#if you want to know more run it through Google Translate it works fine w/ German

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

One night.

I visited Finn-san in the training room.

Rina: Excuse me. Finn-san, may I have a word with you?

Finn: It's you. What do you want?

Rina: I'm here to remind you that the deadline for the interview is today.

Finn: Oh, yeah, yeah ... no, why would you do that?

Rina: Ivy-san asked me to tell everyone in the apartment.

--flashback--

I just finished cleaning ... and Ivy-san contacted me on my phone.

[I can't come back tonight because I'm working on a composition, so please tell the others in the apartment ...]

I sent him my approval.

The reply came quickly.

[Thank you for worrying about me. I'm fine, and I hope you're not working to hard.]

(I can't imagine how hard it would be to stay up all night again. ... Anyway, I'll go tell everyone as you asked.)

--flashback end--

I told the other three, and finally visited Finn-san, who was stuck in the training room.

Finn: I see.

Finn-san, looking convinced, looked at me as if a thought had just occurred to him.

Finn: Well, you know, anout the other day ...

Rina: Eh?

Finn: During the Essence show. I tried to talk to you normally in front of your coworkers. ... That was too bad.

Rina: Don't be sorry. It all turned ou all right.

Finn: No, if Ivy hadn't intervened, they might have found out about you.

Finn: I'll be more careful from now on.

Finn-san looks embarrassed.

(He really cared about me. Come to think of it, he also protected me at that time.)

(He tends to look rough, but he's still a good person at heart ...)

His personality feels warm.

Finn: Well, don't worry if someone says whatever they want at work. If you show them how good you are, they'll shut up.

Finn: You can do it.

Rina: Yes, thank you very much!

Finn: Oh, that's a pleasant reply.

Finn: In fact, I think you've been looking good lately. You did a great job on the survey the other day.

Finn: As you mentioned, you've been doing a lot of things lately to help Ivy.

Rina: Yes. I'm mainly doing chores, but I wanted to be of some help to Ivy-san.

Ivy-san used to take care of the office's small tasks, and recently I have been helping him with those tasks.

Finn: Thank you. I hope this lightens his load a little.

Rina: I hope so ...

Finn-san's concern for Ivy-san reminded me of his appearance the other day.

--flashback--

Ivy: So I have to … work harder. I have to work harder than the others so that I can help … everyone.

Ivy: If I don’t … I won’t be able to stay in exe …

--flashback end--

No one knows about his complex, so no matter how concerned they are, their minds are at odds with ech other.

(How can I help him ...?)

Finn: ... Hey, what's up?

Rina: I-it's nothing.

Finn: You don't look like nothing's going on. What happened to Ivy?

Rina: No, um ...

Finn: I see. Is it a bad thing?

Rina: ...

Finn: Say it. He's our leader. We can't leave him alone.

Finn-san is very serious about his work.

(... Truthfully, I wasn't planning on telling anyone. But Finn-san is seriously worried about Ivy-san.)

(Should I tell them about him ...?)

Rina: ... Actually.

After some hesitation, I opened my mouth.

Finn: ... That idiot.

Finn: There's no need to put yourself down. What do you mean you can't be a member of exe unless you work harder than others?

Rina: I feel the same. But Ivy-san seems to think so.

Finn: We can't let this happen ... we have to tell the others!

Rina: W-wait a minute!

I hurriedly grab Finn-san's hand as he is about to run out of the room.

Rina: I know I'm the one who told you, but can you please keep this a secret?

Rina: It's something that Ivy-san's hiding ...

Finn: But ...!

... And then.

Jace: ... What are you doing?

Rina: Ah ...

Finn: Jace!

Jace: It's been a while since I came here to train, but I ran into an interesting situation.

Jace: When did you two start having this kind of relationship?

Kate: Y-you're mistaken!

Finn: No, it isn't like that!

Jace-san was laughing in amusement, though we hurriedly brought distance between us.

Jace: I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I didn't expect Aegis-chan and Finn~

Rina: No, that's not ...!

Finn: I said no! I was just asking her about Ivy's problems!

Rina: !? Finn-san!

Finn: Oh, shit ...!

Jace-san gives us a suspicious look.

Jace: ...? Ivy's problems, what does that mean?

Finn: W-what are you talking about?

Jace: No, no, no, you just said it yourself. I'm curious. Tell me.

Jace: Is something wrong with Ivy?

Jace-san bites back.

Finn: ...

Finn-san lets out a sigh, and looks at me.

Finn: I'm sorry ... But we can't hide it.

Finn: We should talk about Ivy properly. For the future of exe, we can't avoid it.

Rina: ... Yes, that's right.

(Surely, it's impossible to keep quiet now.)

And Finn-san is right, this is a problem that concerns the whole exe. And ...

(This may be the same problem I had when I first saw exe ...)

Tonight, Ivy-san will be in the studio.

Seeing an opportunity to talk, Finn-san immediately gathered the members of the apartment into the dining room.

They all looked uncomfortable, probably because I told them I had something important to tell them about Ivy-san.

(That's how important he is to everyone ...)

Since everyone hadn't eaten dinner yet, we decided to talk over a meal.

Rina: I'll get it ready, you guys can wait.

The meals for the exe members are prepared by a professional chef, so it's easy to just heat them up.

I prepare it in the kitchen and deliver it to everyone.

Jace: Thanks, but what about you, Aegis-chan? You haven't had dinner yet, right?

Rina: I'll be fine.

Finn: I've got some leftovers for Ivy, why don't you eat it?

Rina: Eh, but ...

Xeno: I don't mind.

Hugh: ... Housekeeper-san, let's eat ...

Rina: Oh, really? Then I'll take your word for it ...

So I decided to eat with them.

Rina: Oh, it's delicious.

Finn: It's pretty good. All you have to do is heat it up.

Hugh: Sweet ... I want more ...

Xeno: It's perfectly balanced nutritionally. That's all you need.

Jace: But these are for men. Aegis-chan, if you eat them everyday, you might get fat.

Rina: Would it be okay just for today ...?

... The meal helped to ease the tense atmosphere and sparked a little conversation.

(Before, I wouldn't have been able to have a meal like this with you all.)

I was glad to be included in their group now.

Jace: ... Let's get down to business.

Xeno: I'm glad you took the time to do this. It must be important.

Hugh: What's wrong ... with Ivy?

Finn: Rina, you first.

Rina: Yes. Actually ...

Xeno: I had no idea Ivy was thinking that ...

Finn: It's surprising, isn't it? Everyone relies on him as their leader, and there's no need to feel interior to us.

Jace: I mean, we wouldn't be able to do what we do without Ivy. We even have him write all songs for us.

Hugh: Ivy's songs ... easy to dance to ... cool ...

Rina: There's a lot going on with his songs, too.

I'm very impressed with the difference in the direction of the songs that Ivy-san makes for exe in comparison to his R2R era.

He also told me that he had been getting a lot of criticism about R2R's music for a long time.

Xeno: I see. It is possible that he has a complex in that area as well.

Finn: I wonder if that has something to do with why it's taking so long to write this new song?

Jace: He's in a lot of trouble. Don't you think we should do something about it?

Hugh: Worried ...

The members couldn't hide their surprise and upset at the truth about Ivy-san, who is usually reliable as a leader.

We discussed what we could do to give him confidence, but ... we didn't come up with a good idea.

Finn: ... We've been relying on him too much to begin with.

Jace: Sure. I used to get taken care of after a night out ...

Hugh: I ... had him wake me up in the morning ...

Xeno: What the hell are you guys doing ...

Xeno: I was relying on him for support, but I should stop doing that from now on.

Jace: Hm. ... I'm not sure if I can suddenly stop relying on him all.

Finn: ... right.

Everyone had a difficult expression on their face. That's how many roles Ivy-san played in exe.

Rina: I'll do it. I'm supporting Ivy-san.

Everyone seemed to agree with this suggestion.

Xeno: You're the right person for this job.

Jace: I don't mind. I'd be happy to have Aegis-chan take care of me.

Hugh: You can ... do it ...

Finn: I ask you to do it. We'll do it ourselves little by little.

Rina: Yes!

(I hope this reduces Ivy-san's negativity a little ...)

... And then, when we were talking about it ...

Ivy: I'm home. ... What are you doing here?

Rina: Ivy-san!?

Xeno, Jace, Finn, Hugh: !!

Everyone froze at the appearance of Ivy-san who wasn't expected to return home.

Ivy: It's rare for us to have dinner together. Even Rina-chan is with you ...

Jace: It's ... coincidence? We just happened to be together.

Xeno: Ah. We haven't even had a conversation.

Ivy: Really? You seemed to be having a lot of fun talking ...

Finn: I'm done eating! ... I'm going back to training.

Hugh: I-I'm ... going to bed.

Jace: Me too~

Xeno: I've got some work to do. I gotta go.

Ivy: ...?

As the four quickly leave, Ivy-san looks suspiciously at them.

Rina: U-um, you said you were going to be late tonight, so we were surprised.

Ivy: ... I'm having a hard time composing. I came home because it looked like I wouldn't be able to do it any longer.

Rina: I see ...

I get worried because I know his troubles. Ivy-san looked at me intently.

Ivy: ... Hey, Rina-chan. Do you have time after this?

Rina: ? Yes, I've already finished cleaning.

Ivy: Well, I'd like to ask you to hang out with me for a while, if you don't mind.

Rina: It's okay for me.

Ivy: Thank you. Let's go outside for a bit.

With that, he led me outside.

[tiesandtea]

Brett Anderson of Suede photographed by Sandra Stein. Featured in the German music magazine Intro, posted on its website on 27th September 2002. 

An interview with Brett and Mat that was done during their one day A New Morning press trip to Germany. Written by Alexander Jürgs. 

Original text in German under the cut. It actually says some nice words about ANM! The Suede, though. (Deleted that myself.)

Im richtigen Leben angekommen

Hype. Keiner erzählt so schön von ihm wie die britische Musikpresse. Keiner hievt Newcomerbands so hoch in den Pophimmel wie die Redakteure des NME: vom Proberaum zu "Top Of The Pops" in einem Stolpern. Was den britischen Musikjournalismus so besonders macht, ist, dass er sich so emphatisch für Musik begeistern kann, dass er den Mut zur Entscheidung besitzt, eine vollkommen unbekannte Band aufs Titelblatt zu heben und zu loben, bis die Balken krachen. Begeisterung im Superlativ. Remember The Vines. Remember The Strokes.

