#ignore that ryan looks kinda fucked

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Being in a relationship with Kure Raian...

You’d think that Raian, although he’s the black sheep of the clan, would be as obsessed over strong people and fighting as everyone else is - Just like Karla is obsessed over Ohma not because she likes him, but because he’s strong and could produce strong offsprings and whatever - But Raian isn’t that way. 

In fact, even if people like that catch his eye, he would fight the urge to march up to them and strike up a conversation - Rather, if he does find strong people, he might just beat them up.

But there is something that would make Raian all hot and bothered - And that is getting ignored.

Yeah, that’s right.

Raian would literally spontaneously combust if he wants someone’s attention, and he’s getting blatantly ignored or brushed off.

That’s exactly what happened when his younger sister, Fusui, brought over one of her friends. At first, he didn’t care. You were just some pretty face, like many, many others he’s seen... But somehow, your aloof personality and the resting bitch face you were sporting, a complete opposite aura from Fusui, who held the most cheerful grin on her face - Okay, he was intrigued. Not only that, but from what his sister said, you were just a normal person - A cute, little rabbit in a den of lions - Yet you seemed completely at ease and unafraid.

In an instant, Raian found himself towering his large shadow over the spot on the grass where the two girls were having a picnic. He had that psycho grin of his ever present. Fusui greeted him cheerfully, though she sweatdropped, realising that he might be so bored that he wants to scare her friend away. 

Y/N simply gave him a lazy wave of her hand - Her attention was still on Fusui, and she didn’t once break the flow of their conversation. He frowned. Not even a hello? How rude!

Raian’s voice became louder, but also grittier, like the sound of nails scratching a blackboard. He was throwing the most random profanities, and telling Y/N about his latest assassination mission he had, hoping to creep her out with the gore details - Much to his surprise, the small girl casually got to her feet and looked, incredibly bored, into his eyes.

“Hey, Ryan, where did you get this shirt?” Raian blinked, his smile dropping immediately, feeling the girl gingerly pick the hem of his shirt and feeling it. “It feels like cashmere. Is it cashmere? It’s really good quality.” “My name is Raian, you bitch! Get it through that thick skull of yours!” Fusui immediately reprimanded him for insulting her friend - But the insult fell on deaf ears. “Tell me where’d you get it from, Kevin. I kinda want to get one myself.” her hands slowly traced up to his abdomen, but Raian was so flustered up and irritated by getting called such weird names, that he didn’t notice. “I SAID MY NAME IS RAIAN, ARE YOU DEAF?!” he was shouting so loudly, that Y/N could have sworn her eardrums ruptured. “It would be better if the store had an online site - I don’t really have much time to go shopping myself. Actually - Do you think I could have it delivered for Kure Miguel?” Fusui was sure her friend had a death wish, but at the same time, it was kinda hilarious seeing her brother so worked up over his name. “WHO THE FUCK IS MIGUEL?!” his screech was so powerful that he’d put a Banshee to shame. “Dunno.” Y/N shrugged and pushed Raian into the small water pond right behind him. The water barely reached his waist as he was sitting in it, a lilypad on his head. “I’ll kill you.” his voice was so ominous, low, dark, menacing - And solemn, above all else - That Fusui’s heart froze in fear for her friend’s life. “WAIT, NO, RAIAN DON’T ---” but Y/N was laughing so cutely, that Raian stopped abruptly, glaring down at her. Instead of killing her, he threw his arms around her, hearing her groan. “I~ Got~ You~ So~ Weeeeeeeet~ ♪ Babeeeeeeeeeee~♪“ Fusui has never seen her brother like this - She could just stare in complete disbelief. “Technically speaking, I made you wet, Fritz.” the girl put her palm over his face, pushing him away from her. “Now you’ve done it.” Raian grinned widely. Y/N realised his master plan, and she sighed in defeat. “You’re gonna throw me in the water, aren’t you?” he let out a ‘yup’ sound, before he threw her in the pond. If the water was any higher, he’d have jumped with her - But with how little it is, she probably would have barely gotten wet at all. He was laughing so hard, his sides were aching, but he couldn’t stop. She looked like a wet, grumpy dog - Until she, too, started laughing. “Alright, alright, you got me. Good one. Now help me up, psycho.” Raian missed the mischievous smile on her face, and as he crouched down, extending his hand for her to take - Only for her to tug on his hand and have him fall in the water again. “You’re the psycho, not me!” the two looked at each other and started sniggering like two idiots. Fusui just stared at them, perplex, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. Did Y/N just manage to tame the Black Sheep of the Kure Clan? Something that not even their Patriarch could do? “You owe me your shirt.” she said blankly, stopping her laughter abruptly. “Any time~♪“ Raian nonchalantly took his shirt off and let it fall on her head. “...Okay, I might have just sabotaged myself.” she sighed, getting up and out of the pond. “I was supposed to have a sleep over. I don’t have any dry clothes anymore.” she stole a glance at the man. “I suppose I can’t stay over anymore. What a pity. Time to get home, I guess.” she shrugged nonchalantly, waving at Fusui and walking towards the exit of the large garden, only to feel herself being picked up bridal style.

Raian had taken her to his room and threw at her all cashmere clothes he had, while Y/N could barely hide her amusement. Clearly, she could wear some of Fusui’s clothes, after all, they’re around the same frame and they are friends - Or she could borrow the clothes of literally any woman of the Kure - Silly boy, so easily tricked. Or maybe he wanted to be tricked? Either way, Y/N found this, by far, the most hilarious situation she ever faced.

By this time, Raian kept bugging on Y/N and Fusui for the whole day, and during the evening, at dinner, Erioh and Karla and her brother had them all eat together. Y/N looked at her friend, her eyes pleading, embarrassed at the get up she was wearing. Suddenly, the whole joke was ruined and she was the one being tricked. How can she possibly go eat dinner with their 1000 year old patriarch and the rest of the family, when she’s barely wearing Raian’s shirt, and albeit long enough to reach the middle of her thigh, it was still improper. Raian didn’t give her any time to beg Fusui for a proper change of clothes, for he grabbed her wrist and dragged her and his sister all the way to the table. He was also still shirtless, so it only made things worse.

Y/N kept her head down the whole time, hoping that her face wouldn’t betray her embarrassment. Karla, Sarla and Fusui were talking casually about their assassin work, Y/N threw some comments here and there, the old man was quiet, and Raian was... Being Raian, and wolfing down a shit ton of food. Until Karla suddenly noticed there was no more water, and the fight for who would be the loser to bring another water carafe started. It genuinely felt like all the Kure children were going to put down the chopsticks and start a brawl to the death - But Y/N broke the tension. “Ah... There’s no more water. This food is so good, but it got me so thirsty... Can you please tell me where the kitchen is, to get more water?” before the old man could blink, Raian had already returned, and was pouring water in Y/N’s cup. “Oh! Thank you, Jericho!” ... Jericho? Erio had no idea what was going on, but he was genuinely impressed by how this outsider managed to quite literally manipulate the most rebelious clan member to do whatever she wanted... And prevented a war. And he was also shocked when he saw Raian placing his small rice bowl over her face, and laughing like an idiot, to the point he was rolling on the ground like a manic.

Y/N slowly removed the bowl from her face and used a napkin to clean all the rice, and she sighed. “Alright, I suppose I deserve it.” her nonchalance was genuinely so weird for all these proactive people. “Your stomach is going to hurt if you continue rolling like that.” she warned. “Also, it’s not nice, playing with your food. What are you, a kitten, Abraham?” Raian straightened up immediately and glared at the girl, watching her continuing to eat without sparing him a single glance. “WHO THE FUCK IS ABRAHAM?! AND I’M NOT A FUCKING CAT, YOU STUPID BITCH!” he shrieked loudly into her ear, but she didn’t flinch. Instead, the hand in which she was holding her own rice bowl slowly made its way to his face. Raian’s whole face had rice all over it, and Y/N wasn’t removing the bowl. “Take this off me, bitch, or I snap your neck!” that is what he said - Or, at least, what he tried to say, for the rice kept muffling him. “It’s not nice to speak like that, especially in front of your family... Or... To me. You really made me sad...” her voice was pouty and upset - Erio couldn’t believe the power she had over him, and as far as he was concern, this was the first time they met. By the looks of it, everyone was still in shock. “Y/N....” she slowly took away the bowl from his face, and with perfect precision, used her chopsticks to take a single rice grain from his face, and taunted him by eating it.

The whole room was quiet. They were preparing for the girl’s funeral. That is, until they saw her turn her head to the side, biting her lip and her shoulders were shaking. Raian’s face also suddenly split in a wicked grin. Suddenly, a few rice grains started falling off his face, and Y/N couldn’t keep herself in check anymore, and she started laughing, and so did the psycho. Y/N took another rice with her chopsticks, and they ended up laughing even harder. “Weirdos.” Fusui smiled wryly, completely surprised that her friend was getting along with her brother better than with her. “Y/N’s going to be our new sister, Fusui! I want to take care of your babies with Raian! I bet they’re going to be so strong!” the laughter stopped, and the atmosphere changed immediately. Y/N looked down, her face red with embarrassment, whilst Raian immediately wiped his face and glared at Karla, shouting at her for being an idiot. After this, no other fun moments happened, and Y/N returned to Fusui’s room.

Surprisingly, Raian doesn’t always act like he’s fucked in the head, nor is his voice harsh and loud. Late into the night, he sneaked into the girls’ room and woke Y/N up, and with a playful smirk, he urges her to follow him outside, and he takes her back to the pond. The two didn’t speak much, and just gazed up at the stars for a while. It was a serene and comfortable silence, though there was a certain tension between them, and neither spoke. It was weird. 

Raian would take off his warm jacket and put it over her shoulders, as she was still wearing just his cashmere shirt - He knew it would be chilly outside. He knew he wanted to see her, but he had no idea what to say. Karla’s comment really threw him off his grove, and it seemed to have done the same for Y/N, who was able to purposely get a raise out of him so many times in a single day, to the point that he was so hot and bothered that he’d have claimed her on the spot. A hundred times, and more. But that vanished completely, and now he annoyingly felt like some kind of awkward teenage boy, and he hated it.

“Hey, Bruce Lee.” Y/N’s voice wasn’t challenging nor provoking, and though it irked Raian to be called by a wrong name again, the softness of her voice only made him grumble. “Do you know how to put 100 babies in a single bucket?” “Huh? What the hell are ya on?” he snapped his head at her, looking with a weird expression on his face.  Y/N turned to face him, and her smile grew, as if she was trying not to laugh at herself for the stupid joke she was about to reveal. “In a blender.” 

Raian stared stupid at her, eyes wide, unblinking - He almost looked as though he was analysing the very milimeters of her ever growing grin. Raian’s humour was shit. Dark jokes that involve carnage, or simply shock value... Maybe even a shit joke, but with a good momentum delivery... And Y/N’s joke seemed to check all the boxes.

His laugh resounded so loud through the Kure village that the two actually heard “SHUT UP” scolds right back. Y/N was trying hard to stifle her chuckles, but to no avail. “You’re actually kinda cute when you laugh.” “What’s big and smells like shit? GENOCIDE!” he was choking from laughing so much, while Y/N’s mouth twitched. Shit joke, shit delivery.  “Your joke was about as bad as your sense of humour, Jose. But it’s fine. I’ll be the funny one of us.” she looked away, shrugging nonchalantly. “If ya call me by another name ONE! MORE! TIME!!! I swear, I’ll fuckin’ kill ya, babe!” he sneered at her with a glare. “Do it, Dennis.” Y/N found herself being roughly pushed to the ground, though her head didn’t collide, as it was carefully pillowed by his palm. She did not see the starry night, but his face - Handsome, and so impossibly close to her own. He sniggered like a mischievous demon. “You’re trapped, babe~♪ What’cha gonna do now~♪?”

Y/N blinked, realising the situation she was in. Not only was she trapped in those big and warm arms of his, but his body was also almost flush against her own. They were so close, that she feared Raian felt how fast her heart was beating against her chest... And against his own also.

But Y/N’s response was unexpected - Gingerly wrapping her fingers into his cashmere shirt... Did he choose it intentionally? - She pulled herself up to plant tender kiss on his lips. For a maniac, he had very plump and kissable lips. Eventually, she pulled away and laid back on the ground, shyly looking at the completely unresponsive boy.

