#im Hoping that by posting this ppl will ask abt some of them n add their own two cents for ideas to flesh them out more

[nerosdayinanime]

ok wait i realized i can just use my gallery's text & draw thing this is great

this is what i mean by 'the clan au doesnt have a set story'. theres all these places that it can branch off of and the possibilities r endless and i have *counting* ..14 scenarios/storylines so far and every time i think of a new scenerio another gets added<3

[slight bit more info for all the branches so far]

i havent done much with the kny-canon leaning ones they're more just like if i did follow canon thats how it'd be done ykno? im thinking they get raided by the shinazugawas for control of the trade routes and either they both survive like that one post or only giyu survives, either way Sakonji takes in the living tomioka(s)

------

most of the stories arent tied down to canon theyre more whatever worldbuilding i have and stories pop up from them- one of the first ones was the shina-tomi failed peacetalks bc i wanted to draw sanemi & giyuu fighting (i just realized i placed the branches perfectly bc thats closer to canon than the others lol)

if the peacetalks worked(wouldve been later/after sanemi took over) then it kinda snowballed into a few nearby/allied clans forming a village, then from that theres the Tomi-Daki diplomat/trade envoy w the fox trio(giyu makomo & sabito)

---

the rescues are like. little to no formal interactions between any of the three clans(shina-kumeno is always allied), in the first one its winter and giyu's on his way home when he catches the trail of bloodline hunters and saves Genya & Masachika.

in the other one giyu's pinned by a rogue shinobi and sanemi & sabito both find him at the same time and they make a lil truce bc giyu has severe chakra exhastion and cant make it home

----

undercover mission has one thats purely sanegiyu; sanemi is disguised as Kazura & giyu as Gikuro and actually i looked back at my notes and this ones like. in the past before the village branch. so it connects to that one but it can also be a standalone. the other undercover mission is sabisanegiyu where sabito & giyuu went undercover as a master/servant thing and sanemi was disgusted by it and didnt know that it wasnt Real so he tried to 'save' giyuu and got invited to the polycule<3

---

the lil unnamed branches inbetween is that one where giyu got chased out the clan by tsutako for killing their mom, there was a spy who had taken her place and giyu noticed and killed the spy but tsutako only saw him killing their mom and she lost her shit in dispair & heartbreak. theres a branch for Giyu staying alone, Sabito ditching the urokodakis for his packmate while makomo stays behind to fix things with tsutako, and both Sabito & Makomo ditching the urokodakis for their packmate

---

the arranged marriages are sanegiyu with the first branch being after sanemi takes over and giyu asking for it ot of goodwill & he likes him(his pack gets to stay w him). other two Kyogo requested(demanded) it for trade routes, he doesnt allow the urokodakis to go with bc theyre Not Tomiokas and these routes more heavily portray the different biology of the southerners/mountain-pass(a/b/o)

ones angsty bc sanemi is like. CRUSHED that he cant find love on his own. his father takes literally everything away from him. while sanemi is kind & respects giyu he doesnt really care for him. and for giyu to go from a very close-knit family-oriented culture to the stone cold-cutthroat/conservative/severely traumatized/individualist culture of the shinazigawas with literally No One there for him he gets pretty fucked up w the emotional neglect

the other ones less angsty bc sanemi actually Tries in their relationship and finds that he actually enjoys giyu's company- and cuddles. the cuddles r fuckin great. but kyogo's still a cunt and a massive hindrance to emotional and mental healing of everyone around him. but sanemi's not alone now so its Better

[katsurolle]

HII i saw you rb my post about xinyan's lore with tags and i just couldn't not respond to that so i'm sending this ask 😭😭

after reading your response, i think i get it now 😭 perhaps her unbending will is just her. no doubt about it! so im retracting the statement about her "not having personality".

although, it would've been nice to know how she came to be that way too because xinyan's mirage wasn't much of a story (now idk if it was meant to be, but i'm assuming it was considering what they did with kazuha's).

but anyways, what i'm trying to say is that i'll definitely be thinking about this more 🥲 thanks for your kind and open-minded response.

- calyxcore

oh my gosh hi hi!!! first of all omg i hope my tags didnt come off as aggressive or argumentative i literally just have a habit of rambling in the tags wahaha!! i was just playing off what u said in ur post and just wanted to add my thoughts!! cos i dont usually make my own posts abt things and tend to hop in the tags of posts other ppl make to write out my own thoughts!! +shes my fave genshin chara waahaha so yea i just went n rambled!! (and im abt to ramble again im so sorry this reply is so long)

but yea!! i rly do appreciate ur yanyan questline critique bec the depth that we can see in the other characters. hyv writers simply refuse to give to her lol. and which is why the rest of the fandom still see her as boring or superficial etc etc. so 100% good on u for touching on that bec its true!!

her mirage didnt exactly have the same feel as kazuha's, where we were literally uncovering bits of his backstory bit by bit thru the mirage. every level of kazoo's mirage, we can see the kaedehara home deteriorate and break down bit by bit as we go further inside it. while yanyan's was just like. an abstract version of her daily life. w other extra elements like the flower, heat, and the music motifs.

