#if anyone know what fic those 1st two are from pls let me know so i can link i absolutely could not find it rip

[mediocredoots]

Kaijou, unsurprisingly 🤭

I'm always happy to answer kaijou stuff though!

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: I don't know the exact fic or doujin that opened my eyes completely to the two but after discovering slash for the 1st time on quizilla from a weird oc trying to get kaiba and joey to kiss fic to being directed to FF.N was a wild ride fhksdjf. Somewhere along the lines of browsing all the fanfics lemon and all, then rewatching ygo in the og dub changed my mind about them and from then on I was on board.

my thoughts: I love them 🥲 sometimes the content around them leaves a bad taste in my mouth esp from the times of yore fhdskjf but the way I personally see them and frame the way I want them to interact is what I like. sometimes I like them just getting on each other's nerves and despising one another, other times I like the idea of them being domestic in their own little way but it's the build up of trust/understanding and maybe a little fucked up abnormal situationship that brings them together?

What makes me happy about them: The thought of them coming to the conclusion that although they're different the things they lack in themselves might actually be the other person's strength. ie kaiba seeing losing as the end of the line yet jounouchi seeing it as another chance to keep going & improving—the tenacity. on the other end jounouchi has some insecurities that peek through when he's cornered or unsure of himself but kaiba's confidence in himself is overwhelmingly high. annoying at times perhaps but still an admirable trait I'd believe jou would be slightly envious of.

What makes me sad about them: That they didn't duel nearly as much as I'd wanted them to only 2x, 3 if you count the 4way battle. I swear I watch that one duel from BC at least 3x a month i'm not joking. I would just loved to see jou have kaiba on the ropes for once.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: oh man there were so many things. not so much annoying but gives me the ick fhksdjf. Kaiba being overly lovey dovey like baby talk and always hugging and kissing? I just can't see it. I think he'd have his own type of love language for sure but just not that. this is more so what older kaijou fics were like but the uwu uke jounou who cannot defend himself from big baddie seto. like c'mon let jou deck him in the face or knee him in the stomach pls.

things I look for in fanfic: How kaiba is written & if I can tolerate it. That's the biggest thing tbh 😂

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: the only other person I'd set kaiba up with is no one at all lmao or ishizu only because she wouldn't put up with his bs lol but also other reasons. jounou ofc otogi or anyone he is my shipping bicycle lol 

My happily ever after for them: Realistically is them being on decent terms with one another that they can stand to be in the same room together hfkjsdf. But otherwise at a point where they can both say "I love you" ( even if it may not be exactly those words ) without getting flustered over it 😩💕

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I feel jounou would've tried to fight to be big spoon & kaiba wouldn't even let him get the chance lol. I think the only time jou can manage to be big spoon is if kaiba is so delirious with sleep that he simply allows it and jounouchi is very happy those times. he doesn't mind being little spoon but he is very much a giver and wants to give that experience to kaiba too!

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Dueling haha. other than that I think it'd be pretty adorable that they took frequent trips to Kaibaland when they're both free. Jou with a BEWD hat like the mickey ears 😂

[geekysprinkler]

raylan and boyd + saying each other’s names

1//Sierra DeMulder, Today Means Amen//2//C.T. Salazar, Headless John the Baptist Hitchhiking// pprfaith, maybe you're my favorite sinner//Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous// Catchclaw, Like You Own It//Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care//GoldStarGrl, Twang

[eunwoonii]

ASTRO

because titles are original

ok so i’m probably going to put a “read more” because i’m about to get emotional over astro and i don’t wanna ruin anyone’s dash either jlkfgdfjlkgf, pls be aware it’s midnight and i’m emo

I’ve discovered ASTRO on aug 2, 2017, by a friend (kis ily) who shared me their famous “catching cicada” video (and tbh I laugh more to this than anything else even now). Last year then, I got interested in them and thanks to friends I was able to know more about them, which members, etc. and I had that massive crush on Dongmin that I still have, he’s my UB and no one will ever make me think otherwise,,,,

