that simply checking out the options was the least you could’ve done, and yet you didn’t even manage to do that. “It’s… a lot.”

Looking over at him, you observed him with his eyes glued to his pizza slice. You wanted to read his mind, to know what was going through his head at this moment. Was he mad at you? At your seemingly incompetence to do one simple thing? Gosh. You felt the anxious rumbling at your stomach, the same one from weeks ago, and you wanted to curl down and cry.

Why were you like this? What has gotten into you?

“I have an aunt who is an ob/gyn,” Nessie meddled in. “She’s pretty busy these days, but I could try and ask her to see you. If you want.”

Expectantly, Jason watched as you took your time to think. It was a good option, really. If she was busy, it could only mean she was a good doctor, right? And she was in Nessie's family.

“Yeah,” you agreed. A sigh of relief coming from the boy beside you. “I think it would be fine.”

“Great,” she celebrated. Standing up, she grabbed the empty cardboard box and walked to the kitchen. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

Left alone with Jason for the first time tonight, you returned your attention to your half eaten pizza slice, desperate to focus on anything other than him, but turns out your brain had other plans. It constantly thought of him. He was right beside you, and that’s okay, but you could be occupying your mind with something else.

He too played around with his food, with his hands holding on to an energy drink he’d popped out of one of his bags. You caught a glimpse of the slight movement he did when he tried to offer you some of that same beverage, but he quickly realized perhaps it wasn’t good for the baby.

His veiny forearms were just inches from yours, making the hairs on your body rise up from this almost contact. It was like your body knew he was right there and tried to reach with anything it could get closer to him. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss his touch. Not in a sexual way, like you’d been, shamefully, at the studio the other day. You missed his bear-like embrace that swept all worry away, that comforted you and helped you relax among so much stress and anxiety.

“I can pick you up. Take you to the doctor by car,” he offered, but something inside you told you he would accept your refusal as a possible response.

“Thank you, I’d love it,” you thanked, searching for his icy blue orbs. You could feel his fingers against yours, rubbing against your skin and sending a shiver up your spine. “And Jason, I’m sorry for what I said earlier, about the pizza thing. I’m just not used to all of this yet.”

“It’s fine, Yn,” he said, finding your eyes with a beaming smile next to his. “We’ll figure things out, eventually.”

Turns out Nessie’s aunt really was busy. Not just busy, but booked and “famous”. If you were to go by the sheer prices attached to her services, she was the Steve Jobs of obstetricians/gynecologists. It got you worried at first, because you weren’t sure your insurance would cover such costs, but Jason told you to not think about it, She managed to fit you, god knows how, in an appointment another two weeks later. But you couldn’t complain, because if you weren't “family”, you’d get to your first appointment with a baby already in your arms.

Every book you’d read, many of them being Jason’s recommendations, told you your first appointment should be scheduled between eight to twelve weeks, and as far as you could tell, you would be just around at your appointment. 

The two weeks went by swiftly, and soon, it was the day of your first prenatal check up. 

You were at work all day, as usual. Your morning had been chaotic, with the beginning stages of preparations for the upcoming spring issue keeping everyone on the edge. However, thankfully, the afternoon treated you all more kindly. Although your feet still ached from all the running around you’d already done, you still roamed around collecting papers, portfolios and coffee cups for your boss.

Pushing the massive glass door open with your shoulder, you entered Sandra’s office with her sample book in hand. The clock approached your leaving time, today a few hours earlier than normal due to “medical” reasons. Not a full lie, but a lie nonetheless. Those kept on repeating, and for the looks of it, they wouldn’t stop any time soon.

You just weren’t ready to tell anyone else yet. Perhaps it wasn’t the right moment, as it was still too early. Perhaps it was you not wanting to accept reality. The more people knew about it, the more real it would become. And you knew very well it wasn’t something you were ready to face, even though at this point you had no escape route left.

“Ym, before you leave, just let Ibra know we’ll be dropping by tomorrow to decide on the new photoshoot details,” your boss requested, not lifting her eyes off the papers on her desk.

“I already called him earlier, he sent you the models for you to check beforehand,” you informed, placing the large portfolio before her table. After rambling out your words, an involuntary sigh came out of you, a sign of your body’s exhaustion after a long day. “We’ll also get the Gucci sets by tomorrow, like expected.”

“Good,” was all you heard in response, and knowing her well, you took it as a sign to leave her to her work. Turning on your heel, you walked back to the door before her voice stopped you right at your tracks. “Yn, are you alright?”

Surprised by her question, one you’d never heard come from her directed at you, your head snapped back towards her direction. “I-I’m fine. It’s just been a long day,” you explained.

“Hmm,” she hummed, removing her designer glasses from her perfectly sculpted nose. “Have you been drinking a lot of water?”

“Yes?” you sort of asked, growing confused.

“Good, it’s important to keep hydrated during your pregnancy.”

You swallowed dry. Your eyes popped from its sockets, and you swore your breathing had stopped. “Sandra, you must be mistaken.”

“Am I?” she simply asked, raising an eyebrow before returning her gaze to her notes. Opening your mouth, you tried to answer something, anything, but no proper sentence seemed to be formed in reply, as your brain was caught completely off guard by her knowledge of your secret. “I don’t know how long you planned on hiding it, nor why, but you were silly to think I wouldn’t notice. You seem to take longer to finish a simple task, you avoided salmon at lunch and said it had a smell, and your size has increased. You forgot I have a 14-month-old at home and a five year old daughter, I know the signs when I see it. Congratulations, from what I know of you, you’re gonna be a great mother. Just make sure to find your substitute at least a month before your due date so they have the time to properly learn the job till you’re gone.”

Staring at your reflection on the glass walls your eyes stop at your stomach. Are you already showing enough? Is she the only person to notice? Of course you didn’t pick the best outfit to hide it today. Your clothes barely fit you anymore, so you had to rely on your dresses, the small collection you owned, to be able to build an outfit. And certainly, the ribbed fabric of the one you wore today didn’t hide any of your curves, no matter how tiny they were.

You stood there, still, unmoving, flabbergasted. If Sandra was capable of so easily finding out your secret, it would be in no time till others could do the same. It was a secret with days counted anyways, you wouldn’t be able to hide it forever even if you wanted to.

“That’s all,” you heard her say, breaking you from your sudden malfunction and getting back to operating mode. You fled her room faster than you ever remember doing, and sank on your chair with the weight of the world weighing you down. Your hands shook, sweating cold, and your heart beat a bit faster. With deep breaths, you tried to keep yourself under control.

“Yn,” you heard someone call, making you jump slightly on your seat. Looking up at the source of the voice, you found the raven haired boy now known as your baby daddy. In your office, right in front of you.

“Jason, what are you doing here?” you scream-whispered from behind your desk. He looked at you confused, as if you’d forgotten your plans for today.

“They let me in when I told them I was here to pick you up,” he explained. “The appointment, remember?”

Standing up hurriedly, you shoved your phone, your planner and the rest of your stuff in the designer bag you’d gotten off the samples given to the magazine. Fleeing your desk, you looked around to see if any of the other secretaries were anywhere close, grabbed Jason’s hand and pulled him with you out of your workplace. “You were supposed to call me when you arrived,” you scolded, pushing open the door.

“Sorry, you just weren’t picking up your phone,” he stated. Of course I wasn't, I was working. 

Dragging him to the elevator, you successfully managed to push him inside before you entered and watched the door slowly sliding closed without having stumbled  into any of your coworkers. Sighing in relief, you allowed your head to rest on the metallic wall. A small win for today. You were taking any victories at this point.

“Who are we running from?” You felt Jason’s breath on your ear, making you jump again. His soft giggle let you know that he found that entertaining. Let’s hope he’d enjoy your elbow to his ribs. “Ouch, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not running from anyone,” you said, crossing your arms on your chest. “I just don’t want to start any gossip in the office. These ladies do like to talk about other people’s lives.”

“Weren’t you and Nessie doing just that the other night?” he teased.

“That’s different.”

“How?” he gave you a sly smirk.

“It was not about my life,” you argued, offering him a smirk in return.

Jason shook his head, leaning on the wall right beside you, close enough that your shoulders touched. But different to the first time you felt him this close, you were not nervous or about to cut his head off. You were actually enjoying his presence. What an era to be alive.

“You look beautiful today,” he complimented you out of nowhere, bumping your shoulder with his playfully.

“You don’t look half as bad,” you replied, and watched both your smiles on the crooked reflection of the elevator door.

It wasn’t long till you arrived at the clinic, but it was enough time for you to fall asleep. Shortly after entering the car, when he was already cutting through other vehicles to avoid the traffic, Jason noticed your head hanging to the side, and even if he tried to fix it back in place, it would instantly fall once again.

He remembered how exhausting your job looked that couple of hours he witnessed by himself, and now must not have been different. Especially considering your pregnancy and the tiredness he’d had been reading about. So he let you nap quietly on your seat, making sure to watch out for your neck as much as he could while handling the road.

You were still groggy when you stepped into the white halls, needing guidance to find your way around. With his hand on your lower back, he took you to the reception, where a bored looking receptionist typed something away for what seemed like an eternity.

“Hi,” you greeted sweetly, a tone he wasn’t much used to hearing from you. “I have an appointment with Doctor Mikaelson.”

“What is your name?” asked the receptionist with an annoying nasal voice that made Jason want to punch her for no other reason than it was just annoying.

“Yn Sn. It’s spelled…” you continued, giving out every bit of information the woman needed. And it was a lot. As your first visit, there was a lot to be filled, and he stood to the side, watching as you answered all of her questions with a patience he hadn’t seen in many people.

There was something in the way you talked to the receptionist, with such poise and connectedness, that had Jason hooked. Leaning his elbow on the tall desk, and resting his cheek in his palm, he watched on as you continued to reply to each and every single question. The strong lighting did not ruin your look in the slightest, and in fact, Jason thought it somehow made you look prettier, something he believed no one else could manage.

The faint winds from the air conditioning blew on your hair, giving you your own magazine photoshoot ambiance. You did not stutter, nor did you take long to answer, all the words flowing from your lips even though he paid no mind to any of them. It wasn’t like the angry girl he used to meet at the gym, nor the one that showed up upset at his doorstep, or even the quiet one you would become around him recently. And he liked to think this was the real one, or at least a better glimpse at it than you’d ever let him see.

“Jason?” he heard you calling, and it was his turn to jump from his place. Giving you an awkward ‘yeah’, he let you repeat whatever it was you had said. “She said I’ll need to take some tests. Would you keep my bag, please?”

“Sure,” he said, fixing his posture and grabbing the rather heavy bag off your hands. “I’ll be sitting right here when you come back.

You nodded, offering him an actual smile, before walking off beside a nurse. He found a seat not too far from where you two were just standing, and watched as you moved away, swaying your hips side to side. Taking his eyes off your ass, he tried to focus on something else, catching a glimpse of the tiny pump on your belly. It wasn’t too noticeable yet, and might as well be some bloating from a heavy meal, but he’d wanted to think it was his baby right there, showing it’s first signs of life just under your care.

He’d been getting excited. Too excited, perhaps, for a baby that wasn’t even planned. But he couldn’t help it. When the initial fear was gone, all he could think about was the baby. His baby. He was going to have a baby. 

All his life, he thought that if there was someone in his family that would have a baby by accident, besides his dad, it was his older brother. Dick was a dick, thought with his dick, and had given it to half the female population of Gotham. When he told him about it, he could not stop laughing, and Jason did think of punching him in the face. Repeatedly. But it was him that made the fear go away at first. Not by taking him out for a drink, which he still did, but by making him see the good in it.

“It’s a baby!”, he said. “You love babies, and you always wanted one.”

It was a baby, it was sort of your dream, and it was with the girl he had a crush on. It could be worse. Sure, there are a lot of changes of plans that he’d have to take from now on, but the good sides were much greater.

His father wasn’t very happy when he told him, though. But Dick, again, came to the rescue. “Jason is smart. He’s always been the level headed one… when he wants it. He’ll figure things out.” And soon, old man Wayne was on board with the new baby. So on board that he had already planned on rebuilding his suite at Gotham Memorial, just for your delivery. Jason had to tell him to calm down a little, you didn’t even know his dad was a millionaire yet.

You took quite long to return. Sitting back down besides him a good forty minutes later, pulling the sleeves of your dress over your hands to protect them from the cold. He handed you your bag back, and you two sat in silence for almost half an hour till the nurse called your name again. This time, with a “the doctor is waiting” along.

