Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?
Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.
Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.
Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??
Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.
Clark: What.
Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.
Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.
Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?
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Feel like I’m so basic but Jason Todd with a crush and him having zero social skills and just being super clumsy despite being highly competent when he’s in the field. Crush is like real sweet and kind maybe a service worker ✨
anon u are so true and real for this bc jason is definitely an unsocialized cat when he has a crush 💓
jason todd x gn!reader. shyish/anxious jason with a big fat crush. baker reader. annoying customer. the duality of jason todd. 1.6k words.
also i fully believe that silently leaving huge tips as a way to flirt is like. a wayne trait. 100% that family does that bc of bruce.
prompt lists are here! i reblog all fics to @sanguinelibrary
****
Business has been slow.
It's not like you expect your cafe to be packed to the rafters all day long, but you've had a grand total of four customers today. One of them only came in to ask where Starbucks was.
Frankly, you're not sure the cafe can afford to stay afloat for much longer. Gotham isn't known to preserve small businesses, and the conglomerates (cough, Wayne Enterprises) are taking over the world anyway.
So today is a reading day. You might even close early.
You're at a table in the back, so absorbed in Poirot's sleuthing that you don't hear the door open. It isn't until you turn the page and look up that you see your resident lurker waiting quietly at the display case. You flinch so hard that you spill iced tea on your jeans.
"Shit," you murmur, grabbing a wad of napkins and patting yourself dry.
Jason (as is written on his coffee cup) looks up from the pastries, teal eyes wide. You smile briefly at him. For such a big guy, his footsteps are astonishingly soft.
"Is everything okay?" he asks, voice rough like he doesn't speak much.
"Yeah, fine. You just startled me—I didn't hear you come in. Were you waiting long? Sorry about that."
"Oh. No, I wasn't. Sorry." He shifts weight between his feet. "You seemed pretty engrossed in your book. I didn't, uh, want to disturb you."
"Oh, hey, don't worry about that! It's literally my job to be here," you say, though you can't help but melt over how freaking sweet that is.
Jason visits you a minimum of twice a week. He's been coming for a couple of weeks. You know a whole three things about him: he's a university student, he pretty much only dresses in red or black, and he's unfairly cute.
At first, you were reasonably wary of him because it's Gotham, and he's so damn quiet. It's a little scary. You thought maybe he was an undercover spy casing the joint. Now you know he's just awkward.
"Slow day?" he asks.
"Slow year, more like. How are you? How was your exam?"
He blinks. "Exam?"
"Didn't you have an American lit exam last week?"
"Oh. Uh, yeah. Wow. Yes, I did. It was okay. Got an A."
"That's great! I knew you'd ace it."
His cheeks turn pink. Okay, you actually know four things about him: he blushes a lot.
You go to start the coffee machine. "Do you think you'll—"
"I-I have to go."
You watch, stunned, as he hurries out the door. That's when you notice the fifty dollar bill in your tip jar.
You don't know if you should bring up yesterday. Jason's back; that probably means everything's fine, right? You're not sure if you said something wrong, though. You've gone over the interaction a hundred times since and you can't figure out why he's so skittish around you.
"Hi. Hibiscus tea, please," he says, stoic as always.
You prepare his order, yesterday's interaction still fresh in your head. You should say something, shouldn't you? Or...
"Sorry about yesterday," Jason blurts, so fast you almost miss it. "Running out, I mean. I was, uh—I forgot something."
Well. Looks like he's going to bring it up for you.
"Oh, you don't have to apologize! If I said something wrong..."
Jason shakes his head fervently. "No, God no. You're perfect."
Your eyebrows shoot up. He turns red this time.
"I mean—not perf—well, you're amazing, don't get me wrong! Except, like, what is perfect, y'know? My brother has gotten into the habit of calling everything perfection like some kind of sitcom character. Alfred will make pie, and Dick'll go, "Alfie, that was perfection." And I feel like it's such an exaggeration—"
Jason's mouth snaps closed. He rubs his forehead.
"Um, I actually have chronic foot-in-mouth disease. It gets really, stupidly bad. Sorry."
You're trying hard not to giggle. You want to smother him in frosting and take a bite.
"You're really sweet, you know that?" you say.
"I'm really not," he says with a sigh.
"Not true. Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
You go into the kitchen and return with your latest experiment: matcha cream puffs.
"Do you mind trying these for me? You're not allergic to anything, are you?"
Jason's shoulders hunch. "Are you sure you want my opinion?"
"Of course I'm sure," you say happily. "I trust you."
"You trust me," he repeats quietly.
"Yup!"
Jason takes a puff and bites. He starts to nod.
"It's really good. You're really—all your creations are—yeah. It's good."
You squint. "No notes? Really?"
"They're perfection, as my brother would say."
Fuck, you like him so much.
"Have another one," you say, pushing the tray towards him.
"I shouldn't—"
"Wait! I'll pack you some!" you interrupt, flitting back to the kitchen to get a Tupperware.
Jason helplessly accepts the container of puffs you shove into his hands.
"Let me pay-" he tries to say, but you shake your head.
"Nope! I won't accept payment for these. Not from my favorite customer."
"Your favorite?"
"My favorite," you confirm, grinning.
"Oh." His ears turn pink as he walks to the door, cream puffs in hand. "Uh, right. Thanks. See you tomorrow."
"Jason? Don't you want your tea?"
"Shit. Yeah." He returns to the counter and takes his drink. This he insists on paying for, so you let him, because you do have rent to pay, after all.
"So nice to see you!" you add, because the stiffness in his gait is kind of throwing you off.
He just nods, slipping out the door as quietly as he came.
Today, Jason's in a red workout tank. You have to make the conscious effort to not ogle his arms.
"Hey, Jason!" you say cheerily.
"Hi," he says softly.
"The usual?" you ask, and he looks up in surprise.
"You know my order?"
You gently roll your eyes. "Of course I know your order, silly. Favorite customer, remember?"
"Oh." He looks away, brow furrowed. Then he turns to you and his expression smooths over. "Yes, please. Thanks."
"Sure. Give me one second? I just have to finish decorating some sugar cookies."
"Take your time," Jason says, then goes to skulk by the window.
The door is suddenly swung harder than necessary, thumping the glass.
"Hey!"
You look up from the cookies. A man in a suit is waving his phone impatiently.
"I ordered a dozen muffins. Where are they, huh?" he demands.
"Oh, right! Well, you called ten minutes ago, so they won't be ready till six, sir. Can I get you something while you wait?"
He scoffs and stomps to the counter. You almost back down, but you don't; that's exactly what these bullies want.
"This is exactly why no one eats at dinky cafes like yours. You can't even do this!" he fumes, shoving a finger in your face.
"Sir, like I said, the muffins are baking..."
"I know the city's health inspector personally," the man spits viciously. "One call, and I can—"
"Say one more word."
You blink as Jason is suddenly between you and the customer, stood at his full height. He's all muscle and broad shoulders, looming over the guy. You peek around him.
"What the fuck, man?" the angry customer squawks. "Move!"
"No, you move," Jason says, tone lethal. "Sit quietly at a table and wait for your muffins to bake. Then you can thank the nice baker for waiting on your sorry ass and you're not gonna come back. They have far more patience for entitled fucks than I do."
"Fuck you," the man spits.
Jason calmly closes the distance between them and whispers in his ear, hand like a vice around the jerk's shoulder. You watch as he turns pale, eyes growing wider.
"Sound good?" Jason asks pleasantly, all teeth. The man gapes at him.
Wow. Yeah. This is really doing something for you.
The oven dings. You go to retrieve the muffins, packing them as quickly as possible. You give him the box and the man nods.
"Thanks," he mumbles, then scurries out of the store.
Jason turns to you, and it's like looking at a completely different person.
"You okay?" he asks, posture stiff like he's still prepared for a fight.
You nod, a little dazed.
"Yeah. Wow. Jason, I... you didn't have to do that. I mean, thank you for doing it, but..."
"Hey, that guy was a jackass. And if you have trouble with him or anyone else, call me, okay?"
This side of him stuns you. If you didn't know better, you'd think he had this exchange regularly.
"Call you?" you ask, smiling. "How will I call you if I don't have your number?"
He freezes, eyes wide. "Oh. Uh. Um..."
You lean over, elbows on your counter. He watches you. You cup your hand around your mouth, pretending to divulge a secret.
"This is where you, the cute guy who frequents my struggling cafe, gives me your number."
"You think I'm cute?" he asks.
"Devastatingly so," you say, grinning.
He's quiet for a long moment. Your smile starts to dim.
"Did I read this wrong?" you ask. "If I came off too strong..."
"No!" he says a little too loud. Jason winces. "Sorry. No. I... you're... fuck, I'm not good at this. I don't even really drink tea or coffee, to be honest. I just come in to see you."
"You do?"
Jason sighs. "Yeah. Shit. That's creepy, isn't it?"
You laugh and he visibly softens.
"No, Jason," you say warmly. "It's sweet."
"So can I still ask you on a proper date? Not coffee."
You grin. "That would be perfection."
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JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY
BRUCE WAYNE (BATMAN) SMUT
(bruce wayne/batman x fem!reader)
can be read as any batman, but he is described to be a partying bachelor in this
warnings: rough sex, p in v, unprotected sex, jealous sex, semi-public (private bathroom) sex, established relationship, slight toxic undertones?? aftercare
she knew it was for her protection, but god did y/n hate pretending not to know bruce in public. they'd attend events together, and she just had to stand there and watch every time as he flirted with all of the girls who approached him. sure, guys flirted with her all the time, but she never talked to them for more than a minute, and she'd always make sure not to lead them on. bruce didn't care; he had to keep up his "partying bachelor" status. she brought it up to him once, and he of course reassured her she was all he wanted, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt.
currently, she was stood against a wall, arms crossed over her stomach as she glared at the girls whom were flocked around her boyfriend. she was wearing a long, bright red dress that hugged her curves tightly and had a deep v-neck. there was a slit going up her thigh, which exposed her silver heels and caused her to constantly adjust her dress in fear of exposing herself. the dress was so tight that she couldn't wear her normal safety-shorts without there being lines, so she'd been stressed about that all night.
"hey there," a voice said out of nowhere. she snapped her gaze away from bruce and immediately replaced her scowl with a polite smile as she turned to greet the man. "you look like you could use a refill."
she paused, eyes looking at the empty glass, provided by the event's servers, on the table next to her. she'd never seen the man in front of her before, but he was definitely handsome, with blonde hair and brown eyes. his tan hands both held glasses of champagne, one of which was being held out towards her. in fear of being impolite, she took the drink with nimble hands. she was a little worried that he might've done something to the drink, but with the amount of security the crowded event held, she supposed she was safe.
"thank you.." she prompted, eyes raised.
"frank." he said quickly, an awkward laugh. "frank campbell. and you are?"
"y/n l/n." she responded, taking a sip of the drink. it tasted the same as the ones she'd had before, and she cherished the flavor.
"what're you doing all the way over here?" he asked. "i'm sure you'd be a hit out there."
she nearly laughed at his attempts of flirting. "i'm just observing." she shrugged.
he turned to follow her gaze and his eyes landed on bruce, whom was still surrounded by women. "looking at wayne, huh? he's got all of the ladies here wrapped around his finger. i'm surprised you're not over there too, unless you have a boyfriend, of course."
how ironic.
"you sound jealous." she swirled the drink in her cup, looking up at him through her eyelashes. holy shit, she was flirting back, wasn't she?
"so what if i am?" he said boldly. "i think every man in this room is."
"and why is that?" she continued, taking another sip of her drink. as she did so, her eyes trailed over to bruce. she knew he'd look over at them eventually, he was protective like that, but now he was straight up staring at her. he looked upset, and for some reason, she was almost pleased with that result. maybe, just maybe, this would show him what it was like to be in her shoes. she winked at him once before turning her attention back to frank.
she nodded along as frank spoke, but honestly, she had tuned out on a lot of it as she was looking at bruce. when he finished talking, she had a good enough idea of what he said to respond.
"so what," she summarized with a slight smirk. if only he knew who he was talking to. "you think you could show a girl a better time than he could?"
"oh, i know i could."
"ah, i see." she set her almost-empty glass down and reached for her handbag off of the table. the small, designer bag was cute, but she hated the fact that it didn't have a strap. she was digging around in it, searching for her small tin of breath mints, when suddenly she knocked the bag over. it toppled to the ground, the contents spilling everywhere. she gasped, carefully falling to her knees in order to collect her things. frank squatted down too, doing his best to help. she could see the way his eyes landed on her cleavage before trailing down to the her thigh, where she was maybe an inch away from exposing the space between her thighs.
"sorry," she laughed awkwardly, suddenly a little uncomfortable under his gaze. his eyes never left her body as he handed her the occasional lipstick or bobby-pin from the floor. she thought she wanted this attention, in fact she'd been craving it all night, but she suddenly felt guilty as she realized what she was doing. apparently, she'd done a better job flirting than she'd thought she did, and now this man was looking at her as if he expected her to come home with him tonight. all whilst her boyfriend was watching.
speaking of bruce, she glanced up to see him staring directly at her, eyes narrowed. to make matters even worse, she and frank both reached for her phone at the same time, their hands connecting for a split second. she pulled away quickly, but frank was already making eye-contact with her, a blush on his face.
"that's everything," he said, finally looking at her face. he stood up, offering her a hand as well. despite the fact that she wanted to get up on her own, she took his hand, standing up as slowly as possible in order to keep her dress intact. the second his hand dropped hers, she was adjusting her dress again, wishing she'd worn the black dress that alfred suggested.
"oh, here," he said. she had no clue what he was doing, but suddenly, his hand was on her face. he brushed something off of her cheek and she stood there frozen. her eyes looked for bruce, and he was dismissing himself from the girls around him. he pulled out his phone as he walked, but she lost him in the crowds before she could see where he was headed. "you had a hair."
"thanks," she forced a smile. her phone buzzed in her purse, and after saying a quick apology to frank, she pulled it out. bruce's contact filled her screen, and her knees went weak as she read his text.
"Meet me in employee bathroom, two minutes. Down the stairs to your left. Don't be late."
"oh my god," she attempted to feign a dramatic gasp, but honestly, she didn't have to try that hard to fake being shocked because she genuinely was. bruce was very rarely that demanding, and if he was, it was only after a hard night out as batman. "i am so sorry, frank, but i have to go. business emergency."
