#ihateeverything

[therapyandfolklore]

The rage

[nastymeowmeow]

Gonna pretend to be normal today. It's like reverse Halloween, right? Look pretty on the outside, but a total fucking hurricane on the inside. I tried to delete the photos of her in my phone, but that felt shitty.

How do you just delete someone? What the fuck do I do with these photos? I don't want to look at her face. Every time I see photos of us together or random creep shots I took of her while she was in her happy place, I literally physically want to vomit.

Like a gut punch from god damn hell.

Thank Gary for Google Drive. I'm just gonna dump all of our photos into a file online and leave it there. Like burying a time capsule, but nobody can dig it up and steal your homemade porn before you go back to retrieve it one year later.

Yeah I know that's specific, but I speak from experience. You're welcome, whoever stole my porn. I hope you go to prison for possession of child pornography because I was definitely 16 when I made those.

I'm definitely going to delete all of the sexy and naughty things I did, though. Gross. I really hate it when I do naughty things and then I have to look back on them later. Like cool Sandy, you are one desperate slut for sending these to your girlfriend. Needed attention and validation that bad, huh?

I know that's mean to myself. I would never say or think that towards anyone else. In fact I love getting nudes and sexy videos. They're special. Not so much when they are from the past. Like awesome I love being treated the exact same way you treated your last fuckthing, but it's still hot. Just not as cool as getting your own personalized special nudes.

God I'm fucking salty today. It's just part of the mourning process I guess. My friend told me to treat the breakup like the grieving process you go through when someone dies. I guess technically my girlfriend did die. In a way. Weird.

I don't think I'm doing it right though.

It is supposed to go in this order: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

I definitely went for Denial first. I knew she wanted to break up weeks ago. I saw it in her eyes the night we went to Boise to play magic. Everything was off. My heart was already breaking a little bit, just by feeling the energy shift. Call it intuition, but I knew she was already there. Then I gave her space, even though I was scared. Even though I knew giving her space was going to help her break up with me. Every woman does this. When they want to break up. They ask for space. They wait for things to fester and they distance themselves. To soften the blow when they finally get the moxie to "rip the bandaid off." I tried to tell myself maybe she won't. Maybe she'll feel better, but I knew better. I've done this a hundred times with other people.

Then I went in for bargaining. Skipped anger and went straight to bargaining. Asking her if I could just be there. Telling her I'd rather put my needs completely to the side if that meant we could stay together and work through things eventually. Asking her if we could just focus on her and put our relationship on the back burner for as long as she needed.

She rejected that. Then I went straight into depression. Scroll down for a novel of sad girl garbage. Being emotional and emo is so embarrassing when you have to re-read what you were thinking. Like god, Sandy. Get over yourself. There are people being firebombed to death in their own homes just for existing and you're over here crying because you can't handle a little bit of Bipolar Disorder and a really clean breakup.

Now I'm just angry. Not at her. At myself. At life. I'm just angry that I'm stuck here on this stupid planet in this stupid body living my stupid life. I'm angry that my brain can't just stop being Bipolar. I'm angry that one day I want to die and the next day I feel immortal. I'm angry that I'm never going to feel normal. I'm fucking angry.

It would be super cool if I can just skip over to acceptance now. Here's a fucking selfie. To remind myself that yeah. I'm an angry fucking basket case. An absolute wreck of a woman, but at least I'm hot.

[skullyvomit]

It’s really sad because I still find myself missing you from time to time.

I have no thoughts or expectations to ever speak to you again.

It’s just hard not to look back at the moments where we laid in bed together staring into each other lovingly or the way you gave me a sticker that I could put in my phone. The little moments of happiness. That I haven’t had since and that I don’t know if I’ll ever have again

[lowellryanprojects]

Molly Surazhsky, Slava Culture War! (details), 2022 LOWELL RYAN PROJECTS 4619 W. Washington Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90016 Tuesday - Saturday, 11am-6pm +1 323 413 2584 lowellryanprojects.com @lowellryanprojects #details #memes #idenity #mollysurazhsky #fiberart #cancelculture #ihateeverything #class #flags #la (at Lowell Ryan Projects) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnVMbvMyeG-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[dramas-and-stuff]

Not the eyebrow drawing... oh my....

