#ignoring all of it when really they're just both repressive

[pathsofoak]

Newt recognizing Thomas is in a place comparable to where he has been with his mental health and keeping him close with the very kind of hope Thomas gave him first so he can't sink further my beloved

[desafinado]

Hello! I really love your writings, they're lighthearted and interesting to read. I also love your characterization for the characters! Would it also be alright for me to request some fluffy domestic headcanons for Alhaitham or Kamisato Ayato with their s/o as their wife? Thank you and have a nice day! <3 <3 <3

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 happily ever afters (?)

°｡⋆ alhaitham, ayato x reader (separately)

°｡⋆ sickening fluff, nicknames/pet names galore, suggestive (omg)

note: hi hi! thank you so much for your support and feedback !!! as for your request, why not both! hope this satisfies your domestic/fluffy desires !! also… i like framing marriages as happy endings with a question mark, because i think that pretty much encapsulates my perspective on it. you hope it is a happy one and you’ll strive to make it such, but you’re never gonna be certain of it.

(alhaitham, ayato) | (zhongli, diluc, kazuha)

alhaitham ♡

i’m desperately thinking malewife, and i will bc these are my hcs so damn it.

he didn’t completely quit his job, but if you work as well… expect him to be babying you just the tiniest bit.

he made a promise to take care of you so he very much will.

cooking breakfast/dinner when he notices you coming home a bit more tired.

buying groceries (most importantly, your favorite snacks) while he's out.

leaving little notes around the house whenever he has to leave for work (whether it be a few hours or days).

you can also expect him to rant more nonchalantly, aka welcome the inner sanctum of his thoughts he must repress in front of higher ups in order to be “polite”.

“i mean what kind of buffoonery must you partake in to even have that idea? the mental gymnastics you must do in order to get from point a to point b is-” “dear, breathe and drink this tea for a second.”

in turn, you’re also often the one to keep him in and check and remind him of his own needs (whether it be emotional or purely basic like eating and sleeping).

in relation to this, you’ve implemented cuddle breaks where if you feel he’s going too far and in too deep, you can drag him into a cuddle session for an hour.

he’s usually silent the whole time, but you can see the clear progression from him grumbling about it to melting into your arms.

also they rarely ever last for just an hour and sometimes it might even escalate (suggestive yes) if he's feeling particularly clingy.

lets address the elephant in the room, alhaitham has been touch-starved for most of his life, so you coming in and giving him all the affection (with no question or judgment whatsoever) is the best thing that has happened to him.

his little smile when you hug him from behind or leave a kiss on his forehead.

anyways, back on track, most people don’t even realize you two are married but you both don’t really care either. it's just funny to hear/see their reactions.

“dinner with someone you're calling your beloved? yeah sure, that’ll be interesting” “you can disrespect me, but i will [redacted] if you so much as think about disrespecting them.”

living individual lives doesn’t stop either of you from being particularly clingy though… whether it be you storming into alhaitham’s office demanding for him to just hold you tight or alhaitham skipping work to have you kiss all his stress away.

you’re both pretty upfront about your emotions, because you don’t want to lose anything to miscommunication… (even if sometimes, it might be a bit embarrassing)

at the end of the day, you two are married… and he couldn’t have asked for a better partner to lay himself vulnerable to.

how can you say no when his eyes are practically speaking for his heart; a vision of longing and yearning so crystal clear. you’re running a hand through his hair, and as every second passes he only leans in to your touch. he looks up at you for a second, debating whether or not he interrupt the comfortable silence; he eventually looks back down, but you’re not one to ignore that and brush it off.

“my love, what is the matter?”

another moment passes before he finally gathers the courage to say the words trapped in his throat.

“i know we’ve been over it, but i can’t believe i’m yours… and you’re mine. i’m just thankful, is all. i hope i can always be the one you can rely on, as you are to me.”

a minor blush dusts his cheeks as you giggle softly at his flustered state. it wasn’t unusual, but it certainly made you feel happy, being able to fluster the stoic and pragmatic alhaitham.

“and you are, my love. celestia could send rains of fire and stampedes of thunder, and i would only ever run to you. i’ve entrusted my soul to yours, whether you know it or not, and you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

ayato ♡

lord kamisato, this. lord kamisato, that. he does not care, he will take time out of schedule specifically for you and only you.

because no one could compare to the way you call his name, when you wake up first thing in the morning, your voice still groggy, or while you’re both walking in the garden and you spot a beautiful flower.

you specifically request him not to make you any food though, because there's a 20% it will be inedible (the chances are low, but never zero)

instead, he’ll order your favorite pastries and have them delivered every morning in time for breakfast.

once he leaves for work, you both are very reluctant to let go… as if you’re not gonna sneak into his office every hour or so.

having you sat on his lap, arms around your waist while he’s going over documents.

if he has some plans that require him to be out and about, he takes every chance to sneak away and have a secret little moment or two with you.

this only escalates during festivals when his stress levels reach new heights. you steal him away, so you both can actually enjoy the festival the way everyone else is.

hearing him quietly chuckling feels as though you’ve been welcomed into an eternal paradise that only you two know of.

on the rare occasion that you don’t see him the entire day, you change or do things around the house to it feel more like a home for the both of you

ayato’s been complaining about back pain? you spend the day searching for a pillow that fixes that (worse comes to worse, there’ll be a new mattress when he comes home…)

the walls feel a bit bare and drab? you’ll just frame and hang up some of your favorite memories together.

you’ll also often find yourself experimenting with new boba recipes and having him try them all when he comes home; because of this pastime of yours, his favorite milk tea flavor has gone through a variety of changes.

anyways, when he does come home from work, you very much try to leave it outside (unless he truly needs to get things off his chest by venting).

he just wants to spend an evening with you watching a movie, having homemade dinner, or simply cuddling in bed.

the rest of the world fades into obscurity whenever you’re holding him close, face snuggled into his chest.

you’re just whispering compliments and words of comfort, because archons know he doesn’t hear it enough (/srs i feel like he gets used to the courteous praises coming from his colleagues and such for doing a good job, but you telling him how pretty his face is, is simply unmatched)

to hell it be damned, he fought for his marriage to you and he will fight everyday to protect the home you’ve both built together.

“in the kitchen!”

your voice makes itself known as ayato is quick to rush to the kitchen to see what you’re up to. there’s some flour scattered on the counter and floor as well as some unwashed dishes in the sink, and you’re in the middle of it all, giving him an awkward smile.

“i was just trying a new recipe and tried making pearls, i’m sorry about the mess…”

you laugh awkwardly as he only moves faster towards you. the moment he reaches you, he takes both your hands, soft and still covered in flour.

“i’m sure it turned out great. your hard work clearly shows.” he chuckles, bringing a hand up to your face stroking your cheeks. “i think… it’s missing a personal touch though. would you mind?” he closes the gap between you both, his lips barely grazing yours, waiting for your confirmation.

“indeed it does. i’ve missed you… a lot.”

your lips eventually find his and you can’t help the smile that creeps on to your face. its moments like these that you cherish and keep in your heart; these memories of him that belong to you forever more.

requests are open!! please do not repost on other sites.

[suzukiblu]

Another excerpt from the next chapter of "think pink", aka "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it".

"Are you sure about this, Kon?" Tim asks evenly. 

"As sure as I am that you two should come the fuck down here and let me get my hands on you already," Kon replies in a purr, grinning at them both again as he tips his sunglasses back into his hair. "I mean, I can reach you with my TTK, but that never feels quite as . . . personal, you know?" 

They can always talk later, really. 

"Fuck," Tim says, very carefully and very clearly. Then he stalks down the stairs like he's in a cape and Bernard shuts the door and re-rigs the security system and follows after him, and Kon doesn't even get the chance to lean forward before Tim's grabbing his hips and yanking him there. 

Kon is perfectly happy to go. 