Kure Raian, the Demon, the Black Sheep of the Kure clan - Was blushing like a highschool boy with a crush. How is he supposed to react? What is he supposed to do? Just -- What just happened? He is so lost that he’s making Y/N uncomfortable with how he’s staring at her so intently.

“U-Uh... Wh-What do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?” hearing her voice, albeit, shaky and unsure, unlike before, brought him back to reality. “What?” he breathed out. “...Fucked.” Y/N’s smile was so nervous and awkward. “Marry me.”

Since that night, Raian began his “Marry me” gimmick - And though it was obviously a gag, he half-meant it every time he said it.

Nobody ever believed that Raian would ever have a proper relationship, considering that everyone ostracizes him for being a merciless idiot, but the way he’s unintentionally simping SO hard for you is almost hilarious. How you learnt to tame the beast that he is, it’s a complete miracle. The Clan literally watches you, leaning at the base of a tree, reading leisurely, and you bait Raian into doing whatever you want, like - Make you a lemonade, or have him go get an ice-cream. All the weirdest things.

But if that wasn’t shocking enough, the fact that that boy can actually stay STILL for more than 5 seconds at a time, was absolutely fascinating. The patriarch would sit on the porch of the house and watch Raian sitting with his head on your lap as you absently play with his hair - And he actually stays there, and doesn’t laugh, or speak a thousand words per second, or throws profanities - He’s just laying there, a passive smile on his face, and living in the moment.

What a fascinating creature.

Raian always tells you all the most gruesome details of every mission he goes on, hoping he would creep you out - But you just nod at him dismissively and tell him to go on with his story.

Raian loves to show off when he’s training, knowing perfectly well that he’s attractive, wearing only his fighting shorts, with sweat dripping all over his flexed muscles... And then chases you around the garden to give you a hug, knowing you don’t want his disgusting sweat all over your clothes.

Fusui becomes your literal best friend, though you’re wary of Karla and her obsessive comments - She’s a good girl otherwise. Generally, you get along well with the clan, but both you and Raian agree that you need a break from them, so you crash at your own, away from all the madness the chaotic assassins dwell in.

When you’re hanging at your home, you feel more comfortable to act a bit more intimate. Don’t be fooled by his brashness, if you get together before he’s like - 20 years old, he’d probably brush off the idea of going any further - Unless you initiate it, then he’s game.

He just likes to be the best at everything he does, and while he was born into a family of fighting and killing, being intimate is something completely different, and it annoys him that he’s not a God from the very beginning - Although, he makes up with his eagerness and his absolute love of touching each and every part of your body and teasing you with a ton of kisses. He’s actually a natural, and the cute faces and sounds you make are his fuel, especially when he surprises you.

When you get intimate, he’s not afraid to experiment things and easily picks up on the things that you like and you don’t.

He also loves kissing you until you can’t breathe anymore.

Kisses with Raian are careful and soft at first, but quickly get deeper and more passionate, and he starts kissing and nipping at your bottom lip, licking and sucking on it before pulling you even closer to his body.

The problem is, he loves hugging you from behind and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck that he forgets he’s not always at home, in private, with you only, and he starts nipping at the soft skin on your neck.

The inside joke of calling him different names continues well into the years, and it confuses most people - The problem is, you often forget what names you used, and he teases you by pointing out you called him the same name twice in a week.

He wants to see you wearing his shirt at home and preferably nothing else underneath, while he stays topless and purposely flexes, to the point that he’s ridiculous.

Raian is incredibly playful, even if it goes borderline genocidal, it’s just how he is - And you always make fun of him for trying too hard.

Years after you met, he gets in the Kengan Annihilation Tournament, and of course, he refuses to go unless you’re with him - And honestly, how can anyone complain, considering you’re the only thing keeping him somehow stable? Though, you sometimes have the bad habit of letting him play around a bit too much.

You also kinda laugh when he’s threatening and playing around with Lihito in the bathroom, though you also scold him for dragging you in the men’s bathroom and unintentionally being forced to see that idiot’s... Privates.  

You’re also a bit irked by his unnecessary sadist show against Mokichi, especially as he’s called out your name, and you wanted nothing to do with him killing the only guardian of a little girl.  

When you scolded and refused to speak to him until he apologised, he got angry as all fuck and went on a rampage, and despite the Kure literally pleading to you to make him stop - You didn’t.  

Surprisingly, though, he was humbled in the second round by Tokita Ohma - And you mentally thanked the brunet for being strong enough and putting a dent into Raian’s ever-going berserk attitude.  

 Though Ohma was in a coma, Raian woke up soon after, and he found in the infirmary, alone with Mokichi and Ohma.

The room was quiet, save for the beeping of the oxygen machines, and you refused to even look at him, which angered him.

But then you explained why you were pissed with him, and also, why he lost so pathetically - And though he wanted to snap your neck for scolding him, he also knows she was right, not that he’d admit.

During the coup d’etat, he threw all of his frustrations into mass-killing, but once again, his bloodlust made him lose focus, and he got injured again.

Though you didn’t say anything, you did patch him up - He was so silent, that it made you realise he was actually reflecting on his downfall.

And you kissed him.

Over the course of almost three years after the Kengan Tournament, when Ohma comes over to the village to life and train with them, you can see Raian focusing more, and though the brutality is still there, he can actually control it.

Ohma became a trusted confidant and good friend of yours, and the two of you could comfort each other with the two Kure obsessing over you.

Raian’s gimmick with the marriage thing was amped up, though it was more or less to make fun of Karla... Not that she’d realise.

Over the years, Raian made sure to actually teach you how to fight to defend yourself, despite priding himself with being being so powerful that she’d never get herself in danger.

When you reveal Ohma to the world and go visit Koga and Ryuki at the hospital, you see Raian had climbed up the 5th floor and was mocking the young boys.

So you went up to him and pushed him off.

Everyone except for Ohma gawked, afraid for his life.

You just show him the selfie Raian sent you, while he was falling - He was pulling an overly exaggerated kissy face.

Dork.

He was a bit annoyed with how empathetic you were, comforting or cheering every fighter (except for Akoya) for their matches, so he keeps you caged in his arms, teasing you with small comments and kisses to your neck and cheeks.

To stop himself from going ape-shit from the wait leading to his own match, he snatched your hands and would absently play with them or kiss them.

Though the whole Worm thing was worrying you - You didn’t want anything bad happening to the family, or these Kengan people. They all looked like good people. 

But then Raian’s match came by and he was fighting Alan Wu, a clear enemy.

You pulled Raian into a kiss, more or less to have the time to warn him not to lose his cool and actually focus on the match, not on his bubbling emotions.

He just grins and brush off your worries, saying he’s a changed man and what not.

But then he gets threatened with a knife, sees Edward Wu in the hallway...

And he rips Alan in two in a split second, running after his arch enemy.

You stare at the mess left behind that was once a person, and you curse out loud - Raian’s lost it and he’s gonna get in trouble.

You don’t care that Alan was killed, but you fear Raian and his impulsiveness might get him in such a tight situation that he might get himself killed.

Even though Erio and the other two are there.

You and Ohma look at each other, and together, you pick Karla and rush to look for Raian, ready to potentially help him in a fight.

Only to see Kure Erio on the ground and dying.

Raian was sitting on the ground, livid with anger, feeling defeated.

They should have won with no casualties! So why the heck did the old fart use himself bait?! And why wasn’t he strong enough to kill those fuckers without the need of aid?!

He was filled with so many feelings of self-hatred and anger, that even your arms around him, or your comforting words couldn’t drown them out.

You held his hand throughout the funeral and comforted him for days on end, but Raian was still bitter.

Since then, you took a more active role in searching for the Worms - You might not have been a fighter, but you were smart enough to come up with plans and do the brain work for them.

Since the patriarch’s death, Raian visibly mellows down, at least around you, and he finally realises how fragile life can be - And if even that old man, who was the strongest man he knows, who was the first Fang of Metsudo and whatever... If even he could die... What about someone like you, who’s such a fragile little bunny? What if he’s not there to protect you? Not that his presence mattered when Erio died. And, worse - What if you’re used as bait to get to him? What if you get killed in front of him?

Being an assassin means that he’s seen and done a lot of cruel things himself, so he puts all the worst in front.

The night of the patriarch’s funeral, you hold his body close to your own, his head on your chest, and you play with his hair, allowing him to vent his anger with any profanity he might feel the need to spew.

But his silence is far worse than all his anger.

During that very night, Raian came to the realisation of a lifetime.

He pulls you into a tight embrace, and hides his face in the crook of your neck, so you wouldn’t see the single tear of sheer self-anger and regret.

 And in the most broken, vulnerable voice, you hear him voice the words that he’s been meaning to tell you for so long, but stopped himself, thinking he’d sound weak or something that didn’t matter anymore.

“I love you.”

---------------

Being in a relationship with Wakatsuki Takeshi... Being in a relationship with Yoroizuka Saw Paing... Being in a relationship with Kure Raian... Being in a relationship with Tokuno’o Tokumichi... Being in a relationship with Kano Agito... Being in a relationship with Gaolang Wongsawat... Being in a relationship with Gaoh Ryuki... Being in a relationship with Narushima Koga... Being in a relationship with Hatsumi Sen

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown.. Gossip Girl. Yep, we have been talking about the same people!! I honestly was just coming to say the same thing. The BT HQ is on fire. I saw you said you were getting shade about if we were all real. Today is the best example of yes we are. GG is the cool one, but I'm clearly the dramatic one. If anyone goes back, they will see that I mentioned multiple times what they wanted that Henren scene to be. Basically, Hen tells the audience shhhhh, we like this guy. If I'm being really honest, it would have been more kind if they never aired because it was one of the last ideas they had...

So let's step into Narnia.. They ended the season thinking BT were each other's people, they finally found safe space, they were comfort. Then Lou ditches them, Oliver ignores them, and that little hope they had for Hen, giving her mother Hen approval is snatched. They are battling back and forth with having to acknowledge this relationship is completely undefined. Every opportunity they had at the medal ceremony to somehow make Tommy a part of the family is gone. They had Maddie and Athena there, nothing. They wanted Tommy at the table with Chris and Eddie, nothing. (Dont let them fool you they wanted Chris and him to interact to show dad vibes). Now they really have to settle into the fact that at best they are fuck buddies and Tommy can't keep up with Buck. Expect them to romanticize or make the idea cool BT content.

Now we leave Narnia

Also, expect some shade is brewing for Hen. Apparently, she wasn't supporting her queer elder. Did you fall over when you felt my eye roll? Its honestlybaffling to me how quick they are to turn on an OG character for this man. It's like Stockholm Syndrome was invented for this moment.

Lastly, weird thing. They aren't sure what to do with Ryan's workout story. This may seem weird, but they kind of cling to Tommy is husky, and Buck is just as "husky." So there is a weird gumbo of where they are trying to land on how they view their bodies. Like they don't want Oliver working out with Ryan and them pulling the S Sex (6) interview scene, you know. I can't tell if they are going to land on body shaming yet. Maybe they are just terrified both will bulk up for a shirtless scene like we expected that season. Also the fact they think it makes Tommy seem older.

Anyways... It's definitely a dumpster fire over there.

Hello my love.

This is... Damn. Honestly, yeah, this scene is a nail in the coffin. It makes him somehow even less likable. It doesn't do Tommy, or bt for that matter, any favors. The relationship is not that serious, Tommy does not care for approval, Hen clearly does not trust him. It crushed so many narratives in 36 seconds it's kinda impressive.

There's so much going on here I don't even know where to start. Considering how they are treating real life wlw people, I have been fully ready for them to turn on Hen and even Aisha since I saw the clip, so I'm already expecting that.

The Ryan thing tho. The obsession with Ryan makes me want to fistfight people. If bt is so perfect and real and endgame, then why the fuck does anything Ryan does matter? And bodyshame the dude? Have they seen him? The dude looks like he stepped out from a catalog. I feel like my brain is melting. The mental gymnastics involved here, man. Crazy. I am happy it's a dumpster fire tho. I feel vindicated.

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

https://www.tumblr.com/crushingthebroken/741170379192745984/the-fact-ryan-condal-keeps-hitting-with-the?source=share

I think there is a lot of bias in this analysis, what is your opinion?