"oh, no," frank seemed a little appalled at her sudden exit. "don't apologize. i hope everything is alright."
"yeah, thanks," she reached over for her glass of champagne and finished it with a long swig, ignoring his confused gaze. "it was lovely meeting you, really. i'll see you around, yeah?"
he seemed a little shocked, but she patted his shoulder once before grabbing her clutch and walking away. she walked as fast as she could in a restricting dress and heels, which, honestly, was quite slow. no one seemed to notice her as she snuck through the unlabeled doors and down the concrete stairs. she really hoped these were the correct stairs, because it took her nearly a minute to get down them without ripping her dress. immediately, a door labeled "family bathroom" appeared to her left, and in smaller letters it read "staff only".
she prayed that it was the right room when she knocked. as quick as lightning, bruce opened the door and pulled her inside. she fell against the door as he locked it behind her.
"well hello to you too," she sassed, ignoring how turned on she already was. if this was something serious and not sexual, then she was about to feel real stupid. "what's up?"
"i could ask you the same question." he said, voice barely controlled. "what's up with campbell over there?"
"oh, so you know him?" she inquired boldly. she could feel the alcohol in her veins, not enough to make her tipsy, but enough to make her words bolder.
"yeah, i do," he grumbled. "nice guy."
she laughed lightly. "that's surprising. he hates you."
"oh, does he?" bruce didn't seem phased. "and why is that?"
she pushed herself off of the door, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "oh nothing much," she smirked up at him. "just thought he could fuck me better than you."
this caught bruce's attention and his eyes hardened. his large hands found place on her waist, pulling her closer.
"and would you let him?" his voice was raspy. he knew she wouldn't, they'd had that conversation before when they were actually being sincere, but he had to see what she'd say now.
"depends," she ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "would you fuck handsy-pansy? i'm sure she thinks she's better than me."
"handsy" pansy was some blonde woman whom seemed to show up at every event, and each time she saw bruce, she'd fawn over him the whole time, laughing at everything he said and always touching him.
bruce pretended to think, watching as she scrunched her face up at him. she knew he was just doing it to get a rise out of her, and she planned to return the favor.
"maybe i'll go and talk to frank after all," she pulled away, pretending to reach for the door. "i'm sure he'd love to have me in his bed after all of this is over."
the next thing she knew, bruce grabbed her hand. he pulled her back, spinning her enough so that their chests collided and he could slam his lips against hers. the kiss was rough and passionate, and she found herself wrapping her hands around his neck to stay stable. his larger hands gripped her waist, slowly moving down to her ass with a harsh squeeze. she moaned in his mouth, arching her back against him.
"fuck you better than me, huh?" he growled, pulling away. he pulled her by her waist, shoving her towards the sink. her hands latched onto the counter and she could see bruce standing behind her in the mirror. she bit her lip as he grabbed the long dress, bunching it up at her waist, where it surprisingly stayed. she watched his breath catch in his throat when he realized she only had lace on underneath. he didn't say anything, simply palming her smooth ass before reaching between her legs. his calloused fingers slid over her soaked folds and she threw her head back, a bright blush on her face.
"you're already so wet," he commented, pulling away. he met her eyes in the mirror. "was all of this for him?"
"no," she shook her head quickly, going against any of her usual bratty instincts. "it's all for you, bruce."
"all for me, huh?" he repeated. as he spoke, she arched her back against him, attempting to grind herself against his thigh. his hands found place on her hips, and her actions were halted abruptly. his grip was rough, but not quite enough to be painful.
"i don't know," he tsked, making eye contact with her through the mirror. "you seemed pretty pleased with yourself out with campbell, acting like a slut, all whilst wearing the brand new dress i bought you."
"god," she whined, biting her lip. the way he was staring her down through the mirror, thumbs caressing her hips, was driving her crazy. "please, bruce! i'm yours, all yours."
"now you're begging?" he asked slyly, fingers moving down her hips and to her thighs, where he then stroked her skin softly. "so eager to be fucked like the slut you are, huh?"
"so what if i am?" she challenged, trying to slyly rub her thighs together. her actions didn't go unnoticed, and bruce roughly separated her legs. she nearly fell, leaning forward onto the sink.
"you beg me to go out more," he murmured under his breath. through the mirror, she could see him unbuckling his belt. "and this is the treatment i get. you want me to fuck you? fine, i'll fuck you. i'll fuck you so good the whole party will hear you, and campbell will know you're mine. that's what you wanted, right? for me to show you i care?"
his words were almost sappy, but his tone was the complete opposite.
"i've cared the whole time," his gruff voice continued. she heard the clink of his pants falling to his ankles. "it drove me crazy watching guys look you up and down, talking about you like you're their next meal."
he didn't give her time to respond, because he suddenly slid inside of her. she let out an airy moan, manicured fingers gripping the counter as she adjusted to the quick intrusion. the momentary pain was quickly being masked with pleasure as he leaned forward, craning his neck to place a soft kiss on shoulder. though the moment was tender, his voice was still a husky whisper in her ear. "god, if only they could see you now, see how you're all mine."
the next thing she knew, he was pounding into her like there was no tomorrow, snapping his hips against her so much that she felt her entire body bounce with each movement. she tried to make eye contact through the mirror, but she couldn't bear to keep her head up. a constant string of airy moans were leaving her mouth, and had she not been about to collapse, she would've brought a hand up to silence them.
"fuck, bruce.." she managed to sputter out. his pace was relentless; it seemed his hours of being batman really contributed to his stamina.
"what?" he practically growled from behind her. "you can't take it?"
"i can!" she cried out, head thrown back as she struggled to speak. "i-" her next sentence got cut off by a startled moan as one of bruce's hands left her hips and snaked around to pressure her clit.
she moaned out his name as he continued his assault, his finger now rubbing slowly against the bundle of nerves.
"fuck," he panted from behind her. "you gonna cum for me, yeah?"
she nodded, her body shaking in his arms. she wasn't sure how much longer she could take it before she collapsed onto the floor, but god did she love it.
"i need words, sweetheart." he said, his halting the actions of his fingers. he was still pumping into her, likely because he too was close, but she immediately whined at the loss of contact against her sensitive clit.
"yes!" she choked out, only to then moan again when he twiddled her clit between the pads of his calloused fingers.
it didn't take long before she could feel herself nearing an orgasm. biting her lip to prevent herself from screaming, y/n came roughly, legs shaking so hard she was scared her knees were going to buckle out from under her. she expected bruce to slow down, maybe give her a moment to recuperate, but his pace only quickened to a near impossible state. he was back to holding her hips with both hands, using his virtually painful grip on her body in order to pound into her even harder. she was shaking like a limp ragdoll in his arms, incoherent moans leaving her open mouth. she was even more sensitive than before, and she was sure anyone walking by would be able to hear her.
right when she was sure she'd get whiplash from being jerked around so much, not that she was complaining, she felt bruce let go inside of her, his liquid coating her insides. once he was finished, he slowed to a stop and slipped softly out of her. she almost immediately fell to the floor, but his now gentle grip was quick to grab onto her.
he spun her around to face him, supporting her weight with ease. he gave her an amused smile, and she couldn't help but just stare at him, her face still stuck in a fucked-out haze. her makeup was smeared, and there were many loose, frizzy hairs stuck to her face. she managed to pull her dress back down to cover herself, but it was full of wrinkles, and there was now a wet patch on the crotch.
bruce pulled her into his chest and leaned down to press a lasting kiss onto her lips. she brought her weak arms up to wrap around his neck, and he continued to hold onto her, now moving his hands up to her waist rather than her sensitive hips. the kiss was slow and soft, a large contrast to his actions only moments ago.
"what'd ya say we ditch this joint, yeah?" he said once he'd pulled away.
"but bruce.." she began to murmur, obviously still dazed.
"the gala can wait," he reassured. "i'm not needed there anyways. what matters to me is getting you home."
she frowned up at him, but it really didn't take long for her to give in. she hated to admit it, but with how rough he had been, there was some much-needed aftercare in store for her. and knowing bruce, he was going to make it his life's mission to make sure she is as comfortable as possible.
"alright.." she said eventually. she went to step out of his grasp, only for her legs to buckle under her weight on the first step. stifling a laugh, bruce scooped her into his arms bridal-style before she could even process what had happened.
"you still think he could fuck you better than me?" he teased as he pushed open the door. all she could do was giggle in response, resting her head on his shoulder as he carried her down the corridor and into their waiting car. as she'd suspected, she was showered in warm baths, cozy cuddles, and her favorite snacks for the rest of the evening, and though she was definitely sore, there was not a single ounce of regret in her mind.
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I love the Batsis that’s obsessed with cat woman, can we see how she Interacts with Selina in person?
A/N: OMG IM LITERALLY SO GLAD U ASKED. Also, sorry if this took a long time to answer!!
Oh and ur like 13 or 12 in this and Bruce and Selina are in a relationship (sorry if this was a stupid thing to metion)
I feel like it definitely depends on the situation, yk?
By that I mean whether or not batsis knows about Selina being Catwoman
If she doesn't know about it, she'll definitely fangirl about it to her
Since nobody else in the manor wants to talk about it, she's your last resort
It doesn't make her uncomfortable tho, she actually finds it kinda amusing
Like
Can you imagine your boyfriends daughter fangiling about how hot, badass, cool, and iconic you are without even knowing they're fangirling over you?
She'd listen closely to every word you say, pride swelling up in her chest
"She's so cool! I'm honestly kinda jealous of Batman." She smirked and looked over her shoulder at you before responding.
"Really? How so?" She asked curiously.
"I dunno man, I think it's the fact that he gets to hang out with her everyday. If I ever see batman I'm gonna ask him for her number."
"Hang on, how old are you? And how do you know Bruce won't blow up?" You stopped chewing on your cereal for a second, thinking about what you'd say next
"First of all, Bruce should be proud of me! I just got the phone number of one of the hottest and most iconic people to ever live. If he doesn't feel proud or at the very least jealous, I don't know how he'd feel" you shrugged mindlessly
"Ok, but how old are you?"
"... old enough"
Your definitely her favorite, but she'll never admit it
About the body pillow...
She'd probably buy you more just to piss off Bruce (he had no idea you bought it)
She'd also buy you a bunch of merchandise of her
This includes shirts, shoes, pants, hats, pillows, underwear, glasses, posters, socks, etc.
Are you sad?? Don't worry, she has a catwoman mug in her purse custom made just for you :))
On the other hand, if you already know who she is, it's gonna be a bit of a mess
You'd definitely figure it out after fangirling about her for almost 6 months
You'd feel a bit embarrassed for a second before quickly recovering and going back to normal (for the most part)
To say the least, you'd constantly try to get her number or at the very least flirt with her
You know those tiktoks talking abt poetic rizz? Just imagine that if they were brought to life and now it's you
You'd follow her around the halls of the manor and batcave while reading out one of the latest poems you either read or made just for her
She ends up having to stiffle a laughe whenever your reading it to her and Bruce comes in with a huge frown on his face
He'd tell you to stop only for you to continue shortly after he leaves the room
" I would rather swim in a stormy sea than sail calm waters without yo-" you were quickly interrupted when Bruce came busting through the door with a huge frown on his face
"Stop it! She's almost 20 years older than you, leave her alone"
"Oh my bad, I'll stop" you answered dryly
"Good" He said sternly before walking out the room, leaving you and Selina alone. You turned around to look at her with a cocktail smirk, "I think he's jealous I'm trying to steal his girl and it's actually working ;)"
Yea no Bruce absolutely hates it
He doesn't like the fact that her daughter is getting more attention from his gf than him😭😭
But he knows that she'd never leave him for a 13 year old girl with amazing rizz like you, right?
... right?
Every time she comes back from a mission without you, you'd ask he about it
You'll listen intently to every word she says, making tiny comments every now and then
Once you turn 18, you'd rent an apartment and let her know so she can visit whenever she wants (yea ur still obsessed with her)
One time, you ended up not going on patrol for a whole week because you were sickand she came to visit you with chicken soup in her hands
You thanked her profusely and kept on offering her some stuff like water or food but she always declined
She was your guest after all
Am iconic one at that
She'd watch movies with you for a while before eventually forcing you to sleep
Then next day she'd invite you to go rob some jewelry stores with her, ivy, and harley
Speaking of ivy and harley
they absolutely adore you!!
Ivy never fails to notice how all the plants around you seem to lean into you when you walk past them
Your like a magnet and she seems to have gotten stuck onto you as well
I REALLY HOPE THAT MADE SENSE😭😭
Harley also can't help but notice the way her hyenas cuddle up to your legs whenever you come over to her apartment
She'd smile softly from the kitchen as she watched you play around with Bud and Lou
Oh and Selinas cats also like u
You're actually kinda fond of cats but you've never met any until one day when you can over to Selinas appartment
You'd only ever seen cats on TV or on the internet but never in real life
You were having fun playing around with her 10 cats until you began aggressively sneezing lmao
You ended up spread out on the floor, arms outstretched as the cats began surrounding you
You were still sneezing, just not as bad anymore
That was until one of the cats walked up to your face and began licking your face
You could feel a strong sneeze coming up but you didn't want to scare him away so you ended up having to hold your breath so you wouldnt sneeze
You held it in for such a long time that even Selina wondered how you were still alive
But you couldn't hold it in for too long so you ended up sneezing anyways lmao
Sorry if this was kinda short, should I make a pt.2??
Oh and credits to @thesharktanksdriver , she inspired me to make this and u can tell bc I used the same layout as her. Her writing is amazing and I highly recommend you read it!!
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FicBit 6: Jason Todd/Tim Drake
Previous parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
In which Jason definitely does not freak out.
~
Jason did not have a gay freakout. Instead, he spent a few days reading up on sexuality. Treatises, studies, popular fiction. He remembered liking girls before he’d died but then he’d only been fifteen and it was hard to differentiate what specific part of “everything” was causing that minute’s uncomfortable state.
Sleeping together had been Talia’s idea; he hadn’t even thought about it, but at the time it seemed like a perfect, “Fuck you” to Bruce.
Not, he realized, like a closeness he’d wanted to share with Talia. No. A big old Fuck Bruce. He probably shouldn’t parse that one too closely either.
