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[theemporium]

[3.5k] luke hits the west coast for his first long roadie of the season with some unsettling feelings about leaving jersey for so long. who would have thought his biggest problem on the road would end up being looking at his caller id over the actual hockey games he was playing? (smut)

series masterlist

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hockey boy: u up?

Luke Hughes had never felt like more of a fuck boy than he did the moment he had sent the text—which was ironic when he was quite literally the opposite of a fuckboy.

He hadn’t even meant for it to come across that way. Genuinely, he did not.

Despite being officially in the NHL for over a month now, this was the first time Luke was going on a roadie across the country whilst wearing the New Jersey red on his back. Most of their away games had been in nearby cities, where they would maybe spend a day or two in another city before returning to Jersey. 

But this was the longest one yet—a full ten days in the west coast for games against San Jose, LA and Anaheim. 

He wanted to say it wasn’t a big deal, that he was used to the life of hockey taking him to new cities and states. But things were different in the NHL. The stakes were higher, the games meant more even this early in the season, things just felt a lot more intense.

But it felt stupid to confess as much to his brother or any of the other boys when he literally played in the playoff games last season, when the stakes were the Cup. 

However, Luke couldn’t shake off the weird intensity of the roadie. He played off Jack’s concerned looks with some bullshit excuse that he was tired, that he was just struggling to sleep these days. It didn’t wave away his older brother’s concern but it got him off his back for a little bit. It let Jack focus on a different concern and not the real reason (that felt borderline childish to admit) that he felt on edge about leaving Jersey for so long. 

And it meant that Luke was laying in the hotel room alone whilst Jack was out with some of the other guys on the team for dinner, embracing the one free evening they had before the game tomorrow against San Jose. 

He had flipped through a variety of shows on the tv and scrolled through endless apps on his phone before he gave in, his finger hovering over the send button before he clicked it.

It hadn’t even hit him how his text sounded until your reply came through a few moments later. 

cherry🍒: damn hughes

cherry🍒: you gonna ask me what i’m wearing next?

His cheeks instantly burned hot, something quite like embarrassment and awkwardness bubbling in the pit of his stomach. 

At least it was hard to focus on the upcoming games when he was too busy thinking about the quickest ways to flee the country and change his identity. 

hockey boy: absolutely not 

Luke’s fingers moved fast on the screen, already drafting up a second message when your reply came through. 

cherry🍒: rude :( 

cherry🍒: maybe I had something special on for you 

And that was enough to make his brain go blank, the sentence he was in the middle of typing long forgotten as he stared at the words on his screen. He almost felt guilty how quickly his imagination came up with images of you back on his bed, just like his birthday party, in something short and sexy and—

He almost dropped his phone on his face when it began buzzing in his hand, scrambling to sit up in his bed as he answered. 

“H-Hello?” He cleared his throat, his face burning warmer when he heard your laugh on the other side. 

“You sound a little caught off, Hughes,” you teased, lighthearted and playful. “Did I interrupt something?” 

“I—no!” Luke exclaimed, though something inside him relaxed when you laughed again. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean for it to come off like that. I swear. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I didn’t think so considering it’s been five minutes since my last message and you hadn’t replied yet. Not really setting the mood there.” 

He shook his head, his lips twitching upwards. “So you’re saying you’re not wearing something special for me?” 

“Unfortunately not. Just some sweats and a hoodie.” 

“Hm,” Luke hummed before frowning, taking a quick glance at the time on his phone before he swore under his breath. “Shit, I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

You laughed and something in his chest tightened as he imagined the soft smile on your face as you did so. “No, I couldn’t get to sleep. I was just watching some random episode of The Vampire Diaries before you called.”

Luke blinked. “The what?” 

You fell silent for a moment. “Tell me you’re joking.” 

He paused as well before he spoke in the most unconvincing voice. “I’m joking?” 

“Forget watching it, how have you never heard of it?!” 

“I don’t know!” Luke defended weakly, shuffling back further against the pillows. “Is this your subtle way of telling me to watch it?”

“No!” 

He frowned. “No?”

“I want to watch it with you. I want to see your reactions.” 

Luke snorted but he didn’t disagree, something fond and warm bubbling in the pit of his stomach at your insistence. “Fine, deal,” he mused. “But it would have at least given me something to do.” 

“Wow, is Jack that boring of a roommate?” 

He laughed. “Nah, he went out with some of the other guys for dinner.” 

“You didn’t feel like joining?” 

“Not really,” he admitted. 

“How come?” 

“Just…didn’t feel like it,” he said, his fingers tugging on the drawstrings of his hoodie as the spiralling thoughts began to creep in again. Like a reminder he wasn’t just lying on his bed back in Jersey talking away to you on the phone, that he was actually on the other side of the country. 

And it seemed like you sensed his reluctance, the shift in his voice like he seemed distant and you wanted to pull him back in.

“So you try to sext me instead?” Your voice was playful and taunting and he could imagine the smirk on your face so clearly. 

“Shut up,” he groaned, his cheeks burning once again. “I didn’t—”

“You so did.”

“That was not my intention at all,” he retorted. 

“Damn, Hughes, didn’t take you for a phone sex kind of a guy?” 

Luke could only thank some superior being above that it wasn’t a facetime call, that you couldn’t see how bad he was blushing. “I am neither a sexting or phone sex kind of guy.” 

“Boo, it’s more fun than you would think.” 

His nose scrunched up. “I don’t know.” 

“Don’t knock it until you try it, Luke.”

…

Despite being in two very different states, Luke had found himself on the phone with you most nights of the roadie so far.

It wasn’t really a co-dependent thing, like Jack liked to tease him about when he caught Luke waiting for your message saying you were free to call after the game in LA. It was a similar feeling he had with his friends back in Michigan or his brothers, this strong urge to tell you things. He wanted to share it with you, he wanted to tell you about something stupid Jack did in the locker room or the weird drink Curtis smuggled him at dinner. 

And in turn, he wanted to hear about your day too. He wanted to hear about how the nice barista at the coffee shop on the way to work gave you a free cookie because she fucked up your order by accident. He wanted to hear about the way your upstairs neighbour had taken up tap dancing and seemed to only find eleven o’clock at night the most appropriate time to practise. He just wanted to hear you talk. 

Luke was at least self-aware enough to realise he was being a bit insane with the phone calls every night when he was only gone for over a week. But day six into a ten day roadie and he just kind of wished he was chilling on your couch when listening to these stories rather than a nondescript hotel room he shared with his brother with limited privacy. 

However, the phone calls had become such a routine over the last few days that he didn’t even think twice when he picked up his buzzing phone, answering and putting it on speaker as he walked towards his suitcase in only a towel. 

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for your call,” Luke said, an easy smile on his face as he quickly grabbed some clothes to change into after his shower. 

“Really? I didn’t realise you missed me that much. I miss you too, dude.” 

Luke froze, his eyes widening as he snapped his gaze back towards his phone. He quickly grabbed it off his bed, letting out a soft ‘fuck’ when he realised it was Ethan, not you. 

“Luke? You still there?” 

“Uh yeah,” Luke cleared his throat. “Sorry, I just came out of the shower. So, uh, what’s up?” 

“I caught the game, just wanted to make sure you were alright. Looked like a tough game but you were killer out there, bud.” 

He paused, his lips twitching upwards. “You watched the game?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, dude. The boys watch every game we can. Our boy is in the big leagues! We gotta support you.”

“I didn’t know,” he admitted, his chest tightening a little.

“We miss you on the team, gotta get our fix somehow,” Ethan joked, lighthearted and playful. 

And yet, Luke felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Despite flying out for his birthday party, he hadn’t really been messaging the boys back in Michigan as much as he should have. He knew they were also giving him space to settle into the NHL lifestyle and they were busy with classes and such, but his own surprise from Ethan calling confirmed enough that he needed to reach out more. 

“I miss playing with you guys too,” Luke confessed, and it was true. He loved the Devils and he loved living out his dream but a small part of him itched to be back on the ice with his UMich boys again. 

“Yeah but you never threw us around like that.” 

Luke let out a groan, ignoring Ethan’s laughs. “I didn’t mean to knock him over like that, it was just the momentum!” 

Ethan’s laughs only got louder. 

…

It was the night before the Anaheim game when Jack had all but bolted out the room, muttering something about hanging out with Trevor and that he would be back before dinner. 

In all honesty, Luke didn’t question it much. He just waved his brother off, saying he was going to have a small nap before he started getting ready for whatever restaurant Trevor had booked for them (assuring that it would fit their diet plan but Luke wasn’t convinced). Between the travelling and training on the road, Luke found himself more exhausted than he was from back-to-back games in Jersey.

And he genuinely was going to nap until his phone buzzed with a message from you and he found himself dialling your number before he could help himself. 

“A call already? You didn’t even give me a chance to try sexting you.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what the point is.” 

“I like hearing you get all flustered and nervous.” 

“Yeah but it’s not really the same thing, is it?” He commented, running a hand through his curls before tugging his hood back over his head. “Surely it’s just a bit…awkward.” 

“It can be hot if you do it right,” you corrected him. “Personally, I think phone sex is better but it can be fun to sext too. Like a thrill, you know?” 

“Yes because nothing sounds sexier than talking about sex,” he mused.

“It’s not like that,” you laughed, shuffling around on the other side of the phone. “Think of it like…foreplay.” 

His brows furrowed together. “In what way?” 

“You aren’t together but you’re telling each other what you would want to do if you were. What you wish you could be doing. And you’re listening to it all, listening to them get off to your words.” 

Luke swallowed harshly. “It still sounds awkward.” 

There was a pause on the other side. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he breathed out, shifting a little in his spot. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to facetime them and see them?” 

“It’s about using your imagination, Luke,” you hummed, sounding amused by his grasp on phone sex. “It’s about taking the scraps of what they tell you and letting your brain run wild with it.” 

He let out an unconvinced hum.

“Still sceptical?”

“Maybe.” 

There was a small pause before you spoke again. “You’re alone, right?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Luke nodded, even if you couldn’t see him. “Jack won’t be back for another few hours so—”

“So you can be a good boy for me?” 

His brain went blank.

“C’mon, Luke.” He could almost hear the smirk in your voice. “Remember what we said about words?”

“Yeah,” he let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I can be…good.”

“I know you can, you’re always so good f’me,” you commented, so nonchalant and casual like your worlds didn’t make his heart beat a little faster. “Tell me what you’re doing right now.” 

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. “I’m lying in bed, talking to you. But you know that—”

“What are you wearing?” 

Luke glanced down at himself, the Devils branded hoodie and UMich sweatpants hardly the sexiest of outfit choices but he muttered out his response regardless. “Isn’t that the exact line you teased me about earlier?” 

“You telling me you’re wearing something special just for me?” 

He snorted, despite himself. “Hardly.” 

“That’s fine. You look better without anything anyway. A shame you’re all the way in California, would’ve been nice to have you all to myself.”

He gulped. “Is this where I use my imagination to guess what you’d do to me?” 

“If you want,” you said, laughing softly and it almost felt like you were right there beside him. “Or I could tell you how I miss hearing those pretty noises you make when you come, the little moans you let out when I touch you.” 

“Shit,” he muttered. “How do you just say those things so…easily?” 

“Because I know what I like and I’m confident with saying what I want. And I really like making you come, you’re always so sweet. You get so blushy and shy, it’s cute. I could only imagine what you’d be like when I get my mouth on you.”

Luke squirmed, his hand reaching down to press down on the length of his cock like it would ease the way he was twitching at her words. 

“Would you like that, Luke?”

“Y-Yeah,” he breathed out, nodding even if you couldn’t see him.

“Bet you would look so pretty, all shy and nervous to touch me even if you wanted to,” you continued, his eyes fluttering shut like he could pretend you were really in the room with him, like you were really whispering all of this in his ear. “But I would want you to, Luke. I would wanna feel your hands in my hair, wanna see you take control.” 

“I would,” he mumbled out, his hand slowly stroking himself over his sweatpants as he imagined it. As he imagined being sat on your couch, with you kneeling between his legs and your eyes glued on his reactions. It made his whole body feel hot and flustered. 

“Yeah, baby? You’d take control? Fuck my mouth?” 

He was almost embarrassed by the noise he let out.

“Are you touching yourself right now? Letting your imagination fill in the blanks?” 

“Mhm,” he nodded. 

“Good, baby, good. Keep touching yourself, keep making yourself feel good.”

“Wish it was you,” he managed to mutter out, his cock straining under the fabric of his boxers and sweatpants. However, any embarrassment or lingering awkwardness was long gone as he pushed them down to his knees, not even bothered to kick them off as he got his hand on himself. 

“Yeah? Me too, baby. I wish I was with you now, could watch you squirm and beg f’me with your dick down my throat.”

“Fuck,” he hissed, squeezing the base of his cock as he tried to mimic the night of his birthday, to mimic the feeling of your hand on him instead. “That’s…vulgar.”

You laughed, and it shouldn’t have been so hot to him but it was. “Too much? You don’t want me to talk about how badly I wish that it was you touching me right now?”

“You’re touching yourself right now?” It was almost a wheeze, like the air had been knocked out of his lungs and it hadn’t even hit him until that moment that you were in the same position as him. 

“Mhm,” you hummed, all sweet and high-pitched and it reminded him of the noise you made just before you came on his fingers. “If I was more patient, I would’ve got a toy. Would’ve felt way better.” 

“Toy?” He rasped. 

“Jealous?” You teased, unaware of the way Luke turned his head to the side, biting down on his pillow to hold back his groans as he continued to stroke himself. “I’ll show you when you’re back.” 

“Show me on yourself?” 

“I can use them on you too, pretty boy, if you could handle it.” 

“I…could,” he muttered out, listening to the breathy, moany laugh on the other side of the phone.

“We’ll see,” you hummed. “Maybe I’ll send you a video for your next roadie. Keep you occupied while you’re away.”

“Nuh uh,” he bit out, shaking his head. “This. I like this. I like hearing your voice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he repeated, his stomach twisting as his thumb swiped over the head of his cock and rubbed the small bead of precum along his slit. “S’close.” 

“Come f’me, wanna hear you come.”

It was a bit of a mindfuck if Luke was completely honest with himself. The pleasure running down his spine, leaving his body hot and heavy and just as good as it did when he was with you didn’t make sense to him. Listening to the little breathy moans and whines you let out when he came all over his hand, as he listened to you get yourself off shouldn’t have made his dick twitch so soon. He shouldn’t have been able to make himself come so hard just from some dirty talk from you, and yet he had. 

Though, Luke didn’t have a lot of explanations when it came to the way you made him feel.

“You still there?” 

“Yeah,” he hummed, his eyes still shut as he laid on the bed, practically melting into the sheets beneath him. “Kinda need that nap now.”

You snorted. “You should clean up before you fall asleep.” 

“Five minutes,” he murmured out, a lazy smile on his face as your laugh echoed through the phone.

…

He was rushing to button up his shirt when his phone rang again. 

He was already running late for the reservations Trevor made for dinner (if the constant stream of messages from Jack was telling him anything) and his nap lasted longer than he expected. But he couldn’t bite back his smile as he reached for his phone, his thumb already swiping to answer the call as he rummaged through his suitcase to find his cologne. 

“You’re out of luck if you’re wanting to go for a round two,” Luke mused once the call had connected, an odd wave of confidence in his voice as he spoke. 

“Round two of what?” 

Luke froze, yanking his phone away from his ear to see Quinn’s name on his screen. He let out a muttered ‘what the fuck’ under his breath, an odd sense of deja vu from his phone call with Ethan washing over him before he quickly answered his eldest brother. 

“Uh, nothing,” he laughed off, resisting the urge to yank on his own hair after he had spent the better part of the last fifteen minutes trying to make his curls look presentable. “Just some…exercise challenge thing Jack and I were trying out.” 

“And you think he would call you about it? Aren’t you two together right now?” 

“Yes. No!” Luke shook his head at himself. “No, he’s in Nico’s room right now.” 

“I thought you were getting dinner with Trevor?” 

“Right,” Luke laughed once again, awkward and strained. “We are. He just…had to tell Nico something first. You know Jack! Just…always attached to Nico’s hip.”

There was a moment of silence before Quinn spoke again. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I feel great, actually! Speaking of, I need to go so I’ll call you later. Okay, great, bye!” 

He slammed the small red button until the call disconnected, throwing his phone down on his bed and letting out a long, deep sigh. He really needed to start looking at his phone before answering calls, it was getting a bit ridiculous. 

Luke finished getting ready, shoving some shoes on and making his way towards the elevator as he began typing out a message before slipping his phone into his pocket, already preparing himself for Jack’s whining about how late he is by the time he reached the lobby.

hockey boy: remind me to give you a personalised ringtone when i’m back in jersey

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[y0urm4m]

BIKER CHRIS

(I feel like biker is just Chris coded soo)

Warnings:swearing,suggestive content,fem reader,nickname “ma”,smut,smoking.

:y/n never really found her self getting along with Chris, but she always felt there was something deeper that drew them back to each other and that darn bike.

