#if this is the universe telling me i need to work on my novel ok! message received!

[wickedhawtwexler]

two separate internet speed tests have said my internet is "fast" like ummm it just took 30 seconds for my discord message to send, shit is not adding up!!!!

[j-nipper-95]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thank you for the tags @artsyunderstudy @iamamythologicalcreature @aristocratic-otter @shrekgogurt @wellbelesbian @theearlgreymage and @ic3-que3n

I am definitely procrastinating on both my WIPs at the moment. Trails is back in limbo, and ASR has taken up permanent residence there recently, and I desperately want to get back to both of them. Here's hoping this will kick start something in my brain! I do love a good Q&A, so let's dive in!

1. 🦈 Tell us the name of your/one of your WIP(s):

I have two WIPs I am actively writing, and one I haven't started on yet, but desperately want to. The Trails We Blaze was my Carry On Through the Ages 2023 fic, and is a The Road to El Dorado!au. Then there's my original novel, A Survivor's Revenge, which I've been writing for far too long and it definitely needs to be published soon!

2. 🍄 Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of "___ + ___ = ___"

Ok, this is much harder than I thought it would be, there's so many elements to each of these WIPs, so bare with me.

Trails: con men in 1920s London find map to Atlantis + WW1 trauma + gang warfare + repressed romantic feelings = friends to lovers action, adventure, and chaos across western Europe that's probably been too intensely researched for the sake of historical accuracy

(Side note: this isn't how I thought I'd use my degrees in history and archaeology, but here we are!)

A Survivor's Revenge: marvel cinematic universe + James Bond = ASR

or - what would happen if Bucky wasn't brainwashed by Hydra and sought revenge on the scientists who experimented on him, was a 14 year old school girl instead of a grown man, and had elemental powers + MI6 super spies and the general aesthetic of a Bond movie = a stab first/ask questions later FMC willing to do whatever it takes to keep her loved ones safe (and I do mean whatever it takes - Lauren hasn't baulked at anything I've thrown at her yet).

3. 🌍 What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it.

ASR will definitely need some trigger warnings for violence (if only because of Lauren's penchant for it), and if it were being posted to AO3 the series as a whole would probably require a 'main character death' warning. This is your formal warning, no one is safe in my writing.

Trails is rated M, so there's not going to be anything too graphic or explicit, but it does have a PTSD tag, as the fic tackles both Baz and Simon's trauma from living through the First World War, and specifically Baz's claustrophobia. So I would probably warn about the panic attacks and discussion of how Baz became claustrophobic.

4. 🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

Neither of these had alternative titles other than my save names (Spy Novel and SnowBaz fanfic) before I decided on anything. I'm useless at coming up with titles, and I can't really claim full credit for either. A friend from uni came up with A Survivor's Revenge, which is really fitting, as revenge is a major theme in the book. And The Trails We Blaze is a reference to one of the songs from the movie The Road to El Dorado, and was Ashton's suggestion when we were bouncing ideas back and forth last year.

5. ⚠️ Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next?

Trails will definitely be finished before ASR, purely because ASR is going to be published as a proper book, and I don't have the cash to do this independently, or the publishing deal to do it traditionally. So I know this will take time. But I am currently working on the next chapter of Trails, so hopefully it won't be too long before I can post it.

6. 💾 What is your document of your WIP/a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you've saved it as)

I have so many variations of both WIPs it's ridiculous. I swear there's been 100+ iterations of ASR over the years, all with variations on either A Survivor's Revenge/ASR or Spy Novel as their title.

With Trails I have my base document, which is where the rough first draft happens, in Scrivener: the trails we blaze - draft copy. And then I also have my final document in pages, where I fix the formatting ahead of exporting to AO3 (because AO3 hates it when I do it straight from scrivener and gets rid of all my italics!): the trails we blaze upload copy.

7. 🖍 Post any sentence(s) from your WIP.

This is probably one of my favourite exchanges in the first ASR book.

“Just like old times,” Lauren said. “Tell me, did you consciously decide to make my PTSD worse by assigning him to me, or was that a happy accident?” “What’s the diagnosis?” Vanessa asked, ignoring Lauren. “Fractured ribs, minor internal abdominal bleeding, concussion, and three broken fingers. She needs to rest for at least a week,” Todd said. “She has a name,” Lauren muttered. “The internal bleeding is minor for the moment, but won’t be if she doesn’t rest.” “Who’s ‘she’ in this, the cat’s mother? I am here, you know.” “Yes, and whilst I would love to trade witticisms with you, I do actually have a job to do. Part of which involves divulging a diagnosis, and pardon me if I feel certain people in this room are going to be more receptive and actually take my advice when I give it.” Lauren glanced at Vanessa. “Is he always like this?” “Just with patients. And most of the people who work here.” “So, everyone?” Vanessa thought for a moment, then bobbed her head from side to side in a movement that said Pretty much, yeah. “If we’re quite done discussing my conduct, I do actually have other patients who need my attention.” “Poor sods.” “Yes, of course,” Vanessa said, ignoring Lauren’s comments. “Have you got a treatment plan sorted?” “I’m nothing if not professional.” “Did someone switch the definition of ‘sarcastic asshat’ and ‘professional’ in the dictionary when I wasn’t looking?” Todd twisted ever so slightly away from Lauren, instead focusing entirely on Vanessa.

8. ♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

Initially in ASR Lauren was framed for the murder of a student, alongside releasing the main villain from prison (not a spoiler, it's literally in my synopsis, no worries there!), and afterward she was forced to go on the run. Essentially, it made the heads of MI6 and Lauren's best friends into her enemies for a few chapters of my drafts a couple of years back. I loved this idea, and genuinely want to implement something along these lines again, because it was an interesting position to put the characters in, but I also really love where the plot is taking them currently, so we'll see if it truly ends up remaining scrapped or not.

9. 🤔 What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

Another original novel, this time firmly rooted in science fiction (no superhero/light fantasy elements here), where time travel is possible, but the super anxious MC refuses to use his powers to travel back in time because of the side effects of said power. Gay romance, anxiety, angst, all the good stuff!

10. 🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

I'm not too active on either of my WIPs at the moment. Work's been crazy lately, and I flip between feeling super burnt out creatively and being too tired to do much. But Trails and ASR continue to be my most active WIPs.

11. 🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

In Trails I've hit an intimate scene, and my little ace brain doesn't know how to approach it! Plus, I don't know how far I can stretch the M rating before we enter E territory.

12. ❤️ Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

All of the kudos to everyone! I wish there was a way to leave it more than once, because seriously, the CO fandom is so unbelievably talented, my God!!

Tagging (sorry if you’ve already done this):

@blackberrysummerblog

@orange-peony

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe

@palimpsessed

[micamicster]

tell me how you'd adapt the book you're most itching to talk about at this moment!

ok so for this one im going to talk about rivers of london, a book series that is theoretically going to actually GET a tv adaptation (ben aaronovitch i am FREE i have THOUGHTS you can hear those thoughts at micamicster dot tumblr dot com).

I have a LOT of thoughts please brace yourselves.

I've talked about it on here before, but to recap: it's a series of detective novels set in a fantasy london of the 2000s. The narrator and protagonist, a biracial police officer (im so sorry for posting about cops. this series and elementary get me every time), discovers the existence of magic when he interviews a ghost as a witness to a murder. In the first book he apprentices with a wizard, becomes embroiled in a territory dispute between the gods of the titular Rivers (most of whom are black women), and attempts to solve the murder the story opened with.

There's like 9(? im not caught up) novels that follow this, so there's a lot of material to work with. They're all solid detective novels in their own right, with each one following a specific case, as well as expanding the magical universe, and contributing to a series-long arc.