“Nervous?” Jason asked, as you two walked side by side to the doctor’s room.

“I was worse,” you replied, giving him a smile he returned gladly. “It won’t get that bad again. I think.”

Different from the waiting room, the doctor’s office was cream colored and the yellow lights much more comfortable. There were books decorating almost every surface, with toys and teddy bears everywhere too. It gave out a sense of comfort you so desperately wanted to find in your pregnancy. Given how everything, all your feelings, had been thus far, it was great that something could actually give you comfort.

“You must be Vanessa’s friend, right?” Doctor Mikaelson said, extending her hand for you to shake. You only nodded, still not used to going on doctors appointments on your own. What were you even going to say?. “And is this your boyfriend?” she asked, and your eyes immediately popped off their sockets.

“No,” you quickly replied. “He’s not… my boyfriend.”

Thankfully, she did not ask for any further explanation. “You can call me Rebecca from now on. Today we’re going to talk a lot, there’s a lot I want to learn about you, so it’s going to be a long appointment. It’s your first visit, am I right?” she questioned, and you just nodded your answer. “Any medical history I should know about? From you and other family members.”

Pulling her chair closer to the expensive looking computer, she prepared to type in the answers to her inquisitions. “No, no. I’m clean. Healthy. No medical history I can remember in my family either. I mean, my dad does have high blood pressure, but that’s it,” you explained, and looking at the moose sat beside you, you expected his answer. “Jason?”

“Erm…” he struggled. “I’m adopted.”

Surprised, your head angled to the side while your eyes were now glued to him, anticipating the rest of his story.

“Do you know anything about your biological parents?” the doctor asked, but he shook his head, ending the subject you so wanted to hear more about.

The appointment went on like this for a while. Questions were made, by both sides, answers were given. Some more explaining on Rebecca’s behalf, and soon the minutes went by swiftly, without you even noticing. It was now time for the ultrasound, as she explained, and while fishing for the items she’d need to perform the exam, you were left by yourselves for a short while.

Standing up, you awkwardly play with your feet as you wait for the doctor’s return. So far, your head was banging with so much information it had received in not much time, and the exhaustion from the full day was starting to catch up to you. Your mind was getting dizzy, and you mentally begged for it to be over soon and for you to be ready to go to bed. But the next step of your visit, and you couldn’t deny it, had you rather excited.

You found your reflection on a tiny mirror. You looked tired, but you looked pretty for such exhaustion. The extra effort put this morning on your look certainly had an effect, hiding, even if a little, your fatigue. As it had been happening for the past few weeks, your eyes soon spotted your belly, and now the tiny roundness it was making.

Your hands hesitated a couple of times. It was as if doing it would burn them, like it was wrong. But they reached it, touched the skin over the warm fabric. Touched you bump. Your still hidden baby. It didn’t look frightening then. Your hands didn’t burn. You just felt the protuberance in your body, the perfect little curve it made, and thought about, how the hell, it was supposed to keep a baby. It looked small and cute now. Tiny in comparison to the size it would get. Much like some of the women you saw in the waiting room, blowing up at any moment. Bellies round and exuberant.

But yours paled in comparison. At least for now. Your baby wasn’t ready to be announced to the world yet, and you preferred it like this. Kept just for the two of you for now. Your sweet little secret. Your sweet little love.

Jason thought you were stunning. He’d been staring at you, feeling your skin, from the side, and each reaction you got of it amazed him. It was a simple act, a touch you certainly repeat, over and over, until the day your baby finally arrived. But he saw beauty in it, nonetheless. He watched your hesitance vanishing, and your comfort was slowly visible. He too wanted to feel it, touch it, but everything in its given time.

“Will you lay down please.” The doctor returned, and as you pulled your dress to free your stomach, she offered you a blanket to cover yourself with. 

Soon, just your tiny bump was out, the lights were off, and Jason stood by your head. Both anxious to hear the sound many boasted about.

“It’s kinda hard to find it,” the doctor said. “It’s still really small.”

Jason’s grip on your shoulder grew tighter as the time passed. He caressed the skin over the material of your dress to compensate for the pressure after whispering an apology to your ear. You didn’t blame him, you too were anxious for it.

“Ha-“ the doctor sang. “Here it is. Look, this tiny thing. This is your baby.”

You didn’t see anything. Just a dot. A tiny little stain on the screen where she pointed at. Yet, it nearly made you cry. There it was. Your baby. In its full tinyness. In its full “hey mommy, you don’t notice but I’m here” energy. You heard sniffing by your ear, and your head snapped to Jason quickly. 

What, he mouthed, and you had to hold in your smile. What a crybaby. Cute, noted.

“And here,” she continued, messing with her station, adjusting levels and pressing buttons. “... is its heartbeat.”

The loud beating echoed through the room. Tudum. Tudum. Till your own had gotten faster. It was on for long, being turned off soon after four beats, but it would stick to you for the rest of the day. The little sounds your baby made. The single sign of its existence within you, sounding like music to your ears. Addictive, delicious to hear. Still in your head as you walked back to your apartment with Jason by your side.

You’d walked up there in silence. Comfortable silence. The long waiting hours and the extensive appointment getting the best of both of your energy levels.

“9 weeks,” he suddenly said. “You’re 9 weeks pregnant.” Joining your eyebrows, you looked at him. “That means we fucked a whole night and went by baby free, but one quickie in a random room had us doomed. The seed is strong- Ouch!”

With a single swing of your bag, you aimed for Jason’s head and hit your target precisely. He tried to dodge another move, but was hit by another swing before getting a hold of your weapon. Your laughter echoed through the small area, loud enough you were sure your downstairs neighbor could hear.

“Shut up,” you shoved him with your shoulder. “Is all of this a joke to you?”

“No, but that was funny,” his laughter joined yours.

Your hands struggled to enter the key on its lock, but soon your door was hanging open.

“Do you want to come in? Eat something?” you offered, still a bit skeptical of his prolonged company. He looked dead in your eye, a while that made you slightly uncomfortable. His icy blue stare makes your body shiver. Replying with a toothless smile, he shook his head.

“I better head home.”

“Are you sure?” you insisted. You didn’t know why, but you kind of wanted his company tonight.

“Yeah. I’m sure you’re exhausted. And I want my bed too, so I better head home before it’s too late for me to drive. You don’t want your baby losing its father this soon, do you?” he joked.

“It would be a tragedy,” you joined in on the fun.

Walking slowly to you, he held your cheek to place a chaste kiss to your forehead. Offering another thin-lipped smile, he turned his back to you and headed for the elevator. “Bye.” He waved.

“Bye, Jay.” You returned the gesture. The sudden use of a nickname made his smile larger.

“Ynie.” He gave you a wink, before disappearing behind the metal doors.

“So… How was the appointment this week?” Nessie questioned, eyes scanning the cool toned garments hanging on tons and tons of clothing racks. It was now Saturday, and you two had gone out shopping, something you hadn’t managed to put your head on for months, but that now managed to free it from any thoughts of your current state. Well, until now.

“It went fine,” you simply stated, avoiding commenting any further.

“You don’t sound too excited.” She raised a brow at you. 

Averting your gaze, you stopped to look through a rack full of coffee tone wool cardigans. The colorful sets of summer were now long gone, giving place to the browns, grays and blacks of the fall/winter seasons. Thin fabrics like silks and linen being traded for thicker, more weather-appropriate substitutes.

Sighing, you allowed your friend’s words to linger in the air for as long as you could. You didn’t want to reply. There was nothing to reply. She knew pretty well your stance. “What’s there to be excited about?” you asked in return, and she gave you an upset look. “I’m having a baby with a guy I hooked up once. Sorry for not jumping around at the news.”

It was her turn to sigh, as you continued to roam around the store looking for anything cute for you to wear, since your clothes were now too small for your still not too visible but obviously growing bump. It was a struggle finding an outfit to go out today, having to make the most out of your summer dresses  in the increasingly chilly days of September.

“I thought you were starting to like the idea,” she commented. Crossing her arms over the rack you were looking through and resting her chin on top of her hands, she forced you to stop avoiding her gaze.

“I was,” you started. “And then I wasn’t. I don’t know. It’s like every hour I have a different opinion on it. But it’s never too happy, or excited about it. And most often than not I regret ever laying eyes on Jason in the first place. I really don’t know what to think,” you swallowed a lump that started to form on your throat, and waited for the burning in your eyes to cease before continuing. “I’m scared, and anxious, and it seems like at every second something could happen to cause a turmoil again and I don’t think I can take another punch to the guts from the universe.”

You took a deep breath. You weren’t going to cry at the mall today. There were no pregnancy hormones, no random mood swings, that would ever allow you to do that in public. Then, the sudden touch of Nessie’s hand on your shoulder helped your breathing ease down.

“Nothing will happen. Don’t overthink it,” she cooed, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “And you’re having a baby! That’s all you need to be excited about. I know they are little energy suckers, crying loudly monsters, but they’re also so cute and adorable. Like, so cute and adorable you could take a bite out of them. And their giggles, and babbles. C’mon, I remember hearing you talk about your nephew, and how much you loved and missed him. You’re now going to have your own.”

Like a true best friend, Nessie’s words did manage to put a smile on your face. And she was right. You had focused so much on the down sides that you’d completely brushed off all the good ones and how much they could outweigh the others. The mention of your nephew and his baby sister reminded you of how much you’d loved them and how much it hurt to say goodbye to them every time you went back to college.

And you wanted kids. A family. It just happened to be an unfortunate timing.

“C’mon, let’s go.” Before you had the chance to ask where, she was dragging you out of the current store you were at and into another. 

The racks of taller, bigger clothes were soon exchanged by tons of baby clothes, shelves of toys and items now in your line of view. The smell of the store was also more pleasing, exhaling the scent of lavender through it’s entire length. Pulling out a tiny baby onesie from a table right at the front of the store, Nessie nearly shoved it in your face before continuing her rant. 

“Look at how cute this is. Can’t you imagine your baby in it? It’s so small and scary to think it can fit a human,” she joked, earning your giggle. It really was cute, and the picture of your baby in it made your tummy flutter. “And look at this one!” she nearly screamed, showing you a cute flowery knitted sweater. “I’m pretty sure my mom could make you tons of this. No shade to this store,” she lowered her tone as if anyone would hear. “But it’d be a lot cheaper, and prettier. Did I tell you before she knits?”

One by one, Nessie continued to show you random clothes and toys she kept seeing around and that got her excited. A music toy had you two concentrated on for an embarrassing two minutes before you realized your ages were not appropriate to the toy’s recommendation. You two laughed aloud at the images you both pictured of you and your baby, your future with each and every one of these items in it. Suddenly, the idea didn’t sound bad at all in your mind, and you actually found yourself getting excited about it for the first time. 

At some point, even a worker had come to your side and started handing you things your baby would certainly need once it was here, and your brain got clouded with all the new information she had offered you in such a short amount of time. You were going out of the store with empty hands, but a long list of items you had to start sorting out.

A few minutes later and you were on your way out. That was when it caught your eyes. The fluffiest and cutest baby romper. It was golden brown and had bear ears and even a little fluffy tail, just like the ones you’d seen all over your socials from even before this state was an idea of your future.

Heading in its direction slowly, you took it from the rack, feeling the soft fabric in your hands. Your mind instantly being filled with images of your baby wearing it, not any unknown baby. Yours. Maybe by the age it was big enough to be strolling around in it, its cute little steps as you followed it around. Or still tiny so you would have to carry it around like a real teddy bear.

You felt your eyes watering. Your baby in it. Your baby strolling around. The cutest little legs and hands. Yours. Turning around to face your friend, you suddenly found yourself determined. “I’m taking this.”

It wasn’t only the romper you took. You left the store with bags almost full to the brim. In them, you had a cute  pumpkin onesie, already in the mood for halloween, plushies and a few toys that had you and your friend entertained, tiny baby gloves and socks, beanies and packages of diapers Nessie had insisted it was never too early to start stocking up on. 

“Babies go through those like crazy,” she told you, and then you had a bag full of them in your hands heading back to your apartment. May your credit card deal with the cost of all this later.

It felt good. It sort of felt… right. If you were really going to keep this baby, you’d have to get stuff at some point too. Correct? You weren’t softening to the idea, you were just being precautious.

