#idk. it's just sad to me that you can share all those memories with someone and they can move on so quickly

[no-one-hears-me]

I miss all my old friends and it's sad to think that they probably don't feel the same way

[hyunpic]

HAIIIIII HAIIIII HAIIIII II III II i hit a big milestone on skz comeback day so i decided to do a lil thank u post or whatever idk. ive never done one of these in my tumblr career . As u can see ….. and the quality of the banner is trash just like where hyunjin almost fell. Can u just think of it as 5 minutes of crafts and like this is sooo five years old child making a Mother’s Day card to her mom. It’s full of love anyway 😻 i was writing this post while taking hits of my vanilla vape and it ran out of nicotine juice so im struggling and can’t focuse anymore 👍 pls forgive me this is gonna be very messy 😄

anyway these are no in particular order and sorry if i forgot someone 😔😔😔😔 this is what makes me so nervy that i have never made a post like this before like 😔 i don’t want to forget anyoneeeeeee also tumblr wouldn’t let me add more so blame them and not me DUMBLR 😡🍅🍅🍅🍅 thank u so much for sticking around and u are all so very dear to me in all of your unique ways:

@woozis @woodziecup @christakisbang @y-eontan @hyuncheols @ughbehavior @londonsboy @minchanz @minhosblr @morgoth @leenope @theboytatu @shnryjn @yang-innie @snug-gyu @jinniebit @ttathinker @digitalgirls @agibbangs @haenglixie @bangzchan @megaversed @yangjeongin @hyunchanz @seungminhos @chanstopher @chanrizard @djxiao @possession1981 @yunwooz @hyunjinz @exocean @onedoors @seungmoes @geniaparadox @kimtaegis @hyunjinz @cowboybin @farascha @wooobinz @taedongz

@strayklds: em i love to see u in my notifications and in my dms and perceiving u content and and and and etc. seeing u here always feels like the biggest warmest and welcoming hug. you are simply just like jisung - the best friend shaped guy and ilu so much for that 💖

@hanarchy: WAAAAAAA my chris.. this is so different cause we have actually met. thank y for always taking care of me… u are so so dear to me. like i will never forget the feeling of breaking down in tears when we got to lolla area and i realized i will see skz and u made sure i was okay. it will be my core memory till im in my death bed. i love u and your company and that we can bitch to each other about stuff and u just get me and i get u… i hope we can keep holding hands and making many more memories together 💘

@wantbytaemin: MY FUCKING MAIN SLAYEEEEEER it’s no joke that u stan taemin and u are a queen yourself as well… like greatness recognizes greatness. a piece of my heart is still in that weird little airbnb i shared with you in paris and whenever im sad i wish i could be there with you. my forever destined roommate or whatever idek. but i love u with all of my heart. The way we clicked right away when we met is crazy to me like i felt like i had known u forever. U are just soooOoooo amazing words can’t even describe 💘 ilyilymwahhhh

@izayaki MYYYYYY CARLYBEANNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNN I FUCKING LOVE U U ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! you could only treat me as your local sandman if u wished but i wouldn’t care like i love u so much!!!! i know i can always count u to be so crazy with me when it comes to hyunjin. also i feel like it’s worth mentioning that u make me feel so comfortable around u. i feel like i can finally be like myself whenever i talk with you :(( like u accept me just how i am and it means so much to me… idk i just feel like i will love u unconditionally and 4ever or whatever katy perry said in that one hit song of hers.

@sunmisbf we will one day smoke together. like idec how many years it will take. we will sit at that porch when we are 80 years old grandmas and we will share a joint and talk about our good old kpop days. u are a delight here and i would feel so empty if i didn’t follow u.

@dowoonyoon: my favoritest penpal.. the way u are engraved in my heart forever. u are just as lovely as taylor swift love songs, i hope u know that. im so happy to scream about anything and whatever with u. WE WILL GET MORE OF THOSE TAYLOR AND SKZ CRUMBS NEXT YEAR 🕯️🕯️🕯️

@yonglixx my sun sunny sunshine!!!! you might be one of the most supportive people on tumblr and i think we as a community need more people like u around. your light and positivity doesn’t go unnoticed. im glad to call u my friend 🌞

@ortali my cutie ortal… my favorite hyunie stan ever. me and u are the same and i miss u so dearly everyday whenever u aren’t here. tumblr isn’t the same without your presence. you bring me so much comfort and serenity and im so thankful that the world brought you to me 😣💘

@seungs: ik u hate sappy things but i will still shamelessly admit you are one of my favorite people ever here. im always here for your thoughts like i neEEED to hear them u know. you are so wise and collected and talented (ggoat = greatest gif maker of all time) that i aspire to be like u in so many ways like i just adore u so much hehe. i hope to be like u or whatever woodz said. i hope we get to meet once skz all around the world drags their booties to here mwah 💋

@seo-changbinnies: my trusted pc trader like trust all of my bin pcs will come to your way every comeback. it’s a tradition atp to stress over the international mail but i wouldn’t change a thing. u are a joy to be around and a blessing to this hellsite. so much happiness and joy radiating your tags that i couldn’t imagine tumblr without your presence. love u sososoo much 💖

@hyunsung: hello HELLOOOOO reach out to me im one of your biggest fans. i see a gifset of yours and i will be getting that thing to at least 1k notes like that’s the minimum they all deserve. you make art here and i think everyone should acknowledge it and appreciate it!!!!!!!! your name is mona just like one of the most famous art pieces of this whole world. i think it tells so much ‼️‼️

@chrisbangs my liiii my little moon… u are one of my first stayblr friends and i love u to the moon and back. whenever we catch up it’s like catching up with an old childhood bestie. nothing changed and the connection and love is always there. u mean so much to me than words could ever describe. i will forever be here rooting for you thousands miles away but our hearts will stay always connected 💘

@young-jae my forever only love sohvi. u have been here for me since the day one like im not even kidding… u know me through and through and i consider u my family at this point. i know if i fall to a dark place, i got your shoulder to lean on and that means the world to me. and same with you. you own my heart forever and always. i need to hug u so badly, i know i have the bestest hug in the world stored for u that i have been holding bag just to save it for u 💘 esc2024 here we come

@ye-xiu i feel like me and u are a married couple at this point like we have been through so much together and separately too like WOWIUUEEEEEE u are like a solid rock to me. a constant force that i can count on and i value it so much. i feel like i have told u this before but i love when u write.. u have a way with your words that always seem to touch places in my heart that i didn’t even know were there. hmm.. whatever does it ever drive u crazy how fast the night changes but it will never change me and u (that’s literally 1d lyrics but it just fits us)

@huiracha omg i adore u so much like 😭😭😭😭😭 IM SIMPLY A PEASANT WHILE PERCEIVING UR CONTENT. the way i have like actually kicked my feet few times in my bed when u rebloged something from me.. idk u are like my tumblr crush marie.. i just had to let u know here publicly!!!!!