"Safeword first, if you have one," Tim says. "Or we can just use traffic lights. Red means stop, yellow means proceed with caution, green means go. Is there anything we definitely shouldn't do or say?" 

Kon leans down and kisses him. 

Like, the other stuff is important and he'll get to it in a second–but getting to kiss Tim of all people is way more important than anything else. 

Tim clearly agrees, since he kisses back. Kon winds his arms around his neck and resists the urge to completely envelope him in his TTK, since that's probably one of those boundary things that they're gonna need to discuss. 

Kon's never actually kissed another guy before, but it doesn't feel as weird as he might've expected it to and frankly he's already finding himself to be pretty impressed with Tim as a first contender. Like, Tim is apparently very good at kissing. He is careful and he is thorough and he is fucking dedicated to the fucking process. He knows exactly how to move his lips and exactly how much to use his tongue and exactly when to bring in his teeth and exactly how to make Kon's entire useless excuse for a brain melt out his goddamn ears with just the tiniest little well-timed nip to his lower lip. It's seriously all Kon can do just to keep up with the bastard. 

Nice, he thinks with a great deal of slightly dizzying feeling, digging his fingers in against Tim's back as they press their bodies closer together and try to eat each other alive. 

Very nice. 

"Okay, wow," Bernard says, watching them intently and sounding a bit impressed himself. "So you two have done this before? Tim, babe, I am hurt that you never previously mentioned making time with Super-boytoy and I demand all the dirty details." 

"We haven't," Tim rasps, pulling back just enough to speak and staring at Kon's mouth as he does. Kon has a weirdly hard time trying to look away from his eyes, so doesn't actually bother to try all that hard to. "Done this before, I mean." 

"Well I very definitely can't tell," Bernard says. "Like, holy shit, you guys." 

Kon is vaguely aware that it's talking time right now, but he just really wants to kiss Tim some more, so he leans forward just a little bit and–

"Tell me your safeword," Tim orders lowly, tightening his grip on Kon's hips. 

"Thirteen," Kon replies reflexively, because he can't ignore that tone of voice from Robin. He doesn't usually do all that much stuff that requires a safeword but, well . . . yeah. Sometimes he does, so he has one. 

Honestly he'd do that kind of stuff a lot more, probably, just . . . 

He just doesn't like doing it with people he doesn't know very well, he guesses. Although that's obviously not gonna be a problem right now. 

There are very, very few people that Kon knows as well as he knows Tim. 

"If you can't speak for some reason but you need to safeword, just tap one of us three times," Tim says. "Got it?" 

"Yeah," Kon says. "What's, uh, your word?" 

"We use 'clique'," Tim says. "Or traffic lights, whichever. And the taps, if we're nonverbal." 

"Okay," Kon says with a careful nod as he files the information away and represses the urge to either lick his lips or just kiss Tim again after all. "Hard no's?" 

"No serious injuries," Tim says. "No humiliation or degradation, no scat or watersports." 

"No choking," Bernard puts in. "And no age play or blindfolds." 

"What about you?" Tim asks while Kon's still processing how quick and matter-of-fact they both just answered that and how weirdly fucking hot it was. Just . . . really weirdly hot, yeah. 

"No, uh . . . no medical shit," he says carefully, not quite flexing his fingers against Tim's back. "Nothing like a lab. Not gonna call anyone any variant of 'Daddy', and don't call me 'kid' or 'pup'." 

"Okay," Tim agrees. "Anything you especially like or want to do?" 

"I dunno," Kon says, then attempts to say "just tell me when I'm doing okay at something" but can't even slightly get the words out. That . . . well. Maybe later he can say that, he thinks to himself. Just–eventually, maybe. "I'm not that fancy, I just want us all to get off and have a good time." 

"Is oral on the table?" Tim asks. 

"Sure?" Kon replies with a shrug. "Although I haven't actually gone down on anyone with a cock before, I don't really know how good at it I'll be. So like . . . yeah, might need a couple tips there when it's my turn." 

"Oh shit, you're like half a virgin, aren't you," Bernard says like it's a realization, and Kon blinks at him in bemusement. 

"Uh, no?" he says, more than a little confused by where the guy got that idea from. "Definitely not a virgin, man, I popped my cherry the first chance I got." 

"No, like–sorry, I just meant you've never sucked cock and you've probably never bottomed before," Bernard clarifies, waving a hand between them. "Although maybe I'm making some assumptions about the kind of girls you've known or what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, so have you?" 

"Oh, that," Kon realizes himself. "Yeah, no, never gotten pegged or anything like that. Or used any toys that way by myself either." 

"Ngh," Tim says. 

"I now very, very desperately want to change that fact," Bernard says. "Or to watch Tim change that fact. Or both of those things, either subsequently or simultaneously." 

"Would that be okay, Kon?" Tim asks carefully. Kon . . . pauses, and just sort of . . . processes that idea, a bit. Somehow the idea of getting fucked that way hadn't really occurred to him as an option that might be on the table here, even with the way the conversation was just going and also the fact that it should've been an obvious possibility anyway, considering. 

Well, he is kind of stupid sometimes. 

"Uh," Kon says, feeling weirdly hot under the collar as he tries to picture Tim getting up between his thighs like that and not sure if his immediate internal reaction is just him being a fucking horndog and a half or something to blame on the existence of pink kryptonite. "Actually, uh. Yeah. Yes. Please?" 

"Ngh," Tim says, and immediately surges in and yanks him down into another kiss. Kon has absolutely no problems with this turn of events and no desire to do anything but kiss him back. 

"Your fucking suit is too fucking tight," Bernard mutters with absolutely no trace of a complaint in his voice. Kon thinks irrationally of that fond tone the guy had used with Tim before and really wants to hear it again. "I think if we actually get you hard enough to play with your presumably invulnerable dick is gonna tear right through it." 

"That has almost never happened," Kon manages breathlessly, and Tim groans into his mouth.

[shortpplfedup]

Ayan being a gremlin to Akk: accurate. Akk being pissy with Aye: also accurate. Getting together isn't a personality transplant operation; they just like kissing each other now they haven't become different people. And people also don't magically know how to be in a relationship, communication and compromise is required. We saw pretty much nothing of established-relationship-post-curse Akk and Ayan in the original series, they literally JUST got together. It's been what, a few weeks in-universe? Maybe a couple months max? Now that they're both starting to heal from their life traumas and out of the pressure cooker of the Suppalo situation and Ayan is reasonably confident that Akk isn't going to end it all, now we are seeing the part where they actually figure out how to be in a relationship with each other (well, some of the early calculus).

These two have ZERO clue how to navigate a relationship. Akk's repressed ass couldn't even acknowledge to himself that he had any kind of romantic inclinations towards anybody until basically moments ago. He is just starting to understand his needs in a relationship through his relationship with Ayan, a person he has never felt the need to people-please with, so yeah, he's salty and snapping. As for Ayan, he's learning that Akk isn't this way because of the circumstances or the environment, he's just like this. He cares about everything and everyone while Ayan cares about what and who he cares about and doesn't really give a rip about the rest of it. There is an intersection there, because what and who he cares about is Akk, but they haven't gotten to that intersection yet where they actually understand what the other person is REALLY asking for. Akk wants Ayan to care more and be less standoffish and more engaged. Ayan wants Akk to care less and be more self-protective and less self-sacrificing.

That general approach is also bleeding into the relationship. Akk wants Ayan to be softer with him (like he was when he was worried he was gonna hurt himself) and Ayan wants Akk to be tougher with him (like he was when he was worried he was gonna tear down everything). It's not an insurmountable problem, but it will require them to use their words, absorb the implications and deliberately alter their behaviours.