It was a Friday evening, like any other she was sat at her window with a lit cigarette in her left hand her phone in her right scrolling through instagram. No new notifications she huffed to herself, what is nick doing he hasn’t answered in hours he had messaged her first asking about meeting up and having a night watching films and catching up on stuff. Bear in mind they talked all day everyday so not much was new, so they’d probably just scroll on there phones eat loads of junk and drink some energy drinks. She inhaled the last toke of her cigarette before putting it out, slowly becoming lost in thought her mind wondered to some of the times nick and her had hung out it was usually fun apart from the times Chris had ruined it by being a self centred, obnoxious jackass.

Speak of the devil, y/n’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle. Christopher sturniolo’s motorcycle to be in fact. The sound of the accelerator made her stomach do flips and her thighs squeeze together, but the abrupt sound of the motorcycle slowing down outside her house unexpectedly, caught her by surprise. She slowly peeked out the window hoping not to be seen: as she sat in her pyjama shorts and jumper. She finally had caught a clear glimpse of Chris slowly turning the key to his Honda CBR 1000RR: specifically orange and black probably being the only reason Chris bought it in the first place. Chris arose from the bike putting the visor on his helmet up as he began to walk towards y/n’s front door. Instantly y/n jumped up pulling her shorts down as much as she could, although the bottom of her butt still was out for Chris all eyes to see. She slowly made her way towards the door to unlock and see what Chris wanted, she reached her hand for the door handle hastily opening it. As She stood with one leg crossed over the other looking up at Chris, who had finally realised she had answered the door. Before even saying hi he took of his helmet brushing his hand through his hair. Her thighs squeezed together once again but this time Chris was there to catch her in the act, he looked her up and down smirking at the tiny shorts she had on. In response to his smirk she rolled her eyes thinking Chris was just trying to be a funny smartass. “What do you want Chris?”she spoke slightly annoyed. “No need to use that tone with me ma”he replied cockily moving slightly more towards her. “Christopher if you don’t tell me why you’re here I will willingly slam this door right in your face!”she snapped back. He raised his eyebrow at that witty remark. “Fine, fine I’ll tell you why I’m here if you stop being a cynic,” he chuckled. She didn’t look to impressed with that answer so he decided to finally tell her why he was mysteriously at her door at 5:40pm.

“I got forced to come and pick you up by Nick because Matt was out, is that a good answer?” He finally explained. “Right and how comes Nick didn’t tell me this before like he usually does when Matt picks me up, plus I could have walked,” She replied. “And in no way am I ready, so Chris just come in I’ll be like 20 minutes maximum.”she added on sighing, reluctantly opening the door letting the man in. As she turned to walk inside she had merely forgot her back side was on full display for Chris and anyone within a 10 metre range. Chris’ jaw dropped slightly at the free site in front of him, his hormones getting the best of his as his joggers began to tighten and his face flushed a slight red tinge. She turned to look at him. “You alright there Chris?”she asked in confusion. “U..uh yeah.. all good”he stuttered, looking down at the floor. At this point Y/N was confused Chris was never like this he’s usually loud and extremely annoying so she decided to brush it off her shoulder and get on with getting her stuff to head out. That wasn’t even the worst part now they both had to go upstairs so she could get her stuff, y/n was first to walk up the stairs Chris tried his hardest to not look at her ass but he just couldn’t help himself catching a glimpse of her ass and through the side of the shorts the orange panties she had decided to wear. “Fuck..”Chris mumbled to himself. “What was that Chris?”she looked over her shoulder at him. “Nothing.”he replied as they made it to her bedroom. Y/N decided it would be best to switch into some joggers for the ride to the house as it was definitely too cold for shorts. She quickly shoved her cigarettes,phone and some other stuff into a rucksack and made her way to Chris who stood leaning against her hallway wall phone in hand. The air was filled with sexual frustration even if neither of them could tell. “Chris we can go now.”she announced walking downstairs as Chris sheepishly followed behind as he was still painfully hard.

Once they were outside Chris faced towards Y/N. “C’mere ma.” He beckoned her over to him, she looked up at him as he grabbed his helmet slowly sliding it over her head. “Be better if you kept that on ma, can’t have you getting hurt!” He joked. There was that cockiness she remembered, She just nodded, as she slowly sat on the motorcycle behind Chris. “You know your gonna have to put your hands here ma?”he said pointing to around his waist. “I’m not doing that.”she replied shaking her head. “Yes you are or we’re not going anywhere,”he said, she just sat there staring at him obviously not impressed with what she was having to do. He slowly became impatient so instead of asking he just grabbed her hands and placed them on his waist. “Now I suggest you leave them there, ma.” He said, turning on the engine to his motorcycle and he began to drive off towards the house. The start of the trip was quiet Y/N sat in silence her hands still in the same place as they were when they first left, but a sneaky idea had come to mind. She slowly slid her hand down from Chris’ waist to his thigh, moving her index finger is circles. “Y/N?”he said sternly, he never called her by her first name it was always ma every time. But she ignored him still making tiny circles on his thigh, Chris’ cock was awfully hard now to the point who couldn’t take it. He sped up driving as fast as he could to the house slowing down as he got on his street. He pulled into the garage parking but before Y/N could go through the door he stopped her, pressing the button closing the garage door. “Ma, after what you did on the bike I suggest you do something about this.”he whisper spoke, as he pointed down to his boner. All y/n did was squeeze her thighs together she didn’t move almost frozen in place. He walked towards her tucking the loose hair behind her ears pulling her face forwards, her lips meeting his connecting perfectly. The kiss deepened tongues entwined together, this lasted around 2 minutes before chris pulled back his hands rubbing up and down her waist. “You sure you want this ma?”he asked. She nodded. “Words ma, I need words.”he replied. “Yes, Chris im sure.”she whispered, thighs clenched and eyes half open. He smiled a bit before looking at her asking for approval to undress her, she nodded this time he didn’t ask for words he was to impatient and began pulling her sweatpants down and taking her top of. Leaving y/n in her bra and undies, Chris groaned at the sight. “Can I take yours off?”she asked quietly. He just nodded, she began pulling Chris’ top over his head and pulling his joggers down. She bit her lip looking and the obvious bulge in Chris’ boxers. “I can’t wait anymore ma, I want you bent over my bike now.”he told her. She reluctantly bent over the bike her ass facing Chris. He slapped her ass, she moaned quietly in response. “You like that ma?” He asked smirking, but before she could even answer he slapped her ass a bit harder this time cause her to jolt slightly forward. “I’m gonna ask you to be quiet for me ma, can you do that for me yeah!”he whispered into her ear slowly pulling her orange panties down. She spread her legs a bit in response as Chris then pushed his boxers down, spitting on his hand pumping his dick a few times before aligning himself up. “You ready ma?” He whispered in her ear lustfully. She nodded, with that he pushed in leaving no time to adjust to his size. “Chris..fuck.”she moaned out, putting her hand behind her to brush it through the side of chris’ hair. He kept thrusting in her at the semi fast pace. As the garage filled with the sound of skin slapping, Chris’ groans and her moans. The aroma of sex filled the air as well as their noses. “Fuck your so tight ma, gonna make me cum if you keep squeezing me like that.”Chris groaned in her ear. “Chris.. fuck Im gonna.. cum”she cried out as the feeling of her slowly coming undone took over. Her legs shaking slightly and her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

“You think you can cum for me one more time ma?”he asked her softly.She nodded, this time Chris’ pace was a bit faster, y/n becoming even more of a moaning mess at the continuous feeling of Chris’ thrusting into her and the fact she had just came. His pace slowly became messed up as he became closer to his edge. “Fuck.. ma I’m gonna cum,”he groaned out gripping onto her ass. “Gonna fill you up ma”he whispered as he came undone filling y/n up with his cum. As they both stayed in place for a few minutes catching their breath, Chris slowly pulled out. “We should probably head in, before nick thinks something bad has happened.”Chris said putting his clothes back on, leaving y/n getting re-dressed. Y/N grabbed her phone, 1 new notifications from Chris.

Meet me later in my room and we can talk properly

ꜰɪɴɪᴛᴀ

That was honestly so fun to write if people do like it I’m kinda tempted to possibly make a part two or something!

Tiny taglist:

@freshsturns

[radiocity]

honestly, what's your take on the l word? atp i can't tell if it's just shit but i'm too far along to stop. the 5th and 6th seasons seem to be done in a complete different tone too and there's so many problematic aspects just slapped in for unecessary drama. still.. i like the main characters a lot and it is representation at the end of the day. Maybe it would've been cooler if they just did more of a 'slice of life' thing instead of 'drama rama cheating on people is like a slip of the hand thing due to the strong nuclear force'

anyway interested in your take, what do you think are the well- and badly- handled aspects of the show, how do you reflect on the story and character building?

stay cool out there (◕‿◕)♡

MY TAKE ON THE L WORD? getting this ask made me so excited you have no idea how much I love talking about the l word. So excited in fact that I wrote 6165 words about it, sorry, I am so severely unemployed right now. here, I talk about my thoughts, some theory, and then break down some of the intrinsic problems with the show, specifically how it thinks about gender and nonconformity, race, and transgender identities, within the scaffolding of it being a show concerned with women who have relationships with other women, rather than necessarily a truth of lesbianism. i’m citing various linked sources and very loosely using an academic approach, but it’s more like a messy collage of sources than it is a fully fleshed out argument and narrative! if you want the tl;dr, I’d recommend scrolling to the final 3 paragraphs

tbh I haven’t watched it in a while but I really want to rewatch the whole thing and go back to my gif series instead of just making random sets (don’t be put off by my absence its bc I was doing my master’s degree and then I got really sick) and maybe thinking so intensely about tlw these past 3 days will inspire me into it .

I’d be really interested in hearing any thoughts on response to any of this, even though it’s not particularly well written or formulated, so feel free to drop a message/reply/response anywhere if u or anyone else is compelled to. anyway response under the cut ->

so, my opening thoughts on the l word revolve around two things: there is nothing about this show that makes it an inherently lesbian show, and that it functions as a product of its time, not in culture but in Hollywood and show running. the imagined audience of TLW isn’t necessarily the modern ‘sapphic’ audience watching things like First Kill (2022), Do Revenge (2022), or Crush (2022) which are all, generally, pointed towards a younger audience seeking things like validation and romantic projection (from what I understand, and I’ll admit I haven’t watched any of these! But I have read synopsis and seen clips, so I’ll watch soon I promise). I do think this conversation has re-emerged a little in the growing conversations about wanting sexy lesbians having sex, which is a conversation that surrounded Love Lies Bleeding (LLB, 2024) for quite a while, repeating this argument that what lesbians want isn’t romance or tension, but sex, real sex, sex on screen and sex on TV. of course, it’s a little difficult for showrunners to ‘do’ sex or sexual content without it being so brazenly for men – and here I’ll step out and say when, in this context, I discuss women being looked at and ‘male gaze’, it’s more under the original theory of laura mulvey that women are objectified by the camera as men are in control of production, and here I’ll link the article (it’s very short, but I refer largely here to section B) – and to equally appeal to women looking at women but who are, equally not free from patriarchal understandings of the ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways of being attracted to women. I feel a good example of how we saw this was the big tiktok-wide discussion about sapphic cottage-core as an equally white endeavour, a sort of softcore launching of racist white American ideals of frolicking on a plantation. For showrunners to produce sexual lesbian content now, it needs to contend with who will be doing its marketing for them, i.e. a lot of people on tiktok talking about how LLB is for the ‘lesbian gaze’, whatever that means, or that these things are perhaps attractive to men in general, but are specifically geared to being attractive to lesbians specifically. Actually candace Moore, in a really brilliant article (and if u want access and don’t have it… just let me know) describes, through gaze theory, the notion of the straight viewer as a “tourist” and the “traveller”. Here:

Problematizing a distinction between the tourist, who "gladly or unknowingly accepts Disneyland's versions of the world's wonders," and the traveler, who "seeks and knows how to recognize authenticity," Strain argues that perhaps these archetypes are, if not one and the same, both victims to the notion that there is an "authenticity" available to be misrecognized, or grasped, in the first place. (10) But what of the lesbian viewer? (11) At first glance it would seem that the lesbian viewer falls outside of the already-tenuous tourist and traveler distinction, being a "local" intimately familiar with this culture. However, insofar as lesbian spectators are consuming mediated images of themselves, I argue that not only do straight audiences engage in a form of tourism when viewing the The L Word, but lesbian audiences, even those from Southern California, do too. The distinction between the tourist, the traveler, and, in this case, the local-as-consumer becomes blurred. Locals drawn to the latest "lesbian attraction," lesbians enjoy The L Word's eye candy along with straight "tourists." Like straight "travelers," they seek to identify albeit illusory "authentic" elements of the representation. However, for the queer viewer, the mediated reality of the show will never match up to reality. While the tourist and the traveler of The L Word are at base one and the same, the distinction between them lies not in what they are, but what they think they are; how they conceive of their own intentions, levels of "expertise," relationships to the local culture, and the "gains" that they take away--whether they travel for pleasure or for knowledge. It is through the enticement of lesbian sex (a spectacle of attraction for straight and queer viewers alike) and through the wonderment of either "understanding" the other or "recognizing" oneself (fantasy of authenticity), through both "watching from a remove" and "being there," that The L Word captivates its straight and queer tourists.

Pulling away from the academic angle, I don’t agree with the idea of LLB being for a lesbian gaze, nor do I think that TLW was ‘for’ lesbians more than it was ‘enjoyed’ by lesbians – a show that can hit as many audiences at once is a good thing. dennis cass for the slade in 2004 wrote that the L word “often feels like it’s not about being gay at all” and that a lot of what the show presents is pretty removed from any lesbian experience as we know it, additionally writing on bette and tina’s marriage counselling that they “aren’t merely in couples therapy, they’re seeing one of L.A.’s hottest personal gurus—that you not only forget they’re lesbians, but that they live on Earth.” A pretty accurate read for how removed a lot of TLW is from anything, and, to me, sort of bypasses any notion of ‘representation’ by just how fantastical it is. ginia bellafante also wrote in 2009, after s6 aired, that “’The L Word’ is a Sapphic Playboy fantasia in which women with wrinkles or squishy thighs or an aversion to lingerie appear to have been flagged down on the freeway with urgent instructions to move to Seattle”. basically, yeah

TLW itself is very clearly appealing to its heterosexual audiences at the same time it appeals to lesbians, even through the same mechanisms – the character’s conventional attractiveness, their skinniness, their lack of bras and how you can 9/10 times see their nipples through their shirts, and all the lesbian sex shown in as much detail as they could get away with – and that is the core driving force of the show in a lot of ways. we can’t really have another TLW today for the same reasons that all media from the early 2000s has shifted to give women more complex characters, arcs, appearances, and functions – and that’s a good thing, obviously – which in turn demonstrates the lack of these things the characters in TLW actually had. At its core, it’s sexy and men are the people behind the companies getting it on TV, not necessarily specific men but the shadow of patriarchy and how women exist on the screen. This isn’t to say media creation and output has become a liberal utopia for women’s rights, but rather there has definitely been a shift in how women exist on screen and what roles they were given before – think easy fast and furious, or megan fox in transformers, or even how very popular musicians styled themselves and appeared to the massive; Shakira, Jennifer lopez, Britney spears, etc – which, to me, reflects a way in which TLW capitalises off the straight heteropatriarchy in its desire to show sexy women at all times, always available to be ogled. in a way, this sorta aligns with bellafante’s observation that the show had ‘never aligned itself with the traditionalist ambitions of a large faction of the gay rights movement’ (written in 2009, 6 years before gay marriage was legalised in the us) – the liberator in the l word is sex, and that’s what all the characters are constantly aiming for, nothing else. Similarly, the show gets so obsessed with defining who or what a lesbian is (throughout the whole of s1 as they look for signs of lesbianism in jenny, with jenny at that party, or with dana talking about her ‘gaydar’, and so by doing this it turns lesbianism into a visual brand, something that be hidden in plain sight, appeasing both the hetrosexual viewer and the lesbian seeker - Martina Ladendorf describes a branding of lesbian identities through TLW in a form of “thingification”, and so “the representations of lesbian identities are discursively displaced and the identity position “lesbian” is partially filled with new meanings in the televised text of The L-word.”  Ladendorf offers a far more generous reading than I do – to me, a lot of TLW needs to extrapolate lesbians from their womanhood and vice versa, creating a sort of woman who is a lesbian, rather than, simply, a lesbian

naturally, the l word is inherently a misogynist show , and in a lot of ways I think it’s unavoidable to think about when it comes to discussing schematics or opinions of the show, it’s a show full of, in the words of liz feldman in this interview, ‘beautiful lesbians with just nothing but time on their hands… and just somehow also money’. Obviously, the stereotypes the show puts forwards make it feel pretty cheap at time, and when the show ventures out into attempting to either tackle or just include plotlines about poverty, racism, transphobia, infidelity, (or plotlines it totally avoids, like conversations on butchness, gender non-conformity, or transfemininity), it honestly just gets stranger and stranger, not to mention the very active racism present in the show, via how pam grier’s character was written, handled, and expanded upon when she was by far one of the most skilled and seasoned actors on the show. a lot of issues I and other people have are through this lens, and hence why a lot of the pushback focuses on how little was understood about trans people in mainstream media back then, or how the show was just such a landmark moment that it was purely reflective of the times so it’s just nit-picking to be pointing out all its negative parts, which isn’t a sentiment I agree with at all, and instead I think of the l word as being both progressive and problematic for these reasons. Even as an addition, I feel like TLW is why we just don’t really need more tv shows like the L word… because we have the L word, and it’d be nice if we could have something different