am personally still on the fence whether the disparity between their mirages is simply a result of their differing personalities and history, or if its purely lazy writing for yanyan's lore!! remains to be seen until fischl's and mona's because. yanyan was able to get a handle of the stuff that went on in her mirage in some capacity, while kazoo's was a little less controlled? if that makes sense hehe.

cos the event treated the whole silhouette in screen doors/windows sequences differently between those two mirages. kazoo's felt more like a memory, while yanyan was able to interact w the other silhouettes that weren't her parents. imho its bec kazoo didn't rly get a chance to resolve these things w his family, giving that feeling of like. his past still haunting him n stuff. the burden that pushed him to be a wanderer in the first place. whereas yanyan literally has to fight these statements made against her every single day. so they don't rly make an impact in yanyan's mirage as much as kazoo's did, bec yanyan already knows the words and attitude down to. pacify them wahaha. literally where everyone else gets mad at their remarks but shes just like "lol let me handle this" and resolves the situation ez pz lemon squeezy. so depending on how fischl and mona will engage with their respective mirages, it might just be differences in personality n response to what is being shown in the mirages. considering that their mirages effectively portrayed their backstory n history (cos if not, then its def a writing problem haha)

but!! i do agree that this event would've been the perfect opportunity to show the exact moment she got the spark for rock and roll!! bec her character details dont rly elaborate where she found out abt rock and roll save for the fact that she immersed herself into teyvats world of music and experimented w different techniques (specifically her use of fire n pyrotechnics). so that would've definitely been nice to see represented in the mirage itself, or at the very least in the little 2d cutscene after the quest's main story. cos i was def shocked at how different yanyans cutscene was from that of kazuhas.

i'd default with the whole "oghhg fontaine lore not finished yet" but also: 1) writers could've sprinkled something. regardless if fontaine isnt out yet. they do it w/ fontaine npcs why couldn't they do it w a major event chara; 2) mona's mirage! if they show smth fontaine related im going to have a stroke bec they COULDVE done it for yanyan. but chose not to for some god forsaken raisin. and; 3) the extent of fontaine in yanyan's discovery of rock and roll isnt rly. known. its just that she immersed herself in diff music including rock and roll, and that rock and roll is from fontaine. so maybe fontaine isn't even involved. could've been some random person who was rockin and rollin and yanyan saw. meaning this circles back to the whole "this event could've touched more on her spark for rock and roll" thing too.

bottom line is. i do think that they did a good job w fleshing out yanyan's personality in this event, could 100% do more w exploring her backstory!! AND that ur original post was very good!! because everyone else is probably disregarding her quest anyway bec they're not as invested in her lol. so idk im happy to eat up any thoughts anyone has abt the quest because my god my baby girl deserves the spotlight so bad qwq

so yea!! thank u for sending this ask!!! i love when ppl send me asks telling me they read my tag rambles n want 2 discuss thoughts w me

[painfog]

Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

[sinkingwmyships]

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

[unclejuho]

sf9 in london event + concert experience ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

this is my 5k essay on what happened 190512 // enjoy reading!!!

so i got to the venue at 11pm the night before bc i was so stressed by the other concerts (ppl at la started lining up at 6pm??) i really wanted to be near the front since im coming all way from the netherlands anyways i better go big or go home!!!! so like i waited there for an hour amongst other fans who were still waiting from a diff concert and when they left other fantasy arrived so we started queueing up. i rlly have to thank sf9 uk casue they were so nice to me and they kept letting me use their hotel next door to let me go to the bathroom and change ♥️

i ended up getting nr1 (or nr21 ig isbdhs) so!!!! we did it LMAO succesfully got a good spot even though my feet and butt were dead by the time anything even happened,, its so hard to wait for 16+ hours to go to a concert but its sf9 so who cares about health 🤡 we didnt get knifed and a lot of ppl came up to ask who the fuck we were waiting for hdbshsh it was so funny

so i started handing out my juho stuff ofc and ppl seemed to like it!!! so im glad haha eventually even i didnt have any anymore so i was happy ppl liked it!

skip to like 1pm which is when the members arrived at the venue, i was a lil late noticing cus i was waiting for those signed narcissus albums but i ran to the front anyways n saw youngbin chani tae leave the van (like what they posted in the travel preview) so that was!!!!! jdbdbsb they were so unbothered it was so cute so i went to get my albums and came back to line (i got all hwiyoung pcs oshshah) 

also there were so many other fans handing out fanmades it was so sweet the entire atmosphere was fantastic bc everyone was nice to eachother, rlly everyone i talked to was super sweet!!! also so many fansites with slogans or fans so i went broke once more but it was all worth it theyre so pretty...

at like 4.30 was the special event which lmao i rlly was so tired and i got sooo nervous i had my already signed fanfare from mwave bc if ure gonna sign any album it should be fanfare (looking at ALL the ppl that gave them narcissus) sooo us 20 were led upstairs to some sort of bar area and they had a long table w water bottles so we had to wait a lil while the staff checked our signed items if they were ok and then we had to form a line to wait (they were late) i met another dutchie so that was nice hdhshsh

finally the members walk out and im shaking bc baek ju is the first to enter the room!!! he was wearing that leopard sweater and i didnt even hate his mullet seeing it upclose...