@mybodyfails my sweetest oli with sososooooo much love to give…. u are sooooooo special. always rooting for me and hyping me up like half of my self confidence comes from your kindness. i hope you that passionate love you give out to the world will find you eventually. im glad to act as a cupid in your life too like that’s one of my greatest accomplishments and i will be mentioning it in my next job interview 😼

@hyumjim my funny guy Emily… u are like one of the funniest and craziest (in a good day at) people i have ever met. your energy irl also is just so joyful like i for real feel like i would never be depressed if i could spend at least few days a week with you (maybe that’s why u are a therapist… woah 🫨)

[geographerdose]

Synastry of my best friend of nearly 30 years & I 👭

I’m blue, she’s red in the chart below

Kind of literally cause she’s all fire and I’m all water 😆😭

I circled the two major things that stuck out to me this morning:

1. Up in Aquarius we have my north node literally conjunct her Saturn (6 degrees, and within like 15 feet)

2. Then down in Cancer/Leo, we have her Venus conjunct my Venus within 7 degrees. In Cancer, her Chiron is conjunct my Chiron within 4 degrees (but it’s pretty slow moving.)

🌻She is the only friend that has stood the test of time. A true friend.

🌻The Venus/Venus conjunction is very telling to the reciprocal ways of making each other feel loved and heard. This is rare and definitely something to hold onto. I sometimes wonder if I will only ever have long term platonic love. Part of me is sad and the other part is happy because like friends last forever. If you’re ever even remotely lovers with someone, going back to friends is…. Idk. So then even if the connection was good, you can’t really “trade” it in for the friendship version. It doesn’t work like that.

🌻But no even in different signs, maybe even because they’re in different signs, there is just a natural emotional fulfillment around one another. Surely that comes from decades of knowing each other but sometimes people walk out of our lives when we tell them what we need. The real ones stay and adjust their behavior because they love us, and want us to feel loved and have our needs met. And we do the same.

🌻I think my Moon-like, watery way of showing love gives her a feeling of security and being seen, whereas her fierce loyalty and sharing her zeal for life with me gives me a feeling of security and just fun I don’t get from anyone else.

🌻Also I noticed that her Venus is further away from the opposing rays of my Saturn than mine — it’s like she can see the good and light in me when I can’t, and reflects it back in a way that I am able to actually hear and receive.

🌻Her Saturn conjuncts my north node and I think this speaks for our longevity. She’s probably going to be in my life forever and even if not, I know we will never forget each other. No one could ever replace her either—those memories and experiences we’ve shared, the way we just know each other. Yet still got love for each other and still get along just as good as we did when we were 6.

🌻With her Sun and Mercury in my 12th house, I feel like she’s able to see my blind spots in regards to my thinking. So many times she will share something with me and it’s insane how it would have never come into my awareness and how important that perspective ends up being. Also she will unexpectedly gas me up with the most meaningful compliments that I didn’t even know I needed to hear 🥹🥹😍

🌻Our Mercury square Mercury allows us to have the best, longest conversations. Sometimes it feels like we’re so different in our preferences and thinking and emotions but also the same person deep down. We don’t really have to explain things to each other, we kind of just know. Her mercury also squares my moon.

🌻With my Venus and Jupiter in her 12th house, I am able to help her see beauty and appreciation where she did not see it before, as well as untapped abundance around her. I can’t think of a specific example but I just remember pointing out good things to her that she hadn’t been taking advantage of due to not being aware of it.

🌻

[justonemorewallflower]

Some BSG finale thoughts from me regarding Lee and Kara (spoilers ahead after cut!)

I didn't mind the ending for the most part, but I am and will always be upset about Lee's ending. Like, at the end once they're on that new planet he ends up having no one left he cares about, which is so sad. Like he wants to explore the planet and all but I know that's something he'd probably like/want to experience with someone else or at least have someone to tell his experiences to. But no, Kara is dead, his father left with Laura, and Dee is also dead.

I wonder what his father did after Laura died because then he'd be alone too. He probably built that cabin she always talked about but he'd be lonely too, I'm sure.

Just like idk, your son has no one left, go back to him. Y'all both lost the loves of your life, bond over it, keep each other company while you grieve. Build a cabin together to commemorate both of them. That's just something I wish they would have done.

But yeah, it just makes me so sad to know that Lee has no one left he really cares about to be with on this new planet. No one to experience this new life with.

And that's part of why I'm so upset about Kara. I would be less upset about her ending if his father had stayed or even if Dee was still alive, but since neither was true, she was the last person he had left that he cared about and she had to leave him too. She was the last to leave him, which hurts so much, especially since I thought it was pretty obvious neither of them wanted that. While yes, she completed her journey by leading the humans to the planet, I don't think she wanted to leave. I think she wanted to stay to experience a fresh start too, I don't think she wanted to leave Lee behind, especially when they had also finally gotten to a point where they could have gotten together with no one standing in their way.

It also gets me when I watch the scene where she's saying goodbye to him, because despite her saying how she's completeled her journey and it feels good, she looks emotional, like she's going to cry, like she doesn't want to be telling him that she's leaving him too.

And while Lee accepts her disappearance and assures she won't be forgotten, memories of her will probably always stick with him and remind him of how he wishes she was still there. I can imagine he maybe makes a grave for her or some sort of memorial, and that he probably often speaks to the sky as if hoping to speak to her, that she can somehow hear him, sharing all his adventures he has to do alone.