Yes, there's definitely a lot of bias here; op is so clearly a pissy TG stan. This analysis is rife with observation bias and just plain misinformation. I do sympathize with some of their points though. Op is doing something I've seen a lot of TG stans do: projecting the issues in HOTD onto Rhaenyra.

HOTD is a pretty bad adaptation, full of inconsistent characters and just plain fucking up the characterizations of the people. The Velaryons definitely suffer more than most other characters from this. They made Rhaenys rather antagonistic to Rhaenyra, turned Laena into basically nothing, made Laenor a deadbeat dad, and Corlys is just kinda there.

However, op's complaints about the Velaryons' representation show their bias very obviously. They don't complain about Rhaenys' characterization until she's supporting Rhaenyra. They don't talk about the issues Laenor's running away brings in, just about how it makes the Velaryons' support of the Blacks confusing. They complain about Corlys not being hated for offering Laena to Viserys, but don't acknowledge how the show purposely aged Laena down to younger than Rhaenyra to make Corlys look worse. The most damning however, is how they complain about how Corlys didn't care about Vaemond's death.

Vaemond is killed both in the book and the show, both times because he was slandering Rhaenyra and calling her sons bastards. Daemon kills him both times (with Rhaenyra's approval in the book, which was a slay tbh). Corlys doesn't care in either occurrence because Vaemond was attempting to usurp Corlys' line and his chosen successors. Op choosing to ignore the actual truth of the situation shows they just hate Rhaenyra and are bitter HOTD didn't go all the way with making the Velaryons disloyal to her.

Moving on to their complaints about Rhaenyra's portrayal, another thing I agree with to an extent. HOTD made Rhaenyra into a much more passive character than she actually was. They made her virtually inactive politically, removed her approval of Vaemond's execution, and made it so she was unwilling to go to war until Luke's murder. They showed their benevolent misogyny. However, op isn't angry about the sexism of this portrayal or how they nerfed an interesting and fun character, rather about how she does fewer morally ambiguous and questionable things. They're upset that HOTD made it harder to say Rhaenyra is an evil bitch without revealing the misogyny of TG.

Op also complains about how HOTD doesn't condemn Daemon enough while actually portraying how awful Aegon, Criston, and Vaemond are. This shows how op isn't actually using media literacy. Condal and Hess constantly condemn Daemon and went out of their way to make him worse than he is in the book. Daemon didn't murder Rhea or abuse Rhaenyra in the book, those are things they added to make him look worse. Meanwhile they actively defend Aegon raping women and go out of their way to make him more "sympathetic".

Op also sympathizes with Criston, because apparently him being held accountable for his own decisions is wrong. He chose to sleep with Rhaenyra, he chose to murder Joffrey, he chose to dedicate the rest of his life to ruining hers. Criston isn't a good person, he isn't a victim, he made all his choices and can't accept the consequences of them.

Op also reveals how they are very anti Valyrian by throwing in a spiel about how Daemon is a neo-nazi and the Valyrians are fundamentally evil for utilizing slavery. Yes, slavery is abominable, however, criticizing Daemon and Rhaenyra for wanting to hold onto their cultural traditions that have nothing to do with slavery or human exploitation isn't wrong. If every person was expected to abandon their culture just because the culture has morally wrong practices, no person could ever hold onto their culture. This applies to the other cultures of AWOIAF, including TG's precious Andals who tried to literally murder any religion other than the Faith. Daemon valuing his culture is the least condemnable thing he's ever done.

Op also complains about how Otto is portrayed as being an awful person. I have to say, a TG stan wanting to defend Otto is new to me, but not very surprising. Of course Otto is portrayed as bad and the head of the greens, they took away all of Alicent's agency and had to give it to someone. Otto is a raging misogynist and only cares about power, that's all there is to him, but apparently he's more sympathetic than Rhaenyra for some reason.

In conclusion anon, yes, this is an extremely biased "analysis". Op hates Rhaenyra and is upset that Condal and Hess didn't go out of their way to make her the primary antagonist of the show. Apparently it isn't enough that they outright defend a rapist and made the Velaryons completely nonsensical. TG stans are ridiculous and are driven purely by hatred of Rhaenyra and/or House Targaryen, op is no exception.

[hineygorerage1]

Hey could you do a prompt of us texting one of the CKY crew a dirty message in front of the rest of the guys and what they'd do once they got us alone after maybe?

(the band and the others) 💕💕

Prompt: texting them “I’m not wearing panties, come fuck me.” In front of the crew

Fandom: CKY

Bam: *ding* hm? … fuck- uh.. hey, (your name), could you meet me in my room for a sec?… please? (He got you alone and had you pinned to the bed for hours taking every inch of him until you couldn’t feel your legs)

Ryan: *ding* oh, Jesus! What’re you texting me now!?— oh… hey, guys, could you leave for just a sec? I gotta.. take care of something. (Once he’d gotten you to himself, he made you sit on his lap and tell him every detail of how needy you were for him and how bad you needed him. Then he took note of all of your fantasies and slowly fulfilled them as he fucked you against the couch.)

Dico: Yeah!! So basically I had raab in the cart- *ding* huh? Oh, it’s from (your name). gimme a sec. (He read the message and immediately shot a glance at you before hiding his phone screen. He spent the whole night slowly teasing you with gentle touches and once even putting his hand up your sundress to see how wet you were. He loved it, especially since you were so responsive. After so long of teasing you, he finally took his opportunity once you were alone, and bent you over the table. He fucked you senseless.)

Raab: *ding* hm?- wait, uh.. guys I gotta— (he texted back, “kinda busy. Can it wait?” To which you responded by going to the bathroom and taking a picture of how wet you were, “no.”. Before you know it, he was in the bathroom with you, undressing himself and helping you take off your sundress before taking his hands and putting them on your tits. He bent you over the sink and covered your mouth, holding you in place. He wanted you to see how pretty you looked in the bathroom mirror when he fucked you, which he did. Hard.)

Rake: dico, shut the fuck up! You totally didn’t do that!!- *ding* huh? (Rake pulled out his phone and checked the screen, eyes widening immediately. He began slowly typing, “pretty girl, don’t tease me.”. You felt your stomach twist before looking at him with a more desperate look, spreading your legs shamelessly for him to see. Thankfully, only he did. Once he saw your wet needy cunt, he stood up and grabbed your wrist to pull you to a empty room. “You really want it? Ask nicely,” he lifted your chin. You proceeded to ask politely for him to fuck you, which he absolutely did. He was passionate and hard, but made sure not to hurt you. Once he finished, he took time to pleasure you so that you could do the same.)

Jess: *ding* hm? You need something? (He glanced at the screen but paid it no mind. It made you bummed out and even needier, which he ignored as well. After the party, you were alone in Jesses room, sitting in his bed. He walked in and immediately stopped in his tracks at the sight of you, laughing. “Aw, are you upset?.. Jesus, take off your dress and quit pouting.” He undid his pants. After you were both undressed, he got you on the bed and laid down with your legs spread. As he fucked you he explained that he didn’t wanna ruin the party by going and fucking his loud girlfriend, which was fair because you moaned loud.)

Chad: *ding.* Jesus Christ, you’re so annoyi- (he looked up at you excitedly before replying, “come sit on my lap,” he patted it subtly. He made sure no one was looking before pulling your dress up on the back and pushing his dick into you. You had to sit there pretending like he wasn’t subtly fucking you. “Just keep quiet, baby..” he whispered in your ear before using his other hand to hold your hip in place as he grinded into you. As everyone left to watch bam do some tricks, he immediately began pounding into you on his lap, holding one hip and using his other hand to put his fingers in your mouth. He had you begging for more in tears by the end of it, which he didn’t give you until later that night.)

Deron: *ding* (he didn’t say a word, but quickly saw your text. He looked at everyone else and rolled his eyes. He texted back, “you can wait. If you really wanted it THAT bad, you’d ask me yourself.” And he put his phone on silent. You took the hint and walked up to him shamelessly before asking the same question, ‘deron, I’m so wet.. can you fuck me please?’. He looked embarrassed by you doing that in front of everyone but stood up anyways and grabbed your wrist. He yanked you into a empty room and pinned you to the wall. “Are you a moron?!?! Why would you do that?!” He shouted, looking down at your thighs, he put his hand up your dress and his hand was immediately soaked. “Jesus, you really were needy..” he whispered to you before pulling his pants down to his knees and lifting your legs to his hips. He fucked you against the wall until you could barely think.)

[fuuyuko01]

It's fine

Ryan Ross x Reader

Slight hurt/comfort (mostly fluff)

TW: swearing, alcohol, very, very slight nsfw

[HII!!! THAT WAS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC, SO I'M SORRY IF IT'S NOT GOOD!! You can tell me what I should improve, and I'll work on it!!! Hope you'll have fun!! ;P

XO Lea ☆]

*Y/N's POV*

It was a rainy day and I was lying in my bed with my friend Ryan by my side. Yes, Ryan Ross, known as Ryan Ross from Panic! at the disco. Cool, I know. We were friends since 8th grade, when he and his parents moved to our town. Since then we were friends and blah blah blah... As you can guess, I might kinda have a littlest crush on him, but hey.... who wouldn't, right? Anyway, I know it might sound cringe, but I'm 100% sure he doesn't feel the same, cause he can get literally every girl he wants, so I see no point why would he choose me. Anyway! I was scrolling through Instagram, when Ryan sighed and tapped at my shoulder.

— Brendon invited us to some party this weekend. He said that it's a Halloween party, so we should wear some costumes, you down? - he looked at me with pleading eyes.

— Well, if you're going then why not? - I smiled to him and he returned it.

— Good! I'd rather not go to Brendon's alone. - he sighed dramatically and I chuckled.

— Uh-huh, so if we're going, should we have matching costumes? Maybe mummies? [Everybody scream it's almost Halloween!!]

— Dude, I was thinking about the same thing, we totally should! - Ryan said excited. I knew he loves mummies, that's why I picked them, cause.... be fucking for real, who would want to go to party as a mummy. I could've been some Frankenstein [Iero] or dead bride. But I knew it'd make him happy, so whatever.

— Great! Well, we don't have much time, let's go shopping for some paints and bandages! - I said, and we went to store, to buy everything we needed.

☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆

Rest of the week wasn't so entertaining, we were just basically going to school and completing our costumes.

I had the worst luck in the day of the party. First, I spilled my coffee all over myself in the morning, so I had to change my clothes, but then I didn't have anything clean, so I had to wear some of my old clothes, which were too small for me. Then, I slipped on the spilled coffee and not only did I cut my knee on the floor, but my bracelet from Ryan fell under the kitchen cabinet so far that I practically had to climb under it to get it out. And when I had it, I also got a huge, DISGUSTING spider out of it. Yeah, I hope that was everything for today.

Ryan came over to my house, so I could do our matching makeup and that was so far, the only good thing that happened this day.

I was sitting on Ryan's lap, doing his makeup and his hands slipped on my waist. I blushed as crazy, cause what the fuck was he doing... He just grinned with his eyes closed as I was doing his eyeliner. That bitch... My poor heart was about to blow up, so I just tried to ignore it, which was difficult, cause I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM, AND HE HAD HIS HANDS ON MY WAIST!!! WHAT THE HELL.

I calmed myself and focused on finishing his makeup, and when I was done, I stood up and he went to the mirror to see my work.

— Is it good? - I asked him, still feeling a bit of warmth on my cheeks.

— Bro, it's beautiful! Thank you, Y/N, you're so good at this, damn.... - I chuckled at him and blushed slightly.

— Jeez, stop, you're making me blush! - I said jokingly and he smirked.

— Well, I saw how you blushed when I put my hands on your waist, you liked it so much? - I turned away so he couldn't see my red face, so I could finally do my makeup.

As I was finishing my eyeliner, my hand slipped and I stared at my fucking relfection in the mirror trying not to cry, cause I was almost finished. I groaned loudly and frustrated. Ryan came to me and looked at my fucked up eyeliner.

— Ehh... don't worry, you look great anyway - he smiled warmly and put his hand on my shoulder - You can always say that it's a part of your costume, right? - he rubbed my shoulder and I smiled at him. He's so cute and good to me.... You get why I love him.

I sighed, and after a while of getting our things, we went to Brendon's house.

☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆

[Sorry if it's boring...]

When we got there, Brendon opened the door with some girl Sarah beside him and they greeted us.