Akk's people-pleasing (Ayan's gripe is literally that Akk cares too much about others) and Ayan's self-centredness (Akk's gripe is that Ayan considers himself too much and others not enough) are canon. This is literally what brought them into each other's attention in the first place: Ayan doing whatever he wanted and Akk being pissed about it. Add in that Ayan enjoys riling Akk up for horny reasons and Akk softens whenever Ayan gets affectionate with him. Add in that Ayan has seen in 4k the extreme consequences of Akk's people-pleasing (the literal campaign of terror he rained on an entire school, lest we forget), just like Akk has seen the consequences of Ayan's self-centredness (Thua's anger at Ayan's hypocrisy of staying in while pushing others out).

They just like each other. They haven't become different people. And they now have to learn how to communicate and compromise because liking each other means they care about not hurting each other. Which is one of the themes of the special. One of the things @bengiyo says over and over again on @the-conversation-pod is DICK IS NOT MAGICAL IT DOES NOT FIX YOU. It's why we both bonded over loving drama about staying together more than drama about getting together. This is so intriguing to me, watching this play out, because this is the part romances tend to ignore, either because they end before they get here, or they gloss over here with a time skip. As somebody invested in the intricacies of long-term relationships and the compromises people make or don't make along the way, this is working all over for me.

[oshiawaseni]

Between BkDk, which of them knows they're in love with the other?

A question was asked: Is it just one, is it both, or is it neither? This is my reasoning behind why I think that both of them have realised their romantic feelings for the other.

I'll start with Izuku’s side first, as he is the veteran.

Izuku's been sitting on his feelings for quite some time and repressing them as much as he can, simply just knowing these feelings… exist. Izuku has always loved Kacchan, but I'm talking specifically about the moment he realised what kind of love it was.

I think the moment that really did Izuku in was witnessing the growth in Katsuki's heroic heart for the very first time, during his team's battle in the Joint Training arc. Shiny eyes watched Kacchan's newly perfected teamwork as he fought the opposition while protecting his team and allowing them to cover for him in return.

This change in Katsuki was his heart becoming more like Izuku's, in his efforts to become the top hero that cares about saving and winning equally. He no longer looked down on the action of saving a person, so he no longer looked down on what it meant to be saved by others either. I think this really cast him in a new light for Izuku.

Kirishima: "But it's true it might be the first time we've ever seen him do something like this." (Katsuki protecting others)

As well as planting a seed foreshadowing Bakugou Katsuki Rising, Hori placed the speech bubble over a very bare panel of Izuku watching Kacchan for two reasons: Emphasis that Izuku was also seeing Kacchan's character growth for the first time, and to imply that the change in Katsuki's character that Monoma had just been yelling about was, in large part, influenced by Izuku himself.

The paneling is so genius. It seemed insignificant enough to be ignored by Bones, yet it says so much more than all other panels because it tells a story of the piece in Katsuki that had been missing their whole lives, it’s simplistic emptiness conveying the beauty Izuku saw in him finding it. If Katsuki was changing, maybe Izuku was, too... and this panel was the start of Izuku's admiration evolving into something more romantic.

Izuku watching Katsuki's heroism was an incredibly important moment for them and puts Izuku's view of love in ch.348 into some more context. Because chapter 208 was Katsuki definitely... undeniably sharing Izuku's heart. RIGHT AFTER sending his thoughts to Izuku: "Just keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku!"

".......If it responds to my feelings, at that time, I..."

And not long after JT, we get these unfinished thoughts about WHY Black Whip was triggered and Izuku has been hush about his inner thoughts on Katsuki ever since. (Other than telling Kacchan he doesn't mind being called Deku, if it's too hard to call him Izuku.)

The reason Izuku's emotions were so deeply triggered that day is because Monoma reminded him of the pain he saw in Katsuki's face when he cried to him about ending All Might in DvK2.

The recent anime ending further backs this theory during a montage of Izuku running away from the significant memories he has with his friends. This memory is a very important one to Izuku.

When Monoma triggered him, Izuku felt Katsuki's suffering on a personal level. His precious Kacchan, who had cried to him with that face, had fallen under attack, so by extension, Izuku was being attacked too. That day, Izuku discovered how very protective he is over him. (see also: "Give him back to me!")(see also: Kacchan getting hurt "because of me" to save Izuku was the Vigilante arc catalyst) (see also: Vol 37 Cover Art)

During his Bakugou Katsuki Rising chapter/episode, Kacchan too felt an immense amount of empathy with Izuku, because he refers to the moment he was about to lose Izuku as being "at death's door." Not specifying it was Izuku's death, but death in general. Izuku feels Katsuki's pain. Katsuki feels Izuku's pain. And this attunement with one another makes them both feel immensely protective over each other. Amazing.

So... Izuku has just figured out his feelings... and when asked directly by Kacchan, he runs away from giving him a concrete answer because he doesn't want to upset him with the love and overprotectiveness he feels for Kacchan inside his heart. At this point in the story, Izuku still feels somewhat disliked by him and is scared of Katsuki's potential harsh rejection. I'm sure he was thinking something like "Better to omit the truth and not cause anyone pain." No pain for Kacchan, no pain for him. Hedgehogs can't get hurt if they never lie close to each other, right?

＊* .•° ✿ °•. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ೋღ

With Katsuki, I think he awoke to a new feeling born inside him after he almost lost Izuku. The uncompromising need for Izuku to stay in his life. And his feelings from childhood that he’d hidden deep inside reemerged with the same explosive level of fervour that he’d given Izuku their whole lives, except now when he thought about Izuku, his heart was filled with something… different.

He only realised what those feelings really were at the same time he faced the looming death that was ahead of him. Katsuki was stripped completely bare by AFO and found all that remained of him, which was now staring him straight in the face, the precious piece of him AFO could never touch: Izuku’s and his intense and binding love for each other. There's no other explanation for chapter 362, other than him becoming more aware of both Izuku's and his own feelings. That's why he thought of him in the end, that's why he longed to see him so much.

That's why he wanted his feelings to reach him, to have Izuku in his grasp, at a time when he knew he had no hope to. All For One told him to face his reality. But that reality and Katsuki's wishes are two very separate entities and nothing can come between the love and belief Izuku and Katsuki have for each other. Katsuki would not be broken… and it was his hope that won out.

Edgeshot: "Don't give up, Dynamight! The guy you're waiting for will... Deku will come for sure. That's why I won't let you die!"

Hori revealed on the back of Volume 37 that Izuku is the person Katsuki had been waiting for because... (and this BREAKS ME):

Katsuki had been waiting to be saved by him.

I KNOW, I KNOW. There's a small part of me that's just like "SHUTUP HORI THESE CHAPTERS WERE ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO TAKE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RUB THEM IN EVEN MORE :((" because thinking about all of this hurts like hell.

But I know these lines probably weren’t written to upset those of us who live in a perpetual state of bkdk canon brainrot, and were written so that everyone else, the average "casual" fan, can start to see/accept the love that's between them a little more. I'm sure it's with this kind of intention that he reminded everyone again of who exactly it was residing in Katsuki's heart and whose name it was Edgeshot felt he needed to use to call out to Katsuki with, for the sole purpose of motivating him harder to stay alive. (ily Hori, thanks for the pain.)

As of ch.362, they are both now aware they love the other, Izuku doesn't know yet that it's very reciprocal, but I think Katsuki realised it, and he allowed Izuku's love to overflow him during his delirium, using it as his shield to protect his spirits after the awful things AFO did and said to him. It's devastating that he had to suffer so much to see the truth that had been lying dormant inside his own heart the whole time.

This uncovered truth is why he got back up and acted in the way he knew Izuku believed in most about him. Izuku wasn't coming. But at the very least... he could still become the hero Izuku admires and loves one last time, before it was all over...

"(Never giving up until I get my win is what you always believed in about me,) so I just gotta win, right.... Izuku....?"

Ch.362 felt like Katsuki's answer to Izuku's feelings, an incredibly private moment of him exposing his bare heart for all to see. His final act was an acceptance and reciprocity of the love Izuku felt for him that had been there all along. He was completely run down mentally, physically and spiritually, so he comforted himself by thinking about his special guy.