He would definitely miss her and I'm sure if he could've had a choice he would have had her stay, for more than one reason. I can just imagine them flying raptors (or vipers, I'm not sure how many of those ships they kept on the planet) side by side as they explore the planet's surface, crossing oceans and forests as they chase each other and mess around, laughing over the radio.

But yeah, that is my BSG rant for the day. And don't get me wrong, I'm not unbearably upset about Kara's ending, just only because of how it affected Lee's. I do wish that she could have stayed and that they could have finally been happy together, or that at least his dad came back to comfort him for a while before he was just left alone with his grief. Like not only was he left alone, but he gets stuck alone with his grief and has to try and cope and comfort himself because he has no one to comfort him, no one to turn to that he knows well anymore.

It just makes me depressed everytime I think about his ending and how it could have been better for him by multiple different ways.

[abiiors]

a little review??? of brat?? just my silly lil thoughts really

before we start - i don't listen to hyperpop/dance music that often so this is going to be superrrrr amateur review/thoughts-sharing-thing.

my favs are marked in green

360: honestly such a good fucking opener, def see myself listening to it while i get ready to go out on like a friday evening or something. there's the something about the tune that's sooooo addictive!!

club classics: this one weirdly reminds me of her older songs?? think like boom clap or other songs off of sucker. obviously, i don't mean the entire song here, i just mean parts of it. also "i wanna dance with george"!!! iconic, cunty, a serve.

sympathy is a knife: oh this one felt so raw and real!!! def can see myself listening to it, full volume in a car at like 2 in the morning. once again george reference but booooo don't call her paranoid (/j)

i might say something stupid: yeah charli was right about being honest in this album and writing about her feelings and stuff. this one ends quite abrupt but i quite like that about it?? it feels like one paranoid spiral of "and i don't know if i belong herе anymore" only for it then to be cut off by another like upbeat song (pls understand my vibe, ik all the songs are upbeat that's the point of a hyperpop album) as it's someone drowning out their insecurities behind a "party girl" mask

talk talk: this was nice? don't have much to say about this atm like i liked it but it didn't leave an impression or anything

von dutch: cunty ass anthemmmm!!! i have been fucking obsessed with this one since it came out and it's still just as fucking amazing as it was when i first listened to it. also ik the addison scream isn't a part of this one but it's so iconic

everything is romantic: the romantic little music sequence??? oh so stunning!!!! apart from that, this was like okay?? i didn't hate it but didn't particularly love it either

rewind: oh my fucking god idk what it is about the little tape rewind sounds on this one but they're scratching my brain in the best way possible!!! i might just listen to this for those alone lmao 😭 ooohhhh and the outro on this was really good too!!!

so i: oh this one made me so sad :( SOPHIE's death was probably one of the hardest things in charli's life but this song feels like such a good fucking tribute to her. "would you like this one? (maybe just a little bit?)" referring to this song, oh charli i wish i could give you a hug :( ♡︎

girl, so confusing: "girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl" - no ffr!! this was a nice song too, not one i see myself listening to on repeat but not one i might skip straight away either.

apple: pretty much same thoughts as girl, so confusing. this one has a distinct nostalgic vibe to me like idk how to explain it, it sounds like 2016 to me?? not in like a passé way, def more like a trip down the memory lane.

b2b: okay i have very biased feelings about this solely because of how fucking cuteeeeeee that george and charli photo is like she looks all fierce and cunty and he is just :)) hugging his gf :)). i def prefer the first half of this song to the second but there's like this little alien-sounding "ooOOOOoooOoo" in the background of the second half and idk why i really fuck with that

mean girls: no i love this one so much!!!! she's def talked about this before, about how girls who look like her ("dead eyes") are often considered mean girls. and this one is a whole song dedicated to them which i absolutely love

i think about it all the time: another one i'm quite ambivalent about. it's nice tho.

365: okay i love that 365 is a more hyped, more "party girl" version of 360 actually!!! love both of these songs so much!! the perfect openers and closers i think ♡︎

oh i enjoyed this album so so thoroughly!!!! i'm going to listen to it again tomorrow on my walk and see if any of my opinions have changed, if i have anything new to say etc. and i might update this.

till then thank you for coming to my silly little ted talk. i am no zane lowe but this was fun! 💚

[someiicecube]

Do you think Solomon likes soup? If so what kind?

idk what prompted this ask, but it's so out of left field I had to answer.

Lots of soup mentioned below the cut.

Firstly, we have to establish whether or not Solomon would eat soup.

The simple answer? Yes, of course he would. If it was served to him at a fancy dinner as a side— yes, he would eat it. If you made it for him whilst he was sickly and bedridden? He would give the world back to you… or most likely he'd want to return the favor one day— huh, what do you mean you don't want him making anything? He feels better now! Hey, why are you pushing him out of the kitchen? :(

One cannot simply ask whether or not Solomon has a favorite soup or not.

Like any person, he has his preferences and whatnot. Solomon prefers the classic savory kinds of soup, as he sees the dish as more of a side or something simple you make when feeling under the weather. Sour and overtly spicy flavors are things he tends to avoid. And with his dislike of the ocean, he reads to me as someone who wouldn't be privy to having any fish or seafood in his soup. Meat or vegetable-based soups are preferred.

Though, the soup he's most caught eating would be those instant noodle packets (with an egg mixed in) that he's totally not making at three am cause he forgot to eat a while ago. Oops—

But what kind of soup specifically?

Something that reminds you of home, is a common answer. But, frankly speaking, that guy has a fucky memory, so what can he remember of home? Sure, he does remember that he did have a favorite soup in his youth, but the flavor of which was something that has been lost to time and his old man brain.

So, if Solomon no longer (or has since forgotten) a soup that reminds him of home, what could be put in place of that?

That would be something made by someone he loves dearly— now if you read that as being you or someone else in universe, I'll leave it up to reader interpretation.

Hey, if that man's childhood home is lost to time, that's life. Sure, it's a sad thing to witness, but it was bound to happen— that's just how human civilizations work, they're built up, people flourish, centuries pass by, and then a new one takes its place.

But back on the soup and Solomon calling you his new home— home is not always a place, it can be a person (actually it can be a place if you consider 'your heart' a valid location).

