#if they’re talking about how she strategically releases her music then sure

[idekwtf-is-happening]

Seeing people on Twitter trying to hate on Taylor swift is so funny like, she’s living in their heads rent free as they scramble for reasons to hate her

[lonelyreputation]

The List

A/N: Happy afternoon/evening/morning to wherever you find yourself on this planet! I had planned on posting this ~next week, but I’m trying to be better at posting fics sooner instead of having them sit in my docs for like 2 weeks after I finish sdljfk so here’s this one! I also can’t find the original request or else I would link it, but below is a summary! And it’s allllll fluff ! 

Thanks a million for all your support!! 💖💫 I really appreciate every reader, every like, every reblog, and every reply that I’ve ever received 🥺 It really makes my heart melt lsdjflk

Also, as I’m sure most of you are aware, there was a devastating   explosion in Beirut, Lebanon on Tuesday that killed hundreds and injured thousands. Here’s a really informational text post explaining the explosion with additional resources to help. And if you have the means, here is the link to donate to the Lebanese Red Cross.

REQUEST: Going grocery shopping with your husband Shawn during corona and running into fans 

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: Coronavirus (please remember to wear your masks!!!)

Word Count: 2.3K

“Do you have the list?” You mumbled through your mask.

Shawn shut the driver’s side door close as he slipped the elastic strings of his mask around his ears, “I thought you had it?”

You looked at him in disbelief as the two of you walked toward the front of the grocery store, “You said and I quote,”  you cleared your throat to lower your voice, “Of course, I have the list Y/n, I’m not irresponsible.”

He rolled his eyes at the glare you sent him as he took out a clorox wipe from a ziplock bag to wipe down the handle of the shopping cart before he put his hands on it, “Tomato tomahto.”

“Shawn, we’re in the middle of a pandemic,” you glared at him again as the two of you entered through the automatic doors, “We need specific things and can’t keep running back and forth to the store.”

“I––Yeah, you’re right, sorry.”

For a second you forgot you were wearing a mask, so you just smiled at him as a response. But when you realized that all he could see were the crinkles at the corner of your eyes, you patted his bicep, “It’s alright, let’s just get what we need and then leave.”

Shawn nodded as he pushed the cart over toward the produce section.  You picked out some lettuce, peppers, apples, and other assortments of fruits and vegetables.  As you were tying a knot around a plastic bag you had put asparagus in, Shawn’s voice caused your head to turn his way.

“How do you pick out an avocado?”

“How do you––What?”

Shawn stared down at the avocados, eyebrows pulled together as he scratched his chin, “Like, I know there’s something about the color and feel of it, but I don’t wanna touch them and then put them back.”

He had a point, you thought.  There was a fear factor about touching a piece of fruit––of touching anything in the grocery store––and putting it back on the shelf that could potentially put someone at risk of getting sick.  

“I guess just grab a few?” You pulled down another plastic bag from the dispenser, wiggling your hands inside to fully open it and holding it out to Shawn, “We’ll eat the softer one’s first and just keep an eye on the rest of them.”

Shawn nodded as he picked up a few avocados and placed them in the bag you held open for him.  Once Shawn had put six avocados in the bag you gave him a look silently asking him if he really needed all of the avocados.

“I like avocado toast,” he gave you a cheeky wink, “And it’s not like we can put them back.”  

You let out an exasperated sigh, knowing full well he was grinning under his mask, as he pushed the cart forward, “What else do we need?”

“I would know if we had a list.”

“I said I was sorry!”

You tilted your head and gave him a deliberate look that showed you didn’t believe him.  You heard him let out a faux disgruntled sigh as he looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes.  Shawn continued to push the cart forward and you told him to jokingly get whatever he wanted since the list was long forgotten.

And he took your lighthearted joke to heart as the two of you went up and down the aisles.  Shawn grabbed various cereal boxes you didn’t even know he liked to eat, seven different kinds of pasta noodles––They’re on sale, Y/n––snacks ranging from potato chips to dried kale flakes, and spent more than enough time in the baking aisle.

You stood next to the cart that Shawn abandoned as you watched him walk up and down the aisle; front teeth biting down on his bottom lip in concentration as he leaned in close to the shelves with squinted eyes, reading the labels.

“You’re serious about this?” You warily looked at the way he was so concentrated.

“Of course,” he said unfazed as he turned his head over his shoulder to give you a duh look, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just so…” Your words trailed off as he whipped his head back around and bent his knees to squint at the labels on the bottom shelf, “Unexpected.”

Shawn let out a little triumphant ah ha as he picked up bread flour from the bottom shelf.  He shrugged his shoulders at you as he dropped the bread flour in the cart, “Everyone seems to be making sourdough bread.”

For what felt like the millionth time since you stepped foot in the grocery store, you let out a sigh, “That doesn’t mean you should.”

Shawn glared at you, “My mom said she would FaceTime me to help.”

Your eyes crinkled as you laughed out loud and pushed the cart down to the cleaning supplies aisle.  You picked up the limit of two packs of paper towels, two packs of toilet paper, but the store was unfortunately out of clorox wipes.  

After you picked up those essential supplies, you went down to pick up some bread, eggs, and then down to the milk.  You opened the fridge door, took a gallon of milk out, but before you could fully close the door, Shawn offered up his spaced-out thoughts.

“What’s the difference between one percent and two percent milk?”

“Shawn, I don’t know,” You turned around and saw his nose an inch away from the glass of the fridge, “And get your nose away––You don’t know who’s touched that surface.”

He moved his head back, but it was still too close then what you would’ve liked, “There’s so many types of milk…And like, non-milk’s…Have you ever tried pea milk?”

You now remembered why you always left Shawn at the house when you went food shopping.

“You usually like fat-free milk in your cereal–––”

“Shawn––Are you Shawn Mendes?”

Shawn pulled his head completely away from the glass and took a few steps toward you as to put some distance between the fans and him, “Uh––Yeah––Hi, how’s it going?”

Even with their masks on, you could tell that they were trying really hard to hold in their excitement.  While the three of them looked to be various ages, you could tell that they were sisters.

“We’re so good––”

“––As good as you can be in a pandemic––”

“Are you grocery shopping?”

The last question made you laugh because if being in a grocery store wasn’t obvious enough, you also had a cart full of food.  But you knew that they really admired Shawn’s music, that they were also probably nervous, and just trying to make conversation with him.

“Yeah,” Shawn smiled at them as he gestured to you, “Y/n forgot the list though––”

“You said you had it!” You cut him off and turned your attention to the fans, “He’s always so forgetful.”

“You guys are too cute––”

“––Yeah like your wedding pictures were to die for––”

“What song did you have your first dance to?”

Like how you directed your attention to the trio of girls, the youngest of the sisters directed this question at you.  

“Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis was our first dance song,” you blushed at the memory that was just a little under a year ago, as you looked up at Shawn, who was already looking down at you with idolization shining bright his eyes for you, “He stepped on my dress a few times.”

Shawn scoffed and the idolization in his eyes turned into bewilderment, “You stepped on my shoes.”

“Tomato tomahto,” you shot his words back at him.

“That is really funny––”

“––That song is so romantic––”

“Can we get a picture?”

The two older sisters apologized and silently berated the youngest sister saying how they probably didn’t want to be bothered while out; especially in a pandemic.  But Shawn reassured her that it was fine.

“Okay, so let’s…” Shawn was trying to strategize the safest way to take a picture with fans, “Let’s do this as socially distant as possible…Hmm…Okay so how about I get behind you girls and you aim the camera up so you’re able to see me in the distance?”

They all agreed with wide eyes and vigorous nods of their head, verbalizing their gratitude toward Shawn and how he was being so compromising and careful with the current situation.  You stood by the cart as you witnessed the oldest sister stretch her arm out so she was able to get her sisters and Shawn, who was standing more than six feet behind them, all into the picture.

“I really appreciate you girls being so understanding with taking the picture and not having it be…normal.  We’ve––” Shawn gestured his hand between you and him, “––been quarantining pretty intensely, but I still don’t want to risk you all––or my wife––getting infected.”

Just like the picture, the sister’s understood his concerns.

“Really, thank you so much–––”

“––This has been the highlight of my quarantine––”

“When are you releasing new music?”

You let out a laugh that your mask, thankfully, muffled as all the sisters continued to talk over each other, but were interrupted when the youngest would blurt out a question.

Shawn’s laugh was more hearty and audible to the fans, “I’ve been writing more,” Shawn gave you a side glance, “I’ve had some good inspiration lately.”

Once they all thanked Shawn again, they were trotting off to wherever they came from.  Shawn was silent for the remaining of the shopping trip, only offering his opinion every now and then when you asked him a question.  Checking out was a breeze, and soon enough you were walking outside with the bags, placing them in the back of Shawn’s car.

The two of you opened your doors, stepped into the car, but before you buckled up, you held your hand out to Shawn who was already squeezing hand sanitizer into his hand.  You thanked him as you rubbed your hands together, the alcohol smell pungent in the car.

“Alright there?” You clicked your seatbelt in place as Shawn started the car.

He placed a hand on the back of your seat as he looked through the back windshield, “Yeah, just…It was nice seeing some fans…Almost forgot I was famous for a minute.”

“You might’ve forgotten that you’re famous, but your fans will never forget you.”

He tried to contain the growing smile by biting the corner of his bottom lip as he looked over at you.  You offered him a shining smile and with a shake of his head and a small chuckle, he placed a hand on your thigh and gave you a slight squeeze.

The rest of the ride was silent and you pulled out your phone to scroll through Twitter while Shawn sang along to the radio.  You were mindlessly scrolling, not really paying attention to your timeline, but then you saw an update account retweet the picture of Shawn at the grocery store with fans.  You clicked on the profile and saw that there was a link to the full Instagram post.

You were directed from Twitter to the Instagram app and smiled at the picture’s caption.

Ran into Y/n and Shawn Mendes at the store! They were very cute, but Shawn forgot their food list!  Y/n kept teasing him. And they were both wearing masks!  And before anyone says anything about the pic, Shawn was more than 6 ft away and stood behind us.  He also said that he and Y/n had been quarantining intensely!  We love our quarantine King and Queen Y/n and Shawn Mendes ✨ 💖💫

You decided to humor yourself and read the comments.  And while almost all of them were positive, there were still some people commenting on how they thought you and Shawn weren’t actually married and it was still just for PR.

Someone did comment: What supermarket? I’m tryna meet Shawn 👀

But the fan, the oldest sister, who you met just under an hour ago at the supermarket responded: Sorry! Not going to give out their private info just in case they live in that area!

You smiled at the thoughtfulness of her response and hearted the comment.

Before you knew it, you were back at your house washing your hands, and bringing in the grocery bags.  You unpacked the groceries one by one, putting vegetables in the fridge as Shawn put the seven different kinds of pasta away in the pantry.

You walked back to where the grocery bags were on the floor, pulling out carrots and red peppers, when you saw a corner piece of white paper slightly sticking out from the top of your husband’s back pocket.

“Shawn?” You asked cautiously, not sure if your eyes were betraying you or not.

He peeked his head over his shoulder, “Yeah?”

Your eyes drifted down to his back pocket, “What’s that?”

Shawn followed your gaze and turned his head down to his backside, with a frown on his face, as he reached a hand into his pocket.  And just as you expected, he pulled out a crumpled white piece of scrap paper, the one you knew you wrote your food list on.

His eyebrows were scrunched together, reading over the list, and then his eyes widened when he realized what he was reading.  He looked up at you with an apologetic look, “Now also wouldn’t be the time to tell you that I forgot to buy pasta sauce?”

Your shoulders fell, just as fast as your mouth, as you looked at him with wild eyes, “You bought seven different kinds of pasta and didn’t buy any sauce?!”

taglist: @fallinallincurls @alina--jpeg @adelaidestreets @5-seconds-of-mendes @particularnarry @now-that-i-saw-u @turtoix​ @shawnsmutal @vinylmendes @mendesficsxbombay @lights-on-mendes

[libermachinae]

Fault Lines Under the Living Room

Part I: Listen - Chapter 1: A Commotion, Eager and Anxious (Previous)

Also available on AO3! Summary:  Arcee arrives on the Lost Light just as someone else is getting ready to leave. Chapter Word Count: 3010

---

“Hey, you’ve reached Captain Rodimus’ personal hailing frequency. If you’re calling to complain again about mandatory hab sweeps, please refer to recent events involving briefcases and the hereafter outlawed opening of. If you have news involving foolish, ridiculous, or nonsensical obstacles in our quest, input 1 to be transferred directly to Megatron’s personal comm line. If you have a complaint regarding sign placement, grammatically incorrect maintenance manuals, or that weird temperature difference between floors 7 and 8, input 2 for Ultra Magnus. If you’re lonely and want someone to talk to, input 3 for automatic directions to Swerve’s. Input 4 to be connected with me, provided I’m—”

Beep.

“Rodimus?”

“Blaster! Great timing, we just got back from Fortuna. Don’t talk too long, though, Magnus just handed me my prep for the hearing and these datapads are engraved with his personal insignia.”

“Sure, Rodimus. I’ve got incoming transmission from an unknown caller, not laying down any codes I’m familiar with. Tried pressing for details, but all they’re letting slip is they want to talk to you. Want me to patch them through?”

“Hm. On the one hand, unknown caller with mysterious intentions almost always means trouble, right?”

“We’ve ended up in some axel grease for it in the past, yeah.”

“And the reason we set down on Scarvix was to avoid creating more problems while we deal with the fallout from the last batch.”

“I thought it was to give the crew a day off?”

“And that’s why you’re our morale guy. Ratchet would probably tell me to ignore it, right?”

“I guess.”

“You don’t think he would?”

“Not really sure how the CMO’s opinion is relevant.”

Because Ratchet’s vote was the only one he knew.

“Yeah, never mind,” Rodimus said with a shrug, almost losing his balance in the process. “Ultra Magnus would say the same thing, anyway, and he’s counting on me to get to the hearing on time. He cares so much , he ‘summarized’ Brainstorm’s alleged code infringements himself.” He shifted the armload of datapads. The topmost pad was hanging off the edge, preparing for freefall, but trying to tilt it back to safety risked upsetting the rest of the pile.

“Nice of him,” Blaster said.

“Yep, super nice. He went to so much trouble. Really dug into the details, researched historical precedents, looked at the case from every angle. He probably buried his essay on the origins of Decepticon as an adjective somewhere in here.” The datapad tilted and dropped. Rodimus shifted his weight to one leg and kicked with the other, bouncing the pad off his knee and catching it with his teeth. “You know ‘at? Hure, ‘ut the comm hrough. ‘robably just a co’arketer, anyay.”

“Yes, sir.”

The familiar click and beat of a line being transferred. Rodimus deposited the datapad on top of his stack and started walking again, forgoing his office in favor of a detour to the middle decks. The view there was more impressive, the angle revealing the organic landscape that stretched between the Lost Light and Fortuna, a popular interstellar rest stop with enough mechanical business to make it worth the daytrip. Chomskians were their patrons of choice, but a hand over the faction insignia and most folks would let it slide. Walking the length of the Lost Light revealed a subtly changing view as the gleam of the mechanoid hub altered the silhouette of the city, and Rodimus busied himself tracking the shuttles, jets, and personal aircraft traveling in and out, letting it distract him until his comm came back.

“Am I speaking to Captain Rodimus?” an unfamiliar voice asked. Cybertronian, definitely, but otherwise unknown.

Cool .

“Yep, captain of the Lost Light and quester for the Knights of Cybertron,” he said. “What’s up?”

“This is Autobot Arcee, requesting permission to dock in the Lost Light’s shuttle bay.”

“Arcee?” Rodimus went through the list of all the Autobots he knew, ignoring the space where Arcee’s origin should have been. Some folks, MTOs especially, didn’t like to broadcast that information, and it wasn’t strictly necessary for a personal database search. Regardless, “Sorry, Arcee, I’m not remembering you. Who did you serve under?”

“New recruit. Was working with Prowl for a bit, now Optimus Prime. We’ve met.”

He had to hold himself back from shutting down the call. The datapads wobbled and he quickly righted himself.

“We have?” People who worked for Prowl were strategic about when they released that information. If she really was a new recruit, it was possible no one had explained to her yet that, ultimately, everything led back to him. It was the only justification he could find for staying on the line and not telling Ultra Magnus to initiate an immediate sweep for unauthorized listening devices.

“Well, no. But I crashed a shuttle for you. Into Galvatron.”

“You did?” And just like that he had forgotten Prowl entirely.

“I did. Me and a few others. It didn’t do much, but you and Optimus managed to take care of Vector Sigma anyway, so, bygones.”

Why couldn’t he remember this? It sounded awesome .

“Totally,” Rodimus said, feeling a swell of pride as he remembered the moment Optimus had set aside his doubts and trusted Rodimus’ word on the Matrix. Up until that point, his chosen name had felt ill-fitting, like the myriad of function tests that preceded a new harvest’s official classification. Or, in his darker moments, like the Primes of old, who claimed the Matrix’s blessing despite no legitimate connection to it. Optimus had put his faith in Rodimus, though, in his connection to the Matrix, and that faith had been rewarded , not punished . For once, his destiny hadn’t been priced in spilled energon.

Not that they hadn’t seen any.

“So you decided to get the brand and make it permanent?” he asked, pulling himself back to the present.

“Yes.”

“Then yeah, come aboard. ‘The more the merrier,’ as Megatron would never say. When do you estimate your arrival?”

“I’ve just breached atmosphere, should be there in an hour.”

“Perfect. I’ll send instructions along to open the shuttle bay doors and will be there to meet you.” He passed the news to Megatron and Ultra Magnus and was unsurprised when only the latter acknowledged the alert, as well as a bunch of forms that seemed incredibly tedious and not worth the bandwidth. Maybe once the hearing was over, he could sit down with his co-captain and remind him of the responsibilities he had agreed to as part of his deal. That would be a proper, leader-like thing to do.

Or he could let Megatron continue to wallow in whatever new misery he had concocted for himself. It certainly made his shifts easier.

He and Arcee exchanged farewells and his comm powered down, leaving Rodimus to strategize. Arcee’s arrival meant he did not have enough time to get back to his office, read through all of Magnus’ files, and make it to the shuttle bay, especially with all the effort it would take to even work himself up to unlocking the datapads. Better to make a good impression on their new guest and bump out the least pressing task. He could do his reading once Arcee was settled.

Walking around weighed down by the burden of knowledge was a drag, though, so he stuck to the part of the plan that involved getting rid of the datapads. He spent the remaining walk to his office (longer now after he had inadvertently walked in the opposite direction while on the comm) thinking about what he could do with the surprise free time. Maybe take a quick lap around the lower decks or make his first official visit to “Visages”. Something fun, carefree, and just barely skirting regulations; something normal , to start the work of convincing everyone, again, that things were going to be fine.

~*~

Ratchet was not stalling.

There was a chance he was overpreparing, but better that than the opposite. The galaxy was a big place, and if he was even slightly accurate in his guess of how far Drift would wander in his search for redemption, he would be touching corners of it even the war had never brought him to. So, an abundance of fuel was necessary, at least enough to last two bots a month plus about half that for the journey outward. Then medical supplies: wiremesh bandages, nanite gel, intravenous lines, sparkstarters, sorted boxes of nuts and screws, antiviral uploads, rust repellant, strut stabilizers, soldering wires… The shuttle was turning out better equipped than some of the mobile surgeries he had worked from during the war; even some hospitals had been dangerously low on materials he now found in abundance. For the first time, he had the resources to make sure nothing and no one would be lost to shortage, and he intended to take advantage of that new luxury.

Following that, the next logical step had been to make the rest of the shuttle comfortable as well. Two Morphy berths with recharge docks. A media library of music and movies to pass the time (the former Cyclonus’ recommendations, the latter, Swerve’s). A few selections from his private engex stash. A box of data blockers he had buried deep among the medical supplies and would claim were standard for any med kit if interrogated.

He nudged the box of Hex pieces against the wall with his foot. Was it alright there was nowhere to sit beside the naviconsole and the berths? He had though Drift would appreciate the economy of a smaller shuttle, but with the cargo loaded the atmosphere was shifting from cozy to cramped. Would Drift feel claustrophobic, reminded of squatters’ dens and Decepticon outposts? Drift was also a high-energy bot, who would probably itch for a chance to spin his wheels from time to time. Were the fuel reserves large enough to accommodate multiple planet stops?

Ratchet’s knuckle had worked its way between his teeth before he realized what he was doing. Dropping his hand, he forced himself to turn around and exit the small spacecraft. He was committed. Out of anyone on board, Drift had done the most to earn this home. If no one else was going to step up and do the right thing by returning it to him, Ratchet would resign to do it himself.

He heard a commotion, eager and anxious, as he stepped out into the shuttle bay. The hangar doors were opening, sunlight slipping through the growing crack, and several parked crafts were being taxied out of the way. Not wanting to get cut off by wandering shuttles, he hurried to the pedestrian entrance, where most of the voices were coming from: a small crowd, loiterers looking for the new source of intrigue. Whirl and Tailgate were among them, providing running commentary as the unwieldly ships skirted just shy of scraping each other’s paint off, so it was no surprise to find Cyclonus standing further off.

Perfect. Though Ratchet and Cyclonus were not on bad terms, neither had ever tried to expand their relationship past the occasional long-suffering glance. If it had been one of the bots who had his spark twisting every time he bumped into them in the hallways, Ratchet would have worried about giving his plan away, but he doubted Cyclonus cared whether the something-like-guilt was visible.

“Cyclonus,” he greeted.

“Ratchet.” The older of the two offered a polite nod, though his gaze returned to the door.

“What’s going on? Somebody forget something in Fortuna?” Ratchet kept his voice light, curiosity without investment. A change in routine could mean nothing, but by now everyone knew it could also be the start of something weird, dangerous, or a combination of the two. Either way, it would end up among Swerve’s stand-up material.

“New arrival,” Cyclonus said. “Arcee of the Darklands: a tested warrior with a spark that rivaled Galvatron’s.”

Might as well have called herself Foreboding of Doom and saved his declarative archives the search. Ratchet wondered if he should move his departure up.

“Is she here? Did I miss it?”

Rodimus’ panicked shouts preceded his stumble into the hangar. Ratchet greeted him with a pointed look, which he shouldered by simply not noticing it while his gaze darted around the room.

“Not yet, Rodimus,” Hoist announced over the loudspeaker. “We’re just getting the last shuttles cleared for landing.”

“Oh, thank Primus,” Rodimus said, tilting his head back as his fans released a cloud of warm air. “Fantastic.”

“You look like you gunned it to get here,” Ratchet said, waving away the smell of an overheated engine.

“No, that would be speeding, which is definitely against spacetime law,” Rodimus said, straightening to flash Ratchet a deeply unappreciated grin. “I ran. I told Arcee I would be here to meet her, and it would make for a pretty bad impression of the ship if the captain failed to live up to his promise.”

“Don’t you have a hearing to be getting ready for?” Ratchet asked, the question slipping past his censors. Slag. That was not the note he wanted to leave on. The stress of his impending departure was getting to him more than he had realized.

Rodimus shrugged, unaffected.

“Magnus gave me all the materials, just need to read them. Won’t take long.”

That stirred something in Ratchet’s spark.

“Good to know our justice system is under such attentive care.”

“Perhaps this is a conversation that would be better saved for when we are not moments from new introductions,” Cyclonus interjected, his deep bass distracting enough to halt those emotional processes of Ratchet’s that started to loop out of control whenever Rodimus opened his mouth. He set his vocalizer to standby, not trusting it to wait for his command, and wondered whether it would be better to get out sooner. Before his own smart mouth made his worries a reality.

The appearance of the approaching shuttle did not ease his concerns. Starting as a speck above the horizon, all optics were on it as it approached, a little blob of a spacecraft dangling over the city of Fortuna. Big, for a single occupant. Ratchet hoped he was wrong, but he noticed something further odd as it came nearer.

Whirl took care of that loose thread of optimism.

“It’s purple,” he said, with a coy look at Cyclonus, who ignored it with enviable steadiness.

“It’s a Decepticon vessel.” Ratchet had seen enough in his time. After the fall of Tyger Pax, Autobot regulations had outlawed all colors between navy and magenta for ships, and he could think of no other species brazen enough to steer a spacecraft directly into civilian airspace. “Rodimus?”

“Blaster confirmed Arcee’s ident after our call,” Rodimus said. “Bit of a garish choice for a ride, but it’s her.” He had maneuvered himself to the front of the group, standing at the front like he was putting himself on display for an honored guest.

“That is rich, coming from you.”

“Thanks, Ratch,” Rodimus said, casting over his shoulder a wink and a grin before he turned back to face the oncoming ship. Ratchet’s frown deepened and he ignored the way the gesture reminded him of Drift.

He never knew what the bot had seen in Rodimus. Short-sighted, selfish, and with an ego that could have powered the ship if he could have been bothered to contribute that much, Rodimus’ ability to perform feats no one else would attempt meant he was also prone to making mistakes they neither could have imagined. For all the time Ratchet had spent on the Lost Light , he still had no idea the limits of chaos Rodimus was capable of summoning to it, so he let triage and combat protocols idle in the background while they waited.

It was not a nice landing. The thrusters were still burning several hundred feet out, so they all heard the roar of wind buffeting ailerons as the shuttle struggled to slow itself down. It was only by the combined effects of the Lost Light ’s buffeting shield and the shuttle’s reverse engines that they did not suffer a catastrophic collision, and even then, the shuttle bounced as it finally touched down, coming within feet of kissing Huffer’s personal speeder. Ratchet still did not remember to vent as it struggled through taxiing, twice having to reattempt a maneuver as the combined efforts of Hoist, Rodimus, and a group of volunteers guided it to its designated space. Only when the engines finally shut down did Ratchet hear the collective sigh of multiple hydraulics systems releasing their tension.

