#if you aren’t playing the sport with your genitals then who cares?

[flyin-shark]

[itgetsbetterproject]

New on the blog: Youth Voices react to latest anti-trans bill from Texas

On Monday, October 25, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott quietly signed a bill banning transgender students from participating in school sports teams that align with their gender identity. But the response from some of the members of our Youth Voices was loud and clear — leave trans kids alone.

Attacks are being made against transgender youth across the country, often by lawmakers who have had little to no direct interaction with transgender people at all. Our Youth Voices (including one based in Austin, TX) spoke passionately about the message anti-trans legislation sends to kids, what they want trans youth who might be feeling scared and angry to know, and what they want to say to the politicians backing anti-trans bills.

What sort of message does legislation like this send to trans youth?

"This shows us that we aren’t really cared about. At all. Which we already presumed, but no one can claim they care for trans youth and then push legislation that marginalizes us. It lets trans kids know that the government, those who are supposed to be “protecting” us, that we aren’t protected. That we aren’t equal. Or wanted. And that we shouldn’t be able to pursue our passions. And unfortunately, there’s almost nothing we can do about it." – Cal (they/them)

"This transphobic legislation sends the message that the government does not support trans youth. It shows that they do not believe that you can have a gender identity that doesn’t align with your assigned sex at birth. Governor Abbott saying that the reasoning behind the laws was protecting girls proves he doesn’t think that transgender girls are “real girls” and that the Texas government values cisgender youth more than transgender youth. It also proves how uninformed the government is about being transgender." – Elliot (they/them)

What do you want to say to lawmakers who support discriminatory legislation like this latest ban?

"To the lawmakers who support this legislation, leave us alone. Transgender youth are just normal teenagers who just want to play sports on the team that matches who we really are. These laws are ridiculous and there are much bigger issues that you should be concerned with instead of attacking the human rights of transgender youth. These laws are not “protecting girls” they are hurting girls because transgender girls are girls. Science supports that transgender people are valid and you should to. Let us play sports." – Elliot (they/them)

"Do my genitals concern you? According to Texas, they do. How is it that the genitals of a minor are your business? How is it that the genitals of a minor define them more than the rest of their body? How is this issue paramount to your lapses in education? Poverty crisis? Health crises? Your legislation disgusts me. Do better. Be better. I hope that there WILL be a next generation." – Hailey (she/her)

"I am wondering how legislators could possibly do this. As a legislator, you’re supposed to protect your constituents. This is literal discrimination, by definition. Any arguments you might be able to conjure up about trans kids and sports are invalid because those aren’t the real reasons you don’t want us playing sports. It’s because you don’t want us in society. People who truly cared about trans kid wouldn’t BAN us from anything. I’m disappointed, sad, and confused. Do better." – Cal (they/them)

What message do you want to send to trans youth out there who are reading this news?

"These new laws are a step in the wrong direction for the transgender population in Texas. To all the trans youth who are reading this news know that you are not alone in this battle. You have the whole community behind you and we will never stop fighting outrageous legislation like this. We will not be silenced until we have these laws change, but in the meantime, please know that you are valid and you should have the right to play sports." – Elliot (they/them)

"I want to say that you are loved and wanted and valid and real. I love you. We love you. The people that are pushing discriminatory legislation like this are just that — discriminatory. We should be protected, and hopefully soon we will be, but for now, I just want you to know I love you." – Cal (they/them)

"To the trans youth who are reading this, just know this is not the end. I will not stop fighting for you, our community will not stop fighting for you, and you are not any less loved, celebrated, or cared for. This law does not define your value. You do." – Hailey (she/her)

Read and share from our blog at https://itgetsbetter.org/blog/initiatives/texas-anti-trans-bill-youth-voices/

[lilmajorshawty]

I hope this isn’t to vulgar to ask but have you experienced men of every rising sign? More so would you be able to speak on the genitalia of all the eighth house signs in men you’ve encountered? I would like to see if there is any merit in the general depictions of the eighth house when it comes to sex organs

Haha you’re fine my love! I don’t mind being of help!

I personally attract virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Scorpio rising men the most. I have had sexual encounters with men of all 12 zodiac signs and I’ve managed to get rising signs for a great deal of them! Sadly I can’t speak broadly on many of the rising signs considering the higher volume of the four I just mentioned being the majority of the ones that come my way.

Aries rising men: in my experience? Sweet, they are very much what you see is what you get types considering their entire chart is a reflection of the natural traits of all 12 zodiac signs in their comfortable houses. Sexually I would say their sexual organs look dark, like literally they have a darker tone then the rest of their body. They aren’t rough sexually but they can be very intense, if I could describe them? I’d say it felt like I was swimming in a pool at night with strobe lights at the bottom. They know how to have sex and it feels good, they are very much so emotionally available during and after. Very violent orgasams and can seem very spiritual during.

Taurus rising men: in my experience? Babies. They can be needy and distant at the same time, very weird mix. They want things at a very specific time and can be hard to compromise with especially sexually. the thing that stood out to me is how fast they ejaculate, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, they are just very easily aroused much like a literal bull. They tend to love foreplay but if you’re too good at it they’ll cum fast. They can be very vibrant and bubbly during sex lots of laughter, but if they’re not laughing they’re usually just super into it lmao. They have very big and long sexual organs. I wouldn’t say thick, I would say more like a long sword in typical sag style. They are very out of tune emotionally during sex so that’s the only downside.

Gemini rising men: in my experience? Sad boys. They got issues and they’re not good at hiding them. They can seem moody, aloof and slightly misunderstood. I can’t peg them sometimes, they seem like they have a mixture of mommy and daddy issues but then they can seem arrogant and self assured at a moments notice. Domination kinks and restriction plague them. I would say the sex is often sensual and deeply attentive in its nature. They want to feel all of it and none of it at the same time. Touch and physical intimacy is the thing they adore the most in sex and I think that’s what makes them so special. They’re really sweet and good natured and you get to see that part of them more freely during sex as contrary to the belief of Capricorn in the 8th these natives are tremendously affectionate and loving during sex. I will say that they get sad or more serious after climax and I have no idea wether Saturn does that or if it’s something deeper. They may be a bit on the smaller side when it comes to sexual organs in most cases but they know how to use it for sure. They are very horny like the goat

Cancer rising men: in my experience? I’ve dealt with some who have cap and others who have aqua in the 8th, for some reason the result is still similar in a way. They can be soooo receptive, they know what you need better than you do. They are present but not overbearing. They feel parental but in a way that feeds the parts of you that felt like they were missing something. I’d say sex always comes with a lesson with them. It’s never just casual sex. They tend to nurture during sex and can be very emotionally deep and connective during. They are definitely the type you spend the night with naturally or hang out with the next few days or unexpectedly end up dating. The sexual organs are usually pretty unique! Some curve, some have like those cute beauty marks on em. They also tend to be well hung.

Leo rising men: in my experience? I found them to be distant, perplexing and heavy. They seem a bit disengaged but can have moments of affectionate behavior and romantic burst that come from nowhere. Sexually though they can be passive, they feel real wet and liquidy I dunno how to describe it. Sex with them just feels very moist and like there’s a lot of fluids everywhere but idk it doesn’t feel like a bad thing. They precum a lot and can be very submissive. They are not horny per say? They are more on the “if you wanna” side of things. So Neptune and Jupiter rule Pisces so as you can already imagine these men tend to be packing some heat. They sorta dunno how to use it though? For some reason they have a very clumsy way of having sex as if they’ve never done it before? They don’t really have boundaries either so you’ll need to make sure to ask them if they’re okay cause a lot of the time they might not be.

Virgo rising men: in my experience? I’m gonna try and not be biased. These men are very ethereal. They are very quiet and genuine. They have this very honest and blunt way about doing and saying things. They carry a lot of pain though and you can see it in their eyes which I will say they have very intense eyes. Sexually? They are VERY passionate. They treat sex like a sport but not a fun sport, rather they treat it like a life or death ring match. They definitely pack a punch and will rock your shit. They can be deeply sensitive and intimate all the while being completely in tune with every part of you during sex in such a way that’ll make you feel like you’re freefalling. The genitals in my experience are veiny, very masculine in the way they look. Every time I see a guy with a Virgo rising it never ceases to amaze me how rough and aggressive their penis are. They are also very intense ejaculators and can be very big on equal ejaculation(my pleasure is your pleasure theme) contrary to the Aries myth, they can go and go and go for hours without cumming so as a warning please try and build your stamina

Libra rising men: in my experience? Confused? They can seem like they’re waiting for something to start but also won’t do anything to make something start. They can seem aggressive but are secretly hoping you make the first move. They are very touchy and very adorable in their being but they definitely can be the types to let the other person take the lead. One thing I’ve always liked about libra rising men is their cute butts and their charming way of seducing you without oversexualizing the situation. Sexually they are AMAZING Jesus. Once you get them going they will really run rampant. They are very sensual and they love slow touching and intimacy. They are emotionally present and can have a personality change during sex, they turn into a whole other Individual. A warning I will say is that they get very caught up in the moment and you’ll have to snap them out of it from time to time if they’re to caught up in the pleasure. They’re sexual organs like most fixed signs is pretty thick and heavy. In my experience the length is normal but the girth is what will really kill yah.

Scorpio rising men: in my experience? Fuck these guys are HOT. They don’t have to try very hard either which is annoying, they literally just exude this strong, mysterious and emotionally unavailable energy that makes you want to strip right in front of them. Are they into you? Do they care? Are you more into it then them? Who knows and they probably won’t tell you. They can be very manipulative and tend to gaslight(and I’m not joking about this nor am I jokingly using the term) they tend to have mental detachments from their emotions which can give them sociopath like tendecies. Sexually they are curious, very control oriented. They want to watch you go crazy so most times they leave you in charge. Riding is one of their favorite positions because they get to see you fein for them. They are senstive to your feelings during sex but don’t mistake this for them being emotionally invested in you, the Gemini in their 8th house is playing whatever role gets you to respond in the way they desire. They are very loving nonetheless when they do truly care for you. The sexual organs are usually very thick. I think they’re the ones who invented the word chode. The penis tends to be girthy and also has a pretty good length to it, and they definitely know how to work it.

Sagittarius rising men: in my experience? These guys are some fucking heartthrobs! I hate to say it but man they are so rugged and masculine you can’t help but love their boyish nature. They are definitely obnoxious, loud and ridiculously dense when it comes to reading the room. What makes them so hot though is how reckless they are with all things. They don’t give a shit. Sexually though? Emotions run HIGH they tend to be very drawn to feminine energy. A lot of guys like this adore feminity in all forms be it in men or women. If you have that feminine glow to you, they’ll eat you up. They tend to have a strong desire to impregnate and the idea of being connected and having that sort of emotional receptivity with the person their fucking drives them wild. They are very intense sexually and can be very overwhelming the first few times mainly because adjusting to them is impossible, you never know what emotional spectrum you’ll get. Their sexual organs aren’t that big, sometimes they can be girthy but most times long and or average size tends to be what I see more. Are they good at using it? Yeah, you’ll fall asleep right after trust me.

Capricorn rising men: in my experience? They are very unassuming. They are so fucking calm, so fucking unmoved and so fucking ahead of you every time. They don’t rush things and can really make you feel so comfortable with how respectful and real they are. They have a very boy next door or upstairs neighbor vibe to them. Sleeping with them feels naughty sometimes other times it feels like it was a long build up. Sexually they are exhibitionist. They definitely will fill the hell out of you with their more modest persona at first. They want to enjoy all parts of your body but they also want the show to be about them. They want to hear you want them, how good they make you feel, they want it to feel like a performance where the crowd is watching. And dare I say they are constantly mastering their art, sex gets better and better and better with them. There’s never a dull moment and every time they have sex with you it gets more personal, more intense, more all consuming. They have a high libido and they are practically insatiable. They are selfish but I will say this, if you can’t get them off they definitely will do it themselves. Their sexual organs are often brighter than the other parts of their body. Very pretty too look at and also a bit on the hairy side.

