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#if we forget about the fact that they are all dead :D
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My OCs (♡-_-♡)
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notafunkiller · 4 months
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Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier
How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:
He always holds back
With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.
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I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)
This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.
If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.
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*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).
2. His skills
People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).
In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.
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3. Karli Morgenthau
And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:
She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.
"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"
The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.
Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)
The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:
"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."
Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".
Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.
[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]
"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."
Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.
He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.
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4. Baron Zemo
You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):
Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.
The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!
This conversation also says a lot:
Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.
Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.
Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?
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Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".
Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.
Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!
Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.
The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.
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When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.
[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]
The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.
Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).
5. John Walker
John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.
Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.
John: I'm not like you!
Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.
"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."
John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.
"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"
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This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.
The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.
(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)
And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?
He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.
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We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.
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ew-selfish-art · 10 months
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Demon Twin AU 
Tim Drake comes across a LOA manuscript detailing the sacrifice of a Demon Heir that’s dated around the time Damian is born and brings it to the cave. There’s no other mention of what went down, but it looks like Damian was a twin and the twin was thrown into the Lazaras Pits- Tim kind of forgets about it but shows it to Damian cause he figures that the guy deserves to know, and leaves it out for Bruce to see (basically the same thing as telling him). It doesn’t really change much but there is an obscured name in the corner so they can presume that the kid’s name would have been something starting with D A N. 
Well here’s the thing: Names carry power. Damian reaches out to John Constantine to ensure that the child is actually dead, because presumably John can do that. John wants to give the kid some closure, so he does what is supposed to be a super chill seance to an infant. He pricks Robin’s finger, chants a little and the air... turns violent.
Uh oh. Dan appears, unshackled from his prison in the Infinite Realms now that John has called upon them by someone with Familial blood. He cackles madly about the fact that it’ll be a good time to bring about the apocalypse again, promising to spare the bird for now, since he would have to get answers later. 
The alarms are blaring, the whole JL is hands on deck to try and stop Dan as he attacks across the globe. They’re saving as many civilian lives as possible but its getting very HAIRY in less than 2 hrs. Robin is out in the chaos, trying to track him down with John and Zatanna trying to recapture him and banish him back to the realms. 
Phantom touches down just as the three of them reach Dan- Danny has some choice words for his older alternate timeline self, including “This is why you have no friends.” and “Seriously, you didn’t even stop to say hi to my timeline’s Jazz this time.” and “Soup time for 1,000 years and then we can talk remediation.” 
After a short but brutal fight, Danny floats over to Damian, John and Z. After making sure they’re all right he’s like “Maybe you can never do that again? Also tell me how and why you did that so I can banish that spell?” And Damian explains that it was meant to ensure that the infant twin he never knew had passed peacefully and clearly that was not the case. Danny blinks a few times, uh, a twin?
Damian goes through the shit, John explains that it was a familial summoning meant to be an advanced seance (hence the lack of safe guards to keep the entity in) and Z confirms that there was nothing special to it beyond that. 
Danny then explains, that uh, “I guess my parents weren’t kidding when they told me I was adopted. Hi? I’m your brother. Uh, I go by Danny though. Dan was me in a different timeline and he’s normally under super strict lockdown.” 
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jazzyoranges · 6 months
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Birthdays and Stress
Tara Carpenter x fem!reader
Summary: Tara meets some of your family during your father’s birthday
Words: 3.4k
A/n: i haven’t written fanfiction since 2020 so please proceed with a little caution 🌚
Warnings(?): fluff, mentions of sex, very tiny hurt/comfort
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You had a big family
Like a really big family
Tara didn’t have the pleasure of having a family like yours. You were close with your cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and everyone else in between. While Tara on the other hand can barely remember her dad’s face, she tries to forget her mom’s, and her sister left due to personal issues. Granted, her sister did come back
Shaking her head, she had to push these thoughts to the back of her mind. Instead Tara had to focus on her rapidly beating heart and the internal screaming at the fact your entire family was only about 5 minutes away
Tara wanted to make a good impression. An amazing impression, that is. But what if your family knew she was related to the Woodsboro killings? What if they knew her sister was related to the very cause of the Ghostface killings? Would they kick her out? Deem her not good enough for you? What if they called her a liability and then kicked her out? This really was a bad idea, why did she agree to doing this?
“Tara, I love you with all my heart. I promise my family won’t throw you out of the house.” You rested a hand on her thigh, rubbing soothing circles with your thumb just how she liked it
Perhaps her internal screaming hadn’t been so internal
“Oh, but what if they do, babe? What then? They’re gonna hate me.” the shorter girl groaned, throwing her head back and covering her face in annoyance
“Tara I’m literally so madly in love with you. They’re going to love you, baby. There’s not a universe out there where they don’t absolutely adore you like I do.” you say seriously, taking her left hand in yours and bringing it up to your face to give her knuckles a feather-light kiss
Tara pouts. A very childish pout, that is
“When you realize I’m right, I will happily say I told you so tomorrow.”
“…You promise they’ll like me?”
“I pinky promise, baby.”
Tara loved that about you. Only do you swear by your pinky during very serious times, almost as if you were swearing upon the river Styx. Never once have you broken one of your pinky promises, and Tara found it utterly adorable. You turned something kids would do under the playground slide into a life-bound oath that you’d never imagine breaking. The thought was endearing enough to help relax Tara just the tiniest bit. She was still scared as fuck, though
“If you get overwhelmed at any time, we can always go back home or to my room, baby. How about we come up with a safe word?”
“I can last all night, babe. This mama doesn’t need any safe word” she says proudly. Your girlfriend was an absolute dork under all those layers of trauma
“Tara.” you playfully cock an eyebrow at her
“Sorry…” she mumbled “how about black licorice? I hate black licorice.”
“Black licorice, it is!” you beam, starting to pull into the driveway of your childhood house
It was your fathers 55th birthday. You’d been with Tara for about 2 years now, which you heavily insisted was enough to consider her a part of your family. Tara ignored how her heartbeat quickened at the implications of being in your family
Tara had still been in her thoughts when you parked the car and rounded the front to the passenger side. Opening the door, you made sure to make a big display, as if you were ushering the queen of England herself
“My liege.” you say in a faux British accent while holding out your hand as you bow, awaiting her response
“And society dares say chivalry is dead.” she laughs at your antics, intertwining your hands as you help her out of your car. There was cars upon cars parked on the road. Tara would’ve guessed this was a frat party and not a birthday party with how many cars were present. Birthday gift in hand, Tara was now worrying if it was enough
When you rang the doorbell, Tara’s heart quickened again. A week prior, you two went shopping, looking for the perfect casual dress Tara was going to wear. You were persistent that it didn’t matter what she wore. Tara ultimately won that argument when she pulled up an entire slideshow on her laptop and presented it to you sitting 5 inches away from your face. You tell yourself you let her win that time
Before she could say this was a bad idea for the umpteenth time, the door opened with your father behind it
“Well, I’ll be dammed! If it isn’t my favorite child!” he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, a wide grin on his face
“Dad!” you smile “You don’t look a day over 80”
“Oh hush, you.” he laughs, turning to Tara
“And you must be Tara!” he reaches out to shake her hand, Tara reciprocating the action.
“We’re all excited to meet you. Our Y/N likes to brag about you quite a lot! Welcome to the family, Tara. It’s a pleasure to have you here” the older man pats her shoulder, his grin bright enough to be seen by astronauts on the Moon
“Thank you, Mr. (L/N). Please, the pleasure is all mine” Tara smiles, and you interlace your hands once again
“Oh, hush with all that formal crap. You’re making me feel old! Frank or Frankie is perfectly fine, darlin’. Come on in!”
You give Tara’s hand a supportive squeeze, offering a smile. You’re proud she didn’t pass out while talking to your dad. He could definitely be overbearing at times, but the older man only had good intentions
Setting down you and Tara’s gift on a nearby table, she was hit with an immediate sense of home when she entered the living room. Tara felt nostalgia that didn’t exist. Perhaps it was a sense of longing. Tara could definitely imagine a small you running around and tracking mud all over the floors. Maybe she’d be lucky enough to see your baby pictures. The shorter girl felt something brush up against her legs, snapping her out of her thoughts
“Ares!” you say excitedly, reaching down to pick up the orange cat. Part of his left ear was missing, but it added to his charm
“He always takes a while to warm up to people. I wonder why he came up to you?” now you were holding the cat in such a way that invited Tara to pet him — which she happily did. Ares quickly started to purr
“Maybe it’s ‘cause I smell like you?”
“I like to think it’s ‘cause you’re the chosen one” you shrug, noticing how Tara’s cheeks redden the tiniest bit
“Why’s his name Ares? That’s a greek god, isn’t it?” Tara didn’t know much about greek mythology when she first met you, but after long rants (in which she happily listened to), she now knew some surface-level facts
“Mom let me name him when I was 13, and I might’ve been going through a really bad Percy Jackson phase at the time. Ares was a real ass when he was younger. Always messing shit up, and I guess it just fit at the time.” you smiled at him. Tara noticed the look in your eyes. You were recalling all your past memories of Ares, getting ready to talk about the orange cat if she asked. Tara liked observing you
“C’mon, how about we say hi to my Mom? Are you ready for another parent?” You asked, setting down Ares on his cat post as he stretched and let out a big yawn.
“Yeah, definitely ready.”
“You sound uncertain. I know you’ll fuck shit up out there, babe” you press a kiss to the bridge of her nose, making her subconsciously scrunch it up in the way you found sickeningly adorable
“Y’know, you should really be a professional motivational speaker, baby. I feel better already” she says in a sarcastic tone, but she fully means her words
Making your way to the backyard doors, Tara is starting to feel a little better about meeting your family. Your Mom was seated on the patio deck with a few of her sisters — your aunts. Before you could say hello, the three of them were already up
“Mom, Auntie Rosie, Aunt Amelia, meet my girlfriend. This is Tara” you smile at her, and she returns your smile
“Tara! You’re even prettier in real life!” you’re lovingly shoved out of the way as all the attention is now drawn to your girlfriend
A slew of praise bombard her, compliment after compliment meeting her ears. You come up behind her and place your hand on the brunette’s shoulder, offering a little comfort. Instead of being met with her eyes of discomfort, all you can see is happiness behind her smile. She happily engages in conversation. Answering questions about your relationship, her education, and plans for the future. Tears prick at your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You loved seeing Tara happy.
“Well, it was wonderful meeting you, Tara. Don’t be a stranger, sweetheart. How about you two enjoy the party, now?” your mom smiled
“Likewise. It was wonderful meeting you too, Mrs. (L/N)”
Before you can turn around, there’s a sudden weight on your back that makes you topple onto the grass. You can hear the faint giggling of Tara as you’re causally making out with the floor
“Lilith (M/N) (L/N). I swear to god if you don’t get off of me, I’ll make sure to-“ you never finished your sentence as more weight was put on your back. Not as heavy as your sister, but the weight was still there. By the sound of high-pitched giggles, you could only assume your nieces — your older brother’s daughters — were now on top of you as well
“Auntie Y/N! Auntie Y/N! Who’s that over there?” Your nieces say in union. Lily gets off your back, but the other two decide to stay and bombard you with questions
Tara can’t help but laugh at your state
“You’re Tara, right?” your sister was now at your girlfriend’s side as you struggled to bribe your nieces with candy (they were surprisingly resilient)
“Mhm, you’re her sister, aren’t you? Lilith is what Y/N said?”
“Lilith is my real name, but family and friends call me Lily” she winks at Tara with a smirk on her face
“Did you know Y/N had a crush on you in high school? She said she’d kill me if I told anyone, but every single day she’d tell me about her fat crush on you” Lily playfully bumped her and Tara’s shoulders together. “Even more than Elizabeth Olsen is what she’d say to me”
“Oh? Please continue, I insist.” Tara can’t contain her smile as she learns about your crush on her. Now fueled by not getting embarrassed more than you already have, you practically wrestle your nieces to get back up on your feet
“Lily I swear to everything holy, if you don’t shut up, I will make sure you never see another sunrise.” you’d probably be scarier if there weren’t two little girls hanging off your arms with some dirt and grass smudged on you face when you got up. Tara and Lily doubled down laughing, and you could feel your cheeks redden in embarrassment
“C’mon you two troublemakers, don’t give Auntie Y/N back problems just yet” your brother calls out from behind Tara. You two were the absolute splitting images of each other. You’ve already shown pictures and videos of him, but now she’s actually seeing him. Face shape, hair texture, you and him may as well be conjoined twins
“Tara, is it? Y/N hasn’t stopped talking about you since you two have met. I’m Joshua” he gracefully picks up his daughters, finally giving you breathing room to mutter something about “working out” and “bodied by toddlers”
“You don’t know how many times i’ve heard that today” Tara’s teasing grin was so wide, her name may as well be the Cheshire Cat. She looks over Joshua’s shoulder, meeting your flushed cheeks and embarrassed look
“I don’t appreciate this slander, thank you. I’d like to take my girlfriend away, now!” you say in a sing-song tone. Your siblings and nieces wave you two a goodbye before starting a conversation of their own
“Embarrassed, much?”
“Hush, you get embarrassed when Mindy tells me about your ‘longing looks’ as she’d call it”
“All the more reason for me to hear about how much you liked me~” Tara pokes the side of your ribs, and you pinch her cheek in retaliation
Before you know it, you’re inside your house again. This time, way more family and family friends occupy the main area. Tara could handle smaller interactions with your immediate family, but this stressed her out. She never liked admitting it, but crowded places freaked her the fuck out. More chances of Ghostfa-
“Black licorice?”
“Black licorice.” she nods, looking at you. Tara liked how well you knew her.
“How about my room? I have a record player in there” You guided her up the stairs, your hand not leaving Tara’s for a second
Entering your room, she noticed how you it was. Band and movie posters were all across the walls, and she could clearly picture a middle school Y/N in their Hot-Topic phase. Vinyl records and a multitude of books sat on shelves all over your room. Above your bed, under your bed, you name it, there wasn’t a shelf that was empty
“Lana, Arctic Monkeys, Taylor, Slipknot for some reason…” You listed off artists you had records for, and they were all so you. She could practically feel your entire soul in this room, just wafting around
“Lana. Definitely, Lana” Tara makes her way to your bed, feeling the soft sheets on her thighs
“What’s on your mind, baby?” You sit next to her, letting Tara rest her head on your shoulder
“Do you think i’ll ever stop being scared? I don’t like feeling scared around your family. I don’t like how they’re all still affecting me”
“It’ll take time, Tara. Months, Years, you name it. But however long it takes, I promise I’ll be there with you.” Tara fidgets with your hands, and you press a kiss to the side of her head
Before you can fully move away, Tara pulls you into another kiss. She feels soft against your lips, and smells like absolute heaven. She kisses you like you’re her last meal, and you’d happily be devoured. She straddles your waist as your back hits the headboard. You kiss until air is required, and pull away with a small smile on your face. It’s not long until you do it again. And again. And again. Until your lips are cherry red from Tara’s biting, and her dress a little crinkled from your urge to always be close
“We can stay up here if you want? I’ll tell my parents you aren’t feeling well.”
“No, that’d be bad manners. Can we just… stay like this a little longer?”
“Whatever you want, baby.” You shimmy out of her straddle, and opt to lay on your bed
“Lay down with me?”
“Y/N, i don’t want my hair to get all messy”
“So what? You’d look pretty either way”
“Your family is gonna think we had sex, baby”
“I hate to break it to you, babe, but they probably already think we’re on our third position right now”
Tara sighs.
“Moments like these are when I question why I said yes to dating you” She groans, laying down on her back next to you
“I’m irresistible” you say with a smug grin on your face
“If it helps you sleep at night, baby”
“Where did Tara and Y/N go?” your mother questioned
“Y/N whispered something in Tara’s ear, and they went upstairs. Ten dollars they’re gonna fuck”
“Lily! Language!” your sister laughed as your mom lightly slapped her shoulder
“You should probably wait 10 minutes before calling them down here”
“I’m grounding you.”
Ten minutes of laying on your bed and a few kisses later, a knock is heard at your door
“Are you two decent over there?”
“We aren’t fucking, Lily” this time, it’s your turn to groan
“Just make sure to air out your room before our nieces and nephews get up here”
“I hate being related to you” Tara laughs behind you, trying to suppress a smile. “I’d wrestle you if I wasn’t so strong” you open your door
“We both know you’re all talk. I’m the real winner, aren’t I, Tara?”
“As long as it’s not Y/N” Tara shrugs while walking down the stairs, and she can practically feel the betrayed look on your face
“I’m the real winner, aren’t I, Tara?” You say in a higher pitch, mocking Lily. “C’mon, we both know I have more experience.”
“Sex isn’t the same as wrestling, Y/N”
“You’d be agreeing with me if you actually got some, Lily”
“Alright, I think that’s enough about sex. I’m gonna have this on my conscience while we sing happy birthday to your father” Tara just couldn’t stop thinking about how you two bantering was so similar to her family bantering with Mindy and Chad. The shorter girl’s family was maybe definitely more complicated than yours, but you never made her feel bad about it. Tara liked that about you
“Your girlfriend is cool” Lily whispers, but Tara can hear her
“You’re saying that like I don’t already know” You smile, swinging an arm around Tara’s shoulders. Finally making it to the bottom floor, your family is around your father, getting ready to sing happy birthday. He requested two simple five and five candles, but it seems he lost that battle as 55 regular candles sat on his sheet cake
A few of your nieces and nephews of different ages swarm to your side like bees following their queen. Tara has to push away her baby thoughts when she sees you take one of your nieces into your arms and smile all the way up to your eyes. This barbie is having baby fever
Someone dims the lights, and a happy birthday is sung to your father. She joins in the makeshift choir, meeting his eyes and smiling. The man looked a little awkward, but honestly who didn’t while being sung happy birthday. When the crowd was finished singing, the older man closed his eyes in thought of a wish. As quickly as they closed, his wish was made
A spew of cheers and congratulations erupted as he was handed a knife to cut his cake. Kids rushed to grab a slice, and Tara had to actively try and not get her toes stepped on. The shorter girl felt someone lean onto her from behind, and she could tell it was you from how your chin rested on her head
“How’re you feeling?” A slice of cake was now in her hands as of your delivery. “Let’s sit outside and you can talk me through it”
“This is all so new to me, but i’m enjoying it. I’m still scared and nervous, but you’re making it easier” she bumps your shoulders together. “Your siblings are also pretty fun to be around”
“Thanks for coming today, baby” you kiss the side of her head. “I’m really proud of you for agreeing to come with me.”