jae was wearing that stupid unbottoned shirt skbssbsb and he came in giving ALL the fanservice like him and inseong were here for the entire thing osbdbsb the other members just sat down and sociaized with eachother like yb kept being adorable and pulling faces at the table it was everything and i couldnt see rowoon bc ppl were standing in front of him but i was!!!! shaking already bc whos idea was it to start off this event with fucking rowoon lmao is like immediate heart attack! ju was last which was oof...

so i had like ideas of what i wanted to talk abt w each members but lmao??? i didnt talk abt any of it to any member my mind was so shook...

first up was rowoon and he just hdhshsh???? the eye contact of this man and just seeing him upclose was so intense tf he rlly was.. so gorgeous n bc of his hair up his eyes looked even bigger n shimmered and the pics rlly dont do him justice... so the first thing i said was wow so handsome bc why not.. i was gagged indeed hdbdbsb he said like woooow our debut album and you already have it signed oabdbs i didnt explain the entire mwave thing bc wud he understand haha but he opened n he saw the pic of himself hes like what do u like better me now or me here??? me being myself im like fanfare bc ur hair down is so cute oahdhshs i rlly not a narcissus hag anyways but fanfare was best rowoon as always... so rowoon did his sign and i asked him to do sky castle impersonation he didnt understand so i just repeated sky castle he was like ah the voice thing im like yes cha minhyuk isbdbsh so he did the fucking thing and i was dying lmao great to have seen it in the flesh ofc...

after rowoon was taeyang and taeyang!!!! was so hyper and attentive like hdnsb whenever u see him in vids hes usually very casual but he was soooo sweet and he too was like ahhh fanfare he took a while to say but he said his heart was still in there hdhdhsh so i was 🤧🤧 i just asked tae if he was doing okay or if he wasnt feeling tired and he said he was doing great bc i was there im like dying hdhshsh so i said yah me too!!!! 

jae was after taeyang n jae was jdhshshs soooo into it i know korean fans say ppl change biases to jae after meeting him and i have to say i can see why!!! i didnt rlly know what to say to jae beforehand but he said oooo i really love london and im like haha i dont like it here im like im from the netherlands so he was shocked he said thank you for coming to travel here and he held my hand isbdbsbsb

next was inseong and... the eye contact level was sooo severe he rlly threw all into it hes like hi thank you for coming so much so i was wearing this shirt w a 🥩 on it and im like inseong do u like my shirt bc i know u love meat iahdhahsh so he was laughing n said yea wow this is my favorite shirt oshdhshs rlly had me going LOL he asked if it was my first time seeing them im like yea but im going to korea in the summer tho oshdhshs he said that was great n asked how long i was staying for,,, so im like im going a month so he asked why i was going so long im like im going for u!!! hdbshsb he gave me some hearts and i moved on ndhsbsab

so chani was next up and he looked so shy,,,, im sad bc i forgot to say everything i wanted to say to him at the beginning and i was just like chaniiiiiii and he laughed and signed my album before i went i quickly pushed in a URE MY FAVE DANCER n he highfived me hdhsbs

so youngbin was next and i... lmao... i was weak haha he just read my name hes like hiiiii gia im here being depressed saying HI YOUNGBIN I LOVE U SM thank u sm for everything u do for us and i shit u not my eyes like tearing up oshdbsbs yb asking me how im feeling im like YEA GREAT tears in my eyes oabdbs i rly couldnt speak otherwise id actually have them roll down my face so i just nodded and moved on iabsbs

hwiyoung im so sorry... i was still emo from yb and i even forgot to say happy birthday like pls hit me... hwi cheered for the fanfare album and im like yess hwi i love ur hair here i love the blonde;; hwi thanked me for coming 

next up was dawon and jdbsbs i came in saying hi fantasy president so he said yeeee fantasyyyyy and hes an unbothered legend oabbdhssbn he signed quickly and within a minute i was away again jdhdhs

so juho.. my god oshdhshwh hes so:((( pretty let me breathe liek... i came there im like juho i love u oahdhshsh hes just nodding his way going to sign my album and he drawing that heart stickman so im like i have a question can u draw— hes like this is my signature drawing LUCKILY i drew the jucasso next to my name so im like pointing at it being like lmao boy we dont want this heart flop bdhdhsh so he quickly drew it and i said i hope u feel better soon and i was off again,,, rlly dawon and juhos signing went so quick...