Aquarius rising men: In my experience? They can seem really standoffish and for a good reason. They tend not to like ignorance and the more they see you trying hard to relate to them the less they’ll acknowledge you. They like the idea of someone who is down for them but not the idea of someone who is groveling, don’t and I mean don’t by any means act like a fan. They tend to run hot and cold for ever even if they like you. Sexually they can be meticulously planning the whole thing. The meet up, the positions, the foreplay all of it. They tend to need warnining or to know both parties had time to clean up. They’re not ones for sex on the fly or random sex as it can lead to a lot of unnecessary accidents. They’re attentive and very much the types to make you feel like you’re clay and you’re being sculpted into something magnificent. Their amazing at sex, they are like gallileo, or Mozart when it comes to the act. They move around your body like a serpent, then a leaf in the wind, than rain touching your skin. They are more focused on your pleasure than theirs so orgasms/reaching climax can be tough for them. The sexual organs are pretty small or average in most cases. If mars/Jupiter or Neptune/Uranus is there that augments things.

Pisces rising men: In my experience? They are definitely ass men. Everything revolves around booty. They are definitely soft and very sweet, but they have a sweetness to them that is fake. The real them is far more serious and self aware then they give off. They know what they’re doing and they know what you’re doing, so don’t ever be fooled by the veil they put up. They’re incredible receptive and sensitive and a lot of their internal feelings come out at some point just not at the moment it needs to. Sexually they can very hotel sex types. Like I don’t know how to really explain it and it’s so opposite of what you would expect of libra but they are very impersonal people. Like sex can feel very romantic and as if they are treating you like a significant other but something about it is detached, far away and unavailable. They are good at creating the engagement aspect of sex but can fall short at the emotional part which is semi-strange considering what you’ll get up to that point. They are very experienced but at the same time they may need to be taught to connect a little deeper or to open up more. They have very soft and gentle sexual styles that will still make you feel cared for but sometimes in the back of it all you’ll still feel that “I’m fucking a stranger” vibe. Their sexual organs tend to be very beautiful, nice length and nice width. They’ll definitely be a lot better at the sex part once you guys are committed though.

So obviously this is a general word of mouth and does not take into account planets being in the 8th house nor does it mention decans which can greatly alter much of what I’ve said. And honestly you can apply the decan rule here if you’d like! Simply use the decan lord so if they’re a third decan Virgo rising and have Aries in the third decan in their 8th house which is Aries/Sagittarius: you would mix those interpretations. Anyways hope this helps love.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Gender

Lower engagement, but higher personal satisfaction... let’s go for that.

How I define my gender.

I’ve never really been 100% committed to being a woman.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-know-I-am-cisgender-Ive-heard-some-cis-people-do-question-their-gender-and-Im-trying-to-tell-whether-Im-trans-or-one-of-these-cases Taking the questions from here... it would split this way: Gender dysphoria- when I was younger, a little. Gender Euphoria- never. Gender Politics (beyond basic empathy for others)- Oh fuck no. I don’t get why so many, particularly cis men are hung up on men must wear pants and not pink. I *do* look for women in history, but it’s more like a solidarity and hating erasure of marginalized groups and celebrating those marginalized groups. So political one way, but not particularly on the philosophical performance part. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things I don’t understand.

“Do you feel equally comfortable in men and women’s fashion, only noticing the practical differences?” Pretty much. If you give me a man’s suit I’d wear it. I had no issues with playing as a man for a skit.

 Are you basically ambivalent about makeup? 50/50. Sometimes I do care and do it for “funsies” but most of the time I don’t care because I don’t like “woman as object and consumerism.”

“Do you ‘play along’ when someone tells you what your assignment should be doing, but also don’t really care?”

Pretty much true. Like I was told girls aren’t supposed to like dirt. Screw that. girls aren’t supposed to like sports. I was like screw that. Girls aren’t supposed to like bugs. So what?

I did tend to read more women-led fiction over men’s fiction, but that’s mostly because men’s fiction has “gems” that sexualize women in ways that made me squirm. Cis het men’s writing about women usually piss me off, so I usually don’t try. And I’m all about the fairness. (But also note I’m gray-aro and read a crapton of romance, so who knows how that all works. I’m also gray-a and read a crapton of romance, though not sex repulsed (more like somewhere between sex neutral and receptive? I rated myself a 6-7... on a 0-9 scale.)) Gender tests I’ve taken: 50/50. Usually get something like demi-boy or demi girl. Though I don’t really have that much dysphoria. I do occasionally feel pissed off about my sex presentation, but that’s not really dysphoria as in I hate my body parts actively. It’s more like, why do I have to bother with it? It’s so much work to have to worry in the first place.

When you look in the mirror, do you feel like there’s nothing that really needs to be changed?

This one is more like why do I have to care so much? I feel gender fucked. Like why do I have to go through the steps?

Are you happy with your hair, your chest, the shape of your face?

50/50 on this one.

Aside from maybe wanting to bulk up, wash your hair, or lose a few pounds, are you generally pleased with your appearance?

I give no shits?

Do you appreciate your genitals?

75%/25% appreciation/hate. Sometimes I hate they exist.

Do you like the idea of using them in sex or to make a baby?

This is more like my ace side, I think, but meh? Take it or leave it.

Do they make you feel connected to other people with the same genitals socially, such as complaining about periods, or talking about dick length?

Not really. I’m more like why do you care so fucking much? But I’m not sure how much this is an ace thing.

Do you feel like even if you don’t use them, it’s comfortable just having them around?

Sometimes, not always. Might also be an ace thing.

If you were in a social group of only your assigned gender, would you be happy with it?

Not always. I don’t evaluate that way. Trans people are cool. I pick usually by belief systems and who the person is, morally.

Would it be fairly easy to communicate and find things in common?

I feel ambivalent sometimes towards other women, especially when they go off on tangents about mall shopping, clothes, etc. I feel the same about men talking about watching sports and warfare.

Would you feel harmonious and homogeneous with the group, if the individuals had personalities you liked?

Meh? I also listen to people I don’t like.

If you took away all the physical features that made up your assignment, what gender are you now? Where does that feeling come from?

I’m still me. I don’t care.

If you got to choose your gender upon reincarnation, what would you pick?

Flip a coin. Roll a dice. I don’t give a fuck.

If a wizard changed your sex permanently, would you be pissed or excited?

Meh. Don’t care.

What gender characters do you generally play in RPGs, and what options do you wish were more frequently available?

I’ve generally played women, given no other options besides binary, but also moonlighted as men, but then felt sick because male privilege.

“Do I FEEL like my assigned gender?”*

Shrugs. Not that committed. If you got an all-expenses paid trip to womanhood spa central, and became a socially idealized version of yourself, THEN would you feel like a woman? 

No. I oscillate between liking make up for the pure knowledge of it, and not giving a fuck. I’ve never understood the hours of make up, hair performance, etc.

As a child, I was the type that wanted to be good at *everything* and was upset that my Dad wouldn’t give me the time of day for “masculine” things. I was *also* good at figuring things out. I *also* wanted to be good at sports. I *also* like girly things occasionally. I wanted it all and didn’t see why my brother or me got compliments for different things and felt deep insult when I couldn’t do that too and also get compliments for it. (If you’re imagining an annoying precocious child--that’s about right) I don’t see the point of the gender construct when it re-enforces ideas of genders can do only certain things, when it’s never been proven true. So why are people so effing committed to performing it? I wear hanbok. I’ll wear a male one. I’ll make an androgynous one. I wear those without issue. I’ll cross dress if I like, because I don’t really see the point and European and European-derived defined genders as fucked in the first place. What is this men==violence and horses thing? What is this women==weakness and capitalism thing? I don’t get it. And why do I have to wear European-derived clothes in the first place? Plus from my academic study of gender and gender history, that just cemented for me how fucked up the White European and White European diaspora is about gender in the first place and I feel even less committed to it. I do perform usually more like a woman than a man, but it’s more like whatever is convenient, rather than an absolute commitment to the role. ‘cause you know, my gender is my least concern here, (probably along with ace aro) while not quite hating on it. I wear my hair long, because money and I don’t feel like cutting it very often and I like to be able to keep it out of my food, as well.

I don’t mind masculine pronouns in theory, because whatever floats your boat. But I do care if you think foreign name==men, because that’s giving into masculine hegemony and that is rude to other people unlike me who might be more committed to their genders, and that I definitely care about.

[pinelife3]

What Women Think Men Think

In the 2000 film What Women Want, Mel Gibson accidentally electrocutes himself with a hairdryer in the bathtub which for some reason gives him the ability to hear women’s thoughts. This comes at a great time for him personally and professionally as it allows him to perform well in his job as an advertising exec, woo the lovely Helen Hunt, and bond with his estranged daughter.

Sadly, the genius of What Women Want was not recognised by critics in its time and the film received poor reviews - however, it did perform well commercially, making it a great candidate for a gender-flip remake. Our prayers were answered earlier this year with What Men Want, in which Taraji P. Henson plays a sports agent who misses out on a promotion because she doesn’t get men. Surprising no one, What Men Want received worse reviews than the original, but managed to one-up it by also being a commercial disappointment.  I haven’t seen it (I hear it is genuinely unwatchable) but from Wikipedia I gather that she drinks some magic tea and then can hear men’s thoughts which... makes her good in bed but doesn’t lead to as much professional success as you might expect. While What Women Want, directed by the great Nancy Meyers, is about a chauvinist learning to respect women, What Men Want is about a woman learning that most men suck and that they don’t deserve respect so it’s better not to work for them. What Men Want was directed by a man which, if you ask me, seems kind of pandering: why would a man make a film about how cartoonishly awful men are?

The rough premise of both What X Want films is that when the protagonist has access to the inner thoughts of the opposite sex, what they hear is revelatory: the opposite sex is apparently unknowable, inscrutable, vastly foreign. It requires magic (or bathtub electrocution) to know what others really think. Ha! Well, I have that magic. A portal to another world. A world where men, unobserved, unfettered by social barriers, freely say whatever they really think of any idea, image or product you present to them: Reddit.

I’ve often complained to Matt that practically any post on Reddit which features a young and/or attractive female woman girl will draw comments from men saying that they’re going to jerk off to the picture. Why do you think we care that you’re going to mash your genitals while watching this gif of a girl in a bikini using a homemade water slide? Why did my eyes and mind have to be subjected to this information about your plans for the afternoon? Did that first improbable spark of life, apes descending from trees, straightened spines, the birth of technology, everything our forebears strived for across eternity, really lead up to this moment where you wrote that on the internet? Why are we pack animals?

So the shtick of this blog post is: I sneak about on Reddit to find out want men want, what they care about, and think about. But! We ladies don’t care what they think about beer and barbecues (we already know that all men are practically BBQsexual, am I right?) so let’s identify a few things where we do care about what they think. 

For our purposes, I think women only care about men’s opinions on women - and possibly also sexual politics. For sports, most political issues, food, music, etc. I think we all agree that if you ask a man what he thinks, he’ll probably give you a pretty straight answer. The fantasy of knowing what men really want is that it’s information you would not normally have access to, because you’re too shy to ask, or you’re concerned his answer would be evasive or dishonest. Most people aren’t dishonest because they’re mean liars. They’re dishonest because they doesn’t want to hurt your feelings - or perhaps because they can’t be bothered to argue. So some of the impulse to eavesdrop on someone’s thinking is an insecurity, it’s suspecting they’ve withheld or softened an opinion - and wanting to know the full truth even if it’s hurtful. 

In particular (and mostly because I want to talk to someone about these books), I’m going to pick ideas from Sally Rooney’s novels to compare romantic men as written by a woman with the actuality of men on Reddit. Rooney writes love stories (or at least love-adjacent stories) which are widely read by women and have been enormously popular: this to me suggests that her idea of romantic men has resonated with many women and therefore it may be interesting to see if the interiority of the men she’s written could exist in the real world (or, at least on Reddit).

My methodology for trawling Reddit for relevant information is simple:

1. Is the attribute mentioned in Reddit’s NSFW directory? I don’t want to solely rely on the Reddit NSFW directory as a barometer for men’s interest in things, but I believe when trying to assess what men find attractive, this is a decent tool. I would venture to say that every (legal) niche interest is addressed by a NSFW subreddit: gamer girls, women in sundresses, redheads, anime princesses, cute girls, sexy girls, skinny girls, mums, teens, big boobs (attached to women with rich interiorities, I’m sure), mascara stained tears, and so on forever. Related to this: just because a subreddit exists to address a particular niche (e.g. braces), this doesn’t mean all men find that age group, attribute, body type, piece of clothing, etc. attractive - but it at least illustrates that someone found it attractive enough to create a community dedicated to it.

2. Is the attribute mentioned in any of Ask Reddit’s 'Men, what’s one unusual thing you find really attractive about women’ type threads? Men seem to sense that these threads are always started by women, so the responses are more romantic than sexual. Dudes tend to say the ‘unusual things’ they find attractive are freckles, when women can’t reach things on high shelves, messy up-dos, etc.