So by their CSC comeback I had listened to their singles and they weren’t really part of my life, I loved them a lot so I listened sometimes to their songs but that was most of it, I had school & a bunch of other stuff going on and I was 14, I didn’t know stuff about kpop and so I had no idea of how comebacks worked. On november though, like the 1st of november, I saw their Music Bank CSC comeback and oof was I amazed. Like I think I sat in front of my TV for 5 minutes because I wanted to know if they were going to do it again jgfdljdg

So CSC became one of my Favourite Songs Ever and I got more into astro from then, knowing more about them, their past, their dramas, and all that kind of stuff, their famous memes (hi dongminion) but it wasn’t that much still.

In january 2018, I had a twitter acc that is now suspended but i saw their ISAC and I had finally downloaded most of their songs, plus I had kpop friends in my class and I was like pls stan them i love them and that allowed me to know more about kpop in general (I only stanned astro and knew some other groups but that’s all), and so it was the nicest moments, listening to astro while getting back from school, before sleeping, and because I loved them so much I decided to try and learn korean so that I could say something cool if I ever met them (plot twist: im bad at it). I would celebrate the members’ birthdays and I started my first and probably only one at this point binu fic, and I fell in love with Dongmin even more I guess.

I don’t really remember the date but in march something the fantagio drama started and oh boy was I worried, I legit cried a lot during that time because I was worried and couldn’t sleep properly, because they had brought a lot of positivity for me and hope, I’ll get to that later but yeah you have the point.

And then, I got really confused with school, friendships, dealing with that kind of stuff was complicated and my twitter acc + first tumblr acc got suspended for no reason apparently, so even though I kept on listening to astro I wasn’t really aware of what they were doing, I had some news but there wasn’t any comeback and with what was happening it would’ve been hard to see one. From march to june, I had exams + personal stuff and shit was hard to deal with, so like some people in the fandom who had personal things I didn’t hear much from astro except for big news. I still don’t understand the whole fantagio drama but I was already lost in my life.

When I learnt they would have their comeback in july, on the 24th, I cried, when I saw Always You for the first time, I cried, and well I cried while listening to all of the album that’s not a surprise. I was so, so, so, so, so, so happy they could perform again, that they didn’t disband, that they were there, I could see them, their hard work, the lyrics to their songs that made me cry even more, I’m a crying mess but I was honestly so happy I kept on screaming for 8h that day. 

Which brings us to now, it’s the 15th of august, and that chronology would be a perfect way to sum up how astro led me to who I am now, if I didn’t talk about the emotional aspect.

Last october, I turned 15, and at this time I questioned myself on so many things, gender identity, sexuality, my future, and I was so confused about everything and I kept it all to myself and wasn’t able to be happy. So on that nov 2, 2017, I think I had given up on understanding anything at this moment, I saw their Music Bank CSC comeback. My thought while seeing Dongmin, all of astro while they performed? “That’s who I wanna be. I wanna be like them.” There’s a 0% chance I will end up becoming Dongmin ofc but I had found a model for my life, someone to get attached to so I wouldn’t be depressed anymore, or I would get happier and be able to live properly. Which I did, I was really happy and even though times weren’t the simplest, that’s when I aspired to become someone astro could be proud of, that’s still my goal today.

Astro had helped me during that time, and I didn’t know that but they would help me a lot. There was a super interesting twitt thread on how kpop/biases are models and lift people’s spirits up, and I think that happened to me. Since I’m depressed, I had many low times, and guess what musics would I listen to during those times? Yeah, you got it. Baby or Breathless are songs that instantly make me feel better, most of their songs do actually, but that helped me so much, I could dance (plot twist: im bad at this too) to their songs freely, I can’t learn the choregraphies properly but just dancing to their songs is incredible.

That’s what, with a lot of positivity in early 2018, helped me be someone reasonable, I was proud of myself, I loved astro, my friends, my boyfriend, etc. I was really happy and I got to know more people because of kpop too (I got into nct, got7, exo, and a bunch of other groups) so that really was a good time.