But Nessie was right. Babies were adorable and you missed the ones in your life. Your nephew, and his little sister you mostly watched grow up through phone screens and instagram posts, were far away from you, living their lives despite your absence. You worked your whole life to get away from your parents power umbrella, and not only you’d not dare to return, but coming back with a baby was perhaps the worst thing you could do.

All the stress and work you’d gone through to get to Gotham couldn’t just be thrown out your window. Not for you, not for your sister. Although it hurt them to see you leave, they were always in full support of your choice. Your manumission.

A family. You told Jason you’d never had one. It wasn’t true. Although to your parents you were mere tokens of their “perfect” job as “parents”, as society people, they were never family. Your sisters were. And even though it was in an odd way, you loved and cared for each other dearly throughout your entire life.

It pained you to see each one of them leave your household, one after the other, for completely different reasons. Until you were all alone. And then you had no family. No one to rely on. No one to care for you in your parents' perpetual absence. Until you managed to leave yourself, even if it took you a lot of compromise and convincing.

Arriving on your floor with your bags in hand, faces stamped with laughter and aching feet, you stopped in your tracks as one single detail was capable of ceasing your happiness.

In front of you stood your door, spread open. The lights inside were on, and the well known sound of a female voice, humming along to a muted tune and moving things around. There were only two people that had your apartment keys, and they never meant anything good when they were around.

Brushing the anxious thoughts aside for a couple of hours had worked for nothing, because the worst of your nightmares had just become a reality.

“Take the bags with you,” you turned to your friend, shoving the bags in your hands onto her chest. “Please.”

“Yn, are you alright?” Nessie asked. Worry eating her up from just one look at your frightened expression.

No, I’m not fucking fine, you wanted to answer, but the words didn’t come out of your mouth. Instead, all you did was lose your breathing pace, getting hectic by the second, and your mind went numb.

“Yn, dear. Is that you?” you heard the ladylike voice of your mother calling from inside. Her steps soon too reached your ear, and her shadow approached the door behind you.

“Please, Nessie,” you begged. “Can you take this to your apartment? I’ll pick it up once they’re gone. They can’t see it, they can’t know I’m preg…”

“Oh. Were you two out shopping?” your mother asked excitedly. In good motherly fashion, or at least that was what she always did, she hurried her way to your side, grabbing the bags and eyeing up their content. Her hawk-like eyes scanned through each item carefully. There was no privacy at the Sn’s household, it wasn’t about to change now.

“Nessie’s cousin is pregnant,” You shoved the bags into your friend’s hands, away from your mother’s prying ones. “We were getting her things, you know, for her baby shower. We might’ve gotten too excited though, wasn’t it Nessie? We got too many things, but they were all so cute we couldn’t just not get them!”

You offered her a fake smile, forcing Nessie to join along. It often surprised you how good you were at lying, how fast you could come up with a good story. But maybe all those years of practice served you some good. It all came down to telling the truth, but not all of it. Always hiding something, always leaving details behind.

“I love baby showers. It still pains me you weren’t there for little Macey’s one, Yn. You said you had finals, or something, and couldn’t come. A shame really, your sister put so much thought into it for you to not be there. If only you’d gone to our local college, you could’ve taken just a few minutes of your day to be supportive of your family.”

“Mom,” you hissed, earning an angry glare in return. “Not here, please. Let’s go inside.”

“Fine,” she accepted, hips swaying as she followed you along. “Won’t your friend want to have some tea with us?”

“No,” you immediately cut her off. “She has things to do. For work.” Throwing your friend an apologetic glance, you closed the door behind you, locking yourself into your own hell for god knows how long.

“What are you doing here?” you inquired once you reached your living room.

“What are those manners?” she replied annoyedly. “Check your tone next time you ask me this, sweetie. It seems like you’re not pleased to have your parents around.”

“I-I’m sorry, you two just caught me by surprise. That’s all,” you excused, stuttering the words that you had managed to get out. “Where’s father?”

“In your room.” 

Your heart stopped. What was he doing in your room? Why was he there? Why were you acting like you didn’t know the answers to those questions? All your life, all your parents did was snoop around, trying to find each and every way they could keep a hold of you, of your life, of your likes. Of everything.

You didn’t remember all you had hidden in your bedroom, and what was still hanging around, at an easy reach of his hand. But you couldn’t deal with the risk of him finding something, anything, that might lead them on to your condition. 

Rushing through the corridor that led to your bedroom, you stumbled on the larger body of your father as you reached your bedroom door.

“Careful, Yn,” your father told you raspily. “Looking for something?”

His tone carried a note, a warning. He was on to something. Like a shark, he smelled blood in your attitude, preparing to attack at any moment you let something slip.

“Nothing,” you lied. “Just wanted to see you. I missed you.” You embraced your arms around his torso with difficulty, his round belly much bigger than yours and forbidding you from completing the embrace. He pushed you away not one second after you touched him, giving you a frown before heading back to the living space.

You held in your sigh, too scared he might catch on to your relief. Scanning your room quickly, you didn’t find a thing out of place and any clue he was onto something. So, quietly, you return to their presence in the small kitchen.

Their voices were blurry as you washed their dishes on your sink. They’d make themselves feel at home, cooking and eating in your home without waiting for your presence nor caring to leave you something. Your mind was elsewhere. It was in the moment they’d be gone. It was on you all alone again.

“Yn,” your father’s voice thundered through the room, making your head snap back to him in an instant. “Your mother has been talking to you.”

Staring blankly at him, you faltered a reply. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit distracted.”

“Well, get your stuff together. Your mother is talking and you should listen. Here, I’m finished with this plate.”

Keeping yourself from rolling your eyes, you dried your hands and walked in his direction, aiming to get the plate and move as quickly as you could. However, you weren’t counting with your father, who didn’t even dare to look at you to hand you his place, knocked on your bag that was standing right beside him on the table on the floor. Its content spilled on the wooden tiles, revealing keys, hair ties, your wallet and envelopes of paper.

You tried to be fast, you swore you did, but your mother was faster. Grabbing the envelope from the floor, she looked at you worriedly. “Sweetie, have you been to the hospital?”

“No. No, no. I haven’t. Must be someone else’s. Got mixed up in my stuff.”

“But it has your name in it,” she said, already skimming through the pages. You place the plate back on the table, moving to grab it off her hands when her wide eyes disapproving stare told you she had found what you’d feared the most.

“Let me see it,” your father demanded. He took the papers from your mother’s hand with ease, as her strength had already vanished from her body. Her face was pale, and her eyes held a sorrow you’d only seen in her eyes once, and it was not in a good day.

“Daddy, don’t,” you cried, but it was already too late.

The veins in his face pumped up blood like crazy, making his face turn into the deepest shade of red you’d ever seen in someone else’s face. His eyes scanned the words in front of him rapidly, shifting from one side to the other, but always returning to the same spot at the top.

“Grab your things,” he spat out. “Grab your damned fucking things.”

Swallowing dry, his words fell from one ear to the other, not stopping at your brain to be processed in your thoughts. You were reactionless, staring blankly back at him.

“Are you deaf?” he nearly screamed, grabbing your arm with a strength you knew would leave a mark. “Who is it? Who is the father?”

“I-I,” you tried to speak, but any word that came out was stuttered. Your father shook you for an answer, like you do with a snack machine that is not working. “I don’t know.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW?” This time he fully screamed. You felt a tear pool by the corner of your lip, and it was then you realized you’d already started to cry. “You have been whoring yourself around to the point you don’t know who the bastard is?”

“Daddy, I-I…”

You felt your cheek burn. The image of his fingers now printed on your face. “I’m not your father. I did not raise a daughter to be a whore, to have a child out of wedlock after everything I have done to you. You’re an ungrateful bitch if you ask me. Wife, here is the reason why she so desperately wanted to be away from her family. To be whore. To give herself out to men she doesn’t even remember. Your daughter is a slut, and if that is the life she plans on living, then let her be on her own.”

His words hit you harder than his hand did. It pained you from within, tearing your heart apart. You sobbed by now, the tears making your vision blurry. He pushed you down the corridor and into your room.

“Get your things and get away from this house.”

You did as he said. The apartment wasn’t yours, you didn’t pay any of your bills. You spat on the plate you ate from, as they say. You had everything. Even if they tried to send you back, they still gave you everything you owned. And you were reckless enough to throw it all away.

Your hands trembled while you tried to fetch your luggage from the upper shelf of your closet. Your mother soon entered the room, and you hoped that for once she would stay on your side. That for once she’d coddle you, say everything would be okay and she would fix everything. But she didn’t. She didn’t even look at you. Just grabbed your clothes from the closet and the stuff off your drawers and shoved them all into your luggage and a few bags she’d found around.

“I’m so disappointed,” she whispered to herself before looking at you. “So disappointed. We put our trust in you. I should’ve never allowed you out of my sight in the first place.”

“Mom,” you cried out, voice a trembling mess. “Mom, I didn’t…”

“Save it,” she cut you, handing you a backpack. “Just save it.”

You walked out of the room with tears filled eyes, meeting your father by the door, waiting to lead you out. When you approached him, he resumed his grip onto your arm. “Too late for tears now.”

Pulling you towards the elevator, he went in with you. You wanted to it all to be over already, but he wasn’t keen on ending his torture.

“When this freak comes out of you, remember your parents. Remember those who have treated you right just for you to fuck them over. And I wish, oh how I wish it, that this kid treats you just as bad as you did us tonight. Get out of here, I don’t want you one feet close to this building. I don’t care where you go. You managed to find a guy's dick, you’ll figure things out. Leave.”

Throwing you onto the streets, you fell straight to the floor. He spat in front of you, and walked back into the apartment building. He told the doorman something, probably to never let you in ever again. Struggling, you stood up, grabbed your stuff with trembling hands, and walked away. 

You didn’t know where to. You just knew you needed to go. As the tears blurred your sight, you walked into the darkness of the night. Aimless, senseless, and you hoped for, painless. But the aching on your heart told you you’d have a long night ahead. Alone, cold, pregnant, and fucked over.

Great. Just fucking great.

.

.

tag list: @igotanidea ; @acornacreacure ; @amberpanda99; @erochuu ; @gone-batty-fics ; @jasontoddslover ; @jkvolgs ; @just-lost-inbetween-worlds ; @killxz ; @kysrion ; @loonymoonystuff ; @munimunni ; @novs9011 ; @spideytingley ; @starcrossedtrek ; @strawberryforks ; @sttrawberries ; @vanillaattack ; @veryfabday ; @vissavin ; @xxsweetnlowxx ; @willieoo ; @wordsfromshona

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

ANOTHER CHAPTER ALREADY?!

I mean

I dunno what happened

It kinda wrote itself, I had no real hand in this

Please consult with my muses on the subject, I didn't know they were this cracked out tonight

Anyway awaaaay we gggoooooooooo

Flight Risk

Young!Mihawk x AFAB!Marine!Reader

Ch. 7 of something there's gonna be at least two more chapters

First Chapter link Previous Chapter link

Brief summary of The Story So Far: Your mission, as a Marine and Zoan type devil fruit user (gray parrot), is to gather intel on Dracule Mihawk, a pirate on the Grand Line who has become a thorn in the Marines' side over a relatively short period of time. He's discovered your secret, and your life hangs in the balance of his mercy.

Possible !!Trigger Warnings!! in this chapter!! Largely for imprisonment and psychological turmoil, though not necessarily psychological torture yet. I will say, for readers who are used to my writing characters with a relatively gentle depiction, I likely won't be taking quite as gentle of an approach here. There is some Yandere possessiveness prevalent here that I haven't written much before.

Tags: Enemies to lovers, eventually NSFW, idk maybe more later

Word Count: 3,095

Taglist: @i-am-vita @browneyedhufflepuff @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @littleleelee @nerium-lil @schanwow @dragon-bubs @animefreak818

I'm happy to add anyone that asks. Still flabbergasted that the list is this long.

I forgot to do a music thing last time bc I was so sleepy but I'mma do one this time but IT'S NOT FRATELLIS?? WHO IS EVEN RUNNING THIS BLOG?? SHOULD YOU CALL THE AUTHORITIES??

♫♬The Game- Disturbed♬♫

Tell me, exactly what am I supposed to do, now that I've allowed you to beat me?

Do you think that we could play another game? Maybe I could win this time

Dead, you were dead, he was going to kill you, and all he would have to do to get the job done would be to leave your right there in the shallows and let the tide slowly wash in until you were submerged, drained of strength and helpless.

