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#if she goes too idk what I'll do
acewithobsessions · 8 months
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Ughhhh how is it I write the darkest stories but get triggered by a kids movie
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possamble · 5 months
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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille
#possramble#ignore this im just babbling but#the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel#and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession#platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together#like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married#convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist#but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain#like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just#the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends#the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me#like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed#the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk#people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out#don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it#and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over#like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics#and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with#they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic#it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out#like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched#love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it#anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me#it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3#it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.
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doedipus · 5 months
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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claitea · 20 days
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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nerosdayinanime · 1 year
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Please post more about giyu just dating everyone
i should...... gonna start right now cuz ive actually thought about mitsugiyu for the GiyuusFuckingSad au- when hes still moping around in the cafeteria corner she pops over because she saw shinobu, shinobu stops her excited rambling and explains that its Quiet Time and shes like 'oh! okay! i can be quiet!' and she just hangs around to doodle in her sketchbook across from them. giyuu once again baffled by another random girl deciding she wants to hang out near(with?) him when hes literally never said a word in response.
she sees him in the halls and tries to talk with him, he responds minimally but shes encouraged by any response at all and talks to him outside the cafeteria any chance she gets- giyuu's incredibly confused as to why she likes talking to him so much, but one time when he realizes he missed the turn to his class about three halls ago finally notices how much he enjoys listening to her stories (he ended up just walking her to class to hear the end of the story, he was a few minutes late when he got back to his own)
when shinobu starts inviting him to little outings with her friends mitsuri's the first to welcome him, kyojuro and suma quickly follow and hes. very overwhelmed. why did he get introduced to the loudest ones of the friend group first?? contrary to what he thought would happen though, they actually love him and despite how hype the three of them get (and how not hype he usually is) he doesn't ever feel left out or pushed to the side (physically speaking too- suma frequently hangs off him since hes the most stable one around now and mitsuri & kyojuro aren't hesitant to pull him in to make him focus on whatever they're talking about. he likes how free they are with affection towards him like that)
months later he's acquainted with and knows the whole group and they're all out at a restaurant chatting and having fun- giyuu notices how entranced everyone else is at kyojuro's retelling of a story and he can't help but think how much sabito would like them all... mitsuri stops paying attention to kyo and turns to him, "Giyuu? Are you okay?" "Yeah, why?" "You're crying"
the grief finally hits, the tears get heavier despite his attempts at drying them before he starts to panic and excuses himself- he practically runs out and mitsuri worriedly glances back at everyone before excusing herself and running after him. she follows him to the side of the restaurant in the little alley where hes having his breakdown and hugs him- he buries his face in her shoulder and holds back shaking like a leaf for a while before the worst of it passes. she asks what happened, "I-i just- he'd like you all.. he would've loved to meet you.." she knows who hes talking about- well.. she knows he was extremely important to giyuu, and that something happened and he's not around anymore, and that its extremely painful for giyuu to talk about so he just doesn't. she says shes honored by his thought and goes on to try to calm him down/cheer him up, his face looks a mess from the splotchy flush and eye liner- it got smudged to hell and back and hes a little embarrassed by it. only for a moment tho because mitsuri immediately offers to fix it for him. when they're finally ready to go back in they notice obanai standing at the entrance of the alleyway, blocking the view from outsiders. "aw! you're so thoughtful obanai!" "You two good to head back inside now?" "how long were you standing there?" "long enough, you worried everyone running off like that" "sorry.." "don't apologize, idiot. c'mon, lets go eat" and they followed an excited mitsuri back to the rest of the group.
after that mitsuri started inviting him to her apartment to practice makeup art on him since she knew he was okay with it. he was good at sitting still and he liked how gently she touched and moved his face however while she worked, quiet and serene with her music playing from the room over- the first thing she tried out was a simple little water-esque mark on his left cheek. when he was finally allowed to look at it he remembered the time when they were kids and sabito backhanded him there for saying he wished he had died with his sister. remembered how badly he wished he could have gone with sabito too. remembered his final words, 'promise me you'll love again'
he looks back up at mitsuri with a little smile, maybe that promise isn't as impossible for me to keep as i thought. "i like it" "oooh! i just had another idea! what if i made it look like a stream of water coming out the corners of your mouth!?"