What provides more comfort than your beloved being right there with you, at your lowest? What greater desire does the heart have than to feel loved by the person it yearningly aches for the most?

Katsuki was only able to see Izuku's feelings because he could finally face and recognise his own.

[mulderscully]

been thinking about some peoples complaints about how the movie handled alex's coming out as opposed to the book.

part of me understands because the movie did sort of neuter this as well as the depth of henry's mental illness, but at the same time i understand why. the movie is already two hours long and tbh if they wanted to do a fully faithful adaptation (which imo is not necessary) it maybe should've been a mini series.

and aside from taking out liam, tbh i still think that all happened just wasn't shown, and the fact that this is why alex has always known he's "lowkey into dudes" i feel like people don't fully grasp what alex goes through in that time after new years in the movie.

not every bisexual person has the same experience, but i can relate to alex pretty well both in the book and in the movie in terms of his sexuality cause they actually are pretty similar.

a lot of times when you're bisexual you just feel like everyone feels this way. you sort of feel like being straight is what being bisexual is, because the idea that others do not experience attraction to the same and different genders sounds... fake. like. i'm not even joking when i say i have a hard time believing straight people exist. i fully, of course, believe gay people exist, but people being straight and not queer at all makes me ??? sometimes, even now that i have identified as bi for over ten years.

then, there is a pretty big difference between knowing you experience same gender attraction from time to time and actively identifying as a bisexual person, as a queer person, a member of the lgbtq community.

bisexuals, to this day, are made to feel like we do not belong by both heterosexual people and our own community (which is why ellen telling alex the b in lgbtq is not a silent letter realllly matters) so sometimes you really do just shut out that part of yourself and choose to see yourself as straight because it's not worth fighting all the biphobia that you face, but it's still a part of you that you are shutting out and repressing, which is what alex was doing with henry the entire time and where his alleged dislike of him comes from in the first place. henry hates how much he loves alex so he's mean to him, alex doesn't understand why henry is mean to him because he wants henry to like him because he ALSO has feelings for him and those things clash.

during the time that henry ghosts him alex has time to evaluate himself, his feelings and his identity. he has the time to say "this is not something that i am going to ignore about myself anymore" and it may not be as magnified as it is for henry because they're in different positions in terms of support systems, it's still powerful.

when he comes out to henry, you can tell he is getting used to thinking of himself as bisexual but you can also tell that he is nervous to say the word, because telling someone you're bi is ALWAYS terrifying because you don't know what they might say to it. on top of that, you can feel that it is important to him to say it, to tell henry who he is now that he understands it.

being bisexual and identifying that way, and that being part of who you are and carrying it in your heart is a different thing than being like "yeah, whatever i'll make out with someone at a party" even if the latter is still a valid way to be queer. and sometimes you just look back and realize that [x] experience was NEVER straight.

and the best part of the movie to me is henry's complete acceptance of this. henry never ever questions alex's attraction to him, he never questions if alex will be able to stay committed to him, if he will leave him for a woman, if he's confused, or any of the things that STILL happen in media with bisexual characters as leads and as a bisexual person that has been one of the most freeing things to watch.

so yes, alex's bisexuality is still very important and handled as such in the film, in my personal bisexual opinion.

[darthlordcommie]

Batman's Relationships with the "Batfam"

Alfred: Technically Alfred is his father-figure, but because Alfred actively chose to remain being Bruce's butler, and repressed his own issues, that just kneecapped Bruce's ability to heal, and enabled his worst impulses. Yes, they love each other, dearly. No, they will not communicate this unless they are on the brink of death.

Dick: I know, there's this whole thing with "eldest son". But first, Bruce was only in his early 20s when he took in Dick. And second, Bruce would have been actively avoiding trying to replace Dick's father, similar to Alfred. Their relationship is of close friends, and it isn't until they're both adults, well over a decade later, that either would even consider using familial terms to acknowledge each other. But that friendship is always the first level of their connection.

Barbara: There was hero worship that quickly died once Barbara got to see more of what Bruce is actually like. But there's still mutual respect and friendship, and Barbara is one of the few people Bruce actively listens to the input of.

Jason: Jason was the second Robin, but he was the first child who could accurately be called Bruce's son. When he meets Jason, Bruce is in a more balanced place in his life, he's on the path of healing, and he's willing to take in Jason not because he recognizes someone who's suffered the same way he has, like with Dick, but because he can help him. There's outright familial affection between Bruce and Jason, in ways we don't see with almost any other Batfam character. And then Jason dies, and Bruce's heart is shattered. Every single relationship Bruce has going forward is informed more by Jason's death than his parents'.

Tim: Tim and Bruce are a student and teacher. In many ways, Tim is Bruce's favorite student, but they aren't seeking family in each other, but that doesn't make their relationship any less deep or important to each other.

Cass: While a lot of comics tend to ignore or forget that Bruce outright adopted Cassandra to prove she would always have a home and family, the greatest truth is that Cass is Bruce's successor. Of all the batfam, she is the one who actively says she wants to take Bruce's place one day, and she believes in the cause of Batman stronger than anyone else. She was given a choice between cruelty and compassion, and like Bruce before her, she chose compassion. She's growing and improving, learning both from her own mistakes and from Bruce's, and ultimately, will be a greater hero than Batman before her.

Stephanie: A Mess. Not familial, but definitely a mess. Mostly because Steph's a victim of Batman writing at the time, and it never really got addressed to offer any improvement to her relationship with Bruce.

Damien: Damien is Bruce's son, but their relationship is fraught to say the least. Between being raised by the League, then Bruce being "dead" and Damien being raised/guided by Dick for a good amount of time, there's a lot of love there, but Damien is a victim of Bruce's decades of emotional repression and trauma in ways none of the other Batfam are, and both struggle to communicate, despite trying their best.

Duke, Luke, and Harper: All of these are colleagues at various levels of connection to Bruce. Duke is a younger vigilante just starting out, and Bruce is a grizzled veteran taking him under his wing, but not outright mentoring him the way he did the Robins. There's respect and teaching there, but not in the same way.

Kate Kane: They're cousins. They argue a lot.

[chocolatepot]

One thing I tend to see really disparate takes on is how much of Stede's presentation is masculine or feminine, and I keep thinking about it. The tricky thing is that of course standards of masculinity have changed between the early eighteenth century and now, and at the same time this production is very much not one that's going to be historically accurate in such a way that it confuses the audience!

So, 1717 masculinity first.

There's a stereotype that prior to Beau Brummell, there was no sense that men should be restrained in dress, but it's not true at all. Even in the 1710s and 1720s, English gentlemen were expected to have a certain soberness in their clothing - portraits show a preponderance of browns, as well as darker blues, greys, and occasionally reds; there's not that much trim, either, beyond buttons and occasionally a line of gold or silver braid. John Blathwayt is among the flashier, with a waistcoat and massive cuffs made out of a silvery damask - but attached to a brown silk (and really, grey-on-grey isn't that flamboyant). To a modern eye, the flowing wigs and stockinged calves relate to women's fashion, but both were symbols of masculinity in the period - women's hairstyles were more contained and natural, and their legs were covered with skirts.

The clothes Stede wears in the scenes set before he goes to sea generally reflect these norms. They're in darker tones, and cut fairly loose and not showing off his body. The orangey-brown anniversary outfit has the lightest colors and the closest fit, and it's still shades of brown and a pretty boxy shape. His cravat is often lacy, which really isn't very masculine for the period, but it's partially covered with a colored tie/secondary cravat - along with his lacy shirt cuffs, that's definitely something that can be read as a small expression of his style/queerness, which he's also half-concealing. In the betrothal scene, his cravat is actually a strangely rough fabric in a light grey, and I think it's tucked into his waistcoat so we can't actually see the ends.

