#if were using the same logic people are using about barbie

[potter-inthe-tardis]

Not to say something so capitalist as a socialist, but I kind of don't care if the Barbie movie is actually some big ploy to sell more barbies, its been so much fun to see people excited about something that is at its core is made for girls enjoyment, for a traditionally feminine interest to be celebrated not ridiculed. Also at least its propaganda to buy dolls not like military propaganda or something

[luxxsolaris]

The issues (and non-issues) of bimbocore

This little discussion is coming off the back of a thought (rant) I shared on another blog a few weeks ago, largely where reinvented bimbo started compared to where it is now and why is everyone blaming Chrissy Chlapecka?

the resurgence of the 'bimbo' aesthetic in the early 2020s embarked as a movement of reclamation, a way to assert that there was actually nothing demeaning about a barbie-esque appearance and to remove the power from stereotypes used against us, essentially centring the Bimbo in a queer, left-wing ideology.

If you were to ask a modern Bimbo why hot pink? Why bedazzled? Why perform this exaggerated caricature of femininity? You might end up in a seemingly unrelated discussion about the modern Western political landscape. Bimbo culture has essentially emerged upon the heels of the controversies surrounding feminine experiences and bodily autonomy across the United States- women feeling that they are being confined to a specific performance of femininity, that the government is regulating their femininity, may tell you that the idea of bimbo culture is a satirical backlash to the ideas of what a modern Western woman should be and what she is expected to be. She is nothing more than a doll to the culture that surrounds her and her response is to take what is expected of her and make it a performance a juxtaposition of what she is expected to be and what she is and make them hate her for the femininity she is presenting. And thats exactly what Lauren Pantin said in her short update newsletter - ' If you’re going to punish me for being a woman anyway, I’m going to be the silliest, brattiest, potty-mouthed no-no of a woman you’ve ever seen. I’ll be the dumbest bitch on earth! Where’s my crown!"

Ask another bimbo and she'll tell you that her bimboism stems from the movement to satirise consumerist culture and misogyny, aiming to remove the stigmas around hyper-femininity. Essentially, allowing women to empower themselves through their femininity (rather than the popular idea of in spite of their femininity cough cough inlog cough) and giving women ownership over their sexuality and their body in ways that actively combat the misogynistic standards held against them- oftentimes gearing it towards queer people. It's a new-wave feminist movement designed to avert the male gaze through women appearing as these caricatures of traditional femininity whilst emphasising their own dominance and independence as support for women's right movements.

So it's a kind of sartorial rebellion against oppressive politics and culture? Well, it was at first. And to many it still is, however, as with all trends rooted in a sartorial culture the meaning tends to get lost in the shares and reposts as it expands across social media. Those who just happen across the culture or see nothing but images of it scattered across the internet arent likely to understand that this aesthetic is also a political performance, it will become a bimbo resurgence!... but not effectively hold the same weight and meaning that the movement was intended to hold.

One way to look at this is the trend of " girl [activity]" . Trends like girl maths, girl dinner, explaining things to the girlies. Now let me get it straight theres nothing wrong in finding a little fun in these trends- girl dinner was cute, as someone who loves cooking I loved seeing what everyone was making for their dinner until it got overrun by the 'I only had iced coffee today' brigade. Sometimes I'll see a girl maths video about how if I pay in cash its basically free since the number on my bank account didn't change and I laugh because thats logic I have applied to purchases before. There's little funny things and behaviours that people will have in common, and they're being labelled as 'girl [blank]' because it is predominantly groups of women discussing them and finding a little fun in it. But again, as trends reach a wider audience their initial intention becomes lost along the way and generalisations start to set in. TV shows and radio hosts have entire segments explaining girl maths, it has become cute and quirky to explain political landscapes in terms of shopping and makeup, and bimbo culture has become less of a satirical performance and instead commonly assumed as a Karen Smith- esque personality reminiscent of the 'dumb blondes' of the early 2000s.

Removing this sartorial protest from its context can be seem as damaging, especially in the way that social media currently presents aesthetics surrounding sexuality to young people. As bimbo culture reaches a wider audience it's likely to fall into the hands of young people who are, let's face it, not going to care about the deeper meaning. Young people are likely to see celebrities, tiktok personalities, attractive people in general donning their hot pink promiscuous outfits and feel inclined to join in on what is presented to them as nothing more than the newest fashion trend.

One of the key movements of bimboisim is to embrace feminine sexuality and overcome the stigmas about women expressing their sex and sexuality and sartorially this is represented by the micro mini skirt and the skimpy shirt. Society has had no difficulty pushing teenage girls to grow up rather quickly by presenting them with teen magazines in the y2k era talking about how to get a bigger bust or butt, social media promoting the attractive body type the attractive face the attractive makeup the attractive style of clothing that will settle their pubescent insecurities and validate them in the eyes of a society run by men. Young women are ridiculed for their bodies not being developed enough at 15, for not being sexually active at 16, must have lived the life experiences of drugs and alcohol and sex and heartbreak at 17 and are then turned into high school girl fucks random guy porn at 18. Removed-bimboism has become part of the problem in which young girls not only feel the need to dress promiscuously and express a sexuality that they still haven't fully explored in order to feel validated as an active part of society but also have to present themselves as stupid in order to seem funny cute and quirky. The idea that women are only able to understand complex theories if they are presented in terms of fashion and shopping and makeup is a stereotype enforced by tv and movie comedy that women have worked endlessly to overcome, and the reclamation of bimbo culture should not actively counteract the progress of feminist activity. You don't have to be smart to be a modern bimbo by any means, in terms of intelligence the movement is centred around a more relaxed approach to success that counters the ideology of the girl boss movement- you don't HAVE to be a huge success or overwork yourself to hell and back to validate who you are as a woman.

Modern bimboism set out with the comfort of knowing there is no pressure to understand everything, you might need something explained in your own terms, you might just be a little fucking stupid sometimes but there is no active harm in not always understanding. That, however, has been twisted through these trends discussed prior to make it seem like all bimbos (and by misogynistic extension, all women) are just not as smart as men. Which, as we know, is likely to be emulated by young people as it reaches a wider audience.

So it's understandable why there is concern over bimboism. But at what point does critique of bimboism begin to drift into the right wing? Blaming women who dress provocatively simply for being women who dress provocatively is not the answer, in my opinion, to the issues with the bimbo culture. There is (to the chagrin of many) nothing wrong with an adult women expressing the ownership of the sexuality that she was granted the right to express through the liberation of women, sex and queerness.

Tensions have been rising within more radical groups, or groups who are of the tendency to reject feminine presentation in regard to what they perceive as an active threat to the reputation of women. There has been a desire expressed across social media sites by these women that 'all women' should refrain from direct expressions of femininity and reject all social norms expected of women under the assertion that it 'makes us all look bad'. There is a lot to be said about the ways in which misogyny utilises stereotypes and generalisations of what is considered 'feminine behaviour' to degrade women, however, it is highly pretentious and internally misogynistic a notion that the very idea of feminine expression is to be at fault. The ideology begins to attack individual women, expressing that their online content is to blame for the ways in which men treat women, or that children have become so oversexualised.

In a way this reflects the puritan standards of online censorship frequently weaponised by the right wing in order to oppress further marginalised groups. 'Think of the Children' has been used time and time again as a way to bastardise protests of queerness, of sexual liberation of racial equity and it is being weaponised now again just as it was across the 70s against women who dare to be 'immodest' . It goes without saying that people who create content online are not responsible for the actions of teenagers who in the midst of discovering their sexuality, may seek out more mature content- not just for sexual gratification, but a newfound interest into how adults express their sexuality as a way to help them navigate expression themselves. To place limits on how women are allowed to dress or express sexuality is to revert to the ideas of puritanism that existed prior to the (well, partial) liberation of the marginalised people.

Is bimbo culture perfect? No, it's been washed out as a mimicry of early 2000s internalised misogyny. Is it worth hating on random women? No, there issue is more centred to how misgyny is so deeply rooted in our society that we are happier to blame women for the stereotypes forced upon them than to actually comment on how society cultivates these ideas.