#tomioka giyuu#kanroji mitsuri#giyumitsu#giyuu tomioka#mitsuri kanroji#mitsugiyu#loserboy giyuu posting#gfs au#most of this is actually canon to gfs au but this time with added emphasis on his relationship with mitsuri#shes so bubbly and kind its hard not to fall in love with her at least a little bit#(giyuu might also just have a thing for pink hair lmao)#((shit now im thinking of giyuu x sabito/mitsuri/akaza.. full set like.. cedes what have you done))#i imagine for this version at first obanai is kinda jealous bc giyuu's closer to her but hes too nervous to actually do anything about it#once giyuu and mitsuri actually start going out hes like 'well fuck. there goes my chance. guess i'll pine'#giyu however notices said pining and just straight up 'do you want to date mitsuri?' 'wh- no!' 'cuz i think she'd love#to have two boyfriends to dote on her- give tengen a run for his money' 'what.' 'you liked her since before we even met didnt you? thats#kinda sad. coming from *me*' 'shut up asshole. ..yes i wanna date mitsuri' 'cool. i'll talk with her abt it'#'wait youre not fucking w me rn??' 'no? why would i do that' 'idk.. rub salt in the wound..' 'im bad at cooking' 'ha ha.'#mitsuri w two loserboyfriends who love and adore her immensely<3<3#vauge other ideas for gfs au: movie night‚ pool party(turned skinny dipping)‚ mitsuri's microwaved stuffed animal#oo also giyuu helps her with outfits- if she finds something she likes or thinks would go great with an outfit but its not fitted right for#her he'll stitch it to fit her perfectly. he also buys her little things that remind him of her. lots of watermelon themed trinkets lmao#ough... i wanna draw them now...#its almost 3 tho and i cant...#...if i wasnt a pUSSY
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imflyingfish · 4 months
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.t
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hystericfae · 7 months
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I thought I wasn't gonna cry but then I did 😔
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dandyshucks · 7 months
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whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')
and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH
#bleaseeee come back shfkdl im the only person that goes every week !!!#theres one other person who occasionally shows up but fjdkdl otherwise its just me#and then new ppl every time#and i cannot help but feel like im doing smth wrong and making them not want to return fhfkdl#i even get ppl to talk in the latter half once I've figured their vibe out and they seem genuinely happy to engage w convos#i somehow land on a topic we all enjoy and then we have a fun convo#and im very careful to not talk too much or too little djfkdl i am constantly adjusting to make sure I'm matching whats needed#i kind of have conversations irl down to a science dhdksl its ridiculous honestly but. it is what's gotten me thru life lmao#and I've been told countless times how good i am at connecting w ppl and making ppl feel comfortable#so im just like. what am i doing wrong !! how do i make this group enjoyable so ppl will come back !!#i know it's not my job lol im just an attendee and not a leader but i feel like i Have To if i want ppl to return#idk i just. god. there were cool ppl last week and this week it was some other new person who seemed like she did not want to be there#and i doubt I'll ever see those cool ppl last week ever again#i just want to cry a little bit sbdjdkl today was such a waste of time except for the fact i was able to get out of this hell house fhfkdl#i will just keep hoping that someone actually enjoys it enough to return i guess but this is getting a bit crushing to have happen so much#but... at least i am getting to talk to ppl face to face outside of my mother every week i suppose#vent //#dandy.cmd
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kellystar321 · 1 year
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#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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twilightarcade · 1 year
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meow :3
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color refs for me 🔥🔥🔥🔥
nevaeh thompson, she/he - secretary but not in a sexy way more of a bit of a loser way. They’re all losers
Jacob “”””””jake””””” Mulligan, he/they - always put a particular amount of spiteful emphasis on his nickname being jake if you do mention it, unless you just want to be normal about it
going to let you in on a little secret everyone here really uses any pronouns because like. That’s not my job. Make ur own pronouns dude. But also they CANT so I’m sitting here assigning arbitrary pronouns to them