Remember Suede. 1992 schaffen sie es als unbekannte Newcomer auf den Titel der mittlerweile eingestellten, damals mindestens zweitwichtigsten britischen Musikzeitschrift Melody Maker. Obwohl (oder gerade weil) die Band bis dahin noch keine Platte veröffentlicht hatte, heißt die Headline: "The best new band in Britain".

Die Nachricht von den neuen Helden des Britpop verbreitet sich naturgemäß wie ein Lauffeuer. Nach drei Singles bringt die Band 1993 ihr Debütalbum raus - und steigt auf Platz Eins der Charts ein. Diese junge, neue Band ist sexy, ihre Mitglieder sehen entsprechend gut aus, es gibt Frauengeschichten zu erzählen (Sänger Brett Anderson ist kurz mit Justine Frischmann liiert, die später Elastica gründen und mit Damon Albarn von Blur zusammen sein wird), kurzum: diese Band ist so erfolgreich, wie sie eben nur sein kann.

Glamour ist der große Traum von Pop, und Suede leben ihn mit ganzer Seele. Sie geben sich androgyn, es sind die Tage, in denen Männer ganz selbstbewusst Kajal und Lidschatten auftragen. Euphorie und Aufbruch erstrahlt aus ihren Songs, aufgedreht und überdreht. Suede leben den Hedonismus der Neunzigerjahre perfekter als alle anderen. Ich bin ich, und ich will Spaß, Spaß, Spaß. Das ganze Rock'n'Roll-Leben, Suede genießen es. Drogen, Ekstase, Sex, Boulevard - es wird mitgenommen, was mitzunehmen ist. Und dann gibt es natürlich auch das: Streit in der Band, Zerwürfnisse, bitteres Ende von Männerfreundschaften. Bei den Aufnahmen zum zweiten Album "Dog Man Star" trennt sich Bernard Butler, musikalischer Kopf der Band, von Suede. Weitere Rauswürfe folgen.

Die fabelhafte Welt des Brett Anderson

Und heute? Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei, in jeder Hinsicht. "Das ist eine typische Journalistenlüge: Die Platte hat nicht eine Million Pfund gekostet", stellt Bassist Mat Osman gleich am Anfang des Interviews klar, "sie hat weniger als die Hälfte gekostet, viel weniger als die Hälfte." Mat Osman und Sänger Brett Anderson sind für einen Promotiontag in Deutschland, alles muss schnell gehen, 30 Minuten und eineinhalb Liter Evian pro Reporter. "Ich bin jetzt im richtigen Leben angekommen, keine Drogen mehr, kein Alkohol mehr, nicht mal Zigaretten - das verändert einen", sagt Brett Anderson. Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei, die guten fangen gerade an. "A New Morning", das neue Album von Suede, ist bemerkenswert. Man hört der Platte sehr genau an, dass die Band sich verändert hat, dass es einen Bruch gegeben hat. "A New Morning" ist ein großartiges Werk, vielleicht kein Meisterwerk, aber wer will das schon so genau sagen, so kurz nach Erscheinen. "A New Morning" ist viel mehr Songwriting als früher, weniger Klamauk und Glamour, weniger Elektronisches, weniger Keyboards als noch bei "Head Music", dem letzten Suede-Album, das vor drei Jahren erschienen ist.

Sie haben lange an der Platte gesessen, lange in eine Sackgasse hinein produziert. Der zunächst engagierte Produzent Tony Hoffer, der mit Beck "Midnight Vultures" aufgenommen hat, wird irgendwann und wohl viel zu spät entlassen und durch Stephen Street ersetzt. Street hat schon für die Smiths, Blur und die Cranberries gearbeitet und schafft es, dass "A New Morning" klingt, wie die Band sich das wünscht und sich selbst jetzt gerne sieht: einfach, natürlich, ehrlich. Anderson und Osman wiederholen diese Begriffe wie ein Mantra. Als ob sie sich selber noch überzeugen müssen, dass das jetzt ihre neue Welt ist, in der sie sich bewegen und in der sie sich wohl fühlen. Auf meinen Notizen stehen unzählige dieser Sätze: It's a simple record. It's a natural record. It's more much honest. Just me and my guitar.

"Hast du 'Die fabelhafte Welt der Amélie' gesehen?" fragt Brett Anderson. Er liebt die Figur der Amélie aus Marc Jeunets wunderbarem Film, sie ist ihm zum Vorbild geworden. Er mag, wie sie auf das Leben blickt, wie sie durch Paris zieht und sich an den einfachen Dingen erfreut. Er mag, dass ihr Ruhm und Geld nichts bedeuten. Es wirkt rührend, wenn er das erzählt. Und absurd. Weil Brett Anderson es nicht schafft, dich nicht arrogant anzugucken. Weil er den Dandy nicht an der Garderobe abgeben kann wie einen alten Hut.

Britpop Is Coming Home

Natürlich sind Suede noch die Alten. Natürlich haben ihre Songs noch immer diese grandiose Euphorie in sich, wie sie nur der gute alte Britpop kennt. Natürlich bereuen sie gar nichts. "Ich war es leid, berühmt zu sein", sagt Anderson, "aber versteh' mich bloß nicht falsch. Ich bin keiner dieser Idioten, die heute sagen: 'Ich wollte das alles nicht.' Ich bin keiner dieser Idioten, die sich beschweren, wenn sie auf der Straße fotografiert werden oder mit Fans reden müssen. Wir haben nie eine Rolle gespielt. Ich war immer ich selbst. Das war vielleicht eine extreme Version von mir, die da in der Öffentlichkeit stand, aber diese Person war definitiv ich. Ich habe den ganzen Scheiß geliebt, ich habe es einfach geliebt, berühmt zu sein." Und Mat Osman fügt hinzu: "Dieser Hype um eine neue Band, das ist so typisch britisch. Die Hälfte der Leute liebt dich abgöttisch, die anderen hassen dich. Für uns war die Sache großartig. Es hat uns geholfen, dass wir schnell bekannt geworden sind. Wir haben ja am Anfang niemanden gekannt, und auf einmal hatten wir diese großartige Presse. Ein paar Leute haben unsere Sachen gehört - und wollten uns groß machen. Und gleich darauf heißt es: 'They are sleeping with journalists.' Die Kehrseite des Hypes ist, dass du im Rampenlicht stehst, ohne dass die Leute Zeit gehabt hätten, dich wirklich kennenzulernen."

Suede sind zurück im großen Spiel. Die beachtliche Leistung von "A New Morning" ist, dass hier eine Band wieder zusammengefunden hat. Fünf Jungs, die gemeinsam Musik machen, gemeinsam spielen, gemeinsam eine Platte aufnehmen und bald auch wieder gemeinsam auf Tour gehen wollen. So banal, so schön. Den Zeitgeist treffen sie damit auch: Die klassischen Bands, die Geschichtenerzähler sind wieder da, während die Ära der elektronischen Musik ihren Zenit eindeutig überschritten hat. Gerade in England spürt man diesen Umschwung. Die großen Clubs wie Ministry Of Sound und Cream suchen ihr Publikum mittlerweile recht vergeblich, "Rezession auf dem Dancefloor" benennt Raphael Honigstein das Phänomen in der Süddeutschen Zeitung treffend. Auch aus Ibiza vermelden die britischen Partymacher erstmals rückgängige Besucherzahlen und Laune. Von den Bands des Britpop dagegen hört man nur Gutes: Oasis wieder vereint und erfolgreich, das neue Supergrass-Album wird vielerorts als sensationell abgefeiert. Und Suede - mit "A New Morning". "Du kannst jeden Morgen aufstehen und ein neues Leben beginnen", beschreibt Brett Anderson den Albumtitel und sein neues Lebensgefühl. Und wir dürfen dabeisein, daran teilhaben. Wie heißt der Hit der Platte? "Positivity".

Hype. Keiner erzählt so schön von ihm wie die britische Musikpresse. Keiner hievt Newcomerbands so hoch in den Pophimmel wie die Redakteure des NME: vom Proberaum zu "Top Of The Pops" in einem Stolpern. Was den britischen Musikjournalismus so besonders macht, ist, dass er sich so emphatisch für Musik begeistern kann, dass er den Mut zur Entscheidung besitzt, eine vollkommen unbekannte Band aufs Titelblatt zu heben und zu loben, bis die Balken krachen. Begeisterung im Superlativ. Remember The Vines. Remember The Strokes.

Remember The Suede. 1992 schaffen sie es als unbekannte Newcomer auf den Titel der mittlerweile eingestellten, damals mindestens zweitwichtigsten britischen Musikzeitschrift Melody Maker. Obwohl (oder gerade weil) die Band bis dahin noch keine Platte veröffentlicht hatte, heißt die Headline: "The best new band in Britain".

Die Nachricht von den neuen Helden des Britpop verbreitet sich naturgemäß wie ein Lauffeuer. Nach drei Singles bringt die Band 1993 ihr Debütalbum raus - und steigt auf Platz Eins der Charts ein. Diese junge, neue Band ist sexy, ihre Mitglieder sehen entsprechend gut aus, es gibt Frauengeschichten zu erzählen (Sänger Brett Anderson ist kurz mit Justine Frischmann liiert, die später Elastica gründen und mit Damon Albarn von Blur zusammen sein wird), kurzum: diese Band ist so erfolgreich, wie sie eben nur sein kann.

Glamour ist der große Traum von Pop, und Suede leben ihn mit ganzer Seele. Sie geben sich androgyn, es sind die Tage, in denen Männer ganz selbstbewusst Kajal und Lidschatten auftragen. Euphorie und Aufbruch erstrahlt aus ihren Songs, aufgedreht und überdreht. Suede leben den Hedonismus der Neunzigerjahre perfekter als alle anderen. Ich bin ich, und ich will Spaß, Spaß, Spaß. Das ganze Rock'n'Roll-Leben, Suede genießen es. Drogen, Ekstase, Sex, Boulevard - es wird mitgenommen, was mitzunehmen ist. Und dann gibt es natürlich auch das: Streit in der Band, Zerwürfnisse, bitteres Ende von Männerfreundschaften. Bei den Aufnahmen zum zweiten Album "Dog Man Star" trennt sich Bernard Butler, musikalischer Kopf der Band, von Suede. Weitere Rauswürfe folgen.