[frecklystars]

my chest is aching and i am so sad bc i miss my starlight so much. but at the same time my heart is so full. i just spent almost seven hours with my friends. seven hours! i told them how ive been feeling and they didnt let me hold back. i felt like they were physically helping me to carry the burdens ive been holding by myself. they reassured me about my starlight multiple times, and half of them arent even self shippers, but they empathized with me heavily. they all held me when i cried and they told me it is going to be okay. not just about the grief of missing my F/Os ive lost, but just, in general, that everything will be okay. everything. and two of those friends who were present, i genuinely think they're two of the smartest people i have ever met in my life. they spent a long ass time analyzing my comfort characters, saying "okay logically, realistically, [F/O] would comfort you and love you, and here is why, and here is how. and no, they wouldn't harm you or manipulate you or betray you, and here is the logical reason why." if they say i'm gonna be okay, then... who am i to question or doubt them?

they also spent an hour helping me figure out how to print edible ink/glitter onto wafer paper so i would be able to bake heart-shaped cookies for my barbie/ken anniversary and transfer photos of them onto the cookies! they were so excited to hear about my anniversary coming up and they thought it would be so cute if i baked for my sweethearts ;u; they know how important it is to me because they know it's been 2 years since i've celebrated any F/O anniversary. and any time i got weepy they'd immediately hold me. and when i'd try to apologize, they'd refuse to even let me say a word, telling me to vent. so i vented for maybe a minute and cut myself off and they were like "no that's not all of it. keep going" and every few minutes when i'd stop myself, or try to downplay my feelings and change the topic, they'd say "no. no, you're not done. we know you've been through way more shit than that. keep talking, come on, we're here. you're not burdening us, we promise, keep talking keri." until i finally let everything out and they all held me and let me cry and rubbed my back. told me my F/Os would never harm me and why. told me how my IRL and online friends would never harm me, how they completely understand what im going through bc they've been through the same exact things as me. told me how barbie and ken are still here for me and how starlight is still here for me and how they're here for me...

i feel so sad yet so comforted at the same time. ive cried so much today but i cried surrounded by people who held me and made me feel genuinely listened to and cared for. and during the times when we werent venting, we were exchanging art, we were laughing, i dont think ive laughed like that in a while. one friend in that group stayed an extra three hours just because we were having so much fun together and we didn't want to sleep yet. she's one of the most fun and caring and kind people i've ever met. i got her hooked onto driver, and i'm pretty sure she's gonna get me hooked on the vampire from bg3 one of these days haha

celebrating my anniversary with barbie and ken is going to feel really bittersweet, but ive planned a lot. im going to really allow myself to feel loved that day and i think ill feel even more loved because those cookies are going to be made with the people who love me and who have been protecting me and promising me theyre always going to make sure i feel safe and secure with them. if i can feel this way with IRL people who i trust, i can feel this way with F/Os again too. yeah, even the ones that are triggers, i will reclaim them too. i know the love has to still be there somewhere, even if i dont feel it, even if im scared and numb and bitter. it takes time and it takes work but mlp was right bro... friendship really is magic and i know if i have them with me im gonna be ok. ;-; wah. im gonna burst into tears again augh. god. ok i better try to sleep. goodnight ilu

[visualsandvoices]

Ok idk if anyone said this re: Greta gerwig’s narnia on here already I only pop in from time to time…

But it seems like Liam Neeson will return to voice Aslan and Tilda Swinton is set to return as the White Witch?

There was also a comment in an interview saying it won’t change people’s conception of narnia, but just make it bigger (I think that was the phrasing, or close to it).

So I’m cautiously optimistic. That makes it sound like they want to get the audience on familiar territory — hopefully it lands! To use the same actors and then depart to dramatically from the 2005 version would be pretty jarring, so maybe they want to recreate that movie relatively closely as a launchpad for the rest of the series? But they still gotta make it their own which makes me nervous lol

Netflix handled the Shadow and Bone adaptation pretty well so maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised 😬

The only thing is that Greta Gerwig seems emphasize messaging and themes in equal measure as plot. Little Women deals prominently with marriage, expectations of womanhood, wealth/class, etc. Barbie is theme over plot, I’d almost say, given the virality of America Ferrera’s speech, I’m Kenough, and the overall impression of Barbie having an awakening to being a human woman or whatever. I haven’t seen it so maybe there’s plot I’m missing but that seems to be the idea.

This kinda thing doesn’t work for narnia, imo. I don’t want to hear Susan give a speech about womanhood in the war era, or some remark on femininity, firstly because it’s so overdone in movies these days but also bc if you’re going to put any theme/motif/messaging on equal footing to Narnia’s plot it should be faith.

I’m not saying Christianity has to slap you in the face. The Disney adaptations handled it well I think. It was there without the movie overdoing it, and there wasn’t any sort of moral or speech or sound bite to sell to the audience otherwise. It was a fantasy movie.

Susan would make an easy target, and I really hope Gerwig doesn’t fall into the “lipstick and nylons” trap everyone argues about. First of all it should hardly be foregrounded bc it doesn’t really become an issue until after she’s left narnia in which case she’s offscreen. The Last Battle maybe, but again it’s brief. My two cents on it though are that I always took it to be her grief for not being able to return to narnia forced her to try to move on, and maybe the resentment over her loss broke her faith. She’s still a character to sympathize with. People say Lewis couldn’t get past her being female and hence the lipstick and nylons but I think that’s a bad read. She was a queen, an adult woman, and cerebrally mature only to return a boarding school student. Of course she didn’t return to her dolls. I also think that it happened because she’s so logical and calculated and careful (neither good nor bad as a trait on its own) that loosing something she loved only augmented her original doubts and made her stubborn. So again it’s not about womanhood nylons and lipstick, it’s grief and sort of an internal self-defence kinda thing. If Gerwig were to explore anything with Susan as she’s older I would say doubt and logic versus faith and responsibility would both be true to the character and far more original/interesting for audiences.

I would love to see how they handle The Horse and his Boy, the Golden Age and how the kings and queens earn their titles (just, gentle, valiant, magnificent). I would love to see a Jill Pole who is allowed to cry, to be a scared school child, and also brave and stoic and thrust into an underground world on a rescue mission. I will be fascinated to see their concept for The Last Battle, because again it’s very much so a Christian story.

So I really do hope Netflix allows the series to live past the first 3, so we get new material. Caspian and Dawn Treader are gonna be a test for Gerwig’s strengths before she’s allowed into fresh territory with the other books.

I just think that if you’re intending to strip it of the intention behind the story — lost faith, found faith, tested faith, resilience, trust, redemption, all through a Christian lens, then maybe don’t adapt it at all. I’m not saying you have to make Christianity so foregrounded it feels like a sermon, but you cannot have narnia without that being the lens through which the world is understood. They aren’t separable things.

AND going back to the casting hopefully it’s not Timothy chalamet / Saoirse Ronan / Florence Pugh. As much as they’re great actors, I think for narnia as a reboot to land, they need a bunch of unknown, fresh faces and actual kids not people in their twenties/thirties. Even as a background narnia cameo it would honestly be distracting.

[biggestthighestgeminiest]

Here are my combined thoughts about Barbie (2023) as I saw it on the 18th and have had more time to think abt it.