To tighten his powerful grip around your neck until you ceased gasping for air.

To pull the golden cross from around his neck and plunge the small knife hidden within it into your torso, drag the sharp blade across your neck, watch the light leave your eyes.

So many ways he could kill you, in this very moment.

And yet his hand moved up your neck slowly, his grip unwavering as his fingers wrapped around your jaw instead. He tilted his head the slightest bit as he turned your head to one side, taking in your features with an air of both amusement and vague interest.

“And you were doing so well,” he said lightly, letting out a small sigh as he shook his head. You flinched as the rough pad of his thumb brushed across your cheek. “If you could have just refrained from making that silly little call to your boss last night—aw,” he added, an edge of mockery in his quiet words. “Did you think I was sound asleep the whole time? Poor thing.”

It hadn’t appeared as if he had done more than shift from his back to his side in the time you were gone last night—there had been absolutely no sign that he had gotten out of bed, not a single sound outside the cracked door of the study.

You should have known better.

“Though I must say, I do appreciate the vote of confidence.” Mihawk stood in a swift motion, tightening his grip around your jaw to pull you up with him, drawing a sharp gasp of alarm from you as your feet lifted a few inches from the ground. Still drenched in seawater, you didn’t even have the strength to lift your arms, held up only by his grasp, limp as a ragdoll. “‘No weaknesses.’ I’m almost flattered.”

You swallowed as he brought you closer, lifting his eyebrows a bit, the corner of his mouth curving the smallest bit into an almost imperceptible smirk.

“Provided it wasn’t a lie. You have quite the penchant for fooling others, it seems.” He quirked his brow a bit higher, his eyes darting up and down your limp form before settling back on yours. “Well? Was it a lie?”

“Mm—n-no,” you managed to choke out weakly, your eyes wincing and beginning to burn as his fingertips dug harder into your jaw and cheeks. “No…”

“No?” he repeated lightly. “Now, I’m sure you can do better than that, considering how polite you were with your employer last night. And I’m afraid it’s not them you’re answering to anymore. Try again.”

You swallowed dryly, your eyes flickering down toward his hand. “N—no, sir,” you whimpered.

“Ah, much better. Now, then….” The spark of amusement remained present in his yellow eyes as he rubbed his thumb against your cheek once again. “I suppose we should get you back inside and dried off, yes? I’d hate to see you get sick, pet.”

Your stomach felt as if it had dropped out of your body when he lifted you abruptly and flung you over his shoulder, your consciousness wavering between the complete sapping of your strength from the seawater still drenching your clothes and the state of shock you were left in. You drifted in and out during the trek back to the castle, your muscles limp and useless. You didn’t jolt back to a remotely aware state until he heaved you off and dropped you onto the cold stone floor of an unfamiliar part of the castle.

“I do just hate to have to cage you after all this time,” he said as you gazed around, your eyes squinted against the darkness. Judging from the lack of windows, you were below the ground level—and this was confirmed when he lit a torch along the wall opposite the one you were leaning against. “Nearly two months, it’s been, hasn’t it? Hmm. How the time flies.”

The dim orange light of the flame expanded as he lit another, and you realized he had deposited you in a small, square cell. The stone walls and floor were the same as the rest of the castle, if a great deal dustier, but the heavy iron bars and door made it clear that you were in the dungeon beneath the fortress.

“But, you’ve really left me no choice,” he went on with a soft, disappointed sigh. You could just make out his silhouette against the flickering firelight, the rattle of chains as he dug around in the drawer of a heavy desk just within your line of sight. “At least for now. I can’t have you escaping before we have a proper discussion about…” He lifted a heavy pair of iron shackles, examining them before giving a short nod. “About several things, really.”

He stepped slowly into the cell, his pace one of leisure, and stopped a few feet away from you, looking down at your pitiful form as you leaned back against the stone wall of the cell, struggling to steady your breathing, shivering in your damp clothes. He frowned as he looked you up and down, and gave a nod toward you.

“Off,” he said, his voice low but commanding enough that you jumped slightly, your brow furrowing as you tried to discern his meaning. “Off,” he repeated. “Can’t have you getting sick. We have a great deal to talk about.”

Your clothes. You glanced down at the wet fabric clinging to your skin, your stomach turning—he was telling you to get out of your clothes.

“Oh, modest, are we?” he said dryly, lifting an eyebrow. He took another step forward, crouching in front of you. You flinched back a bit when he reached a hand out and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Two months you’ve spent constantly at my side. I’m certain I’ve changed clothes in your presence more than a handful of times.”

“I...I didn’t...look,” you whimpered out, swallowing, closing your eyes as your face flared with heat.

“No, you didn’t,” he agreed. “I did find that curious, but you were quite the curious little bird.” You opened your eyes when you heard the chains of the shackles clink lightly, and watched as he stood, rolling his eyes as he turned around, his back to you. “Fine,” he said. “You may keep your undergarments. They’ll dry quickly enough.”

You almost wished that he had just killed you out by the shore. The embarrassment, the utter humiliation of pulling your tank top over your head and letting it fall to the floor with the towering form of the swordsman only a few feet away was enough to make you wish you could drop dead on the spot. You fumbled with your belt buckle, the buttons at the fly of your pants, before kicking them off along with your boots, wrapping your arms around your knees and clenching your eyes shut, trembling from more than just the cold, damp air of the dungeon now.

You heard a rustle of fabric in front of you, and before you could open your eyes you felt the material land in a heap at your feet. You cracked an eye open and frowned at the white heap.

Glanced up at him, your eyes widening as you realized he had removed his flowy, ruffled shirt, his back and shoulders bare as he crossed his arms, still facing the door of the cell.

“Put it on,” he commanded, stepping out of the cell. “And quickly. I pride myself on many things, my dear pet, but patience is not among them.”

You were already picking up the shirt and shrugging it around your shoulders before he finished, fumbling with the buttons with unsteady hands. The shirt was large enough on your much smaller form that it covered you from your shoulders to more than halfway down your thighs, the hem brushing your knees as you tugged it down, staring down at the floor, listening to the chair at the desk scrape across the stone. He set it down in front of you and tossed the shackles down at your feet, taking a seat and crossing an ankle over his knee.

“Those as well,” he said.

The moment your hand touched the shackles, you felt what little strength you had managed to regain begin to drift away from your body all over again. He chuckled when you drew your hand back as if you had been shocked.

“Seastone,” he said. “I salvaged them from the wreckage of a Marine vessel a handful of years ago. Thought they might prove useful one day. Go on.” He nodded down at them as you briefly met his eyes. “Around your ankles. So long as you remain compliant, I will allow you the continued use of your hands. You may need them at some point.”

You didn’t dare ask what that might mean.

You did, however, do as he told you. The seastone shackles felt as if they weighed fifty or more pounds, and it took some effort for you to drag them up even to the height of your ankles and clamp them shut.

“Very good,” he commended, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms, his eyes never leaving you as you slumped back weakly against the walls. “Still such an obedient pet, aren’t you?” Every breath you drew in took a herculean effort, felt as if it might be the last you managed to draw before you passed out from sheer physical exhaustion. “Now, this is a first on my part. I’ve never been one to waste time taking prisoners. You ought to consider yourself privileged. Grateful for my continued hospitality despite your blatant betrayal.”

You swallowed, unable to do anything but give a weak nod.

He gave another small chuckle. “You’ve been trained to handle being the victim of a potential hostage situation,” he commented—it wasn’t a question. He cocked his head slightly to the side. “You’re quite small for a Marine. What rank are you, little bird?”

“Cadet,” you forced out—and, when he lifted an eyebrow, you quickly added, “s—sir.”

“Cadet,” he repeated, leaning back a bit further. “Hm.” He lifted a hand to his chin, his expression thoughtful as he brushed his thumb across his short goatee. “And they saw fit to send you after me.” You nodded again. “Your commanding officers either have a great amount of faith in your potential or they were trying to get rid of you. Which do you think it was?”

“T...they offered me the mission,” you said quietly. “I could have turned it down.”

“Faith in your potential, then,” he said lightly. “What a pity for them Of course, they weren’t wrong,” he went on, lowering his hand down to his knee, strumming his fingers there slowly. “You did play your role well. Well enough to fool that charming pet shop owner in Acacia, even. A veritable expert on the subject. You must have done your homework. Breezed through all your tests with flying colors. I did my own homework, as you know. Amid my reading, I recall mention that wounded or sick pets might show signs of decreased appetite. Interruption of sleep. In extreme cases, potentially isolating themselves from their owners. You see…” He tilted his head once more to meet your eyes, his gaze holding your own with an intensity that made it impossible for you to break the contact. “Had I not woken last night we might not even be having this conversation. Had I not noticed your absence and worried enough to go looking for you.”

Your worry over your mission. Your inability to eat or sleep regularly. Of course he had noticed. You were an idiot to think he wouldn’t have noticed.

“Had I not heard a voice coming from the study below my chambers,” he went on, lowering his voice, “you might have been able to complete your mission without a single hitch. I would have been forced to assume when you left that you had flown off somewhere to die.”

You flinched at that, closing your eyes and lowering your head.

“Oh, now what is this?” He chuckled. “Are we feeling guilty?”

“Yes.” You spoke through gritted teeth—there was no point in lying. You were already compromised, already at his mercy. “I…made the call last night because I…I couldn’t leave with nothing to show for it. Or without…” You swallowed once more, lowering your head to your knees. “I only had four days left. I was expected to slip away unnoticed and rendezvous with my commanding officers at a designated location before returning to Marineford to report on any potential weaknesses of yours I might have discovered.”

“And you claimed you found none,” he continued for you.

You nodded. “But...caring for another living creature is always a potential weakness,” you said quietly.

“Aaah.” You swallowed dryly, clenching your eyes shut tighter as you heard him push the chair back. The whisper of his boots on the stone floor as he took a step forward, the quiet rustle as he crouched down in front of you. “And you were unwilling to list your own presence as a potential weakness. Is that it?” You nodded again, and tensed as he caught your chin in his hand. “And here I’ve already admitted to having worried for the well-being of my pet. You certainly did do a stellar job, didn’t you, my little bird?”

His tone, his touch was almost gentle, despite that edge of persisting amusement at your predicament.

“Open your eyes.”

You obeyed his command once again—though your eyelids fluttered in your growing state of exhaustion brought on by the effects of the seastone shackles wrapped around your ankles, you did your best to maintain eye contact, only vaguely aware of his thumb brushing across your bottom lip as you gazed into his yellow irises.

“I may yet have use for you,” he murmured, his voice still light and amused. “I suppose you are a pretty little thing, if nothing else. And your abilities...well, you managed to fool me, now, didn’t you? Don’t,” he added, his tone sharpening as your eyes began to drift shut, and they shot back open. “There’s one more matter. You spoke of some offer while you were making your call last night. What is it?”

“W...warlord,” you forced out. “The World Government wants to offer pirates they consider too dangerous to combat status as ‘Warlords.’ No more than seven. Bounties expunged in exchange for an agreement to cease hostility against Marines and other World Government officials, and potentially being called upon to assist with other threats.”

“Warlords,” he repeated, letting out a quiet chuckle. “And you’ve been granted permission to extend me this offer?” You gave a small nod, blinking slowly, fighting to keep your eyes open. “Since you’ve reported to your commanding officers that I have no weaknesses they can exploit.” Another nod, and a quiet affirmative hum. “Mm-hmm,” he repeated, smirking. “I suppose it’s worth thinking over. At least until you’ve regained the ability to discuss the subject coherently.”

“Four days.” He lifted his eyebrows at your mumbling, waiting for you to continue. “Need to make contact in four days or they could send a Buster Call.”

“Ah.” His thumb brushed across your cheek, and you found yourself leaning unconsciously toward the warmth of his palm. “So they would sink this entire island into the depths of the ocean with you still on it, would they?” The hum you gave this time was neither affirmative nor dissenting—it was simply in acknowledgment that he had spoken at all, as your lessening coherency made it increasingly difficult to follow his words. “That does sound quite like the Marines. Heaven forbid they should have any loose ends to worry about.”

He expelled a slow sigh, one that might have been of resignation or annoyance, or perhaps some melding of both. Either way, the warmth of his breath across your face made your eyes drift shut, made you fall fully limp against the wall behind you.

You barely registered anything beyond that. Not his light shake at your shoulder in attempt to rouse you, his exasperated sigh as he caught you before you could fall sideways and hit your head against the stone floor.

