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#ignore how out of order I'm doing these lol
hannieehaee · 3 days
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18+ / mdi
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content: coworker!jk, sub!jk, afab reader, confession, reader is mean to jk, plot moves super fast to get to the smut lol, smut, handjob, oral (f receiving) penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 2570
a/n: this is loosely based off an audio i heard once but i cant remember where</3 also not 100% proofread
masterlist
"yeah, you should probably ask jungkook for help with that, he's actually really good with those forms. he has the whole process memorized," jungkook heard namjoon say from his desk, though he was unable to spot who he was talking to.
he decided to not question it, continuing his work while mentally preparing himself to help any coworker who might stop by to see him.
however, his work was promptly interrupted when he heard a chair pull back and steps head in the direction of his cubicle, looking up to find you and namjoon standing over him, a smile on joon's face and an annoyed frown on yours.
jungkook knew that frown was reserved specifically for him, as he knew you were quite nice to literally everyone else in the office. he seemed to be the one exception, somehow undeserving of your politeness no matter what he did.
"hey, kook. would you mind helping y/n here with these forms? it should only take you about twenty minutes. i know it's staying a bit later than you usually do, but i have a date and i really have to go if i wanna beat tra-"
"it's fine, joon, don't worry," jungkook interrupted. as much as he didn't want to stay late with you, noticing that everyone else had already left, he also could not find it in himself to say no to joon – or to you, for that matter.
as embarrassing as it was to admit, jungkook had a huge crush on you. sure, you were always mean and short in words with him, but he couldnt help himself. he had come to realize that your personality was sweet and bubbly, despite never showing that side of yourself to him. even if you hated him for some reason, he liked to spend time with you whenever possible, hoping that maybe you'd change your mind about your negative feelings for him.
"okay, great. thank you so much, jungkook," he then turned to you, "i'm leaving you in great hands, i promise," he declared before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, taking his leave and leaving the two of you alone in the empty office.
turning his chair to look at you, jungkook offered you an awkward smile as he got up, grabbing a few papers from a drawer nearby in order to help you figure out the form you needed assistance with.
you seemed annoyed despite his helpful disposition, but jungkook chose to ignore it, simply walking over to an empty table nearby and gesturing for you to follow him there. he chose not to take a seat, knowing this would probably be quick and also feeling slightly awkward at sharing a table with you for some reason. he'd rather keep his eyes down and on the paperwork.
"okay, uh, what is it that you're confused about?", he finally asked.
"nothing, jungkook. i didn't realize namjoon would drag you into this if i asked him for help. you don't have to act like you want to help me, you can just go home," you said in a deadpan tone.
"'act like i want to help you'? what do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side, "i really don't mind helping you."
"please, jungkook, you look like you'd rather be anywhere but here," you shot at him, completely disregarding the paperwork he'd pulled out.
"that's not true! i'd love to help you. you could've asked me and i would've helped you out with no issue," he argued back, suddenly feeling quite passionate about the subject.
"i don't believe you."
it was hard for jungkook to not grow frustrated at how short and unreasonable you were in your words. how was he even supposed to help you when you clearly despised his presence? all he wanted to do was build some sort of bridge with you. why were you so pleasant with namjoon but willing to pick a fight with him just after mere minutes together?
"what do you want me to say? i want to help you. id help you with anything you ask, but you're always either ignoring me or avoiding me while you're nice to everyone else. i don't understand what i did wrong. did- did i do something to you? do you just not like me?", jungkook finally let out, growing more emotional by the word.
"i don't like it! i don't like how you act with others. you're- you're too nice!", you almost shouted back, inexplicably frustrated.
"i- what? i'm too nice? what does that even mean? i-"
"i don't like that you're nice to everyone else! i hate it! i've seen the way you flirt with the receptionists and hang around the coffee cart with lia. you're so nice to everyone else but can't even speak a word to me. it's so annoying – you're so annoying. you know what, i'm just gonna go. i'll ask joon for help tomorrow morning," you ranted, red in the face and out of breath as you turned around and marched away.
jungkook almost couldn't function after your sudden outburst, but luckily got a hold of his senses before you could walk away, surprising both you and himself when his arm went out to grab onto yours and stop you.
"wait," he breathed out, "it-it's not at all how you think. flirt? i- i don't mean to make it seem that way. i- i've never flirted with anyone at the office. i'm just trying to be nice, and- and i've never meant to make you feel like i'm only not nice to you. you just ... you intimidate me so much," he winced at his own admission, "i'm sorry, i ... you've always been so cold with me, i just assumed you hated me and tried to stay out of your way. i don't hate you. at all. it's not like that at all," he rambled, "i like you. so much. you have no idea, i- wait, wait no, i- fuck."
his eyes widened at his accidental confession, making him stop in his tracks and let go of your arm, far too embarrassed to even make eye contact with you anymore. he couldn't even gauge your reaction to his words before shutting his eyes close and scrunching up his nose in embarrassment, looking down at your feet rather than yourself.
"i- i didn't mean that. no, i did, but, i just- fuck, it wasn't-"
"jungkook, stop," you instructed, stepping towards him decidedly. but jungkook wouldnt budge. he stayed still and avoided your eyes as much as he could, making even a further embarrassment of himself.
suddenly his head was lifted up by a pair of arms that belonged to you, forcing his head to turn in your direction and being pulled towards you, his surprised yelp interrupted halfway as your lips locked with his own.
he moaned in surprise, unable to process what was going on as his lips attempted to follow your own. you led the kiss, licking into his mouth and molding his lips however you so wished. there were no complaints from jungkook, just delighted confusion. he couldn't bring himself to question you when kissing you just felt so damn good.
but his brain caught up to him soon enough, making him pull away with a gasp, "wait, i- does this mean-" but he was interrupted with another wet kiss, "d-do you like me ba-" and another, and another, and another one on top of that.
the two of you made out for a few moments before you finally pulled away from him, this time having him pathetically follow your lips as if in a trance.
"i do, jungkook. i like you. i ... i guess i was just jealous of all the attention you gave everyone else that i didnt realize it might've been my fault," you revealed sheepishly, though your hands were still tightly holding onto his hair.
"fuck, really? you like me back? i- shit," he couldnt help the embarrassingly big grin that took over his face, "can i ... can i kiss you again?", he murmured after calming himself down.
you nodded and leaned in again, immediately sticking your tongue in his mouth and pulling him towards you. after making out for a few short moments, you walked yourself back onto a table nearby, sitting yourself on it as jungkook stayed standing between your legs. wrapping your legs around him, you brought him even closer to you, the kiss getting steamier.
"kookie ..." you breathed out, kissing your way to his ear, "will you be good for me and get on your knees?", you murmured with a sensual lick to his lobe.
shuddering, he nodded, kneeling and allowing you to trap him between your lace-clad legs. his hands were not shy in feeling up your legs, adoring the lace tights adorning your gorgeous legs.
"can i rip them off? need to feel your legs ... fuck, ive thought about kissing up your thighs so many times ... so pretty n soft. please?", he pleaded as his pretty eyes stared up at you.
nodding, you gave him the green light, gasping when he easily ripped them apart and brought you closet to him, pushing up your skirt so he could play with you as he pleased. his lips trailed up and down the plush skin of your thighs, suckling a few love bites onto the skin before dragging his tongue over them as an apology. he dragged his nose along the length of your thighs, seemingly catching scent of your essence as he moaned. soon enough, the pretty spot between your legs drew him in far too much, causing him to dig his face between your thighs snd breathe you in, groaning in ecstasy when your thighs wrapped around his head, trapping him.
"oh, god, please keep doing that," he groaned into you, "wrap your thighs around me ... wanna make you feel so good while you grind on my face ...", those were his last words before pushing your panties to the side and licking into your cunt.
he moaned and cried like a depraved man against you, begging you to grind against him and suffocate him between your legs. his hands pulled you closer by your hips, encouraging the canting of your hips against his face. his nose dug into your clit, nuzzling it while his tongue worked itself into your pussy.
jungkook had you on cloud nine with his pathetic desperation, letting out never-ending pleas into your cunt and somehow still begging for more.
"taste so fucking good, oh fuck- it's so good. prettiest fucking pussy," he cried when your hands dug particularly hard into his hair, pushing him in and allowing him no escape.
"kookie, oh, kookie! i'm almost there, please don't stop, i- i'm right there, baby," you cried out as he sped up his movements, absolutely desperate for your orgasm.
he proudly claimed your orgasm on his tongue, hesitant in pulling away from your cunt as he would've stayed there forever if given the option. but this thought was overthrown the moment you pulled him up by the hair and stuck your tongue in his mouth to taste yourself, once again initiating a series of sensual kisses that had him feeling dizzy.
at some point your hand came out to play with his cock, pulling it out from underneath the dress pants you had seemingly unbuttoned while he was too distracted kissing you. he groaned into your lips as you slowly jerked him, pulling away to kiss his neck and whisper all the dirty things you wanted to do with him.
the mere suggestion of getting to fuck you caught his attention, making him plea at you to stop jerking him so he could bend you over the table and have his way with you.
"are you sure, kookie? don't you want my hand? my tongue?", you tormented him as your hand sped up.
"n-no ... cunt- need your cunt so fucking bad. please, just- just turn around, baby," he begged pathetically, helping you flip over when you finally budged.
he ripped off his shirt snd threw off his shoes and pants while you bent over, wiggling your ass at him to provoke him – which you very much did. you were still wearing a shirt and your skirt, but jungkook would worry about seeing your tits some other day. for now all he cared about was slipping off your pretty skirt snd uncovering your even prettier pussy.
lowering your skirt and panties low enough to reveal your ass, jungkook groaned at the view – so pretty and bent over just for him. the thought of your gorgeous body ready for him to use almost made him short-circuit, he knew he'd burst almost immediately after entering you, but luckily an experimental drag of his fingers against your folds revealed to him that you were also at the brink.
"can't believe i get to fuck you, baby. wanted this since the moment i saw you," he breathed out before beginning to ease into you, "oh ... fuck, shit, it's so warm ... so wet and warm, oh, baby ..." all ability to form a coherent sentence left him after that. his hips quickly took over, slamming into you while you whined his name in the prettiest cries he had ever heard. his eyes rolled back in absolute pleasure, hand uncontrollably digging in place to play with your clit, only causing you to tighten up even more.
"kookie ... you're so fucking big ... fuck, fill me up so good," you swore, pushing your hips back into his own.
"i know, pretty, i know," he managed to breath out just when his orgasm began to approach, "i'm gonna cum, baby, fuck. please tell me you're there too ... need you to cum with me, please?", he pleaded as his hips lost all finesse, now humping wildly into you.
"y-yes! i'm there, fuck- just- just cum with me, kookie, i- fuck!"
your own orgasm was all he needed to finally let go, continuing to fuck into you throughout his orgasm, emptying himself inside you with high put he'd whines of your name. the empty office was filled with nasty noises of skin slapping and senseless cries coming from one another.
once finished, he let himself fall into you a bit, though still not putting his full weight on you. with a wince, he eventually pulled off and groaned at the liquids leaking from his dick. he went to grab a few paper towels from nearby to clean you up a bit before helping you sit up and even sneaking in a peck to your cheek in the process.
"does this mean you like me ...?", he asked regardless of how redundant the question seemed.
"jungkook, you idiot," you chuckled, "yes, i like you."
"thank god," he mumbled under his breath, "i, uh, do you think maybe you'd wanna go home with me tonight? or is that too much too soon? sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself, hah-"
"kook, stop. i'd love to go home with you," you smiled at him, pulling him in for yet another kiss, falling in a makeout session again.
the two of you kissed softly for a while, maybe too softly for what you'd just done together in your workplace. but jungkook didn't think of that at the moment. all that he cared about was taking you home and repeating it all over again.
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tourettesdog · 2 years
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Ectoberhaunt 2022 Day 14: Costume Party
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sysig · 5 months
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I'm almost finished with this notebook with it's horrible paper, and I just finished the first page of my Big Project
#Oh yeah - it's all coming together#Hgggg I am so sick of this notebook! It's wack as fuck!#It has made editing a Chore for the past eight months >:0 Not fun or meditative At All#Even worse is that the paper feels good to draw on but the cleanup is just! Awful!#I've just been completely ignoring my non-lined homemade notebook because it feels bad to draw on lol#The rest of the doodles for this year - yes that's how far the queue is backlogged rn lol - are still on that paper#But at least I'm like ><this close to being done with it ugh#I've got two blank pages and then like three half-doodled on pages that I'm planning to just knock out#It looks so weird 'cause the pages are all out of order lol - the first page was in March and the last in November#But like the next page after the first is /also/ November lol#Like it's largely in chronological order but it jumps around quite a lot! It was an interesting experiment#I also think it's funny since the first page got some fandom stuff that didn't come back around until now but it Looks chronological lol#I think I'll do it again but with some modifications - if I run out of steam/interest/motivation then I can fill it in however I want#Keeping it on-theme is fun but I find myself pushing ideas when I don't actually have any :P That's no good#It's not Always bad - I like quite a few of my spacefiller ideas! But if anything that just proves that finishing things out to make room-#Well like I said it was fun lol#And! As stated! I finished the first page of my big behind-the-scenes project! >:3c#Man I haven't worked on a comic proper-like in uhhhhh#It's gotta be at least five years lol geez#It's been a weird rhythm to try to fall into lol I'm Way out of practice - but it's nice to see it come together!#Lotta steps to get it into the shape I want - hard to sustain - but slowly and surely I've got this one :)#It'll be good to finally have it Out haha
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lenievi · 2 years
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KIRK: Recommendations. MCCOY: I have one. I recommend survival. Let's get out of here.
Kirk: hmmmm what about no? Our orders do not say stay alive or retreat. Our mission is to investigate.
McCoy: we’re all dying, Jim
Kirk: hm... We’d better get out of here.
#lately i think that jim and orders is an interesting thing to think about#he is by a book soldier and he listens to orders - sometimes to a fault - the galileo seven for example#except when the ship and the crew is concerned - that's how he also gets around the prime directive#even though one episode is like 'the captain would die and let his ship to be destroyed rather than interfere' but on the other hand#the instances of kirk 'breaking' the PD was because someone else already messed around/enterprise was attacked#and ofc then there is his obsession - even though he does have a logical explanation#but i just can't agree with the popular take that kirk would break rules only for spock because it simply isn't true#he isn't nonchalant about breaking rules as the pop-culture makes it out to be but he also has the option to disregard orders if he deems it#right.#and he did disregard orders in obsession - he disregarded the fact he needed to deliver medical supplies - that he was right about the#danger doesn't matter#i know it's cool to see kirk as someone who would put his friend(s) above other things but... he also literally sacrificed spock twice in#the show#jim thought that he had killed spock in return to tomorrow#getting him to vulcan was something he'd do for others as well. he did ignore orders about yonada because he didn't wanna leave mccoy behind#the episode just doesn't make a big deal out of it#idk this doesn't even make sense but i started to feel that people who are like 'gotta protect kirk from flanderization' aren't always#entirely objective. i mean i'm not objective either lol#but kirk breaking rules all the time and kirk breaking rules only for spock are two extremes and the truth is somewhere in the middle imho#tos nonsense#in any case i probably just need to stop reading other people talking about kirk lol
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celestie0 · 1 month
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gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]
kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear
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ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)
ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)
ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)
a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)
☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1
♬.*゚playlist
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an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33
--
The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.