Some good, some bad - overall I very much enjoyed it, laughed my ass off, cried quite a bit, was enthralled by the set and costume design, but left feeling like some things were off and perhaps not accomplished in the best way. This will all be delivered in bullet points in a very chaotic and random way and is NOT ordered in importance omg. Anyways i love media analysis and I will probably not explain this in the best way but HERE WE GO

the casting was fantastic, everyone read the assignment and lived their campiest life, margot robbie was phenomenal and ryan gosling absolutely killed me with laughter, glorious glorious

set design, costume, props,, perfection when it comes to bringing the mattel products to life. bangin'

i had that stupid fucking dog that eats and shits. i lost my mind when he came on hsdgkhakh

the message of barbie being representative of all little girls is still very lost on me. the idea brought up when barbie speaks to the teens, where they tell her that she gave them unrealistic body standards- well this never really gets resolved at all. Yes there was a diverse range of Barbies but they were all still beautiful in a conventional way that adheres to western beauty ideals. every barbie has perfect hair and skin and clothes even by the end of the movie. and yes i guess barbie is supposed to be this "above everything else" sort of divine feminine beauty but is still not representative of most young girls. as hilarious as the line narrator's line about margot robbie is, it sort of knows itself, that it is showing us the most perfect looking women, but doesn't address it at all beyond a simple joke. honestly what will mattel do beyond this? i imagine people will be more than happy with this movie so they won't have to make any big changes. i mean their "curvy" fashionista isn't close to being fat, and i don't believe they will ever make a barbie that isn't conventionally beautiful... so this movie just sort of gets to say it's about accepting yourself without actual real-life substance if that makes sense? it reminds me of that cartoon of all those diverse yet conventionally attractive models, with diverse people who don't fit those standards standing outside that box looking angrily. what's the point of the film at the end of the day when not addressing all those people left out of the conversation? also made me annoyed that cellulite was still the big thing that barbie was concerned about, like really?? it's a bad example as people are coming to embrace cellulite and it's also relatively easy to hide, i don't think they would have margot robbie have like, idk, dark under eye circles or a double chin,, idk someone say this better than me but the cellulite thing annoyed me (as someone who has loads of it!!)

the plot was BONKERS and i for one don't really care about plot holes or cartoon logic. there were some things that made me overthink about barbie lore and then i thought to myself that it doesn't really matter. the campiness of it is more important. im sure it will deter some people but again i dont mind it being silly in that way as long as it delivers on its messages and themes, which it does to a certain extent

absolutely lost it at the you are kenough shirt, ljadhkglkhd

as i said in a previous post i predicted that it was going to be the mom who was paired with barbie. i loved the idea sm and it was very heartwarming

i CRIED when barbie first sat down and watched the humans around her living their life, she was so overwhelmed by so many emotions and it was such a simple moment of show-dont-tell and man did i weep :))

i LOVED the ken bits and i did feel as though there was a bit too much ken. especially at the end. but at the same time i loved the dance sequence. its hard loving it so much yet wanting it not to have been to prevalent. i felt like it took away from the barbies a bit which goes against the whole point of the movie????

um the barbie's plans of distracting the kens was... i guess reminiscent of all these spy or superhero movies where women use their beguiling nature against men to get the upper hand? like i am woman so i will flirt with man to distract while my team escapes and hooho it works :)) it was slightly different and not overly sexy or about flirting but it still had the same undertone. like really? the best way to get the other barbies out was to continue to conform to patriarchal standards and pump the ken's egos? surely there's a better way? yes the kens are idiots and turning them against each other works but it still felt a bit icky. i guess i just find this trope annoying being like... ok i am being taken advantage of men so i will USE the thing they oppress me for against them,, idk surely surely there's another way.

also America's character's plan of kidnapping the barbies and ... using very true and very valuable feminist lines to snap them out of it felt... weird? like what she was saying was 100% true but taking them out of context and almost using them as one liners made them feel less serious???? like making women "wake up" by just telling them about how the patriarchy takes advantage of them is just... idk. like in real life women who are indoctrinated and truly believe misogynistic things won't just wake up by being told such a line. and i know the barbies are brainwashed to forget their powerful feminist backgrounds so it's not entirely comparable to the women i just mentioned but... idk it felt disingenuous. i did laugh my ass off at the guitar scene but it still had that ickiness attached like..

i would watch this movie again, no doubt about it and i will definitely pick up on new things and easter eggs etc

mattel's board did make me laugh, perfectly casted and performed but again- mattel has its name on this. they know what they are doing. they know we will love this movie and not demand any change. it will still be full of men controlling the output of production. it will still put out products that don't reflect all young people's desires. it will still make products that uphold current societal norms. so having these buffoons in the board meeting just gets soured a bit when knowing these people will still be in power in real life....

the ruth bit made me cry and no i do not care that her ghost is just around. i loved it

the marketing team knows exactly what they are doing. the huge push of promotion made me gobble up all their interviews and im sure people will be buying all the barbie products. i am yet another victim of capitalism and i will thank them for it when i inevitably buy their you are kenough sweater

again i loved this movie despite all the bad things abt it. i love being critical of the wider impact of this movie while still enoying it as a piece of media and entertainment. i needed this movie and fuck it i want to go to barbieland so bad. i know i shouldnt. i love ken and think about ken more than i do barbie which is fucked up but the movie also played into it in a way,, as described before. i mean even ryan gosling being so iconic in all the interviews is adding into this lol. how many people are posting videos of him vs videos of the actresses i wonder.

also cockring ken. BUT HE WASNT WEARING THE COCKRING SO WHATS THE POINT EVEN???

the narrator was an interesting choice, personally wasn't a huge fan of it but it did somewhat fit with the rest of the cinematic language of the story so i can't say much about it

mattel knows exactly what its doing with putting its name on this movie. i think greta did a great job despite the constraints that mattel probably put on her,, it's hard to tell if the flaws of the movie come from the corporation's infuence or from the writer and director's creative decisions, most likely it's a combo of both. again i believe that the actors and designers and production team did a fantastic job with what they had, they committed to the bit. i would have loved for the movie to have been better, but it is still a great film in my book. as said before i would watch it again and would still enjoy it despite the flaws. the himbo part of my brain can shake hands with the media literacy one and emerge with an overall positive experience, yet PLEASE do not think this is the ultimate feminist movie, it is a step in the right direction, it could have been better, and i understand if you don't like it at all. but also i dont think it would be right to blindingly love it and call it perfect bc it's not.

[maybuds]

Believe me I’m no fan of late-stage capitalism, but I do feel like that last anon is in a particularly doom-laden mood with regards to creative works right now?! Yes of course the big studios and streaming services have a stultifying effect. But step even a tiny bit outside the mainstream big-budget stuff and there are amazing films being made. Not to mention that non-English language independent films are exciting and interesting and able to reach a bigger audience than ever before, thanks to the internet. Additionally, the sweeping statement that “the music isn’t even that good” just seems…unjustified? There’s loads of amazing music out there right now, even on the most mainstream labels. And you have the opportunity to fund a massive range of creators directly via Bandcamp and Patreon! But beyond that, what about all the people who don’t go to gigs just to take insta-content? What about all the people who go to watch tiny local rock bands play in the pub? Or folk bands play in a barn? Or world music played at a night event in a museum? If you spend a lot of time looking at instagram and TikTok, of course you’ll see the shiny people who only go to activities in order to film themselves there. But there are so many people who don’t do that, who listen and watch and pay attention in the moment. Who close their eyes against tears because they’re finally seeing the band they loved when they were 13, and weren’t allowed to go. Who use VPN to hunt down obscure Hong Kong movies from the 90s. Who go to themed film festivals at their local independent cinema. Yes it’s annoying that the Western mainstream is largely so shallow, but there are so many ways to access more interesting art these days…I just feel like a completely negative view is misguided and misleading. I hope the other anon can find joy in turning their attention away from the most dominant (and chronically online) Western pop culture in favour of things they value and love.

i love those descriptions, and they give me a lot of hope; they’re actually a much needed reminder about what meaningful engagement with creative works out there can still do if we just look for it. but at the same time, i also understand where the other anon is coming from, because there really is something to be said about the state of creative media production these days in general and especially the media engagement that currently happens a lot on social media. so that even if it wasn’t the barbie or oppenheimer movie but, say, some other foreign independent arthouse film from the late ’90s, or of one of the local rock bands, the way people ‘aestheticize’ it and flatten it out on social media is … frustrating to say the least. and the fact that this is one of the surest ways to really get more people to listen or watch is just so bleak to look at right now when you want to share your art to people. in a sense, it’s difficult for those who want to create meaningful art and live off of it, when all you get is this celebrity-obsessed culture. it’s like the way you can earn sufficiently from it is if you made ‘creative content’ that’s as consumable and as palatable to profitability as possible, plus you have to have your ‘identity’ (branding) down too. and even if you decided to exit the mainstream and wanted to go independent, you will still need income anyway. art is not separable from the material world, no matter how abstract it is. the way so many creative minds and energies are being ruined right now by branding and market logic is just a grim reality we’re being faced with more and more, even outside the west. and we get this excess of shallow media, and it’s what’s everywhere right now, and it’s melting all our brains, no matter if we still engage with meaningful art whenever we can.

still!!! i do have to thank you for a very hopeful message re: creative work and genuine engagement to works of art. despite everything genuinely loving art really is what it’s all about! just have to keep looking for more hehe

[doveofmourning]

The way I'm seeing people consume the Barbie movie uncritically and call it a feminist masterpiece is concerning.

