#if you are trans but not transfem then like

[paper-mario-wiki]

How do you have such pertinent and personal advice to give to transmascs too? I thought you were transfem?

i am transfem! though people have been confusing me for a transmasc for years, even before i came out.

the "reason", if there indeed must be one, is probably just cuz ive grown up around a lot of transmascs since middle school, and have heard many of their woes. heck, my longest romantic relationship was 5 years with a trans guy who's still one of my best friends. i used to BE the cis guy dating a trans guy. so i leverage that info and experience, just like any other knowledge i have, to help!

[fleshengine]

k I've seen a couple posts about it today but it is so funny to me how the "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying" so perfectly map onto my own recent experiences. My friend (transfem enby) broke up with their boyfriend (transmasc) and he immediately turned our entire friendgroup against them. The three other people immediately, and I mean immediately, like within a day, put them on their shitlist. He convinced them to hate them so fucking easily. He said he feared for his safety and that they'd almost hit him, and that they were a sociopath and all this shit. I learned about this late (because no one talks to me) and my first thought was "has anyone talked to them about this?" Because it didn't seem like them, the friend I knew was extraordinarily kind and understanding and loving and quiet. They'd never do that shit. Guess what?!?! None of my friends had talked to them and it had been two days of icing them out and telling them to leave. So I talked to them, got their side of the story, and spent days convincing the rest of my friendgroup to talk to them. Well, after talking to them literally everyone came around and now we're back to normal, minus the asshole who tried to get us to hate them. During all this, while he was going around spreading rumors about my friend, I texted him and asked him to stop. I tried to be understanding and meet him where he was at while holding fast to the "please stop telling random people my friend is a sociopath." I knew he was doing it too, because he apparently randomly started talking to MY ROOMMATES about my friend. Well lo and behold literally the next day my roommates were chilling in my living room and told me "Oh yeah ____ is going around calling you a gaslighter btw." Which was hilarious to me?!?! I guess he thought they wouldn't tell me? Like he was unironically trying to turn the people I live with against me. If I hadn't done anything, my friend would have been completely ditched by my friendgroup. They would have no one at their back going into their senior year.

Anyway moral of the story is love every transfem before it's too late and maybe check with people who are having rumors spread about them? Maybe that "violent sociopath" is stressed out from classes and made some bad decisions. Maybe that "manipulative gaslighter" is genuinely just trying to look out for her friend.

[for-those-who-wait]

Transfem or transmasc Hunter mayhaps? Only if you want to of course if you dont wanna that's good too ^^

I don't personally hc Hunter as trans but I will absolutely consume (and make) trans Hunter content because I think it's wholesome and adorable and full of potential. I think it really fits with his hating what he was raised to become, his attempts at forging his own path, and learning that he doesn't need to be "useful" for his friends to want what's best for him

In case you couldn't tell I really like this kid oops

Also the last couple panels were inspired by a real conversation I had with a friend haha (please be safe with your binder use please)

[the-rat-1]

i need a someone to hug me and cuddle me and pet me and call me a good girl and

[gr3yearl]

absolutely adore that (from what i’ve seen) even with a transfem stevie, stobin is still 100000% platonic

like imagine the party being aware robin’s a lesbian and stevie’s a trans woman, and dustin going “!!!! now you CAN date it’s perfect!!! i always knew you two were made for each other!!”

and stevie and robin immediately give their standard, joint response of “ew no wtf that’s literally my sister i think i’d rather die”

[maowives]

[INTRACOMMUNITY DISCOURSE! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED]

white people online will describe "trans girl culture" and the list will be like

thing that only white people care about

thing that only white people care about

thing about playing video games

this isn't a trait this is just "hating yourself" repackaged

white people thing again

having an eating disorder (pointedly a thing many cisgender women also have and can relate to)

expression of the horrifying dehumanization of transfems broadly

thing you can only do or care about if you're incredibly wealthy

hating yourself but in a way that requires being incredibly wealthy

this is blanchardism

blanchardism again

appeals to the sensibility that trans sexuality is morally repugnant

blahaj

[velvetvexations]

I'm politer than I should be sometimes when I think there's a chance someone might listen, but it was so fucking irritating.

That post literally called them "extremely correct and based" - THAT'S the root of the of the problem and why you get called that, because you think they - a group that used a trans-adapted version of radical feminism to sexually abuse trans women - were "extremely correct and based." That you've been putting it on t-shirts is just taking the mask off.