Something made by you (whether under duress; looking at Solomon's cooking here) is always something Solomon would like. Of course, he still takes in his own preferences, but he's lucky that you do as well.

Yes, he does tend to delegate soup to be a side dish, but at home he doesn't mind making it the main course. Perhaps it's just him, but there's just something about sharing a warm bowl of soup on a cold night and sharing that with your beloved that… strikes him, makes him feel soft in side, and has a smile spreading across his lips as he takes in the moment.

Maybe it's the homemade soup making him feel all warm inside. Maybe it's the private company he's sharing with meal with. He'll never know. What Solomon does know, however, is that, he doesn't mind having soup if it's made by you.

[clever-and-unique-name]

As someone who's been through a lot of DID tumblr community, especially because you used to make infographics and talk about your DID and such here often... IDK, I don't want to ask if you regret talking about your DID or your parts so much, because that's too broad, but like.

[internal grumbling and vague gesturing]

Liiiiike... Hrgh. As a slightly adultier-adult than me, how do you balance having all this DID stuff online and also just like, being a 'normal' person in the world and having a good life where you're married and happy and all that?

For me/us, I feel like a lot of thinking and over-analyzing about DID has been detrimental overall, but it also got us to this place where we *don't* (need to) do that most of the time, and we're able to be pretty blurry and really only talk about DID/'parts stuff' if it becomes A Problem or something Comes Up.

I guess we're asking for your #HotTakes about this, if you'd like to share :)

(If you don't, that's totally okay, don't worry about it. Or you can tell us privately if you like! Just figured we'd ask, because like, nuance and we like your opinions/worldview a lot <3)

Hi Anni ilu :>

I'm answering this at work because I just Can't Resist but I'm not sure if the guys at home will feel the same so uh. That's a disclaimer I guess

Yearsss ago when we made this blog, we were specifically trying to #Figure Ourselves Out. That's explicitly what we made this blog for, to record and try to recognize patterns as we came to terms with having dissociated parts. And we were unemployed at the time (and also out of school? I think?) so we had a LOT of free time to be occupied with this stuff.

Which, as you mentioned, led to us reading a lot of books on the topic of dissociation and making Content about it. And also writing a lottt of more personal diary-like posts.

I don't regret that era per se; we went through a lottt of growth in that time, and it's nice to have it as a time capsule to look back on now (especially with the like, memory issues, ya know.) I don't mind it being Out There "publicly" either; we're pretty strict on what doxx-able info goes here, and our online presence is kept strictly from our irl one, with only a couple highly trusted exceptions.

HOWEVER

I do regret putting so much personal information here without fully understanding how vulnerable it made me. I didn't understand that talking about the struggles certain parts were going through would leave those parts open to people (with mostly good intentions) approaching us with commiseration and comfort--things our younger parts especially were starved for.

At that time we were quite isolated. We didn't have the skills to identify when we were fawning, or set boundaries when we did realize it. (This was before therapy.) And not everyone we let emotionally close to us should have been--something we unfortunately wouldn't learn until much later.

So like. Posting about DID in a general, informative way was pretty chill, and I wish I had the time and energy to do some of that again. But as far as publicly exploring our parts? We now have a pretty hard rule about only sharing things that have been resolved, or setting boundaries when needed.

But I feel you so much about mostly just being blurry unless something is a Problem or needs addressing. (Although it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as like "Why do I feel sad...oh, Reki is nearby and needs cuddles, got it.") It's just not as important now to Figure Everything and Everyone Out. I got a job to do and bills to pay. ;)

- Tris

[wangmiao]

hii! i just finished reading the dark forest!! what a journey, i think it took me about a month to finish it lol. i wanted to share some thoughts !!

i found some of the concepts fascinating.. what stuck with me the most now i that i (try to) recall everything that happened, was the battle of darkness and the dark forest theory as a whole was brilliant. i imagine those people that were just- endlessly floating in the immensely vast universe and it made me think "oh wow how Sad and Hopeless that must've been" i too would've want to end it all, i believe that's a lot to endure.. that's one

another thing was the infamous wallfacer project. well that was new. and the fact that they had to plan everything on their own bc of the sophons, that's also kind of depressing lol. one thing i was confused was: why was luoji re-elected as a wallfacer at the end? i mean there wasn't anything more he could have done anyways?

da shi as always is such a great person😭 he never abandoned luoji during this long crazy journey, even after 200+ years. honestly i love his character a ton, i wanted to see what would happen to him at the end but there was nothing! will he be on Death's end? or his character just ends here? :((

i thought the whole thing with the "trees" as homes was pretty cool, though i couldn't really see it in my imagination haha i honestly can't imagine what would our society be like in, say, 300 years from now

i found it too simplistic(? that only when the trisolarans communicated with luoji did they stopped their plan to coming to earth, or maybe there's something i missed? or maybe it is really just that: communication solves everything? lol idk

and a deserved special mention to zhang beihai, respect!

i think that's everything i've got on my mind right now, but in general it was very interesting and depressing and dark.... what were some your favourite moments from the book? i can't wait to start death's end next !! but i'll start later, i have to fully process this book first hahaha anyways that's all, have a great day or night!!! :))

hello, friend! it's great reading this ask, and i'm glad you decided to share it with me. i have to say that i read the books years ago, so my memory on everything is not that fresh. and since i read the chinese version, i don't know some of the vocabularies they used in englishn. while i'll try my best to reply to this ask, i'm sure there's gotta be some novel fans here that could do better than me.

the dark forest is indeed very interesting and depressingly dark. i was definitely in awe when i heard the dark forest theory for the first time (before i read the books, and that was partly why i decided to read them). i also really like 水滴/waterdrop or droplet which is just something that looks simple but super super super powerful.

i enjoyed reading about the wallfacer project. even the three failed ones are equally fascinating and disturbing. i want to bow down to liu cixin's imagination...if i remember it correctly, luo ji is re-elected because his "咒语/spell or curse" actually came true. and at that time humans are really hopeless, so they just want to have someone that they believe can save/lead them.