It's giving the same kind of energy as how this site was in the mid 2010's, where we just somehow decided collectively that Men Were All Bad Actually ™️ and like ignored all the ways that's fucked up and that categorically not just dismissing but actively shitting on and harassing a group of people based on an identity they literally can't control is bad.

Like idk I thought we were finally acknowledging the damage that did to feminism. I thought we were finally acknowledging the way that bred a self loathing into men that isolated them and stopped coalition building, and the way young men of color (especially black men) were treated in explicitly racist ways but people used the guise of "no I'm just mad at men" to justify it, and the way trans men CONTINUE to be treated on this website... but here we are, getting real fucking hype about how good the Barbie movie treats the Kens.

And the thing is that while what the Kens do is bad they aren't given genuine agency in the narrative. They didn't like. Make this choice. It's a stupid and logically inconsistent argument that they did, one that's contradicted by the movie itself. They're infantalized by the Barbies at every turn and if ANY Ken has literally any formal education they're an exception. The Barbies don't know where the Kens live (spoiler: they are literally homeless) and they don't care. The Kens are quite literally second class citizens, but the movie doesn't even look at this as a bad thing! It's uninterested in the actually feminist idea that gender should not be used to cause divides or power embalances; instead, it acts out a female supremacy revenge fantasy on screen and then pats itself on the back for being so kind about how it makes the Kens second class citizens. Like sure, it says, the Kens aren't allowed higher education, or a Supreme Court seat, or homes, which are things women do have in the western world that this movie is made for as its primary audience, but at least we're not withholding healthcare or acting sexually violently towards them! And like... that's not the flex you think it is!!!! That's the bare fucking minimum!

Some of you have never read feminist theory and it fucking shows.

bell hooks didn't write The will to change just for you all to uncritically felate a corporate propaganda film as a feminist masterwork. Audre Lorde didn't say "You do not have to be me in order for us to fight alongside each other. I do not have to be you to recognize that our wars are the same," so that you could say that coalition building isn't important, actually, and you'd rather men just suffer than for us to reach healthier societal views on gender.

I'm especially disappointed in the trans people, who should fucking know better, for regurgitating these ideas.

We have to do better about how we treat men even conceptually, because the structural power that men have is not the dominant experience many men have with regards to oppression and we would be better served to fight those battles together. We have to do better because men do not deserve to be isolated from the movement because of their gender. (And no. They don't just need a thicker skin, because a lot of this hasn't just been surface level. It's been vitriolic and insipid, for years now.) We have to do better because once we start making masculinity the devil it's so much easier to hate butches, and trans women, and any woman who's perceived to have masculine interests or features or behaviors. We have to do better because men are still fucking people and deserve to be treated with every bit of kindness and dignity that women are entitled to. (And that's not even getting into how this behavior affects masculine nonbinary people, who get the brunt of this hatred while simultaneously experiencing little to none of the privilege you insist is afforded them by the maleness you percieve.)

Idk I guess I just expected better and I just hoped we wouldn't be worshipping something that pretty clearly flies in the face of what feminists have worked for since like. The 60's. :/

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/7/2022 - GOLEMANIA! PT 2: THE KEEP (1983)

It's hard to know what to say about Michael Mann's famously benighted World War II fantasy THE KEEP, a film whose tortured production history seems to get more attention than its actual content. At this point nobody needs me to attempt to describe the shooting delays that plagued it, nor the constant re-imagining of the monstrous villain, nor the funds Paramount withheld from its completion, nor their forced elimination of 114 minutes from Michael Mann's lost 210-minute cut. It's hard to say which is a greater loss, that of Mann's total vision, or that of the FX planned for the crippled grand finale, as 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY alum Wally Veevers took those secrets with him to the grave midway through production. The currently available version of the film is marred by bad sound, a mutilated narrative, and some will say cheesy creature design. However, a growing number of others (myself included) will tell you that THE KEEP remains beautiful and hypnotic, perhaps even because of—not in spite of—its dreamy anti-logic.

The plot, such as it is, involves a deployment of Nazi soldiers occupying a mysterious mountain citadel in the Carpathians. When some of these interlopers steal a silver seal out of its walls, they unwittingly unleash a demonic entity who begins to tear through the Nazi ranks. The mystified officers assume this bloodbath is effected by partisan activity in the surrounding village, and the resulting conflict between the humans disguises the existence of the creature, known as Molasar, as it grows in strength. Meanwhile, its activation has awakened an angelic being, Glaeken Trismegestus (Scott Glenn, sporting a pair of violet contacts that remind me of certain Barbie-inspired action figures I had as a kid), who soon arrives to put the monster back in storage before it can escape out into the world at large.

Even were the unnatural gaps in the narrative filled in, THE KEEP might still have the strange problem of lacking a clear hero. The film is populated largely by Nazis, and even the conflicted Jürgen Prochnow isn't much help to the side of good. The other non-Nazis squabble amongst themselves about whether to escape, or wreak a messy vengeance in cooperation with Molasar. (I feel really weird saying this, but the great Ian McKellen as the creature's embittered familiar, half-buried in old age makeup and forcing an "old man" voice, is the worst thing in the film) Molasar bears a tempting resemblance to the Golem, a powerful supernatural protector from Jewish folklore; it is outraged when it learns of the Nazi genocide and uses the words "my people" to describe their victims, although the exact origins of the being itself never become clear. The closest thing we have to a protagonist is Glaeken Trismegestus (whose name presumably refers to the syncretic Hellenic deity Hermes Trismegistus), who is so inhuman that it's hard to relate to him--and let's be honest, it's disappointing when he explains that Molasar is not an avenger who will put a stop to the Holocaust, which it seems genuinely upset about, but a force of abject destruction that must be contained.

When a story is missing a heroic center of gravity, it can be hard to say what it is really about--what are its moral or spiritual motivations. The strongest piece of direction we get here is actually from Jürgen Prochnow, who identifies the Keep as a place that brings primordial emotional material to the surface, defying the training of society and spreading madness. In the same fevered monologue, he further identifies the Nazi scourge in a similar way, as an uncontrolled expression of the worst elements in human nature. I suppose that, along these lines, Molasar is meant to be the embodiment of sinful wrath, a morally inferior, uncivilized response to adversity. It all sounds a little pretentious on paper, but the fact that THE KEEP is more about the conflict between archetypal psychic energies than it is about the trials of individual people may contribute to its unique dreaminess. When the baffled Sturmbannführer (Gabriel Byrne) asks Molasar where it comes from, the creature replies, "I am from you."

But, let us be real, THE KEEP's true motivation is aesthetic, and there it succeeds in spite of the many torments it faced in production. The gauzy shadows, lasers cutting through fog, Tangerine Dream's alien score, and the fabulous Molasar should still hold the attention even of viewers who don't care to deal with its philosophic underpinnings. It is painful to know that Wally Veevers may have intended to give us a 2001-worthy finale, but what remains in its place is not too shabby--certainly nothing worth rejecting the film over. If nothing else, THE KEEP remains a treat for the senses. And it would have given Carl Jung a boner.

[geoffpesos]

We are half the population of the entire world. We birth you. Choosing to not bother trying to understand us or meet us or communicate in any way is literally illogical. Larping as being above emotions is bypassing the human experience, and humans being a highly social species (who make decisions mostly based on emotion) who have only been able to thrive because of co-operation - is the biggest self L if you actually think about it, logically.

We are trying to help you even if it's not perfect. It takes two and sometimes it feels like you are trying to win a competition against us when we are on the same fucking team.

I can't believe I laid with a man who in the same ten minutes said women need to shut up and give us a a break and then told me how both his brothers beat the fuck out of him every day. Yeah sure your mum is fucking crazy but your dad isn't even here. And he beat the fuck out of you. And im not either of them so who really needs to give you a break? Because I'm right here and I've given you about 50 breaks and groomed you and decorated you and tolerated mind-warping clownery and recovered myself privately only to come back again and again.