Not his irritated grumble of, “Troublesome woman,” as he drew one of your hands up to cushion your head against the hard stone floor before he pulled himself to his feet to frown down at you.

To wonder why he hadn’t shoved his way through the door of his study the moment he heard your voice last night and throttled you in that moment.

To wonder why the hell he still had any concern at all for your continued safety and well-being.

You had spent two months, two months deceiving him, abusing his good will, masquerading as a loyal companion when you were nothing more than a dirty little spy.

His hands twitched into fists for a moment as he stared down at you, gritting his teeth. He could end your life right now. It would be only too easy. Crush your throat beneath the heel of his boot. Wrap a hand around your delicate neck until the labored rise and fall of your chest ceased entirely. You had already warned him of the Marines’ potential intent to destroy this island. He could dispose of you and leave on his own before that ever came to pass.

You shifted in your sleep on the cold stone floor, shivering slightly and laying a hand over the toe of one of his boots.

Mihawk swore under his breath, reaching behind him to drag the chair back into place and sit down heavily, crossing his arms over his chest as he surveyed your slight form below him on the floor covered only by his own shirt.

“What exactly am I supposed to do with you?” he grumbled under his breath, shaking his head, not completely aware himself of how his own gaze softened as he looked down at you. “Useless thing….”

His prisoner.

His pet.

His pretty little bird.

He would be damned if anyone but him were allowed to decide your fate.

First chapter and Previous chapter links again for your convenience

[froggywritesstuff]

dysphoria | angel dust

ship/pairing: Angel dust x trans!male!reader (reader has a uterus and still gets his period)

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

request: Can I request Angel Dust comforting his trans boyfriend when he gets his period and is extremely dysphoric and depressed about the whole thing. This whole week has been a shit fest of dysphoria and crying.

warnings: maybe ooc idk , I didn't clarify in my writing but first confession of love i guess, periods, gender dysphoria, swearing, crying, emotional breakdowns, petnames (reader gets called baby), rushed ending, bad sex joke

word count: 758

A/N: sorry this is really short i have zero motivation to do anything 👍 fem and cis readers dni

You didn’t even need to tell Angel what was happening, nor did he need to ask. The second he saw your face contorted into one of discomfort, he was all over you. He hung up a dozen ‘do not disturb’ signs on your hotel room door (though it was basically a shared room at that point), prepared to verbally or physically attack anyone trying to disturb you. Before you could even mention cramps he had a heat pack fresh out the microwave for you, checking every five minutes if it was still warm or if you wanted it reheated. He would cuddle you tightly, him and Fat Nuggets doing their very best to cheer you up. Angel showed how much he truly cared for you. You couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than him. However you felt nothing he could do would make the dysphoria you felt go away. He’s an amazing boyfriend but unfortunately he can’t stop your period or give you a dick. (he could do the second one if you asked him nicely)

”Ok I think this is all the chocolate in the entire hotel, I refilled your water, and I got you some of those snacks you like.” Angel listed as he sat on the bed beside you, dumping the food in your lap before readjusting the pillows wedged between your head and the wall, wanting to make sure you were as comfortable as you could be.

”Ange, you didn’t have to do all that.” you mumbled despite knowing it was pointless and he would continue to insist on helping you. 

He pulled you closer to him, letting you rest your head against his shoulder, “I told you it’s fine. I want nothin’ more than for you to be happy.”

You lazily snuggled up to him. Dealing with your period and the gender dysphoria that tagged along with it tended to drain your energy, "Thanks. I really appreciate you helping me with this."

Angel's arm snaked around your waist, holding you close to him, "Of course baby. But of the list of things I'd do for you, this is pretty mild. If your period was a person I swear I'd fuck 'em up real bad. Make 'em regret ever makin' you feel this way."

You couldn’t tell if it was just your hormones going batshit or not, but Angel’s words had you burst into tears. You quickly buried your face in the crook of his neck as he pulled you into a tight but comfortable hug.

”You’re ok babe, I’ve got you, just let it out,” his whispers comforted you as his hand gently rubbed up and down your back soothingly, not even caring that your tears were staining his shirt. 

Shaky breaths left your lips as you cried, “I'm grateful you're helping me. But I hate this. I hate my body. I hate it so fucking much.” your voice cracked as more tears rushed down your face. Angel was quick to pull out of the hug and cup your face, his eyes on you as his thumb caressed your cheeks. “It’s not fair.”

Tears brimmed Angel’s eyes, his heart breaking at your words, “I know baby. And you're right, it’s not fair. And you don’t deserve to feel this way one bit.” he pressed his lips to your forehead, “You hear me?" you gave a small nod as his thumb wiped away your tears, "And you're not your body. You're the hottest, the funniest, the kindest, the strongest, and the most handsome - yeah you're the most handsome and hottest man I’ve ever met, who also happens to be the best boyfriend in the world. And I wanna do anythin' to help you with this pain."

A small smile grew on your lips as you listened to him. He was so genuine and sincere, a big contrast to his usual sarcastic and snarky demeanour. On a day you felt like dying only he could make you feel like living, "I love you. So much."

He smiled ear to ear, feeling his heart swell at your words, "I love you too baby." he handed you one of the snacks he had brought, "Do you wanna eat something? And then you can talk more about what's botherin' you, or we can watch movies, or we can just nap. Whatever you wanna do."

You nodded, taking a bite of the snack, "That sounds good." Angel shifted on the bed so he was beside you again, one arm around your shoulders, while the other wiped your remaining tears.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi! I have read through all of your harry metas and I love them!!! And it made me wonder whether you had any personal head-cannons regarding him? Like any unpopular ones that are not mentioned in the books or discussed by the fandom. I found only a precious few posts regarding this matter, so yeah I would like to know yours if u do have any.

Hi, thank you so much! 💕

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I just sprinkled Harry headcanons throughout my various posts but I'll try to comprise a list of some of my headcanons that popped into my head here. As such, these are all my random headcanons about Harry, some have more reasoning behind them than others. So, here are some of them in no particular order:

1. I think Harry is gay (could be demi but I don't think he's interested in women and he is interested in men. Personally, I headcanon him as gay).

I have a whole post about it here, but I don't know how common of an opinion it is since I see mostly bi Harry and not gay ones.

2. I see some fanon Harry's portrayed as very small, but I don't think he is. In my head, he's about 5'11 (by book 7) and in canon, he can lift Mundungus by the throat with one hand so... I think he's pretty fit actually. (Though he's very thin due to malnourishment). He's just always compared to Ron, who is like, ridiculously tall. I also think he was short for his age up until and including book 4. Between books 4 and 5 is when he had his first real growth spurt.

3. I think he was born Master of Death and that a lot of his miraculous survivals are because of that.

4. Harry has ADHD. It's my way to explain his tendency to be very observant of some things and not others, his crazy good selective memory, and his tendency to fail when he starts overthinking. Idk, I have ADHD and I'm getting these vibes from him (or projecting, who knows).

5. In my head, the epilogue isn't canon, so Harry breaks the curse on the DADA position, like, 5 years after the war, and starts teaching it. Until then, McGonagall just made sure to hire teachers only with one year contracts.

6. I headcanon the Potter family had more estate than just the cottage in Godric's Hollow and Harry finds out about them at some point after the war. I mean, they are reasonably rich, have a Wizengamot seat, and had more family members until very recently. They have to have more houses.

7. I think Harry and Kreature actually become friends after the books. I think they could've during the books too, Harry finds Kreature's sense of humor funny even as back as OotP:

“. . . Smells like a drain and a criminal to boot, but she’s no better, nasty old blood traitor with her brats messing up my Mistress’s house, oh my poor Mistress, if she knew, if she knew the scum they’ve let in her house, what would she say to old Kreacher, oh the shame of it, Mudbloods and werewolves and traitors and thieves, poor old Kreacher, what can he do. . . .” “Hello, Kreacher,” said Fred very loudly, closing the door with a snap. The house-elf froze in his tracks, stopped muttering, and then gave a very pronounced and very unconvincing start of surprise. “Kreacher did not see Young Master,” he said, turning around and bowing to Fred. Still facing the carpet, he added, perfectly audibly, “Nasty little brat of a blood traitor it is.” “Sorry?” said George. “Didn’t catch that last bit.” “Kreacher said nothing,” said the elf, with a second bow to George, adding in a clear undertone, “and there’s its twin, unnatural little beasts they are.” Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or not.

(OotP, 107-108)

I just see a lot of sassy potential in their dynamic.

8. Before he was hit with the killing curse, he and Lily had the same eye color, a deep, bright green. After Halloween 1981, Harry's eyes are always the shade of the killing curse, which is similar to before, just slightly lighter and brighter. It's barely noticeable unless in certain lighting, but Sirius was sure he was hallucinating from exhaustion on a few nights in Grimmauld Place where he looked at Harry, and his eyes shined just a little off, a little too brightly, the wrong color for just a moment.

9. He had at least 1 too sexy dream about Tom Riddle, and he never told and never will tell anyone if it's up to him. He tries to pretend it didn't happen tbh.

10. Same as number 9 about Sirius, honestly...

11. His animagus form would be a Raven. (Although I can see a few other forms as possible as well)

12. Sometimes, when I draw Harry, I add a little white streak of hair from his scar because I think it looks cool. Also, white hair and death connotation, so, yeah. I'd like to think that the white tuft became larger after he died and came back in the forest.

13. I usually imagine his scar going down through his eyebrow to around his right eye, basically I like it when Harry is very obviously and clearly marked by the killing curse. Unfortunately, canon contradicts this by him being able to cover the scar with his hair, and Snatchers in Deathly Hollows believed him to not be Harry Potter when he made shit up, so the scar probably isn't that noticeable. I'd like to think it is larger with very few lines going below his forehead, and just very very pale and almost invisible when Tom isn't angry over something.

14. He's short-sighted. Aka, his glasses are for looking at things far away, and if he wants to read, he can do so without the glasses, assuming he's holding the page close enough to his face. Actually, contrary to fanon opinion, I think Harry can see without his glasses, it's just really hazy, but if you stand close enough he would recognize you without his glasses. His sight isn't that bad.

15. I think throughout the series, his wardrobe slowly becomes more wizardy (and it could be really cool to implement something like that in the TV show). Basically, in year 1, he's always wearing his school robes over Dudley's muggle clothes, but through the years, he ends up buying random wizard clothing artifacts. So, in later years, he occasionally wore jeans under his robes, but sometimes he wore wizarding shirts. Sometimes, in books like 4 or 5, he could wear muggle sneakers with a casual wizarding robe on the weekend. Like, idk, I like the idea of this gradual change in his wardrobe and by book 7 when they are actively on the run from the ministry he's finally really looking the part of a wizard, but he isn't part of their society because of the war. Like, I just like this arc to his fashion that I made up in my head.

16. The one thing I might agree with the epilogue on in my headcanoned future, is that Harry declines going back for 8th year. Except in my head, he doesn't immediately go to Auror training, instead, he tries to take some time to figure his life out after everything, realizes he wants to go back to Hogwarts and that he doesn't know how to just sit down after 17 years of running on adrenalin and he ends up returning to the optional 8th year like 3 months late.

17. Harry's patronus is never going to change. He isn't going to allow that piece of his father to die, so I don't think it would change.

18. Like what I mentioned above about his eyes being just slightly off from Lily's eye color, I think his resemblance to James is like that too (and the books support me on this). In SWM Harry mentions how James has a longer nose than him and a different eye shape, and I think if you looked closely at James and Harry side by side, you'll see more and more of these differences. They look the same when you don't think about it, but once you look, they don't look like carbon copies of each other at all. I think Harry has James' eyebrows and jaw structure though.

19. For some reason, I headcanon Harry was born on the evening. Like, around 7 or 8. I really don't know why.

20. Harry doesn't know it, but he is attractive. I mean, I'm not sure I mentioned it, but girls in books 5 and 6 start looking at him, and sure, he is the Boy-Who-Lived, but if he wasn't attractive there wouldn't be that many attempts to dose him with love potion. Also, he is the son of James and Lily, so the potential there is high.

21. I'd like to think he keeps the ability to speak Parseltongue even after Voldemort dies and the Horcrux is gone. I like to think the Horcrux wasn't the only reason he could speak it. Like, in my headcanon, Lily is a descendant from a Gaunt family squib line and that's why Voldy's soul triggered the Parseltongue gene that was already there. So, in my version of the books in my head, Harry could still speak it even after book 7.

