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nataliesfirefly · 7 months

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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 6

a/n: hey guys!! im so sorry this part has taken me so long! im currently on a trip so i havent had much time to write! but i hope this makes up for it, im super excited for yall to read this!!! also i think im going to plan for this series to have a few more chapters, probably max 9 or 10! i love it sm i really dont want it to end 😭 but anyways enjoyyy and comment what you think! and again i apologize if the smut is mid.. btw this is not proofread LMAO

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word count: 4.9k words

warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v, angst, language, smoking, afab reader

You’re sitting in your bed, reading a magazine, when your flip phone rings. You lean forward to pick it up from the corner of the bed, wondering who could be calling you this late. You raise your eyebrows when you see that it’s Lola. You haven’t spoken to her since school got out. Nevertheless, you answer it and put the phone up to your ear.

“Lola! Hey,” You grin. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you picked up. I’m so bored around here,” She groans, and you smile even bigger at the sound of her voice on the other end. “Around where?” You ask curiously.

“My parents’. I have to babysit my younger sister all the time. It’s exhausting, really,” She moans. “I just want to like, go to a party or something. Honestly, I would even prefer to be going to classes right now instead of this.”

“Wow. That must mean it’s really bad then, huh?” You continue flipping through the magazine, your eyes scanning through the apparently trending fashion and makeup choices at the moment.

“Yes. Ugh. You’re at Saltburn, right?” She asks. “Yeah.” You reply.

“How’s that going?” Lola questions, and you hear another voice in the background that sounds like her, only higher-pitched. “No, I’m on the phone. Go away. Shoo,”

You try not to snicker at her shooing away her little sister. “It’s…” You trail off, trying to decide the right way to describe how the summer is going so far for you. “I don’t know. Different.”

“How so?” You pause and wonder if you should tell her what’s been going on. You decide it’s probably better not to and keep some things to yourself.

“I think it’s just cause we’re growing up. I mean, we graduate in less than two years.” You shrug and reach over to grab your glass of wine. “Oh God, don’t remind me. My parents are still asking me what my plans are,” She sighs loudly.

“I can’t believe it.” You shake your head and close the magazine, uninterested in the latest celebrity drama. An idea suddenly forms in your mind.

“Hey, the Cattons are throwing one of their big summer parties in a few days. I could invite you?” You suggest. You hear Lola gasp. “Really?! I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many stories about the Saltburn parties.” She makes it sound so dramatic, and you giggle.

“And you’d get a chance to see Felix,” You grin as you hear her jumping around. “Yeah, I would! You don’t need to convince me any further. I’ll be there,” She pauses. “Wait, but they’ll let me come, right?”

“Oh, of course. They like me a lot, so I’m sure they won’t mind.” You assure her. “Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, my love. I’ll let you get some sleep. See you soon!” She squeals excitedly and you roll your eyes with a smile as she hangs up.

You set down your phone and sigh, looking around your dim room.

You haven’t been able to get Farleigh out of your mind since your little… moment two nights ago. He’s not avoiding you, but he’s not being nice either. He’s gone back to teasing you and embarrassing you in front of the Cattons. You should’ve known that if you got too close, he’d pull away and return to his old ways.

But every little glance you two share has your stomach fluttering and your heart pounding. Every insult meant to hurt or offend you has the opposite effect. In some depraved way, you like when he degrades you. The past two nights, you’ve laid awake and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relive that night when he made you feel so good. Just the thought of him had your mind reeling. You would do anything just to feel that way again. You’re hooked.

You can’t just keep wallowing in these feelings. You want to talk to him, work things out, and go back to how they used to be a week ago. More importantly, you just want to be in his presence. It gives you some kind of thrill to be around him. It’s like a game of roulette to see which version of him you’ll get each time, and you love it. You crave his attention.

You climb off of your large bed and walk determinedly to your door, opening it quietly and sneaking down the hallway. It’s quite a long walk to Farleigh’s room, but you don’t care. You pass Felix’s room, then Venetia’s. Both of their lights are out, telling you that everyone in the house is probably asleep by now. You can only hope and pray that Farleigh isn’t.

You eventually find yourself standing in front of his room. Dim light peeks through from under his door, and you sigh with relief. He’s still awake. Your decision catches up to you and you realize how stupid it is that you’re about to knock on his door. You shake your head to clear your doubt, raising your hand and gently knocking.

You hear his bed shifting and footsteps following close after. You swallow nervously, your throat suddenly feeling dry. Your heart races with anticipation as he finally opens the door.

Fuck. He’s shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on. Your eyes trail down subconsciously before you blink and look back up to his face. Is he wearing underwear?

“Hello,” He says, his grin foxlike. “I can’t sleep. Can we talk?” You ask, your voice shaky. You curse yourself for sounding nervous. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Talk about what?” He questions.

You pause, unsure of what to say next. What were you going to talk about? He would deny any feelings towards you, so what was the point of even coming here?

“Just let me in, please.” You step forward and avoid his gaze. He steps to the side wordlessly, opening the door further to let you into his room.

You breathe in the familiar scent of that candle he’s always burning, and the scent of his cologne. It’s musky and spicy, with notes of vanilla. You tried to memorize it everytime you were close to him. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking up at him as he closes the door behind him.

“Can I have a cigarette?” You ask, pointing to the pack sitting on his bedside table. He nods, and you carefully take one. He hands you the lighter.

He stares down at you as you light the cigarette, taking a drag from it. He chuckles to himself and you exhale, furrowing your eyebrows. “What’s funny?”

“You always said you hated the smell. Yet here you are, asking me for a cigarette,” He replies with a scoff. “Maybe you’re just a bad influence,” You shoot back, and his smile slightly fades.

You can see his eyes traveling down your body, lingering on your thighs and your bare legs. You had outgrown these sleep shorts, but you never cared because you figured no one would see you in them. Well, there goes that.

“Are we not going to talk about the other night?” You mutter. “What’s there to talk about?” He replies, and you roll your eyes. “Are you-” You pause and let out a frustrated breath. “Are you serious?” You exclaim angrily.

“You can’t blame it on being drunk this time, Farleigh.” You tell him, and he freezes, his gaze faltering downwards.

“Can we not talk about that? Let’s just…” He sighs with exasperation and sits next to you. You turn away from him, looking out the window. You decide not to press the issue, since it’s apparently too much for him to think about right now. Honestly, you aren’t even able to fully process what’s been going on between you two.

“Let’s just… talk,” He says finally, and you face him again, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. “Okay.” You shrug. It’s what you both do best: Talking. About anything and everything, despite the strange history of your relationship. You guessed that it was because you had known each other for so long, that it just came naturally. He’s just… real. He’s never pretending or putting on a façade, at least around you he’s not. Around the Cattons, he has to, because to them he’s just the wild child, the comedic relief, the American. You feel like you are the only one that gets to see the real Farleigh, and it feels like a privilege. But you know that’s not true, and you choose to believe it anyway.

“So… Our third year at Oxford,” Farleigh says. You let out a breath and raise your eyebrows. “Can’t believe it’s already been two years,” You both smile, thinking of all the good and bad memories you’ve made so far during your years at university.

“Can I be honest?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m scared.” You say simply. His eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” He replies. “Graduating. You know, I’ll probably go to graduate school or something, but I need to start making my own money. Get a job. Do adult things,” You sigh just at the thought of all the responsibilities. “I can’t be on a scholarship forever. Or have my parents pay forever,” You continue, shaking your head. “I’m putting them through enough as it is.”

Farleigh nods again with a look of understanding. “I might go back to the states. See my mom, maybe stay there for a while.” He says. You can’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of him being away for so long. You hate to admit it, but you would miss him.

“But we don’t have to worry about that right now. You’re too uptight. Let yourself have fun,” He nudges you softly. “I’m trying,” You mutter. “Well, you’re smoking. That’s one step closer,” He laughs a bit and you roll your eyes.

It goes quiet and you stare down into your lap. You can feel his eyes on you, and your heart begins to race with anticipation. That familiar tension returns in the air between you and Farleigh.

You look up slightly, his eyes meeting with yours. Your stomach churns as you look down to see his hand inching towards your thigh, eventually resting on top of it. “I know why you came here,” He says, his voice lowered.

You look back up to him. “What?” You whisper. “Don’t play dumb,” He shakes his head. “I’m not.” You reply, trying hard not to break the intense eye contact.

You gulp nervously and finally look away, your face giving you away and burning red. “Hmm,” He hums, his thumb brushing across your thigh. You try to distract yourself by pressing the cigarette out on the ashtray on his bedside table, watching the little flame burn out.

He gently reaches up and grabs your chin, tilting your head back towards him. He drags his thumb down your bottom lip as you stare into his eyes. He grins slightly before moving his hand to cup your cheek, leaning in closer until your noses brush together. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You know Farleigh is emotionally unavailable and toxic, and he won’t ever discuss his feelings or yours. But you can’t help but melt into the kiss, his touch, his aura. It’s like he’s magnetic, pulling you in everytime you try to pull away.

Somehow, every single time he kisses you, it’s better than the first time. Your tongues intertwine as your lips move in a perfect rhythm while both of you fall back onto his bed clumsily. One of his hands tangles in your hair, and the one that was resting on your leg moves up to rest on your waist, his fingers caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up. He eventually shifts his position so that he’s on top of you, and you turn to lay on your back underneath him.

His kisses begin to move down to your jawline, then your neck. He sucks and licks your skin so cruelly, but you don’t want him to stop. You breathe in the scent of his hair, his curls tickling your face, and you can already feel yourself becoming weak again.

You feel his hands start to trail down your body, resting on your hips, as he moves down the bed and you peer down to see him looking up at you from between your legs. Feverish heat burns across your skin just at the sight of it.