I also want to note that the suit fabric really matches the upholstery in Stede's father's carriage. It's hard for me to not read this outfit as being chosen by Bonnet the elder to repress anything non-masculine about Stede, and also to show him as a possession, just like the carriage. On the other hand, the anniversary suit seems to be the brightest and most fitted, with a contrasting and I think floral-patterned waistcoat, and that was the scene where Stede tries to be more open than he's ever been with Mary about what he likes and wants.

There's a similar thing in the scene where Mary tells Stede to play with Alma and Louis. He starts off reading and ignoring Mary in a plain dark green coat, the ends of his cravat hidden behind his book and the top of it largely covered with a green tie. Then we jump cut to him playing with the kids and he has taken off the plain coat to reveal a patterned, light blue waistcoat (short and fitted), and he's tied the green tie around his head to uncover the white cravat, which is also revealed to have intricate lacy ends. Likewise, when he runs away to sea, he wears a fairly yellow waistcoat, embroidered with flowers - the only embroidery we see on him in the flashbacks apart from a little bit on his nightshirt right before he runs away.

So, how does this compare to what he wears as Captain Bonnet? (Part II)

[allgremlinart]

hai good friend,, tell me about mai. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of her before… look what we are doing to our beautiful queens 😔

YIPEE I love when me going insane about a character for a day makes you curious about them... especially cus atp I can kind of predict what is going to pique ur interest

ok ok: so, Mai. She's 1/3 of Azula's Evil Girl Group, colloquially known as Ozai's Angels, and thats the context you see her in for most of the show which is why it's important to know. You know how all cartoons in the 2000s HAD to have ONE morose goth chic? Well she is atla's quota. She's a noble, she's an only child (THEE only child. The first only child they made at the only child factory <33), she fights with 🔪KNIVES 🔪!!! she's Zuko's canonical comphet love interest and she has a very understated but underrated arc..

Her role/arc in the show:

I mentioned Ozai's Angels because her interactions with Azula and Ty Lee are the real meat and potatoes of her character. They're like... baby's first toxic yuri love triangle <3333 REALLY can't overstate how toxic yuri love triangle they are. Mai and Ty Lee end up betraying Azula in season 3 which is both the climax (imo) of Mai's arc and the inciting action for Azula's descent (but we're not getting into Azula never ask me to get into Azula please). A lot of people reduce Mai going turncoat to JUST being about saving Zuko - and like partially it IS. She saves Zuko from dying because she loves/cares about him and that's a big part of it.

But it's ALSO about her finding her voice ?? Like throughout the show we NEVER see her voice opinions about something unless it's to say that she's bored, or jaded, or what have you. She never seems to have strong feelings about anything; her stated reasoning for joining Azula's Imperialism Girl Band is because she's bored living with her parents 💀 but it's like. It becomes clear to the audience later in the show that she was raised to never speak unless spoken to, to mask emotions, etc etc LIEKKK SHE'S SOOO REPRESSED ONLY CHILD SHE'S SO WOMAN TM... So her telling Azula "I love Zuko more than I fear you" was THEE cuntiest moment EVER because it's like oh shit ?? this is something pretty unexpected from this character ?? Waow so crazy so cunt ??

A lot of people point out that she and Ty Lee never really got a "ohhhh Imperialism is bad" arc like Zuko did but. imo there wasn't a whole lot of room in the show for it lol. Would have been something interesting to explore in the comics for sure !! but uhmmm I'd rather walk into the ocean than watch Gene Luen Yang try and write about imperialism and colonialism again so maybe its better we never got that.. (no offense to him he's just... not that great at doing it in the atla comics...not his strength..)

Her reception in fandom:

She's usually only ever talked about in the context of being Zuko's love interest (either positively OR negatively) hence my post that you saw. Like. Victim Numero Uno of zutara/kataang shipping wars cus at least a bunch of people LIKE Aang whereas people either ignore or actively dislike her.

There's often discourse about like. Who's the "toxic" one in the Mai/Zuko pairing and it's annoying when she gets flak for it cus like newsflash: they both are. My GOD they both are. They've canonically broken up twice. They're the emo boy/goth girl pairing. They're cute together. They're miserable together. They're both homosexual. You get it.

Also a lot of times people just call her boring or emotionless and it's like congrats !! you have fallen for her facade... in conclusion... sorry this is so long uhm.. your fault for asking me though... how long is it going to take until I've just told you the entire plot of this cartoon piecemeal ask by ask...

[embrace-your-inner-kid]

Just want to get my thoughts out for those who could be hurt or annoyed at the "sisters" comment from Laudna. Hopefully they can have a soothing effect because I'm really not shocked at the comment, and it doesn't change any of my thoughts on their current dynamic or the possibility of them becoming romantic in the future. It actually feeds into my theories on Laudna's complicated feelings toward romance in general and her potential complicated feelings toward Imogen (that pause was looong and deliberate lol, and there's been other similar moments when others have poked her about her relationship with Imogen).

Also, ignore all the a**holes who use things like this to stoke their hate, make use of your mute and block buttons and ship and theorize what you want.

I'll put my thoughts under a read more because this might get long.

Ok... so, to start with the obvious, Imogen's feelings are pretty clear at this point, and a number of the Bell's Hells have clocked them.

It's Laudna that is super complicated when it comes to viewing herself as romanceable to anyone, which is interesting because out of everyone in the group she tends to think the most romantically as long as it's not about her. Even letting out some more crass horniness through Pate. She projects a lot, on Pate and also on Imogen. She wants to ensure Imogen reaches her potential and finds fulfillment in her life, everything that was brutally cut short in her own.

I've always got the vibe that Laudna views her life as over/stagnant even though she's technically alive. She's stuck in an undead form, unaging and having to be very careful amongst the general populace, hoping to not draw out their pitchforks. I think she envisions building a life and growing old with a romantic partner as an impossibility, hence shutting down any thought of romance for herself. As Laudna has said, she hasn't accessed that part of her brain in a long time. I think that vault has only been opened recently after Dusk asked her out, and unfortunately, those brief thoughts on romance pertaining to herself with another got twisted with Dusk's betrayal coming shortly after.

Dusk was this unassuming, "normal" being who Laudna would have been parsing having romantic intentions towards her when suddenly it's revealed that they're actually a fey of the Unseelie Court and their intentions weren't true. I think this sent Laudna into a tailspin after freshly opening her brain to romance again. This person who treated her nicely and seemed to have romantic intentions is revealed to have been a lie. That's gotta sting and flare up her insecurities surrounding something she locked away in the first place. I don't think it's a coincidence that she started acting extra flirty and interested in the Nightmare King right after that. I get the feeling that after romance was put at the forefront of her mind, she couldn't close it off again, but with the deceit and betrayal being born from it she only thinks someone more 'monstrous' could ever be interested in her: "an undead nightmare". Hence, the weird Ira moments following Yu's reveal. At least, those are the feelings I have on all that happened.

I don't think a possible romance between Imogen and Laudna is anywhere near off the table. Yes, even after the most recent comment. It's not some automatic dismissal of something ever happening. Unfortunately, it just means waiting longer to find out if it will happen.

Personally, I get the feeling that Laudna is repressing herself and compartmentalizing like she always does. There's been too many weird pauses from Laudna whenever anyone has pressed about the dynamic between her and Imogen. I just don't know when the dam is going to break to get her to face that, and anyone who has been hoping for a kiss or confession really soon probably needs to lower those expectations. I don't get the feeling they're both there yet. I think Laudna needs to realize her own worth, understand the projecting she's been doing, and put the pedestal she has Imogen on away so she can view them on equal footing before she can even start to grasp at any romance there. I get the feeling she doesn't even view Imogen as an option because she views herself as undesirable in that way, especially to someone she views as highly as Imogen.