Question 1: Do men like the pale, non-sexy parts of women?

In Rooney’s second book Normal People, the male protagonist spends a lot of time looking at the female protagonist and admiring her pale delicacy.

You look really well, he says.

I know. It’s classic me. I came to college and got pretty.

He starts laughing. He doesn’t even want to laugh but something about the weird dynamic between them is making him do it. ‘Classic me’ is a very Marianne thing to say, a little self-mocking, and at the same time gesturing to some mutual understanding between them, an understanding that she is special. Her dress is cut low at the front, showing her pale collarbones like two white hyphens.

Later, he admires her pale lips and wrists: 

He hasn’t seen her in person since July, when she came home for her father’s Mass. Her lips look pale now and slightly chapped, and she has dark circles under her eyes. Although he takes pleasure in seeing her look good, he feels a special sympathy with her when she looks ill or her skin is bad, like when someone who’s usually very good at sports has a poor game. It makes her seem nicer somehow. She’s wearing a very elegant black blouse, her wrists look slender and white, and her hair is twisted back loosely at her neck. 

Women hope men think of them in this way: that men closely observe us and like what they see, that they can thrill romantically at non-sexy parts of our bodies like our under eye bags or bony elbows, that they’re so devoted they like us even when we’re sickly. Lolita has this to thank for its enduring popularity. Sure, Humbert Humbert is a broken man and a pedophile but he’s so lyrical:

I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know that I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth. She was only the dead-leaf echo of the nymphet from long ago - but I loved her, this Lolita, pale and polluted and big with another man's child. She could fade and wither - I didn't care. I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face.

Men want to be him, women want to be adoringly described by him. 

Anyway. Let’s check Reddit to see what men really think of pale wrists and collarbones - or if they think of them at all.

There are no communities in Reddit’s NSFW directory focused on wrists or collarbones or any bony protrusion through pale skin. There is a subreddit dedicated to NSFW content featuring pale girls with ~420,000 subscribers but the focus of this content is sexy areas of the body (enormous pale breasts, perfect pale butts, etc.) and there is not much coverage of pale wrists and/or collarbones.  

I also couldn’t find any references to pale non-sexy parts of women in any AskReddit threads related to things men find attractive about women. 

Conclusion: I do not believe that men as a cohort are particularly into dark under eye bags, bony chests, etc. These are just things women wish men liked about them.  

Question 2: Do men like damaged women?

In Rooney’s first novel, Conversations with Friends, the protagonist has the following conversation with her ~lover~ in bed:

I want you to hit me. I don’t think I want to do that, he said. I knew that he was sitting up now, looking down at me, though I kept my eyes closed. Some people like it, I said. You mean during sex? I didn’t realise you were interested in that kind of thing. I opened my eyes then. He was frowning.  Wait, are you okay? he said. Why are you crying? I’m not crying. Incidentally it turned out that I was crying. It was just something my eyes were doing while we were talking. He touched the side of my face where it was wet. I’m not crying, I said. Do you think I want to hurt you? ...  I don’t know, I said. I’m just telling you that you can.

In Normal People, the protagonists have a similar exchange during sex:

Will you hit me? she says. For a few seconds she hears nothing, not even his breath. No, he says. I don’t think I want that. Sorry. She says nothing. Is that okay? he asks. She still says nothing. Do you want to stop? he says. She nods her head. She feel his weigh lift off her. She feels empty again and suddenly chill. He sits on the bed and pulls the quilt over himself. She lies there face down, not moving, unable to think of any acceptable movement. Are you okay? he says. I’m sorry I didn’t want to do that, I just think it would be weird. I mean, not weird, but... I don’t know. I don’t think it would be a good idea.

in the context of these novels, this behaviour is a form of self-harm from women who hate themselves: even those I’m closest to want to take advantage of me, will do what they want with me, will hurt me if I let them. The perfect men, confused and innocent to this self-destructive behaviour, are concerned and decline the offer. The women interpret this as a form of sexual rejection but the reader knows this rejection is actually romantic. Could we really thrill over a man who agreed to beat her? No one talks about 50 Shades of Grey anymore but Mr Darcy lingers in the minds of mothers and BBC-watching daughters the world over. Rooney’s romantic leads are very nice men for not hitting the protagonist during sex. 

Importantly, while the offer of subservience and sexual violence is not an immediate aphrodisiac, it adds to the overall appeal of our lady protagonists as women who are soft, damaged, not easily available, but also deeply vulnerable. Bob Dylan muses, basically (she’s delicate and seem’s like veneer. Sidebar on that line: I heard it when I was 17 and was jealous because it’s so good. Turns out this line is hotly contested in places where people contest Dylan lyrics. One tribe thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like veneer. Another tribe thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like the mirror. The tribe which is 100% wrong thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like Vermeer.). 

These books both have this thread of college-aged women who hate themselves and want to be mistreated by their lovers, and lovers who are perfect and sensitive enough to like the control they have in the relationship, but not abuse it. My read on this is that women like to think that men like to save damaged women. Damaged meaning women who are clearly dealing with one or more of the following: 

Untreated mental health problems

Self-medication dependencies 

Daddy issues

Memories of growing up with violence/abuse/Teletubbies/war crimes/poverty

Heavy baggage from previous relationships

You know what I mean. So, let’s check Reddit to see what men think of damaged women. In the NSFW directory there are a number of BDSM subs, most of which are focused on women being dominated by men: women trussed up in elaborate rigs of ropes and straps, women being used in various ways, beaten, dominated. Most of these subs have between 100,000 - 200,000+ subscribers. This would indicate that there are a decent number of Reddit users who are interested in hurting their sexual partner. 

(DISCLAIMER: I don’t mean to kinkshame. ContraPoints (I think in this video) argued that while it’s fine to be into BDSM and enjoy being hurt or hurting someone else, it does suggest some things about you. BDSM isn’t just fun. No one wants to be tied up and beaten/pissed on for no reason. You want those things because it means something to you to be treated badly or to treat others badly. Liking BDSM doesn’t mean you’re damaged, but it might mean something adjacent to that.)

Furthermore, re: Reddit’s attitude to ‘damaged’ women, any time a guy on Reddit tells a ‘crazy ex’ story, someone from the 3 brain cells club will flop out an old cliché: don’t stick your dick in crazy. Men like to warn each other about damaged women. That cliché often attracts a popular counterpoint:  

Crazy chicks are good in bed! What a treat: there are perks to dating a damaged woman. More than anything, men on Reddit love acting like they know a lot about women and wild sex. A damaged, compliant woman is great for clocking up these experiences.

I think we can say that some men do indeed like damaged women. The impression you get from Reddit is that a lot of these men would take advantage of the vulnerable Rooney protagonists, but that’s the point even within the novels: the man could have said yes, could have hit her - which the reader wouldn’t find romantic because we know that on some subcutaneous level she didn’t really want to be treated that way. A lot of romance only reads as romantic because we’re aware of the unromantic alternative: what if Richard Gere had treated Julia Roberts the way most men treat prostitutes? What if Bob Dylan compared a beautiful, mysterious woman to the 17th century Dutch painter Vermeer? 

In the final act of What Women Want, Gibson loses the ability to hear women’s thoughts. The point the film makes is that he’s been so reformed by hearing women’s perspectives and relating to them as actual human beings, that he doesn’t need magic anymore to behave like a nice person. This is also because it would not be romantic to be in a relationship with a man who was eavesdropping on your inner monologue. If the relationship is real and working, then you don’t need psychic powers to anticipate how the other person is going to feel and respond to things. You can always just ask - and you’ll have to trust that the answer is honest. 

Bonus: more of that lovable scamp Mel Gibson:

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Nano XL Energy Formula - Makes The Body Supercharged

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It may take some time and a lot of hard work but after a few workouts you will begin to notice results. As you start to tone and strengthen the bigger muscles of your body, you should experience less and less back pain or discomfort. Do think that your butt is too small? You are in pretty good shape otherwise but your booty is just too flat and it does not have much shape? Wouldn't be great to make your buttocks bigger rounder and sexier? To be able to fill out your jeans or that sexy Nano XL Energy Formula dress you just bought? To make guys turn heads to look at you when you pass? It is true that girls with big well shaped butts 

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[dailyolsen]

Are Genital Warts Serious?

Elaine Davidson wasn't quite happy with holding the Guinness World Record for having the most piercings in 2000, when she was verified as having 462 piercings all around her body - including 192 just in her face. No, she went one step further, including 2001 she broke her own record with 721 piercings in practically all. Herpes simplex one is often times found with a mouth, but can also Recommended condoms be found on the skin surrounding the mouth. It's possible for herpes to even reach the eyes, but this is incredibly rare. Before an outbreak, you can experience the area becoming warm and tingly, followed by tiny watery blisters that begin to develop in that area. Note down your errands be very itchy as well as may also believe a burning sensation. take till three weeks for the infection to heal on its unique. However, even as soon as the sores are gone, the herpes simplex virus still remains hidden all of the nerves among the face. 초박형 콘돔 During morrison a pardon nineteen seventies and early eighties, the media played a huge role in frightening along with Recommended condoms words of fear surrounding this skin condition. The truth is, most people who carry herpes never show symptoms just about all and there isn't any real well being involved for most people. About ninety percent of the earths inhabitants are carrying either type one, type two or equally. It is certainly recommended which you use condoms while sporting sex. This greatly lower chances receiving HPV. But Condom Type aren't a foolproof way of preventing Warts. For example, genital warts grow as a result of an infection with HPV-6 and HPV-11 in about 90 percent among the cases. Sexual contact will be the easiest to HPV tranny. Over 30 HPV types are known, which are sexually fed. For this reason, HPV is considered the most common sexually transmitted infections around the globe. Nipple Sharp. Suitable for both women and women, will certainly nipple or both. RISK: The nipple can harden and scar, which will in the end result in difficulties breastfeeding (if you're female, that is). Because of problems with health issues, most will resort yet another means or method regarding go in part because of control avenue. You will find this kind of will most always end up being the case when the person isn't sexually active, and does not have a worries about birth controlled. Overall is actually very important which you are careful when anyone could have HPV or even if there is no. It will be the most common STD it truly is highly transmittable. Each year it is estimated that between 700,000 - 1,000,000 people contract the virus.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

13 household items you definitely shouldn't use to masturbate

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but toothpaste is not a substitute for lube. 

Sometimes, left to our own devices, us humans will do stupid things — especially when horny. After scouring forums on which people described their weirdest masturbating tools (a lot of plastic baggies, a lot of doll parts?), I've put together a handy guide for what not to use when you're horny at home. 

Homebody horndogs, this list is for you. Be careful out there. 

1. Jar of peanut butter 

Guys, don't go chasing jars of Skippy. That's just fucking nuts.

Screw the cap back on and walk away.

Image: Getty Images / Austin Benight / EyeEm

2. Vacuum 

Cleaning equipment isn't the best idea for your equipment. Depending on your vacuum, there's potential for mangling— some have a blade right inside the tube, designed to chop larger bits and pieces so it doesn't clog. According to The British Medical Journal, there have been numerous instances of penis-in-vacuum disasters. Also, the intense suction could leave blisters. Not to mention it's a device used to suck dust and dirt off of your floor. Your Dyson and your Johnson aren't friends.

Pleasure doesn't exist in a vacuum. You can find it almost anywhere, just not here.

Image: Getty Images / Bertrand Demee

3. A knife handle

While the handle of your Mercer Culinary 10-inch Chef's Knife might look fit for insertion, it's not. The last thing you want to do is show up to the ER with bloody hands because you were "trying to masturbate with a knife." Cut it out! 

Perhaps a spatula would be a better option?

Image: Getty Images / mailmyworkdd

4. Anything wooden 

What's worse than a splinter? A splinter in your vagina or butthole. Don't use any wooden items around the house— a baseball bat, a spoon, etc.— unless, of course, it's a wooden dildo, made for the one specific purpose of pleasure. Who says men are the only ones that are allowed to sport wood? Wooden dildo makers, apparently. 

Ah, nature.

Image: Getty Images / ChiccoDodiFC

5. A dog's toy 

I'd imagine that getting off with a brightly colored plastic, possibly squeaky toy would be annoying more than anything. However, in addition to bacteria, you run the risk of your dog trying to reclaim what was once theirs. Fetch yourself a vibrator.

Imagine your dog walking in on you using its toy as a dildo. The shame!

