#im STRUGGLING with art today but ill come back to this idea

[arunneronthird]

Headcanon where when Jon grows up (naturally because I personally don’t consider the age up canon) he grows his hair out super long and ties it up in a man bun

after some consideration ive come to this well thought out conclusion:

yes

[ramrage]

fic concept: "dear simon"

ive been playing with the idea of writing a fic but it's told entirely through the pages of soap's journal, which have at some point become a collection of letters to ghost. of course he's never going to give them to ghost. he just needs a way to puzzle out their interactions because ghost is a cryptic pain in the ass and does he hate me or like me what's going on?

it definitely is chock full of limitations, but were i able to work around them and somehow make it benefit the narrative, it would be electric. the "truth" wouldn't matter or exist at all. it would be limited to soap's perception, colored by overthinking and shame/embarrassment despite trying to write something completely honest and for his eyes only.

shit i wrote at 3am below the cut. any suggestions/crit/feedback would be GREAT (plsplspls)

Dear Simon,

Yer never gonna read this. I’ll probably take a match to it when I’m done because yer a sneaky bastard and writing all this makes me feel like a cunt. I take to my journal, have been forever, to make my thoughts more real, yknow? not sure why i’m explaining myself to ye like yer ever gonna read it…

You’ve been getting on my last bleeding nerve, is the thing. Not like yer doin anything out of the ordinary for yerself. just the normal mysterious, aloof, fucken terrifying thing you do. with the stupid mask. fucken. i just didn’t know that /your thing/ also involved making fucken shite jokes bein endearing not as terrifying as i took ye fer. and that’s grand, except when you’re not being that way and i’m left to wonder how things went tits up.

i remember meeting you. they told me ye were some big scary fucker, and ye were, jesus, but i wanted to crack ye. after graves turned and left us to claw outta las almas, i thought i was. i didnae think ye’d wait for me, didnae think ye’d be in my ear with some of the most shite jokes i’d ever heard, but ye were. made me wanna push ye. see yer limits. i’ll be honest, i was full on with callin ye a good ol boy and tellin ye to take yer mask off. sorry bout that. but ye coulda shut me up and i know ye wouldnae struggle to. so i thought i found a boundary.

but you’ve been short with me all week. today, ye fucking head case, i do nothin more than nudge ye in the gym, tell ye yer liftin light + ye come at me like ye got a stick up yer arse. not even a quip back. whatdye say? some bullshite about respecting your superiors, /mactavish/. ye didnae strike me as a man who gave a quarter shite about vanity lifting and ye still don’t. im probably making somethin outta nothin and i dinnae ken why i even give a damn, give a damn enough to write it out like a wee fucken lovesick school girl, but here i am. i’ve not cared about people liking me for bleedin ages. and people tend to like me, no? charming and handsome bastard that i am.

maybe i don like thinking i can’t figure you out. yer rank pulling stunt has me wanting to punch the head clean off ye, but i still think i can crack ye. it’d do ye some good, lt. i told ye as much in las almas, and i meant it. not sure if ye got it, though.

well. i’ve not got anything left to tell ye, not today, and my hands are cramping somethin awful so i’ll sign off. until next time, ye jackarse.

J

notes to the readers that might exist:

in addition to literally any feedback you have, i have some specific questions about bits im particularly unhappy with/insecure about. but dw bout being too harsh or honest, i was in writing workshops (you wouldnt be able to tell smh) with liberal arts students with something to prove so my skin has been thickened yk. if by the grace of god you wanna beta pls lmk and ill have a child just so i can give you my firstborn xx

how do we feel about the strikethroughs? personally i think they can help me say shit that i want the reader to know but dont think johnny completely means or is ready to say

should i push details like that which reinforce that this is written by hand? like shorthand, writing + instead of "and"

i put slashes around things that i would otherwise italicize bc that's what i do when i journal. does it work? what would work better?

should the entries include dates?

how severely does it sound like an american trying to sound scottish lol? lmk what works/doesn't work im dying out here

i have an idea for the last chapter (despite not having a plot) and tbh it's predictable as hell but it could be zesty (;

[petscrub]

Tbh i feel very inspired today. I guess i just feel like i have such a better understanding of myself. Things make more sense to me and i know who i am, what i stand for, what i like. I’m even taking care of myself more. Finally realizing what self care can do for a person lmao.

I know what i want to show in my art as well as what kind of art i want to make. Im beginning to feel more represented in my own work. I’ve also been thinking, since im in such a better place, that i want to go back to school…. Or at least take classes somewhere. I know school isnt a necessity for me but i miss it, and i feel sad about the fact that i had an opportunity and i was too sick to take it. (I was enrolled but dropped out, eventually got my associates but it was a struggle to even get that far). I feel like i genuinely would thrive in school now… its just the money aspect that holds me back. If anything ill try and find some classes here in nyc, but idk whats good or where to look? I’d like a beginner/intermediate painting class, maybe a sewing course even. And i love to get some film work under my belt for the experience.. (which i actually have something coming up in the fall that i think will be a great job and learning experience).

I also miss being able to express myself through fashion a lot? I guess it really does mean a lot to me sometimes. I go through periods where it doesnt. But i love getting dressed up and being experimental and feeling confident and good about myself. I just dont have a job where i can do that plus i dont go out much right now so i dont have the opportunity to have fun with clothing and style.

Over the past year i keep coming back to the idea of school. But i think classes will suffice. I really just want friends too so that i can be collaborative. Most of my work is so solo, which i love and enjoy, but when it comes to film and stuff its better to have people who inspire you and can help of course. I always try bumble bff but it never really goes anywhere.

All that being said, i just feel pretty good right now. I usually experience highs after an extreme low/suicidal thoughts. Oh! I also think some kind of writing class would be cool. Im working on my novel and its getting somewhere but damn longhand is hard. Not having the luxury of erasing and editing has been very difficult. I may have to switch back to the computer :/

Anyway. Im tired of procrastinating my life you know? Everything i want is possible. I know i have talent and ambition. I just have to act on it.

[kanene-yaaay]

Sleep

Kanene’s note: Heya! It’s me, Mario!!! dfghjkrgthjk jk jk. Okay, that idea hit me in the middle of the night and I think it’s very cute!! So have a bit of tickles and fluff and teases today! 

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to the anime/manga Boku no Hero.

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!!  ^w^)b

* This is Switch!Yamada with Switch!Aizawa. They’re in a romantic relationship. Around 2.200 words.

* The Ler!Aizawa part was inspired by these tickle-headcanons! They’re absolutely amazing!!!!

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Consume some of your comfort content! Fanfic, series, movies... anything that makes u happy! Drink water, sleep, eat and love! Today is another day and I’m proud that we’re both still here.

[~*~]

Yamada woke up to complete darkness.

 Which wasn't such a rare occurrence. With both his and his husband’s tendencies of having migraines their room was often bathed in a total lack of light, and that,  together with the fact of Aizawa being an incorrigible cuddle bug who soaked his ‘daily dose of morning snuggles’ – as Hizashi loved to call them and loved even more the other’s blushed face and deadly glare directed at him every time he dared to say such thing -  was enough for him to find no surprise at all in feeling the pressure of Aizawa basically using him as his own personal bed.

 “Morning, babe.” He maneuvered himself to gently kick Shouta’s legs off him, which resulted in the immediate locking of arms on the blonde’s waist, Shouta mumbling whatevers as he nuzzles his chest, making Yamada giggles quietly. He began to comb Aizawa’s hair with his fingers, both out of adoration with how much adorable his husband could be and to take it from his own face so he would be able to see what time it was.

 Eight in the morning. Yep. Time to start getting ready for their meeting with Nedzu and his usual Saturday patrol. He would also need some time in between those to call the Radio’s station and see if everything was ok with today’s interviewed, get a couple more of songs to play tonight and make sure to come back at two in the afternoon so he and Eri could have some quality time as Shouta slept a bit to not pass out on his night patrol.

 OK. That sounds like a plan! Time to begin the day with a proper breakfast since both were equally horrible in keeping a healthy routine and he would probably forget to eat lunch since Eri wouldn’t be there with him serving as an adorable, lovely reminder that humans have basic needs in order to be alive.

 He tried to move, receiving an annoyed growl as an answer, the arms squeezing a bit firmer. Hizashi snorted.

“Sho, I need to make breakfast and wake up Eri, okay?” He kissed the top of his head and traced an imaginary flower on his cheek, voice soft, feeling the other melt on him, humming happily. “You can sleep a few minutes more.”

 “No. Warm.”

 “I will bring you our cats, you can show your undying love to them, then.” Hizashi tried to pry the other’s grip from him, unsuccessfully. “Come on, let me go. We have a meeting to attend with Nedzu today, remember?”

 “Fuck ‘im.”

 Hizashi controlled himself to not bark a laughter, fingers itching to get his phone and amplify his blackmail treasures. “Shh, he will hear you.”

 “’don’t wanna cats,” Aizawa’s tune was slurred and he deposited a tired kiss on his bare shoulder, “I wan’ you.”

 And damn if that didn’t turn his weak heart in a happy gooey puddle, his smile going from one ear to another and his resolve to be a responsible adult and get out of the bed was almost burned to total inexistence.

 Key word: Almost.

 Especially when the raven haired adult sighs contently, his breath lightly tickling his neck and leading to a quite evil idea to gain form and color on his mind. His smile got wider, eviller.