“Wait, wait. I’ve never-“ You start, suddenly feeling nervous. “It’s okay,” Farleigh replies, his eyes soft and warm as he gazes up at you. “Just relax,” He murmurs, gently pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time, shuffling them off your legs.

Just relax, you think. Easier said than done. You’ve pictured this moment so many times in the past few days, and you can’t believe it’s becoming reality.

And of all the times you’ve fantasized about this, none of them could ever do Farleigh’s beauty justice. His dark eyes are shining with something of lust and hunger, his plush lips slightly parted and his shoulders broad and golden. His curly hair is only slightly wet from his shower earlier, yet still perfectly coiled.

He looks up at you, trying to convey something through his gaze. “So pretty,” He mutters, tracing a finger along your thigh. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your stomach fluttering already.

He lifts your legs up and places them over his shoulders. Your heart pounds in anticipation and you can hear yourself breathing among the silence.

Farleigh leans down and presses a few kisses along your inner thigh, and you don’t know how much longer you can stand his teasing. You watch him gaze up at you through his lashes as he dips a finger into your wetness and you see the smirk that tugs at his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you and your face turns red. “Stop,” You cover your face with both hands, your stomach doing flips. You can’t handle how perfect he looks right now, even as he teases you for how soaked you are already.

“Hey, look at me,” He says, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. You let your hands fall back to your sides, smiling shyly. His expression turns more serious as he furrows his brows, slipping his finger inside of you. He moans before you even can, his head falling against your thigh.

That familiar stretch around his finger has your mind reeling as you throw your head back. He pulls it out and you whimper at the loss, until you feel his middle and ring finger on your clit. Your hands instinctively move to grasp the sheets as he strokes your bundle of nerves perfectly, letting your head fall back down to watch him. He continues to maintain eye contact and it makes you so weak.

Your brain almost turns to mush as you see him leaning down, his head buried between your legs. A moan louder than you intended leaves your mouth as you feel his tongue greedily licking a stripe up your pussy.

“Shit,” You huff, your chest heaving up and down. No one had ever given you head before, until now, so you didn’t really understand your girlfriends when they would tell you how amazing it felt. But now, you completely get it. His tongue moves in long, slow strokes and his pretty nose nudges perfectly against your clit.

He barely lifts his head so he can stare up at you to watch your reaction. You grind up against his face, your hand reaching down to grab a handful of his curls. He groans at the feeling before inserting a finger again, moving at the perfect pace along with his tongue. The combination is enough to make your legs shake. The lewd sounds of him lapping up your cum and both of your wanton moans echo throughout his room.

“Farleigh!” You almost scream his name before letting out a long, drawn out moan. He glances up at you once more, his pupils huge with lust. He moans against you as he absolutely devours you, adding a second finger in. His long fingers brush against that divine spot inside of you and you whimper helplessly, your other hand gripping his sheets as if it could help ground you somehow. That delicious heat builds in the base of your stomach, spreading like a fire.

“I’m gonna-“ You gasp for air, your chest heaving up and down. His eyes are half-lidded and he seems completely lost in the moment, just absolutely pussy drunk. “Let go,” He says, his voice deep and raspy.

And you do exactly that. The pleasure shoots through your veins like a drug, your grasp in his hair tightening and your hips rolling as you ride it out. You eventually come down from your high, letting your legs drop from his shoulders as you let out a shaky sigh, your heart still pounding against your ribs.

“Fuckk,” You breathe out, resting your head against the pillow. Farleigh crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you. The lower half of his face is covered in your slick, but you couldn’t care less. He kisses you passionately, desperately, groaning into your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and his tongue, and it just turns you on even more.

He pulls away, his lips hovering over yours. You look up at him and suddenly feel an indescribable desire wash over you as you stare into his deep brown eyes. It’s like you can’t get close enough to him, like you need more than everything he’s already given you. You want him inside of you. You want to feel every part of him. You want him to feel every part of you.

“Farleigh,” You whisper, reaching up to touch his face. “What is it?” He whispers back, lightly touching your own face.

“I want you,” You say. You don’t care how stupid you sound right now. This carnal desire has completely taken over you.

“In what way?” He replies, smirking smugly. “I think you know which way I mean,” You mutter. You don’t have time for his teasing, although you love it.

His expression softens and he seems to understand what you mean. “Please, I need you,” You can’t believe you’re begging for Farleigh of all people right now. You know you’ll be regretting it later. His eyes widen and he seems shocked by your confession.

“Far…” You whisper, tracing your finger along his lips. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly.

“Do you know what you do to me?” He asks, his voice soft. You look up at him and tilt your head. He takes your hand and guides it down below his waist while still looking down at you. You gasp softly when you feel that his dick is so hard underneath his sweatpants. It has to be painful. You slowly rub your hand against him and his eyebrows draw together as he stutters slightly, and it almost looks like he’s in pain.

“Baby-“ Farleigh whimpers. “Please,” You beg once again, and he nods, quickly taking his pants off and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. You look down at his dick, and you have to keep your jaw from dropping.

It’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen, and although you haven’t seen many in your lifetime, you know he would be considered above average. It’s long, with a bit of girth to it, veiny and already leaking precum from the tip. You feel yourself starting to get nervous. You aren’t sure if you could even take all of it, but hell, you’re going to try. You hope he didn’t pick up on your reaction, because you know he would tease you over it.

He places his hands on either side of your head and leans down onto his elbows. He never takes his eyes off yours as he positions himself. You wrap your legs around his waist, letting your ankles rest on his back.

He slowly begins to slide in, and you grunt quietly at the pain. He goes a bit deeper before you panic and place a hand on his lower stomach, stopping him. “I can’t-“ You wince in pain.

“Yes, you can. You can take it,” He nods and brushes the side of your face with his fingers. He takes your hand off of his stomach gently and places your arm back onto the bed. You nod in an attempt to encourage yourself, gritting your teeth to withstand the pain. You reach up to his shoulders, resting your hands on his shoulder blades, trying to keep your nails from digging into his skin as you hold onto him.

“Fuck,” Farleigh grunts as your walls grip him tightly, sucking him in. Eventually he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and you can feel every inch of him. You’re still trying to adjust to his size, and the pain is slowly subsiding as he groans and drops his head and closes his eyes. You press your hips up against his, trying to get him to start moving. “Far,” You mutter. You can tell he’s trying to hold back. He breathes heavily and opens his eyes again, gazing into yours.

“I’m ready,” You whisper. His eyebrows knit together as he rolls his hips slowly, causing your eyes to roll back and drawing a short moan out of you. He shudders, slightly pulling out of you before thrusting back in. You wonder how he’s so good at this as your nails dig crescent moons into his back with each slow thrust and roll of his hips. Your mouth falls open and you try to be quieter but it’s no use.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your face. He’s whimpering and moaning your name and other incoherent nonsense right into your ear. He sets a beautiful rhythm, his bed creaking underneath you as you sink into the plush of the mattress. You think you hear the headboard hitting the wall but you don’t care about the loud sounds you two are creating. You just don’t want this moment to end.

He looks back up to you and you can see he’s already fucked out. His eyes are even more glazed over than before and sex sweat forms on his brow. He whimpers helplessly and pants heavily. “You’re so good,” He breathes. “So, so good,” You could probably cum just from his words alone.

You let out a wanton moan as he hits that spot again, deep inside of you. “Oh, fuck!” You gasp and claw at his shoulders. He drops his head again, kissing your neck as he thrusts into you faster and deeper each time, hitting your spot over and over once he’s found it.

“Yeah, that’s it,” He groans against your neck and you feel tears brimming in your eyes. “Farleigh- It’s-“ You can’t seem to form words, your brain turned to sizzling hot liquid. “I know, I know,” He whimpers, his voice slightly higher pitched and breathless. You try to hold on longer, but you’re already coming undone as your orgasm hits you sooner than you expected. Your body stills and you clench even harder around him. He moans, that pained expression crossing his face once again. “Oh God,” He chokes out, his thrusts beginning to become less steady.

“Where should I-“ Farleigh pants. “Inside,” You tell him. You’re on birth control, but you don’t have the mental capacity to explain that to him or explain why. His hips stutter and he stiffens, finishing inside of you, the warm feeling spreading throughout your lower stomach. He collapses on top of you, his head on your chest, resting on the soft fabric of your shirt.

You’re already sleepy and physically exhausted from what just took place. You breathe in his scent one more time and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process what you just did. Then he’s wrapping his arms around you gently before pulling out of you slowly. You grunt a bit, feeling a dull ache between your legs, but you can’t help but miss the feeling of him inside of you.

He adjusts the both of you so that you’re both laying on your side, allowing you to stretch out a bit and cuddle up to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you, and for a moment, it feels like a real relationship. Something you had never experienced. Something deep. Something real. And then you remember that it’s not. After this, he will go back to avoiding you and acting like he can’t stand you. You just wish that he would put his pride away and admit to you what he really feels. But what does he really feel? Are you stupid for thinking that there’s something here?

Farleigh strokes his fingers through your hair, brushing away some of the strands plastered onto your forehead by your sweat. He seems to notice your silence.

“You’re thinking too much,” He says, his voice beautifully hoarse. You sigh, relaxing your shoulders. “Am I?” You reply, your voice weaker than you thought it would be.

“Just sleep here tonight,” He mutters, resting his chin on top of your head. You so badly want to ask him to be serious and have an actual conversation with you about your… relationship.

“Okay… but we need to talk about this,” You respond quietly. He sighs and shifts a bit, careful not to move you too much. “We can in the morning,” He says, but you know that won’t happen. You’ll just have to settle for no answers to your questions for the time being.