Image: Getty Images / Emilija Manevska

6. A rolled up magazine

Arguably worse than a splinter is a paper cut. Don't risk your bits for an issue of Vanity Fair, even if Beto O'Rourke is on the cover.  

You think a paper cut on your pinky is bad?

Image: Getty Images / aroax 

7. Soap

PSA for anyone with genitals: soap is for cleaning, not creaming. The ingredients in a majority of body soaps aren't intended to be dispatched inside of genitals, especially over a period of time. While you might end up with gleaming genitals, they'll also be burning. 

The face of a man with soap in his urethra.

Image: Getty Images / gilaxia 

8. A toothbrush

Like many orthodontia related items, toothbrushes (especially the bristled side) are no good for achieving orgasm. After all, it's just a stick of plastic that's been sitting in your bathroom. In that aspect, it's not much different from using the handle on a plunger.   

You can tell she's thinking about it. I just hope she doesn't go through with it.

Image: Getty Images / kicsiicsi

9. Toothpaste 

Your sexual organs aren't at risk of getting cavities, so don't let a tube of Crest anywhere near them. That cooling mint sensation? Not so cool down there.

An accurate depiction of where toothpaste is supposed to go: on a toothbrush.

Image: Getty Images  /  Georgijevic

10. The couch

If you live alone, go for it. But most of us don't have a couch we can freely hump. This can be found in the The Code of Roommates Who Don't Jizz On Shared Furniture Handbook under clause #2872. 

Yes, the robot is drinking scotch and enjoying a cigar on the couch, but at least it's not masturbating.

Image: Getty Images / Javier Pierini

11. Peppers

I'm not sure what would compel someone to willfully use a pepper to obtain an orgasm, but if you are compelled, pause. Think about what this could do to your body. You're (hopefully) not an arsonist, so why are you trying to burn it down there?

Don't fall victim to a burning vagina.

Image: Getty Images / Vera Tikhonova

If you are still feeling compelled, here you'll find a story of a 24-year-old Margaret who absentmindedly touched herself after making chili. She barely survived. But the chili was good! So there's that. 

SEE ALSO: 10 different but equally enjoyable kinds of masturbation sessions

12. A pie

We've all seen American Pie, the movie that is aptly named for its iconic scene in which actor Jason Biggs goes to town with an apple pie. No need to recreate that scenario, though. You'll just end up with a big mess and short one perfectly good pie. 

He resisted the urge to violate the pie! And now he's enjoying a slice... on the floor!

Image: Getty Images / dtp

13. Cucumbers

I know, I know, you thought the list would end without a mention of cucumbers, the seemingly innocent phallic vegetable. While it's probably the most tame item on this list, it's not ideal because of the potential germs involved. The risk of bacteria just isn't worth it. If you can get past putting a condom on a cucumber, then all the power to you. 

This cucumber doesn't seem to be in the mood.

Image: Getty Images / VladimirFLoyd

Next time you're looking around the house for something to pleasure yourself with, just use a toy made for sexual play. Or your hand. Just make sure you wash your hands after making anything involving peppers.

WATCH: Usually you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, unless it's with this keyboard waffle iron

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 24 - TBL - Going Stan

5-2 Regulation Loss

We’re all resigned to it now aren’t we? This brutally disappointing November has made us all accept, barring a wicked trade or a Yuletide comeback, that this season will probably be another stinker. Sure, they’re still only four points back of a playoff spot but we’ve all seen this show before haven’t we? It’s now looking like a decent chance the Sabres will have a two-win November… like March… ugh. I’m sorry, I don’t got a rant in me. I’m not upset, I’m just disappointed. How do you follow a sports team you know is going to suck? Other than the tank thing which I know I can’t do; you normally pick a player or two and ride them like you’re the biggest One Direction fan in your High School. I went off the deep end after this game last night. Someone tweeted Carter Hutton isn’t looking good, I thought back to Linus Ullmark’s god-like performance Sunday night and went into full stan-account mode. I’m finding all the gifs I can and dusting off my favorite hot take: Linus Ullmark is the best goalie in the organization. That’s right move over UPL and your fake hips! Move over Carter “I looked good because I was Pekka Rinne’s backup on a fun playoff run” Hutton! The revolution continues! Lord knows this organization is going to go on platooning them because it’s law apparently that this club cannot have fun and or a smart deployment strategy. Are we in hell? Like Donald Trump is President but not only that but he’s been all but proven guilty of treasonous bribery and nobody cares. Sorry, no need to get political but this world kinda feels like the upside down these days. Botterill hasn’t pulled the trigger on the trade we’ve been waiting for since July and the coach we all loved until Halloween decided to call Phil Housley for some deployment advice. I could just be grumpy because those Buffalo Wings from Sunday night wreaked havoc coming out the other end during this game. Saying that might be worse than going political. Hmm. I guess we should talk about the game now.

I missed a few things last game because… well to be very frank I’m not watching these games. I’m going to the Calgary game tomorrow and that will be the first game I sit through the entirety of since that Isles 1-0 snooze fest. Brandon Montour as a forward… *Very RJ voice* WOW! Evan Rodrigues injured in the first play of the game further deepening a forward injury crisis when the team has already fallen behind in the standings? *Even more RJ voice* They’re bad, SCARY BAD! So nobody would have been shocked if you told them the Sabres were going to lose this game. They’ve looked like garbage and Tampa is one of the better teams of the cap era. However this game was looking for ways to kick us in the balls. Andrey Palat hardly has to work to get a defensive zone turnover out of the visitors and he gets it to Nikita Kucherov who puts in… 13 seconds into this game. I don’t know what your game day habits are but my dad would still be on the concourse buying beer. I just ran out of money for the streaming service I got Sabres games on, so I’ve been working with the illegal streams reddit and that nasty underbelly normally causes me to not get my eyes on the game for the first 2-5 minutes. I would have missed that goal… you know, if I was watching. But as I said, this game, at least in the first period was looking creative ways to hurt our genitals. So after an early Tampa goal how do you do that? How about an Eichel to Olofsson to Sam Reinhart goal 3:40 in to even it up at 1? Sure! It was fun little goal. The cute top line we’re stuck with made a full neutral zone transition as the nerds say and Sam Reinhart took a shot that probably would have gone wide had Andrei Vasilevskiy’s pad not redirected it in. We’ve seen this show before though. With that tie the most I could muster was a solid Larry David “Meh”. This club can’t win unless it throws everything, and the kitchen sink out the door these days.

Buffalo didn’t look particularly awful in this game either. They outshot Tampa 27-14 in the first two periods. For a minute they wanted this game. But just like we’ve seen over and over this month, something just doesn’t connect, and they can’t get it going. Last night however, they had one more trick up their sleeves before the Bolts took the game away. Jimmy Vesey is the beneficiary of a blueline giveaway and takes it all the way home for the 2-1 Sabres goal! When I saw Jimmy Vesey unassisted I was already shocked but a breakaway against the Bolts? This stuff is getting weird now. Rasmus Asplund, now a fulltime Sabre because of the forward plague going on, got to Vesey first after the goal and you can’t see his mouth, but you know he was saying “Holy Shit, if you scored I can totally score!” Sorry, fourteenth Rasmus, you would not score in this game. But before we dive headlong into the negatives, and you know there is a lot of them, let’s sneak in some happy thoughts for your shortened work week. Victor Olofsson now has a four-game point streak with the Reinhart assist. Neat, right? In this economy!? A point streak during this stretch! There is more: Jack Eichel is now on a six-game point streak with six goals and five assists in that stretch. That’s the most points of any player on this team as if I needed to tell you that. I’m going to write a children’s book called Jack and Linus. It will be all about if you only have two friends in the world, you have to love them and treat them with respect. You have to defend them from the suburban hockey dads but also the stat geeks who will tell you Ullmark isn’t the best goalie in the organization. Yes, if this season is going to get bad I’m going to become a stan for Jack and Linus. I need something! I am not going to go to the Rochester Americans like I did in 2017-2018; they need to win a playoff game before I’m going to trust them with my heart again! Well after 2-1 we go headfirst into the rout.

First it was Mikhail Sergachev, the kid we passed on for Alex Nylander, getting a powerplay goal for the Lightning. Anthony Sciandra @SciandraSports brought up a devastating point: in November the Sabres have given up more goals on the powerplay than they’ve scored. They’re now 1-31 on the man advantage. That is the kind of stat where you can envision the Jennifer Lawrence Yikes gif as soon as you hear it. Are you ready? It. Gets. Worse! Yanni Gourde scores because to make it 3-2 Bolts and shortly thereafter this game gives us its hardest and most painful shot to the reproductive organs: the Sabres on the powerplay and Rasmus Dahlin drops the puck back before getting drilled in the face by Alex Cernak. When I say drilled, I mean the elbow was used as the drill head. Dahlin didn’t see it coming and falls to the ice. He did not return to the game. The zebras didn’t call it because of course they didn’t, this is the NHL! Cernak has a hearing but you and I both know this is a junk league, right? In a league where Robert Bortuzzo gets a four-game suspension for trying to murder Victor Arvidsson you know Cernak isn’t going to regret that hit. I don’t often use the term chicken shit but that was chicken shit. Ralph Krueger confirmed it was concussion in the postgame and say what you will about Krueger’s patience and hospitable manor, I would have preferred some anger over saying its in the league’s hands. I know you’ve been in England for a hot minute but over here we shit in the league’s mouth every chance we get. They deserve it. And the Sabres deserved the 5-2 loss that followed after surrendering in the third period. There was a 6-2 goal called back, but I think the game was over at that point.

How long am I going to be a Stan account? Well… if they lose to Calgary I am 100% going to stay this way into December. With a home-and-home series with the reborn Toronto Maple Leafs I’m going to need the armor of my sweet boys. Like, comment and share this blog if you need that armor as well. While you’re at it, if you like making fun little graphics, put Linus Ullmark and Jack Eichel in a little thing together; maybe two stoic faces back to back. I love the Eichel talking to Dahlin photo I got as my twitter cover now but if this gets rough I’m going to need the statuesque grace of Eichel and Ullmark watching over my tweets. I’m going Stan for now and it feels so right. It’s a busy holiday week on the blog, there is something going up every day. Yesterday and today it’s New Look Sabres. Tomorrow its State of the Support Episode Six, Thanksgiving Day its New Look Sabres again and Black Friday you’ll get a rare post from my religion blog: Hypostatic Thoughts. I think I’m going to post the one about Purgatory. That topic feels somewhat appropriate in a Sabres context right now as well, eh? Well I hope they don’t suck against Calgary. We’ll see! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. My Ten Year Challenge tweet was a little too easy.

[theseaeaglelives]

Round 19

THE SEA EAGLE

MAKING RUGBY LEAGUE GREAT AGAIN!!!

Round 19

Manly Sea Eagles      11                   

 Defeated

 FWRC Melbourne Storm    10

There are few things in life more satisfying that knocking of the filthy rorters from Melbourne. One would be to beat them on their own patch at AAMI Park but to top that would be to beat them in the last 30 seconds of golden point, and that is precisely what Manly did in round 19.

Let’s face it, the Storm are to rugby league what Sun Yang is to swimming, that being previously found guilty, despised, filthy cheaters who should not be allowed to compete in their chosen sport. 

The Sea Eagle also notes with bewilderment a recent interview with former Storm fullback Billy Slater in which he recalled his so called “four” premierships. Obviously, Mr Slater also believes that Ben Johnson won gold in the 100m Seoul Olympics and that Lance Armstrong won seven Tour de France’s, and such a degree of delusion can only be explained by the fact that Mr Slater once played reserve grade for North Sydney and in the Sea Eagle’s opinion, is infected by the stench of the Bear.

Taking on the filthy rorters in Melbourne was always going to be a tight affair and with this in mind, despite advice to the contrary from all and sundry in the Fox Commentary box, Manly wisely opted to take the easy 2 points on offer (from a penalty) after 10 minutes and opened their account. Manly 2-0.

  Surprisingly for the remainder of the half Manly played with a degree of flair and employed an expansive brand of footy obviously aimed at taking advantage of their more mobile and skilful pack. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly the Storm defence held firm (let’s face it they are more than a step up from last week’s opponents – the Eels). Manly also had to do their share of defence and also proved up to the task, repelling the Storm attack with relative ease.

With only 3 minutes remaining in the half again despite advice to the contrary from all and sundry in the Fox Commentary box, Manly wisely opted to take the easy 2 points on offer (from a penalty). Manly 4-0. Seriously, some of these so-called Fox experts (including incumbent QLD Coach Kevin Walters, Brett Finch and Greg Alexander) need to take a good long look at themselves and should never ever go near a coaching box again. When playing against the Storm (as the second half was to prove) points are gold and no easy opportunity should ever be declined.