Tara lays her head on your shoulder, and you two stay like that for a little while, appreciating each others presence to take a small breather.
“Thank you for being patient with me” The shorter girl says softly after a while
“As long as Atlas is holding up the sky, I promise I’ll wait for you”
“Baby, you’re so lucky I love you. I would’ve cringed if you were anyone else, but somehow you make it endearing”
“I always told my siblings I’d get a girlfriend that appreciates my Greek Mythology references”
“You’re a dork.” Tara smiles before leaning in to kiss you. She was looking forward for another day like this.
Bonus:
You and Tara are cuddling on her bed when the clock turns to 12am
“Hey, Tar?”
“Mmm?”
“I told you so.”
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 3 months
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I’ve been simping over your ‘human’ Nomicon design since it came out in Ninja-November. If you have any headcanons about them, would you please share?
ah, a fellow monster/eldritch horror enjoyer I see! thank you! <3 tbh that Nomicon design was like an one day revelation, because while I love all the human!Nomi designs I've seen over the years (and there are some banger ones, man), it hit me that we as a fandom really underutilize all the uncanny aspects Nomi possesses. So ye. I do have a couple hc.
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Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have its own face and voice.
Whenever Nomicon talks to Randy it uses proxies in form of art/images/drawings/scribbles/writings. It gives strangely non-verbal vibes for something so cryptically eloquent! And whenever it does use a voice, its voice of the First Ninja (or more accurately his VA xD) , its first owner/wielder. When it uses a face, its usually the static/unmoving marble-like faces of Art or silly pen scribbles - both of which hold that uncanny valley look of something that looks human but really isn't. Not to mention the fact that it once literally stole Randy's face/body to teach him a lesson.
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I like to think that Nomicon has a library of faces/visages/voices it can take on, but all of them are creepily unsettling because - what would a book know about how to be human? It's face moves wrong, the eyes are too wide open, its body is creepily still, the voice uses inflections like its copying someone else (and sometimes voice warbles and changes/overlaps with other voices because it has so many).
All of it gives these fae/cryptid vibes of creatures that steal voices/faces to trick people, but in this case Nomicon collects those faces/voices from its owners along with their memories (which is another messed up thing we collectively forget is very creepy lol).
Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have a body, and most importantly - hands.
The reason I gave Nomicon so many shadow hands is because, well, Nomicon is a book. Hands hold those books, so the hands are very important to Nomi. All those shadow hands? Are memories of all the hands that held it (mostly previous Ninjas, but also the Creep and some others). It remembers everyone who held it.
The fit- the hat and the cape are kind of obvious, it look like center of the cover and the cape looks like covers on either side with pages underneath. The weirdest addition I made - is the spaghetti noodle-doodle 'hair'.
It constantly fascinates me that Nomicon, besides the Greek Key/9 motif, has those sort of concentration circles that are also present during Mask/Suit transformation. It gave me thought of sort of weird halos i guess?? Which adds to creepy vibe, but in this case its biblically accurate angel / holy deity type of vibes.
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Nomicon has very basic understanding of humanity.
For all the experiences/memories/personalities it was created from and it absorbed over the years, human things are a rather alien concept for the book. It's the reason Nomicon is so bad at its timing whenever it buzzes Randy. It just doesnt care that you are at school Randy, its trying to teach you how to be a better ninja!!! In some sense, it absorbed the most prevalent quality of First Ninja - the dedication to duty, the whole reason for its existence - to serve Ninjas to be the best they can. So, such human/mortal things as good grades/video games/a good nights sleep are very nebulous concepts to it.
Less of a hc but more of an observation/gripe but-
COME ON ITS NAME??? Ninjanomicon as in Ninjanecronomicon??? Because lets be honest its not just a book/guide for Ninjas its a book full of DEAD NINJAS??? LIKE??? In some sense all previous Ninjas, when they go through Ultimate Lesson, 'die' in the real world (because they are no longer Ninjas) and are preserved in Nomicon. And First is like deadass dead? (Plop plop too lol). So I feel like there should be more creepiness about that.
Anyway thats basically most of it, and sorry for silly doodles but i cant really draw creepy stuff xD
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midnight-in-town · 6 months
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Let's talk about the "Fenian brotherhood" theory !! :D
Firstly, in case you don't know about it, please go read the theory that our!Ciel's birth name might be Fenian/Fionn/Finnian by @azuresins. It is incredibly relevant to what I'm about to explain next !
TBH, I don't really care about discovering our!Ciel's birth name. However, I truly enjoy this theory and I think it makes a lot of sense, because I absolutely agree with the idea of Vincent supporting (secretly or not) Irish independence, turning him into a political enemy of Queen Victoria...
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...which could be very much why he ended up dead.
This theory comes from a private convo with my friend, @dorkshadows and I'll sum up their thoughts (and some of mine) below the cut !
First of all, while we think Claudia, Vincent's predecessor, may have been a personal enemy of Victoria because of whatever happened when Albert died in 1861, Vincent strikes us more as a political enemy precisely because of Brown's comment in ch108.
After all, if our!Ciel, who just managed to thwart their plans of getting the sulin gas, is "more like his father everyday", then it makes sense that Vincent "got in the way" of some of Victoria & JB's war/political plans too. >_>
Now, about the Fenian Cycle book: it was an important symbol for Irish independence and the Fenian Brotherhood that started in the 19th century before it got dissolved in 1880. To quote Wikipedia:
"The Fenian Brotherhood traced their origins back to 1790s, in the rebellion, seeking an end to British rule in Ireland initially for self-government and then the establishment of an Irish Republic. The rebellion was suppressed, but the principles of the United Irishmen were to have a powerful influence on the course of Irish history."
But how would Vincent even get involved with it and why?
In the theory that OC's name is Fenian/Finnian, @azuresins mentioned that maybe it's all related to Cedric K. Ros having Celtic origins. Since we do have one sketch by Yana of one twin bringing the Fenian Cycle book to the Undertaker (the most likely candidate for Cedric K. Ros)...
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...it might indeed be a partial answer.
There is another possibility though, entirely thought by @dorkshadows, which is that Rachel (and Ann) might have been of Irish origins too.
After all, a common stereotype for Irish people in many stories is red hair and it's hard to forget that it was a very distinctive characteristic of Ann, Rachel's sister !
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In fact, one of their first interactions is Vincent telling Ann to be proud of that hair, which we were told she inherited from her dad, the twins' maternal grandfather.
So Vincent might have not just been talking about Ann's hair color in that scene, but more specifically about her taking more pride in her Irish origins. Obviously though, Dalles/Durless aren't very Irish names, but it is possible that their original family name got anglicized into a more traditionally English name.
In any case, Vincent met Rachel and Ann after already knowing their father :
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So it's possible that Vincent was, as the Watchdog, investigating Lord Durless as a nobleman with Irish lineage and possible ally of the Fenian Brotherhood. After all, to quote this article, "the Fenians in England and the British Empire were a major threat to political stability". Then Vincent met and fell in love with Rachel, thus deciding to support the Brotherhood instead.
I'd add that Vincent supporting such a cause simply makes sense, considering that the Phantomhive family, too, might have been burdened by the Watchdog's duty generations ago, because of their "different" lineage (full theory here). On top of that, if you add the possibility that Cedric/UT also was of Celtic origins (many decades or centuries ago) and that Vincent knew Claudia's death was Victoria's fault, it only makes sense that he'd eventually politically antagonize the Queen (both for his parents' sake and for Rachel's).
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@dorkshadows also pointed out that, to this day, we don't know if the twins' maternal grandfather is alive or dead in canon : he was important enough to be mentioned in Red's flashback but has been missing from the narrative ever since. Timeline-wise, he could be dead, especially since we never saw him in the Blue Memory arc (our!Ciel's flasback), but we never know with Yana (look at Claudia being hinted in panels ever since the circus arc and probably being incredibly relevant), so it's worth keeping in mind.
Then, moving on to ch132 we know that, when the twins were born, Rachel is the one who named them.
Coincidentally (read: it's probably not a coincidence xD), ch132 had the cover with Vincent reading the Fenian Cycle book to the twins and it's also the chapter in which Vicar Rathbone casually says that one twin/both twins (it's deliberately ambiguous in Japanese) have a name that is "rare for England" :
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Many fans, myself included, thought that "Ciel" was the name being discussed there, but maybe they were actually talking about our!Ciel's celtic birth name ! To quote @azuresins, in that case that'd basically mean that, in that scene above, "Vincent said to an ENGLISH PRIEST [...] that people of Celtic origin deserved freedom, and to be treated better and that it probably was soon to come".
No wonder that Vicar Rathbone would immediately change the topic lmao ! xD
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Vicar Rathbone be like
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It is also very meaningful that Rachel decided to give the "Fionn/Fenian/Finnian" name to our!Ciel ("the spare"), as if to emphasize that he was free to make his own path in life, as the second son, unburdened by earldom. Choosing such a meaningful name might even be a parallel to Vincent's own situation with Frances as his spare, since both also have names with a meaning relating to victory and freedom.
Another important detail, as @azuresins already explained here, is that Fenian Cycle is also a tale of revenge and that our!Ciel parallels Fionn big deal, making it all even more relevant. And maybe Yana left other hints in her artworks too...
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Finally, historically the Fenian Brotherhood officially got dissolved around 1880 (the twins were 5 years old), but it's always possible that, in Kuroverse, Vincent managed to make it thrive secretly as the Watchdog. The Fenian Brotherhood caused several incidents, including after 1880 (they assassinated a British Chief Secretary in 1882), so it wouldn't be impossible that the Queen eventually found out that Vincent didn't properly take care of them, because he was supporting them.
And when she found out? Well, she branded Vincent a political enemy and we know the rest (the household was massacred in 1885 and the killer most likely received help from real!Ciel, more details in the real!Ciel mastermind theory hehe).
The idea that Vincent ultimately became a political enemy of Victoria because he fell in love with Rachel makes their death...
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...even more emotional to me, since Rachel probably died trying to protect Vincent. T_T
TL;DR that's the Fenian Brotherhood theory: because they supported an Irish rebellious group that wanted freedom, Vincent & Rachel were branded political enemies of Victoria and she & JB plotted their deaths, which led in happenstance to the RCMT.
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(friendly reminder that the twins are 7, when Vincent asked Dee to look after them should he die)
I hope it was clear ! Thanks for reading. :))
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year
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Ik this is more on the vague side, but ever since i read ur Irminsul headcannons about the reader in Imposter!SAGAU I got this idea, what if:
The reader could just remove info about themselves in the big tree lol - i mean, Scarab did it before might as well try it, no?
Irminsul itself might let us in without the permission of Nahida so we could go in undetected
Since looking through the memories of Irminsul might be like exploring an endless library, as long as you set your mind to it, you'd be able to find that info, like for example:
Memories about the "Creator"
Now, by now, you already know what I'm getting at, right?
Once reader finally figures out how to erase stuff by trying removing certain minor parts of Irminsul, they try to erase the entire memory of the "Creator" ever existing
Not as in like, they would forget that you were the Creator or that one exists, nor what they look like, but just the horrible memories and basically everything that the "Creator" did/made
But now, one would wonder, what would happen now?
I'd guess that, since the "Creator" is believed to love everyone, why is the one on the throne ruling and acting so... Tyrannical?
In my opinion, I feel like a rebellion would ensue sooner or later
But then, since Scarab lost his own memories when he removed himself from Irminsul, wouldn't that also mean the same thing for the "Creator" themselves?
Anyways, feel free to procrastinate and take your time on my take on reader being able to remove info on Irminsul hehe (bc honestly I'd also do that lmao)
Signing off, 🐱 Anon
WE GOT A 🐱 ANON NOW, BOIS—OPEN THE CURTAINS, OPEN THE LIGHTS! CUE THE CLAPPING AND CHEERING AUDIO TRACKS!—
Alright I'm done making a fuss about that lol—here's the headcanon/jot note version of a oneshot of everything that happens since my motivation was running low on oneshots/short stories.
Disclaimers: N/A
Reader Has Entered Irminsul...
Reader is in their Hunted Arc rn, getting chased by all of Teyvat under the "Creator's" orders. They keep running and running and running...
They're getting tired, and they soon find themselves in a dead end. They think of all the places they haven't been to yet: the desert of Sumeru, Inazuma, Mt. Aocang, Mt. Hulao, Wuwang Hill, irminsul—
Yeah, you guessed it. Just by thinking of irminsul, Reader has made it to the big 'ol Tree of Knowledge :D
Reader is shocked—surprised. But not for long—because they start to panic. They aren't sure if Nahida was on their side or not, like what the sagau fanfics say.
In fact, Reader is mainly scared that she already knows they're here.
That is, before the Reader feels a sudden urge to make it to the Tree of Knowledge. As if irminsul is calling for them specifically. They're weary of what this all means, but at the same time, intrigued.
It was the first time they felt like this. So, naturally, they followed what their gut was telling them, hoping that they won't regret this decision.
Reader gets close to the tree, surprised that they managed to make their way to it without requiring access from Nahida or even getting lost just to navigate the route to get there.
The moment they touch irminsul's trunk, however, the Reader feels a sudden blast of information, as if Teyvat itself is giving them the resources to know what to do.
By the time Nahida feels something from irminsul and she arrives to see what's up, it's too late. The Reader's already made the change.
All tyranny of the "Creator" was erased. None of it happened. Not once, not ever. The Palace of the Creator was never created, the Imposter themself never took on any throne...nothing.
Reader comes back to Mondstadt, hoping that what they did worked.
It did. No one remembers what the Creator looks like. There was no Imposter impersonating them. Reader was free.
They were free! They did it! They could travel the entire world now without risking getting killed! They could finally find a portal home!
Except...they forgot the Traveler existed. But even the Traveler is glad there is no more tyranny.
Andd, that's all I got! Sorry if it's short lol—I ran out of ideas for this :') I hope it's okay for y'all.
See you all around! :D
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: So, as I've been writing this, I'm going to give you guys a little update on something that you all really enjoyed in the past.
So, you know "Forever In My Hold" and "A Path Beyond Hope" oneshots? Yes, this is regarding of the little series that has been created. I have decided that I will be making a Part 3, but it will take a very long while. And it will be the LAST PART of the series. I just can't find the motivation to continue it longer.
Also: Should I do a remake of Live or Die? It's a very old writing of mine, back when I first began this blog. I'm not sure if y'all want to read it, but idk if I want to make a remake. Please let me know :)
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deansapplepie · 5 months
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Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 8
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A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story.
This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.
Chapter 7 Chapter 9
Chapter 8: Because it’s you
Summary: Rick finds Y/N and Daryl sleeping all cozy and cuddling. The Grimes’ Siblings have a heart to heart conversation and make sure to each other that they care and that they’re there. While the group go train with guns, Y/N and Daryl pass some time together that brings some answers but also more questions for then. Some secrets a revealed.
Warnings: swearing, little angsty, violence, mentions of violence, mentions of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, a hot kiss 🥵 . Minors do not interact. (If I forget anything else, let me know)
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)
Word Count: 4,806
Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. I’m consulting a timeline of everything that happened, but it can happen that I put events out of order, but I don’t think it’ll make much difference in the story. ALSO, I’m praying my Daryl isn’t too out of character.
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Rick didn’t see you be so comfortable around a man like you were with Daryl for many years, and the archer wasn’t the type he would judge to enjoy cuddles. Also, he couldn’t help but feel concerned about you, he already saw everything… he knew you were falling for Dixon and also knew that you didn’t do any of this love, relationship thing or even anything casual for years. He was afraid you’d get hurt or have mixed feelings. He feared to see you ‘destroyed’ like you were in the past and he couldn’t afford that, specially now that the world was upside down.
Daryl or you didn’t seem to wake up, so he cleared his throat again, this time louder and exaggerated. Daryl woke up startled and saw Rick at the end of the room looking at both of you. To say Daryl was embarrassed wasn’t the correct word to describe what he was feeling at the moment. “Wake her up.” Rick asked, ordered, him.
“Y/N” Daryl called for you squeezing your arm a little.
Nothing.
“Y/N/N” he called again, you hummed snuggling a little more into him. Blush ran to his cheeks, you weren’t making his job easy.
“Puppy” he called the nickname he gave you, but cringed a little about using it in front of Rick. Daryl was looking at you, so lucky him, he couldn’t see Rick’s bitchy facial expression of ‘seriously, you already have pet names?’.
You opened your eyes and were surprised to see his face looking at you, so all the coziness you were feeling was him. You couldn’t help but give a sleepy smile. “Morning D. Sorry for cuddling you, but I have to say, there’s a long time I don’t sleep this good.”
“Er… no problem…” he just wanted to disappear, Rick was watching all of this and he couldn’t just not answer you.
Rick cleared his throat again and you jumped startled at the noise and looked in direction of the noise. “Jesus! Rick! You scared the hell out of me! Why are you being all creepy and watching we sleep?” You said, your heart was beating fast because of the scare. Very reluctantly you left Daryl’s embrace and sat on the bed.
“I… I wasn’t watching you.” Rick was embarrassed and got moody with the situation. “I came to see how the two of you were. Apparently, you’re pretty good.”
“We were just sleeping Rick. And it’s probably my fault, you know that I move a lot in bed.” You said, and it wasn’t a lie. He knew, when you were younger and needed to share a bed, you ended kicking and stealing his covers and sheets. In fact he was surprised you didn’t steal Daryl’s sheets.
“I know. Really. Just embarrassed to find you two all cozy and cuddling.” He confessed.