Okay I think the biggest draws a potential tv show would have are a) the addictive combination of the detective/mystery genre and the fantasy elements. The rivers are both an intriguing element of the magic system and great characters in their own right. b) the protagonist (funny. observant. self-deprecating. immediately begins conducting scientific experiments on magic in an attempt to establish units... i love you peter). So any tv show would need to make the most of those elements! We would need equal attention paid to the central mystery and to developing the unique magic system. And, as the author himself has said, we would need a charismatic powerhouse of a lead actor to carry the show!

I think that the first book could easily be a single season of tv--there's a TON going on, and a lot of characters to introduce! However I do really love the idea of having multiple cases per season, in a nod to the detective procedural format. So i would most likely have the first 3 books cases happen in the first season, with 2-3 episodes dedicated to each case, while the rivers conflict is a season long arc. This would give us more time with the rivers in general and beverly specifically (beverly brooke my beloved <3) to compensate for the fact that the second and third books in the series don't deal as much with the rivers, so they won't feel absent while those cases are being dealt with.

I might push leslie's arc back slightly, so that as the rivers conflict gets solved she shows up again? And then end season 2 with the broken homes arc. This would require adding some additional cases to season 2 but with the graphic novels and the novellas i think there's a wealth of material to draw from for some straightforward 2-episode cases, while giving more room to the personal stuff and character arcs.

I've been fantasizing about an opening credit sequence that's like an animated map of london's rivers, beginning in antiquity and with the city springing up around it over the centuries until we reach the modern day. Would that i could animate! or draw for that matter...

I also have a soundtrack ive made for this show that does not exist yet. ben aaronovitch i am available! i can make time in my residency to contribute to this show i swear i can! I'll link to it if anyone would like <3

The tv show is unlikely to get made tbh but i just think it could be SO much fun :(

[sieglinde-freud]

i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)

“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you

so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.

but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–

any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great

[chronically-enthusiastic]

ok ok okay, so the Starless Sea is a fantasy novel by Erin Morgenstern, and it revolves around an underground magic library world, that is sort of alive? it's ambiguous, but it's this massive sprawling world full of books and stories and cats.

the main character is this guy called Zachary Ezra Rawlins, who one day picks up an old book of short stories in the library of the university he goes to (he studies video games), and starts reading it, and then realises that one of the stories is about him. it's a bit from his childhood, where he discovered a painted door on his way home from school, and almost almost tried to open it, but didn't cos it was just paint. he went back to try open it the next day, but it had been whitewashed over, but he never really forgot about it. the story ends with him *not* opening the door, and teh last line is 'and so the son of teh fortune-teller does not find his way to the Starless Sea. Not yet.'

he never told anyone about the door, but it was written in a book older than he was. he gets kinda freaked out about that, understandably, and tries to figure out why exactly he's in the book. on the back of the book is three little symbols, a bee, a key, and a sword. he tries searching for these symbols, but all he can get is one picture of a woman at an annual literary party wearing a necklace with the bee key sword on it - the next literary party is a few days away, so he buys a ticket and goes looking for clues.

he meets mysterious guy called Dorian who tells him a story about the Heart of Fate in the dark, and Dorian gives Zachary some strange instructions to break into a building and steal a book, and then some stuff happens and he meets this woman Mirabel (who was the one with the necklace, he works out later) who pushes him through a painted outline of a door, and he ends up in a magic elevator going down into the magic library place, which is full of piles of books and strange paintings and cats, and is really really cool. he and Mirabel have to rescue Dorian from the building he broke into, because there are some people who are trying to stop anyone ever getting into the magic underground library, and they'll do anything to stop people getting in there.

the place (it's called the Harbour, it's a Harbour on the Starless Sea) is sort of... crumbling?? it's very very old, and almost no one lives there anymore--it used to be full of people, but that was a really long time ago, and it's sort of a tragic shadow of what it used to be. but Zachary loves it, feels more at home there than he has anywhere else. 'homesick for a place you've never been' is the phrase used which i think is just so beautiful. and they have to work to save it, and he and Dorian have a bit of a crush on each other as well, and have to save each other a little bit AND I WON'T SAY ANYMORE OF THE PLOT COS I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT BUT OUGHHH IT'S SO GOOD

the cool thing is though, the book that Zachary finds himself, it's called Sweet Sorrows, and the book he steals for Dorian is called Fables and Fortunes, and we get to read those too, interspersed with the main plot. and the further you get through the book you realise that the things happening in those books are things that happened in the Harbour, some a very long time ago, and there are characters who were the same person, and all these metaphors winding together, and it gets kind of complicated but once you work it out it's SO BEAUTIFUL AGNSGNASG. it's all one interconnected story. and it's kind of sad but hopeful as well and hrmhrmn i've read it a bunch of times and every time i read it the beauty of all the stories just gets me completely and i notice new connections and oughhanganasgn

it's my favourite book ever and i love it so so much. everything is described so beautifully and it's incredibly well written and it's so magical and i love it i love it i love so muchhhh

anyways that's a quite a lot i hope you enjoyed my braindump :D <3

OH MY THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE I NEED TO READ THIS NOW! awjsjjshsjahshwkshsjwj

THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH ME! It seems like such a cool concept and I love o terconnected stories!!!!!!!!! *makes plans to visit library soon*

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

ok. i took a long, long time (song ref) but hi!!!!!!!!!

1. titanic fic (*cue shit-eating grin*). umum. im curious if there's anything about the morse code yet. or codes in gen actually. so. sentences with the word "code" :3

2. titanic vid!!!! Idk if you like the engineering aspects, but there still were a ton of other facts sprinkled in (spiral staircases, people that monitored coal balance, separate staff room for firemen, how they got air down there etc) https://youtube.com/watch?v=4begc_U8ygI#searching

3. surprise!! this is an interview. i have some Official Author questions for you (feel free to pick and choose, come back to this later, or just striaght up ignore lol):

3a. Do you have any authors (professional or not) that you aspire to be like one day?

3b. Following that up, are there any specific works (again, published, professional, etc or just amazing amateur works!!) that really inspire you?

3c. What made you start writing? I'm curious on anything that led to the conscious decision, of course, but additionally do you think there was anything you grew up with that "planted the seeds"? Was it any of the people from question 3a?

3d. What's the silliest (/pos) idea you've ever had for a fic? If you didn't write/publish it, why not? Was it a recent thing? If not, do you think your experience would have influenced that idea today?

if those dont make sense u can send me a messgae or something 👍👍👍 goodnight

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS but im here okay……. lets do this. hi pep :>

1) alas, i’ve been focusing on a lot of other things so i havent reached a written point of the Code Usage, which begins in like chapter 3-4. sorry man 💔 (progress has been made ! just not as much as i’d hope 😭)

2) FUN FACTS?!??!??!??!!?!!? IM WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY RN BUT IM YOINKING THIS RIGHT AFTER YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

3a) uhmmmmmmmm i dont exactly pay attention to authors as much as i pay attention to books but you know what. rick riordan. not because of anything he’s done or written but because of his audacity to write 20+ books in the same universe and still get 100000000000000 people 1000000% invested in it. i wanna write sequels forever. can i be him

3b) OHHHHHHHH UHM UHM UHM UHM the thing that got me into fanfic specifically was the fic “versability” (it was a gf fic about ‘what if ford never made the portal’, written like 2015-16, and yeah i did know of and even read a bit of fic beforehand but i was never into it) but just READING ? the land of stories by chris colfer, easy. mmmmmmmmm that was my fucking Thing. if i wasnt a baby at that time i would have WROTE. SO. MUCH. GOOD GOD. IT WAS MY THING. THE THING THAT GOT ME INTO NOVELS. URGH. alex my iconic mentally ill bisexual, conner my precious cynical boy. i need to read those again my GOD now i think about it that was fairytale fanfiction that happejed to bepublished and ohhhhh it was beautiful. im gonna read jt . iM GONNA DO IT!!!!