You curl up closer to him and let your eyes close, breathing slowly and peacefully. “Goodnight,” You murmur. “Night,” He replies, sounding just as tired as you are. You drift off to sleep in Farleigh Start’s arms.

ONE YEAR EARLIER

You were usually on okay terms with Farleigh. But you remember exactly when the dislike turned into hatred.

It was right before end of term exams and Felix convinced you to go to the pub to blow off some steam and relax after all your revising. You reluctantly agreed, then regret your decision when you saw Farleigh and Sasha there.

It was pretty far into the evening and you were beginning to get sleepy. You had spaced out for a moment, staring out the window and watching the snow fall before you heard something that peaked your interest.

“I mean, Felix, you have got to settle down,” Farleigh chuckled and nudged Sasha, pointing his cigarette at Felix.

Felix grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Listen, mate. I’ve tried.” Some other friends of his joined in with the laughter.

You sat up and leaned forward, facing Farleigh. “You’re one to comment on relationships,” You said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else sort of quieted down after hearing your words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Farleigh rolled his eyes at you and Sasha just glared. “You and Sasha. You’re dysfunctional.” You responded, unafraid to challenge him.

“Excuse me?” Sasha looked at you like you just committed a hate crime. “Yeah. He cheats on you, you cheat on him, you get back together, blah blah blah.” You took a sip of your beer and shrugged. “It’s gone on for almost a year now. It’s exhausting,”

Farleigh chuckled. “Ohh, you want to come after my relationship?” He smirked as if he was cooking up a plan in his mind of how to humiliate you best.

“Well, I bet you would like everyone to know that you lost your virginity to Joshua Brown,” Farleigh said, loud enough for even people from other tables to hear. A small chorus of gasps echoed across the room.

“You’re desperate, easy, and sloppy. You take anyone who wants you. I guess that’s what happens when you get no attention before you go to college, hm?” He just kept going, and the whole room went silent

“I’ve seen you walk out of so many dorms at six in the morning, it’s insane. You can’t even keep a fucking man,” Farleigh’s tone was harsher and colder than you’d ever heard before. Felix was staring at you in shock and Sasha was giving you that judgemental look.

You looked around to see all the pairs of eyes on you. “Fucking hell, Farleigh,” Felix muttered, shaking his head at him.

You stood up and grabbed your bag hastily, storming out of the pub with tears in your eyes. Why was he such a bitch? Why did he hate you?

Your reputation was officially ruined. All that time, he never told anyone about your situation with Joshua. Until now. He was doing so well. The whole class thought you were an innocent and pure, high achieving student, and now what would they think? You wish you didn’t care so much about how others perceive you, but you do.

You hated Farleigh. You hated him for ruining your reputation and your image. It was impossible to get him back or do something worse, since basically everyone knew he was a slut. But he got praised for it.

Ever since that night at the pub, other students would look at you sideways and whisper things about you as if you couldn’t hear them.

Fuck you, Farleigh. You decided you were officially done with him and your weird friendship. Even if that meant having to avoid him at every cost.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv

#farleigh start #saltburn #farleigh start x reader #farleigh x reader #farleigh x you #farleigh saltburn #farleigh smut

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kosmicdream · 9 months

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The FATE of FEAST FOR A KING

.. and Nasty Red Dogs…

And some other miscellaneous thoughts about comics, writing, and time.... AND ENDINGS...

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As I’m approaching 10 years on FFAK and NRD is currently 5, I’ve been reflecting a lot on How far this journey with comics has taken me and how far I still have yet to go. For those unaware, my first webcomic was actually Eggshells, which started in 2011, but i only started posting pages publicly in 2013. It too is unfinished, but its planned for 7 chapters. (I’m currently working on chapter 5, which probably will come out early next year.) I have 9 ongoing comics I’m working on. NINE!! 3 of those are FFAK related. (FFAK, After Dinner Treat, and the prequel series “Help.”) It is so many comics though. And beyond that! I have two other stories I’ve been working on for the past few years in secret, one being Nice Blue Cats, which I might still draw as a comic someday.. As well as a series of “one shots” that is meant to be its own collection. Slugmom and “The Teacher & The Fairy” are part of these one shot collections. Which, uh, it was designed to help me practice writing short stories. Which TT&TF is now going to be three parts long, and roughly 300 pages. So I guess that’s short enough…? Ha.. laughs… Anyway, as I was saying.. Sometimes I’m sure, readers might wonder. “Do you ever feel overwhelmed, with so many projects Kosmic?” Yeah dude. I sure fucking do. I got 9 of them! That’s more than a full pokemon team of projects that are potentially a decade + of work. A couple of them already are a decade old/older at this point. (Praeymoon is actually one of my oldest-lasting projects, even tho its first chapter only finally released in 2023.. I first attempted to draw ch1 back in 2016, but was unable to finish it and scrapped the “full color” angle i was trying then. ) All my current ongoing comic projects are as follows: Feast for a King, Nasty Red Dogs, Eggshells, The Teacher & the Fairy, Replacer, The Eyes of Miasma, FFAK: After Dinner Treat, FFAK: Help, are all written. The only one which isnt fully written is Praeymoon, which I don’t mind because the way that story is organized is almost more of a sandbox-fantasy world of mini stories. I’ll be honest, if you havent heard of Replacer or The Eyes of Miasma, I don’t blame you- its not that i don’t like those stories. They just kind of are the “most neglected” comics yet I’m also kind of amazed they exist at all, like I DONT know how I found the time to draw over 100 pages for both of them. They also have fully written outlines and all things considered, are probably only going to be under 400-500 pages in length. But that’s still a decent amount of work there. Its been ten years since I more or less started making webcomics… and as I plan, and try to calculate all my projects for the next 10 years, my main priority at the moment is well.. Finishing all of these fucking stories one way or another. Its hard! I don’t know if I can as I put way too much on my plate. But at the same time like.. Whatever. I could easily drop most of them, if I felt inclined to - but I don’t. They are my library of work, and I’ve sort of made an artist oath to myself that I will see as many of them to the end as I can. I’m excited that three are very close to its end. (Nasty Red Dogs, The Teacher & the Fairy, and Eggshells.) After that well.. I’ll see what I can cross off my list next once I get there.. That’s still going to take years to get those done. But hopefully not too many.

[Spoilers for potential LENGTHS of FFAK/NRD.. And other things.. I speak very transparently about writing and working on comics here AND including my thoughts on ENDINGS.. You’ve been warned]

I’m comfortable enough sharing that the fairy comic is 3 parts, Eggshells is 7 chapters, but when it comes to FFAK/NRD.. Its much harder to give an estimate, or if sharing those things will only be disappointing or annoying to hear about.. If you have ever been around me for more than 10 minutes, i am constantly talk about the “length left” on these projects a lot anyway. At night, i count them in my head. In the day, I write little lists as if I’ve forgotten the names of them.. They are MY LIST.

But for those who do not know and wish to, NRD is likely going to end with 10 chapters. I have extended this in the past, so it could still change.. but it only really has gotten “longer” due to pacing of scenes rather than the actual content. And Honestly, it was paced out specifically to avoid this next chapter. Not that I didn’t want to draw it, its because i was Scared to do it.. Why? Because there’s cars I have to draw in it. And dogs. I have drawn those things before, at least once or twice. But I do not enjoy drawing cars or dogs. Dogs are okay now, but i hate that they have legs. Dont give me references, i have those. Its just how my brain is, with those fuckign legs and how there’s four of them. I know practice makes perfect. Or do-able. I have drawn amost 1000 pages of NRD, i dont remember how they bend and i’ve forgiven myself for knowing there’s just some things god cannot do, which is to give kosmic the ability to look at a dog leg and understand. Anyway. Because of this reason, somehow, finishing NRD with it only possibly being 4 more chapters, still feels harder than finishing ALL of FFAK - which (drumroll) might be .. only around 10 or 12 chapters left. Yes, you heard me- for the second AND third arc. 10 or 12 more. Will that also change? Probably!!!!!! Like, yes… its been 9 years and I’ve completed a lot more than just 10 chapters of comics in that time.. But wrapping up a story is way harder and I dont know what that’s like..yet! But i feel still confident that i will. I mean, i don’t really have any other choice than to experience it. I used to recoil and fall apart just emotionally contemplating finishing FFAK. my FUCKING baby. My joy. You mean that has to end?? NEVER. My attachment to it and the characters was incomparable to anything else I had done, and in my mind ever WILL make… (and that is still true.) But.. I’m okay with that now and I actually look forward to seeing how it could end up. Even if its bad!

Its kind of weird to say, I just don’t really think it will be.. super good? Like.. it could be? I don’t know how readers will react. I dont even know how I feel about the whole thing.. I have felt so many feelings about this comic already, now I’m kind of.. Past it in a new stage. Zen like peace almost. There’s just.. so much that I wanted to PUT in FFAK and so much i could STILL put in. But I kind of just am okay with what i wrote, does that even make sense? The whole comic has felt like such a fluke to me, from the very start. And I managed to accidentally make so many great things in it I don’t actually understand sometimes. And my dreams for the comic has been nearly limitless. I couldn’t possibly contain all the feelings I’ve had over this story over the many years I have been making it, and all the incredible narrative outcomes I could see the characters going in.. the possibilities, the parallels.. The anime music videos.. I would NOT compare my writing style to GRRM, I haven’t read his books. but I can’t help but feel a bit like a weird baby version of him with the amount of cast members I have to push around and draw.. And I want to be clear. If FFAK was written as a book, it wouldn’t happen. I cannot write books. I do not think writing books is easier/faster than making comics, but sometimes it is hard to have to draw everyone. Point is, I understand the reality of a long-term comic project now, I have numbers and logs to prove it and my range. And I’m fairly consistent, even in my low days. So.. in recent years my writing style has.. has changed to accommodate.. Those.. General Realities i’ve observed in myself.