 “Okay, babe.” Yamada’s hands rested on the other’s sides, going up, fingers smoothly running across his ribs, his nails barely grazing the skin as they went slowly back and forth, back and forth. A soft ‘tsk’ flew on the air as the smaller began to squirm. “Let’s have some fun then, shall we?”

 His index fingers stopped their dance to focus on his lowest rib, circling that sweet spot in the middle of it while the other fingers concentrated in clawing the horribly sensitive skin around it, staying firm on their task even when Aizawa jumped with the ticklish jolts that hit him.

 “H-hi-hizasshhhi.” His tone was low, warning. His brain still trying to wake up enough while his body wobbly fought to escape from the sensations, his struggles increasing specifically when his husband adjusted him so he would be laying on his back on the top of him, arms criss crossed on his chest.

 “Oh, is someone finally waking up? ~” Aizawa scrunched, Yamada’s breath hitting his ears. However, his attempts proved themselves futile as the other took as his duty to nibble, huff and puff on the ticklish spot, going from one ear to another with ease, finally breaking his husband’s barriers and being rewarded by a low, fast giggly fit. “I wonder what I did to deserve that my incredible, handsome decided to bless my morning with his sunny presence today!”

 “Hizashi, I am going to k-ILL” His snickers suddenly raised an octave as the blonde gave a quick squeeze on his hips that made his waist jerk instinctively.

 “Now, now, is that way to greet the love of your life?” Hizashi whined. “Stop laughing, Sho! I’m trying to hold a serious conversation here but something tells me you’re distracted.” Yamada kept lazily poking him, slow enough to leave him breathing properly, but quick enough to tear snorts and chuckles from his firmly pressed lips.

  “D-d-don’t.” His face was in flames as a barely muffled squeak fell from his mouth as Hizashi gave a quick nip right behind his left ear, letting out an adoring ‘Awww. Isn’t he adorableee?~’ in the process.

 “I am- I am going to get you back for that! You know I will!”

 “So grumpy, so cutee. ~”

 He tried to turn in order to give his beloved a deadly glare which usually made his students and villains fear for their lives, his eyes only barely catching his husband’s bright smile before his breath was stole when his partner resolved to attack, unmerciful squeezes mixed with a couple of thumbs digging energetically on his hips, kneading, tickling.

 His laughter filled the room.

 “HIZASHI!!” He kicked and trashed, but in vain.

 “What is it, babe?” The other started to switch between his tickle spots, knowing he couldn’t take it too long or they would be late. “Wow! I didn’t know you could be so alive in the mornings, love!! Have you been hiding that from your awesome husband all along?” Nails scratching on his armpits, fingers prodding his ribs, wriggling on his waistline, drumming on his belly. “All that beautiful laughter? All that wonderful snorts? And giggles? And squeals? Now, I am wounded, Sho! I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other!”

 When nothing except laughter and squirming answered him, he decided to stop, deciding the few minutes of fun were already enough adrenaline to maintain Shouta conscious enough until he prepared his coffee. He quickly laid the other on the mattress, resting some kisses on his face as his husband got his breath back.

 “You-” He gasped, hiding his smile behind his hand. “You better run.”

 In a second Hizashi was out of their bed, “OkayloveyousomuchbabeI’mgoingtowakeEriupdon’tkillmeIloveyousosomuchbye.”

 And run he did.

 [~*~]

 Shouta dumped his capture weapon on the couch, immediately seeing three blurs of fur dashing from his peripheral vision directly to the object, meowing and getting tangled as they fiercely ‘fought’ with it. Shouta knew that this being his weapon and therefore an important part of his work, he shouldn’t let his cats play with it. However, as he petted two fluffy heads that popped from the cloth and the exhaustion started to totally take over his body and actions, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had some spare scarves somewhere, he was sure.

 “Dumb cats.” He fondly remarked, scratching their newest kitten under her chin before adventuring to his room, stopping only to check on Eri and relax as he found her calmly sleeping on her bed. Good.

 His eyes narrowed as he noticed the light coming from under his bedroom, sighing and putting his eyedrops, already aware of the other fight he would have to face.

 “Hizashi,” it’s his greeting. The blonde hums, glare still clued on the screen in front of him, head resting on one of his hands, “it’s three in the morning and we have classes tomorrow. Turn that thing off.”

 “Hypocrisy, hypocrisy.” Yamada sings, hand rocking in the beat of his imaginary melody, the tiredness dripping from his words. Yet he took off his headphones, turning on his direction with alert eyes. “Are you hurt?”

 “Nah, slow night.”

 “Good.” Hizashi smiled. A small, true smile that spread a warm feeling across his chest and only made his resolute to protect his husband from every bad thing in the world grew stronger, even if the ‘bad thing’ which threatened him right now was his horrible sleep schedule. “We saved some dango for you.  It’s on the fridge.”

 Aizawa nodded, watching him turn back to his computer. “I’m going to grade 1-A tests when I am back.” And that perked the other’s attention, since both had the habit of grading tests together in order to get some quality time on their incredibly busy lives.

 That is why the taller was sitting on the bed with a pack of papers in his hands when Shouta came back, falling on the mattress face first, relaxing on the soft fabric. But, he couldn’t concentrate on that feeling now, turning to his left and trapping Yamada with his arms around his sides, legs entangling.

 “Sleep.” He clued his face on the other’s stomach, his voice vibrating across the skin and gathering a mix of snort and squeal, probably because of the ticklish sensation.

 Oh. Ticklish.

 “Babe, I really can’t right now. There are those videos I asked for my students to do and I really need to analyze and give them the results before the weekend.” Aizawa scolded his expression so his devil smirk wouldn’t be noticed by Hizashi, instead he looked up, locking their eyes, his features inexpressive as ever.

 Hizashi bit his lower lip.

 He frowned, intense glares.

 “Okay, okay! You know I am weak for those kitten eyes, your cheater.” The blonde pouted and pointedly ignored the smug shining on his partner’s face. “But this is only a break, ok? Just some cuddles and then I’m going to finish my work.”

 Aizawa hummed, not quite agreeing, not disagreeing. Yamada laid down and chuckled as the raven haired adult quickly hid his face on his neck, a hand absently running on his back and melting his strict pose.

 “Cuddlebug.”

 A yelp escaped from his lips as Aizawa used a thumb to prod the so, so sensitive skin between his shoulder blades. The morning events from yesterday fell on him as a bucket of cold water, sending shivers down on his spine, essentially when Yamada tried to wiggle away, finding his form very well secured on his love’s arms.

 “Shouta, no.” Shouta hummed, his voice vibrating on the sweet spot that was his neck, his stubble helping in nothing the giggles which already began to bubble on his throat. “Shouta, please, my love, light of my life,” he could almost feel the other’s wicked grin grow, the hand tensing behind him, “no, no, no! I can’t! You know I can’t! Shouta, I-”

 And with no warning a loud shriek - which didn’t break their windows due how fast Aizawa activated his own quirk - dashed from his mouth, laughter blooming as a mix of pokes, scratches and kneading along the whole extent of his upper back, even giving some special attention to his ribs and spine, kept him in stitches.

 His back arched at the tickly tickles, sending him directly to the unbearable nuzzles of his husband, the main reason for so many squeaks and squeals make themselves present on his uncontrollable laughter.

 “Tsk, tsk. One would think that such a known pro-hero would be able to put up with a better fight.” Nuzzle. Scribble. Unintelligible pleas of mercy. Raspberry. “Always so easy to read…You could at least try to pretend you aren’t loving every. Second. Of. It.”

 “Shouta! Nono! Shuhuhut up! Shut up!”

 “It’s not my fault you were always so defenseless to teases. What about we train you to endure them?”

 Hizashi shook his head, laughing and shrieking too much to gather a real answer.

 And, as sudden the attack came, it was gone. The hand went up to gently massage his scalp, tearing a relaxed sigh from Yamada as he fought to get his breath back, high-pitched giggles still tripping from his lips since the light tickles continued on his poor neck, sporadic kisses and eventual nibbles on the spot right under his chin maintaining his gigantic, bright smile.

 “So ticklish, so helpless. Just a few well placed touches and I can already defeat you.”

 “You talk as if you were any less susceptible.” A squeeze on his knee warned him about the possible consequence of his words. Hizashi pinched his thigh in retaliation, although much less energetic.

 “Don’t. Different from you, I want to get some real sleep.” And then he started to comb the blonde hair, Yamada’s eyelids began to drop, his tiredness now being much more present as the other used his number one melt spot against him.

 “Cheater…”

 “You will survive.” Shouta tilted his head up and kissed his husband’s lips, also starting to drift away as Hizashi’s arms pulled him closer.

 “Good night, babe.”

 “Night.”

[booksbookandmorebooks]

Things i loved about the little women 2019 movie.

Hello lovelies, im back with another review today of the amazing Little women 2019 adaptation. Quite honestly I have a bit of a history with this story as I have tried reading the book many times (as I'm sure a lot of you who follow me on other social medias will know) and each time I have sadly DNF’d it. I cant help but feel it severely lacking something, upon reflection I think it was a number things, one of which was I felt no relation to any of the characters and couldn't find any shared similarities, I did not enjoy the pacing and the slice of life style was a bit of a struggle to keep me engaged. So when attending the movie for the first time, I didn't Have very high hopes and was still unsure about whether it would deliver but wow, I can honestly sit back and say it was just beautiful. The cinematography, the characters, the stories, just everything. I fell in love. So much so I have now seen it 3 times, and each time has been just as much of an emotional roller coaster as the first! If you have not watched the movie yet I implore you, I beg you to do so as soon as possible!