3c) in writing in general or just fanfic? for fanfic its that one day i had an gf fic idea (that i had to heavily revise/rewrite, but it did end up getting out eventually) that i hadnt read anything like it, and i wanted to see it. decided: hey, im shit at writing, but might as well!!!!!! 65k words later, its not a joke anymore. im a Writer now :) but as for in general, well ofc reading books. people told me in the past im creative and should get into book writing if you like reading so much. i decided well im gonna do it professionally, but might as well do something tiny, so i well uh wrote. im not gonna tell you but it certainly was Something. classic isekai mary sue dramatic plot hybrids etc etc etc but actually the queen the mc is “related” to is actually polyam and was in a relationship with both their dad and their mom and the big villain is the queen’s sister who’s pissed that both of her lovers ditched her for the human world (but actually they had to break up because because the society was not polyam friendly. there just happened to be a war after that). everything else was basic isekai except for that little crumble of lore. the queen was a bisexual. the dad was a pansexual. the mom was a lesbian. i think i ate there to be honest

3d) mmmmmm i gotta think. there was definitely a gf x amphibia au where ford got ploped in amphibia and the plantars IMMEDIATELY stole him and wrapped him up in their adventures right when the plot starting becoming a thing (early season 2). there’s one where stan and ford just….. climb a tree. it’s laced with a lot of philosophical talks straight from good omens knowledge but ultimately its just goody fun. mmmmm theres one where gabriel has no idea what crowley looks like, but he DOES know what Bildad The Shuite looks like, itd be tiny but so so so so funny. the gf/gomens crossover…..a human au based on that one tumblr post about a necromancer bringing people back from the dead to fuck with the killer and opening a discord support group….. the s1 humans + aziraphale being the victims, crowley the necromancer, and the s2 humans being the nosy outsiders who Notice things happens but can never say shit. oughhhh……… Yeah. yeah, thats good. most of these are recent except 4 the amphibia one, wouldnt change much about it even with the shit i know now EXCEPT being able to handle the relationships/emotions between the characters better, ive certainly gotten better at it and i love it. i havent published any bc either i started but couldnt finished, or just thought it was neat and moved on to plop it in the ideas folder and wait 4 inspiration.

OKAY THATS A LOT BUT THERE YOU GO sorry for the wait, man. you’re my best cupperty you know that right 🫵 ANSWERS!!!!! and ill work on titanic as fast as i can, it hasnt been forgotten !! i just gotta mow the grass….. (“short” fic wips)

[kentopedia]

hiii sweet rylie ^_^ i need to hear more about you and dazai bc i know nothing of him (& your selfship) so that must be fixed !!! how did you two get together ? ᰔ

AIMS HEHE <3 omg the selfship lore for dazai is so much fun, i have a lot !! so i have one in the canon universe & then i have a little au of him as the port mafia boss semi-based off one of the light novels called beast :,) teheh i love him loads ok

so i guess they are both kind of coworkers to lovers tehe :3 but in the canon universe, i work at the armed detective agency with him & we're both detectives !! (i do have a special ability but don't ask me what bc i don't know i can't come up with anything LMFAOO). and i started working after dazai bc my friend (kunikida if you know who he is) recommended me ^-^ but him and dazai have a gojo / nanami sort of relationship so he is essentially like... you should avoid dazai ADHFSHD. but of course that is impossible bc dazai is very flirtatious so he's always pestering me & i pretend to be annoyed. and listen.. he won me over easily but i'm never admitting that ok. anyway, basically for a long time i thought my feelings were unrequited bc i was like oh dazai is just like that, he just flirts with everyone sob. lots of pining !!! and when we finally get together, it's after i get hurt on a mission, and it's not superrr serious, but enough for people to be worried. and i come back to the agency and am waiting for yosano, who's the doctor, and dazai is a little overbearing asking why i didn't call him etcetc and i get a little annoyed like i'm fine ?? why are you so worried and then he just kind of lets it slip that he's in love with me. very dramatic AHAHA.

ooh and for the mafia one, dazai is a lot more serious. there's an event that happens in canon that makes him change his life (i don't want to spoil), but in this au that doesn't happen, so his personality is a lot different!! i'm an assassin in the mafia in this au, but we're also kind of friends bc i've known him since we were teenagers. and so i guess it starts out kind of like a fwb situation, we start sleeping together and it's very secretive tehe. and then, dazai starts asking me to go on less dangerous missions, and sending me with chuuya and akutagawa (who are essentially the strongest in the mafia) so i'm safer, things like that. we have a big conversation where i tell him everyone's getting suspicious, it's not fair i'm getting special treatment and my reputation is falling apart bc people know i'm sleeping with the boss. and then he says something along the lines of well, it doesn't have to be a secret if we're actually together :3 so that's how that goes hehe

omg aims thank you for asking me, pls it's been soooo long since anyone asked me about dazai i had to dust off the lore <3 my special little guy :,,,)

[galactic-pirates]

Hi! For the questions for fic writers: 1, 6 [Time Will Tell], and 18 [Life Without Purpose], please?

Yay, thank you!

1) What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Hmm. Given I have moved across fandoms it really depends on that. I mean it’s no use reccing a Librarians fic to a Sanctuary fan (even if I did cross them over and do think they work well together).

I have written one shots and I have written novel length fics. I feel like I mostly write plotty these days but I have a lot of fluff on my AO3 too. Especially back in the day I wrote a lot of prompts.

So yeah it’s like one fic doesn’t encapsulate all genre, fandom etc. Maybe I guess for a ‘taste’ a shorter fic as an intro so perhaps one of the Librarians fics? I did half a dozen for prompt month a couple of years ago.

6) What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Time Will Tell 🤔

I find this question hard because did I put it in the fic? Have I just rambled about it? Have I not said it before? Can I remember the difference? No the answer is no haha. So yeeeeah erm… ok let me think.

The difficulty of this question is why the ask has been in my drafts for a couple of days. I have been struggling to think of a good answer. I mean with it being fanfic I was free to indulge myself and so I had that epilogue with all my headcanons about the intervening century.

I think what I might need to say is “do you have any questions?” I have really tried to think of a detail off the top of my head and failed but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something. It just means I am struggling. Sorry :/

18) If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

It’s kinda hard to write a sequel when all the characters are dead. Well I suppose Nikola is left but he’s alone, the world is apocalyptic. It’s all very bleak.

I think if I had to continue it somehow then a sequel would involve time travel, like Nikola going back in time to stop the outbreak from happening. I need to get a happy ending somehow.

[avelera]

I'm thinking in Giving Sanctuary I'm gonna start introducing some gentle time skips pretty soon. Just little things like "they rested the remainder of the day" or "a week of status quo later" type stuff.

One of my biggest regrets in "Come live with me" (besides the title... which is too long...and the summary.... which barely captures the actual story at all...) is that I just... always had an idea for what would happen in the very next minute of a scene! And everything is so fun and high drama that I figure I might as *well* show the very next scene! You lose tension and buildup whenever you do a time skip! (HotD I'm lookin' at you)

The downside is, technically CLWM takes place over a year and we're two and a half days in because of my penchant for showing the very next scene. We're also a decently long novel into 2.5 days so, in terms of reading experience (and me, the very tired author's endurance) it feels like a great deal more time has passed.