That’s why the second arc excites me. It has a lot of uhh, urgency that underlies it. You might have already noticed a change in the tone in chapter 16, which I’ve been working on for almost a year now. (I mean, I’ve been working on the written version for.. LOL.. much longer.) Maybe you haven’t! It could all just be from my own POV with how differently i feel that I delegate time to characters now. I did not start “writing” FFAK until chapter 10, and then i did not really start WRITING writing ffak until about.. Honestly, i want to say as late as 2019. It TOOK SO LONG you guys. I dont even know how many fucking thousands of pages of madness word documents I’ve got, with revision after revision and trying to list, contain, every possibly plotline… character backstory.. Blah blah blah.. Ive cut it down so much its impressive only to me. I don’t remember my lore anymore , and i love it. My readers probably know my lore better, and I don’t love it. Except when it benefits me. Then Its good. I would not describe myself as a RUTHLESS cut THROAT author, im actually too way sentimental to really let go of anyone. That’s why it took me so long to kill off Rock, but also because I wanted spoon to look really sexy and evil and that’s hard to do sometimes when I cant remember what half side he is. And when he was flipping around, I had to actually make a paper doll for him so i could TRY .. TRY to draw his arm on the correct side. Sometimes I didn’t. I just let it go if the drawing is good enough and i let it be a fun game for the readers to catch. But anyway, That’s why characters like Aeschylus are still around. Now that time has passed, I kind of regret it. Rome was right.. I dont need Aeschylus here and I’m mad he brought his friend Randall too. That being said, they’re some of my favorite characters in this arc even if they’re totally useless. In general, i have tried my best to not repeat all my writing sins and all my regrets of arc 1. I would not have been able to do this without the help of NRD to help get me to see that I can get attached and motivated to write new stories. When I hit my writing block in 2016/2017, it almost broke FFAK. FFAK still continued, but it also didn’t. But i was patient, and i worked through it.. And now I look forward to the ends of my comics, not because I want them to end but I’m very deeply excited for all the new opportunities my imagination to go to. I don’t know what that will be like. I don’t know how long it will still take me to get there, but I have it on [digital] paper and it does feel good to see that. Its affirming. I feel like i have a clear mission and I feel strong enough to really do it and commit to it. The second arc has barely started but in my heart I’ve made peace with the ending, whatever it might actually result as.

Plus if I finish it and its so bad, I’m sure that will be inspiring in itself! People might actually write fanfics!! I think a lot of readers are NOT going to enjoy the ships, for one. The MEAN greedy part of me hopes they don’t. That’s the most ruthless part of my writing to me is the ship choices. Oh! My evil mind. I mean theres no possible way to please everyone, or even myself, but there is a possible way to displease a lot of people. Including myself. So that’s kind of the route I find myself drawn to. Why? Because it gets me out of the hole of like.. I dunno, being stuck.

I used to write out a lot of big posts but over the years, I’ve kinda stopped. Mostly bc they were honestly really repetitive..or about lore that didn’t truly matter too much… That hasn’t really changed. This post is more or less “im still working on it, everyone! Just hang tight! Wow it’ll be a crazy wild ride” but it also is something I wanted to write to myself as words of encouragement. This has been a tough year. Like so tough that its hard to think about. But its very nice to feel like, i guess, my drive for my stories hasn’t gone anywhere. If anything, i really feel like i’ve gone through the mourning and ego death of “not being able to write a thing how you want” and now I’ve made total peace with it. Its just gonna be what it is, and I like that actually. When my life is tough, my comics at the moment serve as a place of hope for me - and assurance that I can survive through tough years. That’s the message they have ultimately given me, finished or not. And… I honestly don’t think of FFAK or NRD as my masterpieces or anything, but i know they might very well be the only stories people will know of when they think of me. If they think of me! So I wanna do a complete job with those. Rest assured, it’ll get there. I cant make big promises about all the comics I work on… even the bonus comics for FFAK, but at least those main two are my main priorities. That has not changed. THE FIRE is still in me. Even if FFAK took a like.. Mental.. 5 year hiatus its back baby.

I’m about 30 pages in to my 50 page script for chapter 16, so I guess it’ll be around 300-400 pages more before its done. Things are picking up speed! So it could be less. I am also preparing for the monster that is the 7th nasty red dogs chapter. I cannot stress ENOUGH that this next chapter, I have put off since chapter 4. Yes, I’ve actually buffed the story out to be longer than it intended, just to avoid drawing it. I even put a horse guy in there, I never draw horses because those ALSO have legs but they’re worse than dog legs. And, its not that i didn’t want to draw this part of the comic! But I didn’t think i could do it. It intimidated me. It still does, but, I’m gonna do it already. I know chapters 8-10 will be hard too but like…eh… I know in my heart its gonna really be about 7 for me. It always has been about 7 to me.. 2024 will be a big year for my comics for sure, just because of that alone I think. Not only will I have chapter 16 done, as the first step of the 2nd arc and a new adventure of my apocalyptic wormy drama, I’ll be facing my fears of the dog variety. Its TIME.

I’m so happy people have stuck around for my work, or shared it with others, even if they’re a strange mess. Its interesting to see, who comes and goes. I still enjoy refreshing my comments every morning when I wake up, and right before I go to bed. Its comforting.

My closing thoughts on this. I don’t HATE the ending of FFAK. I… like it! Its an ending. But I LOVE the ending to NRD. i think that ones legit good, i hope. With FFAK, part of me kinda hopes that turning up the pressure on myself of proceeding anyway will help the story. I don’t really know, or expect the ending to change though LOL…. Maybe i’ll come up with something better, but it will be too late so I cant do it or something, and then we can ALL write fanfics together of something else. Then sometimes I think about GUNNM and how the first ending was retconned but then last order was like? Basically the first ending again? I dont know actually, its hard to remember. THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BTW. Also the ending is not everyone dies, even though that ending is fun and tempting. I didn’t do it, because end of evangelion already exists and its got a great song to go along with it too. YES it is also tempting to have someone go “WELL That was A FEAST.. For a KING” as the like final line, but I.. it wont wont. I prommy i take the ending seriously.

The reason I wanted to write all this, with webcomics, I think in general too people are so scared about writing their big comics that take 328523895235 years and the ending being bad. I see so many webcomics just, kinda die before the finale.. Which I totally understand, But I just.. Wanna show everyone that its much better and much more satisfying to just write the ending even if its a fucking disaster LOL. Because ultimately, its a webcomic. I don’t even know how to spell but people read mine! And so.. If theres anything I feel like i can promise and deliver to the world of the internet/my readers, is this big fucking disaster mess.. But it will end someday! And I’ll miss it. I hope readers will too, when that day comes (?) in probably another… 10 years…. idk.... BUT UNTIL THEN.. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of chapter 16!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kosmic Dream

#ffak #feast for a king #nasty red dogs #long post #webcomics

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writingquestionsanswered · 8 months

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been talking to a friend who's a creative by profession and i confided to them that recently i felt like my writing's been doing poorly and they suggested that i try to think of how to improve it. so i reread some of my old stuff and i feel awful bc sometimes it looks like my prev self was doing better OR it looked like i havent made any improvements in writing at all. i know it's unrealistic to think the latter but how do i compare my current skill with my past skills objectively?

Writing Improvement/Reviewing Old Writing

Honestly, if you're concerned about writing improvement, I don't see a benefit in revisiting old writing or in comparing past writing with current writing. The point isn't to measure how far you've come... the point is to see where you are now and see what needs improvement now.

It is very, very difficult to objectively critique your own writing. And honestly, critiquing any writing objectively is difficult, whether it's yours or someone else's. That's why it's so important to get opinions from a variety of qualified people... other writers in a writing group, a writing coach/teacher, beta readers, critique partners, editors... by weighing different qualified opinions against each other, you can get an idea of where you need improvement. If one or two people out of five or six say your character development is weak, that's probably nothing to worry about. If three out of five feel that way, it's probably something you want to work on. The more opinions you seek, the easier it will be to see your strengths and weaknesses and know where to focus your improvement efforts.

