#if you want choclate you can make your own or fight him for it

[eveandtheturtles]

Leo - The rainy weather- NSFW

Summary: It's dead of the night, Leo needs some comfort, but it's gonna change the nature of your relationship. Will you dare?

Everyone involved is 18+, btw requests are open again if you want something written with Raph.

Ship: Leo x Reader

@madammuffins @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @sharpwindow @dilucsflame33 @pheradream15 and I hope you don't mind @leosgirl82

The storm was raging outside. It's been three days since the nonstop downpour plagued New York. You didn't mind it though too much. Safe in your own apartment, warm and ready to retire for the night the sound of rainfall over your window was comforting.

You briefly wondered if your terrapin friends were still out there, patrolling the streets. You hoped not. No matter their mutant physiology you'd rather they didn't have to fight for the city in this weather.

With that thought in mind you went to sleep.

It was still dark outside when you woke up to an insistent knocking on your window. Grabbing your trusty baseball bat you got out of the bed and went to check what it was.

"Leo?"

There he was. Miserable and soaked through the bone, sitting on your fire-escapes on the other side of the window. You dropped the baseball bat and rushed to let him in.

"Hey... sorry for dropping in on you like this," he said climbing in. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I mean- yes but that's alright," you fussed around him.

"Sorry, I'm... dripping water everywhere," he apologized, looking more at his feet than you.

"Is... everything alright?" You slipped your hand into his and squeezed.

In the time you have known the turtles Leo was never this subdued, a little broken. He was level headed but optimistic, cool, responsible. It was what drawn you to him. This Leo made you worried.

He looked at you as if he just noticed you were there. Something just snapping him back to reality "Yeah, all cool, I- I should go, let you sleep." He turned around trying to leave. His hand slipping out of yours but you held on tight.

"Leo... let me help you," you said softly. With your free palm you reached to his face and to his cheek, holding him gently.

He bit his bottom lip. His knees hit the floor and you held him tight as violet sobs wrecked his body. His face burried in the crook of your neck. You tried to sooth him to the best of your ability, letting his emotions run their course. Eventually, he calmed down.

You led him to your couch, where he poured his heart out. This whole weeks was heavy on them. The rain seemed to enable criminals. Something about being hidden from view with the heavy rain. They usually handled things like this better but- Tonight someone, an innocent person, died right in his arms and it just left him empty. Cold and hopeless.

You didn't know what to say because- what could you say to make it better? You only held him tight, hopeless in your desperate need to hep him. He held onto you like a life line.

At some point he let go. You grabbed a blanket, made hot choclate and turned on Netflix. When you sat down he leaned into you, soaking into your warmth. You put on Trollhunters, it seemed to be his favourite, and let it play. You were still tired and despite the emotional rollercoaster the small lull made you fall asleep pretty quick.

You somewhat woke up later to the feeling of being moved. You looked up to Leo carrying you to your bed. He laid you gently onto the mattress, bringing the sheets up to tuck you in.

"Leo?"

He paused and looked at you. "I should go," he said. There was something in his voice that told you he didn't want to, it was his own sense of duty telling him to leave. It was what would be expected of him. At least that's what he thought.

He was wrong.

"You can stay," you told him. You were about to add that the couch was all his if he wanted but you saw the look on his face. A small oh went off in your brain as you realised something.

You smiled softly. Then your night shirt fell off your shoulders. He froze.

"What-"

"It's ok. Stay," you insisted. "I want you too."

He nearly chocked but when you took his hand his knee rested on your bed as he slowly started climbing in.

"Are you sure?"

You nodded. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. At first he hesitated. Then all his desire, desperation and need for comfort poured out at once into the kiss. The bed protested as he pressed you into the bed, locking you under him. Your mind went blank, filled only with Leo. His calloused hands slid over your body. The texture deliscious over your breast. He growled and your sighed when his mouth found your neck. His teeth grazing your delicate skin over your pulse. You moaned when he bit down then kissed the mark.

He wanted to forget himself. He wanted to feel again. To not be cold.

You pushed gently at his shoulders flipping him on his back. He had to half sit in your bed, the shell awkward on human mattress. Your straddles his lap, kissing him again. You had to slow him down a little. Soften the kisses a little. Let him experience rather than burn. You held him tight and close. Stroking his cheeks and neck. Kissing his throat, nipping rather than biting. You placed his hands on your back and breast. "I'm here, I'm here", you hoped your actions said.

You slipped lower, your eyes locked on his as you undid his trousers, then pushed them past his hips, knees to finally toss them off the bed. His thighs were so well toned. You ran your hands over them, squeezing them. You kissed over them, trailing over to his cock.

You paused, giving him a moment to refuse but he was so enchanted with you. He nodded, giving you free rein to do anything you wanted.

You kissed him at the base, holding his shaft gently. Your tongue slipped out licking a trail around him. Slowly, you kissed and nipped your way up, stopping to suck at the side of it.

He was still holding on, muffling his moans with his hand. That wasn't your goal. You were going to make him scream tonight. Neighbors be damned. Let them be jealous.

You tightened your grip around him while you reached his head. You placed two kisses on each side and pressed the flat of your tongue to his slit, then dragged it slowly, licking off that precum gathering there. He gasped. Good. You licked, and kissed his crown, gently sucking on his skin just below it. Your thumb rubbed the underside of his cock while you pumped him steadily in shallow movements.

Leo gripped onto the headboard, throwing his head back. "God," he moaned, eyes shut and you smirked.

"Look at me, Leo," you ordered and he did. "Let it go," you said. "Watch me."

And then you locked your lips around him. Your head sunk down and you sucked.

A desperate moan tore out from his throat. You kept going. Using your tongue, your hand, your mouth. You were going to bring him to his high. You gradually were picking speed, alternating between sucking and kissing him until he was mewling under your, pleading with you to let him finish. You felt him tense up and at just the right moment, you sunk as low as you could and sucked as hard as you could. The yell of your name never sounded sweeter. He gripped the back of your head, fisting your hair in as the hot seed shot down your throat.

He shivered, moaning deeply as you slowly pulled back up, sitting up between his legs. He watched fascinated as your throat moved, swallowing the rest of his cum. He pulled you close, then slammed his mouth over yours, tasting himself on your tongue. You felt him twitch and harden again under you. This was your mission today. Make him feel good.

You lift yourself up, reaching between you. His eyes followed your hand as you positioned him at your entrance and then let him fill you up. Tight, snug and thick. A most pleasant stretch.

The two of you gasped and you moaned your name next to his ear. His hands gripped tight on your hips. So tight you knew you'd have marks there. Good. You moved.

Leaning back, holding onto his shoulder, your hips rolled. You drunk in his moans.

"I want to hear you," you groaned, hitting that good spot inside you.

You held on. Listening to his moans and groans as you rode him into oblivion. Your muscles squeezed around him making him cry out. The rhythmic movement of your bodies, the sound of meeting and parting between you, the scent of sex filled the room and urged you forward. More, more, more. More heat, closer together, more alive. You barrelled towards your peak and when Leo's teeth closed on your shoulder you fell, hard and deep. You heard him whisper your name and then cry out as he joined you.

His arms were tight around your waist as you slumped against his plastron. His face burried in your hair and you felt the gentle sob break away from him. But this time it was full a relief, gratitude and hope. You stroked his head and kissed him gently.

"I'm with you," you said.

Your alarm clock interrupted the quiet moment but you quickly quieted it down.

"You should go," he said sniffling a little.

"Nah, I'm calling it in, I deserve to anyway," you chuckled. "Do you want to go back to the lair?"

"Not yet, I want to stay with you for a bit longer," he admited and you smiled. "Alright. We should call Donnie-" a big yawn escaped you. "later."

"Yeah," he chuckled and you felt so happy at the sound of it. "Later."

You both snuggled together in your bed, leaving the world to deal with it later.

[careless-writer]

Yandere Saudi Arabia headcanons

Warning: I don't know jack shit about Islam so sorry if a portrayal is wrong

Affection: You would expect him to be distant but actually he's not, he's very touchy to the point of you're annoyance but he's just greatful that your his dear wife.

Blood: no no, he'd rather hire someone than do it himself or woo you with his wealth.

Cruelty: he'd be sososo sweet to you, when he finds someone to love he'd never let go.

Darling: You're gonna be covered, he doesn't care hijab and abaya and you are not to speak, unless he cannot speak for you and oh yeah you're having a family you can't say no to that all.

Exposed: he'd bare it all to her but he is a dangerpus man to be feared but overall he's very sweet and kind.

Fight: it's more likley that'd you disobey him rather than fight him, he'd be mad like Germany he's strict and isolation is his way of keeping you behaved.

Game: no no no this is not a game at all he's very very serious.

Hell: Either the isolation or the process of starting a family either will be hell.

Ideals: A well behaved silent Darling who will take care of his children, that'll be the only thing Shell have to worry about.

Jealousy: Yes yes, the jealousy of this man is scary to the point of only wanting him to hear her voice and see her luscious hair.

Kisses: He's so sweet to you cuddles holding hands 24/7 he'd love love to take you to the mall you're be forever tresured in his heart.

Love letters: He'd do anything spoil you give you all you could desire he'd buy you food choclate he'd give uou money, he loves and cherishes you.

Mask: Well to a point yes, you will not be free not allowed to talk and be covered from head to toe, but you'll still be spoiled and treated like a princess.

Naughty: Isolation, thats all I have to say

Oppression: The right to choose how to dress the way you'd like. The right to talk only he can hear you're dear voice

Patience: He will be patient but there's a limit and he can get scary if pushed.

Quit: He'd never recover, I once saw a call in radio that took place in one of the Arab nations and it was a man who remembered the years, months, days he even knew hours and seconds after his wife died, he looks like he's fine but you left and took his heart and soul with yourself.

Regret: No, he knows that Allah made you come into his life and he was blessed and he needs to take that chance with love.

Stigma: Islam is instilled into his brain to the point where he can not touch a woman without feeling like he sinned, Islam also wanted you to be him and him only.

Tears: yes yes it's most likley that your living a extremely sinful life and he has to save youd.

Unique: idk

Vice: His gift giving, he's easy to trick but his brothers know and will let him know

Wit’s end: Physically no no, mentally yes, if he can isolate his own daughter to the point of severe mental break he can make you have the same fate.

Xoanon: He's a rich man, he'll buy you anything spoil you dance with you all of that

Yearn: girl idk

Zenith: Yes you will be broken to a point

I'm so sorry for the shitty work I'll do actual productive stuff soon I promise

[voidgremlin2electricboogaloo]

Ehehe I have drawn a Floran

P l a n t

(his name is Tilac if your curious)

[violetnotez]

➯FIRST TIME | Itadori x virgin! reader | Jujutsu Kaisen

word count: 6,000+

warnings: SEX. MINORS DNI-also characters aged up :)

a/n: I havent wrote smut in a very, very looonngggg time- so sorry if its rough!

“Yuuji, please can I have just one?” You pleaded, your body currently laying on top of his as you gave him your best puppy eyed look.

You two were having a movie night, and even though you had eaten all your snacks, he refused to let you have some of his sour candy belts.

Didn’t the bastard love you enough to share?

Yuuji chuckled, the vibration soaking into your chest.

“You ate all of your candy! You’ve had enough for the night, or you won’t be able to sleep,”

“That just sounds like a lame excuse to not give me some,” you pouted, resting your hands lazily on his chest.

Yuuji places a chaste kiss on the top of your head, gobbling up a particularly sugary strip as if taunting you.