so, when I talk about and recommend the l word I usually put it in these terms: season 1 is a phenomenal piece of storytelling and such a compelling way to create and introduce a show all about lesbianism to a world that is not filled with parallel lesbians, but rather is the only show on air in the world doing that exactly, and, following that, season 4 gets a little art deco and experimental as it pushes its characters through new, meaningful struggle, like tasha working in the military under ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ (fuck the army though), max living his new reality as a trans man (yeah it was dealt with horribly), bette dating jodi and this inviting so much conversation about art, disability, and deafness into the mix, and, in other ways, jenny and tina working together on her show, helena’s… gambling addiction or whatever, kit’s nonsense relationship shane’s nonsensical relationship. Imo these two seasons show the best of what the L word has to offer, which is, in S1, a sensitive introduction that pushes jenny through the wringer as she really becomes herself and takes hold of her destiny, and then in S4, these characters all essentially performing at their apex, in love, making mistakes, trying again, to the best of the l word’s ability to show any of this (relatively speaking, it’s the best TLW ever gets)

with all this in mind, I do think the show thrives in really profound ways at times. The real hook of it is, and always has been, season 1, which is just this ferociously strong exploration in television about such a serious sensitive topic, jenny’s coming out. a lot of criticism sort of facetiously responds to jenny’s character by focusing on her writing quality (which I honestly thought was fine lol!), and will ignore sincerely engaging with her in favour of laughing at how bad her character became as the writer’s lost the plot more and more, but I really do think that jenny in the first two seasons was just phenomenal, and mia kirshner’s fantastic meditative performance just stole the entire show for me. In season 1 as we are introduced to the show and their world through jenny’s process of coming out and ripping her life apart at the seams to live her ideal life (even if it was very explosive with marina and didn’t end well), which I just thought was such captivating writing about that moment of choice, where a character has to decide whether or not they’ll live their easy life or do the difficult thing. one of the scenes I have always come back to is in s1 where jenny has sex with tim and cries afterwards because that moment for her is the one where she realises she just can’t do it anymore, and seeing that in the show was just really otherworldly for me, I loved it and I thought it was amazing, and then later on in season 2 where jenny asks shane to cut her hair for her – a real splitting off from her regular, comfortable life, to ‘become’ a lesbian in heart and soul, was again just another moment where the writing and directing teams could really show some muscle in just how good the show could be, before dropping all presences and going back to whatever drivel they’d been doing. As a more technical note on the show, the inconsistent directors and writing is really hilarious, and sometimes the drop in quality between episodes is… staggering, to say the least

tbh s1 functions well as a drama-comedy mix because those scenes, as well as tina and bette’s fertility journey, is spliced within the rest of the nonsense going on, which I felt crafted this really enjoyable diametric swing throughout . arguably more than anything, jenny’s coming out was the best and most meaningful part of the show, and I really haven’t seen much other lesbian media hold a candle to it (though I could name a few). What they did with jenny as the show went on was disappointing to say the least, but s2 had a lot of heart in it as they attempted to have her coming to terms with her abuse (naturally, having finally discovered herself in s1) and focus more on what makes her happy – her writing. As the show continued to develop and jenny’s character just morphed into this unrecognisable thing, I even still think mia kirshner could perform such a charming take on it that I never really aligned myself to a lot of the jenny hate people joke about

other drama aspects in mind, like bette and tina’s marriage falling apart, bette’s other relationships (bette always seems to be the one facing the ‘serious problems), and even dana’s cancer and subsequent death, I thought were generally handled… ‘well’. Dana’s cancer worked interestingly within this as, while it was kind of bizarre, I think the relationship between alice and dana was a real life force on the show for a  while, and that whole situation meant that alice could go through some real, meaningful growth in her character which she’d been a little starved of to that point. perhaps my thoughts are that when the show focuses on cheating as the only method of things falling apart, that’s when it really starts to fumble, because cheating at that level is such a sitcom-only esque plotline that removes a lot of reality you might be looking for and finding charming in these shows. Equally, I just think cheating can be quite an alienating plotline!

But, to talk about writing alone, my god it gets shit. Various parts of the writing I remember disliking off the top of my head are dana’s season 2 girlfriend which turns into a weird trope of the pretty girls vs the ‘uglier’ one (her then-gf), when the max arc is in full swing (though I’ll be clear as well and say I loved Daniel Sea’s acting within the role, however bad the writing was), papi and the racism that guided the writers in constructing her character, the random plotline of the guy living with shane and jenny in season 2 (though I thought it could have been really interesting, almost a meta comment on men watching lesbians, men watching the l word, men watching lesbians in media).  Helena’s entire character was a little baffling to me, and while I did enjoy her at times and thought she was a hilarious addition to the cast, I just had no clue exactly what she was doing. Parts of the shows ideology itself is equally harmful, like alice and dana shopping for strap-ons (bc alice is bisexual and therefore loves penetrative sex, and dana is a lesbian and therefore doesn’t), or just that the shows ensemble cast reflects the background, and everyone is cis white thin feminine, etc.  until they’re not, like ivan or papi, or Dylan..? (or a character’s non-whiteness function as a sort of ethnic flair to them, say papi and carmen being Latina and that being their exciting ‘exotic’ traits), that floods the show with a very recognisable sort of white Hollywood liberalism, and if we can understand and comprehend that, we get a good working frame for the rest of what’s going on. as alice and tasha were arguing about the military it was, of course, them trying to suggest that alice is this very liberal character who disagrees with the war and tasha’s politics, but not enough to…. Break things off with her. Instead (fashion tumblr user steps in) she even joins in this roleplay and dresses more femininely around her, growing out her hair a little and everything – and alice in general usually had a pretty fluid sense of style, so it was an… interesting choice. And then Jamie shows up for some reason (and is similarly one of the very few reoccurring Asian characters on the show – her, Catherine (one of helena’s stupid love interests) and adele (who is not serious); actually to make a side note on how this show was received, there was even a petition to get the character’s from alice wu’s Saving Face (which is a brilliant movie, and you should watch it) to be on the show and bring more Asian representation, from autumn 2008)

One episode I think is pretty good for reading the ethos of how TLW engages with women who aren’t their ‘ideals’ is shown is, imo, episode 3? 4? of season 1, where lacey is harassing shane for moving on from her. Lacey is one of the very few characters who leans a little more into being gender nonconforming, yes still with the full face of makeup, but with heavy punk-ish eye makeup, short hair, leather jacket, a demanding attitude, (and she’s not fat, but definietely has more weight on her than any of the verrrrry skinny main cast), and all-in-all embodies a kind of paltry attempt at TLW at bringing in someone with more of an edge, perhaps a modern day masc we might imagine – she’s really one of the only women I can think of on the show, let alone women that shane gets with, who isn’t an ultra-feminine character with long hair, tall, skinny, petite frame, etc. devoid of reality, the show really pushes on her as this over-demanding woman who reactedly badly to shane using her and moving on, and of course the show is trying to show us that shane uses people without much care for them, but doing so through lacey lets you sympathise more with shane than it would if they’d brought in a far more feminine woman who could play that damsel in distress role through looks alone. Lacey’s problems are like a pet or a child’s wherein you do what they want (in this case, another 1 night stand) to appease them, and then you get them off your back. The writing itself is very bizarre, but the fact that they used a woman who was just a little left of centre from the standard the show had set of these beautiful women in Hollywood, demonstrates enough

likewise, to go from here and talk about gender non-conformity, one of the strangest lines on the show was always kit in season 3 episode 9 saying “It just saddens me to see so many of our strong butch girls giving up their womanhood to be a man” – why she said that, I don’t know, some sort of meditation on her bizarre relationship with ivan perhaps? But that relationship fell apart because ivan was… not a man… and couldn’t be a man… whereas max is a man and could be a man, so I just don’t know.

Kit: Why can't you be the butchest butch in the world... and keep your body? Max: Because I wanna feel whole.

and he is so punished for that split away from butchness into transness, even by the woman who is notably placed outside of the lesbianism of the show – which is arguably worse than having one of the lesbians come at him for it, as kit is more or less representative of “the rest of the world” in these types of conversations, pushing max away from transition while the lesbians of the show, the ones who, you would imagine, have had some sort of intersection with transness once before (again, notably shane, who, as part of her traumatic backstory, was mistaken for a boy when she was a teenager and was paid by men to give them a handjobs) . instead the show curiously places kit there as some voice of reason, and the rest of the lesbian cast are kind of fast and loose with the whole thing. when they do talk about butchness in s3e3, it’s just bizarre. Pre-transition max pulls shane with him to unpack the car as “us butches”, and carmen giggles and jokingly calls shane a “big butch” even though, again, she’s the closest thing the show gets to reoccurring butchism, and is likely seen and imagined as butch by a lot of the people watching . at dinner later on in the episode, they make a joke about him not being “stone butch”… as if that’s a way of measuring masculinity rather than a sexual identity, before shane interrupts the conversation to say “You know what, what difference does it make whether someone is butch or femme?”. again, she is the butchest one at the table, and very notable not butch, but has gone up so close to the border before, you really wonder… why. Why there is such intense resolution to not make her butch, but really it’s because TLW functions in the absence of the butch – alice eler puts it succinctly: “The L-Word asserts that a “femme” lesbian woman is more desirable than a “butch” lesbian.”

In tlw, butch and femme are always roles played rather than realities lived, so it defaults to femininity being ‘standard’  - and this is where, imo, a lot of reaction to max’s transition hinges on. If the show can’t allow any character to firmly be ‘butch’, so when a character takes on butchness as a passage to realising his truth, that he is a trans man, it pulls out all the ugly thoughts and feelings held by certain lesbians about trans men who were, previously, identifying as lesbians/butch lesbians. Here, it really creates a perfect storm for TLW to uphold dangerous ideology (how they showed max’s transition was horrible), and justifying their cis lesbian audience’s response (they got angry that the only character who transgressed gender went ‘too far’ with it, essentially, living his truth in a way they didn’t like). I imagine, if TLW had functioning butch characters on the show, this all might’ve played out differently, but if TLW let go of its standard of femininity, then it… isn’t sexy, becoming too lesbian and too trans and alienates its non-lesbian audience, getting too deeply invested in its lesbianism than it is with its glamour. An interview with Ilene chiaken that gets thrown around a lot is here: on max, “She’s our first real butch on the show — a fabulously attractive butch, but nonetheless a real butch,” Chaiken said. “And we deal with the issue of gender. We wanted to tell that story, a big story in the gay community and, in the last couple years, a huge story in the lesbian community.” it’s an interesting statement for sure– gender transgression has always been a part of lesbianism (read any book ever), and with the advent of the internet and online communities – afterellen being founded in 2002 – more conversations could be had by lesbians from all walks of life, from any economic background or lived reality of race, ability, anything.  jack halberstam writes interestingly in Transgender Butch about butch/ftm borders that,

The distinction that some butches need to make between lesbianism and butchness hinges on a distinction between sexual and gender identities. Lesbian, obviously, refers to sexual preference and to some version of the “woman-loving woman.” Butch, on the other hand, bears a complex relation of disidentification with femininity and femaleness and, in terms of sexual orientation, could refer to “woman-loving butch” or “butch-loving butch.

butchness, and max’s ex-butchness, is never truly interacted or responded to in the show – ivan states he doesn’t mind being referred to as a he, shane half-heartedly defends butchism by asking her friends to stop talking about it, and max finds himself as a man through a meaningful identification with butchism and ‘disidentification’ with femininity to then finding a reidentification with not just masculinity, but manhood, which lends way to him truly discovering himself. Curiously, in response to this, this reidentification is one step too far, and suddenly its actually ok to be butch on the l word. The rest of the cast seems to ask him over and over again, why by a man? Why not be butch? But in the world of TLW, to be butch and to be trans are both radical acts of nonconformity, to disidentify is to no longer be the thing that sells, so you very fundamentally cannot do any of it – lisa the male lesbian in s1 is played for laughs as a transmisogynist  punchline, and carmen giggling at the idea of shane being butch (and thus disidentifying) demonstrates that this is equally hilarious.

from this angle, i feel that TLW functions primarily as a show about women attracted to women, not lesbians attracted to lesbians (lesbian as gender, as identifier, as being). Immovable womanhood is the centre of everything, constructing familiarity, and to stray is to exit safe perimeters that TLW establishes within unradical, conformist, cisgendered white femininity. candace Moore, again, writes that TLW “positions lesbianism as a sensibility, not a sexuality. This is particularly important because as a sensibility, lesbianism can potentially be co-opted by straight viewers.”

of course, it would be remiss to fail in mentioning that much of this discussion about tlw’s association to butchness is very much within whiteness as well – we can argue that tasha is a stud even if she never says the word herself, her specific attraction being to “girly girls” and her riding a motorbike, always with a more masculine wardrobe, and being in the……. Army………. Really aligns her with this sentiment. I do think she’s a stud, but this being off the back of the show’s depiction of max sits so strangely, and we can’t ignore that her blackness is so instinctually connected to how they wrote her – in a world where no one else can be a butch, why then is the only dark skinned black lesbian more masculine leaning than the rest of them? yes, racism, and all tied in to her nationalism and dedication to the army. It’s certainly an interesting choice for the writers to make and, while she is one of my favourites in the whole show, I definitely have a lot of pause with why she was written and created the way she was, and what she offers the show politically – she holds space as a particularly vulnerable body, a dark skin black stud lesbian, but maintains the status quo of the country and of American imperialism. What’s the message? Even the most unavailable of lesbians can still be patriots??? the individual's physical unfuckable body is still acessible through american aligience?

As later seasons continued to get worse, parts I did really enjoy were tasha’s entire character, molly’s entire character, seeing tina ‘get her life back’ as it were and return to painting, jodi’s entire character, all the music featured, and bette and tina getting back together was really well written and laurel holloman and Jennifer beals are just two very strong actors steering that ship, and random moments throughout I really enjoyed (specifically bette’s professional life gave a lot of breathing room for the show to have other funny little characters, like her office assistants etc) that I’m struggling to remember here rn tbh but generally even as the show was getting bad, the more ridiculous things got the more fun I was having, but the later seasons ‘drama’ was a little painful. If it had started as a drama and then shifted into something more palatable, I think it would’ve been great, but really anything that wasn’t season 6 would have been fine.. just such an unforgiving and cruel way to end the show, and I thought adding jenny to the mix of toxic sad relationships after leaving her straight life and coming to terms with her abuse was such a mean-spirited and cruel way to end it IDK! And this is why the l word FAILS as a sitcom, bc at least usually (to my knowledge) the  idea is that at the end… they’re kinda happy and stepping into another new life with some stability and lifelong friends!!! But instead TLW said fuck you and I hate you

anyway yeah closing thoughts… if you watch TLW without even thinking about representation I think it’s an easy watch, bc what I was watching it for is psycho lesbians who don’t act normally and that’s what I got. All caricatures of themselves or whatever they’re performing in the shadows of, and, in a way – and maybe this is a little weird to say – but I think the lesbians in the show are, to me, like watching a species of lesbian that I myself am not. Which is a shame because, if I recall correctly, a lot of those musical performances in the show were about exposing the world to lesbian music that broke the norm and went against the stereotype of music people associated with lesbians at the time, showing them on the cutting edge of new sound, which somehow did not cross into the actual meat of the show at all. And I haven’t spoken at all about it here, but a lot of those musical features are my favourite parts of the show and made some of those scenes just electric, magical parts of storytelling on tv

to address the “you”/I in what “I think”, and this one actually is TMI, when I first watched the L word, it was when I had really just finished coming to terms with my own lesbianism back in late 2021, early 2022 (I was gay and trans before this, but hiding from myself and my sexuality and my gender in complex ways, living a sort of double life online and offline – this was more an unforgiving reckoning with who I was vs what the life I was leading looked like). i was finally letting myself think about it holistically, reflecting on conversion therapy and how I navigated my desires and my identity. I wrote a lot of melodramatic diary entries and was trying to figure out how to handle a 3 year long semi-formed, confusing, and impressively undefined ‘situation’ship I was in with a guy while I was living alone during a gap year. all I really did in this time was go to the gym, go on walks, go to therapy, and think… a lot. by the time I started watching TLW I had come to terms with my lesbianism (and its inextricable relationship to my gender), but watching jenny go through something I had basically been in the thick of myself (just without all the sex and the cheating and the sex and the sex and the sex), and was, at that point, yet to experience the real horror of, meant a lot to me, and, just from some reading online, I’ve understood too how the early seasons of TLW really helped a lot of other lesbians come out to themselves or start thinking about where they might sit in relation to lesbianism. again, TLW fails time and time again at any sort of political radicalism, but when you’re so, so painfully alone and you don’t really have anyone to talk to about these desires, or even have the strength to talk about these things out loud, I do think somehow the unabashed desire flung around the screen of TLW does one thing, and that is to declare that lesbianism doesn’t have to be in your head, and that even good change can be really difficult when it’s something like this, and that, to me, was the best thing TLW added to the conversation about lesbian TV and reflects, for a lot of lesbians who find themselves trying to navigate repression and abuse, the experience that we’re still moving through: taking hold of our lives with our own hands

beyond that, beyond being a story about transformation – which I do think really permeates the first season (dana coming out to the world and to her parents; shane learning how to love or whatever the fuck genuinely; tina and bette trying and failing and trying to live the life they’d always dreamt of; marina navigating her own bad relationship through a sort of uncaring outwards desire;  bette ‘choosing’ the wrong path from her married life and cheating; kit re-entering the world of professional music and working hard to get into that music video thing situation – I think s1 is just such a rare gem of tv, that had so many flaws in it and so much was mishandled, but it came to it all with a lot of heart. But still that same angle is what alienates it from reality and sets it up as this fantasy land of woman-who-engage-in-lesbianism and abstractifies lesbian reality to make way for lesbian (or straight) fantasies of standard hegemony with a little zest. As it goes on however, it falls so hard to the more difficult aspects already clear at its start, and dramatizes their sexual escapades and relationships endlessly in a way that gives, says, and does nothing. jill dolan describes it well, albeit more positively than I have here: “part of the fun has become to simply go with it, to enjoy its excesses of character and plot and to tolerate its rather sweetly absurd attempts at relevance and authenticity.” and you really can ‘go with it’ for a while, but to put it shortly, TLW is not a show worth following to the end of the earth