Die fabelhafte Welt des Brett Anderson

Und heute? Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei, in jeder Hinsicht. "Das ist eine typische Journalistenlüge: Die Platte hat nicht eine Million Pfund gekostet", stellt Bassist Mat Osman gleich am Anfang des Interviews klar, "sie hat weniger als die Hälfte gekostet, viel weniger als die Hälfte." Mat Osman und Sänger Brett Anderson sind für einen Promotiontag in Deutschland, alles muss schnell gehen, 30 Minuten und eineinhalb Liter Evian pro Reporter. "Ich bin jetzt im richtigen Leben angekommen, keine Drogen mehr, kein Alkohol mehr, nicht mal Zigaretten - das verändert einen", sagt Brett Anderson. Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei, die guten fangen gerade an. "A New Morning", das neue Album von Suede, ist bemerkenswert. Man hört der Platte sehr genau an, dass die Band sich verändert hat, dass es einen Bruch gegeben hat. "A New Morning" ist ein großartiges Werk, vielleicht kein Meisterwerk, aber wer will das schon so genau sagen, so kurz nach Erscheinen. "A New Morning" ist viel mehr Songwriting als früher, weniger Klamauk und Glamour, weniger Elektronisches, weniger Keyboards als noch bei "Head Music", dem letzten Suede-Album, das vor drei Jahren erschienen ist.

Sie haben lange an der Platte gesessen, lange in eine Sackgasse hinein produziert. Der zunächst engagierte Produzent Tony Hoffer, der mit Beck "Midnight Vultures" aufgenommen hat, wird irgendwann und wohl viel zu spät entlassen und durch Stephen Street ersetzt. Street hat schon für die Smiths, Blur und die Cranberries gearbeitet und schafft es, dass "A New Morning" klingt, wie die Band sich das wünscht und sich selbst jetzt gerne sieht: einfach, natürlich, ehrlich. Anderson und Osman wiederholen diese Begriffe wie ein Mantra. Als ob sie sich selber noch überzeugen müssen, dass das jetzt ihre neue Welt ist, in der sie sich bewegen und in der sie sich wohl fühlen. Auf meinen Notizen stehen unzählige dieser Sätze: It's a simple record. It's a natural record. It's more much honest. Just me and my guitar.

"Hast du 'Die fabelhafte Welt der Amélie' gesehen?" fragt Brett Anderson. Er liebt die Figur der Amélie aus Marc Jeunets wunderbarem Film, sie ist ihm zum Vorbild geworden. Er mag, wie sie auf das Leben blickt, wie sie durch Paris zieht und sich an den einfachen Dingen erfreut. Er mag, dass ihr Ruhm und Geld nichts bedeuten. Es wirkt rührend, wenn er das erzählt. Und absurd. Weil Brett Anderson es nicht schafft, dich nicht arrogant anzugucken. Weil er den Dandy nicht an der Garderobe abgeben kann wie einen alten Hut.

Britpop Is Coming Home

Natürlich sind Suede noch die Alten. Natürlich haben ihre Songs noch immer diese grandiose Euphorie in sich, wie sie nur der gute alte Britpop kennt. Natürlich bereuen sie gar nichts. "Ich war es leid, berühmt zu sein", sagt Anderson, "aber versteh' mich bloß nicht falsch. Ich bin keiner dieser Idioten, die heute sagen: 'Ich wollte das alles nicht.' Ich bin keiner dieser Idioten, die sich beschweren, wenn sie auf der Straße fotografiert werden oder mit Fans reden müssen. Wir haben nie eine Rolle gespielt. Ich war immer ich selbst. Das war vielleicht eine extreme Version von mir, die da in der Öffentlichkeit stand, aber diese Person war definitiv ich. Ich habe den ganzen Scheiß geliebt, ich habe es einfach geliebt, berühmt zu sein." Und Mat Osman fügt hinzu: "Dieser Hype um eine neue Band, das ist so typisch britisch. Die Hälfte der Leute liebt dich abgöttisch, die anderen hassen dich. Für uns war die Sache großartig. Es hat uns geholfen, dass wir schnell bekannt geworden sind. Wir haben ja am Anfang niemanden gekannt, und auf einmal hatten wir diese großartige Presse. Ein paar Leute haben unsere Sachen gehört - und wollten uns groß machen. Und gleich darauf heißt es: 'They are sleeping with journalists.' Die Kehrseite des Hypes ist, dass du im Rampenlicht stehst, ohne dass die Leute Zeit gehabt hätten, dich wirklich kennenzulernen."

Suede sind zurück im großen Spiel. Die beachtliche Leistung von "A New Morning" ist, dass hier eine Band wieder zusammengefunden hat. Fünf Jungs, die gemeinsam Musik machen, gemeinsam spielen, gemeinsam eine Platte aufnehmen und bald auch wieder gemeinsam auf Tour gehen wollen. So banal, so schön. Den Zeitgeist treffen sie damit auch: Die klassischen Bands, die Geschichtenerzähler sind wieder da, während die Ära der elektronischen Musik ihren Zenit eindeutig überschritten hat. Gerade in England spürt man diesen Umschwung. Die großen Clubs wie Ministry Of Sound und Cream suchen ihr Publikum mittlerweile recht vergeblich, "Rezession auf dem Dancefloor" benennt Raphael Honigstein das Phänomen in der Süddeutschen Zeitung treffend. Auch aus Ibiza vermelden die britischen Partymacher erstmals rückgängige Besucherzahlen und Laune. Von den Bands des Britpop dagegen hört man nur Gutes: Oasis wieder vereint und erfolgreich, das neue Supergrass-Album wird vielerorts als sensationell abgefeiert. Und Suede - mit "A New Morning". "Du kannst jeden Morgen aufstehen und ein neues Leben beginnen", beschreibt Brett Anderson den Albumtitel und sein neues Lebensgefühl. Und wir dürfen dabeisein, daran teilhaben. Wie heißt der Hit der Platte? "Positivity".

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

[rigelmejo]

7/16/2021 - other stuff:

I started translating the simplified print version of Guardian that has additional scenes! I am not sharing it yet, but may in the future at some point. (Notes for future reference: taking a picture in good light with the page flat, depending on if needed upping contrast so its darker/lighter in photos, then opening in OCR in Pleco works pretty well at converting the text to digital so I can make notes and edit and look up words more easily. Also so far 1 page takes 1 hour to translate roughly so keep that in mind ToT).

I am yet again tempted to to a full on Listening Reading Method ‘test run.’ By that I mean: picking a novel, (step 1) reading in english, (step 2) reading in chinese with chinese audio (repeating as needed), (step 3) reading in english with chinese audio (repeating as needed), (step 4) listening to audio only. Yes I’m still debating if I’d do step 3, then step 2 - since I tend to flip which I do first depending on the day. Also debating if I ‘prep’ first by listening only (I could call it step 0). Also still debating if I’d do instead: step 0 listen only, step 1, step 2, step 3, ~step 2 again~, step 4 listen only. Basically I did tiny tests with The Little Prince, and I’ve done 20 chapters of Guardian so far (which did help) but Guardian is so long I end up varying how I do it each day into whatever way gets me TO do it and Guardian is so long it will be months until I know what ‘completing a book’ is like for the process. The original forum creator of L-R Method would do like 3-6 hour books or like 10 hour books. Guardian is... much longer. Also, if I pick a book both harder than The Little Prince (so there’s more vocab to learn) and easier than Guardian (so I can get to a natural listening stage faster) I wonder how much progress I’d make. Right now books I am considering for a ‘test method’ run are: Harry Potter 1 (simply because someone made parallel text with audiobook videos already so it is super convenient to do L-R Method, also the book has  2600 unique characters and 7700 unique words so I would likely reinforce my hanzi knowledge and learn maybe a couple hundred more, and likely increase my vocabulary by several hundred to a couple thousand depending on how much I focus, I’m fairly sure I can blow through it quickly the only limiting factor is like The Little Prince I am not sure if the reading level is low enough that I may not pick up significant amounts of new words compared to how many I pick up from Guardian - https://youtu.be/NLu0JW6VtGM). Sherlock Holmes - The Hound of Baskervilles (the book is 7.5 hours so not nearly as long as Guardian, I could probably L-R Method it in 2 weeks, the novel is written for adults and a mystery genre so genre-words I may find more useful to me while also probably having a bigger vocabulary than The Little Prince,  P74 巴斯克维尔的猎犬 01 audiobook - https://youtu.be/hDKfUjienKA, full playlist of the sherlock audiobooks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1QFMgv0n_Y&list=PLVyDH2ns1F757P-m8MHckuIFqWapl6y-1, and bilinguis.com has a parallel text which I am checking if it matches the audiobook - http://bilinguis.com/book/baskerville/zh/en/c1/). Bonus, just one day I’d love to test it with Alice in Wonderland in French since bilinguis.com has an audiobook and parallel text - http://bilinguis.com/book/alice/fr/en/c3/. Or Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature, since that also now has audio and text and one day I’d like to finish reading it - https://youtu.be/0uS5WSeH8iM.

Fun fact: I am listening to P74 巴斯克维尔的猎犬 01 (by  知识改变命运 ) in the background right now and the first thing I hear is “qinai watson” my dear watson ok. ok sherlock i see you. ToT. Aside from that I just keep hearing random words I know. If you plan to listen to a chinese sherlock audiobook though - I do recommend this playlist. I’ve found a few sherlock audiobooks and for some the audio is very rough like it was recorded from the radio, whereas this one is fairly clear and the reader speaks very clearly, and has a rhythm to sentences (which for me personally helps me listen easier and parse out words). So if you know some words they are much easier to hear, and if you are looking at the parallel text I linked on bilinguis it is quite easy to follow along. 