You mentally groaned in annoyance-

He definitely didn’t love you enough.

Suddenly, an evil idea coursed through your mind, a devilish grin spreading across your lips. You shuffled yourself on his chest, no longer laying on him but sitting, blocking his view of the TV.

You caught him giving you a quizzical look, those choclate brown eyes trying to understand what was going on.

“Fine then Yuuji-“ you grinned mischievously, reaching for his sugar glazed digits. “If you don’t want to give me some-“

Before he could process what you were planning, you brought his digits up to mouth, your lips wrapping around his fingers and giving a hard suck, tongue lapping you every grain of crystallized sugar.

You felt him shuffle under you, pelvis tightening under you and pushing up against your thighs. You snuck a look at him, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip as he stared at your mouth around his skin.

You sucked his pointer slowly, silently releasing your tongue in his skin as you chuckled to yourself.

He just looked so shocked-serves him right for not sharing.

“Those were pretty good Yuuji, kinda see why you didn’t wanna share-hnng-“

You suddenly couldn’t breathe-but in the best way possible. Yuuji was practically strangling you with his lips, devouring you in one full swoop, his large palm forcing your neck into him. He tasted just like his fingers, but much more intense, and his skin was so soft that it had your head spinning.

Yuuji broke from your heated kiss, his lips now swollen and parted as he gasped for breath. Those brown eyes you knew so well seemed almost darker, and glazed, something in them entirely different from any other time he ever kissed you.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t maked out with him before-you had done it countless times. But each time he rarely ever lost control, always being incredibly sweet and comforting, making sure you felt as good as he did. His eyes were bright and hazy with ecstasy, always looking so dazed as if he had never kissed anyone before.

But right now, that sweet and caring Yuuji wasn’t entirely there-something else was taking over, and the look he was giving you was simultaneously nerve wracking and hot.

Like a predator looking at his prey-but fighting to hold itself back.

“You don’t know how bad I want you right now-you make it so hard for me to hold back sometimes babe,” he chuckled, his voice low and husky as he guided your face close to his, his honesty sending a shade of pink across his cheeks.

It was your turn to feel shocked-did sucking his fingers really turn him on this much? You didn’t even think it through-you were just feeling petty he wouldn’t give you food….

“Yuuji, I’m-Im so sorry, I didn’t mean-“ you began to stutter, fingers gripping his white tee as if begging him to believe you.

Fuck, now you felt terrible. Yuuji knew you were a virgin, and he was incredibly sweet about it, allowing you to decide when you wanted to go that far in your own time. He never pressured you, never made advances or hinted at it, even though at times you knew he wanted it. And you wanted to give him that...in time. But more and more, you felt you couldn’t hold yourself back either-he hadn’t ever given you a reason to not trust him-so why not cross it off your bucket list?

Yuuji looked smiled, but he looked let down, the expression making your heart feel broken.

“It’s okay babe...I know you didn’t mean anything by it...it’s my fault for not keeping myself under control. I-I like you a lot, but I understand if your still uncomfortable by the idea of doing that.”

That meaning sex. But-you hoenstly felt ready for it. Sex didn’t seem so scary with Yuuji, and for the first time you felt frustrated he was being so thoughtful.

He gave you an innocent kiss on your forhead, that sad smile still on his lips.

“Let’s just watch the movie, okay-“

You pursed your lips, towering yourself over Yuuji as best you could.

“No, Yuuji, I-I don’t want to watch,” you gulped down your anxiety, mustering the courage from your chest, “I’m ready. I want to do it. Now.”

Yuuji blinked a few times, gulping down saliva harshly.

“Are-are you sure? You don’t have to worry about me, I don’t want you doing this just because of what I said or-“

You forced your lips on his, your turn to suffocate him with your skin. Yuuji let out a small moan, the vibration sending heat into your lower abdomen.

“I’m ready-I’ve been ready.” You said truthfully, tucking your head gently into his shoulder as you gained control over your breathing. “I just-just be gentle, please?”

Yuuji quickly shuffled onto his elbows, his calloused digits gently guiding your face to look at his, a soft, excited expression glazed over his face.

“Of course I’ll go gentle, baby, I wouldnt dream of being anything else but that with you-“

Yuuji couldnt deny it-he was beyond excited. He waited so long, so damn long to get to this point where he could do more than kiss you and only touch above your waist.

He spent countless nights fantasizing over your body, imagining how soft your skin would be, the sound of your pretty moans as he worked you into an orgasm, or the way your ass would bounce as you rode his cock. He wondered how you would sound not just saying his name but moaning it,( maybe even screaming it if he was lucky) or how you would look with a fucked out expression, eyes rolled back and lips plump from so much force. He had to reserve those thoughts for when he was alone in the dead of night, because he would risk an automatic boner from the thoughts.

But now, all his waiting, all his kindness was finally paying off-you were ready. And even though he had minimal experience, he was ready to make this the most memorable experience for you. He was finally able to know what the real you felt like, and not just some made up fantasy in his mind to work him into a orgasm.

“Just tell me when you want to stop, and I promise I’ll end it,” he stated firmly with a gulp, his voice gentle as he stroked your cheek.

He marveled at the way you looked so sweet, almost innocent as you gave him a nervous smile, nodding your head as confirmation. That bravery finally was ebbing out of your system, and Yuuji was feeling that buzz of adrenaline course through his veins again.

“Okay, I’m going to roll you onto your back-ready?”

You nodded nervously, a hum of agreement sounding from your lips. Yuuji swiftly flipped you onto your back, his body now towering over yours.

He looked at you, noticing you looked nervous but not uncomfortable, deciding he had the green light as he began to kiss your lips again feverishly, trailing down your chin and onto the tender skin around your throat.

He began searching for your sweet spot, noticing how you squirmed and mewled in certain areas, your movements small and timid.

Yuuji sucked on the skin gently, loving how your hands gripped the back of his shirt at the new sensation. His tongue trailed a line against your throat, suddenly finding a spot that made you groan automatically.

Yuuji worked on that spot feverishly, knowing that it got a rise out of you as his hands began to sneakily work themselves under your top.

You were so lost in what he was doing to you that you didn’t even notice how deeply his hands were in your shirt, coaxing the fabric higher and higher.

Self confidence began to diminish, cause holy shit he was going to actually see you naked.

Your hands flew to his wrists, wrapping around the skin and forcing him to stop.

“You wanna stop?” he instantly asked, his brown warm eyes wide with confusion.

You instantly shook your head.

“No no! It’s just-I’m not as...well, fit-as you and...I don’t know, I don’t want you-“

“Hey-“ Yuuji said softly, his large hand encasing your cheek and making you look into his eyes. “I think your beautiful, every part of you. Don’t even worry what I think, because I promise you that I think you and your body are amazing.”

You smiled small at the words, feeling flustered by his compliments.

“There’s my pretty girl-“ he grinned, his thumb rubbing the skin of your cheek. “You still want to keep going?”

You nodded numbly, heart beating fast against your chest as he slowly guided you off your back, his calloused digits ghosting on your skin. He took his time, making sure not to rip the garment off of you by slowly ease it off your form as gently as possible. Almost as if you were made of glass.

Yuuji tossed the balled up clothing off the bed, his eyes wide as he stared at your form.

“Whoa…”

He was staring at you, but in a way that was so different-he was seeing you so vulnerable for the first time, and it was incredibly new to you. You felt insecurity bubble in you again, eyes drifting to the side as you bite your bottom lip.

You heard him chuckle, his hands wrapping around your waist but not brave enough to touch your chest.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?” He smiled, his cheeks a rosy red.

You watched him lick his lips as if he was contemplating something, your heart thumping at the simple motion.

“Can I...keep going?” He asked quietly, searching your face once again for confirmation, and again you nodded your head as a yes.

His lips formed into a giddy smile, giving you a kiss as his digits trailed to the back of your bra, stopping at the clasps. He pulled away from your lips slowly, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“I’m- I might need some help-I’ve never been good with the whole bra thing-“

All you could do was laugh, finding that to be such a “Yuuji” thing-sometimes he was so incredibly cute for the strangest things.

“Sure, Yuuji,” you giggled, kissing him quickly on the lips as you unclasped the bra yourself.

You felt the fabric loosen, and your nervousness picked up again as your hands halted, still holding the clasps together gently.

You got past getting your shirt off...but now your bra just felt so different too. You would be totally half naked-this was totally uncharted territory again, another hoop to jump through.

Yuuji instantly picked up in that, hand wrapping around your cheek lovingly.

“Feeling nervous again?” He asked gently,

You nodded your head, breathing in a deep breath.

“Can you-can you take off your shirt?” You said, swallowing a ball of saliva from your request. “I’d feel a little better if we had the same amount of clothes on-“

Yuuji smiled, almost in relief. “Yeah of course! We both are gonna be naked at some point, mine as well do it-“

In one swift motion he had ripped off his shirt, not a care in the world-and for good reason.

He was built perfectly, skin taught against his muscles, your eyes fixated on how the ripples moved with each motion.

How the hell was he this fucking hot?

You must have looked like a deer in headlights, because Yuuji chuckled saying, “I don’t think I’ve seen you stare this much since we saw that puppy at the park the other day-“

You swatted his chest, your nose scrunched up as you surprised a chuckle, giving him a fake glare.

“For your information, that puppy was adorable and you know it,” you laughed, feeling comfortbale enough to coax your bra off your body. You shuffled against the headboard of his bed, bra long forgotten on the sheets.

Yuuji gulped, realizing you were undressed from the top, his teeth gnawing at his lip at the sight in front of him.

“Look whose turn it is to stare,” you joked, yet the waver in your voice showed your true emotions.

“How can I not…” he breathed, his digits gently trailing against your stomach, “you’re perfect.”

“-can I touch you?” He asked quietly, his eyes looking up at your flustered expression.

You nodded gently, Yuuji’s face looking as nervous as yours as his digits rose to cup your breasts, giving the tender skin a squeeze.

He just looked in awe of your body, not fully aware of what to do-until his thumb rain against your harden nipples, a small mewl escaping your lips.

That seemed to wake him up, his lashes blinking a few times, leanng in and taking you into his mouth, his tomgue swirling against the sensitive bud.

The sensation coursed through your body deliciously, a long sigh escaping your lips as some pent up desire seemed to dissipate as he worked on your chest, placing open mouth kisses on your sensitive skin, licking the buds until you were moaning and tugging on his hair gently.

He seemed to be satisfied by your reactions, placing small kisses against your stomach, trailing down to where your pants met your skin.

You were catching your breath from the moments before, that heat in your core growing even more without to the point you were depserate for any release again. HIs wide eyes looed up at you, and digits loosely wrapped against the hem of your pants.

He was silently asking for permission yet again, your heart swooning at how gentle he was being with you.

“Yuuji…” you groaned out his name, voice airy yet full of desire, “need you there-”

You heard him chuckle, hands tightening slightly against your pants.

“God, you make it so hard to control myself...” he pushed back his hair with his hands, a small smile on his lips.

“But we cant do that just yet...okay if I take your pants off?”

What do he mean "not yet"? Why couldn’t he just fuck you now-you felt a little frustrated but more excited for what he had planned, quickly nodding your head as he pulled your underwear and pants off in one motion, the garments dropped to the floor.

Yuuji shuffled against the sheet, his hands trailing from your hip bone, around the curve your ass and against your thighs.

He gently bent your knees, making sure to keep an eye on your face and body language.