da shi is everything. i lol need a da shi myself. unfortunately, he's not in the third book. my inner shiwang shipper feels that shi qiang and wang miao got similar style of exist from the story. and the common believe (i don't even remember if i read it in the novel or it was fan theory) is that shi qiang dies of natural causes at old age like wang miao. i kinda feel like maybe shi qiang and wang miao promised each other that they'd try to stay alive so that they can both be copernicus *sobs*...

ok...bear with my silly shallow shipper's talk for a moment, you know some people were like shiwang will be no more once season 2 of three body comes out, and everyone will start to ship shi qiang and luo ji, and it kinda bothered me a bit (ps. i know most people including myself didn't ship anything while reading the books, but man, these dramas are really forcing it on us lol). but i don't anymore, because i really think wang miao is special to shi qiang. besides shi qiang being a good and protective human being who will die for the greater good, i think one of the reasons that he stays with luo ji all this time is because luo ji reminds him of wang miao. even though it is only mentioned very breifly, i do believe liu cixin meant to tell us how important wang miao is to shi qiang... “我这辈子还只见着他一个”

as for luo ji stopping the trisolarans, i think he uses the dark forest theory, and his threat of exposing the location of the trisolaris (and in turn exposing earth's location) stops their plan.

and zhang beihai is an awesome, complex, and well loved tragic hero even though he isn't a very major character like luo ji. i remember yu hewei said in an interview that if he didn't play shi qiang, he'd probably like to play zhang beihai. i'm really curious who they'd pick to play zhang beihai in season 2.

anyways, thanks so much for the ask. you made me want to re-read the books, and i know i really should! have a nice day/night!

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

just a thought: what if the reason why robin hasn't moved on (/been sucked off) is because he wants to keep the memories of all the other ghosts that he's known alive (pun intended) for as long as possible?

there's just something so unbelievably sad about him in a way... like, he gives every ghost he knew a star in the sky, holding their names and personalities in his heart even when they are long, long forgotten by the rest of the world...

& i definitely feel like the show goes out of it's way to be like 'funny caveman does funny hijinks' (which i do love btw lol he's a genuinely hilarious character!) because the reality of someone having been around for that long, seen so much and lost so much, and to still find it within him to dance and laugh, is just so achingly sad and beautiful and human!

so idk how much credibility it holds, but to me the idea that he stays because he knows that without him clinging onto the afterlife, those people will be gone forever fits really perfectly with his character... also makes me wanna bawl my eyes out hence why i'm sharing it with everyone here so you can cry too lol!

[windydrawallday]

One of my other favorite things about shipping fictional characters and making stories with them is telling experiences that go beyond the usual perfect "these two meet and become OTP in the instant" and/or are planned to be OTP at the end of the road. I mean, I'm the crazy shipper that can pair even a bunch of characters that barely mention each other meeting off-camera in canon x'D

But I find fascinating these types of scenarios that are "less perfect" and full of bumps on the road: those of beings that find themselves in need of rebuilding again a bridge of feelings that was severed by death (and even separation, a little "dead" still alive but not with you anymore in their lives).

In contrast to the usual "encounters destined to end together" here experiences are already tainted with grief and a sense of resignation… but at the same time, questioning if it will be possible for these experiences to serve any other purpose after these events. "The Love after the Love" (a spanish song I had on repeat all this week) it's what I like to call it.

And I think it can become one of the most hopeful scenarios to play around with because it is very real and something that could happen even to OTPs "Happy Ever After"'s…

[TW/CW for mentioning a real person's death and grieving]

I need to put in parallel a personal family experience about this same theme: I always remember dearly one of my uncles from my mother's side of the family who had a partner, and they looked SO PERFECT together. Good, sweet, hardworking people. Never saw sadness in their faces, always sharing trips and plans together… I almost fell envious of their sons and daughters for having such perfect parents haha

Until my aunt died during bad electricity management in her laundromat shop. I never saw a man as sad and emotionally destroyed as my uncle. It was plain painful to see him, like a ghost haunting his own home. We tried to support him during that first year of grieving until we saw he was ready to go on his own.

Then, after another year, he confessed to us (I was always happy he confided in my side of the family) that he was seeing a new partner but that he wasn't sure if keep doing it. We asked why to him, and the answer, to this day I think, is one of those that I have carved deeply on my memory: because he felt he was unrespecting his past partner.

This memory feels a bit fuzzy for me right now (this was… idk 12 years ago now?!) but I can remember clearly my mother telling him that he needed to stop feeling guilty for something that was out of his control (the death of his partner) and to think in his own happiness too. That for sure aunt would have approved of him living on because she knew he is a very lovely man full of love who deserves to not let that love die with her memory.

That it will be harder to start over, that's a given. But if he felt the need to build that bridge again but in a different direction, why hold it back?

And that experience became one more brick in my life that cemented for me that love doesn't die… once. Or it can't be killed on that first try. You will build many bridges, burn half of them, seeing part of them fall from catastrophes out of your control. But I can assure you you will always find a way to build a bridge again.

Not just because of a partner, or a new partner, or a partner after that one. Because we all hold a love so great it's unfair to let death be the end of it.

Before death definitely arrives to snatch your heart, keep loving. For the sake of love. Love is worth the effort, the pain, and the lessons.

Because loving is living. And living is a daring thing to do, to spit against death and say "My heart still beats, still exists, still feels".

That's the reason why I like putting these scenarios in fiction to. Again, I'm a sucker for angst too, and seeing a pairing endure death and separation but this? Letting my beloveds find a way out of the past, accepting that they are still living and worthy of finding someone that loves them even when carrying these broken parts, to share their most dear experiences with them? That's my jam, so much!

And if that's not the most hopeful message you can leave to this world, I will buy a hat and eat it.

PS One more additional note: with this, I want to validate too that a "Love after Love" never EVER loses its value after the first time: love just gets STRONGER!