so we moved on to the pictures and they were grabbing the chairs and ju was standing all way back at first but then no members went to sit on the chairs oahdhs so JUHO THE MAN WENT FOR THE SEAT NEXT TO THE MIDDLE HDHSHSH and hwi on the other side and jae behind so im blessed like juho... he rlly did it... hdhshsh i quickly go to grab one of my banners bc im like bitch i gotta fucking rep for it now otherwise i wudnt know a pose anyways oahdhshs so i quickly took off my glasses as well

so its my turn im going up and sitting down and like handing this banner to ju and hes like ???? oh???? he quickly reads it n was impressed hdbsb so there was one pic and tae was sitting next to ju and wanted to read what was on the banner so he turned to us but then we had to take another pic so he had to turn back quickly again oahdhshsh and then i had to go again but as i walked away ju was explaining to the members what was on my banner so i :(((( 

after everyones picture was taken they said goodbye and waved and inseong stayed behind a lil to joke abt drinking beer (i rlly hate him but also me?) and then they left and we got our merch bags n went back downstairs

so i quickly ran over to my bestie to tell her abt it before realizing we had to line up to go inside for the concert so i was like stressed running away i rlly almost lost my first spot LOL but we were let inside the venue i had like 50 bags but i ran to the front and BLESS IT there was like tiny space left at the left side which is were i wanted to be bc juwoon!!!!!! so i rly did get barrier thank god i could put down all my bags as well and the fantasy next to me were great as well!!!!

// i’ll add the concert later as im tired rn and this is already 5k osjbhdbhjas

[gaylortruther]

(many) tag games

saw someone else do this so i figured i’d go through all my tag games in one looong post instead of spamming you all with a bunch of separate posts!

i’m gonna tag everyone now and yall can choose which tag games you want to do or whether you want to do them all (or whether you want to do any)!!

thanks to everyone who tagged me in all of these! i LOVE being tagged in tag games and i am always up for more! <3

tagging THE SANCTION (including ppl that i haven’t gotten up on the page yet im sorry abfjffsdhsjbjsdf it will happen SOON):  @newdivinities @wolvesofarcadia @maskedlady @victoiirres @sancta-silje @bumblebeesonpaper @wasting-ink-not-youth @horrorspell @ya-lady-tauriel @awritinglen @purpleshadows1989 @ivonoris @theforgottencoolkid @the-ichor-of-ruination @grotesqu-e @lucacangettathisass @tea-ndi @hazeywrites @lunar895 @thewordsinthesky-andstars

[LAST LINE TAG]

TAGGED BY  @melwrotethat AND @hazeywrites

thank you both for the tags! these are the last few lines of the prologue-excerpt-thing i wrote for the page i’m working on for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Somehow, Collin hears them. Silently, she rolls up her sleeve, and Rowan feels the Collin Sutherland they knew is somewhere far, far away. The tattoos are black, geometric in design, two on each arm, and eerily similar to the ones Rowan has just discovered on their own left arm. They're sure if they were to roll up their right sleeve, they would find more.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Collin whispers. "I didn't know you were a part of it, but I should have guessed. I didn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not- I don't- in danger of what?"

The waves crash onto the shore, and in the distance, a seagull cries, sending Collin into action. She grabs Rowan's hand and starts pulling, dragging them back behind the house.

"Come on. We don't have a lot of time, we have to get going. I can tell you everything on the way. I don't know why he brought me here instead of straight to the veil, damn it-,"

"Wait!," they say, wrenching their hand out of her grasp. "Just- stop! Where are we going?!"

Collin's eyes flash bright, despite the lack of sunlight. "Home."

yeah, a bit long, a bit unedited, but *shrugs*

[SPELL OUT UR URL USING SONG TITLES]

TAGGED BY @tea-ndi

thank you sage!!! <3

hard feelings/loveless | lorde

another one of those days | cavetown

let’s fall in love for the night | FINNEAS

ocean eyes | billie eilish

honey and milk | flower face

i know | king princess ft fiona apple

dreamz | sara king

iloveyou | BETWEEN FRIENDS

nobody’s home | gnash

greek god | conan gray

sycamore girl | rex orange county 

and there you have a small sample of my music taste! add in literally every taylor swift song (dont judge me), some lo-fi tunes without ANY words whatsoever, and the occasional fall out boy or panic at the disco goddamn absolute banger, and you have my XANDERS JAMS playlist on spotify. ENJOY

[11/11/11 TAG]

TAGGED BY @awritinglen <333333333333333333333333

thank you for tagging me len!!! your questions were so fun!! i’m doing this for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Name all OCs in your WIP

OMFG okay,,, wait do you mean full names?? POV characters as of rn are Collin Aisling Sutherland, Rowan Tilley (doesn’t have a middle name) and Avery Bristol Charter. then the next most important one is Isaac Michael Rosewell, even though he’s the antagonist. then the side characters that are still very featured are Noah Rosalyn Pratten, Reese Iseul Radley, and Sage Emarosa Delgado. THEN we get into the very very side characters, Willa Robinson and her son August Robinson. then we have Avery’s parents, Alaric and the late Octavia Charter. and thennnnn we have Beldane Moreno, Avery’s uncle and Collin’s grandfather (undecided abt that last name but going w it for now). i promise it all makes sense. i promise anfnfsjnfdjsfd

Name at least one hobby your Main character love

i’ll give this one to Collin, she is a musician! Avery’s mother always taught her music before The Accident (dun dun dunnn) and after Collin was abandoned in the Nigh she threw herself into music. she plays guitar mostly, but she secretly loves piano the best out of every instrument she knows

3 sentences about your current WIP

OOF. im so bad at summaries why would you do this to meee abfhshjbsbshfjsbf. “A determined believer wants to return to a home that never wanted her. Almost 4000 miles away, an incisive, intellectual outcast of a dreamer muses over getting out of their hometown. And infinities away from them both, a teenage revolutionary disappears into thin air, on his way to bring back his past and fix his (and everyone’s) future.”