It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach. 
It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.
“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.
Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”
Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.
“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.
Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.
“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”
You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.
“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”
Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”
“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her. 
Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”
You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.
Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”
You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?” 
Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.
“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”
You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.
“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.
Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”
You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.
“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”
You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.” 
Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”
Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.
The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.
“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.
“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”
You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”
He smiles at you.
“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”
You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.
“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long. 
“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.
It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.
“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”
You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”
He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”
You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore. 
A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?
“Yeah, show me.”
Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.
“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.
He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”
“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”
“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”
He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.
A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.
He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”
He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.
“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.
He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”
You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”
“LCD.”
“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”
“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”
He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.
He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.
“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”
“I did? Didn’t even notice.”
You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you. 
“Do you mind it?” he asks.
“No, not really.”
“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”
“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”
He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.
“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights. 
Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”
“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.
You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”
His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.
“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.
He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”
Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.” 
“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you. 
You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.
But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give. 
“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.
He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”
“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”
He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”
You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”
“Feelings about what?”
You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.
He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”
“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.
“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”
You sigh.
“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”
“That’s pathetic as hell.”
“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.
You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.
“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”
The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”
He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”
Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”
“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.
“Yeah.”
“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”
Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.
“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.
You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.
“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.
“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”
You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”
“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”
“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”
Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”
It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes. 
“No.”
He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.
“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.
“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.
“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong. 
He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”
You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.
You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”
“Go back where?”
“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”
He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.” 
“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.
“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”
“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”
“I beg your finest pardon?”
You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.
Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”
“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth. 
“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.
“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”
Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.
“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.
“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.
“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”
“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”
Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”
“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.
You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.
“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.
“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.
You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.
“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.
“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”
“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.
“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”
You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.
“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck. 
“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”
You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field. 
“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”
Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”
Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.
It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.
“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.
“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.
“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”
You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”
He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”
“D-Distraction?”
“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”
Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.
“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”
You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.
Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”
You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed. 
“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead. 
“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”
There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.
You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.
“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.
“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.
You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.
“Canon? Are you even listening?”
“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.
“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too. 
“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!” 
“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.
You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.
“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.
What the fuck?
Where are you?
Who are you?
Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.
There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.
Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.
“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”
Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.
“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”
You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.
The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.
“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.
“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before. 
“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.
“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.
You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”
“You could have a concussion.”
“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”
He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”
“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”
He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.
He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air
“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”
He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.
“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.
“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.
You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck. 
You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”
“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”
You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.
“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.
“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”
You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.
“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.
“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.
“You got hit by a soccer ball.”
“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.
“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.
“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.” 
He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”
“So glad to be in such good hands right now.” 
He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.
“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.
“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.
“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”
“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.
His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.
“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”
He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.
“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”
You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”
“That’s it?”
“Mhm.”
“Has he tried anything funny with you?” 
You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”
“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”
“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”
His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.
Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.
You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.
Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.
“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”
His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.
“What the fuck was that—”
“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”
“I—”
“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”
He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.
“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.
His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”
“No, I don’t.”
“I don’t believe you.”
You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”
He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.
You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess. 
He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”
Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.
2:34pm kaito (work): yo
2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera
2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up
2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?
2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that. 
2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one
2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry
2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one
2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that
2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really
2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement
2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field
2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?
You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.
“Oh, hi,” you say.
“Hey, are you free tonight?”
“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.
“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”
You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”
“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”
You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”
“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”
“We?” you ask.
“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”
Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”
Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”
Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”
“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”
You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair. 
“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.
“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.
You purse your lips together.
“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”
You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.
“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”
“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.
“Alright cool, will do.” 
You say bye, and then he hangs up.
A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.
Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.
“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.
“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”
You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”
He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”
You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”
“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.” 
“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”
Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.” 
You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.
“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.
“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”
“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”
He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”
Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”
Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.
“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”
Your eyes widen as you shake his hand.  “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”
Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”
“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”
You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.
You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.
You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry. 
Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.
Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.
“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.
“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”
Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”
Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”
“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.
“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.
Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”
“Tell me what?” you prod.
“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”
You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”
“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”
You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.
Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”
“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”
You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”
“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”
“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—” 
“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.
You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.
Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.
“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”
You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.
“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.
“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.
“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.
“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”
His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”
You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?
“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.
“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”
“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”
“It sounds shady as fuck.”
“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”
“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.
“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”
His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”
Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does. 
“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.
He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”
You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.
He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”
“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”
He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.
“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”
At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”
“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”
His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”
“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.” 
His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.
“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done. 
He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.
“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.
His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”
“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”
You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”
He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”
His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you. 
Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.
“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”
You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”
Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”
Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”
Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.
Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”
“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.
“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.
A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look. 
“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”
Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”
Something had been bothering you since you came here. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”
Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”
Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”
You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing. 
“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.
“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”
Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.
“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.
“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”
“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”
“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”
“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.
“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.
“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness. 
Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”
“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.
“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”
“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads. 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”
Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing. 
“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.
Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.
“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”
“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.
“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.
“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”
“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”
Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused. 
Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”
You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging. 
There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.
Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.
You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.
“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”
Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”
“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”
Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist. 
You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”
Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”
You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.
When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.
“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”
You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.
Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are scrutinizing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.
You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.
“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”
“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”
You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.
But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.
Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.
Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”
Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.
“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.
“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”
You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.  
“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”
You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”
His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”
Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.
“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”
You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along. 
His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”
Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.
You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”
He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”
“But I do.”
There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.
You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.
He just holds you closer. “I know.”
“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.
He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”
“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.
“I know.”
--
a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!
➸ you're all caught up!
➸ wrote some kickoff headcanons here
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taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog
(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)
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bettysupremacy · 3 months
Note
hii! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader and any marauder (they all fit) and maybe helping or becoming protective over the reader after a concert or party after a creep follows the reader? 😭
I went through a similar experience with a guy following me around after I went to the restroom after a concert, and it ruined my night if i'm being honest, I was scared 😞 I'm not the most shy of people and usually I can handle myself but it was pretty dark and idk the adrenaline from feeling happy to scared shifted pretty quickly. Luckily I found my friends and let them know and we quickly went back to our car (along with a few dirty looks from my friends god bless lol). I swore I could go to the restroom by myself- will not be doing that again :(
you can ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable!
thank uu
i’m so sorry that happened to you! “(they all fit)”= poly marauders!
There’s something about post concert depression, especially when you’re with the band.
Your glitter eyeshadow is smudged, eyeliner untouched. You’d been shaken around in the pit of your boyfriends fans, and yet the paint hasn’t budged. God bless water-proof makeup. The world seems prettier like this, touched by alcohol and the feeling of soaring pride for your boyfriends. The glittery lights and signs of time square never fail to dazzle you, even now as you lean against Sirius morosely.
“M’hungry.” You frown, toes tipping up towards Sirius, though you fear the mumble may have been more for yourself.
His attention is diverted towards the boys as they discuss what to do now. Plans of how to get home and where to eat. His finger taps your cheek slowly, his focus paying you no mind. Words like Uber, hotel, room service echo throughout their very repetitive conversation.
“Sirius.”
He looks down, a little shocked and sorry at his own attention. “Yes, lovely?”
“M’hungry.”
“Hungry?” He asks, cringing. You’re about thirty minutes from the hotel, and even then, room service will take another thirty.
“So hungry.”
He sighs, unsure of what to do.
“There’s a hotdog stand over there.” You grab his tattooed bicep to balance yourself as you point to your right.
He thinks, peering down at you. “This won’t ruin your dinner?” It’s midnight, but still.
“No,” you sing, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “I really want a hotdog.
He flushes, looking away from your wandering eyes. Normally he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. They would never let you out of their sight in a place like this. But the cart is in eye view of the boys, and he has faith in you not to stray, even in your inebriated manor. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just prefer to keep you safe themselves. Is that okay?
“Okay,” He murmurs, pulling out his wallet, handing you his card. “At least get the good toppings.”
“I always get the good toppings.” You pull away.
The walk is short and the cart is colorful. Red and white stripes, curvy calligraphy. It shines in your inebriated vision. Beautiful. The queues not long, just an older man waiting in front of you, but it feels like forever as the generous man (with the toppings as well) takes your order and wraps it in warm aluminum foil.
You take the hotdog eagerly. “Thank you.”
It’s heavy in your hands, warm too. You yell Sirius’ name excitedly, waving the hotdog above your head for him to see. He laughs, thumbs up until you bump into a man, smile fading, concern etching his brows.
“Oh,” you murmur, looking up. “I’m sorry.”
“No problem,” he smiles. It’s uncomfortable, not the smile of a friendly civilian.
You laugh. It’s polite, anyone can see that, but he leans closer. He smells like liquor, a disgusting discovery that has you subconsciously leaning away.
“You new around here?”
An actual laugh stumbles out of your lips. “London? No.”
He takes this as an entrance. “You should show me around.”
“No, thank you.” You try to walk past him. Towards Sirius who’s already walking over. “Goodnight.”
“Wait,” he grabs your arm, pulling you back. His fingers dig into your elbow painfully.
“What the fuck,” you gasp, pulling your arm away roughly. “don’t touch me.”
“C’mon,” The man slurs, fingers reaching for you again. “Don’t be-“
“Hello?” Sirius walks up, all stock. He grabs your forearm pulling you to him firmly, getting in between you and the man. He’s not much taller, but more intimidating in demeanor. “Do we have a problem?”
“No,” the man scoffs.
“Cause it looks like you put your hands on her.”
He scoffs again, clearly inebriated. “We were just talking.”
“Well, conversations over now.”
“She can make her own decisions.”
“Fuck off, bro.” Sirius waves his hand dismissively. Quickly, he walks you towards the boys who are peeking their eyes up from the Uber app.
“She was asking for it.”
Sirius reels back, dropping your forearm to shove the scary stranger in the chest. He pushes hard, the man losing his balance as he falls to the ground in a sickening thud. You gasp loudly, the unexpected conflict startling you. Vaguely you hear Sirius say something to him, but you’re too focused on the way the man looks up at you.
James and Remus are there in seconds, quick on Sirius’s heels. They pull at him, up and off the man. There were no real punches thrown, no real injuring blows, it wasn’t even enough to form a crowd. But still, you’re shaken. You shiver like a leaf under your James’ leather jacket, suddenly not feeling the warmth of the alcohol you’d consumed before the concert.
Slowly, you stumble back and way from your boys, to the bench next to the shitty bar you’d passed on your way home. That had been scary, but you’re safe; that had been scary, but Sirius dealt with it. You bring your hand up to your chest, setting the hotdog you had been eager to buy down next to you.
“Hi,” Remus pushes aside the hotdog to sit next to you. “Are you okay?”
You look up to the boy, blindingly beautiful in the streetlights and advertisements. “Yes.”
He pushes some stray hair from your face. “He didn’t hurt you?”
“I think it was more startling.” James sits on the other side of you, kissing your temple firmly. “I’m sorry he did that.”
“It’s okay, I’m okay.”
“She’s okay.” Sirius gruffs from where he walks over.
He sounds cooler than he thinks he looks. He’s not bruised, bloodied, or bandaged, if he were he thinks he’d look cool enough to breeze over. But then again you look mad, so maybe he doesn’t want that.
“Don’t be upset,” Sirius crouches to your level. You’re in the arms of a solid Remus. “he was a creep.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Are you trying to tell me something?” He laughs roguishly. “I thought I looked good tousled.”
He does, and you know he’ll look good on the tabloids tomorrow too. Sirius black gives black eye? You sigh at the thought.
“You do.” James feeds Sirius.
“At least someone in this relationship cares for my ego.”
“You look good.”
“Oh, now you tell me.”
You laugh, letting Sirius stare at you like you hung the moon.
“Kiss em?” He pushes his knuckles in front of your lips. His fingers throb lightly, you can feel it on your lips.
“That was stupid.”
“C’mon,” Sirius’ eyes roll as he pulls you up. “You’ve got a hotdog to eat.”
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lecsainz · 4 months
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Hi! I love the way you write and you seem really sweet. No one really answers my requests so I’m not expecting you to😂. Why not try tho. Can I get a Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Half blood Reader. And the head cannons of our relationship and really go and do what you want with it. I love her sm and really want a good bit of head cannons of her.
I’m sorry if this sounds rude at all lol. I’m not trying to be.
HOLDING YOUR HAND
parings: clarisse la rue x fem!half-blood!reader
summary: that one where you date clarisse and what your relationship with her is like.
an: awww, thank you! you seem like an AMAZING person too, seriously! I loved your request, hope it turned out the way you wanted 😁 (note: I didn't specify which greek god the reader was because I didn't know if you wanted a specific one).
( my last work || my last work for riodanverse || main masterlist )
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You and Clarisse have known each other since you first arrived at camp.
It took about two weeks for you to gather the courage to approach the daughter of Ares, which was odd for you because you were a social butterfly.
Clarisse wouldn't admit it, but she found it amusing when you came up to her and started to stutter, and to this day, whenever she remembers, she teases you about it.
After your first conversation, where you asked her to teach you sword fighting since you only knew how to use a bow and arrow until then, Clarisse gladly accepted. Her condition was that she'd only teach you if you joined her team in Capture the Flag, considering you were one of the best - if not the best, in Clarisse's words - at the camp.
Thanks to the training sessions, you and Clarisse began to bond as friends.
You talked about everything and nothing simultaneously. Clarisse felt she could be herself around you, knowing you wouldn't judge her.
Even if Clarisse was in the midst of a fight or giving orders alongside her half-siblings, she would stop as soon as she saw you, to come over for a conversation or to give you a hug.
She doesn't remember when she started feeling something for you, but she got scared that you might not feel the same and ended up distancing herself.
"Hey, Clarisse," you began tentatively, trying to keep your tone light yet concerned. "Mind if I join you?" She glanced up, surprise flickering across her features before settling into a guarded expression. Nodding silently, she gestured to the empty spot beside her. Sitting down, you couldn't ignore the tension radiating from her. "You've been a bit distant lately. Is everything alright?" Her gaze softened, a mix of emotions swirling in her eyes – a blend of vulnerability and the stubbornness that defined her. "It's nothing, just camp stuff," she shrugged, trying to brush it off. You tilted your head, offering a small smile. "You know, you can talk to me about anything. I'm here if you need someone to listen." Clarisse sighed, her guard starting to crack as she looked away, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on her shirt. "I just... I thought maybe I was getting too close. Didn't want things to get... complicated." Her vulnerability caught you off guard, but you reached out, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Complicated how?" She hesitated, eyes darting back to yours, her expression a mix of confusion and a touch of fear. "I... I started feeling something... and I was afraid you didn't feel the same." Your heart skipped a beat as her words sank in. "Clarisse, I..." You searched for the right words, hoping to convey what you hadn't said before. "I've enjoyed every moment we've spent together. You mean a lot to me." She met your gaze, her walls crumbling slightly, allowing a glimpse of vulnerability to shine through. "Really?" "Yeah," you nodded earnestly. "Really." A small, hesitant smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I've missed hanging out with you." "I've missed it too," you admitted, relieved that you were finally talking about the unspoken tension between you. There was a brief pause, the weight of your unspoken feelings hanging in the air before you broke the silence. "So, are we good?" Clarisse grinned, a hint of her usual spark returning. "Yeah, we're good."