So today im bringing you a list of things I really liked. If you enjoy this post please hang around for the second part of this review ‘’what I didn’t like about little women’’ which will be uploaded very shortly.  Without further ado, here we go!

The warm and cosy aesthetic.

This movie provides such a wonderfully cosy feeling when watching it, almost like you're watching your best friends living their day to day lives with how invested and entranced you are by the smallest of interactions and conversations yet, I had no prior introductions with the characters (in a positive way) no bond with them but some how due to this intense feeling I found I care about each of the girls almost instantly. I cannot tell you how that was achieved, whether it’s the beautifully warm aesthetic of that time period or whether its down to good script writing I cannot say for sure but what I did feel was just mass amounts of affection throughout providing me with some very strong opinions and views early on.

The movie has as I stated, a warm feeling but yet is also very hard hitting at times, very raw and emotional. Of which the director leaves all of these feelings at the surface so the audience feel it just as hard. This enables the audience to really sympathise and empathise with the emotions of the characters in various scenes, thus creating a strong bond of shared pain. Whether that be through the death of a loved one, unrequited romance, career frustrations, family arguments, money struggles and many more.

The themes explored:

I really enjoyed the different themes this movie explores and how it manages to achieve this in such a subtle way to. There is never anything too in your face or extreme in this movie, which is why its paced so perfectly. we see themes of war (the girls father is away for a good portion of the movie and we have a wonderful scene where the girls are huddled round their mother while she reads his letter from the trenches out loud and we see a very raw moment they all share) we see themes of classes in the community (the extremely wealthy shown through Laurie and his father) the working families through the marches and extreme poverty through the young single mother who the marches provide constant support for, and the most common I feel, is the theme of death. I will not go into too much detail but, just be warned this is a very very constant theme, due to the time period this book/movie was set in it is only to be expected when you think about it.

The cast:

Meryl Streep. That’s it, that’s the point. No more is needed. Meryl Streep.

The Girls:

Now we come to my absolute favourite part of this movie. every single one of the girls had their shining moment, a real moment where they had to look into themselves and find their inner strength and make some very hard but real decisions in their lives and the way they were all delivered was spectacular, the amount of emotion we see from the girls was so empowering in such a way that had you experiencing a real ‘’hell yeah!’’ moment for these characters.

Amy: Her speeches to Laurie, my favourite being the one about society's expectations of women and how they are not treated as equals and are only seen as prizes given to reward men. Her issues with love and marriage and her desire to marry well for her future, that she wants to independent, she wants to great at her art and will not settle for anything less, all of which was such a moment seeing her react to such a throw away comment from a man in such an strong manner was just a powerful thing especially given the time period when women weren't seen as anything of real value and potential. They were mothers and daughters, they were kitchen staff they had their place and it was not a place equal to a man, never understood higher. The idea was strictly inconceivable.

’’I want to be great or nothing.’’

Meg: The scene where she really discovers the meaning of unconditional love in regards her husband after we have seen them in a very hard position and seen fracture begin to form in their relationship due to money worries and the stresses of a poorer life style than she had previously known, a life style we see is a lot less giving than we see her friends are blessed with. This ultimately leads meg to experience a lack in judgement, jealousy and resentment, but then we are able to see her redemption, We see her accept the selfishness of her actions, right the wrong she has caused through her thoughtlessness and welcome her husband into open arms with love and support regardless of their struggles. A really beautiful moment for the both of them.

Beth: The scene on the beach with Beth and Jo was definitely a stand out one for me, when Beth is pushing Jo to further her career as she knows how strongly Jo feels about writing . she is able to see through her sisters stubbornness, forget her own personal fear and troubles and do this one last thing for her sister, help inspire her to achieve her dreams. Which is one of many scenes that bought a tear to my eye, and just shows the immense strength Beth has after being seen as the weak and quiet one for so long, if anything this scene is a testament to that, and I see it as proof she is the strongest out of them all. She has her head screwed on the tightest and when faced with an impossible situation she chooses to help the people who mean most to her through the hardest of times instead of showing an ounce of fear or self pity.

Jo: Now lets be honest here. Jo has so many empowering scenes there are too many to list so I am sticking once again with my personal favourite...

When Jo sells her hair for help her family and mother

we see her strong and fearless in the face of others and throughout the movie. Characteristics she is renowned for, she knows what she must do for her family and she does it, she does it without a second thought and expects no praise. She takes seemingly, on the chin. but yet when doors are closed we see her become so much more human and fragile about this situation and pine for her femininity . Something she has shown no care or thought for prior yet through this scene it becomes apparent that Jo, behind this strong facade is still a woman, and all women want to feel beautiful, which I know is something we can all relate to. Jo has always been the character people want to be, shes strong, determined, career driven shes the ideal independent career woman but yet through this specific scene she becomes that little bit more human and that little bit more reachable.

And there we have it. Due to the length of this post I will be separating my review into two parts as I stated in my intro. I hoped you enjoyed this first part and have a fantastic few days, ill see you soon.

[otterplusharchive]

do you have problems with overworking yourself with art? ive started promoting my art way more on social media and i keep having to make myself take a break and not draw anymore so i dont burn myself out or hurt my back by sitting too long. i love drawing and its my favorite hobby so its hard to make myself stop even when i feel tired or overworked. i was kind of wondering if anyone else had that experience

oh absolutely, this is something that ive heard countless other artists struggle with and its something that i have a lot of trouble with. i could really go on an hour long rant about my thoughts on art and artists relationship with social media and how social media has influenced and changed how we view and create art not always for the better but ill try to keep my rambling short here. for me ive found that while its perfectly fine and often helpful for finding support through promoting ur art online, theres this weird pressure that you can end up putting yourself under. its a good idea to practice drawing every day if youre able to, but remember that you DO NOT have to be POSTING your art every day. i think that the rise of like daily vlogs and daily challenges really has kind of set up this weird mentality where people feel like they need to be cranking out huge great amazing finished drawings to post every single day when thats just not.. reasonable or healthy to be expecting of yourself. this idea that you have to be posting art every single day leads to being burnt out and exhausted really easily. and since we feel like we need to be making more than we are that in turn leads to overworking ourselves even when were tired and burnt out. its a cycle thats really hard to get out of and ive been working hard on trying to get myself to create and share my art in a way thats healthier for myself. something that has helped me has been my loved ones telling me that i need to stop and take a break when i mention being tired but still wanting to do more, and in general i think its important to practice listening to your body and stop when you start feeling strained or in pain. setting smaller goals for myself has also helped along with not beating myself up if i cant meet those goals. like for example, today i want to draw and im going to set a goal of sketching at least one thing in my sketchbook. if i sketch more than one thing thats great! but if i end up not being able to draw today im not going to beat myself up over it, ill step back and remind myself that my ability to create changes like the tides and its okay to have days or longer periods of time where its hard to create. be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time you need to rest, if youre feeling really antsy to create even when youre tired its helped me before to write down ideas and descriptions of what it is i want to make along with very very loose and rough thumbnails so i can come back and refine it later when im rested and able to draw. i believe in u!

[barryslightningrod]

Hey!🤗 How ‘bout 27, 28 & 39! Thank you!✌️

27. best review you ever got

I love every review I’ve ever gotten ❤️ Including the gif responses on Tumblr 😂 But these are some I’ve saved to read when I’m having a bad day that make me laugh or make me tear up. I couldn't pick one and they remind me how much fun this is:

“My word! This fic is amazing! What I loved most about it was that it's quite poetic and artistic in creating its own canvas of Barry and Iris, how colourless both of them felt after the breakup and how full of life they are together. I genuinely enjoyed the art commentary at the beginning and the seriously hawt sex. Hot damn. The paintbrush should have grossed me out but it was seriously hot af.”

“Where does one even start with this precious story you've given us? You paint such a beautiful setting with the ice cream parlour and Noah's feelings of having to work on such a busy summer day and of course, the sweet West-Allen family. I love the idea that Barry and Iris's love creates this little bubble around them that protects them and that they unintentionally get lost in their own little world with just the two of them. It only makes sense that this little world would expand to include their two sweet children. So much loves abounds between them, so much so that even Noah can see it in such a short amount of time. This story captures all that Barry has ever wanted: building a life with Iris and making their own traditions with their children while also keeping the memory of his parents alive as best as he can. Goodness. This is truly such a special little story.”

“Whew, chile....this had my blood pumping first thing in the morning. LOL. OOC or not this was SUPER HOT so thank you for sharing.”

“Once again, love the character reveal, specifically, Iris's determination, self-reliance and work ethic, even while masturbating! But like you say in one of the comments, I can only imagine that she does feel like this regularly. While there are many, many benefits of being with a speedster, there are a ton of drawbacks and regular loneliness is one of them.But check out how neither of them is surprised when Barry returns. She's relieved and not embarrassed and he just comes in and finishes the job without hesitation. sigh.”

