#if you dare ask for more his level goes to the negatives

[solomiracle]

dinner date with diavolo where if you select the option that says “no pickles” with your order his intimacy level goes up by 10 regardless of what level he’s currently on

[pistatsia]

Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby." 

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight. 

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off". 

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly. 

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what? 

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day. 

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

[skelliko]

Hello! I hope you're doing well!🪄

I wanted to request some head-canons? For both Ran and Rindou ...

How would they act with a s/o that has BPD? Which one would feel more hesitant about the relationship? How do they act when the s/o pushes them away but immediately clings on them when they try to leave?

If you don't feel like writing this it's totally understandable so no worries!!! Love you<3

a/n: sorry if I got anything wrong here I do apologise if I have, i tried to gain as much information as I could about it but also not add a lot, I don't mean to offend anyone. love you too stay safe <3

ran + rindou haitani |°- s/o with BPD

°- Rindou Haitani

• he would test the waters from a distance, I reckon he's more smarter and closed off than ran when it comes to relationships and knowing of your bpd makes all the difference from thinking it over and playing out scenarios about what you would be like even with very little information about the disorder. all he knows is bpd makes someone think in black and white, but is that really true?

• he'd get close to you but then take a huge step backwards to recollect his thoughts about you, he's aware on how complex the disorder is but he only knows the surface levels of bpd not what could potentially uncover. but part of him wants to try and not think too much about it and rather think about you as a person

• sometimes he's a busy person and has to cancel plans that the two of you have made, at this point he knew you could turn to be upset but he didn't expect that part of your perspective on him to turn south. now he triple makes sure that when you make plans it'd be consistent and not on days when rindou is supposed to do other things.

• he gives into your clinginess, he tried to match the energy but the way you love him is unmatched but he loves that part about you. but after some amount it gets tiring, he's taken consideration of that beforehand but wasn't aware of how much negativity you can also bring out if rindou did something that made you switch up. always thinking about his words and what to do to show you that he loves you the way you love him. even despite asking himself on how fast you can love, but he goes along with it either way.

• when he's in a position where you want to be left alone as if your battery has gone past it's drained limit, he ponders a little. standing in the middle of the room 🧍 wondering if that's truly what you want but doesn't verbally ask. all before turning his direction towards the door to leave. he probably made at least 10 steps away from your home before he felt his phone go off with your messages popping up to tell you to come back and how you're sorry for making him leave like that.

• he complied though. with a few complaints in his mind but he didn't exactly want to you leave you like that and upon feeling your tightening and warm grasp after stepping foot in again it made him feel certain emotions. something like that will happen again he just knows it, but hes not mad, maybe a little annoyed but he will come turning back towards you if you plead nicely. he just only hopes that it stays to this sort of extent and not anything more.

°- Ran Haitani

• I feel like he would be curious about you, he'd dive in and test the waters with a hand and then fall in but ponder whether or not if he should get out of the water. he wants to know how deep the pool is and if theres anything he could find that he doesn't see from the surface. he's daring himself to find out what you're like.

• previously he knew so little about bpd, he only knew things from what he's heard and the stereotypical things that people say, but over time he realised that there's so much more to you than what he's heard, and that's what made him more curious than hesitant in wanting to hold your hand.

• when he realised that he became, on what people call, to be your 'favourite person' he had a small intrigued smile on his face but his brain was running in different directions, is that a good or bad thing? hes more than noticed your loving side towards him and despite all that curiosity and wanting to know more, that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel anything for you.

• he feels hurt when you push him away to be left alone but then gets confused and a little annoyed when he follows through but you end up not liking that, or how you don't respond to his messages but get angry when he doesn't reply to yours. it's like you're always contradicting yourself.

• he couldn't keep up with you isolating yourself and not knowing if your alright. but if it's a request that you want to happen with no questions then he'll follow by it to not make you any more upset than you already are at the moment. even though he wishes he doesn't have to.

• though after turning his back on you and to make his way to the door he heard your voice and next thing he knows your trying to make him stay longer, hugging him with so much emotion to the point where if you squeezed harder you would have merged your soles together.

• he's trying his best to make you happy though, sure sometimes it's hard for the both of you to keep up but if space is what you want then he'll give it, and if you want him with you then hell also give you himself. he's hard on himself and is in a state of wishing that he could know what the next day would be like for you two but he doesn't and won't cast you aside if that helps, despite how confusing and anxious ran gets.

 ♡----

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep9: Year of Hell pt 2

I definitely haven't seen this one since it first aired, because the only things I remember from it were Janeway and Tuvok hugging, and the ship crashing. Literally everything else in this was like new to me, which was completely wild to experience after more than two decades.

Why I didn't rewatch it again in all this time, I don't know- I remember thinking 'ugh' whenever I'd see it on a rerun and flip channels, but it's actually a lot better than I gave it credit for??? Maybe as a kid all the sad, scary stuff the crew goes through just made more of a negative impression on me, and I know I would have been very worried that somebody would get killed off back then. I had a deeper attachment to Star Trek characters than any other shows I watched, so the stakes always felt a little bit higher in Star Trek, versus other shows I didn't care about as much.

But anyway, I was clearly way too young to realize how hot the whole crew was yet, because I didn't remember the part where Chakotay and Tom are aboard the Krenim timeship at all. And oh boy, watching it as an adult? with Tom in that costume with that v-neck top? Incredibly distracting. Like, excuse me sir, how dare you be that pretty?? All tall and blonde and blue eyed with your tousled hair and your unbuttoned shirt?? Illegal levels of hotness!!! go to jail for 1000 years!!!

But aside from making my fangirl brain go brrrr every time Tom appears on screen, I do think the scenes on the ship with the Krenim bad guy, Annorax, were very interesting and well done. We learn that Chakotay and Tom have been held captive there, in solitary confinement, for two months, before Annorax decides to let them out. He brings them to have dinner with him in an attempt to convince them to work with him to help him get his timeline back, and restore Voyager in the process. Tom is pissed off and skeptical, but Chakotay plays it more diplomatically, and tries to hear Annorax out. Annorax does a convincing job of presenting himself as cultured and reasonable, until he tells them that the little feast he's treating them to is actually a macabre repast made up of the last existing delicacies from civilizations he's erased from existence. He tells them how he's been manipulating the timeline with the time weapon on his ship for 200 years, existing outside of normal time, trying to get the calculations right to bring the entire Krenim empire back, like some sort of Flying Dutchman in space. Chakotay and Tom are horrified, and Tom won't hear of helping him, guessing that the only reason Annorax is asking them is because he hasn't been able to find and destroy Voyager yet. He storms out, but Chakotay stays, hoping there might be a way to use the time weapon in a less violent way to accomplish what Annorax proposed.

Meanwhile, back on Voyager, the seven remaining crew members are fighting tooth and claw to keep the ship together, hiding in a nebula to avoid the Krenim and try to repair their failing systems. Janeway, as usual, powers through it all by throwing herself into work, rarely eating or sleeping, risking her life time and again, and ignoring doctor's orders to rest when she gets sick or injured. (She has a rare moment of sentiment when she finds the watch Chakotay gave her still in his quarters, despite her order to recycle it. She doesn't know of he's alive or dead at this point, so she's too moved to be angry, and she picks it up, and puts it on her belt, like a good luck charm.) The Doctor tries to relieve her of command when he thinks she's pushing herself too far, but Janeway hits him with the reality that she can just say no- they have no security officers, they have no brig, no energy for more forcefields- he can't enforce any orders on anyone. He tells her he'll record her refusal in his log, and that she could face a court-martial for disobeying, to which she responds with a wry smile that they'd have to get home before she could ever face a court martial, and she's the one who's going to get them home, by continuing to work. Even making it out alive to face a court martial would be nice for her, compared to what they're going through. She walks off, leaving the Doctor to contemplate his abstract principles, while she, as always, is forced by necessity to do the real, hard work to hold things together and shoulder the responsibilty for the ship and crew, alone.

Back on the Krenim ship, Chakotay works with Annorax to learn how to use his time weapon, and Tom buddies up to the crew, trying to gather what info he can from them that might be useful against Annorax. He tells Chakotay the crew are unhappy in their endless mission, and that they could be convinced to mutiny against Annorax with their help. Chakotay says no, and wants to try to use the time weapon, which Tom disagrees with, and they come pretty close to having a fistfight over it, since Tom (rightly) thinks Annorax is a maniac, and that Chakotay has been swayed over to Annorax's side. Whether Chakotay actually has been swayed or not is kind of open to interpretation- Annorax certainly was giving him a lot of seductive speeches about what an art form the manipulation of time can be, and Chakotay seems to earnestly believe he can find a way to use it for good. And if he was actually just playing a long game, and trying to earn Annorax's trust so they can get the better of him, he absolutely should have told that to Tom, rather than letting him think he's sympathizing with the enemy, and thus giving him a good reason to not follow his orders. At any rate, Chakotay seems to finally realize that Annorax is a madman who can't be reasoned with once he learns that his centuries of meddling with the timeline stem from accidentally erasing his own family in one of his attacks, and that everything he's been doing has been a desperate attempt to get them back. They watch in horror as he uses the time weapon to erase an entire planet, and Tom finally convinces Chakotay to go with his plan. Tom gets his Krenim friend to let him send a message to Voyager, and to help them shut down the time weapon so Voyager can attack.

By the time Voyager receives Tom's message, Janeway has assembled a small fleet of allies to stand against the Krenim- Voyager is nearly crippled, so she sends the rest of the crew to the alien ships, and stays behind on Voyager to coordinate the attack that now has a fighting chance, thanks to Tom's help. This is the scene I always remember, of Tuvok attempting to convince Janeway not to stay on a compromised Voyager to die. But Janeway waxes poetic about how a captain always goes down with the ship, and how Voyager is more than just a ship, it's their home, a part of their family that she can't abandon. Tuvok knows her too well to argue, so he gives her a Vulcan salute, and accepts a hug from her in return. Her face as he returns her embrace for one rare and probably final time, when she almost breaks down as she says goodbye to him, only to snap herself back to composure, to send him away in order to do what she has to do, is an absolutely devastating moment, and an incredibly subtle piece of acting from Kate Mulgrew.

Even standing alone on her wrecked ship, battered and filthy, with Chakotay's watch tucked into her belt, Janeway still exudes the air of a Captain, and leads the charge to the Krenim ship. (Which looks so much like Babylon 5! I honestly have to wonder whether it was intentional- I can't imagine anyone working on Star Trek wouldn't have been aware of that show, or what their space station looked like. Though whether it was a nod to them or a dig at them, I don't know.)

As soon as Annorax sees Voyager, he wants to destroy it, but his second in command holds fire long enough for Tom to take the time weapon offline. Even with regular weapons, Voyager is too damaged to fight back, so Janeway decides if she's going down, she'll take them with her. Only Kate Mulgrew could sell that incredibly cheesy 'time's up' line with so much conviction that I buy it completely. I get why her whole crew would die for her- I would die for her too. If you watch this show and still say you wouldn't die for her, you're lying. Janeway supremacy forever <3

Somehow, Janeway figures that taking out the timeship might reset the timeline, so she has her ships disengage their temporal shielding and rams Voyager into the Krenim ship, destoying them both.

And the timeline resets!! How? I have no idea! How did she know that would happen? I also have no idea! Would it have been nice if that theory were introduced into the script earlier, and played with a bit more so it didn't seem like a crazy last minute add-on that was too convenient to be true? Yeah! Am I mad enough about it that I'm gonna complain about it too much? No! Do I just enjoy the badass ferocity of Janeway ramming her ship into a bad guy's ship to save millions of lives, even if she has to risk her own to do it? HELL YEAH!!!

So we end up back on Voyager before the Year of Hell began- everything is pristine and lovely, and the crew is looking forward to their little opening celebration for the new astrometrics lab. A Krenim hails them, gives them a friendly warning that their territory is in dispute, and recommends going around their space for safety. Janeway thanks him, and sets a course to avoid their space. They go on their merry way, never knowing the year they endured in another timeline.

And the last scene is of Annorax, back at home, with his wife, going over his time manipulation research, and ignoring her until she insists the research can wait, and that he should have breakfast with her. He agrees, but his research is still there, and it's a chilling thought that without knowing the 200 years he spent trying to fix his mistake, he might make it all over again one day. (But seriously, in 200 years, he didn't figure out that blowing his ship up would reset the timeline and bring his wife back?! Like that's literally all he had to do?! But Janeway guessed that correctly in one split second hunch?! Not the best writing in the world, but hell, I'll give it a pass because Janeway badassery! I love you, my captain!!! No thoughts, just Janeway!!!)

Tl;dr: The ending wasn't as strong as the beginning, but it was an exciting ride, with some really fine moments. I won't be waiting another 20 some years to rewatch this again, I can tell you that!

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously: Train(crash) on the Brain

Hi, I’m gonna complain about “Style Queen” (and “Queen Wasp”) Again! (Warning for S5 spoilers)

For all I see the traincrash complained about, I never see anyone actually talk about how messed up it and Chloe’s motive are in context with how it’s handled - because you have the show present to us/the audience that Chloe is obsessed with getting her mother’s love and approval. So much so that she copies her every mannerism and got upset that she was more interested in her daughter’s bully victim than the daughter herself as well as mocking her on live TV, and was willing to endanger an entire train full of civilians over it on the premise that she believed doing something “heroic” would make her mother reconsider her being “unexceptional”.

It, at both it’s base and deeper levels, is messed up and awful. That Chloe both decided on this course of action and that the effect her mother’s absence has had on her influenced this are equally horrible things. And instead of addressing that, instead on tackling that obsession, instead of talking about how messed up it is Chloe felt she needed to do this to get her mom’s attention (or that Audrey, for whom she did it for with said attention in mind, responded so dismissively at the whole fiasco), instead of talking about how this was the wrong way of handling whatever trauma Audrey’s abandonment had on her and she might need to reconsider how valuable that love is if it’s driving her to try and crash trains and having her needing to ask her mother why she doesn’t love her - the show just has Marinette encourage them to bond through their shared evil and treats it like the problem begins and ends with Audrey staying in France instead of everything else it just presented within these two episodes.

And I’d be more forgiving of it if MLB was one of those black-comedy parody superhero shows, but even they manage to handle those types of topics with a bit of tact. If the entire point of Audrey’s treatment of Chloe was meant for comedy, they would (and should) have just kept things limited to the whole “Audrey’s so detached from her family and such a raging narcissist she can’t even remember her own daughter’s name” instead of dedicating the entire following episode and later ones and several mini-moments in this and the prior season to how this treatment has had a negative impact on Chloe and is one of the main reasons she’s so awful to everyone before having it drive her to almost cause a citywide tragedy and give her a magical artifact because of it. The show runners spent so much time showing how Audrey’s been such a toxic influence on Chloe even in her absence and gave such an extreme case example via the attempted train crash of why it’s bad she doesn’t seem to recognize what a terrible person her mother is/her effect is on her, so having them act like Chloe just needed mommy dearest (and how Marinette needs to give up her dream to help achieve this when there are a million different canon ones for why she can’t go to New York and why another character could and should be involved in this arc instead) to spend time with her is just baffling? Especially when they then proceed to turn around and go “LOL JK! Chloe never had any depth actually, KA-PRANK!” at everyone in the season 3 finale for having dared to get invested in the storyline they introduced in the first place! And even then, it didn’t actually solve anything because Audrey’s still a neglectful POS afterwards and Chloe goes from schoolyard bully to cartoonish psychopath before the show then decides to use her mother as a “punishment” for her Also don’t even dare talk to me about Zoe - no she is not “proof” that Audrey isn’t an excuse for Chloe being a bad person because “she still turned out good despite Audrey doing the same to her” because 1)we have zero info on how Zoe was raised in New York. All we know about her backstory is that Audrey left too and that she got bullied for lying. We aren’t told what the Lee household is like or how they treated her or what sort of life she had lived before the liar reveal forced her to moved. For all I know, Mr.Lee donates yearly to the orphaned penguin fund and his wife (if he has one) reads to blind streetlamps. We can’t say she had the exact same backstory but turned out different when we don’t know what her backstory actually is. And 2)Audrey barely effects her backstory. Audrey isn’t the reason she moved. Audrey isn’t why she got bullied by her classmates. Audrey isn’t why she was mean to Marinette after meeting her again (Chloe was). Audrey has no involvement or connection to Zoe or her character outside of birthing her and validating Chloe’s claims that a Bourgeois must be “perfect”. I could literally make Zoe’s mom any other character in the series, and not only would “Solecrusher” still play out the same way as canon - it’d still run into the same issue as mentioned. Zoe isn’t good “in spite” of Audrey’s neglect, but because that just happened to be her default setting. I can at least say Audrey is, more or less, partially responsible for how Chloe turned out as a person and involved in her character arc because the show actually bothered to show this in series. Can’t say the same about Zoe though, because the writers didn’t try to give the two a connection outside of Audrey being her ovary-donor because they cared more about making sure everyone knew Zoe was anti-Chloe and better for it instead of proving the point the fandom claims she represents.