It was no surprise to anyone at the camp when you two appeared together.
During the Capture the Flag game, Clarisse always kept an eye out for you. While she was engaged in a battle with a Hermes kid, she ended up falling, and you intervened just in time, nearly hitting the boy with an arrow.
"Need a hand?" You asked with a smile at your girlfriend. "I could've handled it myself," she grumbled, starting to get up. "A 'thank you' would be nice," you offered your hand to her. She accepted the help to stand. "I'm holding your hand," she murmurs, taking yours, and you lift her, shaking your head, amused by her. Clarisse stops and looks at your hands together with a huge smile. Before you could say anything, a noise from the forest interrupted, and Clarisse planted a kiss on your cheek before darting off, leaving you standing there, trying to process what just happened.
Clarisse definitely loves giving bear hugs.
She would wake up earlier just to spend extra time with you without anyone interrupting.
When Clarisse's siblings from the Ares cabin tease her about being a lovesick fool, she doesn't even bother defending herself anymore because it's true, and she's not ashamed to admit it.
Your love language is physical touch, so she wouldn't mind receiving hugs and holding your hand all day long.
"Good morning!" You'd hug her from behind at the Ares table, planting a kiss on her cheek, realizing she was annoyed, then darting off to your own table. When you glanced back at the brunette, you'd see her with a huge goofy smile amidst the cheers and teasing from her siblings.
While Clarisse trains, you would go just to watch her. She'd try to impress you, but if she made a mistake, she'd be extremely embarrassed, yet she wouldn't admit it, claiming that the slip was part of her plan for that move that made her fall to the ground.
"And that's how you catch your opponent off guard," she'd explain as she gets up from the ground. "Yeah, right," you start laughing at her. "Hey, I'm serious." Clarisse brushes off the dirt from her clothes, trying to save face.
She'd dislike everyone else but seeing you would instantly brighten her day by 100% .
1K notes · View notes
nickfowlerrr · 7 months
Note
Bucky Barnes and you get stuck in elevator for one hour. What are you two doing? 🖤 honest answers only even if they are filthy 🔥
stuck with you
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pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader
words: 2.4k
warnings: 18+ only. smut. angst. all the feelings. unprotected sex. hint of a breeding kink. some spanking. oh some very incorrect description of an anxiety attack and how to help someone through it. i know, i know, but it's for the story lmao. uhm if i'm missing something that should be tagged pls lmk!
notes: i couldn't not write something for this and it was gonna be so smutty and then i started and then i... i dont know what happened lol. but thank you for sending this in, i know it's not a direct answer but i hope you like it <3 thank you in advance for reading and as always, comments and reblogs are always welcome and so appreciated!
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"What exactly do you think slamming all the buttons will do?" he asked as he leaned against the wall of the elevator, nothing short of casual amusement lacing his voice as he watched you.
You ignored him, trying the emergency call button for the fifth time in the minute that had passed since the elevator stopped moving.
You didn't realize the change in your breathing until Bucky's hand came to rest on your arm. You flinched at his touch, having been too lost in your growing panic to notice he'd gotten closer.
"What?" you asked through a heavy, annoyed breath.
"You need to breathe, sweetheart," he instructed gently, tugging you to face him fully, pulling you away from the buttons as he did.
"I'm breathing," you snapped at him, forcing yourself to take a breath as you worked to steel your nerves. It was all in vain, though. You couldn't fight off the paranoid thoughts as they were coming through your mind too fast to even try and rationalize. "I just," you said shakily, "I ca- I can't,"
You suddenly found yourself nearly bowing over as you tried to catch a breath. Bucky helped you to sit while he kept his hold on you, his intent eyes set on you as your own squeezed shut, your hands mindlessly gripping his forearms as you tried to ground yourself.
"Look at me, sweetheart," he ordered firmly, though he waited patiently for you to follow his instructions.
You felt like you couldn't catch your breath, each one you took was too shallow and you couldn't manage to breathe in any deeper.
"Just hold your breath for a second, doll,"
You were still struggling, and the last thought on your mind was to stop breathing altogether, you were sure you'd pass out if you did. Your gasping was only growing worse as Bucky contemplated his options.
He didn't think long before he gently took your face in his hands and forced you to look at him, your eyes glassy and lips parted, desperate for air. had his heart clenching. He didn't want to see you like that, not with that fear in your eyes. He leaned into you and pressed his lips to yours, more fervently than he even meant to.
You were still against him for a moment, not moving as he pulled you closer to him. It took you a second to register what was happening. All at once, though, your mind caught up, your heart pounding in your chest only growing wilder as you let your eyes close, crawling into Bucky's lap as he held you gently, his lips still against yours. You were all together intoxicated by him, his soft but secure touch, the taste of mint and coffee on his lips, the scent of his cologne mixed with his shampoo from your shared shower earlier, it wrapped around you as your previous thoughts of peril faded into the background.
All that you could think of was him, here and now. And you in his solid lap, his thick arms wrapped around you, his hands holding your face so delicately. Your lips began to work with his as you breathed him in and let him taste you in kind.
You soon lost yourself to him completely; and then, after another long minute, you realized you once again couldn't breathe.
You broke the kiss, hungry for air just slightly more than you were for him. You let your face fall as your noses brushed and you finally were able to catch your breath.
"Huh," you huffed, suddenly remembering yourself. You peeked up at him through your lashes meekly before you murmured a soft thank you.
He smirked halfheartedly, but a little bit of sadness he couldn't hide was apparent on his face as you then moved to get off of him, not that you noticed. Your thoughts were once again getting caught in a spiral.
As you tried to move off his lap, you were stopped. Bucky held you down, his large hands gently squeezing into your soft waist, keeping you exactly where you were.
"I get you're still mad at me, sweetheart, but I'm not just gonna sit here and watch you spiral again," he said as he pulled you into him.
You slumped into his chest, letting your heaviness rest on him as you nuzzled your face into his neck.
"I'm not mad at you," you mumbled into his skin.
"Could've fooled me," he breathed a humorless laugh.
You sighed, pulling away from him slightly.
"I'm not mad. I'm just-" you cut yourself off before forcing your tongue to continue, "I'm scared."
Your eyes were glued to his chest as you spoke but the moment the admission slipped past your lips, Bucky was tilting your chin up to look you in the eyes.
"Sweetheart," he began.
"Not of you. Of me. I just... I'm not, I'm not used to this. To being loved, the way you love me. And I don't wanna lose that," you whispered as tears pricked your eyes. "I don't want you to end up feeling stuck with me. Because I'm a lot, Bucky. And I'm not easy to live with. I'm particular and I need alone time a lot of the time... and ... You just have no idea what you're inviting into your life."
"You," he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his touch grazing your cheek as he wiped a tear from your skin. "I'm inviting you. I love you. I want you. All of it with you. Every last bit, doll."
You could see the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke and it only made you all the more worried.
"I'm not trying to pressure you, sweetheart. If you don't want to move in with me, you don't have to. If you need time, I'll wait. However long I have to," he said as his hands began to run up and down your back soothingly.
"I want to, Bucky. I do. I just don't want you to regret this."
"When are you gonna see it," he breathed as he squeezed you closer, looking up at you as he leaned back against the wall behind him.
"See what?"
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I could never regret you."
"You say that-"
"Ever."
Your eyes softened at his insistence, and deep down, you knew he meant it.
Your avoidance of an answer to his question this morning had been you trying to protect not only yourself, but him from disappointment, though it was becoming clearer and clearer that it was only hurting you both.
You were scared, but you also wanted this just as badly as he did. God, how long you'd dreamed about the day you'd wake up in Bucky's bed and not have to rush to your own apartment to get ready for work. How nice it'd be to get home from a miserable day and have him there to make things better without having to endure the twenty minute commute from his place to yours. To share a place together, your and his...
You were near burrowing yourself in his embrace, his hands still soothing up and down your back as he held you close, when you reached to grab one of his hands in yours.
You pulled away from him enough to look him in the eye.
"If you're sure,"
"I'm sure,"
"And if you ever wanna go back on it, or change your mind, I -"
"I wouldn't,"
"But if you do-"
"I won't."
There was a moment, a silent conversation between you two as you look into each other's eyes. You pressed your forehead to his, kissing him delicately before you pulled back again.
You nodded, "I'd love to move in with you, Bucky," you said with a small smile playing on your lips. Your heart soared as you watched the dopey smile that stretched onto Bucky's face before he crushed you against him. "That's all I needed to hear," he said in between kissing you everywhere he could in the position you were in. You laughed as you wiggled to sit up higher on his lap, looking down at him.
You reached a hand to brush through his hair, and as you did the elevator jolted. You caught yourself with a hand against the wall as Bucky tightened his arms around you instinctively.
You felt his warm breath against the swell of your breasts before you looked down with a raised brow. His face was right against your chest, and his eyes were now locked on your breasts as they hung in front of him, his hands grabbing at your ass while his eyes grew darker, filled with even more excitement.
"Wouldn't mind if that happened again," he said huskily.
"Odds are in your favor, you know this complex is the fucking worst," you huffed.
"All the more reason for you to move in with me," he smirked. "But ya know one good thing about these old buildings?"
"Hm?"
"They don't have cameras in the elevators," he said, smacking your ass and causing you to gasp and jolt from the strike.
He was mesmerized by the sight as he repeated his actions over and over again until you were whining and pressing your chest into his face.
"Buck," you mewled pathetically, the tingling between your thighs growing more unbearably with every slap against your ass. Each hit only getting you more wet for him.
You were seconds away from ripping your tank top off yourself but Bucky quickly pulled it off and over your head for you before his lips descended upon your breasts.
You let your head drop back in time with your hips pressing to sit fully in his lap, a moan escaping you when you felt his hard length against you. Your hands were in his hair as his hands squeezed your ample flesh, his lips fervent against your skin still.
You couldn't help yourself as you began tilting your hips over his, back and forth, your movements more urgent the more you felt him twitch beneath you.
Your bra had been tossed to the side minutes ago but you were still in your leggings while Bucky was still fully clothed.
When you tilted your hips just right, you felt his cock rub against your clothed clit and you nearly lost it completely; shoving yourself off of him to finally rid yourself of the clothing that kept you from what you really wanted. Bucky followed your lead without having to be told and got undressed in the blink of an eye. You saw his throbbing length standing erect for you and nearly salivated at the sight, your mouth parted in awe at his beauty. You swear, you'd never get over it. Every little thing about him, from his scars to his own stretch marks, every bit of his was beautiful. And you smiled as you saw him admiring you the very same way, that wonderstruck look in his eyes you'd never get used to. Your patience was wearing down the longer you took, though, and quickly, you climbed back down into his lap before lining his cock up to your slick entrance.
You slowly sank down on him, moans from both of you filling the elevator at the sensation.
"Oh, fuck, doll," he moaned while groping your hips. You started moving up and down his length, slowly as you enjoyed the stretch of him inside of you, wanting to feel each and every inch of his thick cock as it filled you up.
"Mmm," you hummed a mindless moan, throwing your head back in pleasure as Bucky took a pert nipple into his mouth, squeezing and kneading your breast in his big hand. "Feels good, Buck," you breathed, slamming your hips down on his cock, earning a deep throated growl from him.
Suddenly his hands were back on your wide set hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh there as he began fucking up into you himself. You were helpless as you keened at the feeling, gripping his shoulders to keep yourself upright. "Oh god, Bucky, please," you whined, pushing your hips back down to meet his thrusts, "please, please, please,"
"You close, sweetheart?" he panted. "I can feel you gripping my cock, baby, fuck," his eyes squeezed tight as he nearly snarled the curse of pleasure.
"Gonna fuckin' fill you up and then you're really gonna be stuck with me,"
"Bucky," you gasped, though it came out with a moan.
"That's it, sweetheart, take my fucking cock, just like that, doll. Just like that," he punctuated each word with another snap of his hips into yours, rolling into you and rubbing your clit deliciously with his every move.
You were both panting, a sheen of sweat on both of you as he fucked you perfectly, the only other sounds to be heard were of your twin moans and the slapping sounds of skin on skin, the salacious squelching of his dick drilling into you over and over.
His thumb found your clit and drew tight circles over the sensitive bud as he felt your walls tightening around him, wanting to keep him inside of you. It was almost blinding, the way you were hit with your orgasm. Your muscles tightened as Bucky continued to fuck you through the high, unintelligible moans and whimpers of his name and cries intermingled as the waves of pleasure crashed over you over and over again.
You found yourself on your back in the blink of an eye as Bucky continued to pummel into your tight heat, deep strokes along your velvety walls as he chased his own high, holding himself above you as he did.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm gonna come, baby, I-" his words turned into a deep groan as his pace faltered, soon morphing into heady moans when you felt his warm spurts filling you up as he came inside of you.
His thrusts slowed as did your breathing until he slowly pulled out of you, laying himself down next to you and pulling you into him. He kissed your forehead as you melted into his embrace.
"I mean it, ya know. You're the one who's gonna be stuck with me, sweetheart. I'm not goin' anywhere," he promised with a simper. "Not without you."
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Note
I was thinking and wondering about how 141 and könig would react if their s/o started breaking down whenever they dropped a plate or fucked up in some way like leaving something on the stove and their s/o completely breaks down. Apologizing and crying and saying “pls don’t be mad at me” stuff like that.
Or reader accidentally says “ok” I’m a kinda of snippy voice and they genuinely didn’t hear reader, and say “what?” And reader responds with “yes sir” or some shit like that as a trauma response? Srry if this is confusing lol
If this makes you uncomfortable pls ignore
Hey there! I can do this, no problem.
141 + König Reacting To Reader Having A Breakdown From Past Trauma
Warnings: mentions of past trauma, abuse, crying, feelings of unworthiness, swearing - ENDS IN FLUFF!!!
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Simon Ghost Riley-
Nothing was going your way today. You spilled coffee on yourself first thing this morning, stepped in a muddy puddle with your brand new shoes, and your boss was in a horrible mood, and you were his target.
You made it home later that night, and it took everything in you not to break down. Simon would be home soon, and you knew he'd be hungry, so you mustered what energy you could to head to the kitchen and start cooking.
~
"Hey babe, I'm home." You heard Simon's voice call from the front door.
"Hey, dinner is ready." You turned a bit too quickly to greet your husband, and the plate of food in your hands slid from your grasp, smashing to the floor.
You both stood there for a moment, staring at the mess on the floor, before you let out a choked sob.