There was Essence, Isabel, and Artemis, and they had all counted. Again, he realized uncomfortably, he wasn’t usually the one pushing for intimacy. He could be a flirt and he’d definitely dropped enough hints to Artemis until she took pity on him - no. It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t sure what it was like, but it had been mutual. But she had left, and he had come home, and now he was here in Gotham with a crush on a guy he usually referred to as his brother.
Another can of worms but one less fraught than the others. Bruce thought of them as brothers. Dick thought of them as brothers. Jason and Tim hadn’t met until Tim was sixteen and Jason nineteen and well, that had a rocky start. They’d never lived together, they’d never really worked together until Mother and their months-long trek through the Middle East.
Roy felt more like a brother than Tim, so Jason called him.
“What’s going on?” Roy asked.
Jason hesitated, then blurted out, “I think I like Tim.”
“Tim Drake?” Roy asked.
“Yes,” Jason admitted.
“I mean. Most people do, dude. I know you’re pissed about him taking the Robin suit but you were AWOL for like - “
“No,” Jason interrupted. “I mean I think I like him. Like. Like him, like him.”
“Like want to make out with him?” Roy clarified.
“Yes. One hundred percent.”
“So…what’s stopping you?”
“Uh, mostly that he has a boyfriend. But don’t you find it kind of weird? That I’m suddenly into guys?”
“I mean, most of us experimented as kids, right? You never really got to do that so you’re doing it now. I’d kiss you but honestly how many of Dick’s exes do you want to score with?”
“Stop,” Jason ordered. “I don’t want to hear any more. And I didn’t score with any of Dick’s exes, We all crushed on Barbara. It was tradition.”
“I was talking about Kori,” Roy teased.
“Oh. Right. I never actually slept with Kori,” Jason admitted. “I just said I did so you wouldn’t hit on her.”
“And look how well that worked out.”
“Oh, shut up.”
~
Jasin was doing a little light Tim stalking around the marina.
Seriously, Timbourine, what was the point of arming the boat like the BatCave only to sit out on the deck canoodling with your boyfriend? Cannon Fodder was sitting between Tim’s legs, Tim’s arms around him, head tilted back on Tim’s shoulder. Jason felt a little green around the edges and this time he couldn’t blame it on the Pit.
He wasn’t going to *do* anything and he wasn’t going to *say* anything but then someone landed, featherlight, on the roof behind him and how had he failed to clock Dickie a building away.
“What are you doing?” Nightwing asked without much of a question in his voice. “What is going on with you? Are you stalking Tim?”
“No,” Jason said defensively. “I’m just. Looking out for him. Since he’s clearly not paying attention to anything.”
“Oh, you think not?” Dick said,because apparently something was happening over Jason’s shoulder. He whirled around with a little too much alacrity.
Tim was kissing Cannon Fodder goodbye at the edge of the boat and he definitely had one eye on the rooftops. Jason blamed Dick.
Dick gestured to Tim, who turned around and went below decks, and then rested a heavy hand on Jason’s shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on,” he said softly, which made everything Jason was feeling a thousand times worse. “But I’m going to guess and it’s up to you how wrong this guess is going to wind up.”
Jason sighed and turned away from the sightline of the boat. “So it turns out the guy I didn’t know I liked is in a disgustingly cute relationship and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that.”
He didn’t look at Dick’s face. There was nothing there he wanted to see.
“Tim’s happy right now,” Dick said. “You have no idea how happy.”
Jason had some idea. He had seen the smile on Tim’s face when he mentioned Cannon Fodder and he had heard the fondness on Tim’s face when Cannon Fodder came up.
“Oh, calm your tits,” Jason said. “I’m not gonna go beat up his little boyfriend.”
“That was, somehow, not even what I was going to worry about.” Dick sounded rueful. “I know things have been rough between you two and I want them to get better. But butting in on his relationship is not going to help. Maybe.” Dick sighed. “Maybe if this runs its course and you still feel…like you feel…maybe then you could ask him out. You gotta stop stalking him, though.”
“I’m not stalking him,” Jason said even though that was very much how he would have described his actions before Dick touched down.
“Hey,” a third voice interrupted. Tim. Glorious. “Dick, I got this.”
“Nothing to get,” Dick said lightly. “Just checking in on our little bro.”
“Appreciate it, but I’m good,” Tim said and did the bro hug thing with Dick. He was in the Robin uniform this time and it was strange to see him back in it after so long.
“All right,” Dick said. “I’m here if you need anything.” He grappled away with a warning glare at Jason.
Jason absolutely did not scuff his foot on the roof he and Tim were standing on. Absolutely not.
“You want to talk about it?” Tim offered.
“Nothing to talk about,” Jason said stubbornly.
“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “That’s what I said, too. So you want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” Jason reached for his hood and tried to put it on one-handed. He was usually better at that.
“I kissed you. And you kissed me back. And it was really good.”
“It was all right,” Jason conceded.
Tim grinned. “I guess,” he said. “Listen. I know it’s weird. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m with Bernard and I’m happy with him. But if I wasn’t, things would be…different.”
“Different how?” Jason gave up on putting on the hood. Hiding wasn’t an option right now.
Tim shrugged. “Maybe we’d do it again,” he said. “Maybe we wouldn’t. But um. I would probably want to.”
Tim wanted to.
“It’s never felt like that before,” Jason admitted hoarsely. “Never.” He finally lifted his eyes to look Tim square in the face. Tim looked sad, a little wistful and Jason took a step toward him.
“I can’t,” Tim said, but he didn’t back away.
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“What if?” Jason asked through a mouth as dry as the deserts of Qrac, “I don’t ever feel like this again?”
“You will,” Tim says after a moment. “It might - I don’t know. I don’t know what else is out there for you, Jason. I don’t. But I can’t be the only possible one for you.”
Because that would make him, Jason, the only possible one for Tim in exchange, Jason realized, and there was Cannon Fodder who lit up Tim’s eyes like sunshine.
“Yeah,” Jason agreed, even though he couldn’t fathom ever wanting anyone else.
“I know it hurts,” Tim said. His smile was sad. “I’ve been there.”
The SuperClone, Jason assumed. He didn’t ask. If Tim had felt even half the longing Jason did now, and he was happy now with Cannon Fodder, well. Jason could be happy, too.
~
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Brooklyn 99 AU with Tony and Bucky? I think there’s a lot of potential and unexplored aspects in this AU
Unfortunately my only knowledge of B99 is "BoOoOnE?!" and Andy Samberg sliding all the way to the elevator on perhaps-stocking-feet so this probably won’t be too faithful. I’ve made Tony a mixture of “I’m terrible at my job” Gina and “I don’t want my coworkers to know anything about me” Rosa.
--
“So,” Natasha said slowly.
Bucky narrowed his eyes at her from over the file he was reading. “So,” he replied.
“I heard that you flirted with Stark and he didn’t even notice,” Natasha said, lips curving into a mean smirk.
“Oh my god,” Bucky sighed, lifting his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then he dropped it, glaring at her. “Did you know he has two PhDs? I didn’t learn that from him. I learned it from Steve. Who learned it from Bruce, in forensics. Who only knew because he and Tony did dissertations at the same time and Tony told him not to worry so much because he’d already finished one and could give him tips.”
Natasha rolled her eyes, frowning, because it was no fun if Bucky didn’t take the bait. “Okay?”
“Why is he working here as Fury’s assistant if he has two PhDs?!” Bucky sputtered.
“To get back at my parents,” a voice behind him replied.
Bucky screeched and flailed backward in his chair so hard that he tipped over and fell onto his back. Upside down, he could see Tony leaning over him, eyebrow raised. He looked incredibly unimpressed. Bucky sighed. This must have been how Steve felt when he realized Sharon had watched him shove half a hoagie in his mouth in one go.
“...Anyway,” Tony said, setting some more folders on his desk. “Fury wanted me to give these to you.”
Bucky crawled up onto his desk to look at the files. “These have Steve’s name on them.”
“You’re basically the same person,” Tony reasoned. “And last time I saw him he was talking to Sharon so he’s going to be useless for the next three hours, and these are time sensitive.”
Bucky wrinkled his nose, then had to concede. Steve had almost puked the hoagie back up. It was hard to come back from that.
“So you don’t have a good relationship with your parents?” Natasha asked Tony carefully, because he rarely answered personal questions.
Tony turned to blink at her slowly. “I don’t have any,” he said, and then flounced away while she and Bucky gaped after him.
“Did Tony just say he got this job to get back at his parents and then say he didn’t have any parents?” Clint asked, looking up from his own desk, where he was definitely slacking off and playing minesweeper instead of filling in forms.
Thor turned from putting a picture up on the bulletin board. “Do you think that means his parents are dead?”
“I think it means Fury plucked Tony from the ground like a turnip,” Clint decided.
“You’re attracted to a turnip, haha,” Natasha told Bucky, and Bucky sighed and buried his face in his hands.
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Drift Away
Sooooo I don't really know what this is. I might continue it, if there's some interest. This is not at all my norm here on Tumblr so let's see how this goes!
Deathstroke/Slade Wilson and f!reader
Selina takes you to a Wayne charity gala, and you meet an intriguing man and bring home a souvenir.
Warnings: light thievery, Tension, cape and cowl crowd drama.
Word count: 1.2k
The gala was just like any other gala: full to the brim with riches and champagne, and dull. There was lots of networking going on among the elite, as always. Rumors and gossip flew like bullets, tarnishing reputations. Or, in some cases, helping them along.
You kept track of anything particularly interesting you heard as you slunk through the crowds. Selina had sent you off to make a circuit of the room, just to get you out of her hair for a few minutes while she flirted. Not that you minded - she was the mastermind. You were just the helpful friend.
Helpful friend that also knew how to pick pockets, anyway. You smiled slyly, pleased with yourself as you tucked a little diamond charm in your purse. You'd hang it in your room later, just for fun.
You weren't on the same level as Selina, but you could hold your own. You knew what you were doing. And you enjoyed the challenge.
You spotted Dick Grayson across the room, laughing with a few young women. Playing his part well, clearly. Bruce Wayne was nowhere to be seen, but he wasn’t your problem. He was very definitely Selina’s problem.
A few more minutes of wandering brought you back to Selina. She was gorgeous tonight, of course, classic and with just a flash of diamonds to draw the eye. She was a professional, through and through, and you couldn’t help but admire her a little.
“There you are, precious,” she murmured, smiling at you and snagging a glass of champagne to hand to you. “I was beginning to think I’d have to go find you.”
You smiled impishly with a careless shrug. “Oh, you know me. Restless feet.”
“Oh? And what did your restless feet find tonight?”
“Not much of note.” You shrugged. “For a Wayne gala.” In short: the usual, what the two of you had expected.
“Well, maybe you’ll find something fun to distract you.” Selina’s smile shone as bright as the diamonds in her ears. Which meant she wanted you to go find something fun to take, make a little distraction. Nothing huge, nothing incriminating. But she wanted more attention on you than on her.
And she was letting you pick your target, too.
“Oh, I certainly hope so.” You chuckled softly and took a sip of your champagne, gaze already wandering for a likely suspect. “In fact, I think I found something to distract me.” You winked at her and slipped away, back into the crowd.
Since this was essentially just for fun and for a distraction, you picked the biggest target you could. Literally. This man was tall, possibly taller than Bruce, and broad, with white hair held back in a ponytail, and a patch over one eye. His suit was charcoal gray and fabulously tailored, very flattering on him.
And his cufflinks looked to have something expensive in them. You couldn't quite tell from this angle, but the glint of light off them made you curious.
Besides, you rather wanted to see if you could get away with taking something of his.
Selina wanted a little distraction. Nothing huge.
So you "tripped" over another guest and stumbled into the huge man. You gasped and grabbed his arm to help steady yourself, and his free hand came up to your shoulder.
"Are you alright?" He looked down at you, blue eye bright and, if you were reading him right, amused.
"I'm okay," you agreed with a little laugh. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to grab you."
"Not a problem, miss." He lowered his hand, and you took a step back from him. He really was quite handsome.
There. Minor distraction caused. Your job here was done.
Except Dick Grayson stopped next to you, smile fixed firmly in place, eyes a little narrowed. "Slade! I wasn't expecting you tonight!"
The man, Slade, smirked just a little. "Dick," he greeted smoothly.
“Are you alright?” Dick turned his face towards you but didn’t fully look away from Slade.
“Just caught my shoe,” you said with an embarrassed laugh. You were beginning to regret your choice of targets. “I’m perfectly fine, I promise.”
Dick didn’t even respond, merely looking at Slade again. Still. Whatever. “I didn’t know you were back in Gotham. Here on business?”
Slade smirked, shifting his hands to tuck them into his pocket. He hesitated for a moment as he tucked in his left hand, the one that you’d taken the cuff link off of. There was no way he could have noticed that. No way.
But you dropped the cuff link. Just in case.
“Stopping overnight,” Slade answered in a smooth drawl. He had a hint of a southern accent still. “Thought I’d stop by and greet some old friends.” His teeth flashed in what might have been a smile.
You were beginning to suspect you had landed right in the middle of something much more dangerous than a little distraction.
“Oh!” you gasped, drawing the gaze of both men. “Did someone drop this?” You stooped briefly to pick up the cuff link off the floor.
Slade’s eye glinted at you and he tipped his head, just a little, a slow smile curling his lips. Normally you weren’t the biggest fan of facial hair, but his looked good. Not too long, nicely trimmed, clearly well kept. And he was clearly older than you. Damn but he was ticking too many of your boxes.
“It’s mine,” he rumbled, holding out a hand. “Thank you for spotting it. I would hate to lose one of a pair.”
You dropped the cuff link into his hand with a smile. “Of course! It would be a shame.” You glanced at Dick to find his jaw clenched. And your smile widened a little. Maybe a little more poking the bear. Just a little. “I’m sorry, we haven’t met.” You gave him your name, holding out your hand.
He reached out slowly, his hand completely engulfing yours. “Slade Wilson.”
“Slade doesn’t live in Gotham,” Dick said with forced cheer. “I’m sure that’s why you two haven’t met before. Say, is Selina around? I know Brucie was looking for her earlier.”