You had your eyes shut, feeling heat rushing to your face from nervousness, the air chilling your heated skin.

This didnt feel real...but it was at the same time. You could feel every touch from Yuuji, his hands getting closer and closer to your heat, your body aching forhim to touch you but terrified at the actual act.

“You have your eyes closed babe…is there anything on your mind?” He asked you gently, the sheets shifting as he lowered himself closer to your body.

You peaked your eyes open, breath hitching as you caught a glimpse of his face between your thighs. He looked so kind, that small grin he had making your heart thump in your chest.

“N-nothing,” you grinned sheepishly, shifting deeper on the bed, “just wanted you to keep going,”

Yuuji smiled, seemingly relieved to hear your answer.

His hands trailed dangerously close to your cunt, your eyes watching his every move. Until he faltered slightly, hands trailing in the crook of your thigh.

“So pretty…” he breathed under his breath, his digits finally touching you where you needed it most. He trailed a digit down your lower lips, a starngled breath escaping your mouth at the sudden sensation.

His digits lightly travelled up, almost testing how you’d react, pressing his thumb lightly against your clit.

“You’re so wet, and I barely touched you,”

Yuuji didn’t say it with an ounce of teasing or malice in his tone-it was almost he was speaking to himself, in awe at the thought that your body would react so well to his touch.

“Please Yuuji, keep-keep going,” you pleaded silently, slightly embarrassed at how needy you sounded.

You felt him come even closer to you, his breath fawning over your cunt.

“Of course baby,” was all he said, his thumb rubbing circles against your clit, the sensations sending warm pleasure throughout your body.

You sighed, a moan slipping from your mouth as you clutched the sheets, so engrossed by his touch.

The gentle touches slowly turned into harsher rubs, your body loving the course of pleasure riding throughout you. God, you loved this so much, this was so much better that doing this in your own-

“Hmmm, Yuuji,” you whined, the feeling of being empty making your body squirm in an attempt to feel whole again.

“Just wnated to try something else-“ he muttered with a grin, his hands quickly latching into your thighs with a frenzy you hadn’t seen before.

You quickly propped yourself up, curious to what he meant by “something else”, the question in your lips as Yuuji latched in to your clit with his mouth, your body suddenly falling back to the bed with a heavy moan.

Fuck, this felt good. His tongue was really going at it, lapping up everything you had, pressing hard again your clit to the point you were moaning out his name.

Yuuji entered a finger into your cunt slowly, the new sensation causing you to hitch your breath, feeling his thick knuckle against your walls.

Yuuji broke from your clit, chest rising and falling at a faster pace.

“Are you-are you okay with me doing that?” He asked, a quick nod coming from you.

“Yes, yes it’s okay,” you said feverishly, hating how your built up orgasm was dissappearing. “Just keep going!,”

Yuuji quickly listened to your request, going back to your cunt and lapping up your juices, pressing deep into you with his finger, which slowly turned into two right after.

You could feel him begin to spread his digits inside you, the sensation causing slightly discomfort at how new it felt.

Yuuji noticed your whine and how you shimmied in his touch, pressing a kiss to your lower stomach.

“Gotta-stretch you a bit, I’m sorry,” he apologized, giving you a soft gaze, “it’ll be better for when we do the real thing,”

You simply mumbled an okay, beginning to roll your hips slightly to his fingers, already feeling used to it and loving the feeling of his knuckles against your walls, driving in and out of you.

“Fuck-“ Yuuji sighed, watching your hips roll to the beat of his digits, mouth flying back to your clit and sucking on it harsher than before.

It felt like too much, his fingers running deep into you, his tongue pressing into you so well that the heat of your orgasm quickly built up in your stomach-

“Yu-Yuuji,!" you gasoed out, your back arching as the orgasm rushed over you, sending your body into overdrive. Yuuji continued to keep going in a rushed state, tongue lapping up every last drop of your juices. Even though it felt great, it was still too much on your body as your legs turned to jelly and your heat felt overly sensitive to his touch. Your hand that was curling his hair between your digits was now pushing him away, forcing him to keep off you with a lewd pop of his mouth.

Even though you were an embarrassed wreck, Yuuji was smiling as if he was on cloud nine.

“You don’t know...how long...I wanted to do that,” he said between breaths, his muscles responding to each inhale and exhale.

“Obviously-" You rolled your eyes playfully, your pussy pulsating as you tried to get down from your high.

Yuuji chuckled to himself, sitting under his knees, looking down at the sheets with a conflicted look.

That’s when you realized you could touch him now. This whole time he was touching you but...you hadn’t been able to feel him once. You never were able to run your hands against his chest, or press kisses over his skin, or even touch him where you knew he needed it most right now.

Your hand felt shaky but your mind determined, eyes trained on his skin.

Your digits gently touched his skin, traveling against his collarbone from his sternum, the peak of his abdominals, right down to his pelvic bone. His belt was right there, just asking to be taken off, your blood coursing with nervousness as you reached the object. You looked up at him wirh big doe eyes, biting your puffy bottom lip.

Fuck, you couldn’t look any hotter to him right now.

“Yuuji, please-“ you pleaded, hands gripping that belt like it was your anchor, “can you please just-just fuck me?”

Your face couldn’t even more embarrassed by what you just said, unable to imagine you had just said that out loud. Yuuji almost looked as if he felt the same way, his excitement getting the better of him as he furiously shook his head.

“Yeah, yeah yeah!” He repeated quickly, gulping down a ball of saliva as his hands feverishly undid his belt. “We can totally do that, no problem at all-“

His excitement made your nervousness fade slightly, a giggle escaping your lips.

“Someone’s excited,” you teased, watching as he fumbled to pull his jeans off of his legs. Your hands went to gently help to guide them down, Yuuji giving a sheepish grin.

“Well, how can I not-“ he said truthfully, kicking the fabric off his legs. “You’re my dream girl, I’ve always imagined how this would be like with you.”

God he was too sweet-you momentarily forgot of the sensual situation around you, heart full of love for the man in front of you.

“Has it been up to your expectation?”

“Above and beyond,” he responded sweetly, placing a quick kiss to your lips as his digits looped around his boxers, dragging them down.

Your breath hitched in your chest, eyes glued to Yuuji’s completely bare body. This was the first time you had seen him completely naked, and holy shit did he not disappoint.

Was it even fair to be this pretty? He looked unreal, his body a masterpiece of its own.

You gulped as you eyes trailed down to the sight of his dick, the skin flushed pink, the tip a bright red. You may not know much about dicks but, he most deifnitely was not average. His length and girth made you both terrified and excited, wondering if he really could fit inside you with how much he was packing.

Wait- if he was that big, could he seriously snap you in half?

Would you even stop him if he did?

Probabaly not.

Your mind was completely enraptured by his dick, hand gently reaching out to touch it, your mind now curious of what it would feel like to touch him like that.

You barely wrapped your hand around the shaft, when you heard a hiss from Yuuji, his eyes half lidded as he was holding himself back.

You felt a power come over you, thumb rubbing against a vein in the side of his shaft.

“Sensitive?” you whispered simply, Yuuji groaning as your digits gently trailed up his dick.

“Heh, Uh, y-yeah…mmm” he tried to make some type of intelligent answer, but fuck, it just felt too good. Even though you were barely doing anything, knowing you were practically in control was turning him on. You were becoming so sure of yourself for first time-and god, he was loving how you practically looked at him like you worshipped his body.

Oh fuck-your thumb rubbed against the slit of his dick, making him groan deeply as he fisted the sheets, trying so hard to hold back.

The thoughts running in his mind were no where near innocent, and his body was desperately wanting him to just shove your pretty lips onto his dick, seeing the spit dribble down your mouth, eyes teary from how well his dick made you feel-

“No-no more, baby,” he said breathlessly, hand flying to stop your wrists from exploring more of him. “I won’t be able to control myself if you keep going…”

“But I don’t want you control yourself Yuuji,” you stated softly. You didn’t seem fazed that he stopped you, only more intrigued and desperate, hands gliding up his chest and wrapping behind his neck. You pushed yourself into his chest, the feeling of your boobs so close making heat rush to his groin yet again.

“Damn, you really do make this hard-no pun intended,” he tried to laugh it off, but fuck, do you know how hard you’re making him, how painful this throbbing in his crouch was right now? All he wanted to do was pin you down, making you scream, take you all night long...but he knew his pretty girl couldn’t do all that on her first try. He was going to have to make it slow...but god, you weren’t making it easy.

“Let’s start, yeah? If that’s okay with you?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed in agreement, releasing your hold on Yuuji and laying yourself down.

“Just tell me what to do, okay?” you said quietly, Yuuji’s eyes completely glued onto the beauty of your body. “I trust you Yuuji.”

Yuuji’s chest filled with pride at the words, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I promise I’m going to make this as great as I can for you,” he promised, a warm smile on his lips.

His hands wrapped around your hips, tugging you gently closer to him.

“Still up for it, pretty girl?” He asked, his thumb gently rubbing your waist as he hovered over you, his dick inches from your entrance.

“Yes, I wanna do it, I really wanna do it,” you repeated, your hips so desperate to find a release of tension between your thighs.

Yuuji chuckled, a simple “okay” dribbling from his lips as his hands lined himself up to your entrance, leaning into you as his muscular arms caged you in.

That first sensation of being filled by Yuuji were strange, your walls being stretched like never before.

You were right-he felt like he was going to break you in half, and you definitely needed adjusting to that monstrous cock.

It should be illegal for someone to be that big, cause- fuck, this kinda hurt.

“Wait, Wait...Yuuji-!” You patted against his chest, nails gripping for some level on grounding.

Yuuji was pressing kisses all over you shoulders and cheeks, whispering how well you were doing and how well you were taking him, muffled curses escaping under his breath.

You felt how tense his muscles were from the sensation of being inside you, your eyes squinted shut as you tried your hardest to feel comfortable around him.

“You-you o-okay?” He stuttered out, cheeks a cute shade of pink.

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed, nodding your head quickly as the sensation slowly ebbed into pleasure, “keep going-“

Yuuji took no time, slipping himself fully into you slowly. You felt that slight pain again, Yuuji kissing you to swallow your moans. Your back arched slightly from the feeling of him inside you so deeply, Yuuji groaning of being inside you.

“God, you’re so tight-“ he moaned, not even trying to be discrete at he stared at your body.

Yuuji was looking down at where his dick disappeared into you like he was completely in awe, chest heaving for breath at the sight.

Yout felt embarrasment fill your stomach, your hands flying to Yuuji’s chest and gripping his shoulders as hard as you could (which wasn’t very tight, your limbs felt like jelly).

“Yuuji-please-just starting moving,” you begged, Yuuji shaking his head out of his trance.

“Yeah-of course…” he said hastily, a sheepish grin enveloping on his face as he dipped out of you, and pushed back in.

The sensation sent a small squeak out of your lips, Yuuji smiling at how adorable you were. His skin felt flushed as he continued to pump in and out, trying so hard to be calm with his thrusts.

It was taking everything in him to just keep going softly, and not ram you into his headboard. But Yuuji was too sweet to take advantage of you like that, especially on your first time.

“Yuuji...you-you gotta go faster,” you grimaced as he halted inside you, missing how his dick rubbed against your soft walls.

To Yuuji, you said the magical words that were solving all his problems at the moment.

He slowly picked up the speed, moans slipping out of him as he pounded into you gently, loving the sweet faces you were making for him.