I really want to get into the habit of some extensive reading with audiobooks (as in reading while listening) just because it speeds up my reading, and I pick up some words in reading while practicing listening. Its also somewhat doable, whereas just listening I may often get lost unless I know the material well. Last night I read chapter 1 of MoDu while playing the audiobook and following along - obviously I did not read as in depth as if I’d have done L-R Method and looked up all unknown words with pop-up english. But combined listening comprehension and reading comprehension I understood ENOUGH to follow the plot and keep reading, at a faster pace than if I only was extensively reading and at a much better comprehension than if I only listen. (My listening comprehension is a bit better if I’ve read the text beforehand, but that’s sort of artificial since i prepped by reading the text beforehand). Yes, I learn new hanzi better with slower extended reading where I have time to really slow down and look at the new hanzi a lot. But I’d like to aim for quantity of materials read for a while? I’d if simply reading more will help, but a lot of the general advice seems to be the more extensive reading you do where you can follow the main points the more you will improve. And hey, maybe that applies to simply ‘listening a lot more’ too?

A lot of articles I’ve found recently emphasize repeated listening, and I want to try to include that more in how I study. While I might not do it as intensively as some articles suggest, I can definitely continue to do it in Clozemaster and continue playing audiobooks of chapters I’ve read already (so I can follow the audio ok) in my downtime. A LOT of my chinese study lately has not been active, its been mostly just ‘playing audio in the background.’ So since I’m not studying actively much, I might as well try to get in more listening.

I checked out the cdrama Forward Forever recently and opinions: if you understand basic chinese JUST watch it in chinese because wow are the english subs a hot mess ToT. I tried watching with subs and there were so many clear ‘wrong’ portions I just had to turn them off, they were made from google translate though so I’m not super surprised (but Xin Xiao Shi Yi Lang has much more decent auto-generated subs so ToT). I’m not sure if I’ll watch more or not, but I can definitely tell it was adapted from a BL source material with the way the main two guys are immediately set up as characters and then meet. I also want to check out Secret of the Three Kingdoms but I’ve seen like 3 minutes and I already am pretty aware I’ll probably like the show so much that I’ll want to put the english subs on for clarity. Secret of the Three Kingdoms feels Very well made.

If I was gonna try to summarize what my study plan has been this month:  - Listen-Reading Method Guardian (its going fine), with some experiments on the structure of the activity - translate some of Guardian (not really study as I’m pretty familiar w the chapters so just rereading things, mainly its translating practice) - Doing a few random things in japanese: read Guardian in japanese, play japanese video games a little bit, watch japanese-teaching video game example vids a bit (basically more tiny bits of japanese I’d add up to idk under 6 hours? just me glancing at things) - Reading this japanese grammar guide (I’m 1/3 through) - https://sakubi.neocities.org/ - Listen to various chinese audiobooks, with and without text. - Read various chinese chapters, with and without audio. - Listen/Read a bit of French, in Gigafrench (i truly mean a bit like a couple hours), Dracula (just listening) - some Clozemaster japanese, and a tiny bit of Clozemaster chinese (mainly to pick up stuff in japanese, and practice shadowing in both) So - some random chinese stuff reading/listening/L-R Method, some japanese exposure/grammar guide/clozemaster, a tiny bit of French (mainly listening practice). 

[halfwall]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❪ ⠀   * ⠀ ─          hello!  i’m  so  excited  for  this  genuinely,  it  is  so  seksi  and  socks  +  soda  did  such  an  amazing  job  with  it.  eunjung  is  my  newest  muse  and  the  best  way  i  can  describe  her  is  if  you  took  a  garden  snake  and  aged  it  up  manually  in  the  sims  and  then  took  it  into  the  spore  game  and  gave  it  lips  and  made  it  a  predator.  in  other  words,  my  very  own  looks  like  a  cinnamon  roll  could  k-word  you  (  kiss?  kill?  your  choice  <3  ).  this  intro  is  a  condensed  version  of  my  goog  dooc  and  it’s  still  long  <3  pls  love  n  plot  w  me  anyway.  love  u  guys.

❪  kang  mina,  cis  woman,  she  /  her,  twenty  one.  ❫    i  can  feel  red  energy,  that  must  be  yun  eunjung.  the  third  year  print  journalism  &  international  relations  major  works  as  a  bookkeeper  at  the  house  of  the  lucky  gander,  and  is  known  around  the  manor  as  the  yellow  wallpaper.  i’ve  heard  whispers  about  how  they’re  critical  and  pedantic,  but  everyone  says  they’re  persevering  and  formidable.  i  don’t  know  what  to  believe...  but  with  cc  pulling  the  strings...

links:    google  doc,  pinterest,  stats,  wanted  connections.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

full  name  :  yun  eunjung

nickname(s) /  alias(es)  :  emma  yoon  (  english  name,  not  used  ),  tbd

age  /  dob  :  twenty  one  /  apr  18  ‘99

hometown  :  tbd  ,  oregon

current  location :  fortuna  ,  maine

ethnicity :  korean

nationality  :  english

gender  :  cis  woman

pronouns  :  she  /  her

orientation  :  bisexual

religion :  agnostic.

family :  yun  hajun  (  father,  alive  ),  han  minji  (  mother,  alive  ),  yun  eunsang  (  twin  brother,  status  unknown  ),  yun  sangjung  (  younger  brother,  deceased  ).

face  claim  :  kang  mina

language(s)  spoken  :  korean  (  first  language  ),  english

speech :  sharp  tongued.  she’s  a  lot  of  opinions  and  a  lot  of  things  to  say,  therefore  has  never  learned  how  to  phrase  things  in  a  way  that  would  deem  her  polite.  often  blunt,  she’ll  be  quick  to  rip  off  the  bandaid  and  just  say  what  needs  to  be  said.  she  doesn’t  speak  with  much  class  or  extravagancies,  rather  falls  toward  crassness  and  crudeness  due  to  her  upbringing.

hair  :  quite  dark,  a  nice  chocolate  in  the  sun  and  a  cool  onyx  in  the  dark.  often  tied  back,  though  eunjung  is  only  ever  seen  with  her  hair  in  two  distinct  styles:  tied  back  messily  or  let  down  naturally.  her  hair  falls  straight  as  if  it’s  been  flat  ironed.

eyes :  big,  round,  and  doe  eyed,  a  dark  brown  in  color.  quite  the  weapon  to  use  when  she’s  in  trouble  or  when  she  needs  to  talk  her  way  out  of  something  (  to  proclaim  innocence  ).

height  :  five  feet  ,  seven  inches.

build  :  lithe.  as  a  former  volleyball  player,  she  has  kept  her  shape  up  with  rigorous  conditioning  (  mainly  because  if  she’s  to  admit  it,  if  she  doesn’t  she  kind  of  gets  lost  in  the  walls  ).

tattoos  :  none  .

piercings :  only  earlobes  .

scars  :  multiple  from  surgeries  at  sixteen.

clothing  style  :  preppy,  thanks  to  her  settlement  money  and  her  own  personal  taste.  never  a  hair  out  of  place  due  to  her  perfectionistic  personality  and  nature,  though  if  you  catch  her  on  any  given  night,  you’ll  see  her  true  colors  shine  through  with  old  (  very  old  )  sweatpants  and  a  hoodie  that  has  someone  else’s  name  written  on  the  tag  in  hangul.

usual  expression  :  sour,  bitter  –  life  has  handed  her  a  poor  hand  and  she’ll  make  it  everyone’s  problem.  she  has  one  usual  expression  and  it’s  resting  mean  face;  not  the  kind  of  person  to  wear  her  heart  on  her  sleeve,  she  looks  the  exact  same  when  she  looks  happy  as  she  does  sad,  though  –  she’s  great  at  acting  and  lying  and  you’ve  never  lived  until  you’ve  watched  her  go  from  :|  to  :)  in  two  seconds.

distinguishing  characteristics  :  doe  eyes  that  scream  tragedy  –  reflecting  the  stars  in  the  night  sky  if  caught  just  right,  the  tilt  of  her  lips  when  she  clearly  wants  something  to  work  in  her  favor.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

❪  almost  directly  copied  from  my  google  doc  i’m  sorry  ❫ 

mbti:   istj-a,  the  logistician  /  most  who  know  her  would  assume  her  to  be  extroverted.  not  the  most  reserved  in  a  room  and  always  quick  to  speak  up  when  she  deems  it  necessary.  but,  like  most  logisticians  –  she’s  always  had  a  sharp,  fact-based  mind.  she  has  always  been  self  sufficient  and  hates  relying  on  others,  often  seeing  it  as  a  weakness.  she  is  sharp,  dedicated  and  ambitious  enough  to  accomplish  whatever  she  wants  to  accomplish.

enneagram:  6w5,  the  guardian  /  like  most  of  this  type,  her  biggest  fear  is  losing  her  guidance  and  stability,  which  translates  into  her  skepticism  of  the  world.  therefore,  it  often  leads  to  eunjung  protecting  those  she  is  loyal  to,  but  most  importantly:  herself.  she  will  often  think  logically  and  analytically,  solving  problems  practically  and  efficiently  but  she  will  often  be  selfish  and  can  come  off  as  cold  as  a  result  for  her  actions.

moral  alignment:  chaotic  evil  /  eunjung  has  never  been  the  most  –  angelic  person,  though  she  likes  to  pretend  she  is.  at  the  end  of  the  day,  after  everything  she  has  been  through,  she  has  grown  to  be  selfish  –  prioritizing  her  own  personal  gain  and  pleasure  above  all  good  and  evil,  right  and  wrong.  it  could  be  argued  that  she  belongs  in  chaotic  neutral,  but  she  has  no  care  for  law  and  order,  nor  a  real  feeling  of  her  morality  anymore.

hogwarts  house:  slytherin  /  another  reminder  of  her  selfishness  and  how  much  she  cares  about  her  own  well  being.  all  her  life  as  well,  she  has  been  told  that  she  is  shrewd  and  too  ambitious  for  her  own  good  which  has  only  given  her  an  incessant  drive  to  prove  them  all  wrong.  when  it  comes  down  to  it,  like  most  slytherins,  she  will  try  to  view  every  possible  outcome  until  she  finds  the  outcome  that  will  benefit  her  the  most.