Like, if the show had Marinette (or maybe one of the other characters they had shoving her towards getting involved) say “Chloe, your mom’s a huge b-word and you absolutely should not be hanging around her anymore than you already are. It’s the entire reason I dropped the apprenticeship offer with her. Also, you should maybe think of investing in a therapist if she has you so twisted up that you decided crashing a train was the optimal solution to her disinterest in you.” and then have that advice rejected, it’d be fine - but instead they had Marinette say they should be bonding over how nasty both are and made it out to be like Chloe being exactly like Audrey was good and necessary, before then chiding anyone and everyone for still being attached to her afterwards because how dare! Don’t you know Chloe’s evil? So much so that she’s even more evilier than Hawkmoth! She’s just rotten to the core - always has been. What do you mean we had an entire arc showing she potentially could be a good person and it’s because her mother’s a bad influence? You’re imagining things. Chloe’s just evil because evil, nothing more nothing less!

(and it’s so frustrating they only had Marinette say this so they could justify keeping Chloe as an civilian antag when they could have just had Adrien, who would be justified in saying this seeing as how he has such an unhealthy view of family relationships thanks to Gabe, take her place and have the same result - or better yet, focus on Lila, whom they brought back in “Chameleon”, and have her take Chloe’s place as the civilian antag so we could better have the set up for her eventually becoming the new Butterfly holder!)

“It’s just a kid’s show. It doesn’t have to take the subject seriously. They just didn’t want to make Chloe a hero.” Alright then. Fair. If MLB just wants to be a silly kids show, it can be that - just don’t include the topic of Chloe and her mom then. If you want to be a dumb heeheehoho show about two kids with magical super powers who want to date, then don’t include heavy subjects like child neglect. Don’t make the child neglect part of the character backstory. Don’t make it be revealed the reason she bullies people. Don’t make it lead to a 2-season long arc about the character potentially joining the good guys, and then suddenly go “LMAO nope” after stringing along the audience the whole time! Don’t give depth and character focus to character you have no plans on actually utilizing it for, and then I can happily say to myself “it’s just a dumb kids show” and leave it at that!

[agentnico]

The Beast/La Bête (2024) review

Dolls, Blue Moon and… pigeons.

Plot: In the near future where emotions have become a threat, Gabrielle finally decides to purify her DNA in a machine that will immerse her in her previous lives and rid her of any strong feelings. She then meets Louis and feels a powerful connection, as if she has known him forever. A melodrama crossed by the genre, which unfolds over three distinct periods, 1910, 2014 and 2044.

Essentially this is a film that covers every genre possible. From *deep breath* melodrama to romance to thriller to mystery to sci-fi to drama to psychological to surrealism… the list goes on. It is so difficult to stick The Beast (or La Bête as the French title goes) into a specific box, as it’s so many things all at once. This is a bold and audacious piece of filmmaking from French director Bertrand Bonello, based on a Henry James short story/novells “The Beast in the Jungle”. However this film is anything but short. At over 2 and a half hours, this takes you on a disorientating, divergent and daring odyssey through time, and it is both bombastically incredible yet also highly frustrating. Look, this didn’t completely burn out my eye-sockets like Edward Yang’s 1991 epic magnum opus A Brighter Summer Day that was 4 flipping hours long! Don’t get me wrong, that movie has novelistic level of richness in character, narrative and depth, but at that runtime you’re taking the actual mick! So The Beast is nowhere on that scale, but it is definitely a movie that will challenge you mentally, and will make you question everything.

Exhausting is a word I’d choose to use when describing this film. Not in a negative way, but more so how it throws so much at you, but doesn’t explain the half of it. In fact it is very Lynchian in its absurdist style, and reminded me in some ways of Mullholland Drive - a movie at the end of which I too found myself asking the simple yet well earned question of “what the actual f***??”. The Beast feels, especially at the beginning, as if it should have been a piece of poetry, as scenes were happening, and even though there was the loose narrative connection of them being various versions of characters’ past lives, for the most part it seemed like a cluster of random allegorical shorts squeezed together in an anthological format. In the end it does come together granted, but as a collective Parnassus package this movie isn’t supposed to work. It can easily be called out for being pretentious and convoluted and slow, but I do believe this thing somehow, for no genuine explanation, works! It’s a baffling interweaving of the intimate and the spectacular, classicism and modernity, known vs the unknown, yet at this core this is a love story, that is expressed in its varied forms. Essentially The Beast is the answer to the ideology of human connection. Deep.

Wes Anderson darling/Bond girl Lea Seydoux is truly magnetic in this role. She delivers so much through her eyes, and I felt every emotion, even in scenes where I was completely narratively lost. This is easily her best performance I’ve seen from her. George MacKay has less to work with, as he’s more of a foil to Seydoux’s counterpart, but his chemistry with her is solid, and also in the LA segment he absolutely nails this incel character called Louis Lewanski who blogs/monologues on his iPhone about hatred towards women. It’s a performance that is suffused with pitch black humour and a mounting sense of dread. Both Seydoux and MacKay are incredible in this, but also I must applaud the look of this movie. Each shot feels like it should be a painting in a museum. The use of colour to the camera set up to the angle and blocking, with pitch perfect set designs and costumes, this movie looks crisp. The imagery somewhat reflects the movie’s focus on visions and dreams, and honestly this may be the most beautiful looking film this year.

La Bête will stick in my brain and haunt me for a long while, and in fact with how AI is such a current majorly spoken about topic, it does make one wonder if we do become overly reliant on artificial intelligence, will we lose all that is necessary to the human spirit - our emotions, our fears, our doubts? Additionally, the psychological idea of fear and that behind everything that we’re afraid of there is a wish, and the romantic ideal of persistent love…. gosh, this movie is sublime! I do think in parts it does get up its own arse, don’t get me wrong, but this is the type of movie that has something to say, and also is very much the kind of film Letterboxd users would quote as “THIS IS CINEMA!”.

Overall score: 8/10

[phoenixyfriend]

OKAY so on the topic of Star Wars takes wrt “character ends up in an A/B/O universe where they’re an omega, but they were previously a cis male in their canon”

@atagotiak and I had some Thoughts on discord

So, obviously, Anakin would make a good omega and he’s also incredibly murdery. Foregone conclusion that we're using him for this.

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse. He shows up JUST as the war is starting. Canon timeline is in the third year of the war (he’s 22), but whatever dumped him into omegaverse also tossed him back a few years. No de-aging, just a bit of mismatched timeline stuff.

He's... really good at war, and clearly a Jedi, so the Temple just kind of goes "WELL OKAY THEN, SURE, YOU'RE IN, EVERYONE PRETEND HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME." The Jedi, by and large, don't care about omegaverse dynamics beyond 'what do you need, medically, to be happy and healthy' and 'what do you need to be aware of so you can be prepared for biases you encounter in the field?’

None of the civilian natborns (mainly politicians) want to put him on the field because of those biases. Anakin, being Anakin, is VERY blatantly an omega in scent, has never been on suppressants (because it wasn't a thing he fucking NEEDED), is incredibly emotional as a person, loves kids, etc.

Like, nobody wants an omega fighting a war anyway, but THIS one is like PINNACLE omega, and those awful Jedi are making him FIGHT just because he's good at stab!

The Jedi: Actually, it's because he's got several years of war experience that we don't, and he's a good tactician that works well with the clones-- Coruscant: You MONSTERS The Jedi: Look, we gave him the option to not stab and he looked absolutely devastated. Anakin, several days earlier: You don’t want me? I’m not good enough??? Jedi: Also he can beat up at least half the temple.

He doesn't know a damn thing about dynamics, but he DOES know that sometimes he's so horny he wants to stab HARDER. The clones are largely disinterested in their generals' dynamics because between mostly-Mando* trainers and no-dynamic Kaminoans, they only really care if a person can shoot.

* Mandalore approves of Fighty Omegas. As far as (traditional) Mandalore is concerned, you want an omega that will kill the threats to your children as well as you do.

Anakin: You know more about being an omega than I do. Rex: ...I'm an alpha. Anakin: Yeah. Let that one sink in a bit.

We have two options for Obi-Wan!

Omegaverse local Obi-Wan (beta) has never met this man before, and is very unnerved that the immediate default reaction Anakin has to his presence is releasing Family pheromones as if Obi-Wan is his DAD and like. This strange, too-tall man from another dimension has got absolutely NO control over what he projects in the Force OR in his dynamic.

Obi-Wan was ALSO transplanted from canon to omegaverse, and is also an omega, for contrast reasons. He is nice and friendly and and likes poetry and that sort of thing... but also he has the highest dismemberment count in the movies. Also he doesn’t prioritize romance.

We went with the second one because it's hilarious.

Someone watching them spar: Wow, omegas from that universe are terrifying.

As previously mentioned, now with some tweaking to account for both: Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don't exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood. (It's mostly not theirs.)

Nobody realizes either one is an omega until they "naturalize" to this dimension and Anakin goes into heat... and doesn't realize it, actually, because his primary symptom is heightened protectiveness and aggression. Everyone else with the right nose realizes, because the man has no control over his pheromone production, but Anakin? No. He just stabs. He’s angry and horny and he will cut someone.

Ahsoka has no reaction to human pheromones but basically everyone smells Anakin's "my child!" reaction to her, so... Cool. Have a padawan, we guess.

Anakin ends up sparring a lot with Aayla and Ahsoka, because only humans and near humans have dynamics, so these two don't REACT to the pheromones situation.

(Palpatine is a Kindly Old Beta who tries to treat Anakin the way he EXPECTS Anakin wants to be treated, which is. Not. Accurate.)

(Anakin hates it.)

I'm just so in love with "An omega can't fight." "You wanna fuckin' bet?"

There are plenty of omega Jedi, by the way, it's just... most of them can keep it relatively low-key instead of Anakin's jet-engine broadcast. Some, if they're known to be omega, probably take advantage of being underestimated, like Obi-Wan probably (and especially a version of Obi-Wan that was always an omega, unlike this version). They have a very different way of presenting themselves than Anakin, who's not subtle about being an omega and also not subtle about being all aggressive and stabby.

At one point, Anakin has to protect some Very Traditional Individuals who get all "Stay back, Omega, it's not safe!" and he's just... so tired of this shit. “You are squishy civilians and I'm a trained Jedi Knight and accomplished GAR General who's killed more people in one sitting than there are in this entire palace. Sit the fuck down and let me do my job.”

It starts making the rounds that Anakin insisted on fighting in person, and the rumors shift from "how dare the Jedi force an omega to fight" and over into things that are deeply hurtful in-universe in the vein of "broken omega" and some people try to say it to his face but like...

He didn't grow up here.

He doesn't care.

Say that to one of his friends and he's going to rip out your spleen, probably, but say it to him and he's just staring at you flatly and asking if that's a negative on getting away from the encroaching battle droids, sir?

"You're rather unpleasant for an omega, aren't you?" [deeply offensive] "I literally could not give less of a fuck about your opinion. Move."

It's not that there aren't omegas that act like Anakin, either, it's just that most of them aren't, you know, Jedi who regularly interact with the upper crust, or capable of his level of destruction. Unbeknownst to Anakin, everyone clocks him as Outer Rim based on his behavior, well before his accent gives him away, and certainly before he mentions he's from Tatooine, because Core Omegas Don't Act Like That.

Someone they meet in a more diplomatic setting says something decently passive-aggressive about how at least Obi-Wan acts more like how an Omega should. Then a battle breaks out for some reason, and... well. Anakin and Obi-Wan cause such a scandal by keeping score of kills in a battle, don’t you know?

Turns out sending Anakin to fight Ventress is great because she keeps expecting him to react a certain way but NO he's here to STAB.

I like the idea that Obi-Wan's favorite opponent these days is Grievous because the cyborg doesn't have a nose, and thus gives zero fucks about dynamics or heats. Dooku is a rich old man who has opinions heavily influenced by Sith Juice Making Him More of a Dick, and the Dathomiri can smell dynamics even if they don't have them, and so they have biases about those things. Meanwhile, Grievous is just there to Kill, and Obi-Wan genuinely appreciates the lack of commentary on his dynamic.

Dooku’s probably an alpha, or a beta who's used the whole "we are more level-headed" thing as one of several angles to keep himself the public face and supreme commander of the CIS.

On to more fluffy things that have less to do with political biases.

There's a lot of "I'm upset that my loved ones don't know me," but also please understand the appeal of Obi-Wan marching up to Quinlan like "Yes, hello, I understand you've been read in on the full situation behind myself and my former padawan. I was close friends with your alternate universe self, which I feel is necessary disclosure before I propose the following: Would you like to join me for my upcoming heat, as I have minimal experience with the dynamics situation and even fewer people I actually trust, and I believe I can put my faith in you to treat it as casually as necessary while still having control and respect for my person."

(The Team is in a fairly safe place to process stuff, but having sudden unexpected changes to your biology has gotta be a little traumatizing, on top of ending up in a universe where none of your friends know you and people have a whole host of unfamiliar forms of sexism to point at you.)

Obi-Wan, who wasn't quite touch-averse but was much more easily overwhelmed by physical contact than Anakin (who craved it), suddenly finds his body switching gears and insisting on cuddles with Trusted Loved Ones, which is.... mostly Anakin, on account of nobody else really knowing him yet. Also Ahsoka, who is aware that she's something of a replacement for her alt-universe self, but Anakin explained it as "I love you so much no matter which dimension I'm in or what you're like, and I'd like to get to know you the way I got know her."

(It's rather eloquent for Anakin. He got Obi-Wan to help him draft up the script for when he pitched taking on omegaverse Ahsoka as a padawan.)

Anakin gets a more intensely sexual heat than 'usual' at one point for Reasons (IDK it could be as innocuous as 'we got better food than the usual rations and my body is reacting to the higher fat content with the belief that it's safer to have a baby now'), which nobody takes a whole lot of notice of because they're in a WAR, and also this is only his fourth one so it's not like he's got a lot to compare it to... except then the predominantly alpha clones can't stop themselves from reacting to the pheromones, mostly by wandering past his door and asking if he needs anything, offering up alpha-scented blankets and stuff for the nest to soothe the hormones, bringing snacks and electrolyte drinks, and like, Anakin is flattered, really, but fuck off please.

(He got a warning from medical a few hours before it hit that it would be different, so he actually does have alpha-scented fabrics to help him out. Apparently that's a thing you can just ask friends for, so he asked Rex if he had anything on hand that he could spare. He now has one of Rex’s recently-used sheets and a bodyglove in the nest.)

(Anakin has no idea how to feel about the nesting instinct, but at least it’s warm.)

Tia asked "Oh hey, who has the scared and horny reaction to his carnage?" and like.

Listen. I'm not saying I've been low-key imagining this as Rex being a very subby alpha who's really into Anakin's whole Thing but...

At one point Anakin gets injured in a way that requires painkillers and he ends up whining to the point of almost crying about the fact that nobody is cuddling him right now in medbay and Kix just gives up and comms Ahsoka to come hug her weird older brother.

And Then There Is Purring.

That’s a Thing Now.

Rex ends up in the pile somehow. He came over to check on Things and ended up yanked in by half-asleep, half-high Anakin, who has a grip like an octopus and no impulse control and is purring like a pod motor while NUZZLING HIM.

There’s a lot of blackmail photos featuring Rex’s very intense blush as he’s cuddled by his commander (giggling at him) and general (clinging like a tooka and rubbing himself all over).

Anakin is deeply offended that ANYONE thinks he'd want to get pregnant by just any old person, NO he needs to fall in LOVE there needs to be EMOTIONAL DRAMA and if Padme won't have him (apparently she's in a relationship and no he's not BITTER) then he'll find someone else to have a whirlwind romance with!

People think Anakin's a slut because he can't control his pheromone production (he has NO practice and for health reasons he can't go on suppressants) so he always smells open and ready for flirtations, which Obi-Wan also has to a somewhat lesser degree (he's older so his body just naturally produces less), and then someone tries to cross a boundary and grabs his ass and ANYWAY Anakin has to now fill out an incident report for breaking a civilian's arm.

Again.