“Y-yyuji...y-you-mmm...you-gotta be...more-quiet,” you trembled between thrusts, your skin clammy with sweat and voice taking on a whiny tone as you tried to calm down your huney boyfriend.

“Hmm...babe,I-I can’t,” he groaned, “y-you just feels so good…well just say we-fuck... we- we were watching Fifty Shades of Grey- or..or something-"

You couldnt help but giggle at his words, the idea so silly coming out of him, a moan being ripped out of you suddenly as he hit a sweet spot inside you.

Yuuji picked up the pace after that, the sound of skin making a lewd echo through Yuuji’s small room. Anybody walking by could put two and two together, especially from the obnoxiously thin walls. But at that point, you couldn’t find a reason to care. The only thing on your mind was Yuuji’s dick slipping in and out, his pretty moans that he was only making because of you, the kisses he left on your skin, the way he praised you like you were the best thing in his life.

That build up of heat in your core began again, your legs spazzing at the overwhelming sensation.

“Baby, I’m gonna-“ Yuuji began to tell you, his thrusts now becoming way harsher to the point you were gripping onto his back just to feel connected to the ground.

“Me too,” you sighed tightly, trying to give him a smile that turned into a lewd expression as he hit that sweet spot deep inside you again.

You felt Yuuji’s dick twitch deep inside you, pausing slightly as warmth filled your walls. He stopped moving, catching his breath as his pink hair tickled your forehead.

You scrambled to grip his back, desperation in your voice as you whispered, “Please keep going”, needy to find your release.

“Sweet girl..” he chuckled breathlessly, obviously on cloud nine as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

Itadori did exactly that as he was told, pushing deep inside you to that delicious sweet spot, making you moan at the sensation. He picked up the pace, that warm knot in your stomach growing at a much faster pace. It felt like earlier, but so much more intense, making your brain turn to mush and your legs into jelly.

Yuuji was back at it with his sweet nothings, his words practically sobbed out from his overstimulation (poor thing).

“Cmon, please make that face again, god you look so pretty like that-“

“You doing okay? It feel good?”

“Fuck, you’re so tight fuck fuck fuck-“

You’re nails were gripping his shoulders, the slight sting making his arousal kick in even more, your moans of “I’m close-“ sending a shiver down his spine.

“Y-Yuuji-“ you cried out, his dick hitting that spot that made your whole world finally tumble, eyes rolling back and back arching as the shock wave rose through your body.

It felt so good, so so warm….you’d never get enough of this feeling.

You were breathing hard...but god that felt amazing. Even as you brought down from your high, you couldn’t help but smile. It just blissful, like a calm after a very (horny) storm.

Yuuji was trying to catch his breath as well, a sheepish grin on his face as he hovered your body, skin blushing red.

He gently pulled himself from you, that sensation of being empty making you feel slightly sad that it was over.

Oh well- there was always next time.

“So...uh-how was it?” He asked, his voice incredibly shy.

What he really meant was “How was I?”, that little bit of insecurity making your heart thump in your chest.

“You were perfect, Yuuji,” you smiled tiredly, digits wrapping around his cheeks as he beamed at you. He was just so adorable, like a proud puppy who was happy they pleased their owner.

“Good…” he smiled in relief, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He laid his body on yours, snuggling into your shoulder, which coaxed a giggle out of you at how needy he was being.

You tenderly brushed his damp hair off his forehead, twisting the pink strands around your finger, creating light curls in his soft hair.

An idea popped in your head, the image causing you to smile sheepishly.

“Hey Yuuji-” you asked, hearing a hum of recognition coming from his chest.

“Uh, next time, think I could take the lead?”

He instantly picked up his head, a little too excitedly.

“You mean… you be on top?”

“Yeah, why not- you took such could care of me,” you smiled, digits tracing his facial features, thumb barely grazing against his lip, “I want to return the favor.”

Yuuji gulped, eyes blown out in shock and excitement he was trying desperately to calm down.

“Y-yeah, uh, sure!” he chuckled gently, shuffling awkwardly on top of you.

You squinted your eyes mischievuosly, as you chuckled.

“You just got turned on again, didnt you?”

“Aw, cmon babe, how could I not?” he whined, trying to defend himself. “You said that way too hot!”

Bonus:

Yuuji had offered to take you out for ramen and some ice cream, feeling a little bad that when you tried to get up to the bathroom you could barely walk without limping like an old person.

Dressed up in one Yuuji’s old shirts you loved, a messy bun, and your favorite pair of shoes, you were holding hands with your boyfriend until you relaized you forgot your phone, running back to his room to get it.

Yuuji was left all alone, waiting for you outside as he noticed Megumi walk by.

“Hey Fushiguro!” Yuuji waved, a big smile on his face, “Me and y/n were gonna get some ramen! Wanna join?”

Megumi stopped, giving Yuuji a very painful, strained look, as if he couldnt bring himself to look at him.

“Is everything good Fushiguro?” Yuuji was honestly confused, tilting his head to the side.

Megumi sighed tightly, finally able to look his friend in the eye.

“The hell were you doing in your room earlier? I was trying to sleep and- uh…”

Yuuji had never seen his friend tongue tied, and honestly, he was too. He couldnt just tell him he was having sex- that would be so embrassing to say to him, no matter how close they were as friends.

So, Yuuji being Yuuji, he said the first thing he could think of.

“Uh- watching Fifty Shades of Grey?” he replied sheepishly, wishing he could kick himself after seeing Megumi’s very confused and slightly disgusted face.

Yuuji chuckled, scratching the back of head- damn him and his brain! He couldnt think of anything that sounded less creepy?

Both boys heard footsteps behind Yuuji, Megumi the first to see the person coming.

Suddenly, his cheeks turned a bright shade of red, eyes widened as he put two and two together.

“Right….” he drawled out, giving Yuuji a look that said “you're the worst liar Ive ever known”.

There you were, cheeks flushed, wearing a shirt a few sizes too big with messy hair and a slight limp to your walk.

Yeah, poor Yuuj was going to have to pay back Fushiguro. Big time.

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham Reviews: Car (Patreon Review for Emma Fici) “The Green Eggs and Ham Circle of Hell”

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my monthly reviews of green eggs and ham for my patron Emma Fici. If you too want a review a month simply join the 5 dollar tier on my patreon, link is HERE. Join soon won’t you, new  month starts saturday and if you join by then i’ll add your review to the schedule and the 5 dollars helps reach my next set of stretch goals. So join me won’t you?

Plugging aside we’re back as Sam and Guy finally properly hit the road, we find out just waht the chickaraffe is like, and find out from Michelle that you can somehow make a second impression even worse than an already odiious first impression. So with no real background to cover join me under the cut on the road to meepville, come on inside. 

Previously on Green Eggs and Ham: Guy Am I, a failed inventor failed once again in front of a large audience, leaving his dreams broken and himself planning to head to Meepville to take a job watching paint dry. He met Sam I Am, an enegetic animal thief whose desperate for friends, and accidentally swapped suitcases with him, leading to Sam ending up with the Chickaraffe, a rare animal Sam swiped from the zoo. We also let Michelle a smothering mother who treats her child EB terribly by overprotecting her and is in general a smug consdesencing bitch, our main villian Snerz who has someone bringing him the meep and the BAD GUYS, a mysterious mismatched duo after the chickaraffe.

We pick up where we left off: Guy is being stalked by a mysterious shadow. of the chickaraffe.. only for it to turn out to be a friendly, cuddly creature as you’d expect, if a bit destructive as it destroys all the vases in the room, which comically are expensive and in general casuses chaos. it’s a fun scene. Guy gets it to sleep BREIFLY when his complimentary lullabye shows up, but it wakes right after due to the door slamming. 

Meanwhile Sam discovers the Chickaraffe, which he plans to take to Meepville, is gone, and we get a cut to Smerz who is not pleased his chickaraffe is delayed by someone and threatnes to put them in his wall if they don’t bring the chickaraffe on time because he’s the kind of sadistic dick who already puts a bunch of animals in a wall for his own viewing pleasure, why wouldn’t he threaten murder or imprinsment for slight inconvenience. We catch up with said BAD GUYZ with Mcwinkle sugarcoating the fact the boss is not happy, and Gluntz not only catching onto that.. but also having alreayd found their perp as Sam  bought his kite polevault and snorkel from Lem’s Kite Polevault and Snorkel (”Plummeting out of business”). While they do that Guy gets Sam’s adress from Donna. So it turns out sometimes giving your adress out to random strangers CAN pan out. The last time I did that I got shived by a guy dressed like soundwave on my front lawn. 

Naturally given Guy’s luck he winds up running into the bad guys who mistake him for the thief given he has the chickaraffe, and back him into a cliff with a net gun because that’s what BAD GUYS do.. or rather people with that acronym who don’t get how due process or a misunderstanding works. Thankfully Sam swipes their car and rescues guy .. it also has a bunch of hats trailing for some reaosn I don’t know what that’s all about. 

So with our heroes to the road, they swap plans... well more like Sam tells his of taking the chikaraffe to meepville and Guy sorta grunts out that he’s going to watch paint dry, with Sam.. not impressed at all and clearly feeling like he’s giving up on his dreams.. Which he is, and to Sam’s credit he’s TRYING to be tactful. Trying is the key word but given the man has no real filter tha’ts understandable.  Guy not wanting ot be an accesory to crime gets out and decides to hitchike. Same TRIES to get him to stay because he’s clingy like that, but eventually leaves and Guy is left to wander the desert. 

And it’s here... my patience for Michelle runs out. Guy is trying thitchike she passes by, SLOWLY, as in the same speed as walking.. and not only puts up a bunch of security btu calls him a weirdo, without actually ASKING why he’s in the desert asking fo ra drive, assumes he’s going to hurt her and her daughter and says all this within earshot, something he calls her out on. I already had little patience for the character but I assumed you know sh’ed get better, maybe have some depths or something that explained why she’ such a bitch. But no amount of depth can really.. excuse the way she acts. I GET wnating to help keep her daughter safe, I do , I get not wanting to pick up randos on the side of the road. Both things are necessary. But Guy... is clearly not dangerous, clearly not doing anything, and clearly about to pass out from heat stroke.. and you just ignore him and assume i’ts his fault because your a self righteous, smug, selfish sampler platter of bitch. I get she’s supposed to have an arc, so are Guy and Sam.. but Guy and Sam are LIKEABLE. Guy is a bit grumpy but beaten down by life and the world and Sam’s a bit in your face, but is clearly deeply lonely. BOth have things that justify it.  Michelle is later revealed to have lost her husband apparently, so I know she has some depth and some reason for how she acts with ehr daguther.. but how she treats guy in both episodes so far just makes her so unlikeable and there’s NTOHING to explain it. She just makes assumptions about him for stupid reasons and treats him like garbage and it’s nto nearly as funny as the series thinks. I do not look forward to 11 more episodes with this character and feel any time she’s on screen she drains the energy out of a show tha’ts bursting with it. 

Thankfully she’s gone for the rest of the episode, so Guy is free to have a horrifying heat induced nightmare about green eggs and ham. 

Yup. in the best part of the episode, Guy has a small breakdown and we get a horrifying and wonderful acid sequence wher ethe road melts, he’s stalked by green eggs, and ham, which is everywhere, and when he thinks he’s getting some rain it’s in fact green egg drippings. It’s just so delightfully batshit and unexpected. I love EVERYTHING about this. I admit when I woke up today and turned htis on I wasn’t expecting Guy to end up in a heastroke induced nightmarish hellscape with living green eggs and ham, nor did I ever expect htat but I can’t say i’m dispaointed. 