The stories I've read from you so far are perfect in rendering the sheer emotion that's generated between these two. You can really feel the palpable force or love and pain, joy and sorrow between them. It makes reading that much more enjoyable”

“OMG *CRIES* THIS WAS SO TENDER AND SO FLUFFY CUTE I DIE!!!!!This cuteness is TO MUCH FOR MY POOR HEART *AHH*I DONT THINK THERE ARE WORDS ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS OMG (Hence all the caps)“What’s your treasure, Daddy?” Don poses.“You guys are my treasure,” Barry answers with soft reverence, the glimmer in his eyes as he looks upon hischildren visible even from where Iris stands, and her heart swells so tremendously that she feels it might burst."*flows of tears* OH MY GOSH!!! BARRY ALLEN IS THE BEST FATHER EVER SERIOUSLY..I MELTED WITH EACH WORDHE WOULD SAY TO HIS KIDS AND HOW LOVING AND CARING HE IS OF THEM WHILE IRIS IS AWAY GAH MY HEART“You’re my treasure, you know that?” she murmurs, clutching him more tightly.His beaming in response is instant as he recognizes that she’s been home all along, and he slides an arm down her back to tug her close to him while they head to their bedroom together.Yup, Iris thinks to herself as she leans her head against her husband's shoulder, upholding what she always believed. I wouldn't change a thing."*DEAD WITH FEELS* AHHH IF THE INTERACTION WITH THE TWINS WASNT ENOUGH, THIS WITH IRIS WAS THE CHERRY ON TOP!!!! GAH SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH!!! SHE WAS TOTALY IN AWWS OF HIM AND I CAN'TI HOPE WE GET SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN THE SHOW BECAUSE IF NOT IMA RE READ THIS A MILLION TIMES OVER.. IM LIKE DROWNING WITH FEELS RIGHT NOW ITS NO JOKE LOL THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!*Goes to a corner to cry some more happy tears*”

“Gorgeous! Iris's love for Barry is so tangible here, and I love how you managed to draw out how Barry says things to Iris and waits for her to interpret them for them both! Such a great piece, and one of my favorite moments! Thanks for writing and sharing!”

“You write sexual sensuality so well. It's so beautiful. It's like you really understand their characters and how they would approach their relationship. Well done, as always!”

“So much perfection. I can practically feel the smut that is to follow. The sizzle is REAL. And how wonderful that Grant's tweet inspired this! Just another wonderful after-effect to CP&GG's flirty twitter convo. hehe.This is my favorite:"His reply is instant. Right now? Your legs, he admits."Lmao. It's just so...like a knee-jerk response. He doesn't think much of it, just answers the question honestly & immediately, and just so casual. That stops immediately with HER VERY SUGGESTIVE response. haha. Oh goodness. But all of this was so lovely & steamy, in only a way yours can be. It's sexting for crying out loud & yet the UST is just...I mean..."Goddammit, Iris."XD So fabulous. Can't wait for your next piece!(Oh & also! - Even for The Flash? Especially for The Flash. lol)”

“Thank yo so much for this amazing fic. I wanted a fic like this for so long, even though about writing it myself but with lack of time it's hard. This is everything I wanted, because ever since she said she couldn't stop thinking about him and really wanted a fic where that was the case and you did it perfectly. Thank you. This is magnificent.”

“This is beautifully written. I wouldn't class it as smut per se but it is most definitely erotic and the pacing was perfect for a short story. I couldn't believe it was only 600+ words because you managed to get so much in there: Iris' regret, Barry's longing which turned into his conviction when they did get it right. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope to see more from you.”

“I couldn't get through a sentence without crying and trembling (you fuck me up). Wow! you took my breath away. It took me forever to finish reading because I had to stop and wipe my eyes several time. Excellent execution! Thank you”

“You did them justice with this short piece. A blow job has no business sounding this romantic, but it is, because you channeled the WestAllen into your words with your amazing talent. Thank you for sharing!”

“Beautiful story. Perfectly in character. I could definitely see them having "private" vows and "public" vows and that Barry would be the one to suggest it....he's such a romantic. Loved this so much and thanks for writing.”

“Ok for real, you are soo sooooo talented and I always look forward to reading your fanfics, those writers should reaaaaally hire you one of these days. Am supposed to be prepping for an exam but am literally glued to my phone right now reading and re-reading your fics, but what can I say.... TOTALLY WORTH IT:-P!!!”

“Inksmudge does westallen better than the tv show does westallen”

“AND PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE THAT THIS FIC MADE ME SOOOOO TURNED ON AND SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED THINKING ABT WESTALLEN GET ON AFTER SEEING CANDICE AND GRANT GORGEOUS HIATUS FACES ON THEIR RESPECTIVE INSTA TODAY KNOWING DAMN WELL ILL NEVER GET OT ON THE SHOW”

“Whenever I see you posted a story, it's like fanfic christmas or easter. You know, because you don't do it a lot so whenever you do post it's special. It's like when you open your ask on tumblr. I'm just like "Ohh Ink is Back, YAY!" No matter what the story is about. Cheers!”

“I don't know how you do it--how you manage to integrate love, lust, grief and sadness into one beautiful thing. This particular chapter feels like a combination of the ones that came before in terms of themes. Iris trying to maintain on her own, the struggle to have and give up control, her beef with the Speedforce, etc. But I would also like to point out just the DAMN GOOD WRITING. Your writing is so fluid and your vocabulary so rich that you kind of make it look easy, to be honest. But sentences like these are just real gems://She cries his name loudly, moans in euphoria like she needs the Speed Force, God, whoever took him to hear her as a vengeance, to know that she had him back and was never letting him go.//That line just won't let me go.”

28. worst review you ever got

I can't remember if it was my brief story about Barry and Cisco getting haircuts together or the little story I wrote about drunk Iris after Cecile’s baby shower, but someone on Fanfiction.net reviewed it as just “Stupid.” I deleted the comment 😂

39. do you want to be published someday? 

I would yes, but I think I would want to be published for poetry or a personal narrative essay as of now. I don’t have many ideas for original fiction at this time, but I would be thrilled to be published for that one day. A girl can dream 😔

[liverpops]

a couple replies under the cut!!

💝everyone... i luv u T_T i’m actually crying really ugly but i’m so happy bc it’s a wonderful happy crying💗 thank you for your support!!

i hope you’re all right!! hospital trips are never terribly fun. i’m casting the softest curaga from afar!!! rest well<3333

you could never be annoying, promise<3 it means a lot to me that you would take the time to write me just to tell me that, MY heart is blooming like a flower right now!!! HOLDS YOUR HANDS SO TIGHTLY FROM AFAR!! i’m glad if i’m even a bit of a comfort or presence when youre feeling blue. depressi episodes are never easy to get through, but i’m so proud of you for being such a wonderful sweet champion💓💗💗 thank YOU!! never change!!

oh anon, you could never be a bother. i wish i could be there for you in person to hold your hand or just sit by your side!! i’m sorry your day was so awful, but i’m really happy that a smile managed to find its way to you💝 you’re so strong!! let my selfish wish be that you smile again today, and even more in the coming days!! i’m here for you!!

FOR SOME REASON TUMBLR WAS GLITCHING OUT AND NOT LETTING ME REPLY PRIVATELY GRRRR so sorry abt answering here!! nyehehe I’M HAPPY THAT MY SILLY AU MANAGED TO YANK YOU IN >:) now.... we’re in this together!!!!!!! a lot of liverpepper has to do with things i crave or covet—not necessarily adopting at a young age for myself, but just.. the idea of family and warmth, and that sense of being loved and belonging and going through with decisions you make no matter the adversity, and i’m glad if leon deciding to become a parent the way he did is smth that rang nicely with you! you’re wonderful, thank you so much!! (real life or no, i’m rooting for you in all your plans and dreams! one day perhaps, hmm? ^o^)

OHHHHH THANK YOU SMMMMM ;___; thats such a wonderful compliment bc i just want to make soft warm things!!! 💘💗💘💗 ive been struggling a bit to settle on a consistent way of coloring and drawing (ive been switching between drawing on ipad and laptop and the results are currently.... KINDA MESSY 😖) so this really makes my day, thank you!! i’m happy to still be here💗

meds can be a bit difficult, huh? i definitely know the feeling. please don’t forget to take them on time and get your refills!! i’m glad though that your new meds dont make you feel as gross as your old ones did—it’s always a relief when something works a bit better. i’ll make sure to try and draw some more indulgent being-taken-care-of!Cloud for you during the year! i hope you have the warmest 2019 and that you receive nothing but love and fill your days with as many smiles as you can💗💗💗💗💗 RAISE YOUR HAND BC IM HIGH-FIVING YOU FROM AFAR!!!!!!!!! 

hello!! i want to point out that whenever ppl call me either by name or by a cute nickname like peps or anything like that, my heart just grows about 2894723x in size so....im here wheezing on the ground just from the start of your message!! i’m glad my silly things are even a bit of a cheerup for you, bc they cheer me up too! it isn’t easy when the feeling of loneliness surrounds you, huh T_T holds your hand tightly!!!!!! i’ll do my best to take care of myself, thank you for caring like that<3333 i’m looking forward to kh3 too!! check back w me after youve played it so we can cry together!!

@myadburks 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 if i could paste 1 billion heart emojis for you i would, but tumblr would never let me unfortunately, so that’ll have to do! thank you so much for your love and support<333 YOURE the wonderful one for taking the time to be so sweet like this!!!!

@ anon: AAAAHHHHHH for a long time now??????? i cant wrap my head around that anytime anyone says it!! thank you so much!!!!! HAHA omg see i very very rarely go back to look at the old posts bc i dddddie at my old drawings, but it definitely does make for a pleasant time capsule of art progression HEHE. here’s hoping i improve even more with every drawing!!! CHEERS ILL DRINK TO YET ANOTHER YEAR OF SHENANIGANS!!! ty for staying on this train w me for so long, dear anon!!!💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

;_____;💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗anon...... youre making me melt.... tysm T__T sometimes i have awful annoying voices at the back of my mind telling me it’s ridiculous that all i ever contribute to fandom-wise is just my own sandbox and self-indulgent shenanigans, so it’s always nice to be reminded that it’s appreciated anyway💗 thank you, this means more to me than you could ever imagine.