“Guess Darkland warriors don’t need to know how to drive,” Ratchet muttered. He thought he heard Cyclonus huff, which was enough to get a chuckle out of him.

That was it, though, because in the next moment Rodimus was rushing to the lowering hatch, his spoiler flicking behind him like an insect wing. Ratchet caught a glimpse of a labyrinthine cargo hold before Arcee stepped forward, filling the space, and descended rapidly. He tensed, ready for something else to come charging out from behind her, but besides a look passed between her and Cyclonus nothing immediately hostile revealed itself.

“Welcome to the Lost Light,” Rodimus said, standing aside to let Arcee descend. The hatch raised as soon as she was standing on the Lost Light’s floor, blocking Ratchet’s view again.

“Yes, thank you.” Her tone was clipped, not the melodic veil of sophistication Ratchet had come to associate with Cyclonus, and she scanned the assembled bots with a look of blatant suspicion. Ratchet could relate to that, if nothing else.

He glanced at the purple ship once more while Rodimus led Arcee in the direction of the rec rooms while the rest of the crowd dispersed. Ratchet himself would never believe in anything as a sign or omen, but the sight of the purple plating made old welds ache, and he found his resolve. He would go get a drink. He would attend the hearing. And then, goodbyes or no, he was leaving that night.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 4 Thoughts Part 2

I did part 1 here. Let’s see if part 2 is gonna top that in a positive way or in a negative one.

4x14:

- I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree with Bloom. Musa is moving way too fast in her “crush” on Jason. Not to mention that it looked like things were getting a bit better between her and Riven during the last battle with the Wizards.

- Okay, but Bloom is saying the exact opposite of what happened. She wasn’t scared of being a fairy. She instantly agreed to go with Stella to Alfea and never even for a second stopped to think about that taking her away from home like Roxy is doing. At least Roxy can see that it is possible to balance being a fairy and still doing everyday things.

- Faragonda is really getting on my nerves in this scene. First, she jumps on talking about Roxy attending Alfea without even asking her and then she’s all “She needs time”. Contradictory much? If she needs time, then give it to her. And taking the White Circle is probably not a good idea. From what we saw in 4x01 Alfea teachers were unable to do anything against the Wizards and Roxy used it to defeat them in the previous episode. So Winx and Roxy are literally the only ones that can protect the White Circle and use it. Why send it to Alfea? The Wizards can learn about it and attack the school and there will be no one to stop them. Not to mention that it was the thing that helped defeat them and without it Winx and Roxy are weaker and possibly can’t protect Gardenia.

- The TV crew - “talks about fairies* Stella - “Do you think they might be talking about us?” WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?! Of course they are talking about you! Do you see any other girls flying around in sparkly outfits! It should be illegal for this line to be so stupid considering how short it is.

- So now the Specialists are throwing jabs at each other? I thought Sky and Brandon were the bestest of friends, wtf? And Helia too? Seriously? Can this season not ruin all the good dynamics? At least the Riven and Nabu friendship is still going strong. And Riven is being more open with Nabu while Nabu is giving some quality advice. I like that. Almost makes up for the other bullshit happening with all of them.

- Didn’t the tiger say the ship is leaving soon? And they still decided to wait a whole day to get there? That sounds like an urgent, asap business but yeah, sure. Go chill all day. What could go wrong with that plan?

- Klaus is super chill considering Roxy just brought a tiger home and it’s adorable but shouldn’t they report the whole thing and take the tiger to the proper authorities? I know the magical dimension has no logic whatsoever when it comes to laws and such but they are on Earth now and I am pretty sure it is not legal for Roxy to keep the tiger. Can we have some real world logic here, please?

- Stella and Brandon are so fucking cute when they’re not fighting.

- Damn, Jason even interrupted the breakup talk. Come on! We all know it is not breakup talk but still.

- Yeah, they really fought the most powerful beings of the magical dimension and then lost to two animal smugglers. Nice one, you guys.

- I will never get over the stupidity that fairies being unable to get out of simple ropes on their own is. They have magic for heaven’s sake! Bloom could totally burn the ropes with a little spark! This is super stupid!

- Yes, just release a bunch of wild animals in the middle of a city. Nothing could go wrong with that.

- Why are they exhausted? They literally didn’t do shit! It was just Musa that used her powers! Also, wouldn’t it have made more sense if they used Flora’s special powers? She is the fairy of nature and animals are part of nature. What the hell does the song of one’s heart have to do with how they act towards nature?!

- Omg, why is Musa acting like Jason’s wedding had her heartbroken? She met him three days ago and didn’t know anything about him! He offered to produce her music which is still absolutely doable even if he is married! She’s acting like she’s been in love with him for years and she barely knows him! Besides, she hasn’t lost any of his support and encouragement for her musical career. This is an exaggerated reaction.

4x15:

- Um... aren’t Winx only in Gardenia? This looks like they’ve gone worldwide. Also, since when can Duman do anything that does not involve shapeshifting?

- What the fuck, he just turned into water?!

- Ogron is getting the right idea. Well, right for the Wizards’ plans.

- What is Stella doing? I get she’s tired but she just went in the shop, looked at what all the others were doing and then left?! What the hell???

- *groan* Why are we bringing up the Mitzi thing again? That was already resolved, dammit! I remember Mitzi was part of Ogron’s plan but they could have still had that without reopening drama that they already closed. And even Mitzi’s words are stupid. There is nothing to fight for. Brandon already chose Stella.

- Where did Mitzi’s friends come from all of a sudden? This is exactly like Chimera and her groupies. And Valtor also planned on using her against Stella. *sigh* We have done this already! I feel like they decided to combine the Diaspro and Chimera storylines from last season and push it all on Stella for some reason.

- Wtf? Mitzi and her friends were super scared but then suddenly they follow the Wizards just because of their dislike for Winx? Like, the Wizards didn’t even introduce themselves or anything, they didn’t even give them a reason to follow them. What the hell is the logic of this scene? At least Mitzi’s friends look somewhat genuine since they were all curled up into each other when they got scared and she didn’t try to push them away. Why does she want Brandon if she can have two girlfriends? Brandon is awesome but already taken and she seems to have a cool relationship with her girls already. Oh, look, her girls even have brains! Come on, Mitzi, listen to them!

- I guess Ogron has the power to make fairies now! Though, a better explanation would be that they just gave them magical powers and Duman used his shapeshifting skills to only make them look like fairies to make people hate fairies when Mitzi and her friends start doing stupid stuff.

- Oh, really? Musa now wants Riven back? After her other option was taken away? This is horrible. If the problem was truly that she felt Riven was unsupportive, she shouldn’t want him back unless they fix that. But no, now that Jason is off the table, she wants Riven back even though he allegedly wasn’t good for her. Just say you’re desperate for attention, honey.

- They’re even helping at the bar after the long day they had? If I were them I would just crash on the ground as well the first chance I got.

- At least Bloom only put the lid of the shaft back in place instead of levitating the person.

- It is pretty cool that they show Roxy and Mitzi and her friends training parallel to each other. And the lessons were interesting (I thought the birds were gonna drop Kiko but he got enough when he got hit with that soccer ball). Also, Mitzi really is learning fast if you can say that having common sense counts as learning but considering what they’ve already done in this season, I’ll take it.

- Oh, wow! Mitzi is showing some actual strategical thinking! And she wasn’t blinded by her desire to be better than Winx and instead admitted their weakness in order to defeat them? I am so pleasantly surprised. Less so by the people of Gardenia. Just because someone calls you friend, doesn’t mean that you’re really friends or have anything in common. Please! Can people not fall for everything so easily?!

- Oh, damn! Bloom got physical! She really got mad, huh? And she’s also pretty strong to just flip Mitzi like that.

- It took them that long to figure out that Winx are protecting them? Really? Last time I checked, people were supposed to have stopped believing in magic, not be stupid as all fuck.

- Wait, so Mitzi and her friends don’t remember what happened? And no one is gonna do anything about them? They destroyed a whole park and almost killed people! Did no one see their faces? How come they are not in any legal trouble for this?!

- At least Jason’s wife is not affected by this jealousy plague that has hit all the Winx and the Specialists.

4x16:

- Yeah, I don’t think finding them is going to be a problem. Especially now that they are popular both because of the pet shop and as fairies. The only problem the Wizards have is that they can’t quite defeat them currently.

- I thought Roxy didn’t remember the Nebula possession.

- What are those mood swings of Musa’s? Last episode she instantly went looking for Riven after she learned there could be nothing between her and Jason, now she’s moping about Jason still. Do you even know what you want at this point?

- I don’t think putting the White Circle in the game is a good idea. Can they even keep an eye on it that way? What if the Wizards do something like the Tracix spell and find out the Circle is in the game? What is gonna stop them from taking it? I think Winx underestimate them. But Stella’s reaction to Tecna’s gadgets was super cute! They should have had more friendship moments together.

- Wtf, where did this idea for the music band come from? Also, Bloom just said she needs Musa to give her singing lessons. How come she’s the main vocalist of the band later on? And Flora telling Stella that it’s not easy to perform in front of people? Stella, who already won a beauty pageant? Really? We all know Stella doesn’t give two fucks about being in front of people.

- Riven is communicating so much better with Nabu and even Helia than he is with Musa. I think they never became friends before becoming a couple and that is really getting in the way of truly opening up to each other. At least he has great wingmen.

- Okay, Riven fucked it up but it was obviously an accident. And Musa didn’t even appreciate his attempt. In fact, her reactions to his attempts to be better are always so negative and, therefore, discourage him from ever doing it again. I’m surprised he still wants to do things right by her after all the times she’s acted like a bitch because his attempts were not quite successful. She doesn’t appreciate his efforts at all if the outcome is not perfect.

- See? I told you they would find it. Winx really underestimated them a lot this time. And if they were gonna stay in town, why not just carry the Circle with them? This was a stupid plan.

- Klaus is a very understanding employer if he still hasn’t fired the Specialists after they keep disappearing like that for undetermined amounts of time. Though, I think after learning about the fairy business, it is natural that he will be a bit more lenient when he knows what dangers they are battling.

- Helia really do be beating monsters with just a glove, huh?

- Aww, look at Timmy being absolutely amazing!

- Couldn’t they use the Zoomix wings without the need for Musa’s sonic distortion? It didn’t seem to do that much anyway.

- Why did they let go of the Circle and where did it go? Couldn’t Roxy have done something to keep it with them? It responds to her the most. Oh, they have it.

- At least Musa apologized to Riven. Her reaction to the chocolates was really stupid so I’m glad she rethought all of that. Even though I don’t understand why Nabu had to be the one to tell her what Riven was doing. I thought it was obvious.

4x17:

- How many times are they gonna leave Kiko in charge when they know the pets don’t listen to him? Also, didn’t they already spoil the fact that the fairies are trapped and the White Circle is the last portal to free them in a recap in one of the earlier episodes?

- Wait, since when are the pets listening to Kiko?

- The Book of Fairies? Is that the Believix book? How many things are in that book? It doesn’t look endless.

- Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility shoved on Roxy’s shoulders. But did they seriously leave her? How do they plan on freeing the Earth fairies without her?

- Well, they’re going to have to use some spells in order to get out of their predicaments whether they like it or not. Also, is it the island that has been enchanted by the Wizards to take care of fairies? Is that what is happening here? Because I don’t think the Wizards are there at the current moment.

- If they can’t use their magic, free climbing will be dangerous, not fun.

- Yes, of course, Bloom can break the spell over herself like none of the others were able to.

- Well, Bloom got her unicorn/pegasus in Magical Adventure. But can’t Musa do something about the sirens’ song?

- Finally. Both about Musa and freeing the Earth fairies. Tecna and Stella make quite a great team, though!

- Bloom really just called a queen “Your Highness”. I know she didn’t grow up a princess but she must have learned by now from Stella and Layla (and even her own parents who are free at this point) what the proper way to address a queen/king is.

- When is Morgana gonna tell Roxy that she’s her mom? Does she even remember? They didn’t erase her memories like with Klaus’, right? I thought she would be mad at Nebula for possessing her daughter but there was no reaction whatsoever.

4x18:

- How did they jump from “Shit, we might have doomed Earth” to “Yay, we’re becoming an official band” so quickly? And even Roxy was on board with all that even though she was being torn apart by guilt earlier. Drama would have been more proper here than in any of the other places they have used it this season. Also, what is it that makes Musa such a professional musician compared to the others? It’s not like she has her own songs produced or anything. And Stella said she plays a lot of instruments. Plus, if a musical producer liked them, then that means that they are all more than just amateurs.

- At least the new outfits are cute. And the boys are totally swept off their feet. XD

- Ugh, just tell me Sky is not going to go into jealousy rage again. And why do he and Brandon keep making digs at each other? They are supposed to be the eternal bromance. And Riven too? I thought we were over this!

- It’s Flora time by the looks of it. I have to say that the idea of Winx fighting the Major Fairies is really good because the fairies’ powers come from hatred while Winx’ powers come from the belief of humans in magic so by defeating the fairies, Winx get to show that faith and love are always stronger. That was well thought up. I only hope the execution will be decent as well.

- Seriously, Flora is their trump card in this situation and even she can’t fight? Nabu is being totally awesome, though! Even if a bit of a Deus Ex Machina.

- Well, of course, Diana is in the park. Where would a nature fairy go? Is anyone shocked by this?

- These carnivore plants look different from the usual. But they really left the guys go after Diana even though they couldn’t do anything against her with their magic? And Timmy was worried about the monsters that are obviously much weaker than Diana? Great.

- Tecna is rocking this as usual. But of course, there is a giant spider. Every. Single. Time.

- Did Sky really order Diana to stop? Has his coronation gotten to his head? I am surprised she didn’t snap at that very instant.

- Why is Nabu literally the only one that is handling this? He is the only one that is not a Specialist and it looks like all they’re Specialists in is jealousy. It’s because of the magic, right? Look at them say that people without magic are useless.

- What exactly are Nabu’s powers? Because he seems to be able to do everything.

- Yes, Mike, anger the oversized spider more! What a wonderful idea! At least we know where Bloom got her temper. Not that she didn’t have enough of it already in her genes from both Oritel and Marion but I’m sure growing up with Mike only nurtured it instead of inhibiting it.

- Lmao at Mike and Stella’s conversation. XD He is right, though. At this rate, they’ll destroy the whole building.

- Yeah, Musa blasted it but what was Tecna doing? Just standing under the spider and screaming? Please, she is better than this!

- What does Roxy mean “It’s not [her] type of pet”? She’s the fairy of animals! That means all animals, not just the furry, cute ones.

- I don’t think teleportation is gonna solve all the problems. As an on-the-spot solution for the spider situation it is okay but they still need to figure out a way to beat Diana. Nabu’s been holding her off while the seven of them can’t even defeat a single spider.

- Aww, that scene was pretty emotional. Between Nabu’s guilt for not saving the others and Musa’s feelings for Riven, it got intense. And the plot is getting more intense as well which is awesome!

4x19:

- Wait, wait! They just gave them the Sophix Gifts? Didn’t Winx have to accomplish some missions to get them? Or do they receive them before the mission to finish it with the help of the Gifts?

- I thought Stella would freak when she saw the snake but she just petted it like it was a puppy. That was adorable!

- That vision told them fuckall. Like they weren’t gonna take that path anyway. What was the point of it?

- Hideout? This is not a hideout! It looks more like a temple. But hideout would imply it should be hidden and it just... isn’t.

- Okay, the Earth fairies have a point to some extent and Flora feeling the pain of the plants could have been a good way to show forgiveness since Diana is bound to feel the same pain, only, she has let it turn her dark. And then Winx could use the Believix powers with help from the Earth fairies to stop humans from destroying the planet... Which they can still do. Hopefully.

- Again, aren’t they only famous in Gardenia? Why does Stella think that deforestators in the Amazonian jungle will know who they are?

- So there’s not gonna be any actual transformation for the Sophix? They just change their outfits and wings. At least the gifts look cool even though they probably won’t get to use them much. It would have been even better if the warrior fairies would just think for themselves instead of listen to Diana like they don’t have their own brains.

- At least Musa and Riven are getting somewhere. Still not good enough but it’s better than the previous few episodes.

- I thought the Sophix powers were supposed to defeat Diana. How are they gonna do that if they can’t even defeat this other fairy that is surely weaker than her? And they already considered the possibility of it being a trap so why did they fall for it so easily?

4x20:

- Why is the recap implying that Roxy is with them in Amazonia when she stayed behind?

- Flora is getting fired up because of the plants again which I like but it would have been better if it actually allowed her to break out of the chains instead of all of them waiting to be rescued. Also, you have to love how Diana cares more about the source of her power rather than the destruction of the very forest that is her domain.

- Bloom: Let’s destroy it. *3 seconds later* Bloom: Destruction is not the solution to anything. Well, good thing your mood swings were from bad to good mood this time. Also, how do they imagine they are going to protect the bud from anyone that wants to hurt it if they ever want to go back home? Keeping that promise would mean living there for the rest of their lives. Why is this dialogue so decidedly not thought out?

- I thought that thanks to Sophix Winx are now completely connected with nature. What happened with that? I know Diana is the fairy of nature but so is Flora! She should be able to do something here and they should at least be equals with advantage to Winx because they’re more (we don’t count the warrior fairies because we all know that they don’t matter).

- Convenient how feeling nature suffering only happens sometimes and just with close range destruction. If Diana was feeling every tree that was cut down, she shouldn’t have been able to stand on her feet by now. This is bullshit and so is the fact that Flora is not any more useful than any of the other Winx right now. At least Nabu is being awesome again aka doing everyone else’s jobs.

- Great! Now both Flora and Diana are useless.

- Aww, finally we get some fangirling from Stella over Brandon again! I have missed this and it was about damn time. How could they trade this perfection for all the stupid jealousy drama in this season?

- If Diana is the fairy of nature, she should be damn near immortal and in order to destroy her, you should destroy all nature first. This is absolute nonsense. They cut down two trees and now she’s in mortal danger. Some fucking fairy of nature. Please!

- Now Diana went from completely useless to ridiculously and over the top so. If the Major Fairy of nature can’t cure the bud, then what is she even good for, really? This whole episode is bullshit on top of other bullshit.

- Really? There wasn’t even a good moment of revelation. Winx did a lot but it wasn’t their actions that changed her mind, it was the native people and that was just... a bit underwhelming. This could have been done so much better. *sigh*

- “Gift of Wisdom,” they say like there was any wisdom in what happened here. If anything, there was empathy and just general common sense from Winx who were aware of the fact that just because some people do bad things, it doesn’t mean that all people are evil. There is no wisdom in that. Nothing even remotely smart in any of this.

- At least Musa and Riven finally fixed their shit! Riven was being absolutely adorable! He really has his jerk moments but he is awesome and so underappreciated. And all the other couples were adorable as well! Though, I have to say that I love the fact that Bloom accidentally implied that Layla and Nabu are a better couple than her and Sky. XD Thanks, writers! (even if they quickly rebutted that idea with the next dialogue exchange) I will be forever salty about the fact that they didn’t let Layla have the wedding she was so worried about organizing. She is so invested in it and so in love with Nabu and they just... they just went and killed him.

4x21:

- Seriously? Andy and his band barely showed up and the guys already started acting like everything was ruined? When will this be over? I am so sick of it, especially after it was already made super clear that they have nothing to worry about. And how are Winx getting produced so fast? They literally got a producer the same day they formed their band. This does not follow any actual logic.

- Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Suddenly they’re all super talented in music. Of course. And why is Musa acting like she hasn’t been in Jason’s studio before? Come on, writers! That was a big moment of drama for her and Riven. If you insist on shoving jealousy everywhere, at least remember the details around it and stop contradicting yourselves!

- I am pretty sure they also mentioned the musical contest already in a previous episode so they are repeating themselves... again. Can we get back to the Major Fairies? At least things are happening there.

- All their performances have been live! He’s already seen how they do live shows! This is really getting on my nerves.

- Since when is a music band their dream?!?!?!?! And why are the boys being so fucking jealous all over again?!?!?!?! Just. Move. The fuck. ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Great! And now suddenly we went from Bloom and Musa being vocalists to only Bloom even though Musa is THE FUCKING FAIRY OF MUSIC! This episode is testing my patience. Actually, the previous episode did that. This one is running it fucking thin!

- Well, fucking finally! I was wondering when the Wizards were gonna show up again, and this is getting interesting. Though, Ogron kneeling in front of Bloom is just a bit too theatrical for me to not start suspecting that they have a play here. Even if they are truly weakened, that doesn’t mean that they don’t plan on taking advantage of having Winx fight their battle to get their powers back and come out on top again.

- Yep, there was a physical Black Circle, after all. It was just too lame for them not to do it. And they aren’t even going to explain how in the hell all the Wizards’ power is contained in it. The White Circle is a portal (and one of many at that) but the Black Circle is more like the Agathor Box and contains all the Wizards’ power? Yeah, right. None of this checks out. Again.

- Somehow I have a feeling that since the Wizards are with them, they are going to draw attention in one way or another.

- Okay, Winx pushing the Wizards out of harm’s way was actually kinda funny but it just makes the Wizards look fucking incompetent without their magic. Like, please, they are centuries old! They certainly have the common sense of moving out of the way of a boulder that will crush them! And they’re acting like what Winx did was some kind of impossible feat when it was just basic survival instinct. There isn’t much philosophy to “jump out of the way of the thing that can kill you”. Can we stop acting like they solved the biggest mysteries of the universe? But I trust the Wizards less and less the nicer they act.

- I am also getting sick of them acting like the Gift of Heart is landing them some magical levels of courage when any person would have done the exact same things even without magic.

- Well, now the Specialists just seem to have general anger management issues even if those guys were truly annoying as hell in the 10 seconds they had on screen.

- For a second there I thought Morgana would possess Roxy like Nebula did but, thankfully, she didn’t. She’s trying to save her daughter. Which I think would work much better if she told her she was her mom. But anyway, I agree with her this time. Her quest for vengeance and Winx’ attempts to save humankind aside, it is obvious that the Wizards are not being honest about this and will use the first opportunity to turn things in their favor again. They might even be trying to kill Sybila by having Winx get them to her because they can’t reach her on their own.

- And here I thought they couldn’t transform. But of course, they can! It would have been much more interesting if Winx had had to use the Black Circle because their Believix powers weren’t working.

- That was it? I expected more from that battle. And it could have been a test to see if their intentions were good aka having them protecting the Wizards be the part that would prove they only want to help everyone. But it was all over before it began. What even was the point of it?

- Aww, the Specialists are going to play to buy Winx some time. Lmao it would be super stupid if they got chosen for winners instead of Winx and it would probably create more drama. But I think it would have been cooler if Nabu had used his magic to make them all look like their girlfriends and win the first place for them. XD It was cool to see Riven do something like that, though. And he’s singing!

- Tests, my ass. Those were barely any tests. They have been through so much worse back when they were freshmen in Alfea and they also handled it better back then despite being significantly weaker in power.

- Seriously, Stella? Are your comprehension skills damaged or something? Handling the mission without help from magic actually makes you braver, you stupid idiot! And I am so happy that it wasn’t the Gift of Heart in action because that would have made it really underwhelming.

- Yeah, so the Wizards are obviously gonna do some shit here because we all know what happens before the end of this season. But the musical contest was saved. Because that is the most important thing in their lives, apparently.

- I was worried Musa was going to be a bitch about this but they solved this quickly. Good. My tolerance for drama is running out and there are still five episodes left of this season. And Musa was also singing along with Bloom. (I’ll take what I can get since even that will be gone soon.)

- Does Jason know that they’re fairies (which he should) and, more importantly, can he produce them in the rest of the magical dimension? That would have been fun to see. Imagine you are a musical producer and suddenly these fairies appear. They’re good and you sign a contract with them and next thing you know, you’re being taken to different planets because they also want to sing there and your business is suddenly interdimensional. That would have been a good thing to add to this whole ridiculous subplot with the musical band.

4x22:

- Oh, damn! Aurora looks pretty powerful! I just hope that they will do more with her than they did with Diana. And she also seems smart, too, as she came up with the idea of wanting the Wizards as ransom. At least the Fairies of Vengeance haven’t lost it enough to attack Sybila.

- Aww, Tecna’s dress is awesome! I love it!

- Why did they just go separate ways if they were trying to come up with a name for the band. What, are they gonna give up after one suggestion? And can we, please, have someone else other than Bloom come up with the name? Like Musa maybe?

- Oh, yeah, another Ice Age is gonna be a great surprise for their future and an awesome start to their musical career! (But damn, why are Layla and Nabu so cute? Also, wtf is up with Musa? One second she acts like she is totally in love with Riven (she even said he already has her) and then she says she needs to think. Well, if you’re gonna think, think before you say things like that!)

- Okay, but what are the Earth fairies going to do after they destroy Earth? This seems a little counterproductive, just saying.

- I knew the Wizards were planning something. I just can’t tell if Duman was actually hurt or they did it on purpose to be more convincing. However, I think I saw somewhere that he dies in the end of the season so that would suggest that it wasn’t the other Wizards that had him spelled to appear so weak. But damn, they almost looked genuinely worried for him in the beginning there!

- Oh, so Amazonia was too dangerous for Roxy but now that the end of the world is coming up, she can suddenly go to the very center of that shitstorm? Wow, great logic there.

- Yes, good thing that this is happening on Earth so that it can get destroyed rather than the magical dimension.

- Morgana’s strategy here is not very smart. Does she think that she is going to win Roxy over by killing her friends? I know she’s a bit blinded by rage and thirst for vengeance right now but it should click that that will not be in her favor.