— Dude, you know who's coming today? - Brendon said to Ryan - Juliet! - he said and grinned at Ryan. Who? I was so confused. I knew it couldn't possibly be Ryan's girlfriend, cause I'd know if he had one, but... I've never heard of anyone named Juliet from him. He side-eyed me and I shot him a confused look.

— That's um... great. - Ryan said embarrassed and Brendon just shook his head.

As the sun went down and everyone was tipsy or just drunk, I was talking to Frank and Andy, cause Ryan went to grab some drinks for us. I realised it was a while ago, but I thought that maybe he met Jon or Z on the way. But after some more time, I was getting worried.

— Uh, guys, I'll go check on Ryan, you wanna stay or go with me? - I asked them and they looked at each other.

— I'll go with you! - Andy shot me one of his stunning smiles. Don't get me wrong, I love Ryan, but Andy is so cute! And he's more like a brother to me anyway.

Frank said he'll stay and went to talk to Pete and Gee.

As we were going and talking with Andy, I spotted Brendon grinning and giggling, while looking at something in the kitchen. Andy said he's probably so drunk, that he's hallucinating, so I brushed this off and then we get there.

Ryan was kissing with some blond girl. She was almost fucking eating him alive and he held her so tightly... I was stunned and I could tell Andy was too. We were standing there for like 15 seconds, which felt like hours and then Andy grabbed my arm and started walking off to the doors. Last thing I saw, was Ryan's shocked face, when he caught a glimpse of us walking off.

☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆

I was crying into Andy's shoulder, when alcohol and the whole Ryan-situation caught up with me. I'm not really blaming him for kissing that girl. She was pretty and in his type. I knew I wasn't that pretty, but she looked nothing like me and this broke me even more. I was kinda angry that he didn't told me about having girlfriend or even a crush.... I thought we were friends.

I heard someone opening the door, and Andy turned around.

— Um...hey, could you leave us alone? Please... - great. Well, who would've thought that it was Ryan. I hung my head low as Andy backed off a little.

— Sure, but don't worsen her state, cause I swear to god... - Andy looked at him with his brows knitted. He was such a good friend. As he was leaving, I heard him whispering "She loved you, bro" to Ryan. Damn, could it get worse? I sniffed and Ryan came to me.

— I'm sorry, Y/N... - he said. I started to feel bad, was I a bad friend and person?

— No, Ryan, it's fine! I just... I thought you'd tell me if you had a girlfriend... But it's okay, really. - I tried to smile at him, but my words were just worsening my ability to speak and hold back tears, so my voice and smile were cracking as fuck. Ryan sighed.

— It's not okay, Y/N and... she's not my girlfriend, I 'd tell you. I'm sorry, fuck, she's just an old friend of mine and... God, I'm sorry, she kissed me and I wasn't really thinking straight after alcohol, so I just went with it. And... you were all over Frank tonight, I just couldn't take it. - my eyes widened at his words.

— What? Ryan, what are you talking about? Frank and I are just friends, besides, Frank have a girlfriend, don't you remember...? - I looked at him in disbelief. He met Jamia, I didn't know what he was thinking anymore... He looked me in the eyes and his cheeks went slightly red. He said a little "Oh..." and I smiled lightly.

— So... that girl isn't your girlfriend, right...? - I asked shyly, cause I still was confused about all of this.

— No, I... - he sighed - I love only you, I couldn't look at you being so close with Frank, I just... I don't even know what I was thinking. I'm sorry Y/N, I get it if you don't want to be with me or you need a break I..- he didn't get to finish the sentence, cause I bring him down and kissed him quickly. We both melted into the kiss and his hands went to my waist, while mine rested on his shoulder and at the back of his head. We broke off after some time and just smiled at ourselves and he kissed me again, this time much softer, without any hesitations and fears of rejection, just pure love and happiness. Soon I deepened the kiss and it got pretty heated. My back collided with the wall and Ryan's hands were roaming on my body. But then someone opened the door and we broke off again. We were panting heavily, and Jon walked through the door. He looked at us, panting and blushing and he started laughing.

— Having fun? Don't get too fucking freaky when everyone can walk on you and get flashed. - he said and we looked at each other and smiled.

☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆~*°`°*~☆

Soon, we got back to my bedroom and as the sun went up we ended up on a ground. I smiled into the kiss and felt Ryan smiling too. He then backed off a little and looked me in the eyes.

— I'm sorry for tonight. I never thought you'd like me like that... I really love you Y/N, really, you're my everything. - he said and kissed my cheek, I felt like crying again.

— I love you too, Ryan! I thought YOU wouldn't like me like that. I guess we're just two idiots. - we chuckled and I hugged Ryan tightly.

I guess that day wasn't so unlucky, after all...

☆

[milfgyuu]

I haven't sent one of these in a hot minute! The last gifset had me thinking: Sincr it's 🎃time, how about assigning the typical horror movie roles/tropes to Seventeen? Like, we already know Mingyu is The Hot Girl that Dies First™️ 🤣 (grouping them is also fine!)

HELL YEAH, it's spooky time!!!!! I am popping these under a read-more jusssst in case there are some sweet angels on my blog that may be sensitive to the themes or aren't into the horror genre <3

but if you're into SVT and horror film roles/tropes, read below!

Cheol - is surviving. idc. he's giving Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax like he definitely is kind of the asshole with a seedy past in the movie but it's also the reason he is making it out alive because he's fighting back. mf is running around with a tire iron and a gash down the side of his face and he's PISSED.

Jeonghan/Minghao - is taking things a little too...unseriously. like "why are you guys freaking out? ooooh he's gonna getcha!" probably even finds himself getting caught or injured and laughs when everyone gets mad at him because "it was just a joke, omg u guys". definitely turns out to be the killer in the end.

Joshua - god, sorry, but he's the handsome, sweet, innocent boyfriend of the female lead who gets absolutely gutted by the killer in the first half of the movie. Like he is the letterman jacket-wearing jock bf of Drew Barrymore's character in the original Scream. He was truly a bystander but boy is he pretty.

Junhui/Hoshi - He's just a side character but the whole audience loves him! and then he gets kidnapped and disappears halfway thru the movie so everyone assumes he's dead but just when the killer is about to whack the main character he shows up out of nowhere and knocks them out with a fire extinguisher to save them. he's a hero, baby. he still might get got tho :/

Woozi - can we get fluffy for a sec? i know it's horror tropes but this is Thackery Binx from Hocus Pocus, ok? he was kind of a little shit and then he got turned into a cat so now he's chasing around these three idiot kids trying to help them stop the witches from eating all the kids in Salem and he's perpetually irritated at his lack of opposable thumbs bc if he had them, he could just do it all himself.

Wonwoo - he's the dark-knight detective on the case. he's scary, kinda shady, and is likely doing a ton of illegal shit to find leads and force information out of people, but he's not a bad guy. He's been on the case for over a decade and lives off black coffee and cigarettes. definitely makes it to the end and has a hand in taking the killer down.

Mingyu - ok, yes, i still think he's the token slasher-bimbo - like he's the opening kill before the title sequence BUT alternatively, he's the martyr...he's the character you end up loving and then you have to watch as he sacrifices himself so everyone else lives & we love/hate him for it. We weep for him. We write alternate ending fics for him.

Seokmin - Sigh, he's the dad who buys the super-haunted house in a paranormal horror flick. He can't afford to move because he poured his life savings into buying the house. Shit keeps getting progressively worse. His dog chased something into the woods and never came back. His kids are possessed. His wife is floating in the corner and making weird noises. but he's hot - like ryan reynolds in Amityville.

Vernon - bro, he is actually Darry from Jeepers Creepers. I literally can't explain this to you if you haven't watched this CLASSIC and those of you who have seen it...you get it. Like why tf is he ignoring Ms. Dabney????? she's trying to save him and he's like...ok weirdo...i'm gonna go check out that hole where it looks like bodies are being dumped...bye.

Seungkwan - he's not going in that fuck-ass house dude. he's not doing it. he will stand guard with whatever makeshift weapon he can find and he's talking mad shit about everyone and their stupid plan the whole time he's waiting. he is, however, a good friend, and he will run into the house the first time he hears someone scream. is soooo pissed when he finds out it was over nothing and now he's stuck with everyone else in the death trap.

Chan - he is the planner, the optimist, the strategist. he is getting everyone the hell out and he's got the brains and balls to pull it all off. like, my boi is setting traps as if he's Freddie in Scooby Doo. He is pissing the killer off left and right. definitely gets himself in a pinch - almost meets his end - and still, somehow finds a way to live.

[slashingdisneypasta]

... With some asks answered, are you alright if I ask what The Roo Gang would be as yanderes? Go ahead and ignore this if you want to of course! 😅

No no, I loved this! XD

Warnings for: Yandere behaviours, sexual assault and harassment, kidnapping, etc.

Kingston:

Kinda??... Chill??? Kinda.

Like, he wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't touch you in an inappropriate way. And he likes it when you fight back; he thinks its cute and you're the coolest person ever. So he wont fully kidnap you or anything either- as that'd take the fun clean away!

But he w i l l n o t leave you alone. Every time you get home there's a reminder that he's thinking about you~ Like a bouquet of flowers, or chocolates and a note teasing you that these are your favourites, doll!- but did I drug them?, a new piece of furniture (for me to sit at when I come over to see you~ ), etc.

There will also be never ending attempts to blackmail and threaten you into being with him (Just one date! A movie! I'm not askin' you to marry me, just come out with me- just give me a chance.), but basically telling him to fuck off will get rid of him. He wouldn't actually send you to jail, or get you kicked out of your house, or fired or anything!!- you both know that!!-

So yeah, chill sorta?? You can brush him off. But you'll be brushing him off for ever.

... unless of course you start dating someone else, then he'll have to get serious. To protect this cute little thing, you two have with eachother~ ^^

Rena:

Rena is eager. XD What little sense of dignity and pride for herself she had before, is gone- now she'll do anything to have you. And almost anything for you (Anything- except let you go of couse).

She w i l l catch you (She'll drug your drink, she'll seduce a flunkey or two into kidnapping you for her and then kill them to prove they meant nothing for her and she's all yours *cough*, she'll chain you up in the basement she set up all-pretty for you~ ^^ ), she will keep you, and she will get rid of anyone looking for you.

She's kinda like Baby Firefly in Mommy mode actually XD She likes to feed you, dress you, bathe you- just in general be super sickly sweet to you.

She's also kinda like Greasy in yandere mode, though. And... you know. She wont be able to keep her hands off you.

Ryan:

Okay he's my favourite. YOU DRIVE HIM C R A Z Y. Like, man, he is the m o s t sexual yandere here. He's demisexual, and he is i n l o v e with you. He's the type to stand over your sleeping form and jack off.

He hates himself for it, but what can he do? You're the bitch for doing this to him. Could you not fucking look at him?? Jesus fucking christ.

So yes- he's also m e a n. He wont kidnap you or anything like the others; in fact he'll try to keep you at a distance, but you still cant manage to shake him. This rude guy is a fixture in your life, no matter what you do to remove him. Go to a different grocery store?? He's there growling that you followed him. Different bus stop? Turns out he lives nearby.

He calls you a stalker, a creep, obsessed. Spoiler: He's deflecting. He's all those things, he's the one consumed by you, and he's blaming the hell out of you for it. He'll spend every waking hour that you see each other being awful and grumpy towards you and then when you're asleep?? He's squeezing his cock and gritting his teeth, pumping himself slowly and fighting to stay silent so you don't wake up and see him in the dark, in your bedroom.

[faceless-mirror]

Chapter 4: Rhythm and Rhyme

In a world where vampires are actively trying to fit in with humans, coexist safely and help each other, Vinny and his ESV(Emotional Support Vampire), Ricky, are getting to know each other and learning more and more. Adapting to the life in the contract they both signed, and are living with. As they do they border the line between Friends.... and Lovers.

Tags: @cookiesupplier @phxntxsmicgoricxl @jilliemiw86 @undead-ahead-wh0re @abiomens

Ricky had been with Vinny and the band for the past few days. Day one- Vinny knocked it out of the park. Even Chris had been stunned by the effort the younger threw into it, and tonight was one of the nights Vinny finally came out to socialize with everyone glued to Ricky’s side. Ricky’s arm was thrown over Vinny’s shoulder lightly, talking to Ryan as Vinny played on his phone. Baby steps. Little things. 