“Oh, she’s somewhere,” you deflected with a light laugh. Slade had scars on his knuckles, so small most people probably didn’t notice them. You weren’t most people. “You know how she is. But I see an old friend - will you two excuse me?”
Dick nodded, already refocused on Slade. Slade inclined his head to you, much more regal than anything you were used to seeing. You stepped between the two and placed one hand lightly on his right arm.
“It was lovely to meet you. I hope you have a good night.”
His smile was slow and almost predatory. “You as well,” he agreed.
You stepped past him and continued on your way. You kept your grin down until you were on the far side of the room, heart still pumping fast, adrenaline going.
That had been a bit of a rush. And just a little distraction.
Later that night, after you’d gotten back to your apartment and changed into comfortable clothes, you held up the cufflink you’d taken from his right sleeve and smiled. Pity you only had one of a pair.
--
Taglist: @beecastle @littlemisspascal @honey-im-hotdog
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Ohhhhh the Maronis are the werewolves ohhh that makes so much sense idk why I didn't figure that's what would be going on but I love that!!! Would Maroni in this case pretend to be an "honorable merchant" and patron of the arts like the Medici? Or would he not care about that and solely work his secret werewolf operations?
Also yess yess yes yes love those identity concepts you talked about, the whole part about him putting up walls and polishing his perfect persona only causing people to get jealous and scrutinizing him even more which in turn makes him wall up even more...fantastic! Also since you mentioned the chivalrous code: since you're tumblr user t4tbruharvey I'm assuming there will be, well, bruharvey content in this AU so would that also follow the chivalrous code? That is, with the whole back and forth of "the knight must always pursue but the lady must always decline or else it would put shame on them respectively" which was basically the only acceptable way of flirting? Would there. Would there be the whole thing of court poem readings where the liege would pay their poet to make an anonymous song or poem about their lover and then sing it in front of the whole audience, but it's anonymous so only the liege and their lover know it's about them? (That was an actual thing they did back then btw in case you haven't heard of it yet) Also "which is a nice contrast to harley who i think doesn't necessarily get to be stealth and maybe wouldn't really want to be" oh does that mean trans Harley? Hell yeah!
Oof so it was deliberate huh? Well then I hope Ivy could get her revenge because Wow that sucks. Also oh hell yeah the greenish-teeth fae thing sounds so fun and creates a very vivid visual design image ! The erlking is ofc a more modern poem though so the poems ideas of the fae don't necessarily align with the actual medieval ideas of them but it's still got some fun ideas imo like the fae looking like trees or mist to the father...
Yep the ideas about conception are very ..interesting and very different from what it is actually like/how it's seen nowadays. It might be a bit much to get into here but if you want I can explain it separately and also go more in depth on the four humor theory because I always think that one is fun and people back in the days definitely would use it to describe someone's personality. OH ALSO ACTUALLY jbdbbd it would play into the "trans woman batman" headcanon now that I think of it because according to the four humor theory Bruce definitely would be a melancholic and that was seen as a predominately feminine personality. Anyways though if you want I could go more in depth with that?
maroni totally 100% pretends to be an honourable merchant and i'm gonna say the falcones have been out of the picture for a while by now so he's one of the main patrons of the arts and he probably does stuff at wayne castle (it's a castle aha) because he has a position of power and he was doing shady werewolf dealings (intimidation to help him bend the law) on the side, which is why everyone was so pissed off about it when they found out.
there is ABSOLUTELY going to be bruharvey i have like half a fight and 2/3s of a kiss written. it's a bruharvey fic i am a predictable beast :-) and i think bc of the circumstances they're in at the start, with bruce already batman and most definitely unaware of gender stuff, i think i might end up having chivalrous code stuff be like... kind of a fantasy bruce used to have before they drifted apart like he was soooo in love with harvey and he wanted to be courted officially (bruce voice oh hey what does that mean for my gender let's not think about that one aha!!) and then his feelings sort of mellowed and they're still there but it's just like a quiet part of him now as opposed to consuming his every waking thought? which, hilariously, is what harvey is gonna be experiencing with batman in a little while which is gonna be SOOO fun for me because he DOES have weird fantasies about like 'the dark knight' courting him and be sort of uncomfortable with where that positions him and like. you know the song howl by florence + the machine? there's a bit that goes 'the fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress' and harvey is gonna mourn his cissona a little bit in that weird way he does
melancholic bruce!!! transfem bruce bc he's melancholic i can DEFINITELY have harley bring up the humours bc it's a thing she'd know about she WILL clock bruce's egg because she's been there before i am indeed doing transfem harley it's just a fun thing for me it's crucial to harlvey bonding and anyway i would absolutely love to hear you talk about conception and the humours if you're inclined to talk about them <3
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Mutual pining with Bruce Wayne
pairing(s) battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader
warnings: the super oblivious pining trope and flustered bruce
MASTERLIST
poor guy has been absolutely head. over. heels. for you for YEARS
he just can't help it, everything you do iust mesmirises him and he just stands there in awe
it's so ironic to him when people call him the "prince of gotham" and tease him saying he could have everything he wants because, well, the only thing he wants is within arms reach every day of the week, yet still feels so far away
often reads books amd can't help but picture himself readimg next to you, his arm loosely around your shoulders as he kisses you cheek with a grin, or vice versa
poor alfred is stuck being the wingman and he's just so done with it
"alfred i- i think i love y/n" "woah- really- wow bruce i could've- damn i could've never guessed..." "alfred...i- i think im in love with bruce..." "poor yo- i mean, woah! that's news to me!!" he's practically become a master of sarcasm over the years because of you two
you know those hugs where you kinda just cling to eachother as if the world will end if you split apart? yeah, those on the daily
bruce is so terrified of the idea of confessing that i feel like he'll close himself off for quite a while
he still finds himself craving your touch though, like sometime he'll snap back into reality to find you both basically leaning on eachother, with no doubt who started the oddly intimate exhange he just goes bright red and savours the moment, neither of you can see, but you both have giddu grins painted on your faces as you lean your heads against eachother, peering out the window at the city
he always misses the longing looks that are shot his way when he leaves a room, the desperation to ask him to come back to you cut short by hesitation and panic
somehow always manages to catch your eye from across the room though, he'll just give you a tiny, soft smile. honestly it's so baffling to everhone else how the two of you haven't confessed your paralysing adoration for eachother because you both melt under eachother's gaze
always journals about his frustrations at himself for either developing the feeling or not acting on them, most often the latter
when he gets chances on patrols, you're the only thing he thinks about, he just can't get your laugh or your smile out of his head
always takes you out on cute little outings that're the literal definition lf dates and you're both just so desperate to label them as such, but neither pf you make the first move so it's all just left to speculation
writes you little notes that're oddly sweet and leaves them around your apartment whenever he visits
on celebrations like valentine's day and your birthday he'll get you two presents, giving you one in person and mailing the other to you anonymously. it'll just come with like a card that says "from your admirer" or something with roses and a small heart ring. i feel ike he's get jealous of himself when he sees you swoon over the gifts and ponder the identity of the sender
you'd probably be a bit more open with your affection? even if it's just a tiny bit more open about it. like if it's just gifts or a small kiss on the cheek or forehead that'll just make him melt into a bright red mess
if you didn't know about the bat he'd definitely use it to kinda flirt and be a bit more free and open with his feelings, without exposing who he is. so naturally, he's so defeated when you don't reciprocate and tell him you habe your eye on someone else
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My thoughts on DC vs Vampires #6
I really liked this issue because SHIT HIT THE FAN!!! THERE’S SO MUCH DRAMA!!!
BUT I have issues because the plot and characterization is all over the place so lets talk about it lol
(Spoilers under cut duh)
I’m glad that Joker isn’t on the vampire team and vampire leader because he’s dead. The writers were flirting with the idea that Joker could be a big vampire but I’m glad that he's not involved at all. As it should (If only DC would kill him in a canon comic maybe I'd be happier lol).
This is definitely foreshadowing:
I think it’s possible that someone will kill Dick since he’s the Vampire King, but it won't be Bruce that's for sure.
If Bruce survives and shows up in the next issue, I will actually be mad because nah look at this he’s definitely dead:
The feels 😭
Dick is looking very sexy rn yup
God Alfred’s face, he's literally in shock and poor Dami ���
Hopefully nobody takes this the wrong way, but Dick claiming that he’s better than all of the Batfam is not a stretch since he definitely has the most experience imo. So Dick saying this to Cass should not be taken personally, nobody can take Cass’ amazing fighting skills but Dick has won against others who had huge fighting advantages against him. And Vampire Dick winning the fight makes sense because the vampires have powers, and the plot is in their favour at the moment so it makes sense for the heroes to lose rn and maybe win in the final issue.
If you’re offended by his statement you could interpret this scene differently: Dick said it to hurt Cass so he can win the fight by mocking her. BUT I don't think that he would need to do that because he's a newly-turned powerful Vampire, he would’ve won the fight regardless because you know, he has powers now. So this interpretation doesn’t make sense.
I understand if people are still offended by this, because Cass still gets treated poorly by DC in canon continuity.
Dick calling Bruce “Father” rubs me the wrong way because it implies that he doesn’t see Bruce as a father-figure, and that bothered me. I hope he said that to hurt Tim and that the real Dick inside doesn't believe that statement.
Jason goes back to try to save Damian 💔
Oof this page is a mess lol
Dick: “You can't win, Jason. I was better than you everytime that we ever faced off, and now I’m godlike.”
Fair lol
Jason: “I was holding back.”
I think this line is supposed to redeem Jason to show that he IS an extremely skilled vigilante because of writers doing him dirty for years. They are trying to re-establish his competence (See Task Force Z #6). Jason NEVER said “I was holding back because I’m better than you” he says SIMPLY “I was holding back” which means that Jason holds back in fights when he’s fighting against his family members and that they underestimate him (Example 1: RHATO Rebirth #25, Bruce almost beats Jason to death and Jason doesn’t even fight back in the end, he lets Bruce hurt him). People are reading this too seriously and think that Jason is shitting on Dick here but I don't see that. So Dick Stans don't take out your pitchforks and torches just yet!
This issue is also co-written by Rosenberg, who is currently writing Jason in Task Force Z so I’m pretty sure this is what they’re going for.
Dick: “It’s not too late to join me, Jason. I’m suddenly in need of a new Lieutenant.” (Rip Hal lol)
Jason: “All these years spent living in your damn shadow, and you think I want to spend eternity under you? You don't get me at all, man. [...] Everyone said you were the best to ever do it. [...] But I always knew someday you’d screw up worse than anyone.”
Ok NOW Dick Stans can get angry lol (Myself included). This is really not it. I really hate this new relationship dynamic they're writing between Dick and Jay rn because he’s never had this animosity towards Dick before. Discowing Dick and Robin Jay used to be really close, when Jason was Robin he was compared to Dick by Bruce a few times but Alfred told him to stop.
From Batman (1940) #410: Alfred asking Bruce to stop talking about Dick too much.
When Jason came back as Red Hood and became an anti hero, they established a decent brotherly/coworker relationship and kept their distance (Leaving out Jason’s Evil era because most of it isn’t canon anymore). Jason “hating” Dick is a fanon interpretation that is slowly weaselling itself in the comics and I am NOT a fan.
Dick: “Sounds like you have a lot of issues to work through. [...] Luckily you’ll have centuries to do it. [...] Did you really think she was going to stay tied up forever?”
OHHH SHIT
Dick getting cornered by Jason was definitely a setup to turn him into a vampire 100%.
Omg my heart 💔 Jay tried to kill Dick but lost because of their trap, and asks Oliver to kill him. This scene is really good, I liked it a lot.
Even though I wanted to see him be evil and join the vampires, it makes sense for Jason’s character to sacrifice himself. I’m emotional.
Umm Dick... this was you 5 seconds ago:
You killed Tim with NO hesitation 🤨
I didn't know that you’re such a picky bitch Dick SKSKSSKSKSKSKSKKSKS
NOOOO poor Dami 😭
I’m already impatient for next month because I wanna see what happens to him, he needs to be okay and back with his family!!! 😠
So that was all of my thoughts on DC vs Vampires #6, it had its rocky moments for sure but I'm not taking this seriously because its a non-canon story. Dick finally has a huge part in a story that isn't canon, and isn’t dead for once (the others haven't been spared lol). We will just have to see how it ends because I hope it gets better ♥️
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Jealousy, Jealousy (Wanda Maximoff x fem reader)
pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem reader
Summary: reader is a shy and insecure Avenger whit a crush on Wanda, but she never made the first move on the sokovian. What if, during a party, finally something happens between the two of them?
Warnings: angst, reader being insecure, language (I think?), alcohol and sexual tension (feel free to tell me if I should add more).
English is not my first language, so bare with my grammar please, lol. This is my first fanfiction ever so forgive me if it's not anything special or it is lame.
I got inspired by "Jealousy, Jealousy" by Olivia Rodrigo, so I suggest you listen to it while reading, if you want.♥️
You hated them. You hated Tony's parties.
Don't get me wrong, you enjoyed the Avengers company, but parties were definitely not your thing. You always felt... out of place.
You were fine with chatting with the team during this day when you spent some time together, but when parties where that huge like tonight's one, all you wanted to do was staying in your room.
The fact is that you can't help but compare yourself to the others. You never felt enough and you were intimated by Tony's friends and the other heroes. You were just... You. No one special with no cool superpowers, you were good at hand to hand combat and you were really smart, but that was it; you always thought that was lame. Like that wasn't enough, you were the newest recruit in the team. The Avengers all welcomed you well and you grew attached to all of them, especially Natasha, but still, you didn't feel like that was enough for you to be considered "the cool Avenger", and you were still private about your feelings and emotions; when something was wrong the only answer that you had when they asked you what bothered you was "it's nothing". But it wasn't nothing. You felt an outsider in the team, you felt like you weren't enough for them and the worst part is that you knew it was all in your head, but you couldn't help it.
The first person that always comes to your mind when you think of someone cool is Wanda. Her powers affascinates you and you loved her determination. You can't say you two are close, but she always treated you well and she respected your boundaries, that's why now you have a crush on her and that's part of the reason you didn't want to go to the party. Seeing her well dressed while smiling to people who weren't you and while Vision was trying to get her attention would only make it worse.