[wereall-justgettingby]

im still having so much trouble with my saves reverting and losing progress in the sims and they release a new kit instead of fixing this fucking bug!!!?? Im so upset right now! I hate EA.

[futuresafe]

man it's no wonder so many people hate osiris you've got 20 zillion youtubers calling osiris "the worst character in the franchise" because he's not kissing the ground we walk on.

[v1x3n]

the cycle of hating my body one day then loving it the next then hating it more <3333

[pipcoded]

learning abt the yourmoviesucks ihateeverything vs derek savage youtube drama. 7-ish years after it occurred bc it’s kind of fascinating

[saddisk]

ihateeverything🥀

[univewrse]

the list follows my regrets emptiness. why are you here for instance. we had lot to do. we shouldve slept forever man... we couldve even do some crazy shit....this is not what i expected at all...why does my life feel very inconvenient...these times my life gets worse.. but in every minute.. not even kidding... WHAT IN THE MUTFERFUCKING FUCK AARRGGHHHHHHHH IHATEEVERYTHING

[nastymeowmeow]

I haven't showered since Saturday. I've been listening to a lot of my favorite punk bands. I ate mushroom pizza last night for dinner and it was glorious.

I'm an angry little possum right now. I'm about ready to just give up on everything that keeps me stable. I just want to destroy something. I'm planning to go to the dessert to give Shady Lady some attention. She's my adorable metal baseball bat.

I probably won't take any guns with me. My friends are more than willing to let me borrow but for my own sake, probably not a great idea to drop Ruby off and go to the dessert alone with a sexy temptress such as Little Miss Glock 19.

I'm just gonna smash some glass and ceramics and listen to some loud metal music and maybe cry. I don't know. I don't usually cry when I'm angry and filled with testosterone and adrenaline, but a lot of things are happening to me that have never happened before. So who knows? Maybe I'll cry? Maybe I'll scream? Maybe I'll get an asthma attack?

She used to give me asthma attacks just by being around me. Every cell in my body went ballistic with excitement every time I was with her. My blood would rush to my face and my ears would be on fire just from kissing her.

"Kill me romantically

Fill my soul with vomit

Then ask me for a piece of gum.

Bitter and dumb

You're my sugarplum

You're awful, I love you!"

It's Tuesday and I'm already done and ready for the weekend. Funny how fighting with yourself can be so exhausting.

Next post I'm going to talk about the 5 remaining brain cells who run this business called Sandy.

[nommedtail]

ihateeverything returns after 10 months of no videos to drop another video about why he doesn’t like destiny 2 (as a solo player who just wants campaign stuff) lol

[riseup-93]

That one mistake that ruins everything...

#ihatemyself #ihateeverything

Is it worth carrying on 😔

[i-am-the-aesthetic]

🙃🙃🙃🙃

[love4tomholland]

Hello, I guess Tumblr is good as place as any to discuss my thoughts and feelings. So here it is. 

I hate everything. I also hate everyone. I feel like I don’t have a purpose and that everyday is just draining, tiring and pointless. I feel like everyone doesn’t give a fuck about me and only give a fuck about themselves and it gets worse as we get older. I used to care for a lot of things and a lot of people but I really don’t anymore. 

It’s all fun and games with me until I tell them that I am upset or I have told the person that they are the reason they have upset me. I really do not want any more friends or to trust anyone. I feel like I am just going to be bitter and be annoyed at anyone who tries to be friendly because I just don’t see the point. 

In the past I have lost a lot of close friends but I suppose that’s life isn’t it? Or am I just a complete asshole? I find it so odd how people can get so close to me then forget about me like I was nothing. I just want to work on myself, look amazing, do amazing and keep like 1 or 2 close friends. Tops. I don’t know who to tell because I sound fucking insane and don’t want my friends to think I don’t value them. Which I do. Well sort of, I just don’t care about anything right now. Which is going to be really fucking hard when I start final year of uni next year. How am I supposed to get through that when I don’t even care about my friends right now?

I just don’t have the energy for anything at all. A lot of people have left me. Even the closest friends you think will be in your life forever. I just don’t care. It’s actually giving me a headache. So many fucking fake friends I actually cannot deal.