[wlwhq]

hey babies! i am home from my trip! this weekend was awesomely wild - ran a 5k (my first one!!!), ate some delicious snacks, rode some amazing rides, and made some cool memories! not sure when i will get to go back when i normally visit dland two or three times a year, so this was a great way to round out my fav vacation and start 2024 off right.

under the cut are some changes to my activity and how i plan on operating this blog ooc. nothing crazy! but i wanted to keep you all in the loop. i should really make a rules page, maybe i will do that, but in the meantime, ill link this post to my pinned and then you can read it whenever. love u babes

starting with my next adventure in life - i am going back to school starting this week, taking four hugely important classes so i can apply to a rad tech program this summer. basically, if you thought i was slow before (which I am), i am about to get even slower and most likely be dropping things that sit for too long. i am also going to suspend discord writing/rping for the time being, as i already have little to no motivation to get logged onto there when my tumblr drafts get as high as they do.

i am going to be making a point of prioritizing the tumblr replies that (in no particular order) 1) come from people i have befriended and spoken to/plotted with ooc, 2) have been longstanding and either are about to be wrapped up or have a feasible end point, 3) have just been started for me or were plotted/started while i was away (whether things are kept up once the vibe is felt up will be figured out as i go), and 4) i am personally excited about replying to.

im telling ya, it’s going to be a rough semester and i am anticipating my activity going from slow to possibly nonexistent at times. #4 on that list above is most important to me, as this is a hobby and i want to come here as a definite stress reliever & not let it add to my stress. the easiest way to make me feel #4 about our threads or ships or interactions, whatever you wanna call them, is by doing #1. cannot promise fast ooc responses either, but they will definitely be faster than replies. this is not me becoming a “private” multimuse, just a gentle encouragement that if you want “quicker” replies from me from here on out, id prefer that we talk ooc and become friendly if we aren’t already - if you want your replies to not sit as long!

i am sooososos sorry to spring long paragraphs on you time and time again, but i am trying to not disappoint anyone, hurt any feelings, or deter anyone who wants to write with me. in order for me to keep my sanity for the next few months, changing the way that i run this blog is essential. i understand if you want to either drop threads, unfollow, or break the mutual if you’re reading this and are not thrilled about it. i want you to make your dash what you want to make it, the same way i have done with mine! please feel free to message me if you're wanting to be one of those "primary" blogs that i devote my energy to replying to. chances are if you think you are one of them, you are, but still.

tldr; i love you all to the moon and back and this isn't goodbye!!! i shall still be around, just devoting my energy to the things that i have the most muse for because they are plotted out/fangirled about/loved down ooc as well as ic. <3

[atxxzist]

Hello, thanks for your long answer! Btw I didn't think the first chapter of Blacklist was bad or anything (but I understand you might not be happy with it personally), I just wasn't sure if the stories would be my style. I don't always love bad boy stories, so I often drop them, especially if there's smut involved very early on and it makes no sense whatsoever.

I think Seonghwa was an asshole and a little bitch boy initially, but he did come across as genuine at times and in the end was still a flawed human with unresolved issues. I'm glad you gave us an open ending that was still hopeful. I think Y/N and Hwa have a future together, but it won't come easy and it shouldn't, because Y/N needs to trust him fully. The chemistry is there, they can communicate quite well, but Seonghwa needs to earn it. I love a slow burn and I love enemies to lovers, but unless the fic is long and detailed as hell I'm not gonna believe people who truly despised each other are suddenly lovey dovey! So your ending was just right imo. And the fact we had a time jump also makes it better, months have passed yet Seonghwa was still into Y/N and this time for the right reasons, and decided to come back and try again. This is a good sign. But I'm glad Y/N stood her ground. I think they may figure things out together eventually and I think Seonghwa deserves a chance after all, but he needs to put a lot of work into it.

And one more thing, I appreciate that Y/N had flaws as well, Seonghwa did call her out on her behaviour too. It's not like they were on the same level, lol because Hwa fucked up a few times, but I understand that Y/N's attitude was a bit upsetting as well.

no bc i completely understand 😭 i am the biggest anti-smut person ever and will look for any excuse in the world to not write it (and i kind of found one for blacklist lol) but all jokes aside, i am also not a very big fan of smut scenes where i cannot personally see the logic behind it. like what is the dynamic about the two at this point that they'll agree to such an act, y'know. bc the process can indeed be just very quick and dirty, but it is also a very intimate process that has a lot of power in taking the relationship to a new level. which is why i could not give it to seonghwa and y/n at the time or else yall would've gotten a very toxic smut scene (the first time in his car) 😭 which i am embarrassed to say, almost was gunna b the case.

more under the cut again dskdkjsajkdsjasd

but yes to everything you said. if i truly was to rlly develop their relationship fully to something that is more definite as opposed to the more open ending, it would've gone forever 😭 which was why i said at one point, i was afraid this series was gonna b longer than my last one (that is 100k words) but the potential for them is definitely there, tho it gets crazier the more i think about it bc of how different both their worlds are (even im not sure how his parents would feel about y/n) but we not gonna go there. we can just assume it goes well tho, bc my inspiration for hwa's character and the dynamic between him and y/n comes from f4 thailand's thyme and gorya 🥰 and they had a very happy ending.

also def, i tried to make y/n's flaws apparent (like her losing it with sumi and hongjoong and going to seonghwa out of spite) also the retelling of her past, since she was mostly known to just be self righteous and outspoken, but she is also not perfect <3

once again, ty anon, for taking the time to send me this message and share your thoughts, as well as to allow me to share mine 💕 u r not obligated to respond or reply to all of it. just know i appreciate it 🥰 and if there's a chance of u making future reappearances, feel free to give urself an emoji of your choice <3

[1d1195]

HIIIII it’s been a while i’m so sorry i’ve just had a terrible time since i sent my last ask :// summer is soooo kicking my ass but i am trying to persevere !!🫡 LMAO

MAKING HIM TAKE BUZZFEED QUIZZES IS SO SMART OMG I NEED TO TRY THAT !!! he said Steal My Girl 😂😂 lil basic but i can’t blame him it is a bop, we both go crazy when that one comes on

I SAW THE NEWEST UPDATE ON THE my-boyfriend-is-trying-to-be-a-writer-thread and SAMANTHA I CANT WITH YOU LMAOOOOOO this thread is so funny i just love that IT KEEPS GOING dw queen i devoured that 10k traditional chapter as if it were 1k🫡🫡🫡

also queen just wanted to let you know your stories follow me everywhere🥹 saw a framed poster on etsy titled ‘Wildflower Garden’ and it was SOOOOOOOOOO protection coded💔💔 it was a bunch of pretty flowers and it had Sweet Creature lyrics “wherever i go, you bring me home”😭😭 i love them sm he would totally buy it as a present for her on a random tuesday and they would forever hang it up in their home😭 and i saw a video on insta and i was CACKLING😭😭 some girl was talking abt how her dentist had his fingers in her mouth and she said something inappropriate and i was like ‘this is basically the plot of chapter 2 of Toothpaste’ HAHAHAHAH

i saw you posted Most and it looks SOOOO interesting but i really can’t lie im scared to read it cause everyone and their MOTHER are in your inbox hating on some bitch named lauren ??? i don’t know her AND I DONT NEED TO TO KNOW THAT IM NOT GONNA LIKE HER EITHER😭😭 THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN !!! once u post part 2 i’ll def read it🙂‍↕️🤞

I STARTED LOVE AND OTHER WORDS LAST NIGHT ??? I ALREADY LOVE IT i’m barely a hundred pages in and i’m soooo invested in their story. what gets me is homegirl KNOWS he’s the love of her life and HE KNOWS IT TOO ?? and i’m just sitting here like “make out already ???🤨” HAHAHAHA but i know it’s not that easy😔 but i will defff let you know what i think as i read some more

idk if im stupid or what but i had NO clue Christina Lauren was TWO PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAH i opened the back cover of the book and i was like😦😦 ive seen SOOO many people talk about and recommending their books yet i never knew that ?😭 i think co-writing books with your bestie is SOOO amazing omg

HOW ARE YOUUUU ?? I MISS YOU SO MUCH 💕💕 catch me up on everything, big or small it doesn’t matter 🫶🫶🫶

~🎶

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear you weren't doing well! I hope everything is okay, feel free to vent if you need to 💕 I'm so happy to hear from you, but don't feel bad about late replies, I'm happy to hear from you at all 💕

Steal My Girl reminds me of fall (the whole album does) but that was my favorite of their first song album drops. It really fit the vibe. The music video always makes me laugh. I never knew I needed to see Louis with a chimp until then 😭 A LITTLE BASIC. I'm SCREAMING. Good for him though, I don't think that's an obvious choice for casual listeners. I love it!

HAHAHAHAHA I feel like I'm truly living a double agent life. I feel a little bad but I will never tell him. He'll live without knowing. You're so kind 😭 10k of Harry being sick is usually where I start rereading Traditional. I don't think I've reread parts 1-5 since like maybe a week after I wrote them 😂

Omg that's so cute 😭 I think about that a lot, if my writing pops up in people's lives. Someone a while back sent a message that their parents got a new washer and dryer and her mom tested it with like one sock and it made her think about Love and Dryer Sheets and I just thought that was so cool 😭 I LOVE the idea of her buying the poster for her on a random Tuesday. I feel like Toothpaste is going to be simultaneously the most relatable one and least relatable one as idk if I know any hot dentists 😭 but that's really funny nonetheless!

I think I remember you telling me that you don't like to read unfinished stories? I think you did it with Dolcezza maybe; no worries either way. But knowing that, you may want to sit this one out until I get like part 2 AND 3 posted? I feel like I'm going to get "SAMANTHA -🎶" in my inbox and nothing else if you read it before it's done 😂 But yes, we HATE Lauren here. But of course I want you to read it when you have time/want to 💕 I would love to hear your thoughts!

I'm so happy you're loving it! MAKE OUT ALREADY LITERALLY. I just loved their story so so much he's so in love with her I cannot. It gets a little deeper but it hooked me so fast I couldn't put it down. I think I read it in one day.

YES. I forget how I figured it out, if I also read the back cover or if I was googling them or something idk. But it's SO cool they write together! I wish I had a writing bestie to do that with, but anyway!

I'm doing well! I think when we last chatted I was STRESSED™ over everything and now I'm MUCH less stressed thankfully. I'm really not doing a whole lot these days. Just trying to enjoy the summer even though the weather is crappy af lately. Too hot to breathe one day and then raining off and on for hours. Can't do anything outside. I made a yummy pasta dish for dinner last night and other than that, my life is pretty boring.

I hope you're doing better, I've missed you so much as well! I hope that things calm and settle for you so you can relax and enjoy 💕

xoxo

[waterberry-strawmelon]

Random question, but fellow writers/readers:

At what point does portrayal of traumatic events and trauma recovery become romanticized, or when is the portrayal actually more harmful than it is an interesting story?

[curseofaphrodite]

Midnight Lullabies

Regulus Black x reader 

Summary: sneaking out with Reg to the kitchen and back to his room. Just some fluffy midnight conversations 💕 Requested by anon.

(not my gif!)

Subtle knocks on the door- knocks so soft you wouldn't have heard them if you weren't awake already. You tried not to wake your roommates and opened the door. Regulus stood there with a huge smile on his face, one that was visible even in the darkness.

You had just started dating him, and to say he was different would be an understatement. Now that he knew he didn't have to hide his affections, he didn't try to hide them at all. He may not have been a fan of PDA, but he still held your hands whenever he could.

- When you walk down the stairs and see him there? Even before talking, he’ll hold out his hands with a cheeky grin and you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter every time.

- While you’re in library, both of you would sit so close to each other and every few minutes, almost unconsciously, Regulus would press a kiss to your head.

- When you’re completing assignments late at night, sometimes you’ll fall asleep on his shoulder and he won’t disturb you. Other kids would throw pointed glances at him, a clear message that said - look at Regulus Black being so soft and sappy. He wouldn’t mind them, but a blush would appear each time, because hey, it was partly true.

Now back to the present, where your boyfriend’s leaning against the door, looking at you like you were the most stunning sight he’s ever seen, and you already knew what he was going to ask.

”I can’t sneak out with you every few nights Reg,” you said, sighing. “We’ll get caught and then I’ll have to kill you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Slytherins don’t get caught.”

“But Slytherins can be killed,” you shook your head softly. He still looked amused.

”You want me to beg, then? Fine.” He dropped down to his knees. 

You let out an alarmed and annoyed gasp, before pulling him back up.

”Don’t want me to beg? Okay, I can sing.”

Your eyes widened. “God, no-”

“Breathing in the dark, lying on it's side! The ruins of the day painted with a scar!”

“You’re going to wake up everyone, shut u-”

“Oh oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain. Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go awa-”

“MERLIN’S BEARD, I’LL COME!”

He victoriously smiled and held out his hands again.

You were glad you went with him, because you had the time of your life. You went to the kitchen, where the house elves adored Regulus for some reason, and they got you ice cream, sandwiches, chicken roast, ginger lime - literally everything they had in the kitchen. You were sure you would combust if you ate them all, but Regulus was already attacking his bowl of ice cream with a spoon.

He looked up and said, “You should eat something or they will kill you.”

“You have ice cream everywhere on your face, Reg.” You informed. He shrugged and continued eating.

The house elves were looking at you earnestly, so you took a sandwich and ate it just for the sake of making it out of the kitchen alive.

“Okay, this is absolutely delicious.” You said, genuinely surprised at flavors. All of them looked so happy, like you just handed them free money.

“MARRY HER!” One of them yelled to Regulus.

You thought he would choke on his ice cream, but he smiled and replied, “Oh, I plan to.”

Could your face get any redder? Apparently, yes.

After all of this, you were about to go to your room, but he dragged you to his instead. This wasn’t the first time nor did you think it will be the last time he did this, so you followed him without fretting too much. 

“Your scent’s so strong it keep my nightmares away,” he had jokingly said one day. While that maybe impossible, you did notice how he slept a bit calmer when he had you by his side.

So yes, now here you are, sleeping next to Regulus Black, his hands around our waist in that familiar heart-stopping way.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, weariness clear in his voice,

“Just wake me up two hours before anyone would, and I can go back to my room.” You whispered back.

“Deal.” He smiled, giving a slight kiss on your lips.

You wanted to sleep, but the question came out of your mouth before you could stop it.

“Did you mean what you said? You really love me enough to marry me?”

He laughed. “Y/N L/N, if I could marry you right now, I would. In fact, when we’re both of age, the first thing I’ll do in the morning is proposing to you.”

“Hey, now that takes away all the surprise!” You whined. “Or- maybe I’ll surprise you by proposing to you instead.”

“Impossible, I’ll beat you to it.”

“I’ll stay up till midnight and stand outside your door with flowers and a ring,” you said, snuggling closer to him. “I’ll wear the most gorgeous dress ever, and when you see me, you’ll go speechless. I’ll use that time to propose.”

“That’s not fair,” he whispered. “I go speechless every time. Even without any fancy gowns.”

You never felt so in love as you did that moment. 

“I love you,” you said, because you didn’t know what else to say.

“I love you too,” he pressed a kiss against your forehead. 

You were asleep within minutes, and you already looked forwards to waking up, because no matter how good your dreams would be, being with Regulus and being in love were far superior. 