You considered staying in your room while scrolling your social media, not having any strength to get up and get ready, especially when you were still in your bathrobe and your thoughts were only about a certain witch. However you knew Natasha would've dragged you out of the room if you wouldn't come so, after a few curses and annoyed groans, you threw your phone on the pillow and started to get dressed.
You didn't want to get the attention to you, people would start a conversation and tonight you weren't into it at all, so you opted for a green skirt and a black, cropped sweater and a little bit of makeup. Nothing more.
I'm already so sick of this bullshit, you thought to yourself, then you took a deep breath and went downstairs.
–
As you expected, the biggest room of the Stark Tower was filled with people you didn't know, but you were sure they were mostly Tony's friends.
They were all so confident with their drinks in hands, perfect combed hair and fancy dresses worth millions of dollars.
You weren't nothing like these people: you didn't get why people would spend millions for pieces of cloth. It was a waste of money, but how you wished you saw it differently, maybe you would be one of these apparently happy people with a lot of friends, and not the weirdo of the group with a lack of confidence so evident you couldn't even enjoy a relaxing event.
A few tears tried to escape your eyes, but you wouldn't let them. Steve was watching you and, from the look he was giving you, he already sensed something was off with you; so you did what was best and faked a smile, which he returned gladly before he went back to his conversation with Bucky.
You felt like a creep standing in the corner of the room doing nothing, so you started looking around searching for Nat. After a few second you saw her talking, or better, flirting with Bruce at the bar while she had a Martini on her hand.
You frowned sympathetically. Cute. He really likes her a lot, you thought seeing Bruce embarrassed and intimidated by the widow.
Suddenly a waiter asked you if you wanted a glass of wine and you accepted, maybe a little alcohol would help you get through this more easily. You took a sip and enjoyed the feeling of the wine in your throat.
“This is ridiculous.” you whispered.
“What is ridiculous?” you heard someone ask you.
You turned to see who it was and that's when you saw her: Wanda was smiling at you with a curious expression on her face.
You blinked a few times, amazed by the girl in front of you: she was wearing a short, black dress, and her ginger hair was loose on her shoulders. She decided to put on a little bit of makeup and a red lipstick. Not like her typical style, but you liked her anyway. She was always so beautiful.
You shook your head, realizing she was waiting for an answer. "Uhm, parties, I guess.” She nodded. “I mean, Tony's events are always too exaggerated.” you added before biting your lips, clearly embarrassed.
“I know how you feel.” Wanda agreed. “I always have to try so hard to fit in during things like these.” She chuckled while looking around the room.
“Well, at least you're trying.” You said before giving her a dry laugh, looking down at your glass.
The ginger tilted her head sympathetically. “Well, maybe that's the problem.”
You frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean... trying too hard is the problem.” She explained. “If you feel like you have to try so hard it becomes unbearable, maybe that means that the thing you're doing is not good for you.” She added before biting the inside of her cheek.
You simply hummed in agreement and took another sip of wine, too intimated by her beauty.
Don't think something awkward. She can read minds. Don't think how beautiful she is- shit. Stop thinking.
“If you'll excuse me, Vision is looking for me.” She said with a smirk on her face before leaving you alone again.
You watched her walk away, analizing her every move. God, how you wanted her to be yours. She was not, of course. Why would she be with someone like you? She could have Vision and every other man in this room, so why would she choose a girl like you? Speaking of the devil, Vision approached her with a few guys and she gave him her brightest smile.
You watched all the interaction, still in the corner of the room.
He was so confident with his perfect posture and his good manners. He would be the best for her. He's the kind of man, or synthezoid, or whatever, that could always reassure her and find the perfect words to make her feel better. He would try and cheer her up and find the better jokes to tell, just like he's probably doing right now. In fact the sokovian was laughing at something he said and her beautiful laugh echoed through the room.
You felt jealousy rush through your veins.
“I wanna be him so bad!”
All the people in the room turned to look at you with puzzled expression.
Your eyes went wide when you realized you practically yelled what you wanted was just a thought so, without a second thought, you rushed out of the party and went straight to your room.
You slammed the door and let the tears escape. You took off your make up and headed straight to bed, overthinking what just happened, screaming in your pillow.
I always ruin everything!
You didn't expect you would've said that out loud and right now you didn't expect to hear someone to knock on your door. You didn't answer, though, you kept your head buried in the pillow. It was probably Natasha who wanted to talk about what happened and you definitely weren't going to say a word.
The door opened anyway and you groaned in annoyance.
“Listen, Nat-” You started to say but stopped immediately when you saw it wasn't the russian spy, but Wanda.
“Hi.” She greeted you with a shy smile. “May I sit?” She asked pointing the bed.
You composed yourself and nodded shyly. “Yeah.”
Wanda gave you a swift smile and sat next to you, crossing her legs on the bed. Your breath itched when you felt your knees touching. You two have never been this close and the situation was making you nervous, thing that didn't go unnoticed by Wanda considering the fact that you were playing with the ring on your index finger.
You never noticed but Wanda knows you very well. She knows your moves, the way you play with your hands when you're nervous, the way your eyes shine when you talk about your interests or the way you are quieter than usual when you're sad.
The truth is that Wanda liked you very much and she knew you liked her too. She didn't want to tell you 'cause she wanted you to take courage and say it first and, to be fully honest, she was scared. What if your crush was temporary and you would eventually get bored? What if she loses you just like she lost her parents and Pietro? She would never, ever accept it.
“So... Why did you run away?” She asked like it wasn't obvious you just yelled in front of everyone.
“Are you seriously asking, Wanda?” You snapped before you could stop yourself.
She looked at you with sad eyes before looking down at her hands. “Sorry…”
“No, no... Don't apologize.” You whispered. “You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have… God, I'm pathetic.”
You threw your head in your hands and sighed. I'm so sick of myself!
“Why are you sick of yourself?” The sokovian asked you before placing a hand on your knee.
You looked at the hand and then at her.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have read your mind, but sometimes your thoughts are really loud.” she chuckled, starting to rub her thumb on your knee. You were speechless, all this interaction was making you crazy. You craved more of her touch and now, more than ever, you wanted to kiss her. However you pushed those feelings aways and started to open up to avoid thinking about something inappropriate. “I'm just… me. I mean, I'm not special.”
“Why do you think that?” She asked raising an eyebrow, her hand never leaving your skin.
You took a deep breath. “Wanda, come on! Tony's friends are so cool, he's loved by everyone, Natasha is a badass russian spy, you have these amazing superpower. Thor is literally a God, for fuck's sake!”
“You compare yourself to the others too much. It's not healthy, Y/N.” She sweetly stated wiping away a tear from you cheek.
You closed your eyes for a second, enjoying her touch, but then you came back to reality. “I know, but I can't help it. The others seem to be so confident and happy, and all the girls at the party... Fuck, they're so pretty-”
"Beauty is not your lack.” She interrupted you smirking, her hand still on your cheek.
“I- I just wish I was them... I wish I had the courage Vision has.” You admitted, looking down.
“Why him?” The ginger asked placing two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at her in those piercing green eyes.
“Because I'm so jealous he gets all your attentions and I don't just because I'm too insecure.” You said it in a whisper, almost inaudible, but Wanda heard you and you knew judging by the smile on her face.
“You want my attentions?” She asked leaning in.
Her face was so close to yours that it was hard to breathe. You could smell her perfume and that alone was making you want her more. You had the urge to kiss her and touch her and taste her, but right now Wanda was waiting for a response so you simply nodded, not trusting your voice.
“You already have them.” She admitted, making you frown in confusion. “There might be a hundred people in the room, but I would always notice you and only you, Y/n.” You were speechless, partly because of her confession, partly because she was so damn close to your face it made your heart race fast, and before you could realise, she kissed you.
Her lips were so soft against yours and her hands were in the right places. However, after a few moments, you realized you froze and didn't reproached the kiss. Wanda broke the kiss, a disappointed look on her face.
“I'm sorry, I thought you liked me t-”
Before she could finish her sentence, you kissed her. You kissed her with so much confidence it surprised both you and Wanda.
Your right hand was on her neck and the other was on her waist, pulling her close.
You felt her smirk on the kiss and the hand that before was on your knee now was up your thigh.
“God, this skirt was making me crazy the whole night.” She breathed out, making the hand go higher and higher where you needed it the most.
Before you could realize you still had your party outfit on, Wanda started caressing slowly your inner thigh, making you gasp. Hearing the affect she had on you, the ginger bite your lobe before whispering something that made you shiver.
“Let me show you all the attentions I have for you, babygirl.”
alright, that was it. I know it's not good, but I had this idea the other night and I just had to write it.
Feedback is appreciated. <3
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Mission In Progress
Steve Rogers x daughter!reader
Summary: Steve realizes that his past behavior may have cost him the love of his daughter.
A/n: Hello! This is the second part to my Steve Rogers series! I hope you like it and also I hope y’all get the little references I put in these lol💕
Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What do you mean Natasha taught you?”
Oh shit.
That was the collective thought between you, Nat, Clint, and Tony. It was well known among the team that Steve didn’t want his daughter learning ANY form of self defense, but those four thought that was ridiculous. She was Captain America's daughter, she definitely would need to fight off an enemy sooner or later.
“well...nat taught me the basics on how to defend myself, she said it would come in handy someday.” You say quietly, picking the thread on your sleeve rather than looking at your father.
“Romanoff, you taught her how to fight?” Steve said, fury bleeding into his eyes. “I made it perfectly clear--”
“Steve, its unreasonable for her not to know how to fight, she's the daughter of one of the worlds greatest defenders. If she doesn’t fight, she’s dead.”, Natasha said bluntly, staring Steve in the face as the other Avengers grew uncomfortable.
“She’s perfectly fine, it’s not like she leaves the Tower anyway.”
“Because if she did, you’d have someone follow her. It’s creepy, man” Tony butts in with a roll of his eyes. By now both Bruce and Thor had silently left the room, as both of them would be useless in this conversation.
“Oh, so Tony Stark is gonna teach me how to raise a kid? Isn’t that ironic.”
“It’s not like you’re doing any better on your own. All Y/n does is stay in her room and write in that book of hers, she doesn’t even talk to people her own age.”
“It’s safer that way and you all know it” Steve snaps, refusing to even look your way. “ I set those rules for a reason, and I don’t appreciate my team mate or friends going behind my back and breaking them.”
“Look, Steve we love you, but the way you’re going about this whole parenting situation is completely wrong.” Clint finally says. “ I get that you were thrusted into this role, we all do. But man, you can protect Y/n from everything and it’s not healthy for her to be locked away in the tower like--”
“Like some modern day Rapunzel”
“Thank you, Tony.”
“You all know the reason why she’s not allowed to leave. Its just safer that way.” Steve says, expecting the conversation to be over. “ Now, we’ll talk about this when we get back to --”
“You don’t lock me away for my protection” You say looking up with a determined face. Steve, obviously stunned you called him out like that turned to you and said
“ Excuse me?”
“ It was never about me. If you wanted me to be safe, you would have taught me how to defend myself as soon as you could. You would have told the world about me, just to make sure everyone knows not to mess with me.” You say, your brow furrowed. “ You say its for safety, but who’s safety is it really for?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve says in a low, slow tone.
“Everytime I come in a room, you tense up like I’m going to attack you.” You start to say, realizing that once you reveal what you noticed, things will never be the same. “ You monitor everything I do. You never allow me to be alone. You don’t talk to be about missions and don’t allow anyone else to.” You stand up off the couch. “ You refuse to acknowledge my mother, and won’t even let read the journal she left me.”
“That’s enough Y/n”
“No!” You shout. “ It’s not fair I don’t understand why you treat me like this.” Steve looks at you in surprise.
“ Y/n, you don’t understand.”
“ I do. You don’t trust me.” You finally say. “ You haven’t from day one, and I don’t know why. It's not like a six year old is a Hydra agent by disguise.”
Hearing this Steve freezes. He knows that all this surveillance was unnecessary. And deep down he knew that you could never hurt not even a fly. but that tiny voice in his head got the best of him. And even though he grew to love you more than he’d like to admit, the thought of you being am enemy scared him.
“ You are a threat.” Steve says stubbornly. “ You came out of nowhere, with nothing but a note in the middle of the night. Your mother is nowhere to be found, and I have no idea who to even look for. You look nothing like me and defiantly don’t act like me.”
Hearing these words is like a knife being repeatedly stabbed in your heart. It’s one thing to think that your dad doesn’t love you, it's another to hear them directly from his mouth.
“ I have done nothing for you to treat me like this. I have done nothing to lose your trust. I didn’t ask for my mother to leave me here with you. It’s not my fault.” You say, tears starting to well up in your eyes. “ That robot asked me to go with him you know?”
The whole room freezes. You never mentioned that when Clint picked you up from the Tower.
“ He asked me to go with him, because he said I had no one. I had nothing to loose. And now” You let tears run down your face. “ Now that I know he’s right, I still wouldn’t go with him. Because I would NEVER want someone to get hurt because of me.” And with that you pushed past the group of superheros and ran outside. You didn’t know where you were going, but you had to get out of that house.
You walk into town and into a bookshop that was surprisingly open at this hour. The clerk looked at you in annoyance as you wandered the isles quietly. Picking up a copy of Romeo and Juliet, you walk toward the counter to pay.
“Tch, Romeo and Juliet?” The cashier says
“What about it?” you ask, puzzled that he cared enough to mention it.
“Nothing if you’re thirteen and never had a boyfriend.”
“Oh really?” You say, eyes lighting up at the chance to talk to someone your own age without the gaze of an agent boring into your back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, there was a tense silence in the house. Steve left with the words you told him rattling in his brain.
“You know, Y/n always used to come to me for help picking out the perfect father's day gift for you.” Clint said breaking the silence in the room. “ She insisted we wake up hours before you to go to the shops just to surprise you. She loved wrapping the gift and the thought of making you happy.” He smiled bitterly. “ I loved every second of it, watching her reminded me of my own family. It broke my heart to see her little face deflate when you barely acknowledged the gift and treated it like it was a bomb or something.” He shakes his head and walks out. Natasha follows him and says ‘ Its late, it's not safe for her to be out there alone, I’m going to look for her.”. Then she’s gone. Leaving only Tony and Steve in the living room. It’s quiet for a few minutes. They can hear Clint playing with his children, Lila laughing as Cooper and Clint chase her.