Do you know what I did to my brother? I wasn't a perfect sister and was a little shit sometimes, id frame him for shit as a distraction to steal chocolate, or tell him the police would fly in through the window 20 stories up if he didnt go to sleep. But I'd also automatically cop shit everytime he did something bad just for existing as the older sibling, even though i was a fucking child as well?? Anyway for the most part i used to make him paper crowns or we would take turns pretending to be a dog because we always wanted a pet but could never have one because we had to travel back and forth all the time between our parents who loved but fucking hated each other and were so unhappy but wouldn't leave but of course it's not our fault. Is it? Stay together for the kids but it's never the kids fault right?

I'd tie his hair up in scrunchies and roll him around in a barbie car and push him on the janky yellow and green swing set in the front yard. We'd record fake radio shows on a tape recorder and sneak into each others bunk beds and hug each other and cry when our parents wouldn't stop yelling at us. Id be sent to look for him when he would inevitably get lost EVERY time we went to the supermarket. When I was old enough to look after him without our parents we would go into the city and sit on rooftops and eat entire pints of Ben and jerry's. When we were older he saw my tongue piercing before my parents did but he never dobbed me in. I'm crushed under the pressure or how much I know I'd do for him when I don't even have the capacity to do enough for myself.

I don't want to hear any more shit about women needing to give "us" a break. Bc who is "us"? You and the homies? You and the absent or abusive father? You and the people who keep you small? You and the people who see self-imposed suffering as a badge of honour that allows you to externalise your pain on to the "weaker" sex? You and who?

Think about who you align yourself with, think about why, and if you cant come to me correct, don't come at all. Just like me.

And think about why you care about that in the first place.

[keefwho]

August 25 - 2024 Sunday

10:40am

I haven't been journaling mostly because I was getting to sleep late every night and also my power went out the day before yesterday overnight which was terrible.

Friday was looking good for most of the day, I remember feeling good. I especially looked forward to all the plans I had been making because I finally feel like I can do things I want to do if I start committing to when I plan them instead of rescheduling until I'm in the perfect mood. But the power went out at 4pm while I was drawing. It looked pretty bad but my hope was that it would be back in about 6-8 hours like the usual average but it took 20. That night was fine, DS and I called on my phone and she screenshared memes while I drank. It was really fun. I didn't expect to talk about some of the stuff that came up while also stressed about the power loss but I was very open to it, I guess I was just in the right mood. It was good that we did. I always like to think I'm good to talk about anything at just about any time and I mean that. If it's needed, it's needed. I would expect the same thing from my friends.

Saturday was rough, I woke up from my rough sleep and became extremely stressed about the situation. It didn't help that I was also extremely hungry and starting to feel dirty from not showering. My toilet was also disgusting since I couldn't flush it. I remember laying on the floor and listening to Bob Ross while waiting for anyone to respond to my DMs and that got me to relax. I asked dad if he could take me to the store where I got some much needed snacks and a big container of water to flush my toilet with. So things were looking up. Something that really got to me was my LED strip going out. The battery it's hooked up to did not accurately calculate how much energy it still had, not even close. Good to know I can't rely on that I guess. BR and JG kept me company in the morning a little and that was nice, even if I couldn't use my mic because of the poor connection. I think the biggest thing I needed was company, but that also says something about my state of being. I think I should be able to be okay for 20 hours alone, even if it's dark and I lack basic amenities. Looking back I wonder why I wasn't able to focus on playing things on my switch or reading one of my books. Eventually I had accepted my fate and laid down, more or less banking on the power coming back before I decided to get up. And it did, at about 1pm. I can not describe the intense relief that happens when it comes back, every time.

The first thing I did was clean up and get myself showered. I was so happy to finally get my dishes clean and my hands washed. The shower was heavenly. For lunch I threw together a chicken stew but it wasn't great. I think I've learned I need the tyson grilled chicken chunks to make it real good, thats my best option right now but I used canned chicken instead. I had that and a chocolate twinkie with a late cup of coffee while I prepared everything for book club. I had to rush it but I got it done just in time. We had a good turnout but UP didn't show despite showing a lot of interest and promising to be there. I guessed correctly that she must have slept through it. When I asked her, she said she was really excited and was reading the book out loud to some people, kids maybe? I thought that sounded sweet. She also asked if she could bring other people along and I do want new recruits so that was promising.

After the book club, TK, WX and I hung out until real late. We went to that pink, Barbie-esque world I love and had some interesting conversation. GOOD conversation because we all shush and let each other talk and really listen. It was so refreshing given the last week's poor success conversing with people. I had one big takeaway from our discussion: that the only thing you need to do to be worthy of love is to be yourself. It sounds corny but here is my logic. I'm someone who has struggled to be my own person my entire life. This is largely due to pressure to conform from a young age, especially from my parents. I'm someone who has mistook poor dynamics for true connection, mostly becoming attached to others and incorporating into their identity. But the purest form of connection happens between 2 individuals that recognize each other as such. It takes a lot more and means a lot more when someone doesn't have to take interest in you or be there for you but they do it anyways. They can go off and have their own adventures but they always come back to you. That requires both parties to be their own people, to be themselves. I'm not sure real love can happen between two people without that. So instead of focusing on things like financial status or even something important like emotional maturity, I want to focus on being who I am. The good thing is that I assume most of us want to be better people inherently so stuff like maturity will still come with my self discovery. I dont think I worded any of this as well as I meant to but it's more for me to get out and process anyways.

Saturday night I felt connected to the people I was talking to and I contribute that to my recent focus on what is really happening in my life in this moment and viewing myself as an independent person doing MY own thing. Right now I'm trying to change my relationship with others. Usually I am afraid of change and I still am, but I'm putting the power in my own hands. If things have to change then at least I have the reigns. I really am tired of being guided around by others or by circumstances. In regard to others, I think I'm learning to enforce real boundaries.

10:55pm

6.5/10

This morning I took the time to shave my whole body and super moisturize, that felt good. I made a delicious combo of spam, green beans, and spicy ramen. The new frozen green beans I got are really good. Then my dad taught me how to use a chainsaw briefly. It was cool, a little scary and harder than I thought. Then I made and sipped my coffee while I got on VRchat with TK. I didn't have any plans or desires and neither did she so we decided to experience whatever happened in public worlds. We found ourselves in some sort of anime murder high school RP thing they we incorporated into and actually played. She was the one actually doing it and I was her emotional support horse. There weren't enough slots at first for me to participate and I had to keep stepping away to prep lunch. We were there for awhile and DV joined too. He told me all about his current racing phase. After he left, we went to a hide and seek world which was a cool little experience. Then I got off to eat my lunch and chill with DS. We watched Twilight Breaking Dawn part 2 and I liked it. I think the only one I hated was BD Part 1. We also watched some Otakon content while she made her birthday party announcement pic which I posted in my announcements channel. In bed we did our usual puzzles and then I joined BR and friends for an hour of Minecraft but I was kinda bored.

[denimbex1986]

'In "Barbie," America Ferrera's character Gloria tells us that it's impossible to be a woman, while "Oppenheimer" demonstrates that the violence of patriarchy also makes it impossible to be a good man.

When faced with the consequences of their own actions, both Robert Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy) and Barbie (Margot Robbie) seek to exercise strong leadership that is remorseful, accountable and rooted in feminist values of repair and community — but in Oppenheimer's patriarchy, as in the patriarchy of our real world, practicing feminist leadership is punished.

Recently, Warner Bros., perhaps inspired by the underlying message of "Barbie," apologized for tweets that made light of the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, just days before the anniversary of these events. This is a version of leadership that Oppenheimer was denied and that Barbie is able to enjoy: strength through accountability and repair.

When "Barbie begins," we see snippets of an idealized Barbieland. Lawyer Barbie stands up in court and says, "I have no difficulty holding both logic and feeling at the same time. And it does not diminish my powers, it expands them." On the other hand, as a successful man in a patriarchal nation, Oppenheimer was denied feelings. He couldn't unionize his workplace without consequences and he couldn't express remorse or regret about the use of the atomic bomb. As soon as he did, he was punished.