Admittedly, there are developments in Dream and Hob's relationship that might make a bit more sense if they'd happened over a longer period (but I push back on that because 1) they're both dramatic bitches with 400+ years of pent up emotions and conversations to work through and Hob's not gonna waste any time, ok he's used to having like 5 minutes to tell his life story and maybe have a conversation with Dream before an unkind universe or Dream's own temper tantrums interrupt). And I think my causal chain of events is pretty solid so while I don't mind this all happening in a couple days, I really would like to start moving the actual calendar forward at some point before we hit 300,000 words (jk... but what if....)

Anyway. With apologies to everyone who'd love to see every meticulous minute of Giving Sanctuary.... I think the boys are tired after the emotional crucible Hob just went through and might need a break before we dive into the next crazy emotionally intense scene lol

[neiptune]

ok so, sry for answering in the comments and continuing the conversation here, but the character limits in the comment section had me walking in circles (also sorry for the long text ahead, talking about books always has me rambling)

admittedly i had to google who ferrante is, but now that will definitely be a name i'll look out for the next time i'll go the library- do you have any recommendations? :))

i started regularly reading classics only about three (?) years ago bcs the ones that were written in english i wanted to read in their original language and it took me some time to grow confident enough in my english level to attempt to get through them (as you probably noticed english is not my native language😂) so I have a lot to catch up on!

what i read from dostoevsky i rlly liked (made the mistake to read anna karenina as my first russian novel when i was fifteen - took me some time to get back to russian literature after that)

as cliché as it is, i actually really enjoyed what i read of austen's novels as of now, i just started reading my first murakami so i'm excited to see what that will be like. not (exclusively) but in general i also really enjoy oscar wilde and ocean vuong's works, i have to read a lot for university so during the semester i started reading more short stories and poetry or just light romance or sometimes fantasy novels that don't need my full concentration. or i just reread some of my favourite novels when i was like 15/16 as comfort- what are your comfort books?

sorry againf for the loong text, i hope you have/ had a good day! :)

Please never ever apologize, I love getting messages in my inbox <3 Bonus points if related to books, I've been so excited to reply to this!!!

Yes I absolutely do have one suggestion: please read the my brilliant friend series. I know they're 4 books but after you finish the first one you're not gonna be able to stop: the writing is phenomenal and they have pretty much changed my life. The books tackle female friendship, childhood, competition, adulthood, the post-war stultifying culture of naples, class struggle and so much more in a way that will leave you gasping for air. If you decide to give them a go please let me know, I'd be so happy to hear your opinions! (not going into more detail otherwise this post is going to be 5 pages long lol)

I 100% couldn't tell you're not a native!!! Found myself being a lil jealous of how well spoken you are instead (obviously not a native either here haha) and I must say, I've always read a lot of classics, mostly english literature and mostly bc of school assignments! Lately I've been slacking, there are so many books I bought bc I wanted to enjoy them in their original language but eh, never really touched them again :( I miss being an avid reader and I hope to get back on track this year! I looooove murakami like I know he's problematic but his books have changed my life, especially norwegian wood! I must admit I only read pride and prejudice by austen and didn't like it, also never watched the movie, but I'm willing to give her another go through sense and sensibility eventually :) I'm also trying to step out of my comfort zone and read more fantasy, I really liked the priory of the orange tree and the ninth house! Anddd I also love horror so I should really explore it more, I absolutely love shirley jackson! NOW ONTO COMFORT BOOKS. I'm so sorry but harry potter will always bring comfort to me. JKR can absolutely get fucked but those books shall be held close to my heart forever, they just feel like home. I also non ironically loved the twilight books lmao I'd be absolutely willing to reread! I'm gonna add a few more to the list: little women, the pollyanna series, the hunger games, wuthering heights, the secret history, alice in wonderland, the secret garden and literally any goosebump!!! My turn to apologize for the long ass reply but books are a topic I love too much so I can hardly shut up 🥰

[bardofavon]

18, 25, 26!!

weird questions for writers

these are going to be under the cut because they're long as hell! i said too much!

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Ok I'm going to veer off the rails here and talk about my Onceleer fanfiction, AKA my magnum opus.

“Because I knew it wasn’t going to. Stop me, I mean. Because I’d done everything, I’d had everything, and I felt empty. I reached the peak of the mountain I’d been climbing since the day I’d been born. Instead of enjoying the victory, I was consumed with the knowledge all that surrounded me was waste. It was cold, and it was desolate, and it was everything, and it was nothing, and it was mine . It washed over me. That was it, that feeling, in that moment, that was all that I was ever going to feel. After all of my work, those were my wages.” 

He’s not sure why he’s rambling about all of this to the one person in the universe guaranteed to have no sympathy for him. Hell, maybe that’s why he’s rambling to him about this. Maybe he’s past the point of needing sympathy. Maybe he wants a little bit of retribution for his actions after all.

He sips his cold coffee. 

I went into this knowing exactly what story I wanted to tell because I had this picture in my head of the One-ler and the Lorax having a conversation together at the end of the world. Actually writing that, though...well, it's surprisingly both difficult and easy to write a fanfiction This Serious about Dr. Seuss's The Lorax.

With this passage specifically, they're sort of at the point of the conversation where the Once-ler realizes he doesn't know how they got there. The implication is that they might be in hell, or purgatory, or he might be going crazy, or he's so broken at this point that the answer of where they are and how they got there isn't important anymore. I had him talking through the last things he remembered, and one of those things was the last tree falling.

I watched the scene from the movie (which actually I don't even really enjoy the 2012 movie that much, it's complicated AHAHA) and then afterward just sort of sat there and thought. like. god. this sad fucking man. even his mom left him after this.

I just thought about how I thought he might feel in that moment, when he realized he'd destroyed the world for nothing.

Also, it didn't hurt that I had recently gotten what I thought was my dream job and then ended up in a new city by myself where I was making lots of money but had no friends and hated my life.

The 'it was cold and it was lonely and it was everything and it was nothing and it was mine' felt a little like projecting, but tbh all my writing is a form of therapy sometimes.

In terms of how it changed from start to end, I'm absolutely ridiculous and I usually only write one draft of a scene. I think about it and play around with it in my head for weeks but once I write something I'm like..."yeah okay, this slaps"

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Ok this is fun. Irrelevant to any fanfiction but the villain-protagonist of my novel joined a theatre troupe once in his late teens, did one very bad performance, and then decided he absolutely hated it.

Also, I have decided that in my story The Darkling is the kind of person who's really weird about chewing. Like. He has to make sure he chews an equal amount of times on both sides of his mouth so that the other side doesn't get left out.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

OMG every day I regret diving in there!! I literally don't get out!! My favorite perspective to write in is third person limited, it's the POV I wrote my novel in and it's the POV I'm currently writing A Good Myth in so I spend a lot of time in my character's head. For my fanfiction, I spend a LOT of time dwelling in canon. Once I know I'm working on something I stay away from other fics so that my version of the character is only aligned with canon and not other fan interpretations. I literally reread every single Kaz POV chapter in the duology probably 15 times at first.

For my original works, I make sure I know like...every single detail about the character. I usually spend several months with my characters before I actually even start writing whatever I'm working on until I know them backward and forward and can just sort of live inside their brains.

Generally speaking, for original works and for fanfiction, I make playlists for them, I listen to songs and imagine how they would feel listening to said songs, I create pinterest boards like these.

Getting out of their heads, though??? That doesn't really happen. Sometimes I'll be going through my day and I'll just think about them, or how they would feel about things or react to them. It's like all the characters in my stories are little imaginary friends and also I'm insane, idk.