[wulvert]

TUMBLR DELETED MY ENTIRE ORIGINAL MUNDANE FACTS ASK IM SO. ##########. I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS LOST 2 MY POOR MEMORY. anyways sorry i got distracted writing a pokemon dnd campaign. happy weed day!! nd paperteeth day woooo!!! i wish u luck in ur drawing!!!!! nyways heres um. A Lot Of Questions:

HAS AVERY NOT,,,CONSIDERED BUYING CUTLERY THAT ISNT SILVER,,,

does avery have a preferred alcoholic beverage like scarlet or does she just. not rly care as long as it has alcohol content

do any of her 11 brothers have names or nah. if they do ur very brave i would collapse on my 6th google search of "1998 Boy Names"

ur knowledge of strange asmr continues 2 fascinate me as someone who listens 2 like. repairation/restoration asmr alone with no talking ever. nyways since asmr um. probably? didnt exist in 1998 how does scarlet get her 60% sharp 40% human vampire gf 2 finally rest so she herself can sleep,,,does she have 2 drag the tv in nd play vhs tape whale noises,,,does she start doing her own asmr on the spot,,,does she just. cuddle avery so strongly she cant move. WOULD,,,WOULD SHE JUST WRAP AVERY IN COUNTLESS BLANKETS 2 IMMOBILIZE HER ND THEN SLEEP WHILE AVERY STRUGGLES OUT OF HER COCOON,,,

did avery immediately take agnes in upon finding that beast in the bin or was it like. agnes kept harassing her daily and before she knew it or could resist the bin demon wormed its way into her heart nd she adopted her.

is the hand discoloration like. a blood...hunger? blood...thirst? blood...starved? i forgot the terminology. u get it. thing or is it related 2 having claws.

WOULD scarlet nd avery ever consider adopting a 2nd cat,,,that is also vantablack with blue eyes that definitely wouldnt be an inkitties reference,,,or if scarlet gave into her fears would they get like. another tarantula/reptile/fish like scarlet used 2 have before the Tragedy,,,

if avery ever stopped being embarrassed about simply existing would she knit even more plush creatures 4 scarlet,,,would she finally share her knitting tips nd they would knit more of them together,,,

is averys little vampire fangs phone charm real teeth that she kept from some (dead) guy or are they like. fake. also wht charms does scarlet have,,,

would scarlet wear those like. fake little clip on ear piercings 2 cope with the fact she cant get more real ones anymore.

THE...THE AVES INCIDENT???? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIM.

miscellaneous rly specific question: can vampires get tattoos post-vampirism or would their healing ability just like. obliterate the ink or smthn. if they had a tattoo pre-vampirism does it forever stay in the state it was when they were turned or does it still like. fade over the years like tats usually do.

NOO RIP UR OTHER QUESTIONS- IF UREMEMBER THEM LMK THATS SO SAD

Sorry if my answers r even less ledgible than usual, my laptops still deceased and i cant use touchscreen keyboards very well for some rrleason and tbh i cant spell vry well

SHE DOESNT NEED 2 USE CUTLERY ANYMORE💪💪💪💪& her knives have handles :)

i think shes less specific abt it but probably prefers like colourful cocktails that dont taste of alcohol at all but obliterate you because u sip at 7 of them in a row but then again she probably likes to come off as someone who likes plain whiskey but she actually doesnt.

....they do not. i am still awful at names. i leave naming characters to the last minute- but imo they have a pretty like. idk old man naming convention. like ur gonna get ur edwards and georges rather than ur i literally cannot think of a name i would consider non old man ok whatever anyway.

i have a problem in regards 2 asmr. its like. i tap on things. all the time. anyway yea asmr wasnt a thing in then so probably just sits her in front of bob ross or makes her go on a 10000 mile run before dawn so shes tired out enough to just zzz as soon as her head hits the pillow. either that or yea def cocoon blanket method. she doesnt have to sleep just has to be immobilised. scarlet also does that as mentioned. they r cocoons. together. avery uncomfortable bc she needs to stretch her legs. but trapped.

probably absorbed agnes immediately and forgot about her job for like a day of blissfully washing fleas off a kitten. avery likes animals & wouldnt be able to leave her in the bin, and far too attatched to rehome. she keeps agnes to herself usually though and doesnt talk about her- (scarlet told avery to bring agnes over with her so she wouldnt be home alone (she wanted to pet the cat) (avery agreed bc she feels bad about abandoning her while she was dead for a week) (agnes is still in scarlets house)

discolouration from lack of blood!! vampires have fairly bad circulation as is. so extremities get a little corpsey after a while without any juice- it goes away with prolonged blood drinking though.

i think they would consider it but i also think agnes is a hater and wouldnt be happy about another cat- i think a little betta tank would b an option for sure- but scarlet would probably like to have a lot of pets in general :^)

she would for sure definitely, she probably has knitted kelly stuff before shes just shy about it. and eventually avery will be emotionally secure enough to share knitting tips 😌 proud of her

they are real teeth. from a person she murdered. probably the first vampire she killed, before she started at the lumber co so no need 2 turn them in for money.

scarlet probably has an obscene amt of little charms. the little smiley faces & the little scooby bracelets.

those little little ear cuffs maybe, shes probably most sad she doesnt have any helix piercings

a glare so foul

i wouldnt say so, itd heal up pretty immediately before you could even finish tatooing. which sucks- tattoos from before vampirism are now locked the way they were when turned, so even if the leg gets sawed off the leg'll grow back with the tattoo on it.

lmk if i missed anythingIwant my laptop back!!!!!

[mrkis]

I know this may make me sound like a toxic person, but I promise I aint one, but this blog feels like a safe space and I kinda want to share this with someone.

So I have this friend who is also a kpop fan and we connected (initially) due to the fact that NCT is (or for her now seems like 'was') our ult group. Her bias is Taeyong and we had spent hours and days talking about the boys, watch content together, and overall just share our love for them together. However, last year she biased Hyunjin from skz and ever since she started stanning the group too, and I mean its not a bad thing nor is it a problem, its her choice ofc, but it somehow feels like she has forgotten about NCT alltogether and it sucks cause it was a big thing in our friendship.

We still talk about them when we see each other, and I do share stuff with her on insta like before, its just that she mostly ignores them or would watch but not comment, and suddenly I would be spammed with skz content. Here, I want to mention that I cannot consider myself a fan of skz, the boys are cool and they have some nice songs, but I never got to be more than a casual listener. They are just not my group, ya know? I get that she shares stuff with me cause she is excited about them but I cannot reciprocate with the same excitment because I am not a fan, and its kind of whatever to me. I try my best but its overwhelming me when she ignores the things about a group we both stanned hard at one point (I still do ofc, NCT are my everything). She has told me that she doesnt really watch content with NCT anymore, which is fine, I had such periods too, but idk man it still kinda stings especually when she spams me with 20+ videos of a content for a group I dont stan. I kinda want to tell her that, but I dont want to sound rude or disregarding, especially since I do share NCT stuff with her, but it my head its normal because not long ago was this our favorite group.