- “Well done”? She didn’t hit anything! You’d think that Musa’s sonic waves will be very useful against ice monsters (especially since we’ve seen her shatter Icy’s ice shards with them already)... that is, if she can actually hit any of the monsters with them, which she didn’t. Bloom and Stella’s powers should also be very useful in this situation, yet they somehow seem to not be giving it their all here... And suddenly they got overzealous.

- “Three days ago”? Wtf, Aurora definitely did not launch her attack that long ago. They can’t even keep a solid timeline in one single episode. *exasperated sigh*

- Ah, so brainwashing the polar bears is what Roxy is here for. There were plenty of animals in Amazonia, too, but they benched her on that one. Anyway, I am glad they didn’t fight the bears.

- The Lovix transformation is really annoying me. They couldn’t draw something that is actually appropriate for the cold weather. Obviously they aren’t cold in their fairy forms but if you’re gonna give it fur to make it look warm and wintery, you can actually make it look like something that someone without magic would realistically wear in the winter.

- At least now Bloom and Stella are actually utilizing the advantage of their elements. But Flora is again only using her ivy and it is getting boring. All that magic at her disposal and she uses the same type of attack (even if they give the spells different names) all the time. You might wanna update your repertoire. And wtf was up with Roxy’s attack? Why would blasting at the fairies feet make them fall? Their wings would be the center of their mass so pushing at their feet wouldn’t have much of an effect. Or at least it shouldn’t have because they are flying and not walking but someone in the crew there did not get the memo.

- What do you mean that there is no way out? If there is a way in, there is at least one way out. Also, if you’re at the center of a maze, there should be many paths you can take even if they only temporarily serve as an escape.

- Roxy just used Morgana’s plan of getting rid of only Winx against her. That was great! I am starting to think that she is the only one with a brain here and needs some new mentors because hers might teach her their own stupidity.

- Seriously, they didn’t do that much. They did fight the ice monsters but other than that, their lack of braincells is just astounding. At least this was a little better than the last episode with Sybila’s cave.

- I have to agree with Aurora, they do catch up a little too late. However, Morgana said that no harm should come upon Roxy and they just left Roxy in danger of freezing to death. I’m sure she didn’t mean “make Winx choose between my daughter and mankind”. Hopefully, this will bring out some sense in her.

4x23:

- How is this not putting Roxy in danger? What the fuck did Morgana tell them?! Why is Nebula doing the exact opposite of keeping Roxy safe? Don’t let a hair from her head fall means not let her freeze to death as well! If I were Morgana, I would stop wasting my time on vengeance and take care of my daughter!

- Since when can’t the Earth fairies enter Sybila’s cave?!?!?!?! That is definitely not the reason why they didn’t want to go against her in the previous episode. They just wanted to avoid getting on the wrong side of her. Not to mention that ROXY ENTERED SYBILA’S CAVE! AND SHE IS A TERRESTRIAL FAIRY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AT THIS POINT, WRITERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

- Can you shut up with the responsibility speech and start doing something? You’re losing precious seconds!

- Why the fuck is she angering Nebula? Yes, let’s fight while Roxy is fucking freezing to death! And why don’t they just use the Zoomix wings and teleport away?!?!?! It is Aurora’s magic that is freezing over the world. They need to find her. Why are they wasting their time on Nebula anyway?

- And now they’re trapped. How is finding out what Morgana’s relation to Roxy is going to help them at this very moment? I get that they don’t have many other options (or any) but that does not sound like it will grant them a way out. Also, I am pretty sure Bloom was not actually there during the fight she was talking about when Roxy noticed the other fairies weren’t attacking her. Been a few days since I watched that but I am pretty sure Bloom and Stella stayed behind to hold off the ice monsters and weren’t there for Bloom to make the observation she is now stating. Unless Roxy somehow telepathically told her about it, SHE CAN’T KNOW! There hasn’t been a single thing about this episode that is not frustrating so far.

- Bloom managed to buy you time, my ass. She managed to get you trapped when you could have just teleported away! You call that a good move?!

- Yes, just kidnap Roxy. For a moment there I really thought she would. But damn, why can’t she listen to her own daughter? Roxy has been on Earth for the last sixteen years that she missed. I think between the two of them Roxy knows better how humans are.

- What does it matter if it’s an ice rink when they’re going to be flying over it anyway?

- What, that was it? One shot and they’re done? Please, tell me Bloom is going to do something any moment because this episode is gonna make me lose it otherwise!

- What the fuck exhausted them? They haven’t even been fighting for a minute! Nebula is supposed to be super strong and Bloom has the fucking Dragon Fire! If this is all they can do, we need new characters because these just became a fucking joke.

- Nebula is acting like the people gave up on them the second they disappeared which is definitely not what happened and I don’t know what she expected. That people are going to believe in creatures that no one can prove exist until the end of times?

- I get that the Lovix is meant for cold environments but Bloom’s power is the Dragon Fire and she’s been using only ice magic. That’s not how her powers are supposed to work.

- Didn’t Bloom summon her Dragon Fire? Why are there SNOWFLAKES coming out of her hands?!?!?!?!

- Well, at least Morgana has some sense left. Not a lot, but some.

- They don’t need her portal, they have stupid teleportation wings!

- Oh, no. Nabu will be dying soon. And they even had Layla reacting to the Black Gift to foreshadow it. God, I hate this!

- Well, for being one of the Major Fairies, Aurora certainly didn’t do shit.

- Why was there all of that wondering about Morgana’s relation to Roxy when they didn’t make any progress on that front at all?! It was very misplaced especially considering the gravity of the situation it was happening in.

- God, I really hate the writers right now. They really included that scene with Nabu telling Layla everything is going to be fine as long as they’re together right before killing him? That is EVIL!

- We all agree that this ring moment there means that Stella and Brandon are now engaged, right? I mean, it would make sense that he’d want to show her she is the only one for him after all the jealousy bullshit in this season.

4x24:

- Riiiiight. The Wizards seem so dangerous without their powers... Oh, wait! We’ve never actually seen them do anything without their powers. And they needed Winx to rescue them from the falling rocks instead of just following their innate survival instincts and ducking out of the way. Sure, seem real dangerous to me.

- Was that a portal Nabu just opened? And why can’t he try the magic at Sybila’s cave? Why do they need to go to Gardenia when he could just do it there?

- Yep, it’s a portal. He’s never opened portals before but sure he can do it now all of a sudden!

- Didn’t they have to go underground last time to open the gate to Tir Nan Og? But of course, who needs consistency? On anything.

- Yes, the Wizards were going to be defeated by a flock of crows. Damn, how dangerous they are!

- The Circle is the door to the black abyss? What the hell does that mean?!

- Wait... Their wings grew back after the Wizards cut them off?! Wow. Way to make none of this lasting. Yes, they were trapped for centuries but if anything, that gave their wings time to grow back. Even if they’d been free, it would have still sucked without wings and it could have diminished their power greatly to the point where they wouldn’t have been much more than ordinary humans. Honestly, the writers are running from writing proper trauma and consequences of it every single time except the one when they killed off Nabu and then let it stick. THAT was what they should have taken back! The fairies would have been much more terrifying without wings and drawing into their nature powers to the point of starting to destroy Earth in order to compensate for the magic taken away from them and defeat the Wizards. But nope, they got their wings back.

- I wonder if Morgana would have still been quite as welcoming of Roxy if she weren’t her daughter. Considering the way she instantly went against Winx in the name of her revenge despite the fact that they saved her, I’m gonna say no.

- Nabu is basically the alternative medicine guy you turn to when doctors keep stuffing you with meds without actually having any idea what they are trying to do aka curing the symptoms, not the disease. But is this the confirmation that Duman did this on his own? He purposefully used his powers so much as to appear sick and make the Wizards look more sympathetic? Cause they kinda went off the radar and there was no reason for him to have been shapeshifting so much otherwise. Edit: yep, he did it to himself.

- And the Nabu and Riven bromance is going on strong. Makes me even madder that they killed him off.

- Lmao, they really believed the Wizards though. I was gonna say this was the dumbest thing they’ve ever done but they’ve done plenty of dumb things. Also, don’t tell me - Nabu’s sudden ability to open portals will be used now to warn the fairies.

- Did Nabu just perform an exorcism that ended up killing Duman? Damn, talk about harsh.

- “They must be at the castle” really narrows this down. Also, why tf is Morgana acting like the Black Circle is the ring she’s always wanted? If it were me, I would make sure it never sees the light of day again if it couldn’t be destroyed. But since they said that there were other White Circles that were destroyed, then the Black Circle can probably be destroyed as well. So fucking destroy it already!

- Yeah, these guardian fairies are definitely doing a great job.

- Is he trying to trap them again? Didn’t he already try that? He’s just upgraded it a little bit now but do we really believe there won’t be any coming back for all these fairies? Let me guess, no one important will actually get sucked in then.

- Yes, Tecna, we couldn’t tell that the vortexes suck you into a dimension of hell. Thanks for your input.

- Oh, damn! Nabu sucking the entire abyss into his staff was super epic and some finale level moment, I have to say. I am surprised they didn’t save it up for then.

- “These eyes, Layla, mustn’t cry”?????? What kind of epic goodbye is that?!?!?! How could they break my heart so much?!?!??!?! I am fucking crying over here!!!!!

- “These eyes will never cry again.” Well, maybe but I am fucking bawling over here! And Ogron... that was the biggest dick move anyone in the entire series has ever pulled. And of course, Layla is the one suffering from this. @ the writers - Leave her the fuck alone!!!!!!!

- “Until he wakes up again”? Isn’t he dead? Does she mean reincarnation? Wtf does that line mean??????

- I hate Layla’s decision. Not just because she instantly switched over to revenge which is really... I don’t want to say hypocritical but that’s what it was. She’s been fighting the Earth fairies for a couple of episodes now because she didn’t believe they were right to seek revenge but once she is in pain and wronged, suddenly revenge is the answer to everything. And the fact that she abandoned her friends so easily almost makes it look like she’s choosing love over friendship which is just so tired. Not to mention that she knows very well Nabu wouldn’t have wanted her to turn hateful. I know we can’t help our feelings, but we can help our actions because we have control of those. She didn’t have to jump on revenge train after she’s been fighting the Earth fairies from doing the same.

4x25:

- If Riven doesn’t throw a fit over this, it would be OOC. But until then I’ll take him crying. As sad as this is, I love that he just reacts so openly to Nabu’s death because they were really close. (Also, yes, Bloom, we know you never thought any of you could die. If it had occurred to you that it was possible, you all would have made smarter choices. Hopefully.)

- Layla is being absolutely baffling. She left her friends but then she asks if they need Morgana’s permission to do something that she knows Morgana will never let them do.

- Didn’t Roxy’s dream sort of imply that Morgana got trapped in the mirror? As if it is some sort of gateway which would leave her “close but far away”? Or was that not a dream and we didn’t see Roxy’s dream, she just retold it?

- How the fuck does Sky know that about the Hall? When has he been in the castle? When has he read the Book of Fairies (which I don’t think even had a layout of the Tir Nan Og castle)? This doesn’t make sense!

- Well, Morgana did not choose her court well. They turned against her instead of being loyal just because they don’t like her decision. Honestly, if they aren’t going to take orders, why even be there?

- Wow, Bloom gave a really good argument. We could have used a mic drop over here!

- The writers have already proven they don’t care about semantics but the Wizards are Nabu’s killers/murderers, not assassins. Assassination requires political motives. That was pure cruelty.

- Wow, Layla is really the one being all “you replaced me” even though she was the one who left! Not to mention that it’s not like they only now invited Roxy to be one of them. They said she was with them way back in the first half of the season and Roxy has earned her place with them since she never abandoned them even though she knew that could put her in danger as well.

- Winx are being surprisingly wise about this. Excluding Layla, that is. Although I have to say that when they thought Tecna died in season 3, they were all on board with revenge against Valtor even though he was less directly responsible for that than the Wizards were for Nabu’s death. Hopefully, that’s what made them learn because they almost died back then.

- Wow, Roxy didn’t even question Morgana being her mom for a moment. I know she’s felt connected to her but she’s never known anything about her mom and finally learning who she is doesn’t evoke any more reaction than “cereal for breakfast” would.

- Love how Tecna isn’t having any traumatic memories triggered by being back in the Omega dimension where she almost died!

- Yes, Layla. Get yourself killed as well. I know you don’t care but there are other people who loved you besides Nabu and who you still love. At least all the other fairies besides Nebula stepped down. But Morgana’s move to just ask them to come home and even offer to abdicate was really touching.

4x26:

- Can I just say how lame it is to call 4x26 “Ice and Fire” when 1x26 was “Fire and Ice”?

- Wasn’t Anagan the fast one? Literally super speed. How come he’s the first one to run out of energy to run? It is literally his magical power and specialty!

- Layla and Nebula should stop blasting stuff because they’ll either run out of magic or cause a cave in. Either way, they’ll boost up the chances of their own death.

- Ogron can still absorb powers. Didn’t that disappear at some point? Also, why were they running if they were perfectly capable of defeating Layla and Nebula?

- Does this mean that Layla will stop with the vengeance agenda and come back to the club? Please!

- Aaaaand they caused a cave in! Wow, didn’t see that coming! Also, the only reason the Wizards hid in Omega was so that the final battle wouldn’t destroy Tir Nan Og or Gardenia and they get delivered to the prison dimension where they belong instantly! In fact, they delivered themselves. Someone just had to deep freeze them.

- Yeah, right. Nebula suddenly changed her mind. Like, there was no trigger to this change or reason behind it. If Morgana’s speech didn’t touch her, then nearly getting herself and Layla killed shouldn’t have had much more effect. The writers should have left her there as a way for her to ensure the Wizards will never get free. It would have made more sense for her character at this point since she was the one that gave up on being the fairy of peace. Someone else could have taken that one on.

- What did Morgana mean by “release your magic”? They didn’t give it up, did they? Only let it imbue the world again and work in harmony with it once more, right?

- Eh, did Nebula really deserve being queen after her horrible judgment that could have cost the lives of all the fairies? And she only changed her mind once the Wizards were defeated. What would have happened if they’d gotten away? She probably would have still chased them. Also, does this mean Roxy is not the princess of Tir Nan Og anymore? She certainly is too young and inexperienced to rule and she didn’t want to be a fairy (though that is probably resolved by now) but maybe one day she’ll want to be the fairy queen. Though, I think Nebula won’t have a problem with that. How long do Earth fairies live, though? Because they’ve been saying they have been trapped for centuries.

- Tbh Morgana had the most reason to be mad considering the family the Wizards took away from her but I am glad she chose to put her efforts towards said family rather than revenge.

- They really forgot about the pets? Stella is really gonna throw a fit this time. But there is no rest from the pets and the business.

- If the pets form a music band, I will throw a fit.

- Oh, wow! Sky remembered his royal duties and the Specialists are actually still going to school? You’d think they would’ve thrown them out by now. Though, I guess this was an official mission.

- It must have been really tough on Layla to tell Nabu’s parents about his death instead of their wedding.

- Faragonda showed up? I cannot believe it! But why the hell would Roxy decide to go to Alfea right now? She just got her mother and they have so much catching up to do. Besides, Morgana can certainly teach her all there is to being a fairy considering how she was the queen of all Earth fairies.

- Are the girls really thinking they can balance a business, a musical career and being guardians of the magical dimension? This is not ambitious. It is madness. Also, they never picked a name for the band, did they?

- I am surprised by how long they took to wrap this season up. At least it paid off as they managed to cover all the things that needed covering after the last battle. Some better than others but it was decent as far as endings go.

This season suffered from some major pacing issues. The first half dragged along too much with the tons of jealousy and relationship drama that took up screen time that could have been used for something productive instead and the second half could have used more time to flesh out some plot points and use some characters and situations to their full potential. There was definitely way too much going on in this season with the pet shop, the music band, the relationship drama, the Wizards of the Black Circle, Roxy and the Earth Fairies. They could have easily cut the band and the romantic drama to give the important elements time to shine. The Wizards were used very chaotically in the first half of the season and nearly disappeared from the second half. The battle with the Major Fairies could have definitely used more space and better utilization of some of the fairies (aka Aurora). There was some good action but even that lacked logic at a lot of points. There was too much going on in terms of magical transformations in this season but that was balanced somewhat well and was probably the best done part of the whole season. I will never forgive the crime that killing off Nabu was because it was just unnecessary.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 6x07 - Details

Okay, let's talk details. Even aside from the major and obvious parallel I talked about yesterday, there were quite a few smaller Beth symbols throughout the episode.

***As always, spoilers for 6x07 abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

The first one was right in the opening shot. We see a deer being eaten by walkers and the camera zooms in closely on the deer's face and the eye. So, deer symbolism which points to both taxidermy elements of the episode, but also, deer symbolism = Beth. Which is important because of the Dakota both parallel, and it focuses in on the eye. (Sirius Symbolism).

When Strand and Samuels ride ahead to try and figure out what happened to Terry, there's a tree fallen across the road. And it's obvious that someone cut it down. (Turns out to be Morgan.) But we’ve seen this kind of symbolism around Beth proxies a lot. We saw fallen trees in 5x10 after the storm, and right before the music box woke up. We also saw one in 6x14, just before Denise died. And obviously she was a big Beth proxy two. So, I seeing one in this episode right before Dakota goes missing is important.

After they discover Dakota is gone, Strand says, "only one person matters right now and she's gone." So more of the “gone” symbolism and an echo of Daryl's, "she's just gone," from 4x16.

As I said yesterday, Ed's hunting lodge sort of gave me white cabin vibes from the missing S5 scenes. When Alicia sneaks in, she crawls under a chain and squeezes through the door it's holding shut. I reminded me a lot of Daryl and Carol doing that and consumed, which was when they were looking for Beth.

I’ll say it again, but the animals we see stuffed inside also symbols we see used a lot. The bear (bear symbolism), a bird of some kind. I'm not sure what kind it is. But it does kind of remind us of the blackbirds in the opening credits of TWD. A bobcat (cat symbolism associated with Daryl) and, of course, more deer. Later in the episode, we also see a boar’s head. (Pig Symbolism).

Alicia finds Ed working on a walker which is strapped to his table in his basement. The whole set up reminded me a lot of the funeral home from Alone. Just having a body on a table like that and the fact that it was a walker, not a human.

The songs playing are “Tonight You Belong to Me,” and “Jeepers Creepers.” I won’t go into either of them too much, but look up the lyrics. The first is about belonging to someone for a short time and the moonlight. The second is all about a person’s eyes. And both mention the dawn. So yeah, we can definitely read into those. ;D

I probably shouldn't read into this too much, but the names used in this episode definitely caught my attention. First, there's Ed. Carol's abusive ex-husband was named Ed. I'm not saying that has anything to do with Beth, but they could've used in the name of the world, right? And they used a name well known in the fandom due to Carol's arc. Next is that he had a daughter named Emily. Again, I'm not saying they're necessarily trying to use that as some sort of TD/return symbolism, but it was just a little jarring to actually hear Emily's name come up in this episode when there such a huge Beth parallel in it.

Ed asks if either of them plays chess and then he plays Dakota. We’ve talked about chess before. There are a lot of reasons that they may use it as TD symbolism. For one thing, the Queen is all-important in chess. It's also a strategic game, where players are lost periodically throughout. Which might be the writer's way of symbolizing all the characters who have been lost. We saw it heavily around the governor, in the two episodes in S-4 where he had a lot of parallels.

While Ed and Dakota play chess, was also a record playing. (No lyrics in this song, though.) He says, “Queen’s Gambit.” I’m not much of a chess player so I had to look that up. Aside from the mini-series that’s currently popular on Netflix, it’s a well-known chess move. Feel free to look it up on Wikipedia yourself, but let’s just say that it smacks strongly of a prisoner exchange.

Ed turns the music on loudspeakers to draw walkers in. Obviously a music theme, but it specifically ties to things like The Big Spot in 4x01, or Operation Lead the Walkers Away in S6. They did this more recently in S10 to lead the Whisperer horde away from the hospital.

Ed has an interesting line when he's explaining himself to Alicia. He's trying is tell her that everything is his fault. That it's his fault his family died, etc. He makes a point of saying, "I created them, but I couldn't control them."

I feel like this is an important theme. I'm not sure where it's leading yet, but I'm wondering if there will end up being a reveal that the virus was man-made and then got out of control. Or maybe it will have something to do with the helicopter group. I don't know. But it felt like a mic-drop moment, and like something we should remember going forward.

Also? At Grady, Joan said something similar to this to Dawn. “You can’t control them,” speaking, presumably, of the officers.

Then of course Morgan shows up, saying that he heard the music. I talked about how suspicious I am about Morgan showing up at the end of this and what it might mean for Beth yesterday.

We also learned that, had Alicia's original plan to exchange Dakota for her and Charlie being released worked, she was planning on taking them back to the stadium. That caught my ear because there's been a lot of talk recently about Madison's return. You wouldn’t think she would still be at the stadium, but you never know. Maybe she is. After all the talk in the fandom about it lately, I just couldn't help but side-eye that a little bit. 

Then Alicia and Morgan quarrel about what to do with Dakota. The thing that jumped out about this part is that Morgan basically wants to do another prisoner exchange, exchanging Dakota for the others in his group (presumably June and Daniel). They don't actually end up doing it, but it was sort of a nod to Grady.

 We also learned that Morgan was the one who attacked the convoy, trying to get a hold of Dakota so he could use her as leverage against Virginia. Again, something we saw just prior to Coda, with TF purposely setting a trap for the officers so they could use them as prisoners in the exchange.

It’s also worth mentioning that, for the characters in the episode (Alicia and Charlie, though this was true of Al and Dwight a couple of episodes ago too) the moment when they saw Morgan was a resurrection moment. We, the audience, have obviously known  he’s alive since ep 1, but they haven’t. So this was someone coming back from the dead for them. 

We learn that Virginia may have killed her own parents. But we don't know how. Me and my fellow theorists talked about how trustworthy Dakota is. I do like her overall, but one thing that bugs me is that the main characters don't press her. For more information. She said before that not only is she Virginia’s sister but that she hears everything that goes on in that house. So, I think she has to no more than she's saying. But her go to answer about anything is, "I don't know." Personally, I don't think she's going to turn out to be evil or anything, but I do think she knows more than she's saying.

Finally, Strand returns to Virginia and says that he's on her side and will help her bring back everyone Morgan has liberated.

For the record, while Strand always seems to have an agenda and to want to do things his way, I don't think he's actually working against Morgan's group. I think this is his way of being undercover and helping them from the inside. But Virginia believes him and takes him to where she's secretly hiding Grace, it was still very pregnant.

Dun, dun, dun! End of MSF.

So, yeah. That's what I have for details. Anybody pick up on anything I missed?

[kingspoetrysoc]

Interview with Konstantinos Pappis

Konstantinos Pappis is a poet and King’s alumnus who studied Strategic Entrepreneurship and Innovation for his Master’s. He shares his blackout poems on Tumblr @blackout-diary​ and on Instagram @blackout_diary, and is the Music Editor at Our Culture. The King’s Poet’s Karen Ng talks to Konstantinos about his poetic experiences, process, and inspirations.

What is your earliest memory of poetry?

Like many people, my earliest memories of poetry are associated with school, where I felt pretty alienated by the way we approached poetry. It felt cold and analytical and I struggled to connect with it on a personal level – or perhaps there was less of a need to at that age. Although there were some Greek poets we studied in school whose work I remember liking, including C.P. Cavafy, Kostas Karyotakis, and Odysseas Elitis, it wasn't until later during my adolescence when I started discovering poetry outside of an academic context that I was able to appreciate it more. Things really started to change when I was introduced to English and American poets; for some reason, something about it not being in my native language made it easier to engage with and relate to. And then eventually I was able to approach different kinds of poetry from both an intellectual and an emotional standpoint.

How did you first realise you wanted to write poetry? What do you enjoy the most about writing?

In a word, Tumblr (RIP). But honestly, finding a community of people who used poetry as a form of expression more than anything else inspired me to do the same. I realised it wasn’t this inaccessible, overly sophisticated thing that you had to be especially clever or well-read to really get. Again, if you weren’t doing it to get a good grade, it was considered a bit weird to engage with poetry in any way, so seeing it outside of that context was pretty eye-opening.

It was also something that came with realising I had a passion for the arts in general. Music had always been my primary outlet, but poetry took over when I felt I needed the words to have more space on their own – to jump out on the page and release all the teenage angst I was going through, because listening to Creep every day somehow wasn’t enough. None of that poetry was any good, of course, but it was vital. And when I felt like this really personal thing was something I could share and exchange with friends, writing also became an important part of embracing vulnerability and forming close connections, too. I came to enjoy it more as a medium than an art form, in a way – at first, at least. 

In terms of what I enjoy about it now… Well, it’s hard to articulate, but if we’re talking about writing poetry specifically, I guess the appeal hasn’t changed all that much. It’s been a while since I’ve felt inspired to write a poem, but in the past it’s always been when I felt like I need to channel something that I couldn’t through any other form. Some might view the poetic form as being kind of limiting, but I feel like it’s quite the opposite – it’s almost freeing in the endless possibilities that it presents.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is “Moon” by @makingthingswrite on Instagram.

You’ve written a lot of amazing blackout poems! What about this form  appeals the most to you?

Blackout poetry appeals to me for almost entirely different reasons. I treat it more like a mental exercise that can be both calming and stimulating; something that operates on a more subconscious level. I like that I don’t have to be particularly inspired to do it, not even by the text that I’m using. I like that it doesn’t necessarily have to make sense, that I don’t have to stress over the final result too much. I like that it can then inspire me to make something else. I like the visual aspect of it, the act of repurposing something and giving it new meaning not just by altering the text but also its surroundings. Of course, people can make blackout poetry in a much more intentional way, but what sets it apart for me is that it’s a creative outlet that can be simple and almost passive yet gratifying at the same time.