Our political leaders are similarly denied remorse. President Obama's visit to the Hiroshima Peace Memorial, which marked the first time a U.S. president had visited the site where nuclear bombs were first used in warfare, was derided as an apology tour.

"Barbie's' Gloria (Ferrera) is exasperated. "I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us," she said. I, too, am just so tired —of seeing men contort themselves to hide their best qualities: kindness, softness, joy, and care.

I am so tired of men choosing to be hard in order to not be seen as feminine. I'm so tired of men choosing violence, emotional and physical, of excusing the violence of other men, in order to stay in the boys club. I am so tired of the gender binary reinforcing patriarchy, and of patriarchy reinforcing the gender binary. I'm so tired of men attacking women and the queer community to prove themselves to other men. I'm so tired of "girl dads" being celebrated, rather than girl dad qualities being extended to children of all genders. We all lose when these are our societal norms.

In both "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer," men perform masculinity for other men, preserving their egos by harming the women around them: in "Barbie, the Kens battle throughout the film, only working together when attacking what Barbie has built. Her dream house becomes Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House, and the Barbies become subservient to the Kens. In "Oppenheimer," women are sexual fantasies, mothers-to-be or mothers. In both cases, as trophy wives or fantasies, for men to prove their worth to one another, for patriarchy to succeed, women must be the second sex and queerness must be isolated (Sorry, Allan).

What would have happened if Oppenheimer lived in Barbieland – a world, Will Ferrell tells us, without real weapons? What could he have created, what world would we live in today, if he had been able to hold feelings and logic, and the U.S. had never developed or dropped the atomic bomb?

In "Oppenheimer," when the rules break down and he begins to question the scale of violence that the state is pursuing, he is punished. In "Barbie," when the rules break down and her heels hit the floor, her community surrounds her with care and concern. She is encouraged to seek out the root causes of her unease. And, in the real world, she is confronted with the consequences of her life: that she has been complicit in creating impossible standards for women, and that the Kens have been taken for granted.

In "Oppenheimer," the only accountability he faces is damage to his career, his ego and his sense of self. He is never accountable to communities most harmed by his work. He imagines the damage of the bomb, but unlike Barbie, he is never confronted with the communities he has hurt, the lives destroyed by his creation. Even at the end of the movie, as he fears the world has been set on fire, he never has to experience loss like the citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, or downwinders, Indigenous communities and uranium miners across the southwest U.S. have.

The day I saw "Oppenheimer," I also watched a Congressional hearing on Afghanistan. Like "Oppenheimer," the hearing had no testimony from communities directly impacted by U.S. militarism. We continue to repeat our history because we have failed to practice accountability, listen to dissent and address harm with community, care and a commitment to repair. And part of why we have not learned these lessons is because patriarchy, as we see in the film, punishes dissent so effectively that we are afraid of dissenting at all. Just look at how Ken is scared of dissenting until he is introduced to patriarchy. Neither the Kens nor Los Alamos' scientists can break ranks without punishment.

Unlike Oppenheimer, Barbie is directly confronted with the harms of promoting an idealized feminine image and, through Gloria, is reimagined as an ordinary Barbie celebrating a life renewed through the promise of equality. She is confronted with the impact of taking Ken for granted: instead of seeking equality, the Kens enact revenge, trashing Barbieland and taking steps to consolidate their power. When the Barbies come back to restore Barbieland, almost miraculously, Barbie apologizes. She knows she has taken Ken for granted, and the other Barbies also realize that the weight of unyielding leadership has become too heavy. It's both a burden and an opportunity; one that they want to share.

"Barbie's" matriarchy is imperfect, but that is the point: it is capable of evolution, and the movie follows not just Barbie's journey, but the journey of Barbieland as it adapts to new challenges. Barbieland's challenges are flat feet, the revolution of the Kens, and adopting variations of Barbie with existential crises. Our challenges in the real world are many: climate crisis, endless militarism and a patriarchal, homophobic and racist state. "Barbie" shows us it is possible to adapt to meet those challenges. We can prioritize abundant life, instead of violence and power. We can follow Barbie's lead and work with Allan to enact queer liberation. We can build a society based on accountability and care.

If we imbue feminist values into our politics and our culture, our institutions and how we treat one another, we can uproot patriarchy and embrace abundant care for one another. And maybe then, we can have more dance parties and fewer nukes.'

[faustocosgrove]

weird ass dream. was in the city with some friends. friend is freaking out for some reason, i tell him not to worry because this is happening in my dream. i tell him to check for himself because i can’t navagate this city very well so the parts of town i don’t know won’t be there. we hold hands and fly into the sky and literally the areas of town i dont know either are gaping holes or else just a mass of houses with no streets. we inspect teh sky. it’s the inside of a gigantic blimp. he is somehow more scared.

the city is now changed. it is still clearly an american city, but everyone was speaking chinese. no chinese decorations, it wasn’t china town. my friends have al been replaced by people who are chinese. we went to a museum and it was an american history museum set in the colonial era. the walls were lined with pictures but that was the only thing in the museum except for a literal pile of fiesta ware. i explainied to my friends that fiesta ware is still manufactured in west virginia to this day, then the museum guide started saying the same thing. so i scurried away to the next room. the museum was a house previoisly lived in by a guy who liked pulling pranks on people to make them think they were haunted. then there was an actual ghost in teh next room. in order to get away from teh ghost we all go running out of the museum but it’s night time now. was noon just a few minutes ago. we got cofee from a vending machine but it was poppin cookin cofee and we each got like barbie sized cofees and we had to make them ourselves.

then there was this weird ass wooden statue int he middle of the sidewalk, which meant the ghost from the museum was after us or something. so we met up with my other friends who i thought had been replaced but weren’t and soem random children(?) and otehr peole i didn’t know. there was a lady with three legs. the middle leg was also a right leg. she had 3 shoes and a natural gait. anyway in order to get rid of the ghost we all stood in a circle and like, held hands for a seance? but in stead we all took out our cell phones ans liek between each hand holding we had cellphones. everyone had flip phones. this kid was freaking out because they had a phone but no cell service. a disinterested lady with a page haircut and a blue dress pulled the sim card out of her phone and tossed it at teh kid and i was wondering how her phone was going to work without the sim card when my neighbor’s cat made something fall over loudly and woke me up. i have no idea what because i didn’t want to clean it up whatever it was.

so in spite of proving to a dream version of my friend first thing in this dream that it was in fact a dream it was not lucid and i was terrified of this ghost throughout.

———————————————————————————————

…so lately for dreams posting i type them up with the intention of letting it sit so i can come back to it later to make sure it’s a post worthy dream. and upon a reread like none of them are lol. but then i logged on to tumblr and found out that last night while i was asleep during my dream where symbolic ye olde cell phone technology and an actual cat saved me from something evil that my real life mutual who is a kittycat had tagged me in a post about ye olde technology.

so i am a logical man and i know this is just a coincidence but boy howdy am i feeling possessed in this chillis tonight.

[straycatboogie]

2023/08/01 English

BGM: Ryuichi Sakamoto - War & Peace (Cornelius Remix)

I'm still thinking about the troubles about the movies "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer". Indeed, I need to do so with trying to seek for the truth to learn again like a journalist. Therefore I should accept that I am saying my "incomplete" and "rare" opinion at this moment. But I have to say that I have found some opinions as "We Japanese should say that 'We can't allow any atomic bombs' clearly". In this situation, I feel a kind of Devil start whispering as "Really?" or "Is that true?" in me. I think that some Japanese would say that "That atomic bombs were what we needed" or "We should have done that decision to finish that war". Is this a kind of terrible "relativism" or "cynicism"? You would say that "Then, how do YOU think?". I want to say that "No more HIROSHIMAS". It's from the same reason that I can't allow any terrorism or massacre which can kill a lot of innocent people. But, that Devil's whisper comes me as some uncool, but critical replies as "Then, How could we finish that war sooner? Could you suggest any alternative solution?" and "How do you think not to increase victims?". TBH, I am always fighting this kind of whispers every day.