I have also noticed how passive she is with the things they came out with, she would not share the same excitement like before and that honestly makes me sad. And like I said before, its obviously her choice who her favorite group is, its not something I have a right to bitch about its just that lingering feeling of stigma and I guess disappointment that we no longer have those NCT filled days with watching content together and stuff.

I hope this doesnt make me sound like a bad friend and person, but there is no one around me with whom I can share this with and it has been heavy on my mind. I am not someone who lets go of memories so easily and it kinda backfires for me. 😅

-🦄

i'm sorry it took incredibly long for me to answer this. i actually kept this in my inbox for a bit to think abt the right words to say.

personally, i don't think that makes you sound like a bad friend/person. its how you feel and it's completely valid, and i don't think your friend is a bad friend/person either. we all fall out of touch and find newer things to be infatuated with. it happens, yk? i mean i used to be so far up bts's asses that they used to be all i ever spoke abt until i discovered nct. but i understand that you're upset over the fact of not sharing/bonding over the same group with a friend anymore, especially with the memories you've both shared...

i think you should talk to her and say that you don't have interest in a group you don't stan... but you also need to be prepared or accept that she maybe doesn't want to talk abt nct anymore??? its a hard and tricky situation, but it's best to be honest. i promise.

[f1-birb]

any advice (or things you wish you had done, if you've been there) for when putting your dog down

i feel blindsided. we need to do it today. at the emergency vet not our regular. and i'm just. so! i mean obviously it's normal for emotions to be everywhere but yesterday morning the thought of putting her down this weekend didn't exist. at all. like no denial no pretending it won't happen it just didn't cross my mind.

i have a ton of things on etsy i wanted to look into, so many things i wanted to try and do. but kinda have to decide a good chunk of them today to make sure i have what i need. and i am considering an emergency craft store run because apparently you have to store pet fur not just in a bag? idk

we have something to do a paw print with but just realized if it sets and cracks or doesn’t set (very me luck) i can’t redo. i can’t redo it. what a horrid realization to come across my mi d

there's a mail away for the cremation that does nice memorabilia afterwards, they do a nose print or a paw print, i mean you could get both but it’s 64 each lol 😔 but at least i know they’d be good..

sorry i rambled away. i know i’m gonna be upset for forgetting to do something. i’m already devastated as it is plus i’m going on two hours of sleep and my period 🙂

i’m going to cry horrendously and i hate that i cry at a level of public spectacle. anyway. if you have any advice or memorial things or anything to help me survive today i would appreciate it 🫂

Oh anon, I am so so sorry you've got to make that decision and you've got to say goodbye to your dog. I've only ever had 2 pets (one of whom is still alive and well) and the one who did pass was when I was 13 and it was incredibly sudden

I asked the wonderful @f1-disaster-bi if she had any advice as I know she's been in your position before and she's given me permission to share:

Oh god, that poor anon. I would never wish having to say goodbye to a pet on anyone. I've lost 3 in my life, and it's been hard.

I've....never really done any memorial things except for with T? We didn't even think of it, but we were never offered anything plus we just couldn't afford it.

What our vet did with T though was clip some of her fur and put it in a little bottle (like those little ones with fairy dust for kids?) and tied a ribbon around it? So we each have one of those, and when G passed, we donated money to the Community Cats organisation and got little key chains each with a little saying on them that the three of us still have.

Honestly, it's going to be hard. You can tell anon that the vet won't judge them for crying. They'll be compassionate, at least in my experience.

Our vet has a little fake candle they might in the waiting room in front of a sign that says "someone is saying goodbye to a beloved family member, please be reapectful" and we had some nice people come over to pet T and tell us they were sorry before we went in with her.

I stayed with her until she was gone, and the vets were lovely and just let me talk and cry because I was a wreck saying goodbye to my best friend cause I'd had her for 17 years

Another thing I'd say is don't worry about forgetting anything because what's important now is just being there for their dog. That's the important thing. Cuddle them, give them kisses, tell them you love them and that they've been such a good friend and pet. That's honestly the most important thing right now for owner and pet.

Remembering that they were loved, and will still be loved and that they gave them the best life and while this is sad and horrible, they're making the hardest but kindest decision anyone can make for a pet. It hurts, but your pet will know they were loved

Again, I'm so sorry that you've got to go through this, send you all the love and hugs for you and your family and your lovely dog who I'm sure knows just how much you love them and have appreciated their companionship for however long you've had them for

If there's anything I can do please please let me know

[vanquishedvaliant]

personal thoughts about a friend

a close friend of mine was some time ago diagnosed with a terminal, debilitating illness.

at first they were optimistic about controlling it, but their condition has recently worsened severely in a short period of time and...it's hard to talk about and hard to think about, for them especially.

disability and death isn't easy for anyone but. well, i've watched elder family members slowly drift away, but it's different when someone is older. i've never had someone near to my age, a friend known through my own efforts face this kind of thing. I'm scared for them, and sad myself, but mostly I just wish I could do more for them

Recently it feels like i've become one of the few people they feel comfortable expressing this specific knowledge and pain to. they don't really want other people to know the specific details because, well.

having a bunch of your friends fret and worry over you all the time for something they can't help with isn't exactly something that would make anyone feel good

here I am worrying, though

I'm trying to offer what kind of emotional support I can at least and try to be... neutral. not stifling with platitudes or overbearing with sympathy. try to talk to them normally about things they enjoy when they're doing better, and let them talk about what hurts when they're doing worse

sometimes now they drift into talking about settling their affairs, even mentioning bequeathing something of value to me, and not being able to tell if they were serious or joking.

i really hope things like that aren't as close as they've started to feel for them, knowing their previous optimism, some medical information and prognoses, etc. it's still too early to say if they have 'time left' or how long that is, but, it's easy to understand why its become important...