[miomines]

a mother's regret

hi. this isn't as much of a showdown but i tried my best ok. idk what to really put here but i hope u enjoy it

part 1 | interlude 1 | part 2 | interlude 2

The Anemo Archon is one that's quite difficult to find. He is a free spirit, moving gracefully along with the wind. It can be an admirable trait but it also makes him impossible to find. Meili also personally thinks he may be avoiding her. Unlucky for him, she will not give up on her search. If anything, the avoidance is only making her more irritated and more determined to find the little pest.

Barbatos is not in any of his regular spots, but she expected something of the sort. That annoying wisp is avoiding her so any spots he frequents are now all places he avoids. If there's anything the Anemo Archon is good at, it's running. However, Meili is a dragon. Meili is a predator and she is good at tracking down prey. 

At the edge of Starsnatch Cliff is where she sits for now. When she finds Barbatos, she will need to tell him that the cathedral really needs more security. The Holy Lyre der Himmel was quite easy for her to pick up without notice. The illusion on it was easily shattered but it doesn't take much energy to truly mend it.

(Meili was quite tempted to destroy that statue of his in front of the cathedral down to rubble. She refrained. It would not be good to get undesired attention drawn to herself. Perhaps another time.)

Embedded into the earth behind her is the Vortex Vanquisher, the power pulsing towards her in calming waves as she carelessly plucks at the lyre's strings. Would her little gem enjoy a lyre? This one is much too worn down for them, even with her mending. She will have to gather another one for them.

Her attention is grabbed by the flowing wind as it rushes around her. It's not the wind of that little pest, she notes. Meili pushes her hair out of her face as she waits, turning her attention back to the lyre in her lap. She hums, waiting for the wind to settle to talk to who has joined her.

"Dvalin," she greets without looking. She feels his rumbling in response more than she hears it. She turns her head when the other dragon nudges her arm. Meili finally looks over, before pausing. "You've grown since I've last seen you," she notes with a fond smile. "I have missed you, little hatchling."

"Little?" He replies with an amused snort. "I have missed you too, Mei. It's been a long time." His tone sounds fond and wistful, thoughtful. She wishes she had visited him sooner. It truly has been too long.

Meili laughs as she stands, turning to look at Dvalin as she speaks. "Whether I take a human form or not, you will always be a little hatchling to me, dear Dvalin." She hums and leans forward with a rueful smile. "However, I am not here for a reunion today."

Dvalin leans his head down, resting on the ground to talk face to face with her. She can't help but smile as he gives her his full attention. Meili has always adored this little hatchling. She places a hand on his snout, a content rumble emitting from her chest. 

Meili sighs as she pulls away, the content purr trailing off as she becomes serious. "Barbatos. Do you know of his current location?" She asks as she tugs the spear free from the ground. Meili shoves the lyre into a satchel, tugging the strap over her head to keep it with her.

"He has committed a terrible crime to Our Divinity and to my little gem. It's time for me to have a chat with the wisp," her voice drops into a snarl. She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. It would not do to lose her temper. Not here. Not to Dvalin.

He hums as he considers the request. "He currently resides in Old Mondstadt. He has hidden there ever since Morax has sent over a message. I can take you there if you wish. He has been tense since he sensed your arrival."

Meili smiles fondly. Perhaps one day she'll bring her little gem to meet him. Dvalin is kind and even if he can sense her rage, he still brings her to the Anemo Archon. She does not get angry over little things and he knows it. He knows her anger is over something serious.

"I would appreciate that, little hatchling," she says. It doesn't take long to pull herself onto his back. Shifting forms would take too long and she wishes to face the annoying wisp as herself. Dvalin launches them up into the sky, the wind whipping around them as he flies. Curiously, she leans forward to ask, "are you aware of what Barbatos has done?"

"Not entirely," Dvalin replies. It's a leisurely flight, a comforting air around them. Perhaps it's because they have missed each other all these years. "I have my suspicions however. Mei, you never truly get involved unless it has something to do with you or something against your morals. If you are here to talk to Barbatos, it means this is something that is truly important."

"It is," she hums as she watches the scenery of the nation fly by. "He has done something both against my morals and something to do with me. More specifically, to do with my little gem. They're quite dear to me and Barbatos has hurt them severely. It's due time for us to have a little chat."

Old Mondstadt is in the distance and she knows they will be there soon. Meili truly does wish to share what has happened with Dvalin. She wishes to go into detail, explain everything, explain why she's so angry at the wind wisp and her stupid brother-- not her brother! Morax, the blundering fool. An explanation to Dvalin is something she wishes to give but talking to that little pest is something that she finds far more important.

"You will inform me more of his actions another time, yes?" Dvalin asks, curiosity colouring his voice. She chuckles and places a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing comforting circles on the skin.

"Of course, little hatchling."

He rumbles and shakes his head, as if annoyed by the pet name. Meili knows it's all for show and so she laughs. She knows when they arrive in Old Mondstadt, this calm and peaceful air will dissipate. She knows that this is a temporary peace. Dvalin is free to side with whoever he chooses, but deep down, Meili's worried that one day they will be on opposing sides.

Dvalin is loyal and for most of his existence, he has loved Barbatos. Meili, while endlessly fond of Dvalin, was not a constant presence. She did not check in often. Barbatos is flighty at best but even he has spent more time with the little hatchling than she has. She loves him but she knows she was not there for him, was not aware when he was taken advantage of. She only wishes that she could go back in time to take care of him.

"That spear," he starts. They're just now entering Old Mondstadt and she can tell he's slowing down. "Are you using it as a means to an end?"

"Do not worry," Meili says. She watches as they descend, as Dvalin latches onto the crumbling tower. "I do not plan to kill him. However it is good for Barbatos to remember that I could. They forget that I am not weak. I did not survive the war just to be labeled as a damsel in distress."

He snorts, shaking his head as Meili slides down. She grins up at him as she straightens up. "They forgot you are a healer by choice?" He questions. She nods with a scoff and Dvalin sighs. "Barbatos is in the tower here," he continues on. "I don't know which part he is in currently. If he attempts to leave, I will inform you."

Meili smiles, her heart flooding with warmth. Truly, what did she do to deserve Dvalin? He has been too kind when he doesn't even know the full story. "Thank you, little hatchling," she ducks her head. "I swear to you that I will explain everything in depth soon."

Dvalin nudges his nose against her gently, a soft rumble in the air. "I trust you, Mei. Talk some sense into Barbatos. I will keep watch." With that, he launches up into the air and she watches as he starts to circle the ruins.

Meili sighs and summons the spear, twirling it in her hands before she starts her search. The wind is unnaturally calm, as if the little wisp were trying to hide. Her boots make quiet thumps as she travels through the tower ruins, the only sound cutting through the eerie silence.

"Little songbird?" She calls out. The pet name tastes of ash on her tongue but she ignores it. If she pretends that everything is fine then perhaps… Meili takes a look around and pouts, a crafted look of sadness. "My little wisp?" She calls, her tone carefully sounding meek.

There's a slight breeze and she bites the inside of her cheek to suppress her smile. Barbatos was once someone she loved as a child, but if he thinks he can run into her arms as if nothing happened… Then he truly has deluded himself.

"Mei?" 

Meili turns and meets the gaze of the Anemo Archon. He peers out behind some ruins, a hesitant but hopeful look on his face. If she drops the facade now, she has no doubt that he will bolt. 

(Barbatos once called her mama. All cheerful and playful as he ran from an angered Morax. She remembers smiling, laughing at the annoyed noise that escaped her brother. Her little songbird ran towards her and she wrapped her arms around him. He presses his face into her side, breathlessly giggling as she glares playfully at an irritated Morax.)

This is not her little songbird. Meili must remember that. Even if a part of her protests against her planned harshness, she will carry on. One day, perhaps, he can earn that title back. Far, far in the future. 

She swallows through the lump in her throat and forces a bright smile. Meili takes the Vortex Vanquisher and sticks it into the ground. He brightens, still hesitant but shining with hope. He lets out a happy noise when she opens her arms.

(Meili caught her little wisp in her arms as she laughed loudly. "What are you doing, you little rascal?" She teased as he grinned up at her.

"What are you talking about?" He blinked innocently. It would be believable if it weren't for her brother, fuming and soaking wet as he tore into the room. "Mama!" Barbatos cried as he burrowed into her arms. "I didn't do anything! I love you!!")

Barbatos crashes into her and she stumbles. A part of her warms at the feeling of him in her arms. Mine, it whispers. She denies it. Not hers. This isn't her little wisp. This isn't her songbird. Her little songbird wouldn't..

("I.. I was in Mondstadt first," they said. They shrink into the pillows, curling up in a way that she warned against. It disturbed the bandages, their injuries, but she knows better now to insist on it. "I was happy, you know? This was a place I dreamed of being able to experience. I don't really know how I got here in the first place but I wasn't going to waste the opportunity that I had!"

Meili placed down her pencil and paper, the ones she used to doodle, and looked up at her little one. "They were harsh and attacked you?" She guessed. They nodded with a light sniff.

"I knew of Venti, of Barbatos. I thought he'd be able to help me, you know? I didn't know of whatever All-Creator they were talking about. I wasn't trying to… to pretend to be some deity! I just.. I just wanted to make friends.. " They trailed off. She stood to make her way over to their bed and they had shuffled over to make room for her to sit.

"Barbatos hadn't helped you," she said.

They shook their head. "He pointed his bow at me and said I was a disgrace.")

"Mei! I was so worried that you were going to be angry with me!"

("Meili, he hunted me down.")

"Zhongli sent me a letter explaining what happened and I was kinda scared you know? I should've known he was just being a blockhead again!"

("I couldn't stay in Mondstadt because he was always watching. If I stopped for a single moment he would be there.")

"I told him that he shouldn't have pushed so hard! You would've figured it out eventually! I knew you would never forsake the Divine One!"

("He kept calling me a slippery pest who needed to be put down.")

"Mei, I always believed in you! Morax is a fool sometimes. I know you're too smart to be played like a fiddle by some impersonator~"

("I was so scared I was going to die..")

In her arms is Barbatos. For a single moment she lets herself mourn for her little songbird. Her little wisp. He has grown into something she cannot stand and she cannot let her heart be soft for such a person.

Her arms are loosely wrapped around his shoulders. She's hunched over, her body tense as she squeezes her eyes shut. Her sweet innocent songbird is dead. It didn't hurt this much when she confronted Zho-- Morax. Perhaps it's because she can still see parts of her little wisp. It's an illusion, she tells herself. He's gone.

(She lets herself think of her little gem when they were bed ridden. She thinks of the broken pieces of arrowheads that were embedded in those wounds. She thinks of her little gem smiling and finally remembers that this little pest is still trying to kill them.)

Meili lets herself laugh, her voice sounding broken and slightly unhinged. She can feel his confusion but he doesn't tense even when she tightens her grip. It's only when sharp claws tightly keep him in place does he realize. "Oh, Barbatos," she croons. She leans back to look him in the eyes. Her little wisp is gone and all that's left of him is this pest. "I am flattered with your belief in me but I do believe it is misplaced~"

Barbatos blanches and tries to pull away from her grasp. She doesn't let him, grabbing his chin roughly to dig the claws into his skin. She never brings out more than her horns, but her feelings of rage and undertones of mourning has let some parts of her hidden draconic nature emerge.

"My little wisp," she says mockingly. There's a part of her that aches at the pet name and she lets it fuel her rage. "Do you truly believe that I will let you hurt a child?"

"M-Mei!" He cries out and she tightens her grip. "You- you don't understand! They're a criminal, Mei!"

"Oh, I'm aware," she spits. "I've heard the explanations from Morax, of the excuses. The impersonator who walked into Mondstadt one day and was immediately ridiculed. Tell me, little songbird, did they even claim to be the Divine One?"

He struggles in her grip and she drops him to the floor. She digs out the spear and twirls it in her hand as he stumbles, scrambling to stand up from his place on the floor. 

"Did they truly impersonate the All-Creator? Or did they simply exist?"

Meili looms over him as she slowly stalks back over to him. He's shifting in place, one foot behind the other as he looks ready to bolt.

"Little wisp," she whispers mockingly. "If you run, I will find you. We're just here to have a little chat is all."

Barbatos takes a glance at the spear in her hand, at the Vortex Vanquisher and she simply grins.

"Oh, this little thing? It's just a precaution, you know how it is~" She flicks dirt off the tip of the spear nonchalantly. "Morax was the one to start our little fight. Did he mention that or did he say I was too aggressive and he had to do something to amend that?"

He stays silent, his body tense as he keeps his eyes on her. A big difference than her encounter with Morax. Perhaps he will actually listen to what she says. Whether or not he believes it is another issue altogether.

"Now," she starts. "Let me put it like this." Meili straightens with a grin, eyes narrowed as she stares at the little pest. "Imagine that you wake up in a different realm than you were used to. It looks beautiful and resembles something that you remember. You go to make friends and you're immediately scorned."

She hums and stalks forward. Meili throws an arm over her shoulder and puts her claws beneath his chin. She lifts his gaze as she continues. "You don't know what they're talking about or what they're referring to. You just got there after all. You see someone you think you remember and you go to ask for help. Someone who you're fond of, who you trust. They call you a disgrace."

Meili tugs him closer and he stares at the arm thrown over his shoulders. More specifically the spear she's wielding. She shakes it in her grasp and laughs. "Then they start a nationwide hunt!" She gasps, as if truly shocked.

She lets out a low growl and shakes her head. "Somehow, my little gem knew you as the God of Freedom. They had hoped, out of everyone, you would help. Instead you trapped them and now you continue to try and take their freedom."

Meili twirls the Vortex Vanquisher idly as she steps away from him. She clicks her tongue and sighs. "Little songbird, I am truly disappointed in you. They had asked for help and instead you tried to kill them. They wish to have the freedom to live peacefully and here you are, trying to ruin that. Do you really think I would go along with something like that?"

"Mei, they're-"

"-Don't call me that."

Barbatos startles at the hiss and ducks his head. "Meili," he says slowly. "They ruin the image of the All-Creator. Surely you understand that…?"

"Pathetic," she sneers. "You truly are a little pest. The only resemblance you have to my dear songbird is your appearance and that's not even your own." 

Meili doesn't blink as he flinches back, instead pulling out the Holy Lyre der Himmel out of the satchel. Without a moment of hesitation, she throws it full force to the ground and it shatters into splinted pieces. "You should get the cathedral to increase their security," she hums. "It's pretty bad." 

She lets the spear vanish in with sparkling lights and pushes past the pest. "Don't come near my house, little pest, I'll tear you to shreds if I see you anywhere near my little gem." 

"Oh, and Barbatos?" She calls over her shoulder. She continues before he can respond, holding up a lyre in the air. His personal lyre. "Take care of your belongings better. You're pretty bad at it."

Meili leaves without another word. Hopefully her little gem would like a lyre? She hopes they will play her a tune with it.

[folkloreguk]

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

[soulwillower]

semi-charming •  bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested:  Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :)    +      AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH     +     don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh  !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au, 

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional. 

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that. 

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake. 

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise. 

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door. 

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes. 

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either. 

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music." 

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off." 

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation. 

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding. 

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give. 

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in." 

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it. 

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him. 

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?" 

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms. 

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?" 

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person. 

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst. 

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg. 

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall. 

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!" 

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him. 

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either. 

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts. 

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet. 

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack." 

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf. 

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot. 

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you. 

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip. 

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane.  "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly. 

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth. 

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away. 

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid. 

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh. 

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from. 

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done." 

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated." 

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly. 

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are,  i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk. 

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out. 

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you. 

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you. 

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own.  "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving? 

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants. 

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes. 

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down. 

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate. 

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once. 

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure. 

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?" 

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to." 

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock. 

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back. 

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly. 

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan. 

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums. 

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out. 

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce. 

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building. 

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours. 

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

 "you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to. 

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already. 

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple. 

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours. 

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close. 

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters. 

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall. 

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous. 

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease. 

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him. 

tag list:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier  @sft-core @clownsloveyou  @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie  @decafcoffeew

[tartglias]

diluc, kaeya, albedo and childe when they’re in love

“ahh ok i just discovered ur blog and this is my very first ever request to a blog. so uhm can i req diluc, kaeya, albedo & childe headcanons on what they'll do when they're in love? like, will their attitude change when they're around the reader HAHAHA it's ok if u remove a character <3 if u don't want to write it feel free to ignore hehe”

Diluc

Even though you both decided to keep the relationship away from the public eye, it’s not shocking that certain people come and ask if you can deliver a message to Diluc. It tends to be Kaeya or even Jean, whenever the Knights of Favonius are too busy to handle something a little too dangerous. Sometimes it’s even Venti, trying to persuade you to convince Diluc to lower the dandelion wine price.

Whoever the person is, they come to you because they know that Diluc has a soft spot for you. If something catches your eye, expect it on your doorstep the following day. He loves to spoil you, to the point in which you have to tell him to stop gifting you things, and that his love is and will always be enough.

And obviously, they know that if someone can convince him of doing something, that someone is you. It’s amusing how the normal situation switches when it comes to you. If Kaeya approaches him and asks for a favor, expect a very angry Diluc rolling his eyes and turning around, completely dismissing him while trying to not make a scene in front of you and the other costumers at the tavern. But, if it’s you who delivers the message, he just sighs and meditates it, eventually giving in. You see him smile slightly once you quickly kiss his cheek and thank him.