Not only did Manly get the two points from this penalty but after getting the ball back from the kick off (as is normally the case), they managed to fashion a try after some fine lead-up work from Brad Parker. The Sea Eagle has been singing the praises of young Parker for some time now as he continues to improve and justify the faith shown in him by Coach Hasler. Manly 10-0 at the break.

A 10-zip lead against most teams would provide some degree of comfort – but not the Storm who responded with two tries of their own. Thankfully only one was converted and with 15 minutes remaining scores were level.

It was also noted that the Storm turned down their own opportunity to take the easy two points from a penalty on more than one occasion, decisions they would ultimately come to regret.

Under the previous coaching regime, Manly would have hoisted the white flag, but not this year under Des Hasler. With their backs to the wall Manly held on to force the lottery that is golden point. Whilst there were plenty of defensive contributors, the Sea Eagle would like to single out Jake Trbojovec for special mention, after racking up an astonishing 67 tackles. Unfortunately, one of them was deemed to be lifting in nature, and young Jake could be consigned for a week-off.

The Sea Eagle has previously gone on record declaring what an abomination golden point is and this game did little to change that view. The only salvation in this instance was that Manly reigned supreme after what appeared to be an avalanche of field goal attempts. Finally, it was Cherry Baby who managed to ice one and with only seconds remaining in extra time Manly ran out 11-10 victors.

Full marks must also go to the free to air Broadcaster Channel 9 who continue to disregard Manly when allocating prime time games and, in this case, have starved viewers of what can only be described as one of the best games of the season.

  Final Comment – Mark Coyne

The Sea Eagle reported last week that whilst holidaying in Singapore, Mr Coyne unleashed the following expletive laden tirade at local police officials "you are a f---ing stupid idiot", a "f---ing dickhead" and a "cock", "f---ing cock" and "f---ing dog", he also threatened to "sue you through your f---ing arse" and adding "if some f---ing stupid c--- sues me, I don’t f---ing care. Especially you". And then finally "you are f---ing crazy", "you must be f---ing embarrassed" and "you must be so f---ing proud of yourself"

This week a similar tirade was directed by the NRL Commission towards Mr Coyne, who has now done the only honourable thing and officially resigned from the NRL Board.

  It was also reported in various media outlets that Mr Coyne was virtually irreplaceable on the NRL Commission. Notwithstanding, should he be required, The Sea Eagle stands ready to answer the call and fill this vacancy. In promoting his credentials for this role, the Sea Eagle would like to declare the following pertinent essential personal attributes;

The Sea Eagle knows who the Sharks are (and despises them nonetheless)

The Sea Eagle has never consumed his own urine or defecated in public, and now after Todd Carney’s efforts, fears the dreaded bubbler even if it is for a cool dink on a hot day.

The Sea Eagle knows the difference between the Newcastle Knights and the Barcelona Football Club.

The Sea Eagle understands it is wrong to have or simulate having sex with a dog or allowing said dog to lick food from the genital area.

The Sea Eagle understands it is wrong to have or simulate having shat in a shoe and then spread said shoe across a motel room in the presence of other players (or anyone else for that matter);

The Sea Eagle has a healthy disregard for all forms of rugby league officialdom, but in the main still loves the game;

The Sea Eagle will willingly criticise that which needs to be dealt with, and will state the bleeding obvious when it appears not to be obvious to those who should know better, but in the main still loves the game.

The Sea Eagle likes a drink, but knows when it is time to go home – and in that respect believes there is benefits in following the rule that nothing good happens after midnight;

And most importantly, the Sea Eagle has never played in the NRL and thus is immune to the inevitable brain explosions which plague former players.

  AFL is Celebrating the Soft

Look, in the current era of me too!, one has to be careful about going too hard when the females start interfering in men’s affairs, in particular men’s sport.

Nevertheless, this one is too much too bear, noting as we do that it is an opinion piece, and therefore not based on any form of objective evidence or investigation:

My son is excited for Auskick. So he's taking ballet first Jamila Rizvi Columnist SMH: July 24, 2019 — 12.00am

  My son turned four last month…

Whether via biology or brainwashing, AFL is in my son’s blood. He’s going to have a crack at the game, at least once, and I suspect he’ll enjoy it. However, I don’t want him to feel like some activities are more worthy of admiration than others. 

Nor do I want his parents’ expectations or society’s gender norms dictating what will make him happy and fulfilled…...d to shortlist….

Footy, like most traditionally male-dominated sports, is making big strides when it comes to gender inclusivity. …..

Yet, when a little boy wants to be a hairdresser, an early childhood teacher, an aged care worker, or a stay-at-home-dad, his dreams aren’t generally celebrated in the same way………

Despite my lofty intentions, I admit that I was nervous about ballet. …..

While I knew Rafi would relish the opportunity to dance, I wasn’t sure how he’d react to being the only boy in class. Foreseeing potential disaster, I assembled my buddies. Two of my girlfriends have sons the same age as Rafi and they promptly jumped on the ballet train as well. There is safety in numbers. It would be a masculine insurgence at under 6’s ballet.

Jamila Rizvi. Jamila Rizvi is a columnist and former Labor adviser.

Sea Eagle Comment: Thank god this is an article about AFL. When the Eagle was a kiddie, he felt it was cool when he was taught how to tackle low and effectively, how to sidestep, draw and pass, make a break etc. and when he was given the greatest gift you can give to any young boy- i.e. how to exploit the blind side.

He also felt it was cool when the u14’s coach would say, “boys, it does not matter how big they are, just hit em low and hard and they will drop like trees”. Or “boys, they can’ run without legs” – and to then see it actually was true when put into action.

Time have changed, and in the Sea Eagle’s view in this example on ballet being an adequate preparation for AFL Auskick, not for the better.

That said, if a young fella wants to do ballet, in the Sea Eagle’s view more power to him. A very difficult activity of which there can be no doubt.  Statistically the male to female ratio is also overwhelmingly in his favour, so that can’t be a bad thing if the young kid has aspirations on being a chick magnet. What is not clear is whether ballet and say rugby league, have any cross ferritization opportunities?

The Director of Controversy is looking at whether a 95kg 10-year-old Tongan could learn a thing or two by taking up ballet before embarking on a full-blown rugby league career. Also being investigated is how would say 4 or 5 said 95kg 10-year-old Tongans be received, if they chose to turn up to the local upper north shore ballet dance studio for a bit of fine tuning in the cultural stakes? 

THE SEA EAGLE

[cutshawsnidowoa]

Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease — Get the Facts

The post Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease — Get the Facts by Arden Moore appeared first on Catster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Catster.com.

Feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD) in cats is serious. Casey, my 4-year-old orange tabby, sports a sleek coat, always aces his annual wellness exams and regularly made healthy deposits in his litter boxes — until one Sunday night.

I noticed he was taking a long time standing in the litter box. Then I heard his moan-filled cry as he squatted briefly before springing out of the litter box. I inspected to find a tiny circle of urine with blood.

As a master certified pet first-aid instructor, I knew this was a medical emergency. I placed Casey in his travel carrier, gathered the urine sample in a bag and took him to Hillside Veterinary Clinic, a 24/7 animal emergency center in Dallas.

The veterinarians were able to quickly unblock his urethra to allow the remaining backed-up urine to spill onto the steel examination table. As a precaution, they kept Casey overnight to monitor him and perform further tests.

As I handed Casey to the veterinarian for his overnight stay, I will never forget what she said to me: “I am so glad you brought Casey in immediately. If you would have waited until the morning to bring him in, Casey may have died.”

What is feline lower urinary tract disease or FLUTD?

What exactly is FLUTD? Photography ©St_Aurora72 | Getty Images.

All cats can be at risk for urinary stones or crystals, blockages, infections and a host of other issues. Plumbing problems like feline lower urinary tract disease, especially in male cats, come in many forms and can strike quickly.

“When a cat has a urinary obstruction, it is a true medical emergency,” says Lisa Lippman, DVM, a house call veterinarian in New York City with experience working at an emergency veterinary clinic. “When a cat can’t urinate, toxins build up in the blood and the condition can cause life-threatening organ failures, including to the heart.”

What are the signs of feline lower urinary tract disease or FLUTD?

Crying while urinating

Excessive grooming of the genitals

Bypassing the litter box to urinate elsewhere

Having difficulty urinating

Seeing blood in your cat’s urine

Any and all of these signs can indicate a blockage in the urethra, the development of urinary or bladder stones, stress-induced urinary tract infection, bladder wall inflammation or a host of conditions that fall under the blanket term known as feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD).

How to treat feline lower urinary tract disease or FLUTD

Depending on the issue, your veterinarian will perform a thorough exam that often includes taking blood and urine samples and performing an ultrasound. Your veterinarian may prescribe medications to relax muscles, reduce stress or fight infections in your cat and, in some cases, surgery may be required. “We often use an ultrasound to look at the bladder wall surface for evidence of stones or crystals,” says Hazel Carney, DVM, MS, DABVP, a board-certified veterinary practitioner at WestVet in Garden City, Idaho, who serves as chair of the American Association of Feline Practitioners Guidelines Committee. “And we do abdominal radiographs and analyze the urine for the concentration, the pH (acid base level), whether there are intact red blood cells, any signs of sugar glucose in the urine and any indication of infection.”

Cats recovering from feline lower urinary tract disease, including Casey, are then often switched to therapeutic diets made by major pet food companies, such as Hill’s, Purina and Royal Canin, to reduce the chance for another urinary issue.

Your veterinarian may also recommend adding key supplements to your cat’s diet. Popular go-to choices include Zylkene and Cosequin. Zylkene, a stress-reducing supplement, is made from casein, a milk protein with calming properties. Cosequin is a natural supplement used to help cats address bladder and joint issues. It comes in capsule form to sprinkle on a cat’s food or as a chewable treat.

How to prevent feline lower urinary tract disease or FLUTD

Entice your cat to drink more water to keep him hydrated and prevent “plumbing” problems. Photography ©Lightspruch | Getty Images.

While not all feline lower urinary tract disease cannot be prevented, you can play a vital role in your cat’s health and survival. That starts by paying attention to your cat’s bathroom habits. Know what is normal for your cat in terms of frequency and size of the deposits in the litter box. And, strive to increase your cat’s water consumption to prevent dehydration that can exacerbate urinary issues. Dr. Carney says many studies suggest that offering canned food might decrease the recurrence of urinary diseases.

“But if your cat does not like canned food, you need to have multiple water bowls in your home away from their food bowls,” she says. “Why? Because cats do not naturally eat and drink in the same location. If they stay in one location too long, their sense of vulnerability (to perceived predators) increases.”

You can also take these effective preventive measures against feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD):

Provide one more litter box in your home than the number of cats you have. Intentionally place each litter box in different locations, not lined up in a row, to prevent stress-induced issues triggered by one cat bullying another who needs to urinate.

Keep the litter boxes clean by scooping daily. Cats possess heightened senses of smell and may seek a different bathroom location (like your bed or living room rug) if they deem their litter boxes to be too dirty to use. “It is a myth that cats do things out of spite, like urinating outside the litter box,” says Stephanie Karpf, DVM, who co-owns For Cats Only, a feline-exclusive veterinary practice in West Palm Beach, Florida. “I tell my clients the importance of having plenty of litter boxes in different locations that are scooped daily for the health sake of their cats.”

Enrich your indoor cat’s environment with cat trees, interactive toys and bedding in safe, elevated areas to reduce the risk of stress that can take a toll on a cat’s body. Dr. Carney’s parting message: “Any cat who goes into the litter box, postures to urinate and does not produce any urine or just small drops of urine needs to be seen immediately by a veterinarian. This is a serious medical emergency.”

YES, female cats get urinary issues, too!

In most cases, a cat most at risk for feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD) tends to be an indoor-living male, young to middle-aged, who generally eats dry food and is overweight. However, female cats can also cope with plumbing problems. “Females more often present for feline interstitial cystitis (FIC) and, to a lesser degree than males, urinary tract infections,” says Hazel Carney, DVM, MS, DABVP, a board-certified veterinary practitioner who has focused on feline medicine and behavior for three decades and practices in Garden City, Idaho.

Because a female cat’s urethra is shorter and wider than a male’s urethra, urinary tract blockages are not as common — but they do occur and go unnoticed more by owners.