“Man, I was respectful I swear.” Daryl sat holding the sheets to his chest. He felt like a teenager being caught with his girlfriend by her dad, the only thing is they were not teenagers, she wasn’t his girlfriend and they didn’t make anything.
“I know Daryl, it’s ok.” But wasn’t ok, he was worried as fuck and already had many problems to solve and still he had to deal with his younger sister and make sure she wasn’t going to bring trouble to herself. “Also, Carl is already on his feet and I think you two can go back to the camp and end the recovery, we shouldn’t abuse the hospitality we’re receiving.”
“Ok, so I guess I fucked up a little bit and Hershel isn’t happy.” You concluded.
“Yes.” Rick confirmed. “You two should rest to recover. Daryl I brought you a clean shirt.” He threw the shirt to Daryl, that catched it immediately. ‘Awww’, you thought, ‘Rick is so cosiderate about D.’
“Alright, thanks.” Daryl answered and then looked to you, he didn’t want you to see. You knew it.
“So, I guess it’s my time to leave.” You got up of the bed. “I wonder what we might have for breakfast today.”
After you had breakfast Rick and you went to your tent so you could talk. You were worried about this conversation, because you didn’t do anything wrong in your eyes. Rick was anxious and also worried about everything, he wanted to protect you and everyone, but how could he protect you when he barely made time for you.
“So…” you tried encouraging him to start the conversation.
“I never saw you so out of control as I saw yesterday. I’m not saying she didn’t deserved, but that’s not you.” He started, you had to take a deep breath to not over react.
“Maybe, I didn’t have the courage before but now I have. Maybe, this is who I should be in this world. I’m not talking about hurting or sacrificing innocent people, but… if I can’t defend or protect the ones I care about, what am I supposed to do, Rick? Let the people do whatever they want with me and with the ones I love?” You took a look at his deep blue eyes and they were sad, and you hated to see he directing this look at you, you’d rather have him angry at you than see sadness in his eyes.
“Andrea is part of our group, actions like that will just separate all of us and it’ll be difficult for both of you to live with each other.”
“Well, so is Daryl. And guess what? She could have killed him. She didn’t because she doesn’t even know how to hold a damn gun correctly, but she could have hit him. And then, what would we do? Accept her apologies and her destructive behavior, and keep going? It could have been anyone Rick, it could have been me, Lori or even Carl! What would you do?” You felt alone again, like even having your brother back let you in the loneliness. You didn’t know anymore if you were wrong or right, you just knew that no one could hurt who you cared and go with no punishment.
“I don’t know, it didn’t happen.” He said, he didn’t know what he would do. Otis for example he could have killed him or beat him, but he didn’t, and even by accident he hurt the most precious person in the world for him. “She just lost her sister Y/N/N, you can understand it better than anybody else.”
“Well, I didn’t became an uptight bitch that goes around making shit and putting people in danger.”
“You were not alone. She is…” You talked before he finished, because you couldn’t take it.
“You weren’t there Rick, you have no idea of how lonely I was.” Just remembering made tears come to your eyes, you looked down trying to hide it. You didn’t want him to know, but you had already said the words. You heard his breath, he was probably choosing the words to say.
“Shane and Lori…” you felt a knowing pain in your chest and slowly brought your eyes back to him. Did he knew? You waited him to complete. “You were lonely because they were… having something?”
“Did you know?” Your voice was shook and you knew your tears were about to fall.
“I’m not dumb Y/N. I could see the signals. I-I can’t blame them, I was dead to them…” He also had teary eyes, and you knew how it pained him.
You hugged him and let him cry, and you cried too. All the tears you still had to drop since the day you discovered you were alone and you hadn’t had your brother to hug and tell you it was going to get better. God! You didn’t want to see when he discovered Lori’s pregnancy, it is… if she was going to tell him. He hugged you back and could finally bring all his emotions about it out, he had all of this stuck in his chest since the quarry and he didn’t have the time to deal with all this.
“I’m sorry.” You said, he was probably alright with the fact that you didn’t told him, but you had to tell how sorry you were. “It was so lonely, I couldn’t understand, because I was still mourning you and… when I discovered I… I couldn’t cause a scene, I couldn’t confront them… not with Carl there and I had nobody, I only had…”
“Daryl.” He said, he pulled from your embrace and looked at your face sweeping the tears you still had on your face. “Was that the moment you got closer to him?”
You just nodded, that was the moment and now you knew that another speech was coming. If this kind of conversation was already embarrassing with the women in the group… you should brace yourself because it wasn’t going to be better with your brother.
“Yes, I mean… I already knew him, but we didn’t interacted much. Till the day I told you he found me in the woods…”
“He’s a good man.” He said and it surprised you, you were not expecting it. “He’s just… rough on the edges.”
“I thought you were goind to lecture me.” You said relieved.
“I’m not. You’re a grown woman. I’m just a few years older, I should stop treating you like a kid.” He said, and you smiled at him. You knew it was being difficult for him, it seemed like Shane and him would always see you like the annoying little sister that would try to go with them everywhere. “But it doesn’t mean, I don’t worry or care about you.”
You continued in silence, cause you knew more were to come, he had just started. And to be honest you didn’t know what to say in the moment.
“Don’t say you’re just friends.” You remained silent just waiting for what he had to say. “The way you look at each other? This is not what friends do. Also, I see how he’s protective of you, and after yesterday I have no doubt you’re of him too.”
“Well, I’d do the same for any other friend.” You tried to find an excuse.
“You look as you have the hots for each other.”
“He’s an attractive man, what should I do? Take my eyes out?” Rick wasn’t buying your bullshit, so he had to use his last card to make you talk seriously to him.
“I saw you two making out at the CDC.” He dropped the bomb. HE REMEMBERED. Your eyes got wide and he knew now he got you in this conversation. “You were sleeping like a couple today.”
“Rick…”
“It has been many years since I saw you get this close to a man, and don’t get me wrong what I want the most is for you to be happy, to live even in this shitty world… you passed all these years without being in any kind of romantic relationship, not even casual. And now it’s like you jumped from an airplane with no parachute and I’m just afraid you’ll hit the ground and it’ll torn you to pieces.”
“Rick, I… I don’t know how to explain, I just can’t stay away from him, and it feels so right to spend time with him, talk to him, NOT talk to him… it’s like a chain reaction and I can’t control. All this years, I never felt like this.” You confessed, but you didn’t wanted to tell the words that scared you so much. There wasn’t even 3 months you knew him, and it felt already like a lifetime of emotions. “And… he’s such a good person and he doesn’t see it. He doesn’t know how good he is.”
“You know what all of this is. When you were trying to justify your actions towards Andrea, you used the word love.” You were surprised, because you didn’t remember it, you just told Rick whatever came to your mind. “I just ask you to be careful, I’ll not try to prohibit you from experiencing life, just take care… and please, please close doors or whatever when you decide to make out with him again.” He gave you a half smile and you couldn’t help but smile back.
“Rick, I don’t want to put names on what I feel, not yet. Thank you for talking and to go easy on me, I was expecting a whole lecture like Shane used to give me back at the quarry. But I forget that you’re best friends, not the same person.” You squeezed his hand, you were happy you could have a heart to heart conversation like in the old days. You missed it and you barely had time to have it with him after he came back. “You know, you can come to me whenever you need to talk. Don’t burden yourself, share it with me.”
“Thanks.” He said and prepared himself to leave. “I love you, you know right?”he turned to you before leaving.
“I love you too big bro.” You gave him a smile, you were so glad to have him back. He left and you stayed a little bit more in your tent, it was strange to be alone when you were always surrounded with people or with Luna, who at the moment was entertaining Carl.
While everyone, or almost everyone was going to learn how to use the guns, you couldn’t do anything but stay in the farm. You were clearly bored, with nothing to do. You decided to pay Daryl a visit. When you arrived to his tent he was laying there, also bored as fuck. “Come in” he said just as if he was really in a room or a house.
You entered his tent and sat on the floor, the injured leg straight, while the good one you brought to your chest and rested your chin on it. “Are you also bored?” He obviously were, you just wanted to make conversation.
“Bored’s not the correct word to describe it.” He talked while he spin an arrow on his hand. “Andrea came here earlier to apologize. Ya really were tough on her. Nasty job ya did.”
“Thanks?! I guess…” were he complimenting you or did he think you overreacted? “Did you accept her apologies?”
“Yeah, I mean… I ain’t dead. She was just trying to protect the group.” You scoffed in disbelief, even him?
“Good thing I don’t have a good heart like yours.” You stated, because you were still pretty much angry at the woman.
“Did Rick give you the lecture?” He was curious to know what happened in your conversation, but he was also apprehensive of what was the outcome of it.
“Yes, and No…”
“Or he did or he didn’t.” He said, there’s no way to happen both at the same time.
“Yes, he tried to lecture me about the fight yesterday, but he listened to my reasons.” You laid down on your side, head resting in your arm and observed him. “He couldn’t convince me I was wrong, but I also couldn’t convince him I was right.”
“I forgave her, but she deserved. Ya were slightly right.” Slightly? Why? Did he really think you shouldn’t have done that?
“Or I’m right or I ain’t, Dixon.” You mimicked what he said before.
“Are ya mad at me?” He turned to you.
“I’m not.” You answered avoiding his eyes.
“You’re pouting and called me Dixon.”
“Isn’t that your name?” You looked at him and he had a smirk on his face, you were cute. That was what he thought. When you were angry, but not when you were ‘I’m going to kill you’ angry, you were the cutest pretty thing he had ever seen. “What’s the smirk about?”
“Nothing…” he wouldn’t tell you how he thought you were cute, no, he couldn’t.
“Tell meeee! It’s something, I know.” You insisted, you poked him multiple times in hope to annoy him and get your answer.
“Stop!” You didn’t. “Stop!” He asked one more time, and you didn’t. So he took your pulse in his huge hand and yanked you, making you speechless, only a few inches apart from him and it was efficient to make you stop poking him.
“Daryl…” you said weakly, if you wasn’t this close to the archer he’d probably not listen.
“I was just thinking about how cute ya look.” He confessed, the words came from his mouth without thinking, and with the help of the little annoyance you were causing.
You scanned all of his face to see if he was joking, but you saw nothing. His face was serious and his eyes were soft. You were never this impulsive, but apparently the apocalypse was bringing it out of you. The first thought you had, was to just crash your lips on his and let it be, but you didn’t want to risk lose the close and comforting proximity you had right now. You looked from his lips to the wound he had on his forehead. You propped your elbow on the floor and curved to give him a delicate kiss where it was hurt, going back to the same position you were before.
“What ‘re ya doing?” He asked, not used to this kind of demonstration of affection, it was new to him. He couldn’t quite understand it, but at the same time he knew deep down that he kind of liked it.
“Kissing it better…” you answered, did he never had someone to kiss his boo boos when he was a kid? No, he didn’t and that was why he didn’t understand. He released the hand he was holding in his and put it on the side of your face caressing it, he looked at the scratch marks on your cheek and even with them he thought you were adorable.
He got a little bit closer to you and kissed your cheek, it was quick and tender, and made you all flushed. How could the all gruff Daryl be so soft. You moved your hand to his head and let your fingers run on his short hair, he closed his eyes in appreciation, his guard was down and he could just enjoy the sensation. Again you looked at his chapped lips and couldn’t help but come closer, your hot breath hitting his face making him open his eyes and look at you. Feeling his eyes on you, you looked back at his eyes waiting for some signal or even a voiced permission… he just looked down at your lips and you took that as your cue to close the gap between both of you.
Your lips delicately encountered taking your time and lazily kissing him, he reciprocated he was dreaming to repeat this moment again, to have the opportunity to kiss you one more time, and he qas so glad neither of you were drunk at the moment. At first it was just lips, just the delicious feeling of being so close to each other, feeling the mix of your bodies heat. Then Daryl licked your lips, he was the one to initiate it this time and you slightly opened your mouth giving him permission to deepen your kiss. It was slow and intimate but still sensual and intense. His hand descended to your waist holding a firm grip there, feeling a little of your skin as your shirt got a little up. You hummed in satisfaction with your intimacy and the heat of his big hand on your waist. You had a strong grip on his upper arm, holding yourself as if you could fall from somewhere. His other hand, close to the ground, stayed in your face caressing it with his thumb. While your other hand was resting on his chest. When the intensity of kiss was increasing he impulsively pulled your body against his, you gasped in surprise and with the sensation, while he winced in pain.
You felt it and broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his, heavy breathing on both ways. “Damn, forgot yesterday I got an arrow through me.”
“I’m sorry” you returned your hand to his hair.
“For what? For kissing me real good?” He raised his eyebrow and said with a teasing tone.
“For making you feel pain.”
“Nah, I was too enthusiastic.” He kept his arm around you, enjoying the feeling just like he enjoyed cuddling with you in bed. “Why d’ya keep kissing me?” No matter how much he liked when you did it, and how afraid he was to not have it anymore. He had to ask, because he didn’t want to be used just like Merle’s voice had said.
“Because it’s you.” You answered, you looked in his eyes and you saw confusion. He was trying to understand what you meant, because he never thought anyone would want him just because it was him. “I’m not doing this because I don’t have options, if that’s what you’re thinking. I… I had options in the old world, if I wanted to. But it have been years that I didn’t even do casual shit. So, what I want to say is that you aren’t just someone I want to have fun.” For a minute you thought you had said too much, that he’d distance from you, because who’s the freak that don’t have any kind of relationship for years? Well, you were.
“Who hurt you this bad, pup?” He looked at you with tenderness on his eyes, his hand lifted to put a lock of your hair behind your ear. A beautiful sweet young woman like you, all alone and in no relationship for all this years, something bad had happened, that was the only explanation. You were probably around his age, that was what he thought, maybe a couple of years younger, since you’re younger than Rick, but even like this, if you had more age, you’d still be all the things he thought about you. You looked like you’d age well.
“It doesn’t matter, the son of a bitch is probably already dead.” You hoped so. “Do you wanna me to stop being physical with you?” You had to ask, maybe he didn’t want you to continue, even though he seemed to enjoy it. Daryl and you had a lot of layers, but he had more and you’d hate if you crossed his boundaries.
“I don’t. I like yer company and… ya’know the thing that’s going on.” He also didn’t want to name things, just like you had said to Rick about yourself. He was also afraid, but at least for now he knew that hallucination Merle knew nothing about you or your group.
“Ok, so I’ll not stop.” You affirmed and put your arm around him, being careful to not touch where he was injured.
“Come here.” He used his right arm to bring you to him, making you rest your head between his shoulder and chest, you gladly accepted it, because you’ve never been as peaceful as you were in this morning by being on his arms. “So now, what we do?”
“We can take things slow, let’s cross each other’s boundaries when the time comes.” You said and looked at his face waiting for his answer.
“It sounds good to me.” He ran his fingers on your hair.
“Also, we should remember to close doors when we kiss or anything else. Rick told me he saw us back at the CDC.” Daryl almost choked on his saliva, just thinking about people catching them made him all embarrassed. This morning you were just hugging and he was an embarrassing mess because Rick caught you.
“Yep, we better close doors. Can’t stand being caught again.”
“Well, I wouldn’t mind if it meant you’d have blush on your cheeks. You’re cute when you are all shy.” You teased him, but you’d also feel better if your brother didn’t catch you making out with Daryl.
Soon, they came back from the shooting training and you only knew it because Luna invaded Daryl’s tent showering both of you with her love, which means licking you and swinging her tail happily. You took care for her not jump on Daryl because of his injuries, but she didn’t she was delicate when needed. It seemed as if she knew when she could and when she couldn’t do things.
“I think I’m going to take a walk and see how things went on training.” You said sitting up.
“Are ya gonna come back?” He asked fingers brushing your hand.
“Do you wanna me to come back?” You returned the question to him, just because you could, it didn’t mean you had to spend all time with him or that he wanted you around all the time.
“I want ya to come back.”
“So, I’m coming back.” You leaned in his direction and gave a peck on his lips before living, unfortunately not followed by Luna that decided to stay with the new love of her life.
When you found the others you learned Shane and Andrea had gone look for Sophia at an old abandoned compound. Glenn looked upset and Maggie seemed like she could kill someone. You looked for Rick and saw Lori and him far on the fields. ‘Why do I have the feeling that shit hit the fan?’, you thought. After some time they came back, but went separated ways afterwards. You saw the tension and approached Rick. “Hey! Rick! Is everything ok? You seem a little tense.”
He just hugged you, and for the second time that day he cried. “Lori’s pregnant…”
“Aren’t you happy? I mean, I understand the circumstances and all the questions about paternity, but this baby is going to be yours, right?” You caressed his back, maybe you shouldn’t have said the paternity thing.
“I’m happy, it’s… it’s mine, no matter what. It’s just… she tried to take the next day pills to abort, she didn’t even consult me.”
“She did what?” You got a little pissed, you know that a woman have the right to choose if they keep the pregnancy or not, but not telling Rick? He should at least know about her decision and also about the pregnancy before, they were married after all.
“She puked it, but… I wouldn’t even know if I didn’t found the pills in the tent or if she didn’t puke it.” You couldn’t understand well his feelings, but you tried to the maximum, because what Shane and her did, was already enough to shook him. “We’re gonna raise this baby and it’s gonna grow happy and well…”
“Yes, of course. We’re gonna love this baby so much, and protect it. It’ll have big crazy familly, but the baby will grow happy. There’s just one thing worrying me.” You said.
“What?” He looked at you concerned and worried that maybe you thought about something he didn’t.
“I’m not going to be the only aunt anymore, how can I be chosen the favorite with so many competition?”
He laughed, even with his teary eyes. He was expecting you to say something serious, and you came with the worry of not being the favorite aunt anymore. “Thank you.”
“I said you could always count on me, always.”
“We aren’t telling anyone yet, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell the others.” Well… it would be a little problem, because Glenn was the first to know about it, and you were almost certain that he probably already told Dale.