comparable  characters:  juliet  capulet  (  romeo  &  juliet  ),  jennifer  check  (  jennifer’s  body  ),  rosalie  hale  (  twilight  ),  blair  waldorf  (  gossip  girl  ),  sansa  stark  (  game  of  thrones  ).

the  rundown:  as  smart  as  she  is  selfish,  life  has  just  twisted  her  to  be  a  bit  cold.  she  isn’t  cruel  by  any  means,  nor  does  she  necessarily  wish  hurt  and  evil  upon  those  around  her,  but  eunjung’s  huge  main  character  complex  often  leads  to  her  priorities  being:  1.  eunjung  2.  yun eunjung  3.  eunjung yun.  her  biggest  trait  will  always  be  selfishness,  followed  closely  by  her  rash  belief  that  she  is  the  best  in  the  room  at  all  times.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞

trigger  warnings:  alcoholism  +  death

this  is  a  rundown  on  the  biography  /  death  /  back  room  /  glass  person  in  the  google  doc,  also  better  written  /  explained  because  it’s  not  prosey  <3

hajun  is  not  a  good  father,  he  never  has  been.  from  a  very  young  age,  all  eunjung  has  heard  from  him  are  his  drunken  spirals  about  how  great  they  used  to  be.  his  surname  was  once  held  in  a  high  regard,  the  name  of  an  empress  and  he  has  always  dwindled  about  to  the  three  yun  children  that  because  of  the  greatness  he  has  passed  onto  them,  they  must  be  great  too.  

eunjung  has  only  ever  viewed  his  spiels  as  hypocritical  though.  she  has  only  ever  known  her  dad  as  a  mean  drunk  who  lives  in  the  dirtiest,  most  run  down  house  in  town  with  his  poor  three  kids.  her  twin  brother,  eunsang,  her  younger  brother,  sangjung,  and  her  spend  their  childhoods  taking  care  of  each  other  because  nobody  else  will.  their  mother  does  something,  they  never  know  what  because  she  only  arrives  with  enough  money  for  groceries  and  bills  and  then  she  leaves.

it’s  that  way  for  most  of  her  childhood  and  most  of  her  life.  it’s  a  continuous  cycle  of  eunjung  +  eunsang  taking  care  of  sangjung  (  who  starts  going  my  samuel  when  he’s  ten  and  the  twins  are  twelve.  the  twins  have  english  names,  too,  but  eunjung  has  too  much  pride  –  like  her  father  –  and  eunsang  is  the  eldest  and  will  do  whatever  his  twin  does  out  of  love  )  and  eunjung  is  just  –  quite  the  difficult  child.  she  speaks  her  mind  and  all  of  her  opinions,  as  well  as  letting  the  festering  anger  within  her  too  grow  because  she  doesn’t  know  what  else  to  do  with  it.

death  tw.  anyway,  by  sixteen,  she’s  just  this  bitter  girl  that  the  boys  hook  up  with  because  she’s  the  poor  girl  from  the  dirty  house  on  the  rundown  street.  she’s  got  a  reputation  as  a  shrew  around  town,  but  she’s  fine  with  being  a  shrew  if  she  still  gets  her  way.  samuel  is  much  more  popular  than  either  of  the  twins  (  who  are  epitome  of  bad  boy  /  bad  girl  from  the  wrong  side  of  the  tracks  )  and  is  invited  to  a  party  at  fourteen.  it’s  tradition  to  party  in  this  abandoned  mansion  out  in  the  woods  and  basically,  an  accident  happens  and  samuel  is  pushed  from  the  second  story  balcony  into  the  foyer  and  d-words.

he’d  called  eunjung  before  dying  though,  asking  for  a  ride  so  the  twins  had  went  to  go  get  him  but  instead  found  him  dead.  while  trying  to  figure  out  what  had  happened,  she  spots  some  kid  that  doesn’t  like  her  still  lingering  around  so  she  tries  to  chase  him  and  he....  like....  pushes  her  off  too  and  she  d-words.  end  tw.

her  back  room  is  just  this  little  room  and  she  still  to  this  day  doesn’t  know  how  much  time  she  spent  in  there  because  it  was  just  so  confusing,  all  she  remembers  is  that  she  (  or  someone  )  was  trying  to  convince  herself  that  she  was  home  and  that  everything  was  fine.  but,  she’s  a  bitch  and  was  like  “uh,  actually,  i’ve  never  had  a  home  <3″  and  broke  out  of  whatever  spell.

her  glass  person  is  just  her.  identical,  but  trapped  in  the  walls  underneath  the  ugly  yellow  wallpaper  in  the  room  she  was  in.  same  as  her,  just  more  lifeless  and  it  is  really  the  only  thing  that  still  scares  her  –  and  it  tried  to  escape  the  walls,  but  it  couldn’t.  the  lasting  effect  is  that  if  she’s  alone  in  a  room  for  more  than  an  hour  she  swears  the  walls  start  stretching  like  someone’s  behind  it  and  just  always  feeling  like  she’s  being  watched.  she  also  doesn’t  like  looking  at  her  own  reflection  that  much  anymore  because  it  just  reminds  her  of  her  glass  person.

anyway,  she  survives  miraculously  and  after  testifying  and  blah  blah  blah  (  i  did  research  on  settlements  and  i  still  didn’t  understand  so  ),  the  family  of  the  kid  who  pushed  her  off  –  and  probably  samuel  –  gives  the  yun  family  a   huge  sum  of  money  for  their  troubles  and  calls  it  a  settlement.  it  comes  with  the  condition  that  eunjung  doesn’t  sue  or  bring  them  up  ever  again  and  she’s  like  fine  that’s  cool,  whatever,  i’m  rich  now.

but  her  parents  still  aren’t  happy  and  before  samuel’s  funeral,  eunsang  runs  away  from  home,  leaving  them  with  only  the  daughter  that  neither  of  them  really  wanted.  she  still  pushes  forward  though  and  ends  school  as  valedictorian,  prom  queen,  etc.  and  heads  to  fortuna  because  she  really  doesn’t  think  she  can  go  anywhere  and  also  her  counselors  are  ass  <3

she’s  studying  international  relations  +  print  journalism,  her  hopes  are  diplomacy  or  something,  but  she  just  chose  the  majors  that  she  tested  highest  on  on  that  career  test  i  can’t  choose.  yeah.

please  plot  w  me  i  have  my  wc  linked  up  there  or  at  /w.  i  love  u  all  i’m  sorry  this  was  long.

[httpjeon]

the cockpile: change of pace — seokjin (m.)

seokjin/reader | smut, light fluff | pornstar!au

wordcount: 3.2k

contents: sex work, this ones basically pwp, light masturbation scene (male), cute smut, hand holding during sex, still dirty talk tho

― synopsis: hardcore porn star Kim Seokjin begins his dabble in the world of vanilla porn. You’re his first co-star.

note: here’s jin’s version. next is hoseok!

blog masterlist ― series masterlist

©  httpjeon 2019. do not repost, modify, or translate.

“Thanks for getting here so quick,” Jaebum said, a wide smile on his face as he welcomed you into his office. You’ve been in here over a dozen times over the course of your career. You smiled, offering him a little smile before taking a seat across from him, meeting his eyes over his desk.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” You asked, crossing your right leg over your left, smoothing your dress down.

“I’ve booked you for a new recording,” Jaebum said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair, making it creak softly under the shift in weight.

“Really?” You grinned, clapping your hands together excitedly. “How’s the script?”

“I’ll be honest…I didn’t pick this filming because of the script,” His reply had you raising a brow. One of the reasons you were signed to Jaebum was because he had a knack for picking amazing scripts.

“So…what’s up?” You asked, cocking your head to the side, making him smile adoringly at you.

“Kim Seokjin,” He said, causing you to raise your brow once again.

“Kim…Seokjin? What do you mean?” You chuckled softly. “Isn’t he a kink master? We don’t even run in the same circles!”

“Ah, but he’s decided to dabble in vanilla!” Jaebum clapped his hands together excitedly. “And his company sent a request specifically for you!”

“Wh- Me?!” You stood up abruptly, eyes wide as can be. “I-I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’ve seen some of his work and I honestly don’t know if I can live through that! All the…spanking…and…uh…choking…that-that’s not me!”

“Don’t worry, _____! He’s in your realm!” Jaebum said softly, reaching across to place his hand on your shoulder.

“So…no spanking?”

“Nope,”

“Or…choking?”

“None,”

“…Fine, you talked me into it!”

“_____, huh?” Seokjin muttered, staring across the desk at his manager, Himchan.

“Yeah, we just got the confirmation from her manager,” Himchan said, showing Seokjin his phone. “So, looks like you’re doing a shoot with the Vanilla Cutie!”

“Can I see the script? I’ll study it tonight,” Seokjin said, a small smile playing on his lips as Himchan handed it over. The cover was titled ‘A Change in Pace’. ‘Fitting,’ Seokjin mused.

“I want you to watch some of her work as well,” Himchan advised. “Get yourself in the mindset of doing vanilla, you know?”

“Yeah, way ahead of you,” Seokjin smirked, standing up, tucking the script under his arm as he exited the office.

You were the reason he wanted to try vanilla porn in the first place. He had followed you career since you showed up on the porn scene over a year ago. Everyone was enamored by you; how cute you were with your soft features. And the sounds you made when you were fucked. He had been hoping for a while that you would venture into hardcore, but wen you never did he took it upon himself to request a film with you.

Oh, how he couldn’t wait to defile you.

“Okay, you can do this,” You muttered to yourself staring at the google search bar with a slight frown on your lips.

While you were familiar with what type of work Seokjin did, you had never actually seen it for yourself. You always made sure to research your co-stars, so you could be mentally prepared for their…asset. Nothing was worse than when you were expecting someone of average size only to be introduced to a monster-cock.

You shuddered at one of your first shooting memories but quickly shut that thought from your mind, typing Kim Seokjin into the search bar. One of the first results was for his profile on kstarzxxx.com, which you clicked. You were brought to a biography including his measurements, which you glossed over to get to his profile.

Already being a member of the site yourself, you had unlimited access to his videos. The thumbnails already had you blushing and shuddering in fear.

Girls bound with gags in their mouths, an unlimited array of sex toys visible, Seokjin holding a whip, the list went on.