That's a good pet. <3

It matters the most to kids.

I desperately wish I lived in a queer enough place for people to ever get anything close to the impression transmascs have privilege over transfems.

Like idk it seems super weird to assume an entire group of people who have expirience being seen and treated as women and statistically have spent significant time in queer and feminist spaces would delight in being granted their deserved(??) place at the top of the pile. The most common reaction I see from trans men who do get handed some male privilege is anger and disgust. I just...I feel like the people insisting all trans men feel validated by being placed above women and need to be reminded that it's not good actually, like all "don't get caught up in it even though I know it's so easy and validating and feels so so so good" are telling on themselves. That is clearly not a universal expirience. And yeah thoughts aren't actions, you're not evil for having internalized issues you gotta work on...but maybe check to make sure you're not an outlier before you turn those thoughts into actions by making patronizing friendly reminders aimed at people who weren't doing that shit in the first place.

It's so fucking wild. "I understand taking delight in having privilege over women" DO YOU????? OKAY UH GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FOREVER PLEASE.

[euniexenoblade]

https://www.tumblr.com/spacelazarwolf/762656296882372608/httpswwwtumblrcomeuniexenoblade7625264206794

"B-But transfemmes are the ones who made the film into a cult classic! If you don’t like it, don’t watch it!! It’s literally that simple!!!"

First off, space laze deciding a long post I wrote about trauma is an "argument" is very telling, it's not an argument, the post in question even says that it's just thoughts. Hold on. Why am I saying this, I'll just screenshot it.

This is not an argument. This was never an argument. This is just digesting thoughts about how so many of us have trauma with a specific piece of media. The "transfemmes made it popular" thing, though silly and untrue, isn't actually addressing anything I said. My post can *still* be true while that'd be true too, the two don't contradict each other.

That said it's untrue. Transfems do not hold that level of social capital. The movie isn't a niche hit with trans specific crowds, it's a literal cult classic. The love for it is so much bigger than that. It's a bigger movie than that now. Are there transfems that love it? Yeah. Are there transfems that were involved in its uprising as "queer cinema?" Yeah. But to say it was only transfems is ahistorical and silly.

At the end of the day, it's once again just a guy mocking a woman for a something they didnt even bother to read. It's typical anti-feminist methodology. The entire book about problematic media goes out the window. "Uh uh uh people can't be traumatized with the movie cuz ummm transfems like it!" That's not how things work and never has been. Liking a movie that is problematic isn't a bad thing, but if you're literally so resistant to any critical reading of a movie, you're just anti-intellectual.

"if you don't like it, don't watch it." Ok, but the thing is *I don't watch it* and I'm discussing why. Like, it's just misogynistic and dismissive. But also - just because a woman criticizes a movie doesn't mean you're not allowed to like it, spacey. This is the same response that my Barbie movie review garnered "UHHH why are you writing 8999 paragraphs just don't watch it" it's anti-feminism and anti-intellectualism. The dude did not need to be a douche about what is a personal post.

Speaking about *that*

The second part of this:

Anon, why are you sending my personal posts to a known anti-feminist/transmisogynist? Did you not think I wouldn't notice the ask that they received looks awfully similar to this one I got? Or did you think I'd be blinded by the specter of drama that I'd not notice? Why are you stirring the pot? Scroll through my blog, you'll just find me writing smut and reblogging art. Did that bother you? Did you *crave* me being in arguments? Why? Why are you sending douchebag MRAs I have blocked my posts?

I will not answer asks like this ever again. Stop being a coward and do it off anon you creep.

[7clubs]

I may be more in the transmasc non binary stacy/sebby camp but wow your transfem interpretation of them is so cool and contextualizes it differently than when you read em as trans man or generally transmasc

They're both good!!! seb can be trans any way tbh.

With the transmasc reading, for me the story/narrative (and some of the quotes I highlighted) kind of changes to one where it feels like Blaise/Excelsius is only like, conditionally accepting of them as long as they follow his wishes, or calls them a boy in a mocking/sarcastic kind of way. Not seeing seb/eustace as someone who can seriously match whatever toxic ideal of masculinity he has.

(this is of course assuming you go with a headcanon that blaise/excelsius himself isn't fully accepting. again, i see him as a very patriarchal old guy figure, so for me, that's what made sense. i understand the appeal of fully-accepting and frictionless universes for some people gender/sexuality wise, but i like having a struggle to conquer that's more true to real life usually!!!!)