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nrc-confessions · 6 months

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Okay here’s the whole story I apologize greatly for how long this is

So today I was cooking lunch for myself at Scarabia, (I sometimes have to cook for myself if the cafeteria doesn’t have any of my safe foods that day) and I heard someone enter the kitchen. The dorm was mostly empty so I expected it to just be some other Scarabia student I’ve never met or smth

Lo and behold, it wasn’t, it was Kalim

Me and him share a class idk if I’ve said that (new spider anon lore 🤯) and he’d gotten injured during P.E this morning so I figured he was at the dorm as well, but I assumed he’d be in his room. It wasn’t anything bad he just fell off his broom and got kinda bruised up but Jamil was still flipping his shit

ANYWAY I finished cooking and ended up sharing some food w Kalim (side note he’s eaten my food before and I’m always rlly touched abt it bcuz Ik he struggles w eating food that Jamil didn’t cook and just knowing he trusts me that much is hnnnnnng) and once we finished eating he asked if I wanted to go carpet flying

I knew he was exempt from class bcuz he got hurt but I still very much had to go to class around this time, but I was not about to miss this opportunity so alchemy be damned

We’ve gone carpet flying once or twice before but from what I understand Kalim takes rlly anyone he feels like carpet flying (including paw anon fuck you calliope I havent forgiven you) so I didn’t think too much of it but at this point I was already gay panicking so this didn’t help

Anyway we get on the carpet n all that and I was kinda starting to zone out of a few reasons, the main being i have a slight fear of heights and I was kinda exhausted cuz I’ve had a tough past couple weeks but I was also zoning out bcuz I tend to do that while in close proximity to kalim

So I went kinda quiet and just hoped he’d keep talking and wouldn’t notice (also bcuz I love listening to him ramble) but he went quiet after a second too and then asked if I was okay, and I quickly said I was fine and went back to being silent but he didn’t keep talking so it was kinda awkward for a second THEN HE FUCKIN “are you sure you’re okay, habibi?” And I almost fell off the carpet

I made a comment abt how I was just rlly tired and ended up kinda rambling then I rambled a bit too far and said like ‘and you know how I get around you’ but I laughed it off and hoped he didn’t notice but he DID and HE TOOK IT THE WEONF WAY cuz he assumed that meant I didn’t like being around him??? And so I tried to elaborate without outing myself which was rlly hard and I think he caught on but he didn’t say anything so I just kept talking and digging myself a deeper hole but then (this is where I get really pathetic) I looked at him and he just had the most gentle patient expression on his face and I just started sobbing bcuz no one’s ever looked at me like that and i can’t properly process my emotions NORMALLY much less when it’s him then he kinda panicked a little bit but then he hugged me out of nowhere and I was NOT okay but I also kinda needed it so I just kinda sat there and cried into his shoulder for a few minutes and he was like whispering things some of it was in English some of it was in Arabic and I don’t know if it was making me cry harder or helping but he was like running his fingers through my hair and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I completely lost grasp of my emotions and ended up saying I love you without even realizing it then as soon as I realized it I panicked and let go of the hug and apologized but he just put his hands on my face and looked at me with his pretty fucking eyes and said it was okay and I lost all ability to breathe

Anyway he kinda like came closer and I was expecting him to hug me again but then he like moved his hand to my shoulder and used the other one to move my hair out of my face and I just completely lost it everything I did from here on is a blurry haze I was fueled by exhaustion and Gay panic but I lunged forward and kissed him AND HE KISSED BACK AND PUT HIS HANDS IN MY HAIR AND I STARTED CRYING AGAIN but then he brought thr carpet back down and I ran off to class and I’m currently typing this while half listening to Crewel yell at me but uh that happened

-🕷️

Thank you for your confession!

#posted by: 🌿#nrc confessions #unreality #nrc confession #twst #night raven college #kalim al asim #anon: 🕷️

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anotherhellchild · 2 years

Text

Old WIP

soo I know I havent been active in like forever BUT! I've slowly been getting back into bnha :)) ... I finally watched the latest movie and im almost up to date on the manga

anyways I had this idea for a fic like two years ago and I've decided its time I share it cause I don't think ill ever actually write it lol (mostly cause im just not motivated but also cause I lost the draft I had for it) keep in mind that I thought about this like two years ago tho so all the recent manga/anime developments never happend (also mentions of bad parent Mitsuki ahead)

it was gonna be a kid Katsuki fic where Bakugou got hit by a quirk that basically made him 10 years younger (so he’d be 6). And the ‘rules’ to this quirk were the following:

- whoever gets hit by the quirk instantly turns into themselves from 10 years ago

- but like. exactly themselves from exactly 10 years ago. so they'd have the exact memories and body they had at the exact time of day just 10 years in the past.

- so for example if u got hit with the quirk at 3:23pm on the 10th of august 2022 you’d turn into the version of yourself from 3:23pm on the 10th of august 2012 and if you were hungry or thirsty at that time in 2012 you'd still be hungry or thirsty when you appear in 2022 (this is rlly vague but hopefully it makes some sense lmao)

-also say you were playing outside at that time, you'd suddenly be super confused as to where you were and what was happening etc.

- its kinda like the person hit by the quirk rewinds exactly 10 years. does that make sense(?).

- after exactly 24 hours the person hit with the quirk ‘ages’ (or I guess ‘fasts forward’) exactly a year. so 3:23pm august 10th 2012 kid turns into 3:23pm august 11th 2013 kid. cause its a day later.

- they age by exactly a year every 24 hours until they reach they're actual age again. so it takes exactly 10 days for the quirk to wear off.

- whenever they age up again, they have no memory of the day before

those were the basic rules to the quirk and I can't remember if there was anything else to it but yeah (lmk if it made no sense ill try to explain better)

so in my fic I was gonna have Katsuki get hit by the quirk (obviously). and it was gonna be part of my Bakugou Katsuki is class 1a’s big brother - change my mind series which means that id have Katsuki already adopted by Aizawa and part of the Aizawa-yamada household. (Hitoshi, Shoto and Eri also part of the fam of course) but the adoption process was gonna either not be over yet or at least super recent and the extent of Katsuki’s past and abuse was not gonna be known by anyone. also I like hawks so I think I had Baku as hawks’ intern in this

I believe I had already written the first scene where I was gonna have Miruko, hawks and Bakugou out on patrol fighting some villains and then Bakugou getting hit by the quirk. (I forgot the password I need to get to the draft tho💀, so I can't share it with you guys at the moment)

anyways, I thought the idea had a lot of potential cause I was gonna have everyone see how Katsuki aged from a 6yo to a 16yo over the course of 10 days. and I was gonna make it that his ‘past selves’ that ‘appear’ had just been kidnapped or something or had a lot of buises or hadn't eaten in however long and then all of a sudden they find themselves in a room full of (to them) strangers who he obviously doesn't trust. everyone was gonna see first hand how messed up Katsuki’s childhood was. and in the meantime Katsuki was just gonna be trying to figure out whether he could trust these people or how he could escape them.

it was gonna be a lot of trauma and fun!

oh and I was gonna make it that when he initially got attacked by the quirk, it would've coincidentally be exactly 9 days away from the anniversary of when the sludge villain attacked him. meaning that his 14yo self (that would've showed up on day 9 of the quirk) was gonna happen to be in the middle of being choked by sludge whilst the quirk hit which would make it that (to him) it'd feel like he’d be fighting sludge one second and then he’d suddenly be in front of a whole class of UA students the next.

I had all these ideas for the fic that I can elaborate on if anyones interested! but I mostly just wanted to share this cause I started thinking about my old WIPs recently and thought it'd be fun to talk about them!

feel free to send me any asks about this if you want! maybe ill try to look for my old headcanons and wips if anybody’s interested

#bakugou katsuki headcanons #katsuki bakugou #abusive Bakugo Mitsuki #there was gonna be lots of dadzawa #and eri hitoshi shoto and baku as siblings #and Katsuki and hawks #kidnapped bakugou #that was for sure gonna be a thing too lol #don't remember how much I was gonna have Aizawa discover about that tho #cause I had another wip that went into the whole #Bakugou Katsuki gets kidnapped a lot headcanon #abused Katsuki bakugou #class 1a #Bakugou Katsuki is 1a's big brother #kid katsuki

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rhytmrocket · 9 months

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uh, sorry, again

i won’t even get into it, but i hid again for another week

sorry

one thing i did do was a year-end art review/compilation! do people still do that?

well, i did.

oughhh so much of this i havent shared and it feels kinda weird doing it

there’s gonna be so much in this post i’ll be surprised if i even get it out by midnight (it’s nearly half past 11 atm)

so first i’ll give you the template if you’d like so you dont have to scroll through all my rambling

next, a bit of reflection (theatre and chorus, dont fail me now)

overall, i think i’ve improved a Lot. like, i can’t stand to look at my earlier art, which i think is a sign of improvement! overall, i’ve been refining my style, i think, cuz my stuff’s pretty generally similar, just tweaked a bit to make it more bearable— i mean good. one thing i do want to improve on, at least initially, is fucking flipping the canvas once in a while. i actually did that in a piece i’ll share in just a bit, and i think it was a good result— i’m already getting used to it, like, it’s actually not that hard, just a bit frustrating sometimes. it helps with the balance and versatility— the flipability of a piece is very valuable. my strongest aspect was probably the rendering. ive always had fun with it, and when i actually try it looks, let’s just say, fucking awesome. i’m pretty good! keep telling myself that! and keep telling yourself that. there’s always some good stuff in most any drawing. love you, beginner artists

you know, as much as it physically hurts to look at old art, looking back at newer pieces makes me feel so good about myself. like, that was me, and now this is me! that’s so cool, isn’t it?

look at old art every once in a while. and not just drawing— writing, painting, sculpting, cooking, composing, playing an instrument, singing, acting— really anything at all! look at your old stuff just to see how far you’ve come. and feel good about that! you deserve it!