Simon quickly threw his gear to the floor and carefully made his way around the broken shards to you. "Baby, what's wrong? It's okay. We can clean it."
"Please don't be mad at me, Simon." You sobbed into his chest. "I didn't mean to it, it slipped."
Simon's eyes widened as he looked down at you, grasping your cheeks in his hands softly. "Sweetheart, why would I be mad at you? It was an accident."
"Because I broke the plate! And you were probably hungry, and now dinner is ruined, and I'm a terrible spouse." Your brain was going a mile a minute as the word vomit continued to pour out. "I'm so sorry, Simon. I'll be better."
Simon pulled you back into his chest as he tore through the thoughts in his head. Why were you so upset? It was just a plate. You two could order takeout? What kind of person would be mad over....oh. A lightbulb went off in Simon's head as he looked down at you.
"Y/N, sweetheart, look at me."
You slowly peeled your head from his chest as you looked up at him, your eyes puffy and red from crying.
Simon rubbed his thumbs along your cheeks gently before he spoke. "I'm not him. And you are a wonderful spouse. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be by my side every day. I don't give a damn if you dropped a plate. We are all human, kid."
You let out another sob, your bottom lip quivering as you took in his words. It was known, Simon was a man of few words, but he always, always knew what to say to help you in the moment.
"I love you, Y/N, always. I'm always going to be here for you, and I promise you, I'm never going to get mad about trivial shit like this. You're okay."
Simon stayed holding you for some time, rubbing soothing circles in your back as you started to calm down. "Why don't we order some takeout, yeah? My treat."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
You and Johnny had just finished up dinner, and he was currently finishing up the dishes as you got the show you two were binging ready on the TV.
"Do you want any popcorn or anything babe?" He asked as he placed the last dish in the cupboard.
"Nah, only you and a buttload of cuddles." You said, turning to him with a warm smile.
Johnny leaned back, admiring you, as his hands rested on the stove behind him.
"FUCK!" He cried out, as there was a searing pain emitting from his hand. "Is the stove still on?"
You jumped up from your spot on the couch, alarmed at Johnny's cry of pain, and you went white as you realized you'd forgotten to turn the stove off after cooking dinner.
"Oh my God, Johnny. I'm so sorry." You mumbled, your heart beginning to race as you made your way over to your boyfriend slowly.
"Shite, that fucking hurts." Johnny waived his hand in the air, trying to shake away some of the pain, not realizing his quick movements had you hunched down in the corner, your arms over your head defensively.
"Y/N?" He asked, the pain in his hand long forgotten. "Baby, did you..did you think I was going to hit you?"
"I...I... I'm sorry, Johnny. I didn't mean to, I forgot I thought I turned it off." You cried out, tears now falling down your cheeks, your hands shaking violently.
"Did that..did that fucker hurt you?" Johnny began to put the pieces together in his brain. Before him, you were in a relationship with a man who liked to hurt you whenever you made a mistake.
You gave a small nod, your bottom lip trembling as you tried to prevent a small sob from escaping. Johnny slowly moved to sit on the floor next to to, and grabbed your hands gently.
"Y/N, I will never, and I mean never lay a finger on you like that. Any man who does has no right to be called a man. I am so sorry you went through that." Johnny rubbed soothing circles into your wrists as his eyes stared lovingly into yours. "Don't worry about the stove being left on. It happens. I do shit like that all the time. Plus, I've gotten way worse burns than this, this is child's play."
You let out a soft chuckle as you exhaled deeply. "I love you, Johnny. Thank you. Let me at least grab the burn cream for you."
"I love you too, babe." He have you a warm smile as you walked over to the medicine cabinet and watched as you fumbled with the contents.
Johnny made a silent promise to himself that day, that if he ever saw your ex, he'd teach him a lesson of his own.
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John Price-
"Hey, have you seen my white dress shirt? It's not in my closet." John asked, as he rummaged through your shared room. He had a gala tonight he was supposed to attend, and he couldn't find his favorite white shirt.
"Oh! I washed it, I knew you wanted to wear it, let me go grab it from the dryer." You called back, making your way to your laundry room.
You rummaged through the dryer, trying to find his shirt, and your heart dropped when you saw it. You pulled it out, revealing a giant ink stain on the front, and looked over to find a pen that had gone through the dryer along with it.
Your hand flew to your mouth as you let out a muffled sob. "No, no, no."
"Were you able to find it? I appriciate you washing-" John's voice was cut short as he took in the scene in front of him. "Is that my shirt?"
"John...I... I didn't know that it was..there was a pen." You started rambling, your voice trembling with each word.
John took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he took in your state. "It's alright, love."
"No! No you're mad, I fucked up and now you're mad. I'm so sorry. I didn't know there was a pen, and..and.. please don't hate me." You sobbed, falling to your knees, your hands flying to your face.
John felt his heart shatter as he watched you crumble to the floor. He was very aware of the past you had with your family, a family that allowed for very few mistakes, and one that would punish you for any said mistakes.
"Y/N. Baby. It's okay." John crouched down beside you, pulling you into his lap. "I've got you, it's alright."
You choked out a sob as you threw your face into his chest, staining his shirt with your tears. "No, no, it's not. This was your favorite shirt and I fucked it up."
"Love, I was the one who left that pen in my pants. It's my fault, not yours. I promise you, honey, I'm not mad." He rubbed at your arms soothingly as he pressed kisses to your forehead.
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as you continued to clutch onto your husband's arms. "I should've looked, still. I'll buy you a new one."
"Aye, screw the shirt. I'm kind of glad it's ruined. I didn't want to go to that silly dress up party anyway. I'd much rather stay here with you."
"Really?" You asked, wiping away your tears.
"Really. I don't need some to be at some party with stuffy stuck-up pricks when I can be here with my pretty little partner. I'm gonna go order us some takeout. What do you say we get our pjs on and watch a movie, yeah?"
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
"Hey, babe. Can you keep me alive in this game for like 5 minutes? I have to go run to the bathroom, I can't pause it." Kyle called out.
"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm not very good at those kinds of games but I can try." You gave him a sheepish smile as you walked over to him.
"It should be super easy. Just walk anywhere, but where the guys with red bars over their heads are. Those are the enemies." Kyle said, before placing a kiss on your head. "I'll be super quick, I promise."
You swallowed thickly as Kyle walked away, your hands shaking slightly as you held onto the controller.
You managed to do pretty well at first, avoiding all of the enemies that were wandering around you. Luck, however, was not on your side for long.
An enemy came out of nowhere as you were pacing back and forth in one of the corners of the map and managed to kill you with one hit.
"Thanks for watching it, babe. I hate how I can't save my progress in -" Kyle stopped mid sentence as he saw the "YOU DIED" message flicker across the TV screen.
"Kyle, I'm so sorry. He...he came out of nowhere, and I.. it was one hit, and there wasn't anything I could do." You started to hyperventilate, your breathing increasing rapidly as tears brimmed in the corner of your eyes. "I was doing well, and I didn't see him I.. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey, it's okay!" Kyle was quick to come over to you, taking the controller from your hands. "I'm not mad, baby."
"But you losy your progress and I fucked up, and now you hate me." Your thoughts were racing through your head faster than you could process, and you threw your face into your hands as you let out a sob.
"Y/N. Baby. I promise you, I couldn't ever hate you. It's a stupid video game. It's okay. You're safe. You're with me, not him." Kyle gently pulled you into his lap as he began to press kisses to your hair. "It's okay, sweetheart. Besides, it gives me a chance to go back and loot better shit anyway."
You looked up to him through your bleary eyes, and gave a wobbly smile. "I don't deserve you, Kyle Garrick."
"Bugger off with that, love. If anyone doesn't deserve anyone, it's me who doesn't deserve you."
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König-
You and König were cleaning up in the weapons/gear locker at the end of a brutal mission. The two of you moved in slow motion around the room, removing your gear and laying down your weapons to be cleaned.
"Maus, can you help me get this vest off? I can't seem to get the buckle." Königs voice shook you from your thoughts, and you turned to help your lover.
The strap of the vest seemed to be stuck, so you gave it a little tug. You evidently had put too much pressure, and it caused you to tear a hole in the fabric, leaving the strap useless.
Your mouth flew open, and you quickly ran over to grab one of the sewing kits on the table. You returned to him, and immediately started to thread at the fabric.
"Hey, hey, it's fine. It's just a tear. We can look at it later." König said, trying to grab at your frenzied hands.
"NO! No, I have to fix it!" You shoved him away as you continued to stitch at the torn fabric of his vest. "I have to fix it."
König watched helplessly as tears began to stream down your face, unable to do anything to console you.
He knew of your past boyfriend and how weak he made you feel. Any mistake you made would end with you being on the end of either physical, or mental abuse, and it made Königs blood boil thinking that anyone could harm someone like you.
"Maus." His voice was firm, catching your attention immediately. "Stop, please."
Your bottom lip wobbled, a whimper barely escaping your lips as you looked up at him. "But I ruined it."
"I don't care about the vest, schatz, it's military issued I can get another." He said gently, as he pulled your hands away from the vest. "I just need you to be okay."
"I'm..okay. Please don't me mad at me." You cried softly, looking back to the vest.
"I couldn't ever be mad at you for something like this. I'm not, and will not ever be like him, okay? You're alright, I promise you." His hands dropped yours and landed on the back of your neck, as he turned your head back to him.
"Tell me you're okay." He said, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
"I'm okay." You repeated, your eyes fluttering shut.
"Tell me you're safe." Another kiss was pressed to your cheek.
"I'm safe."
"Tell me you're loved." A kiss was placed to your forehead.
"I am loved." You repeated once more as a final kiss was placed to your lips. König had started this "mantra" of sorts one of the very first panic attacks you had with him, and it had become a comfort for you ever since. He was always the best at calming you down.
"You are so beautiful, Maus. I love you so much. Let's get the rest of this gear off and go to sleep, alright? I've got you."
And he did, he always had you. He'd never, in his life, ever let you feel like you were anything less than wonderful.
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A/N: thanks for reading!
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little-cereal-draws · 2 years
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i can't wait until i can get my own apartment :)
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zepskies · 3 months
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Headcanon: Teasing him under the table.
Pairings: Dean Winchester x F. Reader, Beau Arlen x F. Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
AN: This was requested by this lovely anon:
Could you please write an imagine or something of all three boys (Dean: love the plus-sized one-shots; Ben from BMD: love your interpretation of The Boys; and Beau) - and how would they react to their girlfriends giving them a footsie? 👀
I'm interpreting this as a "playing footsie" moment lol.
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Flirting, innuendo, and some smuttiness. (You know Ben. 🙄)
Headcanon: How Dean, Beau, and Ben would react to you teasing him under the table.
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Dean Winchester
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Because of the request, I had the Espresso-verse version of Dean and the reader in mind, but this can be general Dean x Reader too.
Dean is playful by nature. (AKA: a professional flirt.)
He enjoys working you up, but he enjoys it even more when you're confident enough to tease him back...even if it somehow always surprises him.
But he's been driving you crazy all damn day. Throughout the whole damn hunt.
Flirty smiles, suggestive quips masked as "innocent" remarks, brief touches to your arm, the small of your back, guiding you by your hip, a thumb swiping under your shirt and against your skin, lightly pressing into your curves...
It's all "normal," except for the deeper, suggestively teasing glint in his eyes.
He's in a good mood, and he wants you to know it.
And it's all in front of Sam, who knows the game you two are playing. Sometimes he smiles in both amusement and fondness, and he looks away to allow you guys your moment. Sometimes he rolls his eyes, or just tries to ignore it when he's had enough of you two eye-fucking in plain sight.
Dean knows what his touch does to you, but you know one or two of his weaknesses too...
When the hunt is finally over, the three of you find the closest diner to the motel you're staying at.
Dean orders the greasiest burger you've ever seen. He also teases Sam for already looking for the next case with his laptop at the table.
Dean glances over, his lips starting to curve as he licks a bit of burger juice off his fingers. He looks at you dead in the eyes while he sucks his digits clean.
He's equal parts noisy and disgusting. But damn him, your hand tightens around your glass of water. Your lips press together, and so do your legs. You nudge his foot with your boot and raise your brows. Stop it.
He pouts, and he nudges your foot right back. Make me.
You tilt your head at him. Adopting a certain smile, you slide your foot across the floor, under the table, and graze his calf with the side of your boot.
Dean's lips twitch. Sam is seemingly oblivious as he continues researching on his laptop.
Your foot travels higher up Dean's leg, up the inside of his thigh. You only gasp a little when he suddenly reaches down and grabs your ankle. His resulting smirk is salacious, even as he challenges you with his eyes. What're you gonna do now?
You contemplate exactly that, when his brother's voice startles you.
"Can you guys do me a favor and quit it?" Sam asks. He doesn't even look up from his laptop. "At least wait until we get home."
You bite your lip and blush. Both you and Dean fight harder smiles at being caught.
"No one likes a killjoy, Sammy," Dean remarks. Sam just sends his brother a dry look.
Dean's amusement remains. He taps on your ankle in contemplation, but after a moment, he lets you go. He grabs his phone and texts you under the table.
"Quickie out back?"
You grimace, then you text him back.
"Gross, babe. There are things I promised myself I'd never do in a public bathroom."
"So...meet you in 5? Come on, I'll do that thing you like. 😈"
His stupid grin, his stupid face, his long fingers tapping on the tabletop (somehow, even that is suggestive). It all eventually breaks you down.
"...Ugh, fine," you reply. You slide out of your chair first. But as you walk past him, you let your fingers brush down his neck — in a way that always makes a little shiver run down his spine. You smirk in satisfaction as you walk away.
He might've started it, but you could damn well finish it.
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Beau Arlen
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Oh, my dear cowboy sheriff...
Beau is also a jokester. He takes his work and the people in his life seriously, but he likes to keep things "loose." Perhaps it's a coping mechanism, but it's mostly just his way of going through life.
Tonight, however, is a tense dinner with your parents, Beau, Emily, and his parents that are visiting from Houston.
It's a nice steakhouse, more high scale than you or Beau are used to, but your parents insisted on it. Beau's parents are good-natured and full of southern charm. They're just happy to see their son and granddaughter, let alone meet his girlfriend for the first time.
The night is only tense because, as much as you love your parents, they're not sure about you dating a man with such a dangerous job.
They also have a thing about appearances, and the fact that he's divorced and has a child who isn't yours, and frankly, all the things you don't give a rat's ass about.
Your back is ramrod straight in your chair (there's a tightness in your spine that comes every time your mom taps you on the hand with her fork to remind you not to slouch).
You can't even really taste what you're eating, because you're too focused on making sure your parents don't say anything insulting to Beau and his family.
Then a boot taps against your open-toed heel. You glance over at your boyfriend, and he's already wearing a smile. He gives you a teasing wink as he eats a forkful of mashed potatoes.
Your stress begins to melt, just like that. God, this man.
You smile back at him and take a calming sip of wine. Your mom begins to talk about her upcoming tupperware party. Your smile deepens, but not because of that.