I think the fan translation played a part in me preferring a transfem reading though, "you should've stayed an idiot son" as blaise's furious farewell as they both basically disown each other works better in that context in my opinion. (+ i just like and relate to women more LOL)

[florsial]

saw your post abt trans fem remus...

i need more

she's giving frazzled english woman aesthetic

and ofc sirius is just obsessed with her

Transfem Remus Lupin you will live forever in my soul.

But yes! She is a mess, a frazzled woman with her braids coming undone in puffs of frizz and her eyes sunken in. Her face is littered with scars with bits of her body and face missing from scars. There is dirt under her nails and her teeth are sharpened. She has the worst diet ever of the most unhealthiest things but can’t hold onto the weight, if anything Remus is the most sickly Marauder. She spends her summers hidden in her room and giggling over Sirius's romantic letters (though some are a bit questionable) because she can’t last a minute outside without getting dizzy.

I’m sorry but I just can’t see Remus’ health not being affected by full moons every month. At best, there is a like a middle period where’s she’s pretty good but otherwise she is occupied in looking like death.

She’s her parent’s joy and any newbie can catch Lyall bragging about his daughter’s high score while Barty Crouch Jr looks hopefully at his father. She helped her mother plant flowers as a kid now makes flower crowns for Sirius.

She looks so out of it half the time, like at any point in time she’ll just drop. She leans on her cane and gazes like a main character out the window. There is a pocket full of random knowledge in her wool skirt and it doesn't help her academically but they are neat topics for when anyone needs a change of topic. She is the main character actually, she just doesn't realize it.

I love the image of her eating insects.

sigh her messy braids and tired eyes and ughhhhhh I want her actually so baddddddddd

[paper-mario-wiki]

thank you for posting about trans men i know i'm the billionth to say it. but it really is necessary. once i got called transmisogynistic for saying that people care more (in both good and bad ways) about trans women than trans men (and that in itself is a result of misogyny). that's not at all to say that trans women have it "better" in any way, there's just a massive gap in visibility and awareness and it's nice to see any kind of acknowledgement <3 hope i explained that well enough to not look like an asshole

my thoughts on that are thusly:

transfems DO receive more vocal support from the majority of allies, point-blank. that is a measurable truth. this is something i think happens because of the "people see trans men as defanged women" thing i was talking about in my last post.

i think that trans men are ignored because 1) people like shitting on trans women more, and 2) people have an unconscious idea in their mind that masculinity means self-sufficiency, therefore trans men aren't seen as being as "vulnerable".

personally, i feel as though femininity as a concept is something that is seen as too inherently virtuous by allies on the left. i dont mean to say "people shouldn't be celebrating femininity!", but i DO mean to say "people shouldn't be associating femininity with moral goodness".

when people think like that and they see trans men "put down" their femininity, they see them as no longer worth celebrating-- or worse, they see them as having chosen to be "the bad gender".

additionally, because bigots don't really see trans men as a "threat" (again, "defanged women"), there is less violence towards them reported in media outlets trying to spin a story, and thus less perceived need for support towards them in the minds of anyone who doesn't, like, talk to them daily.

these are my thoughts. anyone is free to leave me a message if you think im wrong.

[fleshengine]

What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.

Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?

Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.

That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?

Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.

"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.

"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.

"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.

Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.

I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.

[transexualpirate]

you see the thing is. the thing is. people love to oversimplify social issues by picking one demographic at random to blame for it. and right now a lot of people have picked transfems and trans women to blame for transandrophobia which actually makes it near IMPOSSIBLE to fucking talk about it without attracting transmisogynists. like moths to light. like. what are we doing here. can we leave the transphobia to cis people please

[aretheyqueer]

Are they a trans lesbian?

disclaimer: this is a hc, not speculating on what the writers intentions were.

reason: All shounens are improved if you pretend the main character is a he/him lesbian

[txttletale]

ive been awake for like two hours today and if i took a shot for every time a he/they told me or my mutuals to shut up about transmisogyny in my notes today i would be seeing double right now

[castielfucks]

theres actually no rules to transitioning and youre allowed to want contradictory things for your transition. it's fine if you only want some of the changes that come with hrt and take preventative measures for the rest (like wanting bottom growth but not body hair or vice versa). you can want to have vagina AND a dick. you can be a woman and want top surgery, or wear a packer. you can be a man and want to have a pussy. you can change your transition goals one or a million times or not have any goals at all and just take things as they come or as they feel right.

there are no rules.