“Top secret, I’m not telling anyone.” ‘Maybe just Daryl’,you thought, ‘but he doesn’t talk much to anyone, so…’
Final Note: I know Daryl and Y/N gave a big big step with this one, cause they kinda admitted want to be physical with each other. But as we all know, Daryl has yet to mature a little and grow, well so does Reader.
Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2 @royaltysuite
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hbyrde36 · 9 months
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Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)
ao3 link
Summary:
‘86 baby. For the last few years, Eddie and his younger cousin Dustin, along with his friends, Mike, Lucas, and Will have been playing D&D together in the Wheeler’s basement. It’s a crazy home brew campaign that only contains loose elements from actual D&D and weaves in heavily embellished events from their real lives. They all play characters that are a version of themselves, and the many NPC’s are modeled after friends, family, and other people they know.
It’s been a wild fucking ride.
The game is set in Hawkins, but not quite their Hawkins. This version of their hometown has a dark secret, another dimension full of dangerous creatures hiding just on the other side of reality. 
The boys have been taking turns DMing. Mike started things off back at the beginning, then Dustin, Lucas, and most recently Eddie, who just wrapped up his part. It’s bittersweet. It was a blast to play through and the storyline was epic, but they didn’t defeat the bad guy this time. 
The party has been left in ruins. Eddie’s character is dead, one of their main(and favorite) NPC’s is in a coma, and the world has split apart at the seams.
They saved Will’s turn at running the game for last. It was a unanimous decision to have Will lead them in their ending for this massive campaign. Each boy had something special they brought to the table as a storyteller, but WIll always had the most creative ideas, and it was gonna take a hell of a lot of creativity to get them out of this mess when the game continued.
Especially if they wanted to finish it before Eddie graduated.
--------------------- Chapter 1 ------------------
*Eddie  - 1986*
“That was amazing, Eddie!” Will exclaimed, with a wide smile.
They’d been playing for over 10 hours and Eddie was exhausted. He was only a few years older than the other boys, so he knew it was a poor excuse, but he was getting too old for these marathon sessions. Where he felt dead on his feet, the other boys looked like they could go for another 10 hours, no sweat.
It was well past curfew for the younger boys but since it was Saturday, and spring break, it hadn’t taken much convincing to get all the kids' parents to agree to the late session, as long as Eddie got them all home safe. 
The small group said goodnight to Mike and Mrs. Wheeler before walking Lucas next door to his house. Then, Eddie, Dustin, and Will piled into the van. Technically Dustin’s house was closer but Eddie drove Will home first. He liked to drop his cousin off last, so he could stop in and say hello to his aunt if she was home. 
Eddie was a little distracted during the drive. He’d been trying to keep busy for the last few days, anything to help him forget about the fact that it’s the anniversary of Steve Harrington’s disappearance, but today that had been impossible. How could he not think about the guy who inspired one of the main characters in a game they had just spent all day playing?
When it's finally just him and Dustin in the car, he allows some of his thoughts to spill over. 
“It’s one thing that we use ourselves in this crazy story but do you ever think it’s fucked up that we kept Steve as an NPC after his disappearance?”
Dustin shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean, I didn’t know the guy. Mike always said he was an asshole, so, who cares?”
Eddie almost slammed on the breaks, it’s only for the sake of his beloved van that he didn’t. He can’t believe the kid would say something so insensitive.
“Dude he’s like your best friend, how can you say that!?”
“In the game, Eddie. He’s my character’s best friend, in the game . You always take it too seriously.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over them when Eddie didn’t respond, too upset and lost in his thoughts to make conversation. He pulled his van into the driveway behind his Aunt Claudia’s car and shut the ignition off. 
“Mike was wrong, y’know. Steve wasn’t an asshole, not really.” Eddie said, as he followed his cousin up the path to the front porch.
Dustin stopped abruptly, turning on his heel to look at Eddie. “Wait. Did you know him? Were you friends?”
Eddie sighed. His feelings about Steve Harrington had always been…complicated.
“I knew him my whole life. We were in the same grade till I got held back, and it’s a small town. We were never friends, exactly, but I saw him almost every day in school. We talked sometimes in the halls, on the bus. Maybe he was a bit of a dick to people occasionally, but who isn’t? That’s what kids do. He was always nice to me.”
Dustin stared at Eddie like he’d never seen him before.
“I'm sorry, man.” He stuttered. “I didn't know. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
It was Eddie’s turn to shrug. “I don’t really know. I guess I was trying to keep the real Steve and the game Steve separate in my head. I always thought he’d turn back up eventually. That maybe he’d just run away from home, and someday he would come back when he ran out of money or something.
“It could still be that. It's not like they ever found a body.” Dustin offered, not really sounding like he believed it, but wanting to be supportive.
“It’s been 2 years, almost to the day. The Harrington’s have more than enough money to hire fancy private detectives and shit. If he was alive, they’d have found him by now.”
-
*Steve 1983*
Steve Harrington had just started dating Nancy Wheeler when Will Byers went missing. Later, he would be embarrassed to admit it, but at the time he was a little pissed off that she wanted to ditch their date to join in the search for the boy. The kid was probably just out playing and lost track of time or something. Everyone knew Joyce wasn’t exactly the most stable person in the world. He knew Hopper only humored her with this search to get her off his back. 
When he told Nancy as much, she called him an asshole and stormed out. After sulking about it for an hour after she left, he realized she was right. He didn’t want to be that guy. He didn’t want to turn out like his dad. So, he threw some sneakers on and set out to join the search party. 
He walked through the woods looking for Hopper, or anyone else who could assign him an area to search. It started raining before he could find anyone, and he was just getting ready to head back to his car, when he heard rustling in the bushes off to his left. He turned in the direction of the sound, squinting in the dark to try and see if someone was there. He thought he saw movement and then a twig snapped. It sounded loud in the quiet of the trees.
It was so dark out here, he wished he had a flashlight or something. 
“Will?” Steve asked, taking a tentative step forward.
The only response was a quiet gasp from the dark. There was definitely someone there.
In a stroke of pure luck, the moon chose that moment to come out from behind the clouds. Her soft light illuminated things just enough for Steve to make out the shape of a small child with a shaved head, wearing a gigantic yellow t-shirt. This was definitely not Will Byers, but the kid sure did look like she was in trouble. 
“Hey there, I'm Steve. Do you need some help?”
The girl stared up at him with wide eyes. She didn’t answer, but she hadn’t run away from him yet either.
He tried again.
“Do you want to get out of the rain? My car isn’t far from here.” He didn’t step any closer but held his hand out to her to take, or not, whatever she chose.
The girl studied him for a long time. She looked into his eyes like she was trying to read his soul. He didn’t know what she saw there, but it must have been enough to convince her that he was safe. She nodded, pushing her tiny hand into his, and the two of them walked together back to the warmth and safety of Steve’s car. 
-
It wasn’t ideal, bringing the girl back to his house, but at least his parents were out of town. Once he’d gotten her into the car he had tried to take her to the hospital, or at least the police station. She’d shaken her head slowly, ominously, and uttered the first words he’d heard her speak. 
“Bad men.”
Steve didn’t know what to do, he was in way over his head. He needed help. He needed people much smarter than him to tell him what to do. The idea occurred to him to take her to Nancy’s. She was smart, and a girl. Surely she'd be better suited for this, she’d know the best course of action to take. But, the girl refused that too. She seemed to only trust Steve.
Tired, and out of options, he went home. 
He gathered some dry clothes for her, old sweatpants and a Hawkins High swim team t-shirt from his freshman year, and sent her into one of the guestrooms to change. The clothes would be huge on her but it’s the best he could do for now. 
It was late and he kind of expected her to just go to bed once she changed. They could always figure things out in the morning. But, a few minutes later, there she was, standing in his doorway, looking around the room curiously.
“It’s okay, you can come in.” He said, as he shut the closet door. “In fact, why don’t you come sit down. I think we should talk about some things.”
She looked hesitant, but joined him, cross-legged on the floor. She still hadn’t said more than those two words to him but clearly she could speak, and she understood him fine, so he had to try. They’d start small.
“What’s your name?” He asked, voice gentle as he could make it.
She shook her head. 
Somehow he knew it wasn’t a refusal, but more like a confusion on her part. 
He pointed to himself. “Steve. People call me Steve. What do people call you?”
She pressed her lips into a thin line and held her shaking wrist out to him.
He was confused at first, until he noticed the small writing there.
011
“Eleven?” He asked.
She nodded vigorously, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
That was, well, it was so not good. Shaved head and a number tattooed on her arm. Steve wasn’t a genius but even he knew that something was seriously messed up here. Who would do this to a little girl? Where were her parents?
“Is that what your parents call you?”
“Parents?” She sounded the word out slowly like she was saying it for the first time.
“Yea, like your mom or dad? Mama or Papa?”
“Papa" She agreed, nodding. "Bad man.”
O..k. Well that certainly answered some things.
“Is that why you were in the woods tonight? Were you running from Papa and the bad men?”
She nodded. 
That was enough for tonight, he decided. They were both tired and he really needed some time to think, to make a plan.
“I think we should get some sleep. We can talk some more in the morning. Okay?”
She blinked at him and nodded again. She definitely preferred non-verbal communication. It didn’t bother Steve, he could roll with it. 
“You can sleep in that other room, the bed in there is really comfy.” He said, rising up off the floor as she did the same.
“Where do you sleep?” She asked.
It was a little jarring, hearing her string together a full sentence like that. It was stilted, the way she spoke. Obviously talking wasn’t something she did very much.
“Here.” He answered, motioning to his bed. “This is my room. So i’ll be right across the hall if you need anything.”
She looked over her shoulder at the doorway and then back at Steve. She made no motion to leave.
“Would you rather stay here?” He guessed and there was that little smile again.
“Safer in here, with you.”
Steve’s heart broke. He kind of hadn’t thought about it until that moment, the night had been so full of weird things and it had all happened so fast, he hadn’t realized how utterly terrified Eleven was. He wanted to fold her up into his arms and squeeze her tight. Promise her that he’d keep her safe from the bad men of the world.
But he couldn't do that. He couldn't promise anything when he had no idea what was going on. He wasn’t sure if she would welcome his embrace either, so he held himself back. Instead he got into bed, scooching all the way over to the wall, and then patted the big space he’d left for her. 
She crawled onto the bed and almost immediately curled into a ball. He watched her as she settled on the pillow. She looked so small. He vowed to himself that he would do whatever he could to protect her. He’d hide her in this house forever if that’s what it took. He didn’t yet know what she’d been through, but he knew it was bad, and something no little kid should have to go through.
The rain had turned into a storm while they talked, and it raged now on the other side of his window. A loud crack of thunder startled them both. Eleven was shaking again. Steve laid his hand out, palm up, on the bed between them. An offering of comfort he thought she might accept, since she had taken his hand in the woods.
She hesitated for only a moment before placing her hand on top of his.
Part 2
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therealesino · 4 months
Note
This might be kinda random but I was wondering, what would all the Royaul characters be as tarot cards? What's their uprights and reverses? This question has been on my mind for quite a while since the latest update hahah
I really like this question, so I took some time to really think about it, and I think this is how I would see them.
Cross - wheel of fortune. Both reverse and upright. Wheel of fortune is luck, opportunity, change, destine, winning. It can also mean karma, and honestly, Cross is the personification of karma. (just ask Samuel and Carol uwu) Honestly, on that note, ask the harem too. They did nothing to deserve what happened to them, and they got to see justice served. UwU
Reversed, this is bad luck, disappointment, misfortune, mishap, unforeseen setback. We see this in the guard, and how he interacts with his father honestly. And we will be seeing this more as the story progresses.
Killer - 10 of swords (I'm sorry baby D:) Upright this means ruin, failure, bitterness, collapse, exhaustion, dead end, victimization, betrayal. All things that would describe royaul Killer. Killer has been betrayed, brutalized, and broken in ways we haven't fully seen yet. He's changed, and he's hurting.
Reversed, this is survival, improvement, healing, lessons learned, despair, relapse. So, not without hope, but Killer has been changed by his experience, and he will struggle with healing.
Nightmare - 5 of cups. The 5 of cups means loss, grief, disappointment, sadness, mourning, discontent, feeling let down. These are all things that would describe royaul Nightmare, especially after his father's betrayal and his mother's death.
But revered the 5 of cups means acceptance, moving on, finding peace, contentment, seeing positives. Which is how he differs from Killer. Killer struggles so much to move on, to let go, where as Nightmare is ready to shed who he was and be something new. Something better with Cross and the others. He's changed yes, but he's not going to let it stop him.
Dust - the star. The star represents hope, inspiration, positivity, faith, renewal, healing, rejuvenation. Which I think we see a lot in the collar and the wall. Dust was breaking down, falling apart at the seams, until Cross came along and pulled him back together. But he had to believe in Cross, and have a little faith, that everything was going to be okay.
The star reversed is hopelessness, despair, negativity, lack of faith, despondent all things we saw from Dust when he was in the parlor. He was giving up, on the verge of falling down, and giving into madness. His mind in tatters that it left him spiraling down.
Horror - four of wands. This card represents community, home, celebrations, reunions, parties, gatherings, stability, belonging. And let's be honest, without Horror, the others would have fallen apart in the parlor. He's the one who held them together, and kept them sane. We'll get to see Horror shine soon enough, and remind everyone why he was seen as a pillar of strength before the fall.
Reversed, it means lack of support, instability, feeling unwelcome, transience, lack of roots, home conflict. And well, we all know what happened when Tempo tried to separate the harem.
Epic - Justice. Epic is justice through and through. It represents justice, karma, consequence, accountability, law, truth, honesty, integrity, cause and effect. Much like Cross, Epic is karma and justice, and honesty. But unlike Cross, it comes at a much steeper price, and he does not always win. In fact, if you ask Epic, he losses a lot uwu
Reverse, justice is injustice, retribution, dishonesty, corruption, unfairness, avoiding accountability. Now I wouldn't say Epic is corrupt, far from it. But his life has been nothing but unfairness, and as a spy he is rife with dishonesty and retribution.
The avoiding accountability, well that will come later in his personal life UwU
EDIT
Not me forgetting Dream.
Dream - Death. The death card represents transformation, endings, change, transition, letting go, release. Which is not where Dream is at the moment.
He's stuck on the reverse of death, which is fear of change, repeating negative patterns, resisting change, stagnancy, decay.
Dream was so, so traumatized by what happened to him, so changed, so broken, that he's stuck for the first part of the story. He resists everything good that is being given to him and doesn't trust a single thing, leaving him falling apart on the way side.
Eventually, and after some stuff, he will transform into a being of change, and release. He will let go of some of his hurt, once he accepts that things are different, and honestly, thats okay.
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oddinary4bts · 11 months
Text
The Forgotten Spaces | ch 4 (jjk)
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☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?
☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there will be mature content in later chapters)
☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff
☆warnings: nausea, hangover, the park jimin effect, drinking, cursing? a time skip of a month
☆word count: 9.6k
☆a/n: why is posting making me anxious? fun fact, I'm posting from New York City this week! Went to the two first Agust D concerts ayyy
☆a/n pt2: always and forever thankful for @moonleeai and her dedicated work as my beta reader <3
☆series masterpost here
☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces
☆☆☆☆☆
For this meeting of our end of the world
It's with you that I want to sing
On the threshold of the memories the dead of today
Them that breathe for us
The forgotten spaces
Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)
☆☆☆☆☆
Saturday, May 19th
                Jungkook feels sick. Sick of everything, but mostly sick because his hungover has kept him in bed all day. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to pull up for dance practice later. All he knows is that his room has been spinning whenever he wakes up from naps, and that he fucked up majestically last night.
He doesn’t quite remember everything he said. He just remembers you, in his room, and then you being gone, replaced by Jimin and Taehyung.
The only thing he knows is that you know. The text that’s been sitting on his phone all day is reminder enough.
[11:12 am] You: hey, i hope ur okay this morning.. if u ever wanna talk about last night, we can grab a coffee or smth😌
He doesn’t know what to say, so he hasn’t replied. Because he’s not okay at all, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you.
Especially not when he hasn’t been able to eat anything since the first time he woke up today. It’s nearing 4 pm now, and he technically needs to be at the studio in two hours. Hobi already said he’d pick him up, but he’s still far from being presentable right now.
Jungkook groans, hiding his face in his pillow. You come up in his mind, the look of horror on your face last night making everything spin around him twice as much as before. Whenever he closes his eyes, you’re there, and he almost hopes to go blind.
Though he’s pretty sure you’d find a way to haunt him even if he was blind.
Another groan escapes him, and he turns his head to the side as someone knocks on his door. “Uh?” he lets out, loud enough for whoever it is to hear.
He’s surprised to see it’s Yoongi as the man opens the door. “I made you soup,” Yoongi says, and sure enough he is carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup on top of it.
Jungkook expects the thought of eating to make him feel worse, but surprisingly enough, no nausea rises inside of him. Instead, he realizes his stomach feels dreadfully empty, so he forces himself to sit, wincing at the throbbing pain at his temples.
It’s almost enough to make him forget the pain in his leg.
“Did you take any painkillers?” Yoongi asks as he puts down the tray at the foot of the bed. “And have you drank any water?”
“Yes and yes,” Jungkook replies, voice raucous from disuse. “Pretty sure I could use some more painkillers though.”
Yoongi nods, watching his younger friend carefully. “Do you need me to go get you some?”
Jungkook slowly shakes his head no. “I need to get out of bed if I want to make it to dance practice.”
At that Yoongi laughs. “Good luck with that.”
Jungkook frowns, glaring at Yoongi. “I’m very capable, I’ll have you know.”
“Your room smells like someone died in here.”
Though he’s usually sensitive to smell, Jungkook’s hungover state keeps him from being able to tell if the room really does stink. “Tae and Jimin cleaned up.”
“Then you must be the dead body,” Yoongi says, in that deadpan kind of way of his. He shrugs his shoulders, before adding, “Anyway, just eat and then take a shower. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”
Jungkook nods and watches as Yoongi makes to move out of his room. Yoongi’s at the door when Jungkook says, “Hyung?” Yoongi turns around, a quizzical look on his features. “Thank you for the soup.”