“Why do you always decline these requests but accept them once I ask you?” You once asked, looking up to face him as you cuddled him in bed. His hair was messy and untied, but he still looked beautiful, specially under the moon light.

“Because you’re not annoying” he simply said, caressing your cheek. You stared at him, unconvinced. This earned you a soft laugh from the man beneath you.

“I don’t know, I just can’t say no to you. Which is funny because now everyone knows you’re my weakness” He said.

It was then and there that he understood how much you meant to him. You could ask him to pick up every single Cecilia flower in Mondstadt and he would not hesitate to do it. It was dangerous, and he knew that, but his feelings were too strong.

“Kaeya will definitely use this for-“ “I love you” he said, interrupting you. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips. It was the first time he said the big “L” word, maybe the first time in his life.

“I love you too” you whispered, still in awe from his previous confession.

He kissed you deeper than ever before, transmitting every single feeling he had into the kiss. You meant the world to him. He was in love.

The rest of the night was filled with quiet “I love you”s and cuddles, eventually falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Kaeya

One thing that helped him understand his feelings for you was that he could just be himself.

His past forced him to wake up and put on a facade as the flirty Cavalry Captain that had every person in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger. But you were different. When he was with you, he was Kaeya. No fancy titles, no social etiquette. Just Kaeya. Not only he felt comfortable enough to be himself around you, but you also seemed to like his true self as well. And that’s how he realized.

After long days filled with commissions and some paperwork, he would come home exhausted only to find you already waiting for him. Without need for words, he would wrap his arms around your waist and hide his face on your neck after leaving a small trace of kisses.

“Long day?” you asked as you gently hugged him, untied his hair and started brushing it with your fingers. He would reply with a small “hm” before looking up and kissing your lips.

This sight could confuse an outsider, since Kaeya, with his oh so flirty social title, is usually the one calling out for you or keeping his hands on you at any moment. Kaeya is not afraid to show his love to the world, and he makes that very clear in public. Yet, this sight made him look vulnerable, and that was something he reserved just for your eyes. You made his walls fall down, you made him vulnerable in the best way possible. He felt at peace when he was with you, and that feeling used to be so foreign to him due to the secrets of his past. But here he was, in your arms as he rambled about his day without care in the world.

His attitude towards you in public never changed much, always finding his way to make you swoon and fluster you. He loves to let everyone know that he is yours and you are his. But, once the doors close behind him, he would let his guard down completely with you. He would cling to your body as he seeks for advice or talk about his worries.

“I think that it’s best to ignore Pallad from now on since he always gets-“ you started saying, but noticing how Kaeya was looking at you made you lose your trail of thoughts. “Wh- Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You make me feel better about myself” Kaeya said, snuggling closer to you. He let out a chuckle when he heard you mutter a “huh?”

“You make me feel at peace, and I haven’t felt like that in a long while”

Albedo

Relationships were kind of new to Albedo, he wasn’t certain about the right way to show affection. But one thing he was sure about was that every time you came to visit him in his research room he felt funny inside. Funny in a good way, he felt a sudden urge to hold your hand or make you smile. 

To understand this feeling more, he started doing research on couples in Mondstadt. Was he the only one that felt this way at the sight of someone he cherished? Or was this the beginning of him becoming a monster and destroying the city of freedom at last? Lucky for him, he realized that it was considered normal to smile whenever you see your s/o. 

While he was doing his research, Klee appeared holding one of her treasures. She wanted to show Albedo her newest creation, but instead she found him staring at some old couple sitting by a fountain. She thought it was a strange sight. “What are you doing?” she asked, startling him. “Research” he simply said. “On old people? Why don’t you do a research on me? I’m young! And I have treasures!” “I don’t think you can be of use in this research” he said, sighing. 

It took Klee a while to understand what was happening, but when she did she started giggling uncontrollably. Albedo just stared at her wondering what was wrong with the child. “Albedo are you in love?”

Love, such a strange concept. He read about it, and now that Klee mentioned it, he realized that it made sense. He felt funny every time he managed to make you smile or laugh, and even more when he saw the blush on your face after complimenting you. He realized that the “funny” feeling happened because he loves you. He loves when you visit him, he loves when you ask him questions about his research and when you offer to help him. He loves you.

He immediately started searching for you, he felt the sudden urge to see and tell you about this discovery. Once he found you, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. You looked beautiful, and you weren’t even trying. You just came back from a commission and your hair was messy, and he noticed that your clothes were a bit dirty too. Yet you looked mesmerizing to him. 

“Albedo! I was on my way to visit you!” You greeted him once you saw him, kissing his cheek. 

“I made a new discovery today, dear.” He said, taking your hands in his. “I discovered that I’m in love with you”

Childe

If there’s something Childe is gonna do, is spoil you to no end. Similar to Diluc, if he noticed that something caught your eye for more than 3 seconds, expect it by your doorstep soon. And don’t even try to stop him, he just won’t listen.

Since he has to go away for weeks due to his line of work, he wants to spoil you so you don’t forget him. Not that you could anyways, you always thought of him and even prayed for his safe return. When he comes back, expect little souvenirs from his travels and stories he may or may not exaggerate a tiny bit.

He loves whenever you wear things he gifted you, and loves to tease you about it. “May I know who got you that beautiful necklace dear?” he would ask with a smirk on his face. “You, Childe” “That’s right, the best for my favorite person in the world”

But his love doesn’t come in material things only, he also loves to spend time with you. There are times that he has to go away for long periods of time, and after a few weeks he starts missing you so much he just has to send someone to pick you up and bring you to him. On those occasions he makes sure to do everything he has to do in the morning so he could spend the afternoon exploring with you.

His line of work is dangerous, and you know that. There are times in which you’re exploring some ruins with him and treasure hoarders appear. In those cases he asks you to close your eyes, and only open them when he tells you to. Under no circumstance he wants you to witness this side of him he tries so much to hide.

Once it’s over, he would reach to you gently and tell you to open your eyes. When you do, the sight in front of you breaks your heart. He was alright, not a single scratch on him, but his face was filled with worry and fear. “I’m sorry” he would say, closing his eyes and taking your hand. “Why are you apologizing?” “I’m a monster” he said, not daring to look at you.

It would take you a few minutes to convince him that he actually is not a monster. Those treasure hoarders appeared out of nowhere, and threatened you. He was just protecting you. “This is what I do all the time, how are you not scared of me?” He asked. You hugged him very tight, not wanting to let go of him until every drop of fear and guilt leaves his body. “I know you would never hurt me”

He knew you were right, he could never hurt you. He may think he is a monster unworthy of your love, but he knew that he could never lay a finger on you. And as you hugged him tight in front of some random ruins you were exploring, he realized he was in love and swore to himself he would do anything to protect you.

[liltigerrose]

"Sugar Baby" pt. 3

Norman Obsorn X FemReader

Warnings: Age gap

♡◇♡◇♡

You were dropped off at your apartment after Norman took you to buy your new flats. It was such an exhausting night, that you considered leaving your makeup on when you crawled onto your bed, but you knew you’d regret it in the morning.

You sat up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom, washing off your makeup, brushing your teeth and getting changed into your comfortable PJ’s. You laid back in your bed and put Norman’s personal number into your phone and checked your text messages. Harry messaged you and asked if you made it home safe.

-What a sweetheart.- You thought before texting him back as you snuggled up in your blankets.

You didn't tell him about the shoes or the sugar baby offer. You were tempted to, but you didn’t want to go against Norman’s request. Your eyes began to droop as you were typing.

<You: Hi harry, just got home abt to go 2 bed. Hope u liked the party :) >

<Harry: I loved it. I’m rlly glad u were able 2 come and get a day off work. I miss hanging out w/ you. I guess its part of being adults and not having so much free time anymore.>

Your eyes opened up again as you read that sentence. It was true; you were never available anymore to be able to see anyone you really cared about, including Harry. Hell, you haven’t even called your mom since you got the job. You texted Harry goodnight and put your phone down and felt everything come into perspective. Maybe this sugar baby thing wasn’t such a strange idea after all. Norman had the money to burn, but you thought that being his sugar baby would feel like you were taking advantage of his money and emotions… however, he was the one to suggest it; so surely he knew you still cared, right?

You couldn’t stay on the thought any longer and passed out.

The next morning, you got ready for work. You worked for a local bakery as a cashier, which was starting off as a very small business which was why they were so desperate for your work and why you were underpaid. They promised higher pay soon, but you knew that you couldn't depend on it forever. This kind of underpay might be fit for a child that decided to start work, but not for an adult trying to make it on their own.

This morning your shift was slightly earlier than usual. It pained you to force your eyes open today. You slowly took your body out from under the covers and stumbled to the bathroom with your toothbrush and towel to do your morning routine as quickly as you could.

You quickly dressed yourself and shivered slightly. It was 6:20. Thankfully, just enough time to get to the bakery. After throwing on your coat and slipping into your work shoes, you closed the door behind you as you scrambled down the stairs and began your walk towards the bakery.

-Thank God the bakery sells coffee too,- you thought.

You got there just in time. The bakery smelled like fresh bread and muffins when you came in through the back door. They must have been just minutes away from being done.

"Thanks for coming in early today, (Y/n). Dean's still recovering from surgery, so we could really use the extra help," your boss Connor said sincerely.

"No problem. I just need a coffee and I'll be right as rain," you replied, making yourself a coffee behind the counter with the espresso machine.

You cleaned up the counter and swept the floors, waiting for the store to open at 7:00am. Your coffee was finally done and you took your time to make it to your liking. Things felt like they were calm now as the smell of the fresh pastries and fresh bread filled the building. It made you feel cozy.

7:13 rolled by and customers began to come around for their breakfast and coffee. The last person you expected to come through the quaint little doors was Norman Osborn himself. You recognized him in your peripherals by the way he walked and greeted the manager.

"Good morning, Connor. What do you have for me today?"

"Well, Norman… I have good old fashioned cruller donuts, if you like. I also put together an assorted dozen in this box," your manager said to him, turning to pick up a cute little donut box from the counter.

"Mr. Osborn…?"

Norman glanced toward your direction, at first disregarding you but when he realized it was you of all people, he greeted you warmly.

"(Y/n), I didn't know you worked here."

"I didn't know you ate here," you responded.

"Connor makes the best donuts in New York… not to mention, he's an old friend of mine. Starting a company isn't easy— I know that better than anyone— so taking some donuts and coffee is the least I can do for this place." Norman took the box in his hands and smiled at Connor, who was putting pastries in the display case.

"Never thought you were a donut lover. I honestly didn't think you liked sweet things at all."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he said with a little smirk stretched on his left cheek.

He brought the box of donuts up to the counter and asked for a black coffee with two sugars. Before you even started on making coffee for him, he pulled out his wallet and took the exact amount of money out for the order, plus a twenty dollar bill.

With having finished making his coffee, you brought it over. "I normally don't work this early. Normally I start at 8. Connor just really needed someone this morning so I came."

"You're a hardworker, darling. I respect that," he commented while he slowly took the coffee from your hands, lightly brushing his hand over your fingers.

-It's still early February and it's freezing out, how is he so warm?- you thought.

You pulled your hand away and smiled politely. "Your total is eighteen–"

"Eighteen dollars and fifty cents. Yes, I know. Here you are." He handed over the money.

You counted the money and stopped him. "Hey, you accidentally gave me a twenty, Mr. Osborn."

"Accidentally? That's for you, darling."

"Oh, Mr. Osborn, I cant take this. Its very sweet of you though."

As you handed the twenty back, he softly grabbed your hand. "For the last time, call me Norman, (Y/n). You're a good friend of mine and that is something to be recognised." With that he gently pushed your hand back to you.

"Yes sir. If you say so, Norman."

"Anyway, i should be getting to work. It was really nice to see you darling."

-Why does that nickname make me so happy coming from him?- you thought.

Norman left the bakery with his food and smiled at you before shaking hands with your boss and leaving. You glanced over at Connor, thinking maybe he would ask about the extra twenty, but he only smiled at you.

"Tips are the best part!" Connor said.

Maybe... Maybe you should give Norman a call after work. The good thing about starting early today, was that your shift ended earlier.

At 12:30, you hung up your apron and clocked out, immediately going to get your bag with your phone in it. When you put the bag over your shoulder, nerves got the better of you. It couldn't hurt to try... but what if you got sucked into something you really didn't like?

You stood outside with an anxious hand reaching into your bag. Come on, this was Harry's father, he wasn't going to force you into anything you didn't want. Norman respected you and your friendship with Harry, he wouldn't try anything to hurt that.

You looked down at your cell phone with Norman's name lit up on the screen, your finger about to press the call button. What if he's busy right now? Well, you guessed it wouldn't actually matter because it would go to voicemail if he was busy, which you didn't mind at all. Finally, with the hope of going to voicemail in mind, you pushed the call button.

The phone rang, building anticipation.

"Please don't pick up."

As the phone continued to ring, you grew more hopeful. That is, until you hear his voice on the other side.

"Hello?"

"Oh! H-Hi."

"Who is this?" He asked, almost a little annoyed —maybe because you didnt state your name immediately.

"Hi Norman, uhh this is (Y/n)."

His voice seemed a lot more relaxed this time, and you could hear him smiling. "Hello, (Y/n). What can I do for you?"

"I didn't think you were actually... going to pick up. I just kinda wanted to talk about your... ahem, offer. If you're still interested."

"Right, my offer. I think it'll be a good idea to talk about it over dinner tonight. Unless you're busy, of course. There's no rush to do it if tonight doesn't work for you, darling."

"No! I mean, yes! Uhh tonight is perfect, sir. Anyway, bye–"

"Heh, aren't you forgetting something?" He chuckled. "I'll pick you up at 7:00, is that alright?"

"Yeah, it sounds great. I don't mean to rush the call but I have a class at 1:15. I should get going. I'll see you soon, Norman!"

"Alright. Remember to always take notes. I'll see you tonight, Darling."

He hung up the phone and you covered your mouth in disbelief of what you just did, and by the fact he called you darling again. This man might be the death of you if keeps calling you Darling.

[pastxlscorp]

Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.3)

Chapter III: Abidance

✿ Word Count: 3.2k

✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader

✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Hakkai POV, Y/N POV, Mitsuya POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, slight angst

Awakening from his slumber, he found that the woman was no longer taking up space in his bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, only to, unfortunately, see a message from an unknown number on his phone saying “Text me when you’re free ;)” Ignoring the text, he found he had a message from Hakkai and remembered that he had abandoned him to sleep with that damn woman. However, Hakkai didn’t confront him about it, but instead acted as if nothing happened.

🗨️ Hakkai: Is the party still on for today? (Sent 2:00am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t feeling my best, I should have let you know. (Sent 10:00am)

🗨️ Hakkai: No hard feelings. Ya feeling better now Taka-chan? (Sent 10:01am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Not really, but it’ll pass. What’d you end up doing yesterday after I left? (Sent 10:02am)

Picking up on the subtle curiosity of Mitsuya’s text, it became clear to Hakkai that he did see him with you. As much as he admired Mitsuya, the anger building inside of him got the best of him. Therefore, in response, he chose a reply that he knew would get Mitsuya boiling.

🗨️ Hakkai: Caught Y/N outside of your class, had a wonderful lunch with her! She’s so nice, Taka-chan! Why are ya so mean to her? (Sent 10:04am)

Vigorous fingers typed in reply.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Why the fuck were you hanging around that slut? She’s just gonna try and get in your pants. What did she say to you? (Sent 10:04am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Hakkai? Hello? (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Sorry Taka-chan, I’m back. She didn’t say nuthin bad, actually she was so sweet. She saw I was alone and we both had some tea together back at her place. Ended up sleeping over, I’m still here actually! (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: BACK AT HER PLACE? I told you, she’s just trying to get in your pants and you let her win! I can’t believe you let a whore like her win you over, Hakkai! Where the fuck is your brain? She probably was enjoying every minute of your sorry ass. (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Who said we slept together, Taka? (Sent 10:05am)

Silence enveloped the room.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Sorry… I just assumed that’s what you meant by sleeping over. (Sent 10:07am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Awh, it’s okie Taka, I know you were only looking out for me. (Sent 10:07am)

Absolutely, looking out for Hakkai. That’s what this was, that’s what he was doing. There couldn’t have been any other reason why he was so upset at the thought of you sleeping together. He was just being a good friend.

-----

┃ “Y/N!” the hoarse voice spoke to you, feeling the smooth cloth of his jacket pressed against your face as you bumped into him.

You looked up only to recognize Hakkai, kind thoughts flooding your mind, diminishing your anger stemming from your interaction with Mitsuya moments before. He grinned at you giddily, eyes relaxing any sort of tension left in your body. You slowly began to forget why you were mad and allowed yourself to indulge in his presence.

┃ “Good afternoon Hakkai! Waiting for Mitsuya?”

┃ “Mhm, you takin’ Designer 101 too, right?”

┃ “Yup! How come you aren’t taking it? You’re very fashionable, y’know?”