I guess that at that war time their "common sense" or "ethics" had not been updated as now. Indeed, I am just saying from my imagination so I need your alternative opinion, but I guess the concept "peace" couldn't be sublime as now at that time. The era that "war" could be a way of solution for the problems, therefore not be a prohibited thing… But I have to say that this is just a silly speculation. In other words, I am stepping into a silly conspiracy. Now, we know how terrible Auschwitz was. Or Dachau, Hiroshima, and Nagasaki… we can also read "Man's Search For Meaning" (in Japan, we can read "Wildfire"). From them, I can learn that wars must be irrational "physically". But at that time, they couldn't see that the wars must kill weak people meaninglessly as bugs. Could the weak people be "visible"?

But, I also don't want to say that "We Japanese must allow them because they must do that decision to finish the war. Atomic bombs must be needed". Yes, I am really wishy-washy. I am moved so easily by wind's currency. But, even though I try to understand that limit at that time, I think that to criticize that period's primitive common sense from the current time, by the current common sense. To look at that past with keen and critical eyes would mean to look at our footsteps to the current place. How have we walked our way to here (it means the "history"). Accepting "they reached their limit" and "They couldn't choose alternative, better way" with realistic attitude, but returning to the principle of "But, we have to save the dignities of victims. Be human". I believe that is possible. So I don't want to deny the revisionist's old good logic as "Fascists had done good works" or "Hitler had helped some people". Of course, I won't allow the holocaust and also Eugenic thought (I am autistic therefore this thought would hurt me/us). I want to make my logic for the revisionists or cynical people. How can I be real/actual to make my opinion? That's what I am thinking.

Today I worked early. This afternoon, I wrote my poem as usual. This evening, I had time so I read Hisaki Matsuura's essays. I started thinking my proses (in particular, I want to write "essays" or "columns") about the poetry. But I have been writing a journal at every morning and also a poem at every afternoon. This means I have been doing too much output everyday therefore I have to face the lack of inputting. To stop this journal could be a solution… Reading Hisaki Matsuura, I started thinking if I would read his novels and proses more. Write as you think, as you want… Hisaki taught me that truth (by quoting his favorite critic, Roland Barthes). This year, I want to read Proust's "In Search of Lost Time" (Indeed, I would never be able to read it completely). I am also interested in Louis Carroll's poetry… If I have a certain free time, I want to watch great movies about Hiroshima or The Pacific War itself.

Departure at Dusk

A sunset time I enjoyed Lloyd Cole's "No Blue Skies" I remembered the days I had read the novel "High Rise" At that time I had already had two drunken eyes People said what they should, but I believed I must be wise

In Japanese, we write dusk as "the time he can't be seen" The time a owl start flying… Yes, it's what Hegel would mean I had adored to be a writer a long time ago, since I was 14 Troubles happened… but I tried to keep on saving my eyes keen Since this summer of 48, I started this creation series with Muse I am single with no kids, therefore I have nothing to lose Like this creating process, I've enjoyed a private, spiritual cruise

A pen, a notebook, and a smartphone. These are what I need I just keep on living this life passionately, and keep this slow speed I'm now at the dusk time of my life… But I just try to keep my creed

[vent-blog-procced-with-caution]

I'm an autistic w/ fibro who's still trying to fully grasp the concepts ableism and saneism.

I don't want to push my uncomfortable relation to other kids back when i was in school on ableism. It wasn't because others expected the same social clearness of me as everyone else. It was because: I live in the countryside. I went to a small school. I'm a Jehova's witness. With parents who did not get along. With no relatives nearby. With a mother who was: -bossy, -overweight, -had water retention in legs, -diagnosed with depressions, -had cancer 2 times, -had a twin sister who died at 41 -had a mother who died of cancer, -died in her 50s of cancer, -an unaware psychopath. With a father who was dx'd with shizoid PD, which I read only recently, he didn't tell me what PD he has.

I was never just autistic, I was a weirdo in all sortsof ways. My life is strange and inconsistent in logic.

Susanna had 11 siblings, all with biblical names, she was un-self-aware-ly racist & right-leaning; she was homophobic, she didn't like Jehova's witnesses (knew nothing about them). looking back, I was pretty much begging her (and others) to tolerate me. Tolerate my religion, tolerate my fashion choices...

I knew more than them, I was smarter than them. My friendship with Susanna was humiliating.

(one day later)

around sixth grade i started wondering if everyone my age actually thought they were special; smarter than everyone their age; different. Was the only unusual thing about me actually my massive ego?

I knew me first. I thought others were different from me first, not that I was different from them. But I just did me!* It was a slow and maybe long foreshadowed "Oh. Others don't think/care about [...] as much as I do." ...other teenagers just believe what they're told, they just go along with the adults.

Where did all my thoughts come from? Why did I plan out how many toys/ books/ pieces of a specific toy or brand I wanted to own? I plotted my purchases, there had to be even numbers of everything by the end. I had a limit and plan of how many toys/collectibles I wanted. I stopped buying stuff after my planned collection was finished. (Though I started a new collection of brand-new barbies a while later and then 5 EverAfterDolls.) I had a phase of only wanting to go through holes (buildings and playground facilities) a certain amount of even times. I left everything the same way I entered it. I made sure I ate either 2 or 5 pieces of something, or a number that can be divided into packs of 2s and 5s. so any number from 7 up was safe.

I'm thinking about my experiences with echolalia.

I monolouge at the supermarket to be in alignment with what reasons I had for buying something, like what I wanted to use it for, when I planned to eat it, whether I have enough of something at home, if the nutrients are balanced out. I'm very obsessive and badly versed with nutrients. I can't eat cheesecake with nothing, it's not engaging enough in texture, taste or procedure. My parent messed up teaching me about food, I was guilted for eating what THEY had bought. She didn't teach me how to make healthy food, she neglected my food education. Most of what I have to guide me are her standarts for food.

I had weird psychological development, I went from being a baby to noticing I archieve this overhuman enlightment and that i can have this deep understanding i can't explain to Ines

my psycho-sexual fantasy/ traumamixedkink is getting beaten up, hurt, dominated, violated, abused, bullied, pushed around, scared, controlled, restrained, forced. so i can feel pityable? so that i feel the right to pity myself. ; My kink that is rooted deep in my psychology is outsiders getting beaten up and preyed on. I was an outsider, it was painful, i wanted to erase myself - school was traumatizing, i was burnt out, i don't wanna go back to being surrounded by stupid people

*I am a concious being, made choices

hyperactive imagination all my life. speak dialougue out loud for my filly posters and later imagined stories at night in bed or at daytime locked in bathroom. fantasize in bed at night for hours or long periods of time. i at least from 5yrs old on, fantazized about tied up humans, not ppl around me, no, female cartoon characters. cages & bars too. I didn´t tell anyone, i couldnot possibly explain, especially at that age, why i thought, fantasized about that. fetishistic kid. I wanted control when playing with other kids, I didn´t know what they were thinking. and i lived in a small world, i was self-centered.

Sometimes i think, was i a little psychopath as a small child? it creeps me out. Im kept wondering how much of what i experienced is common for kids. There are kooks in this world, one-of-a-kinds, i would really like to meet all of them. I was such a weirdo child. but my life is mundane too, i do unremarkable things. knowing i was the exception among my peers all my life, can´t be seperated from being alive & doing normal stuff, for me. I don´t really know what its like to grow up as an allistic child. I can do things like get out of bed, clean, eat cause they´re morally neutral in relation to my convictions. Posting on tumblr, i still have to figure out if it´s worth it, i mainly write an autobiography for later purposes, and I don´t have a program where i can have all my writing in one place. and making it public is smthng i don´t think about most of the time, its just a meaningless habit.

[moonrisecalamityretreat]

padding the film || loic || trial 6.8 || re: vote open

“‘Kay.”

Click.

Jinpachi isn’t done talking for more than a few seconds before Loic has already put his vote in. He would have put it in sooner, honestly, if most of his energy wasn’t going towards trying to not astral project during Jinpachi’s rambling in the same way that he would when Maxime would get on him when he was a teenager for coming back with yet another piercing he super didn’t get permission to have done.