You playfully tap your foot on Beau's without looking at him.
You feel his discreet stare on the side of your face, but you pretend to be invested in your mom's conversation about tupperware. (I mean really, I thought those parties went extinct. Apparently, not in the Midwest.)
Beau's foot nudges yours back. You hook your toes under the hem of his pant leg, inching it up and up...
He retaliates with a hand drifting down your thigh, over the skirt of your dress. He grabs just above your knee and squeezes. Your leg jerks up on reflex, and your knee hits under the table hard enough to rattle the silverware, making you yelp.
The whole table looks over at you in both surprise and concern. (Your mother more in disapproval.)
Beau bites his lip against a deeper smile.
"You okay there, baby?" he asks.
"Sorry, my foot slipped," you lie through a tight smile. When you turn to him, your eyes narrow a fraction, promising retribution. You grab his hand tightly, but he just uses the motion to bring yours up to his lips.
Beau looks forward to whatever you plan to dish out next, as long as you wait until after dessert.
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Soldier Boy (Ben)
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Aw hell, this guy. 😂 I'm imagining BMD-verse Ben for this one...
Ben has a decent sense of humor, but he doesn't often like to be teased.
He'd rather be respected.
But you love to tease him anyway.
You also know his "limits," but it doesn't stop you from figuratively tap dancing all over them when you have the opportunity. You're slowly but surely trying to get him to loosen up.
Sometimes though, it bites you in the ass.
Like tonight, when you've gotten him to come with you to a Broadway show. You two have your own private booth on the second floor balcony. (He likes the privacy, and it's safer for you, as he's argued.)
20 minutes in, and you can already tell he's gotten bored. To be fair, it's a drama that's admittedly a bit dry and slow. You don't want him to walk out before the intermission, so you start to hatch an idea...
Your legs are crossed, and you draw your high-heel slowly against the side of his foot. When he glances over you, you pretend to be invested in the show. Your arms are crossed over your black dress that falls to mid-thigh. Your jacket is draped across your lap.
You brush the thin point of your heel across the top of his shoe, then inch it up under his pant leg, higher and higher.
Until Ben's hand finally grabs hold of your knee. Biting your lip, you turn to him with a smile.
"Do you mind? I'm watching the show," you tell him. He allows you to peel his hand of your leg and place it back in his lap. You cross your legs in the opposite direction.
Ben raises his brows. His lips twitch slightly, but he seems to acquiesce, relaxing back in his seat.
For a while, you actually watch the play. You become invested in the story and the characters by the time it gets halfway through Act 1.
That's when you feel a strong hand slowly slip down your thigh and between your legs, slowly rucking up the skirt of your dress.
You try to stifle a gasp as you look over at Ben. He doesn't meet your hot stare, but his hand is certainly on the move, covered by your jacket. He brushes against your panties.
Against your better judgment, you let him spread your legs wider. A smile finally crosses his face. His fingers hook around your underwear and brush between your folds. You let out a shaky breath and shift in your seat.
You know you should stop him, but you can't help the warm coil of arousal starting pool in your lower belly, and between your legs. Ben feels it with a smirk. His fingers find your clit with ease.
"Ben," you gasp, warning him in a heated whisper.
He leans over and presses a raspy kiss to your neck, thanks to his beard.
"Perks of a private room," he says. His voice is a low rumble in your ear.
You start to shake your head. You know you started this, but you also know him. This has the potential to go off the rails very quickly.
"This isn't a room. We're on a damn balcony," you breathe out, even as his fingers continue to work you over. You bite your lip to stifle a moan. "Anyone could—"
"Who gives a fuck?" Ben says gruffly.
As usual, his raunchy brand of logic (and his talented hands) manage to persuade you to give in.
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AN: lol I had fun with this one. Let me know what you think! 💜
Dean Winchester Imagines
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Big Sky Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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Dean, Beau + SB Tag List (Part 1)
@melancholictearz @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman
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sanguineterrain · 9 days
Note
im begging you to write a part 2 of vigilante reader because the way you write??? the dynamic between reader and jason??? the sex tension???are chef kiss!!!
thanks very much! part 2 and I couldn't put off the reveal bc I'm just too impatient lol 🫶 but I might write another part post-reveal? maybe? cuz I'm growing attached to these two <3
jason todd x gn!vigilante!reader (nocturne). tw explosions, smoke inhalation, reader passes out, canon typical violence, identity reveal, asshole bruce. jason is in love? jason is in love.
read pt 1 here! | all fics are reblogged to @sanguinelibrary
****
"Go home."
"Bruce, I—"
Bruce looks at you, eyes sharp with fury and... something else. Something older.
The others know how to talk back. You still haven't gained the courage to sass The Batman.
"Go. Home. If you need an escort, I can call Superman."
You take a step back at his coldness.
"Bruce, I know I messed up, letting Hood escape but—"
"Yes, you did. You deliberately disobeyed an order. I told everybody to stand down. He could've killed you."
But he didn't, you don't say. He could've, but he chose not to.
He'd felt safe.
"I had it under control, honestly. He wasn't—it wasn't like the other encounters you've had with him. He wouldn't have hurt me."
That is the wrong thing to say. You realize that after the words leave your mouth and the muscles in Bruce's jaw jump.
"You can't be this naive. I know I wouldn't have chosen someone who's this naive," he says savagely. "You know Hood can't be trusted, and you're defending him to me. We've seen time and again he's rogue. He doesn't make sense and that's exactly why he's dangerous."
"But if you would just listen—"
"Enough," he snaps. "Enough. Go home. I'm suspending you for three weeks."
"Three w—I'm not even injured!" you cry.
"No, but you need the time. You're not thinking clearly. Go. I don't want to see you until next month."
You press your lips together before you say something truly foul. Something about Batman's habit of pushing people away. Something about dead Robins.
You don't let the tears fall until you leave the Cave. This is all Hood's fault. You know it would've been a different conversation if you'd managed to successfully capture him.
You'll take down the Red Hood if it's the last thing you do.
****
It takes you approximately two days to break your suspension.
In your defense, you meant to follow Bruce's orders. You would've stayed put and helped Barbara with research instead.
But not at the expense of civilian lives.
"All units to Canal and Riverview, 10-80. Standby. Do not enter the factory until given clearance from the Bomb Squad."
You turn off the police scanner and stuff it in your drawer. In Gotham, explosions usually come in multiples. If there's one, there's bound to be another. The police are generally inept when it comes to evacuating civilians. You know one of the other Bats are on their way, but you're the closest to the docks.
You glance at your suit. No. If you go as Nocturne, Batman might suspend you indefinitely.
You grab your gas mask and put on a black hoodie and a domino mask. You'll just have to make do.
The marina is blanketed in thick smoke. It makes your eyes water. But in the commotion it causes, you're able to slip past the barriers and help workers out of the factory. It's difficult because without the suit, people don't give you the same trust and respect. But you're anonymous, and that's all that matters.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
You ignore the voice and keep hauling two elderly workers towards the exit. They're barely outside before you turn around, determined to clear every level of the factory.
You're yanked backward by a hand on your hoodie. You nearly lose your footing, but the hand is firm, dragging you towards the pier.
You're spun around and put face to face with a red helmet.
Oh, of all the fucking—
"Let go of me!" you shout, smacking his arm. Hood's grip tightens.
"I will as soon as you stop doing stupid shit. What were you thinking, coming here?"
You pause. Whoops. This isn't how a plain civilian would react to being apprehended by the Red Hood.
And that's definitely not how the Red Hood would react to getting swatted by a random civilian. Shit.
"I was, um, I was thinking I could help," you say haltingly. "P-please don't hurt me, Mr. Hood, I was—"
Hood sighs and lets you go, then tucks his gun into his holster.
"Cut the shit. I know you're Nocturne. I also know that you need some acting lessons because what the hell was that? Mr. Hood?"
A chill washes over you. "I don't know what you mean. Nocturne?"
Hood shakes his head. "I don't have time for this. The building's gonna collapse any second. Stay. Put."
He goes back toward the smoking entrance. Your eye twitches as you follow him.
"Last time I checked, you don't have that kind of authority, Hood."
He turns around and looms over you. "Don't I?"
Anyone else would back down. You might've a week ago. You should, after the tongue lashing Bruce gave you.
But there's no soot on Hood's helmet or vest. He doesn't smell sweet like gasoline or pungent like motor oil.
He was in the factory to help.
Something shifts. Batman is wrong. Batman is more wrong than he's ever been.
Because Hood's not the enemy here. Not anymore. Maybe not ever.
You push past Hood. "It'll be faster if we work together."
"Oh, absolutely not. You're not even in your suit."
"As per your request," you say, flashing a plastic smile. "You're welcome."
"Don't get cute with me, you—hey!"
You dart past him and go straight into the factory. Hood shouts your name, which makes you pause, just for a moment.
But revealed identity or not, you need to clear the building. So you pull on your mask and run faster.
Your worst fear is confirmed when you check the upper level: someone was missed in the evacuation. It's a worker, and she's unconscious.
You don't think about how explosions come in pairs in Gotham. Don't think about how long it'll take to get to the exit.
You take off your mask and slide it onto her face. The smoke burns your throat immediately, but you ignore it and lift her in a fireman carry, just as you were taught all those years ago by Robin. He's the one who taught you how to save people without relying on brute strength or height.
You hope he's alright, wherever he is. You hope he's not too upset seeing you rush into a burning building.
That's your last thought when you see the entrance. Your face is covered in sweat and grime. The heat from the fires is exhausting. You can feel your eyes beginning to close.
"There's something seriously wrong with you," a decoded voice says in your ear, and then the woman's weight is lifted from your shoulders.
Hood grabs your hand, the woman over his opposite shoulder, and you make it out just as the second explosion goes off. It knocks you forward.
Hood puts the woman down just in time to catch you. His arm is around your waist, the other hand cradling your head. His gloved thumb touches your mouth, and you feel his dawning realization as he finally sees your mask on the woman.
"Don't tell Ba'man," you slur.
"Jesus fuck—" Hood starts to drag you. You feel lightheaded. He's moving, and you wish he'd stop. "You don't take off your mask. You never take off your mask. We taught you that!"
"She was unconscious, J'y..."
Arms tighten around you. Everything goes dark.
****
You wake up to the smell of scrambling eggs.
For a moment, you just bask in the smell. It smells like Alfred's breakfast scramble. Bacon. Butter. Golden potatoes.
Then you wake up further and realize that you're not in the Manor. You're in your apartment.
So who's cooking?
You get up quietly, slipping out of your room. You pause in front of the full-length mirror.
Honestly, you've looked worse. Your hair needs a wash, and you're in the same clothes you went into the building with, which are now a little charred. But your face is clean of soot, and your throat hurts only a little.
The kitchen sink runs. You slowly creep out into the living room, keeping your breathing even and silent.
The mess of black hair, you recognize. Sort of. You might've mistaken him for Bruce if you didn't know that Bruce has a lifetime ban from kitchens all over the world.
He's too tall to be Dick. Too skilled in the kitchen to be Bruce. Too nice to be Bruce, too—you can't imagine Bruce Wayne making you eggs. Especially when you disobeyed his orders. Again.
The red helmet on the kitchen stool turns your blood to ice.
You grab the letter opener from a drawer and wait a few seconds to see if Hood's heard you. Then you throw the letter opener with near perfect aim at his exposed shoulder.
He catches it without turning.
Your heart skips a beat. Every time you think you might get the drop on him, Hood reminds you just how competent he really is.
A mix of fear, aggravation, and something you don't want to examine too closely swirls in your gut.
"Impressive," he says. "Dami been training you? Mama Al-Ghul spent a lot of time on his knife lessons."
"Why are you in my apartment?"
Hood sets the letter opener down on the counter and turns off the stove. Then he serves the breakfast scramble on two plates, then sprinkles chives over them.
This is the weirdest kidnapping ever.
He sighs, back still facing you.
"You can't tell anyone it's me," he says.
"You make a lot of demands for a guy who just used the last of my eggs."
Hood laughs. It sounds wet. It sounds like grief.
"God, I've missed ya, honeylove."
Your heart pounds. You try to find another weapon, anything. Hood doesn't give you the chance.
He turns around.
The first thing you see is the stark white streak of hair and the curls you once loved. The curls that were near unrecognizable in the casket.
You were right: Batman was wrong.
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angelltheninth · 9 months
Note
I'm a sucker for a good rivals who fuck trope. Can you write that with Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Chide, Dottore and Arlecchino?
A good trope and you have good taste in evil women. You have my respect Anon.
Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Childe, Dottore, Arlecchino x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, rivals to lovers, angry sex, hate sex, making out, rough sex, biting, marking
A/N: I don't get to write about Arlecchino often, unless its Arlebina content lol.
Kaeya hates having to work with you but it's part of his job so he'll tolerate it. Your only saving grace is that you're really nice to look at and banter with when he needs to let out some steam. He would never admit this but he loves it when you fire back at him, when you push against his orders and challenge him, when you refuse to call him Captain because you think you can do a better job. With that kind of attitude it's easy to see why you're such a fun time in bed, you refuse to be on your back for him, you refuse to admit his cock is better then anyone else's, so he has to prove it by making you have a nearly endless string of orgasms.
Diluc sees you every night on patrol and every night it's the same race to the crime scene, the banter and the bickering that only stops when you're fighting the bad guys or when you're pulling each other's pants and underwear off in a dark alleyway. You don't know each other's real names yet you both want to moan them as you ride his cock, your hands in his hair, daring him to slip up and reveal himself to you. Do you take him for an amateur who would give it all up for a cunt around his dick? Fuck you. No, he will fuck you, until you can't stand and you finally admit that he's the better hero, that's he's finally beaten you. Never mind the fact that in the thorns of your orgasm he thinks he almost hears his name, only to be met with a sharp pain from your teeth biting against his shoulder.
Itto loves getting on your nerves like no one else. One of his favorite things to do is to make you angry. Why? Because sex is so much fun that way. He will never walk up to you and kiss you, or tell you he wants to fuck, no he will do everything in his power to rile you up until you're fuming and then he will kindly offer to fuck that anger out. You know what he's doing, you've known for a long time but you can't resist that huge cock of his, or that shining smile if you were honest. Just when he thinks he's got you submitted to him, on your back for him you'll pull him down, ask him if that's all he's got? If you don't leave this fucking session marked up by him then he's starting to slip up. Him? Itto? Never. You want marks? He'll give them to you, all over your body.
Childe has been your rival for as long as you could remember being part of the Fatui. Since day one you've butted heads with him and his stubborn ways. It's like he's always looking for a fight, regardless if he can win it. You're more then happy to spar with him and teach him some humility. Although lately all your sparing sessions end up the same, with a bet, and the loser giving the winner what they want. It's always the same thing. Sex. Hot, dirty, rough sex to release the adrenaline of the earlier fight. Even the sex is a competition with him, who will come first, who will give who more orgasms, who will hold out the longest without moaning the other's name. It's all a competition, and you're both winners.