[otakusheep15]

Mind if we get s Headcanon/funny write of MC Playing the Trombone while following the demon brothers on there daily bases or waking them up with the instrument xD

https://youtube.com/shorts/WkYrnB7AUFY?feature=share

First of all, that video made me laugh more than it should have. Secondly, this entire scenario is just beautiful.

MC Following the Brothers with a Trombone

Lucifer

The man wants you dead

Seriously, he does not have time for this

He already has to deal with his brothers and whatever they get up to, and now he has to deal with you and your infuriating trombone

Look, he loves you so much and he values you greatly, but he will kick you out of the house

He especially hates it when you do sound effects to imitate his movements

That will be the final straw

He's already packing your bags for you

Where will you go? He does not know nor care, but hopefully it's soundproof

Mammon

He liked it for a second, but now he's over it

If you were doing it to one of his brothers, he'll be laughing the whole time and might even join you

But if you do it to him, he'll be super pissed off

Locks you out of his room and refuses to go anywhere he thinks you might be

Considers filing a restraining order at one point but decides the hassle isn't worth it

Instead, he complains to Lucifer who just kinda tells him to deal with it on his own

He would kick you out the house, but only Luci has that authority

Leviathan

Bitch, you cannot tell me he wasn't already prepared for this

He's got the noise cancellation headphones, his game set to full-volume, and he's completely barricaded his door

There is no possible way for you to disrupt him with your trombone nonsense

However, he does think it's funny when you go after his brothers

Might give you song recommendations to play at them in trade for you to leave him alone

If you do somehow manage to get to him, he is leaving

He's renting his own place on the other side of the Devildom and filing several restraining orders against you

He just wants to be alone without all of this chaos

Satan

He is not afraid to kill you at this point

Literally does not care how much trouble he could get in for killing the exchange student, he just wants to stop suffering

Mans already has zero patients left to begin with and you are driving him into the negatives

You're higher on his list than Lucifer at this point, which is honestly a huge accomplishment

However, you won't have much time to celebrate when he's on the verge of shoving your trombone down your throat

Only accepts it if you're using it to torment Lucifer, but that's it

Asmodeus

Look, you are his precious human and he loves you very much

But he will not hesitate to kill you right now

You dare to interrupt his beauty sleep and expect no consequence?

As much as he'd hate to ruin his nails, he's not above getting violent when his beauty routine is on the line

He also probably would have found it funny at first, but that was only the first two seconds

Now he feels nothing but pure rage and bloodlust at the mere mention of a trombone

Will not hesitate to rip that thing in half, and he could do so very easily

Also straight up leaves the house and just goes to live with a friend until you stop

Beelzebub

He's mostly just confused tbh

Is this some weird human tradition? What is the purpose?

But even he isn't completely unaffected either

He will get annoyed with you and ask you to stop, but it's not likely that he'll get as mad as his brothers

If he does get to that level, run

Don't question it, just run

Tries to understand why you have a trombone and why you use it like this

Will offer better hobbies as a solution in order to get you to stop

Only gets super annoyed/upset when he sees his brothers getting irritated with you

Belphegor

Wants to kill you again

Yeah, he feels bad for the first time, but he'd have no regrets now

You interrupt his naps, you pay the price

Simple as that tbh

He will threaten multiple times to break the trombone

Probably commits to it as well and snapps that thing in two

He's very unhinged, idk what you were expecting at this point

Will do anything to preserve the sanctity of his naps

Also only finds it funny if it's Lucifer exclusive

[tobi-smp]

it’s still the tommy-apologist holiday here in the states, so let me say something controversial:

doomsday wasn’t a mutual betrayal between technoblade and tommy, technoblade’s feelings were hurt and he has the right to feel that way but he was the one that had been overstepping tommy’s boundaries from the beginning and got hurt when tommy tried to pull himself back.

tommy only agreed to an alliance on the condition that they’d be causing “minor” terrorism in l’manberg, that l’manberg Wouldn’t get destroyed and that tubbo wouldn’t be hurt, which tommy reinforced multiple times. technoblade intentionally let him believe in that lie when he had no intention of upholding those terms because he Specifically wanted to change tommy’s morals to the point that he’d eventually agree with it. techno may have done this because he genuinely thought that it’d be a good thing for tommy, but it wasn’t his right or his Place to decide that he could do that, especially as time went on and he realized how unstable tommy currently was ("Oh my god, you just have no freewill whatsoever." - technoblade to tommy during dream’s first surprise visit to techno’s house).

technoblade revealed that he’d been lying to tommy about this this entire time, which tommy would’ve had the right to get angry with him about. again, I cannot stress enough that this is technoblade revealing that he’d lied to tommy and had been using tommy to help him get ready to destroy his home, whether technoblade actually needed tommy’s help or not is irrelevant because this makes tommy complicit and changes the entire circumstances around their partnership. This was an actual act of betrayal, the betrayal of tommy’s trust.

it didn’t go that way however, because techno Did successfully manipulate tommy here (and it is manipulation, whether we want to think of it that way or not). techno presented l’manberg in a purely negative light (insisting that tubbo specifically was a bad person who’d never been tommy’s friend), he encouraged tommy’s more violent coping mechanisms, and then when he thought tommy was far enough along he revealed what he’d wanted to do while insisting that he Trusted tommy now and holding the idea of genuine friendship over his head. (”You could actually be useful. You could actually be, dare I say it, a friend.” “That’s all I ever wanted.”)

none of this means that techno didn’t genuinely like tommy or that he wasn’t genuinely trying to look out for him, but tommy was blatantly coerced into joining techno’s cause here when it’d been explicitly against his boundaries. tommy Never wanted to destroy l’manberg, he wanted a relationship that he felt safe and wanted in, he wanted to be happy. techno presented himself as someone who cared about tommy, and then he presented tommy helping him destroy l’manberg as the key to his friendship when he was literally the only person that tommy had (and had made sure to emphasize that). of course tommy agreed.

tommy had tried to convince himself that he was okay with techno’s plans, but as soon as he’d genuinely hurt tubbo that illusion was shattered. he realized then and there that on a moral And emotional level he could not stand to see tubbo hurt without seeing himself as a monster. tommy’s reaction here was inward when it so easily could’ve been outward, could’ve been outward anger at the man who railroaded him into this situation despite his wishes, and it just wasn’t.

at this moment tommy Still trusted techno, he was honest with techno immediately and was Clearly having a breakdown. techno’s reaction was immediately the offensive (asking tommy if he “really wants to do this” doesn’t count as giving tommy a fair chance, especially when techno has Seen and talked tommy down from his panic attacks before), tommy was immediately Dead to him while Tommy was still willing to make a compromise (tommy thought that techno would be receptive to a compromise because he’d been tricked into thinking he was getting one before, but he wasn’t and techno would never settle for that).

techno presented himself as someone that tommy could trust and rely on (and particularly as someone who’d be patient with him during his breakdowns, which the confrontation at the community house definitely was), that’s Why tommy was honest with him and Why he’d felt comfortable enough with him to say how he felt in plain words as best as he could (compare “I’m worse than everyone I never wanted to be” to “Wilbur wasn’t so poggers” and it’s immediately obvious what I mean). On Top Of techno (falsely) presenting tommy’s participation as a choice, he’d already made tommy participate by getting tommy to help with the preparations before telling tommy the truth about what they’d been preparing for, tommy had already been complicit before he could make an informed choice. it also goes without saying that techno immediately partnered with dream with no remorse. that’s strike two and three of betraying tommy’s trust.

tommy had been trying to reach techno all throughout doomsday, it wasn’t until it was over that tommy had been completely disillusioned with techno. his conclusion was that techno had Never been his friend because he could not imagine someone who cared about him ever reacting to that situation the way that techno did or hurting someone who He cared about in the way that techno did.

and even then, even despite all of that, tommy Still cares about him even if he Does genuinely still believe that technoblade never cared about him.

when you actually look at the situation it’s technoblade tricking a traumatized teen into helping him destroy something that techno knew was important to him while further straining tommy’s relationships with people that techno knew he still cared about (by intentionally withholding information) and then getting so explosively angry when tommy tried to pull back that he made him the main focus of doomsday despite the people who tried to literally murder him also being there.

tommy hurt techno by deciding that he couldn’t let him hurt his best friend or destroy his country without severely damaging his own mental health and self worth After he’d made it clear that this was a moral boundary for him.

that’s not mutual at all, there is literally nothing even about their actions towards each other or the power between their dynamic. they were Mutually upset, they were not Mutually betrayed.

[merakiui]

Hello! :D May I request hc’s with scaramouche, childe, and diluc with a s/o who was abused so much they became broken, so the boiz fix her? If you don’t want to I completely understand, and thank you for your time :D ^^

Scaramouche, Childe, and Diluc with an S/O who was Abused

cw: mentions of past abuse + emotional trauma (disclaimer: a relationship will not necessarily fix or help any problems you may have! sometimes it’s better to heal and improve on your own before you seek a relationship of any kind. but everyone deserves to be loved regardless!) if the disclaimer above is confusing, please refer to this post.

⚡ Scaramouche ⚡

You’ve suffered a lot in the past, having finally escaped the abusive situation between you and your abuser. It was vicious and thus left you traumatized in many ways.

Even though it’s been years since, you still have moments where you’re taken back to endless beatings and manipulation that had you clinging onto every thread of sanity left. It was painful, and you’re eternally grateful you now have a caring partner to help you overcome these terrible memories.

But due to the trauma of so much abuse, you’ve become somewhat emotionless. It's not like you can’t feel any emotions; you just choose to blot them out of existence in order to stay level-headed.

Despite his temperament, Scaramouche is very patient with you. He never raises his voice and he makes sure that everyone around you acts civil and kind. Anyone who so much as triggers your trauma will be dealt with swiftly and quietly.

When you slip back into those difficult memories, he’s there to pull you out. Throughout the process, his tone is soft and he gives you as much space as you need to calm down.

Scaramouche talks you through the process, explaining that it’s just you and him and that no one can hurt you. He’s there for you. He’ll never leave you. Those short sentences are what helps you come back down to Earth.

Once you’ve successfully calmed down, he’ll ask if you’d like to lie down or if you need some water and a snack. He’ll have it all prepared for you. All you have to do is ask and he’ll send someone to get whatever it is you need.

He wants you to know that you should never blame yourself. The abuse you suffered in the past is not your fault and you deserve to feel only happiness and love right now. No matter what happens, you find solace in the fact that he’ll always be there to assist you when the days become murky.

💧 Childe 💧

Childe is a naturally affectionate person. He has a big family, after all, so he tends to shower the person he loves in his own version of affection. This can range from hugs to endless kisses to cute remarks.

When he first learned of your past abuse, he was ready to give you even more affection than before to help chase away any negative thoughts. And he was ready to tear into the horrible person who dared to make your life miserable and painful. He’s very good at putting a smile on your face, and whenever it seems like you can’t smile he’s there to wear a grin in your place.

Childe won’t do anything that might trigger your trauma, as he doesn’t want to stress you out. If it looks like you might have a panic attack from too much thinking, he’ll open his arms and offer to hold you tight until the fright goes away. Or he’ll give you your distance. Once your fight or flight response eases up, he’ll talk to you softly, asking if you need anything or if you’d like to just remain in his arms for a little while longer.

It’s difficult for you to express yourself without fearing consequence, so Childe will be very patient. He doesn’t force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable and he always encourages you to speak your mind.

If anyone hurts you, they better be prepared to have a conversation with Childe. He’s not going to tolerate anyone who messes with you.

Childe will give you lots of affection if you’re feeling down. He’ll spend his time cuddling with you in hopes of chasing away any bad thoughts you might have.

He can’t imagine why anyone would ever want to hurt someone as precious as you, and he loathes the person who abused you. If it weren’t for your objections, he might just track them down and give them true hell.

But as long as you’re working towards happiness—now far away from your past and abuser—he’s glad to be there to offer his support and endless love.

🔥 Diluc 🔥

Diluc has helped you through your fair share of panic attacks and nightmares many times; he has a soothing voice of reason that blots out the scary memories from your past.

When Diluc first learned of your trauma, he was very upset. It hurt him to think about that scummy person who dared to abuse you, and he does everything he can to keep your relationship fun and comfortable. In the back of his mind, he worries he’ll do something that might trigger a bad memory, so he makes plans with caution.

Usually his comforting gestures come in many forms: relaxing cuddles, a good meal, and even a nice walk around the winery, his hand holding yours. When you’re with him, he makes sure you won’t think about your abusive past.

Diluc is surprisingly very soft when he consoles you. His voice is firm and gentle at the same time, promising you that you won’t ever have to suffer again and that he’ll always be here to protect you.

He doesn’t force you to do anything that’ll leave you mentally exhausted and you’ll be reminded that it’s okay to not do anything for a day or two. You deserve to relax your mind every now and then, and if lying in bed helps with that you should be able to do it without worry! As long as you aren’t neglecting your physical health and hygiene, he’s fine with it.

No matter what happens, Diluc is always patient and gentle with you. He would never yell or say anything remotely hurtful because he knows it will bring up unpleasant thoughts and memories. Rather than that, he patiently helps you sort through your emotions and he encourages you to speak everything that’s on your mind. You’ll never be reprimanded for sharing your thoughts.

Diluc can often tell when you’re having a rough day, so he’ll give all of his care and attention to you. There are little things he does to cheer you up, such as getting your favorite sweets, gifting you the softest pillows and blankets for when you nap, and giving advice as he listens to your rants.

Sometimes you’ll have trouble sleeping because of a scary dream or a harsh memory. Whenever that happens, Diluc will remain at your bedside as he waits for you to fall asleep, sometimes humming or telling a nice story to lull you to sleep. And once you’re calm, he’ll tell you how much he treasures you and that he’s always willing to help you when you’re feeling down. After all, you aren’t alone in this. He’s right there beside you.

[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝autistic S/O.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou ]

「Headcanons of Bakugou, Todoroki and Kirishima with an autistic S/O.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

♤ Bakugou will burn the whole world for you if he had to. Everyone thinks that this guy is just too loud, aggressive, and intense but he's the complete opposite with you. Of course, your first impression was that he was loud. Not to mentions, he kind of seemed like an asshole with all the name-calling and yelling he does every single time. Sometimes you think that he's just constantly angry no matter what. You avoided him as much as you could at first, not liking how loud he normally is. He's gotten into trouble for being too loud, scolded by his friends since it drew a negative reaction from you. And he actually tones down for your sake.

♤ As your boyfriend, he tries his hardest for you. He always plays it cool and confident to keep up his image but in reality, he's super worried about you. The first thing he does was to become a better person by learning about you and your autism. He doesn't want to corner you and ask you multiple questions, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. So he decides to do his research on autism. Some of his friends had caught him reading books about it and glancing at you occasionally. It ended up with him denying it but everyone was touched to know how much Bakugou cares about you.

♤ Stimming? Man, he's somehow happy to see you do it but he makes sure that you're not harming yourself. He loves it when you’re playing with his fingers but he's lowkey insecure of his hands because it can get sweaty at times. Bakugou may not be able to comfort you with words but his actions speak volumes. He gives the best hugs and lets you play with hands and hair whenever you feel a bit anxious. He helps you explore ways to stim and ended up buying a lot of things for you. But honestly, he likes it when you rely on him to calm your nerves instead of some inanimate object.

♤ This guy never shows interest when someone is talking to him unless it was something that concerned him but when it comes to you, he listens to everything. His friends always complained about how he only pays attention to you and no one else but really, it's a good thing that he only has eyes for you. You may talk constantly about specific things that interest you and be completely unaware that Bakugou might not have the same level of interest. But no, he lets you talk as long as you want, he finds it cute that you can talk so much despite having trouble with normal social interactions.

♤ Overprotective? He's definitely an overprotective boyfriend. He literally yells at others to keep it down when they're being a bit too loud. Bakugou always has this urge to protect you whenever you're outside together. There were very rare occasions where you go out on dates and he's always on alert. The moment he sees a huge crowd, he will steer you away from it and ensure that nothing gets in your way. He's really great at getting you out of situations that overwhelm you and he's surprisingly good at comforting you. All he wants is the best for you and to become the boyfriend you deserved.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

☆ A good boy who understands how you feel. Hate crowds and sudden loud noises that make you jump and cover your ears? Prefer being alone with very few people accompanying you? Having trouble communicating with people? Yep, Todoroki understands it all. This guy enjoys his time with you, he finds your presence comforting since you understood his feelings the best. You two will be sitting side by side just enjoying the silence and avoiding noisy situations. Todoroki is quiet by nature so you never have to worry about him raising his voice all of a sudden like the others.