He snaps out of it when Sam shows up. Unsuprisingly Sam didn’t want to leave without him, and simply looped around having picke dup some green eggs and ham and some hot and cold choclate.. naturally he accidnetly gives guy the hot choclate first. Still it shows that beneath is all too pushy and needy demeanour.. Sam’s a good guy and genuinely WANTS to help well.. Guy. He looped around entirely aware Guy wouldn’t find a ride probably but would be too stubborn to accept it if he kept pushing so he simply went to get him some help. 

Even Guy’s stubborn Grumpusness can’t fight dying of heatstroke so he relucntantly agrees to be travel buddies and Sam nicely agrees to drive while the poor guy get somre rest, especially since the whole escapade with the chikarafffe liekly means he’s gotten no sleep whatsoever. 

And so as the episode ends this naturally goes pear shaped as Guy wakes up to find the car about to tumble over a cliff into a lake. TO BE CONTINUED. Next month

FInal THoughts: This episode was okay. I didn’t like it as much as the premire nor really have as much to say about it, as it just wans’t as deep... it was still VERY funny, with tons of great gags i glossed over, like Gluntz having the party she set up for her partner, he intends for this to be his last job, slowly back away as the job’s now longer thanks to Sam and Guy getting away. But while the first half is fine with plenty of energy, jokes and plto progression the second half just stalls: outside of the green eggs and ham circle of hell, there’s really just not a lot that’s funny, with Michelle being ungodly obnoxious and sam being a bit obnoxious, coming on a bit strong with Guy and never once apoologizing to him for getting him nearly captured and arrested. It just drags on and on a bit, and it just isn’t funny to see poor guy tourture dfor rightfully not wanting ot travel with someone who nearly got him captured by shady goons, or get rejected a ride by a self righteous harpy. It’s not TERRIBLE, I still can’t wait to see what happens next, but it’s a marked step down after last episode. 

And i’ll see you next month for next episode, here tommorow for the next chapter of life and times and if you fancy joining my patreon, I inend to have an exclusive review of Thunder Force up sometime this week. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 

[vendettacanons]

Repost, please don’t reblog!!

Tagged by: @yourlovingspy (thank youuuu!! ❤️)

Tagging: @maximuses (For Luna) @literiveture (for Faye) @ivestasy (for Val) @dcllmaking (for Ernie man) @devilsdecade (for Wyatt) @thxwxlf and anyone else who feels like doing it!

⚔️ Senses and Other Oddly Specific Headcanons ⚔️

For Lucas!!

1. What does your muse smell like?

Depends on the day. By default, Lucas tends to have the smell of gunpowder, rich cologne, and blood/ money on him. His work keeps the lingering smell of death on him, but it tends to be well-hidden beneath his fancy perfumes. By default however, Lucas’ pure, natural scent is very soft: he has this smell like freshly baked bread, still warm out of the oven, and the faintest hint of sea salt, like the oceans of his home still clinging to him from thousands of miles away. It’s oddly comforting and homely for someone like him, and the softness of it has gained him many comments about it. It’s a shame he tends to mask if under lotions and face masks and shaving cream and cologne for the sake of keeping himself presentable.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

The years have not been kind to Lucas and his hands show that. He has a few scars- including an old burn scar on the side of his left hand. His fingers and palms have some callouses on them from fighting every day. Sometimes against others, sometimes against himself. But even still, they’re not incredibly rough. He washes, moisturizes, and lotions his hands so often that the callouses don’t ever really have the chance to fully harden, so they just feel more like tougher, thicker patches of skin on his hand. Overall, his hands are very soft as a result of his extensive self-care routines, and the callouses and scars just kind of add a weathered texture to them. They tend to feel really, really warm. Unless he’s sick- then they’re ice cold.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Lucas isn’t all that picky about what he eats. As a child he ate whatever was on his plate, and as a teenager he couldn’t exactly have a preference for whatever he fished out of trash cans or smuggled into prison for food. Nowadays he makes his own meals. For breakfast, he tends to eat eggs either scrambled or in omelettes with things like cheese, black olives, pepper, and potato inside. He likes his fresh OJ or warm milk in the mornings. Throughout the day he tends to nibble mostly on fruits or vegetables, drinks plenty of water or tea— he rarely drinks coffee but if he does, it’s usually black with one or two sugar. Lunch tends to be light sandwiches. Dinner is the heaviest meal. He goes all out on dinners. He’s Cuban and Polish so there’s a lot of good food to be had. Stewed and shredded beef slow-cooked in fresh tomatoes, onions, peppers, garlic and wine, and served with white rice, black beans and sweet plantains. Or rosół broth and tomato soup with herring prepared in cream, with a vegetable salad. Desert tends to be his favorite meal. He’s got a major sweet tooth and loves sweets with his favorites being papieska (cake), pie, choclate/caramel candies, and ice cream (Rocky Road is his fav). With his schedule and overall mental health, how much he eats tends to fluctuates. He has a bad habit of occasionally skipping meals when he’s not in a good place and will go days without eating. When he’s stressed, he tends to overeat and mostly has snacks. His only real limits are his allergies to pineapple and raspberries... but even then he just tends to call Mike up and preemptively tell him he’s about to eat something he shouldn’t because it’s delicious. (Sidenote: he tends to be very protective of his food and does not take kindly to people picking off his plate. Suffice to say, sharing his food with someone is a very big deal.)

As you can probably tell, food is very important to this man.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Oh yeah. Lucas is actively involved in his churches’ choirs- has been since he was a little boy. He has a deep love for music overall, having learned how to play guitar and the piano from his father. He loves singing the most though and he’s damn good at it too. It’s another thing that’s very important to him, much like cooking, because in practicing it he believes he is keeping a part of his father alive and with him. He doesn’t do it often and definitely doesn’t like doing it in front of people unless he has a very firm sense of trust in them, but occasionally you might be able to hear him humming or mumbling quietly to him while he filed paperwork and cleans (the latter of which tends to be accompanied by dramatic dancing, of which he is also good at).

Fun fact: When he was younger and picked up smoking as a stressful habit, it started to affect his voice. After finding out, that alone was enough to make him quit.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Tons. Lucas has tendency to curl his lips back- yes, like a dog- at people when they’re scaring or threatening him. Or at least, when he thinks they’re threatening him. He tends to use vinegar and salt to treat many of his wounds instead of providing himself actual medical attention (there are actually still bullets stuck in his skin bc he never pulled them out and just slapped a bandaid on it). He overeats when he’s very stressed or scared, he stops eating when he’s depressed, he tends to avoid sleep for long periods of time. At some point, Lucas developed this habit where he intentionally keeps himself out of REM sleep in order to stay alert. The problem is, lingering in NREM increases his risk for nightmares, night terrors, and sleep paralysis- which he chronically suffers from. Additionally, it worsens his sleep apnea and only makes it so he never feels well-rested. He just takes LSD to make himself more alert an get through the day. Additionally, Lucas regularly drinks heavily to the point of passing out, smokes marijuana, and frequently seeks out one-night stands as unhealthy ways of coping with his issues. Yeah, he’s an absolute mess.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

Lucas like his suits. He has to have them tailored and custom-fitted to his body type and proportions, but he loves the feel of high quality suits. He likes the way they look on him, he loves the way they fold and winkle in just the right ways. He likes the designs of them. His work suit is his abilities favorite right next to tuxedos. Outside of work, his style varies. He tends to wear big hoodies and jeans and sneakers out and about. He likes warm sweaters and sweatpants, but he also like muscle t-shirts and yoga pants. It just depends on how he feels and what he’s planning on doing on a given day.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

Enormously. It’s just a matter of bringing out that affection. Due to his extensive history and mistrust of people, Lucas tends to be very guarded and solitary. He doesn’t like being touched, he rarely speaks— out it like this: he doesn’t want do anything that could potentially leave him vulnerable 2,000 steps down the line and accidentally reveal vulnerability to someone who might exploit it and hurt him. Again. He’s made that mistake too many times before. But in his intense solitude he is very lonely. He pines for someone, but he can’t seem to find them. He craves human contact but he’s too afraid of the world to actually look for it. Which is a shame, because if you manage to strip back the layers of his hardened exterior, Lucas is a very deeply affectionate person. He loves physical intimacy, he loves cuddling and hugging and kissing on his partner. He’d love spoiling them with gifts and seeing them smile, he’d love hoisting them up and surprising them. He’d love taking them out to places and sitting and listening to them talk for hours upon hours at a time. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for someone he loves. He’s just very scared because the people he loves tend to be taken from him, or walk away from him, or repay his love with immense pain.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

Like most things about Lucas, this tends to vary. He can fall asleep standing up. He can fall asleep in a chair. He can fall asleep in a car, or on the floor, or on some stairs. If he actually manages to make it to bed, Lucas tends to sleep with his back against the wall. Or if that’s not available, he will curl up with his back against the headboard and one hand under his pillow where he gun is. If he’s really really relaxed, he’ll sleep on his belly or on his side, but never on his back. He’s noticed that sleeping on his back tends to increase the chances of him having a nightmare of sleep paralysis event.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Probably not. Even in his own homes away from home, Lucas tends to be silent. He moves on tiptoe, staying close to furniture and walls, walking on carpet and avoid creaky or echoey areas of the floor. He’s very sensitive to sound and tends to tread lightly to avoid disturbing anyone, even if there’s no one else around. This is partially to stay alert and keep good practice at how to stealthily move around on the job, but mostly because living with his brother is not the easiest task in the world. Especially when he comes home late at night. Tipping Xavier off is not something he particularly enjoys because it often means dire consequences for him.

[themagicalmelanin]

11.5: Return Of you

A quick and awful...possibily funny generated fanfic I made on fanfic maker.com

Fandom-Mr. Love : Queen’s choice

Pairing-You/Víctor

Smut?

by Auroraroses

You were up earlier than usually. You were super excited. After all, today was your wedding day!

You danced through the room, sang a little bit and couldn't wait until the evening.

Oh, how excited you were! Today, you would finally be married to Victor! (A/N Oh yeah, you are ghey. If you wanna know how that happened, read my other stories!)

Of course for this day, you had chosen the best wedding cake. And the best wedding catering. And invited all your friends to come (except Williw cuz she's a bitch).

Victor himself was also up early in the morning, doing his morning stretches and excercise so he'd look nice and buff in his suit.

You were trying out your wedding dress in front of the mirror There had been a mixup at the dresser but Victor thought it was kind of funny so they went along with it.

But of course, most importantly of all: you couldn't wait until the actual night. See. You had a bit of a stick kink. but kept it secret so far. You felt there had to be at least one thing Victor should only discover on their wedding night! Oh, how excited you were to finally share that final bit with Victor!

The day was coming along nice. You received lots of compliments for your dress. Victor looked fabulous in his suit. His muscles nicely toned thanks to the suit being of just the right tightness. Oh, you loved watching your love. Those sweet lips of him touching the wine glass, soaking them up in the red liquid of the wine. Those lips you could kiss all night long.

And those hands, you looked at it. Abscentmindedly as someone else was talking to you while he did so. Victor's hands were so full with power. The way he grabbed your hands as they cut the cake. The way he held your wrists as you cut the cake into slices. Those hands would be soon on your chest.

There was a speech or two. Proclaiming that there had never been such a perfect couple as you and Victor. That the universe had never seen such love. And everyone cheered and rejoiced. And there were flower petals and rice raining down on them and there were songs being sang in their names.