Like, these are the ones I could think of off the top of my head.

[cbrownjc]

Hi! Hope you don't mind but I wanted to ask your opinion on some stuff we learned in ep 6 and possible repercussions for Daniel's character. So we get the super heavy-handed wink wink nudge nudge "body switch" line from Raglan, which imo definitely implies they are gonna go there at some point - body switching *will* be a thing.

Before this, I was actually pretty hopeful that at some point, Armand was going to turn old man Daniel into a vampire. Not sure yet how and when it would happen, but it felt like they were building towards it (also having not forgotten the super sus levodopa treatment from probably-a-vampire Dr. Fareed). But if they're going to introduce body switching (and it feels significant that this line was said to Daniel so I doubt it will NOT involve him at all), then that no longer makes sense, right? Why bother turning old man Daniel when they're gonna body switch his spirit with what I suspect might be a cloned younger version of him (played by LBF ofc)? I realize I'm making a lot of assumptions here lol but the hints are there, aren't they? Mostly I just really don't want Eric to be written out of the show - I'm so attached to his version of Daniel (though I also want to see more of LBF - I'm so torn lmao).

Where do you think they're going with this?

Hi,

Okay, so. IF older Daniel is turned and IF the body switch is still in play, I feel there are multiple scenarios going on as to where this could be going.

The first thing we have to look at is who we might see turn older Daniel if it happens. (And which I already predicted after last week's Inside the Episode for ep 2x05 gave away that the IWTV book was going to be published I think very likely is going to happen this season.) If it's Armand who does it, then it is 100% Daniel who is being turned. If it's Louis -- or anyone else -- who does it, then it 100% is not Daniel who is being turned IMO, but Raglan James -- no matter if it's Eric that we see getting bitten, drained, and turned by Louis . . . or any other vampire.

Because this show did not go to all the trouble it did in this latest episode (2x06) to specifically discuss how Armand has never once in his whole vampire life made another vampire and then not have him be the one to turn his one-and-only book-canon fledgling.

So if we see anyone other than Armand turning older Daniel at some point? Then that is Daniel's body being turned, but Daniel's actual soul/spirit/consciousness will for sure be somewhere else. Even if we don't actually see the switch happen beforehand.

If this is the case, Daniel's soul/spirit/consciousness will be in some other body -- most likely Justin Kirk's -- and I can see a scenario where Daniel doesn't want his older body back because it's now a vampire. So a new body is made for him -- via clone or whatever -- by Dr. Fareed that is younger, but not super young or something (and played by LBF -- whom I myself have already pointed out is 36 years old right now . . . meaning he could realistically play someone 40 years old IMO).

So this way, Daniel is still human, just in a different body now. And his older body is now a vampire and . . . IDK, goes off to join in on the Great Conversion thing, I'd guess. Or, maybe James just goes off to do what he did in the TotBT book but then, maybe something goes wrong with him in Daniel's older body -- maybe he's not fully anchored to it or something because this is the first time he's ever jumped bodies. Or maybe something else goes wrong (put a pin in this). And so James jumps bodies again, but he now wants to be a vampire again really bad. Which now sets up for him plotting to steal Lestat's body and the whole TotBT storyline.

However, if we see Armand turn older Daniel? I do think they could still be setting up for the body swap but, IMO, it might go more like this if they are:

Older Daniel gets turned and, just like his book counterpart, goes mad sometime very soon after he is. And I think the earlier in the show's run that Daniel gets turned the more likely we are headed toward the book scenario of Daniel losing his mind after he is turned. Because even I have kind of glossed over the fact Daniel being turned by Armand didn't lead to a happy ending for them both -- not right away. Things actually went really bad for them for decades afterward. Daniel went mad, and he and Armand were separated during that time he was, for over 20 years before Daniel finally healed and reunited with Armand again.

And while I don't think Daniel's turning on the show will lead to a +20-year separation -- because Armand and Daniel have already done that on the show -- we are very much not out of the woods on older Daniel going mad once he is turned IMO. I think Daniel going mad after he's turned is not only very much in play but will happen at some point if he is.

And, in the show? Daniel might not just go mad because he's unable to deal with what he now is or he's angry at Armand about, well, a whole lot of things. IMO, the body swap hints might also point to something, even more, being at play here. (Pin!)

This, however, is where my thoughts on these things get a bit more possibly depressing because -- I'm not 100% sure that turning older Daniel would cure his Parkinsons. Because Parkinson's isn't like cancer or being poisoned or dying from being shot or something. Parkinson's is specifically a neurological disease.

And one thing that the books have shown is that The Blood does NOT cure something neurological.

In the books, one of the twins, the vampire Maharet, was blinded before she was turned. And she isn't able to just take some human eyes and put them into her empty eye sockets and have that work permanently. The human eyes just continue to die within her eye sockets and that is because even The Blood can't heal the nerves connecting them.

We also see that The Blood doesn't help with neurological problems with the character of Mekare -- the other twin -- in the book Prince Lestat. Now, I'm only up to Chapter 15 of that book, but I have read past the part in that book where Jesse talks about Dr. Fareed examining Mekare, particularly her brain. Because while Mekare had her tongue cut out before she was turned, something happened to her mind as well. And this is what Jesse says was discovered after Mekare was examined by Fareed (via a CAT scan and other ways):

"They said Mekare was mindless," said Jesse. "They said the brain in her head was atrophied. They said there was so little indication of brain activity that she was like a human in a coma, kept alive by the brain stem alone. Apparently, she'd been entombed for so long, possibly in a cave, no one knew, that even her sight had been affected. The powerful Blood actually hardened the atrophied tissue over time [. . .]"

What this tells me is that there is probably not going to be any reversal wrt Daniel's Parkinson's once he's turned. Daniel's brain, and nerves, might just do like Mekare's did -- harden at the point they are at now. Keeping things forever in the degenerative state they are at whenever he's turned.

The Blood can kill cancer cells, destroy poison within the body, eradicate diseases like TB from the body, and even heal cuts and wounds. But it doesn't seem to be able to do anything for neurological issues, going by the books. It freezes things where they are when you are turned wrt that and does not repair them.

So older Daniel going mad after he's turned? Might not just be because of being unable to fully deal with now being a vampire. It might also be because he was turned while his body had health issues that even The Blood cannot fix. And while he will no longer age or die, Daniel might still have his body's neurological issues that were there when he was turned, just now forever frozen in that state where they were. Just like it remained so for the twins.

The show specifically focused on Daniel's shaking getting worse in episode 2x02 when he was under emotional stress/duress, which is very much a Parkinson's thing. As I know I've said more than once, I took care of my mom for 10 years while she had Parkinson's, and because so I've hyper-noticed these things -- the camera very much sometimes focusing on Daniel's shaking this season. Daniel's shaking was even commented on by Louis just last week.

And if Daniel is turned soon, well . . . imagine having to live with something like that for eternity?

And so just like with Maharet and her eyes, which Dr. Fareed figured out how to give her permanent ones that would never die in her head, (and also knew he could give Mekare a new tongue but, at least as far as I've read that offer hasn't been accepted -- and doing something for her brain was likely out of the question given that she was the Sacred Core at that point meaning her brain was fused with Amel's spirit . . . operating on that would very likely put every vampire in the world in danger), maybe this will have Dr. Fareed coming up with a new, cloned body for Daniel that don't have those neurological issues?

And then maybe that body gets stolen by Raglan James in a later season and we get the TotBT storyline that way? I can see being one way into it.

As it is, I know that making bodies for spirits to occupy does become a thing in the books after Prince Lestat. So their being able to do so is likely going to be established at some point -- and this could be one way they do so.

But, either way, if older Daniel is turned anytime soon, these are the two ways I can see it going afterward, and probably why they are also dropping body swap hints as well along with it. Because I don't think Daniel being turned is going to be simple, or lead to something happy right away. Again, it didn't in the books.

And really, this all just kind of backs up why I wasn't ever really feeling Daniel being turned anytime soon. But I realize now that my wanting the show to wait before they did so was the more happy way I was looking at it to go.

But this is Gothic Horror. And while I don't think Eric will be "written out" right away or something, I don't think whichever scenario I've given for all of this will lead to something happy. Not for a long time. There is just too much already in the source material that points to it not, IMO. And I think the show is very much setting up for that as well with the hints it's clearly dropping wrt all of this.

[taruruchi]

SR Taruchi [Music Week] Voice Lines - PASTEL BXMB!

Thank you @raguiras for hosting this event!!!! Your idea is SOOO good and creative, I love all the groups and how much thought you put into it!! Tbh this is the first fan event I've officially participated in and it's all bc the concept is so fun HAHAHA ty again mionn <333

There are more voice lines + the non-pull looking card under the cut!

Summon Line: Sometimes I forget this is just a short event thing. I'm having a lot more fun than I thought! Kinda makes me wish we could keep doing this.

Groovy: Is it time for our performance? All right, I'll give it everything I've got!

Set to Home: Shall we go practice?

Home Transition 1: I look so fire, right?! These clothes look so good! Though it's a little uncomfy, since it's not my usual style and all. I just gotta get used to it.

Home Transition 2: I won't lie, I'm… not so good at dancing. And my singing is kinda mid. Agh, I gotta practice more… Thank goodness Kalim is such a good leader! He's so understanding.

Home Transition 3: *sigh* I don't know if I'm cut out for all this. It sure drains someone's energy… But no way am I gonna drag down my group! I want us to win, after all!

Home Transition/Login: Hmhmhm~ Hmm~ Oh! Uhh… You heard nothing, all right?! Don't share that melody with anyone, please! It's supposed to be our group's song for the competition!

Home Transition/Groovy: Do you think I got better after all our practices? I sure don't feel as bad as before. Maybe I could become an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.

Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.

Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!

Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.

Tap Home 5: Hmm, I wonder who came up with the group's name? PASTEL BXMB! does seem very fitting, but it also reminds me of bath bombs… Wait, why am I talking about this? I don't even understand bath bombs.

Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.

Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!

Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.

Tap Home 4: Have you seen Azul anywhere? He said he wanted to meet up after our individual practices with our groups so we can— Uh, ahem, you know what? Never mind. I'll go look for him myself.

Tap Home/Groovy: Performing like this is a lot harder than I thought. You have to be conscious of everything, from your expressions to your movements to your voice. Music artists, especially idols, must've had really rigorous training to get to where they are now…

Taruchi's SR card w/o all the text stuff:

Little rambles: I was initially just gonna make her mic sparkly, I've known that since the beginning, but. Idk there's something about me and glitters that makes it spread everywhere OAKSKDJSD also when I showed this to my sister, when she saw the stickers, she literally went "CUTIE MARKS??? SHE'S A PONY???" like girl 🧍‍♀️

Credits: The event is Music Weeks at NRC! by @/raguiras, who also owns Allen who's mentioned in one of the voice lines. The dividers were made by @/firefly-graphics

[sansxreaderbraindump]

CANON (maybe idk how to write his canon like personality bleh) HORROR SANS X PLAYER >:D I'm absolutely dog shit at writing canon personality and have no writing skills other then my LA classes but i forgor 💀 the lessons. but WHO CARES IM WRITING THIS FOR MY OWN BENEFIT. i might delete this in the future idk (￣﹃￣) - Ht sans being the hypocrite selfish sadist paired up with the teasing careless kind of sadist Player who was the main cause of this mess. - slightly Canonized Horrortale sans x player: The most toxic yaoi couple in the underground. /hj - imagine Player just one day comes back and sees the whole entire hellhole the underground have gotten. "Well this is interesting :)" - He hates the fact that he can't hurt you in any way, he learned that when he first tried to "hand drill" you. it drain some of your health but didn't hurt you in a way that you felt any pain, you just stared at him and grinned, flat on laughing at him. "WOW! this is new, show me more.~ =)" - he has quite a grudge against you since you left them down there , he misses you but doesn't admit it. (he would never miss but eh i said slightly canonized) - You love to tease him all day and say the most out of pocket things that catches him off guard. - Every few rare moments, you trace your fingers on the sharp edges of his head wound. you pricked your finger one time. - Horror: *rips out your entire arm* Player, blushing: OMG!! awww sans, I didn't know you felt that way about me~! - He obsessively hates you but you are into that, you horny fu- - I envisioned a fanart of horror sans biting into player's shoulder, looking at them with a hateful glare. blood dripping down their chest and shoulder like a river while player grins at him, patting his head like some he was some sort of dog. (edit: i want to add 2 more things (>'-'<) - he is very much tired of your teasing shit but tbh you make things more interesting now you're back. - That One time that he would never forget, as usually he was having stomach pain from the hunger. Until you gave him a Glamburger from your cell A inventory. It looked fresh like before everything went to shit, he couldn't believe it once he first held it. He didn't ate it right away, he rather stared at you instead and asked you "Why?" but you didn't reply, no insults, no jokes. You turned and walked away to go find your current vessel.... - "alexa play "bark like you want it" by sir Mix-A-Lot" AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA >:) /hj

anyways I'm done, thank you for reading my ted talk. ill see ya my little goobers later. *TheFatRat - Xenogenesis starts playing*