☆ Super honest with his feelings and when it comes to initiating affection, he always asks for consent. Todoroki is usually blunt with his feelings and he's super patient with you. On the rare occasion you didn’t catch or understand what he was saying, he has no problem repeating and attempting to make things clearer for you. So you really never have to worry about Todoroki getting impatient with you. Really, this kid has the patience of God himself, it makes you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve him. That being said, Todoroki is still the better one at communicating compared to you so he's always the one taking orders during dates.

☆ Consent is super important to him, this guy is deprived of touch for so long. His mother was out of the picture for quite a long time and his father was not the type to dote on him so you get the point. He always asks for consent before touching you. His touch is always gentle and cautious as if one wrong move will trigger you. He just loves it when he holds your hand, you instantly intertwine your fingers with his. He finds it cute how you would swing your hands while you both walk together. He likes it when you get all nervous when he asked if he could kiss you.

☆ Oh my god, this boy will get so flustered if you stim by toying with his fingers. You're just too adorable for him when you happy stim, it tugs his heartstrings. He tries to learn more about autism together with you, thinking of it as a way to communicate with you and to get to know you even better. But of course, there were things that he couldn't learn from you, he decides to read more on the internet or even ask his friends. When you stress or panic stim, he stresses and panics too. He's just so afraid that you might end up hurting yourself and feels very upset that you are feeling this way. He gives you the warmest hug and tries to calm you down.

☆ When you're info-dumping ― Todoroki likes that call it likes that ― you always pull him down to sit next to you. Todoroki can actually sense when this is going to happen and often brings you to his or your room. The two of you will sit side by side as you go on and on about whatever. Todoroki might not really know what you were talking about at first but he's listening to everything. He might not catch most of what you were saying but just seeing you look so enthusiastic and smiley is enough to make him smile. Overall, your relationship with Shouto is made of understanding each other, patience and trust. You both are a match made in heaven.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

♡ Kirishima knows that he can be loud sometimes but he's nothing compared to Bakugou's volume of course. He's naturally friendly and cheerful so his voice can get a bit loud sometimes. Feels super guilty and apologetic when he notices that his loud voice made you uncomfortable. He will lower down his volume whenever he's with you, keeps his distance, and ensure that you don't feel pressured at all. Doesn't hesitate to tell people around to quiet down in your presence, he knows that his group of friends can get a bit noisy. He wants you to get along with his friends and as much as he loves his friends, he cares about your well-being. Plus, his friends are nice and they understood your situation.

♡ Always has his eyes on you, like all the time! Even Aizawa has ratted him out for staring at you too much in class. But this is because he worries about you. He will fight anyone who dares to disrespect or make fun of you in any way. He never forces you to go out on dates with him. This boy is content on staying indoors, enjoy a good movie and snacks with you. But when he goes out with you, he orders food for you and asks things on your behalf. Basically, he does all the talking for you especially knowing how nervous you get. It's as if he's your father or something. Kirishima is more of an overprotective dad than a boyfriend at this point.

♡ This guy is big on affection. Though he’s really touchy, he never really initiates anything first. He knows that you sometimes have trouble showing affection back and can get a little jumpy when he just hugs you out of the blue. Kirishima has his own way of telling that he has your consent, he's been with you for quite a long time so there were the signs. Things like when your pinky brushes against his, you want to hold his hand. When you scoot a bit closer while you're both sitting side by side, you want to cuddle. This boy never forces you out of your comfort zone because he prioritizes your well-being.

♡ He doesn't really get it when you're stimming at first, he had questioned your behavior once and you told him how you're doing this to calm your nerves. Kirishima eventually finds the little things you quite cute. He slowly learns what stims you like to do when you're uncomfortable and he will be there by your side doing it with you in hopes of making you feel better. He never cared what kind of things you like to do. You were always repetitive, you always suggested the same movie and anime to watch, he was fine with it. You wanna eat [Favorite Food] again? Go to that little cafe that serves [Favorite Drink] every weekend? He's all for it.

♡ You want to talk about potatoes for over an hour? Hope you don't mind him doing other stuff at the same time. He loves listening to you while he does something else. Most of the time, he would be working out or something while you ramble about something. Different from Bakugou and Todoroki, Kirishima is more of a reactive listener. He shows genuine interest in what you're talking about. He will try to get into all the things you like because he wants to be able to talk to you about it ― plus he can see you look so excited and all cute.

Total: 1739 words Published: 25.07.2021

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are closed! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: sorry for the wait yall this month really kicked my ass,, but also we reached part 20!!

tw infertility discussion

***

Gwyn: isn’t he beautiful <3

In the freezing February air outside the tea house, Nesta clicks on the picture attached to Gwyn’s text. It’s a distant shot of a man in his mid-thirties hunched over a library desk while working, unaware that there’s a camera on him. She’ll give it to Gwyn, though—he is a little handsome.

Emerie: the stalker levels are through the roof, gwyneth. seek help.

Gwyn: no i’m gonna marry him

Nesta doesn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned, but she types out a brief response before her thumbs fall off from the cold: Will give my opinion on him later. Got to go.

Gwyn’s crush will have to wait, Nesta thinks as she finally puts her phone away and pushes her way inside the exquisite tea house. Immediately, blasting heat thaws her frozen fingers and toes, and farther inside she spots the table she reserved for three. Right now, only one person sits at it.

Nesta grits her teeth and approaches the round table, heels clicking softly on the parquet floors. Elain doesn’t look up from the menu she’s reading. “This place would be nicer to visit in the spring,” is her only acknowledgment of Nesta.

“I like the winter,” Nesta answers simply, taking her seat across from Elain. She likes how the ice creeps over the garden outside until everything looks frozen in time, and she likes how the colorful flowers and trees become dulled by white snow. Not that her sister would understand or care.

“Of course you do,” Elain mutters, setting down the menu with all the careful elegance of a debutante. “I’m only here for Feyre, anyway.”

It almost saddens Nesta that she doesn’t feel hurt or offense at the words. She thought she would care more about Elain’s opinion than she actually does. “Where is Feyre, then?” she says, looking pointedly at the empty seat between them. “I thought she was coming with you.”

“I’m right here,” a breathless voice says, accompanied by the sound of hurried footsteps. Feyre appears, looking flushed from exertion and the cold. She sets her bag down and joins them at the table, scooting her seat all the way in. “Sorry I’m late. What did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Nesta bites. “I was just about to order.”

“So was I.” Elain smiles breezily.

Feyre glances between the two of them, clear concern on her face, but she covers it up and says, “I’m so glad we’re doing this.”

It was Feyre’s idea, of course. After Nesta told her off for never being interested in what she wanted to do, Feyre actually listened. She asked if Nesta wanted to hang out, and then let Nesta fill in the rest of the details on her own terms.

Which brings them to the tea house. Unfortunately for her sisters, however, Nesta doesn’t really know where to go from ordering tea and biscuits.

“How is school going?” Feyre asks her after their drinks arrive.

Nesta sips from her tea, already bored. “It’s been fifteen minutes and you have yet to say anything of substance, Feyre. It makes me miss being alone with Elain and her mood.”

Feyre looks taken aback, and Elain levels a glare at Nesta. An unsurprised, of course you have to ruin everything like this glare.

So Nesta clarifies, “That wasn’t an attack. I just hoped that after driving out here, I would get something better than shallow small talk.”

“And how do you know it was shallow?” Elain steps in harshly. “How do you know she isn’t actually interested in how you’re doing at school?”

Nesta slides blunt blue eyes to Feyre. “If that’s the case, then I commend you. Personally, I wouldn’t give a shit if I was in your position.”

To her surprise, Feyre snorts. She looks resigned when she says, “No, you’re right. I don’t care about what’s going on at school, not if you don’t. What would you rather we talk about then, Nesta?”

Without hesitation, Nesta says, “Ask me something you really care to hear the answer to.”

Elain shuts her mouth and sits back at that. Feyre twists her lips, thinking her next words over carefully. “How is your therapy going?” she finally asks in a cautious tone. “What do you talk about there?”

Remembering that she’s in a formal setting, Nesta stops herself from crossing her arms. She settles on wrapping her fingers delicately around her teacup instead. “We talk about whatever I feel like talking about,” she answers honestly. Although lately her conversations with Lana feel more restrained than usual.

“And what’s that?” Feyre urges.

Nesta shrugs, fitting apathy onto her face like an old mask. “Recently? Childbearing.” But it isn’t her favorite topic of discussion, not at all.

“You’re pregnant?” Elain jumps in, leading Nesta to throw her an unamused look.

“No, idiot,” she says. “My therapist just has the idea that if I end up being infertile it’ll screw me up, mentally and emotionally and whatever. She thinks I should deal with that baggage now instead of saving it for later.” She rolls her eyes thinking about it. How many times does she have to repeat that she doesn’t care about her body’s reproductive abilities until Lana gets it?

Feyre chuckles, confused. “Why would you be infertile?”

Nesta forgot—she didn’t want her sisters knowing anything that has to do with her health. She even made Cassian keep her doctor visits secret from Feyre. But that was months ago, and the sisters are… not exactly in a better place now, but looking for the way there. Nesta thinks she can tell them without any severe regrets. “I have endometriosis.”

When she’s met with silence, she adds, “You know, with the tissue growing on my ovaries and stuff. It might affect all the babies I don’t care to have in the future.”

Elain is the first to speak. “You always wanted to be a mother.” Her voice is soft, almost mourning. It irritates the hell out of Nesta.

“No, I didn’t,” she snaps back.

“You did,” Elain insists. Feyre still hasn’t said anything. “You took care of our cat, Mittens, until the day she died. You taught Feyre her alphabet. You raised me when Mama and Papa were too busy to do it. You never carried dolls around in strollers or anything, but you loved being a mother.”

“I don’t remember any of this,” Feyre says, blinking. “I’m sorry, can we go back to the endometriosis part?”

Nesta sips from her tea, the bitter taste a welcome distraction from Elain’s words. “What about it?”

“How long have you known?” Feyre demands.

“It isn’t cancer. And I’m getting treated, obviously. I’m fine.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Nesta sighs, setting her cup down. “October. Cassian made me go to the doctor because he was worried about my periods, we had a big fight about health insurance, and now I use my salary from your boyfriend to afford medication so I don’t feel like dying every month. Is that everything you wanted to hear?”

Feyre only stares at her, for once revealing no emotion. “I keep forgetting,” she says finally, “that we’re not at a place to share things like that with each other. I keep being surprised every time I realize how much of your life you keep from us.”

“I don’t,” Elain huffs under her breath while she tears a croissant in half.

Nesta is still watching Feyre. “You remember how bad my cycles were? I would cry loud enough at night to wake the house.”

Feyre flinches at the memory, and Elain goes still.

“But no one ever woke up,” Nesta says. They never talked about it before, and she has no desire to keep speaking about it now. If they start to tally all the hurts they’ve dealt to each other, Nesta fears they’ll be here for hours. Worse, she fears she will lose.

She reaches for a lavender macaron and delicately pulls it apart, studying the cream filling inside. “Did you know they make these using the lavender flowers from the garden outside?”

“I hate lavender,” Elain says.

Spying her chance to shift the subject off herself, Nesta goes for it. “Because Azriel smells like lavender?” She pushes one half of the dainty cookie past her lips, chewing. “It’s an interesting cologne choice, I agree.”

“Wait, what are we talking about now?” Feyre looks around, unaware that they’ve moved onto another topic.

Elain’s innocent brown eyes turn into daggers pointed at Nesta, betrayal written across her face. Nesta feels no pity for her—especially not if they’re going to sit around judging each other for keeping secrets.

Feyre’s eyes widen and she turns to Elain. “Is it about your,” she lowers her voice and whispers, “crush?”

Nesta raises a skeptical brow. She doubts whatever Az and Elain have stops at just a crush.

“No, it’s not,” Elain answers determinedly. “God, do you have to bring men into everything, Nesta?”

“I think you’re projecting.”

“Quit it,” Feyre snaps at the both of them. “Or I’ll grab my things and leave.”

Do it, Nesta almost dares. But she has a feeling that Feyre means it, that she won’t submit to being taunted, so Nesta reins the words back from the tip of her tongue. After all, this tea is expensive.

The sisters take a moment to settle, and Feyre is the one to restart the conversation. “Either way,” she tells Nesta, “it looks like counseling is going really well for you. I’m glad.”

“Yeah, it really gives your skin a certain glow,” Elain drawls.

Nesta doesn’t rise to meet her sarcasm. In all seriousness, Elain and Feyre could probably use a therapist themselves. It might make Nesta’s interactions with them less headache-inducing.

“You should visit one day,” she throws the suggestion out without thinking.

“What, like a therapy session?” Feyre says.

Realizing the implications of her terrible idea, Nesta forces herself not to backpedal. “Yes,” she makes herself grit out. “If you’re interested, that is.”

Elain and Feyre share a glance of hesitation and concern. It’s a glance that grates on Nesta’s nerves, but she keeps her mouth shut and waits for a response.

Feyre answers first: “We’ll do it.”

Elain looks more doubtful, but seems to realize that refusing to go would paint her in a negative light. We can’t have that, can we? Nesta thinks wryly. She reaches for some macarons and starts stuffing them into her purse. “Sounds good. Great.” It is not at all great. Having her sisters in the same room as her and Lana might just be terrible enough to ruin Nesta’s next month or two.

“I’ll text you the details whenever I feel like it,” she tells Feyre and Elain as she rises out of her seat. Likely not for as long as possible.

“Where are you going?” Elain demands.

“I’m leaving.” Nesta pointedly drapes her coat over her shoulders, picking up her purse. “I have plans for the rest of the day, sorry.” Plans to get home and rate Gwyn’s work crush on a scale of one to ten. Maybe she’ll rewatch a sitcom if she has time.

“But it’s only been an hour,” Feyre protests.

Did Feyre think they would be spending the whole day together? Nesta wants to shudder at the mere idea of it, but she somehow… feels bad for her sister. “Maybe another time,” she promises vaguely. To provide some sort of reassurance, she adds, “I had fun today. Thanks for pulling this together.” The words are hollow, fake, and she’s probably a hypocrite for not being able to return the same sincerity she demanded from Feyre. But honesty isn’t going to get Nesta very far today, so this false politeness is the best she can manage.

Elain looks somewhat relieved, and Feyre looks disappointed but unsurprised. “Alright.” The girls nod at her. “Get home safe.”

She turns and leaves as soon as she’s given the green light.

A stale scent greets Nesta when she enters her apartment, reminding her that she hasn’t been around in days. In her defense, the winter months are easier to bear in Cassian’s heated cabin than in a poorly insulated basement.

Flicking the lights on, Nesta books it to the thermostat, her teeth nearly chattering out of her body. After turning the heat as high as it can go, she climbs beneath the covers of her bed without bothering to take her coat off. She doesn’t take out her phone to text the groupchat like she promised she would. She doesn’t even get her laptop to turn Netflix on. Rather, her focus is caught on the framed picture of her and Cassian sitting atop the dresser.

Everything was okay as she stepped out of the tea house. It wasn’t until she was inside her car that it came upon her: the whirlwind of emotions that had stayed so carefully hidden while she chatted with her sisters. All throughout the drive home, her mind kept returning to that one topic. Children.

Elain said that Nesta used to genuinely enjoy playing substitute mother when they were children, and she was right. But that was all fun and games, like playing teacher. What Elain left out was what happened after their actual mother died and their father went into debt, leaving all three girls in need of a parent figure. Nesta wasn’t a mother then—or at least, not a good one.

Now, she stares at the picture full of smiley cheeks and windblown hair, remembering the night that she realized she wanted to hold Cassian’s hand in hers.

She can’t imagine Cassian not wanting kids. They’ve never discussed it, but it’s so obvious to anyone who’s ever met him: he has too much love to give away to not one day end up with a whole brood of children. The thought makes Nesta’s stomach churn.

***

“Thanks again, guys.” Cassian shakes hands with his team as they file out of the conference room, all of them dressed professionally while he lingers in his hoodie. As soon as the last worker is out the door, he pulls out his phone, ready to shoot Nesta a message. She met up with her sisters alone today for the first time in a year, and he can’t wait any longer to find out if their brunch ended in a fight or not.

He clicks on his phone to find two texts from his brother, sent not too long ago.

Rhys: You’re in the office today for the monthly check-in, right?

Rhys: Don’t leave after the meeting is over. I’ll be there in an hour to introduce you to the new guy heading the Milan project.

Cassian frowns, confused. Rhys and the new guy are coming all the way up here to meet him? He didn’t know he was that important to the project.