I'm a very empathetic writer so if I'm writing a scene and the character is anxious, I'll be anxious while writing it. If a character is fighting and they start crying I'll start to tear up. If they're getting heated I'm getting heated.

It can be exhausting tbh so sometimes I wish I had a different style of writing because I can really only sit down and dedicate myself to it when I'm in a good headspace.

[tigermousse]

Amnesia: Memories

genre: otome, romance, mystery, thriller, supernatural

You are waking up in a strange world to find out that you don't have any memories. And you have only 31 days of August to regain your memory with one of five (1 hidden) pursuable characters. You won't be alone on your journey, though. There would be now an unearthly creature with you, which is the unwilling cause of your amnesia. It is invisible to others and can't get away from you. Basically it is a voice in your head telling you to do things *wink wink* But when you will finally return your memories, it will separate from you and return to its world. Also you'd better be discreet about your amnesia, because then probably people will put you in a hospital ward and you won't be able to regain your memories in time. In every route you're finding yourself as an eighteen year old first grade student of psychology in the university, living alone and having part-time job in the maid-and-butler cafe, where is most of characters working too. Apart from the supernatural cause of your amnesia, most routes are basically slice-of life, managing your work, friends and relationships.

This is a classical japanese otome game. You pick he romancable character from the beginning and then you are going to one of the parallel worlds, that are pretty much the same except for your relationship with character in question. At first there are only four main routes, you have to complete them all and achieve 4 good endings in total to open the secret route, which is True Route. Any time you can check scales for relationship with characters and find out how your choices affect it.

The best thing about about the game is that every love interest needs different approach. Some can be trusted completely, but it is better to be suspicious with other ones.

All routes' stories are pretty much different, though some are intertwined. At some point several story lines lack logic and even contradict themselves, but who even reads otome visual novels because of the story? What I want is romance and emotional connection to characters. Also this writing made me laugh, and it it rare case with japanese visual novels, so I value it.

CHARACTERS:

Protagonist (namable)

I would give her the award of the most bland, characterless and passive heroine of all otome games ever, but the japanese like their heroines this way, so I guess she's not the worst. Also I understand that the lack of personality and emptiness of speech can be caused by amnesia, but even on the CG, she has absolutely blank stare. Not a thought in this pretty head of hers. Sometimes you have to decide which of her replies is better between the "Ummmm..." and "...". On the other hand when she regain her memory, it appears that before she had amnesia, she was pretty much OK, strong-willed and hard-working, also she was standing to characters and defended herself.

My rating: 2/5

Love interests (MILD SPOILERS AHEAD):

Probably they should be picked in order of the world choosing: hearts, spades, clubs, diamonds, joker

Shin (World of hearts)

Shin is a childhood friend of protagonist and Toma. In childhood they even called themselves brothers and sister. But when he grown up, he grow romantic feelings to protagonist and asked her out. Though he is afraid that she doesn't see him as a man, because of their lond-time friendship and the fact that he is a bit younger. He is a bit rough and very self-conscious, sometimes he is lying, for a good cause. Otherwise he is caring, loyal, hard-working and independent. His route is the only one in which the protagonist has a physical reason for amnesia, that's why the story would be a mystery one and you will have to help him find out who's to blame for it. (He's the only one of four, whose clothes doesn't have his card symbol)

My rating: 5/5

Ikki (World of spades)

The casanova of the group, Ikki has the peculiar supernatural ability to make girls fall in love with him if they will look in his eyes. Because of that a lot of girls wants to date him and he doesn't see the reason not to give them what they wand, but only for three months. Because there is plenty of fish in the sea, he even has a fan-club. But with the protagonist his eyes weren't working (or were they?). That piqued his interest and he found out that he's feeling to protagonist something new. Could it be love? In a way he's still lacking empathy, despite he is charming and very polite. Ikki is studing economy in the same university as Kent.

My rating: 3,5/5

Kent (World of clubs)

Kent is the best friend and the opposite of Ikki. He is a nerd, and understands mathematics and science better than human relationship. Serious and strict, he has read some lessons for the protagonist, and later they grew closer, meeting during their morning walks. Despite their discussions and arguments, Kent found out that he has feelings to the protagonist and asked her to go out with him even though he thought that she hates him. He is very clever, honest, reasonable, trustworthy and hard-working, with a touch of authority. Kent's route is the only one which is very down-to-earth and normal. You are building pretty healthy relationship step by step. He may seem a little boring, but for me he is a favorite character.

My rating: 5/5

Toma (World of diamonds)

I hate him!! (however I know that in Japan he is pretty popular, they like their yanderes)

Because of the marriage of their parents in early childhood Toma and the protagonist became brother and sister, though not blood related. Later their parents divorced and married different people, but the friendship of children only grew with time. Also they lived close to each other and went to the same school, Toma is one year older than protagonist. Toma is the only one which the the protagonist remembers immediately, because of their close relationship. She doesn't think though that he sees her in any other way than his little sister, who he needs to take care of and protect of everything. OVERPROTECT, I would say. The central point of story it is the overprotectiveness and jealousy of Toma, which makes him to do some things to protagonist which I won’t tolerate in any fiction: taking away the freedom.

My rating: 0/5

Ukio (World of Joker)

This is a True route, which you can unlock only after you got a happy ending with every other character. I won't say a lot about him, because it would be a spoiler. But he definitely has as obsession with protagonist. Only that you are meeting him in every other route as a minor character and until the very end you can't say for sure is he friend or foe. But one thing is clear - that he is not in his right mind, so you have to be careful around him until his own route. Later he will say it to you himself, a lot. His route is disturbing and somewhat scary, but for me he wasn't so bad. At least his character is tragic. And I have a weakness for tragic psychopath (alas in real life too)

My rating: 4/5

Overall:

Originality:5/5

Story: 4/5

Characters: 4/5

Romance 5/5

Graphics: 5/5

My rating: 4,5/5

[missywritesfor7]

🌺 Promise Flower | PJM 🌺

Synopsis: Jimin is a popular dance student and the best one at his university. Mina is a photography student and has known Jimin since high school. An idea for a photo project finds Mina getting closer to him than she ever has before. She learns how big his heart is, but also learns how closely he guards it. Every time she thinks he'll let her in, he pulls away again. Is it even worth the trouble?

Pairing: college student!Jimin x fem!oc

Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcoholism

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

|| Ch. 23: A Very Strong Thing ||

I’m not ok. I don’t know what ok is anymore. I messed up so bad. Jimin, my Jimin, walked out of here near tears last night and it’s all my fault. There’s so many things I did and didn’t do. So many things I said and didn’t say. Now my heart is shattered knowing I had every opportunity to avoid hurting the one person who means the world to me. I wish I could take it back.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I spent most of the time crying. My head hurts and I can’t go a few minutes at a time without crying more. I really fucked up.

Tae comes over and I consider not answering the door until I remember that we were going to work on our assignments together. I haven’t told him about last night but as soon as he sees my face when I open the door he instantly knows something is wrong.

“You look awful, what happened?” He asks pulling me by my arm to the couch.

“I messed up,” I say trying to hold back tears. “I messed up so bad. You were right, I should’ve been direct with Jimin but I wasn’t sure how. Then last night everything boiled over and I yelled at him. I didn’t really mean to, but it was already too late. I hurt him and I don’t know what to do now.” My tears begin falling and I lose my composure. I’m inconsolable despite Tae’s attempts to get me to calm down and breathe.

“Try to take it easy,” he says hugging me. “Have you tried to talk to him again since then?”

“No. He probably doesn’t want to talk to me. He probably doesn’t even want to be with me anymore. I didn’t want to hurt him.” My tears begin to flow even heavier and it’s a miracle I even have any tears left.