Or so it should be. Because when you stood there at the altar about to give your word to Victor. Suddenly! An ExplosioN!

And from the smoke arised no one else but Williw!

"Stop! You are making a mistake!" Williw said. "I should be with Victor!!"

~~~~~ A/N Oooooh! Bet you didn't expect that! Sorry ClarisaTheBeautiful, I no I told you I wouldn't do that, but I did! hAHAHAHA! ~~~~ Onto the next chappie!

---

A little Later, You was taking a shit.

He was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" You exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.

Just as You was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...You" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. His deep, sensual voice which You knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face and groinal area.

"Victor... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

He appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However He couldn't with You near by....they were like family now.Victor was like His grandma.

Any sane person would never allow their own grandma to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty You?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" You shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? Victor heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Your spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, You..."

You was not shy, at all. He defeated Lucien and blew up His evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical grandma literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a choclate source on the banana split of love that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said Victor finishing the sentence with a sly smile.

"Wh-what the..." and before You could send the third word out of His mouth..

..Victor's towel dropped to the floor,setting his swingy bits free into the mist of the shower.

You noticed everything on him instantly. His soft butt,his magically gravity-defying middle leg and the tiny thingy colored birth mark on his butt, which made Him feel funny...as He had one there too.

Still, the sight of his near perfect body caused Your penis to become very hard. It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.

"hehe oh my You...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Victor, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. Him shapely body was everything You could want in something to wank to. Yet did family like relationship matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!!

But just as You was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

You burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" you said as he causally slipped his pants back on.

Victor, who You didnt notice, picked up his towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" You gestured to his shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So You put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didnt feel so bad now.

As he walked out Victor whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

You Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

---

The woman stood atop of the rubble while from everywhere Lackys came from. They tied up all the wedding guests (and Gavin, who had been the priest, too!).

"I knew something was up," Williw said. "You sounded way too happy last time we spat insults at each other." She said as she walked down from the rubble into the wedding area. "Of course, there was also this."

She took out a paper and folded it into an aeroplane. Then she fired it at you.

You opened it up and saw... it was their wedding invitation.

Williw laughed loudly, "Oh yeah, you were willing to invite Lucien but not me?! So I did what I had the right to do... I went to Lucien and I defeated him and took his invitation.

You knew that Williw could be powerful. Oh yeah, before Williw turned out to be such a collosal biatch, they had been fighting Lucien together. But you didn't know that Williw could have defeated Lucien...as long as she had enough motivation!

HAHAHAHAAHA, Williw laughed. "Now to enact my plan!" Because not only will I stop your wedding, I will make your wedding IMPOSSIBLE!!!

The minionss took Gavin and shoved him forward. They did the same thing with Victor.

Williw walked over to Victor and took his hand. "Now, Gavin, wed me! Otherwise I will kill all you love! And if you, you try to stop me....I will ressurrect Lucien!"

you felt like you were kicked in the stomach. What an impossible choice! You thought. Give up the love of your life or save the world from Lucien. It was almost as if fate or God set everythin in motion to torture you!

But long you didn't have to be in agony. Because you had a plan!

Victor winked at You when no one else was looking.

"Later" he mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.

---

---

Later, You and Victor were alone again.

"Its Later" said Victor, pulling You towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Victor was naked. You wondered how He did that. He must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

..You was already.

Victor lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off His body at a seductively slow pace. You could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.

The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his erect penis launched a mighty wad of semen directly onto Your eye.

There You sat, His pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.

Victor giggled as Your dignity shriveled and died, but You had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out He was His own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" You said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that Victor jumped on You. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." You stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

Victor hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from His shapely body.You stood up from the toilet, His naughty bits proudly waving about and His pants still down around His ankles. He hurried to chase His shapely body down.

He fell in the door way, tripping over His pants. He pulled His face up from the floor and gazed at Victor, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticisms...and You could see that it was going to be a all you can eat porkfest.

And it was!

Victor was soon ridding You like a pogo stick.

"Poke me! DEEPER! DEEPER! GODDAMNIT!"

"Oh God I'm going to hell!" You screamed.

You still had his Hawaiian shirt on and Victor was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

His perky penis swung around, like a happy child on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, You liked it. It was a big, beautiful thing that ached to be sucked on.

You especially liked that from this angle He could not see the awkward birth mark on His ass cheek. Which was a relief. You wanted to be hard and strong where it counts for the person He had always thought of as His mother-in-law.

"Oh You!" He breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "is what we're doing wrong!?!?"

"OH GOD YES!!" He yelled back at His naked mother-in-law.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES BROTHER!!!" Victor screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby warehouse down.

It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

---

~~~~~A/N uuuurgh I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it took sooo long. I had to find some inspiration because yknow, it fic did end in a really difficult cliffhanger! But after binge watching some netflix, I think I really got a cool thing down now! ~~~~~~

"Uuuurgh," you said, putting up your most bored voice, "Well, I didn't really want him anyway, I just said that to rile you up."

"What?!" said Williw in utter disbelieve.

"Yeaaah, I was just so angry with you over, y'know, that thing. that I decided that I was going to marry Victor just to make you jealous."

And then, then you thought of the one thing that would make your ruse even better.

"Because really, you said, I love you."

Williw stood there baffled. All the minionss looked at her unsure what to do now.

"Y... you mean that?" said Williw.

"Of course not!" said Victor and in that unguarded moment he knocked Williw unconscious.

"Haha, you didn't expect that to happen, hey Bitch?!" Victor yelled loudly and laughed loudly afterwards.

All the other guests laughed as well.

As did you.

And afterwards, when the police came and arrested Williw, the wedding continued.

And as you predicted. In the evening, finally you could show off your kink. And then it turned out that Victor too had a secret, he whispered at you, taking off his shirt and revealing that he had been wearing nipple clamps all this time. That was kinda hot as well, you thought and it became a really really nice night.

Although, deeply, somewhere... You felt a little doubt over your proclaimation of love towards Williw. Maybe there was a core of truth in it. Maybe their rivalry was nothing more than a elaborate foreplay? Non-the less. Now it was too late. Victor was your life partner now. Although... maybe... when Williw finally came free, you might be able to convince Victor to explore more kinks with the both of them....

The end

[toutallyahoe]

Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 3

ＲＥＱＵＥＳＴＥＤ ＢＹ:

--

ＰＡＩＲＩＮＧ/Ｓ:

Multiple Characters x [Name]

Ａ/Ｎ:

Fuck my life

Why does Tumblr have a limitation?

This is bullshit damn it

ＣＨＡＰＴＥＲＳ:

Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 1 | Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 2 | Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 3 | Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 4 | Celebrating Valentine's Day pt 5

═══════════════════════

｢ＣＯＮＮＯＲ | ＲＫ800｣

• has knowledge of the holiday and was a but excited to celebrate it

• especially with [Name]

• he had done his research on what Valentine's Day is and all the activities of this particular holiday

• he took note on the making of sweet treats and give them to their loved ones

• attempted to make a chocolate cake, which he found a recipe in the internet, early in the morning

• it didn't end that well

• despite being a highly advance android

• he sucked at cooking

• like, seriously sucked at it

• may or may not have set the fire alarm

• causing to woken up [Name] from all the noises he was making

• poor tired [Hair color] haired male went into the kitchen to see Connor holding a badly burnt cake

• "C... Connor, what are you doing?"

• " It was your Valentine's Day surprise..."

• poor robo-boi didn't know what to do

• [Name] looked at Connor than at the cake again, then back at Connor

• softly sighing as he then amusedly smiled

• "How about let's make something together, okay?"

• after cleaning the kitchen from Connor's mess, the two started working

• followed the instructions rather carefully and precisely, the two worked

• in the middle of making the batter though, the android got flour all over him making [Name] laugh and say how adorable he was

• Connor responded with his own laugh with a faint blush on his cheeks

• there was also the time where they had a mini food fight when Connor had accidentally gotten [Name] some chocolate icing

• jokingly, the [Hair color] haired male threw some more flour on the android

• then it went downhill there

• a mini food fight

• which made them making the cake a bit more slower but they didn't mind

• Connor and [Name] had fun and that's all that matters fir the two

• in the end, Connor and [Name] managed to make a decent choclate cake

• a lot of sprinkles was on the cake courtesy of the android who enjoyed the different colors

• as they cooled the cake down to be eaten for later, they ckeaned the kitchen up again and then took a bath

• may have taken a bath together

• Connor got his vampire kisses and the marks on his neck prove it

• after the bath, the two change into some comfortable clothes and watched some movies while cuddling on the couch

• overall, the two had fun relaxing and had eaten there cake after an hour of cooling it down

• "All the sweets in the world, I'd always chose you, love."

• [Name] had said as he softly smiled at the android who looked at him with fondness in his brown eyes

• Connor couldn't help but just give the [Hair color] haired male a kiss on the lips as he wrapped his arms around [Name]'s neck

• wanting to show his love when no words can

• [Name] only responded with his hands placing on the brunet android's hips and pulling him closer, their cakes just placed on the table as they kissed

• after awhile, the two seperated and they just kept quiet and looked at each other's eyes lovingly

• "I love you so much, Connor..."

• "I love you so much too, [Name]..."

• Connor's first Valentine's Day was honestly the best he could ever wish for

• cooking with his lover, cuddling and kissing, and just feel each other's love through actions

｢ＥＬＩＪＡＨ ＫＡＭＳＫＩ｣

• of course this cryptic fucker knows Valentine's Day

• it's one of the days where he can spoil his [Name] without the [Hair color] haired male saying on him going all out

• it's also one of those days where he knows he'll get something more than just hugs and kisses from [Name]

• and he couldn't get excited at what he and his [Name] would do in the next few hours

• he's Elijah mother fucking Kamski

• what the fuck did you expect?

• innocent and lovey dovey shit? Hell no

• maybe after him getting himself fucked

• but there won't be any innocent shit

• day started out with sleepy cuddles in bed and some occasional grinding but other than that, there wasn't anything

• the two would then proceed out of bed and onto the kitchen where the [Hair color] haired male cooks their breakfast while Elijah watched him with fondness in his eyes

• rA9, he loves the [Hair color] haired male so fucking much

• as his [Name] cooks, he was the first to break out on the pick up lines

• "Darling, if I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA HELICASE so I could unzip your genes."

• [Name] couldn't help but chuckle as he served the food to Elijah, he then sent a wink at the male

• "Maybe later, love."

• The brunet male would grin as he started to eat while [Name] sits beside him and eats aswell

• "You better."

• after eating their breakfast and [Name] cleaning the things used, the two went towards the living room where they sat on the couch and watched some t.v.

• Elijah sneaked a glance at his lover as he was already bored of the show and wanted his affections

• the brunet male decided to sit on [Name]'s lap where the [Hair color] haired male wrapped his hands on Elijah's hips

• he then leaned backwards to have his back hit [Name]'s chest and enjoyed the warmth and feeling of being protected by his lover

• the continued on like that until one of them was, again, bored

• the cryptic man, Elijah fucking Kamski of fucking course

• after awhile, Elijah turned his body to straddle the [Hair color] haired make and pulled [Name] closer to kiss him on the lips

• opening his lips as [Name] inserted his tongue and initiating a french kiss

• making out for awhile as Elijah longed for more contact, [Name] chuckled at how his lover looked at him almost teasingly when they parted for air

• the brunet was softly panting from the make out session not so long again, hair in a messy bun, and drool sliding on the side of the male's lips as a faint red hue on his cheeks

• "You must be the square root of -1 because you can't be real."