“The problem is that owners wait longer to bring in a female cat who is going back and forth to the litter box than they will for a male cat,” Dr. Carney says. “Some female cats may not pass blood, but have pain twinges and not cry out as a male cat would who has an obstruction. Owners may notice a cat is overgrooming her tummy, but fail to realize that could be an indication of bladder pain that needs veterinary attention to determine if it is due to stress, a skin disease or a urinary issue.”

Thumbnail: Photography ©ysbrandcosijn | Getty Images.

About the author

Arden  Moore is a pet behavior consultant, author and master pet first-aid instructor who often teaches hands-on classes with her cool cat, Casey, and very tolerant dog, Kona. Each week, she hosts the Oh Behave Show on Pet Life Radio. Learn more at ardenmoore.com and follow Arden on Facebook and on Twitter @ArdenKnowsPets.

Editor’s note: This article originally appeared in Catster magazine. Have you seen the new Catster print magazine in stores? Or in the waiting area of your vet’s office? Click here to subscribe to Catster and get the bimonthly magazine delivered to your home. 

Read more about cat urinary issues on Catster.com:

The Best Cat Urine Cleaner Methods

Is Your Cat Peeing on the Bed or Couch? Here’s Why

What Can Be Done for a Cat With Chronic Bladder Problems?

The post Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease — Get the Facts by Arden Moore appeared first on Catster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Catster.com.

from Catster https://www.catster.com/cat-health-care/feline-lower-urinary-tract-disease-facts via IFTTT

[hatchibomitar]

1-70

alright this has been sitting here for like a month and im tipsy so im gonna fkin answer it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i have a great relationship with my mom!!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my girlfriend 😊😊😊😊❤❤

03: Do you regret anything?

oh sure i do! lots of little things. that’s anxiety babey. but i don’t regret any choices that have got me to where i am today

04: Are you insecure?

it depends on the day, i am some of the time - but it’s a huge improvement from the past omg

05: What is your relationship status?

in a RELATIONSHIP with the LOVE OF MY LIFE 

06: How do you want to die?

i do Not like this question ! goodbye thot

07: What did you last eat?

salsa chicken and rice, and zucchini!!!!! and i might annihilate a pint of ice cream later

08: Played any sports?

yes omg i played soccer and lacrosse!!! i love lacrosse sm.

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope i never have! i used to rip them off though lmfao! not the whole thing!!!!! jsust bits

10: When was your last physical fight?

never lmao

11: Do you like someone?

yes

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no oh my goodness i would literally die

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

sober kaiden might be all dramatic and say yes but white claw kaiden says No :-)

14: Do you miss someone?

yes :( i want to be Kissed!

15: Have any pets?

yA omg i have 2 cats at my mom’s house!!!!! i cannot wait until i can have my own pet

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m actually feeling fgreat, it’s basically my summer break rn and usually i’d feel terrible with no strict plans of what to do, but today was so much fun. i had a great time just fuckin around. im very optimistic

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

HEHEHE oh my gosh, i don’t kiss and tell, but yes i do actually. ok so not a public bathroom but someone else’s bathroom at a party, yes, and my own bathroom, yes, and someone else’s bathroom, yes! i just love bathrooms (wow i sound so cis)

18: Are you scared of spiders?

not especially ! i am Not good at capturing them and also i cannot kill them, but i am sometimes ok with just letting them chill. ok maybe i lied. it depends

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

no 😤

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

the brit Popped Out! the last place was, the airport when i dropped my girlfriend off :(((((

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

omg well it’s still the weeknd rn? it’s sunday night. and my plans were: d&D!!!!!! and it was SO FUN!!! but next weekend, im seeing my bestie graduate college along w my other mt friends, and then on sunday i’m driving home 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Yes I Do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i ‘m not super sure, maybe 2? 1 would be fine too but also i feel like siblings are great, even tho they’re terrible at the same time. like i’d face my brother in ritual combat but i would also slap a high schooler in the face for being mean to him, yknow

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i do! i have 2 closed up ear holes. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

i was always great great great at english/reading/spelling! now i’m in college so like uhhh . i get to choose my subjects. so my best is photography ahah!! but i’m not bad at writing :-)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

not desperately. sometimes i feel the urge to reconnect with old friends tho

26: What are you craving right now?

a Kiss!!!!!!

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

wait omg first i have a story. so on facebook they used to have those things where you’d answer questions, like this, in a note. i got tagged to do one so i did. let me set the scene. it was sophonmore year of high schoool. im 16. i’d broken up with my first “real” boyfriend a few months ago. so i was tagged for this shindig right.? it got to this very same question: have you ever broken someone’s heart? and i thought about this kid who i dated for 2.5 months...and i was like....well, clearly, he’s devastated we aren’t together! so i answered “Yes. Unfortunately.” ooohhhhh..... the drama.......the absolute emotion..... riveting.... who was he ? i was probably listening to jonas brothers SOS at the time.

anyway, how am i supposed to actually know ? like does sometone have to say “u broke my heart?” bc if so no one’s said that. but my last gf took the breakup v hard so maybe ? but i don’t wanna plant emotions in to anyone’s skull!

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

one of my exes sexted her friends. jury is still out on whether that counts, please lmk me know ur thots. kaelin, if ur out there, i’m so.................................happy that i haven’t spoken a word to you for 3 years. fuck off !

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes

30: What’s irritating you right now?

real quick, an update on the chocolate ice cream situtiaon. i’ve cracked open my pint, as well as another hard seltzer. i’ve also lit a candle. it’s a real production

anyway, no ! oh hahahah. sorry. thought it shaid who’s irritating you. ummm, personal stuff! but im not like mad. just personal drama

31: Does somebody love you?

lors of people do! and lots of people love You Too!!!!! you’re a delight!

32: What is your favourite color?

i LOVE yellow !!!!!!!!!!!! and blue, specifically teal! but not too dark of a teal you km,now ?

33: Do you have trust issues?

depends what im trusting them with !

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i had a nightmare that i was sabrina the teenage witch and another witch was chasing me on a rooftop trying to kill me :(

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hmmm idk actually bc it’s hbeen hard for me to cry lately :( probably maya ?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

to be honest i don’t think i’ve often had the chance to Give a second chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

idk man iuhhh it’s kinda hard to just literally completely forget! and mnaybe not as healthy!

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

that’s kinda premature, it’s only april!!! but i suppose may is soon. idk im not sure! maybe every year is the best year of my life :-)

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

20 bb

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i have ANaughT

51: Favourite food?

i would give up everything for a bgagel. i also LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEE sushi! my fave roll is i think either spicy tuna w the spicy sawce or seared salmon ora spicy tuna hand roll. i fuck sushi

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

this is a hard question for me to answer bc i want to say yes but also i don’t think abuse or murder or bad things or unnecessary death happens for any reason other thna, it just does sometimes and that sucks real bad. so idk. i don’t think everything has a grand purpose. but i blieve in my life, everything that’s happened to me has in fact led me to where i am today and i’m learning and healing and growing. that being said i could do without some of the things that have happend to me!

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

read a storm of swords :00000

54: Is cheating ever okay?

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the point of cheating is it’s a breach of Trust! and that’s not okay!

55: Are you mean?

i hope not :(

56: How many people have you fist fought?

what is with u brits

57: Do you believe in true love?

depends what u mean by true love...like in fairytales? i think true love is just loving someone so much you’re willing to work on whatever you need to to keep them. not unconditional in the sense of “even if they’re mean i still love them” but unconditional in the sense of “even if u fart in front of me i don’t care, and even if you go through hardship and aren’t yourself for a while i will still love you because im with u for real”

58: Favourite weather?

SUN SUN SUN my favorite is when it’s warm out, but there are clouds to gaze at. it’s kinda humid. there’s a slight breeze. oh gosh i can’t wait for the summer :*( im currently cyring

59: Do you like the snow?

i am so fucking tired of the snow LMFAO it snows 8 months of the year here and i’m here, guess what, 8 months of the year! i fuckin hate it! go shit on someone else, clouds

60: Do you wanna get married?

YES more than anything, so much, i want to, so badly

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD I DIE I MELT

62: What makes you happy?

sunshine, late night drives, laughing so hard my stomach hurts w/ my best frineds, playing d&d, writing poetry,  thinking about how small animals’ feets are, petting my cat and making him purr, talking to my little brother about real stuff, kissing my girlfriend and seeing her smile, warm blankets when it’s cold, eating cookie dough, dancing, singing in the car, holding hands, walking in the summer and listening to my favorite podcast, talking about harry potter with my mom, playing overwatch in the summer with andy, going to council crest

the list could go on forever :-)

63: Would you change your name?

already did PAL!!!!!!!!!!!

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

only hard bc she’s not physically here rn. but no, it would be easy, beacuse she’s so kisssable

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

if you define sex by GENITALS YOU BIG BIBNCH then i don’t Have one

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

stop omg......

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

STOP OMG

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

hmmmmmmmmmm..... idk maybe jamie

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i don’t necessarily believe that there’s 1 perfect person for everyone out there romatnically, but i believe thaere are people destined to be in your life and i believe there are people that you will click with just absolutely instantly and feel an incredibly deep connection with, whether it be romantic or not

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

kinda morbid :/

[thegloober]

Pregnancy Games for Girls: Inside the Weird World of Pregnant Disney Princesses

I am helping a very pregnant Cleopatra give birth. It’s an exhausting and complicated process. First, she needs to be fanned. Then, I’m required to rub an ointment on her bulging belly (clockwise, counterclockwise and finally up and down). After leading her to a palace bathhouse where I light candles, play music, put aromatic herbs in the water, and rub her belly some more, I catch her newborn infant. The child is clean and Cleopatra is blissfully free of pain. There are no viscera. There is no feces. Cleo begins nursing immediately as I watch, proud of my work as a doula, but also confused. The birth is nothing like the ones I witnessed when my kids were born. It’s sanitized for an audience of little girls — an audience that is popularizing a bizarre genre of “pregnancy games” online.

“Cleopatra Gives Birth Into Water” is one of literally hundreds of pregnancy games that run the gamut from “Pregnant Ice Queen Bath Care” to “Pregnant Draculaura Emergency.” Taken as a whole, they offer mediocre gameplay and a very weird message about human procreation. Taken as a whole, they mean something. What do they mean? Well, that’s where it gets complicated.

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I don’t remember exactly how I stumbled upon my first pregnancy game. But I do remember that it involved dressing a pregnant Elsa from Frozen in a variety of outfits that accentuated her late-term midriff. Why did I do this? I don’t know. I like it when my wife was pregnant. I was bored. I have a subconscious desire to support the animated Norwegian monarchy. These things are all probably true, but truer still is this: I have a tendency to fall down internet rabbit holes. And the pregnancy game rabbit hole is deep.

I discovered the game was part of a vast ecosystem of flash-based games found on gendered and vaguely porn-y sounding websites with names like GirlsPlay.com and GirlGames.com. All the games involved a popular female character — Cinderella, the Little Mermaid, the Miraculous Ladybug — carrying and giving birth to a happy, healthy baby. The games were sweet. Creepy and sweet.

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Let’s be clear: These games were built so that seedy, backwater websites on the edges of the internet can sell ads or user engagement of some stripe at a high volume. Almost none can be played with an active ad-blocker. But that still doesn’t explain why the genre seems to appeal so strongly to its target audience of young girls or what those young girls think they’re learning from all the massaging and soothing.

Nobody wants to see Ariel from the Little Mermaid screaming in agony before pushing a viscera-covered baby fish monster out of the gonads near her anal fin.

The exact steps are subject to change, but the games all take the same basic shape, requiring players to provide some form of medical assistance to a cartoon mom going through labor. Players might provider her with pills or oxygen, take a sonogram or give her an injection. Players might also massage the mom, apply lotion to her belly or take her blood pressure. Whatever the process, the outcome is the same: the birth of a baby whose genitals are tastefully obscured. You know, like real life.

But obviously, while they’re simulations in spirit, none of the pregnancy games are supposed to offer little girls real-life insight. They are saccharine and sanitized. They suggest that after the love story, the inevitable outcome is pregnancy. It just happens. How? Ask your fleshy parents.

There are exceptions, obviously. A game called “Princess Cesarean Pregnancy,” for instance is startling explicit in its depiction of a cesarean surgery. After injecting an anesthetic into the spine of princess “Elisa,” players have to cut and spread several layers of illustrated skin, fat and organs before pulling the baby free. They then have to sew everything back up before being told they have saved the princess and her baby. There is a brief moment of blood on the first incision, and to be fair, there are some kids who would likely enjoy understanding the cesarean process, such as it is. At least “Princess Cesarean Pregnancy” is honest in its depiction. In the vast majority of games, the baby just appears from nowhere, in the princess’s lap.