“I know you didn’t want to hurt him. That’s why you need to talk to him now more than ever. He’s an understanding person, right? You have to explain how you feel to him.”

“I don’t know how I feel,” I sigh. “I don’t know how to put it into words. I don’t even know how to make my feelings make sense. All I know is my heart is in so much pain right now. I know that knowing I hurt him makes me feel like the worst person on the planet. I know that the thought of losing him is unbearable. Tae, I don’t know what I feel, I just know that it hurts so fucking much.”

“Do you love him?” He asks softly.

Love? What the fuck is love? I love a lot of people. I love my parents, I love Tae and Jin and all my friends.

“Are you in love with him?” He reiterates.

That’s even more confusing. How do I answer that? I don’t even know what the answer is.

“Tae, I don’t even know what that means.” Tears are still streaming down my face. “How am I supposed to know?”

“You just know,” he says with a shrug. “Only you would know.”

“Do you love Taylor?”

“Of course,” he says with a smile.

“How do you know?”

“I just listen to my heart.”

Right, what a novel and cliche concept. Listen to my heart. At the moment my heart only knows pain.

We spend more time sitting on the couch while I cry off and on, and I forget we’re supposed to be working on our projects. I start off taking photos of Tae since I’m not feeling up to being in front of the camera right now.

When I finish shooting a roll of film under his direction, he takes my camera to get photos of me. I tell him I really don’t want to right now. My eyes are terribly red and puffy, there’s no way I’m going to let him take pictures of me. Of course he’s persistent and begins taking photos of me anyway. He claims there’s a solemn beauty in capturing sadness. I don’t like the idea of being the sad subject, but I tell him if he can make me look good at least take the pictures candidly. I’m definitely not in the mood to pose for photos.

He stays over through half the day until Jin comes home from whoever’s place he crashed at last night, usually either with JK or Namjoon. He makes us lunch and I have to go through my entire story of last night when he realizes I look terrible and asks me what’s wrong.

“Why are you still here?” Jin asks. “You should be talking to Jimin right now!”

“I know I know, I just don’t know what to say to fix it,” I say.

“It doesn’t matter,” he scolds. “You just need to go over there and talk to him! If it hurts you this much, and I know it’s probably hurting him too so you need to be with him working it out right now.”

“I tried to tell her,” Tae chimes in. “It’s like trying to get through to a toddler.”

“You’re not helping,” I say rolling my eyes.

“But I’m right.”

“He is,” Jin says. “What you do is ultimately up to you, but if you really want to fix it then you just need to go talk to him and not let another day pass without doing so.”

The two of them continue on telling me how much I need to talk to Jimin sooner rather than later. I feel like I’m being beat down although I know that’s not what their intentions are. Still, I know they’re right. I messed this up and I need to fix it.

Tae finally gets ready to head back home, but he throws a pair of my shoes towards me and drags me outside with him.

��What are you doing?” I ask as he takes me to his car.

“I’m taking you to fix this,” he says starting the car. “But,” he pauses. “If you don’t want to fix things with Jimin just tell me and you can go back inside.” He looks at me with his eyebrow raised waiting for a response.

“I…” I hesitate. Yes I want to fix things, more than anything I want to fix it, but I’m afraid. I take a deep breath knowing I can’t say no right now. I have to do this, even if I don’t know the words to say I still have to try. I have to ease his pain and mine. “Ok. You’re right. I have to fix this.”

“That’s what I thought.” He pulls out of his parking spot and drives me across the street to Jimin’s apartment.

“Just be honest with him. Tell him how you really feel,” Tae says.

I silently nod and step out of the car with my heart beating out of my chest. I’ve never been more nervous to knock on his door. Tae pulls off and I can only hope Jimin doesn’t reject me otherwise I’ll be walking back home.

But I have to do this.

I knock lightly on the door and wait a few seconds which feels like an eternity for the door to open. Hoseok is standing there and after taking one good look at me his face twists into a sympathetic frown. I’m pretty sure Jimin has already told him about last night.

“He’s in his room,” he says softly letting me inside.

I slowly walk to Jimin’s room where his door is wide open. He’s laying on his bed looking at his phone and doesn’t make a move. Either he doesn’t notice me or he’s ignoring me. I knock on his door frame to catch his attention. He looks up at me briefly then back at his phone without a word.

I deserve that. It hurts like hell, but I deserve it.

“Hey,” I say softly after a bit of hesitation. “I wanted to talk to you. I know you probably hate me so if you don’t want to see me right now I can go.”

A moment passes then he sits up and silently nods signaling me to come in. I shut the door behind me and sit at the side of his bed turning to face him. I’m so nervous and the way he’s looking at me makes me shiver. He looks emotionless and cold, but despite all of that I can see the hurt in his eyes. I can see the traces of the tears he’s shed and the lack of sleep encasing his eyes in dark shadows.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” I begin. I don’t have a plan or some prepared speech. All I can do is just open my mouth and hope the words that fly out make some sort of sense.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you like that last night. I’ve just been really stressed out and down about my class and everything and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I know you were only trying to help. You didn’t deserve any of that. I should have talked to you like an adult instead of blowing up in your face. Jimin, I’m really sorry for everything.”

He remains unmoved. His facial expression unchanging and he says nothing. My heart breaks a little more with each second of silence that passes. I think I may not have said enough. I know I haven’t said enough. In this moment I can’t hold back, and although that seems extremely difficult I open my mouth and force myself to simply let it all out. Everything I think and feel is free to come out of my mouth in hopes that it’ll be enough to get him to not hate me.

“Truth is,” I continue. “I’ve been really depressed and when I am I just need to be alone a bit. That’s just how I’m able to cope. I could have told you that from the start but I didn’t and that’s all my fault. You didn’t know that and I shouldn’t have expected you to read my mind. I shouldn’t have assumed that you would magically know exactly what I wanted, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten upset with you for not knowing. I know I hurt you, and knowing that I hurt you hurts me. Jiminie it hurts me more than I ever thought I would hurt and I’m so so sorry.”

I can see his eyes getting shaky and he’s biting his lip but still remains silent. His silence is suffocating and I’m desperately trying to find air as I fight my tears.

No holding back.

“I don’t want you to feel like you did anything wrong and I definitely don’t want you to feel like I don’t want you around. You’re my comfort, my safe place, my happiness. Even when I need space to take care of my mental well being I still like knowing that I have you by my side. I know there’s probably nothing I can say that will be enough, but I’m trying. I’ll do anything for you. Anything to make this better. If I have to walk to the end of the earth I will. Your pain is my pain and I’ll crawl to the fucking sun if it would make you happy. Anything you ask me to I’ll do it.” I’m nearly out of breath as I spew out all the word vomit my tongue can produce.

“You’d do anything?” He asks breaking his silence. He leans forward with his gaze softening a touch. “Why?”

“Why?” I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting him to ask me why. “I…I don’t really know why exactly, I just know that I would. I know that I live for your smile and I would die if it meant you would never feel pain again. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m saying. None of this makes sense, I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m sorry for being a complete mess. I’m sorry for being terrible at communicating. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for making you feel bad for wanting to help me feel better about my stupid fucking photo class. I’m sorry for being the absolute worst girlfriend. If you don’t want to be with me anymore I don’t blame you, I just want you to know how sorry I am.”

“I…never said any of that,” he whispers. “I never said you were the worst girlfriend and I never said I didn’t want to be with you anymore.”

“You don’t have to say it,” I sigh letting my tears roll down my cheeks. “I was terrible to you last night. The way I tried to brush you off all night up until the end, you deserve better than that.”