• Elijah rolled his eyes at his lover's pick up line and just pulled the male closer to him

• "Oh? Want me to prove how real I am, darling?"

• ended up giving this cryptic fucker what he was waiting since the day started

• good ol' loving on the couch

• r.i.p. Elijah's ass btw

═══════════════════════

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[sahu4you]

बेस्ट फेसबुक कमेंट फोटो (Facebook Comments in Hindi)

इस लेख में आज हम आपके साथ फेसबुक से जुड़ी एक बेहतरीन ट्रिक शेयर करने जा रहे हैं, फेसबुक हर किसी का उपयोग करता है जहां हम अपने दोस्तों से जुड़े रह सकते हैं और कई नए दोस्त भी बना सकते हैं। जहाँ हम अपने दोस्तों का स्टेटस और दिनचर्या के बारे में जान सकते है।

Best Comments for FB in Hindi फेसबुक पर फोटो और स्टेटस डाल कर हम अपने साथ जुड़े मित्रो के बता सकते है की आज आपने क्या नया किया तथा अपनी तस्वीरे उनके साथ साँझा कर सकते है। जहाँ पर आपके मित्र उससे पसंद और उसपर रियेक्ट कर सकते है तथा अपने विचार टिप्पणी (FB Comments) कर सकते है, क्या आप बोर हो चुके है "Nice Pic" और "Nice Photo" जैसे कमेंट से? तो हम आपके लिए कुछ नया लेकर आयें है। हर कोई अपने दोस्तों को अपनी DP पर फाडू टिप्पणियों से आकर्षित करना चाहता है। इसलिए मैं अपने पाठकों को हिंदी में Best Stylish Comment List प्रदान करने के लिए एक विचार लेकर आया हूं ताकि वे एक भयानक और आउट-डेटेड टिप्पणी छोड़ सकें। फेसबुक स्टेटस शायरी हिंदी में - Facebook Status and Shayari in Hindi Facebook ID Refresh कैसे करें? Unfriend All Facebook Friends How to Use Z-Shadow: Hack Facebook Account भारत में फेसबुक यूजर की संख्या बढ़ी है और फेसबुक यूजर्स प्रत्येक दिन 350 मिलियन नई तस्वीरें अपलोड कर रहे हैं। जिनपर लगभग सभी एक ही कमेंट करते है वो है "Nice" इसी के चलते हम आपको एक पूरी की पूरी Facebook Comments List देंगे जो आपके कमेंट को खास बना देगी।

Best Facebook Comments in Hindi

Best Comments for Facebook: यह स्मार्टफ़ोन और इन्टरनेट का युग है और हर कोई अब स्मार्ट है क्यूंकि उसके पास इटरनेट और एक स्मार्टफ़ोन है। चूंकि इंटरनेट भारत में सस्ता होने के कारण बहुत सारे लोगों ने सोशल मीडिया पर अपने प्रोफाइल फोटोज, दोस्तों और परिवार के साथ फोटोज को पोस्ट करने के लिए सक्रिय होना शुरू कर दिया। फेसबुक और इंस्टाग्राम सबसे लोकप्रिय सोशल मीडिया प्लेटफॉर्म हैं। मैंने "List of Stylish Names for Facebook" एक सूची तैयार की है। इसकी जांच अवस्य करें। नीचे मैं Best Comments For FB की एक विशाल सूची दे रहा हूँ जो की हिंदी और अंग्रेजी में उपलब्ध है , उम्मीद है आपको Comments on Facebook Pictures in Hindi का यह लेख पसंद आएगा। Most Used Comments for FB Fantastic!! Always Smart! Innocent Look! Evergreen Charming Personality! Dashing Adorable Slaying Beautiful Rockstar What A Pic Yr Who Is This Cute Baby Cuteness Overload Cute Baby Facebook Pic Comments In English Cool Dude Smart Boy Handsome Boy Superb Number One !! Pretty Good Stuff Ahhaaa!! Yeah, My Bro! Nice Pic! Gentlemen! 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Best Comments For Facebook in Hindi 2020

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[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck: My Valentine Ghoul Review aka A Bad Episode Even by Valentine’s Day Episode Standards

Welcome back Darkwings of the Night. It’s time to go back to St. Canard for the very review that got me to finish up my look at the episodes that should’ve lead up to Just Us Justice Ducks and the episode itself last month. While I probably COULD have reviewed this one before finsihing that as continuity’s pretty loose here, I wanted to see Negaduck’s proper introduction first. So was it worth it?

Yeah while I was glad to get one of my retrospectives done and free up some room for other stuff, this episode..was an objective disapointment and might be even worse than “Brush with Oblivion”. If your curious to know why and aren’t already lobbing a harpoon at me for bashing an episode you liked, join me under the cut. 

On PAPER this episode sounded really good. Negaduck trying to seduce Morgana back to crime and in general after Darkwing once again neglected her is not at all a bad premise and the in episode conflict of Darkwing’s obnoxious supscioson of his girlfriend being an ex con, COULD’VE been really interesting. But there’s a reason Could’ve was in all caps folks: This episode is not very well put together and it’s gender politics have aged like fine santa liquor left split in a bathtub surronded by toxic waste for 20 years, and tastes just as bad. Trust me I know. My colon still hasn’t recovered. So let’s get into WHY shall we? 

So we open with a date in a graveyard with Darkwing and Morgana, unsuprisingly though Darkwing isn’t the fondest of their meal which... look like someone scrambled the Star-Spawn of Cthulu. He’s going to be pissed.. especially once I try some. Look i’m very curious and very hungry. 

But things take a turn when Darkwing brings up diamonds, because he’s fully insensitive enough to bring them up in front of his girlfriend. She does take the truth in stride: he’s not proposing he’s simply hung up on a case of diamonds going missing, and no solution and thus might have to cut the date short. She offers to go with him but he shoots her down, saying the last time she helped she turned him into a rutabega.. instead of you know TRAINING her and helping her on her aim.  Then the episode looses me.. and about how long into the episode are we exactly? Not taking the theme song into acount?

Yup. It takes around 2 minutes, with some change. for the episode to become absolutley terrible. But first off Morgana suddenly flies off the table claming he dosen’t trust her for being a former criminal and zaps him in vengance.. which is assualt. Cartoony assault sure but it still hurts and his reactoin is STILL pure feer as he’s turned into some kind of ball... I mean.. it’s not like he can’t fight crime like that. Some of the best have done it. 

But still she goes to physical violence at the drop of a hat this episode and Darkwing seems more than a little afraid of that happening again. Just... wow.  I thought, having finished the Legend of the Three Cablleros, i’d be done with writing so poor a character comes off as a domestic abuser, mental in that case phsyical here, but here we are. Now this is untetional so I don’t blame the writers as much.. but I still heft some blame on them for being SO bad at writing a woman that she can’t get angry without phsyically attacking her partner or grasping the implications there. 

Oh and it gets worse. Yes, it somehow gets worse from “Morgana attacking darkwing for upsetting her”. Darkwing proves to be pretty vile himself, as when Morgana accuses him of not trusting her due to her criminal past.... he says “You know what they say once a crook always a crook. “

My.. fucking.. god.... the show is stacking unfortunate implications on top of itself like lego bricks. And yes attitudes towards prisoners were much worse back then, I get that. Dosen’t make it tolerable to HEAR someone spouting that bullshit, let alone our protaganist. And while it doesn’t make her right to shoot lighting at him, as she does after this or attack him before... it does mean he’s a massive, mentally abusive dick who refuses to trust his partner who reformed FOR HIM, just because she used to do crimes. It takes a special kind of bad writing to screw up so badly that two of your heroes are immensley unikeable in the span of minutes but they did. CONGRADULATIONS DUMBASS!

So yeah Morgana breaks up with him and he tries to go after her  and Gosalyn, who was there the whole time with eek and squeak,  decides she needs to get the two back together. 

I mean at least Gosalyn MEANS well. As a result despite her helping them not being a good idea, she’s one of the most likeable characters in the episode. At least for now. The most likeable?

Yes. REALLY. Now granted he’s as much of a bastard as always; After seeing Morg’s tantrum he wants to seduce her back to evil to help with his diamond scheme, unsurprisingly he’s the one stealing them and his plan to do so.. is not all that bright as he fakes being good to get into her good graces.. forgetting that he’s going to need to show her he’s bad again for any of his plan to work, as during the climax i’ts revealed he’s using a candy company as a front for diamond smuggling. Now granted that.. is actually really clever as no one’s going to think to check a shipment of choclate boxes for diamonds unless their tipped off and he even mentions starting a candy company earlier, so that being his scheme dosen’t come out of left field and i’ts  a clever misdirect that you’d THINK he was lying about the Candy Company.  But while Negsy doesn’t’t escape the contagious case of stupidity everyone’s got this episode, he’s still entertaining as ever and Jim cummings manages to make saying “Well be the best of pals” pants crappingly terrifiying. So Negaduck is a delight as always even if his plan makes little sense, as his way of going about it is still clever: he fakes being good and both uses this to make darkwing jealous, thus making him seem irational, and to provide a shield and also forces himself on their valentine’s date. He even gets past Morgana rightfully beign supsicous by playing to her past. So yeah not the best plan OVERALL but damn if he still isn’t awesome.  They visit a carnival, ah feels like home, though this one has a freak show where MORGANA feels like she’s home. After trying to fry Darkwing and making him look like the bad guy Negaduck manages to seperate the two in the tunnel of love then use darkwing’s own jackassery against him by claming he left saying once a crook always a crook. He hten.. comes on way too strong, first asking if she’s thought about going back to crime when they get back to her place and then isn’t resceptive when he just tries to fully turn on the charm. Oh and Darkwing walks in and thinks his gilrfriend is cheating despite her not returning Negaducks affections because he’s a douchebag.  Gosalyn is in the house at the same time as after Negaducks earlier deception, Eek and Squeak flew her back to Morgana’s house to use the Necronomiduck, which talks like he just walked out of Beast’s house because of course he does, and gets a love potion.. which they accidently spray on Darkwing instead. So we do get one of the few GOOD parts of the episode where Darkwing acts all buddy buddy to negaduck and Negaduck even gets rid of him just by telling him to go jump off a cliff. And the combination of Drake acting all sachrine again, much like posiduck, and Negaduck’s clear annoyance and confusion is just comedy gold. 

Sadly that ends and Drake returns and a fight breaks out with Morgana accidently freezing darkwing and when trying to freeze negaduck, he simpy reflects it back the obsconds with her ice cube. 

While Gosalyn and co thaw her dad out, Negaduck explains the whole choclate scam and Morgana refuses and they fight, with Negaduck covering her in chocolate.. then darkwing when he shows up as you’d expect. Darkwing however has buzzsaw cufflinks, a wonderful 60′s batman type gag, and saves them both.. btu the love potion ends up on Gosalyn who covers her dad and possible step mom in frosting

Thankfully it wears off fast, and morgana gets the idea to put the love potion, which is air born into the gas gun, finally getting Darkwing to trust her and blasting Negaduck, then suckerpunching him when he gets close. Oh and despite her plan being VERY obvious , Darkwing STILL questions her flirting with the guy. 