ANON!!!!!!!!!!!! are you trying to make me explode?????????????? first off, thank you for all the years of support!!!!!!!!!!! I BLOW U A KISS........ I CRY!!!!! thank YOU for bringing the biggest smile to my face. YOURE the great one here!! <333333 thank you for appreciating all that i do, theres a lot of love in this universe and i hope it shows!!!! have a wonderful day, sweet anon!!!!!!

[timeoutforthee]

Like it or Not-Chapter 21

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl, @bubblycricket, @fnp-alizay, @neonbluetiefling, @comicsimpson, @a-little-bit-of-ace

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings:  Remus, disturbing imagery, reference to suicide

Read it on AO3!

“Today, we start a new chapter,” Mr. Hurley announces at the front of the room.

Roman lifts his head up from where it was resting on his desk. He was definitely not thinking about yesterday, about what it could mean, where it meant he was going, nope, he was not thinking about any of that. Especially not now. Now, it was time to focus on theater.

“Playwriting,” his teacher continues, “is one of the most necessary parts of a theater production.”

Roman perks up even more at that. A form of storytelling? Meaning he could be a part of the theater and not be seen at the same time?

“I know you guys have been brainstorming for a few weeks,” Mr. Hurley says, “Today I want you to get with a partner and discuss your ideas. You will be working with this partner to write a play, which then will be performed in December. To really push your creativity, I’m going to be assigning the partners.”

Mr. Hurley starts calling out some names, and the desks around him start shifting.

“Roman and Remus,” Mr. Hurley says.

Roman must have heard him wrong, from all the chairs squeaking. There was no way his partner was-

But then he heard a laugh from next to him, and he turned to see Remus Duke sitting next to him.

“Oh, isn’t this exciting?” Remus asks.

“So what were you brainstorming?” Roman says, immediately cutting to the point.

“I was thinking we could do an offbeat story. Something that will really leave an impression on the audience.”

“A good impression, right?”

“Sure,” Remus says, in a voice that says he couldn’t care less what kind of impression it was, as long as it was an impression. “So I was thinking we could play with more mature themes.”

“Like what?” Roman is dreading the answer.

“I want to start off with an affair. A man catches his wife cheating with his best friend. So he goes to his other friends searching for support, but they all side with his friend-”

“Why...why would they do that?”

“I don’t know, you could figure that part out,” Remus says, “So he’s alone and unwanted so he pours gasoline over his head-”

“Whoa, whoa, what?”

“Yeah, and then he takes a match-”

“Does he survive?”

“Survive? Of course not, he set himself on fire!”

“Why?” Roman brings his hand to his forehead, “Why would you-what made you-you know what? Forget it. No.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve been brainstorming for a while. I’ve got plenty of ideas.”

“Do you have any ideas that are less-”

“Demented?”

“...well, you said it, not me.”

“No,” Remus huffs, “People need to be challenged, Roman.”

“Challenging people and telling people’s stories honestly is one thing,” Roman counters, “Telling a story because you think it’ll get a reaction is another.”

“Oh, what’s the difference?” Remus says, “It’s the same story in the end.”

“No, it’s not,” Roman thinks back to all the times he’s read a story that claims to represent him and finds out it’s just mocking him, “Just-trust me.”

“Wow, a very compelling argument,” Remus deadpans, “You can’t write off any idea that isn’t your own, Roman.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do!”

“Really? Because it sure seems like it to me.”

“Okay, fine, what are some other ideas you have?”

“I want to write a Thanksgiving story-”

“Okay, that sounds nice-”

“About a girl with bulimia who has to suffer through the holiday.”

Suddenly, Roman can’t breathe. He’s hit with flashes of what happened, what he did to himself yesterday. How much Thanksgiving affects him. The idea of having to immerse himself in the holiday for four months while they write this story seems unbearable.

“No.”

Remus scoffs, “I knew you would shoot down every idea I had. You’re not the only creative one in this class.”

“Mr. Hurley would never let us do it,” Roman knows it may be a stretch, but it’s worth a shot.

“I am the one who stepped up and took over the role of the beast. Mr. Hurley will let me do whatever I want. Besides, it’s a small play. We don’t have to worry about pleasing suburban moms.”

“Look, we can do any idea you have, just as long as it’s not that one,” Roman says. He immediately knows he’s made a mistake by the way Remus’s face lights up.

“Any idea?” Remus twirls the ends of his fake mustache.

“Well, we can discuss-”

“I don’t think so,” Remus says, “You said any, and if you want to take it back now, I bet we could see just what Mr. Hurley thinks about the eating disorder idea. But if I had to guess, since I am his new star, he’d probably love it.”

Roman opens his mouth to respond, to figure something out, to get himself out of this somehow. But just as he does, the bell rings. Remus smirks.

“Great. I’ll pick an idea for us and bring it in tomorrow.”

^

“I hate Remus,” Roman says, sitting down at their makeshift table in Mrs. Spencer’s room.

“Hate is a strong word,” Patton says.

“Don’t care. Hate him.”

“I would support you in this but I have no idea who you’re talking about,” Virgil says.

“You might have seen him around,” Roman says, “He wears a fake mustache.”

There’s a pause before Virgil says, “What?”

Roman shrugs, “He’s worn it since freshman year. Trust me, that is the least weird thing about him.”

“He’s worn a fake…?” Virgil shakes his head, “Okay, whatever. What’s the weirdest thing about him then?”

“His obsession with sickness, his obsession with buttholes-”

“Buttholes?” Patton asks.

“His obsession with death, his obsession with everything dark and evil in the world.”

“Sometimes a story needs a little darkness,” Virgil says, shrugging.

“Not like this!” Roman says, frustrated.

“Okay, yeesh, sorry, Princey.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just…,” Roman sighs, “I have all these ideas and people don’t take them seriously because they’re...butterflies and rainbows...meanwhile they’ll take him seriously even though he’s writing everything for the shock factor. Like sorry I think stories should be a fair representation or that they shouldn’t bother at all.”

“I think that’s fair,” Logan says, “Especially dealing with sensitive subjects like death and illness. Surely you can reason with him.”

Roman barks a laugh. “Reason? With Remus? Hysterical. Hilarious. Can’t be done.”

“Sounds like you guys have had a history,” Virgil says.

“You could say that,” Roman says, “If by that you mean we’ve hated each other for years and constantly have to battle it out for the lead.”

“Plus, you guys kinda look alike-”

“No, we don’t!” Roman interrupts Patton. “Sorry, I’ve gotten that a lot.”

“So, it’s true?” Virgil asks.

Roman groans, finally grabbing his lunch and setting it on his desk. “There is a slight, small possibility that we have a tiny similarity, sort of, kind of.”

“There’s a yearbook over there, Virgil,” Mrs. Spencer speaks up, pointing to the back book shelf.

“That’s not necessary,” Roman says.

Virgil gets up and walks to the back of the room.

“What’s this guy’s last name?”

Roman sighs “Duke.”

“Duke...and Prince…?”

“Oh, shut up,” Roman says, half-heartedly.

“So, I have unfortunate news,” Virgil says, finally finding the page, “This guy looks very much like you.”

“I know!” Roman says, throwing his hands in the air. “We look alike, we talk alike, but when it comes to ideas and creativity, we couldn’t be any farther apart! He is everything I don’t want to be.”

“That’s an interesting insult,” Virgil says, shutting the book and heading back to the table.

“Less insult, more truth,” Roman says, “I just...don’t want to be so careless in my art. I want to make something people enjoy, that they want to come back to, time after time. Something classic. And he just wants...I don’t know.”

“Aw, that’s beautiful, Roman,” Patton says, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to write happy things.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t make your art any lesser,” Logan says.

“And your ideas aren’t set in stone yet, you could use one of your’s.”

“Yeah, about that,” Roman says, taking a bite of his food. “Remus wanted to write a story about a girl who-and I quote-had to suffer through Thanksgiving.” He sees Patton’s face fall out of his peripheral vision, but he continues anyway, “I told him we could do anything as long as we didn’t do that one, and, of course, he took me seriously.”

“Is there any chance your teacher would stop it?” Logan asks.

“My teacher currently hates me and handed the role of the beast to Remus on a silver platter, I doubt it,” Roman says.

“Teachers don’t hate their students,” Mrs. Spencer speaks up again.

Roman and Virgil look skeptical but keep their mouths shut.

“Maybe you could bring something up to him if Remus’s idea is too bad,” Patton offers.

“I guess,” Roman says, “I mean, it’s not like I have anything to lose.”