#notwordswordstag#caustic corp#this pose was originally for a bigger piece I doubt you’ll see but if you do then this drawing doesn’t exist ok?#you may notice they all have slightly different tints of white it doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it which you can#but it’s mainly what goes with their design#iris' white is literally off magenta and I'm not really sure how that happened#they all end up either red or blue and it's super noticeable when they're standing next to eachother and I'm going to try to remedy this in#the future#but also it's not too big of a big deal because 90% of the time I go a bit off ref anyways#their EARINGS' colors however are chosen with a tiny bit more care#idk why this is captioned meow but it's staying <3#I need to start drawing at a reasonable brightness because I swear to you nevaehs face was near unreadable as I was drawing this and I fel#felt bad because I couldnt see what was going on but couldn't fix that#looking at it again it's not nearly that bad#I also neglected to color some of the outlines because they looked about the same color and I figured coloring them wouldn't make much of#a difference but I was WRONG like a fool but it doesn't effect the drawing as a while much#I didn't make the upper half of jacobs arm defined but that's just a him problem I think. I'm not responsible for his arm (I am)#eventually I'll do a wip dump and you'll get to look at all the art that's never getting finished but would be pretty cool if it did#she's holding her clipboard close to her chest which is something I changed from the original because she was#going to hold it behind her back but you couldn't see it then. rude.#specifically with the papers facing away from her
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glimblshanks · 9 months
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lanayrutower · 10 months
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i'm about to throw hands with this yt poll.
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this is the zelda version of that twitter butch post to me.
#the best zeldas arent even here!!! if og 'i was like 8 y/o when i SHATTERED the triforce and hid it ALONE in a monster infested land' zelda#and st 'the only one with a character arc u see play in real time & goes from i'll wait here to i will STAB malladus with my own 2 hands#and alone if i have to' zelda were here they'd obliterate the competition. maybe not in votes but just in terms of correctness#BUT EVEN IN THIS CASE. ur not voting for ms. 'i saw my family home and kingdom be systematically destroyed over the course of 7 years &#stood back up said no & changed my ENTIRE self to try to save everyone largely on my own for 7! years! as a child!! only to at the end of#it all be the only person who can truly empathise with the hero who had his childhood stolen from him and return it even though i will#never have mine again'????????????#or even ms. 'i was normal & happy & loved until i wasnt and i learnt i was the orchestrator of my own and everyone else's misery because im#not even myself & im so much bigger yet lesser than who i thought i was and if i cannot be divine then i will be less than worthless i will#be a blight who couldnt execute the plan i had tossed everyone into and they will have lived in my lie and died for nothing so i will be#divine even if that means sealing myself away for an eternity. even if i will never know happiness the way i did again'????????#i cant say anything about twipri. i barely remember her bc i watched that playthrough ages ago and she was barely in the game idk what ur#voting for#but botw???????? /BOTW/?????????????????#girl wasnt even the best princess in her own game and she only had one other competitor smh#(<-THAT'S A JOKE. THAT'S A JOKE. I AM JOKING.)#this whole thing is half a joke. i love botw zelda (dont look at me like that. i do) and i get why she's winning but like. come on. that's#way too big of a divide. how are oot and skysw losing that much. botw zelda's voice alone should have cost her half her votes#WKSHDKSDHKKA#anyway this whole thing is for funsies so dont be weird on my post ok <3? ive had a shit three days and if being fake mad at a silky video#game poll makes me laugh then that's fair ok? and if you're weird i have the license to explode you with my mind and curse your family for#3 generations ok <333?#freya talks loz
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piplupod · 1 year
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there is a cassette player in the house that my grandparents apparently lent to us but mum doesnt know if they want it back,,,,,, i would like,, to have it,,, physical media and old machines my beloved,,, perhapth i can swing it so that i get to keep it even if i dont own any cassettes rn but i'll be difficult bc my mother hates physical media,, but i would just like this little beastie of a machine to hold and cherish and be the proud owner of