Is there a romance in your WIP and did you plan it from the beginning?

yes! there are three! they are definitely a main focus of the plot, but not THE main focus. Reese and Rowan were definitely planned from the beginning. Collin and Noah were, too, but they weren’t originally enemies to lovers, and they are now (hehehehehe). and Isaac and Avery were DEFINITELY not planned from the beginning. in fact, Avery was originally paired up with Sage, but it’s literally so much better this way and i’m so glad it’s been changed. Isaac and Avery has been planned since about when Isaac’s character was thought up, one year into planning WTCMTS.

What genre(s) is it?

a mix of dystopia and urban fantasy. and it’s YA, borderline NA because some of the characters are 19-20, but i still think YA is appropriate because of the style of writing.

What’s the aesthetic of two of your characters?

fun question! Collin’s aesthetic is very emo-punk, with a splash of yellow towards the end of the series. piercings, blue hair, rips on clothing, dirty converse, smudged eyeliner, safety pins. the yellow comes in as part of her character arc, as she learns to accept that her childhood memories are tainted and not actually perfect utopia. Rowan is way more minimalist (sometimes). they’re into the bookstagram type aesthetic, and mom jeans with sneakers, jean jackets, plants against a white wall, colorblocked windbreakers, rain against a car window.

When did you start your current WIP?

WTCMTS was started in august of 2017 

How far along are you in the process (i.e 1st/2nd/3rd draft, worldbuilding)

still worldbuilding, unfortunately, for personal reasons

Who’s the hardest character for you to write?

OOOOOOF. sage or rowan?

What music genre best decribes your main character(s) and whats their favorite?

Collin - alternative (favorite band would be like twenty one pilots, p!atd) 

Rowan - ichillwave (clario, rex orange county)

Avery - emo (fall out boy, all time low)

Isaac - indie alternative OR instrumental lofi (jaymes young, birdy)

Noah - electropop (lorde, halsey, charlie xcx)

Reese - folk rock (the head and the heart, of monsters and men)

Sage - indie pop (lana del ray, florence + the machine)

Are you working on more than one WIP?

yes! i have four currently but only two are important lol, ILLUNIUS and WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY (this one). WIP PAGE

MY QUESTIONS

how did you come up with the title for your WIP?

is there anything you want to change about your WIP but you are hesitating on?

do you have a favorite character? a character that is your baby?

write a tinder bio for one of your characters.

how do you feel about epilogues? does your wip include an epilogue?

what changes does your MC go through over the course of the story?

what is the most significant insignificant thing that happens in your story? don’t explain why it is significant if it spoils things ;)

do you know what will happen after the ending of your wip, or would you rather not picture it?

how long does your wip span? is it a novel? a series? does it have prequels or spin-off wips?

what is a major internal conflict for your MC? 

do you include flashbacks in your wip? do you like writing flashbacks?

[HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A ______ NOVEL TAG]

TAGGED BY @writevevo​ AND @wolvesofarcadia​

thank you both for this tag! it’s so much fun and both of your novels sound like novels that would be very interesting to be stuck in :D

inspired by this post

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A HALOHIDINGS NOVEL

you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling. you’re extremely bitter towards your younger sibling for stealing opportunities from you, damning you to a life you never truly wanted. your younger sibling adores you and just wants to please you. they never meant to do it. 

you’re stuck in constant, wistful wanderlust, never feeling like you truly belong, never fitting in anywhere, not with friends, not with family, and when you finally find the place you’ve been looking for, you realize it’s nothing like you dreamed or remembered.

you’re not heterosexual. no one around you is. no one is cisgender either. where are they? no one knows. 

you have a peculiar capability dancing under your skin. it trickles from your pores and muddles with your mind. maybe you asked for it, maybe it was predestined, maybe you never wanted anything to do with it. whatever the reason, it’s there, and you don’t know what’s you and what’s it. maybe you’re not meant to ask. maybe you’re meant to succumb. 

your memories are as fickle as the rain, coming and going and breaking through the clouds, shattering the fog and disappearing with the sun. you can’t recall what you’re doing here, or where you’re meant to be instead. what’s your name?, they ask. you don’t know.

there are two worlds. one world is blissfully unaware of this, or at least, as unaware as any world of millions and millions of people can be. no secret can be kept forever, they tell you. you are desperately trying to keep the secret.

the one closest to you, despite your abhorrent denial of this fact, the one you would trust with your life, will betray you. because of their decision, their selfishness, you will either lose them, or lose yourself.