You finally found a rather simple video, a solo video and you clicked on it. It took only a second to buffer but you couldn’t be bothered to watch the always-boring intros to the videos, so you clicked to somewhere mid-video.

You were happy that your sound was lowered because the moans that suddenly filled your apartment were absolutely sinful.

“Fuck, that’s so fucking good,” Seokjin growled, tossing his head back as he fucked his leaking cock into his hand, the lube he had previously used causing slick noises to be heard. You felt your face flush immediately, how did he make masturbating into such a filthy act?

You had done your share of self-pleasure videos but none nearly as dirty as this. The two of you truly lived on two different planets of tastes.

‘How am I even going to please him?!’

The script for the video was relatively simple, not that they were very challenging anyway. You were sitting in the dressing room, glancing over the script once more, though you had everything memorized already.

“Excuse me,” You glanced up over the paper to see Seokjin standing before you.

“Y-Yeah?” You asked, feeling yourself flush as you remembered the video of him jerking off the previous night.

“You got a minute to chat?” He asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside you.

“S-Sure, have a seat,” You mentally slapped yourself for stuttering. You couldn’t help it, he just made you nervous for some reason.

“So, how many tapings goes on?” He asked suddenly, making you raise a brow.

“J-Just…one?” You responded, squinting at him in confusion.

“Oh? Really? Is that all?” He asked, sitting up straighter, making his wide shoulders stand out in his tight t-shirt.

“Well…yeah…how many were you expecting?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you held in a giggle.

“Well, usually there’s the prep shoot, the cast shoot, the intro shoot, and then we have to reshoot any mistakes,” Seokjin shrugged, making your eyes widen in shock.

“No…no that’s not how it works on these sets,” You smiled, not noticing the way his cheeks flushed pink up to his ears. “We do one shoot and if there are any mistakes we’ll have a reshoot for that scene.”

“_____, the makeup artist is ready for you,” Jaebum called, waving you over to a seat with a lady standing in front of it with your favorite products set up on the vanity. “You nervous buddy?” Jaebum asked with a teasing tilt to his voice.

“Uh…a little bit, if I’m honest,” Seokjin muttered, taking a glance at you in the chair as you began to giggle at something the makeup artist said.

“Don’t worry about, you couldn’t have chosen a better co-star,” With a pat on the back, Jaebum walked away right as Seokjin was called to get his makeup done.

You made your way to the set, your body wrapped in your favorite fluffy pink bathrobe. Seokjin was already on set waiting for you, sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand. When you walked over to him, he looked up, locking his phone but you got a glimpse that he was on twitter.

“You look nice,” He grinned, reaching up to gently push a strand of your hair over your shoulder. “very pretty!”

“Y-You look nice t-too…” You whispered, feeling your cheeks flush at having such an attractive man compliment you.

“Alright, places on set!” The director called, forcing you and Seokjin into action.

You undid the belt to your bathrobe, pulling the soft fabric off of your shoulders before you were left in a simple white bra and panty set. Jaebum briefly ran onset to take the robe from you before disappearing back into the cast of set workers. You carefully took your seat on the bed, the soft comforter beneath you settling your nerves.

Seokjin stood just off camera, leaning against the wall as he watched you. The sight of your cute body in a set and waiting for him to fuck you was already causing his cock to swell in his boxers.

“Alright, Seokjin, you’ll enter in from the left and kiss her,” The director called, drawing his attention away from you. “And then you can follow the script from there.”

“Action!”

You watched out of the corner of your eye as Seokjin stepped closer to the bed, circling to the right side of the bed where you sat. You shyly grinned up at him as he cupped you jaw, leaning down to press his lips against yours. You knew he had beautifully plump lips but you were still shocked by the softness of them, making you sigh against the kiss as you moved your lips against his.

Your own hands became busy, pressing against his sides to try and pull him closer to you. His hand cupping your jaw moved to the back of your head, wrapping into your hair to drag your head back with a growl.

“Did I say you could touch me, little girl?” He hissed, dark eyes boring into yours, making you whimper.

“W-Wait…” You whined, fluttering your lashes at him. “C-Can we try something different tonight, baby?”

“Hm?” Jin gently released your hair, soothing the remaining ache in your scalp with his fingers. “What did you have in mind?”

“C-Can you…” Your cheeks flushed as you remembered the words of the script, glancing off to the side shyly. “Make love to me tonight?”

Jin grinned, leaning down to ghost his lips over yours. “Does my babygirl want to feel loved tonight?”

“Mhmm…” You whimpered, your eyes meeting his, which were now much softer.

“Lay down for me, beautiful,” He ordered, voice still holding a dark undertone to it.

You did as you were told, scooting back on the bed until you were able to lay your head on the pillows. A soft scent of the detergent they used to wash them filled your nose, making you smile softly. Jin climbed onto the bed after you, sitting by your feet, his hands gently caressing the skin of your calves.

“You’re so pretty,” He cooed, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against your knee, making you grin up at him.

His hands were gentle as he caressed your skin, up your calves, over your knees, and down your thighs. He leant his body over yours, so his lips could find your once again. Grinning into the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck and tangled your fingers into his hair to tug him closer to your body. Your legs carefully wrapped around his hips, causing him to grind his member against your panties. You whimpered softly at the feeling of his hard member against you, causing a gush of your juices to flood your panties.

“Take your bra off for me, sweetheart,” He cooed, sitting up once again to allow you to reach behind and unclip the bra. Seokjin smiled softly at you as he helped you discard the garment onto the floor.

As soon as your breasts were freed of the bra, his large hands were cupping them. You shivered slightly, surprised by the sudden contact but you still arched your back to push your breasts further into his palms. His thumbs gently ghosted over your nipples, making them harden beneath his touch. He moaned softly, unable to help himself as he descended down onto your hardened nub, making you whine as his hot mouth enveloped it.

“Ah, that feels so good,” You whined, tossing your head back as you ground your covered core against his throbbing member, making him groan. You had long gotten used to the over-acting you had to do for porn that it was pretty much second nature to you.

“How about you let me taste you little pussy?” He asked, his voice trembling as he asked you.

Through bleary eyes you looked up at him and nodded your head. He smiled softly and carefully began to peel your panties off until you were completely bare beneath him.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” He cooed, sitting back on his knees to stare at your beautifully naked body.

“Please,” You whimpered, biting your lip as you angled your hips up to him, making him groan at the sight of you being needy for his touch. “Please touch me!”

“Since you asked me so nicely,” He grinned, scooting down until his head was between your legs, which you leg slide open for him effortlessly.

He groaned to himself at the sight of your wet core now opened to his gaze. Your lips flushed and swollen from your arousal spready slightly to reveal your wet clit and dripping entrance. He brought a shaky hand up to slide between your labia, making your thighs tremble in pleasure. He tried his best to ignore as a cameraman came closer, getting a zoomed in image of his fingers touching you so intimately.

“You got such a cute little cunt baby,” He growled, unable to hold back as he veered off the script. The surprised look on your face was no missed by him, but he also didn’t miss the way your hold clenched around nothing at his dirty words. “So, you like when I talk dirty, huh? Asking me to make love but you still want filthy praise, isn’t that right?”

“Y-Yes…” You whimpered, your eyes rolling back into your head when his fingers rolled over your clit.

Jin groaned softly before he used two fingers to spread your labia, exposing your hard bud to his greedy tongue, which lapped over it quickly. You whimpered, reaching down to grab onto his hair as he began to eat you, paying special attention to your clit. Ever so gently, Seokjin sunk two long digits into your spasming hole, making your back arch in pleasure as he ghosted against your g-spot, giving you just a light taste of the pleasure he could provide you. His tongue was not idle as he worked to stretch your hole for his eventual penetration, swirling around your clit as you whined and whimpered in absolute pleasure. He was careful not to get you close enough to cum, he wanted that pleasure only for his cock

“Fuck, you’re so sweet, babygirl,” He cooed, looking up at you through his mess of bangs, your fingers having messed them up with your pleasure-filled tugging.

Once you were sufficiently a mess of your own cream and his saliva, he pulled away. You whimpered softly once your hole was empty and stimulation stopped to your sensitive clit. However, you were shut up once Seokjin stripped himself of his boxers, exposing his delicious length to your eyes. You felt your cunt pulse around nothing at the anticipation of having him sink himself balls deep inside you.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” He cooed, leaning towards you to brush your hair gently behind your ear, finally back on script. “You asked me to make love, so I’m gonna drag your pleasure out until you’re crying,”

You whimpered, eyes widening as he slowly sunk his cock into you, having stretched you with his fingers along with your copious amount of juices allowed him to fill you to the brim. You let out a guttural moan and tossed your head back when he bottomed out in you.

His mind blanked at the feeling of you around him, so hot and wet and…tight. It was magical. After he was sure he wasn’t going to blow his load immediately, he pulled almost completely out before sinking back into you, making you whine at the slow stretch.

“God, baby,” He cooed, pressing his lips against your forehead, smiling at you. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Mhmm,” You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his wide shoulders. “I-I just want you t-to…love me…”

He felt his heartrate pick up at the soft look in your eyes. He remembered now why you were so revered in this field, you were perfect for it. The way you looked at him with so much adoration, as if he really was your lover and this wasn’t just a role had his cheeks flushing all the way up to his ears.

He swallowed thickly, breaking eye contact to look at where you two were connected, watching how his cock slowly began to get coated in your cream and juices, a little ring of white surrounding the base of his cock, making him moan. He wanted to taste it so badly.

He felt your nails dig into his shoulders, the light pinch making him look up at you to check on you. Your eyes had rolled back into your head and your mouth fell open in a silent moan.

“Is that your spot, sweetheart?” He cooed, getting lost in the moment. Screw the script. “Answer me,”

“Y-Yes!” You cried, opening your glassy eyes to stare up at him. He was shocked to see your eyes were teary.

You weren’t used to this kind of dirty treatment. The thought that he was here, defiling you, had his cock pulsing even harder inside of you. He was getting close to his end and he knew you were too, by the way you were quickly becoming tighter around him.