While he waits for his unexpected guests, Cassian texts Nesta twice, and only receives a single short response saying she got home safe. Resolving to call and have a real conversation with her later, he gets up to change into the spare buttondown and pressed slacks he keeps in a locker in his office. If Rhys wants him to play the part of company boss, then he might as well look the part.

He’s adjusting the cuffs of his dark-colored shirt when the door to his office opens without warning, and Rhysand strides in followed by a stiff-looking young man.

Cassian eyes the stranger up and down first, trying to get a read on him the way he’s seen Nesta and Rhys read others. He doesn’t come up with a single thing, as usual, but he hopes he achieved his goal of looking intimidating.

“Cass,” Rhys greets him with a subdued nod, in full CEO mode. “This is our new hire, Keith O’Connell. I snagged him from right under Vanserra & Co.’s noses.” His near-violet eyes gleam with pride. “He’s going to be working out of Milan for us starting this summer.”

“Sounds good to me.” Cassian smiles lazily, and this is something he doesn’t need to fake—confidence. He reaches out to shake Keith’s hand. “Hi. I’m Cassian Madani.”

“Good to meet you.” The other man shakes back, but his grip is too tight, like he’s trying to break Cassian’s hand. Try-hard, a voice that sounds like Nesta tells him. Uses arrogance to cover up his insecurity.

Cassian takes it all into account as he pulls his hand away, seeing Keith through clearer eyes. His dark brown hair is slicked back with copious amounts of hair product, and a shrewd black gaze takes in every detail of the office. He stands like he’s attempting to seem taller than he actually is.

A typical white-collar worker looking for a way up the corporate ladder, Cassian concludes. Nothing he hasn’t seen before, but there must be a reason Rhys is so excited about him.

“Keith is starting here at your branch next week,” Rhys is saying when Cassian refocuses.

He blinks, unsure if he heard correctly. “What, all the way out here?” Away from Velaris in this modest mountain town?

“We agreed it was best if you two work together as closely as possible while preparing for the summer launch. Since you can’t come to Velaris, that means Keith comes here.”

Cassian looks at Rhys in astonishment. He thought that once he rejected the Milan position, he’d cleaned his hands of the job for good. Clearly he was wrong. “Just how involved am I going to be on this project?”

Rhys grins back at him. “You’ll lead from home base, of course.”

Cassian glares. Rhys responds with a look that says they’ll talk about this later.

Keith seems to find the idea of working alongside another person as distasteful as Cassian finds it unexpected, but he says anyway, “I can’t wait to start working together. I have a lot of ideas for the Italian outpost that I think you’ll appreciate.”

“I’m sure I will,” Cassian hums. “When do you start again?”

“Next Monday.”

“Then we should talk then.” Cassian gestures out the door. Keith looks taken aback, likely having expected more out of this meeting. But Cassian can’t meet with this guy until he gets a hold of what the fuck is going on. After shepherding Keith out of the office and shutting the door after him, he turns to Rhys with a raised brow.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Rhys warns. “Your role in this project is serious.”

“This project isn’t even part of my job description. What am I supposed to know about international business conductions?”

“You know enough to keep an eye on that O’Connell kid for me.” Rhys leans against Cassian’s desk as if it’s his own and crosses his feet. “He’s an asset to the company, but he also worked for our competitors up to a couple of months ago. I can’t trust him to manage this thing on his own, and I don’t have the time or resources right now to watch over him myself. That’s why the duty falls to you.”

“I manage security,” Cassian states, in case it wasn’t obvious. “What about Az?”

“Az has his own things to handle.” Rhys waves him off. “Just do what I tell you to, will you? Pay attention to O’Connell for the duration of the Italy venture and make sure he doesn’t steer our ship off course. You’ll get paid triple for the extra hours.”

“I don’t need triple,” Cassian grumbles, but Rhys is no longer listening. He’s typing on his phone and already heading for the door.

“Feyre and I are having dinner here before heading back home,” he calls over his shoulder. “See you later; I believe in you!” The door shuts after him, leaving Cassian alone.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replies to the empty room.

Cassian leaves not long after Rhysand does, having no excuse to linger. Outside, he’s greeted with a surprise leaning against the hood of his truck.

Nesta pushes off the hood as soon as he catches notice of her. “Long day?” she asks.

He laughs for the first time all afternoon, the sound surprised and genuine. “I was just thinking about you.”

“That’s why I’m here. I heard your thoughts.” There’s a light in her pale eyes that only burns whenever she looks at him. It’s the same light that powers her ability to make jokes and let her guard down around him in a way she can’t with most others, and Cassian is especially grateful for it today.

Nesta reaches out and takes his hand into hers. He watches the way their palms fit together in endless fascination, his brown fingers a stark contrast against her white ones. He squeezes once and looks back up at her. “How did meeting your sisters go? You never told me.”

The light flickers so briefly Cassian wonders if it’s a trick of his eyes. But then Nesta is there again, at full brightness. She squeezes his hand back. “Take me home. I’ll tell you all about it.”

***

a/n: i love writing stuff related to cassian’s job i’ll just be throwing random words in there and calling it business jargon

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog

[duskholland]

prompt idea if it vibes with you... frat!tom and y/n are close friends at a party and Tom accidentally drunkenly tells her how he feels about her. this could be followed by her making sure he gets home and sobers up and in the morning they talk abt it (smut could ensue, if the mood so strikes). wishing you good writing vibes 💞

no smut, just a lot of fluff! thank you for requesting--this concept makes me feel :’)) cw: alcohol

frat!tom !!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

You’ve never seen Tom this drunk before, and you have to admit, it’s quite cute.

There’s a rosy flush to his face, and his eyes are even warmer than usual. He’s incredibly affectionate, clinging to your arm like it’s his only lifeline, kissing your cheek every time there’s an opportunity to. It’s not that the gushing behaviour is unusual—Tom’s always been a flirt, for as long as you’ve known him—but you’ve never seen him act this enamoured. Not around you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You whisper into his ear.

Tom looks up at you, movements jerky and tired. You’re sitting beside him on the sofa. You’d been playing a game of truth or dare with the rest of the group, but they’d all scattered as soon as it finished. Now it’s just you and Tom, sitting side by side.

“Definitely,” he mumbles, voice slightly slurred. He yawns loudly, stretching out his arms and giggling when he accidentally hits your shoulder with a soft fist. “S’rry, love.”

You snort, reaching out to pat his arm. You’re tipsy, but you’re nowhere near as trashed as your friend appears to be. He curls into your touch, and you watch, smirking, as he collapses down over the sofa, stretching his legs out along the cushions as he rests his head in your lap. Your fingers move up to find home in his hair, and you stroke his strands softly as he moans.

“God, that feels good,” Tom whines. His eyes flutter shut and you continue to massage his scalp, tugging lightly on his hair when you figure out he likes a bit of pressure. “Fuck… I love you.”

You chuckle, leaning down to gently kiss his forehead. “Love you too,” you reply.

Tom’s eyes shoot open, and his jaw falls slack as he blinks. “Do you?”

A confused smile finds your face as you nod. “Yeah. You’re one of my best friends, Tom.”

A line forms between his brows. “No, no, that’s not… I didn’t mean it like that.” His nose scrunches up as he pouts, and Tom reaches up to grab your hands. He grasps your fingers firmly and stares into your eyes. “I love you.”

You tilt your head to the side, suddenly feeling a little light headed.

“I love you?” You try again.

Tom chuckles, eyes flickering down to your hands intertwined with his. He clumsily kisses your knuckles before sighing.

“I’m in love with you,” he repeats, voice slanted. “‘M too much of a coward to tell you when I’m sober, but I guess it’s easier when I’m fucked.” He glances up at you, seeming nervous. “It’s um… it’s fine if you don’t feel the same or—“

All of a sudden, Tom breaks off, and he goes very still as he groans. His cheeks pale, and you startle when he sits up suddenly, looking around, startled.

“Don’t be sick,” you warn, heart beating rapidly in your chest. You reach out to the table beside you and pick up your bottle of water, flicking open the cap and passing it into his hands.

Tom downs it quickly, and you soothe your hand over his back as you try to make sense of his confession. You want to believe him—fuck, you’ve been in love with him since the moment you met him—but you also watched him down four shots in a row and do a keg stand, so you don’t know how much you trust his woozy words.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, wiping at his mouth as he passes back the bottle. Tom goes to lie down again, but you gently coax him back up.

“I’m taking you upstairs,” you decide, after a quick glance at his watch to confirm it’s gone three.

Tom pouts, but it’s quick to disappear as you stand

and carefully pull him up with you. “Wait, are you coming too?”

“Yeah. I don’t trust you to climb all those stairs without me.”

He wiggles his eyebrows, slumping against you as you slowly lead him towards the grand staircase.

“If you want to come into my bedroom, you could just come out and say it,” he slurs. “No need to tease, baby.”

You scoff. “How are you still such a flirt when you’re drunk?”

“It’s in my DNA. I’m programmed to appreciate pretty things, and you, love…” He reaches up and boops your nose. “You’re very pretty.”

You decide you quite like Tom when he’s drunk like this—affectionate and loving.

“You’re cute,” you reply. You sigh contentedly as you finally finish dragging him up the stairs. “Go brush your teeth,” you urge, gesturing in the direction of the bathroom. You’re on the top level of the frat now, reserved for the members of admin. As president of the frat, Tom’s lucky enough to have his own room.

“Come with me,” he whines. He blinks at you with those warm brown eyes, and you find yourself melting.

It takes a while to get Tom ready for bed. First it’s his teeth, then you have to pull him out of his incredibly tight skinny jeans, then convince him to drink some water. By the time you’ve got him back into his room and into bed, he’s dead on his feet, and honestly, so are you.

“Sleep with me,” Tom mumbles, holding out his bare arms. He’s burrowed into his double bed, staring up at you with a boyish smirk on his face.

“I should probably go,” you say, sighing slightly.

“Please stay, Y/N.” His lips roll into a pout. “I want your cuddles. Promise I won’t do anything weird.”

You nod, as a quick balancing of positives versus negatives decides you’d much rather stay with Tom than trudge home in the rain.

After flipping off the lights and pulling off your outfit, you rummage through one of Tom’s drawers and find a large rugby shirt. You slip into it and tend to your makeup as best you can before collapsing into bed beside him, immediately finding his buff arms encircling your waist. Tom curls into you like a koala, and as you gently card your fingers through his hair, you’re reminded of his confession.

“Did you mean it?” You whisper.

“Hmm?”

You swallow. “Do you love me?”

Tom peels away from you, and even in the dark, you know he’s looking at you.

“Yeah,” he admits. “Had a crush on you ever since we were partnered together for that study group last semester. Tried to tell you a few times, but couldn’t ever get the words out right.” Tom sighs dramatically, and pulls you closer. “Jus’ don’t wanna lose you as a friend, Y/N… Would rather never tell you so you can’t reject me.”

You release a soft breath, then lean down to kiss the top of his curls.

“Go to sleep, Tom,” you mumble. “We can talk about it in the morning.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Night… love you.”

You hope that he’s speaking from the heart, and not from the blend of alcohols swirling through his system.

“Love you too.”

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

You’re woken by Tom, when he groans and swears and flings his arms around as he wakes up. When he accidentally bashes you in the side, you curse too, turning over and grumbling incoherently as you try to ignore the ache in your side and the pounding in your head.

“Y/N?” You hear him say, voice confused. “Why are you in my bed?” His words crack with fatigue, and Tom moans again. “Fuck, what did I drink last night? I can’t remember shit.”

You begrudgingly turn back over, the duvet rustling. Tom’s sitting up against the headboard now, glass of water in his hand, and you watch as he downs the pills you’d left out for him last night.

“You had way too much,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. “You wanted me to stay, so… I stayed.”

Tom hums, letting one of his hands come down to rest on the back of your head. His eyes skim your face and a gentle smile works out across his lips.

“You’re in my shirt,” he mumbles. “Looks nice on you.”

You bite back a smile, shrugging bashfully.

“Do you really not remember anything?”

Tom hesitates. He slowly puts the glass of water down before sighing, using that hand to ruffle up his hair.

“I remember bits,” he says. His eyes narrow. “Do you remember everything?”

You think for a moment before nodding. “Yeah.”

Tom nods, and you almost hear him swallow. “And… you’re still here.”

You smile softly. “Yeah.”

“So that means…”

“Yeah.”

He hums, and then reaches down to tug you upright. Despite your complaints at being pulled from the warm embrace of his duvet, you can’t find it in yourself to complain when Tom pulls you into his lap and wraps his arms around you. His eyes are slightly bloodshot, and his hair lies messily across his forehead, but you think he looks beautiful.

“I meant it,” he admits, voice soft. His fingers gently roll over your waist. “I mean, I would’ve liked to say it more, uh...eloquently, but… it’s true, Y/N. I love you.”

He seems to be holding his breath, and the sight of him so nervous makes your heart race. You reach up and wrap your hands around his neck, smiling as you bring him in for a very soft, gentle kiss. You feel him grin into it, and you realise this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

“I love you too, Tom,” you tell him.

“Oh.” He kisses you again, growing more confident as you pull yourself nearer and nestle further into his arms. “Really?”

“Mmm.” You let your fingers play with his hair as you hum, pressing your forehead to his and closing your eyes. “You’re really funny when you’re drunk.”

“I’m a disaster,” he complains. “‘M so hungover now, too.”

You hum in agreement, then pull back and yawn.

“Can we go back to sleep now?” You ask, drawing a chuckle from Tom.

“Fuck yeah,” he mutters. He pulls you down with him, and this time, it’s you that curls into him. He wraps you up in his arms and holds you close, kissing the top of your head with care. “Love you,” he chimes, and despite how unfamiliar the words are, they sound right, filling his accent like that.

You press a soft kiss to his chest, and let your eyes droop closed.

“Love you too.”

[foreficfandom]

Mystic Messenger - First Time With MC (Lemon)

(Author’s notes: These scenarios do NOT assume a gender for MC, but do write the boys penetrating the reader.)

– Zen –

This isn’t his first rodeo, but he’s not exactly experienced; he’s had, like, one-and-a-half relationships before you. It’s been years since he’s had partnered sex.

And he’s never had sex-ed, either, so his knowledge of the Nasty is kinda lacking. He thinks he can re-use condoms as long as he keeps it on, he believes coconut oil can be used with latex, he thinks birth control pills act as a spermicide, and so on.

You and him initiate sex pretty early on in the relationship, perhaps merely a few days after the RFA party. He’s very romantic about it, too, planning a whole day in advance with rose petals on the bed and scented candles dotting his room. But in the middle of making out, you ask if he’s clean, and he pulls back, confused. “... I think? I mean, I haven’t been with anybody in years, so ...”

Turns out he’s never been tested for STDs. He’s almost offended when you bring it up, like you’re insinuating he’s been cheating on you. You have to explain that getting tested is just what everyone does before having sex with someone for the first time. 

So ... he’s not tested. “Can we ... still do it?” He’s blushing like crazy now, embarrassed he’s so behind on the know-how when he’s the one who wanted this in the first place. 

Partnered sex can still be relatively safe even when an individual’s not been tested, so long as you use lots of protection. But depending on who you are, you might say no, just to be 100% safe. Either way, Zen’s disappointed - not in you, no way, but in himself. God, he’s been looking forward to this night for so long, and he fucked it up by being stupid. He stews in his thoughts silently for a while, and you can tell he’s feeling down so you cuddle him close to have a good long chat about sex, relationships, and communication. Afterwards, he feels much less insecure. The two of you take the rose petals and candles to the bathroom to enjoy your first romantic bath together, instead.

Two days later, he bounces back from the clinic with a negative on every test imaginable. It’s finally time to dig in, and go ham he does, passionately wrapping you into his arms while thrusting deep and slow, trying to have as much skin contact at all times. Oh, god, he loves you, and he’ll spend the whole night proving it.

(Except he definitely couldn’t last the whole night. Your first time having sex was a mere two turns before he clonked out. He’s still embarrassed about that.)

– Yoosung –

It’s his first time having sex, and he’s really nervous. He wants it, wants you badly, but oh my god what if he messes up? What if he farts? Or scratches you in the face? Or he thrusts weird and hurts you and you start bleeding or something?? Dear lord help him

He considers proposing sex like, eight different times. He’s always chickened out, just kissing you on the doorstep before saying goodbye, or letting you leave his dorm without offering to stay the night. It doesn’t help that his dorm is tiny, he’s got a twin bed barely big enough for him. And anybody passing by the door would hear what’s going on inside clear as day. Take his word on that.