Dottore ignores you for the most part when he's not fucking you because quite frankly he doesn't think you're worth wasting his precious time on. He's so arrogant and acts so high and mighty that you can't help but shove all your research in his face. The only indicator that he thinks it's impressive is him fucking you after reading it. It's infuriating that you can never get him to admit when he's impressed by your own genius. But his cock is the next best thing, that and the angry kisses you pull him in every time he starts to monologue about how great his new discovery was while completely ignoring yours.
Arlecchino only talks to you if she needs you to do something for her. Otherwise she would be perfectly happy never seeing you. Yeah, she doesn't need you around if you're not useful. It's adorable that you think that you're more important then her. A lowrank like you. No matter what you achieve you'll only ever be good on your knees and you know it. See, this is why she doesn't like working with you, you're so confrontational when all she wants is some obedience. But she has her ways of making you submit. You're the whole reason why she's almost always packing that strap-on in her pants, you and that sweet pussy of yours, in need of showing it who is really in charge.
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avocado-writing · 3 months
Note
Okay, I've had this idea bouncing around in my head, waiting for you to reopen suggestions, haha. How do you think the Origins Companions + Halsin, Rolan, Dammon, and Zevlor would react if they found out that Tav had been hiding a very serious injury from them? The kind of injury where Tav is convinced that they're fine and they don't want to worry anyone with something they can handle on their own, especially the people they care most for, but as they try to ignore the injury it only gets worse until it's potentially life threatening and they can't keep up the facade anymore. I will leave it up to you whether or not Tav and the other individual are in a romantic relationship. I think both ways have potential for wonderful angst 😆
ooohhh noooooo! but also oh yes, LOVE this sort of angst lol. written as if you have had an infection come on from an injury. this is gonna be a long list so let's buckle up...
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Astarion
really tries to hide his panic but fails miserably.
can't help but start snapping - how could you keep something like this from him?
you try to give your excuses but he waves them away, angry, but mostly because he's terrified that he might have lost you.
if he has any healing potions he helps you take them, if he doesn't he immediately... sources some from somewhere.
holds you as tight as he dares, worried that he will aggravate the injury otherwise.
as you begin to heal and drift off to sleep he spends the whole night watching you rest, making sure that you're still breathing, still safe. doesn't mind when you cuddle up to him in the night, sleepily.
Gale
curses himself for not noticing your condition. he's a wizard, damn it! he's meant to be bloody perceptive.
wishes for the first time ever that he didn't just know wizard spells. wishes he knew how to heal, too.
makes you as comfortable as he can while he finds a book about what he can do for an infected wound, probably swallowing his pride and going to Shadowheart if it's bad enough.
you manage a weak, "Gale, you don't have to--", and he cuts you off, "if you're going to insist that I don't have to look after you, I'm telling you that I do."
fixes you something to help with the pain and infection, makes sure you drink it all despite the horrid taste, then tucks you into his bedroll to let you rest.
when you go to reach out and cuddle him he slips into your arms, presses his lips to your hair, and whispers as you fall asleep about how much you scared him. about how he'd never be able to lose you.
Lae'zel
only realises how unwell you are when you fall over mid-journey.
"tsk'va! why did you hide the extent of your injuries from me?"
hauls you onto her back and carries you back to camp, muttering about your foolishness the whole time.
makes you comfortable in her tent and uses her knowledge of githyanki medicine to help start healing you.
it isn't comfortable as she works on your infection but for the first time you feel her hands being soft rather than vicious.
"you should not have kept this from me." "I know. I'm sorry." "hm. ridiculous thing. zhak vo'n'fynh duj."
goes and intimidates the camp into being quiet so you can rest. it works. this is the nicest she's ever been to you. you could get used to it.
Shadowheart
obviously this is not a huge problem for her, but she is still worried that it got so far without her noticing.
immediately heals you, pouring far too many spell slots into your body in order to get it up and running again.
it helps, immediately breaking the fever you've been nursing, and the touch of Shadowheart's hand to your face is cooling and reassuring.
"lady shar teaches us to embrace our pain... but not like this. you should have known better. you could have died."
her hand slips down to cup your cheek, you cover it with one of your own. she's telling you off but you can tell it's because she cares.
"I'm sorry that I scared you." "I know. don't do it again."
she smiles and the ache in your heart is lifted, too.
Wyll
panics.
you collapse on day in camp and he immediately calls on the others for help, not so proud as to be unable to admit when something is out of his knowledge. he is not a healer. he needs help.
he manages to catch you in his arms as you tumble, hugging you close to his chest while magic is worked or a healer checks you over.
lets out a breath he didn't realise he was holding when you begin to stabilise.
helps you back to your tent to rest, gently chiding you but letting you know that he's glad you're alright.
when your hand weakly comes up to touch him, he indulges you in a kiss to let you know how relieved he is.
constantly watching you on the battlefield from that moment on. if he can help it, you'll never be hurt again.
Karlach
another panicker.
scoops you up in her arms and holds you to her chest, running to the tent of the nearest healer in camp - or, if you're in the city, kicking down the door of a local doctor.
begging the healer to check you over, but is reluctant to let you go. if she stops holding you it's like she's relinquishing control and that scares the life out of her.
you're healed and she feels you start to stir in her arms, peppering you with kisses of relief, choking through her tears that you're never to scare her like that again.
carries you back home, even if you're totally capable of walking. she just wants to make sure you're okay.
Halsin
sternly disappointed that you didn't tell him, but more annoyed that he didn't notice something was wrong himself. how could he not see how out of balance with nature you were?
squirrels you away to his tent to heal you, make you soothing and medicinal teas, his big hands over the source of the infection.
you burrow into his touch, into his chest, and you end up sitting in his lap as he heals you.
he wants to tell you off a little, but is more relieved that you're alright. encourages you to share all your burdens with him.
kisses you on the forehead, then on the mouth when he's sure you're strong enough for it not to knock you flat.
Dammon
my poor boy is just a blacksmith, so though he doesn't exactly panic, he does scoop you up and try to find a healer as soon as he can.
waits quietly and nervously as you are examined, silently cursing himself for being too busy to see how you were hurt. he's meant to be better than this. he's meant to love you, how didn't he notice?
when you come to he can't stop apologising, and it takes several of your kisses to soothe him and tell him it was not his fault but yours.
he makes you promise that you'll always tell him when you're hurt. has you look into his eyes and swear it.
he can't do much on the battlefield but he can protect you where he can.
Rolan
another one cursing that he doesn't know healing spells.
"you aren't meant to die, gods damn it! you're meant to be strong... what good am I if I can't keep you safe..."
rushes you to the best doctor in Baldur's Gate. pays for all the treatment that you could need. holds your hand at your bedside for your entire recovery... until you come back to consciousness, of course, at which point he just starts telling you off for being stupid enough to get into his mess in the first place.
you grab him by the collar and drag him down for a kiss. that finally shuts him up. but he never lets you forget how foolish you were.
Zevlor
practical but still worried about you.
you collapse in the field and he finds a safe place to hide the both of you from dangerous eyes, using his Lay on Hands ability to channel his magic into healing.
you try to apologise but a finger to your lips silences you, and all you can do is watch in quiet wonder as he burns the infection out with his Paladin's light.
when you're better he gently chides you. tells you that you have people relying on your leadership, and that a problem shared means there are more heads working on how to fix it.
when he sees how sorry you are lets you cuddle into him. when you say you'll repay him, he insists your happiness and well-being is enough for an old warrior like him.
does take the kiss you offer, though. he's been wanting to do that for a while...
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thebearer · 9 months
Note
PLEASEEEE write about carmy trying to put a baby in reader 🙏🙏🙏
minors dni 18+ also i'm doing two versions of this, this is just the first one since i had another ask for this lol
Carmen barely looked up, seeing you walk through the swinging doors back into the restaurant. Normally, he'd be worried that you were here, coming in unannounced before the dinner rush, his mind would race and tell him something was wrong. Today he knew better, he knew exactly why you were here.
"Hey, Sydney." Carmen muttered, scraping the prepped vegetables into the container, his eyes locking with yours. "I need you to cover for me, Chef."
"Ok..." Sydney muttered, looking from you and Carmen. "Are you good, Chef?"
"What? Yeah, no, yeah. I-I'm good. I just... Gotta order some stuff, and-and I just got a lot of office stuff I need to do." Carmen rambled, cheeks heating with each stammered word.
Sydney was suspect, especially with the way you were looking at each other, but she shrugged it off. "I got it, Chef." She nodded, checking off his prep on her clipboard.
"Good. Uh, if you need me just uh, knock and I'll come out." Carmen nodded, ignoring how her face contorted into disgust, practically sprinting to his office.
You were already waiting inside, dropping your purse on the couch, eyeing Carmen hungrily when he shut the door, twisting the lock behind him. "We don't have long." Carmen muttered, tearing off his apron.
"I don't need long." You hummed, pushing your shorts to the ground, letting them puddle around your ankles.
"You gotta be quiet, baby." Carmen looked at you, eyes glued on your puffy lips, drooling and teasing him when you bent over the couch, nose practically touching the wall.
"I can't promise that." You grinned, looking over your shoulder at him. "Hurry up, Berzatto. Before they need you. I need you."
Carmen snorted, palming himself through his boxers, shuffled steps over towards you with one last look over his shoulder. "I got ya, honey." He muttered, pulling himself out and stroking his length. "You sure this is supposed to work?"
"They said as much as possible when you're ovulating." You huffed, wiggling impatiently. You and Carmen had decided to try for a baby, ditching your birth control only last month. Truthfully, you were using the baby making as an excuse to fuck as much as possible, not that you needed much of one when you were ovulating.
"Never thought I'd hear you complain about having sex." You grinned.
Carmen snorted lightly, letting the head of his cock glide between your folds. "Not complaining." He muttered, teasing your entrance gently. "Never complain, baby."
You started to reply, a sharp, witty reply on the tip of your tongue, cut short by him sinking inside you, pushing into you with one long stroke, stretching you out for him. You gasped, pushing your head into your hands, hopeful to muffle the sound coming out of you.
Carmen's hand sunk into your waist, gripping the fat of your hip to bring you back to him, hips rocking slow and steady against yours, the sound of skin slapping skin one he hoped was muffled through the thick walls.
"Fuck, baby, you feel good. So fuckin' good." Carmen grunted lowly, fingers curling around your hip, jaw clenched to keep himself from groaning.
"Oh! That's the spot, Carm, fuck." You whined, back arching further at one particularly hard thrust, jamming that sweet spot inside of you that had your vision blurring, mind blanking in pleasure.
"Shh, be quiet, baby." Carmen hushed, leaning forward, one hand propped on the wall beside you. "Gotta be quiet. Can't let them- shit- can't let them know what we're doin'."
Carmen's hands curled around your waist, cradling your lower belly, feeling the way it flexed when you clenched around him. He could see it, see you all swollen and big with the baby- his baby. The baby he put inside you. It made Carmen's teeth grit, fucking you harder and harder with a new found vigor, a free hand covering your mouth to muffle your cries.
"Can't let them know I'm fuckin' a baby into you." Carmen rasped, hot breath tickling your ear, leaving you shivering. "Gonna put a baby right in here, hm? That's what you want right?"
"Yes." You whined, tears pricking your eyes. He was making you feel so good.
"You want a baby? Want me to give you a baby, huh?" Carmen growled, his hips snapping further and further, pinning you against the couch.
"Please, Carm. Please gimme a baby." You cried, letting your head fall back against his.
"Since you asked so nicely." Carmen smirked, hips snapping up into yours. "Shit, I- you close? You close, baby?"
You nodded, reaching to move his hand, pushing it further until it was cupping your mound. Carmen got the hint, pinching and rolling your clit until you were gasping and writhing in pleasure, his free hand cupping your mouth while his thrusts got sloppier around you.
Carmen pulled you back, pressing on your spine so you were face first into the couch, ass up and high for him while he pounded into you, chest pressed to your spine, until he was spilling inside of you. Pressed so he was flush to your ass, Carmen emptied his load, hot and filling deep inside of you.
"Hang on, hold on," Carmen muttered when you started to move, hands pressing softly to your side. "I didn't... Fuck, we didn't think this one through. You gotta put your legs up, right?"
You nodded, eyes still glossy, skin still flushed and glowing. Carmen snatched the pillow from the other side, setting it in front of you. "Ok, I'm gonna pull out, and I'm gonna catch it, ok? You just, you lay down. Hips on the pillow."
Carmen pulled out slow, pointer and middle finger catching any dribbling release, pushing them back inside you. You whimpered at the sensation, still sensitive, while you moved to lie on the pillow, his fingers still inside you, propping your legs up on the edge of the couch.
"Shit, I forgot a towel. Fuck, let me just, uh, let me go grab one-"
"-'s alright, Carmen." You hummed, looking at him through fluttering lashes that made his heart skip. "I'll just keep it in. The longer the better."
Carmen tried not to gawk, but he knew he was given away by the rise in his cheeks, heat flushing his skin. His groin ached, a dull throb that had him twitching with heat at the idea. "O-Ok." Carmen muttered, pulling his pants up fastening his jeans.
"Let me grab your clothes, baby, I'll put them on for you." Carmen muttered sweetly, gently putting your panties and shorts on, trying to keep your body as still as possible.
Later, the two of you were walking hand in hand into family, giggly and touchy- you could feel him leaking out of you with every step. It made your tummy trill with heat.
"This smells good." You grinned, eyes batting up at Carmen.
"Yeah? I'll get you a plate. Don't worry 'bout it." Carmen muttered, nodding towards a seat for you.
The room had stilled, eyes on the two of you, suspicious and a little questioning. Carmen looked around, blue eyes darting furiously.
"Oh no fuckin' way." Richie cackled, breaking the silence in the room. "Cousin, no way-"
"What? What are you-"
"-Look at you! Both of you!" Richie leaned back, clapping his hands in laughter. "You're sick, cousin. Sick!"
You blushed, the snickers from Fak and Sweeps, the knowing glances from the others. Carmen blushed furiously, glaring at Richie fiercely. Tina smirked, shrugging when she looked at you.
"I'm sure this building's seen worse with Mikey." She muttered.
"That obvious?" You mumbled, looking around the room, shrinking into your seat.
"A little. You got the glow, honey. At least that's a good thing." Tina grinned, nudging you gently.
When you announced your pregnancy three months later, the entire staff swore baby Berzatto was conceived in the office. "Right there, on that fuckin' couch, cousin!"
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justagirlwholikesadam · 3 months
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Queen Bee
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Remus Lupin x Fem! Malfoy! Reader x Sirius Black
Summary: Remus and Sirius have a third in their relationship which is kept in secret due to their older brother, Lucius Malfoy and because they are a Slytherin.