How do you select a text for your blackout poems – where do you look? What do you look for?

It really varies: sometimes I’ll take photos from a book – I used to do blackout on old books nobody would ever open, but I switched to doing everything digitally –  and sometimes I’ll search for poems or articles randomly online. Reviews often work quite well. There does have to be something about the text that sticks out to me for me to use it as a source, but I tend not to overthink it.

I love that – inspiration is everywhere in our daily lives, even when we aren’t looking for it! Can you tell us a little about your writing process? Is it more emotion-led or methodical?

For blackout it’s entirely intuitive. For poetry in general I would say it’s almost always emotion-led, but the editing part can be more methodical. Normally, a lot of it happens late at night when I can’t sleep, and if I can’t sleep long enough for me to write things down and it doesn’t strike me as absolutely terrible in the morning, then it might turn into a poem.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is Sam Sodomsky’s review of duendita’s song “Open Eyes”. Your poem pebble (an ode) was one of the first poems to be published in our magazine. It isn’t a blackout poem, but could you tell us a little about it too – do you remember what it was like writing it?

See above re: late-night thoughts and the utter absurdity of the human condition! 

How has your experience of sharing your poetry to Instagram been? Are there any tips you could share with our readers? 

I haven’t done it in a year, partly due to a lack of inspiration and partly because I’ve tried to distance myself from Instagram and other social media platforms as much as I can – though maybe I’ll go back to Tumblr? But my experiences with the Instagram writing community have been nothing but great – I participated in Escapril back in April of last year, a yearly event founded by Savannah Brown, that encourages users to write and share a poem a day based on a prompt. It was a really great and fun challenge that helped me write and read more and connect with other poets. I would say participating in these kinds of communities is probably the best way to utilise the platform.

Thank you for that advice! On a similar note, which poets and poems inspire you the most? These could include childhood inspirations… Have your influences changed over the years? 

I would not be the person I am nor would I have any interest in poetry if it weren’t for Sylvia Plath. I can’t even pinpoint exactly when I first encountered her work, but I identified with it to an almost unhealthy degree as a teenager, as I’m sure many people have. I still get that feeling whenever I revisit her poetry or read more about her life and art. Also, a lot of spoken word videos from people like Sarah Kay really resonated with me at a young age. 

More recently, the closest I’ve gotten to that feeling of being deeply excited and inspired by poetry was when I discovered Savannah Brown’s work a couple of years ago. Her spoken word videos and poetry films really moved me, and her second poetry collection – which came out last year – is absolutely incredible (I wrote about it here). Lately I’ve also been listening to a lot of musicians whose work intersects with poetry, including Cassandra Jenkins and Anika Pyle, whose most recent albums reckon with grief and loss in a really powerful way.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is Christopher Gilbert’s poem “Fire Gotten Brighter”. Are there any styles besides blackout which you particularly love, or themes? Are there any topics you gravitate towards? 

I’ve always gravitated towards confessional poetry, both in terms of what I tend to write and what I like to read. Something most of the writers I’ve mentioned have in common is that they use intimate language to evoke a deep yearning for connection, in the face of existential dread and the unfathomable vastness of the cosmos. That usually does the trick!

Have any experiences at King’s Poetry Society or King’s in general – events, classes, readings, people you’ve met, or London itself – been particularly memorable, or inspired you? Can you tell us a little about them?

Absolutely. Just being in London, not even necessarily the experiences I had there, made me want to write more poetry than I had in a long time. There’s a Savannah Brown video essay on YouTube where she talks about passing a billion people on the street – obviously in the before times – and being like, “Who are all of you people? Could I care for you? How many of you idiots could I love?” That’s basically the gist of what had been stirring in me for a long time and that I still think about to this day. And then being a part of King’s Poetry Society was an opportunity for me to try and channel that, and engage in an actual physical writing community in a way I never had before. I literally read a poem inspired by that video during one of our poetry reading events – that will certainly stay with me.

Above: Konstantinos’ poem “doors on the underground”. He read this poem at one of the 2019-20 King’s Poetry Society critique sessions.

How important do you think writing communities are, in fostering “better” writing? In your experience, is writing helped by discussion? 

I think they’re incredibly important, not just in fostering “better” writing but also fostering a space for vulnerability. Poetry can be an intensely private form of writing, but so much can be gained from discussing it, especially if one is looking to not only hone their craft but also learn from and connect with others. Us writers can be especially introverted people (hi!), and may be discouraged by the long stretches of silence that can pervade a poetry meeting, but there’s power in hearing the words you or someone else has written out loud. Even a single comment can completely change a way you think about a poem.

What do you think the value of reading poetry is? Can a poem profoundly change someone’s life? Conversely, can someone read a poem and be unaffected – and if this happens, has a poet “failed”? 

I think Marianne Moore sums it up pretty well in her poem Poetry, where she talks about finding in it “a place for the genuine.” As for the second question, poetry can definitely change someone’s life – not to be corny or anything, but like all art, it can also save someone’s life.

That said, I don’t think a poet has failed if the reader feels emotionally unaffected by their work. Sometimes, a writer may wish to portray an event or theme in a cold and unaffecting manner to get a certain point across. There’s value in that type of poetry, too, and art’s inherent subjectivity means that someone might be moved by a poem that someone else feels indifferent towards. There’s also value in poetry that is private and not meant to be shared, because even if only one person derives something from it, then it is valuable. I do think, however, that the further one strays from that ideal of earnestness, the closer the work hinges on being trivial or pretentious. We’ve moved past the need to be overly cynical or ironic.

I agree, poetry that is never shared is not lesser by any means – I find great personal value in treating a poem like a diary of sorts. Maybe each stanza mimics a different entry... With all that you feel manifesting into this thing that is at once completely attached to your experience but also – if shared – something that becomes detached and open to reinterpretation... That is really powerful. How do you think people who have never written before could be encouraged to start writing for themselves, whether for fun or as catharsis – without the pressures of becoming someone recognised or followed?

I really like that approach! I think the diaristic style of writing is often looked down upon as less legitimate, even though it isn’t. To answer your question, I think normalising the act of writing poetry purely for enjoyment or as a form of catharsis is really important, especially from a young age. Part of that could be achieved by exposing young people to more than what one might call the poetic canon. Being disappointed that a student isn’t engaging with poetry when they’ve only been introduced to Shakespeare is like assuming someone isn’t musically inclined when they’ve only been exposed to a single genre of music. Another way would be to incorporate more writing activities that utilise the poetic form, and allow the freedom to explore it outside the confines of academic study. I’m not saying all teachers should follow the example of Dead Poets Society, but there are so many ways to foster creativity and make poetry more approachable.

Do you think poetry is sometimes perceived as an inaccessible art? 

100%. I think that’s the biggest problem with how poetry is perceived. A lot of it comes down to the way poetry has been taught and disseminated for centuries – through a lens that is inherently exclusionary, upheld by systems that are classist, racist, sexist, etc. Hopefully that is starting to change – studies have shown that more and more young people read and write poetry, largely thanks to the rise of social media poetry. Poetry can represent such a wide range of experiences, but for people to view it as an accessible art form, more barriers need to be broken. Amanda Gorman becoming the youngest inaugural poet in American history, and the first Black poet ever to perform at the Super Bowl this year alone is certainly a huge sign of progress. 

Do you have a favourite literary journal, or a poetry platform you would like to recommend? What have you been reading lately? 

Subscribing to the Poetry Foundation and the Academy of American Poets’ poem-a-day newsletters has been a great way of keeping poetry in my everyday life. Recently, I’ve also been loving a podcast called Poetry Unbound, where each 10-15 minute episode immerses you into a single poem. On YouTube, I love Ours Poetica, a video series curated by poet Paige Lewis in collaboration with the Poetry Foundation that features readings of poems by writers, artists, and actors – including John Green reading Moore’s Poetry and Savannah Brown reading her poem the universe may stop expanding in five billion years. It offers a truly intimate and approachable way of experiencing poetry.

Above: Konstantinos’ poem “lonely little london”.

Is it important to you to read a wide variety of poetry, from different communities and on different subjects? Do you think it’s important for poets to write about things beyond their immediate world? 

That’s probably the biggest shift that has happened since I first got into poetry – realising how important it is to read widely. I was mostly drawn to poetry that reflected my own limited experience, but now more than ever I find it vital to immerse myself in different points of view, especially from underrepresented or marginalised groups. I now see poetry less as a means of personal expression than a form of empathy, and because of that I’m able to gain so much more from it. That said, I don’t think it’s necessary for poets to write about things that aren’t part of their immediate world. It depends on one’s goals and ambitions, but there’s already so much that’s unique about a person’s immediate world – things that are reflected in society at large – that being forced to write outside of it can often lead to work that feels hollow and insincere, or even insensitive. That doesn’t mean it has to be limiting – the beauty of poetry is that you can write about your immediate world but not necessarily through it.

Lastly… Do you think a poet is born a poet, or made into one? Which is more important: natural talent, or practice and growth? Can anyone become a poet? If everyone has it in them, do you think anyone who puts their mind to it can produce meaningful work – since, of course, all work is meaningful in one way or another, whether privately or publicly?

This is a slightly tricky question to answer, because either way it could imply that only some are afforded the privilege of becoming poets. If a small percentage of people are born poets, then of course that means everyone else is inherently excluded; if one is made into a poet, then only those who are able to cultivate any artistic inclinations will have the opportunity of fulfilling their potential. Most people will say the truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle, that it’s some complicated combination of the two. But I feel it’s much simpler than that – when you boil it down, really, everyone is born a poet.

[acoolchickouthere13]

July 10, 2019- Amazon prime day concert

July 23, 2019- shares likes with Joe on Instagram, shoots the lover music video, releases the Archer single in the livestream, and gets VMA nominations, does an interview with CBS Sunday morning

First secret session in London Friday August 2nd, 2019

Karlie Kloss turns 27 August 3, 2019

I still believe this was taken during the Australia winter 2016 trip, when Taylor was “26”

August 4th, 2019

Second secret session in Nashville Sunday August 4th, 2019(Over 100 fans were in attendance, apparently, as the event was said to include guests from a Nashville session AND an alleged Rhode Island session. (There are rumors the original Rhode Island session was canceled because the date got leaked))

August 5th, 2019 Nashville

“When we talked seven years ago, everything was going so well for you, and you were very worried that something would go wrong.

Yeah, I kind of knew it would. I felt like I was walking along the sidewalk, knowing eventually the pavement was going to crumble and I was gonna fall through. You can’t keep winning and have people like it. People love “new” so much — they raise you up the flagpole, and you’re waving at the top of the flagpole for a while. And then they’re like, “Wait, this new flag is what we actually love.” They decide something you’re doing is incorrect, that you’re not standing for what you should stand for. You’re a bad example. Then if you keep making music and you survive, and you keep connecting with people, eventually they raise you a little bit up the flagpole again, and then they take you back down, and back up again. And it happens to women more than it happens to men in music.

But you also had good things happen in your life at the same time — that’s part of Reputation.

The moments of my true story on that album are songs like “Delicate,” “New Year’s Day,” “Call It What You Want,” “Dress.” The one-two punch, bait-and-switch of Reputation is that it was actually a love story. It was a love story in amongst chaos. All the weaponized sort of metallic battle anthems were what was going on outside. That was the battle raging on that I could see from the windows, and then there was what was happening inside my world — my newly quiet, cozy world that was happening on my own terms for the first time. . . . It’s weird, because in some of the worst times of my career, and reputation, dare I say, I had some of the most beautiful times — in my quiet life that I chose to have. And I had some of the most incredible memories with the friends I now knew cared about me, even if everyone hated me. The bad stuff was really significant and damaging. But the good stuff will endure. The good lessons — you realize that you can’t just show your life to people….words are my only way of making sense of the world and expressing myself — and now any words I say or write are being twisted against me. People love a hate frenzy. It’s like piranhas. People had so much fun hating me, and they didn’t really need very many reasons to do it. I felt like the situation was pretty hopeless. I wrote a lot of really aggressively bitter poems constantly. I wrote a lot of think pieces that I knew I’d never publish, about what it’s like to feel like you’re in a shame spiral. And I couldn’t figure out how to learn from it. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what I did that was so wrong. That was really hard for me, because I cannot stand it when people can’t take criticism. So I try to self-examine, and even though that’s really hard and hurts a lot sometimes, I really try to understand where people are coming from when they don’t like me. And I completely get why people wouldn’t like me. Because, you know, I’ve had my insecurities say those things — and things 1,000 times worse….But I can’t really respond to someone saying, “You, as a human being, are fake.” And if they say you’re playing the victim, that completely undermines your ability to ever verbalize how you feel unless it’s positive. So, OK, should I just smile all the time and never say anything hurts me? Because that’s really fake. Or should I be real about how I’m feeling and have valid, legitimate responses to things that happened to me in my life? But wait, would that be playing the victim? ...I needed to grow up in many ways. I needed to make boundaries, to figure out what was mine and what was the public’s. That old version of me that shares unfailingly and unblinkingly with a world that is probably not fit to be shared with? I think that’s gone. But it was definitely just, like, a fun moment in the studio with me and Jack [Antonoff] where I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call — because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up….I don’t think I’ve ever leaned into the old version of myself more creatively than I have on this album, where it’s very, very autobiographical. But also moments of extreme catchiness and moments of extreme personal confession….

But is the idea that as your own life becomes less dramatic, you’ll need to pull ideas from other places?

I don’t feel like that yet. I think I might feel like that possibly when I have a family. If I have a family. [Pauses] I don’t know why I said that! But that’s what I’ve heard from other artists, that they were very protective of their personal life, so they had to draw inspiration from other things. But again, I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t know how my life is going to go or what I’m going to do. But right now, I feel like it’s easier for me to write than it ever was.

...I’m not scared anymore to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic. And I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds — because male artists are allowed to. And so I’m sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business. But, it’s a different part of my brain than I use to write. [THIS IS AFTER SHE SAID DBATC WAS INSPIRED BY “SOMEONE GREAT” ON ELLEN]

You’ve been masterminding your business since you were a teenager.

Yeah, but I’ve also tried very hard — and this is one thing I regret — to convince people that I wasn’t the one holding the puppet strings of my marketing existence, or the fact that I sit in a conference room several times a week and come up with these ideas. I felt for a very long time that people don’t want to think of a woman in music who isn’t just a happy, talented accident. We’re all forced to kind of be like, “Aw, shucks, this happened again! We’re still doing well! Aw, that’s so great.” Alex Morgan celebrating scoring a goal at the World Cup and getting shit for it is a perfect example of why we’re not allowed to flaunt or celebrate, or reveal that, like, “Oh, yeah, it was me. I came up with this stuff.” I think it’s really unfair. People love new female artists so much because they’re able to explain that woman’s success. There’s an easy trajectory. Look at the Game of Thrones finale. I specifically really related to Daenerys’ storyline because for me it portrayed that it is a lot easier for a woman to attain power than to maintain it….for me, the times when I felt like I was going insane was when I was trying to maintain my career in the same way that I ascended. It’s easier to get power than to keep it. It’s easier to get acclaim than to keep it. It’s easier to get attention than to keep it….maybe this is a reflection on how we treat women in power, how we are totally going to conspire against them and tear at them until they feel this — this insane shift, where you wonder, like, “What changed?” And I’ve had that happen, like, 60 times in my career where I’m like, “OK, you liked me last year, what changed? I guess I’ll change so I can keep entertaining you guys….the question posed to me is, if you kept trying to do good things, but everyone saw those things in a cynical way and assumed them to be done with bad motivation and bad intent, would you still do good things, even though nothing that you did was looked at as good? And the answer is, yes. Criticism that’s constructive is helpful to my character growth. Baseless criticism is stuff I’ve got to toss out now….I’ve never been to therapy. I talk to my mom a lot, because my mom is the one who’s seen everything. God, it takes so long to download somebody on the last 29 years of my life, and my mom has seen it all. She knows exactly where I’m coming from. And we talk endlessly. There were times when I used to have really, really, really bad days where we would just be on the phone for hours and hours and hours. I’d write something that I wanted to say, and instead of posting it, I’d just read it to her.

the lyric in “Daylight,” the idea of “so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” — it’s a different kind of confession.

I am really glad you liked that line, because that’s something that does bother me, looking back at life and realizing that no matter what, you screw things up. Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore — and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it. I told the fans last night that sometimes on my bad days, I feel like my life is a pile of crap accumulated of only the bad headlines or the bad things that have happened, or the mistakes I’ve made or clichés or rumors or things that people think about me or have thought for the last 15 years. And that was part of the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, where I had a pile of literal old selves fighting each other. But, yeah, that line is indicative of my anxiety about how in life you can’t get everything right. A lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that. When it’s, like, 29 years’ worth. No one gets through it unscathed. No one gets through in one piece. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of people to grasp. I know it was hard for me, because I kind of grew up thinking, “If I’m nice, and if I try to do the right thing, you know, maybe I can just, like, ace this whole thing.” And it turns out I can’t.

It’s interesting to look at “I Did Something Bad” in this context.

You pointing that out is really interesting because it’s something I’ve had to reconcile within myself in the last couple of years — that sort of “good” complex. Because from the time I was a kid I’d try to be kind, be a good person. Try really hard. But you get walked all over sometimes. And how do you respond to being walked all over? You can’t just sit there and eat your salad and let it happen. “I Did Something Bad” was about doing something that was so against what I would usually do. ...a couple of years ago I started working on actually just responding to my emotions in a quicker fashion. And it’s really helped with stuff. It’s helped so much because sometimes you get in arguments. But conflict in the moment is so much better than combat after the fact.”(x)

Third secret session in LA Tuesday August 6th, 2019

Also does a livestream announcement

August 10 LA Party with YNTCD and ME! Costars #drunktaylor -purple nails

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

It’s week three of my Global-Pandemic-Induced decision to rewatch all of Supernatural, and so I’m still attempting to make this watch more productive than the last show that I binged.

So I’m on disc two now - that’s episodes 5 - 8 for those of you watching on Netflix. By the time we get to this disc, we know the basic formula for Supernatural as a series - Two Hunks + Fighting Evil to the Power of Acceptable Levels of Gore x Missing Dad = Ratings Gold. Or at the very least, good enough ratings that we’ll give you a season (or fourteen). And then...well...then.

Episode five is “Bloody Mary”, easily the scariest episode of this first season and, based on the nose dive that the formula takes after season 1, probably the entire series. Maybe it’s that the Bloody Mary legend was one that really got me as a kid, maybe it’s just that I don’t do so hot with ghosts, but guys this episode still made me turn on all the lights and avoid all my mirrors. I accidentally turned this episode on at 9pm and regretted it immediately. I walked away at one point to go clean my kitchen to strategically miss some of the spookier points and I walked back in during an even spookier point. I was mad that there were no commercials at the commercial break cut-to-black! The first time I watched this episode, I’m pretty sure I watched it through my fingers. This most recent viewing, I ALSO watched it through my fingers. Guys, THIS EPISODE. 

I will say it a-hecking-gain: This episode scared the SHIT out of me.

AND THEN, THEN! Then this show has the gall to go ahead and drop a major season/character plot point right there in the middle of all this content that I am actively trying not to look at: SURPRISE! Sam has premonition powers and sorta kinda knew that his girlfriend was gonna die a terrible death weeks before she dies. Because sure, why not? 

Ohmiglob the DRAMA.

I’m gonna take a moment to say that, yes, technically this piece of plot gets dropped within our first six episodes, so we can still safely say that, you know, they’re still setting up the story for the rest of the series. It’s not like a sudden twist they drop half way through the season, it’s being laid down as ground work. And I know that this turns out to be a MAJOR issue for the next four seasons at least, but can I just say: Kripke, you’re really throwing a lot at us. I mean, OK. here’s what we’ve got - 

The Winchester’s lost their mom at a young age to some evil thing. Cool, got it.

THEN they have daddy issues with C-minus Single Dad John Winchester. Alright, that seems logical. 

The brothers hunt bad guys looking for the thing that killed their mom. Ok still on board. 

There’s family drama, relatable. 

Dad’s gone missing and we gotta find, ok ok ok. 

Also Sam’s girlfriend dies in a fire, alright, so we’re looking for that thing now too. 

OH! And now Sam has magic powers. 

I mean, it’s a lot, right? We got a lot of layers here. That’s all I’m sayin.

So “Bloody Mary”, right? Big episode, big bad guy, they kinda loophole their way into defeating her but I’m not mad. Big reveal at the end, so kind of an important lore episode. And then...well...then we get the following episodes:

“Skinwalker” - gross-out fx, establishes Dean as a lonely asshole with a lot of APB’s out on him

“The Hook Man” - takes the Urban Legend angle of the show and dials it up to 11

“Bugs” - Does what it says on the tin.

Now to be fair: all three of these episodes have at least ONE shining moment that reveals a little more about the characters we’re working with, and that character development plays out in important ways in the rest of the season/series. But all three of them are arguably---

FILLER EPISODES-ODES-ODES-ODESSssssssss. 

Alright, maybe that’s unkind. Maybe we should call them standalones or self-contained. A Filler is an episode designed to “fill out” your season. It doesn’t necessarily move the overarching story of the season forward, although it may contain some concepts or revelations that are important later. I’d argue that Supernatural has only ever had two kinds of episodes - Series Arc and Filler. Not that that’s a bad thing -  I like a filler episode now and again. Depending on how heavy your season gets (and by all accounts Supernatural gets pretty heavy), they can be a nice breath of fresh air - also known as a Breather Episode. Or they can be just for fun. I’mma reference “Once More with Feeling” again because sure, why not throw in a musical episode in season 6 of a show about vampire slaying, that’s fine. I wanna reference something from Community here too, but honestly anything after season 2 could probably be called filler or self contained, so who even knows. I’ll point at the Voltron episode where they spend a day in the mall to gather some unobtainium for the ship and wacky shenanigans ensue. Point being, they can be times to break the mold and experiment and have fun with what you’re writing. Or they can be ridiculous nonsense. Mileage may vary. 

The crazy thing about these episodes is that they most closely resemble what Kripke intended the show to be in the first place. Kripke wanted a show that revolved around characters investigating American urban legends. What is more quintessentially urban legend than Bloody Mary, the Hook Man and curses from ancient Native American burial grounds? These were stories that I as the viewer was already sort of familiar with because I’d heard of all of them before. What I appreciated, specifically about the Bloody Mary episode, was that they a) acknowledge the fact that these are Urban Legends (capital letters and all) and then b) acknowledge that the legends vary wildly so a part of their job is figuring out what is true and what is rumor. I guess you could also call that a cop out but when I was a kid, I was told that Bloody Mary was the ghost of Queen Mary of England who was sister to Elizabeth I and was also violently anti-protestant. WHERE did I get this story? I have no idea. But I also have no idea where Sam got the “mutilated bride” story from either. 

In an old article I found circa season 2, Kripke actually talks about preferring standalone content to mythology/lore episodes in television. Both as a creator and as a viewer, he wants a show where people can jump in at any time and “join the party” wherever they are. That’s the beauty of procedurals - you don’t need to start from the beginning to enjoy them.

But what really got me personally hooked on the show was the mythology, was the season long arc to find John Winchester and whatever killed their mom. Those mythos episodes were where the meat of the show was for me - it usually involved a lot of feelings and a lot of character development which is still mostly my jam. If I’m obsessively watching a show, it’s because I’m connected to the characters and watching them struggle through the challenges in their path, not because I want to see what monster they kill next. 

And again, I’ll reiterate that each of these episodes contains an important nugget of character. In “Bloody Mary”, easily the least likely to be called Filler, we find out that Sam has weird magic powers that are the real source of his guilt over Jessica’s death. 

In “Skin”, we find out a lot about Dean’s inner landscape from the DopppleDeaner, who reveals that Dean is probably most afraid of people leaving him (be still my 19-year-old heart). 

Wasn’t mad about this bit...

Coulda done without this bit tho...

In “Hookman”...alright, you kinda got me on “Hookman”, but we do get the first appearance of the rocksalt shotgun and Sam talks with a girl about her dad issues which is really Sam talking about his own dad issues in the language of tv shows. Also, he maybe starts to move on from Jessica???? It’s unclear, and also a little weird but I guess he’s only 22 and that’s not that far off from 18/19. 

Really, WB?? Sneaking into sorority houses?

And then in “Bugs”, yes, even in “Bugs”, we get juicy little bit of tension between the brothers as they advise some teen boy about family dynamics. The fight shows a lot about what each character feels about their own experiences growing up the way they did, how they manage the expectations from their own father, and how they believe those family dynamics should exist. I mean I guess you could also argue this is the episode that plants the seed for Wincest, but I don’t really want to go there, let’s not talk about it.

This kid’s like, “This is...not a conversation about me and MY dad, is it?”

So they could be worse. I mean the last two definitely aren’t great, and we’ll see how they measure up to the Monster Truck episode later in the season, but they’re not bad episodes. 

So let’s flash forward to Now again - have we seen the end of Filler Episodes?

As I have mentioned in previous posts and will probably continue mentioning in future posts, the 22 episode season is not the norm anymore. A lot of articles I’ve read point to Breaking Bad as the first American show to really break that mold. Breaking Bad released only 7 episodes in it’s first season in 2007. When you’ve cut your story down that much, there’s no room for filler - you’re basically producing a 7 hour movie. 

Now notice I said American TV show. I’m pretty sure for most of the rest of the world, 22 episodes is way outside the norm, but really I can only speak to UK TV. Seasons in the UK do not last as long as seasons in America. Doctor Who, one of, if not the, longest running show on BBC, aired its first season with 42 episodes, which is mind boggling. But since the series revived in 2005, it hasn’t had more than 13 episodes in a season. Spooks/MI5 never had more than 10 episodes. The IT Crowd only aired 6 episodes per season. Broadchurch had only 8. And because I must complete the Superwholock trifecta, Sherlock seasons were only 3 episodes a piece. These are the shows that spring to mind while I’m writing this, but you get the idea.