He smiled a bit at him out of the corner of his eye he could see Vinny was playing a rhythm game on his phone. It was clearly one he had picked up to distract himself. “Vinny- it’s nice to have you with us,” Ryan said making the drummer look up with those sweet green and brown eyes that felt like a forest kaleidoscope.

“W…what me? Oh-”

“It's really nice to have someone new… you also seem cool. Ricky’s been bragging you up.” Ryan commented taking a hit off his vape that smelled of strawberries and cream. “Sorry, I haven’t said much before now.”

Vinny looked up at Ricky lips slightly parted. “I… thanks.” he said turning his attention back to Ryan, “I’m still getting used to everything so it’s no big deal,” he assured the other guitarist. “It’s kinda weird being around everyone and everyone’s so talkative,” he admitted meekly, a small flare of anxiety picking up that was quickly handled by Ricky. 

“Nah…I get it,” Ryan admitted warmly to him, smoothing his hair back as she shot a smile at him warmly. “Aren’t you like… twenty?” he asked making the transition to a full conversation at least a minor bit easier for the younger.

“Yeah- Yeah, I am. I know I’m young…” “Not saying it's bad… it's impressive because you’ve mastered drumming the entire show in what… three days? Dude. That’s crazy.” Ryan pointed out, “You’re a helluva good drummer, man. We got lucky.”

Vinny was silent his lips parted in shock unsure how to accept such a compliment. “Th….thanks,” he whispered stunned before there was a noise from the kitchenette where Chris was opening the fridge to get a water bottle. 

Vinny fell silent instantly, anxiety almost drowning Ricky in the moment. Chris and Vinny hadn’t been getting along the best, not for Vinny not trying. But rather Chris’s stubbornness of dislike purely because Ricky liked Vinny as did the rest of the band. Chris knew he should be happy about it… but he couldn’t. He didn’t like seeing Ricky with this person, this willowy drummer. Seeing Ricky watch over him with those soft blues. 

The drummer swallowed as the Guitarist pulled him closer, taking in all the anxiety and stress he could. He would keep him safe. Ricky was ignoring Chris despite feeling those eyes on him and Vinny. 

“So like- you had a band before Motionless right? You mentioned it a few days ago. What kind of music was it?” Ryan asked clearly interested making Chris set his jaw trying to ignore the flare-up of frustration.  

“Oh, it was… trap music mostly. I really loved it…” he admitted, “But i fell out of it pretty fast.” Vinny answered as Ricky rubbed his back feeling the grief boil up just a bit. He had read the report. He could understand, the grief that Vinny was trying to process was… so much. Too much.

“Why’d you stop?” Chris finally asked, walking over to sit beside Ryan, who merely shifted some to make room. 

Vinny smiled sadly, trying not to overthink. “I… we were… my friend died.”

The bus fell silent. Chris swallowed. He wasn't trying to be a dick this time. Fuck. The grief that filled the room… you didn’t have to be an ESV to sense it and Ricky moved to kneel in front of Vinny, cupping his face and smoothing his hair as he fed off the grief to lower it. The youngest looked into those glowing blues breathing slow and steady, grateful, and sniffled a moment, breathing again after a minute. “T…thanks.” “No problem… wanna go for a walk to clear your head at the rest stop?” he asked to which Vinny immediately agreed. 

Chris looked at Ryan, who just watched Vinny sadly, “If you ever need to talk, Vinny, we’re all here… we won’t judge.” he promised, to which Chris nodded. 

“I wanted to apologize honestly.” Chris sighed, knowing he needed to at least try to get along with the drummer. It wasn’t Vinny’s fault Chris was a moody bitch lately. It shouldn’t be his problem either. He was smart enough to admit that… even if he hated it. He ran his fingers through his black hair averting his gaze as Vinny turned his full attention on him.

It was silent for a moment before- 

“I accept your apology. You didn’t know about anything… so I can’t blame you for wanting to know… it would have been nice to have been given more of a heads up before being told that the drums were set up for me to audition with first time meeting you though… I would have liked to warm up.” he explained softly, though it turned into a quiet ramble.

Ricky smirked at him. Gods… Vinny was a sweetheart. He may have problems but he was sweet when he was given a chance and Ricky adored it. But he wouldn’t fall in love. He had to remember that. He was nothing more than a stepping stone in Vinny’s path to recovery. 

He couldn’t resist rubbing Vinny’s cheek before standing up and sitting back down as the bus fell to silence again. It wasn’t long before they pulled into a rest stop and Ricky guided him outside with a gentle smile. “Let’s stretch out a bit. How are you feeling…?”

Following closely, Vinny smiled at him, “Sad… but also a bit happier… I missed talking to people. Ryan’s really nice. I didn’t think he would be so friendly just looking at him.” he mentioned softly, “Chris surprised me too.”

“You’re not the only one.” Ricky mumbled softly as they started to walk.

[stygianheart]

HAPPY PRIDE! Featuring Ryan (Bryan) Vivero, Unlabeled!!

Small Text underneath:

“So, Ryan, who’re you into?”

The question was sudden and unprompted—random and sort of confusing. All Ryan had been doing was sitting on the couch and reading a book, when the stupid llama Helmeppo walked up, plopped himself down next to him, and just asked that question.

Ryan paused for a second, looking at Helmeppo in confusion.

Helmeppo repeated the question. “Who’re you into?”

“…why are you asking me this?”

Helmeppo shrugged. “It’s June, so it’s pride month. Just wondering where you fit into that.”

Normally, Ryan would snap at Helmeppo with some witty, smug, and arrogant insult. However, Helmeppo normally didn’t ask Ryan serious questions.

Ryan only knew the question was serious because Helmeppo wasn’t smirking.

He lowered his book, frowning a bit as he turned to stare at the floor. “…I don’t know.” He finally answered.

“Seriously?” Helmeppo raised a single brow. “So, you don’t know if you like guys or girls or people in between or—”

“I don’t know.” Ryan snapped, sending a glare to his friend. “Genuinely.”

“Okay, then what’s your type?”

“What part of ‘I don’t know’ don’t you understand, you brainless llama?!”

“I was just asking a question!!”

Ryan huffed, pulling out his cigarette box. “Look. I don’t know. I like who I like, and to be honest, I don’t want to put a label on it. I never had the time for a crush, but…” he glanced at Helmeppo, the gears in his brain turning ever so slowly. “I guess I do have a type? Someone tall. Smart and loyal. Brave, too, and caring.” He reached a hand over, picking up some of Helmeppo’s hair between his fingers and electing to ignore the fact the blond’s face was turning pink.

“W-what are you?!—”

“I like long hair too.” Ryan mused, rubbing the hair between his fingers before letting go and pulling his hand away. “And—”

“Don’t touch my hair!” Helmeppo snapped, scooting away from Ryan ever so slightly. “And didn’t you have a crush on Martial Geob the pirate? Even though he’s, like, nine years older than you? He has long hair.”

Ryan scowled. “Don’t cut me off, asshole!” Helmeppo raised his hands in a silent apology as Ryan lit a cigarette. “…I guess they gotta be a bit older? Though not, like. Old older. Just…like a few years older than me. 1 to 5 years, though I’ve gotta have met them as an adult. But I don’t really think gender matters to me.” He took a puff of his cigarette, watching the smoke tendrils float around.

“…Ryan, you’re a doctor, you should know smoking is bad—”

“Fuck off and let me finish my answer!” Ryan grunted in annoyance as Helmeppo smiled sheepishly in yet another silent apology. “Point is, I like who I like. Guy, girl, between and neither, I like whoever, as long as they fit my sort of type. And I don’t like labels, so…I’m unlabeled, I guess.” His eyes flicked over to Helmeppo as silence began to fill the air between them. He was probably going to regret asking, but whatever. “And what about you?”

Helmeppo shrugged, leaning back on the couch. “Mostly girls. I’ve liked a guy here and then, but I prefer the ladies Though I like it when people are kinda rude and blunt and unafraid to snap back. Brave, in a way. But even though they’re rude, they’re selfless and kind. You get what I’m saying?”

Ryan tapped his cigarette against the tray beside him, watching the ashes fall. “Yeah. Guess I do.” He muttered. There was a pause, then— “so basically me?”

“What?! NO! SHUT UP, AS IF!!!!”

Ryan snorted, almost dropping his cigarette. “Please, your face is redder than my hair right now!”

“Oh shut up, you—you—you wretched hyena!”

“Awww, is someone scared that I found out about his little crush on me?”

“I DON’T LIKE YOU, SCREW OFF!” Helmeppo blubbered, immediately trying to elbow Ryan. The corpsman dodged it easily, still laughing at the flustered look on his friend's face. He took it in through the laughter, his smile growing by the second.

Unlabeled, huh?

Guess I can live with that.

[puprlebrotato]

Ozpin is an ageless motherfluxxer: An rant essay

I have no idea how to start this but let's go-

So beyond most of the huntsmen/tress (why were'nt they just called hunters RT what the hell-) students, we have no Brothersdamn clue how old most characters in RWBY are.

Most peopole wouldn't care about that because they're sensible

If you couldn't tell, I am not most people

So one day, I decided to finally try mark out how old some characters are, using, of all people, "(Formerly Dr)unkle" Qrow Branwen

If we start at his first year at Beacon, he would (probaly) be 17, since that's the standard age most initiates are (ignoring the possblity of him being older or younger since he pulled a Blake and joined despite being a criminal so he probably didn't give a damn about the age reqiurement).

Flashforward to graduation, when he and STRQ finish their fourth year. Qrow should roughly 20 or 21 now.

From here on it's kinda iffy but, assuming Tai adn Raven have Yang right then, Qrow should, in Vol. 1, be 38.

For a refresher, out current math is 17 (First Year) + 4 (Academy Years) + 17 (Yang's life).

Now, what does this have to do wiht Ozpin looking nohting like his goddamn age?

Enter Peter. Fricking. Port.

According to the man himself, Port was a TA (teacher's assistant) during Qrow's first year. Now the math for this is even MORE iffy than the "Tai and Raven bang upon leaving beacon" math, but hear me out.

IF we work backwards, Port has his career of Huntsmaning beforeing being hired by Beacon, entering as a TA. Low balling at 4 years of experince, Port is likely 25 when Qrow is 17 (which also means Port is 8 years older than tai which makes the whole joking in his home thingy odd but also funny but whatever) [also the math of this is 4 years of exp + 4 years of beacon + 17 years leading to entering beacon]. Adding Qrow's four years and Yang's age, Port is 47 as of Vol. 1.

That's... okay. Personally he looks older to me, but this is just a 'low ball' estimate.

Now, with all of this figured out

What in the ever loving FUCK do I do with Ozpin.

This is VERY speculative, so take this with a micro-fucking-scopic amount of salt, BUT

Oz is (probably [notice I've been saying that a lot?]) headmaster when Port is a TA and Qrow's a first year. Now, one would assume Ozpin is WAY older than Port. HOWEVER, Ozpin is also said to be the youngest headmaster in Beacon's history, so who fucking knows how old his wizard of oz ass is. For clarity's sake, let's say he's Port's age. That's probably wrong, but let's just say so because why not.

If you're paying attetnion, that would mean in Vol. 1 Ozpin is 47. Fourty-fucking-seven.

Do me a favor and look up a picture of ozpin for me. Ignoring his hair, look at his face. Look at him.

there is no way in hell ozpin is forty fucking seven

I know people who are entering the prime of their life, hell I'm fsamily with people are well past the prime of life. THAT MAN IS NOT ENTERING HIS FIFTIES.

If that's fifty then Maria must be over a damn 100 I just- I dont- AGH-

[Please wait: having ragful technical dificulties]

Now, this could just be a design thing. I mean, come on. It's RWBY. It's an american anime, no one ever looks their freakin' age in anime.

Or, Ozpin and his aura and immortal magic BS have done what no skincare company in the world can do and has achieved Ryan Reynolds levels of not aging.

that is all, I needed to get this out of my head. If you're reading this as of posting, words of the immortal Samuel Jackson, "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

[buster-loves-pr]

alright, chapter power ranger stories I plan

-Chad breaking his leg and he’s out of commission for a long two months. You know Brian from that one episode. He takes his place as blue. And also Chad’s sad because he can’t do much mow

-Dana and Ryan Swap Au. Let me just it, more emotional whump than physical but I want to do this.