[fcrevermcre-blog]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ (jeon jeongguk, cismale, he/him/his) have you seen YOON JISEOK “KIT” hanging around golden gate? i heard they’re from the WEST building, room ROOM W10 , and live with ONE roommates. the TWENTY ONE year old is A FILM STUDENT and always reminds of me of  HONEY, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, NEON LIGHTS, AND WELL-LOVED NOTEBOOKS . i wonder if that’s because of their FICKLE  but VEHEMENT personality.

hey hi hello!!!! im katie or kate or k or whatever u wanna call me. ive been rping since like 2008 but i havent been in a dash rp in at least a year and a half if not more than that but i am so excited to get to be here w my sweet baby kit!!! (sorry this is late / i will be a little ghost today, we’re suddenly getting our carpet tomorrow so im having to repaint my room now lmao)

anyway, here’s some stuff about kit for you!!!! (tw: a lil mention of mental illness and alcoholism here & there)

kit is a first generation korean-american, originally from south america. his father owned a film company back home, and he sparked the interest of an independent arizona-local korean film company. the pay was wonderful, and with kit’s mother expecting her first born in a few months, they packed their belongings and headed for america.

kit is the youngest sibling of three, having two older sisters. he and his sisters are very close in age, thus, the three of them are very close. (i think i’m gonna make a wanted connection for these if anyone’s interested!!!)

he’s always been a bit on the shy side, significantly more interested in art and a few close friends. the older he gets, the easier it is for him to make friends, though, and he finds himself enjoying being social more than he used to.

he’s never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend but is far from inexperienced. he grew up dancing, and very involved in school, so he just never had time for a relationship. he’s not opposed to the idea of it, however.

he studies film and makes what he calls short “documentary films” (that are really just artsy vlogs) on his youtube channel weekly. 

he’s warm and very affectionate, loves to snuggle and will easily be the big or little spoon (even if he prefers the little spoon. but he’ll never admit it.)

he has had insomnia for as long as he can remember, but he spends his sleepless nights drawing or editing or writing. along with his insomnia and sleepless nights comes some pretty rough boughts of anxiety. his anxiety is medicated and watched, but he struggles with it nonetheless.

kit’s a casual drinker & takes fondly to getting high (just weed, to cope with his anxiety. and sometimes ‘cause it’s fun). he’s careful because he’d watched his mother’s dearest friend nearly drink herself to death when he was a teenager.

he’s clean, always clean shaven, and i imagine he smells something like spearmint and honey at the same time.

he does have a tattoo, right now just the one, a small bouquet of flowers on the back of his left arm just above his elbow.

as i mentioned, he’s pretty comfortable with his sexuality. he doesn’t quite define himself, not yet, (but canon, he’s homosexual, panromantic, just hasn’t quite grasped that yet.)

he loves loves loves his family, loves his background, loves getting to visit korea, loves film, loves his people, and absolutely loves pheonix.

he’s very picky with himself and his surroundings, but he’s gentle and kind and warm and very willing to love on anybody that will let him.

if y’all wanna plot i’m down for anything, but!!! some really rough ideas ;

friends with benefits / kit’s never been genuinely tied down by definition, but he’d never be opposed to having an intimate relationship with a friend. they probably smoke and make out and talk like they’re dating, and really, everyone thinks they are, but they’re not, okay, it’s casual. (this one would be a boy.)

childhood best friend / he’s lived in arizona his whole life, so he’s probably got at least one good friend (maybe two, we could have a little group of them that have been friends forever) that he’s known his whole life. they know everything about each other, have seen each other at their best and their worst.

enemies to lovers or friends / if kit doesn’t like someone, there’s probably a reason. we could figure this out more once we work out our muses, but i think it’d be fun to play around with them disliking each other. he’s so usually soft, but maybe this person and him have rough history. (also a boy.)

study partner / kit’s in school for film, but obviously some of his friends probably go to the same school, so they met in some classes and now studying together is just a Thing they do.

ex “flirtationship” / they were never official, but they were probably in love. maybe they were each other’s first everything, and things ended pretty bad maybe because they tried to make it official and it scared kit? or whatever, we could talk. (this one’s probably a girl!!!)

anything!!!!! i love angst so like. angst is fun <3

[romanticiseeverything]

Thoughts during a full listen of sling by Clairo.

January 14th 2022. My favourite lyrics are in quotation.  

Listening to today’s album through a speaker, I think that listening through headphones would feel to isolating today. I want my mind to fill the spaces around me. I’m home alone at my parents’ house. It’s not the house I grew up in. They moved here when I finished high school. It’s interesting the different perspective someone gets when they become older and visit home. 

I almost stopped writing then because I got uncomfortable. 

Bambi 

“I don’t like to cry before I know why” 

Many feelings do not change, the safeness, ability to exist however I want to. Its more the new thoughts that arise from being here, whether that be from noticing the amount of pillows and blankets on my bed. 7 pillows and 4 blankets. 2 thick doovers. 2 think blankets. Sheets.  To noticing how my dad always does the washing up. To how we leave it till the morning and how every morning I wonder why each night we eat in front of the TV. Why don’t we take our food to the dining room table as much. It’s amazing how much I love, we love to sit in front of the TV. I’m struggling with being in front of a TV, its usually pointless shows that I’m watching that aren’t adding anything to me. But its a way to escape into another world. Because at the moment that’s one of the easiest things to do. 

The virus I hate talking about it, because it’s become this weird talking point everywhere all time. As though we are incapable of saying much else. 

Amoeba

“have your toes touch the lack of cement”

“I sip and toast to normalcy” 

I’m finding it hard to know what to do. I’ve just realised I wanted my writing to get better this is turning more into a journal not a story of any kind. To know where one should live is hard. Making the decision and finding somewhere has been toying on my mind. I was looking at one bedroom places, the only nice ones are extremely expensive it makes no sense to spend that much money, finding somewhere nice is what I want but im finding it hard. Because living at mum and dads is temporary.

Partridge

“I’ll let you walk and make your own discovery, that one of these days, I know that you might come back to me” 

It has been lovely and I’m so thankful that I can stay there. But it feels odd not having my own space and somewhere with all my records out. And music out. The dogs keep crying for no reason.

Zinnias 

“sure sounds nice to settle down for a while” 

I have an addiction to my phone and to watching TV. The little rushes of endorphins my phone gives me. I need to put it away and start doing things again that are slower. Don’t get me wrong. 

I’m finding this ever really hard trying to write for this length of time. 

I remember when I first listened to blouse, I was working at the hospital and was on my break sitting outside the pharmacy on a silver pole. Listening with my phone up to my ear, sipping on coffee. It brought tears to my eyes, happy or not its always hard to tell. I get water in my eyes all the time 

Blouse 

“Here we are, quiet at your kitchen table”

“Why do I tell you how I feel” 

There are so many things whirling around in my head that I want to. Write more music. Finish my songs. Write a book. Send of poetry. All these things and yet I haven’t actually managed to do anything. Stretching more I have and I’m proud of myself for doing that. Read more. Today ill do that. I think I find writing journals easier now because it’s a way I can get out all my thoughts. My brain lately is going at a million miles an hour. So many thoughts so many ideas. I thought about going to New York. Walking around going to art galleries getting coffee. Walking. Same old things. But Rona. Blog. Creative things. Instagram? Sunsets everyday? Sunrise would be more the challenge. Funny sleepy vibes. 

Wade

“There’s no real place. To go and I could really be alone” 

Age scares me. Not my age. Not ageing I’m very accepting of it for myself. But I worry about my family and them ageing. My parents. It makes me sad to think about them getting old because some reason they don’t seem strong enough but that’s my projection of what I see at hospitals. This hospital place has slowly implanted weird things into my head. It will pass. Do I need to stop working? It’s really hard to know because I finally came to my strides. 

Ill be constantly writing about him. He takes up this creative part of my brain, maybe that’s why I subconsciously hold onto him because of the creativity he brings out however maybe I just trick myself into thinking that and it isn’t actually the case. 

Harbour

“Ill pretend until it’s true. I don’t love you that way” 

“One of us knows when you hold me out and say. You don’t love me that way” 

I have found that I take advice and hold onto it from other people too often. I value the opinions of others but I think I need to be careful about who I'm taking advice from. Especially when it comes to creativity and style. My style I’m pretty good lately at trusting my own instincts. My music writing I guess I get very protective over. Because it’s usually very truthful. And I take advice of things needing to be faster or happier but the easiest ones to write sometimes are the ones that are slow and lyric based. I don’t have some amazing voice that can showcase these amazing pop or rock style songs. Which is why I like to turn to slower ballad folk song styles. We will get their maybe. Practice makes perfect. Age bothers me sometimes but I guess as well. Rona. Has ruined things.

Just for today 

“I’m distant enough to never fall behind”

“picturing the saddest scene of wearing bedsheets”

Makes sense why there were no words.How can you find words when they don’t exist .I guess we can just stand here and listen to the birds. The sun has finally come out .

After too much rain.

It’s hard to see it without holding my eyes shut for a second. Everything changes. What would I know about that. 

At least everything is green. 

Nourished.

All I can think about is what I want to eat for breakfast. An egg. Sunny side over. 

I cant wait to read today. It’s been a while. Sometimes i’ll sit and read all day. 

Ive been busying myself with strange things lately out of distraction from my life and my emotions and parts of myself I don’t want to live with When I’m sad I think of harry styles I don’t know about you.

Joanie

It’s wild I’m starting to run out of things to write I think it’s because I’m hungry and my caffeine is disappearing the coffee. Just wouldn’t last. The book I’m re-reading is a little life. I just want to read it for the characters. Not a fan of the darker bits of the book

Reaper

“I’m born to be somebody then somebody comes from me”

Little changes 

“I see the fog as a clean state” 

“A flower for you”

“A crack in the sky”

I mostly gave up on writing. It’s a wonder what happens when the mental fog comes in. all these body sensations are sticking out to me. A could kind of wave. 

Actually, I was listening to a podcast yesterday and they were talking about how cool it is to be the most embarrassing version of yourself. I think that’s really cool might use that as my motto now.