A smile breaks out across Yoongi’s face. “Anytime.”
And then Yoongi leaves, shutting the door softly behind him, and Jungkook is left alone once again. He looks down at the soup, and he realizes he really is hungry. He pulls the tray closer to him, making sure the soup doesn’t spill over the rim of the bowl, before grabbing the spoon.
The first spoonful of soup has his eyes fluttering shut with delight. Yoongi’s always been an amazing cook, and he hasn’t disappointed today. It awakens Jungkook more than anything else could have, and he’s finished the bowl of soup so quickly he almost considers eating the tray.
He’s still famished, but at least he’s got something in his stomach now. It’s enough to get him to stand from his bed, and though everything wobbles for a few seconds, he’s able to start gathering what he’ll need for his trip to the shower.
The shower really helps make him feel human again, and he’s relieved. As he steps out and looks at himself in the mirror, eyes dipping to his scars, he feels ready to confront the whole world if need be. He won’t have to bail on dance practice after all.
He’s down in the kitchen, eating some reheated pizza from last night, when Hobi arrives. His older friend pats him on the back, before putting down a Gatorade in front of him.
“Thought you’d need this,” he says, before climbing on the stool next to Jungkook.
Jungkook chuckles, immediately uncapping the Gatorade to take a long swig. It’s the last thing he needed to feel as good as new, and he offers Hobi a wide grin as soon as he puts the bottle down.
“I sure did,” he says, and the two friends laugh.
One thing that doesn’t change though, is the heaviness in Jungkook’s heart. Because if you know, then it’s just a matter of time before the rest of the crew knows. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to deal with everyone pitying him at the same time.
Maybe then he’ll just have to dip again.
Jin comes into the kitchen, and he stops as he sees Jungkook and Hobi at the counter. Valeria trails behind him, and Jungkook is struck dumb once more.
He never thought Jin would be able to pull the girl. He’s still surprised that she does exist, and whenever he’s alone with Jin he makes it a priority to remind his older friend.
“Sup’ losers,” Jin says as he starts moving again, heading towards the fridge to store the bottle of rosé wine he’s holding. “Surprised you were able to get out of bed.”
He says that over his shoulder looking right at Jungkook, who rolls his eyes. “I’m not a senior citizen like you, I’ve still got youth on my side.”
“Listen you little shit,” Jin bursts out, and Valeria starts laughing. It has the effect of a calming shower on Jin, who only glares at Jungkook. “You’re lucky the lady is here. Otherwise you’d be dead.”
“If you’d be able to catch me, that is.”
Jin looks towards Hobi.
“Don’t ask me for help,” Hobi says, raising his hands in defense. “You’re all alone on this.”
Jin’s head turns towards his girlfriend next. She’s shy, and Jungkook has never really talked to her before. So when he and Hobi look at her too, she blushes, before shrugging.
Jin lets out a childish whine, before saying, “Alright then, I’m old.”
“We like you like that.” Valeria is the one that speaks, and Jungkook chokes on a laugh as he turns back towards Jin.
“You heard her.”
Jin is fake-glaring at his girlfriend, but then his features soften. “Yeah, but at least she’s pretty.” And just like that he moves out of the kitchen, pulling Valeria behind him.
“I’ve been told I’m pretty too,” Jungkook yells behind Jin, and Hobi laughs next to him. “He’s so whipped,” Jungkook says after a few seconds, just to make sure Jin is out of earshot. His comment makes him think about another couple that’s starting to form, and he turns to look at Hobi. “And you? What’s up with Jiho?”
Hobi chokes, flushing fully red, up to the top of his ears. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook raises his eyebrows as he tries to hold in the shit-eating smirk that wants to form on his lips. “What do I mean? Why did you invite her yesterday?”
“I –” Hobi says. “I just thought it’d be fun to hang with the crew…”
“The crew?” The smirk has won now, and it breaks across Jungkook’s lips.
“Well, you know, just like…” Hobi falls silent, before letting out a strangled laugh. “I honestly didn’t see it coming.”
It’s cute, and Jungkook’s smirk turns into a softer smile. “To be honest, me neither.”
“She’s got balls though,” Hobi says, laughing lightly this time. “She’s the one who suggested we should go on a date, after dance practice last week.”
All that Jungkook remembers of that night is that he walked with you after. The rest is a blur of anxiety and his leg hurting. But he’s not surprised that Jiho’s got balls: she has to be your closest friend for a reason.
“You said yes, I hope,” Jungkook says.
Hobi slowly nods. “Yeah. But I invited her yesterday because of that too. And we’re going to a restaurant she suggested tomorrow.”
Jungkook doesn’t have to fake the happiness that takes over him right now. He’s happy for his friend, he really is. For his friends, plural. Because Taehyung, Jin, Yoongi and now Hobi… They’re all happy. They all have met someone, someone to care for them where no one else can. Strangely, it’s something Jungkook doesn’t really want for himself right now, maybe because he’s too stuck in the past.
Too stuck trying to heal from the crash, knowing some parts won’t ever heal and refusing to give up the fight for now.
It brings him back to you. To last night, and to whatever he said. He wishes he could remember the words, just to know how bad he fucked up, but he doesn’t. He won’t remember, and he won’t ask you.
He won’t take you up on your offer for coffee. He knows pity when he sees it, and he abhors it. Especially when it comes from you.
Instead, he focuses on Hobi, on the smile that lights up his friend’s face as he tells him about Jiho, about how they’ve been texting almost constantly. It’s all Hobi talks about on the ride to the studio, as he mentions stuff Jiho told him.
Stuff she told him about her when she was younger, but also about you. About how you’ve been friends since the first day of kindergarten, when someone pulled her braids and laughed at her and you punched them in the face.
He’s not surprised child you would punch someone that deserved it in the face. He’s pretty sure adult you would do it too.
Hobi parks his car next to the studio, and they are getting out of the vehicle when Jungkook notices you walking, hands buried in yet another oversized sweater. You’re wearing yoga pants underneath, and your hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. You catch his gaze a few seconds after he notices you, and he’s about to smile at you when you just look away, walking in the building without once glancing back.
What the fuck?
Jungkook frowns, especially as Hobi says, “What happened with Y/n last night?”
For some reason, Jungkook immediately grows defensive. He shrugs, a little vehemently before starting to walk towards the door. “Nothing happened. Just let it slip that I got into a car crash.”
“So she knows?” Hobi asks.
Another shrug of Jungkook’s shoulders. He buries his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, just to hide the way he’s clenching his fists even though he’s trying to stay calm. “Yeah. So everyone will know.”
“I don’t think so,” Hobi says, and Jungkook glances at him, brows knit together. “I mean, she’s good at keeping secrets.”
“She’s probably already told Jiho,” Jungkook points out as they reach the door. He doesn’t see you on the other side, and that’s the only reason why he opens it.
“Well, Jiho didn’t say anything about you, if that can reassure you.”
Hobi has felt the switch in his mood, hasn’t he? Because his voice is careful, as if he’s afraid to spook him.
“I don’t care,” Jungkook lies. Because he really does care. He doesn’t want everyone to know. Because it makes it too real, and for now he still can pretend it hasn’t happened.
He wishes for it to stay that way.
Hobi doesn’t push him more, and a tense silence moves between them. Jungkook wishes he could go back to his previous good mood about his friends’ happiness, but he’s back where he was last night. Somewhere in the dark of his own mind.
Not a good place to hang, if he’s honest.
He already knows he’s going to see you when he reaches the studio. Somehow, it still makes his heart constrict in his chest, that same way it did last night. As if someone is clenching their fist around it, and it makes it harder to breathe. He shrugs it off, taking a deep breath to calm down, before looking around.
Everyone but Heather is already here. And no one is looking at him, no one seems surprised or seems to be pitying him. You don’t even act like you noticed him entering – you take off your sweater, dropping it in a corner of the room with your phone and your keys. He hates it, but his eyes follow the curves of your body, and he wants to curse you for only wearing a sports bra.
Your body is lean, the results of dancing for most of your life with a mother that used to be a ballerina. Jungkook is pretty sure she’s controlled everything you ate growing up, and drilled it so hard into your head that you can’t stand bad food now. He remembers, when you were younger and someone brought cake to practice to celebrate a birthday, you always barely took a bite before saying you were full. You claimed you didn’t like cake, but he always noticed the way you eyed it while everyone else ate.
He used to make fun of you for it, and today he knows he was an asshole. All he can hope is that your relationship with food is better now. And it looks like it is – you’re not as thin as you were before. You look healthy, and your skin and hair are glowing.
It takes him a few good seconds to realize he’s staring, as if something about you has changed. And he doesn’t know what changed, just knows that he feels struck.
You notice him staring, and you furrow your brows. “What are you looking at?”
It’s said aggressively. As if you’re angry. He only then realizes that you might be, and maybe that’s why you ignored him outside. He can’t for the life of himself figure out why you’d be angry – did he say something yesterday?
“Nothing,” he replies, and he looks away as his heart beats out of his chest.
You act like that for the whole of practice. For all the pity looks Heather throws his way, you send twice as many glares. It feels like last night never happened, and maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was just a nightmare, and he never told you everything.
He knows you know though, because whenever he puts too much weight on his leg as he demonstrates the movements he has in mind, you clench your jaw. A muscle feathers under your skin, and then you look away. Shame passes on your features, and then it’s gone to be replaced with a scowl.
He’s getting tired of it by the end of practice, so he pulls you aside to talk. Jiho stubbornly stays next to you, until Hobi walks up to her and asks if he can talk to her, probably sensing that Jungkook needs some time alone with you.
You both glare at each other while the others filter out, wishing you good night. Jungkook hears Scottie teasing Lance about meeting up with a girl, and the last thing he hears is Lance telling him to fuck off before everyone is finally out.
It takes almost twenty seconds before you blink and say, “What do you want?”
“What’s wrong with you?” he asks, folding his arms on his chest as he cocks an eyebrow.
You scoff. “With me? Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”
Do you know or do you not? He’s a little confused as you just look at him, clearly expecting an answer. He’s dumbfounded – the last thing he expected from telling you everything was you being furious at him.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.
It’s just a back and forth of questions at this point, with no visible answers in the distance. Indeed, you just say, “Do you think you did something wrong?”
It’s absurd, and it makes him laugh. Which, he reckons, might be taken as insulting. And of course you take it the bad way, because how else would you take it?
“You’re so fucking oblivious,” you grumble.
He’s still laughing. He wants to stop, but for some reason he cannot.
“What’s so funny?” you enquire, and your cheeks are turning red.
“Just,” he starts, “I don’t know. The last thing I expected from last night was you getting angry at me.”
You roll your eyes. “If you were looking for pity you won’t get any from me.”
That’s the thing. He doesn’t want any pity from you. And you saying so makes something warm blossom in his chest, and it sobers him up. His face falls serious, and he holds your gaze long enough that you raise your eyebrows in question.
“Thank you,” he says.
You scoff. “You’re fucking weird, Jeon.”
He shrugs. “That’s why you like me, uh?”
Your eyes widen, and you look so appalled he just starts laughing again. “Quite the opposite actually,” you say even though he’s laughing. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know,” he repeats. “I’m just relieved you haven’t changed.”
He really is. You have no idea how much.
“Okay?” you let out, and it sounds like a question. You scoff again, before adding, “Why didn’t you reply to my text?”
Oh, so this is what it’s about. You’re upset because he ignored your text. It feels absurd and stupid and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, so Jungkook just smiles and shrugs. “I genuinely don’t really want to talk about last night. I’m all okay today.”
And he does think he is, now that he’s talking to you.
You remain silent for a while, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip. You then brush a strand of hair that’s fallen from your ponytail behind your ear, nodding your head. “Understood. Won’t be nice to you again.”
“Oh please,” Jungkook teases. “You can’t resist it.”
He’s happy. The more he talks to you, the happier he is. He feels like he’s floating, and he wishes you’d both stay right then and there, in the studio, until the end of time.
He hasn’t felt so light in forever.
“Oh, I can, Jeon.” You fold your arms on your chest, imitating his posture. “Watch me.”
But there’s a teasing glint in your eyes, probably awakened by his own teasing demeanour.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text,” he apologizes, because he feels like he needs to clear the air with you. He doesn’t want you to be upset with him anymore. “I genuinely didn’t know what to say, and I figured I was going to see you tonight anyway.”
You look away for the first time in the conversation. Your eyes move down, and he’s pretty sure you’re looking at the scar on his stomach. It makes it itch, and if he weren’t with you, he’d scratch it. But he resists, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you look up at his eyes again.
“Well, forget I suggested coffee then,” you say. You wink at him. “I’ll start being a bitch again now.”
“Please do.”
You look startled. “You want me to be a bitch?”
He laughs, scratching the nape of his neck. “No.” He scrunches up his nose, thinking really hard about what he wants to say. Only he doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he’s never talked to you before in his whole life. He can barely remember breaking down in front of you not even twenty-four hours ago. “Yes? Just be your same usual self.”
“Noted,” you say, nodding your head forcefully.
It’s cute, and it makes your ponytail swing behind you. He has half a thought to reach and pull on it, just to annoy you, but he resists.
Instead, he looks around, before resuming his attention on you. “Just, one thing.”
You hold his gaze, cocking an eyebrow in question as you purse your lips. “Mmh?”
“Please don’t tell the others,” he says. It’s a little more serious than he was just a second ago, but he feels like it’s needed to get the point across. “I’d prefer if they didn’t know.”
The corners of your lips stretch into a small, soft smile. “I didn’t plan on telling anyone. I figured you’re the one that should tell them if you want to.” You glance towards the door, and you’re not watching him when you add, “I think Bridget told Heather though. And I don’t know if Heather will remain silent”.
He doesn’t care if Heather tells the others. He just doesn’t want you to do it. It makes no sense, but at the same time it makes all the sense in the world to him.
“Yeah, I think she knows too.” He pulls at his piercing, letting out a small sigh. “I’ll talk to her.”
You nod, and the room falls silent. He wishes he had more to tell you, but it seems you’ve run out of conversation topics, because you eventually wet your lips and say, “Well, I guess I’ll be going home now”. And then you laugh, shaking your head. “I was supposed to leave with Jiho, but I’m pretty sure she’s gone with Hobi.”
“Hobi talked about her for like an hour before we got here,” Jungkook admits, relieved that you provided a topic. “They’re going on a date tomorrow.”
You smile, widely, and he reckons you’re like him. Your friends’ happiness makes you happy, and happiness truly looks good on you. It makes your eyes sparkle, and you look like a kid who’s just received the perfect gift on Christmas morning.
“I know!” you yelp, taking him by surprise when you even clap your hands. “They’re going to the restaurant I suggested.”
There’s something warm in Jungkook’s chest. It just becomes stronger and stronger the more he looks at you, and it makes him feel wary. Enough so that he looks away and tries to tame it down.
“I hope everything will work out for them,” he says, and he scrapes his throat because the warmth is choking him up now.
“I’m sure it will”, you reply, confidently. “Jiho has been into him for like three years now.”
Jungkook feels bad for her, because three years ago Hobi was still with his ex. But it seems patience makes miracles, because she’s getting a date with Hobi now, isn’t she?
It makes Jungkook realize that sometimes, the right person for someone might have been around all along. They’ve just been blind to it. Now, that’s a thought that makes him want to get out of this room. To flee this cloud before it breaks, and he meets your gaze.
You’re watching him already, with a wistful look on your features. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
He hates it. Hates everything that your little sentence makes him feel, so he just nods his head, before saying, “It’s getting late, I should hurry if I want to catch the bus”.           
Your eyes widen. “I’ll order you a Lyft, come on.”
“No!” he refuses. “It’s all good.”
“But it’s late,” you insist, and you bend down to grab your phone on your sweater.
It offers Jungkook a straight view to your cleavage, and he freezes, right as pink dusts his cheeks. “I swear,” he reassures you, adding your name before continuing, “I’d rather take the bus. But thank you for the offer.”
You fake-glare at him. “Right, I’m supposed to be a bitch anyway.” You fold your arms on your chest, cocking an eyebrow arrogantly, and you look just like you’ve always looked when you say, “What the fuck are you still doing here? You’re wasting my oxygen.”
It makes the both of you laugh, and Jungkook just shakes his head. “Please, I know you love looking at me.”
You look offended, somehow, and you scoff. “I’d rather gouge my eyeballs out of my head instead of having to look at you for a second longer.”
“Ouch, that was rough.”
“You deserved it.” You shrug your shoulders, before motioning at the door in a swooshing motion. “Now, go lick your wounds somewhere else.”
“Aren’t you leaving too?”
You glare at him now, and you’re so good at it he almost thinks you’re angry. “Why, do you want to walk me home?”
His mouth falls open. Would you let him walk you home? For some reason, he’s pretty sure you’ll punch him if he even suggests it. So instead, he chooses to say, “And suffer the whole way? Nah, I’m good.”
It’s a low-key mention of his injury. You immediately catch on to it, and Jungkook hates the look that takes over your features. He thought that you didn’t have pity for him in you, but it seems you do. You do and it feels like the fist around his heart is back, and the air burns a little.
You seem like you want to say something, but he’s quicker than you.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Jungkook.”
“No, I’m serious, don’t you fucking look at me like that.”
And just like that the light atmosphere shifted back into darkness.
You scoff, shaking your head. “And here I was starting to think that you’re a decent guy. Never mind, Jeon.” You scoff once more, and the corners of your mouth are pulled down in a look of pure disgust. “I’m going home.”
He lets you go. He doesn’t even look at you as you pick up your stuff and leave, not once glancing back.
No matter how enjoyable this interlude in your usual relationship was, Jungkook prefers the usual hate. It’s safer, more comfortable, and a habit that protects him from the vulnerability.
Why then is he staring at your text two hours later in his bed at home, unable to fall asleep, wishing he didn’t say what he did?
In all truth, he knows why, he just doesn’t want to formulate the thought. Doesn’t want to give it the power to exist in the confines of his brain. So he ignores it, shoves the warmth in his chest so far down in the hole occupied by his lost dream that he can’t really feel it anymore.