THOSE WERE SO FUN OMG. they all mostly apply to both of my major wips, which is probably bad. oh well LMAO

SORRY THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO LONG hope at least someone does one of these tag games lol <3 

xander out

[thorin]

Don’t you think that response was kinda harsh? The person never said anything insulting. They asked a question because they were confused. Not a lot of people actually know that hobbit tend to have darker skin tones, because most people have seen the movies, so of course they’d be confused when they see art of Bilbo with a darker skin tone

they didn’t ask that question out of pure confusion, it was an assumption made of his skin color. “why is bilbo indian?”. firstly, nationality =/= race, secondly what abt it. like even if op had made bilbo be indian. what abt it. “but there isn’t any modern nationalities in middle earth its not realistic !!!” we’re talking abt books/movies that have dwarves n dragons in them come on.

also, not insulting? op’s not white and wanted to make fanart of a character they liked. and they happened to want to see a dark-skinned bilbo. what abt it. (also i hope i don’t get any “well if we can’t “””whitewash””” then why can poc black/brownwash characters huh !!!!”’s after saying this bc i Will throw hands.) like u do know that if u don’t like an art post u can just scroll down……..

plus, they weren’t the only ones that didn’t know that bagginses were supposed to be dark-skinned. i ALSO didn’t know that, until the artist had told me. but that didn’t mean i got confused??????? like it’s quite common for nonwhite artists to draw white or whitewashed characters (like bilbo…) as dark-skinned…………..unless they made their tumblr literally TODAY, they should have seen at least some ppl make art of white characters as dark-skinned characters………………..

+ getting called a racist will never have as a big an impact as living through racist words and acts like. that just doesn’t compare. if they really, truly, had wanted to explain themselves they wouldn’t have blocked me right away nor would they have blocked the ARTIST without giving them a chance at expressing themselves, except for the dm (a DM, HELLO) they sent them asking them why they’d commented that on their post + vagueing abt me in their blog after blocking me. those acts don’t seem those of a genuinely confused person’s.

edit: im white and don’t want to overstep any bounds. if any poc wants to add something, please do. + i’ve talked abt this matter w the artist themself when they’d shared their problem w the comment

edit 2: the artist has asked me to specify that while they are mixed, they’re a white-passing person!

[mundanesocialite]

my url -still glares-

||Ginger Ale is my religion, Meetra, get used to it.

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why: ,,,,,,, Do I have to pick tho?? I love seeing your Kaiba, and your Kat, and Adam got me dead, okay? Although if I had to pick, I’d say Kat bc she is the b u f f w i f e.

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs: ok but fight me I know im supposed to pick w/ other people,, but we got our good going Trashship thread and I a d o r e them. Dragon spouses are my fav by far.

My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s): I like how you made Kat such a strong person, despite her issues w/ Xeras and other things, she’s still very confident and easily takes the lead in any situation. Plus, she isn’t what’s considered conventionally attractive, but not once has that stopped her from chasing after my Kaiba. A lot of others might have decided to go and give a muse like her more insecurity because of her scars, or make it that her muscles would get in the way of romance, but in no way did you do that and I honestly totally respect that. She should never be ashamed of who she is, and just the way she carries herself has my muse in love, okay? Not to mention, muscly women are honestly some of the best, and everyone needs to open their eyes, thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

My thoughts on their writing style as a whole: Despite the fact that English isn’t your first language, you are doing an incredibly good job in forming your own style. I know how hard you’ve been trying too, and I’m 100% impressed w/ that. Kat very much has a voice of her own, much different than the way you speak when talking OOC. Thats just totally impressive to me.

Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in: Okay but, I still wanna see Kat and Honda get to talking, plus add in Jou? Put me on death row bc that’s gonna kill me. Also, still super excited abt Honda & Kaiba you suggested, thank u for humoring my dumb ass.

Someone else I love seeing them interact with: a.. all of.. everyone. please. I love seeing you get the much deserved love and attention. And like I mentioned w/ a previous post, I do love seeing your thread w/ Puzzle. you guys done good. thanks.

Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying: please legit just kill me. i love your ideas. theyre honestly amazing. Plus, you’ve already signed up for my fav trope and im just gonna cry until i die.

If We Know Each Other

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities: You’re incredibly creative. Like, to the point you’re telling me about DREAMS that help you come up w/ plot ideas? hell yes, bb. I mean, I can’t speak abt some of your AU ideas, bc you’re keeping those secret from the general public, but I still ADORE your AUs. Plus Adam and Kat make me wanna cry.

What I Think Are Their Strengths: You’re good with putting up w/ a lot of shit. I mean, just hearing how your last work treated you, I’m entirely surprised you didn’t leave sooner. You’ve held on for a really long time, and I’m proud of you. I hope you get to feeling better, and get back into the groove of things. Maybe you can finally get done w/ that blog update.

A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours: G i n g e r a l e 

Why Others Should RP With Them: Meetra is a really sweet individual, yea sure, okay, but she will 10/10 smash your face in for mentioning ginger ale so I gotta respect that. but for real, she’s amazing at writing, and she’s improving so much. She’s gone so far as to ask me for help to compile a list of english slang terms Kat could possibly use. That is,,, going above and beyond what she needs to do. 

How Others Should Approach Them: slap her an ask, message her, kill her. idk. She’s a generally kind and approachable person. She’s the longest interaction I have going now. Honestly, she’s been here since almost the start of my blog, and the start of hers. You gotta know by now that the babe is super chill & loves getting love, okay?

Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them: d,,,,,,, do we interact w/ different ppl, idk. I think we have the same circle, you might have more, but I just dont know.