┃ “You’re too kind,” He giggled, his grin beginning to somehow grow wider on his cheeks as he raised his hand to pat your head.

┃ “I’m serious! Why don’t you join the class? It’s not too late, the second semester is about to start!” You eagerly pushed on, rejoicing in the positive energy he emitted.

┃ “ ‘m not really into making clothes, just showing them off...” He let out a hefty chuckle before getting cut off by you.

┃ “You don’t have to be good at making them! Some students choose to learn how to stylize different clothing and patterns, it’s all about the latest trends.”

┃ “Really?” He went silent for a few moments, smile morphing into a straight line as he contemplated your words carefully. Not to fret, as his smile quickly returned as he said: “Well then, might have to ask Taka-chan to help me sign up!”

You both shared a laugh and began to discuss the enrollment process in order for Hakkai to join the class-- if he were to drop another class, what class would he drop, or would he simply add it to his current schedule? While your conversation was nothing more than an innocent developing friendship, unbeknownst to you, Mitsuya had witnessed it all and declared it once more another betrayal. You were such a slut, flirting with anyone and everyone. Irrationality began to consume him-- instead of seeing your interaction with Hakkai for what it truly was, a genuine developing friendship, his brain refused to comprehend your behavior with other men. He never got to the level of comfortability you had with Takemichi, and he had lost the sense of ease you had with him to Hakkai and god, god did it piss him off. Unfortunately for that kohai, she was just another doll for him to play with just until he could get your attention again. Even a single drop of your attention, your attachment, it was enough to drive him for weeks just to be able to be near you again. Your kind words squeezing his heart tighter and tighter the more you spoke, your laughter ringing in his ears at a corny joke he told you during club meetings, it enveloped him into infatuation which later developed into a larger feeling. Such a large feeling over the progressing months that when he began bullying you, when your lack of presence and absences during meetings began to grow, an emptiness began to root in his heart, waiting for you to touch it once more and let it grow.

He could go on and on listing things about you-- the way he loved your sense of fashion, the way he loved your sense of humor, your compassion to helping others, your intellect that allowed you to read everyone like a book, everyone except him. Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t hate you? Oh, but that jealousy, the first time he’d admit that it was jealousy, it gripped him so tightly around his neck that it felt suffocating. Every shove, every clasp of your hand, your wrist, your chain, your chain, it made his heart shutter seeing that dead watery look in your eye, but your attention was like a drug that he just had to keep getting more of. It would never be enough to satisfy him, not until he could call you his and you would call him yours. He pitied using them, he really did, but he needed someone to satiate his needs. He was a womanizer, after all-- if one left he would just charm another into his bed. They all had high respect for Mitsuya, his intellect, his charm, his skill, and his kindness. Yet no matter how hard he tried, all those women, they were never you and they could never try and be you. He found that he no longer sought sex for his own pleasure anymore, but for your own, pretending so desperately that the one trembling out of pleasure beneath him was you. Imagining, no, fantasizing that he was making you happy and leaving you satisfied.

Upon seeing your interaction, he quickly left with his kohai for their own exchange, leaving Hakkai unfortunately confused as he waved you goodbye, patiently waiting for his friend to meet him. You were still on campus because you had taken additional extracurricular activities to build up your transcript to make up for your absences in Mitsuya’s Home-economics club. At first, you attempted to make it through the club meetings but he made every single one as unbearable as possible. The second semester, could it come any sooner? Hakkai, too focused on organizing his schedule with you previously, had failed to notice Mitsuya leaving with a woman. He waited, he waited, and he waited, coming to a good hour until he realized Mitsuya wouldn’t have left him waiting for this long without a heads up. He looked at his phone, expecting some sort of contact-- a phone call, a message, anything. All that awaited him was several unread messages from group chats and friends, none of them from Taka-chan. He sighed, placing his phone away just as he noticed your presence once more, planting a fake smile on his face to disguise his obvious disappointment. Unfortunately for him, his smile only instantly alerted you something was wrong.

┃ “Hakkai? Why are you still here, weren’t you supposed to be meeting Mitsuya?”

┃ His phony smile stood in place as tears began to fill his eyes. He croaked: “T-taka-chan left me. Do you think he’s mad at me for sumthin’, Y/N? I don’t ‘member doin’ anything.”

You instantly rushed over to comfort him, witnessing what appeared to be an intimidating giant become undone into a fragile teddy bear at the thought he had upset his best friend. Your disdain only kept growing for Mitsuya, first it was his lack of maturity during class, and now he had abandoned his best friend for whatever reason it was. Hakkai was a sweetheart, you couldn’t imagine what he may have done to upset someone. Therefore, you came to the conclusion Mitsuya had thrown a tantrum of sorts and took it out on him. It irked you, however, Mitsuya always remained respectful and loving to his best friend in addition to Yasuda-san, so you couldn’t help but raise your brow wondering what got him so upset for him to entirely ditch his friend. Pushing those thoughts aside, you placed all of your focus on bringing a smile back to Hakkai’s face, gently rubbing his back and placing your forehead against his temple as he crouched over in defeat. You desperately attempted to think of anything to cheer him up.

┃ “Ah, how about some tea?”

┃ “...Tea?”

┃ “Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you like and I want to calm you down so-”

┃ “Tea sounds good.” He said softly, a small smile returning to his face.

You escorted Hakkai comfortably back to your dorm, located on the east wing of the campus. Women and men could go to each other’s dorms, they just had gender-separated wings because it was just easier to contain the chaos if everyone was allowed to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. The boys had their dormitory on the west side, thus you noticeably got some glances as you strolled with Hakkai. Mitsuya was always surrounded by Hakkai and Yasuda-san, so obviously most of your classmates were shocked to see you hanging out with his right-hand man. Were you both sleeping together? Ooh what a scandal (not). Although you didn’t mind the glanes too much, Hakkai on the other hand made sure to shoot down them all with a nasty side glare, quickly causing them to turn their cheek. It was a cute sight after all, seeing how you subconsciously had reached for his hand and began to rub gentle circles on it in order to ease him, which succeeded in doing so. Once you arrived at your dorm, you opened the door and gave him a show of jazz hands as you toured him around your dorm. Your dorm wasn’t the largest compared to his and Mitsuya’s dorm, which made him realize the privilege of not having a financially aided dorm. Your queen bed comfortably rested on the right side of the room, covered with a curtain and fairy lights on the wall behind it. Your desk was not too far away, maybe a good 15 feet across your bed, not too messy but not too neat. It was obvious you were working on something, as there were papers still out and scattered but the rest of the desk had the pens, pencils, and stapled papers sorted in a clean pile. Your pinboard was half-covered with your calendar, cluttered with small sticker reminders while the other half was your schedule, nicely decorated with washi tape sticking it to the board. Next to your bed was a wooden closet and you led him into the cramped kitchen that made him gasp, seeing how you make such a tight space so comfortable and presentable. You had a small glass coffee table in the middle, a small fridge cramped in the kitchen underneath a cupboard and next to a cabinet holding the sink on top. Next to that was a stove with a microwave on top, both color-coordinated black, contrasting the white of the room. You guided him over to the table and motioned for him to sit and he obediently did. Walking over to the countertop holding an old-school kettle, you used it to strain and brew the tea. Gleefully, you dropped a few ice cubes in his glass and carefully poured his tea and then your own, sitting across from him at the table. He took a sip of the tea you had placed in front of him, smiling not at the delightful taste but the awaiting face you had fixated, putting your hands under your chin waiting for a response.

┃ “This tea is delightful, thank you Y/N.” He said warmly and you basked in his praise.

┃ “Ah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t… really get visitors. It’s nice to have someone over.” You replied, your face beginning to glow a light pink as your lips formed into a slight frown, embarrassed to admit how you had no friends.

┃ “Mm, I should be the one thankin’ you,” The softness in his voice made your crouched posture fix itself as you looked up to him. “You made me sum tea, opened me to your home, all ‘cuz I was sad and overthinkin’. You ain’t hafta do that, but you did anyway. I appreciate ya!” His iconic grin was now back where it belonged as his eyes glazed over you in pure adoration. You smiled in return, both returning to take a sip of your tea.

Hours passed and he was still at your house, you both gossiping and talking like old friends. You discussed your classmates, praising them and disapproving of the behavior of others. He began to confide in you about what he witnessed during his time as the second-division’s vice captain. You eagerly listened to him as he described to you his tales with his brother and his amazing sister Yuzuha, anything and everything was up for debate. At least, almost everything. Despite being the main reason he was so upset, you and Hakkai had not discussed Mitsuya’s treatment of you. He was mentioned in a few gang stories, but it seemed as if Hakkai was opting out of speaking about him out of respect for you. However, his head began to slump, implying he was tired. You grabbed your phone, which had been placed upside down on the coffee table, and looked at the time and saw it was well past midnight. You leaned over to rub Hakkai’s shoulder and you gasped when his head turned back upright, alert as if he just remembered something. Drunk on drowsiness, he began to speak:

┃ “Mmh, y’know Mitsuya used to talk about you a lot. Always went on about this pretty girl who was awfully sweet, really smart…” He trailed off, fighting off the sleep that clung desperately to his eyelids. “He never gave me a name but after club meetings when I woulds wait for him, he would tell me about his conversations. I always saw him looking at ya. What did ya do to make him so pissed off?” Although he had no malicious-intent in his questioning, it was enough to cause goosebumps all over your body.

┃ “I didn’t do anything, ‘kai. Really, nothing different happened that day. All of the sudden, the next day during his club he humiliated me in front of everyone and then made me stay after hours to yell at me even more.” You went silent for a moment, before your curiosity got the best of you and you questioned: “He used to talk about me? Are you sure?”

┃ Ignoring your question, he replied to your initial response. “You didn’t do anythin’ different at all that day?”

┃ You contemplated his question carefully, before realizing the one event that was an outlier to the rest. “I was waiting for my friend outside campus gates that day. He offered to wait with me but I insisted he didn’t, mainly because my friend had said Mitsuya wasn’t very fond of him so it was better if he didn’t see him.”

┃ “Who’s the friend?”

┃ “Hanagaki Takemichi.”

┃ The tired man in front of you took a full minute to process your sentence before bursting out and crying of laughter a few moments later. You looked at him, pure confusion coating your body as he continued to sob. Finally, after a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and sat back up, gleaming at you. “Well that’s your problem, Mitsuya fucking hates Takemichy. Probably spied on ya because he was worried, saw Takemichy, and boom-- he got jealous AHAHA!” He went back to crying of laughter, leaving you a few moments to yourself to process his words.

It was embarrassing to admit how Hakkai was half-asleep in front of you and somehow managed to put together your puzzle of confusion together months after said incident had happened, in under 20 minutes. However, you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing with his theory. Suddenly, Hakkai stopped laughing and looked up at you, all serious.

┃ “Now wait… that’s not funny! He’s been pushing ya around all the time just cuz he’s jealous of you being with other guys?! That’s fucked up! ‘M gonna beat his ass, Y/N! Just for you!”

You now began laughing, taking Hakkai’s hand in yours over the glass countertop and tapping it gently.

┃ “That won’t be necessary, ‘kai. How about we come up with a solution?”

┃ “My solution is beating his a-”

┃ “A non-physical solution.”

┃ He went silent for a few moments, looking away from you to the window to think. You could tell he thought of something when a smirk began to plaster itself on his face. “How about we test our theory?”

┃ “Elaborate.”

┃ “If that pain in my ass is done with whatever it is he’s doing, there was supposta be a party tomorrow. Not at our dorm, but our friend’s. You might have heard of him, Manjiro Sano?”

You responded with silence.

┃ “Mikey. The Invincible Mikey.”

┃ “Not ringing any bells.”

┃ “Brother of Emma Sano. Brother of Izana.”

┃ “Emma Sano is so nice!”

┃ “Captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang, Y/N.”

┃ “Oh.”

┃ “Point is, he’s having a party tomorrow. We could get some revenge, I bring you as my date~”

┃ “Won’t that make him angri-

┃ “That’s what revenge is.”

┃ “Why don’t I just talk with him?”

┃ “Has he tried talking to you?”

┃ “...no.”

┃ “I rest my case.”

Silence enveloped the room once more. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was quite a comfortable silence actually as he patiently awaited your response and allowed you to process and think.

┃ “When is the party exactly?”

✿ tags: @haiq-trash @blackmysticalsimp @the2ndl @bren-heron @delicatejudgecopcowboy @skiwalkers

✿ a.n. // First of all, thank you so much for 102 followers <3 I appreciate the support being given to me! I would like to address one thing, however, please don't rush me to write! I've gotten very kind messages of support but others have been demanding more of me and it's important to remember that I have classes, chores, a social life, and many other things happening. I love writing but rushing me makes it unenjoyable and it won't be my best work. My goal for this ongoing fanfic is to post weekly. Just a little ted-talk there, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter though! I had such a fun time writing it :)

[comfortbucky]

requests? did someone say requests??😌

fluffy headcanon, mafia boss!bucky comes home after being away for a week or so and it’s just a cute ass reunion between the reader & him with lots of kisses & hugs n shit

or(take your pick) :)

one shot, where john walker is really rude to reader(insults her & shit), but she stands up for herself. they(her & john) get into a fight & bucky finds out by surprisingly swinging by her apartment. of course bucky is pissed, but he tends to her wounds. then for some stupid reason, john shows up at readers apartment & bucky loses it. but it ends in bucky admitting his feelings to reader n some fluff 😩

hope you find motivation for at least one of these:😚

hi yes hehe i did say requests🙈

i’m a sucker for tfatws!bucky so- (and john walker is a rat bastard🤣 so lemme go off)

𝗶 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!avenger!reader

warnings: john walker (grr), violence! and descriptions of bloody injuries

A/N: also! i sort of changed the prompt i hope u don’t mind too much🥺 // this oneshot will not be taking place during the canon timeline btw but inspired by the events/themes of tfatws

word count: 1.5 k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

Y/N sighed, as she plopped onto the couch after a long day. She, Bucky, and Sam had spent the whole day researching the Flagsmashers to try and track them down. It took all day, partially because Bucky needed a little extra help with learning how to use his laptop. She chuckled at the memory, grabbing the remote to turn her TV on. Suddenly, a loud, aggressive, knock interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and leaned her head on the back of her couch, taking a moment to debate leaving her very comfortable spot, before getting up to answer the door. Y/N knew that she probably should have peeked through her peephole before answering, but she wanted to return to the comfort of her couch as soon as possible. She opened it to see none other than John Walker, greeting her with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes.

“What are you doing here, John? How the hell did you even get my address?”

“All government property has GPS tracking in it," he said, pointing to her laptop on the kitchen table behind her. She turned and frowned as he continued. "Look, you need us, me and Battlestar, to take down Karli.” She looked back at John, laughing at Lemar’s alias.

“No way I’m letting someone who goes by Battlestar help me out.” He glared at her comment. “Or you, a Captain America wannabe.”

John took an aggressive step closer, way too close for Y/N’s comfort, as he replied. “I am Captain America, whether you like it or not.”

"You'll never be Captain America," she snapped back. "You don't have what it takes." He glared at her and put his face right in front of hers.

"How would you know? You're a pathetic excuse for a soldier," he spat and Y/N grimaced at John's spit landing on her cheeks. He looked at her, his eyes examining her body. She hated every second of it, his stare making her feel grimy all over, like she immediately needed a shower. “Who’d you fuck to get into the Avengers anyways? Bet it was Steve.”

John’s comment was immediately followed by Y/N’s fist connecting with his cheek, forcing him to stagger back into the hall. She’d heard concerns about her abilities as an Avenger before, calling her weak, fragile, a bitch, etc. But she knew they almost always came from misogynistic men, and was able to shrug their comments off because she knew that she could easily beat all of them to a pulp, no problem. But thinking that she would sleep her way into becoming an Avenger crossed a line. Especially someone she respected and had admired as much as Steve.

John held his hand to his cheek, where he’d been hit, and looked up to make eye contact with Y/N. He smiled and before stating in a condescending tone, “That was cute.” John kicked her in the stomach, launching her onto the floor of her apartment. As she groaned and started to get up, John chuckled and kicked her down before she got to her knees. He went to kick her again when she rolled away, dodging his kick and standing up quickly, panting as she responded.

“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

She kicked her leg up to deliver a roundhouse kick to John’s face, spinning around to punch his nose. He stumbled a couple steps back, regaining his balance before swinging a punch towards Y/N. She caught his fist before it hit her and John took the opportunity to use his free hand to grab his shoulder and knee her in the stomach. She gasped, getting the wind knocked out of her. He then threw her into a shelf, shattering several photo frames on the ground. She landed on her stomach, attempting to get up by pushing her self up on her forearms. Y/N felt a warm liquid on her cheek and touched it, pulling it away from her face to see her fingertips covered in blood.

“Asshole,” she mumbled, before standing up to continue fighting.

Several moments ago, Bucky had made the decision to show up at Y/N’s apartment. He pressed some random keys on his computer, and now there was an error message that wouldn’t go away on his screen. Stubbornly, he tried to fix it on his own but ended up making it worse. He sighed in defeat, closing his laptop shut and tucking it under his arm before heading over towards her apartment. Bucky was just down the hall when he heard the sound of glass shattering, his leisurely stroll turning into a sprint to Y/N’s door.