[imrllytootiredforthis]

VACATION SEX!!!!!! Specifically thinking about either beomgyu or lix for this one idk why they are so cute and would just be so easy to fluster

Like spending the whole day at the hotel pool or waterpark subtly teasing him, eyeing him up in his swimsuit without even hiding it just to see him blush, grabbing his ass when he walks in front of you, “accidentally” grinding up against him in the wave pool bc the water was just too rough before suddenly deciding you want to go tan as he begs to stay in the water a bit longer so he can calm down bc poor baby gets hard from the smallest touches. but of course you drag him out anyway as he pretends he doesn’t like the embarrassment of having to walk in front of everyone with a boner. & sitting him down on the towel to rub sunscreen on his chest and back, paying extra attention to his nipples as he whines that you guys are in public and anybody could see, even though he pushes his chest out into your hands for more (tsk tsk again with the pretending to hate the embarrassment) and also pretending to fumble with the sunscreen and dropping it on the opposite side so you have to lean over him to get it, putting your hand right by his throat for leverage and practically shoving your chest in his face as he whines harder

AND THEN FINALLYYY after a long day of him having to endure all the torturous touches and you making up excuses to stay at the pool longer because it’s funny to see him lose it, you bring him back to the room. and he is already desperate and pliant just waiting to be thrown around and used as your little doll. he’s sitting patiently on the bed as you lock the door and put up the do not disturb sign before turning to him and shoving him down onto the bed, climbing onto his lap and grinding against him like how he’s been waiting for all day. bonus points for a sloppy kissing session with his arms pinned by his head as he can hardly reciprocate bc he’s moaning so much and begging as he thrusts up into your bathing suit, asking in the sweetest voice “please please take it off, touch me, just do anything!” and how can you resist your sweet boy who’s been so patient even though he’s been waiting so long?

and round 2 in the shower afterwards bc you can’t go to bed soaked in that chlorine water… but i had this epiphany while i was scrolling through pinterest and had to tell you. anyway i see that you’re having another busy week, remember to take breaks and relax if things get too overwhelming!! also don’t forget to eat and drink water:) nothing is more important than your mental and physical health

-🎀

thank you so much<3, i'm actually gonna take a break over the weekend so everything i post is queued and i'm just going to relax for the holidays and recharge after everything that's been going on!

honestly, thank you for caring, it feels really good to have people understanding that it takes quite a bit out of my time and is also mentally as well as physically draining,

but anyway,

going on a vacation with lixie, holy fuck, the sunscreen visual you gave me was the best fucking thing in the world,

teasing him all while under the guise of simply keeping the poor baby's skin safe from the sun, brushing over his nipples, smirking as he whines about being and public, begging you to stop all while he keeps pushing his chest further into your touch and you really can’t help but notice the way he’s subtly pressing himself against your knee

whispering to him about how he’s a dirty boy, wanting to get off on your thigh in front of all these people, the little perv

he tries his very hardest not to moan from that, his lip pulled between his teeth, tiny hands fisted at his sides to keep from touching your when you ‘accidentally’ drop the lotion bottle, leaning over his body to retrieve it

after you notice how red your baby is, brushing your fingers over his freckles with a slight frown, cooing about how he’s gotten burnt all while you know damn well the effects you’re having on him. He nods along sullenly, giving his best puppy eyes and you decide to be merciful, saying you should go back to the room now so he doesn’t get more burnt

that do not disturb sign getting put to good use but he only blushes as you put it up, imagining about fifty different positions he wishes you would fuck him in right about now

he’s just so needy when you finally touch him, whining and pawing at your body, lips latching onto your skin wherever they can find purchase.

so sensitive and so worked up, moaning when you finally begin to grind down on him. he swears he can see stars, he’s so pent up from all of your teasing touches and malicious, knowing smiles

his hands rest on your hips, wanting to explore, not wanting to piss you of any further, looking up at you with the sweetest doe eyes

“can I touch, please, please, let me touch, I promise, I promise, I’ll make you feel good, I’ll make you feel so good.”

his lips leave wet kisses all over the top of your chest, a trail of saliva left behind costing your skin

but no, no because you pin his hands above his head, “no touching puppy.”

Poor puppy cries out, as you kiss him, messy and sloppy with teeth and tongue and drool and his tears mixing in, thrusting up desperately

and when you pull away you can’t help but admire how pretty he is, all messed up

“i-I’ll do anything! I’ll be good-I promise I’ll be so good!” He cries

so you take pity, grabbing the phone off the nightstand and handing it to him while you reach over to put the number in.

“okay puppy, call room service for me, make sure to not make a sound and maybe if you do good baby, I’ll give my good boy a reward~”

you slither down his body, pulling his swim trunks down right as a voice comes over the phone

“room service, how can I help you?”

—

sorry this is a bit sloppy and rushed, I wrote it on my phone right as I was about to leave😭

[literallyjustchi]

Akademiya Chronicles

Chapter 1

Hi! My name is Chi, and I am a seasoned writer. :3 I've written a full novel, 20 chapters, and 44k+ words. I'm here to give you quality writing (fanfics and not) that you don't often see here on Tumblr... without all the grammatical errors and simple typos. I hope you enjoy my first chapter ever posted *here!*

tumblr keeps messing up my formatting and IDK WHY, SEND HELP!!!!!

(MC is female, and characters may or may not be OOC. I tried to keep them as in character as I could.)

______________________________________________________________

Kaveh burst through the Akademiya’s library doors dramatically and collapsed at the nearest table, which coincidentally happened to be mine. My fellow classmates gave him a dirty look but went along with their work, most likely used to–or tired of–Kaveh’s antics.

As for me, I was too busy studying for one of the many upcoming exams. It annoyed me how Alhaitham was at the top of the class without studying or trying, and I wanted to be better than him. I knew I was smarter… I just had to put in the work. Ultimately, it would all pay off, and I would get bragging rights.

Kaveh groaned. “I should just drop out. This whole Kshahrewar thing is hard.”

I rolled my eyes, flipping a page in my book. “Keep going. You’ve already spent so much money getting where you are.”

“Easy for you to say, miss perfect grades. At least you aren’t as dreadful as Alhaitham.”

“Please stop enunciating your words. It’s very annoying.”

He sighed. “I mean, how can someone be as ignorant and… dumb as him? I never knew someone could be as dense and arrogant as him until I met him!”

“Keep your voice down. We’re in a library.” Alhaitham was anything but dumb, but I didn’t feel like arguing.

Kaveh moped. “Nobody understands my woes.”

“I understand, Kaveh.” I just don’t care. Ouch. Is that a little harsh? I closed my book with a defeated sigh. “You wanna go get something to eat for lunch?”

“Together?” He gasped, earning another sharp glare from the others. “Of course! You’re paying, though. Right?”

I put my book into my tote bag and stood up. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

______________________________________________________________

To my luck, Cyno and Tighnari were both at Puspa Café, with Cyno animatedly over-explaining the inner workings of Genius Invokation TCG even though Tighnari already knew all the nitty-gritty details.

Kaveh beamed. “Look, Cy and Ti are here! Let’s go talk to them.”

“I think I’ll pass.” If Alhaitham had one thing right, it would be that socializing was draining. I already finished my quota with the few words I exchanged with Kaveh.

Kaveh linked his arm with mine and dragged me to their table in the far corner next to a window, the sunlight filtering through. “Too bad. You need to get out more–have fun, y’know? Don’t want you to end up like Alhaitham, all moody and gloomy.”

Tighnari set down one of his cards and waved to us. “Look who decided to show up. My second favorite pair.”

“Who’s your first?” Kaveh asked.

Tighnari lowered his voice, “Cyno and Sethos, but you can’t tell them,” he said teasingly.

Cyno grimaced. “Gross. Sethos.”

I stifled a laugh. Cyno, though he’d never admit it, even if you put a musket to his head, had a soft spot for Sethos. It was mildly adorable.

Kaveh plopped on the bench, sitting next to Cyno. I, more gracefully and less rambunctiously, sat next to Tignhari with a small nod of acknowledgment.

Cyno shoved a stack of cards at Kaveh. “You’re playing. Here’s your deck. You know how to play?”

Kaveh took the deck and examined it. “Uh, sorta.”

“Good. Tighnari isn’t that good, so I hope you’re better.”

Tighnari rolled his eyes and slid an iced coffee my way. “I had a feeling you were coming.”

I took the coffee into my hands. I almost always came to the café to de-stress or as a break from my never-ending studies, so it was nice that Tighnari remembered, even though he didn’t often come to this side of Sumeru. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to agree to come with Kaveh.

The boys played a few rounds of TCG, with Kaveh losing to both of them. Tighnari had no idea what he was doing, but he was doing it better than Kaveh. It was funny to watch Cyno oneshot all of Kaveh’s active characters in one fell swoop, and Tighnari accidentally wiping out Kaveh’s supports and draining him of dice.

Tighnari leaned over to me and whispered while the others were too focused on their game to pay attention, “Don’t make this obvious, but Alhaitham just walked in.”

I nonchalantly looked toward the direction of the entrance. There he was, in all his glory. And sweat? Archons, save me.

It got much, much worse because Sethos was with him. Of course, Sethos was with him. He just had to be. This day couldn’t possibly get any better.

I winced, whispering back, “You didn’t tell him you and Cyno were here?”

“I didn’t know Kaveh was coming. Just you,” he replied.

“Well, what do we do?” “Reap what we sow, I guess. What is there to even do?”

“Prepare your shield of indifference and act like you saw or heard nothing.”

“Acting oblivious has never worked…”

“Today it will. Hopefully. Just act normal.”

Sethos was the first to spot us, his gigantic, shining smile vanishing like a smoldered flame once he saw Cyno. I averted my gaze and pretended I saw nothing.

My plan didn’t work because he and Alhaitham immediately made his way towards our table. Cyno and Sethos’s eyes locked in a fierce gaze, and I could’ve sworn that the pair wouldn’t pounce at each other like rishboland tigers if it weren’t for the fact that they had a crowd. I didn’t dare to look at Alhaitham, but I could see Kaveh scowl from the corner of my eye as I looked down at my lap.

After a long, awkward pause of silence, Tighnari spoke, “Hey, guys. Would you like to join us?” Kaveh and Cyno both muttered a “no,” while Alhaitham and Sethos said “sure.” It was almost comedic.

Sadly, Alhaitham was a freaking sadist because he sat next to me, leaving the only spot left for Sethos with Cyno and Kaveh. There was not a single doubt in my mind that he did that on purpose. The benches were supposed to only seat two people, but they could take three. It was a little cramped as Alhaitham’s thigh brushed against mine, and his hand would’ve done the same if it wasn’t wrapped around my coffee cup.

Definitely on purpose. And I hated that he pretended like nothing was happening.

Cyno pushed a deck into Sethos’s hands. “Join us.”

Sethos took the deck, looking at it like a challenge. Because it was.

Then, Cyno gave another to Alhaitham. “You can join, too, if you want. I think you’re a good player.”

Yeah, he was a good player.

Alhaitham took the deck. “Thanks. I’ll play.”

Cyno looked at me. I shook my head, and he shrugged. “You play really well, too. You could probably beat Al if you tried.”

I narrowed my eyes. He was definitely trying to egg me on, and I wasn’t going to take the bait. It was obvious bait–only an idiot would fall for it.

Alhaitham scoffed. “She couldn’t beat me if she tried.”

I snatched the spare deck from Cyno’s hands. “I’m in.”

Tighnari shook his head. “Here we go again…”

[omentranslates]

Trigun Maximum Chugai Grace Cafe Collaboration - I Translated the Website :3

Hi I saw someone on twt wanting this to be translated and that's literally all it takes to get me moving anymore so!