Anything else I want to say about them: I LOVE HER. Also she’s a fucking giant who could crush me w/ a foot, how are you so fuckking tall friend?

If We Have/Plan To Interact Together

A plot I’d like to write with them: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well,,, Phtho & Adam still, Honda & Kat,,,, Kaiba & Honda, i mean, just murder me w/ ur babes thanks.A muse I want to introduce to them: You’ve,,, met them.. all of them. How did you do that? Since when? Or at least, you’ve met all the muses relevant to you. You might enjoy Sieggy or Valon, but idk how that’d go.A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them: Jou / Kat / Honda, def, 10/10. They’d be the best of bros. Thanks.A thread with them I’m excited about: ALL. although i’m terrified abt the xeras event oh noAnything else I want to say: straight up punt me into the sun, thanks.

[noquirk-a]

ok anyway as i mentioned ... heres me talkin about deck’s relationships with other muses/charas bc im one big dickhead who never shuts up XD

   i’ll ... talk abt the most obvious one first. katsuki. specifically turtle’s katsuki bc i believe his is what i’ve talked with the most. it’s clear and obvious that deck despises him to the point he has a death wish against him, and most likely an EXTREMELY unhealthy obsession with him. but like, the obsession to do anything to put him down ... not even put him down like ‘ kill him ‘ but. at least crush his dreams. if anything, deck would rather cut off his hands or make him lose his quirk entirely just so he could feel what was it like to be it’s shoes. he wants ... to be above him. he wants him to experience karma and feel what he’s done to him. that’s a pretty common trope, i know, but considering what he’s ... done to him that’s all he actually wants. be it in a verse that he’s the hero or the villain, he doesn’t care. he’s going to find a way to fuck him up so bad that’ll have him end up underneath his foot as he crushes his hands with his foot, grinning like the damn cheshire cat, laughing softly as he goes ‘ who’s powerless now, kacchan? ‘

    even if ... katsuki would like. want deck to go back to heroism bc it feels so fucking wrong to have someone so determined to become a hero suddenly change his point of view. deck was literally one who would NEVER give up on his dreams and then suddenly he just. fell down. would he come to his senses and realize this? nah. if anything, he belives that he’s in the right mindset of having a perspective that it was society that was wrong. ( and ok, not being biased but somehow it is wrong 4 them to discriminate the quirkless like that. ) or maybe it’s just his pettiness not wanting to be in a side where he is right now. he’s no longer going to tolerate all the bullshit he’s thrown onto him, even if he asks penitence for that.

   another one is all might or toshinori. this is honestly where he ( all might ) has the biggest disadvantage and will realize he’s done the most foolish mistake. that being both underestimating deku and telling him the wrong mindset at first, AND telling him his weakness. deck, entering the league and getting in touch with afo, would definitely ask for like ... a stronger noumo similar to shi/garaki’s and fight him himself. i mean, not his bare hands ofc, but like through manipulating the noumo. the thing is he KNOWS his ultimate weakness and would often approach that. and at his exact downfall he’d be the one smiling, asking him if he remembers him, and like.. the ‘ i told you so ‘ or w/e attitude that shows that he was wrong on telling him that he couldn’t be a hero. he was strong as a villain ... so what more of him becoming an actual hero? he completely wasted it and crushed that dream of his. his confidence / hope is a deck of cards and his words are but a mere blow and he just. wants him to feel that that was one of his biggest mistakes tbh.

    herE’S ONE THAT IM SOOOOOOOOOOOO in love with bc it gives him a speck of humanity / little hope .. uraraka. there’s a seperate post for her find it in the tags but she... she’s literally the only star in deck’s empty night sky. almost. kind of. she’s supposed to be a hero and she IS a hero but the difference is she saw him as an equal at first and that’s something .. deck’s really thankful for. it’s plotted that she does a lot just to make him turn back / ‘ SAVE ‘ him to the point she could like .. die and still hope for him. that literally just puts him in a plethora of twist and turn of emotions bc like .. it’s. so. so fucking foreign to him, everything she’s doing. i can put this in a longer post but im JKSLFMSKJLFSKJFLM to him, she’s his hero for making him realize this. he may not give in that quickly or w/e, but she makes him realize something.

   then there’s ... deku. like, canon deku, not deck, bc like tbh i always llive for crossover universes / canon meeting au. it’s fascinating to me. anyway deck sees himself as like ... the BETTER version 4 some reason bc he sees it that he’s not ‘’blind’’ to society’s truth. he sees deku as someone who just ... gave in to that lie.i mean even in his verse where he DOES achieve all might’s quirk he realizes soon enough that this was all wrong ... why couldn’t he become a hero without a quirk? he sees him as like .. literally believing and accepting the fact that you should have a quirk before becoming a hero and tbh? he hates him for that, and envies him so much at the same time bc as most people say, ignorance is bliss, and he wishes he could’ve went through the same thing and be ignorant, too. but nah. he had to be the one ( or at least in his pov ) with ‘’eyes open’’ to how cruel / ugly society is. 