His vote, likely, is obvious, and it has been obvious since they walked into this place and have been forced to listen to this freakshow ramble on about literally nothing for several minutes of their lives. Honestly, they were never going to get them back, and he was clearly so delusional that there was no concept of reality with him anymore. He couldn’t see the truths in front of him even now, so there was no point in trying to rationalize with him anymore. There was no more logical discussion or meaningful debate to be found in a place where all reason had gone out of the window, what, several years prior? Whenever this whole cult was founded?

Or, maybe, it was even further back, long before the cult was, as his brother put it, even a glimmer in Jinpachi’s eye.

Looking at the other man blandly with a raised eyebrow, Loic gestures with one of his hands like “well?” while his other rests on his hip.

“What do you want? An impassioned argument about why hope is better or whatever? You wouldn’t listen to it, would you? You don’t care, that much is obvious from your whole…”

Loic moves his hand in a motion towards Jinpachi’s entire body.

“....everything. As for your weirdo freak appeal to ‘what is out there in the world for you now that I’ve made the apocalpyse, uhuhuhuhu!!~’--”

His voice pitches up to match Jinpachi’s, and he places a hand against his cheek as he winks and sticks his tongue out in a jokey, cutesy manner, likely in an attempt to mock the persona that Jinpachi puts on whenever he’s bored with the other ten personas he’s got going on. The act for Loic, though, drops quickly.

“--You’re seriously even more out of your mind than we all thought if you think that means, uh…anything to me? Seriously. You’re the one who did freaky research into all of us to learn our secrets and stuff, aren’t you? The people I love are in this room with me. My family’s by my side right now.”

He, obviously, glances first at Maxime and then looks down at Yuriko as well, giving her a smile before his attention returns to Jinpachi.

[♫♫♫]

Loic’s hand reaches up to card through his bangs, flipping his hair in a very Luca Knight-esque manner with a movie star grin on his face. It doesn’t, though, like the times in the past when he would put it on, seem faked. It feels genuine, like a sort of resolve has settled onto his shoulders that isn’t about to be shaken off any time soon.

“You’re a weirdo. No one here--respects you. No one here wants to play your little reindeer games anymore. No one gives a shit about hope or despair or whatever--seriously, you’ve said despair sooooooo many times in the past thirty minutes that it doesn’t even feel like a word anymore? I don’t--don't know what you were expecting with this one, honestly. If you want us to bend down to your freakish level, then…try harder? I guess? But you already tried, y’know, a murder game, and how’d that one work out for you?”

He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders.

“Anyway, I’d like to go home now. I have better things to do than listen to a megalomaniacal Barbie prattle on.”

It’s like a scene right before the credits of a movie that you still have to sit through in case there’s something important at the end of it but is likely just fan service for the loyal viewers…only the loyal viewers are cultists, and Loic doesn’t really care about their fandom’s emotional needs.

[ike-bana]

When their toddlers ask them where babies come from f.t Yuji,Megumi,Gojou,Geto,Nanami and Toge

cw: mild suggestiveness and nothing else. This is mostly just humorous and wholesome

summary : Your little curious toddler decides to ask their dad where babies come from, how do they respond?

A/N : All characters are aged up and your kids are 4-5 years old. Contrary to popular belief ,it is important to give your children sex education. But you can only talk to them about some certain concepts when they get to a certain age. This is just some random nonsense I thought of when I was doing the dishes on a random day. I may have used mommy and mummy interchangeably cause I'm used to the latter

Also thank you @trashbunnywrites and @sodium-noodlez for helping me out with this,love you guys!

YUJI ITADORI:

-He's watching a movie when his little toddler comes running up to him with a question in their mind

- "Daddy, where do babies come from" The little one asks with a glint of curiosity in their eyes

-He scratches his head nervously and thinks about what to tell the child

-He decides to tell them that crack story that some of our parents have probably told us. That one about storks

-He can see his kid's face glowing with fasciation as they listen to their father's farfetched story

-"wow, really daddy?, so can I ask Mr. storkey to give me a widdle baby brother/sister" They ask in their adorable baby voice

-"Ah sorry kiddo, gonna have to talk to your mom about that first" He pats their head and sighs in relief

MEGUMI FUSHIGIRO :

-He's just about to take a quick nap on the couch when he sees his little troublemaker come up to him. gets it from his mommy

.- " Daddy, daddy, daddy!" They practically scream

- ''Yes (child's name)" his face automatically morphing from a look of tiredness to one of fondness on hearing his child's voice

-"Daddy where do you get a baby?"

-Unlike Yuji, Megumi is a pretty straightforward person when it comes to this, he sees no reason to make up a story but he doesn't think they're ready to learn about this yet.

-" Don't worry (child's name),you'll understand this when you're older" He gives them a knowing look

- " But daddy, I'm a big boy/girl" They pout

-You hear their little convo from the kitchen and you decide to back your husband up.

-"Sweetie, your daddy is right, we'll tell you when you're just a little older, ok?'' you tell them

-"ok mommy'' they look down in defeat

-You lighten up the mood by bringing up something they can't resist

-"Why don't we go play with your barbies and dinosaurs while we let daddy sleep" toys have no gender, fight me on this

-"yaay" They scream in excitement looks like they need to be taught about decibel levels

GOJO SATORU :

-He's watching some random videos on his phone when his kid comes bursting in the room

- "Daddy, where do babies come from?"

-As we all know, this man has no filter so he doesn't hesitate to attempt to explain in lay man terms

-"You see honey, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they go into a room and fu-'' He get's cut off when a size 15 shoe comes flying across the room with a speed of 10m/s, knocking the white haired sorcerer unconscious

-"Not in my house you don't" You mutter

-seeing what happened caused your toddler to burst out in fits of laughter

-"ha ha, daddy got hit with a shoe"

-You turned to your little one with a smile and asked them if the want to get some ice cream, of course they joyously agreed thank goodness for the short attention span of toddlers

-You left the house with your child while your husband still lay dazed on the floor .poor Gojo

GETO SUGURU :

- I actually think Geto would handle this perfectly. Don't get me wrong, I haven't read the manga but he's clearly the bad guy. I just think he's an overall soft and gentle person when it comes to his wife and kid

- so when his little toddler comes running to him with their tiny feet asking him a question most parents are reluctant to answer ,he answers appropriately

-Unlike Yuji, he doesn't make up stories but tells them instead : "You see little one, when two people love each so much, they pray to God and he gives them a beautiful baby" still not the whole truth but whatever

-The child's eyes are filled with wonder and glee at what their father told them.

-"Really, papa?''

-He pats their head affectionately and nods to affirm his statement

-''woww, so you and mama got me like that?" They asked in their little baby voice

-"yes,my little prince/princess"

-You catch this spectacle when you descend from the stairs of your home

-Your heart instantly melts when you see Geto bonding with your child

-It's certainly heart-warming

Nanami Kento

- Just like our guy Megumi, he would see no point in lying to his child but he wouldn't tell them something like "You were made from love", like how Geto would

-He'd look directly into his child's bright big eyes and tells them firmly but gently

-''You see child's name ,there's this whole complicated process that adults do when they want a baby but unfortunately I cannot tell you about it till you're older"

-His child is a little disappointed and asks why he can't.

-"But daddy why?"

-''Because (child's name),it's grown up stuff, okay?" he says with a soft smile on his face while patting their back . Ugh, daddy material much

-am I gonna be a grown up one day?"

-Of course, little one, one day ,you will" He chuckles and continues rubbing their little back affectionately, trying not to think about how his little angel wouldn't be so little anymore

-"Yaaaaaaaayy, can't wait!"

Toge Inumaki

- This might be a bit tasking seeing as he has to restrict his speech but then again, I have a feeling that if he works on his technique he may find a way communicate without causing damage

-Nevertheless, assuming he could speak, I think he'd be the type to just say : " Go ask your mummy"

-Yeah, he's pushing it to you cause he doesn't want to say something he shouldn't least you kill him for corrupting your toddler

-And at the same time, I don't think he'd want to outright lie to his child about the origin of babies. He seems like a very honest and logical person so I don't see him doing that

- So when he tells his kid to ask their mum, the child comes running straight to you.

-"Mummy, where do babies come from?, daddy said I should ask mummy"

- Of course, you take it upon yourself to attend to your child's question (You can choose how you'll handle this 😉 )

- you glance at him but he just shrugs his shoulders, earning him a playful eyeroll from you