On the bright side, Imogen is pretty easy to read on the feelings front. We're just going to have to wait and see. In the meantime, don't let anyone rain on your parade and ship to your hearts content. People can try all they want, but this ship is not shut down from happening until the campaign ends.

[eyelessfaces]

fwb

poe dameron x reader

summary: when poe suddenly wants to call off your "arrangement", you can't help but feel like it's your fault, and it is – but not for the reasons you expected.

warnings: mentions of past sex, starts with a sex scene but they're pretty much done.

tags: gn!reader, friends with benefits to lovers, mutual pining, oblivious idiots in love (emphasis on oblivious, on idiots, and on in love), angst, misunderstandings, poe is so silly tbh

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

“–Shit” the strangled word came out of Poe’s mouth as a soft grunt as he emptied himself inside of you, his forehead resting over your shoulder after he collapsed on top of you.

You took a deep breath and cupped the back of Poe’s neck, playing with the damp curls there like you often did when you were done. “What were you saying?” you asked now that you were both finished, his orgasm having interrupted his previous try at a conversation– you yourself were far from your mind to really understand what he was trying to tell you earlier. 

You sensed something felt different when he cleared his throat as he slid out of you, watching him get out of your bed and starting to quickly gather his clothes laid out on the floor.

“I was saying,” he started while sliding into his pants, “We gotta stop this.” he declared looking up at you, closing his belt.

You sat up straight, leaning against your headboard. You weren’t really sure you understood correctly what he was trying to say, because you thought everything worked out perfectly– this little arrangement had been going on for a while and you both were satisfied with it, at least that was what you thought. You watched him buttoning his shirt quickly, it seemed like he had never been in such a rush before.

“We can't do this anymore, I don’t think it’s working” he explained, now avoiding your gaze. He sat on the edge of the bed to put on his boots, and you covered your naked figure with your bedsheets, feeling frail and exposed all of the sudden. 

“Okay” you respected his decision, even though you didn’t understand it. “Is it something I did?” you asked, closely looking at him to try to read any sign over his face as he stood up to put his jacket on.

He finally looked at you. “No” he said shaking his head. He didn’t elaborate. He didn’t say anything else, and he left your room as quickly as it had taken him to take off his and your clothes when he had entered it. 

This wasn’t like him. This wasn’t like him to leave as soon as you were done, and even if you knew he had a meeting planned he usually took the time to stay with you, to clean you up, to talk to you, to hold you.

You lightly cleared your throat as you felt a knot tighten in it, and you repressed the tears that started to threaten your eyes.

You didn’t even know why you felt so bad about this, because you had agreed on this when you made up the rules for your arrangement: we can stop anytime.

But you had never expected it to stop so abruptly and so harshly. And you never expected to feel so hurt about it.

—

The following days after that felt strange.

Surely, the situation would have made this awkward between you, but how would you even know, because now Poe just avoided and ignored you, so it was even worse.

Even though Poe was a busy man, he had always made sure to have some free time to spend with his friends, but the rare times where you had seen him this week were just meetings where he was already out the door once they were over, and missions surely weren't the right time to try to figure out what was up with him.

You tried not to think about it, but deep down you just felt like this whole friends with benefits thing just completely changed your friendship with Poe. 

It seemed like a good idea at first, and it had been a good idea until you last talked to Poe, and now everything felt ruined. 

"Ah, here you are," Rey sighed, sliding into the booth across from you. "What's going on with Poe?" she continued, the sound of the name fully ripping you from your thoughts.

You shrugged, tapping the tip of your fingers against your glass. "I don't know, what's going on with Poe?"

"He isn't talking. You know how he can never shut his mouth usually, well now it's hard to get a word out of him" she looked truly worried. 

"I talked to Finn and asked him to talk to him to find out what's wrong, you know a little heart to heart from man to man, but then Finn said it wasn't truly our business but yours." she said shrugging. "So please fix this. It's starting to worry me"

"What?" you frowned, utterly confused. "This is about me?"

"That's what Finn told me" she continued, before you could overthink all of this. "He wouldn't tell me more, but he knows something I don't, and apparently something you don't either, judging by your face" she said softly smiling at you, a smile of compassion. 

You frowned and chuckled in incomprehension before taking a sip of your drink and getting up. 

"Do you know where he is right now?" you asked quickly sliding on your jacket, needing to get out of the cantina and find Poe as soon as possible.

"In the hangar, fixing something on his ship" she nodded. "Trying to."

—

On your way to the hangar you ran into Finn. You only realized he was there when he put a hand over your shoulder asking why you were in such a hurry. 

When you explained what Rey told you he laughed, and when you told him not to because you were worried about what was going on with Poe he just told you you were the only one who could fix it, which made you even more worried.

"He feels bad because he's in love with you and he feels like he fucked everything up by calling off your deal." he explained. "Why didn't anyone tell me there was officially something going on between the both–"

"Poe’s in love with me?" you cut him off ignoring the rest of what he had told you, feeling your heart skip a beat as you worded it out. 

"I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you this but oh don't tell me you're that oblivious." he rhetorically asked, crossing his arms. "Half the base knows it and you’re part of the other half?"

You chuckled and readjusted your position on your feet. "Well maybe because his big mouth told half the base and forgot to tell the one in question" you said, smiling a bit because this was such a Poe thing to do.

“Not so surprising. Go fix him” he encouraged you, giving you a pat on the shoulder before you smiled up at him and made your way towards the hangar.

—

"How's it going?" you called, seeing Poe fiddling with something on one of his X wing reactors.

He turned at the sound of your voice.

"Hey" he exhaled softly, his face slightly lighting up at your sight. "It's beyond my knowledge, I'll need a mechanic for this" he sighed, patting the side of the turbine.

"Can't be good at everything" you said shrugging with a playful smile. He tried to lean against his ship but almost fell when he realized it wasn’t as close as he expected it to be. He quickly found balance back and you repressed a laugh.

"Yeah" he let out a stupid chuckle, shaking his head.

"Haven't seen you much this week," you teased, leaning against the wall behind you, crossing your arms.

"Uh, yeah" he nodded, wiping away the dirt on his hands with an old rag. "I've kinda been avoiding you" he explained, throwing the piece of cloth away.

"I could have guessed"

"Hey, I'm sorry." he pleaded, turning to you. "I acted like an asshole the other day, that wasn't cool" he said giving you a small apologetic smile. You looked down at your feet and smirked as you looked back at him.

"So is it true what I heard?” you asked, tilting your chin towards him. He whispered a small "shit" under his breath when he understood what you were talking about, and scratched the light stubble on his cheek. "Yeah" he put his jacket back on, and you took a step closer to him.

“Yeah?” you questioned, raising your eyebrows. 

“Yeah” he repeated, chuckling. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, almost offended that even people you didn’t know were made aware that Poe Dameron was in love with you.

“I wanted to, I promise you” he declared, nodding. “But the other day I panicked and I just got angry instead of confessing and we were in the middle of something so I wasn’t thinking straight honestly” 

“Wait.” you spoke before he had the chance to add something. “You were gonna confess while we–”

“It was that good.” he cut you off, pointing a finger at you. 

You laughed and shook your head slowly.

“Damn it Poe Dameron.” you muttered, biting your lower lip.

He took a step closer to you and put his hand over your shoulder, just like Finn did not so long ago. 

"Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything from you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, you can just forget what you heard and what we just said but you’ll have to live with the fact that I’ll be heartbroken my whole life.” he said with a small smirk on his face, and you scoffed and hit his arm playfully. 

“Poe come on, you're an idiot." you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. "And I’m the one being called oblivious.” you mumbled before kissing his cheek. The tickling of his light stubble felt nice against your lips. You couldn't see it but a proud smirk appeared on his face, and he kissed your cheek back.

"Actually I knew it." he smiled, leaning to kiss your cheek once again. "No one's immune to the charm of that thick and round backside" he whispered into your ear, and you laughed and hit him playfully once again before breaking your embrace, making your way out the hangar with a desperate smirk on your face.