So why does American broadcast TV have such long seasons? Well, the answer is: moneymoneymoney.

We live in an age of “prestige” TV. Some throw around “Golden Era”, but there’s been like, a Golden Era of television every 10 years since tv’s became household commodities, so that phrase basically means nothing. TV today is more similar to long-form film making than it was a decade ago. We associate terms like “film” with other terms like “art”, and sometimes we forget that television is, and always was, a business. It’s a business that’s making a lot of money entertaining you for hours on end, but a business nonetheless. I’d argue that it doesn’t mean it’s not art, but I don’t think we can separate the art and entertainment value of tv from its actual monetary value. 

Strategically, the 22-episode season was to get a show to a magical number of total episodes - 100. Once you hit the 100th episode, somewhere around season 5 (thanks math), then you can sell the show in syndicated reruns. This is also referred to as second-run syndication or off-network syndication. When a show is syndicated, that means the production company that produces the show can now sell the right to air episodes to other channels. Think channels like TBS or TNT or even USA Network - they don’t really dabble in producing their own content, they just repackage content from other networks to plug in to empty slots in their programming. And because these channels can air episodes 5 days a week, 365 days a year, that means the production company can actually make more money by selling the show in syndication than when they sold the show to the primary network. The more episodes you have in a season, the faster you get to syndication, and sometimes that means a show that’s on the brink of cancellation due to poor numbers may still get greenlit for another season or two if they’re closer to that magic 100th episode. For a show like Supernatural, that has a very procedural, not-super-heavy-mythos, structure, you can do very well in syndication. Just cuz another network agreed to air your show doesn’t mean they agreed to air it in order, so procedurals work better in syndication than your season-arc shows do. And that’s why we have episodes like Bugs, that have nothing to do with the overarching plot of the season and also phone in some questionable CGI. 

Apparently they DID use real bugs to shoot this scene and everyone got bit to hell but the bugs didn’t show up good and they went with CG anyway?!?

But these days, you don’t have to hit 100 episodes. Sometimes only 80 episodes will do. Sometimes, you run a streaming site and you don’t have to worry about reruns at all because your revenue isn’t generated from air time or even ads, but from subscription prices. Honestly, when you think of it that way, it makes way more sense to greenlight shorter seasons so that you have the budget to buy more and more diverse shows that will appeal to a broader audience of viewers. 

So if Supernatural was produced today, would we get these off-shoot, self-contained episodes that have little to do with the plot of finding Sam and Dean’s dad? It’s hard to say. Knowing what I do about Kripke’s original plans for the show and his thoughts on procedural standalone episodes in general, its possible that he’d still try for a traditional season aired on a traditional TV network. But in that same interview I quoted above, he also mentions that the only way to get into a show with a heavy mythos is to buy the DVDs. We don’t need DVDs anymore - we have Netflix. And Hulu and Prime and any number of other streaming services that pick up any show they can get just to have a larger library of content and attract new viewers. I think a good indicator of what Supernatural would look like if it aired today is Hulu’s Helstrom - a show about two siblings with a childhood marked by strange and terrible happenings, who spend the season trying to defeat an evil demon. This show is a Hulu original that dropped all 10 episodes on October 16, 2020, and damn if that doesn’t sound familiar. I told a friend, “it’s like Supernatural but more emotions.” (Her response was, MORE emotions?!?!?) And before you dive down the rabbit hole, the characters in Helstrom made their debut in a Marvel comic back in the 70’s, so you can just chalk it up to nothing new under the sun. 

Big Mood, guys. Big Mood.

I’ll close this one by reiterating I don’t mind a filler episode. Some fillers can be weird and great and wonderful. I’d say “Tales of Ba Sing Se” (Avatar the Last Air Bender, Season 2)  is a great example - with the possible exception of Appa, the vignettes presented in “Tales” are basically side quests that have nothing to do with the main quest of season 2 and only serve to develop characters. The stories are sweet and touching and also light and fun.

I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying! It’s ok, I’m also crying. 

 And the longer a show runs, the more likely you are to run into these fillers - episodes that take a break from the main action to bring something that’s new and out of the box and possibly/probably writers getting bored with the every-day formula of the show. I think season 1 of Supernatural does a decent job of balancing the two styles of episode so that neither gets boring. In fact, I’m pretty Supernatural was what taught me the difference between the two episode styles in the first place. And the first time around, I was hyped for those season arc episodes, because back in the late 2000’s, I hadn’t seen a lot of TV content like that. Now, 15 years on and mired in a sea of seasons that stick mainly to a season arc story with little to no room for breathing, I think that if all TV became nothing but season arc episodes...well, it’d get pretty boring. 

[iwanthermidnightz]

The following is the summary of Kate’s latest episode on Taylor. Forgive the back and forth and random points... Kate likes to ramble. It was literally an hour and a half of that but she did bring up some good points. This is her analyzing ‘The Archer’ among other things! For the record, I’m writing from her perspective/direct words.

————————————————-

-Thinks The Archer is beautiful, ethereal, and lush

-It’s very Donna Lewis, very Robyn, it’s a nostalgic sound, very Jack Antonoff, very Lorde Melodrama.. its a certain sound reverberating female celestial voices that reminds her of the 90s and she likes it

-It’s a promo single which means it’s released to promote the album, it’s not released to radio stations for airplay- no music video

-Sounds transitional, unfinished song… it’s building

-Released to convey a level of emotional vulnerability

-Taylor said in radio interviews in the UK that this album is very pure and it’s not in response to something like she said reputation was

-“Lover is about what songs would I write for the sake of writing songs? Most of them are about love in the sense that they’re a love letter to love itself”

-We’re in an era with VERY little information

-We’ve seen Joe twice in 2019 (go figure)

-Taymerica, Squad, Calvin, we see her all the time

-Then she gets in this mysterious private ‘relationship’ with Joe almost so much so that there’s no reason to speculate or think about her personal life because it’s so under the radar and she’s never officially talked about him

-She automatically likes his Instagram posts within 2 minutes which a lot of us think is some sort of thing Instagram does for people like her

-She has a theory Taylor and Taylornation can see stories without read receipts (duh)

-The Archer represents a person that's reflecting on their behavior and their patterns and thinking about their relationships in life and thinking about the role of self-sabotage as it relates to your personal relationships

-Talks about the dive bar situation, she needs to spend more time thinking about it

-She talks about the easter eggs leading up to the archer and debates whether Taylor planned this out 3 years ago because of the archer angel in the delicate mv, and the way the people in the delicate mv see right through her, it makes sense

-She always wondered what aspects of Taylors personal life is a media narrative. What has she actually confirmed herself? What are these songs really saying?

-She thinks the songs on reputation sound like really closeted anthems

-It’s none of her business what her sexuality is but it is her business to interpret her songs the way any open-minded person should

-So much of reputation she really read being about a relationship with a woman because it was so grounded in secrecy, quiet moments, darkest little paradise, happened for the first time, I don’t want you like a best friend, everybody thinks that they know us but they know nothing about us, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, I had a bad feeling… (yes she named them all in the same breath)

-Lyrics have never been about the protection and privatization of involuntarily public love, they’ve been lyrics about a perception of a forbidden love -It’s one thing to hide from the paparazzi, and to be like “something happens when everybody finds out, loose lips sink ships all the damn time”, recites ‘I Know Places’ basically- calls it a closeted anthem because Taylor literally comes out of closet doors on the 1989 tour.

-Thinks there are themes in Taylors songs that she might miss as a straight person and doesn’t want to discount them

-She was reading an article in Vulture written by none other than known Kaylor truther Jill Gutowitz, mentioned how Jill very openly talks about Gaylor and Karlie Kloss and even recently Tree Paine liked one of her tweets

-Tree Paine is a mastermind and has boots on the ground everywhere (Indeed she is!)

-Thinks the Tree Paine like was strategic

-Jill said in an article that there were implicitly queer lyrics placed throughout ‘The Archer’: ‘pace like a ghost’, ‘heroes die all alone’, ‘help me hold onto you’, dying alone and holding on to someone who isn’t right for you are all important tenants of the lesbian canon (shes quoting Jill)

-Kate did not pick up on any of that cause shes straight haha

-Mentions how Taylors fans are divided by those who think her songs are blatantly queer and those who don’t and believe the Toe relationship is real bc the media shows them that and they believe it firsthand (true)

-She quotes the reputation prologue “when the album comes out gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test and there will be slideshows and photos backing up each incorrect theory because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it it didn’t happen right? Let me say it again louder for those in the back… we think we know someone but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us.”

-Kate says that those are her actual straightforward words and you can’t read that and say that it's not okay to believe in things we haven’t seen or that it’s calling her a liar to only believe what we’ve seen if she is telling us to our faces that we think we know her but the truth is we only know the version of herself that she has chosen to show us

-That is an admission of Taylor being strategic in what we know, and a ton we don’t know

-The prologue should’ve opened up the doors for an and all theories to be fair game but somehow it divided the fandom deeper than she’s ever seen

-Calling her a liar about what she’s told us thus far is not fair (it takes a mature person to understand that)

-The Taylor Swift strategic businesswoman who keeps us on our toes waiting for new music and clues is part of her success- not all. But there is a difference between that Taylor and the Taylor she is behind closed doors. She’s still a person. So to say she's a liar is not right.

-We can’t imagine what it takes to be in her position and not have lost her mind yet

-Maybe shes had a breakdown but we haven’t seen it (wasn’t that her disappearance before reputation?)

-Kate goes back to ‘The Archer’ and her internal struggle

-She read something that Taylor liked on Tumblr where someone said that The Archer is the song version of her poem called “If you’re anything like me”... epiphany.

-The song is about talking about her shortcomings while simultaneously accepting them and saying if you’re anything like me I’m sorry but you’ll be fine

-Kate recites the whole poem now lol

-Showcases a lot of strength in your weakness and pointing out the importance of going through these things in order to find oneself and to acknowledge that some things are just pillars of the way you are

-Back to the archer - this song is about the unwelcome justice system in her head in terms of patterns, knowing how she's going to react, in terms of wishing she were another way and objectively being able to see that but not being able to feel that is a very human experience to constantly be in between your head and your heart

-You only know your own experience, anyone that's hurt you stays in your subconscious or otherwise and we often react in response or defense of it and when she’s saying “no amount of friends at 25 will fill the empty seats at the lunch tables of your past and the teams that picked you last but darling, you keep trying”

-She has been criticized so many times and publicly taken down, shes felt like she can't do anything right at times

-Brings up the ME! Performance at the Billboard awards and no one talked about the performance, just that she ‘copied Beyonce’

-Stuff like that that was not intentional is often pegged on her for better or worse, correct or not

-To be accused of copying or being tone-deaf when shes probably orchestrated this team to make sure none of that happened would be so thankless and frustrating and sometimes the hate is louder

-At times in her career, she's had no choice but to jump to her own overwhelming defense

-You can't trust a lot of people if you are easily used and you do have to be somewhat cut and dry and I think that being put in an environment where it benefits you to be cut and dry because there are so many shady people but maybe she doesn’t really want to be

-She has no choice but to be black or white about her life and feelings and standing up for herself

-Back to The Archer- Kate doesn’t understand the point of “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey”

-It’s kind of like I’ve been the attacker and I’ve been the victim, I’ve had the upper hand and I’ve had the lower hand, I’ve been the dumper and I’ve been dumped

-Kate thinks Taylor’s been on the attack and defense and she knows what it feels like to be treated the exact same way she treats people and therein lies the issue

-That’s a confusing thing to process in your head period and to communicate in a song is inevitably going to be a little bit frantic and convoluted but that's kind of the point. The anxiety of how you handle things and how you accept yourself despite the way you likely mishandle things

-Taylor starts out saying “I’m ready for combat” in the most reluctant, delicate voice that is not indicative of somebody ready for combat

-That sounds like somebody who is a reluctant participant in their own patterns and they don’t want to be doing it but they know they’re going to and they know they’ll do it again

-These patterns and issues that we have exhibit over and over the reason for self-loathing and it's almost harder when you’re older and can acknowledge that you do these things and they don’t work for you but I still do them anyway

-It’s that self awareness paired with the active participation in these bad habits that make a person really start to doubt themselves and in using figures of speech like “I cut off my nose just to spite my face”, like that cuts deep bc she's basically being like “I overreact and I know I do and on purpose”

-In acting out of anxiety and fear you often end up riding off alone

-At a point you see people come and go, you know how this whole song and dance goes, at a point you start to mourn it before it's over

-That’s kind of like “yeah I never figured out the best way to maintain these relationships and I’m tired of it, I never grew up, I don’t know why I am this way but since I know they come and go and since I’ve always ridden on the train alone that probably what I’ll do again but with your help, help me hold onto you… like I want you to be the exception”

-We all think of ourselves as a catch and a trainwreck and it’s not a bad thing

-Looking for someone’s flaws is something everyone does in relationships

-As it relates to in the past when she’s been burned by somebody’s dark side she wants to call it when she sees it and lock the door before she gets robbed but then there's the conflicting part where she’s like “well what I’m alright, what if I can trust you and I’m alright right here?”

-The entire song is kind of like a back and forth of opposing feelings

-To cut off your nose to spite your face is basically a metaphor for overreacting

-She brings up the Hiddleswift stunt and Taylor revealing that she was Nils Solberg for some reason (connecting it to the metaphor)

(KATE IS RAMBLING SO I’M ONLY ADDING IMPORTANT THINGS NOW)

-We’re so quick to discount people's feelings just because they're in a position of fame and fortune and power but I think we would all feel no less us with money if anything everything’s intensified

-Taylor must have to put up a front all the time because she's not allowed to complain or have bad days when that is your normal and any therapist will tell you you can only heal operating out of your own normal.

-Pain is pain and when you start to compare pain is when you start to trivialize, minimize and not work through what you’re going through and you start to avoid/ignore it

-Taylors in a weird position where she probably has a more internal struggle that anybody

-Through her music we should acknowledge and think about what it’s like on that side, we owe her the respect to be like damn.. this must be hard

-Talks about the “all the king's horses” line and Humpty Dumpty

-All of the resources and people trying to help Taylor at her disposal and they still can’t fix this and that is an empty feeling, like a lost cause

-When Kate hears ‘The Archer’ she hears a highly anxious episode that is not just processing the individual situation going on but then doing a thing where you project it on every single thing that's ever going to happen in your life

OK FIN.

[draken049]

Godzilla King of The Monsters Review

So...the other day I went and finally seen Godzilla King of The Monsters and holy balls was it amazing. I have not been filled with so many different emotions from any Godzilla film before this one. Shin came close but King of The Monster?

...It was beautiful. The whole movie is beautiful. The story is simple, the message is clear and standard for the franchise, the characters both human and monster were amazing. The score was heart wrenching and it makes any fan feel like they are watching a pride and true Godzilla film from the homeland of Japan.

I was sitting in a theater room with only six other people, three couples, all of which had an affection for the franchise and the character of Godzilla. By the time the credits rolled, all of us were clapping and even some, myself included, were crying. IT’S ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL THAT THIS MOVIE IS DOING POORLY...though...it’s not the movies fault...no. In fact, this is really on the hands of Hollywood and the blatant pacing issue it has. This movie is by definition a definitive summer blockbuster but thanks to Avengers Endgame...-grumble grumble grumble- another awesome movie...-grumble grumble grumble- being THE box office monster that it’s been, there just wasn’t any spare change for the film that is undoubtedly the better film for summer. Then of course there was also Detective Pikachu and John Wick Chapter 3 and Aladdin...just too many large named movies coming out within such a short span. There’s no room to breathe, at all and I believe that among these large movies, they all could have benefit if they were not released on the heels of Avengers Endgame.

Now with my two cents being said, I would absolutely love to point out that this is NOT, I repeat, IS NOT your typical Hollywood movie. It just isn’t and you’d be lying to yourself if you said otherwise. What I saw was a movie made by a devout fan of Godzilla, made for the people who LOVE and CHERISH each film in the franchise. This is a movie that was fun filming, fun creating and it made itself known that this IS a Godzilla movie. If you say that the characters are trash, the plot is trash, or the monsterverse is trash...then I’m sorry, you should just stop watching these movies all together or go back and watch the older movies. Yea, you can have your opinions but they’re wrong, they straight up just are. 

Non-Spoiler Territory Ahead

There’s so much this film does right and none that I can see that would make it deserve ill-wanted words. The tone of the movie is excellent. It provides us as viewers with an ever escalating landscape. There’s much more to lose here than there was in Godzilla (2014), that if something isn’t done, we’re going to be in for a world of hurt. The world is affected by the actions of Jonah and his eco-terrorism group to the point that even they would be affected if the source of the problem wasn’t dealt with. 

The character dynamics between Emma, Madison and Mark are simplified but nonetheless strong. It’s your typical family member lost, dad becomes a spiraling drunk, mom isolates herself and arguably loses her sanity and the daughter is left with the fallout from both but is forced to be by moms side. There’s much talk and allusion to redemption which is strongly paid off by two parties, even though I think one was less deserving than the other. Jonah has a motive that is much larger than just some action film bad guy and it needs to be known that he only partially succeeds but never fully gets what he wants. This gives him every reason to be the dark human element of Godzilla vs. Kong. Even by the time the credits rolled, you could tell exactly that he was planning something far more dangerous than what we were given. Dr. Serizawa is a penultimate character that is the yin to Godzilla’s yang. We see that he is still a devout believer that Godzilla is the key to balance among the Titans. His interaction and care for the large deity is something to really behold and it absolutely tugs your heart when it comes to giving the big lovable guy a good kick in the nuclear tank. 

The monsters themselves are all unique despite only seeing like what? Four new titans? The behemoth(????), the octo-spiderboi, a second female muto, and the large mountainboi. They are each dynamic in a way that they almost encapsulate a piece of cinematic history in the areas if which they appeared which I really wouldn’t put past Michael Dougherty because he is a horror anthology guru. However, the four that really shine above the rest are Rodan, Ghidorah, Godzilla and Mothra. 

Rodan; The Fire Demon...such a badass moniker. His initial appearance really draws on his Showa portrayals, being associated with the volcanos that both take and giveth his life. His design is MUAH, perfection. The mix of traditional reptile skin and possible fire feathers really give Rodan a naturalistic but also a unique look for the world of the Monsterverse. I really think he is the most animalistic of the four titular Titans, his actions reflective to that of an eagle or hawk but also as an aggressive bird when Ghidorah finally enters Rodans airspace. 

Godzilla; King of the Monsters...a much deserving title for the apex super predator. I was well and truly shocked when it’s revealed that Godzilla is or was worshiped by ancient peoples of an advanced civilization. His mannerisms, animalistic display intelligence and cunning flesh him out to be this thinking creature. His reservations about humanity is just but he develops an inherent trust of humanity thanks to Dr. Serizawa. It’s this trust that makes Godzilla feel like this unsung and much needed hero of the world. His leadership and stature among the worlds Titans seems akin to Aaragorns position when he finally takes up the mantle of king in Lord of the Rings. They both now have lives to look over and keep in line, to be the order and balance that the title of king implies. I want to point out that with the revelation that Godzilla has an actual home and was worshiped, that this is inspired from the Heisei Gamera films where an advanced civilization create Gamera in order to defend them from the Gyoas. All Alpha models of Gamera were sunk to the bottom of the ocean floor, creating this vast landscape of ancient bodies. The feeling there feels identical to the feeling you get when entering Godzilla’s domain. 

Ghidorah...The One Who Is Many...Sweet baby Zilla...All I can say is that this Ghidorah, this false king, is by far the most intricate, the most developed and the most critically thinking version of Ghidorah in the history of the franchise. He is not one creature but three and feels like three creatures with one body. Each head thinks and acts independently, the right is the follower but hyper aggressive, more so than the middle head. The right will do what is needed by the middle while the middle head is actively the leader. This one is unique because it looks like he is the one pulling the strings, the one actively strategizing and the one getting things done. The left head, I think is adorable...is liiiike just there it feels like. He’s a crucial part to Ghidorah sure but he seems like that one dog who’s hell bent on barking at you but gets distracted when he sees a squirrel and then all of his attention is on that one squirrel. I love it. I really do because it just solidifies that this Ghidorah has independent thought for each head, allowing it different personalities. His roar is genuinely terrifying but also sounds pretty damn close to the his Toho counterpart in the same way Rodan and Godzilla sound similar to their Toho counter parts. 

Mothra...my mothra...GOD WHY IS SHE SO FREAKING PERFECT!?!?!?!?!?! Mothra; The Queen of the Monsters...She is so beautiful, so majestic and hands down THE best monster of the movie for me. What makes her stand out from her Toho incarnations is that this gorgeous lady is actively searching for Godzilla. She doesn’t wish to fight him and as the film suggests, the two have a symbiotic relationship. To me, I believe that the Mosura and Gojira species actively fight together or at the very least come to the aid of one another. Her hovering over the location of Godzilla’s home seems to be odd at best if she were just looking to fight. Now that doesn’t mean I think the two go for booty calls with one another like Barnes thinks. Though, I do feel like this Mothra is highly sentient if not overly tied to the notion of her species naturally fighting alongside Godzilla’s species. She is also a reaallllll scrapper, even though most of her time was spent fighting Rodan. I would have loved loved LOVED to see her fight against Ghidorah at full strength. Her song also plays which is a newly created version of her 1961 musical composition. Any time that she’s on screen and that music plays, I will cry cry cry CRY!!! It’s beautiful in every sense of the word. Her devotion to Godzilla is admirable and her assistance is amazing. 

The climactic battle is a sensation of fighting, roars, destruction’s galore, and a visual spectacle. By the end and Godzilla standing tall, your heart will be filled bliss. However, stand tall until the after credits scene!

LITTLE RANT

So I’m not gonna say what’s at the end for the after credits scene, or at least not until I make a Spoiler Ridden Review but I see so many people claim that mechas or a Mecha-Godzilla type weapon will come to fruition. Yea, okay it’d be cool but where the bloody hell are you going to get that much finite resources let alone a power source strong enough to run the damn thing? Just because the military has a flying super carrier doesn’t mean that a Super X weapons system or a Mecha-Godzilla is going to come to the monsterverse any time soon. When this franchise began (the Monsterverse), it was clear that these movies are grounded in a reality where our resources are not unlimited. You have to stop and think about just how much it’d be to cost for these kinds of weapons let alone if it’s going to work. The amount of metals and other resources you need, it’s just unruly. Maybe if we found a way to harvest resources from stars or planets then sure but in the reality of the Monsterverse, that’s just not going to happen.

FINAL VERDICT: 10000000/10 MUST SEEE!!!!

[vicweasley]

I was born with a HURRICANE HEART with wild rains and unchallenged rogue winds;           I am constantly fighting, fighting to keep those dear to me within its eye.

DICHEN LACHMAN? No, that’s actually VICTOIRE WEASLEY from the NEXT GEN ERA. You know, the child of FLEUR WEASLEY ( NEÉ DELACOUR ) and BILL WEASLEY? Only 27 years old, this SLYTHERIN alumni works as a DRAGONOLOGIST and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as GENDERQUEER and is a 1/8TH VEELA who is known to be MERCURIAL, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, and STUBBORN but also LOYAL, PASSIONATE, and STRATEGIC. — &&. ( JINX, PST, SHE/THEY, 24. ) Note: Victoire is adopted.

PLAYLIST • PINTEREST 

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: Mercutio ( Romeo and Juliet ), Kady Orloff Diaz ( The Magicians ), Bellamy Blake ( The 100 ), Kara Thrace ( Battlestar Galatica ), Sara Lance ( Legends of Tomorrow )

HEADCANON ONE:

Character Name: Victoire Apolline Delacour-Weasley

VICTOIRE: Seventeen years of hearing stories about those who died on her ‘birthday’ before her. Over a decade of not celebrating it when she realized what it meant to others. Of course, she understands that this is the burden she carries – while her cousins bear namesakes of those who had fallen before them, she is the painful reminder of the day they lost people – so they could win freedom. She is the h e l l f i r e that is left after a victory, scorching technicolor brutal memories into the minds of those who were left behind. Still, she is a Victory none the less, and her family adopted her the day of a horrible day when she was a baby. They chose her instead of the pain, they named her after the good instead of seeing the bad.   APOLLINE: The french derivative of the name Apollonia which comes from the Greek god, Apollo. Apollo, the god of the sun, prophecy, music, beauty, healing, poetry, plague and so much more. It could be said that Victoire is her own brand of beautiful – of course the Veela genes help ( or do they? ) but if there’s anything she’s gotten from this namesake it’s the love of music. She’s sure that if she wasn’t going to work with dragons when she was older it would be with music – something she practically speaks as a language. The name might sound too flowery or too soft for Victoire – but her grandmother from which she was given this name was still a Veela. She still had the siren song that was deadly to almost associated with her name. Still, just because Victoire is comparable to a constantly raging storm – she has times where parts of her mother and grandmother comes out.   DELACOUR: While she embraces the Weasley, Victoire also embraces her mother’s French heritage. If there’s anything of her mother, of this side of the family that comes out – it’s when she speaks French. She refuses to call her mother anything but maman, and will quickly switch to French around her during Weasley-Potter-Lupin gatherings at the burrow to make her feel even a little more comfortable. For Victoire, the Delacour name embodies softness and embodies femininity that she’s not always connected to. It reminds her that she’s not been alone in being discriminated against or objectified, that others understand what it’s like to be in her place to some extent. It’s then that she’s able to embrace the girl, that she’s able to feel like one and not always so at war with her body and herself. WEASLEY: If the other parts of her name didn’t already come with enough precedence – perhaps the name ‘Weasley’ was the icing on the cake. She couldn’t be prouder to be a Weasley, no matter how much fussing her grandmother does or how everyone is in everyone’s business – Victoire knows she is lucky. Vic is well aware of how privileged she is & how her infamous family of blood traitors are lucky to have the life they do. Even though she looked different from some of her family, so did so many of her other extended family members. She took comfort in the fact that Weasley-Potters were a mixed bunch, in personality, in races, in ideals, and her being different was celebrated. There may have been a thirst to know her heritage the older she got, one that would later be quenched, but her real family were the Weasley’s. They chose her, they were better than her blood family ever was, not that she could remember them.