Bucky arrived to see you pinned up against a wall with John’s hand around ur throat. Your hands were desperately clawing at John’s, attempting to free yourself from his grasp. Fear and terror consumed him before a wave of fury took over. Immediately, Bucky launched into action, dropping his laptop in the process. He ripped John away from you, tossing him on the ground. Bucky moved to hover over John, punching him repeatedly in the face. Y/N finally caught her breath and crawled over to Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop. He kept his eyes on John’s bloody and bruised face, lowering his fist.

“Touch her again, and I’ll kill you,” he snarled, releasing John from his grasp.

John rolled over, took a moment to catch his breath. Bucky was standing, fists still clenched by his sides, as he watched John get up and exit Y/N’s apartment without another word.

He closed the door behind him and immediately spun around to see Y/N struggling to get up, attempting to push up from one of her knees. Bucky instantly rushed to her side, helping her to her feet. He grabbed one of her hands in his own and placed his other hand on the small of her back, as he guided her to the couch. He examined her and felt a pain in his chest, looking at her black eye, cut cheek, and her bruised neck outlined with John’s handprint. Without saying a word, he stood up and returned with a first-aid kit from her bathroom. He sat back down and immediately started to tend to her wounds. As Bucky started to disinfect the cut on her cheek, he spoke.

“That was stupid of you,” he mumbled, gently dabbing antiseptic ointment on her cut. It was a drastic contrast from his behavior only minutes ago, nearly ready to murder John. He took a bandaid from the kit and delicately placed it on her cheek. Bucky then moved his hand to assess her black eye, his thumb softly grazing a soft patch of skin under her eye. She frowned and lightly pushed his hand away.

“I would’ve been fine on my own, you know.”

“Sit still so I can take a look at your bruise.” He responded gruffly, lifting his hand and attempting to look at her bruised eye again. She shoved his hand away, this time more aggressively, and tried to stand up.

“Just leave me alone,” Y/N said, wincing and clutching her abdomen in pain, causing Bucky to grab her waist and slowly lower her back down onto the couch. Fucking John Walker.

“Y/N.”

She pulled his hands off her and reluctantly sat down to face him.

“You don’t need to defend me, Bucky,” she spoke, Bucky sensing anger in her voice. “I’m not some weak, helpless civilian. I’m a god damn Avenger for christ sake!” As Y/N shouted, her voice wavered and her eyes started to well up with tears.

Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and Bucky sat with his hands resting on his lap. Although she was speaking to Bucky, she felt like she was more-so trying to convince herself of what she was saying.

“I know,” he said calmly, but with a stern tone, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

“Okay, so leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not!”

“Because I fuckin’ care about you!” Bucky shouted, causing Y/N’s face to immediately soften.

Her arms dropped to rest in her lap and she froze as Bucky softly raised his hand to cup her cheek, captivated by his touch. He cautiously moved, worried she would push his hand away again, but she didn’t. His thumb gently caressed her non-cut cheek and he pulled her face close to his. She felt his breaths fan her face as he spoke.

“I know you’re one of the strongest Avengers,” he started. “And I know you could kick John’s ass any day of the week. But I care so much about you and I need you to be okay.” Bucky’s lips hovered over Y/N’s, lightly brushing against hers.

“I need you, Y/N.”

She responded by crashing her lips onto his, moving her hands to hold his face closer to hers. The kiss was full of passion, love, and unspoken feelings. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Y/N smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.

“I care about you too, Buck.”

Bucky had never seen such a bright light in his 106 years of living.

[moodymelanist]

One Thousand Followers Celebration

okay I’m honestly kind of shook that we’re even here but thank you to everyone who’s a part of our little corner of the fandom. I love you all so so much and I’m so happy to be here ❤️ most people requested something cute and fluffy so here’s Cassian being drunk and and Nesta comes to get him. I hope you all enjoy!! 💘💘💘

feel free to read it on AO3 here too!

word count: 2975

—————

Nesta was halfway through her latest read when her phone started buzzing incessantly. It was just getting to the good part, where the main couple started to realize maybe there was something more between them than burning hatred, and she didn’t want to put it down. Frankly, it reminded her of her own love story, but she’d never admit that to anyone out loud.

She was forced to look away when her phone was vibrating so constantly with texts she thought someone was calling her. Sighing, she reached for her phone, unlocking it only to see her husband had sent her almost twenty messages.

Cassian, 11:52 PM

Nesta

Nes

I love yiu sooooo muche

Youe so pretty

I weish u were here

everyons laufghint at me but i miss u

wyd

nesssssssssss

are u ignoringme for a book agwain

:(

Swethearft<3

did i tell u i luv u td

wait its ok I ddid

i want a kiss when i see u ok

The remaining messages were a jumble of Spanish and English words mixed together, and while she had a working knowledge of Spanish, she didn’t know it well enough to even attempt to decipher what he was trying to tell her. Still, she couldn’t help but smile as she read through them all, affection blooming in her chest for her favorite person in the world.

Cassian, Rhys, and Azriel had gone out to their favorite bar for guys night, and Cassian was clearly drunk off his ass. It was really hard to keep a straight face with him normally, but when he was drunk, she thought it was one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen.

Nesta, 12:01 AM

I love you too, you big goofball

I’ll give you a kiss and a hug when I see you how’s that

Her phone was ringing within seconds, a picture of Cassian filling her screen before she answered.

“Hello?” she said, marking her page with a bookmark before closing it.

“Nesta!” Cassian exclaimed. She had to pull her phone from her ear for a moment, but she smiled again anyways.

“Hi, Cassian,” she replied, trying not to laugh. He was just so cute. “Are you having a good time?”

“Leave me alone, I’m talking to my wife,” he said, his voice sounding slightly further away. He must have been talking to Rhys or Azriel, but the way referred to her made her want to melt. They’d been together for years and married for just over one, but it still sent a thrill through her to hear him claim her out loud.

“Nes?” he said, his voice back to normal volume.

“I’m here,” she said, getting off the bed to begin looking for her shoes. He normally called her and started getting ridiculously affectionate when it was getting close for him to come home, so it was only a matter of time before he asked her to come get him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Looking for my shoes,” she replied, spotting her boots on the floor. Leaning her phone against her ear, she bent down and put them on over her leggings before walking back to her dresser.

“Are you coming to find me?” he asked. She couldn’t help but smile at how excited he sounded by the prospect.

“Yes, baby.” Nesta hit speaker and put the phone down on their dresser as she took off the oversized shirt that she’d borrowed from him, slid a sports bra on, and put on a plain tee shirt over it.

“Oh thank God,” he said, and then dropped his voice to a loud whisper. “You’re much more fun than the dumbasses I’m with.”

She’d opened her mouth to reply, but then Cassian began talking to someone else nearby. “Tarquin! Fancy seeing you here! Are you still mad about your windows? Nes, I gotta go. Love you.”

It was a cool September evening, so Nesta grabbed a denim jacket before throwing her hair up into a bun and leaving their apartment. Once she got to her car, it was a short fifteen minutes to get to The Sidra. Thankfully there was ample street parking around the corner, and the bouncer let her in with a quick flash of her ID.

Nesta walked inside, spotting her husband and his friends immediately. They took up a ridiculous amount of space in one of the booths, and she couldn’t resist smiling as Cassian visibly brightened by her appearance.

“Nesta!” he shouted, grinning widely as she got closer. So much for subtlety, she supposed. She offered repeated apologies as she walked over to where he was sitting, but thankfully most of the people there seemed to think his behavior was too cute to be a serious nuisance.

Once she was next to the side of the booth he was sitting on, he pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his muscular arms around her waist and laying his head on her chest.

“Cassian,” she said at a normal volume, endlessly amused as he snuggled into her. She leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head before turning to greet Rhys and Azriel, both of whom looked seconds away from breaking out laughing.

“Don’t you dare,” she told them, tightening her arms around Cassian as she gave his friends a look. They both hold their hands up in surrender, Azriel raising his beer at her before turning back to Rhys.

“I missed you,” Cassian said against her chest, his voice muffled. “So much.”

“Every minute without you was excruciating,” Nesta said, playing along. He looked up at her with a pout.

“Stop teasing me,” he told her. He was frowning slightly now. “I did miss you a lot, you know.”

“I’m sorry. You’re just so cute like this, it’s hard not to tease you a little bit.”

“Not as cute as you.” Cassian smiled up at her, pleased with himself. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes good-naturedly and let him tug her into his lap.

“Sorry to crash your guys’ night,” she said to Rhys and Azriel now that she was facing them.

“He’s not as much fun when he gets like this anyway,” Azriel replied, chuckling. “In his old age, he’s turned into a sappy drunk.”

“Hey! We’re the same age!” Cassian protested from behind her, tightening his grip around her waist. Azriel and Cassian had both turned thirty earlier this year, while Rhys’ birthday wasn’t until November. Nesta had turned twenty-eight back in April.

“Good thing I like sappy drunks,” she said, twisting around to face him. He gave his friends a smug look as she pressed a kiss to his warm cheek, his stubble scratching her face in a way she loved.

“You two are the worst,” Rhys groaned.

“Like you and my sister are any better,” Nesta shot back as she turned around. Feyre and Rhys had been together since their college days and had tied the knot once they’d both graduated.

“Speaking of her, I’d love to get back home to her,” he replied. He pulled out his phone and began texting, and Nesta guessed he was asking if she was still awake.

“I guess that’s it then, huh?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow at Nesta.

“I’m sure Gwyn is dying to see you too,” she teased, smiling softly at him. She and Emerie had colluded with Cassian and Rhys to set the pair up on a blind date last year, and everyone had been thrilled when they’d agreed to keep seeing each other.

“She has a performance tomorrow, so she’s probably already asleep,” Azriel answered, raising a hand to catch the closest server’s attention.

“I told you my wife was hot as fuck,” Cassian said suddenly, shifting to point wildly at Nesta as their server – a young woman named Nuala – came by to bring them the check.

“I’m thrilled,” she replied dryly, raising an eyebrow as she looked at Nesta. “He hasn’t shut up about you for the last half an hour, you know. Thank God he wasn’t making you up.”

“Thanks,” Nesta said, her lips twitching from trying to hold in her laughter. Rhys put down his card to pay for all of them, waving off Cassian and Azriel’s attempts to give him money for their share of the check. Within a few minutes, the four of them were getting out of their booth and beginning the walk to the exit.

Cassian immediately went for Nesta’s hand, intertwining their fingers before bringing their hands to his mouth so he could kiss the back of hers.

“That is so unhygienic,” she said, exasperated. “I haven’t washed my hands since I left our place.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said, grinning at her. He kissed the back of her hand one more time before lowering their hands to swing them between the two of them as they kept walking.

“Who’s that guy glaring at you?” Nesta asked, noticing a tall Black guy staring Cassian down from a booth near the door. He had silver curls that stood out brightly against his dark skin, but he couldn’t have been much older than any of them. It had to have been natural, since his eyebrows and lashes were the same color.

“Oh, that’s Tarquin,” he replied, waving at Tarquin with a sheepish grin from where they stood. Tarquin flipped him off before turning back to his companions, who both shared the same dark skin and silvery hair.

“Why is he glaring at you? Do I need to talk to him?” Nesta asked, frowning. She was the only one allowed to glare at her husband like that.

“No sweetheart, it’s fine,” Cassian replied, laughing as they walked by the table. “It’s our inside joke. He threw a party senior year of college and I might have gotten drunk and broken a few windows in his house.”

“You what? Cassian, that’s not an inside joke.”

“It’s fine, Nes. I paid him back for it, but his parents were pissed. I’m banned from his neighborhood, actually.”

“That is not fine.”

“I might be drunk, but I know when I’m right,” Cassian said, just before walking right into the door. Azriel had accidentally let it swing behind him and Cassian hadn’t grabbed it in time, and it got him right in the face.

Nesta burst out laughing before she clapped her free hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. Are you okay?”

“The love of my life just laughed at my pain,” he whined, yanking open the door. Azriel and Rhys were absolutely losing it on the other side, making it hard for Nesta to keep her composure in solidarity with Cassian.

“Let me see it,” she said once they were outside. Cassian had pressed his hand to the side of his face, but Nesta got him to move it with her free one. His cheek was red from the impact, but she was sure it’d be fine with some ice once they got back to their place.

“It’s not so bad,” she reassured him. It was hard to keep a straight face with his friends – mostly Rhys – still howling in the background, but she got on her toes to give him a kiss on his face.

“It still hurts,” he said, pouting at her. “Can I get another kiss?”

“You big baby,” she said, but she leaned in and kissed his cheek again. “That’s all you’re getting. When we get home, I’m putting ice on that.”

“I love it when you boss me around,” he said dreamily, letting her tug him past his friends. “It does things to me.”

“Please take him home,” Rhys called from behind them. Nesta flipped him off before Cassian could, earning another wide grin from him as they walked towards her car.

“Thanks for the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Azriel added, both of their laughter fading the farther Nesta and Cassian walked.

“They’re so mean,” Cassian grumbled as she dug into her pocket for the keys.

“You want me to yell at them? Hurt their feelings a little?” she offered, unlocking the doors.

“No,” he said, pouting again. He got into the passenger seat as Nesta walked around to the driver’s side, and he immediately reached for her hand once she sat down.

“I’d do it if you wanted me to,” she told him, shooting him an amused look before starting the car.

“Maybe a real kiss would make me feel better,” he suggested, leaning towards her and puckering his lips.

Nesta leaned in and brushed her lips against his, but he wasn’t having it. He cupped the back of her head as he deepened their kiss, warming her up inside from the cool September air.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Nesta said, pulling away even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. He huffed and pouted but thankfully put his seatbelt on.

It was a quick ride back to their building, and thankfully Cassian managed not to walk into any more doors on their way upstairs. He wrapped his arm around her as they got off the elevator, which Nesta thought was as much for balance as it was to hold her close.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” he said once they were back in their apartment. He immediately walked into the bedroom and flopped on their bed, somehow managing not to knock anything over or hit Nesta’s book.

“You’re welcome,” Nesta said back, taking the time to take off her jacket and shoes before walking to the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas. She wrapped it in a paper towel before coming to lay next to him, taking down her bun so that her hair was down around her.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he whispered, turning to look at her. His eyes lit up when he noticed her hair was down, and he reached over to play with it. She handed him the peas instead, making sure he pressed them to the side of his face.

“I thought I knew all your secrets,” she whispered back, smiling softly as she indulged him. She loved that she was the one who got to see him like this, that she was the first person he saw in the mornings and the last person he saw when he closed his eyes at night.

“You do,” he confirmed, pulling the peas away to smile at her. She gave him a disapproving look and he quickly put them back before continuing. “I love nights like these.”

“Why’s that?” she asked. She reached out to brush some of his loose waves away from his face so they didn’t get in the way of the peas.

“I never thought I would be as happy as I am right now,” Cassian said seriously. His other eye was blocked from the position of the peas, so Nesta just held the gaze of the one she could see as he moved his hand to cup her face.

Sometimes he would say things like this that made her feel like her heart was going to burst from how sweet he was. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He shifted closer to her, and Nesta inhaled deeply at the lingering scent of his cologne. “I remember when you wouldn’t even say my name out loud. Now you’re here with me and my peas.”

She laughed before answering. “It was the peas that really sold me, you know. I should have written them into my vows.”

“And you’re telling jokes? Tonight must be my lucky night.”

“Shut up before I take the peas from you, Cassian.”

“You love me too much to do that, Nes.”

“Stop using my love for you against me. It’s unfair and you know it.”

“Never,” he said, running his thumb across her cheek. “I love you too much not to use every advantage I can get.”

“I taught you too well,” she said, smiling softly at him. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

She turned to kiss his palm, as unhygienic as it was, and then got up and started changing into pajamas. He groaned as he rolled off the bed, stretching as he stood up to reveal a strip of golden-brown skin at his abdomen before walking towards their bathroom.

Nesta joined him to brush her teeth in another one of his oversized shirts and no pants. He finished first, squeezing her hip as he walked by her and went back into their bedroom. She quickly brushed through her hair and pulled it into a loose braid for sleep before turning off the light.

Cassian was waiting for her under the covers, laughing as he examined the back of her book. “Is there smut in this one?”

She rolled her eyes before grabbing it from him. “You’re insufferable.”

“That’s a yes, then,” he said, grinning. She turned the lights off and put the book on her nightstand before she slid under the covers, snuggling up next to him anyway.

“I’ll let you know when I get to the juicy parts,” she grumbled eventually. He laughed under his breath, pulling her tighter against him as he maneuvered them so her back was to his chest as usual. His heart was beating its usual steady rhythm against her, a familiar baseline that let her know she was safe and everything was right in the world as long as she could curl up next to him every night.

“I love you,” she whispered, not sure if he was asleep yet. He could fall asleep anywhere, and ridiculously quickly at that; she wasn’t too proud to admit she was jealous.

“I love you, too,” he replied, tangling their legs together.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that.

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