I personally just can't help but feel regrets. I wish i'd spent more time with them when they were healthier. i wish i'd met them earlier. i wish i'd spoken more with them, shared more with them

I want to do what i can with whatever time they have remaining, to make more memories, but it's hard for them to do those things

idk. i don't have any big statement or moral or insight to drop here, I just need to talk about the fact that my friend is sick and getting worse and I'm sad about it

[tired-smol-ray]

No one needs to read this i just want to share? For comfort, a lil bit for pride and also for the sake of this helping me with moving on.

Im going through my first breakup rn and besides everything i am pretty proud of myself for the way im handling it. Two years ago i would have been absolutely shattered. Or even just one year ago.

We were dating for 7 months and being honest so much was going on between us way before. I grew so much in the time of our friendship and then even more while dating. We were a long-distance couple and i visited them and met them for the first time the last week. I came back home 3 days ago and yesterday we broke up. And i am so??? Bamboozled about how ....healthy?? And smooth? And so respectfully this ended. I admire them so much, simply as a human and our breakup-talk going so "well" is only making me love them and mourn this even more.

We will continue to stay friends (i am so glad, they are my best friend and i wouldnt want to lose them. We already promised eachother whether the dating thing works or not, we will stay friends). I am going to take my space and try to get my mind off of them a little bit tho. It's gonna be hard since they became a part of my every day life.

I am sure i will be okay and move on as time passes and we were friends before, we were friends during (our relationship) and we can be friends again. I am sad that we didnt exchange many affections (such as kissing, cuddling etc.) when we spent last week together, but since we broke up now it is probably better this way and might make it easier to move on that if we had done those things. I will never find out if that is true ofc but oh well.

I am still in love with them, they are not.

I didnt know that a breakup makes one feel so embarassed. I knew about being sad, a lil angry, overthinking and trying to look for signs. But that it was also so embarassing and feels so ridiculous? Damn. I poured my heart out to someone and we worked through so much and oh. It stops now. Okay? Okay.

Why am i sharing this? Idk i have been using this platform a lot when i was younger and going through a lot of bad things that i absolutely crumbled under and i wanna post smth now on here that shows my growth. And i also just need to let it all out somewhere.

It's just also a bit hard to cope bc i am more used to things ending badly. In movies and people around me things stop bc of a fight or sm1 cheated or one didnt treat the other one well. But we ended our realtionship with peace and no one teaches you how to deal with smth that ended without it hurting before the end came.

I am forever going to cherish this experience and these memories. But for now i am sad, but i will be okay after.

[journalofsorts2]

how much longer do i have to wait to get my perfect relationship? all i want is someone to share those small moments with, someone to tell me it's okay when i'm sad, someone to be there when i'm lonely, someone to escape life with, someone who's okay with all my trauma and shit because they have it bad too, someone who i can hold in the dead of night, someone who i could never doubt loves me, someone to peel oranges for. that's all i want, someone to peel oranges for. someone to share the orange with. when will i get that? i thought i had that, i thought i had that with her. i loved her so much, but i don't think she ever really loved me. i think i was a phase to her. a childhood friend makes for an easy partner to go through the after covid phases of life with, i guess. i really fucking loved her y'know? it's been like two years and i still think about how much i miss her. it's better now, i can live life knowing she hates me now, but the first couple of months were pretty hard. i don't think i've ever talked about her on here. at least not journal 2. i definitely talked about her in journal 1. god i have a whole section of my notes app dedicated to her. that's how wide ranging the emotions she made me feel were. i just looked now and her folder has 75 notes. some of them are dumb stuff from when we actually were friends but most of it is anger and sadness towards her after the fact.

god, i'm looking through them rn and y'know that one song that goes "i hate vegetables, but i'll put that string bean on my plate" well i put that quote and that that was how she made me feel. cause we used to stay up late and talk about how when we were older we would run away to some remote place in like northern italy or canada or iceland, and she would talk about how she dreamt of making home made pasta in the afternoon and biking in the evening, and oh my god do i hate pasta but the idea still sounded absolutely amazing to just have any homecooked meal by her, and so like 'i hate pasta, but i'll put that penne on my plate'. idk it was stupid but it meant the world to me. she honestly kept me alive back then. shit was horrible, i hated life more than anything back then, but then we got closer and suddenly i had a reason to get out of bed. she put my fucking name in a heart on my yearbook. like how tf am i supposed to get over someone like that when all i've known is rejection and hurt. she used to fucking say 'i love you' every night to me, even if we hadn't been talking that night. we had a special charm thingy that was from something she got me into and we made our thing, we both wore the charm proudly every day. it hurt so fucking much to come back after summer and see her without the charm. there was this one time we were out in the grass and another friend was with us, and her and them were making flower crowns and we were all just talking and it started raining and so we all held hands and ran inside but then once we kept walking they let go of each other's hands but me and her kept holding hands. it made me smile. oh my god, there was this one time where her and that friend were walking ahead of me side by side and there wasn't really enough room for me but whatever, it hurt but i'm used to it, but then she turns around and is like 'what are you doing? stop walking behind us and walk beside us!' and pulled me forward with a smile and omg did that make me want to happy cry. i memorized different ways to say 'i love you' in different languages because i (stupidly) hoped i would get to say them to her one day. one time we were sitting on her bed watching tiktok and she put her head on my shoulder and leaned into me and my feet were so uncomfortable but i stayed like that because i loved being next to her and we stayed like that for a couple hours until i had to go and my feet hurt really bad afterwards but it was worth it. that was one of my last happy memories with her. god i make it sound like she died or something. no, she's perfectly alive, she even replaced me like a week after she stopped talking to me. y'know how i know? she introduced me to them and then i got to see all the little things they did that we used to do. that was nice. god i didn't deserve her at all. she was too good for me. maybe she realized that. maybe thats why she stopped talking to me. i tried to fix things. i did. but she didn't want to. that's fine, she's her own person or whatever, i just wish i knew what i did wrong. i miss her so bad man. she made me so happy. i hadn't had that happy in a while, and i haven't had that happy since her. i like to think that maybe there was at least one moment where she loved me truly. just one. because i loved her. i didn't truly understand what love felt like till her. and i miss her.