“Can you cum like this, babygirl?” He asked, ghosting his lips over yours, making you shake your head. “Play with your clit for me then,”

You did as he ordered, mindlessly, your eyes locked with his as your nimble fingers found your swollen clit. You circled the bud, using the juices you were leaking everywhere to lubricate your movements. Jin groaned as you tightened around him, the added stimulation sending you even closer to your end.

“Can you cum with me, babygirl?” He asked, voice much softer as he used to words the script had.

“Y-Yes, I’m cumming!” You whimpered, biting your lip.

He leant down, connecting his lips to yours, stopping you from biting it anymore. Your lips worked together as you began to cum, your walls spasming around him. You abandoned touching your clit as his thrusts against your spot drove you higher in your pleasure. Finally, he erupted inside you, flooding your little pussy with his cum. He continued light thrusts to ride out the end of both of your orgasms until the overstimulation became too much for him.

He slowly pulled out, letting out a soft sigh as your still-spasming walls pushed out his cum to leak all over the bed.

“And cut!” The director called, causing applause to come from the staff. “That was great, you guys!”

“You had some real chemistry,” Himchan said as he came onto the set with Jaebum, who held a towel and your robe for you.

You cleaned the mess between your legs before standing up and wrapping the robe around yourself, tying the sash firmly. Seokjin pulled on the boxers he had discarded on the floor to cover himself. You faced him with a confident smile on your face, holding your hand out for him to shake.

“Let’s work together again sometime,” He grinned, taking your hand and giving it a firm shake. “maybe in my realm?”

“Hmm…maybe Mr. Seokjin…maybe.”

[peter-parkers-backpack]

Of all the people you could have pissed off

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Request: Can you do a peter parker x reader where the reader is tony stark’s daughter and she’s new at peter’s school. And so like he tries to get Ned to talk to her, but she doesn’t like Ned so he has to talk to her himself and he’s very nervous. And when he meets her dad, he gets scared af. Sorry it’s so long!

Warnings: Cussing, using google translate for Spanish, overprotective dad, scared af Peter

Hope you like it!

“No dad I don’t need a backpack that can turn into an Iron Man suit. This is just school.”

“Exactly, I don’t want anyone to mess with you!”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes “Dad, my last name is Stark, no one’s gonna mess with me, and if they did, I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, about that. Your name won’t be Stark at school. You’re going as (Y/n) Smith.” Tony explained.

“How original”

Peter was on his way to Spanish when he saw her. The most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. She had her bag hanging loosely on her shoulder, and she was talking to a teacher with a piece of paper in her hands.

When the teacher pointed down the hall where Peter was standing, he immediately turned around and walked the other way, a blush fresh on his face.

It was at lunch when he saw her again, and when Ned discovered his best friend wasn’t listening to a word he said, he knew something was up. Following Peter’s gaze, he saw a girl, a very pretty one. 

“Peter” Ned said, repeating himself for the fifth time.

“Y-yeah. That’s great Ned. Really cool.” 

Ned smirked “Ok, what was I talking about?”

“Y-your new comic book?” He guessed

Ned laughed “No. Dude, if you like her go talk to her.“

Peter stared at his friend, a shocked expression on his face “And embarrass myself? I don’t think so. I’d probably scare her off before I could say hi.” then as he thought, an idea popped into his head “But, you could.”

“Huh?”

“You could talk to her for me. Say good things about me or something.”

Ned started laughing, but when he realized Peter wasn’t, he stopped, “Wait, you’re serious?” 

Peter nodded “Please?”

“Fine, but you owe me.”

Ned had her in his math class an hour later. When she walked in, the teacher introduced her as (Y/n) Smith, but when she sat down in the desk next to him, he could see that she looked familiar. Like he’d seen her before.

“Do I know you?” he asked.

She looked over at him “No, I don’t think so.”

“No, I’ve seen you before” he said causing her to look back up again.

“I really don’t remember you. I’m trying to work here, if you don’t mind.”

But Ned didn’t give up “Nope I’ve definitely seen you before”

“Maybe I look like someone you’ve seen before or something, but I’m trying to do my work and it’s kind of hard to do with you constantly talking.”

“But you just-”

She glared at him “You know, it’s not that hard to not talk.”

That’s when he remembered his promise to Peter.

“Did you do it?” Peter asked at the end of the day.

“Do what? Oh, talk to her. Yeah, about that…” He trailed off “I don’t think she likes me all that much.”

“What! What did you do Ned?!”

“Well, she just looked so familiar, I just - You know what, that doesn’t matter, what does is that you are gonna have to talk to her yourself.”

The next day was very stressful for Peter. All throughout the day he looked for her, even in classes she wasn’t in. He was so anxious, waiting for the right moment to approach her, that he almost forgot about his Spider-Man duties. 

The moment came when she was outside her locker, which just so happened to be near Peter’s. 

She was getting her backpack, loading it with books and homework, getting ready to leave when he walked up to his own locker. She turned and smiled “Hi Peter”

He was shocked that she even knew his name “H-hey (Y/n), h-how are you?”

“Good” she laughed “Busy with a history paper, but luckily it’s due in a few days, not tomorrow.”

He took his chance “Me too. W-we can work on that t-together on that, i-if you want, I-I know this really good sandwich shop-”

“Of course Peter! Is tomorrow good?” She grinned, making Peter blush.

“Y-yeah that’s great!”

“Hey honey, how was school?” Tony asked as his daughter came through the door.

“It was great. I’m gonna be late coming home tomorrow, I’m meeting a boy from my class, we’re going to work on a paper.”

This made Tony’s head shoot up “Like a date?”

(Y/n) turned around pretending to get something out of her bag to conceal her blush. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t like Peter, he was cute, smart, and adorably awkward. “No dad, it’s not a date. We’re just working on some homework.”

“That’s not what he’s thinking, I guarantee it. Maybe if I just-” 

But she read his mind “I swear if you have Natasha or Clint follow me, I will never speak to you again.”

“It’s not like you would know they were there.” he said under his breath, not expecting her to hear.

“Yeah I would dad, you send them so much, I can spot them without a second glance. You think I didn’t notice them following me to school this morning?”

He sat down defeated “Fine, but no funny business.”

“Kinda hard to do that in the middle of a sandwich shop”

When the bell rang the next day, (Y/n) and Peter walked over to a sandwich shop in Queens.

“Hey Mr. Delmar” Peter waved as they walked in.

“Hey Peter, the usual?”

“Yup, a number four, with pickles, and can you smoosh it down real flat? Thanks.”

Then he looked at (Y/n), who just looked down from the menu, “I’ll have a number 6, please”

“Coming right up” 

As (Y/n) went to sit down, Mr. Delmar turned to Peter “te gusta esta chica?” (you like this girl?)

He blushed, but tried to pull it off “sólo estamos para trabajar en tareas“ (we are just here to work on homework)

Mr. Delmar nodded unbelieving “Mmhmm” and handed him his sandwiches.

By the time they were done, both Peter and (Y/n) had laughed more than they had done any work, meaning it had taken twice as long as it should have. But neither of them minded.

As they were packing up, (Y/n)’s phone went off, but she answered it before Peter could see Tony’s face pop up on the screen.

“Hey dad”

“Yes, we’re done”

“Yes, you can pick me up”

“Ok, I’ll meet you there.”

“Well, I had fun today, maybe we could do this again sometime.” she said as she packed her stuff into her backpack.

“Y-yeah, definitely. S-say, would you l-like to g-go o-out-”

Seeing how nervous he was, (Y/n) answered quickly, “Yes Peter, I’ll go out with you” then she kissed his cheek, leaving him a blushing mess, before going to meet her father.

When his daughter got in the car with a huge smile on her face, Tony knew what happened “So, not a date, huh.”

She blushed “Shut up.”

“It’s just, you do know I’m going to have to keep an eye on whoever this kid is right? And it would be easier if I knew his name.”

“Well, I’m not telling you if you’re going to scare him to death by showing up to his apartment in the middle of the night in your Iron Man suit, saying in some deep voice ‘You shall not hurt my daughter’”

Tony scoffed “I would not show up in my suit-”

“Yes, you would.”

“You don’t know-” he muttered under his breath, until he caught sight of a nodding Happy in the front seat. “Ok, but I still want to meet the guy”

(Y/n) looked over “Do you have to?” but seeing his ‘dad look’ she sighed “fine, I’ll tell him.”

When (Y/n) said her father wanted to meet him, Peter would be lying if he said he didn’t freak out. This was completely internal, of course, but (Y/n) could see his face as he said “O-okay”

“Don’t worry, I can handle him if he gets to out of hand. He is the biggest drama queen to ever walk this Earth, but I’ll be there to glare at him.”

Peter laughed nervously “O-okay, great”

She smiled “Cool, I’ll see you after school then.” and gave him a quick kiss before running off to class.

What Peter certainly didn’t expect was to walk a few blocks, then to get picked up by a fancy car.

Another thing he didn’t expect was to hear what sounded like the faint voice of Happy Hogan from the front seat. But he told himself he was just imagining his worst nightmare. 

Peter would take anything over getting lectured by Tony Stark for dating his daughter. Peter knew he had a daughter, everybody did, but no one had actually seen her.

Tony was also freaking out, hoping more than anything that his daughter wouldn’t bring home someone awful. Yet even after Natasha’s lecture, he was still preparing to chew someone out if he needed.

He was having Happy meet him at one of his daughter’s favorite restaurants, a room to themselves, of course. He didn’t want to risk meeting them at the tower, that would completely ruin the surprise. He knew he would be less intimidating if they already knew that Tony Stark was her father, and he didn’t want that by any means.

But whoever he was expecting, the last person he would have ever guessed, was the one to walk through the door.

“Parker?” Peter heard Tony’s voice echo through the room “You’re dating Parker!?”

(Y/n) looked at both of them, her dad, who’s face was a mix of shock and anger, and Peter, who looked like he was going to shit himself. 

“H-hey Mr. Stark” he was surprised he even go those few words out. He was living his worst nightmare. Mr. Stark was absolutely going to kill him. He was definitely wishing he had said goodbye to Aunt May.