Pronouns & Gender:   She/Her. Victoire identifies as Genderqueer.

HEADCANON TWO:

gender dysphoria tw

C h a n g i n g. From the minute Victoire was born, she was always fidgeting, always moving and her first display of magic was at 4 years old, when she tried to change her hair blue like Teddy’s. Instead, it changed her beautiful crop of dark brown into a dirty blonde. Often, she’d find herself envying Teddy’s abilities to change, feeling uncomfortable in her skin and angry that it wasn’t as easy for her. As she grew older, she came to understand  what her body was, what it would be and that she’d never be able to change herself like Teddy or change herself at all. Any change that she’d make would be permanent and she found herself not wanting that in the slightest. Not wanting to limit herself because while Victoire loved her feminine side – there was something she felt growing in her soul that was just … something else. It didn’t have a label but it became her, it was her, and it was confusing but it was who she was. Victoire did research and after a while the closest thing she could find to what she felt her gender was the term: genderqueer. Of course, after she realized this she told her parents, getting nothing but support from them. A reason they’ve let Victoire dye her hair so much and wear clothes that some parents would have heart attacks at, is so she feels like she has an option to be who she is. Even though they know that their child will be who she is with or without their permission, they figure helping her along the way in a world where there are many people who are against what her gender is & think it’s unnatural. They are Vic’s parents after all and after a war where they lost family and friends who gave their lives so their children could have freedom  – it seems trivial to ever fuss over something like gender. At twenty seven, Vic is more comfortable in herself but still struggles. She keeps it to herself instead of talking about her own dysphoria because it seems trivial compared the war going on around her, compared to so much else.

HEADCANON THREE:

About: ( SELF HARM MENTION, VIOLENCE MENTION, MISOGYNY MENTION )

Storm with skin. The performer. { Secret Strategist }. Masochistic with sadistic tendencies because she is just so filled with A N G E R ( being sexualized at a young age, her ass pinched on her first Hogsmeade trip, and so so much more that she doesn’t have a language to explain it in — only violent actions ). N o t that she’d let you know.  Warrior, no,VALKYRIE more of a DRAGON than a girl ( if she ever was a g i r l in the first place ), fiercely protective of the people she loves — and if you dare mess with her family, friends, or any of the sort, you better run for oblivion.  V I C T O R Y in her veins that she will hold onto until her dying breath.

Victoire Weasley is more than just a simple human being, she’s the true embodiment of what it means to be a storm with skin. Enigmatic even.

Victoire is quite sure of who she is, what she wants in life & what she will get, she’s quite sure of everything that she is —-

                …but in those moments she blacks out in pure rage — she’s not so sure.

She’s h o r r i f i e d. In those moments where she looks for pain like she’s a drug addict and it’s her next fix, she mortified. She can’t remember how it quite started – a punch to the wall there after a fight, a purpose slap in the face, anything that released the rage she had. Victoire didn’t dare release it on the people she loved because she’d never be able to forgive herself for that, but it grew. The feeling grew and soon she had to hurt herself. But she can remember when she knew. When she needed reminders, when she needed blood and big bruises to litter her body. It’s something she’s so ashamed of, that she hasn’t let on to anyone. A reason Victoire craves fights and sometimes throws them is because of this masochistic need to hurt herself – just letting people beat her to unconsciousness. Her anger is so great, so c o n s u m i n g, there’s the small hope if she finds a way to release it somehow – it’ll go away.

              “I will always scare; and more than anyone else — myself.”

It was in House of Serpents that she learned there is grey. There is moral grey, and it’s where she lives. With a heart so big, so W I D E, that even she doesn’t realize it’s part of the reason her anger can consume her. Feeling things for Victoire Weasley is never half arsed, it’s full arsed, and her passion, her ambition, could be the death of her. Her ambition to save the ones she loves, to protect her family. F a m i l y. A word redefined by Victoire fucking Weasley.

But when you meet her, she’ll s m i l e. She’ll laugh, she’ll charm you most likely and she’ll talk about the fact that Freddie Mercury is much more interesting than John Lennon, thank you very much. How Johnny Cash, Jeff Buckley, Arctic Monkeys, HAIM, and Aerosmith should be listened to at least once a day and how if she wanted anyone’s singing voice besides Freddie’s, it would be Hayley Williams, no doubt. She’d take off her shirt to show you the tattoos that run down her back, tell you about the ones that s n a k e down shoulders, arms, legs and how they’re ones dedicated to each and every one of her family members. For her best friends. For past people she loved. With child like w o n d e r m e n t and pure genuine glee, she’ll talk about her dragon, Mercury, and how her and Hagrid planned to try to start a campaign to get real dragons at Hogwarts — or at least they had. Never has she doubted being a Dragonologist and never has she had so much peace.

THOUGHTS ON THE TIMECLASH: Victoire thinks it’s amazing, sure she’s worried about the world as a whole, but she thinks this timeclash is kind of lit! It’s like a big party to her in a way, she’s never been more excited to learn about history than through the actual people she actually read about in the history books. If anything, she’s trying to learn from the new people around her, often sparking up random conversations with absolutely anyone she can to try to understand where they all come from. 

[sinceileftyoublog]

Riot Fest Sucks

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Riot Fest Sucks. It’s a tongue-in-cheek phrase that occupies multiple meanings and connotations, referencing the organizer’s self-deprecating recognition that they’re not gonna make everyone happy with the lineup and scheduling conflicts. It’s the name of a Goose Island Beer Co. pale ale made for the Fest, at times served lukewarm, its $10 price tag a symptom of a somewhat pretend punk festival bombarded by corporate sponsors whose presence fails to belie the lack of close, cheap parking, credit card lines, and functioning ATMs. Oh, and Riot Fest Sucks because hours into it my girlfriend sprained her ankle exiting the Vans popup experience down the 20-foot fire pole with no soft landing. So unlike previous years, this year, I left after a couple sets on Friday.

I won’t get there yet--first things first, Caroline Rose. When I walked up to her stage and heard Natalie Prass playing on the loudspeaker, I thought what I initially did upon first seeing Rose’s name in small print on the lineup poster: “Why not Pitchfork?” But as soon as her band gradually came out--first "nicest legs in the band” drummer Will Morse, then “handsome and single” bassist Mike Dondero, then “best friend” Abbie Morin--and started playing a surf rock melody as Rose entered, it was clear that her unique mix of electro pop and retro rock--not to mention her early folk and country material--had her suited for a festival that embraces classic sounds. They began with new song “Everybody’s Making Out”, potentially from the new album she just finished, and then “Cry!”, the band providing a plinky breakdown to the LONER standout. Rose alternated between genuinely appreciative of a fairly large crowd coming out early on a Friday to hear some upbeat but sad songs, and being playful and goofy--essentially conducting the band with her feet while playing keys on another new spacey synth pop song, all before noticing the camera and posing as if she was in a photoshoot. Her joking fit the sarcasm of songs like “Money”, which was interrupted by Rose chugging a 312 and barely smashing the can on her head and then playing Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” on kazoo. Rose is as fun at a festival as she is forlorn on record.

But then the incident happened. I listened to a remarkably nonstop and consistent Hot Snakes set through the medical tent next to the stage as my girlfriend iced her foot, leaving for urgent care right as Neck Deep’s catchy but juvenile pop punk began, not to return until mid way through Turnstile on Saturday. Thankfully, we were able to rent a wheelchair for the next couple days. Navigating the grounds with a wheelchair was a challenge, parking for free on Roosevelt before going through the grass of Douglas Park and the various street curbs separating the Ferris Wheel and the Rebel Stage from the main area. For what it’s worth, save for a couple unsavory comments (“You’ve got him trained well!”), most people were extremely aware and respectful, moving out of the way when necessary, and even helping us out of the mud. We chose not to get ADA access next to the sound stage until Sunday, partially because we were unaware of the possibility, but also because we wanted to be with friends and in the crowd. And from my brief experience, Riot Fest and its attendees walked the walk as much as they talk the talk about acceptance and zero tolerance for discrimination against differently abled bodies.

Speaking of Turnstile, what I saw from them was a perfect mix of rap rock, hardcore, and nu metal, favoring songs from last year’s Time & Space like “Generator”, short ditty “Bomb”, and standout “Moon”, the last played twice, once regularly and once a capella by vocalist Brendan Yates to close the set. It was much more inventive and progressive than the band who commenced immediately afterward, nonetheless Riot Fest staple Gwar. This time around, most of Gwar’s set surprisingly focused on the generic thrash music, not as many antics, just costumed men playing and spraying blood willy nilly as opposed to as part of a plot. (Except when they killed Donald Trump--that was great.) It’s not Riot Fest without Gwar, but at this point, their sick jokes and edgelord humor is appealing mostly to dudes like the one in the Joe Rogan 2020 shirt I saw leaving the set.

We then traveled to the secluded Rebel stage to catch supergroup The Damned Things, who thankfully came on late, since on the way we got caught up in one of many “What happened?!?” conversations with a friend. The band first formed in 2010 to release their debut album Ironiclast, then consisting of Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley of Fall Out Boy, Scott Ian and Rob Caggiano of Anthrax, and Keith Buckley and Josh Newton of Every Time I Die. Nine years later, they’ve released their second album High Crimes, and this time around, Caggiano and Newton have left, and in has come Alkaline Trio’s Dan Andriano. At Riot Fest, they played half songs from the first record, half from the new one, including the first four tracks of the latter, which showcase equally what The Damned Things do well and where they fall into the traps of MOR rock. “Cells” is more raw than you’d expect from a band with FOB and Alkaline Trio members, both on record and live, and is a surprisingly great introductory song to the album. The other songs they played from High Crimes, including cheesy cheerleader chanting “Something Good” and “Omen”, whose lead riff can’t decide whether it rips off Tame Impala’s “Elephant” or Muse’s “Uprising”, could have been ditched in favor of record standouts like “Carry a Brick” or “Young Hearts”. The former combines the vocal urgency from Buckley that we’re used to with ETID, with Anthrax-worthy thrash metal, while the latter (along with the record’s centerpiece “Storm Charmer”) interpolate a menacing blues rock stomp that could have been emphasized over the pop punk sheen of the Fest. Not to mention “Let Me Be (Your Girl)”, whose music is straightforward but whose lyrics feature gender inversion when assumed sung from the perspective of the lead singer. I left enjoying the set but wishing they had played for longer so I could hear the deeper cuts.

Album score: 6.3/10

Of course, the scheduling gods put Testament, also known as “if Metallica was still good,” during The Damned Things, so we had time for just a bathroom break before catching The Struts. In case you’ve never heard of them, The Struts are English glam rockers, fronted by a man who wears a shirt with batwing sleeves, who fancy themselves the lovechild of Queen and Def Leppard but end up falling closer to someone like The Darkness--which is not a bad thing! Their second album Young & Dangerous is catchy and somewhat undeniable, and the band’s fanbase came out to support them at Riot Fest, British flag in tow. It was probably the crowd’s enthusiasm that fed off lead singer Luke Spiller that made the set infectious; “If you’re not ready to dance and sing, then you might as well fuck off,” he proudly proclaimed, a nice, clear contrast to drummer Rafe Thomas oozing out the words “Hello Chicago” in the most droll voice possible. Sure, the lyrics “I bet your body’s so sweet” are even more cringey in 2019 than they would have been in the 70′s and 80′s, and the “instructing the crowd to get down to the ground” maneuver is pretty tired, but it was refreshing to see a band so unabashedly and unironically unashamed of their influences. “Don't wanna live as an untold story / Rather go out in a blaze of glory,” Spiller sang on the opening lines of “Could Have Been Me”, and upon ending the song, he instructed the crowd: “Ladies and gentlemen, remember our names!” It felt like a scene from a movie, and I couldn’t help but think that such cinematic flair is exactly what the band is going for.

I had time to catch a little bit of underrated electro pop band Pvris and pick up an Orange Wit from All Rise Brewing Co (another Riot Fest staple whose most popular beer has actually improved over the years) before catching Wu-Tang Clan, almost by default. The legendary group seems to be Riot Fest’s token hip hop booking every other year, and so I’ve seen them play Enter the 36 Chambers about 36 times. They ended up doing it again even though not billed to do a complete album set, but was I really going to see Rise Against, Manchester Orchestra, or Andrew W.K. over some of the greatest artists, let alone the greatest hip hop collective, of all time? I’ll take time number 37.

Then came what I knew was going to be the most difficult decision of the weekend, and one I kept thinking about even after it was made. Thrash metal titans Slayer were playing their final Chicago area show at Riot Fest, and their other supposed farewell show I saw last year was phenomenal. Then again, who am I to believe that this would be the time Slayer would finally stop cashing it in and retire? Instead, I opted to see something I very likely would not see again: Bloc Party playing their 2005 debut Silent Alarm in full. Based on how surprisingly great their Lollapalooza 2016 set was, I was eager to hear a set filled with, uh, only good songs, and the idea of the first sounds of the set being the echo of the opening drums to “Like Eating Glass” traversing through the crowd, was one that supplied me with a rare kind of glee. So when the band came out donning masks, launching into the album’s slow final song “Compliments”, I realized that what I initially heard as speculation--that they would be playing the record in reverse--would be true. There went my dream. The sounds and images of fire coming from Slayer’s stage filled me with regret.

But as the set went on, I realized that the choice was one that was both strategic on the part of the band, making the crowd stay to hear favorites like “Banquet”, and beneficial to the crowd. Each song was more energetic and frankly better than the previous one, from the sweet dancefloor melancholy of “This Modern Love” to the stop-starts of “Positive Tension” and “Helicopter”. Of course, “Like Eating Glass” proved to be a worthy singalong, everyone around me air drumming like nobody was watching. And I even got to see Slayer close with “Angel of Death” on the way out!

With one full day of Riot Fest finally in the books and surprisingly sore from navigating a wheelchair over patches of grass, mud, and curbs, I was thankful that the first batch of sets we were interested in seeing on Sunday was at the same stage, where I could grab beer and food and come back, and we could switch off between the grass and the ADA stage (which, awesomely, had free water). Arriving to hear the end of wildly cool and catchy Chicago post-punk band Ganser, we sat and waited for Nick Lowe with Los Straitjackets (and watched a different kind of “jacket” swarm unfortunate members of the crowd who mistakenly wore too much cologne). With the masked instrumental rockers (another band with masks?!?), two years ago Lowe released an album of instrumental versions of some of his best songs, so I was curious to hear how they would fare as his backing band. They got a slowed down “So It Goes” out of the way, as if to say to casual fans in the crowd, “I dare you to leave,” before burning through a variety of early era Lowe classics like “Without Love”, given a country spin by the band. The band delivered a mid-set instrumental performance as Lowe took a break, showing their guitar chops and stop-on-a-dime dynamism, before Lowe came back for “Half a Boy and Half a Man” and the other song everybody was waiting for, “Cruel To Be Kind”. Before playing set closer “Heart of the City”, Lowe said to the crowd, “Thank you, music lovers!” the quintessential statement from a true “music critic’s band,” but one with the pop songwriting talent to reach beyond.

I took the one-two punch of the “Save a lollipop, suck a dick” t-shirt and the tardiness and subsequent flatness of The Village People’s set as a sign that I should leave and walk by Less Than Jake opening their set with Back to the Future music, be mad again at the scheduling gods for putting the amazing-sounding Ride at the opposite end of the park from where Guided By Voices was about to play, and grab some delicious Harold’s Chicken for myself and unfortunately protein-lacking pad thai for my girlfriend. But there’s nothing like GBV to fix a less-than-ideal situation or improve an already good one. “How do you follow The Village People?” Robert Pollard hypothetically asked as the band went on. “With the village idiots!” With even less time to play than they had at Summerfest, GBV churned out practically all hits, starting with their usual set closer “Glad Girls” and revealing a barrage of known live gems--“Cut-Out Witch”, “Motor Away”, “The Best of Jill Hives”--and some they haven’t played in a while, like Isolation Drills’ “should have been a hit” “Chasing Heather Crazy” and “Echos Myron” prelude “Yours to Keep”, during which a crowd member actually blew a whistle when Pollard sang, “the whistle blows.” The latter was part of the band’s Bee Thousand finale, giving a crowd of casual fans exactly what they wanted and pleasing diehards no matter what.

Deciding to forego sprinting and catching any of Against Me!’s full albums (two of them!) set or Dave Hause & The Mermaid, I planted myself in a spot where I could see Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson’s beehives. The B-52′s followed a recipe for success in their set, leading off with track one of their debut, placing one hit early (“Private Idaho”), segueing a couple more from their debut into “Roam”, saving the two you knew they were gonna save for last. (Though I didn’t know they’d introduce “Love Shack” with War’s “Low Rider”.) The band was appropriately absurd and silly, frontman Fred Schneider’s sprechgesang adding hilarity to his response to Pierson’s “Something’s on fire in that pizza joint!” (“That’s my dinner!” he responded.) After the band ended with “Rock Lobster”, Pierson broke character and said two very serious things: 1) “Please vote!” and 2) “Go see Patti!”

And Patti Smith we did see, in all her glory. Her voice was as strong as ever on “People Have The Power”, “Dancing Barefoot”, “Free Money”, “Because the Night”, and “Gloria”. Unfortunately, almost half of her set was covers: “Are You Experienced?”, The Rolling Stones’ “I’m Free”, “Walk on the Wild Side”, “After the Gold Rush”, and for some reason, Midnight Oil’s “Beds Are Burning”. I would rather have heard something from her excellent later career albums like 2012′s Banga.

Hey, but she got a tribute during The Raconteurs’ set, as they chanted a little “Gloria” during “Top Yourself”. Along with shouting out headliners Bikini Kill (and the fact that they call God a “she” on new album closer “Thoughts and Prayers”), was it all part of Jack White’s plan to reveal himself as a feminist punk? I’m not sure; I do know that sociopolitical ideas aside, Help Us Stranger is a bit underwhelming as compared to the previous two Raconteurs releases, which were no White Stripes albums themselves. In any case, the band gave a very good set, because Jack White live is not to be reckoned with. The generic charge-up of album opener “Bored And Razed” was a buzzing jaunt on stage, and the blue-eyed soul of “Now That You’re Gone” was actually a nice change of pace from the blues-rock mashing of “Top Yourself”. On record, though it’s a welcome Ryan Adams diss track, “Don’t Bother Me” is straight up annoying, the repetition of the title after each line well-intentioned but flat--again, live, it somehow worked as a piece of absurdism. Thankfully, the band did play some of Stranger’s highlights, like the beautifully melancholy “Only Child” and power pop jam “Sunday Driver”. I wish they had replaced the comparatively generic “Somedays (I Don’t Feel Like Trying)” with catchy punk dirge “Live a Lie” or “Thoughts and Prayers”. The latter is the best song on Help Us Stranger. From the title, you think White might be trying to comment on gun control, but the song is at heart about life, a zooming folk odyssey rife with synths and fiddle and mandolin. “There’s got to be a better way / To talk to God and hear her say / ‘There are reasons why it is this way’,” White sings. It would have been an appropriate Riot Fest song: realistic, yet inspiring.

Album score: 6.3/10

But it was Bikini Kill’s triumphant reunion that was the perfect way to end the weekend, with dizzying instrumentation courtesy of Tobi Vail’s drums, Kathi Wilcox’s bass, and Kathleen Hanna’s guitar and siren of a howl. You knew they would sound great and play everything you wanted, from “Rebel Girl” to “Demi Rep”, the latter of which I hope will expose a new generation of fans to the band as the theme song to Hulu’s excellent PEN15. But the most fitting, even if not entirely poignant, was Hanna’s commentary, decrying “Let’s take this country back” white feminists and men who think they know everything, calling out rape culture more explicitly than anybody at the entire fest. “I’m sure Slayer talked about this a lot,” she quipped at one point. But it was a thought-provoking off-handed comment, one that makes me look forward to future lineups. Forget my forced symbolism of a $10 dollar beer. And I know the inherent problem of having a private, very white festival in a public park in a neighborhood made up of predominantly people of color, is not going to go away as long as the fest stays in said park. But Riot Fest can make a statement with the curation. Do they continue to market to nostalgia with minimal radical politics? Or will the festival live up to the name and, in their own words, stop sucking?

[pickalilywrites]

bringing back this au ♡ ♡ ♡

Let’s Talk About Love!

Rivetra. Dating Show AU. 

Let’s Fall in Love! series: Part I

2736 words. 

Buy me a ko-fi!

“I know you said you didn’t really care about the show, but it looks like you’re pretty excited for this interview of No Name’s,” Eld says, glancing at the television screen that his other bandmates were currently fixated on. He looks back at his friends, who are all piled up on the bed together and waiting for the commercial break to end so that the late-night talk show will return. “And it’s not like we need more advertising. That show that Petra’s doing is getting us a lot more album sales than we could have gotten by ourselves.”

“I guess,” Petra mutters. She’s certainly pleased about how album sales are doing. Their last album sales are going through the roof despite being released almost a year ago, and the rest of their albums are in high demand as well. A few years ago, their band the Special Ops Squad was almost unheard of, but now they’re one of the most talked about rock bands in the music industry and it’s all because of a weird dating show. Of course, not all the talk is good. “I think I’d be happier about album sales if crazy No Name fangirls weren’t just buying them to burn them or smash them to pieces just to show how much they hate me.”

“Hate us,” Auruo corrects her, putting a reassuring hand on Petra’s shoulder. She knows he means well, but his words do little to make her feel any better. The face mask he has on doesn’t help either. “We’re a band. Whatever happens – the good, the bad, the dirty – we’re in this together.”

“Auruo,” Eld says with a frown. He points to his own face. “A face mask? Really?”

“It helps keep my skin clear!” Auruo says defensively, his hands covering his face as if to protect his mask from being snatched away. “And they’re really relaxing!”

“Do you want one?” Gunter asks. Like Auruo, he also has a face mask on. He’s currently peeling a new one and putting it on Petra’s face as they wait for the late-night show to come back from its commercial break.

Eld thinks for a moment. “Alright then. Couldn’t hurt.” He clambers into bed with them, squishing himself in between Petra and Gunter even though the rest of his bandmates complain about how there’s hardly any room for anyone else. He manages to squeeze himself in though and the entire band sits on the bed, snug as four face masked peas in a pod.

“Do you think they’ll talk about the show at all? Maybe squeeze something in about our band?” Auruo wonders. He reaches over to grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl sitting in Petra’s lap. With his mouth full, he continues, “I mean, I know the whole point of the interview is for No Name to promote their tour, but it couldn’t hurt to squeeze our band in, right?”

The others chatter about the possibility of it – how exciting for the chance to be mentioned even in passing on a big late-night talk show by one of their favorite bands! – but Petra merely shrugs. She’s been tense ever since she appeared on Let’s Fall in Love! a reality TV show where celebrities “date” each other. While she had gotten off to a rough start with her partner – none other than Levi Ackerman, the lead singer of No Name, the biggest rock band in history – she eventually warmed up to him. Now it’s only the hate comments directed at her on social media and the scathing tabloid headlines that attack her character that really gets to her. She does her best not to notice them – even going so far as to disable comments on all her social media accounts as well as the band’s – but just knowing there are people out there who want her dead just for fake dating someone else really eats away at her some nights.

“Hey,” Eld says, noticing her downcast expression. He puts a comforting arm around her and squeezes her shoulder. When she looks up at him, he gives her a smile. “Are you okay?”

Not wanting her friends to worry about her more than they have, she gives him a tight-lipped smile. “It’s nothing,” she whispers back, turning back to the television as the late-night show returns.

“Welcome back to the show!” the talk show host says with a wide grin on his face. Roy, the speaker, is a long-time television host whose show entertained a wide number of guests – from political leaders to celebrities of every kind. He’s well-loved for being charming and polite, although younger generations of viewers felt that he could throw in more comedy to engage viewers. Still, he’s one of the most well-respected talk show hosts in the industry. “I have with No Name with me tonight, which, my granddaughter tells me, is the hottest rock band of all time. We’re happy to have you all here tonight! Thank you for coming!”

While the other two members of the band, Hanji and Mike, sit relaxed on the couch, Levi slouches over like a bored child, avoiding eye contact with the screaming studio audience by staring at the floor. It’s something that Petra would have found attractive in her teen years, annoying a month ago, and absolutely endearing now. Just looking at him hunched over is putting a smile on her face, although she can’t exactly explain why she finds his terrible posture so charming.

“Thanks, Roy,” Hanji says. Although many consider Levi as the leader of the band, it is Hanji who typically takes the lead during interviews. They’re charismatic and funny, easily making the audience laugh with a clever quip or two during the few talk show appearances that No Name makes every year. “Thank you for having us. We’re really glad to be here with you all.” They wave cheerfully at the audience, eliciting more screams from the crowd.

“It might surprise you, but even an old man like me has heard about your band,” Roy laughs. He fiddles with the small stack of notecards filled with the prepared questions for the band. Smiling at the band members, he says, “This is your tenth year as a band – you guys began when you were in college together – and you’re currently going on your fifth tour. Does it ever surprise you, the dedication you receive from your fans?”