"Oh come on. Don't deny it!" he shouted in the distance, walking behind you. "And you gotta kiss me now that I know you have a crush on me"

You rolled your eyes playfully and couldn't help but smile. “Later if you behave. Come on, we have news for the whole base” you said looking back at him before he jogged up to your level and kissed your temple. 

You wrapped an arm around him and kissed him back at the same spot, and you swore you had never seen him smile so wide at that moment.

—

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star wars taglist: @apollo-enthusiast @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @beccabecs521 @welcometostayingawake

feedback is always appreciated :))))

[metacrisisdoctor]

tentoorose & the gift of domestic life

in my personal opinion it's kind of deeply simplistic to say that tentoorose wouldn't settle down bc they "need" to travel when both of these things are refuted in the narrative multiple times.

i'm gonna go over this under the cut.

to start this conversation somewhere let's start with how tip/tsp is all about them not needing the tardis and travel as long as they're together, and how losing it would be hard - but they'd still be happy on any random planet because being stuck together isn't so bad - the foundation to their life in pete's world is laid here. this is really massively important because you can see that rose saying this touches the doctor, because it's him realizing that it's him that she loves and not what he offers her. if you take the doctor avoiding the subject as him dismissing it instead of him wanting something he thinks he cannot have, then you are misunderstanding the intention behind it.

it's a beautiful culmination when he literally and metaphorically allows himself to fall later in these episodes. he's asked if he has faith and he says he believes he hasn't seen everything, which is why he keeps traveling. this is left in the air until he faces the devil, without his tardis, so small and seemingly unimportant and the only thing that matters to him is the love between himself and rose. and that love translates into his belief in her; in not only his faith in her ability to also beat the devil, but also in saying that he has seen a lot of the universe and believes in one thing: her, he is saying that he has found all he has ever looked for with rose and if this is his final test; the end of it all-that is fine because he is finished searching even if there is more out there.

that's why him saying "here you are, living a life day after day, the one adventure i can never have." in doomsday is so painful, because it's a vocal confirmation of the reasoning behind his avoidant behavior throughout season two. the depth of feeling he has for rose paralyzes him because he has already lost everything, and now he knows he has found a home with her that he will also lose.

but it goes even farther than all of that. it goes all the way back to nine in father's day, "street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. i've never had a life like that." that bit of yearning to slow down and just be with rose in one place is already seeping into his being then, and it becomes completely central to his character when he regenerates into ten.

the fact that he wants to settle down to a certain extent, to have a human life with rose, and cannot have it is why he represses his feelings for her after seeing sarah jane - and it's only in the later half of s2 after, poetically, visiting pete's world that he allows himself to start to open up to her a bit despite knowing he will lose this new family he has found someday. even in late season two there is a barrier they cannot cross because of his immortality, not because he doesn't want the things rose does. it's because their life spans do not match and never will, and he would never want her to be immortal because he sees his own immortality as a curse, which we see him state in the lazarus experiment.

people claim rose wouldn't want to settle down either, but it takes a lot of ignoring things rose says in order to make this true, quite frankly. rose loves adventure and travel, but what she really loves is the sense of purpose the doctor has brought to her life by showing her what she is capable of outside the constraints of estate life, as she says "it was a better life. and i don't mean all the travelling and aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. the doctor showed me a better way of living your life." this is something she does not lose in doomsday and it's still not something she loses in journey's end.

and the thing is, we see multiple times that rose wants to settle down with the doctor and pushes it away because she has decided to spend her life at his side. since she knows he cannot do this, partly out of his duty to the univese and partly because he isn't human, she accepts that she never will either. in army of ghosts when jackie asks if she'll ever settle down she looks so sad when she says, "the doctor never will so i can't. i'll just keep travelling." this is such a heavy moment because it shows that this is something rose has considered, something that she does want because if she didn't she would just say so, and something she herself has begun to repress to support him.

not every relationship has to end with a house and kids, but the doctor and rose are a relationship where the foundation to where they got in the end is dangled in front of them, almost cruelly, the entire time. so the idea that them having it would be too boring or something they would feel isn't enough for a fulfilled life is misunderstanding what their relationship was about in the first place.

do i think they still do alien things? of course. do i think they travel? of course! do they still have a home to come back to? a family to have christmas with? a life to live side by side until they're old and grey? of course. those things do not go against each other. settling down doesn't mean they don't have fun, they don't explore, they don't break rules or grow their own tardis. it just means that they get to have an equal and shared life together with a safe place to always come back to for the rest of their lives, which is what they both always wanted.

without understanding all of these things, it dims the tenth doctor's sacrifice in journey's end and leads to people not fully grasping his descent into madness when he is denied this life that he so desperately wants but is denied in this life. in the confidential for journey's end david tennant says, "by gifting rose this other doctor he is not allowing himself to go back." because if tentoo did not exist he would tear apart reality to get her back as the timelord victorious and the only ONLY thing that stops him from doing so is that her happiness is what matters to him, and he knows that tentoo will make her happy because they are the same man with different opportunities who made different choices because the universe showed him the kindness of mortality.

tldr: the doctor and rose love travelling, but they don't need to travel to have fulfilled lives and they never did. that's part of what makes their relationship special and this is part of the canon narrative so much so that there is a song on the season two soundtrack about it.

[h-worksrambles]

James' interactions with Eddie are something I've found myself thinking about a lot since finishing Silent Hill 2. Pretty much every character in the game serves double duty as being fleshed out as individuals, while also serving as a commentary on some facet of James as a character. Maria is the most obvious, but you also have Angela's self loathing and suicidal ideation, which reflects James' own self flagellation through Pyramid Head. Laura echoes many of the regrets James himself feels about his distance and possible neglect of Mary before she died, and throws those thoughts back in his face out of her own anger. By that same logic, I'd argue Eddie is a means for James to confront his denial as well as his capacity for violence.

Eddie comes to Silent Hill on the run after lashing out against those who bullied him since childhood. After being mocked for years due to his appearance and weight, he shoots both his bully, and the bully's dog, and so ends up coming to the town. Like James and Angela, he too committed a crime of passion (assuming Angela did indeed kill her abusive dad as is implied), and all three are trying to come to terms with what they did. Unlike Angela, who knows what she did and has been conditioned by her abuse to blame herself, Eddie is closer to James, seeming to actively deny what he has done. Or at least only sometimes. It's not entirely clear (and I invite anyone to correct me if I'm minsinterpreting) but Eddie seems to experience multiple personalities. He flips between being more aware of his surroundings and past, and more out of it and unaware. Sometimes he's gleefully boasting about how the people he's killed had it coming. Sometimes he's sat eating pizza like he isn't even aware what kind of place he's in. And we see this flip when James confronts Eddie in Toulca Prison, finding him standing over another body. At first he revels in his kill, and rationalises it, before seeming to flip, and attempt to feign ignorance, as if the prior conversation never happened. For all his bravado, I'd imagine the blood on his hands is extremely traumatic, just as it is for James, and this is likely a psychological coping mechanism. With his false memories repressing his past actions and allowing him to deny it, Eddie mirrors James in that respect. As well as how they're both mild mannered people but who are capable of acts of terrible violence when pushed far enough.

What really stands out to me is that every encounter with Eddie is done in a way that allows James to claim the moral high-ground. When James finds Eddie vommiting in the apartment bathroom, he expresses concern. When Laura runs off from the bowling alley, James berates Eddie for not showing more concern for her safety (giving us one of the most iconic meme lines in the series). And most blatantly, James is horrified when he finds Eddie, having just shot somebody dead. Most tellingly he says "You can't just kill someone just because of the way they looked at you!" And yet, isn't that precisely what James did? He killed Mary because of the exhaustion of caring for her in the late stages of her illness. Because of the way she spoke to him. The way she looked at him. James spends all his interactions with Eddie trying to convince himself that he's a good person. A better person than Eddie. But the more he encounters Eddie, the more Eddie becomes a mirror to him. He definitely has his own struggles as a character and makes a very prescient point about what happens when people are constantly rejected, mocked and socially isolated by society, convinced that they are unlovable (in some ways, Silent Hill 2 was making some very relevant points about incel culture in 2001). But he's also a means for James to confront the parts of himself he doesn't like. His frustration, self-loathing, denial and violent streak. When Eddie tells James that they're the same, that they were both called by the town for a reason...he's right.