-Jack and Z growing up on the streets. Yeah. Not going to go into too much detail but I mean, they gotta be a little messed up from it

-Madison and Vida get sent to a dimension that is in battle with the villain that sent them there. The Aquatic creatures (Imagine them as like the Luca creature.) look up to Maddie seeing her water spells ability. Unfortunately it kinda is a race against time since Vida got bitten by one of the Villain little creatures and the only way to get a cure is to get a decent amount of the monster’s salvia.

-Dax and Rose get send to the Arctic because of a fake jewel reading one of the faction plan. Now what you do when one of the rangers gets injured in the leg, half of their supplies get stolen , and trackers don’t work. You got two rangers trying to survive the Arctic cold.

-Dillion punches Ziggy’s guts out. No literally, he put Ziggy into life support when mine control, . As a last ditch effort to save him, he hands him to Tenaya, who then turns into a cyborg assistant for Venjix. It’s basically Ziggy trying to help Venjix but failing while Dillion tries to deal with his guilt of giving Ziggy up and having Venjix control him

-Gem and Gemma life growing up. *psssh* they’re kinda scary if you ignore the childlike ness. Liked fucked them up

-Javi recovering from his army injury. I refuse to have only two episodes focusing on this. Put This guy in recovery mode, not to the extent that Leo gets himself into but he can’t be okay after one day. Phantom pains and dealing with wanting to fight again. Perfect

[lover-of-mine]

"I do think the show kinda wrote themselves into a corner with them and I can go on a whole separate rant about that" can you elaborate on that?

tldr: the stakes are too high now so it's easier to keep playing with the tension than resolving it.

Okay, so, I do joke they had a plan when they casted Ryan, but I actually do think they were just playing with the chemistry between Oliver and Ryan up until the moment they decided to retcon the well to make the will a thing. I do think both Ryan and Oliver like to play with their chemistry too, I don't act but I'm guessing it is fun to play with what you can do with another actor you have the type of chemistry they have, but when you look at season 2 and most of season 3 as a whole, ignoring a few moments we like to hang on to, they are two friends who really trust each other. Season 3 does up the stakes, but it was early enough they could swing it either way even more with the way they are not as close as they could be during most of season 4, a lot of things about the 2 of them are left implied, and it makes sense considering both of them had explicit love interests that season.

But the shooting and consequences are a real turning point for the way they are being portrayed, its less unintentional, less reliant on the chemistry between the two of them, it's more on purpose, the way the shooting scene was filmed and framed, the choice of words, the slow-mo of them standing there, the impression they give you that they have their eyes locked across the pavement, Buck saving Eddie alone, having Eddie ask Buck is he's hurt, Buck saying "I need you to hang on", the way Buck steps up with Chris without knowing about the will, the way we find out about the will, the choice to have that be something Eddie has been hiding for over a year, creates something on purpose with the two of them that actually allows them to play with putting buddie in season 2 and 3 in a different light, it implies a level of planning when you look at the whole show. Season 5 we have them talking more on screen, we have Eddie basically asking for permission to break up with Ana, the wording in that scene also feels really on purpose to make you look for hidden meanings if it ever came to it. And there are things like Mitchell clocking that hurting Eddie is more effective in controlling Buck that's also something you can come back to and repurpose later. There's the choice to have Buck being the person who actually gets through to Eddie with making him feel comfortable in his own life again, and having Buck being the person Eddie opens up about his trauma to begin with. And then we have literally everything about season 6. Season 6 actually allows me to change the perception of the whole show and write a 4k words rant about how Eddie has been in love with Buck since season 3, because they make a very conscious effort to paint Buck, Eddie, and Christopher as a family unity, the dinner on the premier, Buck baking cookies for Chris to take to school, the 3 of them hanging out on the loft while Chris does his homework. And everything about Buck's death and the episodes following, Eddie mirroring Buck during the shooting after the lightning, Eddie acting like a grieving partner, Chris being the person who makes Eddie go and see Buck, Buck knowing he can run to Eddie's when he's overwhelmed, whatever the fuck was mixed feelings.

But since now they can very easily add context to previous seasons to make them seem planned even if they weren't, there's a whole new level of expectations about them together. Because it makes it look like the people who have been shipping them since season 2 are right, so right now the showrunners have the chance to make what could objectively be one of the best slowburns in television history and add the fact that it's a queer relationship and they have the chance to do something that will make the show go down in romance history in a way. But realistically speaking, it's hard for them to make that relationship a reality. We have 7 main characters, we see 4 of them get together, so we are invested in them, we have Karen being introduced to us when Hen screws up, which makes us sympathize with Karen so we are invested in henren even if Karen mostly exists to be Hen's wife, and we have the other two being heavily shipped together since the beginning. But the thing with Bobby and Athena and Chim and Maddie is that they don't work together, so they don't have to acknowledge bathena and madney every episode, because if we are not seeing them together there's no real expectation for the episode to do something to remind us they are together. That won't work with buddie. Considering the way they are partnered in the field most of the time and they are on the same shift and how high the expectations around them are because of the way their friendship was constructed, they would have to find a way to make the relationship known every episode. And let's face it, most television shows really struggle with keeping slowburns together after the buildup, and the buildup with buddie is high, because they get used to working the tension and once the tension is resolved they drop the ball so we end up with unnecessary conflicts and breakups that make no sense just to add tension back in so the relationship will be interesting for them to write. And we joke that Eddie baby trapped Buck and that they act like an old married couple, but they literally already have a canon legal document tying them together, they very explicitly co-parent Chris, they are very clearly comfortable in each other's spaces, so that makes the usual tricks to keep slowburns interesting won't work, because honestly, I think that even a friends to married thing with them isn't that farfetched. Raise the tension enough in the lead-up to getting them together and they could have them flying to vegas to get married and most people just accepting it. But that's not good for their storytelling because 911 is not the buddie show and there is all this expectation that could end up with them deciding that writing them as an established couple is more complicated to deal with than just leaving them simmering forever.

Because the thing is, one good push and you get them together, they can trip them into a relationship at any time, really, just sit them down and let them talk about their feelings and accidentally confess to something, or turn up the flirty banter they have while they're alone and let them trip into each other, put any of them in danger and have the other snapping, like literally any of the hundred contexts we have of getting together fics about them would work at this point, but the issue is not getting them together is keeping them together in a satisfying way.

[boston-babies]

Chris knocked on the door and sighed when he saw Tanner answer “oh fuck me” Tanner smirked “oh goodie, back for more verbal berating?” Chris rolled his eyes “I’m here to see my kids Tanner” she crossed her arms “you saw them on Thursday” he nodded “well that’s kinda how being a parent works. You see your kids every day or in my situation as often as you can. It’s a holiday weekend and I want to spend time with them.”

She smirked “you don’t live here anymore” he growled “it’s still my home with my wife Tanner, move”. She rolled her eyes and stepped aside but made one last snide comment “there’s a surprise in the kitchen for you”

Chris ignored her and walked past her and headed straight for the kitchen. Sitting at the table was Zac and Henry talking and having coffee but at the island he saw you and Tom sitting across from each other talking and you laughing at something Tom had said and Chris saw red “what the fuck?!”

Ryan had been wandering into the kitchen, texting on his phone, with his spoon from his yogurt earlier hanging from his mouth and looked up immediately after hearing his father. He slowly turned and started walking back. “Nope, not getting caught up in that” he muttered to himself.

You looked away from Tom and right at Chris “I thought you said you were coming around noon for the kids?” He shrugged “yeah well I decided to head over early. Why the fuck is he in my house?” You rolled your eyes “he stopped by to say hi and I asked him if he wanted to stay for breakfast” Chris put his hands on his hips “I told you I don’t want him around my kids”. Tom stood “he has a name you know-“ Chris snapped “you need to sit down and mind your fucking business” Tom walked closer to Chris “and what are you gonna do about it?”

Tanner ran in and sat next to Henry with a shit eating grin “oh good, I didn’t miss any of the good stuff”. Henry didn’t take his eyes off of the situation in front of him but still softly spoke to Tanner “sweetheart I think it’s best if you and y/n go to the den with the kids” Tanner saw his genuine concern and nodded. She walked over to you and pulled you away to the den.

Tom smirked in Chris face “this is good. Honestly because you keep pulling shit like this and I’ll be able to swoop in and take her from you with no issue. I can’t wait to wife her up and rub it right in your face. Especially if I can convince her to pop out a few more kids with me”

Zac and Henry stood as Chris lunged for Tom and rushed over to stand between Chris and Tom to prevent anything happening. Zac held his hand up “he’s not worth it man, let it go!” Henry held Tom back but looked back at Chris “Zac’s right Chris, don’t let him rile you up like this. It’s what he wants”

Chris took a deep breath and looked right at Tom “get the fuck out of my house and stay away from my family” Tom nodded “I don’t think I’m going anywhere Chrissy boy. See I let her get away once and I’m not about to do that again” Chris shook his head “Jesus fucking- you were sixteen years old! Move on! Besides, aren’t you married with kids of your own you jackass?”

Tom crossed his arms “yeah we were sixteen but I was in love with her-“ Chris cut him off “oh yeah well cheating on her is a great way to show her you love her” Tom snapped “you would know wouldn’t you? And it was a mistake! I tried getting her back then suddenly she met you and I didn’t exist anymore! But I knew eventually you’d fuck up and then I could make my move. Now I get a front row seat to blow up your life further” he laughed “oh man, I can’t wait to get your kids to hate you too. Can you imagine? They hate you so much that they start calling me dad? Damn” he laughed and Chris lunged again with Henry and Zac holding him back “you son of a bitch!”

You walked from the den to the kitchen to check in on the situation and your eyes widened when you saw the scene in front of you. “What the hell is going on here?!” Tom suddenly looked surprised “I have no idea, we were talking and he just lunged at me”

Chris pushed past Zac and Henry and stood between you and Tom “you’re going to stay away from her-“ you grabbed Chris’ shoulder “what the hell Chris?!” He shook his head and looked back at you “no pretty bird, I know how bad this looks but you have to trust me on this. You need to stay away from him” you shook your head “Chris-“ he turned and faced you fully “look I know I fucked up but I have no reason to lie to you about this”

You looked back and forth between Chris and Tom and chewed your bottom lip. After a moment you looked down but spoke quietly to Chris “the kids are ready to go, just make sure they’re back in time for dinner”. Hurt flashed across face “y/n..come on..” you looked up at him with hurt prominent in your eyes too “please Chris..just go”

After a beat, Ryan walked in again but this time he was holding Teddy and Brayden, Brandon, Will and Lily were behind him “wow, you can cut the tension in this room with a knife”. You wiped your eyes and walked over to the boys and gave them each a kiss “have fun with daddy today okay and be good please. Ryan I’m talking to you” Ryan feigned offense “I’m always well behaved mama”

Chris nodded and walked over to take Teddy from Ryan “I figured we could go to the aquarium for Teddy today then after we can do what ever you guys want to do then we can go get lunch” Brayden’s face lit up “oh can we go to ReelHouse for lunch?” Brandon shook his head “what is it with you and ReelHouse?” Brayden looked offended “uh are you kidding? they have the best food ever”

Chris nodded and let out a small laugh “yes Brady, we can go there for lunch” Brayden lifted his arms in excitement “yes!” Brandon facepalmed at Brayden and Chris shook his head in amusement “head out to the car guys, I’ll be out in a sec.” The kids said their goodbyes one last time and went outside. Chris readjusted Teddy in his arms and looked at you “can we please finish talking about this later?” You walked over and gave Teddy one last kiss and smiled at his giggle and looked up at Chris “you need to go now. You don’t want to keep the monsters waiting”

The hurt flashed in his eyes once more but he just nodded “I’ll have them back for dinner” and with that he left.

[bisluthq]

That doesn’t explain why people like Jenny Slate have unfollowed Justin though? I can see that being the explanation for the drama with Blake, but isn’t the whole cast ignoring him/unfollowing him?

well maybe because they think Ryan/Blake’s strategy is better and Ryan’s edits were good and as we’ve said Ryan has major Hollywood capital so idk about siding with a rando over Ryan? Especially for someone like Jenny who’s more comedy like idk why you’d want to annoy Ryan Reynolds in her situation?