“It did surprise us a little in the beginning,” Hanji confesses, reaching back to brush down their ponytail with one hand. “But we found that our fans really connected with our music – with our lyrics, our melodies, our stories – and we’re really grateful for that. It allowed us to be more open in our songs as the years went by, and it’s amazing that they’ve been with us the entire time.”

“They certainly have!” Roy grins. “You sold out tickets to every stadium a week after the tour was announced. That’s certainly an impressive feat. I suppose by now you’re touring veterans. Is it a challenge keeping things fresh for your audience with every new tour, every new album you put out?”

“They’re very good,” Gunter observes as he munches on popcorn. “Very likable on screen and in real life. Do you think we’ll ever be able to go on Roy’s late-night show?”

“Maybe if this momentum keeps up,” Eld replies.

Hanji really is an expert when it comes to public relations. Levi might be the face of the band, but Hanji is definitely the brains behind the entire thing. Even though they’re answering the bulk of the questions, they always wait for Mike to speak every now and again, sometimes even allowing an opening for the drummer to speak. They strategically get Levi to answer every now and again – usually only getting a one-word answer from him – but they’re quick to make a joke or steer the conversation in a new direction so that their bandmate doesn’t look rude. If Levi had been the one to head these interviews, he probably would have turned everyone off from the band with his awful personality, Petra thinks affectionately.

On screen, Roy straightens out his cards once more and looks over at Levi. “So, Levi, let's talk about love. I know you’re a man of few words, but I was wondering if you would be willing to speak with us about this reality TV show you're on,” he grins. If he’s bothered by Levi’s scowl, he doesn’t show it at all. Then again, he might be distracted by how Mike and Hanji are childishly poking and prodding their bandmate, sly grins on their faces. “I believe this show is called Let's Fall in Love!, where two celebrities date each other. You happen to be paired with Petra Ral, the lead singer of the Special Ops Squad. My granddaughter is a fan of your band as I’ve mentioned, but she’s also a huge fan of the Special Ops Squad and of Miss Ral in particular. She’s absolutely ecstatic whenever she sees segments that include you and Miss Petra Ral, and she insists that you two have amazing chemistry.”

Levi looks slightly irritated. At first, Petra believes that it’s because of the question that was asked; she knows that he didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of being a part of this reality show and was only participating for more publicity much like her own band, but she was fairly certain that he wasn’t entirely miserable appearing on the show. Surely, his sour expression doesn’t have anything to do with her, right? She’s about to open her mouth and ask her friends’ opinion when she sees Hanji reach over and squeeze Levi’s arm before glaring at the audience, and Petra realizes that his reaction was not to the question, but to the members of the audience that were booing and hissing at the mention of her name.

“The show is…alright,” Levi finally replies. That flash of anger is now gone from his face, replaced by his usual neutral expression. He fidgets in his seat for a bit before straightening up. “It’s an interesting experience to work with Petra. Her band is very talented.”

At these words, her bandmates begin to bounce excitedly on the bed, silently celebrating because they don’t want to miss anything else Levi has to say. Gunter reaches behind Eld to give Petra a pat on the back, raising his eyebrows at her to congratulating her for being mentioned on the show, and she smiles back at him.

“Yes! Her band does put out wonderful songs – I believe their album is currently number two on the charts; it’s right below yours – but I really wanted to ask your opinion of Miss Ral in particular,” Roy says, giving Levi an apologetic smile. “My granddaughter begged me to ask. She really ‘ships’ the two of you, as the young people say.”

Petra thought that Levi would scowl and refuse to answer the question. It doesn’t seem like his style to answer things like this, and it’s not as if they were really dating, but she’s surprised when Levi seems almost…bashful. He fidgets a little more in his seat, his hand reaching up to run through his hair. “I…she’s very…cute,” he finally says. He looks up, looking at Roy with a tortured expression, but the late-night show host only leans over in his seat, wondering what else Levi has to say. “And…she’s…her voice is beautiful.”

Beside him, Hanji snickers.

“Well, my granddaughter is going to be over the moon when she hears that,” Roy says with a laugh. He turns to the camera with a smile. “That was No Name. We need to take another commercial break right now, but stick around to see their performance! They’ll be playing songs that they’ll be doing on tour, so stay tuned!”

When the camera zooms out and the commercials begin, Auruo immediately mutes the television and turns to Petra. “Did you hear that?” he asks excitedly, looking as if he might burst from joy. “Roy said our name on television! Twice!”

“Never mind that!” Eld says, shoving Auruo so that the band’s keyboardist fell back into the mountain of pillows behind them. He turns to Petra, a wicked gleam in his smile. “Did you hear what Levi said about you? He called you cute!”

“And that your voice is beautiful,” Gunter adds.

“It’s nothing, probably,” Petra says. She shrieks when Eld catches her in a headlock and begins to ruffle her hair. When she breaks free from his grip, she sits back against the pillows and holds one up as a shield so that her friends don’t attack her again. “I mean, he was caught off-guard, and it’s not like he can say anything bad about me without looking like a jerk. He probably just said that to promote the show. It’s not just good for our band. His band gets more attention if more people know about it too.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Eld says, sticking out his tongue. He smiles when he flicks Petra on the forehead. When she yelps, he grins before turning back to to the television and commenting on the commercial that's currently airing.

It’s just for show, Petra tells herself, squeezing the pillow tightly against her chest. She’s fairly certain that’s true, although that flush of pink across Levi’s cheeks was unmistakable. Then again, maybe it was from the heat of the studio lights. She buries her face in the pillow. She should probably be happy that Levi had said such kind words about her, but she feels heartbroken somehow. It’s just for show, she tells herself again and again. It’s not real. It’s just for show.

As soon as the show’s over and they’ve thanked the host, Levi immediately makes his way to their dressing room. His bandmates enjoy teasing him about everything, and they’re going to have a field day after this interview. He tries to escape them by walking as quickly as possible, but of course they catch up to them. Damn tall people and their long legs.

“So, Levi,” Hanji says, throwing an arm around his shoulders. The bassist leans on him, grinning mischievously. “You think Petra is cute, huh?”

“Shut it,” he growls.

“And what is that other word that you used to describe her?” Hanji asks. “Good? Great? Amazing?” They knit their eyebrows together, confused. Looking over at Mike, they ask, “No, those aren’t it. What was it again, Mike?”

The drummer grins. He never starts the teasing, but he’s always happy to play along whenever Hanji invites him to join them. “I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘beautiful,’” he replies. His grin grows wider when Levi visibly cringes beside them.

“That was her voice. I said that about her voice,” Levi snaps as if that makes a difference. Ugh. He probably shouldn’t have said anything at all, or at the very least stuck to just mildly positive compliments – good, nice, alright. Cute? Beautiful? He probably looked like an idiot back there. Petra probably watched him and laughed at how stupid he was, if she was even watching at all. She probably has better things to do tonight though, like write music with her bandmates, exploring the city and its various eateries, or going on a real date with someone she actually liked and not a miserable asshole. For some reason, that last bitter thought makes him feel even worse.

“Aw, come on, Levi. Don’t look so gloomy. We’re just joshing with you,” Hanji says, patting him on the back. They lean down, observing his face. Suddenly, their expression sobers as they ask, “Besides, this is all just for show, right?”

Ah, yes. The constant reminder that this entire reality show is just a publicity stunt. None of it – the conversations and the dates – are real. Even celebrities that do enter relationships with each other as a result of this show split up a month or two afterward. It’s stupid of him to think that anything can come of this other than boosted album sales and sold-out stadium tours. Petra probably goes home after taping every day and forgets about him entirely.

“Yeah,” Levi grunts, his feet dragging across the floor with each step he takes. “It’s just for show.”

[larriefails]

This new BPH2 post, she really can’t let go of 1D or the past, can she?

The amount of drivel...

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Harry was portrayed as a lothario BEFORE July 2011? By whom? Doing what? He didn’t date anyone until C*roline (sorry, I make one exception for censoring names and that’s for child groomers) in like, November 2011, there were jokes about him liking Madison, the girl from WMYB but that wouldn’t be until August anyway. Articles about various 1D members dating or hooking up with fans were run of the mill, but that was for all of them. Cher Lloyd got linked to literally every member except Louis, and that’s because he had a girlfriend. Harry was seen as flirty and fans joked around about his unfortunate pussygate moment, but clearly, he brought that on himself, and it was after X Factor anyway

The only possible “Harry is a lothario” push she could be talking about is that jokey video where Harry is seen as having overlapping dates with all the girls at boot camp, but it’s obviously tongue in cheek, it finishes with Harry going on a date with Wagner, a 50 something year old Portuguese (?) man. And this was BEFORE the band was put together. Why would Liam, or anyone, have to be seen as a lothario anyway? Confused

Louis and Hannah’s relationship wasn’t “spotlighted” they were just dating... so she was there... and they talked about it on the show I think once, maybe twice. None of the other boys had significant others at the beginning. When Zayn started dating one of the girls from Belle Amie (a girl group that was competing there as well), it was actually spotlighted, same when he dated Rebecca Ferguson

She says “switching 1Direction to One Direction” to seem knowledgeable, it’s hilarious. One Direction’s twitter account was created on October 29th 2010 and it was already stylized “OneDirection,” this is just a “the more you know” bullet point she learned that she decided to throw in there to get more credibility. Anyone that’s been a fan for long already knew this, it was stated as a fact in one of their books, but don’t ask me which one now cuz it’s been 7 years. Anyways, what an important marketing decision, Kati, it surely affected a lot of the outcome of the band that would be known as “1D” by 90% of its fanbase anyway

“But there was no larger strategy until July 2011″

NO SHIT SHERLOCK. U wanna know why? Because they didn’t have music out until August... you really are some fresh brand of stupid, huh. Who would waste money in marketing campaigns months and months before having any music to sell? All of them were heavily involved in social media anyway, and with strategic performances here and there, some interviews, a very well received book, signing days, and several other nuggets, they managed to build a stronger fanbase and a lot of anticipation by the time they released WMYB. There was definitely marketing, but, no, of course there wasn’t an overarching marketing campaign for a band with no music for six months.. Just like there isn’t, idk, a hot air balloon business for cheetahs..

And that’s how she starts.. everything after that is drivel and more and more drivel. Very little of it makes any sort of sense or is backed up by any facts other than her wanting things to be that way

Such as this entire paragraph which has me in fucking stitches

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Listen, I’m sure more older people became fans as the band became more popular, and I’m sure there are some men sprinkled in between, but PROFOUND DEMOGRAPHIC SHIFT? Except Harry and Zayn, who have cultivated an older skewing demographic, the core fan base is STILL 13-18 year old girls. And even Harry and Zayn have large percentages of their fan base in that age group still. She really thinks the tumblr side of fandom is in any way indicative of the larger fandom, it’s fascinating to read someone that’s supposed to be old and wise, who’s a mother and a wife, be so blatantly wrong and so delusional. Not even in the tumblr side of fandom now are the fans mostly older with established careers. That’s just the big Larries, and big Larries are what? 1 in 2,000 One Direction blogs? (and I doubt at least 50% of their “well established careers” are real, but I’m not into doxxing people so I’ll take their word for it)

I almost lost my mind when she called tumblr tinhat wank “objective debate and evidence-based discussion.” OBJECTIVE! O B J E C T I V E? bulletprooflarry, the person that left tumblr for a month when Harry announced his solo career because she had been saying for ages he’d never go solo and couldn’t handle being so OBJECTIVELY wrong, is talking about OBJECTIVE DISCUSSION???? Kati you wouldn’t know what actual objective discussion is if it slapped you repeatedly with something smelly while yelling “I am objective discussion” as a plane writes in the sky “objective discussion is slapping you in the face” and some sirens wailed in the distance

Not even gonna go there with “evidence-based” .. I’m sure ur tag “all the reasons ever needed” filled with cropped and edited gifs of 17 yo Harry and 19 yo Louis looking at each other for 0.03 seconds in slow mo would hold in court very well

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H I L A R I O U S. Never seen before! Novel!!!! Only happening because of “this new smarter fandom with professional experience”! No other tinhat fandom doubts the protagonists of their conspiracy theory handle their social media! That’s just the new smarter fandom filled with professional men and women in 1D. Crisscolfer, Kaylor, Supernatural, Camren, you name it. Any CT mined fandom where social media is used, believes the exact same bullshit, Kati. U R NOT SPECIAL. You’re not smarter. The Larrie fandom didn’t “wise up” it tinhatted up. If you left your conspiracy bubble for three seconds and waltzed into literally any other corner of the entertainment world, you’d see that

After this, she drivels on and on about “pics or it didn’t happen” and shit like that. None of it is special to this fandom, Kati. None of it. What you’re describing is tinhatting. It has nothing to do with “this new smarter fandom.” Unless of course you believe in every other celeb conspiracy theory out there and how all the CT fandoms have also, coincidentally, become “smarter”

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This is equal parts self centered, arrogant, delusional, and wrong. 1D’s team did a ton of things to get new fans and it succeeded largely at it. 1D was one of the largest bands in terms of fanbase in the world. It got away with selling millions upon millions of records and selling out stadiums without getting huge songs. To this day a vast majority of the general public only knows 2 or 3 One Direction songs (WMYB, SOML, some will know Drag Me Down). I think it was too big for the teams it had, for sure, but that’s just logic speaking for itself. What other clients the caliber of 1D did Simon Jones, Modest, or Syco have? The only big fish in the game was Columbia. And at times it definitely showed in a lot of things. But to say that they were playing catch up for five years and had no plan whatsoever, is simply disingenuous. And so self aggrandizing.. Recognizing that they had their failures? Cool. Sitting oatur computer at home and pretending that u kknow better how to handle it? Demented

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You know when you read something that’s so wrong that you don’t even know where to start? Yeah..

You were lied about the band getting back together. One by one they have admitted to it, even if not in so many words. First Zayn said he didn’t even like being in 1D ever. Then Harry refused to ever confirm the band would get back together. You had Niall, Liam, and Louis preaching 18 months/2 years, but that soon changed. Niall got tired of being asked a few months into his promo in 2017, said “idk, man, idk! someday!” and asked not to be asked again. Liam lasted a little longer, but he literally said “ask the others, idk, man, idk!” a few months back. The only one standing is Louis, and I firmly believe it’s simply because he hasn’t done as much promo as Niall and Liam, who must’ve reached the point of exhaustion. His defeated “idk, man, idk” is happenning soon. I can feel it in my bones

There’s no leadership in 1DHQ because there is no 1DHQ because there is no 1D. The band is broken up. Gone. Donezo. There’s no one to steer one topic to the next

It’s not the “lack of leadership” which lead the fans to create “microfandoms.” It’s the fact that every member has gone solo..... that created microfandoms. You’re over 40, Kati, please, for the love of God, stop hanging onto a boyband that’s been dead for four years. This is so pathetic to read. Fans less than half your age cried about their lost band for a few days and got over it. You’re still throwing hissy fits on tumblr and talking about it as if it wasn’t deceased

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Just... no

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Louis DOES NOT have the most hardcore fans inside of 1D. He has the most LARRIES. His fanbase is almost entirely conformed by conspiracy theorists, that’s why it seems so hardcore to you. This is not a positive. As a fan of Louis, I can assure you it is not. This doesn’t translate well into literally anything. Y’all are a nuisance and ruin everything. You’re not fans of Louis, you don’t even LIKE HIM. You despise everything about him and everything he is. Everything he does. All the things that have shaped him. You call everything he says a lie and mock his desperate attempts for you to LISTEN TO HIM. That’s the exact opposite of a hardcore fanbase, you shithead. That’s as fickle as it gets, it can (and does) get lost any second. The smallest of his moves can set y’all off and wipe thousands of you from his ranks. Because none of you like even a little of who he really is. Y’all are gonna leave him sooner or later. It’s just a matter of when, not if. Hardcore my fucking ass

What has Harry done to make older white men think he’s cool? Paint his nails? Wear glitter and flowery suits? Sing about men? Proclaim at every chance he gets that he LOVES his mostly female/young audience? That he thinks they’re amazing and how much he appreciates them? What is it that appeals older white men? All the rainbows in everything he does? The only thing “older white men” might like about Harry is his music and its inspiration, that’s where it starts and where it ends, but everything he’s done and said since he’s gone solo is prone to prejudice them against him. He hasn’t lifted a finger to appeal to them. His team didn’t even push his songs on Adult/Contemporary radios (Niall’s did, but I don’t see you talking about that). Yeah, Hall Of Fame will expose him to that audience as well, but you know who else did Hall Of Fame? Miley Cyrus. Was she trying to appeal to older white men? Was that Jannelle Monae’s goal while inducing Janet Jackson? He’s co chairing the MET Gala in a couple of weeks. How’s that for a white older male audience? Being a Gucci model under Alessandro Michele must’ve helped a lot, I’m sure 🙄

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“If One Direction was going to come back” NO. Next question

[harryandmolly]

i could write it better than you ever felt it - two

Summary: fuck growing up. this is freedom, this is life, this is youth -- 2007 Warped Tour style.

Warnings: Language, a lot of tongue

Word count: 5k

Valentina forgets, just briefly, why the fuck she agreed to this around the time she unloads the 30th box from the truck.

And then the gates open.

Val’s never been to Disney World despite the fact that she and her family have lived in Florida all her life. Her parents never thought of it as a suitable vacation or activity for their children’s growing minds. But she imagines this is what it looks like, feels like when the gates of the Magic Kingdom open in the morning.

She’s watching from afar when they start letting people in. Swarms of teens and young adults with multicolored hair and vibrant graphic tees pour in searching out solace and togetherness. They’ll find it here, she’s sure. She always did.

The first bands were on at 11:30am. She’s camped out at her now fully functional merch tent and the initial door opening rush has ceased. She’s officially back in the saddle, and officially exhausted.

Her feet are propped up on the table and her sunglasses are drawn low down her nose as she surveys the area and tells herself she’s not looking for that guy, the one she saw during load-in. The one with the legs.

A hand clamps down over her eyes and her instincts tell her to drop her feet and squeal. A low rumbling laugh falls over her shoulder. Her racing heart settles.

“Alex, you’re a prick.”

And there he is. All 6’1”, 130 pounds of him. Alex Gaskarth, lead singer of All Time Low, her second favorite goofball.

She looks over her shoulder at him and grins despite her grating words. He takes his cue to step around the table and present himself to her. He’s wearing a smirk and a douchey white snapback. He lifts his thick dark eyebrows.

“But I’m your prick,” he reminds her. She shakes her head and stands. He holds out his long, gangly arms for her to wrap herself up in.

She sways them back and forth and lands a friendly kiss on his cheek. “I can’t believe it took you this long to come visit. I half expected the bus would run over you when we pulled in here this morning.”

“Following you around the venue like a puppy is so 2005,” he chuckles, alluding to the not-so-secret crush he harbored pretty famously on her during her last fall tour with Streets. Despite the potential for awkwardness, Alex and Val remained friends. She even wrote with him sometimes when he was in the Miami area.

She claps him on the back and releases him. “What time are you on? Hurley.com, right?”

He grins proudly, rocking back on his heels. “Yeah, can you believe it? Fuckin’ Hurley.com! We’re on at 4 today.”

She bobs her head. “That’s a good slot. Long enough after lunch that people will be looking around for a set to catch.”

“Exactly. Rian’s out with the posterboard now walking the line.”

Val tossed her head back with a laugh. Walking the line was a time-honored tradition at Warped Tour for smaller bands. They designate members to walk around the grounds with a posterboard announcing their stage and set time. It’s a duty no one particularly likes because it’s hot and a little humiliating but the ATL boys always did it with gusto. Val’s pretty sure it had more to do with meeting girls than with the pride of convincing potential fans to come catch their set.

“I don’t miss that shit,” she admits.

He shoots her a look. “You must miss the rest of it, though. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“Psychoanalyzing me already, Gaskarth? Buy me a drink first.”

She gently backs him off with her sharp wit. The truth is, Alex knows more about her than she’d probably care to realize. He’s perceptive as hell, which makes him an amazing songwriter. But here, at the merch table, where she can feel the heavily lined eyes of 17-year-olds staring at them curiously, she doesn’t much feel like getting into her personal life. Especially since she knows he has the ear of Raf.

“I will definitely buy you a drink at the barbecue tonight!” he offers with a glint in his eye.

“The booze is free at the barbecue.”

“That’s perfect, free drinks are my favorite kind to buy. I gotta bounce, I’ll see you tonight, kid.”

He bumps her fist with his and jogs off, holding the saggy ass of his skinny jeans up with one hand as he waves at a giggling group of fans.

When the smell of his Axe body spray and sweat fades, the watchful eyes remain. Val is used to them, had gotten good at ignoring them, but she’s a little out of practice.

They feel sharper than she remembers. She blinks hard, feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She swallows uncomfortably and reaches for a water bottle.

Despite the 50/50 male to female ratio of attendance at Warped Tour and the general understanding that women are more a part of the scene than ever before, female band members, especially female drummers, are not widely accepted. She was bothered by it for a time, unsure how anyone could mistake her drive to write and make music as a way for her to sleep with band and crew. She kept everyone at arm’s length, desperate to keep from gaining a reputation. But it never mattered. She got one anyway.

Val shoots a glance at the gaggle of teen girls in Delia’s jeans and Paramore t-shirts. They pretend to be doing anything but gossiping about her. She turns her attention back to her chipping navy nail polish and smiles. Some things never change.

+

Shawn pulls the fabric of his t-shirt from where it clings to his abs and pulls a face.

“I’m fuckin’ drenched,” he mumbles. Seth nods, squinting against the sun. They’ve just come off their first set playing to about seven people from the Smartpunk stage.

“California is hot,” Francis whines. Shawn beans him with a plastic water bottle. Francis grabs it out of the dust and throws it back, but it goes wide when he gets distracted by something behind Shawn.

Shawn turns his head to look. Through the straggling crowd, he sees Raf and Val Moreno at the Streets of Gold merch tent looking like the casual rock gods they are. Shawn’s smile is shy and cornered on either side by a blush.

“Should we go say hi?” murmurs Vince, their guitar and drum tech.

Shawn winces. “Well we shouldn’t stand here and strategize about it, that’s fucking weird.”

But they do stand there for another minute or two, quietly hoping Raf will spot them and wave them over so they feel like the kids getting invited to sit at the cool lunch table. But he’s embroiled in what looks like a heated discussion with his sister, so they slouch off for a break under the merch tent with Dan and his battery operated fans.

Shawn’s a little relieved. He’s not sure he can be around either Moreno twin without making an ass of himself. He knows Raf, yes, they’ve been first openers on more recent Streets shows when they’ve come through Toronto, but that doesn’t make him any less of a total fucking dweeb around him, given how long he’s been a Streets fan. And Val, Val he’s never met and probably never should. Shawn’s not bad around girls but he has a funny feeling he’d go full idiot motor-mouth if he got to look deep into the soulful brown eyes of Valentina Moreno. Maybe he can go the whole summer without talking to her? Is that possible?

He contemplates the likelihood under the tent with his eyes closed. He hears some female giggling and looks up. There are about six 14-year-old girls staring at them shyly.

“Hey, Shawn!” one of them greets, shoved forward by the others to be their mouthpiece despite the shakiness in her voice.

Shawn beams and stands, looming over them. “Hey, guys! Did you catch the set earlier?”

The leader of the group looks annoyed. “No, only Carly did,” she gestures to a petite Latina girl behind her who looks horrified that Shawn Mendes knows her name now, “We were stuck at soccer camp until noon and couldn’t get here.”

Shawn ducks slightly to seem less large and intimidating. He looks around a girl’s pink hair to catch Carly’s eye. “Did you have fun?”

Carly blinks and clears her throat. Her friends look awe-struck. “Yes. Yeah, you guys were great.”

Shawn bobs his head. “Thank you. You guys wanna take a picture?”

They agree and hand him a little pink Razr. They gather around him as he squats partially to fit them all in the frame. He turns the phone around and expertly positions it to snap the photo. With hugs and a couple purchased t-shirts later, they’re off to bask in the glow.

“Shawn Mendes: setting teenage loins on fire since 1988.”

Shawn smirks at Francis. “Are you jealous about the 14-year-olds, Frank? Do we need to have a talk?”

The band guffaws. Francis’s face goes flat. “Fuck off, you know I love older women.”

“I do,” Shawn chuckles, shaking his head.

“This year is the year I marry Hayley Williams,” Francis reminds them all. Shawn tips his head back and lets his eyes shut again, resting up before the first barbecue of the tour.

“This is the year I fuck Bigfoot,” Seth chirps.

It’s the last thing Shawn remembers hearing before he drifts off in a nice post-show nap.

+

Val can’t really explains the bubble of nerves she feels as she sits in the front lounge of the Streets bus with her make up bag. She’s freshly showered and applying a cat eye when Raf steps out of the bunk area with a resigned smile.

“You look pretty,” he comments half-heartedly.

“Don’t sound so bummed about it,” she chuckles, sparing him a glance as she raises her eyeliner wand with a steady hand.

“I’m not. Sorry. I’m just… I’m sorry about earlier. I was being weird,” Raf mumbles, collapsing into the booth seat across the table from her.

Val gamely lowers her hand to focus on him. She sweeps a wave of almost too shiny stick-straight hair over her shoulder and regards him carefully. “It’s ok.”

“It’s not. It’s not your shit. And I always make it your shit,” he sighs.

Val bites into her lower lip, flipping through her lip gloss options. After a moment, she looks up at him. “It’s just… it’s been a couple years, Raf, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Raf swallows and Val feels his embarrassment in her gut like it’s hers. She winces.

“I don’t know why I still can’t be around her. I feel like such a fucking kid,” he rasps. He nervously adjusts the Taking Back Sunday snapback on his dark curls and huffs.