And ultimately, for all of James' posturing, all his denial, all his attempts to be the moral voice of reason, James still ultimately ends standing over Eddie's corpse.

Once again, he's killed another person. And confronting that side of himself one of the last things he does before arriving at the Lakeview Hotel and being forced to fully accept the truth...

[scuderlia]

GIRLESTAPPEN 💕💕🩷💖💖 ok. who makes the first move? are they the only girls and gays on the grid or are there more... what do they wear in the paddock? if there is girl charles is there girl chiss [gets dragged off stage]

girlestappen eventually cringefail their way into a relationship by doing what they do best: being weird about each other and ignoring the obvious tension between them until they can't anymore! i think in a traditional f1 au max is out and idgaf about her sexuality and charles is, on the cusp of realizing that she's a lesbian and DOESN'T actually fuck with men like that. she just hasn't put two-and-two together quite yet.

but basically, charles rocks up to the paddock in 2018 and is hit with the girl she grew up karting against being a terror on the track to all these men, beating them in many cases, and also looking... hot? (little dotted circle swirling in charles' brain) and she doesn't really know how to cope so she goes with what she knows: repressing the feelings and being incredibly normal (not normal) about it. for a long time.

random hcs under the cut:

when they finally get together, lando is their strange little guy friend who follows them around and is like ALLY but also half his jpg account is just. inexplicably. photos of them like, kissing at the club. everyone thinks it's weird but no one mentions it.

if max somehow wasn't out before getting to f1 she probably came out in a [waves hand] unintentionally dramatic way. like she made a gay joke, got cancelled on the internet for it, and then her statement was: I Am Actually Gay.

charles has her world turned upside down and inside out when she properly finds out max likes girls for the first time. it weighs on her so heavily she spirals and sleeps with [waves hand again] pierre or carlos or someone and it's terrible and max is completely oblivious to the fact that charles is #goingthroughit.

girlestappen are still butch4femme. they always will be to ME.

all those bizarre interviews with like, lewis and seb saying strange things about grid girls and girlfriends to max and charles in 2018/2019 still happen, but there's an added layer of what the fuck did he just say? the youtube comments are either: wow, they're so woke for asking max about liking girls on a public broadcast OR i can't believe seb actually said that about grid girls with charles sitting right there. does he hate women?

everyone should send a prayer out into the world for carlos sainz, who has had [checks notes] both of his girl teammates come out as lesbians. this begs the question: is it him? is he that bad? the italian press run articles on it weekly.

wherever charles goes, chiss will follow. obviously.

[starscelly]

here’s my thing with 42455….. this is actually too long. many thoughts below 👇

we already have Seen roope be obsessed with miro for YEARS. he’s such a bitch (affectionate) but then it comes to miro and he’s like. he’s in such good shape ^.^ he’s so good both ways ^.^ he’s the best d in the world ^.^ he’s the most attractive finn on our team ^.^ he’s so good at so many things ^.^ he’s too nice ^.^ and you get miro's half hearted media answers in response. NOW you add harls into the equation who is dropping CRAZY affectionate quotes abt miro. he is not afflicted by the finnish mafia repressing emotions gene. he is very american about it. loudly proclaiming his love (for his game), how he amazes and dazzles and shocks etc etc literally groaning (positive) when asked about it. harls who literally like. chases miro down during breaks around the bench to yap at him and make him giggle.

now. miro is. the least interesting person to do media ever SORRY sorry he is very "get pucks in deep" core. you dont get as delicious quotes. what DOES he do? he giggles!!! he giggles and he expresses!!!!!!! which. yes he throws out a laugh or a fun expression for all of his teammates every once in a while. but he is ALWAYS laughing at harls and/or roope. he is always yapping BACK to them rather than just being yapped at and nodding. its subtle but the affection back is there!!!!! and his praise for both of their games cannot be understated and you know how he wouldnt shut up abt roope when he got drafted to dallas but . etc etc. you get the point.

this creates inch resting dynamics!!! 2 me!!!!! miro gets two (2) giant boyfriends who are utterly obsessed with him. now roope and harls.... they're not d partners and theyre not ridiculously fated finns. what can we Inspect here. other than some very cute fun celly moments (i need to give a nod to them!!!! roope is good at cellys this cannot be ignored) you get roope kind of. not brushing harls off but just. ultimately being unbothered by him? there's shots of them chatting on ice where roope barely looks at him whereas harls is doing his big wet sopping eyes shtick aggressively in roope's direction. this is also just an Accurate Vibe for them based on fandom interpretations of their personalities So.

the thing is, it doesnt read to me as annoyance or jealousy or anything. its really a. "miro has a little pet now. guess i will try my best to like it." and he is being Endeared Against His Will (see: my celly point again). combine this with miro's giggling at harls like he is a little court jester dancing for his entertainment. you get something very fun. very silly. two bitches and their weird little boyfriend that they love sooooo much but think is soooo absurd and will be so mean (affectionate) to him. and harls OBVIOUSLY loves his cunty ass boyfriends. very much "they dont bite ^.^" as they actively bite him. you know. and he’s such a dick to everyone else he Needs to be put in his place… basically roope and harls are HUUUUGE bitches to each other but in a silly way. like they very much probably would Not care abt each other without the addition of miro but bc they do have a miro they can have this <3

and then you add in how the dynamic would completely change in the bedro- [gunshots]

[sunflowersoap]

I know the way basil, sunny, and aubrey feel about mari's death is a lot more obvious in Canon but I really like the little bits of how they show the brothers problems too.

kel doesn't seem to be close with anyone now. he mentioned that hero is more closed off than before. he didn't think sunny would answer but still was obsessively knocking on that door. he was still clinging onto the idea that he and basil were still friends. he mentions that his parents didn't even notice that he was crying, just went right to hero. nobody notices when kel is sad except hero, and hero is more closed off now. so I can only imagine how alone kel felt. and aubrey only attacks *kel* in that first fight. so he was,,, really really isolated. I think he tried to take on hero's role after he fell into that depression. happy and peppy and keeping everyone's spirits up high. and the more he fails to do it, the more useless he feels. the more he feels helpless. he ignores the problems because he feels like there's nothing he can do to fix them. he feels so weak. so he ignores the problems. ignorance is bliss, and if he doesn't keep moving he'll fall apart. so he doesn't let himself stop for even a second. he's trying to make everything be normal again. he doesn't know how.

onto hero. look at how much he puts on a charming golden child persona. this could very much be me projecting, but I'm imagining he got so fucking exhausted looking after everyone else. he's always the one stopping fights and solving everyone's problems and keeping everyone together. and overtime the anger from that can build up, leaving you so exhausted to the point where you don't have the energy left to care. he's always expected to be the golden kid. the charming, kind hero. no wonder when he started feeling like shit, the feeling hit him hard. he probably spent so many nights wondering what he could've done to get through to mari. if it was his fault for not realizing she felt like that. if he'd done something to make her want that. how exhausting it was for him to pretend to be happy and charming, to be supportive of everyone and go back to being the go getter charming little hero. he must've been so fucking tired. tired of fixing everyone's problems, tired of never being listened to, tired of everything. that frustration of not being listened to turned into anger, and it all came out at the mention of mari. (still really not great of him! not excusing his actions!)

basically, hero and kel both hide and repress their emotions for different reasons and they're such fascinating characters.