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onepiexe · 2 years
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had an insanely good day at work
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ff2-soda-pop · 1 year
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having. bad moment today alright-
#everything in class was too overwhelming to the point i couldnt even talk anymore and i couldnt leave and i didnt wanna stim because then#people would See Me and stuff so i just sat there suffering with that.#and then ig we're preparing for Finals but i barely have understood this whole class because it goes Too Fast for me and im scared im gonna#fail and i cant fail otherwise im gonna get the help w/ the financial stuff taken away and thats basically gonna screw me over big time but#idk what im doing!! and then the teacher said things about like 'oh if you say you're not taking this again next semester i'll take off#points' BUT IDK IF SHE WAS SERIOUS OR NOT?????? like shes generally pretty nice but like i cant tell if she was kidding or not at all but i#dont wanna ask because no one else seemed confused by it and i dont wanna stick out so i just. am confused#also im scared if i fail this class my mom'll get pissed because shes very insistent that i am the 'normal' one and so i 'have' to go to#school ad basically live life like a Normal Allistic Person which. is bullshit but thats besides the point#and my only class rn is japanese which until now ive been consistently GOOD at so if i fail that my mom'll probably get Extra pissed at me#for it because of that. also trying to ask for help hasnt worked so good so far because i tried and the teachers like 'you're doing fine!#dont worry about it :D' and im like 'i have barely understood anything for weeks on end but idk how to argue you on this and it feels rude#to try and be like No Actually Wrong' so then i just. dont say anything#also i still have no accommodations because i still havent gotten copies of papers i need and they wont let me do anything until i have#those copies of things from older schools before i went here. EVEN THOUGH IM LITERALLY DIAGNOSED AND AM STRUGGLING BUT APPARENTLY PAPERS#FROM OLD SCHOOLS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT CAN 'PROVE' I NEED HELP???? WHICH MAKES NO SENSE TO ME BUT ANYWAYS-#anyways everything is too much and i wanna curl up in a ball and just kinda stay like that forever#vent
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gentlethorns · 2 years
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i'm going fucking crazy. why do i get a little 🤏🏼 just a little bit stressed and suddenly be like "i'm going 100 on the highway at 10:30 am. also i'm booking five tattoos for the next two weeks. also i am enraged suddenly." and then even after the feeling of stress ebbs away i still feel like shit and have all those negative impulsive behaviors that serve the purpose of venting steam (steam that is no longer there)!!!!! why why why
#she bork#tbd#me thinking getting a job i don't actively hate would eradicate stress forever and make my mental illness go away 🤡 see this is why i'm like#80-90% positive i have bpd. high function or 'quiet' bpd for sure bc i'm still functional and high-achieving but idk when these lil episodes#hit i literally am just overwhelmed w despair that i will never be able to live fucking normally bc whatever job i currently have will#always eventually make me miserably stressed and whatever i accomplish will always eventually amount to nothing and whoever i meet no one#will ever really know or love the real me and it's like. where does that come from. it could be cptsd too but the impulsive and reckless#coping mechanisms i have (overspending + tats + recklessly driving + physically venting rage) make me lean towards bpd#and you know what else? so do my tendencies to have black and white thinking ('oh i frustrated you once? you hate me then and i should die')#and to get turned on and off by people (even the same person) very easily and often. like it happens even w people i'm close to like#sometimes suddenly i'll be like 'you're so annoying. i cannot continue to see you as a presence in my life. don't talk to me. don't exist#around me.' and then it goes away as suddenly as it arrived. lmfao all of that is so toxic and i'm LITERALLY AWARE OF IT EVEN AS IT HAPPENS.#so yes the emotional volatility and impulsivity make me think bpd. but also cptsd and bpd are often comorbid so honestly it's probably both!
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