“It’s not like there’s a rule. You and Bea, it was fuckin’ complicated. And it was so hot and cold and on and off for a long time. You’re not a robot, you can’t turn it off because you want to. And even if she pretends she can, she can’t.”

He looks up. “Did she say something to you?”

“Jesus Christ, Raf, stop. I’m talking to you now as your sister, not as Bea’s friend. I cannot be your informant or your go-between. We’re not doing that again.”

Raf held up his hands. “Right. Yes. I’m sorry. Old habits. Cool. We’re good.”

Raf stands and heads for the door without another word. Val opens her mouth to stop him but his long legs carry him faster than her brain can come up with something comforting to say. She wrinkles her nose and pouts at the magnifying mirror.

With any luck, she’d get her hands on enough Jack Daniels not to be worrying about keeping 15 yards between her brother and his sometimes-girlfriend. But if she wants any booze at all, she’d better leave now.

She follows stragglers from the bus grounds to where they’ve set up the grills and stereos. There’s something romantic about wading through trampled grass, following bonfire smoke and pop-punk to get to where she wants to be. And when she arrives, she’s welcomed with open arms and open containers of booze.

The New Found Glory guys and Bea pounce on her first, doling out hugs and swigs of gin. Val feels her heart pounding against Ryan Key of Yellowcard’s chest as she hugs him because she’ll never be fully over that little crush. She flips off the Streets band and crew as they holler at her from a stack of strategically placed hay bales. They’re surrounded by a younger band she doesn’t recognize.

She gathers a plate of food, high fives Kevin Lyman and snags a beer before she strolls over to join her family. As she stands over them, she sees a familiar face.

“Val, these are the Forefront guys. Guys, this is my sister Val,” Raf introduces, pointing out Francis, Bobby, Seth, Vince, Carter and Shawn.

Val slides on a smooth grin and plops down next to Shawn, Blue Jays skateboarding boy from this morning. Because when life hands you lemons.

“Hi,” she murmurs, fluttering her eyelashes at him when his eyes go wide. He chokes slightly on a bite of hot dog and mumbles “hi” through a mouthful of bread.

She’s undeterred. From this close, she can see the little freckles on the base of his neck and the way his sideburns are curly like the rest of his hair. It’s refreshing – curls aren’t a thing in the scene. It makes him stand out. That and the foot of height he has on anyone that comes near him.

She’s heard of Forefront from Raf. She knows some of their music. They opened a few shows after her tenure as Streets’ drummer, so her familiarity is limited. She likes his voice, though. It’s the kind of voice that makes you want to close your eyes and live in it for a while, let it take you somewhere. She has half a mind to close her eyes and just listen to him talk now.

But he’s gone quiet. She wonders if maybe she threw him off by planting right next to him. Val knows as both a confident woman and a female scene drummer she can be an intimidating presence. She doesn’t so much mind that, but it does throw off her game sometimes.

She drinks a little harder. He does the same. As he does, his body, previously turned away and closed off from her, opens up. He starts looking over at her when she laughs at something Francis said or when she makes her sly cracks that have the whole group roaring. Just once or twice she catches him staring just a little too long. If their faces weren’t bronzed out by the light of the fire, she’d catch his heavy blush.

Some of the group breaks off until it’s Francis, Shawn, Val and Naveen sitting around listening to Francis blabber over blink-182’s Take Off Your Pants And Jacket in the background. Shawn and Val are both picking at straw from a hay bale when the song changes to First Date.

Their heads shoot up like meercats. Val looks at Shawn with a grin. He goes noticeably pink at noticing the same song she has.

“I love Take Off Your Pants,” she confesses, “It was like, a turning point album for me.”

Shawn nods eagerly, tossing his straw aside and licking his lips. She watches the black ring bob distractingly. “Totally. God, Stay Together For the Kids? So fucking good.”

“Oh my god, legendary,” she agrees, pressing her lips into a gentle smile.

He gets his first good look at her for the night. He’s been trying to keep his eyes down, trying not to be weird, but she’s a little magnetic.

He notices her long, rounded fingernails and wonders if she wore them that long when she was still drumming. He wonders if she straightens her dark hair or if it’s that shiny all on its own. He looks at the fullness of her lips and imagines what flavor her lipgloss is. He stops himself when he realizes he’s thinking about how her flared hips would feel under his hands when she’s dancing to Beverly Hills by Weezer.

Now, though, since they’re talking, he has invitation to look at her. She’s a classic kind of beauty with a soft round face, deep, dark eyes and cupid’s bow-shaped lips. She’s kinda tall for a girl at 5’8” but still petite enough to make you wonder how she hits those drums so hard. Or, used to.

She’s beautiful. She’s been beautiful for years. He knows because he’s been a Streets fan since he saw them by happenstance at a little club in Toronto when he was a moody 14-year-old. They had only just gotten signed and were opening for Bayside at the time. He remembers quirking his eyebrows when she took the stage, that little hint of a smirk on her face, that look of “just you watch.”

She plays hard. She’s a damn good drummer. Naveen is a decent replacement, but Val Moreno was special. She is special. And she’s pulling on his hand.

“C’mon, Mendes, I need a refill,” she announces, tugging on him as she turns toward the tables of booze. His eyes fall to the snug back pockets of her hiphuggers. He licks his lips again and follows willingly.

“What can I make you?” he offers gallantly, holding his arms out to the bottles of booze.

Val’s eyebrows lift as she leans against a lamppost. “What is this, “Cocktail?””

Shawn grins at the reference and ducks his head. “I’m a bartender when we’re not on tour. Try me.”

This time Val’s the one licking her lips at the implication. Trying him doesn’t sound like a bad way to spend time.

“Whiskey sour,” she requests with a nod. He beams at the proffered challenge and reaches for a fresh solo cup, expertly whipping up her drink the way he makes them at The Copper Bar back home in Toronto.

He hands it to her with a raised eyebrow. She takes a sip, watching him as he watches her. She approves.

“That’s good. You know your way around a bottle.”

“I do what I can,” he says without a hint of false modesty. Her heart smacks against her ribs. She fights to soothe it as he leads her not back toward their friends but around the perimeter of the barbecue.

“So. First day. You shitting yourself yet?” she asks.

Shawn laughs and adjusts the backwards cap on his head nervously. She blinks and thinks of Raf for a flash of a second.

“Today was rough,” he admits, “We’ve been opening for some cool bands so we’ve had a lot of kids to play for recently. When they’re not trapped in front of you, when they can just walk past your stage to go catch Pennywise on main, I mean yeah, it’s disheartening.”

Val knows the feeling well but gets the sense the sage older sister vibe wouldn’t be appropriate here given how not subtly he’s brushing their hands together as they walk.

“I actually heard people talking about your set today,” she says. He lights up. She brightens up right with him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Some girls at my table said you were playing a keyboard. They acted like they’d never seen one before.”

Shawn shrugs. “I like the keyboard. Feels a little elevated sometimes. It’s different.”

Val slugs back another sip of whiskey and notices how light she feels. She hopes if she starts to float away he’ll catch her.

They make another turn around the perimeter and their cups are empty by the time they get there so they refill. By the time they come back again, Shawn is stumbling lazily, holding Val’s hand high as she twirls toward the table to grab a beer. She’s singing along, and not at all badly, to Pardon Me by Weezer. He watches her with a close-mouthed smile and sparkling eyes and he’s half in love and the other half is three sheets to the wind.

When they reach the table, she drops his hand and before he can feel dejected, she hands him a beer and drags him away from the rabble and the music and the cloud of weed and cheap booze toward the buses. It’s not subtle, it’s public, people are definitely taking note of who’s skulking off with who, and Val seems to pay it no mind. Shawn swings his head back to look at what they’re leaving. He avoids Raf’s watchful gaze and instead stares at Francis who looks a little impressed and a little fucking flabbergasted.

“Do you like touring, Shawn?” she asks, continuing to drag him by the hand like she knows exactly where they’re going. He’s pretty sure she doesn’t.

“I love touring,” he says honestly, hiccupping over the last word. She giggles and turns, walking backwards up the hill with a beer in one hand and his hand in the other. He wants to memorize this moment.

Val Moreno isn’t just looking at him. She doesn’t just know his name. She’s dragging him up a hill to god knows where with beers and it occurs to him there’s no bus call tonight because they’re only driving to Ventura in the morning. What the fuck is going on.

She’s plopping into cross-legged position on a patch of mud. He notices that she doesn’t seem to do much very gracefully, other than hit the drums. He lowers next to her and she releases his hand.

“I like touring sometimes. Other times it makes me… crazy,” she confides, narrowing her eyes at the fairgrounds below being broken down by venue staff. She blinks slowly. He watches her wet her lips and sip her beer.

“It can be a lot,” he agrees softly, unsure of how to answer. He finds himself wanting to be helpful to her in some way, in whatever way she might need.

He gets like this around girls sometimes. He wants to be whatever they want him to be.

She ignores his confused glance and drops her cryptic topic. Instead, she stares out at the floodlights painting the grounds pale colors against the charcoal southern California sky.

“Do you miss drumming?” he whispers.

She doesn’t blink, doesn’t hesitate. “Every day.”

He’s quiet for another minute. “Why did you stop?”

She looks at him warmly. He feels it down to his toes. She puts her beer down and turns to face him, shuffling between his bent knees. She plants her manicured hands on the tears in his black jeans and looks him over carefully. He feels himself go a little hard against his thigh under her study.

“Val?” he whispers.

“Hmm?” she hums, looking up from his impressive arms to his even more impressive face.

“You gonna kiss me?” he croaks, his mouth going dry.

Valentina grins wide. “You’re goddamn right I am.”

She doesn’t so much kiss him as maul him. She launches into his body, securing her hands by his where they’re planted behind him to hold them up. She plunders his lips, sucking his lower lip into her mouth, teasing the piercing to make him moan. She licks hungrily into his mouth. He pushes off his hands to pull himself up right and hold her tight against him, wanting to feel her chest against his, see if their hearts were pounding in time, if they were as in synch as their lips.

She sinks her fingers into his hair and tugs. His body tightens along with his grip on her. He whimpers loud into her mouth, sucking gently at her tongue. She cards her fingers through his hair like she’s desperate for something but he’s not sure what it could be because he’s given her everything he has in this kiss. He bites down on her lower lip when she makes to pull away to his neck.

She tastes like whiskey and beer and her hair is impossibly softer than it looks as he plays with the ends, the fingers of his other hand flirting with the hem of her shirt. She wiggles in his arms until his fingertips nudge underneath. His hands wander up over the perfect caramel skin of her back, over the band of her lacy bra, brushing the downy hairs on the nape of her neck. He thinks about lifting her arms and pulling off her tee but he resists, dropping a hand down to slide into her back pocket instead.

She gasps a little into his mouth at his teasing squeeze. She nips at his lips playfully, giggling into the kiss in a way she hasn’t with anyone in a long time. She knows she’s drunk, they both are, but this feels like its own intoxication.

She pulls back slightly to breathe, tucking her hair behind her ears. Shawn’s lips are swollen and his pupils are blown out. She flicks gently at his bottom lip with her tongue, enjoying the way his breathing hitches whenever she uses her tongue on him. She pecks at his lips, wriggling back into his hand as he experimentally massages her ass through her skinny jeans.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he hisses, grunting when she drops her lips to the freckles she noticed on his neck earlier.

Val smiles against the gently tanned skin, sinking her teeth in to hear him yelp.

“Oh, fucking Christ,” he mutters, gathering her in closer, unwilling to move his hands from her ass.

“Wanna leave a mark,” she murmurs, tonguing his throat. He nods without hesitation.

“Please, fuck, yes,” he rasps, already picturing how it’ll look in the mirror tomorrow morning, how long it might last on his sensitive skin.

Val nibbles and sucks like she’s got a formula in place and maybe she does but he definitely doesn’t care. It feels fucking good. It feels even better, somehow, when she leans back to survey her work and smiles. She likes claiming him.

“So sexy, Shawn,” she whispers into his lips through another sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. He groans in agreement. Her teeth bump up against his piercing and she pulls back to lick at it playfully.

“This is sexy, too,” she comments, pecking at the corner of his mouth, feeling the enamel dig into her lip.

“Yeah?” he pants, blinking his eyes open to see her looking at him with a Cheshire cat smile and hooded lids. He licks the taste of her off his lower lip.

“I like piercings,” she tells him, tracing the sharp line of his jaw with her finger. It quivers under her touch. He keeps his eyes level with hers.

“What… what else do you like?” he nearly gasps. Her eyebrows lift.

“You wanna know what I like, Shawny?”

The low tremor of his voice has him nodding eagerly. He squeezes her ass again for emphasis. “Yeah.”

“I like your hands on my ass. And I like your tongue in my mouth,” she replies smoothly, hooking her fingers back into his curls and tilting his head to stroke her tongue against his.

He moans loud, obscenely, and tips back into the dirt with her on top of him. Her weight is comforting somehow, and the motion kicks up a breeze through her hair, sending a distinctly citrusy scent at him to overwhelm him further.

He hears himself speaking but isn’t sure why he feels the need to, especially since he’s literally talking into her mouth. “You smell good.”

She giggles and their teeth clash and Shawn feels a shiver rip up his back. It’s so casually intimate, feels couple-y and sweet, it makes Shawn a little dizzy. He grunts and tries not to rut into her like a teenager since she’s just lying on top of him and not making any moves to grind against him or take his clothes off. Which he’s fine with, he can totally handle himself. The raging hard-on in his cage-like jeans tells him otherwise, but fuck it. When’s he going to have this chance again?

Val likes feeling him solid and warm underneath her, between her and the briny-smelling dirt. She’s just interested in kissing him, in exploring the way their lips fit together and the noises he makes when she flicks at the tip of his tongue or scratches at the curls on the back of his neck. He’s not pushing her either, which is nice. He’s not yanking at her shirt or shoving his hands down her pants. He’s making her feel like he’ll take what he can get from her when she offers it. That’s kinda nice.

The flood lights go out below them. The party is over. The venue is broken down. They both jerk upright when the world around them goes absolutely dark.

Val pants. Shawn sits up with her between his knees. He groans.

“How are we going to get back? We can’t see anything.”

Val winces. “Yeah, bad planning,” She hops up and takes his hand, yanking him to his feet, “C’mon, baby steps.”

They do get back down the hill to where the buses are. It’s not easy, and they both fall a couple times, and by the time they reach the bottom they’re both certainly more sober. He walks her to her bus and swings her hand playfully, feeling like a kid dropping his date off and wondering who’s watching them from the windows as he kisses her goodnight. She gives him one last little peck on his lip ring before sending him away and crawling into her bunk.

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn​ @alone-in-madness​ @alone-in-madness @singanddreamanyway @accioalena @randi-eve

[aicosu]

Lotura prompt: Victorian/Jane Eyre style courting. Also!! What did you think was garbage about S6?????

It starts with mineral from Caltraak. A custerfori gem on a chain. Pinks and golds, sliced into fractures.  A necklace.

She almost didn’t see it at first. It sits on the Castle’s left control, where her hand hovers over it as it glitters in the corner of her eye. A place only she would occupy.

Meant for her.

It's innocuous. Simple. No bigger than the top of her fingertip.

“You okay there, Allura?”

It’s Hunk who asks.

Her fingers scoop the gem into her hand, and she slides the thin jewelry into the lining of her collar.

“I’m fine.”

She tries not to think about what picking it up means, tries not to think too hard on what it means. And oddly, she knows what it means. She shouldn’t, not now, not hundreds and thousands of years later in a world where such a gesture doesn’t even matter anymore. And where a return gesture can’t even follow. (Altea is gone, her people are gone, she doesn’t even have a handmaiden to take down a poem, let alone deliver it.)

Her hands return to the controls, the panels flashing up like gems of their own.

She ignores it. She ignores the press at her throat or the cold tickle of the links and puts effort into not looking over at the viewport where Corran stands with his back turned, next to the only other Altean onboard.

Maybe it was nothing.

It was probably nothing.

When she returns from a meeting with Ryner and Pidge about perimeter defenses, it’s Pidge who points out the rubric probe before her quarter doors. “Is that--- Galra tech?” “Wait, Pidge--”

The paladin is quick to act though, and the race to the door fills Allura’s cheeks with a heat not related to sprinting.

“Are the Galra sending spies--” Pidge’s hand shoots out to apprehend the floating rubric, it’s activation light making her fingers glow purple. “Pidge wait--Don’t touch it, it’s just-- It’s--it’s for me!”She shouts the last part. Enough to stop the younger girl. She catches up, giving a frown, before outstretching her palms.

The rubric settles in her palm. And Pidge starts to ask her who the message is from, but duly accepted, the probe simply snaps open, light flaring in the hall as a binary melody plays six or seven notes.

It’s an Altean song. One her mother had played for her once. And any idea that the previous gift had been some coincidence or misunderstanding is squashed by the burned in textbook lessons from her days training in court manners and etiquette.

“A message? Is it… some kind of encryption in a music box?”The rubric goes silent. Pidge is staring at her. “It’s… not encrypted in the way you mean. It’s just… it’s an Altean practice for…”She’s not saying it. And she’s not sure if it’s because she’s too embarrassed or too ashamed. 

“It’s an… offer of engagement.”

“For war?” Her eyes snap to the girl in surprise, but then in understanding. What other reason would Pidge think anything but? With the daily troubles they have during the battles around them. War is their every concern. “For marriage.”

“Wait. What!?”“Please--” She urges, a hushed whisper to remind Pidge to be quiet. “It’s--it’s actually quite common among Altean culture to have tokens sent to the one your interested in for matrimony--”“Who is it? Who is proposing?”“We often go months exchanging gifts before anything is officially announced.”“Exchanging? Wait-- so you’re saying you and someone else have been talking about getting married for months? Through drones?”“N-No!” Her ears go hot, and her breast tickles with the necklace dangling beneath her suit. “This is only the second token and… I haven’t… I can’t respond.”Pidge adjusts her glasses with a look of discomfort. “Why not?”“Why not? I--I can’t deal with an engagement now! We’re so busy, and, it, I-I don’t even have time to craft the necessary response, I would need -- I would need an Altean menagerie to have enough variations of flowers in order to properly convey my feelings for him to properly understand.”“Altean engagement sounds complicated.”“That’s not even half of it! As of his first gift, we aren’t even to speak to each other until a lady in my waiting responds with my consent for more gifts or a rejection.”“So get someone to reject Lotor for you then.” “I--”

The name fills the space between them in the hall and suddenly she’s hot all over. And despite being so much taller then Pidge, Allura feels very small, and very young.

“How did you..?”Pidge looks at her with that gleam she gets when pointing out obvious mathematical errors. Her fingers even count out each of her points. “Galra tech, Altean custom. And we talked to Corran this morning. Not that he seems the type. He is kinda old.”Allura’s fingers roll on the rubric, as her jaw works her tongue in her mouth nervously. “Oh, this is… inconvenient.”

“Look… I wouldn’t… normally volunteer. This doesn’t really seem like my area of expertise, but honestly, it doesn’t seem like anybody elses either. Unless Corran.”“Oh no, please-- He’d be livid in my honor, I couldn’t--”“Then if you need a…. lady in waiting...?” Pidge shrugs, and this time it is her whose blushing, looking uncomfortable, but generous.

Allura hugs her.

--

It takes some time. And honestly, it’s not at all traditional. But his gifts had been… imitations of tradition as well. Not that she blamed him. Half Altean and half Galra, she was surprised he even knew the steps.

Surprise. She had put that in there too.

Attendance (but silence) is mandatory. So she and Pidge walk to the pod docks where they know he is.

Shiro is there too, sitting on a crate and helping Lotor rewire his cruiser. Just to make this even more humiliating.

Neither man hear them approach at first, the sautering tool in Shiro’s hand is too loud. So Pidge has to yell.

“Hey! Lotor!” Allura cringes beside her. The honorific is missing, and when the noise goes out and they get his attention, Pidge doesn’t bow.

But to his credit, the Galran Prince seems to know what’s happening immediately.

He goes to his knee.

The drop of his frame seems to sink her heart into her stomach as he does it, slow and calculated. He keeps his eyes on Pidge though, unwavering even as his knows flares.

Shiro’s sauter fumbles in his fingers. “UH--”

“Uh….” Pidge trails. Too.

The Paladins both look to Allura. She nods to Pidge, pointedly, trying not to shake.

This is not how she imagined her first courting to turn out. Not with such impropriety and lack of privacy. Nor did she imagine it would be in a docking bay.

“My… lady, requests you open, uh, this.” Pidge hands over the response token. It’s a palm holo projector.

At first, the confusion on Lotor’s brow worries her. (It’s not the right object, at all.) But he takes it all the same, thumb waving over the signal to turn the holo on.

An explosion of flowers happen digitally. A simulated bouquet unfurling with color and programmed free falling petals. It’s a bit overt. Pidge had gone all out.

“Whoa. What’s that?” Shiro asks.

Lotor’s expression doesn’t change at first, eyes scoping the colors quickly, meticulously.

Yellow is the most prominent. Surprise. Reds leaves for gratitude,  blue calla for trepidation, and orange glowdews, four of them, and a single purple snaptail.

It’s a mess of colors. (She’s a mess of responses.)

No white though.

Lotor stands, snapping the holo off and bowing low. The locks of his hair fall past his shoulder. “Right. Okay.” Pidge says, but turns to look at her confusedly. “We… we leave now.” Allura whispers. “Okay.” “What is happening?” Shiro asks again, standing from his crate and scratching his neck with his hand.

“Nothing!” Pidge answer, “Bye!” They leave them there, Lotor still bowing until they exit.

“Guys? Come on--!”

--

A Dalcycle goes by.

And really, it’s more worrisome than not.

At this point, they have yet to talk, and it’s actually been a bit of a problem. On one occasion, with a strategic meeting about Galran frontlines, they have to talk in 3rd person relating to each other, acting as if they weren’t simply standing side by side.

And, while it would be nice to say the Paladins didn’t notice, they certainly did.

After, Corran asks if the Prince had angered her. Shiro asks if they’re pulling a prank.

Pidge asks her why it’s still going on if she already rejected him.

The Prince himself has been nothing but respectful to the process. He avoids her gaze, and bows her head as she passes him in the lounge or on the bridge.

So after awhile, she wonders if perhaps, it had been a fluke all along.

And the he catches her.

Alone.

She had been headed back from the Olkarion epicenter, the sun dying into orange shafts and shadows, when she nearly walks into him on the Castle’s ramp. She means to apologize, but her lips snap shut.

He bows.

She thinks it’s just another awkward instance then, and means to walk past him, but his hand raises suddenly, and he’s standing straight now. Eyes almost orange in the light itself. “Accept my hand for a walk?” He asks.

And Allura suddenly realizes his voice has been sorely missed.

“Yes.”She places three fingers in his palm, and he leads her back toward the epicenter.

They are quiet for some time. Which is fine. It takes most of her focus to understand the texture of his palms, and the size of them in comparison to hers.

His nails nip at her skin as he releases her to stand quietly.

“Forgive me, Princess, for now I seem to be at an impasse.”“I… had the feeling… it might be so.” She acknowledged.

He smiles. It’s sharp, but his brows are drawn. He’s apologetic. “It’s at this point I would speak to your father.”“Yes.”

“And in Galran culture,” He begins tentatively, gaze flickering from her face to the sunset. “I would be expected to cut blood from my hand to show my acceptance of pain on your behalf.”“Oh, n-no, please, that's completely unnecessary.”

“And to you, most likely more an insult than flattery.” He chuckles. It’s low and heavy. It sneaks through his lips like a breeze. “So I find myself at a loss to continue in a fashion you would appreciate.”She steps toward him, enough that she has to look up. He is naturally tall. And she’s not sure if that is the Galra in him, or if he would be a tall Altean too. “But, I have appreciated it. Everything.”“Have you?”“I can’t be more appreciative. I haven’t… it’s been a long time since basking in any tradition of my people. Even if this particular process is more… intense than others.” She’s aware her face is burning. She blames it on the sun, creasing her eyes as she looks up to his face. “I know it must have taken you time and I… admire your attention to the details.”There’s a smile forming on his face, but he rids himself of it to say, “I only did so to portray my genuine affection.” Affection. The word is like swallowing anti-gravity firmware to hear. She feels like floating away, him saying it so plainly. “Affection.” She repeats. She has too, she can’t believe it. “Yes.”

Yes! Just like that he says it. “I would make it known that as political as all our actions inevitably are, Prince and Princess aside, I do not send tokens without affection in them.”Yes, she got that much but the choices of gifts he made. The music meant, well… it was more suited to an anniversary then a proposal, if that meant anything.“Just as… attraction came with yours?” It’s a question, but it’s said with a grin and Allura immediately regrets the orange glowdews. “I-I’m, I, I would, I am not… dishonest!” It’s all she can manage.

He laughs. She can almost feel the hum of it in her bones.

“And so here we are. At an impasse. I have no way to give you the final token.” He looks regretful and she’s thankful he seems to be sad to miss the opportunity to continue. “I suppose you need a blunt answer then. From me, since my father…”She trails and he steps forward this time, a hand gently cradling her elbow. “Yes. Unless you’d like me to bring you the head of a great beast, as Galrans do.”She shakes her head, smiling, thankful for his charm to lighten the mood. “No. I can… answer.”

His fingers tighten.

Her own hand rises, dips past her collar to release the chain lying secret under her suit. “I… am acknowledging your open admittance of interest in betrothal, with conclusion that I also, would be open to a planned enga--” The cristofori gleams pink in gold, specks of light fracturing off his shadow as his other hand pulls her close and he leans to kiss her.

Between heat and warmth, and the soft sound of his coat furling in wrinkles between her fisted palms, he whispers on her lips. “Forgive the impropriety, Princess, I am simply…. Overjoyed.”She gives him a shaky laugh. “You’re forgiven.”

He kisses her again.