“Did you just come over here to beat yourself up?” He sounds like he’s ready to scold me, yet his voice is still soft.

“No. I mean I don’t know. I don’t really know what to say so I’m just babbling through my tears hoping that what I say makes some kind of sense. I’m sorry I’m so bad at this, I’m not good with words and that’s how I got myself in this mess to begin with.”

“You still sound like you’re beating yourself up.”

“I don’t know what else to say. I just know I’m hurting. I’m hurting so bad because of the way I yelled at you. I just want you to forgive me.” My tears have gone from lightly rolling down my cheeks to a full downpour. I can barely see at this point through the never ending flow.

“Mina,” he sighs. “You’re right that what you said last night hurt me. It hurt a lot because I thought I was doing everything I could to help you feel better. I realize I can be a bit overbearing and for that I’m sorry. Seeing you unhappy hurts me, but listening to you beat yourself up over everything hurts me more. I wish you wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I strain to say through my sobs. I’m shattered into pieces right now. He should be yelling at me. He should be unleashing frustration on me the way I did, the way I deserve, yet he’s speaking to me softly. For some reason that breaks me even more. He truly is an angel.

“I’m sorry too,” he says biting his lip that’s beginning to quiver.

“Why?” I ask shaking my head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything is my fault.”

“Stop,” he says as a tear makes its way down his cheek. “I’m at fault too. I’m sorry for being so overbearing. I wish I knew how to make you happy but that’s all I seem to know how to do, I just didn’t realize it was making things worse.” His breath hitches and the stream of his tears is starting to match mine.

“Jimin, baby, you make me so happy. You always do. You have no idea how happy you make me.”

“But you weren’t happy last night.” He reaches his hand out to me as if he’s unsure if I would want him touch me. It’s like he’s asking permission to comfort me. “What am I supposed to do if I can’t make you happy?”

“I just want you to be there, babe.” I reach out and hold his outstretched hand. “That’s all I need from you.”

I move myself closer to him on the bed and cradle his face in my hands. We’re looking into each other’s eyes letting our emotions quickly take over. Our tears are streaming down and creating a pool between us.

“Baby I’m so sorry,” I repeat. “I never want to hurt you again. I never want to see you sad or cry again. I love you so much.”

“What?” He asks straining through his tears. “You what?”

“I love you,” I choke out. “I wasn’t sure what it was or how to even tell, but I came in here with the goal of letting my heart do the talking, and that’s what it says. My heart says I love you.” I can’t stop crying and I’m not even sure why. I didn’t plan to tell him I love him. I wasn’t even sure what love was just a few hours ago. I didn’t plan anything, but it’s out there now.

“Mina.” His tears are falling faster as he takes one of my hands that’s cradling his cheek and kisses the inside of my palm. “I love you too. So much that it hurts.” He wipes the tears from my face and softly presses his lips against mine.

My mind is cycling through a range of emotions that I can’t even begin to make sense of. I’m elated that my unplanned confession of love was met with a mutual feeling. My heart is full knowing he feels the same. However, I still feel the pain that I caused him, the pain I caused myself. It hurts a little more knowing that our feelings for each other are so deep.

Then there’s a twist of complete and utter fear gripping at my insides. Love is a very strong thing that scares me. I’m afraid of anything happening to him. I’m afraid of hurting him again. I’m afraid of the possibility of us going through a conflict in the future that will only hurt more because of how much I love him. How would I be able to bear that level of pain?

Despite all of those feelings, there’s one that’s rapidly taking me over in this moment. Euphoria.

Our lips remain connected being hydrated by the mix of tears between us. He pulls me closer to him positioning me across his lap. His hands maintain a soft yet strong grip around my body while we explore the inside of each other’s mouths.

All I want is to fill myself with something other than the tears I’ve been crying. Something other than the pain and guilt that I’ve caused. I don’t know if he’s trying to do the same, but his grip gradually gets tighter and his kisses become more aggressive and needy.

“I love you so so much,” he whispers slowly laying me on my back across the bed.

“I love you too, my Jimin.”

He positions his body over mine, fitting himself perfectly between my legs. Every inch from my jawline down to my neck has been claimed by his warm soft lips. His hands are exploring parts of me that they’ve never explored before. Not like this.

I let go and allow myself to get lost in him. The feeling of his chiseled chest as I pull his shirt over his head. The feeling of his hands snaking around my curves as he does the same to me. Our bare skin rubbing together and sparking a fire within me.

All of our clothes quickly become nonexistent and the only thing between us is the sweat building on our bodies. He’s gentle and caring with every kiss he plants on my skin. It’s all a new feeling for me, but an incredibly comforting feeling.

The tears have stopped and there’s nothing left but the blissful fog of love making that carries us well into the night.

[pastafossa]

Hello Pasta! I'm wanting to get into writing fanfiction. I'm having a hard time getting started and not feeling embarrassed at the idea of posting it. I don't really know where to start or how. I have adhd, so motivation and not getting distracted like a cat are not my strong suits. Any tips and suggestions on getting started?

As a writer with severe and currently untreated ADHD whose brain will happily chase leaves down the street when I should be doing something important, I feel you, anon. I'm happy to give tips and suggestions!

So the feeling embarrassed is, imo, the hardest part to overcome in the beginning. It is your biggest wall. The lingering cultural stigma against fanfic certainly doesn't help. But the good news is, I don't know anyone who wasn't nervous and embarrassed the first time around. It's normal. And half of it is... literally just about Trying To Do The New Thing. Nobody wants to be 'bad' at something, and unless someone's a prodigy, their early stuff won't be perfect in the same way that the first time someone tries to paint a picture, it's usually pretty wonky. The difference between trying the new thing or walking away, is whether or not you see it as a learning experience. If you're learning, you're allowed to make mistakes. I've used the gaming metaphor before because it works: consider yourself a level 1 writer. Your armor is mismatched. Your sword is blunt. Your only hope of leveling up is stabbing rats for 6 hours. And that's ok, because everyone starts at level 1. Even me! My early stuff was riddled with mistakes, wonky phrasing, awkward structuring, and garbled plotlines, because I'd never tried to write before. So grasp onto your sword, and remind yourself that it's ok to make mistakes.

To fight the cultural stigma embarrassment, take a look at the List of Star Trek novels list. It's a mile long. Try scrolling through; it'll take a while. You know what all that is? That's fanfiction. It's fic, written by people who love the universe and want to tell more stories inside that verse. Paradise Lost? Bible fanfic. Shakespeare's Julius Caesar? RPF. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? AU fanfic. So much in the world is fanfic, and you're allowed to write it, just like everyone else.

For how to start, I'd advise looking at prompt or trope lists and choosing one you love! Something that sparks your creativity, whether that's the Cuddle for Warmth trope or a Snowball Fight prompt! The key is choosing something nice and concise when you're starting, since ideas like those are easier both to start and to finish. As you learn, you'll get the hang of longer works, but short helps so much in the beginning, especially when you're trying to keep your ADHD motivation going long enough to get it done.

Speaking of beginnings - a lot of writers get stuck on beginnings. And that's fair, because sometimes beginnings are boring and unnecessary. Some good advice I got? Consider starting in the middle! If we use, say, the Snowball Fight prompt, then there's no reason to start with Character A waking up and seeing the snow and getting dressed. Try jumping right to the fun part: them out in the snow, walking with Character B, and both of them now in the perfect position for banter to morph into the snowball fight itself.