   ok then ... tooru aka @/vanishedstar. call it a coping thing or w/e but he projects himself to tooru bc they have similar background stories, difference is tooru was BORN with a quirk but taken from him and he’s full of love, whilst deck was born without and is just ... full of anger and wrath. he, like most people, sees him as nothing else but a stepping stone. bc like he can’t accomplish EVERYTHING alone, like alone in the literal sense so ofc he gets people as ‘ puppeteers ‘ them to follow his plan just so he could achieve his goal. since he’s already quirkless like him he trains him and teaches him how to fight physically and tells him w/e he knows. basically he molds him into someone like him, but like, the weaker version, bc he doesn’t want someone to outsmart him or run higher than him. think like ... a little student. or a little brother that he teaches idk XDD he’s always another proof / verification to his belief that people look on quirks, not the actual person. the fact that most ppl left him after he’s gone quirkless just seconds it tbh.

    ahmya. ... aka @/eyepsyche. this relationship is INCREDIBLY toxic and pure stockholm not going to lie. her quirk is EXTREMELY useful to him bc she can gather a lot of info and see a lot of things abt a person, and though deck can do that himself, she can gather so much more info for him and that just adds up to his knowledge. useful, right? she’s reluctant sometimes or at least at first, but deck REFUSES to let her go. and it’s not because he ... loves her or anything. he does’t have any feelings for her he just finds her very, very useful. think like an expensive knife or w/e that you’re not willing to lose. that expensive tech pen you keep in your case that other ppl might not see as much. ahmya, prior to meeting deck, was just a regular girl w/ no ‘purpose’ and deck gives her that .... the purpose being a huge stepping stone so he can accomplish what he must ^_^ SMSLGLS it’s incredibly disgusting of him tbh but he’s that desperate to finish what he wants to anyway and he has little to no care about others so what gives, right? he treats her like a pet, gives her constant validation that’s fake just so she could depend on him and all that. it’s pure ... nasty.but that honestly just shows his true nature of being a manipulative, toxic, selfish bastard.

   then there’s nooni aka @/creepquirk! much like ahmya and tooru, deck first saw nooni as the same thing : a pawn. a stepping stone. a little doll in his play that’ll help him reach what he wants. but there was just something about nooni that just ... opened somthing in him tbh. bc nooni was like, similar to deck in some ways, wanting to be a hero but society pushing you away. he stripped her off of that dream while she could still live it and dragged her to his own hell. but the thing was, somehow in the league, nooni ... still had that bit of hope of becoming a hero despite everything and tbh?? tbh?????????????? deck .. adores that. ofc he doesn’t show it on the outside bc hes a XDD tsundere bitch. no im kidding deck isn’t one to like be vulnerable or w/e but nooni was just so different to him bc she handles everything way better than him and this and that that just made him care deeply about her...n honestly? he regrets pulling/dragging her down and sometimes wish she couldve lived her dream instead and become that part he wish he could’ve become, but he finds himself unable to turn back despite being knee deep into everything while she still has a chance. tbh i cant put it all into words bc not even deck could, he’s that much of a mess that sometimes i can’t even decipher him bc he’s a complex chara tbh, but basically he just sees her as some kind of inspiration.

   then theres XDD villain todo who’s dead but idc i love their relationship. tbh they’re your typical little shits in love but like it’s not shown. todo and deck are similar in the way that they’re both wanting to get revenge on a particular someone ( his dad and for him katsu/all might ) so he can.. emphasize with him on that. maybe sometimes he even uses him bc lbr, todo is EXTREMELY powerful and clever for his age, but ofc that’s a hassle bc like i said, he’s intelligent, but not enough to the point he has to look down on deck due to being quirkless. he does at first but realizes he’s an excellent strageist so XDDDDDDDDD ok but anyway 2 the gay stuff bc todo is the most confusing person 2 deck ... he acts so kind to him and w/ the aforementioned 2 ura’s, kindness is so fucking foreign to him. maybe not his mom’s, but towards others he ... doesnt know how to handle it???????????????? and sometimes its just so soft and comforting that when it’s given to him he cant help but be addicted??????????????? is it love?? maybe?? maybe not????? love or is this just me desperately wanting affection from someone else?????????????????????? hm! who knwos ^_^ their rs is complicataed n? same.

    ok ( wheeze ) last one ... is mo. mortimer...morty.........or @/noricks........ maybe it’s bc they belong in different universes but like what rick wrote deck just ... sees himself as him. like they’re almost so painfully similar in terms of EVERYTHING except for some few parts. YA their backstories are different but it just ... leads them to the person who ends up sitting on the throne and acting like a god bc ‘’’ God was cruel to them ‘’’ . i went 2 recollection once and the speaker once said if you hate someone, it’s probably bc they remind you of yourself n i think? that just explains why he’ so aggressive towards him sometimes JSMGJS TMHSIMGHSLGKMSKLGM he . hates himself actually. deck i mean. he doesn’t .. he isn’t outwardly proud of what he’s become n bc mo reminds him of THAT it just irks him tbh. but at the same time he respects him bc???????????????? seriously who accomplishes all of this at the age of 14. he’s one of the or maybe the only person he actually respects other than all of the ppl he actually knows now. 

   i might edit this i jus wanna eat Fuck.