I just looked at Justin’s insta and he’s REALLY pushing the DV angle and seems really measured about it. Like his whole thing is this is a movie about a fucked up situation and he feels like he needed to make sure it kept a female perspective/gaze and he says it’s important for men to ask themselves why other men commit DV/harm women (even if they themselves feel they aren’t problematic). He really seems to be promoting a very different movie to the one Ryan was promoting in his clip with the Atlas character’s actor. Maybe Jenny wants to be promoting Ryan’s version of the movie, not Justin’s downer version. Fwiw like obviously wbk this story is about DV but I can see someone signing on to a BookTok fave adaptation without thinking it’s gonna be a downer of a movie so again maybe people just think Ryan’s right lol. And again, my guess would be that commercially he 100% is. People are 100000% likelier to go watch a hot movie about hot people than they are some mid meditation on like patriarchal violence. (The movie does not have great reviews lol and tbf neither does the source material so there’s only so much you can do in terms of meditating on patriarchal violence when that’s your storyline and the finished product reflects that storyline like maybe pushing “everyone’s super hot” is really the better way forward).

also again I don’t know about that anon saying Ryan wants an Oscar nom for Blake (I really fucking can’t believe that he does) but looking at Justin’s page it kinda seems like he might be expecting that type of thing? Like he’s promoting something SUPER serious lmao. It’s very possible the rest of the cast is just like “broski you’re delulu af let’s listen to what Ryan Reynolds has to say and follow those instructions on how to make this a big hit” 💀💀

[wack-ashimself]

The Barbie movie is the most meta thing ever made (fuck you deadpool).

Spoilers.

First…15-20 minutes, I was not feeling it. Way too much atmosphere for a place we knew we’d be most of the movie. But I think it was to more trick you (which it does, a lot) that the movie is going ONE way, then goes another. There were many times foreshadowing was so in your face, you wonder why they even did it. But then you realize (again) it was a trick: think you’re so smart cuz you see something coming cuz it was a red herring! They didn’t give a FUCK you knew about it; here’s some other weird fucking twist.

It was funny. I just watched strays (also with farrel) and that movie had like….5 solid laughs. Rest were just dick jokes. Barbie was significantly funnier. I almost am irritated because I had to rewind it a few times cuz sometimes it was good 1 liner after another, no pause, so you don’t even have enough time to finish laughing at the first one to let the humor of the next one sink in. I LOVE THAT> It makes a movie rewatchable. Top 3 funniest? 3-almost anything will farrel said. I feel like his was partially improvised, and it worked. It so fucking worked. Like, they’re chasing Barbie out of the lobby, get stuck by a short jump-able gate, screams for a keycard, THROWS it at the gate like a madman, freaks out that they can’t get thru (again, JUMP-ABLE), it suddenly opens, and he runs like a bat out of hell. He gave it to this performance! THE BARBIE MOVIE, and Will Farrel brang his A-game. 2-Ryan Gosling. His overall performance too. Cuz I NEVER find him funny in anything (even his SNL skits), but he was so SO fucking over the top that, even when it didn’t work, IT WORKED, ya know? Like it was so tongue in cheek cheesy, you almost were choking on the gouda. Do you know how hard as an actor it is to overact, intentionally, but to make sure it doesn’t look like it’s overacting? Not even going to name a specific moment; I’m just glad he made me finally laugh (the Nice Guys was overrated). 1-MARGOT FUCKING ROBBIE. Cuz she was hilarious as the straight/dry humor. Deadpan, kinda. And she had SO many fucking great lines when she came to the real world (dark comedy-when she first arrives and realizes she’s objectified like it NEVER happened before). Fav moment? Easy. Near the end, given up, Weird Barbie finds her. She straight up says something the lines alone ‘Now I’m ugly and weird like you’ but NOT in an insulting way, more ‘that’s life now.’ And Weird Barbie’s reaction? OMG. I was trying to be vague so you can watch it, read (or reread) this and go ‘OH YEAH!.’ Like I made some fair observations but didn’t give enough details as to ruin the joke. I needed a good laugh, and this movie delivered.

Now, why is it meta? Best way I could say it, HONESTLY? It’s like the movie took a mirror to the worst in (typically USA) men, shoves it down their throats (in a comedic way. As the saying goes ‘If you’re going to tell somebody the truth, you better make them laugh, or they’ll kill ya’) and does the same to women, but more their weaknesses than worst aspects. I see why men hated on this: it is 100% pro women, men fucked everything up, etc. I ain’t wrong cuz in the end, I thought they would give the Ken’s fair representation in the Barbie government, but NOPE. SO…how does that make them better than men? Do I believe the real world would be better with all women in charge? For the most part, yes. I genuinely do. But I don’t think they’ll solve everything. And I don’t know if making sure a particular type of people having no say in the world around them is a good thing. But fairly, I’m also the one that says rob billionaires and drop them on an island to rot so….I ain’t saying I have the answers. But the Barbies (MAJOR SPOILER) taking back their city from the Kens, cuz the Kens were…ignored and not heard, but then not giving them any way to be heard in the government (or even housing….) is a MIXED ENDING at best. NOT HAPPY. ‘The Kens brainwashed the Barbies.’ HOW? And how do you know it wasn’t just the one? Cuz the other Kens, in the end, chanted after Ken like…copies. It felt like the Barbies were all original, but the Kens weren’t. Maybe they were brainwashed too. It felt hypocritical to open with Kens not having houses, Barbies all in dream houses, travel to the real world, experience real things, Ken became pro male freak, takes over Barbieland, somehow brainwashes the Barbies (I don’t even think HE knows how he did it), over claims what is his (doing 100% what Barbies did to Kens. Just returning the favor), Barbies outsmart them (turned them to war. I liked that. Smart), take back full control, and they change NOT A SINGLE THING FROM THE START except the Kens can have one LOW LEVEL representative. Were Kens the good guys? NO. Were the Barbies? FUCK NO. So cheering on it going back to the same is….sad. Kens-still no where to live, no voice in government, nothing has improved. I just feel like that ending was saying ‘Hey. A world where women treat men exactly like men treat women would be better, but they would oppress in a similar fashion, but it would be better!’ is a weird fucking message to end on. I just wanted the men to get housing, and SOME in government (not many. I’ll admit-they went nuts, but when you have NO power and are given ALL power-you go crazy.)

That’s what I loved/hated about this movie. They went into the lore, but then at the same time went ‘fuck lore. Our house, our rules’ so they could do anything, but explain NOTHING. Like my fav DUMB/GENIUS moment in the movie was when Farrel, lead of Mattel, is trying to explain why Barbie coming to the real world is not a good thing and all (ALL) he says is ‘It’s just bad! It’s a bad thing!’ Loud, over and over, arms flailing. So they CLEARLY wanted to gloss over that. Which is cool but…that’s like an ace up the sleeve: you can only play that card SO many times before we know you’re cheating.

The END ending was….ultra meta. Go watch andy weir’s the egg on youtube. No joke (NO JOKE) that philosophy/spiritual concept matches….like…..60% with the ending (more visually if you watch the right one). It’s a MIND fuck. Summary: her creator says she’s an immortal idea, wanting her to live every life, but she wants to go down and live her single life. For her. Her way. Girl power. Lol It’s…awesome. Then they end with a FANTASTIC punchline out of nowhere that I REFUSE to ruin. IT’S A PERFECT ENDING JOKE. PERFECT, I TELL YOU!

So I gotta say: not what I expected, but only in the best of ways. I knew it would be funny, but not THAT funny in THAT many ways. Ultra political/social on many issues, and I was cheering on every one. Toxic masculinity sucks, self doubt (and a society that pushes it) sucks, men can cry, crying feels good for everyone if done right. Like, SIMPLE things MANY ADULTS do not admit to. That’s why I like this movie: appear like it’s for kids, market it for adults, simple for kids, cuz SOME ADULTS DIDN’T LEARN AS FUCKING KIDS. This is what I call a smart dumb movie. It dumbs down smart stuff for dumb people, but, keeps enough smart stuff in for smart people so they don’t feel like it’s one big fucking lecture. Cuz it is in a way. We all need to change, and this movie pushes that narrative. Fuck one of my fav quotes that I already posted was how all life is is change…

Barbie: 8.9/10.

(Not a 10/10 because the singing and dancing was not my thing, and outside the very opening & dance/fight number, it felt unnecessary. Also the plot holes/ending. Seriously, I would’ve given it a near perfect despite everything else, but the fucking ending of Barbieland. She SAYS she’s not a fascist <tho she admits they control the currency….>, but an oligarchy by any other name is an oligarchy. Seriously. And then they shrug off the years of shunning Weird Barbie. Just….this movie felt like ‘girl power! Don’t hate anybody. BUT you can treat people less than you if they’re not a Barbie.’ WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THAT!? If I was a kid trying to find a moral lesson in this, it would be an aneurysm can be caused by a movie.)

Fav part? The entire lecture(s) (WAY WAY too much to quote. I was going to, but it encompassed good part of like 5-10 minutes. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT TAKES TO TYPE?) the mom gave to the brainwashed Barbies. I have never wanted to be a woman: biologically to socially speaking, you guys are treated, worldwide, second to men. I actually believe the average bigot is more hateful to a woman than to someone of a different race. I understand why (see above. Men are conditioned by other stupid fucking men.) But….I swear to you on my soul….her original lecture (then with her added mini lectures added in) gave me the weirdest…pride. Like, I always knew you guys have it bad. As I said: I HAVE NEVER wanted to be a woman (and I am even talking if only biologically speaking. God dam, you got the short end of the stick. Periods, cramps, menopause, pregnancy. More prone to a lot of cancers. Dying at birth!? HOLY FUCK!!! Side note-USA has THE HIGHEST pregnancy deaths for a first world nation.) But….this movie made me realize the…benefits to being a woman. I NEVER SAW ANY. You guys love more than men, by far. Help more than men, by far. But are treated so fucking poorly and…I don’t know why you don’t rise up and kill a few billionaires. YOU ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE. Lol Just…I dunno. I always knew what GOOD women brought to the world. I just could never appreciate having pride being a woman when it’s so-fucking-difficult in this world we live in. But I get it now, I think. Maybe because of how unbalanced this plane of existence is to women, when they get thru (not if), there’s a strength few men can attain. Let alone respect. If men can’t do it, they think it shouldn’t be done. I want to say thank you women. I have always tried to appreciate you (except the stupid times I wasn’t), but I guess I never saw/appreciated your female pride. I never liked the word pride. To me, it has be earned. And no one chooses to be a woman. But maybe cuz you were forced into birth lotto, and had the odds against ya, you still came out on top, ya know? I dunno. I just….few things actually INSPIRE me anymore, and that did. It was saying something I deep down knew, but needed it said in a monologue so I could see the whole picture. Cuz I knew everything she said, but I guess when it is ALL laid out, you feel the weight of the whole blanket of the concept instead of a corner. Kudos. I am glad this movie exists. I think it will help a lot of people. Sadly, one of them being the pro-Israel Mattel male CEO a lot…

and I’m not gonna go off on the Israel thing. Just…it’s like being pro-USA: it just means innocent people are going to get hurt for greedy people. Weird note to end on but fuck you; my blog. I’m a Barbie bitch! Lmfao That will piss of some CIS straight white guys being I’m one of them…for now. WHO KNOWS> Maybe the movie made me GAYYYYYYyyyyy. Lmfao No. The whole time I was more focusing trying to remember where I knew everyone from: FUCK TON of famous people in this movie.  HAHA. Should make a Barbie bingo to play during this movie. Not a bad idea…

[an-emotional-blender]

Calum Hood - Make Me Feel Okay

This is the first smut I've ever written so please tell me if it's shit. This is also the longest one I've ever written so hopefully you enjoy xx

Blurb // Masterlist

3.1k words

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God. Do they ever shut up? All I hear all day, every day is their loud, obnoxious fucking voices. I can't stand them.

"Y/N!" Ignore him. "Y/NNNNN"

"Oh my gosh what do you want?" I rush out, probably a little more aggressively than I should have but he just gets on my nerves.

"Woah. Calm down, sunshine. " Ryan walks over to me, standing behind as he leans down and puts his hands on the table either side of me, trapping me against him. "I just want to ask what you think."

"About what, Ryan?"

"Were you really not listening?"

"I try not to. Your voice gives me migraines." He now leans down lower, so his mouth is hovering over my ear, his voice low as he whispers.