A/N: I know that the fandom of Harry Potter have a fancast on these two as younger version but i just love the actors who played the older version, so I'm thinking abt them while writing this. By the way, I haven’t read the books so if something doesn’t make sense or things are out of order. Just ignore it or stop reading. :) Enjoy - L || Border Credit: @cafekitsune
Warning: SFW, NSFW, threesome, reader got white hair, we are Targaryens for a min lol, cum kisses, creampie, talks about life after school, we taking them both, queen bee, everyone is in love, bullying, fighting back. bad childhood, abusive parents
Word Count: 6.5K
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Euphoric, that's what he's been feeling since he met you well since they met you. He knows that his feelings for you are a mutual thing with Sirius. 
Sirius and Remus were both infatuated and hopelessly in love with you. They laid together at night and they whispered to each other about you as they shared kisses, they spoke about how they were fortunate enough to have a third like you. Someone kind, someone who loves them for them. They talked about the way you smile, the way you speak when excited about something. They talked about your voice and your moans. The taste of your skin, your lips and your cunt. They were whipped for you just as they are with each other. 
This relationship was kept in secret just like Remus and Sirius’ relationship was under wraps. Everyone saw them as very close best friends, almost like brothers. They knew people would be uneasy with two men in a relationship but a throuple with a girl will scare people off. People will think it's unethical especially since they are both from House Gryffindor and you’re from House Slytherin as well you are Lucius Malfoy’s younger sister. The saying goes that anyone from House Slytherin is evil and conniving but you weren’t. You had made a difference in their life. It’s been a year and a half since they met you officially. What a year and half it has been, filled with laughter, with love, and lots of experimenting. They were finally in their last year in Hogwarts and they couldn’t be more happy. They spoke about their plans after school. Remus’ family cottage is perfect for three people. 
Currently Remus is in bed with you, he’s laying on his back with your head on his chest. He rubs your back with one hand while the other hand is being trapped with your own. It was something you did since the first time you laid with him. You touched his hands, his slender and long fingers, you played with them, kissed them and even sucked on them. You would trace the light scars on his knuckles sometimes. 
“I dream about your hands, Rem.” He hears you and can’t help but smile before kissing the top of your head. 
“Sometimes I think you’re with me just for my hands.” He says and his smile grows wider when you do a dramatic gasp like one of those cheesy muggle soap operas. 
You climb on top of him, sitting on his lap. His hands are pushing the uniform skirt up to your hips, his hands rub up and down on your bare thighs. You begin to loosen the red tie around his neck as you move your hips. Remus lets out a whine when you push against his crotch. 
“That’s not the only thing.” You tell him as you lean down close to his face. 
“I dream about your eyes, they are so pretty. I dream about your nose.” You said kissing the side of his nose. 
“This pretty fucking face.” You whispered, making him blush as you kissed the scars on his face. 
“Y-” “Hush I’m not done.” You cut him off, Remus has always been insecure about his face. It took him lots of convincing to accept that you found him attractive even with his scars especially when you found out about his condition. Remus didn't believe someone like you could find him hot. Some days he still had doubts about Sirius finding him attractive. There was always a solution when Remus grew insecure, it would end up, him tied up on the bed with Sirius laying one side while you laid on the other. Both of you would kiss every inch of his body until Remus grows red in the face and accept the fact that both of you find him attractive.
Remus noticed you first because of your hair, people know that white platinum hair from anywhere. It was the signature look of the Malfoy family. Your hair was long and looked so silky, he wanted to touch it at first glance. He even had caught Sirius looking at it and when you passed them, they both stared at you. Lucius had become like a bodyguard when you first came to Hogwarts, walking with you and dropping you off to your classes. Since he was always with you everywhere it was hard for anyone aka guys to talk to you because of your brother. You were oblivious to the guys in the school, you didn't pay attention to them as you sat next to Lucius during meals or in the library. It didn’t help as the years passed and you became top of your classes as well. You were very popular. You were always surrounded by your group of Slytherin friends.  
Students in Hogwarts have started calling you Queen Bee because of the status of your family and because of how well you did in school but with a nickname like that, people thought the worst of you. Sirius and Remus were nervous to speak with you because of it. That was until they saw you defending a first year Gryffindor from a Slytherin, an older boy from your house. You weren't afraid to speak your mind especially to bullies and when it came down to defend the younger students. Let’s just say, you weren't afraid to fight a bitch. 
When Lucius entered his last year, he stepped down from being your bodyguard when he noticed you settled down well. You knew where your classes were and had made friends and when he graduated Sirius and Remus knew it was their time to strike when they saw you for the first time alone in the library. Sirius had kissed Remus on the lips behind the bookshelves and mumbled good luck to him. Nervously, Remus ran his fingers through his hair, trying to look presentable for you and walked towards you. They have spoken about how to approach you, they noticed that you had a love for books, so Sirius told Remus to step in. Sirius waits for Remus to give him a signal for him to join. Sirius can’t help but feel giddy inside when he sees you smiling at Remus. 
“This face is the face I’m happy to sit on.” Remus laughs as you kiss his cheeks then a peck on his lips. 
“And these lips.” You pulled his bottom lip with your thumb. 
Remus stares up at you with hooded eyes and his heart is bursting with all the love you are giving him. “If there was a spell that allowed me to kiss these lips all the time. I would do anything. Give anything up.” 
“Fuck.” Remus breathes out before cupping your face with his hands pulling you in for a kiss. Remus’ kisses are desperate and passionate. He had a way that left you breathless after every kiss. He told you he did it because what if it's the last time he ever got to kiss you. Remus was such a hopeless romantic. 
“Should we wait for our Sirius?” You whispered to him. You gasped when Remus tugged you down on his lap, feeling his hard cock. 
“A good boyfriend and girlfriend would say yes but I can't help it. You make me go crazy.” 
“You make me go crazy too.” You tell him as you stare down at the Gryffindor boy. 
“Both of you do. Sometimes I feel like magic was done to me. A spell was cast on me because every time I see Sirius and you. I’m this-.” You grabbed a hand from your thigh and bought it towards your cunt. Remus feels a growl growing in his chest when his fingers touch your crotch, the fabric of your panties is moist and he can feel your heat. 
“Wet.” You said as you feel Remus rub your clit through the fabric. Remus moans your name as he stares up at you, his hand between your legs touching that cunt he loves so much. 
“Should we..” You mumble as you look over at the door of the bedroom. Sirius still hasn't arrived yet and your cunt is throbbing and drooling for attention. Both of you have told him what time to arrive. 
“Our Sirius won’t mind.” Remus said, pulling his hand out and sticking his long digit in his mouth, moaning as he sucked the tip of his index finger clean. Releasing his finger with a pop, you give him a smile as you lean down close to his face to kiss him. He holds your body close to him as he opens his mouth. You can’t help but moan his name when you pull away. 
“Please fuck me. Please.” Remus can't help but whine at your moans. 
How can he say no to you? Such a pretty thing with her cunt dripping wet for him. Having sex with Remus was different from Sirius. While Sirius was spontaneous, rough and hard. Remus was slow and passionate. You loved it both. 
He gets impatient and turns you around. He’s between your legs now, your legs are spread and he’s pulling his tie along with his shirt, throwing them out over his shoulder with his sweater. You try your best to be quick but Remus’ hands are already working on the buttons of your sweater. You can’t help but laugh at how focused he is getting you naked. Few seconds later, your sweater is off, your green tie is gone, and your white button down shirt is off. Helping him remove your bra, he leans down to kiss your chest. He kisses you once more as his hands unbutton your skirt. He whines when he sees the black underwear. 
“Remus.” You said his name softly. He looks at your face for a moment before leaning down. He presses gentle kisses on the side of your face. 
Remus takes his time, his sweet time with you. You're mewling at him, clawing on his back when he finally has his fill kissing your neck. He licks your nipples, flicking the hard nub before biting it gently, making you moan. His hands make their way to your hips, peeling your underwear off, you help, pulling your knees to your chest. He throws them to the floor not caring where it landed. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Remus leans down to kiss you. Remus knows spending time with you was limited. Both being from different houses, there wasn’t much free time and especially since its the last year. Sirius and Remus didn’t get to see you often. They were touched whenever you made time to see them. Bailing on your plans with your friends just so you can spend time with them. Spending break at school just so the three of you can spend time together was cherished. They were even more touched when you came to them the night before every full moon to give Remus Wolfsbane and told them it took you all day to brew it. 
“Remus.” You whispered as you felt his cock pushed against your cunt. He looks down at you, waiting for you to speak. 
“I love you.” You confessed to him, moving his sandy brown hair out of his face. You cup his cheek, feeling his scars under your touch. 
“Really?” He whispered looking at you, waiting for you to take it back. You nod at him as his eyes grow wide and he gives you a smile. 
“I love you.” He says it back. Remus leans down to kiss you, pouring everything he had into you, his tongue slips into your mouth and you welcome him. 
“I need you now.” You begged against his lips as your hand touched him. He groans when you start to jerk him off, his long fingers start to tease your clit making you jerk him even faster. 
“At least let me eat you first.” You shake your head. “I need you now!” You said pouting your lips at him as you released him. Remus huffs and leans down, your legs wrap around his waist, you whine as he presses his cock against you. He stares at you when you take a sharp breath in when he slides into you. 
Remus moans your name when you clench around his girth tightly. Your hands made their way to his face, you kissed him as he nuzzled close to you. Pulling his cock back softly he hears you whine and tell him inside. 
“You're just so greedy today.” He says in a playfully tone before moaning your name. He hears you giggle and thrust back in harshly making you moan. 
“I can't help it, Moony.” You whisper looking up at him. “Can't help myself with you.” 
There's a twinkle in his eyes for a second as he stares down at you.
Sirius is quiet when he makes it up the stairs. He was finally able to leave James and Lily after she had calmed down. Sirius had run up the stairs, skipping a few steps on the way up. He missed his girl and his man. He has been thinking about it all day, he had even been yelled at by a professor for looking at Remus as he thought about today. Remus just raised a brow at him, in a way asking him if he's alright. 
No! Sirius wasn't alright, he was just caught daydreaming about his pretty boyfriend and his pretty girlfriend about all the nasty things they were going to do during lunch period. He gave a half ass apology to the professor while trying to pull the front of his sweater further down to his lap to cover his hard on. Waving his wand at the door of the dormitory bedroom, he softly opened it when he heard moaning. He grins at the sound of skin slapping and harsh moans. He feels proud of Remus when he hears you shout Remus’ name with profanity. 
“Fuck! Just like that baby. Remus!” Sirius’ pierced ears are ringing now from your moans. He can hear the bed frame banging against the wall. Remus’ bed is the first, anyone can see when opening the door. Sirius was glad because of this. He's leaning against the door frame with a look, his eyes filled with lust and awed. 
How he wished he could take a picture of you both. 
He admires Remus’ back, his skin is fair and marked with freckles along with scars. Sirius can see the pink scratches marks down Remus’s back, no doubt in his mind that they were from you. He hears Remus moans as he pulls your leg up to his shoulder. Sirius rubs his bottom lip with his thumb as he watches you take the pounding from Remus. 
Sirius begins to pull his belt off as he walks in to shut the door softly not wanting to disturb. He doesn't want to disturbed since he knows you're close. Remus had his hand around your neck as you rubbed your clit quickly. Remus isn't far behind, he's looking at you like you have hung the sun and moon just for him. Remus throws his head back when he feels you cumming. Remus whimpers your name, he gets closer, he's going to blow. Remus feels the bed dipped behind him. He feels a pair of lips against his shoulder, he doesn't fret. Is it even possible to know who the person is just by their lips? Remus knows, it's Sirius. 
“Cum baby.” Sirius whispers to him before biting on his shoulder as his hands roam around Remus’ body. You look up to see Sirius behind Remus, lifting your legs up, pulling it close to your chest as you whine at Remus’ slow and deep thrusts. You stared at them both as Remus was getting closer, Sirius gives you a wink when he brushes Remus’ ass with his hand and cups his balls from behind, Remus moans shamelessly as Sirius gently squeezes it giving him that push he needed to cum. 
Sirius holds his boyfriend when he cums. “Such a good boy, is that right, love?” Sirius asks you, looking over at you with a smile. 
You nod before looking at Remus. “Yes, our Remus is a good boy!” You used all the energy you had left to shout, making them laugh. Remus looks over at Sirius, he pecks his lips before Sirius hugs him from behind. 
“Fuckkk!” Sirius and Remus said simultaneously as they looked down when he slid his cock out of you. Your pussy lips are parted, they can see Remus’ thick cum dripping out of you after you move a bit. Remus bites his bottom lip as he uses the tip of his cock to scoop up some of the cum and rub it over your clit. Remus curses under his breath at the lovely sight. You're extra sensitive and Sirius can't help himself, he reaches his hand out, rubbing your clit with his thumb. 
“Sirius.” You moan trying to shut your legs but Remus stops you, placing a hand on your knee to keep them wide open for Sirius.
Sirius tells himself to relax, not wanting to push his boyfriend out of his way to taste his girlfriend’s cunt. You say his name again and Remus glances over at him when Sirius plays with the soft curls on your mound. 
“He’s thirsty.” Remus says to you with a grin. 
“So parched.” Sirius adds, bringing his index finger up and down your slit, he slides it in making you cry out when you feel one of his cold silver rings inside of your pussy. 
“Not tired?” Sirius asks you. You shake your head, you wanted him too. Sirius feels Remus lean against him, his gray eyes looking down at Remus’ half hardened cock. No one was tired yet, Sirius pulled away from you and brought his finger to Remus’ lips. Remus doesn't need to be told, he sucks Sirius’ finger, gently biting the tip of his finger with his teeth. 
“Give me a taste.” Sirius tells him. There wasn't anything hotter than watching them kiss. You have seen them kiss, fuck, snuggle. Everything they did was perfect in your eyes. Your pussy clenched around the nothingness when you saw Sirius slip his tongue in Remus’ mouth. Remus had cupped Sirius by the cheek pulling him further into the kiss while your fingers were in you, you bit your lip from crying out when you fingered yourself you didn't want them to stop not when Remus had moaned in Sirius mouth. Remus had his fingers in Sirius’ dark curls. 
Sirius pulls away to breathe as Remus’ lips attack his neck. Sirius looks down at you with bruised lips. Sirius moans your name when he sees you. His hand rubs your leg as he rolls his eyes when Remus licks his neck. 
“Both of you smell so good.” Remus says, Sirius smiles up at him kissing the tip of his nose before pulling him down to lay with you. 
“Hello.” Sirius whispered to you when he laid next to you. Remus laid on the other side, his lips were like magnets on your skin. He starts to kiss your bare arm while Sirius kisses you. 
Sirius kisses you, pulling you closer to him. He notices the marking on your shoulders. 
“Moony, what have you done to our girl?” Sirius asks as you nibble on his bottom lip. 
“Had us waiting for you, Si. Remus and I had to occupy ourselves.” Remus looks over your shoulder at Sirius. 
“Let’s show our Sirius how we occupy ourselves.” Remus said, making you grin as you roll on top of Sirius, pushing him down under you. 
Remus takes a deep breath as he looks over at Sirius and you. You're naked on him, pulling his tie and sweater off. Sirius keeps getting pushed down so you can remove his shirt. 