“ You know, all my life I had to wonder if my dad loved me too.” Tony said suddenly. “ I guess that’s why I got along with Y/n so well.”
Steve sat on the couch and sighed. “ I guess I could’ve approached this differently.”
“That's your problem Rogers, you treat her like a mission. She’s a kid. Even I know that you can’t raise a kid that way.”
Steve exhaled through his nose. “So, what do you think I should do?”
Tony rolled his eyes again.” Well for one, you can go look for your fourteen year old daughter who ran out in the middle of the night in an area she doesn’t know.”
Steve's eyes widened and he shot up, “ Shit, I- I have to go find her.” and with that he ran out of the living room, leaving Tony alone as he heard him shout
“Language!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn’t take long for Steve to get into town. The only problem he really faced was figuring out where you might be. Almost everything was closed except for a liquor store and some bars. He started to panic, as he started to think about the possibility of you being hurt or kidnapped or--
“Hey bomb pop, over here” someone whispers
Steve looks around to see Natasha standing in front of a bookshop. He jogs up to her and asks
“Nat what are you--” “SHHH, look” she points into the window.
At first Steve didn’t know what he was looking at. All he saw was two kids flirting on some bean bags. But then he looked closer and realized that was his kid flirting on some bean bags. He got ready to burst in there and drag her out, which surprised him.
“What are you doing” Natasha harshly whispered, “This is the first time in years y/n has talked to someone her age, and I will NOT let you ruin it.”
“But does it have to be a boy” Steve whines, then he shrinks back as Nat glares at him.
“You have no right to play protective daddy right now, you--”
“Dad? Nat?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been about an hour since you started talking to Levi, the cashier. Even though he insulted your book choice
“It’s a play about two bratty kids who think they’re in love and then kill themselves, its pathetic”
He’s interesting. He has this harsh exterior that is refreshing to you. You liked that he didn’t handle you with kids gloves like the rest of the Avengers did. He let you stay behind after closing as long as you helped him clean, but you didn’t last long because apparently you “cleaned like a blind person with no hands” whatever that means. After cleaning you two sat and talked about music and his friends. It was nice. That was until you felt eyes on you.
Looking out the window you noticed two figures staring at you. One petite red head and a tall blonde to be more specific. Rolling your eyes, you say goodbye to Levi and thank him for one of the best nights you’ve had in a while. As you left he did something that surprised you.
“Hey brat, here’s my number.” He says as he gives you an old receipt, “ Don’t expect me to text you all night, I have a life too.”
You just smile and say thank you, blushing as you realize this was your first friend in years. You put the number in your pocket and walk outside.
“Dad? Nat?” You ask, cutting their little squabbling short. “What are you two doing here?”
Nat and Steve stand up straight.
“It was getting late and I was worried so I came to find you” Natasha said, “ But it seems to me that you were quite alright in there” She finishes with a smirk. You blush as you try to think of a retort. Before you say anything, you hear your dad clear his throat. You roll your eyes.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t getting intel on how to kill you or whatever you think what will happen if i make friends.” You again push past the two avengers, your good mood spoiled as you walk away. You hear some harsh whispering then your name is called.
“Y/n” your father calls, “I think we need to talk.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag list: @angeldreineedshelp @night-thinqer @ilyimagines @vxidsti1es @big-galaxy-chaos
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You come here often?
Prompt: Bruce x reader soulmate au where the first words your soulmate says to you appears on your body.
Pairing: Bruce Banner x reader
Warnings: very slight angst (internal, self-doubt), like one curseword
Word count: ~1400
A/N: Likes, reblogs, and feedback makes my heart happy <3 Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own!
**i don’t own marvel** **not my gif**
It wasn’t ideal, really. But it also could have been worse. He’d seen soulmate marks that were insults, curses- some really downright vile things, so it definitely could have been worse. That didn’t mean looking down to his wrist and seeing the words “That physically hurt me” didn’t fill his chest with anxiety.
He’s hurt a lot of people in his lifetime. A walking mass of destruction with no limits, a time bomb of green that seemed to go off at all the wrong times.
He couldn’t imagine getting the privilege of meeting his soulmate only to hurt him or her, to see the utter fear in their eyes that he’s seen in so many others. To cause them pain by his actions, to have to live with himself after it- what if it was bad? What if those were the last words they would speak not only to him, but to anyone at all?
The thought of it alone kept him up some nights- a faceless body puppeteering his dreams, causing him to wake up sweaty and breathless and a little green around the edges.
He usually kept a wristwatch over the words, it wasn’t uncommon for people to keep their marks private. Less likely that someone twisted would try to fake a meeting. The only person he had shown was Tony, who tried his best to calm his anxieties (His own wrist had Pepper’s iconic “Wow, you really are an asshole” after coming for an interview and finding him half naked and hungover in his office. They had been happily married for two years now)
So, he tried not to worry- he really did, but every time he would take his watch off to sleep or shower the harsh black words on his wrist made his head spin with the possibilities of what was to come.
-
He hated parties. Didn’t matter the occasion. Being in a loud, crowded room with warm bodies and fake smiles dripping with complementary liquor- it made him and the other guy incredible antsy.
Despite knowing how much Bruce despised parties, and the threat that he was putting everyone in attendance in, Tony managed to drag him to nearly every single event he hosted.
This time it was a charity event, Stark Enterprise making some big donation to a charity to clean up a little of the bad publicity and backlash the last Avengers battle had created.
That being so, alongside his teammates was a pool of unfamiliar faces. He nursed his drink and surveyed the room, heart pounding as his feet did an antsy shuffle.
Steve and Bucky were playing pool against Sam and Natasha, Thor and Rhodey were trading stories with important looking men in crisp suits, Pepper was making small talk with some of the women from the charity board, and Tony was no where to be found; ultimately, Bruce was on his own.
Logically, he knew that, and yet he had the feeling that he wasn’t. He felt a pair of eyes on him from the side, and turned to see a pretty woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and stealing a glance at him.
She gave a polite smile before ducking her head and turning away, clearly not expecting to have been caught. Or- maybe she had wanted to be caught? He wasn’t very good with these kinds of things.
“That’s Y/N Y/L/N, she works on the head committee of the charity.” Tony says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and making Bruce nearly spill his drink. “Jesus Tony- don’t sneak up on me like that,” he yelped, running his hands through his hair and trying to calm his raising pulse. Tony simply ignored him and continued speaking.
“Spoken with her a few times- super nice, uses big words I don’t understand. Right up your ally,” he said with a wink. “Go talk to her” he ordered, giving him a slight shove in her direction.
“No- no! Tony, I don’t.. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” He fought, before Tony interrupted him- “Uh uh, no if ands or buts mister, I’m tired of seeing you sulking at these things. She’s smart. She’s pretty. You’re smart. You look half way decent cleaned up, go talk to her.” and with a final shove from Tony he decided to give in, blowing out a sigh and downing the rest of his drink.
He tried to calm his heart rate as ran his fingers through his unruly hair, wishing he had put a little more effort into getting ready today. He slowly made his way to stand by the bar where the woman was sitting, giving her a shy smile as she turned to acknowledge his presence.
Panic. Panic. Panic. “So, uh, you come here often?” He stuttered out, immediately cringing and wishing he was still in his bed- or curled up in a ditch and dead, whichever would come quicker. God, he couldn’t believe he just said that!
She snorted into her drink, nose scrunching into a cringe and she shook her head at his awful line,
“That physically hurt me. Ouch, oh god you really need to work on your flirting skills, if that’s what that even was.” She started laughing before turning her head to meet his stunned gaze, his jaw practically on the floor.
“You’ll catch flies like that” she chuckles nervously.
“S-sorry, I just, can you say that again?” He stutters out.
“You’ll catch flies..?”
“No no, before that. You- you said I hurt you.”
“Oh, I meant- I didn’t mean- its just a saying,” she tries to explain before he cuts her off.
“No no, I get that, I just..” He quickly undoes his watch and turns over his wrist, showing the dark black words matching her exact phrasing. Her own jaw drops this time, eyes going wide before her mouth snaps shut and she gives him the smallest smile. She turns over her own wrist, the words reading “So, you come here often?” and he laughs, he laughs with a big dopey smile on his face- almost afraid to believe this could actually be happening.
“You’re not the first guy to say that to me, but you’re the only guy who’s had my words in return” She says with a smile.
“God I- I’m so sorry you had to go for so many years with that god awful pickup line on your wrist” he laughs.
“No I’m sorry you had to walk around with my words, I’m sure you’ve gotten some weird looks for that one,” she replies. He gives her an almost sad smile, “I was the only one who seemed to be concerned”
Her face slightly falls before she composes it, holding out her hand for him to shake, “Y/N” she introduces herself.
“Bruce” he replies with a small smile.
“So, do you come here often?” She says with a smirk.
He gives a chuckle, “Yeah, yeah actually. I live right upstairs and am usually forced to attend these things by our generous host.” he says with a chuckle.
“You live in the tower? What are you, an avenger?” She jokes, clearly teasing before his face answered the question for him. “Oh shit, you’re actually an avenger. Are you the one in the star spangled spandex or the big green one?” She teases, but she could see his shoulders tense.
“Yeah, that would be me. The big ugly green one”
She frowns at his choice of words and tone, “Hey, I never said ugly. I always thought that guy was ruggedly handsome in a strange, green sort of way”
He puffs out a breath and shakes his head.
“What?” She asks, shoving his shoulder with her own.
“I uh, I have a kind of.. complicated life. I was honestly expecting you to run at the first mention of the big guy,” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I uh, I was always worried that the first words spoken to me by my soulmate would be after he had hurt them somehow.” He finally raised his head to meet her eyes, expecting hesitancy or fear- and yet her eyes were free from judgment.
“Well, they weren’t. Just tipsy teasing. And I’m not planning on running yet, but we did just meet. Buy me a drink and maybe I’ll change my mind afterwards” she said with a wink, and all he could do was give her a dopey smile in return. There she was, this beautiful, sharp-witted girl that he was so worried he would scare off, subtly doing her best to make sure he was at ease.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll buy you a drink. On one condition.” He said to her.
“And what is that?” She asked, quirking one brow.
“Go to dinner with me tonight.” He said smoothly.
Her lips quirked into a small smile, “I’ll be there”
He smiled and signaled for the bartender to fill up their glasses as he slid into the seat next to her, brushing his shoulder against hers with a playful smile.
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My mcu favs w/ crush and relationship hcs (pt 2) (not proof read)
- gonna be honest she’s not familiar with romantic feelings, takes her awhile to even realize what she feels for you
- you make her heart all melty and soft, you make her face heat up, you make her question everything she does
- you make her feel even giddy and overly happy and it kinda annoys her tbh
- she thinks you’re out to get her or something and have casted some spell but when she asks thor he has no idea what she’s talking about until she describes what she’s feeling and he just laughs and thinks she’s joking
- she’s like no. I’m serious ?
- to which thor would tell her what it is, he has a bit of an idea because of Jane
- tbh loving somebody romantically, caring about somebody to this extent scares her
- she’s lost so many people and because of it became a raging alcoholic
- if she lost you she doesn’t know what could happen
- she tries to push you away but quickly realizes she doesn’t like doing that to herself or you
- asks you to go out drinking with her often if you’re up for that
- she’d find it funny how easily you get drunk but has no problem taking care of you, in fact she would probably drink with you more often so she can take care of you because it’s the closest to intimacy she feels she can have with you (no she is not taking advantage of you or anything, it’s more just the thought of taking care of you feels intimate to her)
- also you’re cute while you’re drunk
- trans with you so you can be tougher if you’re not that tough already
- tbh asks thor to do the same with you, whether it be cuz she’s not around or because you need the extra training
- eventually Thor’s at the point where he’s like you gotta tell em and she’s like no 🖕
- but she does eventually
- she’s kinda awkward about it but she tries to sound confident with it ^^
- dating you is very different than just being her friend tbh
- like you might’ve been surprised at her asking you out, even if it’s kinda obvious to anybody that knows her well
- to any stranger you just seemed like friends with a strange rivalry relationship but that’s really not the case
- she’s much more flirty in a relationship, since she’s confident you’re with her for a reason.. she’s not the type to doubt your relationship, you’re with her for a reason
- much more protective in battle though
- she doesn’t say she loves you enough, but she shows it through her actions
- asks thor about the romantic stuff but he has no idea really so she goes to Bruce who kinda has more of a grasp on it
- tries to take you to like normal restaurant dates... kinda awkward since she had no midgardian clothes at that point
- lotsa quick kisses on the cheek or forehead
- likes cuddling as she finds it just.. kinda intimate ?
- still likes to take care of a drunk you
- quick pecks on your lips are very often
- doesn’t like the idea of going on a lot of Thor’s saving the world shits unless you’re on board with it
- thor jokes about how she’s all badass and “I don’t give a fuck about saving the world or anyone else” until it comes to you
- she kicks his ass
- but he’s not wrong
- when she likes you she’s a bit like wtf
- like she doesn’t realize it for a moment until jane explains it
- before she was her usual talkative self but there was a lot of nervousness and stuttering at times, just unusual awkwardness that made Jane raise a brow
- it makes more sense now
- since she’s aware she likes you now she often asks you to hang out, to help her out, whatever it is
- the gal is clingy af what can she say
- lotsa hugs she loves giving you hugs often does them for a greeting
- just an excuse to hold you though tbh
- at times will get tongue tied
- she tries to flirt but it just makes you confused she’s not good at it you’re not even gonna know she’s flirting
- eventually grows impatient about it and is just like “I LIKE U DUMMY! DATE ME!”