So the day is saved and we end with him questioning her order at dinner that night and her .. attacking him. And Gosalyng saying “Well you always hurt the ones you love”

Final Thoughts: .I do not like this episode. I do not like it on a moat, on a boat or with a goat or in any way shape or form even though that breaks the ryhme. Reviewing it only had me finding MORE problems with it. Morgana and Darkwing are so unsympathetic here, with her violence towards him making it seem like “Aw all couples are just the woman chasing the man around with the frying pan.. or lighting bolts in this case” even though that’s sexist as hell at BEST and makes light of domesdtic abuse towards men at worst.  Darkwing gets off no better, being THAT kind of asshole who assumes just because someone used to be a criminal they always will be. Which even in pastiche makes no sense as I can name tons of superheroes, a who USED to be criminals or villians: Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Luke Cage (Before becoming a superhero), Scott Lang Ant-Man, Hal Jordan Green Lantern, Cassandra Cain, Simon Baz, Mach 10, Songbird, Quicksilver, Rogue, Wonder Man, and Emma Frost. And that’s not getting into the number of heroes, including many on this list, who went evil fo ra bit and came back from it.. some of whom are on this list. Usually his black and white insanity schick works but the episode does nothing to punish him for it and instead makes Morgana seem just as irrational by attacking him. 

While this episode dosen’t use the love potion badly, thank god, with morgana even calling it a bad idea.. i’ts all I can give it outside of negaduck. The love potion and negaduck gags are both great.. but everything else is just so toxic and odious it makes it very hard to enjoy. And so.. this wins the DUBIOUS honor of being the worst Darkwing Duck episode i’ve seen so far. The plot’s weak, filled with horrible outdated ideas even by the time this was made, and no one is likeable, even Negaduck wears out his once he starts getting a bit too pushy with morgana. All in all a waste of potetial and a good episode. Until the next rainbow, this episode can step on a rusty railroad spike and get tetnus. 

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough: So Long Boys And Clap Like This

ON this hour’s episodes: Josh decides to have a vasectomy after a pregnancy scare and soons end up dealing with second thoughts and bostonian robots while Alex regrets getting his after meeting what are maybe his children. Then Josh finally sells a game but it falls through and takes up extra jobs to avoid telling his family while Bridgette is forced to get a real job on her birthday and Alex enjoys inudstrial humis. Clap Like This under the cut. 

So Long Boys

Aka the greatest vacesctomy based comedy episode since Brooklyn Nine Nine’s “Choclate Milk”. If you don’t know the show or don’t remember that episode if you are a fellow 99er it’s the one where Jake thinks his superior officer and friend Terry getting a vasectomy means chopping his penis off. I mean it starts off just assuming he’s making a joke but it becomes blurry if he’s just making quips or genuinely thinks that’s how it works. It’s also easy to compare these two because they both, while vastly diffrent and great episodes in their own rights: have a simlilar beat to the plot: a character trying to get a vasectomy for responsible reasons but being unsure they don’t wnat more kids. It’s just Brooklyn Nine Nine is more also about Jake being hurt Terry dosen’t think of him as a friend, a position he reverses while Close Enough has indentured pop and lock teenagers, a dark ride dedicated to scaring people out of kids and bostionan robots that sound like JFK from Clone HIgh. How does any of this fit together, let’s take a look. 

So we open with Josh and Emily having a huge pregnancy scare, which was caused by the birthday sex from the pitch trailer aka Josh trying to pass it off as “we’re just doing our taxes sweetie!”. In other words the main bit I wanted to see transfered to the show proper. And while there’s a few joke this scene is mostly played for drama.. it’s not out of tone with the rest of the show. What really has made this show work for me is it combines regular show antics, but with the added maturity of having an older cast dealing with growing up. A bunch of 30 somethings to start instead of a bunch of 20 somethings so instead of dealing with stuff like video game competitionts, guys nights, and dating woes, it’s more dealing with juggling family and friends, having a job you hate and trying to ballance your career with your passion.  And here is no diffrent: Josh and Emily HAVE no money, live in a cramped apartment with their best friends and a newly divorced couple which as we’ve seen isn’t always easy, and work jobs htey utterly hate and would have to double down on, snuffing out their real dreams, in order to support this kid. Josh outright says he’ll get a second job and give up his video game development which wihle it’d probably be miserable for him would be a sad neciscity. I myself do this blog on the side while trying desperatley to get an actual paying job, it sucks and their situation is compounded by having a kid on top of it who needs their support and attention. It’s stressful enough without adding a second child. Thankfully it’s a false alarm.  However Josh, in a show of responsibility decided to do something about it and get a vasectomy. Still being josh though, his getting one also involves a massive and hilarious vasectomy party, where a bunch of people we never met, and alex and bridgette obviously play party games involving pinning sisssors on testies and theires even a breakdancing sperm. Emily and Pearle’s reactions are gold to this: Emily, before the opening, tells Josh he’s not allowed to plan parties anymore, understandable while Pearle genuinely didn’t belivie they were dumb enough to have a vasectomy party and gives out an understandable “Damn you white people” when she’s proven wrong. Alex also gets set up for his subplot in the episode mentioning he got his a year ago, which given his and Bridgette’s relationship was probably falling apart around then was a good call. I do however like this: Something big happend and Josh is taking responsibility for it, while still being josh about it, but it shows how unlike a lot of idiot heroes in adult cartoons,he’s still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do what’s right, and has more than one brain cell. he has two thank you. So Alex drives josh to get a vasectomy, while Randy presumibly watches Candace as we only see her at the start (Peale was watching her during hte party to help keep her in the dark for now) and finish of the episode. Meanwhile Emily, Bridgette and Pearle have a small B plot having brunch mamosas and boxing up candace’s baby stuff. We also find out for 100% sure our heroines nationatlities: Bridgette is japanese while Emily is Mexican. Mostly because Bridgette always saw Emily with a bigger family and only half for racist reasons that get her handcuffed to a pipe by a drunken Pearle. This show really needs more of Pearle asa every time she shows up she’s a fucking delight and if the show hopefully returns for season 2 I could easily see her getting more screentime. Emily ends up in tears and realizing she may want more kids, which is.. resonable. Their only 32. While it’s resonable to want or have any amount of kids, except like 20 like that one tlc show... I never watched it but when the only two things you hear about a show you don’t watch is the weird, archacic dating setup they have that feels like it produces a good marriage as much as Charlie Sheen did, and that the mother won’t stop having kids despite it nearly killing her  multiple times and having you know 20, you kinda don’t want to watch it.  Anyway it’s resonable to want a family of any size you want, Emily realises she’s not sure she wants to stop at 1 just yet.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot Josh has come to the same conclusion after finding out that not only is this version of a vasectomy he’s getting permentant, mostly due to ball scorching done by robots, but after a hilarious but deeplly insulting carnival ride in the clinic that’s supposed to Scare josh out of having kids and features two teenagers fighting and pop and locking, a goblin and a wall just saying why why why why, impilng kids ruin your sleep, your romantic lives and are terrible. Josh however understandably takes offense to this, and seeing a brother and sister.. only make him not want to deprive candace of possibly having a sister oneday. Again while he and Emily are in no way in position for a second kid now.. they have time and Josh could easily sell a game at some point: he almost does in the next episode. ONe of Emily and Bridgette’s songs could go viral. Or Josh could end up finding a much better day job or Emily could get a promtion at hers. While not wanting to have a second child while they can’t support one is the right move, Josh realizes not wanting ot have one at all, at least in their spectfic case, was an overreaction to a scary situation.  Josh decides to think more, despite the doctor offring up some pubic scaping for extra, and he and Alex end up finding the Teens from the ride.. who are in fact real kids who look an AWFUL lot and act an awfl lot like alex and are basically indentured to the doctor,who treats them like crap and has them undder contract to pop and lock for him and look at his new pubic hair designs (”Those nights are the hardest”). Josh decides not to go through with it but the bostioan robots who do the procedure refuse to let that happen and leave Josh, Alex and the Twins on the run, while Alex himself reconsiders parenthood as he’s now proud of what he thinks are his kids. As the four are cornered it turns out the doctor is also a prisoner.. but an unsympathetic one since he can A) go home and B) is willingly collaberating with obnoxious robots to do a dangerous verison of a serious procedure to save his own ass and is karmically atomized. When Alex brings up his thinking the kids are his, they sadly explain he isn’t: Their dad’s a republican senator (Tot hteir shame the girl, who I almost forgot to mention is voiced by the wonder Kate MIccui, in her second role in a JG Quintel show. HOpefully if there’s a season 2 or the show stars having arcs they can find a full role for her on the show. ) and Alex finds his sperm he donated ended up in a dumpster.. but is determined to protect the kids anyway. Thankfully our heroes are able to escape with Emily, who sneaks ina fter the robots locked down the faicility’s help, with Josh bummed because he was proud for being responsible as the two discuss still wanting to have kids, with Emily pointing out .. this is STILL responsible. Not going through with something you have doubts about and having an honest talk with your partner is the responsbe thing> The five of them escape, and while Alex knows he’s not the teens father, offers to be there for them if they ever need it.  Wrapping things up at a skating rink, The Ramierz’ skate and Josh and Emily plan to do their taxes again later, though likely with a rubber this time, and Alex got his vasectomy reverse and is really weird about it to Bridgette’s annoyance. Also 20,000 years into the future subhuman cavemen versions of hismelf are the dominatne lifeform Neat. Overall this ep was really good, having great character stuff for Josh Emily and Alex, while still having some good bits for the rest of the main cast minus randy who I feel the show honestly forgets exists half the time, with drunk Pearle being a delight. But it’s the emotional core for both sides: Josh and Emily hastily deciding to not have more kids before wondering if they want to keep the option open while Alex realisses he might want to be a dad himself and his bond with waht he thinks are his kids and protectivness of them is really sweet. It’s also not lacking in great jokes; The entire rollercoaster of “DON’T HAVE KIDS” is just black comedy gold from start to finsih including the green goblin for some reaosn, the boston robots and vasectomy doctor are great vilians and overall the episode is just really good and really mature for an episode that also makes plenty of testicle scaping jokes. You can do both. 

Clap Like This

And continuing the trend from the last few episodes, we have the weaker one (though Golden Gamer was still pretty damn good), second this time around, though like Golden Gamer it’s still decent.  The plot is a bit simplier and starts with Josh FINALLY selling a game to two idiot tech billionares, Clap LIke This, a game about clapping along that actually seems really damn fun and I wish were real like Ladder World.  While Emily enjoys being able to spend money and her husband finally living his dream or so she thinks, Bridgette, who we find out has been on an allowance from her parents, is cut off on her birthday and has to get a job at a forever 23, one of the few times this show has used an offbrand and not nearlya s awesome a name as “Plugger Inners” it feels lazier if only because again, Plugger Inners exists. But as was revealed earlier, the two guys who bought it went broke and the deal feell through but josh, feeling terrrible about them not being able to afford the finer things anymore, hides it from his family and takes as many shifts as possible at plugger inners. He also runs into David Hasslehoff doing his best mitch von malibu as he just.. throws more money at josh to do what his son asks. Or nephew or whatever. I went back and redited this after finding out that really was him and supposed to be him. I’m also calling his annoying son Hobie for reasons that will be come clear if you’ve ever watched allison pregler’s baywatching series but it’s always fun to see the hoff in something. Especailly the time he made this really embarassing music video. 

But alass the 200 dollars Hoff made off “jump in my car”  that he gave josh isn’t enough and with him having taken all the insltation jobs josh is forced to turn to black market insltations including one where he installs a tv while jaws eats a guy.. I genuinely wish they’d used this song.