Only then does he feel safe again, but he still can’t fall asleep.
He hopes you’re not struggling with insomnia as much as he is.
Thursday, June 28th
                The auditions for nationals are in a week. Seven days, and you’re still not sure you’ve mastered the choreography well. You’re anxious – have been for weeks now – and all you want is to lie down on the floor until everything is over.
Which, coincidentally, is what Lance has been doing for the last fifteen minutes, claiming he needed a break from Jungkook. Because Jungkook is worse than Hobi, making you repeat the choreography for stupid unnecessary things like Jiho’s hair was in her face or Scottie’s shirt rode too high while he was doing a certain move.
In May, when you learned about what happened to Jungkook, you had a few days of feeling bad for him. Wishing you didn’t get in a fight with him during that dance practice, wishing your relationship with him wasn’t just hateful.
It feels like there’s been too much history between you for it to ever change. Because you saw a glimpse of something else, for a few minutes that night. Jungkook was more open, calmer, and his expressions were set in a softer look. It was easier to be around him, more enjoyable, and you wished for a fleeting moment that it could last.
Alas, it only lasted a few minutes before he moved back to the harsh look he reserved for you, only because he assumed you were pitying him. Which, maybe you were. You don’t know. It’s hard to tell when you haven’t been through what he has, and when you can tell he suffers.
But you’re not sure if it’s pity or concern. You don’t think he can tell the difference either.
“Lance,” you grumble as you finish the choreography, heart beating out of your chest. “Get the fuck up we need you.”
Lance mumbles something incoherent, before turning his head away from where you’re glaring at him. It makes you look up to catch Jungkook’s gaze, and he immediately looks away the moment your eyes meet. He’s been doing that a lot now too. Where he used to glare at you or smirk insufferably, Jungkook just ignores you.
You don’t think you like it. But you’ve gotten used to it over the course of the last few weeks, so you just roll along with it now.
You’ve kept his secret safe. You thought it would be hard, especially to hide it from Jiho, but after a few days it just became normal. Jiho has more to tell you about Hobi anyway.
Because they’ve found time to go on dates every week since then. Sweet dates, with him picking her up and bringing her flowers and doing things that he knows make her happy. Even at dance practice, everyone can see how they are sickly into each other. You’re happy for Jiho, you really are, but it’s starting to feel a little lonely.
At least you’ve got Jo and the other girls now too. You’ve met the mysterious Kiko now – a sweet girl with the voice of an angel – and your girl’s nights with Jiho have turned into Thirsty Thursdays. You haven’t understood the meaning of the Thirsty yet, considering all of them are dating now, but you just roll along with it.
It’s led to fun nights, and that really is the only thing that matters, right?
Tonight makes no exception. Jiho, Heather and you have dance practice until 10 pm, and then you’re supposed to meet with the girls at a bar on their side of town. Which means you’re already dressed up, though you put on a sports skirt to avoid showing off your ass to the rest of the boys. Not that it would matter – Scottie is not interested in women at all, Lance only has eyes for Chaeyeon now, Hobi is way too respectful for that and Jungkook doesn’t even look at you anymore.
You scoff, glancing away from Jungkook to settle your gaze back on Lance. “Get up,” you repeat, before walking over to him to kick him in the ribs. “Or I’ll tell Chaeyeon how much of a loser you are.”
He fakes offence. “Me, a loser? Nah, we’re going to win this shit.”
The sudden confidence is a boost to everyone’s mood, and soon enough you’re back to dancing, with a much-needed vigor. It’s enough that Jungkook lets you go after you’ve done the choreographies two times more, telling everyone they did a good job.
“Same time Saturday,” he says.
You think you notice him looking at you in the mirror, but as soon as you turn your head in that direction he’s already glanced away, focusing himself on typing something on his phone.
“We know,” Lance says jokingly, before punching Jungkook in the shoulder.
Jungkook snickers, and he deadpans, “You were two hours late last week because you were too busy with your girlfriend”.
“Can’t blame me,” Lance says, shrugging his shoulders. “Chae comes first, the rest of you can suck it up.” It’s cute and endearing, and your heart feels warm as Lance glances your way. You have no idea what brings him to think of that, but he scans the whole room before suggesting, “We should rent a cottage. After the auditions. We should all get shitfaced for three days straight.”
Hobi laughs from where he’s standing next to Jiho. “Scottie is too young for that.”
“Hey, I’m twenty-two!” Scottie exclaims. “I can get shitfaced.”
“You’re a baby,” Heather puts in. “Just accept it. I refuse to acknowledge the fact you are major now.”
Scottie rolls his eyes, placing a sassy fist on his hip. “Then sucks to be you because I am, and I’m going to get shitfaced with Lance. Right?”
Lance has a large grin on his lips. “Damn fucking right.”
“As long as we get a cottage with a hot tub I’m in,” Jiho says innocently. Hobi cocks an eyebrow as he looks at her, as if he didn’t just say Scottie can’t go. “What?” Jiho adds, shrugging her shoulders. “A cottage weekend does sound like fun.”
It does. It really does. You haven’t gone to the countryside in years now, and you can already picture a cute, picturesque cottage on the side of a lake, with a long quay you can lie on and stargaze. The cottage has a fireplace, a circle of rock in the middle of which flames burn at night until they turn to embers and you roast marshmallows on it. You can almost feel the warmth of the hot tub, and the laughter of friends seems to almost overtake your ears…
Yeah, you’re due for a trip out of the city.
“I want marshmallows,” you say, sighing dreamily. “I haven’t had marshmallows since like…”
“Since the camping trip when we were thirteen? When Jisung got shit on by that seagull?”
You burst out laughing at the same time as Jiho does, right as the memory comes back to you. It had been a fun camping trip, with Jiho’s parents renting a camper. They had invited you along on their trip, and you had gone to the beach with them.
Good memories indeed.
Your laughter recedes, and you notice everyone is looking at you. Even Jungkook. His eyes are a little widened, as if he’s surprised, and there’s a light flush on his cheeks when he looks away.
It’s the strangest sight to see, and you’re unable to shake the feeling away while you get ready with Jiho later to rush to the bar where Jo and the others are already waiting for you. Jiho notices your unease as she applies your eyeliner.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” you immediately say, way too fast for it to sound casual.
She just cocks an eyebrow and keeps applying the makeup. At least she has the decency to ignore the blush that creeps on your cheeks.
“It’s just…” you sigh, and turn your head when she starts to work on your second eye. “I don’t know.”
“Jungkook?”
You want to kill her for knowing you so well, so you remain silent, choosing peace over violence.
“I’m going to say something right now that might make you want to kill me,” Jiho says, lips pursed.
“I would advise not saying it,” you mumble and she playfully pats your cheek.
“Don’t move.” You pout, but obey nonetheless. She continues working in silence for a time, before saying, “I know about the accident”.
Your heart stops in your chest, and you’re pretty sure all colours have drained out of your features. You still try to play it cool, saying, “What accident?”
“February last year? Jungkook got injured, then ghosted us. Ring a bell?”
You can’t really pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about, can you? “How do you know?”
“Hobi told me,” she admits. “He made me promise to never talk about it, but he mentioned you knew already.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t blame you for not telling me,” she reassures you, having sensed your discomfort. “Actually, it tells a lot about your relationship with JK that you respected his decision.”
You scoff as she pulls the eyeliner away from your face, putting it down on her vanity to grab her La Neige lip tint. “My relationship with Jungkook? We’re not even friends.”
“Why though?”
It’s a good question that just pisses you off further. “Because he’s a dick. He told me about the accident and got angry at me for looking concerned and then he started ignoring me.” You chuckle bitterly. “It’s not like I’m going to try and make him talk to me. I don’t give a shit about him.”
Jiho is silent for a long time. Far too long for it to be normal. Like she doesn’t believe you at all and is waiting for you to realize. You’re just as stubborn, so you don’t say anything as she puts the lip tint on her pretty lips.
It makes for an awkward two minutes, but she’s the one that breaks first. “You don’t believe that.”
You furrow your brows. “Why the fuck would you say that?”
She laughs. Not in a mean way, probably just because your cheeks are burning and she believes she can read you like the back of her hand. “Because you don’t believe that.”
You fold your arms on your chest, sitting back in the chair she’s forced you to sit in while she did your eyeliner. You remain silent once again, clenching your jaw as you choose not to get upset. You’re not sure it works, and Jiho just playfully punches you on the shoulder.
“Calm down, babe,” she says. “He’s changed.”
“He’s still an ass with me,” you point out. “He’s changed with the rest of you guys, but he’s even worse with me. He’s been completely ignoring me for weeks.”
“Because he’s scared of what you think about him.”
“He doesn’t give a shit about what I think of him? He’s made that clear enough.” Jiho goes back to her infuriating silence. And you don’t want the conversation to keep going in that direction, so you ask, “How has it been going with Hobi anyway?”
She flushes red as she always does whenever Hobi is mentioned. “Do not think this conversation is over,” she says, threatening you with the lip tint bottle. “But it’s been…” She chuckles. “It’s been great. I think we’re pretty much official now.”
It’s disgustingly cute. It makes you think of Lance and Chaeyeon, of Heather and Bridget, Jo and Taehyung and Kiko and Yoongi…
It makes you feel lonely, like Lance did earlier. It’s a feeling you’ve grown accustomed to growing up, so it’s easy to let it slide over you instead of letting it fester inside.
“Look at you,” you say teasingly. “Who knew you’d pull your lifelong crush?”
“Lifelong?” she snickers. “I’ve had a crush on him for like two years.”
You throw a no-bullshit look her way.
“Okay maybe three…”
It makes you both laugh, and it diffuses the situation that was escalating just a moment ago. You’re relieved, because you’re pretty sure if she mentioned Jungkook just once more you would have blown up in her face.
You take shots downstairs with Jisung and Felix before going, and you giggle in the Lyft on the way to the bar the other girls chose. As per usual, you’re the two last to get there – fashionably late is the way to go, right?
It takes you way too long to realize girl’s night will in fact not be girl’s night. Yoongi is the first you notice, maybe because he’s looking at the exit when you walk in, as if he’s just waiting for the right time to bail. He nods as he sees you, and Kiko turns. She smiles her shy smile, the one that doesn’t show her teeth, and she nods as well, almost a copycat of her boyfriend.
Then it’s like a domino effect, and everyone turns to look at you. Nine pairs of eyes, all on you: Jin, Valeria, Taehyung, Jo, Bridget, Heather, Kiko, Yoongi and Jimin. The latter offers you a secretive smile.
You might have been texting him a little. Nothing serious, but he does appear in your dms once in a while, replying to a story you posted. You always decided to ignore him, only liking his replies, but tonight there’s something in the way Park Jimin is looking at you, sitting there, that makes something warm trickle down your spine.
Maybe because of your conversation with Jiho. It’s hard to tell, and your best friend pulls you towards the rest of the group before you can figure it out. The feeling only increases tenfold when you stop next to the table, and Jimin gets up to greet you, quickly followed by the others.
You hug everyone, and Jo holds you a second longer. “Sorry for inviting the rest, Tae begged and I figured…” You pull away from the hug, and she does have a sheepish look on her features. “Thirsty Thursday doesn’t mean no men?”
You laugh at that comment, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”
And really, you don’t mind. You like hanging out with them all. You’re relieved they didn’t think to invite Jungkook though, because one thing you’ve figured is that, where Jimin goes Jungkook usually follows.
The night starts off with talking and a few drinks with the group, until you find yourself intoxicated more than you have initially planned to. It doesn’t really matter – you have a day off tomorrow at the internship. Indeed, it only goes from Monday to Thursday, since the lawyer you follow takes the day off on Fridays for the whole of summer.
So you drink, and when they clear a spot for the dancefloor, you let Jiho pull you to it. Let her dance with you, like you usually do when you’re trying to get a guy’s attention. You reckon she’s drunker than you – she’s a giggly mess and she keeps stepping on your feet, which she never usually does. It’s fun, and you feel some anxiety peel away from your skin as if you’re an onion and someone’s about to cut you up to pieces.
You do feel like somebody is about to cut you up to pieces when Jimin moves closer to you, and the smirk on his lips sets something on fire inside of you. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. It doesn’t matter because you pull away from Jiho to move closer to him, almost instinctively.
It’s like he fits like a glove. You face him, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him into the dance as his hands find your waist. One of them slips to your back, and he presses you against him as you move to the music, the rhythm a sensual dance between the two of you.
“Hello, you,” he purrs, and you look up at him.
“Hello,” you reply in the same tone, and he makes you spin until your back is facing him. He’s impossibly close and as his hands guide your hips, your eyes trail up.
You entirely stop moving when your gaze meets Jungkook. He’s standing near the door, clad in different clothes than earlier today, but in that same black shade he seems to adore. He also has a chain, with large links that give a rougher vibe to him.
The look on his features is rough too, especially as Jimin leans to speak into your ear. “I thought you might want to piss him off.”
You chuckle, turning your head to gaze at the man behind you over your shoulder. It brings your face way too close to his, and you have to resist the lava in your blood that makes you want to close the gap.
It’s the self-destructive kind of magma, and you don’t feel like indulging in it. Instead, you purr, “Why do you think I’d want to piss him off?”
Jimin chuckles, and you turn your head away from him because damn him, his lips really are inviting. “He’s been a little shit at home. I assume he’s been that way with you too.”
You laugh, and it’s bitter, angry. It surprises even you. “He’s been ignoring me.” You turn in Jimin’s arms, until you’re facing him. You keep your head hung low, enough so that he can’t lean down and press his lips against yours. Jimin is a gentleman though, you know he’d never kiss you without asking for consent first.
“Explains why he’s been a little shit then,” he says matter-of-factly. He straightens a little, putting a comfortable distance between your faces.
“And you think this little show is going to piss him off?”
He smirks, tilting his head to the side. All the while he’s been making you move to the music, and you know to outside gazes you look like you’re flirting. Can planning to piss Jeon Jungkook off count as flirting?
“Oh, I know it will,” Jimin says, shrugging his shoulders. “Jungkook wears his emotions on his face.”
Maybe he does. Around you, his emotion is usually mostly contempt, so you don’t really know.
“What do you gain from pissing him off?” you ask, and you genuinely wonder. What is Jimin trying to do?
“Nothing,” he admits. He purses his lips, before offering you yet another dashing smile. “Mostly I just want to see what he’ll do.”
Jimin pulls you a little closer, and his forehead presses against yours.
“What are you doing?” you murmur, as your heart beats like a hammer against your ribcage. Hell, even if you’re not really into Jimin like that, he’s Park Jimin. You don’t think anyone in their right mind could stay indifferent to him.
“He’s looking right now,” he replies. He chuckles, before saying, “Now, let me tell you what you’re going to do”. His lips move so close to you it feels as if your brain is short-circuiting in your head. “You’re going to act as if I’ve just offended you, and you go to the bathroom.”
“Why?”
“He’ll follow, and maybe he’ll finally…”
Jimin never finishes his sentence. Someone bumps into you, and it breaks the contact between you and him. Instead of pulling you back in, Jimin motions towards the bathroom, offering you an encouraging smile. You’re stunned for a moment, and you hope it does the trick. You hope you really do look offended, because in truth, you were enjoying Jimin’s proximity.
You don’t like that you were. It feels like you shouldn’t be enjoying his proximity at all. He’s not even really your friend anyway.
You don’t have a choice but to follow his advice though, and you turn around, beelining straight to the bathroom. You make your way through the crowd, scrunching up your nose in disgust at the sweaty guy your hand accidentally touched, and a few seconds later you finally find the line to the bathroom.
It’s a unisex bathroom, with three stalls that are currently all occupied. There’s a guy in front of you, and you glare at him as he smiles at you. He frowns, but it works and he turns back around. A stall frees up a little under a minute later, and you’re mindlessly watching a girl washing her hands when a large hand finds the small of your back.
You startle, and you turn around fully ready to knock some sense into whoever it is, until you see it’s Jungkook.
You freeze for a few seconds, and then let out a laugh as you realize whatever Jimin was doing worked.
“You and Jimin, uh,” Jungkook says bitterly, and his hand clenches into a fist where it falls at his side.
You cock your head to the side. “So you’re talking to me now?”
He plays with his piercing in silence, before scoffing. “I was never not talking to you.” You widen your eyes and let out a disbelieved laugh as you fold your arms on your chest. “I’m serious,” he adds. “I just…”
“Don’t even try to explain, Jeon, save your oxygen.”
He’s frowning now, and you reckon he probably has the same expression on his features that you have on yours. “I thought you said you weren’t going to flirt with Jimin.”
“That was over a month ago,” you point out. “People change, unless you haven’t noticed.”
“Oh, I know,” he says, chuckling bitterly. “But Jimin? There are dozens of guys in this bar, can’t you just choose someone else to fuck?”
You’re starting to see red. You feel it in the tremble that starts deep down in your core, before taking over the whole of your body. “I’m not going to fuck Jimin. He’s just a friend.”
“You dance with all of your friends like that?”
You turn away from him, hoping one of the stalls will be free now, but you’re in no luck. He grabs your arm, forcing you to turn back around. Your eyes drop to his hand on your arm. His fingers are gentle, way gentler than his features. “Fucking let go of me,” you snap. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t know what part of getting into an accident made you want to act like you’re just a fucking victim of everything around you but my life has nothing to do with yours. Why do you fucking care?”
He looks stunned. “I… What?”
His confusion douses your fury, and you furrow your brows. “What do you mean, what?”
“I don’t care.”
You don’t know who he is trying to convince right now. And you don’t feel like getting to the bottom of it with him. In fact, you really don’t like the look on his face, and you just want to put distance between you and him. So you roll your eyes, before saying, “Alright then, leave me alone, Jeon. I won’t dance with Jimin again.”
He doesn’t even look happy or relieved that you’re saying that. Instead, his features fall a little, moving from a frown to a sad expression that makes something stir in your chest. “I… If you want to get with Jimin, you can.”