- and now you date
- she gets into things a bit quickly so if it’s too fast tell her, hopefully not a dealbreaker
- dates are often because she’s got a lot of creative ideas for dates ^^
- still hugs you as a greeting but a lot longer and intimate and a kiss follows after
- speaking of kisses she LOVES to kiss you and she does so very often
- very needy
- big cuddler
- just like “CUDDLE ME”
- so demanding
- often talks about you and how much she loves you she can’t help it
- but if anybody did the same she like “shut up nobody cares”
- even with you though she’s blunt, but much nicer about it
- likes going on just good dates, restaurants , picnic, whatever
- she eats all the food
- tries to impress you so she might say she was best friends with thor at a point
- and that she’s helped him out before and .. yeah etc
- she likes buying you clothes tbh
- especially if you don’t dress good let her dress you up pls
- would be sad if you didn’t get along with Jane
- it would be a dealbreaker actually
- she knows she’s a bit much so she feels happy you love her anyways
- vision of course will not understand his feelings
- he understands you definitely make him feel something, that something being good
- for a moment he might think he feels like this is how best friends feel towards another, or even thinking he sees you in a familial light
- tony quickly tells him that is not the case
- once vision understands what he really feels he’s not sure how to go about it, he can be quite oblivious
- he’s aware of this but still .. what does he do?
- asks tony for advice, he tells him to flirt and see how it goes
- but tbh that doesn’t work, you don’t even realize he’s flirting gonna be honest
- he’s just bad at it
- so he tries to just simply state his affection, that doesn’t work because he doesn’t know how to word it without it sounding platonic, or getting too nervous about going too far
- he doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries
- tony is in pain watching this btw
- tony eventually is just like “he wants to know if you would like to go on a date” “w- I.. yes?”
- in a relationship he is very sweet
- kinda cliche though, since he doesn’t have a concept of romance at all
- looks up a lot of the things he should know about romance he doesn’t want to ask you that
- while he has no problem protecting you, he doesn’t feel the need to be overly protective unless needed
- he’s logical, reasonable, he only gets protective if he has to, even with how he feels towards you
- but do you distract him? Yes absolutely
- he’s okay with living comfortably and normally for once with you, unless it’s something you don’t want or are not ready for
- once you’re conditioned to a certain lifestyle, even if it isn’t a good one it can be uncomfortable to get out of and he understands that
- he loves to kiss you, often initiates kisses or forms of affection
- you were the first to kiss him, it made him so flustered but so happy and now he’s addicted to kissing you
- loves kissing your hands
- if you have any insecurity he will do anything in his power to prove you wrong and that he doesn’t see you in that light
- he understands he has responsibilities but other than that, loves spending his time with you
- he understands you’re a distraction so he tries not to fight with you, he wants to prioritize the people when it comes to this kinda thing
- which you of course understand
- once you teach him what dancing is, his love language is dancing with you
- you two just stay up talking about nothing and everything
- having kids with him isn’t an option, but he isn’t opposed to adopting children
- after all, all he’s ever wanted was to be a normal significant other to you
- do not have a huge concept on her character so forgive me 🙏
- she can be a bit flirty, not that you mind though right ?
- she just loves spending all her time with you
- probably met you before wandavision
- so you’re probably already together
- even then in wandavision you two were “roommates”
- doesn’t explain all the flirting girl .
- agathas fall would be letting Wanda find out she had a soft spot for you my god
- while she’s all confidence and flirty in general, she’s a bit softer with you
- like she genuinely means the things she says when it comes to you
- eventually asks you to date her, you don’t have much room for dates outside of wandavision
- you two are always together btw
- loves dancing with you
- she has a good grasp on romance so she has no issue with it
- she is full of confidence when it comes down to it tbh
- holds your hand often
- your relationship ain’t official till like the 70s probably
- might joke after wanda has kids that you both should have kids too
- while she’s causing her mischief you back her up to make her look less suspicious
- seriously in the mist of all this she’s grateful for you
- especially when you get her out of the hell that Wanda puts her in once again
- to which she will actually confess she loves you, and cares for you
- you aren’t just like.. some person to date
- she’s not the most vulnerable obviously
- so the fact she finally is.. it’s just a lot
- “idk I just love u a lot hun . Cant I show I love u 😊”
- she’s just so overly sweet with you
- she’s so awful to everyone else at times that she just likes being .. with you and being a softie
- likes you playing with her hair
- she loves a good cuddle
- cute nicknames like hon, or hun, or just teddy bear
- with a crush quill might try to act overly friendly
- and probably flirts a lot
- he’s very like obvious with the flirting so you’d have to be oblivious not to notice it
- he can be quite protective as well
- like not just in fighting but even with just others like even before dating he’s very jealous
- if he makes a joke you’re always in on it somehow
- he tries for form a close bond with you just cuz he likes you so much
- it’s likely he likes somebody that can easily protect themselves doe
- probably has some dumb handshake with you
- honestly he acts like a close friend to you
- people might mistake you for a sibling like relationship if it weren’t for his flirting and him staring at you like you’re his entire universe
- seriously Sam says Bucky has a staring problem, quill is fucking awful
- it’s constant and rocket is always like “you’re staring”
- and he’s like “nO” and then continues to stare
- has you listen to his favorite music of course
- especially the love songs ;D
- will just dance with you to the music he puts on
- one time you guys are dancing to the music he put on like normal but it’s a slow love song, so hes like let’s so dance bae
- and then he tells you how he feels for u
- now u date <3
- lots of forehead kisses
- cuddle bug absolutely
- still a jealous boyfriend though tbh he will try to seem all tough in front of any man he thinks might be better or something he will do anything to show off
- your relationship doesn’t change just lots of kisses and hugs now and I love yous
- you’re totally the relationship that’s like “I love you more” “nooo I love you more” and the guardians hate y’all so much
- he uses nicknames like hun, honey, love, sweetheart
- let’s just say you slow dance more often, and kiss while doing so ^^
- he flirts with you still but it’s a lot more sweet rather than before where he might’ve just flirted with you in terms of like it being kinda like calling you sexy and shit like that, now it’s more like wow u look beautiful I luv u 😊🙏
- would do anything for you, even if he wouldn’t like it
- doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hesitate tho
- going on separate dates isn’t really an option since you guys fight left and right and are always with the guardians, but he decided every once a couple months you guys go on a date together and have some fun
- Loki doesn’t get crushes, so this is a new thing for him
- and tbh he doesn’t know how to take it either, especially when he realizes how strong those feelings actually are
- he hates the idea of being vulnerable in general, especially when it comes to you
- over time it just... happens
- but if there’s any indication he likes spending time with you he will try to lie his way through it, he’s a good liar of course so it probably works
- however he shows he at the very least cares about you, he shows a sign of protectiveness when it comes to potential enemies.. enemies that happen to be dangerous for you
- plus he’s around you like constantly and claims he has nobody else to harass
- he claims he doesn’t care about you at all, but even thor can tell through this lie
- the way he looks at you makes it obvious
- the way he doesn’t try to get you involved in his more dangerous schemes
- and if you do, and you get hurt he feels guilty and tries to help you feel better
- he claims he just owes you one for getting you hurt though
- eventually thor bothers him enough to get him to confess feelings, which takes a lot for Loki to even go through with
- he acts confident, even moreso after you say yes, but deep down was extremely nervous
- the male is good at making you feel important, after trying so hard to hide his feelings he is tired of it and just wants to be more honest about how he feels about you
- no issue being vulnerable, he trusts you but sometimes it can be hard
- he goes to you for a lot of his problems, even if you cannot help, just venting and you listening helps
- he was already with you a lot but now there’s no excuses and it’s even moreso
- “what? I just wanted to visit my beautiful s/o” “we literally just saw eachother 5 minutes ago can I please go to bed”
- likes pressing your foreheads together, he finds it sweet
- jealous of thor? Absolutely. Pls comfort him and tell him you’d never leave him for thor
- he’s so used to just not being as good as him, he wants to be good enough for you
- deep down there’s just so many insecurities he has
- so it causes him to worry like all the time
- having a reassuring and patient s/o is so good for him ^^
- flirting becomes a thing in your relationship
- it makes him feel more confident pls give him this
- protective, he feels like he has to be tbh because he never gets anything good in his life and if he does he loses it, he’s scared to lose you too
- if for some reason he can’t see you he makes an illusion of you to talk to
- when he fake dies you’re the first he goes to see so you don’t think he’s dead, he loves you he wouldn’t want to do that to you =(
- finally
- gonna be honest bucky with a crush is cute
- first of all he smiles at you a lot, Steve is the first to notice how much he smiles around you, it’s the most he smiles like ever
- just has a lot of nice conversations with you about anything and everything
- also whenever you’re around even if other people are around you he’s just like “hey y/n :)”
- heart eyes for you, just can’t help but stare all the time
- he has a staring problem but with you? Yeah 10x over
- Sam always has something to say abt it also
- his idea of flirting with you is really just saying hi to you, just being overly friendly which is noticeable for a guy like Bucky
- eventually would ask you out, he tries to ease into it but he gets a bit impatient
- he was also nervous asking you out but yk
- when dating him he becomes very protective
- one of the most protective bitches on the list tbh
- he gets nightmares about you dying like all the time it breaks him everytime though
- lots of cuddles, whether it be from a rough day, he’s just tired, or had a nightmare
- he likes his hair being brushed by you and played with, even when he cuts it
- he’s scared of killing you and turning into the winter soldier again
- has dreams about when he’s hurt and fought you as the winter soldier, he keeps thinking about if Steve wasn’t there to help, he really could’ve killed you and that terrifies him
- even when you tell him it wasn’t him, he appreciates it but still feels horrible about it
- touch that metal arm, but like gently Yknow . Nobody’s ever touched that arm with such kindness and it makes him soft and feel lucky
- speaking of soft Bucky is very soft, there’s many soft moments with Bucky and vulnerability
- it’s easy to be vulnerable with you but not others
- lots of handholding
- he loves hugging you for long periods of time
- still has a staring problem but now Sam openly makes fun of him
- just big dumb smile on his face as he looks at you
- especially when you’re dealing with kids, seeing you be around them makes his heart warm
- maybe he does wanna be normal, settle down and have kids
- though the thought scares him it is something he desires
- we all know he calls you doll
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Obsessive Ledger!joker x reader
I’ve been spoiling you all recently with all this Ledger!Joker, so you’re welcome 😎 (but also so sorry because I did go on a hiatus without saying anything for half a year 😬). Let me know in the asks if you want something in particular, I love writing for J so much! I have a few already that I am working on as we speak, so stay tuned for those 💜
Below are headcannons for a more yandere and darker joker than I usually write 👻 nothing abusive here because J is still very much my comfort character, but it definitely includes over-possessive, protective and stalker themes, as well as encouraging reader to join in on his murderous chaos
Warnings: morally ambiguous reader, joining joker on his “fun” i.e. mentions of torturing others, blood, weapons, severed body parts as gifts, implied seggsy time
· Before adoration, fondness or love, the first feelings Joker had for you was pure obsession. Obsession with what you thought and felt, what you liked to do and why you liked to do them. Obsession with your safety and the need to protect you, which led to jealousy and possessiveness very often. It was primal, and longing, and left him thirsting after your presence like a greedy, hungry wolf. He wanted you- needed you- and he was going to get you
·In spite of a period of flirting, suggestive jokes and hinting touches, Joker made it clear pretty quickly what his feelings were for you. Because of his lifestyle death is like a waiting shadow, and wasting time on what he wants is just not his style
· Quite soon into the beginning of your more romantic relationship, you move into his hideout for the sake of your safety, which calmed J down with some of his possessiveness and paranoid thoughts. He knew his home was the safest place in Gotham, excluding Bruce Wayne’s cave, and with you in it that meant you were safe too.
·When he’s gone, he’ll leave a huge shotgun behind for you to use in case of emergency, as well as Chechen’s Rottweilers. You’ll find some stray knives and pointy objects hidden in your coats too, “just in case”, but its more heartwarming to you than annoying
· He loves to lay on you at night, whether it be right on your chest to hear your heartbeat, or on your belly where he can feel your soft skin pressed against his scared cheeks. Not only is it pleasant and lets his touched-starved soul get some attention, but it also makes him hyper aware of every shift or move your body does while asleep. It also prevents you from sneaking out of the bed to run away, which is one of his more paranoid thoughts. Don’t try to move away or push him off, he will smack your hand back and snuggle in deeper, wrapping his arms around you like a snake
· He doesn’t care what insecurities you have regarding your appearance; he admires every single piece of you and will cuddle with whatever he wants, so push your anxieties aside because Joker hungers for all of you
· His gifts can sometimes be very macabre. Generally, he loves to spoil you with an array of things, such as new clothes or lingerie, plush toys of your favorite animals, snacks you said you’ve wanted to try, or even just random knick-knacks he stole from his victim’s homes. However, if he’s feeling adventurous or extra flirty that day, he will bring you certain body parts to symbolize his feelings for you.
· You’ve definitely found your fair share of human hearts in your fridge, because he adores how your heart races when your scared. You’ve found a pair of lungs stuffed in there too, because the little gasps you make when frightened or anticipating his touch are delicious to him. You went to get milk once and right behind the carton was a tongue, symbolizing how much he relishes your little talks and midnight conversations
· Once, he brought over a whole corpse, the body decomposing and gnarled, skin ripped to shreds and a face pummeled so brutally it had concaved. “Don’t need to worry about them any more doll,” he giggled, spitting on the body with a fervor that thrilled you. It took a few minutes of intense staring- why did they look familiar?- but then it clicked in your mind; it was the very person you had fumed and vented to Joker about last night, right before he had spontaneously left
· “J,” you began, eyes nearly popping out of your head. “Did you kill him... for me?”
· “ ‘Course I did, sweetheart.” He rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know I’d, uh, kill anyone for you. Nasty fucks like them especially-ah.”
· If you have to leave for longer periods of time, whether that be for school or work, Joker will always have a few of his men stalking you from a distance, making sure you’re safe and that no one dangerous is within a 1 mile radius of you. They also have explicit instructions to take photos and send them to J, because he likes looking at your oblivious little face.
· He’d do it himself if he has the time, which he sometimes does, but he too is quite busy with his own things (when anarchy calls, as they say), so hiring lookouts is the next best thing. If he could, he’d have you right by his side at all times… how pretty you’d look in a soft purple leash... but that’s just daydream fuel for now
· Speaking of photos, Joker knows his ways around a camera. He makes... lovely home videos that he sends to news channels in his free time (rip fake batman) and he continues to practice at his craft from time to time. He even won a deepweb award for best snuff film of the year, which boosted his ego to ungodly heights. He’s absolutely delighted about it and hints that you should watch it on one of your movie nights, but he does warn it’s not for the faint of heart
· Taking videos and photos are one of his favorite hobbies, and if you’re down to clown… he’d certainly bring it in the bedroom
· Speaking of his more thrilling hobbies, Joker will constantly suggest you join him on his escapades or help out behind the scenes, especially if he picks up on any sort of interest from you concerning his ‘job’. Joker is an observant man, and he reads you like a book. He knows you likely have some dark, sinister thoughts running around in your head - you must, if you’re with him- so he does everything he can to encourage you to let them out. Joker will never judge this side of you, no matter how grim. He’ll try and harness it, bring it to light. He hates the thought of you shying away from your true self, embarrassed of your darker nature, but what he hates even more is you thinking he’ll be disgusted with you or disappointed. How can you think that?