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Obviously, the lack of realism is probably for the better. Nobody wants to see Ariel from the Little Mermaid screaming in agony before pushing a viscera-covered baby fish monster out of the gonads near her anal fin. And, if they do, there are surely other websites to cater to those needs — none of them kid-friendly. But while pregnancy games aren’t particularly graphic, that doesn’t mean they’re not disturbing. The small parts are innocuous. The whole isn’t.

In many of these games, the characters who are pregnant are Disney princesses, or at the very least Disney princess rip-offs. Is that really so distasteful? It’s really a matter of perspective. As an adult, pregnancy rarely occurs outside the context of sex. A pregnant princess causes an adult mind to conclude that Belle and the Beast got it on. And there is certainly a market for those kinds of thoughts. The internet is full of sites That depict the graphic copulation of Disney characters and their menagerie of not-quite-human sidekicks. And it’s fair to say the pregnancy games share the slapdash, bootleg quality of cartoon porn sites.

But little girls don’t see pregnancy in the same context as adults. They only understand it on a sexless continuum of theoretical procreation. These pregnancy games, for them, are the equivalent to playing house. There’s nothing really shocking about it. Women become mommies because they have babies. It’s that simple.

Except that it’s really not that simple, as any parent who struggled to answer the “where do babies come from” question can attest. The problem, aside from the sexualization of the beloved childhood characters is these games are clearly not made by people who care whether or not a kid might be traumatized opening Elsa’s abdomen to pull a baby free. Like the money grabbing YouTube channels that offer endless disturbing iterations of nursery rhymes the pregnancy game makers see kids as a commodity and have zero vested interest in not showing children weird stuff.

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Pregnancy games exploit a little girl’s curiosity about babies to make having them an aspirational goal.

Sure, kids being treated like a commodity isn’t anything new. Branded games are all over the internet, and kids love playing them. But what sets a pregnancy game apart from some mini-game downloaded in McDonald’s McPlay app is that it feels very clear that there is no regulation in how the games are made or what their value to kids might be. Also, there is no avenue for grievances. There is a sense that the makers know the games are awful but are also quite aware there are no repercussions for what they are doing. Good luck trying to track them down. The genre consists of internet pirates trying to explain birth to 8-year-old Frozen fans. And doing a really bad job.

And what’s more disturbing is that in their carelessness they have inadvertently created a dangerous message for girls. One in which birth and motherhood are portrayed as spotlessly pleasant. These games make it seems like everything related to love is pleasant. They ignore that life is mostly rough edges and that none of it is easy. Love isn’t easy. Pregnancy isn’t easy. Birth is a gore-fest. Of course, kids don’t need this shoved in their face, but they shouldn’t expect things to go smoothly. They’ll only be disappointed.

Consider how different these games are to the message of Barbie. Sure the doll is impossibly built, but at least Barbie excels in the workplace. She has Ken, yes, but their relationship isn’t about having a family, it’s about supporting Barbie’s variety of successful careers from science to professional sports. On the other hand, pregnancy games exploit a little girl’s curiosity about babies to make having them an aspirational goal.

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And all of this is likely happening under the radar of mother’s and fathers. Many parents won’t even know their children are playing these games. And that’s a shame. Because there are important conversations about pregnancy and birth to be had between parent and child.

For many girls, that conversation is being fulfilled by a cartoon Cleopatra and her dark-skinned servant girls. And the lesson being learned is frightening. The fact is that parents better have the conversation with their kids about procreation or a criminal in Taiwan likely will.

The post Pregnancy Games for Girls: Inside the Weird World of Pregnant Disney Princesses was shared from BlogHyped.com.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/pregnancy-games-for-girls-inside-the-weird-world-of-pregnant-disney-princesses/

[takenews-blog1]

All 49 ‘Recreation of Thrones’ Major Characters, Ranked Worst to Greatest (Pictures)

New Post has been published on https://takenews.net/all-49-recreation-of-thrones-major-characters-ranked-worst-to-greatest-pictures/

All 49 ‘Recreation of Thrones’ Major Characters, Ranked Worst to Greatest (Pictures)

  “Recreation of Thrones” has quite a lot of characters, and too many to rank. So we’re simply going to concentrate on the 49 characters who’re or had been an important, in our humble opinion. For those who do not like our record, Littlefinger will poison your wedding ceremony cake. (Many spoilers, clearly.)

49. Viserys Targaryan A complete jackass, Viserys had possibly the perfect loss of life in the entire sequence: having molten gold dumped on his head.

48. Rickon Who? (I really feel dangerous for this joke after season 6, however I’ll go away it)

47. Robb Stark The Crimson Marriage ceremony was a coming of age for viewers of the present. Rewatching these early seasons realizing that is gonna occur exposes Robb for the lame dude he actually is.

46. Stannis Principally a stodgy, moralistic Southern Baptist minister. I am from Alabama, so I used to be pulling for him.

45. Bran Stark Must work on his pouty face and develop out his hair if he desires to be the brand new Jon Snow.

44. Roose Bolton He is just like the Rely Dooku of this present, appearing like he is working for himself although he is actually only a pawn who most likely will get his head minimize off by younger Darth Vader.

43. Daario Was a scorching blond dude, however now (after a casting change) is only a repeatedly engaging brown-haired dude who was banished from Dany’s mattress as a result of who cares about love anyway?

42. Ned Stark The Mark Twain of the present, giving his youngsters a bunch of recommendation that wasn’t truly helpful earlier than he obtained murdered. Wait, how did Mark Twain die? This analogy might not observe all the way in which however no matter.

41. Joffrey Oh man. Keep in mind that time the cake was too dry and it made his eyes bug out and his face flip purple and he spit foamy crimson drool in every single place? Hilarious.

40. Shae Did what she wanted to outlive, till it turned out doing what she wanted to do to outlive (hooking up with Tywin Lannister) obtained her killed.

39. Tommen Not probably the most decisive king, both earlier than or after he had intercourse. However he is higher than Joffrey, I assume.

38. Khal Drogo Obtained fridged for the sake of Daenerys’ character arc. Lovely.

37. Gendry Melisandre put a leech on his penis one time. It appears like that is all I ought to put right here.

36. Theon I am nonetheless pulling for his post-castration energy play. Or for him to only get killed already.

35. Jorah Mormont Actually unhappy as a result of he nonetheless cannot afford to purchase Khaleesi’s love.

34. King Robert In all probability probably the most chill and carefree character on the present, drunk more often than not, yelling quite a bit though he actually did not have any issues. Nicely, till that point he drank an excessive amount of and obtained killed by a boar.

33. Ramsey Bolton Is Ramsey probably the most demented dude on this present? Nicely, he is undoubtedly the funniest demented dude, which is not truly humorous in any respect when you concentrate on it.

32. Catelyn Stark Loses to the Lannisters each within the Recreation of Thrones and the Recreation of Angsty Overprotective Mothers.

31. Talisa Stark Each joke that involves thoughts is way too reprehensible even for a “Recreation of Thrones” record, so I am not going to place one right here.

30. Sam An enormous nerd who predictably finds love in a home of someone else’s daughter-wives.

29. Lord Commander Mormont Died as a result of Sam discovered love in a home of someone else’s daughter-wives.

28. Ygritte A marksman with a bow, liked Jon Snow, killed by a baby. She was principally an viewers surrogate.

27. Gilly Would not know something apart from all of the stuff Sam does not know the best way to do. Which is most issues.

26. The Excessive Sparrow He tried pulling an enormous superior gambit, however in the end he was not ready for the Recreation in addition to he thought, judging by how laborious Cersei outplayed him.

25. Crimson Viper His irascible lust distracted him from delivering the killing blow in opposition to the Mountain. He can be a lot, a lot increased on this record had been it not for that obvious oversight.

24. The Hound Killed the butcher’s boy, then spent a number of seasons saying plenty of imply issues earlier than being left to die on a rock. If his redemption arc goes effectively he would possibly get a bump.

23. Jaime Lannister Can I make a joke about masturbating together with your off hand? There’s nothing in our model information about that. Anyway, the place’s the scene the place Jaime discovered how to do this?

22. Jaqen H’ghar Speaks in riddles, has many faces (and lots of our bodies), and set Arya on the trail to dropping her eyesight though he would have been burned alive if she hadn’t saved him. What a clown.

21. Tywin Lannister Was killed by his hated dwarf son. Precisely what he deserved, although I secretly hoped he would sooner or later simply be good to his youngsters.

20. Ellaria Sand Dedicated one of many best and most upsetting murders on the entire present.

19. Tormund Giantsbane Has an ideal identify, homicide in his coronary heart and an enormous lovely crimson beard. Additionally he was in “Destiny of the Livid,” the newest film in my favourite movie franchise. What’s to not like?

18. Jon Snow Nicely, he is lifeless. King of the lifeless ones. Undoubtedly not coming again ever. Not lifeless. Murdered a very irritating character. May stand to be much less good, although.

17. Euron Greyjoy We won’t assist however admire the (no pun supposed) pleasure with which Euron enacts his villainy. “I AM THE STORM!” Hahaha.

16. Hodor Shoulda been named “Meme.” (One other joke I really feel about dangerous about after season 6. I moved him method up in compensation.)

15. Margaery Tyrell Delightfully passive-aggressive towards Cersei on a regular basis. Certain, she was killed horribly by Cersei as a result of she made a basic “Recreation of Thrones” miscalculation — and I actually ought to bump her down for that — however, nah, she was an excessive amount of enjoyable.

14. Brienne Tall, kills quite a lot of males, is single and celibate, takes no crap from anybody and does not play the sport. An ideal counter to principally the whole lot else on “Recreation of Thrones.”

13. Tyrion Lannister Thinks together with his penis. Which is okay as a result of his penis is so sensible.

12. Varys Barely smarter than Tyrion as a result of he does not have a penis.

11. Melisandre A lot of folks assume of Melisandre because the “attractive” foremost character, however she’s truly the “terrifying” foremost character. Keep in mind that time she burned a baby alive? That sucked. Now she suffers for it, lastly, however she’ll most likely be again to do one thing superb. Nonetheless ready, although.

10. Missandei “All males should die. However we aren’t males.” Any questions?

9. Davos Seaworth Simply the MVP of season 7.

eight. Littlefinger In all probability the neatest character on the present, however makes use of all that brainpower for evil. So he is nice, is what I am saying.

7. Daenerys Commits many of the finest murders on the present, because of these dragons and her invulnerability to fireside. and so they’re often justified. Huge bonus factors for that.

6. Arya Stark By no means underestimate this faceless girl.

5. Olenna Tyrell Makes an ideal joke about ineffective genitals, and continually talks smack about everybody. And she or he obtained absolutely the final phrase in her loss of life scene. My dream girl.

four. Sansa Stark A whole lot of viewers nonetheless underestimate right here even now in season 7, pondering she’s taking part in proper into Littlefinger’s hand reasonably than having her personal plan for coping with his machinations. Ludicrous.

three. Bronn Enters the present in probably the most “Recreation of Thrones” method potential: by stepping out of the background of a scene to kill a man for Tyrion.

2. Gray Worm Simply the perfect. Unhappy as a result of his life sucks. Badass who kills quite a lot of his issues. Communicates quite a bit with out saying a lot. Gray Worm looks like the form of tragic “Recreation of Thrones” character who’s going to have a quick second of triumph earlier than getting slaughtered. I hope that triumph is actually good.

1. Cersei Yeah, she’s a horrible individual, however she’s the product of a horrible father and horrible setting. Via season 7, although, she’s been higher than everybody else at taking part in the sport, though each transfer she’s made has had some form of terrible unintentional consequence for folks she cares about. We’ll see if she will be able to keep this spot because the endgame approaches, nonetheless.

[straight-hate-blog1]

Herpes

From day one my own personal life-long herpes infection has presented me with several ethical challenges. It has challenged me on the question of who to tell and when. It has challenged me on the issue of what to say and how to others with herpes. It has challenged me on the question of "Do I have any responsibilities towards trying to prevent the people in the community who do not herpes from getting it, and if so what are they"?

On how to tell and when:

When I was diagnosed with herpes the doctors told me that it was safe to have sex with others as long as I avoided having sex during outbreaks and that I would get warning signs of when an outbreak would be coming. Luckily, we are working with much better information these days. A person with herpes is potentially contagious every-single day of the year and safer sex including using a combination of a condom or dental dam and an anti-viral gel is the best way of ensuring that one isn't inadvertently spreading the virus.