“Sirius! Let me tak-” Your words turned into fits of giggles when Sirius wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you down as he went between your legs. He’s quick to get off the bed to get himself naked. He rushes and throws the clothes over his shoulders, not caring where it went. Two pairs of eyes stare at Sirius’ body, he's lean and fit thanks from the years of playing Quidditch. His arms were toned, they flexed when he threw his trousers over.  
The cocky and confident Sirius Black blushes under Remus and your gaze, staring at him like he was the last cookie in the bakery. His nipples grew hard when he saw Remus touching himself, Sirius looked over at you and you grin when you lean over Remus’ lap. 
Remus moans your name softly, moving your hair to the side when you lick the tip of his cock. You moan loudly, still staring at Sirius as you kiss Remus’ shaft. 
“Naughty girl.” Sirius said, crawling to Remus’ lap on the other side of the bed. “Greedy aren't you?” Sirius whispers to you, giving you a kiss on the lips before licking the other side of Remus’ shaft. 
“Fuckk.” Remus cries as he watches Sirius and you licking his cock up. 
“Yes, I am.” You answered Sirius as you reached for his cock. Sirius moans with Remus’s cock in his mouth when you jerk him off. Remus grabs a hold of Sirius’ dark curls, holding him in place as he starts to thrust upwards in his warm mouth. 
“Pads! Please.” Remus begs, pleads for him to make him cum. You can hear Remus is close, you push yourself up and watch Sirius gag on Remus’ length. You crawl up to Remus, sitting next to him, rubbing his chest as you watch the show. Sirius’ cheeks are sunken in, his hands holding on to Remus’ thighs. 
Leaning over to kiss Remus, you held his face. 
“Cum down his throat.” You repeat it softly to him, edging him while kissing his neck. Nibbling on it as Remus blows his load down Sirius’s throat. 
He chokes when he pulls away from Remus' cock, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sees a flash of white, it’s your hair. Looking up, he sees you staring at him with Remus. Sirius crawls to you both. You welcome that cummy kiss with pleasure. He leaves you out of breath and leans at Remus for a kiss. Remus, like you, enjoys the kiss not caring he was tasting his own cum. The three of you have shared each other, all three have come to love it. You look up at him, hands running up and down his stomach, you licked your lips at him. His chin and small beard he was trying to grow was damp. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide and the corners of his mouth turned up. 
“Come over here, mon coeur.” Sirius says turning you over on your hands and knees.
Remus took a deep breath as he watches Sirius fucking you. You look so fucking pretty on your hands and knee. Sirius is pulling your hair as you hold the sheets under you. Sirius praises you as he holds your hip with one hand and the other in your hair pulling your head back. Remus shakes his head trying not to get hard again, it's difficult especially when you're loving being treated like that. You beg Sirius to fuck you harder, calling him Padfoot makes him go faster and you're holding on for dear life on Remus’ pillow. Your breasts bouncing every time he thrust from behind frantically. 
Remus can see your eyes roll into the back of your head when Sirius lets your hair go and grabs your hips with both hands, you can't hold yourself up. Chest to the mattress and ass in the air, you took everything he gave you. Your movement changed the angles he was thrusting, it made Sirius moan loudly. The tip of his fat cock hits that sweet spot in you every time. You call Sirius name when you cum on his cock, he feels it. He keeps thrusting into your dripping pussy, your slick is dripping down the sheets on Remus’ bed. Sirius holds you tight as he comes, he looks over at Remus who was enjoying the show. His hands under his head, he had a leg over the other as he watched. 
“That was hot, Padfoot and Cariad.” Remus looks down at you as you shut your eyes enjoying the pleasure you had just endured. Sirius is gentle with you when he pulls out, all he wants to do is slip inside of your warm cunt. He sees, you are trying to catch your breath. He rubs your bare back, gently scratches it, making goosebumps raise up on your skin. Sirius drops down next to you, his hand never leaving your body. He feels Remus move closer to you too. Sirius lays on his back, with one hand he moves the sweaty strands of his hair out of his face as he stares up at the ceiling. He listens to Remus talk to you in whispers. After a minute, Remus gets up to the bathroom. Sirius looks over at you to see you laying down on your back as well. 
Sirius does not hesitate to bring a hand on your cheek, cupping it warmly, He rubs your cheek with his thumb. 
“Moony, getting you water?” Sirius asks you. Nodding to him, he leans over to grab Remus' wand from the night stand. Without a word, the blanket on his bed across the room flew over. Remus walks back to the bed with a glass of water in his hand. The blanket passes him and covers you completely. 
“Thank you, Si.” You said softly to him. Sirius just nods and watches you sit up grabbing the water from Remus. 
“Thank you.” Remus nods at you as you give him back a half empty cup. Sirius shakes his head at Remus who offers him some.
“I missed this.” You said after a while Remus laid down next to you. 
“The fucking?” Sirius asks and you roll your eyes at him playfully. 
“No, the fucking is nice but I meant laying together in one bed.” You told them feeling Remus’ hand on your leg. 
“Haven't done it in a while.” Remus comments agreeing with you. Everyone has been busy, since it's their last year. 
“After this year, we will do this more. Spending time together, sleeping in the same bed. Right?” Sirius asks you since he knows what Remus will say. They had spoken about this with you. They wanted you to stay with them in Remus’ family cottage after school. You looked over at Sirius and nodded at him. 
“Yes, after school. Just us.” You told him then looked up at the ceiling. Leaving your family wouldn't be difficult. You didn’t accept their pure-blood ways. You didn't give a damn about it, you started to fight with them about the subject especially since one of the men you love is a half-blood. You would miss Lucius that was for sure even if your brother was a bit supercilious. He had saved you under the hands of your condescending parents. The smacks that were about to be given to you, he would take them instead when he was around. Lucius would understand why you left. He has too, once he sees his little sister happy, truly happy. He will understand. You long to be with Remus and Sirius in that cottage. You smile up at the ceiling when you feel Sirius and Remus lean their head against your shoulders. 
Enjoying their embrace and their warmth, reality hits back. Reality of going back to your dorm, going back to class, going back to pretending that you didn't know them. It was your doing, Remus and Sirius wanted everyone to know but you and Sirius knew that being from a pure-blood wizarding family that supports who shall not be named have many advantages of getting rid of people, it took time for Remus to process it. 
“If something bad were to happen to you because of me?” You told Remus who was in tears that you had rejected the idea of telling people about the three of you. 
“I would kill myself. I’ll do it after killing them.” You admitted to him and Remus and Sirius saw that fiery look in your eyes. You weren't bluffing. 
“Oh baby, if they hurt you or even Sirius.” You whispered to Remus. “I’ll burn that fucking manor to the ground.” 
Remus understood at the end. He did, he understood it was for his safety and after what Sirius told him about children suffering under their parent’s hands who were pure-bloods. Remus played the part and once in a while he would find himself staring at you as you passed him by the corridor. Usually Peter and Frank will drag him out of his trance. They will tease him wanting to know who had caught the eyes of Remus Lupin. Remus bites his tongue to not say your name. 
“Why were you so late, Si?” You asked Sirius after a few moments of silence. Sirius had turned to his side, with a hand under his head, holding it up. He used the other hand to draw random shapes on the bare skin of your hip.
“James was trying to comfort Lily. She’s been getting bullied by a couple of Ravenclaws lately. The bullying has gotten worse since she became head girl. They were calling her a mudblood. She’s still not used to that name.” You roll your eyes at that term, such a ugly word. 
You listened as Sirius continued to explain how James asked him to stay with him for a little while until they tried to calm Lily down from her sobbing. You didn’t say anything as you felt Remus grabbed your arm draping it over his body. He kissed your hand as Sirius kept talking. Sirius' fingers started to play with the ends of your hairs, twirling the white platinum hair around his finger. You noticed the worried look on Remus and Sirius’ face. You didn't like seeing your boyfriends like this but those were one of the many things you loved about them. They loved their friends so much. 
“What are their names?” You asked Sirius. He hums while he thinks. “James only said the main one was Cassie. That's the leader.” 
“I hope Lily feels better.” You said then looked over at the small clock Remus had in the night stand by the bed. 
“Fuck! My last class will start soon.” You exclaimed as you pushed the blanket off your body and jumped out of the bed. 
“I didn’t get to spend time with you though!” Sirius pouts with a groan as Remus pushes himself up to sit. Remus leans down to grab his boxers while you grab your bra. 
“Next time, let's use magic to take off our clothes away and have it neatly folded in one place.” You told them as you found your underwear near a case with James Potter's name written on it. 
“That's no fun.” Sirius said as he and Remus stared at your bare ass while you bent down to pick up your socks. 
You just shake your head as you sit on the edge of the bed. You hear Remus call your name, looking over he has your sweater and skirt in one hand. 
“Oh, thank you.” You tell him as he makes you stand between his legs and buttons your skirt for you. Sirius grabbed your white button up shirt near him off the floor when he saw you walking to the other side of the room for your tie. 
“Thanks.” You mumbled kissing Sirius’ on the cheek. “You can always skip it. More time we can spend together.” Sirius said as he watched you get dressed. 
“Soon you will. Don’t worry.” You fixed your skirt as you walked over towards the pouting man and kissed him on the lips. Sirius moaned in your mouth as you deepened the kiss. You gave him one last kiss to get him through the day. Pulling away, Sirius tries to go back for another kiss but you shake your head fixing the collar of your shirt. 
“I love you.” You tell Sirius and his eyes grow large for a second and a coy smile appears on his handsome face. 
“You can't leave this room now. Say it again.” Sirius said, making you laugh but you repeat it. You say you love him and he kisses you before saying back to you.  
“It’s getting late. If I get another tardiness, my parents will have my ass.” You sighed walking away from Sirius to the bed where you saw your shoes. Remus grabs your bag from the floor. 
“You don’t love me anymore, mon coeur.” Sirius dramatically said as he plopped himself back on the bed like a starfish. Remus walks with you to the door. 
“See you later.” He says as he fixes your tie before leaning down to give you a goodbye kiss. You can see Remus was trying to say something. You tilt your chin upwards looking at him for a second.
“I love you.” Remus says softly as he leans against the door frame. You smile at him, he is just the cutest. 
“I love you too.” You said going up to your tiptoes to kiss him. Remus watches you hurry down the stairs with a smile on his face.  
“She said it.” Remus shuts the door when he hears Sirius. Looking back, he sees Sirius smiling wide as he stares up at the ceiling. 
“She did.” Remus said feeling happy inside. Sirius props himself up on his elbows and looks at Remus.  
“I love you, Moony.” Sirius says, as Remus walk over towards him. Sirius lays back down on the bed with Remus over him. Remus cages Sirius' head with his arms, Sirius welcomes his weight over him. Wrapping his arms around his waist, Remus leans down and stops just a few centimeters away from Sirius’ lips. 
“I love you too, Padfoot.” 
“Kiss me.” Sirius whispers to Remus. 
It was morning and they were in the great hall for breakfast. James was next to Lily who was still quiet after yesterday's events. Remus and Sirius shared a concerned look before trying to get her to talk, asking her about a muggle book she was reading a week ago. While Peter sat near Sirius, he munched on his bacon and eggs. The table didn’t notice three girls walking towards them. 
“Look what we have here girls, the little mudblood.” Lily looked down at her plate when the voice came behind her. 
“Why don’t you fuck off, Cassie.” James said, defending his girlfriend. He stared daggers at the Ravenclaw girl as he stood up from his seat. The brunette rolled her eyes at James and ignored him before leaning down close to Lily while her two other friends stayed behind. 
“Can't fight your own battle. You fucking filthy mud-.” Cassie never got to finish her sentence, Lily flinched when all of sudden the girl over her shoulder was pushed down on the Gryffindor’s table. Her head banged on the table, making everyone jump. 
“Oh shit.” Peter yelled as Sirius and Remus looked at you with wide eyes as you pushed the Cassie's head down on the table. Making her yelp in pain, you grabbed one of her arms twisting behind her back as you continued to push her head against the table. 
“You like calling people by that name?! Say it again I dare you.” You hissed, grabbing a fist full of hair and banging her head again on the table making the plates and cups jump up. 
"Say it again!" You jeer at Cassie. Remus looks over when he remembers Cassie wasn't alone, about to get up from his seat in case, Cassie's friends fight you but he sat back down when he saw a bunch of Slytherin’s girls surrounding them, trapping the two girls. He had seen a few of them before hanging out with you; he knew they were your friends. Sirius noticed a group of students from House Slytherin near the teacher's table speaking to them. One had even looked over their shoulder before quickly drawing the teacher’s attention back to them and it hits Sirius like a ton of bricks, this whole thing was planned. If anyone was staring at him, they could see his pupils tuning into hearts when he looked back at you. 
“Wait! Wai-” Lily stood up from her seat when Cassie cried out. James was quick to pull Lily close to him, taking a step back to see how this would unfold. 
Hushing Cassie, you freed her arm and pressed the tip of your wand against her cheek as you continued to hold her head down. There was a group forming around the table as they watched you. 
“Bother her again and I’ll make your life a living hell. I swear it.” You sneered at her as you banged her head again before freeing her when she yelled okay. You took a step back when Cassie slumped down to the floor. You rolled your eyes at the sight of her on the ground then looked up to see the redhead who was still being held by James. 
Lily is filled with shocked and is fucking nervous. She knows who you are, she speaks to you with a shaky tone. “Thank you.” 
You can feel your boyfriends’ eyes staring at you as you tilted your head at Lily getting a good look at the girl after she thanked you. She looked like a sweet girl and you can see why your boyfriends care about her. You wanted to laugh as she looked at you like you were her knight and shining armor but didn’t. Casting one last dirty look at Cassie below you looked at Lily. 
“Let me know if anyone else bothers you.” You tell her then look down at Lily’s plate on the table. Remus swears he sees you peeking at him through your lashes as you grabbed a piece of bacon from her plate. Without a single word you turn around, taking a bite of the bacon. The other students standing around didn't have to be told to move, the moment they saw you walking, they parted like the red sea for you to pass. Remus and Sirius watched you walk out of the great hall with your friends following behind you. 
“Fuck! Lily, how did you manage to get protection from a Slytherin?” James asked as he watched Cassie being helped up from her friends. 
“Not just any Slytherin. Merlin! You got help from the Queen Bee.” Alice commented before turning back to her plate. 
“I don’t know how. I had never spoken to her. I’m surprised she would even help me, a muggle-born like me.” Lily said as she sat back down to finish the rest of her breakfast.  
“You think she knows who we are?” Peter asked around the table. James shrugs his shoulders at his friend but couldn’t help but smile when Lily started talking again. 
Remus and Sirius shared a look once more before they went back to their breakfast not answering Peter. They didn’t ask for you to do anything for their dear friend, Lily. Their hearts did a flip in their chest of your selfless act. Remus is counting the days for this year to be over so all three of you can be together. Sirius is asking Alice for some parchment paper to write you a note. Sirius and Remus had to see you now, he is already making up excuses to tell Professor McGonagall on why they won't be going to class. 
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