“Don’t you ‘hey Mr. Stark’ me, Parker. Of all the women you could’ve gone out with, you choose my daughter? What happened to that ‘Liz‘ girl. I swear-”

“DAD!” (Y/n) yelled to get his attention, and when she had it she continued, “First off, I was unaware you two knew each other, and I’m going to need answers on that later. Second, dad, you don’t need to yell and scare him to death. Even though I’m proud of you for not bringing your suit” Peter gulped at the thought

“You don’t need to do this. And stop with the whole speech thing. Peter is a great person, who isn’t going to hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. There, problem solved.”

Tony walked up to Peter and whispered in his ear “If you do hurt her, me taking away your suit will be the punishment you wish you had”

Peter gulped, “I-I won’t. I-I promise”

“Good, now how about dinner? I’m buying.”

“Dude” Ned said “You’re dating Tony Stark’s daughter. That’s so cool.” Then he paused, a sudden realization hitting him “THAT’S WHERE I SAW HER! Someone posted a picture on some website saying they thought she was a Stark! Oh my God.”

“Yup, and she thinks you’re annoying.” Peter laughed “Of all people you could have pissed off Ned…“

“Oh, shut up Peter”

[tiesandtea]

Suede in the German magazine Intro, May 1999.

An interview with Brett (in German), a short HM review (in English) and a gorgeous HM ad in colour, which was probably the highlight for me.

Original text of the interview under the cut. Taken from the Intro website where it was posted on 16th April 1999.

schmale hüften / langer atem

'In Tausend Jahren wird es keine Männer und Frauen mehr geben. Nur noch Wichser' (Renton zum Thema Gender, Trainspotting 1996) 

Um die androgyne Tanzfläche haben sich Pulp mit “This Is Hardcore”, so ehrlich sollte man sein, doch mehr verdient gemacht als Suede mit ihrem Gesamtwerk. Und in bezug auf arty- und launisch-sein dürfte gegen das neue Blur-Album auch kein Stich zu machen sein. Was bleibt denn eigentlich noch übrig für Suede? Nachdem die prestigeträchtigsten Wanderpokale bei anderen im Schrank stehen. Neue Bescheidenheit? Auf keinen Fall, besser man besinnt sich auf die ureigenen Stärken. Aha, also Arroganz. Da läuft Suede so schnell niemand den Rang ab, möchte man meinen, wenn man dieser populären Charakterzuschreibung Glauben schenkt. Mit Glaube ist es aber so eine Sache. Und mit Arroganz erst recht. Denn jemanden als arrogant zu dissen resultiert doch immer wieder gern aus dem unguten Gefühl eigener Unterlegenheit.

Und wo sollte man sich Pop am ehesten unterlegen, wenn nicht in London? Hallo, Hauptstadt. Und der Name The London Suede paßt da gut ins Bild. london. Noch nicht mal Regen. Trotzdem sieht die Stadt ganz gut abgehangen aus. Ist doch Ehrensache, klar. Die Interview-Location mit Suede wurde verlegt. Statt des geplanten 'meet us at the studio' und feuer die Band an, während sie die letzten >>uuuhs<< und >>aaahs<< auf die Hooks ihrer Hedo-Kracher einsingt, erwartet die Band in einer angemieteten Hotel-Lounge. Ihr gutes Recht. Das Album steht schon. Und das Studio will vorerst keiner mehr von innen sehen. Jetzt wird nur noch geraucht, geredet und geerntet. Schließlich liegt der längste Studio-Aufenthalt der eigenen Historie hinter Suede.

secret service. Sänger Brett Anderson sieht fertig aus. Aber nicht richtig fertig. Er interpretiert sein role-modell des arroganten, schmalhüftigen Sängers sehr gelassen, liegt mehr auf der Couch, als daß er sitzt, und der einzig divaeske Ausdruck bleibt gelegentliches Unterbrechen jeglichen Gesprächs durch Einwürfe, die wahlweise 'need a cigarette' oder 'need a break' lauten. Her mit Ruhe und Rauchen, so diskret kann Hedonismus sein, wenn er auf die vulgären Eckpunkte wie Fressen und Petting verzichtet. Nimmt man Hedonismus auch als Maßgabe für die Musik, läßt sich sagen, daß Suede sich mit ihrem gerade fertiggestellten vierten Album selbst übertroffen haben. Songs wie 'She's In Fashion' treiben es fast zu weit mit der Stilsicherheit im eigenen Kosmos.

'Head Music', so heißt das Werk, zwischen dem und dessen Vorgänger 'Coming Up' mittlerweile auch schon fast drei Jahre liegen, und es besteht kein Zweifel, daß Suede immer noch Suede sind. Selbst der Titel des Albums scheint auf den seines Vorgängers zu referieren (Come up / head on). Oder wie Anderson es beschreibt: 'Lots of things changed the last years, but we didn't put down anything.' So hat er es gesagt. Vermutlich. Denn Anderson zuzuhören unter dem Aspekt des komplett Verstehen-Wollens wäre selbst für austrainierte Logopäden eine Nummer zu groß. Anderson sitzliegt auf der Couch und teilt tonlos fragmentarische Sätze aus, die darunter leiden, daß er den Mund nicht so recht öffnet. Das Dilemma, daß Suede so Gefahr laufen, immer irgendwie und an entscheidenden Stellen falsch zitiert zu werden, räumen die übrigen Mitglieder geschickt aus. Ganz nonchalant ergänzen sie Andersons Antworten und paraphrasieren dabei eigentlich nur seine Worte - von denen sie selbst ausgehen, daß ein Außenstehender sie niemals völlig verstanden haben kann. Secret dolmetschen. Der extrovertierte Künstler redet, die Band regelt. Suede mit Charakterzügen einer präsidialen Demokratie. Zumindest trägt das Kollektiv den Star, an den Instrumenten und darüber hinaus. Richtig anheimelnd. the power of. Draußen hat es mittlerweile endlich zu regnen begonnen. Wegen London. The power of Klischees. Suede indes diskutieren derweil die hohen Erwartungen, mit denen ein Output ihrerseits schon von Anfang an konfrontiert wird. Seit 1992. 'Sicher war das damals ein Start [lanciert durch hyperaktive britische Pop-Presse], dem wir viel zu verdanken haben. Aber deshalb mußten wir uns jahrelang damit auseinandersetzen, daß die Leute in uns den Hype sahen. Und offenbar verlangten, daß wir auf die Nase fallen. Das hatte sich erst mit dem dritten Album erledigt. Jetzt werden wir zumindest an uns gemessen und nicht mehr an irgendeinem fucking hype.' Was die Sache ja nicht unbedingt einfacher macht. Zumal Hits wie die vergangenen 'Beautiful Ones', 'Stay Together' oder 'Trash' erst mal getoppt werden müssen. Das wissen Suede selbst, geben sich aber außerordentlich entspannt. Ihr Material ist im Kasten und das Vertrauen darin auch. Das Klischee, das zu dieser Platte, zu dieser Phase der Band gut gepaßt hätte, haben sie am langen Arm verhungern lassen. Denn bei aller Kontinuität im Songwriting wäre zu erwarten gewesen, daß als neuer Aspekt ein wenig mehr Modernism zum Zug kommt. Also sexy Hedo-Kracher unter dem Eindruck elektronischen Ambientes, Beats, Bleeps and Clonx. Die zeitgemäße Strategie für Pop-Multis. Davon will 'Head Music' gar nichts wissen, viel eher stocken Suede ihren Rock-Appeal noch mal auf. Obwohl, 'an einigen Stellen haben wir Sounds und Stimmungen so verwendet wie auf keiner Platte zuvor. 'Hard Files' zum Beispiel besitzt eine aggressive Aura und Umsetzung - das war selbst für uns neu, als wir hörten, wie wir dabei klingen. Aber über all dem steht: es ist wichtig, die Band zu sein, die man ist.' be yourself. Immer wieder neu, immer wieder gleich. Aber 'yourself', wer ist das in diesem Fall eigentlich genau? Und zwar vor allem, wenn die Verstärker ausgemacht werden? Anderson nämlich kokettierte in einem Interview vor einiger Zeit ziemlich verstörend mit einer Options-Homosexualität. 'I'm a bisexual man who has never had a homosexual experience.' Also doch die androgyne Tanzfläche im Blick? Die Distinktion Mann/Frau verläuft sich im coolen Style ganz von selbst. Davon erzählt 'Head Music', wenngleich die Realität anders aussieht, näher am Status quo liegt. Das Internet spricht in bezug auf private life von langjährigen girlfriends der Herren bis auf Drummer Simon Gilbert. Zu all dem will Anderson sich nicht äußern. Die Frage 'wie geht es weiter 2000, making families?' soll es durch die Hintertür richten. Anderson schaut daraufhin, als habe man gefragt, ob er glaube, daß noch diesen Monat Kolonien auf dem Mond errichtet würden. Heißt wohl: den Familienspießer verbitte ich mir. Arrogant, bisexuell - das läßt man sich ja noch gefallen, wohingegen bei Hausbackness der Spaß aber aufhört. represent. Suede brauchen keine Hilfe. Mit 'Head Music' werden sie als das rezipiert werden, was sie sind, was sie gerne sind. Sexy und Glam. Wem solche aufreizenden und plakativen Issues nicht geheuer sind, der wird sie weiterhin als arrogant o. ä. abtun. Aber in Wahrheit sind sie zwischen all dem Glamour-Represent eigentlich nur müde. Nach dem Gespräch erscheint ein Mann der Plattenfirma mit dem Anliegen, auf den folgenden Fototermin überzuleiten. Anderson spricht daraufhin zum ersten Mal laut und deutlich. 'Need a break!' Wer nicht? Pop-up: Wieso The London Suede? Kurz nach dem Release der ersten Suede-LP in den Staaten, trat Suzanne DeBronkart, Country/Folk-Künstlerin aus Washington, auf den Plan: sie ist für die USA im Besitz der Rechte an dem Namen Suede - und trotz aller Bemühungen nicht bereit, diese abzutreten. So blieb nichts übrig als der Kompromiß 'The London Suede'. Den Namen 'Suede' darf die Band in den USA erst dann führen, wenn DeBronkart sich zur Ruhe setzt - oder es einfach erlaubt. Doch da sie von erbosten Suede-Fans mit hate-mails bombardiert wurde, ist ihre Kooperationsbereitschaft nur weiter gesunken.