Anyways I translated all the food and drinks, I found the references they chose really cute except for the evil one lmao and I also included the unbelievably small print drink ingredients if you wanna try mixing them yourself!! 🫶

Also also, if you know how to use a proxy, there is actually some stuff here that overseas fans can get our hands on!! Under the cut to keep the dash clean!! Hope it helps!!!!!

Edit my dumbass forgot the original announcement link sjshsk IT’S HERE!!!

So, the menu

Going from left to right we've got

"Battle Sausage Spaghetti"

"As Many Salmon Sandwiches You Want"

"Love&Peace Donuts"

"Banana Sundae"

and on the bottom row

"The Perfect Meal Plate: Vash's Handmade Fried Rice and Salad" ((´༎ຶོω༎ຶོ`) o k )

"Particularly Wonderful Udon"

"Mille-feuille with Ceylon Tea" (i believe the first part specifies gateau mille-feuille but I went to episode one and checked the subs for what they had her say officially and they left the gateau off so I did too)

"Latte with a random character art"

Character Drinks!!!

The Bride Soda, which comes with a double-sided postcard of the sworn friends (very common nickname for Vash and Wolfwood in JP fandom and ig official uses it too)

So the soda is their proprietary thing, it doesn't say what flavor it is or if it has one, but the shotglasses come with a little bit of smoked oak syrup and black ceylon tea and you're meant to fill the rest of the glass with soda and drink it that way. And then the rest of the text is just information and disclaimers for customers that plan on taking the bottle home (I guess it breaks really easily that’s So. lmao).

Vash's Drink <3

strawberry syrup

carbonated water and lemon juice

yellow candied cherries (drained cherries) and ice

Wolfwood's Drink

crushed coffee jelly and cafe ice (ice made and flavored with concentrated coffee and fruit juice)

brewed iced coffee and gum syrup

blue curaçao syrup and carbonated water

experimental ampules filled with blue soda

the cigarette is full of light brown sugar you're meant to mix in before drinking

Knives's Drink

apple juice and round sliced apples

mint and ice (it looks like mint leaves but full disclosure they have blurred that kanji to all hell I have no idea)

Legato's Drink

blue curaçao syrup

grapefruit juice

carbonated water and a mint cherry

a lemon and ice

Collab Merch

(Overseas pay attention here!!!!!! ChugaiOnline is opening these to online orders so we can get them with a proxy, I'll leave their link at the end of this section!!!!!!)

I've also listed all the prices in yen here so you can convert them to your currency, and all of these are the prices including the listed Japanese sales tax. If you want to see the price without it, it’s just the other number on the image!

So they've got

Two way acrylic figure stands (the main stand comes with a ball chain, you can reference these on Amiami for what this kind of product looks like I'm prettyyyyy sure like they're called different but it looks like they go together the same way). Anyways this is a set of 6 and 1650 yen each, it looks like you get to choose which one you want but they don't have a deal listed for getting all of them.

Next to it are the buttons (also called can badges idk which one is more common over here), set of 12 (6 are regular and 6 are glittery variety). They are 550 yen per button AT RANDOM, THEY WILL GIVE YOU A RANDOM ONE, or a box with one of each all 12 for 6600 yen.

Below that is the polaroid collection, it's also a 12 piece set and you can get A RANDOM ONE, THEY DO NOT LET YOU PICK for 330 yen each or a box with all of them for 3960 yen.

The same exact deal with the plastic (like a vinyl material) postcards underneath, they're double-sided and come one for 660 yen each at random or the whole set for 7920 yen.

The calendar is for 2025 and is 1980 yen probably obvious but y'know

I would be so shocked if a proxy actually let you ship the Kuroneko sama cookie discs lmao but hey wtf they're 1080 yen.

The Bride soda is listed here because this is the same merch that will be sold in the shop but they specify elsewhere that it's not available for online order even in Japan you have to go to the cafe ;-;

Also this is just personal experience but a lot of proxies will not let you get like blind or random stuff like the buttons they don't let you pick which one, some of them will only let you get it if you're getting the whole box.

Annnnnnd online order special gifts!!

For every 3000 yen spent in merch (including tax) you will get a random postcard from this set!! There are 15 to collect, they are NOT divided into halves of the event, you can get any of them at any time or all at once!! However, you can't combine orders made at different times/by different people to get more and if they run out that's it. Altho fwiw I have never seen an event run out of these lol

The online order period will be from Friday, May 24th at 11 am to Sunday, June 16th at 11:59 pm (both JST) and items will begin to arrive (within Japan, proxies will have to handle our own shipping ofc) from August 2024 on a first ordered first shipped basis.

CHUGAIONLINE STORE (JAPAN)

Ok, this last bit is relevant to the in-person cafe experience so it's just for if you're curious about other cool things going on or you have a hobby of watching JP mercari like a hawk and wanna know what to expect!

Guests who reserve places at the cafe online will get copies of some of Nightow sensei's most prized sketch pages, they'll get 3 random ones! Like with the special gift postcards, there are a limited amount and this event will end when they're all gone.

And these are the coasters, guests will get one with every item they order off the food or drink menu at random (while supplies last)! The variety you can get is split between the former and latter halves of the event so there's something new to come back for even if you've already been once! (The first 12 days is on top and the last 12 days is on bottom)

They're also doing a wallscroll campaign!

They'll have these decorating the venue, and when the event is over a raffle will be held where the winners get to pick out a scroll of their choice!

OK I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING RELEVANT HAPPY TRIGUN MANGA CAFE EVENT!!!!!

[darkcloudsatnight]

Go

To un-explain the unforgivable

Drain all the blood and give the kids a show

By streetlight this dark night

A séance down below

There're things that I have done

You never should ever know

And without you is how I disappear

And live my life alone forever now

And without you is how I disappear

And live my life alone forever now

Who walks among the famous living dead

Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed

And if you could talk to me

Tell me if it's so

That all the good girls go to heaven

Well, heaven knows

That without you is how I disappear

And live my life alone forever now

And without you is how I disappear

And live my life alone forever now

Can you hear me cry out to you?

Words I thought I'd choke on figure out

I'm really not so with you anymore

I'm just a ghost

So I can't hurt you anymore

So I can't hurt you anymore

And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?

Let me go, fuck

So, you can, well now so, you can

I'm so far away from you

Well now so, you can

And without you is how I disappear

And without you is how I disappear

Whoa whoa (and without you is how I disappear)

Whoa whoa (and without you, is how, is how, is how)

Forever, forever now

Im trying to befriend you idk how you enjoy my chemical romance

Well, I don't listen to my chemical romance much (no offense my chemical romance fans) but I like this song

And yes, I did listen to the whole song to give u my honest opinion

And that opinion is

Its good 👍

(BUDDY HOLLY BY WHEEZER STARTED PLAYING AFTER THAT SONG WHAT)

Also, for befriending meh:

Its not that hard tbh 😭 I'm very easy to please and befriend

[cypheroo]

I'll forever see you | Garroth Ro'Meave ~☆

"Cyyyyyppphhhhhiieeee Your favorite shooting star has a reqquueeesssttt for yooouuuuuu/lh May I pretty please with a cherry on top, humbly beg for a fic of Laurance and/or Garroth caring for a reader who gets worked to the bone often and very rarely is supported by their family? Mcd or mys i don't mind either way :3(Can you tell i am. Very tired? LSMDNAMl)-⭐”

Word count : 1,160

Tw : none :D but it isnt totally cannon? IDK

AN : I'M SORRY ⭐I REALLY AM! IT'S A LITTLE SHORTER BUT I REALLY TRIED PUTTING LESS STORY IN AND MORE CARE IG? Also I'm sorry! I wish I could take all the stuff off your plate and let you rest! Take care ⭐!

You had to finish this, you had to finish this paper, then you'd need to finish the next paper, then the next, and the next. God you didn't even feel like you were anywhere near close to being finished at all, that didn't even account for your piling chores you had been putting off. The dishes looked steep and your next choice of clean clothes was getting harder to find, you just had so many things you had to get done and eventually finish. The world was too fast for you and it was tiring, it didn't help that your family was less than helpful, often brushing the work you had to do off, or downright ignoring your growing issues and need of help. You wanted to cry, you felt so alone and like no one would help you or show you even an ounce of empathy. Garroth was out on some mission lady aphmau sent him on, aphmau was busy with being a whole lord, your family couldn't care less, friends were worried for themselves and it left you feeling so useless and sad for your own situation. You laid your head on your desk, groaning wishing it could all be over. That was until you heard a small and soft “honey?” next to your ear. 

While it was true, he was out looking for collecting information for lord aphmau, garroth had only recently came back to phoenix drop, and he couldn't just go back to his home, he had to come see you, he had to come make sure the one he held so dear was still smiling like he loved so much, and maybe he wanted to steal a kiss or two. You brought out the fun side of Garroth, the side of him that he didn't even know he still had, the side that made him do these small romantic things for you, he'd bring the moon to you if you so desired it. Your presence calmed him and you became the oxygen he needed to live, hence why being apart hurt him so much, he longed for you those two weeks he was gone, he wanted your warmth in his arms, he wanted to feel your fingers trail through his hair, and he needed to hear your kind voice once again.

It was easy to get into your home, you had given him a key afterall. You were always one to welcome him into your space. So as soon as he closed the door as softly as he could he slipped off his shoes and helmet, setting them in their respective places, he expected you to be asleep, to be resting, hence why he was so quiet, but as soon as he saw you sitting at your desk the tired yet excited smile slowly drained from his lips, being replaced with worry for you. As soon as you set your cute little head down on that desk he slowly moved behind you, getting close to your ear and whispering that name you loved so dearly. 

You jumped and hurriedly threw a pencil at him in fear before recognizing that blonde haired man in front of you, the fear turning into happiness, you suddenly didn't feel so sad, you hugged him tightly and took in his smell, you smiled and closed your eyes, whenever you were in his arms you felt ok, you felt loved…safe.He enveloped his arms around you and let out a small laugh, “i don't think that pencil could do much harm against lil ol me” he smiled as he slightly pulled away, “my love? Why are you still awake? It's so late” he hummed softly, his voice laced with worry. You didn't know how to explain anything, simply meeting his eyes with a frown. He knew you so well that he simply placed a kiss on your head and picked up the candle by your desk, using it to illuminate the way as he took your hand, leading you upstairs to your bedroom.

It was quiet. Although not an angry silence, just one filled with worry and care. Once you were finally to your room you sat down on your bed, garroth set the candle down and kneeled in front of you, looking up at you with those beautiful blue eyes, “my love, you need proper rest, how long have you been…being stretched so thin?” he asked, he could read anyone easily, but he could read you with just your eyes alone. You gave him your answer as you attempted to look away, but he wasn't having it, using his hand to softly guide your hand into looking back at him, “you need to be more kind to yourself, baby i'm not gonna let you work yourself to death, has anyone been helping you?” he asked  as he used his other hand to trace circles into your palm. When you answered with a no he seemed more sad, not angry, nor disappointed, just sad. “Can no one see your workload? Good god baby i'm so sorry” he said as he brought your hand to his lips, kissing your hand and closing his eyes. Garroth felt bad for leaving you, he knew you could handle yourself yes but it didn't change his want to always be next to you, to always be around you. And knowing you had been suffering hurt him so much, he knew that he wouldn't leave your side until you were ok and taken care of. 

“Ill always be here to help you, ill always be here to see the work you put in, the pain you endure. My sweetheart, I will continue to do all that and more.” he softly rambled and met his eyes with yours, he was so filled with love and adoration for you. “I don't know why anyone who claims to love you wouldnt see the work you do, but i do, and ill do everything to help you be at ease.” he continued, his voice was so hurt yet so honest, so clear with his desires and love, it was you, he desired you, your happiness and smile. This all made you relax, your shoulders lowered from the tense position they were in before. That made Garroth smile, he slowly stood and let your hands go, moving to get out of his guards uniform, while you slowly made yourself comfortable, laying in the sheets, his words took so much off your shoulders, your back. So you waited for him to join you in bed.

Eventually he slowly sat in bed, putting out the candle and laying next to you, he slowly pulled you close to him resting his chin on the top of your head, and you resting yours near his chest, allowing you to hear his heartbeat, to feel his warmth, presence, and love, before you dozed off you faintly remember hearing him hum a soft tune, attempting to help you sleep.