Now, you really are confused. “You come here to be a little bitch about this all and now you’re saying it’s fine?”
He pulls at his piercing, and his eyes flicker to the man that walks past you, indicating that a stall must be free now. “Yeah. If that’s what you want, who am I to tell you not to do it?”
You don’t know. You have no idea how the conversation managed to take this turn, so you wet your lips, cocking an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “I was being a dick. You’re right, I should stop acting like I’m a fucking victim.”
Now, your heart really does ache in your chest. Because what you said was inconsiderate, and you don’t even really mean it. Not the way that he interpreted it though, that’s for sure.
“Jungkook…”
“No, it’s really okay,” he says. He still looks sad, but he offers you a tight-lipped smile. “I’m sorry.”
Just like that he’s walking away, and why are you following him? You stop him by grabbing his arm, just like he did to you a moment ago. You hold on to him longer than he did to you, because his skin is warm under your fingers. His tattoos didn’t take away the softness of his skin, and you don’t really want to let him go. Not just yet.
“I didn’t mean it.” You look him in the eyes as he turns just enough so that his gaze can meet yours. “I got angry.”
“No but you’re right,” he insists. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know why I don’t like you talking to Jimin. You can do whatever you want.”
You let his arm go, albeit reluctantly. “If it can reassure you, I am not interested in Jimin like that. Like yes, he’s attractive, but I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”
At that Jungkook laughs. It’s somehow melancholic, and you reckon you’ve brought his demons to the forefront of his mind tonight. “Jimin-hyung doesn’t do relationships, you’re in luck.”
“No,” you grumble, and you shut your eyes, as if you have to explain something to a thick-headed five years old. “I’m really not interested in Jimin. Like at all.” Your eyelids flutter open, and you catch the movement of Jungkook’s eyes as they snap away from you.
“Okay,” he lets out flatly. “I’m sorry I ruined it.”
He looks genuine. You’d be angry at him if he didn’t really look as genuine as he does right now.
“Nothing’s ruined, I promise,” you reassure him and you offer him a small smile. “I was tired of dancing anyway.”
The word ‘dancing’ has his gaze trail to the dancefloor, and he bites at his piercing before glancing back at you. “Oh.”
You realize this is awkward. Because what you said really seems to have upset Jungkook. And you can’t really blame him, it was low. The only thing is, you’re not close enough to him to make him understand. So all you can do when he says he’s going to head home is wish him goodnight.
You feel horrible as you watch him leave, and he’s only just crossed the doors leading to the world outside when you break into a small jog. You make it outside in a hurry, just to see he’s leaning against the wall next to the door.
He seems startled to see you, and you feel just as startled to see he hasn’t really left yet.
“I was wondering,” you let out, and you take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Are you going to come to the cottage? You didn’t say you would earlier.”
You have no idea why that’s come to your mind, but you’re just going to roll with it.
“Uh.” He glances down at his phone in his hand. “Am I even invited?”
You wet your lips, shrugging. “I mean, you’re part of the crew, of course you are.”
He holds your gaze for so long you think the Earth has time to revolve around the sun once before he speaks again. “Am I really part of the crew?”
You reckon he might need to hear it, so you don’t hesitate when you say, “Of course. We’d be nothing without you.”
At that the sad expression on his features melts away. It does so slowly, starting with his eyes. They crinkle at the corners, sparkling a little, and then it trickles down his face, until the corners of his lips tug upwards. It makes you smile too, and you just gaze at each other like that for a few heartbeats. It feels intimate, miles away from the usual bickering and hatred that you share.
It’s new, but it doesn’t feel scary. Jungkook doesn’t feel scary when he’s smiling softly.
“Yes, I’ll come,” he finally says.
It makes you blink, and it’s like the scene is coming back into focus. You realize there are a couple of people smoking a few meters away, and a soft breeze pushes the smoke towards you. You hate the smell, but somehow you can’t shake the smile from your lips.
“Good.” You nod once, and you glance towards the door. “I guess… I guess I’ll let you go home then.”
He nods too, and he tilts his head to the side. He’s surveying you with those big eyes of his. They shine with stars right now, as if his happiness brings the constellations to his gaze. Or maybe it’s just the reflection from the streetlights and car headlights, but it’s beautiful.
Jungkook has beautiful eyes.
“Just waiting for a Lyft,” he says, motioning up with his phone.
You worry at your lips, before flattening your skirt mindlessly. “Is it going to be here anytime soon?”
He looks at the rectangle of light, face falling serious. It takes him a few seconds, but then he nods. “Yep. Should pull up pretty much now.”
You glance at the two sides of the street, and sure enough a car slows down until it stops in front of you. “Alright then,” you say. “Good night, Jeon.”
You don’t usually say his last name like you said it just now. It feels different, in all the right ways that it can.
“Good night,” he echoes, tentatively adding your name at the end. “I’ll see you at practice Saturday?”
“Yes. See you then.”
You’re grinning like an idiot when you’re home later, thinking of the interaction. It felt refreshing to be with Jungkook like that. As if you can be friends.
You never imagined you would want to be friends with him, but somehow tonight you want it. It only doubles up when a series of texts appears on your screen, hiding the top part of the anime you’re watching in bed before going to sleep.
[3:02 am] unsaved number: lmaooi jmin saud i cockblocled him😂 [3:02 am] unsaved number: cockblocked* [3:02 am] unsaved number: sry im drunk
You laugh softly, turning on your back as you pause the anime. You go to the conversation, and you’re about to reply when he adds,
[3:03 am] unsaved number: plz ignorr this
You don’t hesitate when you save his number under his name.
Prev | Next
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What do we think of this chapter?? Enemies to lovers not too enemies anymore uh? Hope you liked it! Let me know what you thought!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023. Please do not copy, repost or translate.
Taglist: (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you my bad)
@chimchimmarie | @pamzn | @sugaluvmyg | @tearyjjeon | @jkclouds | @libra04 | @parkinglot-nights | @ggukieasy | @omnomnomtron | @jichimx | @synnfulqt | @leedoesntknaur | @pornichett | @melodiesforari | @oopscoop | @nadzzzblog | @amylouisecullen
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forgottenroisin · 4 days
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OOC | Lord & Lady Malconaire
so this post might be pointless, and not to have yet another malconaire family thread running, but i was responding to aoife's comment <3 and i realized there's a lot i don't know about the girls' parents and i'd love to hash that out w you guys, if lizzy doesn't already know? @thelongforgottenrealm
ok so first id love to establish first names for our love birds? [ this site ] might help w that ;D next, id like to discuss a lil their timeline as well as the broader timeline re: valentina and her kids coming onto the scene etc, bc, for example, the thing tht actually spurred this comment was me realizing i have no idea if rosie remembers her mom at all!
speaking of, rosie's bio says she doesn't remember much abt when they were wealthy, so we know that she was still pr small when valentina arrived on the scene, and from that im guessing their mama died pr early into in her life but im not sure how long lord m was a widower -- was it decades? years? months? esp since the remarriage we now know was politically motivated it really could've been any timeframe at all since it wasnt him moving on, etc
but anway! yeah basically just a few basics would be great <3
so yeah to get us started imma start w what we know (using the first event as year 1 since im not sure what the years supposed to be plus lbr roderick's probs did smth stupidly dramatic like re-starting the calendar w year 1, day 1 being his coronation day etc smdh so who even knows whats going on)
year 1 -- birth of valentina (as a result of this being the first known malconaire event, this whole calendar is a timetable of valentina's ages when everything went down which is pr interesting for me as her rper heehee)
year 18 -- birth of cassimir
year 22 -- births of sonya, cillian
year 23 -- birth of eithne/presumably lord and lady m were married by this time, if not before?
year 25 -- birth of brigit
year 26 -- birth of saoirse
year 27 -- birth of aoife
year 29 -- birth of roisin/last known year in which lady m was def alive
year 48 -- surrender of astaira to roderick/battle of m may or may not have already taken place but obv would've been before the formal capitulation -- im guessing it was the same year tho since the v next battle led to the surrender, but anyway likely this is the year in which lord m died, and certainly he was dead by this time
year 50 -- the present
so some notes!! i believe @forgottencassimir said...somewhere haha that cassimir was probs abt ~teenage when valentina married lord m, so that puts the marriage likely between years 31-37, and we know that rosie hardly remembers their wealth at its full height, as well as the fact that valentina was the direct cause of its loss, so she was probs 6-8 when that happened, so that puts their marriage between years 35-37ish, most likely (also never fully appreciated the age gap between rosie and cassimir till i started really thinkin abt this alksdjfaklsdfj), so we're safe to say, i think, that lady m was def dead by year 37 also, i don't want to assume anything, but i do think we're pr safe to say that the battle of m took place in the year 48 and, therefore, that lord m died in year 48
this means that the smallest amount of time lord m spent without the woman he loved was 11 years SOB, and it ALSO means that at the smallest range valentina and he were married that long, and that its been at LEAST 13 years since the marriage of lord m and valentina and thus their kids have been siblings all that time/she's been their stepmom that long etc, but possibly for even longer!
are there any major events whose timetable we know that im forgetting? i feel like there are hahah but im drawing a blank
anyway, this is all quite rambly, and quite possibly lizzy already has all this info for us and i just never thought to ask before now hahaha but yeah!! i was wondering <3
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vermillioncrown · 8 months
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an actual AU snippet: a number of different selves
bc @rozaceous and i keep teehee-ing about 'folie a deux' and aaaaall the au's we have for our dc-siocs
money where the mouth is: bonus snippet + concept for followers
(it'll prob just be like my longer mdzs au's with one written part and the rest is just back and forth)
impetus: roz and i saw a shitpost where someone laughed at "bruce wayne x reader divorce" and said "he's already going through it and people are really inserting themselves in the narrative just to divorce him lmao"
which we then joked "damn we'd be set. he could have whatever mistress he wants as long as we could have financial support and leave us alone. we'll play his trophy wife"
and then we both realized that there would be things we couldn't let go if we ever caught wind of it. like it would drive us insane to abide by it. and thus...a version of our si's w bruce (yeah you heard me, both of us)
so here's a thing, bonus only for tumblr🙂
“I put you two in that meeting to clear up any hard feelings,” Lucius stares dead-on at his screen. He tries very hard not to pinch the bridge of his nose—composure needs to be maintained. “It can’t have gone that poorly.”
“Time is a finite resource for us lowly mortals and I’m not getting that hour back,” Vivienne grits out. “A fucking PA—where does he get off on his high horse? I hope he explodes.”
What?
“—know how many people work here, Lucius? Let alone just my division? And you’re wasting everyone’s time with each dead-on-arrival concept that gets shuffled into our portfolio and then ‘mysteriously’ yanked when it’s just good enough to Frankenstein into whatever high school science project that’s hiding in some Gotham sewer tunnel.” Her tirade is caustic and not hidden behind the typical red lipstick smiles. “Morale is dipping. There’s only so much you can pay to keep mouths shut and stop turnover.”
Vivienne makes very good points—the fact she has the acumen even three years ago was why WanyeTech moved to fund her PhD and fast-tracked her as a technical director upon entering the workforce. She caught on very quickly—too quickly—that there were private uses of certain advanced concepts within R&D, and she cared. Fortunately for WayneTech, her diligence meant increase in efficiency for the company; they’ve won several bids that have extended their reach into two new industries.
(Fortunately, WayneTech is privately held and not subject to public shareholder scrutiny.)
Unfortunately for the Batman, it meant additional roadblocks for his tools and supplies. It was by God’s grace, or something, that Vivienne didn’t decide to either blackmail them or whistle-blow. What she argued for was more oversight and appropriate man-hours and billing for certain projects that went towards a ‘private use case.’ The willingness to help (out of logistical fury) took a load off Lucius’s shoulders, but it put two new headaches in his skull: one next to each ear every time Vivienne or Bruce complained about each other peripherally.
“Does His Dark Grace think he’s not subject to g-forces?”
“Lucius. I asked for four different configurations. It should be able to fit.”
“Love his idealism—of course we have the manufacturing tolerances of an ant colony!”
“This is over-redundant and unnecessary. It gets in the way of visibility. I need a design change by two weeks.”
...and so on, so forth. So Lucius decided to cut himself out as the middleman and make the two talk to each other. A direct stakeholder meeting to capture requirements and fulfill proposals, so to speak in company terms. As both Bruce’s long-standing friend and Vivienne’s superior for her tenure at the company, he’s in the unique position to see the similarities in their personalities and (perhaps foolishly) believed they would get along after candid discussion.
And somehow, it all went to hell in a hand basket. That’s probably on Lucius for forgetting that adults were equally susceptible to playground scrapping as his six-year-old son. Thankfully, there’s less physical dirt involved or impromptu weapons, even if Vivienne looks ready to rip her stiletto heels off to use as a real stiletto.
“Vi, what do you need me to give?” Lucius straightens and prepares to negotiate. The greatest vulnerability of adding good talent is having more people in the know. Loose ends. It’d be a blow to lose Vivienne, but as long as she doesn’t talk—
“He’s lucky he’s a net good,” she snarls, now pacing in front of his desk. “He’s fucking lucky city statistics are on his side.”
“Vivienne.”
She stops mid-rant. “What.”
“Are you terminating our agreement?”
Vivienne takes a few calming breaths before rearranging her stance into something more office-appropriate rather than riled up before taking part in an illicit cage match. “No, Chief Fox. I am not,” she answers with a placid smile, tone light and even.
“Then, what would make your life easier?” Lucius does understand that she’s doing them a huge favor at an equally huge cost from herself. There’s a lot of duties that are more effort and well-beyond what someone her pay grade should need to touch; the delicate situation requires her to be equal parts every role for end-to-end conceptual design to manufacturing.
When Lucius scouted Vivienne Yang from her undergrad in Gotham University, it was by chance—there were technical managers scouting and giving PR for various capstone projects, and he decided to tag along. There, as he was browsing various posters, is where he found her. The work done by her team wasn’t novel (just par for the course with undergraduate engineers), but it was the polish that caught his eye. A methodical approach to answering the prompts given by the capstone courses, justified scope, and structured analysis and design choices that made her team’s final concept (proposed electric car design) stand out. Their value proposition considered necessary support infrastructure and manufacturing as part of their considerations.
He called them ‘her team’ because it was clear that, despite being barely 5’6” with pointed choice of footwear and surrounded by young men over a head taller with the typical engineers’ mannerisms to boot, she called the shots. Oh, of course, her teammates contributed to the questions he asked (”Andy,” young-Vivienne barked, and Team Member Andy jumped in to answer about the drivetrain sizing), but she was the systems integrator.
This was the type of skill that took years to build—usually, years of practical experience on the job—and she had it as intuition. And when Lucius corrected certain assumptions on their design, she didn't take it personally but was instead able to promptly speculate how that would shift their design point.
Thus, he put out an immediate sponsorship for her to grab an advanced degree (or two), school of her choice, research topic to be approved by whatever technical manager in WayneTech that acted as her liaison, and would jump into a stable job with a salary and employee benefits other grad students could only dream of.
Landing something as prestigious as Director of Advanced Concepts, slated for Chief Technology Officer by her 30s, in a Fortune 500 company? Barring the fact that the work was based in Gotham, crime capital of the United States, it would be something like pure fantasy to any aspiring engineer.
She took the sponsorship offer, and Lucius learns over the years that she financially supports her family living out-of-state and genuinely enjoys the various industries that intersect within WayneTech’s R&D. She likes a job well done, is practical and professional (if not overly enthused) when defense-related bids come across their table, and disdains many of the big research or tech conglomerates that make the news for various crimes or “waste of brain cells and human effort.”
Her morals aren’t obvious, but Vivienne’s choice to support Lucius’s efforts to protect Bruce in his uphill crusade is her character vouching for the Batman, even if she dislikes the actual man behind the mask and his design requirements. That she considers it still of worth is something that Lucius needs to compensate her for.
Lord knows had Bruce actually gone through with that projectile design, he’d have already lost an eye. If Vivienne says his proposed ‘Batplane’ design will vibrate into smithereens, he’s inclined to trust her on that.
“I’m going to start calling him an idiot and vetoing stupid requirements,” Vivienne declares, one eyebrow raised like she’s daring him to object.
“You mean you haven’t been doing that already?”
“Lucius, I have been nothing but polite to him. You have the CCs,” she refutes, looking at him incredulously.
He’s not sure by whose standards her scathing emails can be considered ‘polite’, but of course she can be worse. He needs to smooth this out, redo the first meeting ASAP. His hairline can’t take more of this.
“Fine, alright. Just—let’s try to set up another discussion. I’ll attend this time.”
Vivienne actually snorts. “Guess I’m never beating the PA allegations.” She looks down at her watch. “Fuck. Should have just written you an angry email. How am I going to make it five blocks in ten minutes?” She mutters and just as suddenly as she invaded his office, she strides out with a distracted, “Okay thanks, I’ll continue this later.”
He’d rather she not, but it seems she’s sticking around the Wayne Enterprises HQ building to call into her upcoming meeting; he hears her requesting a fresh notepad, a hot cup of coffee, and a private conference room and everyone outside honors those requests immediately.
That’ll give Lucius about two hours to process Vivienne’s rant, track down Bruce for his side of the story, and figure out how to smooth things out. It shouldn’t be unreasonable.
His phone call to Bruce shatters his expectations.
“You called Director Yang my what?”
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giggly-squiggily · 9 months
Text
The ¥1,000,000 Question (Demon Slayer)
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(Was gonna use a gif but they were all pretty heavy with flashing lights)
Okay so- I searched high and low in my inbox, checked both my phone and my desktop, and checked the drafts to see if somehow it ended up there, and yet...I can't find the ask for this request. To whomever requested Lee!Kokushibou, Ler!Akaza- I hope you like it! :D
CW: Swearing
Cloud 9 (Taglist):
@myreygn @thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @wolfyeatstacos @gladdygirl18 @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @backy-san @t-wordiiish @sarahmaystock5578
“Ahehehehaha! Noohoohohohoho!”