He had spent several hours worth on his laptop, doing research on ‘how to have sex for the first time’. He’s got his list of positions to try, how to minimize pain and discomfort, etc, all memorized.. He eventually goes out to get condoms and lube, making sure to use the self-checkout. 

You and him are hanging out in his dorm after a date, and he wasn’t even planning to suck it up and ask you, but you saw the condoms in the shopping bag he forgot to stow away, and you asked him gently, “do you want to be intimate with me, Yoosung?”

He blushes like crazy, you could swear you saw steam lines radiating from his face. But you take his hand in encouragement and he nods eagerly, looking anywhere else but your eyes. “I - I really want this, MC. I’ve been thinking about this for so long ...”

You can tell he’s nervous. The two of you sit on his bed and talk explicitly about what he wants, how you should proceed, what lines to avoid, and lots of other important details. A safeword is confirmed; ‘server maintenance’. He feels much more confident. 

The two of you begin by just kissing on his bed, he slowly dares to feel up your shirt and eventually the clothes come off bit by bit. His body is lean and soft, and he’s loud, too. Just nipping at his pillowy tummy makes him cry out. 

You give him oral, and he’s twisting around, grabbing at pillows and sheets like he’s tumbling down a cliff. He comes without warning and collapses, wrung out and overwhelmed with pleasure. 

Some cuddling afterwards, and then he’s hard again and kissing at your neck. He asks you to ride him, and when you do, he’s sobbing without shame and grabbing hard at your hips.

Some time afterwards, when you and Yoosung are trying to cuddle on his bed without either of you toppling off, he remembers just how loud he’s been and dreads facing anybody in the building tomorrow. You just laugh and tuck him into the bedsheets.

– Jaehee –

She shyly shows off a beautiful new set of lingerie as her way of asking to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. And she’s a real bombshell in it. It’s sometimes easy to forget that Jaehee’s got a bod underneath her suit/cafe uniform.

Unlike certain younger boys, Jaehee didn’t feel the need to agonize over this night over a period of several months. This is a natural progression for her. Once things feel ready between the two of you, it’s natural that the question eventually comes up.

She first shows you her new lingerie in its original packaging, and waits to hear your ‘yes’. Then, it’s time to hop into the bathtub for a long soak and thorough wash before putting it on.

She also gets new toys. Entire shopping bags and shipping boxes filled with insertables, vibrators, pumps, impacts, (and also the supplies needed to maintain them). She didn’t come out and show you these all at once, she’d probably die of embarrassment if she did. But she had them all unwrapped, clean, tested, and ready to use in a discreet box.

You and she actually end up making out on the couch rather than the bedroom. She’s sitting in your lap dressed in her lingerie, you’re fully clothed, and things get so heated the two of you decide to go at it right there.

She’s surprisingly wild. She keeps as much of her lingerie on as possible, even while you’re knuckle deep or pelvis-to-pelvis. The floor is eventually lined with toys as one is used after the other. And she loves taking the initiative with a gentle but firm hand, directing the positions one after the other, or deciding what toy to be used where, and for how long.

A round on the couch, and Jaehee cools down long enough to freak out about staining the upholstery, so she ushers you into the bedroom while she busts out the Lysol. 

After she cleans up, she joins you on the bed for some belated cuddling, and perhaps a second round. Or three.

And it’s actually in the middle of the day, not during the night, so the two of you are completely worn out by dinnertime. Food is takeout, and there’s a lot of it because you need to replenish all that energy.  

Jaehee doesn’t get blushy until you feed her a bite of dessert. It’s cute how confident she is when it comes to sex, but shy about small acts of intimacy. 

– Jumin –

He’s not a virgin, (not that it’s any of your business, Luciel), he had sex with a random girl back in college just to see what the fuss was about, and nothing else since then.

Jumin’s a conservative guy. “Liberalism can only flourish with a good foundation of conservatism.” He believes unmarried couples shouldn’t live together. Of course he’s not gonna be fond of having sex before tying the knot.

It’s not like he rushed the engagement for that reason, but if he was perfectly honest, he did wake up in a cold sweat at 3am when he remembered that this meant the two of you would be intimate very soon. 

Jumin’s got that reputation for being some d/s sex-mad sadist daddy, but that’s not the full picture. You might be able to get him into that specific mood after the two of you establish your relationship more. But for the first few times, it’s all vanilla.

It takes a long while before the wedding actually happens. And, no, Jumin’s not gonna really want to have sex for that entire period. Sure, he’s excited about it, but it’s not a driving, burning need. You, on the other hand, might say differently. 

So if you don’t want to wait four to five months, you’re gonna have to breach the topic yourself. And he’ll be torn - on one hand, he rationally realizes that it’s completely harmless to have consensual sex without martial ties. But he also believes in that supposed virtue of being abstinent until marriage. He also liked the romance of waiting. It’d make the moment more special for him.

Either way, he’s excited. The bed’s furnished with fresh sheets, the lights are dimmed, and there’s five dozen roses in crystal vases throughout the bedroom. 

It’ll start with wine while sitting on the bed - if you don’t drink, you have a glass of something you prefer while he’s sipping on some $12,000 vintage - and he drills a hole in your face with his loving gaze while singing your virtues. He wants you naked before he is, so after some kissing you’ll be nude on the sheets while he finally takes his clothes off.

Jumin has no idea what sex is ‘supposed’ to look like, which is both good and bad - you can tell him to do anything, and he’s not gonna worry about feeling awkward or stupid. But he also needs to be told to do anything. 

If you want him to go faster, or use more tongue, you have to tell him. He’s not gonna take the initiative. If you want him to switch positions, you need to describe exactly how you want to position yourselves. It’s a mixed blessing.

The first round goes quite a while because Jumin was taking it slow. There’s a second round where he gets more adventurous, and maybe a third round depending on how you feel. 

The next morning, the chef’s been hired to prepare a special breakfast, and you can tell that they know. Jumin doesn’t care. He just smiles all day.

– Saeyoung –

He actually was a virgin, which was kinda a surprise. His agent job never require any sort of sex-related work, thank god, and it’s not like he ever earned the attention of anybody else before this point. 

If an agency job had enough time to have sex while in the field, then that meant the job was going down the dumps fast. And whenever Agent 707 was involved, a job never nosedived that far.

It’s (semi) canon that Saeyoung asked to be intimate during the after-ending, while on the search for his brother. It was the night before all your plans would come to fruition, and he didn’t know he would come back alive. “I want to leave evidence on you that I existed.”

But it’s ALSO canon that in Saeyoung’s ‘dark chocolate’ Valentine’s Day ending, he asks to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. Which implies that the two of you haven’t had sex yet. 

So what’s the dealio? Basically, Saeyoung wanted to have sex with you that night in the cabin, and after some kissing, you realized that you (1) didn’t have protection, (2) neither of you have been tested recently, and (3) your current emotional states weren’t ideal for sex, especially since Saeyoung was a virgin. He left a lot of hickies on your neck instead, and the two of you held each other close the whole night. 

By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, it had been two months since Saeran was rescued and Saeyoung was feeling a lot happier. You made it to the end of the scavenger hunt to find an amorous redhead that was ~prepared~ this time. An entire shopping bag full of prophylactics, lube, band-aids, water bottles, and everything. 

He managed to fake a confident persona up until he undressed you fully, then he found himself blushing like crazy when you undressed him in turn. Damn, he really was hiding muscles underneath that hoodie. His arms were woven cable, and underneath his pudge you could feel shapely abs. 

He asked to be on top, you complied, rolling over and allowing him to explore your body with his hands and mouth. It took three tries to enter you, because without his glasses, you were a bit of a blurry blob. But once he was in, he went at it. Maybe even a bit too enthusiastic for the first few thrusts, he was just running on some animalistic instinct he didn’t know he had. 

Two minutes later, he was blindsided by a surprise orgasm. Embarrassed, he rolled off of you and buried his face into the sheets. You had to stroke his hair soothingly for ten minutes before he would look you in the face. 

Saeyoung’s first evening of sex had one ‘disastrous’ first try, then a much better second run, and then after dinner there was a third ... and also .5 a prance while in the shower.  

– Saeran –

You’re his first sexual partner, but more than that, today also marks a big step in his self-confidence. He’s cashing in his newfound tolerance for his body and constitution. Saeran spent most of his life hating his ‘weak’ health and thinking anybody’d be repulsed by him. He wouldn’t have sex if he didn’t believe differently. 

So it’s probably several months - perhaps years - into your relationship that he even brings up having sex. Even though he may be ready, he’s still nervous and shy and unsure about how to proceed. 

Before the big night, he spends several minutes in front of the mirror, looking at his body. He’s gained weight and a new color to his skin thanks to his healthier lifestyle, and there’s this confidence to his posture that wasn’t there before. A sparkle in his eye. It’s incredible how far he’s come from hating every inch of himself. He smiles.

He prepares one of his Patented Saeran’s Romantic Dinners, complete with candlelight and ambient music. The two of you have done this several times before, but this time there’s an electricity in the air ‘cause of what’s to come. You notice that the food has no garlic, or other strong smells. Saeran’s more cunning than he looks. 

As dessert finishes up, he gets more quiet, until the conversation dies down and there’s nothing for it; he takes a deep breath and says, “....Sh-shall we go to bed?” Like this hasn’t been planned weeks in advance. The two of you walk hand-in-hand to the bedroom, where there’s even more candles and another stereo playing soft music, and you picture Saeran putting together a ‘having sex for the first time’ playlist.

You begin by kissing Saeran lying beneath you, but he stops you with a hand on your shoulder and asks to switch positions, because he doesn’t like the feeling of you hovering over him. It’s another mark of his progress that he asks for adjustments. 

Things progress slowly. Saeran feels out what makes him feel anxious, and what makes him feel good. The two of you end up side-by-side as he takes you, facing each other with your legs wrapped around his waist. Very intimate. Very sweet. He loves threading his fingers through your hair, and he mewls every time you fondle his ears. 

His health is still shaky, so he only has the stamina for one round before he needs to rest. He all but demands you inch as close as possible so he falls asleep holding you tight. When he wakes up the next morning, he’s got a 1000-watt smile. 

– Jihyun –

Out of the entire wacky cast of Mystic Messenger boys, Jihyun’s the only actual experienced one. You don’t have to tell him that a single pack of five condoms is waaayy too little, you don’t have to explain what dental dams are, or worry about him using oil-based lube on accident, and he’s the only one who actually showers thoroughly beforehand. 

It begins with your typical night of cuddling-and-kissing, then Jihyun says he’s clean and he’s got a bedside cabinet full of supplies. He gently holds your hand and asks, ‘”if you’d like …? We could … if you’re comfortable. If you’d have me.” He’s blushing, but he’s confident. 

Of course, even if you’re experienced, the first time with anybody is gonna be awkward. And Jihyun’s a surprisingly big guy to maneuver. There’s a lot of accidental elbowing, bonking of the heads, kneeling on sensitive bits, and little scrapes. His long limbs seemingly end up everywhere on the bed, and it’s like you’re playing twister. 

Mistakes just make him laugh. You trip over his outstretched forearm and face plant into his shoulder, and he just chuckles and pulls you into another kiss. 

He’s just so soft and loving. ‘Cause to Jihyun, it’s about ~making love~. He wants to go slow, looking into your eyes, cradling your head and burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

Tries to get you off first, either through oral or otherwise. He’s not a big fan of any positions that turn you away from him, it’s just too rough and aggressive. He’d rather carry you on his shoulders before he prefers doggy style. 

Checks in with you constantly, asks what you like and where you like to be touched. Tries to get you to literally guide his hands. In turn, he asks you to please, touch his legs, his thighs ... yes, kiss me there - 

For your first time, he’d rather have a one-two long sessions than multiple quick ones. He believes sex is one of the most intimate methods of non-verbal communication, and the longer you go in one sitting, the more is passed between the two of you. 

He’s never used toys in his life. If you decide to pull one out for your first time, he’s gonna blush like crazy and actually decline. He wants the first night to be 'organic’. And he’s so driven towards that romantic face-to-face lovemaking, he won’t go too hard or fast, even if you’re begging him. 

After the sex, he wraps you up in a cozy blanket before fetching some hot tea and fresh fruit. Then there’s several minutes spent reviewing how things went, what things worked well, or how they can improved. He catalogues it all for later. 

He rarely wants to fall asleep right after sex, so you might pass out peacefully, but he’s gonna stay awake, just gazing at you for a while. 

[miraculouscontent]

(miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Oh My Gosh!!!! I was just thinking about Party Crasher and man I hate how they had Ladybug get captured for the men to save! It's a continuous thing you see in media: strong heroic woman gets put in peril so that the men can shine. I didn't even realize it until you said it! I get that it was probably meant to be a "role reversal" of Chat always getting kidnapped or brainwashed for Ladybug to save, but the fact that this is the "guys' episode" it read like "well damn, we can't have the guys be strong if a girl is in the way; let's have the girl get captured so the boys can prove their worth by rescuing her!".

At least in Sandboy, Ladybug was still competent and came up with the plans, but this?! It makes me sick, and it's all too easy to fall into these traps; even Kim Possible did it! In my magical girl story, the heroine does get put in a magical coma and require someone to bail her out, but it's her female friends AND her boyfriend who save her, so it's not just a girl being weakened so a boy can be powerful, especially since said boy actually does a minority of the work required to save her; the focus is on the female characters so it's her girl friends who do most of it. I still ended up scrapping that side plot anyway, and do you know why? Because regardless of who saved her, I still didn't want my female protagonist to be put in distress at all due to the unfortunate implications! Needing help in a fight? Sure. But outright being captured or kidnapped? Nah fam.

I was honestly thinking about that when the first episode came out. Like, they could’ve just had Marinette NOT SHOW UP in time so the guys take care of things, which at least gives more of a message that Paris wouldn’t go to hell just because Ladybug is a little late or something.

And yeah, the “boys squad episode so gotta toss the girl out” is... sigh.

Anonymous said:

I think the writers were trying to show Chat angsting to show his regret instead of an actual apology. Still doesn't explain why Aeon didn't bring up her death afterwards. Did Olympia delete that from her memory banks?

I guess? :|

I don’t know why Chat can’t just apologize without fishing or trying to earn sympathy. Like JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY, DAMMIT.

Anonymous said:

If you haven't read Maribat, then you won't regret it. I am not in the DC universe but I started reading it and WOW. Literally every single time Marinette is a badass queen and gets her complete revenge and is actually happy! Even if you absolutely love Lukanette (which I have nothing against) you should totally try it.

Appreciate the comment, but I find it hard to ship other Marinette ships outside of Lukanette. Ivanette is a very loose exception and it’s not like I ship it hard or anything.

Anonymous said:

Despite not being a Lukanette shipper I love you. Why? Because you amazing, so right in literally everything and I love you <33

gkdfjgfdngjkfdg thank you

bat-anon said:

The NY Special made it so that Max is literally the only Black/Brown kid that doesn’t exist to make Love Square happen and that just makes me hate it even more.

I wish you didn’t make me have this realization because I hate it.

At least Delmar existed in the New York special???? I guess???? I dunno, I’m trying here, I don’t recall him doing anything love square centric.

Anonymous said:

I honestly don't mind Alix's outfit as Bunnix! I feel like it fits her, plus she's an adult so its not much of a problem, not saying it can't be improved however. I DO have issues with the designs for the underage girls outfits however....those are very sus

Yeah, the problem I take with Bunnyx’s is that it’s a bodysuit. If there was just more definition, like having actual boots, I wouldn’t complain as much.

Anonymous said:

I actually just really like the idea of the new bee being a genuinely nice person who becomes friends with Marinette. Not exactly close friends (since I like the idea of friendly working relationships without actual personal stakes in them). I also enjoy the idea of the new bee having some small animosity for Chat Noir- just because their personalities aren't the greatest mix. I also think that it would make sense for the miraculous of subjection to be at odds with the miraculous of destruction

Full agreement but we know how much the writers are resistant to have characters go against Chat.

Anonymous said:

Not gonna lie the scene where the girl squad gets akumatized almost makes it seem like they got akumatized on purpose, similar to Manon in Puppeteer 2(although she was a little kid who was probably just imagining she could enact revenge). And why can't they have a uniformed design, like they're a team but wear different colors, similar to the Sailor Senshi(like, Alya's the leader and wears orange, Rose wears pink, Alix wears green, Juleka wears purple, and Mylene wears yellow). It's so boring.

Mood.

Not to mention that WE ARE SO TIRED OF THEM GETTING AKUMATIZED INTO THE SAME AKUMA.