"Ouch. You wound me. Kinda hot." I shiver with disgust as he stands up and winks at me before sitting down next to Stacey. "We were talking about what we're gonna do to that weird Asian kid today."

I roll my eyes at him and take a bite of my sandwich as anger boils up inside me. "Why don't you just leave the poor kid alone?" The whole table erupts in fits of laughter and I just stare at them, waiting for them to stop. "I'm serious! What did he ever do to you? He actually seems like a really cool kid." Stacey snickers before turning to me, popping her gum and sticking it underneath the table. Gross.

"Do you like your spot on the dance team?" Fuck, here we go.

"Yes, Stacey. I do." I reply with annoyance evident in my tone.

"Well then I suggest you shut your stupid little mouth before it gets you kicked out. I will not have someone on my team that thinks people like him are "really cool". Understand?"

"Whatever." With that, I walk away to my next class.

They're a bunch of low life assholes who need to get a fucking life. They make everyone miserable. Including me.

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The final bell goes, signalling the end of the day, but I stay in my seat because my teacher is a bitch and gave me detention for no apparent reason.

Did I mention she's a bitch?

Luckily, I'm able to use my immaculate grades against her and she releases me after 15 minutes. By now most people have left the grounds so the halls are empty as I walk to my locker. As I walk closer, I start to hear yelling and what sounds like…sobbing? What the fuck?

As I turn the corner, I see my 'friends' surrounding someone, as they crouch on the floor sobbing. I get closer to them and see it's Calum, the 'weird Asian kid' they were talking about earlier.

Those fuckers.

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

They all turn and look at me. Shocked.

"Why do you care so much?" Stacey asks in her usual annoying, high pitched voice.

"Cause he's a human being and quite frankly I am so fucking sick of you lot walking around like you're top shit. You are a self intitled douche bags that are going to be very fucking lonely in life. Now walk away before I break your stupid fucking faces."

They're scared. They should be. They better fucking run. And they did.

Good.

Crouching down to Calum's height, I move his hair away from his face and wince when I see the damage they've done.

"It's okay. I'm gonna help you."

He looks at me. There are tears in his big, beautiful brown eyes.

"I'm gonna make you feel okay."

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I brought Calum to my house so he could shower and I could clean him up. He was a little bit hesitant but I kept reassuring him that I'm not like others. I want to help him.

I hear the water turn off as I enter my bedroom with clothes for him to change into.

Knocking on the bathroom door, I call out to him. "Hey, I got you some of my brothers clothes since yours have blood on them." I wait a few seconds before the door opens slightly and his arms comes out, taking the clothes, and I hear a faint thankyou as he closes the door again. "Once you're done, let me know and I'll have a look at those cuts on your face." I wait a few moments and get no response so I keep talking to fill the silence. "Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened. I tried to get them to stop but they're assholes and I didn't kn-"

"It's fine. It's not the first time they've done it." The bathroom door flies open and I see Calum standing there, less bloody and his head towards the ground.

"How bad is it?" I try to keep my voice level and calm as to not scare him, but when I don't get a response, I put a finger under his chin and lift his head up, cringing at the cuts, grazes and bruises all over his tan skin. "Shit, Cal. I'm so sorry. Here sit on the edge of the bathtub and I'll clean these up properly so they don't get worse." He remains silent as he sits down and I start to rummage through the cupboards looking for rubbing alcohol and patches to keep his wounds together. "This is going to sting."

"I know. My sister normally does it for me." I don't say anything, in fear that my voice would fail me, and continue to patch him up. For the first time since I brought him here, his eyes meet mine and I halt my movements. "Why are you helping me? I mean I know you don't like the people that did this to me but surely you have something better to do than patch up the 'weirdo Asian kid' as they so eloquently call me." He chuckles quietly and my heart breaks. "I'm not even Asian but I mean why would such a pretty, popular person like you even wanna be seen with me?" His eyes fill with sadness as he speaks and it takes me a moment to find the words to reply to him.

"Well, I feel as though I have an obligation to help you so you don't think I'm a total monster." I pause and look directly into his eyes and lose all ability to think. "You have really pretty eyes holy shit."

He laughs and looks at the ground again before look back at me. "Well, you have really pretty everything." I feel my cheeks start to blush and see the pink tinge on his face start to match mine as well. I become extremely aware of how close our faces are and decide to do something about the tension that is currently building in the room.

"Calum?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?" His eyes widen slightly and I see his adams apple bob before he nods.

Not wanting to scare him, I softly put my hands on either side of his face before leaning in to close the gap between us. His lips are soft against my own and he quickly melts into the kiss. Wanting to deepen it a little bit more, I slide my hands up to his hair, tangling my fingers in his soft locks, causing a soft moan to escape his lips. Taking this as a sign to try and deepen the kiss even further, I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. He parts his lips enough for me to slide my tongue into his mouth, moaning in the process at how good his mouth feels against mine.

Much to my dismay, he pulls away and looks at me almost panicked, breathing heavily. "I- I've never done this." His voice is weak and almost embarrassed at the confession, as he drops his head. It makes me giggle and I lift his head to meet my eyes once again.

"I kinda figured that much. But that's okay. I can help you, if you want." I can feel my heart start to beat faster as I start to think about what I just said. Who tf offers to take someone's virginity after their ex-friend group beats the shit out of him? "I'm sorry. That was a stupid suggestion. You can go if you w-" I'm cut off again by Calum standing up from the edge of the bathtub and smashing his lips against mine. I'm taken off guard by his sudden height change, since he's quite a bit taller than me.

"I want to. Please." I can't form words as he continues to kiss my lips and pulls away to elaborate. "Make me feel okay."

We start making out again as we make our way to my bedroom and I silently thank the fact that my family decided to go on holiday without me. As we reach the bedroom, I gently push Calum on the bed, climbing onto his lap after he situates himself against the headboard. "What do you wanna do?" I speak softly against his lips, wanting to give him the choice of what we do.

"C-can you…" he hesitates but looks down at his lap so I get the idea of what he wants.

"You want me to suck you off, Cal?" I only get a small nod and 'mhm' in response. "M'kay, baby." I press my lips to his and start to trail down to his jawline, pressing light kisses against his tan skin as I play with the hem of the shirt he borrowed from my brother, pulling it up over his head, and throwing it to the floor. I have to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning as my eyes fall on his toned abdomen.

I press light kisses down his body, paying extra attention to his abs, drawing a moan out of his mouth as I reach the top of his pants. His breath hitches as I pop the button of his skinny jeans and pulling them down his long legs. I start to palm him through his boxers, making him let out a loud moan. Palming him makes me realise how big he is and I suddenly become very eager to see him. Pulling down his boxers, his dick springs up against his stomach, making him hiss at the sudden cold air. Fuck he's even bigger than I thought. I start to palm him again, making sure he's fully hard before he stops my actions.

"Y-You have too many clothes on." Sitting up properly, he puts his hands under my shirt, pulling it over my head and going straight to undoing my bra. "Fuck. You're so beautiful, holy shit." He mumbles under his breath, pressing light kisses along my collarbone. I start stroking his dick again and his head falls back, hitting against the headboard, as moans fall from his mouth.

Bringing my head down, I suck gently on his tip before taking all of him in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down at a steady pace. I moan around his cock as he lets out a loud, pornographic moan and the vibrations go through him, making him buck his hips up, hitting the back of my throat and making me gag.

"Shit sorry. I-I didn't mean to do that. It just felt so good that-fuuuuck." His rant is cut short by me deepthroating him so that my nose is against his pelvis. "Shit, Y/N. I'm gonna cum." I quickly pull off of him, making him whine and swear at me.

"I don't want you cumming until you're inside me, Cal." He looks at me and gulps as he processes my words but doesn't respond to me. "Are you ready for that or do you want something else?"

"I-I wanna taste you." Without hesitation, I lay down next to Cal on the bed as he gets between my legs. "What do I do?" He looks shyly at me as he asks and I can’t help but giggle at how cute he is. Grabbing a hold of his hands, I bring them to each of my thighs.

"Whatever you think will make feel good, baby." His hands start caressing my thighs, his thumb rubbing circles into my skin with just the right amount of pressure. He leans forward and starts kissing at my neck, sucking and biting as he makes his way down my body, leaving hickies here and there. He then starts kissing up and down my thighs, getting agonisingly close to my heat before moving back up. "Cal you are really driving me insane here, holy shit."

"In a good way?" He mumbles against my skin, hands getting closer and closer to where I need him most.

"In an amazing fucking way." I'm caught off guard as I suddenly feel his thumb run through my slit, brushing against my clit. I moan his name and he looks at me with a smug look on his face and does it again. I start to whine as he takes his hand away only to replace it with his tongue. "Holy fuck, Cal that feels so good." He continues licking stipes up and down my slit then starts flicking his tongue on my clit, sending me into a frenzy.

He drags his index finger along my entrance and, while still going ham on my clit, looks up at me to get my permission. I quickly nod at him wanting nothing more than to feel his fingers inside me. He slowly pushes his finger inside me and sets a fast pace. Feeling me clench around his one finger, he adds a second, making my back arch off the bed. I then start to feel that blissful feeling bubble inside my stomach. "Calum, I'm gonna cum, fuck I'm gonna cum so hard." His fingers start going faster inside of me and he starts sucking even harder on my clit.

Just before I let go, he stops. Pulling his fingers out of me and stopping the movements of his mouth, he sits up and kisses me sloppily as I whine at him for stopping when I was so close. He looks at me and chuckles before mocking me with my own words from earlier. "I don't want you cumming until I'm inside you, baby." I roll my eyes at him before flipping us over so I'm straddling his waist again.

"What happened to Mr Shy Virgin Guy?"

"He's long gone baby." He still has that stupid smug smirk on his face and he looks at me and I see nothing but adoration and lust in his once sad eyes.

"Not yet he's not." He looks at me slightly confused, until I start stroking his cock and rubbing it against my folds. "He's still a virgin."

"Well, we better fix that shall we." I look him directly in the eyes and sink down onto him as we both let out loud moans. My hands are on his shoulders and his on my hips as I start bouncing up and down on him, my boobs bouncing in his face. He takes advantage of this position and takes one nipple in his mouth, then switches to the other.

Due to this being his first time and him teasing me, we are both very close to reaching our highs already. I clench around him and he bucks his hips making me moan against his skin as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Do that again. That felt so good." He thrusts his hips up again repeatedly, matching my rhythm and soon we're both moaning messes, riding out our highs together as I fall limp against his glistening body.

After getting cleaned up, we lay in my bed, my head against chest and his arm around my waist. We both stare at each other, content, then suddenly I hear my doorbell ring. I get up, putting my dress back on and go and see who's at the door. Standing there is the douchiest douchebag ever to exist in douchville, Ryan Ascot. I scowl at him as he just invites himself into my house turning around and looking at me expectantly.

"What do you want, Ryan." Annoyance and anger is evident in my voice and I hope he picks up on the fact that I don't want him here.

"I came to see what that little show was about earlier. Why were you sticking up for that weirdo?" His voice just makes me wanna punch him in the face.

"It wasn't a 'show', dickface. You are just an entitled prick. He has never once done anything to you. Has he?" I look at him waiting for an answer and, surprise surprise, he can’t give me one. "He is a nice person and doesn't deserve anything you guys have done to him. Now please leave." I step to the side and wait for him to leave but instead he just walks up to me and stands super close to me, leaning down so he's close to my face.

"I don't think you actually want me to leave, Sweetheart. You know I can make you feel good. Make you forget this ever happened." I'm just about to say something as I hear a deep voice emerge from behind Ryan, making me smile.

"I think she asked you to leave mate." Calum stands at the top of the stairs, with no shirt on, looking incredibly hot and smug.

"Oh really. What are you gonna do about it weirdo?" Calum walks up to us and I realise for the first time that Calum is actually taller than Ryan and now that he's found his confidence, he looks like he could actually take on Ryan.

"I'm not gonna fight you. I'm just gonna make you sit there and listen to me absolutely destroying her the way you wish you could and the way I was 10 minutes ago." He has a smirk on his face and I can tell that he means every word he says. "So you gonna leave now?" Ryan doesn't move. "Righto well we're gonna go back upstairs. You can either make yourself at home and listen or you can get lost. Your choice." With that, Cal grabs my arm and pulls me back upstairs.

I have no clue if Ryan left or not but I do know that we went two more rounds and Calum did in fact absolutely destroy me.