“Yeeeeeees~” Akaza mocked playfully, fingers tapping gently across Rui’s belly and sides. “This is what you get for being such a sneaky brat- did you really think I wouldn’t see all those threads you’ve been leaving around?”
Rui couldn’t respond, far too giggly. Akaza chuckled as he let the spider roll away, catching his hands when he jumped up and tried to tickle him back. “Whohohoa there.”
“Heh, gotcha!!” Rui giggled, hands making grabby motions at Akaza’s belly while he struggled to break out of his grip. “Are all the Upper Moons ticklish?”
“All of them? No idea.” Akaza pulled him into his chest once more, tapping his fingers along his belly. “I know the brats are- as is Douma. If you pinch his neck he’ll scream like this.” He pressed into Rui’s belly, earning a squeal. “I don’t know about the Gyokko and Hantengu- they don’t like playing the way we do.”
Rui giggled helplessly as the tickles came to an end once more, slumped against Akaza’s chest. “Whahaht about Lord Kokushibou? Is he ticklish?”
“No idea. I never tried.”
“You never tried?” Rui turned so he was looking at him properly now, tilting his head curiously. “How come?���
“He’s not really the touchy-feely type. I don’t think he’d appreciate me just going up and tasering his ribs.” Akaza laughed softly, the idea so absurd it was hilarious. “I’d probably get scolded or worse doing that.”
“Hm…” Rui hummed, tapping his hands on his lap in thought. “Well…why not ask him if he’s ticklish? Worst thing that can happen is him choosing not to answer.”
Akaza went to respond, but…nothing came out. Rui wasn’t wrong- in fact; he was fairly dead on. Kokushibou wasn’t the type to react violently to a question- he had the patience of a saint and answered most if not all of Douma’s own inquiries. Would it be so different for him? “Who told you you could be so smart?” Akaza reached out, ruffling Rui’s hair.
~~~
In theory it worked flawlessly- the whole asking thing.
In execution though…
“Akaza.” Kokushibou’’s voice rumbled in his bones, shaking him to the core. “You’ve been staring at me for the past half hour. Is something the matter?”
Shit- he’d been caught. Akaza straightened, searching for words. “I eh..hey.”
“Hello to you too.” Kokushibou turned to look at him, six eyes breaking down his walls. “Yes?”
“I…” Might as well just get it out of the way. “Hey, Kokushibou, are you ticklish?”
Silence. Akaza regretted it the second it came out of his mouth, feeling those six eyes burn holes through him. He went to take it back-
“Yes.”
Akaza’s jaw hit the floor. His gaze snapped to Kokushibou, finding no anger or lie in his expression. If anything, the older demon seemed amused. “You are?”
“Last I’ve recalled.” His lips turned then, eyes clouding in thought. “Of course- that was back when I was human. Many things change when you’re turned.”
“Yeah, but Rui and I are-” Akaza began, slapping a hand over his mouth at the confession. Kokushibou’s mouth twitched, amusement returning. “Forget I said that. Well…you’re ticklish. Never would have known.”
“So it seems.”
“Great. Thanks Koku.” Akaza stood, stretching out. There; he accomplished his mission. Now he could report to Rui. “I appreciate it-”
“You don’t wish to try?” Kokushibou asked, nearly taking Akaza out when the stripped demon whirled around, shocked once more. “I assumed since you were asking you’d want to try it.”
“You….you’re serious?” He gaped, not trusting his hearing. Did Kokushibou just give him permission to tickle him? In response, Kokushibou turned so he was properly facing him, hands folded neatly in his lap and body relaxed- inviting even. It was clear as day; he was serious. “You’re not gonna chop my head off?”
“I have no intention of tricking you, Akaza.” The older demon almost sounded hurt. Akaza shook himself free of his thoughts before nodding, taking a seat before the other.
“Okay…wow. Never thought I’d do this before. Alright…is there anywhere you don’t want touched?” Akaza asked, waving his hands around. “Besides the obvious?”
“Anywhere is fine. You have my consent-I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough.” Kokushibou nodded, waiting. Akaza nodded again before raising his hands, willing them to stop shaking.
“Okay…here we go!” He snapped forward, going right for the ribs. That usually got a reaction from Rui. 
At first- nothing happened. Kokushibou was like stone. Akaza almost gave up.
But then…
“Hmm! Hmhmhmhmhmmhmhhmm!” The older demon puffed out what sounded like deep chuckles, lips firmly closed but twitching in the corners. Akaza was amazed- holy crap it was WORKING. Feeling bold, he pressed in more, skittering his fingers up and down the other’s sides. “Mmmmmphehehehehehe!”
“Seems like you’re still ticklish, Kokushibou!” Akaza could feel himself grinning, delighted in the reaction. His hands stopped shaking so much as he let them wonder, seeking out new tickle spots. “What about here? Or here? Perhaps here?”
Turns out- Kokushibou had quite a few tickle spots. The sides of his stomach proved to be quite sensitive to prods, and the center of his armpits made him double over with a snort. His neck- oh man his neck! Very light scribbles against the base where his neck met his shoulders made him giggle like a child!
Granted- Akaza noticed, that spot made almost every demon in the moons react like that.
Perhaps it was Lord Muzan’s own tickle spot?
Scary. Back to Kokushibou.
“Ahehahahha! Ahehahhahhahahahha! A-Ahahhahakhahahahhahzahahhahha!” The six eyed demon called out for the first time, fist balled up against his Hakamas. His smile was small but genuine, and his laugh was rich and deep. “Thahahhat’s enohhoohohough!”
And thus, the tickling had come to an end. Akaza retracted his hands and scooted back, giving the older demon space. Kokushibou was still doubled over, hair falling and shadowing his expression as he tittered out a few more residue giggles. “Seems like we answered the Million Yen Question.”
“Y-yehhes…I suppose we hahave…” Kokushibou huffed, smiling through his bangs. “I have a question of my own for you, Akaza.”
Every nerve in the striped demon’s body tensed for an entirely new reason. “Oh?”
“Yes. It seems rather unfair that you get to tickle me…but I don’t get to tickle you.” Those six eyes bore into him again, but Akaza didn’t feel dread of fear this time. Instead, he twitched with anticipation. “So, I must ask…are you ticklish?”
“.....I think we both know the answer to that one.” Akaza laughed, starting to back away. “But I assure you- I’m not nearly as fun to tickle as Spidey-squirt, or even that rainbow idiot! They scream like little babies, you know-” He booked it, running for the door.
“So I’ve heard.” How’d Koku appear so quickly and silently? Akaza had no idea. All he knew is a hand was grasping the back of his vest and he just let out a sound he wasn’t proud of. “Humor me- let’s see if you do the same.”
Thanks for reading!
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justgavilmao · 1 year
Note
helloo can u please make one where the reader and gavi (as couples) bake cookies or smth late at night??
tyy x
Bro I accidentally deleted my writing so many times cuz I kept forgetting that auto-save does not exist on tumblr-😭
Anyway, I am so so sorry for the delay, I was hanging out with my friends the entire time :(
Moving on... Here ya go, and I hope you like it :D
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"PSSSSSST!"
As if electrocuted awake, my boyfriend shot up, outta bed, sitting up straight, the fear and astonishment visible in his coffee brown eyes, as he stared at my half-dead, sleep deprived face, the flashlight below my chin highlighting my flaws, presenting them in a creepier light. Literally.
"Jesus Christ, Y/N..." He then lets out a sigh of relief, realizing that it was just me, and not the zombie bride he probably assumed I was. "I'm hungry." I say in a low, sinister voice. "Oh?" His perplexed, groggy expression now changed to that of a horny, cocky one, as he sat up straighter. "For food." I add flatly, before he could get any more unholy ideas.
"Just go eat something then." He rolls his eyes, laying back down on his bed, his drowsiness suddenly returning. "There's nothing to eat." I continue staring at him. "Ever heard of take-out?" He snaps. "Ever heard of Christmas rush?" I retort, making him run his hands through his hair, as he began pondering upon something.
It's true, there wasn't much we could do anymore now. Though it was only 11:57pm, December 23rd, only a few more minutes, and the entire city's gonna start bustling more than usual. And the growling of my stomach clearly proved that I wouldn't survive the night if I don't eat something soon.
"Very well then..." Pablo sighs, getting up and outta the bed, walking towards the door. "Aww, I love you." I smile at my departing boyfriend, knowing that he was probably going to whip something up for me real quick, because this wasn't the first time I'd woke him up in the middle of the night, on the verge of dying due to my hunger.
However, he usually made something really simple for me. Like instant ramen, or a PB&J sometimes. But I was certain that I wouldn't be receiving any of that anytime soon, cuz we were all out of things to eat! I should know, for I've been haunting the kitchen for a little over an hour now, in pursuit of some edible food.
But all I could find was frozen meat, and dumb protein supplements, which Pablo himself doesn't take that frequently, for according to him, they taste like chalk. He can be pretty picky at times. "Oh no, you're coming with." He rolls his eyes, getting me outta bed, and dragging me outta the room, and down the stairs.
"Why? I already told you. It's pointless!" I protest. "There's nothing to eat!" I remind. "Oh please." He scoffs. "Everyone knows how blind you are when it comes to food you don't wanna eat." He rolls his eyes. "What makes you say that?!" I ask defensively. "Oh, I don't know..." He mumbles, pretending to think about it.
"Probably the fact that you keep opening and shutting the fridge every time you see something you don't like, hoping that something else magically appears in there if you open it constantly." He scoffs, somewhat annoyed, somewhat amused. I just roll my eyes at him when we reach the kitchen, and sit on the counter instead.
"See? Told ya there's nothing." I cross my arms fifteen minutes later, not moving from my position. Pablo just sighs, walking up to me, tired of rummaging through each and ever shelf of his, along with the refrigerator too, but finding absolutely nothing. "Well, we could just bake something." He then says in a suggestive tone.
"Bake something?" I repeat, never really giving it a thought before. "Yeah. Bake something." He confirms, walking up to me now. "Think about it, mi vida." He then starts. "We've already got all the ingredients. It's rush hour now anyway, so it's not like we can order something." He began listing.
"AND because it's Christmas time." He adds, grinning widely. "Won't that be time-consuming though?" I point out. "Not at all." He shrugs. "20 minutes tops." He then adds, making me actually think about it. "Bake what though?" I then ask. "I was thinking cookies, but we don't have any icing for Christmas theme." He mumbles.
"But I do have a few cookie cutters, so I was thinking we could just go with the classic." He answers. "Gingerbread?" I guess. "Chocolate chip!" He corrects. "Hmm..." I think about it for about a minute, before finally giving in. "Sure. I'm in." I get down from the counter. "Perfect, I'll gather all the ingredients then." He smiles.
"I wanna be the taste-tester though-" I then say, too lazy to help him bake. "You can taste what you bake." He rolls his eyes at me, tossing over an apron to me, which I wore. He put on a matching one too, and a fake chef-hat that he stole from his cousin on Halloween when he was 8- His cousin won't stop whining about it till date!
"Alright, butter." He extends his hand, not looking away from the recipe, almost done with the dough. "Butter." I sigh, handing it over to him, already tired within the first 5 minutes of baking. "Eggs." He says, and I hand him some. "Eggs." I roll my eyes, walking back to my table, having some more chocolate chips, that had almost melted by now.
"Chocolate." He then calls. Shit- I quickly lick my fingers, not wanting him to find out, and grab the bowl, rushing over to him. "Chocolate!" He repeats impatiently, turning back to see what was taking so long, but the bowl had already been transferred in his hands. "Chocolate." I smile innocently.
"Y/N..." He whines, realizing what happened, adding the chocolate to the bowl and walking to me. "What?" I ask, playing dumb. "You're baking. Not eating." He sighs, grabbing a few paper towels, and cleaning my face a little. "How the hell did you manage to get some on your nose?" He then chuckles, wiping the tip of my nose.
"Besides, you should never touch food with your bare hands." He then lectures, scooping up the cookie dough and spreading it evenly on the sheet, using the cookie cutter to cut them into Christmas themed shapes, like stars, trees, snowmen, angels... "You never know where they've been." He then turns back, somehow knowing that I was licking my fingers.
I quickly put my hands behind my back, pretending as if nothing ever happened, but he just chuckles softly, walking up to me and cleaning my hands with the paper towel too. "You're so clumsy." He laughs to himself, walking back to the cookies, and placing the tray in the pre-heated oven, starting the baking procedure.
Since I couldn't take his dorkiness any longer, I just roll my eyes, and walk over to the bag of flour, scooping some in my hand before smacking him in the face with it. I burst out laughing when I saw him cough in the cloud of flower that had just formed around his head, his expression priceless. "Oh, it is ON!" He exclaims.
He walks to the bag of flour, and sprinkles some on my face too!
Nearly ten minutes had passed, and we were both coughing on the opposite sides of the kitchen, covered in flour from head to toe, the entire place a mess. "I come in peace..." Pablo then cautiously approaches me, his hands stuck up in the air as if he were surrendering to me right now.
Since we were both outta flour, I walk up to him, and we both burst out laughing, just looking at how ridiculous the other person looked. Before we could say or do anything else, the aroma of delicious cookies filled the room, and I could feel the water fill my mouth yet again, just at the thought of them.
Pablo chuckles softly at my excitement, and rushed to the oven, wearing his gloves and getting out the warm, fresh Christmas cookies that we both just baked tonight. "Careful, they're still warm." He warns me, placing them at the center of the table, looking around the kitchen, and realizing what a mess it was.
"Welp... I did tell you it'd be fun to bake."
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dangermousie · 9 months
Text
Farscape rewatch 1x22
One of my favorite eps.
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No, John, it’s not going to get better.
Where do I start? First of all let me mention the ‘not-good-bye’ good-bye John and Aeryn do. I love it. One of so many in the show, less fraught than later ones but still mmm.
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But that comes later, let’s get back to the beginning.
Where Rygel sells them out and it surprises no one. But he doesn’t find a good market, and returns with Crais, Crais who is now seeking asylum. The scene in the hangar bay, as Crais steps out is…
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What I notice the most is the way John fixates on him. He associates Crais with being hunted, tortured, though it’s nothing to the reaction he will have to Scorpy on board in S4. That whole scene, with Crais asking for protective custody, and D’Argo knocking him down, and yet through the whole scene, there is John, gun pointed, not wavering in his regard of Crais, an almost uncontrollable fixation and it looks like he is fixating on the thought of shooting Crais. It’s this intensity of concentration that is frightening.
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And the fugitives come up with a desperate plan, based on the fact that Scorpius wants John. And you can see the look on John’s face as he realizes the certainty of his being on a suicidal mission as opposed to a probability.
I love the scene with John trying to leave a message to Jack and not being able to, and finally giving up with ‘why don’t I just start screaming, and leave him with a really happy memory.’ Yeah.
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And Aeryn coming in, partially because she sees he needs comfort. And she does comfort, instinctively, by sharing about her Mother. And his delight, even under those dire circumstances, at the fact that she is letting him in, telling him something so personal. The way his voice and eyes envelop her, the way she seems to relax and forget the mess outside.
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This is getting vvvv long...so
And her asking him if his father is like the man she’s met on fake!Earth and his reply that a bit idealized but yes. I love how important John-Jack relationship is to FS, and how you can feel it, though we barely ever see Jack. He is crucial to John and so we see him through the mirror of John. And oh, how do I love that final message he does leave, ending with ‘This is John Crichton, somewhere in the Universe.’ The wonder is still there, isn’t it? But so is determination to not be taken alive and I find that rather heart-breaking. But there is awesome gallows humor with D’Argo and John and oh, this show is turning me into an emotional yo-yo, as it always does.
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The highlight of the ep for me, is John sitting with the gun, on the floor, by Crais’ cell and talking to him. And he is quiet, and beyond despair, and in pain. And he is crying. And that whole scene, which I cannot describe well at all, or even analyze, just kills me. Trying to make Crais understand, still trying, but now it’s not about that, not really hoping for that or wishing it, but just verbalizing it all, head on.
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Oooof (and the way he’s almost cuddling the gun as a comfort blanket...)
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And when Crais says that there is much injustice and they are all proof of it, John’s bleak rejoinder that if there was justice, Crais would be dead…kills me.
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And there are good byes. Chiana refusing to be saved and D’Argo insisting. Zhaan and John, acknowledging they are family. D’Argo and Aeryn, and D saying he thought he’d live much longer and Aeryn (in a sentence that explains so much) replying that she never thought she’d live this long (unknowingly echoing Zhaan who said that every microt is an undeserved gift from the Goddess for her, since she committed murder).
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The scene with Rygel and John, which is just…always sideswipes me, so much because they are hilarious and moving and Rygel is a fucking puppet but I never remember he is 100% real to me.
The never-ending references...
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And the insane nicknames. The show was gloriously unhinged.
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I love this exchange:
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This is the bit that gets me tbh...
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There is the scene with Chiana and John, which just makes me die. Because Chiana offers him her body, because that is the only way she knows how to repay John for what he did for her and what he is about to do, and it says volumes about the life she’s led that this is the one way she can think to show gratitude. And John turns her down.
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But it’s not the fact that he does, it’s the way he does it, that gets me. Because he manages to be so gentle and sweet and not insulting at all, because he recognizes it as a gift and treats it as such. I think that is the reason her relationship with John is more important to Chiana than the one with D’Argo or anyone else. John is someone who wants nothing from her (not that D is mercenary, but because the relationship is romantic, there is a different dynamic, one she is more familiar with). John is family: he really is her brother replacement after Nerri. (Side note - any other show he’d bang the hot alien since he’s not dating Aeryn or even close but not here/)
And yeah, that doozie of a cliffhanger. And John seeing the base go in smoke and his sheer glee at the destruction, at striking back, at saving his crew.
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He is millions of miles away from the John who came through that wormhole. But he asks to be patched in to Moya, to make her escape, even though this means certain death to him. That duality, with humanity and self-sacrifice always there, just different, will always remain.
Also, yeah, Crais 100% developed a thing for Aeryn after she tortured him...everyone in this show is a bit insane...
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