Management

“ Mum, would you give me a ring?”

[imissyoulilgucciv]

So this has become more of a journal/grief thing which is interesting because I’ve also had a blogger but set to private since like 13 so thats intense and I have thousands of compulsive letters to no one, but my head just doesn’t seem to sort itself out, unless I can actually slow down enough, like right here. 

Today, 

Woke up 2 hours earlier than usual so I could have 1.5 hours more to instal my art, the word art makes me uncomfortable which is funny to me, so I went to install my thing but there was an accident so instead I got there with 30 mins, I got most of it done but not all, didn’t matter it was an inprogress crit and I could enough up to see. I always have so much in my head and I also used text this time which I thought was also funny because when talked about they called it poetry and I just didn’t even look at it like that 

I feel like this is the first project I didn’t stress over at all, but also had a lot of time to do it and no pressure from the teacher with harsh deadlines or anything so that was part of it, the other part is being in such a place of discomfort and shock that I have to be slow and I don’t have it in me to add any more chaos to the grief I’m feeling. So for me that is actually one benefit of this, its just saying fuck it to a lot of things, but in good ways. 

 my teacher cried during my crit which made me feel just great, and then I didn’t get a parking ticket but I should have, so I was excited and left but then went back to remove my shit and photo and then I went to get my car and bring it closer for the camera (long story) but I drove my car back in a slightly different spot and then still got a ticket because  the chalk was still on my wheels even though I was gone for at least an hour and a half. but whatever theres like 4 hours worth of “work”, not my biggest worries though. 

Then I busted my phone, my thoughts were oh well now I have an excuse for not wanting to respond to this persons text about hanging out.  

so i go get my old phone to see if I should still use that one, and ofcorse doing this leads me to 1 years worth of messages with gus. The struggle is real, I can’t even cry because this is so overwhelming, I knew it was always hard, and I was different this time around because I Was pushing back, but like you just see the back and forward nature and gus is like “im done” this is too much for me and then the next day or same day its like hopeful for the future we have and even one that was a super cute photo of like flower people (to me it was super sexual but he didn’tn notice this until I pointed it out then we joked  about being watered) but he said he wouldn’t worry any more and that he was sure no matter where we ended up we’d do something good or something like that, something that could make a small difference or whatever and that is heartbreaking, then you know the next day all over again fast and furious and I imagine how exhausting that was for gus, it’s overwhelming and I Feel in my state of greif I can understand BUT from the point of view that I have a reason to feel these ways which is much easier than to have a seemingly perfect life, beautiful face, no visible problems and people think stop whining or whatever and you feel crazy as shit because nothing feels right but nothing is wrong except you. Thats not a good feeling. Thats the invisible wheel chair. I just wish I had done so many different things, and said so many different things, I started joining in on the upset because I Wasn’t going to do that this time, I was being hurt to so lots of fuck you’s and I love yous and its fucking nuts, its all nuts, and this was the last time... I had no idea what I was in for. I could have done better but I was too involved, and also blinded by optimism. you don’t know whats in someones head and I forgot while gus was honest, he also had a way of only discolosing certain info, I thought he didn’t do that with me but in reality I can see now he did, just like he picked and chose what to tell his therapist about me, so that my image was protected. Gus was odd in that way, to protect my image because of how he felt, and its not that he was protecting his image to me, but I know he did want us to work out and he was giving me his best sides, and I loved those sides, and to think I got all the good, and yet still by the day, maybe week, maybe once a month you name it we would have really confusing fights where he would insit on withdrawing and I should have let him, I should have understood it was TOO much like he said I mean I thought I felt it was too much too, but like then it comes down to the I dont want to live without you 

and he realizes he can’t live with me 

and he doesn’t want to keep hurting me or his mom, and he realizes he could actually really hurt either one of us when he’s not making any sense 

and its exhausting back and forth, one week feels like a fucking month, and I think his whole teen/adult life was like that, it was super condensed and super fast. He did travel, he did live in a commune for a period, dual citizenship, went through a good amount of personality growth and interests, and the last being one that I respect a lot, permaculture, and then the things that stayed the same with him like the inside jokes and the laughing, his clenliness and interest in some rap with the perfect lyrics and same taste in music, so loving, so embracing. 

I can’t read these and think its over, I still open the door to his room when I get home and I think Hey Gus I’m back!! and I want to tackle him and give him all the hugs and kisses. The thing is we never had that though, I mean I never came home here, this was never my home, always a place I felt welcome but I didn’t live here, and I didn’t come here like every day nor usually when I was done with school, there would be times wher eI’d come but he would greet me at the front door, so this coming into the room and him being there is a fantasy I’ve created, Its the one where I think god like why couldn’t this be how it was, why couldn’t we have been this ideal happy family.. why did you have to leave, and why did I go so hard on you, and I know it wasn’ my choice but I really I’m so stubborn I can’t get over it I can’t forgive myself, I can’t thin it couldn’t have been different because it could have, and it wasn’t and I was part of that circle. I failed in ways I wasn’t aware of but I still feel accountable. 

So now to complete my overwhelming day, 

to see the medium perform ! Gus I hope you come, Ive been talking outloud to him, it comforts me, I think now Im going to be crazy lady , the one that doesn’t talk to cats but talks to the deceased bf. 

Its a disaster. I can’t be the same. I feel so wrong, but also free in all my wrongness because I can say piss off, I’m still working on  my piss of people pleasing skills because it just happens, I get nervous, then adrenaline that allows me to perform instead of being myself, or how I Feel. instead I can only use words and when my expression doesn’t match people don’t take me seriously, how can I blame them ?

I just miss you, 

I have a bracelet from the women in my group, she said she thought of me, that means so much to me, it says “my story isn’t over yet” super cliche but the intention and the person behind it just makes me cry because we share the worst thing imaginable. Blessed. although I’m not sure how to ever wear it because its a set size metal bangle type which never fit my wrists. 

I feel pretty nuts when I write like this, but I’d rather be here than having real friends and feeling like im going to have a melt down. I can’t cry right now even after reading those texts, I don’t know how I feel. I’m confused and upset but its numbing today. 

I do think gus was Bipolar which was what he said the first time around, he had actually been diagnosed, but that fell through, which I partically wonder if that was my influence on him and unfortunately I think between me and drug counceling he was oppossed to understanding the benefit of medication/or even necessity, and also the benefits of being diagnosed so proper treatment can at least be attempted, even though, unfortunately, the books just don’t always work. Like the book of parenting, or relationships because  I Was all wrong, and I have to think from the side of being with someone mentally ill, while I knwo I can’t be treated like crap, most of the time gus wasn’t treating me poorly other than making me hurt by the break ups and while I knew sometimes it was him being withdrawn and worried about how I felt, or being paranoid and we’d be okay sometimes it wasn’t that easy and my emotions would also take over so I’d believe him entirely and I’d be very hurt because it would always be very sudden. if only wed gotten help sooner, but I think again this time he was actually doing everything by the “book” all at once, he was invested in his interests, he was working out, he had a routine, a loving girlfriend, he was sober, seeking help.. 

and then he looses his shit with me and we think okay moving therapy up 

then he looses his shit with his mom 

then he’s gone 

it doesn’t feel good when you’re doing all the “right” things, thats why I said he wasn’t patient, you expect results, tired of hurting people and tired of feeling hurt, overwhelmed and the fucking pyshcotic voices convincing you of things that make no sense and go against what is actually true, the ones that tell you we’d be better off without you. the ones that told you I was lying or only using you, or whatever

IT wasn’t fair for you or us, and this is the price for all of it. We’d do anything to have you back. I still would have rather been taken out first, but that isn’t what happened. I need your mom to have something from you, I have my dreams but she is sinking and needs to hear something, what is “real” doesn’t matter because to me, whats there is real, just like your delusions, they were real. 

[sophieoliviab-blog]

Wednesday Lecture - Mike Pratt & Q&A

Mike Pratt was born in 1987 in Seaham, North East England. He graduated from Northumbria University in 2009 where he was awarded the Paul Mason Sculpture Prize, in 2014 he completed a two-year postgraduate programme at De Ateliers in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Solo exhibitions include Deep Pond, Galerie Juliette Jongma, Amsterdam, Rubberhead/Rubbernecking B.M.W. Edinburgh, Good Mourning Bell Workplace Gateshead, Cumberland Sausage Extraspazio, Rome, and HUBBA HUBBA, Satellite, Newcastle.

lecture - Pratt talks about each painting he created, he suggests he uses expressionistic approaches such as splats and the strokes he makes on his large canvas’s. Mike said he Never left comfortable leaving the painting as it is like its missing something so he said he added text in his work which is shown on the paintings above. in his work he finds theres many problems and having it in his studio as an activity and taking it out of the studio to finish the piece makes it like two different worlds. 

After he graduated he did a show in Rome which he had alot of paintings in his studio which were unfinished and his intention was to always cover it with text and he wanted to push it further by sending out doodle paintings. Mike said he felt more like he let go and worked more freely instead of the system he created. During the lecture he commented he likes repitition and going back repeating himself and by doing this it gave him the freedom to work around. His work is mainly in a series about 4or 5 paintings on the go at once. He worked around the idea of taking one of the paintings and blowing it up in scale and screen printing it. Pratt reads books such as pop art and abstract which have influenced his work today. 