AT LEAST PALETTE SWAP THEM.

Anonymous said:

Relating to the Didn't Need Burrows and Treatment of Marinette bingo cards, have you considered making one for whenever the show fails at girl power? It could say things like "sexualized frames of teenage girls" "boy tells girl what to do" "girls don't get to keep Miraculouses", and "girls are forced to apologize whenever a situation goes wrong". And in the center, it could say "Don't show this to your daughter!"! Lol! What do you think?

lol I feel like I have enough cards, otherwise I would.

Anonymous said:

I saw another post that talked about Miraculous New York, and they theorized that it was rewritten to focus more on Marinette and Adrien in order to get viewers invested in the Love Square again after more people started to lose faith in the ship. Do you think that's a possibility?

I think so. The whole special comes off as trying to reassure love square shippers because of how hard it goes for him. I cut out Marinette’s crushing and it cuts like 18% from the episode, meaning it’s even worse than Season 3 (15%).

Anonymous said:

Maybe the point of the [break-up episodes] is meant to discourage people from shipping Lukanette and Adrigami too?

Spoiler alert: didn’t work.

Anonymous said:

Are we not gonna talk about how in one ask, somebody legit said "(long dreamy sigh) Viperion"? Like same.

RIGHT????

Same.

Anonymous said:

Ml fandom: I hate how Ladybug keeps secrets from Chat Noir! He sacrifices himself for her all the time and she never appreciates him for it! He has EVERY right to get mad at her!!

ML Fandom when Chat Noir does the same thing in the special: ....Wow Ladybug was way to harsh on Chat Noir!! She doesn’t appreciate him at all!! Shes so mean to him!

:|

i hate it

Anonymous said:

Idk if it's just me, but a majority of the fandom is split in two; it's never one or the other "MARINETTE SUCKS AND IS A HORRIBLE PERSON GUARDIAN MARY SUE WHO SEXUALLY HARRASSES" or "ADRIEN SUCKS HE WAS NEVER ON MARINETTES SIDE" but im personally on the latter, but not to that extreme. i hate videos bashing marinette and then never acknowledge adriens faults

Yeah, the fandom gets more divided as time goes on because of the writers trying to increase the drama/tension.

Anonymous said:

I am PERSONALLY offended they gave Luka the snake miraculous. Snakes have such a negative connotation. A lot of people insult Lila by calling her a SNAKE. And now those ML writers DARE insult the best character in ML?! HOW DARE THEY!?????

I adore Viperion but I agree that I first heard he was getting snake and was like, “BUT MY BOI???”

It gets awkward too because other animals like the pig have negative connotations, like how Daizzi basically means “idiot/stupid” and they’re giving it to the freaking blond character, really???

Anonymous said:

I think that Ivanette would be even better if Marinette was plus-sized character.

I see why you’d think that. I just disagree because then it turns the ship into “let’s pair the heavyset characters together because they heavyset.”

Anonymous asked:

On the topic of romance failures and general series salt, my main issue right now is how the series puts so much focus on romantic relationships while failing to consider other levels of relationship or what they affect.

On the L² front I can completely buy Marinette being in love with Adrien. Most of the time she genuinely wants him to be happy and is ready to take a step back for him, however much it hurts. But in terms of romantic love? It. Is. A. Crush! But if we step back from the formula, what is there left between them? Their civilian relationship is held together by a “comedy” of errors and without that there is surprisingly little left. Well, besides two “best friends” desperately trying to make it happen because somehow they lost their individual characters and instead of being friends became matchmakers?

I too like Luka and Marinette together. Their relationship is pretty nice to see and all. But sometimes it feels like it happens in a dimension of its own, like the writers want to make the endgame clear in that the “sideships” can be easily cut out of the big “how they got together”-recaps. I especially miss reactions from and interactions with Juleka. She is Luka’s sister, Marinette’s friend, and IIRC someone aware of if not even a bit player in the great shipping game. She is in a prime position to step up and bring progress on all fronts: She can talk with Luka. She can either give Marinette helpful pointers or go “All in or nothing”, i.e. trying to make Marinette get her Adrien-feelings in order as she does not want her brother to get less than Marinette’s full heart. Similarly, she can counteract “friendly acts” and stop humiliating situations from escalating, or she herself can escalate them in the “All or Nothing”-scenario. Yet she remains basically a background character who gets little attention from the camera and almost no “non-focus identity”

As for Kagami, I may be too biased. *Any* positive Kagami/Marinette relationship is to me what Lukanette is to you. So naturally I have lots of opinions when it comes to her role ;) But can I just say that Adrien/Kagami is the weirdest ship for me? They have a few cute scenes and I think if they’d spend a lot more time together, they’d do each other good but I don’t know how they work. “No Hesitation” Kagami would lob Adrien’s head straight off with all his…everything. If we are meant to take Adrien’s love for LB seriously (and I guess we have to because how in the name of sanity is any form of the stated endgame gonna work otherwise???), how does Kagami fit into that picture as a girl who can hardly express emotions while Adrien is the definition of a  guy who can not stop flirting or goes for all kinds of romantic gestures? Sometimes it feels more like a “social fit” and “Mommy/Daddy approves” kind of deal which is quite the shame! Normally I like these kind of relationships in fictions but they need a solid underlining or good development. One they haven’t and one the series has not been giving to anyone so far.

Yeah, the whole thing with the love square versus side ships ends up feeling extremely forced. Keeping Luka away and forcing Adrien into Lukanette episode are the biggest giveaways, basically a big fat sign that says, “We know Marinette would forget that Adrien exists if she hung around Luka for more than five minutes.”

AND YEAH, KAGAMI WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH ADRIEN’S GARBAGE. I liked Adrimi but it’s definitely more flawed than Lukanette.

Anonymous said:

Watched your opinion on the New York special and I agree with you. It was mediocre at best. It could have been something nice, like if they added Kagami and Luka, for example, so that we can get a bit of development from the new couples on season 4, so that it doesn’t feel rushed when they start dating on season 4. It could also be a good opportunity to see the other temporary heroes one last time, since Marinette technically has the miracle box.

They could have had an epic fight with the American Superheroes, maybe even giving the bee miraculous temporally to Aeon or Jess so that we didn’t need to see their awful and uncreative superheroes designs. It would have been nice if they made something more useful other than being characters that believe that Adrien and Marinette are “Meant to be”, like, we already got a ton of these already, couldn’t we get someone who didn’t feel something about this ship? It has so much wasted potential that I don’t even know how to start. Do you agree with anything I said?

I agree, yes. They could’ve easily thrown Luka/Kagami into the mix (or had Marinette/Adrien stay behind while flipping perspectives or something; flawed but they could make it work).

Anonymous said:

I'm rereading ladybugout and wow... the moment of silence after "chat deserves that kiss" gets me every time. Everyone stopping and just staring because wow he really just said that

Me whenever Chat Noir opens his mouth in the show.

Anonymous said:

I saw the Backwarder post you just talked about and yes, it is so totally ridiculous. They forgot another thing, though. Miraculous isn't just about comedy, action, and romance, it's about embarrassing Marinette. And the fact that almost everyone in the comments was acting like the medicine scene at the end was funny was just stupid and saddening to hear or read about, because it shows how people have been conditioned to hate and rally against Marinette without even realizing it. Granted, there was one lady who said it reminded her of her husband, so I guess that's okay(but all it means is that Adrien will be Marinette's--aka "his lady's"--husband like eeerrrgh!). And there was one person who said they liked that Juleka's advice because "If you're friend isn't willing to commit crimes for your happiness, is she even your friend?". But everyone else liked the ending. And I don't get the person who said we got "Subtle progression with Adrien and Marinette". We're right where we started.

Weeeeell, I understand the “comedy, action, romance” comment because all of those basically boil down to embarrassing Marinette or invalidating her. Comedy and romance goes without saying while action involves her dealing with Chat “Nice Guy” Noir.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me, or does Snow White's "Red Shoes" form look a lot like Marinette. I know, I know, Marinette is Chinese and Red Shoes is Korean, but they still look strikingly similar. They're bodies are really similar, too, but that might just be because animation tends to use eerily similar body types for its female characters on a whole. It's sad and it makes me think of how cute Marinette would be if she was fat. I also think Snow White was cuter than Red Shoes but that's kind of the point.

I think it’s the body type thing but that’s just a guess since I didn’t immediately make the connection.

I agree that Snow White is cuter.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who's never liked "destined to fail" characters? Basically this is when characters aren't allowed to be good at/succeed at something or else the whole universe will somehow fall apart. Think of how in The Amazing World of Gumball, if Richard gets a job, the world will be in complete and utter chaos. So he's better off as a lazy, bumbling dad. In Phineas and Ferb, Candace is always trying to rat out her younger brothers but if she gives up or succeeds something bad will happen.

TV Tropes put it the best: "Not only is she not allowed to succeed, but she's also not allowed to stop trying!"(conveniently under the Cosmic Plaything trope). I just don't like it because it shows that the writers just want to lead them on with the promise of success then snatch it away at the last minute. And now we're back at Miraculous Ladybug, where Marinette is humiliated every time she doesn't sign a gift that's for Adrien, and yet when she does, everyone in Paris DIES. Except for...HIM.

you: *mentions Candace*

me: [a million awful flashbacks]

Also, yeah, it’s so hard to watch, especially in “Chat Blanc” because it’s like, “Oh, you want to give a gift to a boy and you dArEd to use your powers for it? Congrats, but everyone else is DEAD and you can hang out with him as much as you want! You’re welcome!”

Anonymous said:

I think it’d become a “faintest idea blackout card”rather than a bingo.

(referring to my “Faintest Idea” card)

We’re getting there.

darkmoonravewolf said:

I hate that everything on that list could happen and very likely will

(referring to “Didn’t Need Burrow”)

Yeah, and it makes me sad :’)

Anonymous said:

That’s be real here. Miraculous ladybug is not a show about Marinette; Miraculous Ladybug is a show about Adrien. Adrien is the real main character.

Notice that when they focused on Adrien in “Lies,” they only cut back to Marinette (IN A SCENE THAT CAN’T EXIST) to have her fawn over him.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me or are Lady Noire's eyes huge? Maybe it's just the green but they seem way bigger than Marinette's

I’m not sure, but considering Rena’s facial structure being different from Alya’s, it wouldn’t surprise me.

asexual-individual said:

With what you've said about Adrien lacking a reason to exist outside of development for Marinette and Gabriel, I have to wonder how different the show would be if Chat Noir's identity was also kept from the audience. Adrien would still be there as himself, but he only gets as much focus as Alya, and Chat Noir's identity is treated as a mystery (a Tuxedo Mask type mystery, but a mystery all the same).

I see what you mean but it might cause Adrien+Chat’s screentime to feel excessive once the reveal happens, because suddenly their screentime gets combined and it’s like, “oh wow so the combined screentime is his then.”

Anonymous said:

I know that the kwami's really only exist so we can hear our protagonists' thoughts outloud (like what the Coraline movie did with adding Wybie to the story). But honestly, what's the point in having magical gods in the jewelry if you're not going to do anything with them?

Marketing with “cute” side characters.

guisendisguise said:

It's funny, originally, I had shipped Marichat in the sense that Chat and Mari start hanging out and both fall in love with the other's supposedly less perfect, more real selves. Then Luka was introduced and I ended up putting both lukanette and marichat at the same level. Then S3 hit and killed any love I had for Marichat. The writers themselves killed the Love Square for me. At this point, it's very clear they are living in a delusion where the Love Square could ever work narratively without Deus ex Machina or Deus Lo Vult (God wills it). Basically, they've gone past scraping the bottom of the writing skills barrel and are now shoulder deep in the hole they dug thru the bottom of said barrel. I'd like to point out that the bottom of the barrel is writing poop and now they're digging thru the useless plastic landfill the barrel was sitting on top of

Uggggh, yeah. Any appreciation I could’ve had for Marichat died in “Weredad.” I already didn’t like Adrien/Chat and then “Weredad” just showed his complete lack of... well, ANYTHING.

cosmostellar said:

Honestly feels like MLBs writers are going based off the "JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE" instead of, yknow, fleshing them out while developing them also in the context of their cultures and giving them these little things that the audiences who belong to the same minority can identify with. I don't mean "have Marinette walk in qipao 24/7" bcs thats just... bad on its own but man, /some/ casual acknowledgments of her culture would be nice.

Reading the sentence “JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE” physically hurts me.

Anonymous said:

Ok, I've always thought that Chloe was robbed of redemption (they held it in front of us, but then jerked it away while Astruc says, "She's irredeemable! We thought she was redeemable, but she wasn't :)!" What are your thoughts! Also, I just recently found your blog and I really like it :)

Thank you!

But I have no sympathy for bully characters, so I didn’t want Chloe redeemed. Maybe I’m still bitter about my own bullying experience, but I just wasn’t here for Marinette being forced to forgive Chloe, which is basically what they did until they backpedaled.

The time spent on her was wasted though and that I can agree on.

Anonymous said:

Me: Writes a 1k rant about how the tweet makes no sense as the "mistake" is about motivation and not the critical plot. Also me: Remembers that in MLB the plot always comes back to the romance. Finally me: Wonders why he got involved with the series post-S3 when all the red flags were already everywhere.

Mistakes were made.

Anonymous said:

I'm semi-catching up on miraculous, and- is it my impression, or does Kagami rebel against her mother more in few episodes she's in (even though her mother's influences on her seem to be stronger in general), than Adrien in the entire show? I /know/ that I don't want to see Adrien free himself from his father w/ the desperation I want to see Kagami free herself from her mother and realize that the standards she's held up to are unhealthy and too strong.

Yeah, I’m way more invested in Kagami than Adrien.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one confused about whether the staff stopped caring and half-asses the series or cares too much and over-produces the hell out of it?

Nah. It really feels like they secretly hate the love square so they have to keep forcing it.

Anonymous said:

ngl I haven't watched any new episodes since Chameleon and I've been getting all that Miraculous News via tumblr to avoid that Marinette Brand Second Hand Embarrassment™

Understandable.

Anonymous said:

If they aired the 6th one first WHAT WHAT HAPPENED TO LEAD UP TO THIS???? WE ARE ON SEASON FOUR WITH TWO SPEICALS, GETTING A THIRD, AND ANY DEVELOPMENT WE HAD HAS GONE BACKWARDS, SUCKED, OR STATUS QUO YO-ED AWAY!!!!! HOW THE HECK DO WE GET ADRIENETTE FROM FOUR SEASONS OF NOTHING?????? I USED TO FANGIRL AT THIS NOW I AM TERRIFIED.

Answer: We don’t get Adrienette. We get forced love square and rushed/fake “development” of it while being constantly confused as episodes air out of order.

Anonymous said:

im sorry But adrienette has been suck in this limbo of one sidedness for 3 seasons. neither of them have become closer, neither of them have confided in one another, but somehow people still ship it? at least luka was able to make a move on marinette lol adrien still repeats the same boring “shes just a friend” line. adrienette is a really boring ship.

lol don’t apologize, you’re absolutely right.

nahte123456 said:

Very minor bit of salt to throw to the pile, but can this show just decide on how strong Miraculous holders are? Yes it's a cartoon and not the focus but in the Furious Fu episode we literally get Ladybug dodging lighting and then Su who seems mostly human and is at least slower then Fu was outspeeding her. It's distracting trying to figure out what is and isn't a serious threat in this show.

The deciding factor in the strength of the miraculous holders is “whatever works for the plot.”

Anonymous said:

At this point the only thing I'm excited for concerning Miraculous Ladybug is when it gets a reboot in like, a decade with actually competent writers

Best case scenario is that Zag goes bankrupt and Disney/Netflix picks up the series and gives it to competent people.

Problem is that the love square has been ruined so badly for me that even a “good” version of it wouldn’t be something I’d be into, but still.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the problem with having all of Marinette's mistakes result in huge disasters (ex. Feast), is that is gives off the impression that teenagers aren't allowed to make mistakes. This show clearly doesn't like giving second chances to the protagonist, so why would life give one to you? Am I right, kids?

Exactly.

Marinette makes mistakes and suddenly the world is ending.

Anonymous said:

If your gonna watch the show, at least pirate the episodes so the writers dont get your support

Don’t worry, I have no interest in financially supporting the show.

Anonymous said:

ml in a nutshell: wasted potential, then giving themselves more potential, only to turn the rest of it into a dumpster fire

Yup, that’s it.

Anonymous said:

u know, when My Little Pony, Sofia The First, and fanfiction carries out character development, respect, romance, and the main plot better than the original show, especially when the shows mentioned above are aimed more at little girls and the original show is aimed at slightly older audiences... somethings wrong

*sigh*

And then it’s like--people will excuse the show because “it’s a kids’ show” and then I’m just “okay then, why are there actually good kids’ show?”