I was an irresponsible coward when I first got herpes. Because thedoctors told me that I wasn't contagious without outbreaks and because I was in the habit of using condoms, I decided that I only had to tell someone that I had herpes if and when it seemed like the relationship was turning serious and there would be regular sexual contact. I had justified my cowardice by thinking that the risk to others was too small to stick my neck out and get the rejection due to a herpes leper. Please don't be like me. Not telling someone before you have sex that you have herpes is absolutely the wrong thing to do. There's no real way to justify it. I now tell potential lovers I have herpes even before the first date. It gets the weight of this guilt most herpes people have off my chest and to me it feels like the right thing to do.

Many people tell me that it's okay if you're not going to have sex with someone to wait and see if the relationship becomes serious before telling them about herpes. Sure this is much better than waiting until after sex, but to me it still isn't good enough. If you care about someone, if you respect them , why not tell them as early as possible so they can decide if they want to invest the energy and time in getting to know you better? Isn't it a bit manipulative to allow someone to develop feelings for you without warning them that they risk a life-long viral infection if they get involved with you? Think about it. If you wait until they are already emotionally attached to you, they may feel compelled to continue with the relationship when they may not have if you had told them up-front. It takes more courage and integrity to tell early but it feels better to have the weight off your chest and the person you tell will usually respect you for giving them the choice.

I am especially appealing to men since I believe that men are not as protective of their sex partners when it comes to telling about herpes as women are. Guys, please don't have sex with anyone without telling them about your herpes. And if they don't know the facts don't understate the risks- herpes is a more physically and emotionally devastating disease for women than it is for men and it is much easier for a man to give a woman herpes than it is for a woman to give it to a man.

On how and what to say to others with herpes:

I am a holistic healer- a herbalist and homeopath. My family have been healers for many generations in my native country of Trinidad and Tobago and as far back as Africa. I had little to no interest in treating herpes as a healer until I got herpes myself. Wanting to change a negative to a positive, I decided to make the holistic treatment of herpes the cornerstone of my practice. The bible says "the stone that the builder refused, I will make my cornerstone. Bob Marley and the wailers sing about it too.

It didn't take me long once I decided to become a holistic viral specialist to realize that I was confronted with a daunting challenge. Most professionals including all the herbalists and homeopaths I know rely heavily on referrals to build their client-base. Here I was now working with a client-base that I was never going to get a lot of referrals from. My patients with herpes don't go around telling the world that I helped them with their outbreaks. Some of my patients have yet to tell their significant others that they have herpes, many have not told their closest friends and their family. I am not a company. I don't have an advertising budget. The only way for me to reach out to others with herpes and encourage them to come for me for treatment was to speak out in public about my herpes work and about herpes in general. This forced me to be far more out of the closet than would have been my personal choice.

I seem to always create challenging situations for myself. Speaking to others with herpes is not a task for the faint of heart. Some people like to shoot the messenger- I have the bullet-wounds to prove it. But I can say that speaking to others with herpes has been and continues to be one of the most gratifying experiences in my life. I feel a deep bond with many of the people with herpes who interact with me. I felt this kind of bond when I played team sports. I've felt this kind of bond all my life with other black people. There's something about "us against the world" that can make people tight with other. I love my herpes friends. I love my herpes patients- even the ones who misbehave. I am not grateful for getting herpes, but I don't regret it either. Nevertheless, the truth hurts, and I have some bitter truth to tell others with herpes:

Having a lover who also has herpes isn't a free ticket for unprotected sex. Even if you both have the same strain Even if one gave it to the other. Having unprotected sex with each other can and often will make one or both partner's cases of herpes worse. It's called re-inoculation and it's a message many with herpes don't want to hear.

If you have herpes or cold sores you are potentially contagious everyday and there is no sure way to tell if you are shedding virus. So do consider using a condom/dental dam combined with an anti-viral gel when having sex and do be careful about sharing wet towels or wash cloths with others.

No two people get herpes the same way so you are going to have your own individual experience with the virus and will have to find your own way of dealing with it on all the different levels you will have to deal with it.

A cure for herpes in our lifetime is unlikely and there are no quick-fix solutions for managing herpes. Herpes cannot be managed with a topical agent alone- whether it be creams, lotions, or essential oils. Managing herpes takes changing your diet, managing stress and other triggers, and may also require either taking herbal medicine or drug therapy.

You may not get fewer outbreaks as you get older. While this is often the case, since no two people get herpes the same way, other diseases, menopause, self-abuse, re-inoculation by unprotected sex and other factors can change the pattern of frequency and severity of outbreaks at any point during your life-long journey with herpes.

Cold-sores are just as contagious if not more contagious than genital herpes and you can infect others when there are no signs of sores present.

Having herpes does make you more vulnerable to other sexually transmitted infections including HIV, cervical dysplasia and genital warts.

Daily use of l-lysine is an ineffective strategy for treating herpes and can do more harm than good. There are more effective natural remedies such as garlic for treating herpes without side-effects.

On talking to those who don't have herpes:

The reality check for me is that the mainstream and alternative media do not want talk about herpes. They would prefer to keep us in a ghetto. There is a lot of misinformation floating around and people without herpes have few places to turn to hear the facts about herpes. They don't hear the facts in their churches, young people are not being educated enough about herpes in school. Most parents aren't teaching their children about herpes, older siblings are not passing information down to the younger ones.

It's really up to us who have herpes to try harder to dialogue with those who don't. HIV won't be the last word in human population control from the world of viruses. If we don't learn how to better protect the population from getting herpes and other sexually transmitted infections we are going to be in a lot of trouble. Herpes is a gateway disease it provided easy access through your mucus membranes for any sexually transmitted virus.

[libertariantaoist]

“Heaven and Earth are heartless treating creatures like straw dogs sages are heartless too they treat people like straw dogs between Heaven and Earth how like a bellows empty but inexhaustible each stroke produces more talking only wastes it better to protect what’s inside”

-Lao-tzu- (Taoteching, verse 5, translation by Red Pine)

HU SHIH says, “Lao-tzu’s statement that Heaven and Earth are heartless undercuts the ancient belief that Heaven and Humankind were of the same lineage and thereby created the basis for natural philosophy” (Chung-kuo-che-hsueh-shih ta-kang. p. 56).

SU CH’E says, “Heaven and Earth aren’t partial. They don’t kill living things out of cruelty or give birth out of kindness. We do the same when we make straw dogs to use in sacrifices. We dress them up and put them on the altar, but not because we love them. And when the ceremony is over, we throw them into the street, but not because we hate them. This is how sages treat the people.”

HUAI-NAN-TZU says, “When we make straw dogs or clay dragons, we paint them yellow and blue, decorate them with brocade, and tie red ribbons around them. The shaman puts on his black robe, and the lord puts on his ceremonial hat to usher them in and to see them off. But once they’ve been used, they’re nothing but clay and straw.” A similar description appears in Chuangtzu: 14.4.

WU CH’ENG says, “Straw dogs were used in praying for rain, and these particular bellows were used in metallurgy.”

WANG P’ANG says, A bellows is empty so that it can respond. Something moves, and it responds. It responds but retains nothing. Like Heaven and Earth in regard to the ten thousand things or sages in regard to the people, it responds with what fits. It isn’t tied to the present or attached to the past.”

WANG AN-SHIH says, “The Tao has no substance or dimension, yet it works the breath of emptiness between Heaven and Earth and gives birth to the ten thousand things.”

WANG TAO says, “The Tao cannot be talked about, yet we dismiss it as heartless. It cannot be named, yet we liken it to a bellows. Those who understand get the meaning and forget the words. Those who don’t understand fail to see the truth and chatter away in vain.”

HSIN TU-TZU says, “When the main path has many side trails, sheep lose their way. When learning leads in many directions, students waste their lives in study” (Liehtzu: 8.25).

HO-SHANG KUNG says, “Whenever the mouth opens and the tongue moves, disaster is close behind. Better to guard your inner virtue, nurture your vital essence, protect your spirit, treasure your breath, and avoid talking too much.”

SUNG CH’ANG-HSING says, “If our mouth doesn’t talk too much, our spirit stays in our heart. If our ears don’t hear too much, our essence stays in our genitals. In the course of time, essence becomes breath, breath becomes spirit, and spirit returns to emptiness.”

And, RED PINE adds, “Cultivating the heartless center between Heaven and earth, sages delight in the endless creation of something out of nothing without becoming attached to anything. The Chinese phrase pu-jen (no heart) not only means ‘unkind’ but also refers to any fruit that has no seed or kernel in its center. The straw dogs used in ceremonies in ancient China were much like Christmas trees in the West – used for a day, a week, a month, but not for long.”

                                                         –

Today’s verse is a hard one. Why? Because, we all claim to like impartiality. It is held up as a virtue. But, do we really want to be judged impartially? That depends. When we are standing before a judge, we hope to be able to make our case, and the judge to look upon us favorably, even if the facts in the case stand against us. Often, what we really want is partiality. The impartial, the truly impartial, will be viewed as heartless. The impartial will be thought of as unkind, even cruel. But, what they really are is unmoved. You shouldn’t ascribe motive, here. Heaven and Earth simply don’t care.

The sage therefore, doesn’t care, either. Heartless! If it was seen as virtue, it would be said of them, “They treat everyone the same.” Complete impartiality. Unmoved. Uncaring. They won’t intervene. They won’t interfere. They won’t try to force things. They won’t try to control.

This, my friends, is the only equality we should be interested in. Equality under the Law of Nature. But, I don’t want to be treated like a straw dog! Or, like a Christmas tree (as Red Pine compares it to). I want to matter!

Well, of course you do. And, you do matter. Everything and everyone does have a purpose. And that matters. But, what no one and no thing can ever hope to claim is that they matter more.

So like a bellows is nature. Empty but inexhaustible. Each stroke produces more. But talking only wastes it. Better to protect what’s on the inside.

Fulfill your purpose. Do your work and then step back. Don’t whine! Nature responds, and the sage responds. Just not in the way we might like, showing partiality. No, nature and the sage both respond impartially, like a bellows, with only what fits. There is a purpose, it just seems to be purposeless. It seems to be purposeless because nature and the sage act purposelessly. Without struggling. Without effort.

Trying to act purposelessly isn’t the answer, obviously. That requires effort. But how to be, without trying?

I once had the honor of knowing a young man who epitomized this practice. It is not at all a wonder to me that Lao-tzu often refers to children, to show this practice of purposelessness. For this young man was just a boy. He was my son’s best friend at the time. And, I got to observe this boy quite closely. For a couple of years he spent a lot of time in my home.

What I observed was someone for whom everything seemed to just happen naturally. He exuded a natural confidence. He was athletic, and involved in a variety of sports related activities. But, I wouldn’t characterize his involvement as competing. He was just playing. And, he seemed to love it, without caring. When he was running, his speed was deceptive, for he ran effortlessly. He certainly didn’t seem to be trying. And someone, observing only casually, might have been tempted to urge him to try harder. I hope that never happened for him. It might have killed that spirit. Like, I am sure, that spirit has been killed in many children. For, without trying, he succeeded. Over and over again. And, I honestly don’t think he would have succeeded any better by “trying” harder.

Now, I wouldn’t characterize this boy’s life as easy. His parents were divorced, so he lived half the time with his mom and half the time with his dad. And, neither of his parents were well off. He didn’t have a lot of what the world considers blessings. He just seemed to live his life as unaffected, as unmoved, by any of that, as anyone I have ever known.

He moved away years ago. And, I don’t know what has become of him. I only know what he was in those few years I observed him.

                                                         –

Red Pine introduces the following sages with today’s verse:

HU SHIH (1891-1962). Student of John Dewey and leader of China’s New Culture Movement that helped establish vernacular Chinese as a legitimate form of literary expression. Chung-kuo che-hsueh-shih ta-kang.

HUAI-NAN-TZU (D. 122 B.C.). A.K.A. LIU AN. He was the grandson of Liu Pang, the first Han emperor. He was a devoted Taoist, although his search for the elixir of immortality was prematurely interrupted when he was accused of plotting to seize the throne and was forced to commit suicide. The book named after him is a collection of treatises on mostly Taoist themes written by a group of scholars at his court.

WANG TAO (1476-1532). Incorporates Confucian interpretations in his commentary. Lao-tzu-yi.

HSIN TU-TZU Interlocutor in Liehtzu: 8.25).