· “No no no, bunny, not me. You’re my muse, so give me some inspiration hmm? Tell daddy exactly what’s going on in that mind of yours...”
· If you do show interest in the darker side of his job, he’d smile so big that his scars take up his whole face. He’d teach you everything; how to fire a gun, how to stab someone, how to hide a body and how to torture one. He’ll spread out all his weapons on the floor and let you choose which one calls to you, like a deranged ceremony, informing you on the pros and cons of each one. He’ll even invite you into the warehouses he designated just for torture, which are just as gruesome and sinful and they sound
· J let’s you watch as he hurts his victims, whom are purposefully rapists and killers to make you feel less guilty, and let’s you join in on the fun whenever you gain the courage. He even went as far as to buy a whole torture set off the black market, from scalpel to needles, just to give you options. Joker loves to see how creative you can get, and it’s one of the few times he lets you take complete control
· “The floor is yours, bunny. Impress me.”
· He is down for pretty much anything, and that mindset is not exclusive just to the bedroom
·Any couple activity you fear might be too far or creepy for other people… is right around J’s alley. Weird kinks or foreplay games you want to try? No problem. Making love in abandoned houses or cemeteries? Now that’s his type of romance. You want to carry a small vial of his blood around your neck? He is all game, but only if he gets one of you as well. Matching knives? He’s blushing. Satanic blood ritual from a sketchy website that’s supposed to bond your souls for eternity? Perfect, his weekend plans were centered around you anyways
· Now…If he feels that you’re not giving him enough attention or start to push him away, he will resort to crazier means to obtain your love back. He’ll set off random bugs, rats or even henchmen into your home to scare you, gleefully waiting to hear you cry out his name in fear. Like a small, dependent little kitten, mewling for their protector. He’d come in, guns ablaze, looking for whatever scared his darling angel, killing them on sight. You’d run into his arms, tears streaming down your face as you cling to Joker like your life depended on it- just how he liked it. He’d coo mockingly and pull you closer, rubbing your back as he unashamedly basked in your physical touch.
· In general however, your soft caresses, kisses and reassuring words are enough to keep him very pleased. He knows you adore him and are head over heels obsessed just like he is, and that truly does put a smile on his face.
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If you could, can you please write JayTim or RoyTim (whichever one you want) trying to be romantic and woo Tim (maybe with some puns, I love puns), but Tim is a bit oblivious towards it, because the other is so cool, therefore they must be trying to make friends and be nice with him and nothing more. So when he does finally realize its an italicized "Oh" moment.
Hi lovely!! Thank you for waiting so patiently for this fill. I... ended up making it JayRoyTim, I hope that's okay? It just fit so well, but I can totally write something else with JayTim or RoyTim for you if you want :)
Also, it turned out to be about pick-up lines more than wooing, sorry. I might’ve gone overboard with googling the puns. It's long enough that I put it on ao3, too. What's your username on there? Then I'll gift it to you.
if you were a transformer (you’d be optimus fine)
“Well, here I am.”
Tim looks up, utterly confused. “I didn’t call for you, but… that’s… great?”
Roy waggles his eyebrows. It looks faintly disturbing. Redheads should maybe not do that. Or, actually, Tim revises mentally, thinking of literally every other redhead Dick ever dated—that’s just Roy. “What are your other two wishes?”
“Coffee and some silence to finish working this case?”
Roy looks weirdly deflated at that, but he does get him some coffee. Tim soon forgets about it.
—
(“How’d it go?”
“Does obliviousness run in the family?”
“Yes. Yes it does. Have you met Bruce?”
“…okay, fair. Your turn next.”)
—
“Jason? What’re you doing here?”
Sure, Jason and Roy have been spending a lot more time in Gotham lately. Something to do with a case, Tim assumes. Maybe even with the one that they worked on together in Star City five months ago?
Anyway. They’ve been around, is what Tim is saying. Not at the manor, but at Tim’s apartment and his workspace, cause apparently it’s not worth rebuilding their safe house after it went up in flames, and Bruce and Damian are too often at Dick’s place. He’s not exactly surprised to see either of them anymore. (Pleased, yes. But not surprised.) However, Tim has no fucking clue why Jason is currently grinning at him from the other side of the library desk.
At least Tim has the good sense to check his name tag before he gasps: “Jason?”
“Oh, hey, Tim.” Jason’s grinning. “Guess you figured out my new job, huh?”
“Yeah.” Tim shakes his head. “Color me surprised.” So this is what Jason’s spending his days doing. He’s gotta be shadowing someone, right? Tim’ll ask him tonight.
“I’ve always liked this place.” Jason’s gaze is far away for a moment. Tim badly wants to know what he’s remembering. Then the older man seems to come back to himself and gives Tim a weird—maybe angry?—look. “It’s a good thing I’m a librarian, too, cause I’m totally checking you out.”
“Alright, I can take a hint.” Tim grabs his book and demonstratively walks over to the self-service scanners. Really. How rude.
—
(“Are you telling me he managed to resist you in your cardigan?”
“Apparently.”
“Aww. C’mere, babe.”)
—
So Roy blows things up all the time. No, really, Tim now totally understands why Dick was so happy when he heard the duo is camping out at Tim’s place for a change. His older brother even gave Tim a thumbs-up, for God’s sake. He must’ve known.
Cause yeah, there’s at least one explosion every two days. Or Roy dropping something cause he’s too focused on what he’s thinking to remember what his hands are doing. Or something dropping on him. Jason seems used to it; he just catches whatever it is or laughs at Roy. Tim… is starting to learn to do the same, actually. Whatever Roy comes up with at that moment is usually worth it, and besides, he’s kinda adorable.
Aaaaaaanyway. (He’s using that word a lot in his own thoughts right now. Almost as if he’s avoiding thinking about something. Hmm.) Tim’s not surprised when Roy walks into a room, stumbles, and slaps a hand over his eyes with a dramatic exclamation.
Tim, in shorts and not much else cause he got drenched in pollen earlier, just raises an eyebrow. “Alright, Roy?”
“Nope.” Roy’s hand is still covering his face, but Tim can still see his grin underneath. “I’m gonna need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.”
“Roy. You have both of these things,” Tim explains slowly, wondering if Roy sustained a brain injury or accidentally dosed himself on something. “And why insurance?”
“I was blinded by your beauty.”
God. Sometimes Tim wonders about the original Titans and their socialization for the two dudes if this is how they think making friends works. Then again, Kori, Donna, and Dick probably appreciated constant compliments about their beauty. It all makes sense. Roy must be so used to it that he even uses those same methods when someone unexceptional like Tim is around.
He smiles gamely. “I’m looking forward to hearing that phone call. Must be almost as great as the time Bruce tried to convince his insurance company that Clark dropping on his car wasn’t an act of God because God is demonstrably not a Kryptonian. Neither was the giant ape punching Clark out.”
Roy drops his hand at that. “…Batman did what?”
—
(“You were doing so well, too.”
“I knoooow. How much more obvious can we get?”
“I dunno, but I intend to try.”)
—
“Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!”
“Haha. No. Star Trek or die.” Tim’s answer is automatic. He’s had these discussions soooo many times with Kon before. Of course Jason also goes for the space cowboy soap opera.
Besides, Jason’s boyfriend is standing right next to him. He doesn’t mean to sound flirtatious with Tim. Or maybe he does, and it’s just good fun? Or maybe teasing him? Tim can’t figure it out, but he knows he doesn’t like the weird hollow feeling he gets in his stomach when he thinks about it, so he changes the topic.
And makes both of them sit down to watch some classic Captain Kirk, of course.
—
(“Should I be insulted by that pick up line?”
“Nah. There aren’t that many lines that imply a polycule, though.”
A kiss. “Alright.”)
—
One of the things Jason and Tim have in common is their predilection for motorbikes and fiddling around with them. Not that makes them unique in the batclan; Tim has never spent days quietly working side-by-side with Dick, though, the way he does with Jason. They started out with separate projects. Then Jason saw this vintage Ducati at an abandoned warehouse he was about to blow up and, well… Would be a shame, right? Tim just happens to have had one of these before—regrettably lost to one of Harley’s exploding baseball bats—so he offers his expertise.
It’s not because it means bending over the engine with Jason, closer than they ever are, their hands brushing when they hand each other instruments. It’s not.
Roy doesn’t join them. He’s too polite to say so, but he finds normal cars and bikes boring af. Doesn’t stop him from popping his head into the garage and whistling when he sees that they are shirtless and covered in grease. It’s a damn good look on Jason, so Tim can’t fault him for that.
Roy follows it up with a: “Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.”
Tim can’t help it; he blushes at the suggestive tone. Those two never stop flirting with each other, do they? So far, he has managed to avoid stumbling over them while they’re making out (not that they’re making that easy—the kitchen? Really?), and he’d like to keep avoiding that, thank you very much. He’s already feeling guilty enough for his fantasies as it is.
“Uh. I should clean up,” he mumbles and flees.
—
(“Dammit.”
“…do you think that was a rejection?”
“Nah. He was definitely checking me out before you came and fucked it up.”
“That’s saying something if you noticed it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”)
—
So Tim has magically acquired cat ears and a very fluffy tail. Don’t ask. They’re gonna go away in eight hours, and until then, he’s gonna stay in the cave and work himself to distraction. Jason seems intent on keeping him company, though.
(It’s nice. Tim loves hanging out with Jason—that’s not the problem. The issue is that Tim is looking ridiculous, and Jason is being nice about it, and none of this is helping his stupid crush go away.)
They’re absently chatting about nothing until Jason says: “Kinda a pity you’re a cat, though.”
Tim looks up. Huh? Admittedly, he never pegged Jason as the type to go for catboys (though maybe… he did hang out with Kyle… perhaps it’s just that he definitely doesn’t go for Tims), but that’s still a weird pronouncement.
Jason is grinning. “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.” He pauses. “Wait. Like even more than you already are. Uh.”
Tim sighs. Great. And now Jason is making fun of him again. “Whatever.”
—
(“A chicken?”
“Shut up. I panicked.” A sigh. “He was so cute with these ears.”
“…yeah, he was.”)
—
“You must be tired. You’ve been running through my mind all night.”
“I’m not tired,” Tim says automatically. Why does everyone keep asking him that tonight? Surely the shadows under his eyes can’t be that bad? He used concealer!
Something in Roy’s expression softens. “Aww. C’mere.” He pats the space on the couch next to him, and when Tim sits down, Roy pulls him half of on top of him and into a hug. “Relax for a bit, little bird.”
Tim sinks into the embrace, boneless all of a sudden. Roy just has that effect on him. Tim vaguely remembers thinking of him as his oldest brother’s cool friend and then Jason’s cool boyfriend, kind of a fuckboy but clearly good for Jay.
Now? Now, Roy just makes him feel safe.
—
(“So you spent the night on the couch just so he could sleep in your arms?”
“Yeah. Totally worth it.”
“Duh.”
“I just wish we could do that with him every night. Bet he fits perfectly between us.”
“Yeah.”
A pause.
“We might have to up the ante or switch tactics.”)
—
They’re talking about their favorite books—Tim doesn’t read as much as Jason does, but they discovered a shared love of sci-fi weeks ago—when Tim says: “Actually, that book kinda reminds me of you.”
“Oh?”
“Overly dramatic but good.”
Jason makes an offended noise, and Tim grins.
“I’m not sure which part I should argue about first.” Jason pretends to think.
Tim is always down to tell Jason that fuck his self-perception—Jason is a good man, one of the best Tim knows; that also feels too revealing right now. Instead, he gets up from their comfortable position on the couch and grabs the first stack on the table, carrying them over to the shelves to replace the gaps. “What kind of book would I be?”
“Babe, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”
“Annoying and no one reads it?” Tim asks without turning around, trying to ignore the babe. That’s. That’s gotta be a slip of the tongue, right? Force of habit from spending so much time with Roy?
“No, fine,” and the emphasis is clear this time. Jason continues before Tim can reply: “Though if we’re talking books…”
Tim whirls around. “Save it. You don’t have to make fun of me just because I—“He swallows down the words.
Jason looks alarmed. “Tim—“
As if he can smell trouble, Roy chooses that moment to enter the room. Tim has barely heard him approach, Jesus. He doesn’t want to have this argument in front of Roy, though, so he just stands there in the middle of the room. Jason, too, has stopped speaking.
Roy, of course, takes one look at the awkwardness and decides to make it worse. Or more confusing.
“Did you just come out of the oven?” he asks.
“As this isn’t Hansel and Gretel, no, I didn’t.” Tim checks his shirt, just in case this is an actual conversation opener and not just a weird attempt at a distraction. “Do I have soot on me?”
“Nope.” Roy shakes his head, and he’s smiling that smile again, the one Tim is startled to recognize, the one he thought is reserved only for Jason— “Because you’re hot.”
And finally, Tim gets it. “Me?”
“Yes, Tim.” Roy’s moving in closer. “You.”
There’s a soft touch to Tim’s shoulder, and Tim whirls around, expecting Jason to be mad, cause his boyfriend is—is hitting on Tim, right, that’s what’s happening, Jason can’t be happy—
Jason is smiling down at him. His hand is still resting on Tim’s shoulder, but it slides down to his collar bone, a gentle presence as he murmurs: “You’re so beautiful that you made forget my pick up line.”
Oh. Oh.
Tim says the first thing he can think of: “Are you a raisin?”
Jason starts grinning. “I’m not even gonna qualify that with an answer.”
Tim smiles back. “Cause you’re raising my hopes for a kiss right about now.”
And he gets one. And then another, and then Roy joins in, kissing Tim’s neck and then his mouth and—Yeah.
They’re too busy for any more pick up lines right now.
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