If you're unsure how to literally make a paragraph happen, sometimes what you can do (and what I still sometimes do!) is essentially start with listing what needs to happen in that paragraph: 'Jane picks up a snowball. Jane squints at Matt. Jane throws snowball at his face.' Once you've written everything out (the whole fic), come back and add details paragraph by paragraph: sensory info, more specific words, adjectives. Which is how the paragraph becomes something like, 'Jane quietly scooped up a handful of glittering snow, narrowing her eyes at Matt in thought for only a brief second before rearing back and launching it at his face.' This is also essentially what my editing process looks like (which some people noticed when I accidentally left an unedited paragraph right above the edited paragraph in one chapter of TRT!). You can literally go through this process for the entire fic, starting with an outline (basic list of events) which you then break down into basic sentences (rough paragraphs) and then go back in and add details (editing process discussed above).

ADHD tip - distractions: first, have an area you devote to writing. Try to write there as often as you can, and make it a happy space! Your brain needs to learn this is the 'writing area' so it knows exactly what to do when you sit down. Make sure you have what you need nearby so you don't have to wander off - I have everything from hand lotion, a candle, chapstick, tissues, water, and fidget toys nearby. Consider using something like noise canceling headphones - I have a pair I use to block out sounds and play my TRT playlist for me while I write, so it's harder to get distracted by outside noise.

ADHD tip - fidgeting: I often reward my brain for every hour of writing by getting up to move around, stretch out. Sometimes I walk some loops around the house, or I go outside and chase the dog a little, hug a tree, the usual 'YAY NEW STIMULI' for my brain. I've found giving myself those regular moments of activity helps a huge amount.

Alternatively, if you're hyperfixating on writing, ride that train to the fucking end of the line. This is one of our strong points as writers. It won't happen every time, and you cannot rely on it occurring, but sometimes you reach this magical space where all else falls away. I've had nights where I fell into that mindset and pumped out 15k words in one long session (keep snacks and water nearby, otherwise you will forget to eat or drink - I've gone roughly 6-7 hours without eating or drinking before while in The Zone).

I drink a shit-ton of caffeine to make my brain go zoom, do with that what you will.

So your mileage may vary, but this generally works for both ADHDers and non-ADHDers: training your brain to focus on writing is essentially like training for a marathon. If you try to run a 50k on day one? You're fucked. Start with a goal of small word counts for each writing session. If you go longer? Great! But smaller goals in the beginning that are manageable are more useful. Instead of saying, 'I AM GOING TO WRITE 10K WORDS THIS WEEK/TODAY!', try, 'Every day I write 200 words.' Cause 200 words? You can do that! That's small! Enjoy your success and reward yourself, give your brain that sweet sweet dopamine reward at hitting that word goal. And as you go, and regularly start meeting that goal, you can consider adding a little more, bit by bit, but try to keep your goal achievable. Because writing a little is always better than writing nothing.

And above all... be kind to yourself. There's always someone out there who wants to read your story, no matter what that looks like.

I hope these tips help! It's definitely a challenge even for non-ADHDers to get into writing, and adding our unique brains into the mix can get a little wild, but it's definitely doable, and it's absolutely worth the effort to see if writing fic is something you want to do.

[ronoken]

So, who wants a publishing story?

No one?

…Tough.

To preface, this was prompted by a post I saw about always making sure you read a contract before signing it. I wholeheartedly agree.

So, I write books. A roundabout result of writing books is I occasionally get to speak at conventions. When I do speak at conventions (which hasn’t been for a year. Thanks, covid), a standard question I get asked is about the benefits of self-publishing versus getting a contract. And yes, I fully realize that everyone’s experience in this is different, and I get that. Here’s mine.

So, several years ago, I wrote a book. I put a solid year into it and did numerous rewrites, edits, etc. with three wonderful editors and boom. Book. Done. And then, like many who are impatient or who don’t want to run the risk of rejection, I self-published my first novel.

And to my great shock, I actually sold some copies.

Quick aside. I’m not famous. At. Fucking. All. Some is not millions. Some is several thousand at best. And that’s over YEARS. I am not widely known and I do not claim to be. At all.

So yeah, like, I didn’t sell a million or anything, but I was moving over 100 copies a month when I was putting in the marketing work. Not too shabby. I was hustling on Twitter, FB marketing, Google ad marketing, working the review sites, doing interviews, everything I could. And it actually worked. I can honestly say the number of copies I moved a month directly correlated with how hard I pushed. And when I pushed, I pushed damn hard. I even got to a point where a reviewer who became an editor for DC would routinely provide public reviews for my books, and I was doing a superhero series. Not gonna lie- it was fucking rad.

Anyway, after a couple years of doing this, putting out a second novel which sold okay, a bunch of novellas, and so on, I received an offer out of the blue to have my work officially picked up. For realsies.

Admittedly, I was over the moon about this. I was being contacted by an unsolicited source! AND THEY HAD MONEY!

Now, my work wasn’t Shakespeare. I knew that. They did, too. They offered me a nice little starting sum. Not a lot, but holy shit it was FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS UP FRONT. One of my editors reads my Tumblr and I don’t think I’ve ever told them how much it was. It was 5k. To start. Not a lot, publishing-wise, but that’s because the work was already done. See, most publishers will give you more, but the catch is it’s considered a down payment for more books in a series. They pay you to write future novels, and then they expect you to pay it back. I already had a shit ton of content out, so I essentially skipped that step. Which tells me that publishers really don’t expect to have to actually pay you much, but that’s another post.

To my editor- sorry I never said the exact amount. It felt weird, but it’s been years, so it’s not as weird? I dunno. That logic train made sense as I was writing this.

So, 5k upfront, and then 50% of all sales thereafter, and they would handle EVERYTHING. Marketing, scheduling tours, covers, putting me in stores, the lot. Considering how much time, money, and effort these things took, this was not a terrible deal, but there was a catch.

My story would officially no longer be mine.

Oh, my name would be on it, and I’d write it, but from there on out, the publishing house would have 100% control over how it was marketed, where it went, and so on. If they wanted to option it, I would have zero say and zero rights, meaning they could take it and do fuck-all, and I would be left with nothing. Per the contract, they could even go so far as to issue me a cease and desist on my own work and hire a new person to take over. I was signing away everything in my universe if I said yes.

So, despite the allure of having things offered to me like a legit marketing team, book tours, and money (such as it was), I said no thank you.

Now, it didn’t hurt that I’d already made 5k in sales by that point. I knew my worth and how to push to keep it that way, if I so chose. Also, it helped that I was in an okay place when that offer came in. I could look at it and say, “well, that sure would be nice, but I don’t need it.” A lot of talented writers aren’t in that space, and the offer of several months rent or money for food as well as REALLY-REAL PUBLISHING can be hella tempting. And I get it, for some folks, the deals work out alright. And for some they don’t. And I sure as Hell am not going to judge. Seriously, I still have vivid nightmares about working 60+ hours a week and not being able to afford baby formula. Hell, if they had offered that to me just one year earlier, I would have been forced to take it. At that stage of life, 5k would have been life changing. I was just starting to hit the OK section of life, and only barely. Money when you need it is fucking awesome, and sometimes, you take what you can get.

But if you are a writer? And you’re in a place where it’s not life and death? Read the damn contract. Every single time. Make good and sure you know what you’re getting into and ask yourself, is it worth it to you? If it is, awesome. Again, not gonna judge, and every situation is different.

In my specific case though, it was choosing a nice bit of cash over something I had slaved for years over. I couldn’t do it. I still can’t. It’s the one property I’ll never let go of because when I wrote it, I didn’t even know if I could write a book. It proved to me that yes, I really could, and that was worth more than I can put into words.

TLDR: Read your contracts. Make choices good for you. Some things are worth more than money.

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.