#i have no fucking idea how to tag this.#artists on tumblr #???? maybe #but yeah! sorry for getting all sappy at the end #but hey its only 11:42 now! didnt take all that long

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cosmicdream222 · 7 months

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im literally kicking myself in the foot for not doing something more worthwhile with my existance... i never knew of manifesting until recent years and while society likes to say its never too late sometimes it feels like that is it too late cause to learn any skill you have to have already learnt the techniques then have good practice abilities on top of it, like you cant just waltz into a sport for instance and take a gold medal you have to do it step by step but to do that again im fucking regretting so much rn cant i just bash my head into a wall and slowly die? or music for instance cant just pick an instrument and be good at it right off the bat again shouldve just fucking picked something and stuck with it

also i never had the likes of tiktok or anything internet for entertainment when i was a kid so in a way it shouldve been perfect chance to really do smth but as always situations got in the way and im regretting existing a lot rn. like why so many ppl so good at their niches or whatever it is they choose to do and theres so much more available now than there was back then but i cant seem to pick a single damned thing that i could realistically do at my age and still feel accomplished bc id just end up feeling behind or regretting not doing it sooner

sorry for ranting abt myself there just if only there was time machine or a literal realistic way of shifting to another damned reality cause this aint it like why im wasting so much of it doing fck all? it should be shameful honestly but like at the same time its kind of impossible with current economy being so crappy

for instance if u want to own a business (which i would do if i could even afford one with my own money but then u got to ha e the job and the know how on running it) seriously my ancestors had so many more things that were successful in their lives and some did have businesses bc shops were affordable back then, education used to be affordable too and housing etc etc. id be more inclinced to then have a family of my own if that were the case but it is not soooooooooooooo then its like even if you want a bog standard job it can still take months just to get something basic. i once did manage to manifest a free bus ride and my teacher not coming to college for a few days but thats abt it. other than that lifes kinda average sadly its not the 1950s and elvis is still dead asf.............. not fair

the other thing that puzzles me and sorry for making this so long but if we are supposed to have had past lives a) why havent we known about it before now and b) how come some celebs dont reincarnate or do the celebs that pass away just get a free pass to heaven and decide to stay put? (in which case i wont blame them but its also not fair that i have to still exist... or fail to exist i should say)

My dude, I understand where you’re coming from and I have been where you are. But you say you wish there was a way to travel back in time or shift realities - there IS a way to shift realities, travel back in time, and live whatever kind of life you want. Seriously. That is the whole reason I created this blog!! So please read through all the information I’ve collected instead of just complaining ok? 😭

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter. Past lives only exist if you believe they do.

Look around tumblr at void, loa and shifting success stories. I have shared many of my favorites. People in very difficult circumstances have regularly completely change their lives overnight, wake up in new houses, shift to alternate realities, change their genders, change their ages, bring people back from the dead, to say the very least.

None of it matters because we live in the literal matrix - a VR simulation - and you can have anything you want NOW.

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satsuha · 8 months

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same anon again! thank you for looking into it 🤍 i havent been following you very closely (im not a fan of social media at all (hence the use of anon) so i mostly just check in and lurk every now and again to see your adorable art) - i fully thought you were japanese; sorry for that misunderstanding!! so cool of you to cross-reference nonetheless :)

yeah, i only ever read gil’s compliments as being purely impressed and appreciative, never attracted. but then when hikari copies him, suddenly it’s read as romantic attraction?! i will never understand these things. but again, i’m biased lmao

i loved their shared path, i found it super cute and i love the idea of this incredibly sweet dancing girl helping guide hikari through the losses his kingdom suffered. the memorial in ku was delightful to watch. this is why i’m of the opinion that forcing romance between them actively takes away from both of their characters, because it stops those individual traits from shining.

i don’t really ship anyone else in octo2, i love temehika because i adore the dynamic of ‘guy who has unwavering loyalty and trust in those around him’ with ‘guy who doubts everything and is constantly scrutinising their partner’s friends behind their back’. you’re the one who introduced me to agnea/throné, i hadn’t considered it before but i do love a good ‘Ray Of Sunshine meets Dark Shadowed Past and they go shopping together’ vibe, so i’ve decided i support that ship too now. thanks for that one!!

p.s, so glad there’s someone who understands my frustrations about the hikari/agnea ship lol we are Connecting

no worries! i wish there was someone more qualified to talk about the differences between the english and japanese versions because there are quite a few (some i'm ok with, others.... not so much) but some of them feel like a genuine detriment to play without knowing the original so i want to share them if i can!!

yeah it's...... a little iffy that people would read hikari's compliment as purely romantic because that would imply that gil is giving the same vibe and i read agnea's response as more like shock that someone as serious as hikari would say something like that to her...

i have a very mixed opinion about their crossed paths story unfortunately 😭 i really like the story itself, but i wish agnea had a more significant part in it... compared to the other stories that feel like they brought out the characteristics of each character more, i feel like agnea was mostly reduced to a bystander in hikari and yomi's story... i wish they got to touch on her grief over her mother or something at least o<-<

AHH temehika's dynamic really is so underrated, they have such strong themes of trust and doubt and i'm a bit sad their banters didn't touch on this more... we got a smidgen in hikari's ch.4 where temenos warns him about rai mei's possible loyalties but it's not enough...! not to mention the fact that they're connected to oboro and arcanette, the most major figures in the moonshade order... i don't really like the idea of octopath making certain protagonists more "important" than the others but i find it really hard to deny for these two lmao

agnene is also extremely underrated!! i think agnea's admiration of throne helps show her that she isn't who she thinks she is:

while in throne's stories, she slowly grows to lean on agnea's attempts to make her feel better... it's really sweet and i don't think either of them have this kind of connection with anyone else...!

it's also very cute how agnea invites throne to meet her father as well as to her hometown's raspberry festival... i think their paths post-canon also align very nicely because throne said she wanted to travel somewhere far away, while agnea wants to bring smiles to as many people as possible... it also makes for a very nice "celebrity and bodyguard" dynamic that mirrors dolcinaea and veronica's and it really suits these two imo!!

i also don't like teme/thro as a romantic relationship so i think their interactions as well as hika/agne's fit much better under the assumption of temehika and agnene... we see hikari's admiration of temenos' intelligence in his ch.5 banter where he compares temenos to kazan so i think both he and agnea have a sense of admiration for their older partners while also doing whatever they can to support them... (hikari with his blade, and agnea with her performances) meanwhile temenos and throne also feel undeserving of their partners because they view them as a light they're too afraid to reach out to... it's subtler, but i like temenos' banters with her where he tries to reassure her that she's a good person as well

phew this got REALLY long i'm sorry but yeah while i always tend to go against popular ships, i've been really frustrated at the extent of it in octopath 2... octopath is pretty unique in that all of the protagonists get more or less the same amount of (small) interactions throughout the game but that was changed in 2 with the addition of crossed paths and i'm not sure why hika/agne is the one that stuck because their story does not read to me as romantic at all lmao but i'm glad to find people who share those gripes as well!!

i think it says a lot how temehika and agnene's post-canon lives align together very nicely because hikari and agnea's goals respectively are much more defined while temenos and throne are more equipped to take a more supportive role... (crying) i just really like them

#answered #anonymous #ship hate #agnene #<- no one uses this tag anyway but i want to put it here bc i explained why i like it a lot #ty again for the ask! i hope you don't mind ME rambling too much lmao its a lot

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tea-with-evan-and-me · 8 months

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Do you also think that the hype around Evan has decreased a bit? A few fan accounts on IG are not posting any more or it has decreased significantly. Some fans have moved on. A year ago it was different:( I don't know…maybe I'm just imagining it.

Well yes. First of all, a lot of ppl who became fans during the dahmer hype moved on to other things that are trending. That's what always happens and ngl I am that person too, I get fixated on things and then I get bored and move on. Also bcs of that I'm always in multiple fandoms. But Evan have been my man for 4 years and doesn't seem to be going away.

Another thing is, Evan isn't really "active" celebrity. He's not on social media anymore, we didn't had a project with him besides a few moments of his voice in wish since 2022, he's just now working on a movie. And unless the rumors about his cameos in upcoming marvel movies are true, we probably won't be seeing him on our screens for a while. He also doesn't do photoshoots, interviews, go to events and if we get a low quality photo of him every two months, its a blessing. We get NO content, he's shooting a movie rn, and we havent seen anything yet lmao. Realistically speaking, there isn't anything for people outside the fandom to be hyped about 😭 People often talk about Quicksilver and Tate is always trending in the fall but that's not enough for ppl to talk about him all year round.

Also the thing with Evan is that he doesn't seem to like that. He was probably shitting his pants from how much attention he was getting from Dahmer. So he won't be doing anything to keep people's attention on him. Nothing's stopping him from doing a pap walk here and there, but he couldn't care less and it sucks for us but oh well! And we chose to be a fan of this man, we could've picked another white boy who does 3 movies a year and is attending events every week, but nope, we chose a caveman. We can only blame ourselves 😆😆

yup. i can’t complain because i’ve chosen to be here all these years 🙃 so i take what i can get. for me there’s an appeal to liking and following a celebrity who doesn’t blast their every moment of life onto social media. we’ve developed a totally different expectation the past 5+ years that only increases, as far as our expectation of what a modern celebrity shares. evan isn’t like that, even when he was on social media he was not super connected and posting frequently.

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clonesupport · 2 years

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honest confessions - the thief and the liar

it’s dawned on me that not a lot of a lot of people know about max and ronnie’s shared soft moments or just actually how melancholy their relationship is. maybe that’s another lore thing that i made and never talked about but assumed i did lol like their playlist is like 50% self deprecating love songs and ronnie’s playlist is even more depressing TwT

if you’re curious about ronnie’s past that i mention and you have no idea what i’m talking about here’s a link to a post i made about it. it’s old and i’ve changed probably quite a few things but it gives you a general idea of how tf she got herself in the timeline and setting of tow

i havent exactly thought of where in the time line the big heart to heart happens but i know it happens when they’re well into their relationship. post ronnie being angry at max about chaney that’s one thing. they often talk a lot, or mostly ronnie is good at talking about her feelings when the two of them are alone. she always ends up opening past wounds and sobbing about some suppressed emotions she’d forgotten about since her life got flipped inside out. she hasn’t exactly had time to let herself settle with everything. and max listens, offers her his condolences though mostly just lets her speak. he can tell she’s someone who needs to have her guts spilled when it comes to personal issues or else letting them fester and bottle up will only make her feel an unbearable weight of distress and anger. and he’d be right to think so.

this specific talk happens when the two of them are alone in ronnie’s captain quarters. they’ve shared a drink perhaps, it’s later in the evening and they’re lost in topics chatting about anything and everything that flowed. eventually max asks ronnie about her past. all he knew was she’d come from a couple centuries before her 70 years frozen on the hope. he knew they weren’t the prettiest memories but the idea slipped from his lips before he could catch himself from prying. ronnie didn’t mind, she thought she could take it as she proceeded to answer what life was like in the 21st century. she babbles fondly of the good old days, though one thing leads to another she finds herself at the foot of the inevitable topic of her late fiancé.

she keeps going, she wanted him to know about her past, about who she was. why she was so afraid to commit herself to max in the first place when they first brought up the topic of dating. she’d always had trust and commitment issues but everything fortified when she went through what she’d been through. losing her fiancé before her eyes the way she did set her heart cold.

she tells him about the man she loved, the man she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with. the more the memories came back the more they hurt. tears found themselves involuntarily falling past her lashes and streaking down her cheeks in silence as she told her solemn history. max listened and watch with the most devastatingly gutted sensation in his stomach. he hadn’t known she’d been through so much. he definitely didn’t know she had a fiancé let alone what happened to him. knowing the ronnie he knew now, he would’ve never guessed she’d have ever been the type to have a spouse to be.

with every emotional word that spilled from her lips his heart sank more and more. listening to the details of her memories, to the rasp in her voice and the pauses in her breath as she tried to keep herself from breaking down. had he known the story would be so traumatic he would have never even considered questioning her about her past to begin with.