If shows get a pass for being for children then all childrens’ shows should just not try and be garbage since the standard is so low.

Anonymous said:

ive seen some cool fic ideas/concepts/reviews that made me think: ml could use so much more looking into how a character thinks in some situations. one fic i read had alya in chameleon (i know its been forever since the ep came out but hey) not question lila cus she thought: "hey, lb wouldnt befriend a bad person" w and added a plot line of lila making her think lb was cobsidering replacing rena rougue. like, just a few lines to make them seem better pls?

YES. Like, show us characters’ perspectives and why they’re rolling with the facts that they’re rolling with, otherwise they just end up looking like jerks.

We sort of got it in “Ikari Gozen” with Kagami but of course it was just to make Marinette look bad.

Anonymous said:

You know I’m honestly considering making reviews of this show and if I do I could create hour long rants about the show just from that mans twitter.

Yeaaaaaah, once you had in the Twitter stuff, it just becomes, “okay so this is going to add another hour or two then.”

Anonymous said:

Okay one thing that bothers me is how plain marinette's suits are despite being a DESIGNER. Her multimouse suit it just blocks of color and her ladynoir suit is just grey with green lines. I think the lines are supposed to represent actually clothes. Like the limes on the calves are supposed to make it look like boots but why not actually GIVE her boots. (Right, because she has to have a skintight suit unlike the boys who get some layers.)

THE SHEER DISRESPECT OF HAVING THE FASHION DESIGNER WEAR SUCH A PLAIN SUIT.

It also goes to show who really designs here, like oh, interesting, the girls get skin-tight simplistic bodysuits and the boys gets all the cool stuff--

Anonymous said:

I heard some people in my class saying they watched Miraculous Ladybug for the first time, and they were saying how good it was, and I was like: 'Oh you poor fools. You have NO idea what it's truly like.'

You know what they say: ignorance is bliss.

bat-anon said:

Isn’t it INTERESTING how in Frozer, Luka understands that Marinette is torn between her crushes and continues to support her even though he knows she probably won’t chose him, and in the exact same episode Chat Noir refuses to help save the city because Ladybug told him AGAIN that she wasn’t romantically interested in him? HMMM 🤔😑

dbfgjbdfjkgf

I’M REMINDED OF “FELIX” WHERE IT’S LIKE--THEY WERE CLEARLY TRYING TO SHOW HOW MUCH “BETTER” CHAT NOIR IS THAN FELIX, BUT LUKA WAS THE RESPECTFUL ONE.

Anonymous said:

You know what I want to see? An evil kwami, like they just want to commit crimes. No moral high grounds, just chaotic evil.

That’d be amazing just because I wouldn’t be able to take them seriously.

Anonymous said:

Watching S1 and S3 episodes back to back, it feels like reading salt fics at times, especially in regards to the L². Like, Marinette was happy about weird plans, she both needed and wanted the final push, and most of the time there was at least something coming out of it. Nowadays it just makes her sad, Alya and the girls act *against* her, and we get shipping for shipping's sake.

That’s a good point. The shift from Seasons 1 to 2 to 3 is rather noticeable.

Anonymous said:

I hate how Adrien's busy schedule seems to only matter when it's used to make Marinette feel bad, but the second Marinette has a bit more to do, it somehow has a negative effect on not only her, but also everyone/everything she cares about, like, what's up with that??

I’m reminded of “Lies” here and I hate it. :|

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the way the show treats teenage girls is horse ass. The show treats the teenage girls of this show as if they're stupid, naive, emotional, clumsy, and need a boy to tell them what opinions to have. Marinette is always treated like the show's punching bag and blamed for everything that goes wrong because she's "emotional" or "obsessed with Adrien", Chloe could've been redeemed but the writers would rather keep her a brain-dead Alpha Bitch Valley Girl(even though Gabriel and Felix, the latter of whom is a teenage boy introduced in one episode, get to be treated as redeemable, despite the things they do being far, far worse), and Lila is a conniving, self-absorbed fox.

And even though Kagami seems better, she's still roped into the "girls catfight over an oblivious guy" cliche and so far, all of her akumatizations have been because of Adrien. Whenever Marinette tries to move on from Adrien the other characters tell her what's good for her and steer her in the "right" direction because she apparently can't think for herself, and the writers LOVE to use the girl squad to tell us who Marinette should be with, because they apparently know better than she does.

Plus the show loves to treat all the girls as the same, making them all either fight over Adrien or be obsessed with shipping, as if teenage girls are all one assimilating, homogenized group(also when they treat Marinette as if she's "just as bad as Chloe", rinse and repeat for the other ladies.). Honestly, the show feels like it was written by those types of people who think "teenage girls are the worst" so they make them all mood-swingy, obsessive, showoffs, emotional, and downright clingy.

Plus the way Thomas Astruc talks about the female characters on Twitter is even worse, and only serves to make this more evident: he claims Marinette "has poor control over her emotions"(all the while calling Adrien "perfect"), that Chloe was racist in Kung Food "because she's stupid"(so rather than having that scene serve as a lesson on respecting other's cultures, he just did it to pick on Chloe and make her look "stupid"), that she's incapable of being redeemed, that Lila's unlikable but Gabriel and Felix aren't(even though he claimed Felix was a terrible character and a "cliche", that's not what the show says my guy), and other such nonsense.

Other Twitter users have also called out Miraculous Ladybug and its stereotypical treatment of teenage girls. The only shows I've ever seen do this worse are those pretentious "darker" Magical Girl "deconstructions" aimed at grown men such as Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, as well as most shonen/seinen shows such as Naruto and Death Note, which says a lot. Honestly, whenever I feel like watching a show with empowering and respectful depictions of teenage girls that treats them as bright and intelligent and actually unique from one another, I just watch Equestria Girls, Liv and Maddie, LoliRock, ANT Farm, Moesha, PreCure, or Sailor Moon. Because the way the show acts towards them is deplorable, absolutely deplorable.

Yes to all of the above. Almost all of the girls are involved in love affairs in some way, the two teenage girls are irredeemable while Felix got a sympathetic backstory right away (Chloe took forever to get hers which is a failure), and Marinette is flawed because she’s “too emotional” (a misogynistic stereotype).

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the anon who got upset at the lady who made the "Miraculous Ladybug is a Mess" rant, and yes, thank you zodiacspirit17 for liking and agreeing with my rant! I'm glad someone else saw that video! And ugh, Marinette learning to love Chat Noir? Really? I don't remember that line but I also don't want to go back and revisit it to make sure so I'll take your word for it. Ew. That was actually one of the things I hated about the Glaciator scene. Chat was supposedly comforting Marinette by taking her to the rooftop where he planned Ladybug's date, and yet only Marinette finds out about Chat's crush on Ladybug and comforts him on that(while rethinking her feelings), while all Chat knows is that Marinette's heart was also broken. He never asks who it is, or tries to help her get over her crush even if he doesn't know it's coincidentally him.

I know it's because of the "love square" but it's unfair that only Chat's love problems are directly addressed. Come to think of it, the reason Chat took Marinette to the rooftop...I know he was doing it in-universe to help her instead of intruding on her personal feelings(which might have also been why he didn't ask her who her crush was, he was probably thinking along the lines of "we don't have to talk about it right now, we can just have fun!"), but meta-wise, since we know she's Ladybug, the writers were probably trying to tell her "See? This is what you could've been doing, but you missed it. Shame on you!" That's a huge issue I have with the show: characters will do things in-universe to help Marinette, but the show has a different motive in mind. Compare to how Tikki gave actual advice to Marinette in Puppeteer 2, but the writers intended that for the statue scene so they could embarrass her in front of Adrien and the thousands of eyes watching the show(except we're not laughing.). Even if characters do support her, the writer is using them as props for her ritualized humiliation. And yet Luka is the problem somehow.

If Marinette needs to learn how to love Chat Noir, then it should at least be balanced out by Adrien learning to Marinette. I'm sick of this double standard that "girls need to learn to accept boys who like them but guys can do what they want". Another thing she said was that "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on." NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. You see, unlike Adrien, Marinette HAS a life outside of who she's crushing on: she has school, she has Kitty Section, she has her "girl squad", she has her parents, she has her outside family, she babysits Alya's and Nino's siblings, and she has OH YEAH HER FASHION DESIGNING! I didn't even count being a superhero since Adrien does that, too. She has so many things to do outside of Adrien, and yet the fact that she makes gifts for Adrien or dreams about Adrien or wants to have kids with Adrien somehow makes her nothing but an "Adrien fangirl"?

First of all, she's the bloody protagonist?! That's such a "Real Women Don't Wear Dresses" argument, that she can't have her own life AND be in love at the same time! And somehow her crushing on Luka also means her life revolves around him, too! But Adrien's life doesn't revolve around Ladybug even though he doesn't really have anything going for him in his ordinary life? Outside of being rich, hot, white, and male, that is? What are his interests and hobbies, besides what Gabriel lets him do to pass the time? He doesn't even like modeling! And the Agreste plot is more about Gabriel, Emilie, and Nathalie than it is about him.

And what about his friendship with Nino? He didn't even care that Nino was getting strung along by Lila with the others! What about his friendship with Chloe that also waxes and wanes? Granted, Chloe's not a GOOD person, which that lady acknowledged, but she at least tried to change and has more development than him, the writers just won't let her change. I hate when people come for Marinette for doing literally anything when the show won't let her have agency and progress. It's so unfair of her and I wish they could see that. These double standards are driving me insane and they're sexist(maybe even a little bit racist, too), and it hurts even more when a woman's doing those things.

(I had to cut off some of this ask because I didn’t get all of it, so I cut it off at the point where it still seemed like a full ask.)

I FEEL THE “GLACIATOR” THING SO BAD. It hurts even worse when you realize that “Frozer” has to take place after “Glaciator,” so Chat Noir heard that Marinette has love problems and then ignored it to ask her for advice about his own love problems later on. The total lack of insensitivity???

Also, the idea that Marinette’s life would revolve around her crush on Luka is stupid. It’s the exact opposite, in fact.

Meanwhile, Adrien has so little going for him and the “interesting” parts of him involve who he’s connected to or what his father has forced him into.

[ttorystory]

Mare of Easttown 1x05 Fix it Fic

tv show: Mare of Easttown

pairing: Colin Zabel x Mare Sheehan

spoilers: ep 5 - Illusions

summary: No one except the bad motherf*cker gets killed because we live in a happier world where killing Evan Peter's adorable character is illegal. We can hurt him a lil' bit though. Because we like to suffer-- or at least I do. I'm so sorry. But it's for the bOnDinG reasons, you know.

warnings: shooting, blood, swearing, Colin's cute smile

word count: 1,086

A/N: OH MY GOD, IT'S HAPPENING. I've written my first ever fanfic in English. So it's like, elementary school level of English for which I apologize in advance. BUT I strongly encourage you to let me know about any and every one of my mistakes so I can fix them right away! It'll get better in the next chapters, I promise (I hope). Yes, I do plan a few more chapters. I mean, this is really just a short one, because I wanted to write an ending that episode should have had. But I wanna see Mare visiting Colin in hospital. I wanna see their second date. I wanna see Colin having the future he deserves.

Okay, so that would be all from me for now. If you decide to comment, whether in a positive or a negative way, I will be very grateful. Thank you and enjoy the fic.

“Mare.”

She turns her head towards the quiet call and glances over the table. In a pile of unwashed mugs and other garbage, there is an ashtray full of cigarette butts, and a half-empty pack.

Winstons.

This place is stinking from the very start and her suspicion is growing with every passing second.

“Zabel,” she whispers, reaching to her belt and reminding him there is nothing there, as she is officially still suspended. “No gun.”

It is a signal that it is he who has to be prepared if anything goes down with the odd guy. Her gaze follows the direction he’d gone, awaiting the music to stop. But her colleague quietly addresses her again.

“Mare.”

His hand outstretched, he is handing her his gun. Mare hesitates for a second, but there isn’t much time to discuss the topic, so she just takes it and hides it under her jacket quickly.

Besides, Mare knows it is a good move. She trusts Zabel and she knows he is capable, but he doesn’t have that much experience. God knows if he ever actually used the gun out in the field before. In some situations, it’s either you or the other man, and if you wanna survive you have to act quickly. And this situation? She has a bad fucking feeling about it.

Her intuition is proven right when only minutes later the bastard, Mr. Potts, shoots Zabel. He would have killed him on the spot if she didn’t shoot the man at the exact same time, diverting the bullet.

After a few endless minutes of shooting and fighting, Potts finally drops dead. Mare sinks down to her knees, panting. Those poor girls are screaming upstairs but she knows they can wait a little longer, now there is nothing to cause them any more harm. There is a person though who needs more acute help.

“Zabel!”

Her colleague is half lying on the floor, half leaning on a cupboard, squeezing his left shoulder and shaking. Mare hurries to him, taking her jacket off so she can cover him partially.

“Zabel, it’s over. Help's on the way, okay?”

She takes off her shirt as well and tries to tie it around his shoulder somehow so that the wound would stop bleeding. Zabel groans in pain but holds still.

“You’re hurt,” he says softly, panting.

Mare gives her bleeding wrist a quick look. The adrenaline running in her veins caused her to forget the injury. There is probably some small wound on her face as well, but it is nothing compared to the risk Zabel is exposed to at the moment.

“Yeah, well, you’re more hurt. Keep the pressure here,” she says, pressing his palm onto the coverage of the wound. The bleeding seems bad, but the bullet didn't hit any important organ. The police and ambulance will be here in no time. He should be fine. He has to be.

“I knew why-- why I was giving you-- the gun,” Zabel continues through the pain, his eyes looking and their hands pressed on his shoulder.

“Well, there’s gonna be a shitload of paperwork about this mess,” she smirks gloomily. Two officers - one of them off duty - injured, one dead weirdo, two missing girls being held in the attic. Mare brushes some hair away from her face, checking if there is blood on her fingers. This might be the first time she is kinda glad she is suspended.

“Mare, you-- you saved--”

Even though trying to say something, Zabel’s head starts falling to a side as his eyes are slowly about to close. Mare grabs him by the chin immediately.

“Hey, hey, eyes up! Stay with me, Zabel! The ambulance is here in a minute!” she orders, the tone of her voice urgent, while still holding his chin and trying to keep his gaze focused on her face.

A smile appears on the young man’s face.

“‘course I wanna stay with you… Mare.”

She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes in disbelief. “You’re being smooth now?”

That adorable, boy-like smile of his. Giving it to her even while basically fighting the loss of consciousness. What a dumbo. Her lips curl into a faint smile, too.

Glancing away, Mare realizes that girls who had been silent for a while are making hell of a noise again. And she knows why right away - there are police and ambulance sirens roaring nearby, approaching them finally.

Mare moves herself closer to the door so she can kick it more open. Swiftly she returns back to her colleague, whose head and hand are falling, obviously tired, again.

“They’re here, Zabel. You gotta hold on,” she urges him, one hand pressed on his wound, the other slapping his face slightly. She can hear several vehicles stopping outside of the house.

“Look at me, Zabel. Zabel! Colin!”

He mumbles something right just as the police officers and paramedics burst inside and the room around Mare starts to fill up.

Someone helps her to her feet, other people are taking care of Colin. She hears names and ranks, she tells them theirs, and then they are taking her outside, but she has one more important thing to say.

“There’re girls... they’re locked upstairs!” she shouts to the officers, turning backward partially. “Katie! Katie Bailey and…”

“That’s okay, ma’am, they’ll look into it,” a paramedic assures her, as he is guiding her to the ambulance. Mare sees Colin lying on the medical stretches, being taken to the vehicle alongside her.

“You okay?” she asks when he is next to her, even though he is lying with an oxygen mask over his face and eyes barely opened. She looks at the other paramedic. “Will he be fine?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“Don’t you fucking dare dying, Zabel!” she says warningly. She thinks she hears him murmur an answer and it calms her down a bit. He just can’t die. He won’t.

She sits where the paramedic tells her to and she lets him treat injuries, not listening to what he is saying to her.

People around her should stop fucking dying.

“Maybe you should lie down?” the man suggests.

“I’m fine.”

He’ll be fine as well. He has to be. They’ll take care of his shoulder and he’ll get through it.

She spots an officer coming up to her. She knows her, it’s Sergeant Diane Gibbson from this district.

Fuck, she’ll even go on another date with him if he asks.

Sergeant nods in greeting.

“Mare.”