I was so, so afraid when the fantagio drama started, and I don’t really know what happened at this point, things are still confused in my mind but I still listened to astro whenever I could, whether I was in a good mood or in a bad mood. And then, in april-may, I did things, that I’m not proud of, and thanks to a lot of help and astro I was able to get together better. All of this because “I can become someone astro would be proud of, I don’t owe them anything but they’re what’s keeping me in shape somehow”, and just jamming to their songs is the perfect feeling.

I love and love astro more than any other kpop group, because I learnt their hard times, their best moments, their fears, and when they had their comeback last month, I felt relieved. I had been maybe at my worst in april/may/june, but with them, I found a new reason to smile, because I couldn’t just drop them after all the fears, stress, obstacles they’ve been through for their comeback, even to just work. “If astro went through it, I can go through it so that I’ll be able to be a better person”. It seems harsh but it’s surprisingly a motto I still have, I don’t seek on making things difficult and worse for me, but I was somehow more able to separate the real difficulties for me from things that I shouldn’t take care of.

On aug, 2, 2018, I did the thing i’m not proud of again, maybe some of it have guessed it but that’s not the point. I know I’ll forever regret it, because I did it after being clean for 2 months, and on my birthday-of-knowing-astro, astro which has been the group to help me the most during last year and this year, and it’ll take time for me to fully assume my actions and their consequences. Even though I got support from friends, especially from two really close to mine (kis and nicole ily), I won’t be fully capable of not hating me for having done this.

But I know, at the end of the day, that I’ll be able to go through it. Why? “Because I can still be someone astro would be proud of”. It’s naive from me to believe astro would even care about me particularly, but I don’t care and if this helps me to get better, then so be it. I have no contract or deal with astro that tells me that I have to have them as models, but I will continue to admire them.

Astro has probably been one of the hardest-working groups I’ve ever seen, I’m not saying other groups are lazy but they’ve had already a ton of comebacks, events, astroads, fanmeetings, kdramas, events, mc duties to be in, and I’ve never heard bad things about them. Ofc haters are a thing, and a lot of kpop groups have hard work, but they are the only group that I know that have put all their time and energy for that, and most importantly, they kept on smiling. They’re the group I love the most, because they don’t complain, they’re all talented in their own ways, my bias may be Dongmin but let me go to hell if I say that I don’t like any of the other members. I could quote their qualities forever, they’re not perfect of course but they put dedication, time, love, work, their own fears, doubts, or happiness into these albums. Plus, they’re always excited as puppies for everything, they’re all cute, visuals, if I see a picture of them I can’t stop smiling for 3h,,,

So astro has been a really important part of my life, yes. Whatever astro does, as long as it’s not harmful to people, I’ll be by their side, I like to hear from them, see them, support them in any way I can, reblog, like, tweet, whatever I can do to be someone they would be proud of, even if they don’t know me.

Through all the things they lived, and did, I was able to live too, that’s why astro is and will forever be my UG, and Dongmin is my ideal man, wait no all of them are my ideal men, in terms of who I want to be. If they chose us, arohas, if they’re always going to choose you, then I will always choose them.

It’s now 1am, almost 2, and I haven’t stopped writing since midnight,,,, I’m tired help me

TL;DR: I’m very proud of ASTRO, they have That Power of making me happy, I said I didn’t owe them anything since they don’t know me but I owe them my life. I will always, always, thank them all for what they’ve done. Maybe I’m being an extreme fan but I don’t really care as long as I don’t turn into a harmful fan. They led me to a better life already, and I’ll forever be thankful to them, even if they don’t know me, even if they don’t know that story.

you can reblog this or like this, i don’t rlly care, i felt like i had the need to explain that today (it’s a special day for me too!!) and if yall leave replies ill be the happiest man on earth tbh. ty to those who read the whole thing, yall know about my life with astro and im glad if it helps you know me better!