“i loved him,” her voice quivered as her eyes falling from his, gazing off to the side as tears welling and falling freely. her face contorted attempting to control the many sorrowful emotions within her, “i was gonna marry him.” her eyes looked back to his, his heart breaking at the sight as her control cracked letting out a sob before she breathed in a shaky breath. “it happened so fast… i couldn’t even tell him i loved him before….” her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes, eyes darting around beneath her lids as if playing back the memory in her head. “they killed him like he was nothing and took me like a prize.”

they’ve had many moments like this, but none this impactful to the both of them but especially to max. after this talk he saw her in a whole new light. everything changed from the way he viewed her brashness, to the way he perceived her snark. he now knew where it all came from. the story behind her personality, the trust issues, the intense hatred for his betrayal. he thought she reacted so strongly to him using her to get to chaney as some childish response of putting too much blind faith into a stranger but oh how wrong he was.

she hated him to using her because she felt like once again she’d lost a partner. she lost the trust and she needed that trust like a lifeline. without him by her side she wouldn’t be able to tackle life with her head screwed on right. she’d lose track of everything, of herself. she felt for his betrayal so strongly because if he really did use her and their relationship so selfishly then that meant she once again had no one. no one to guide her through the mess in her mind, the hurricane of emotions she’d suppressed with no one to guide her to shore. she couldn’t stand the thought of being alone again, she’d lost too much.

he saw the reasoning behind her ways, her choices, even the way she spoke. her words held a whole knew meaning with this newly unlocked understanding. but most importantly her habits towards him. the reason she held him so close in their tender and quiet moments. the reason why she told him so sincerely each time that she loved him, her eyes boring into his with an ocean of emotions swimming within them. the reason why she always seemed so sad when she did so, saying those three words with every ounce of bittersweet melancholy she held, brows furrowed and hands gripping him tight. why she’d always stand close to him, always touch him in some way, how each time she had the chance she’d steal a kiss from him. it was because she was afraid that at any moment she’d lose him. that any gaze, any kiss, any words of endearment could be her last. and each time she cherished it like it was the most valuable bounty in the world. she wouldn’t let this one slip away.

#ship: the thief and the liar #my oc: ronnie kana #vicar max #anywayyyyy #ronnie and max are actually a really sad ship lol #50% sex #50% sad #max is ronnie’s number 1 comforter #she’s only vulnerable to one☝️man #fun fact: ronnie joined the military when she got thrown to like year 2285 #before she got frozen on the hope #i know that’s a part of her story that’s not in her history post

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lewlthea · 2 years

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I think I’ve never seen a Fire Emblem game where the characters feel like set dressing instead of an important part of the story like they do in Engage.

While they all have different character traits and designs, most of them have the same dynamics with almost every other character and theres just. A lack of flair there that I cannot understand. Because half of the cast are nobles, and because for some reason the game itself hides important character backstories from the player unless they go into supports (e.g citrinne and diamant being childhood friends, panette and pandreo being siblings), they all feel flat- they’re either retainers or nobles and theres no interesting dynamic outside of that. For example, you’ll never see a support like fe7’s priscilla/lucius in this game because while these two share the same roles as most characters in engage (noble and retainer), their dynamic is hostile and uncomfortable to each party because of their connection to other people and their past, which we already know of because to recruit lucius, priscilla must reveal to raven that she is his long lost sister - and because of that even though their conversations are very stinging to one another and it gets interesting fast because it brings to the table yet another character’s intentions and feelings, they manage to sort it out. Literally close to none of the Engage characters have any of that because almost none of them are allowed to have a shared history to anyone other than the lords theyre bound to serve or the retainers that protect them.

So far to me very few supports stand out in my mind, the most clear being alcryst/ivy (which actually uses the game’s threadbare story and ivy’s actions as a former enemy unit as a jumping point, i wish the c support did not resolve their animosity so fast but i do appreciate how the character whose entire personality trait is to apologize for everything he does actively refuses to do so when consumed in anger, thats character depth baby!), pandreo/panette (which i do enjoy but i can confess that i havent finished yet bc i do not use pandreo) and lapis/rosado (just has general good vibes and uses past chapters for reference in a clever way, plus this is the support that rosado explicitly confirms that theres no concept of gender in their hometown and i did not ever imagine a fire emblem saying the word gender in a positive way in my entire life). Overall, so far not much has impressed me in terms of characters in this game- the most I’m doing is hyping up Alcryst to myself at all times to at least get attached to something so I can bring myself to continue the game - and I’m already at the doorstep to chapter 25, at this point im only grinding for supports - and the last time I’ve had to do this sort of thing was to complete PERSONA 4 (aka hatecrime the videogame) so yeah engage is. Bad.

#fire emblem #fe engage #ramblings of a lunatic #all things said. stan alcryst #thats right im hyping him up even in the shitty tag section i dont give a shit #i’ll be back when our beloved iron18 aka jugdral remake comes out but in the meantime im struggling in the club

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illdesigns · 2 years

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hii! i hope ur doing well! idk if u have gotten other asks ive sent or not but i was wondering where u went… u havent really posted writing or even fandom stuff period lol

i just want to clarify that this is like…the fourth or fifth message i have gotten, seemingly from the same anon due to typing styles and general content. i’ve been steadfastly ignoring them for a bit because it’s no skin off my nose but i’m honestly tired. so i’m sorry if i come off as unnecessarily mean during this but i cannot overstate the fact i’ve been ignoring this for a while.

i’m still blogging. i haven’t left or gone anywhere. yeah, i haven’t really posted writing, because i’ve been busy. because i’m a grown adult who does other things in my life. and i have posted fandom stuff - i am not immune to gifsets, fanart and jokes about media i like. but i am deciding to cease participating in fandom spaces because it’s not really for me any more. i want to focus more on my original writing and am not in a point where i can give a hobby and something i want to turn into a career the same level of attention.

and i know this anon probably means a Certain Fandom, as i’ve only been active in one the past few years. i’ve not felt the need to make some big announcement of a fandom flounce at my big age but i also don’t feel as if i have any particular place i fit in in the metalocalypse fandom any more. i’m glad for the great friends i made during my time participating in that, and i also met my current partner through the fandom and that’s given me a lot of nice opportunities in life too. so yay me.

however, if i may allow myself a certain degree of flounce since i’ve been pestered into sharing this information by somebody who seems to have had a bi-weekly alarm on their phone about sending me passive aggressive anons: i’m not particularly keen on a fandom space that, outside of an immediate circle of friends, has been an absolute minefield of social interaction. between watching drama and outright harassment my friends have dealt with and the issues i have faced myself (harassment to the point of changing certain social media accounts, having my locked twitter account put on blast by somebody upset i blocked people not in my immediate social circle so i wouldn’t deal with awkward follow requests, somebody in my dms threatening suicide over his traced ship art for months at a time, getting vagued constantly and associated with actual abusive people and/or practices because i liked a character with four minutes of screentime AND OTHER INCIDENTS)…i realized that was a lot of emotions for a cartoon. especially a cartoon ive liked for a long time, since it started airing, and it’s a cartoon i would like to continue liking.

so i honestly don’t know what else this anon would want from me. i’ve already lost a few followers from my drop in fandom related activity, which i’m fine with, so if another person or multiple people would like to unfollow after this that’s fine too! it’s just tumblr, babes! curate your dash as you see fit! just don’t randomly pester people about a lack of content that was barely supported when it was being made, by a person who was constantly getting shit on by randoms because of said content while posting it :)

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lilweaselhub · 2 years

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Blog updates!! (10/7) Applying to all blogs!!!

Hey! so I know I have been kind of absent for a hot minute. allow me to explain.

LONG POST, but PLEASE read if were mutuals!

Basically, about a month ago I started having some not so fun health symptoms (Pain, legargy hematuria (ill let google be your friend there) ). At first I thought i had a bad uti or another infection of some kind. The symptoms were on and off and I went to two appts at a clinic. First time said I had a UTI prescribed me medicine and sent me on my way. They ended up changing the antibiotic midway through saying it wasnt right. (This will be important later. )

So i took it, thinking they knew what they were talking about. But less than a week later the symptoms came back worse than before. I ended up going back to the clinic, who because when I was there, had no symptoms they could see (Thanks body.) They sent me home. Fast forward about two days later,and it gets bad enough to go to my first Emergency room visit. They proceed to tell me the antibiotics werent going to treat a UTI of Any Kind (Amazing), but give me new medicine and send me home.

So there I am, taking medicines thinking, surely---this will be the end of it.

It was not.

Literally 24 hours later, I wake up in the WORST pain I have ever experienced in my life, unable to stop heaving, literally begging for it to stop. Back I end up at the hospital, who give me morphine (the pain was that bad.) and nausea medicine, and tell me after an MRI that lo and behold, a kidney stone is whats causing my pain. One i cannot feesibly pass on my own. So they scheduled me for surgery. (That was the 28th).

Since, ive been recovering from said surgery over the past week. Its been on and off how I’ve felt and I’ve only really felt consistently better since wednesday. Ive still had a lot of nausea and pain. (Todays a bit of a bummer outlier cus im feeling some pain again). I still have till the 20th before I even get the stent removed they put in my kidney (fun). So Im still on a long road to recovery. But HOPEFULLY this will be IT, and it will be the last bout of recovery I have to worry about and I’ll be back in business as usual in a month.

So what does this mean for rp on my blogs?

Well. I’m gonna be real, I miss rping a lot. But I havent felt great or really up to much of anything since this started. while its improving, its still very low in terms of energy, motivation and feeling well.

Because of this, I’m going to say my blogs are on SEMI-HIATUS until 11/10. (This is a preliminary date as It may be pushed back or forward depending on how fast i recover). This does not mean I will do NO rps, but i will be doing a lot LESS. There will be days where I’m not here at all, sometimes several in a row. && I will be likely only doing short replies/asks until I’m back in the swing of things.

***A little add on to this: I will be getting my next furbaby a golden retriever puppy between the 5th-9th of november. This will also CUT my activity but hopefully not as much as this health fiasco has been. I will be sharing pictures of him too when I get back dont even worry. He’s gonna be a spoiled lil bugger. but just in case i push the date further, or seem still low activity after the hiatus is over, this is probably why.

As always feel free to still send me asks, or IMs. Or you can message me for my discord if you’d like to plot or talk! I’m still here, and I want to be here. I just didn’t account for a health emergency this year. 2022 has been a LOT for me.

#tmi tw #ig #medical tw #LONG POST #if you read this! thanks!#im sorry ive been gone.#my motivation has taken a nosedive with my health #i lost like 15 pounds from how sick ive been #woof.#i miss you guys tho!

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justasopearchive · 2 years

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uhmmmm.... 👉👈 im still curious about your thoughts on why you think sope has kind of drifted apart these past few years. ive been watching the two closely since 2017 and kind of went mia last 2020. only got back in the fandom late last yr so im curious about your perspective on why you think so... ive seen some sopies share the same sentiments and i wanted to get more context as to why yall arrived with almost the same idea. i already asked you this before but i noticed you still havent answered it yet. if you wont reply to this, i guess ill just take that as a hint to never ask about this topic again hehe sorry if these ever came off as delusional or anything but im honestly just curious about what happened 🥺

Oh, of course; sorry about that, my entire Tumblr is on a queue, so I’m rarely actually ON Tumblr (except yesterday) and most asks I get are lowkey toxic shipping stuff, so I ignore it 😩

It’s not delusional at all; and if it is, I’m also delulu lol. In terms of Sope in particular, I always got the feeling that Suga had a thing for Hobi…a demonstrable thing, crush, feelings, confusion, call it whatever you want. Yes, BH feeds into the madness, but I don’t think they can fake every second on camera and he (Y) was just demonstrably happier, softer and overall more energetic with him (H).

But we stopped getting damn near any interactions a few years ago. Like. At all. Even the 2021 and 2022 memories were bare bones for us Sopies.

My theory? Sometime in 2019ish something happened and one or the other said something pretty bad to the other or feelings came to a head and someone, IDK WHO, put them on ice (I tend to think it was Hobi who wanted to chill out…idk, he just never seemed as into it). And they just haven’t been the same since then. We know they used to see each other outside of work in the past because both of them have said it and there’s photo/video evidence. Now, J-Hope says he sees Suga “in the office”; a far cry from two dudes who went to concerts together or sat around and drank at their new office.

Even Yoongi being the only one not at the JITB release party. That wasn’t sus to y’all? And, yes, I know they said he “felt sick.” But come on…he turned around and performed, in outstanding health, at the Psy concert right after that. That just looked…strange.

Anyway, I’m choosing to remain delulu and force myself to believe that they love each other and Sope is not divorced and they’ve kissed (don’t worry, I know this is all jokes and fantasy…I actually believe 5/7 of Bangtan are in or have recently been in, hetero romantic relationships).

I’ve literally never “shipped” anyone else in my life and BTS is the only group of strangers I actively enjoy keeping up with (I don’t even watch reality TV 🥴)—so I’m just gonna hold on to this as my OTP for awhile lol

This is all just conjecture and gossiping on MY part.

Hope that answers your question 🙃

#just a sope archive asks

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trumpkara · 2 months

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Chapter Six: The Grass isn't always Greener if you want it to be Blue

The campaign had been gaining momentum, and with increased visibility came increased scrutiny. Linkara had expected it. Running for president meant every aspect of his life would be under a microscope. But he was ready to face it all, this was nothing compared to piloting his spaceship and moving apartment while shipping out high quality episodes of Atop the Fourth Wall—until the moment he wasn't.

The day had been packed with events, culminating in a prime-time interview on one of the major news networks. Linkara had been prepping with Harvey and 90s Kid, going over potential questions and refining his answers. They knew this was a crucial opportunity to reach a broader audience.

The studio was buzzing with activity when Linkara arrived. Bright lights, bustling crew members, and the deafening hum of live broadcast energy filled the air. Linkara took a deep breath as he settled into his seat, adjusting his hat and magic gun. He was ready.

The anchor, a sharp-eyed woman named The Nostalgic Chick, greeted him with a professional smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Kind words were exchanged. Are you enjoying the campaign? Oh that's good! Nice weather today huh? Yes I imagine the hat helps a lot in the rain. No I havent heard of Frank Miller. Oh that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Batman? Uh-huh. Right. Okay.

Then it was time. As the cameras rolled, her demeanor shifted, becoming more assertive.

"Welcome, Linkara," she began, her tone cool and measured. "You’ve been making headlines with your unconventional campaign. But before we dive into your political platform, I’d like to address your past. Specifically, your history of angry comic book reviews. Some have described them as overly aggressive and unprofessional. Do you think that’s the kind of temperament we need in a president?"

Linkara’s smile faltered slightly. He had anticipated this question, but the sharpness in her tone caught him off guard. "Chick, I’ve always believed in being passionate about my work. My reviews were a way to express that passion and connect with my audience. They were never intended to be taken as a reflection of my character, but rather a critique of the material."

Chick leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. "But don’t you think that kind of behavior—yelling, mocking—could be seen as a lack of control? How can voters trust someone who has a history of losing their temper over something as trivial as a comic book?"

"W-Well, I-"

"And you're so unqualified! How do you propose to fix the unemployment chasm? Or the countrywide GONZO epidemic?"

Linkara felt a flush of irritation rise in him, his cheeks burning. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. "Chick, those reviews were a form of entertainment, a way to engage with a community that shares my love for comics. It’s important to separate that from how I conduct myself in serious matters. My campaign is built on respect, integrity, respect and the belief in a better future. You know that."

Chick didn’t relent, his words bounced off her like flies on a window. "But isn’t it hypocritical to preach about respect and integrity when you’ve built a reputation on tearing things down? How do you reconcile that with your message?"

Linkara had never been good at maintaining his cool. He never suffered fools, even if they had something worthwhile to say.

"I..." He bit his lip. "I..."

"Oh no" said Alison Preggers.

"This is bad" Muttered Harvey. He knew Linkara. He knew him all too well.

The frustration boiled over, and before he could stop himself, Linkara leaned forward, his voice rising. "Enough! You’re taking something completely out of context! My reviews were about holding media accountable, about demanding better from the stories we consume. Yes, they were passionate, sometimes angry, hysterical at times, but they came from a place of wanting improvement! And if you can’t see the difference between entertainment and real-life values, then you’re missing the point entirely! YOU STUPID CANKER SORE OF A DISGRACE OF A REPORTER!"

The room went silent. The air crackled with tension. Chick stared at him, momentarily taken aback by his outburst. A small trail of drool tickled down the side of her mouth but she was too in shock to wipe. Linkara’s heart pounded in his chest, the reality of the situation crashing down on him. He had let his emotions get the best of him. Again.

Chick quickly regained her composure, her expression a mixture of triumph and professionalism. "Thank you for your honesty, Linkara. I think the voters will have a lot to consider after this." She smirk wryly, a veritable facet pouring out the corner of her mouth.

The interview wrapped up, and Linkara left the studio alone, his mind racing faster than what flash can do. He knew he had made a mistake. Harvey and 90s Kid were waiting for him outside, their faces reflecting a mix of concern and sympathy.

"That was rough kid," Harvey said, attempting to clap a hand on Linkara’s shoulder before he flinched away. "... B-but you handled it as best as you could."

Linkara sighed, rubbing his temples. "I lost my cool. That’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen."

90s Kid stepped forward, his expression firm. "It’s not the end of the world. Yes, it was a tough moment, but you spoke your truth dude. Now we need to focus on damage control and reminding people of who you really are. A radical bro!"

As he lay in bed that night, Linkara reflected on the day’s events. He felt a mix of regret and determination, knowing that his journey was far from over. The road ahead was still long and uncertain, but he was ready to face it, one step at a time. On step. At. A. Time.

#linkara #at4w #atop the fourth wall #trumpkara #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #writing #creative writing

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