I absolutely loved Mike Pratt lecture I felt so inspired by his work and see the relations between both our artworks and how we work. Mike suggested how creating works on a bigger scale really pushed him out of his comfort zone and since on my second semester the work I have produced this term is so different from what I normally do but for the better. In the Q&A later he said just have fun with what you are doing and what is exactly what I am doing. I'm trying not to to think too much in it what I want to say or express but seeing the work produced everything links as a whole. I was worried about my work because a lot of tutors said its better to have a concept around the work your creating but some of my paintings just happened in the moment by repeating the same painting and adding or just simply the fact I'm enjoying what I'm doing and I was worried if that makes me less important or not doing my best I can but its exactly what mike said If your enjoying what your producing the work will speak for itself and link as a journey. 

Although what I didn't like about Mike Pratt work is some paintings where too busy and if he took a step back and had a moment he would find the painting looked finished before the text was added but thats just my opinion. I prefer work that doesn't involve text because its like knowing the story before you even attempt it. I like paintings that are unknown and a puzzle. I feel like he didn't really know when to stop and carried on until he couldn't do anymore over the text. 

Q&A

Do you have an idea in your head soon as you start painting or how do you actually start the idea?

“I would get a really big canvas and get a big sheet of paper and I just make a start and not worry what its about, just enjoy it and then I would get my canvas I just like canvas haha I just love priming canvas’.”

“sometimes ill have an idea like a sculptor of an ear and ill attempt it but a lot of the time Im along the way of the journey or get cut in half. so my best intentions rarley stay. 

Did you just come up with the ear just now or ?

“no I've done this before I did a painting of an ear and it changed for the sake of the exhibition.”

while I've been here at uni I've had quite a lot of pressure from my tutors and stuff to find a message or a meaning in my work and sometimes I struggle with that do you think art only has value if you say something and not what you make?

“ I felt the exactly the same thing while I was at uni then I remembered someone telling me the subject was just a red herring. It doesn't matter what its about as long as you get something from it and someone else does.”

I struggle with working on such a large scale and I never know when to stop. how do you know when to be like okay thats enough now?

“ill carry on with a painting until I think its great and by the next day I would of ruined it. its just a guess you have to take.”

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (30)

@novelty--night said: 

Can you recommend any angsty dick Grayson fanfic?

I don’t really read other people’s fanfiction, so I’m afraid the only ones I can give you are mine :/ 

Those are here: 1 2 3 4 5

You might ask Dawn for some others? I think she would know

Anonymous said: 

Hi! I absolutely love your work. Can you please say anything about Steph? Maybe interactions with the Dead Robin Society? Please? Thank you! Your blog is AMAZING!!!!

The Steph content is here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (hc)

1 2 3 (fic)

I’ll go ahead and save the ask for the next time I have Steph ideas :)

Anonymous said: 

I would very much like to join your ace crime-fighting squad, but I am rather tall and not good at concealing myself should hiding be necessary. What should I do?

Hm well we do have several non combat positions available in the organizational sector if that sort of thing interests you, but our standard training program includes a week of camouflage and concealment instruction, so I’m sure we can find some way to accommodate you.

I would also note that if you meet the (single) requirement for membership, you’re already largely invisible soooo

kpopfreaksgeneral submitted: 

Something good that has happened to me

So, short story before all this: i’m 20 years old with autism, and I’ve dropped out of highschool (or i think the danish equvilant to that) when i was about 16-17, because I struggled with keeping up with homework. I was thrown around in the system for years, not getting meds, not knowing what to do.

Last year, I was told about an educations program which is targetted at young people with autism. Basically, it’s made to be suited around how fast you learn, how many hours you can work a day and how you will function most optimally when working. It’s within a certain supermarket chain’s stores that I’ll be taught working in.

So far, it’s going great, I get to work, get taught in it, do something and I’ll have a secured work place afterwards, all over Denmark as long as it’s in one of the chain’s stores.

Also, I’m back on meds, not the some one’s as before, but I got my med’s back.

That’s really great!! I’m glad things are falling into place for you!

Anonymous said: 

something good, besides the obvious of seeing u on my dash: it was really nice and sunny today for the first time in a really long time and it was so warm i laid out in the sun with my roommates dog for a bit just to hang

Ooooh that sounds really relaxing

Anonymous said: 

I got full mark and a bonus for a subject I didn't study well for.. I'm grateful and I think I should study next time so I deserve it XD

Whoop for grades coming out better than expected :)

@shieldshawk said: 

I got kissed by a dog named Sirius Black. Because the people who come to my store are awesome nerds.

!!! Congrats on living the dream

Anonymous said: 

I was on a date that had gone sour this weekend, and I was ready to go back home and call it a loss. When! My friend called me and told me she got into a study abroad program and wanted me to come over and get drunk with her! We had a great time!!!

That sounds like fun! Sorry bout your date ://

@nightwing1536 said: I watched Gordon Ramsay make donuts on YouTube today so that was pretty good

nightwing1536 said: It's awesome whenever I get new glasses cause then oh shit things are clear again!!

nightwing1536 said: Finding Teen Titans and getting into DC Comics was a great thing for me

nightwing1536 said: Once I made myself hot chocolate when I was alone and it was really nice

nightwing1536 said: A lady I don't know very well asked how I was doing once because I was sleeping in my old teachers class room that she sometimes popped into and she was worried so that was a great reminder

nightwing1536 said: I got a pair of really nice dentist people when I had to get root canals! Only two. But they were so nice as my usual dentist guys are mean.

nightwing1536 said: I'm friends with the dentist root canal people now

nightwing1536 said: Eating corn is always a good thing that happens for me

nightwing1536 said: My teachers influenced made me know I'm more than what everyone else thought of me to be. Made me like art as one once said "...your art is really unique, don't ever give up on that." It was a girl with a mole smoking a cigarette. Terrible picture that I let him have but it means a lot to me

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher, the teach I hang with that's now my old teacher, tapped on my desk when I had him first time(known him before ish from club) and he said "If you wouldn't mind drawing me something so I could put it up on my wall? Your style is very unique and I like it." Not sure what my style was besides melting creatures and whatnot but it was nice, gave it to him at the end of the year and he says its nightmare fuel <3

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher told me I was good enough to be in her AP ceramics class, simply because of my dedication to it. I had never taken ceramics before and only ever made a few things in her club. She and I aren't very close this year but I wish we could have been. I'll write her a letter, it's what I did for all my teachers before.

nightwing1536 said: In 8th grade my science teacher said I had potential, I didn't care much at the time but he was a huge inspiration for me to live and continue. He was the first teacher I ever drew anything for, a pic of himself, I remember his head was too pointed in the picture.

nightwing1536 said: Finding you was a good thing too

That’s a lot of good stuff! Thank you <3

@silly-fuzzy-babies replied

Bill Potts on Doctor Who saved my entire life

Oh man I need to catch up then!

@cannibalfood replied

Im almost done college, just have exams left then i graduate, my gpa so far is 3.7, not great, but I'm studying hard for exams

Listen I think most people would agree that 3.7 is a reaaaaally good GPA. Congratulations!

@therealstephaniebrown replied

Well! I'm going in on May 4th to get a new tattoo! A really beautiful thigh piece. I also got in to see a doctor and am starting to take better care of my mental illnesses. Three medications so far to help balance things. Oh, and my boyfriend is flying out to Cali with me to meet my family so he can finally propose to me cx I hope you're okay <3

WHOA CONGRATS!! I’m doing okay now. I wasn’t so much last night, but I’ll be fine

@freres-toujours replied

I got the new Mass Effect game when it came out and I've been slowly working my way through it. I finished off a planet today, and this one was particularly satisfying.

I’m glad you’re having fun :)

@another-nameless-person said

I’m gender neutral and was really scared when I found out I was pregnant(months ago) that my family would treat my gender identity badly but…. They’re surprisingly concerned if they are being rude in any way? My mom even offered to buy me a binder for after I have my baby? Also, they’re all excited for my baby to grow up having someone as open about gender, sexuality and equality raise them? Which is a HUUUGE step for my family. So that’s really something that is really good until next month and I finally get to see my daughter :D

HOLY SHIT YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! CONGRATS!

@entrthematrix replied

I have been really sick these past two weeks and have not able to stomach any food so I've been on a liquid only diet. But, I had my first bit of real food for the first time yesterday and wasn't sick after, it is a real sign that I am getting better now.

Oh man I’m glad you’re getting better! That sounds terrible

@thelittlechibi replied

We recently released one of our birds into the wild, but he keeps hanging around the house, and last night he landed on my lap out of the blue. Ruined it by having a go at my face and leaving a scratch over my eye, but it's nice to know he's still safe and chill with us.

Whoaaaa that’s super interesting

@pallet-45 replied

I met you!! Ahaha wow that was lame

Aw thanks Danny <3

@minami-the-door-lord:

I saw a stray cat. It let me pet it.

Yoooo that sounds great I would love to pet a cat today

@richardgrays0n replied

One of my best friends just had a baby! And I got to meet him and hold him. He's adorable and so tiny. So very tiny. I love him already and I'm super proud to be his honorary aunt.

!!!!!!! Y’all I love babies so much

Thanks, guys! Y’all are really kind and helpful, and I super appreciate it <3

[werewolfcolumnist]

@miliege

an open note to a bottom feeder

i feel the first point i should bring up is the fact that you are in possesion of a 'drama' blog, which, i could only assume from your past accusations and actions, is due to the fact that you are the personification of a ill-infested mosquito that thirsts for a warped idea of 'justice.' you desperately patrol and essentially stalk a certain individual because you have a personal vendetta and the only way to satiate such bloodlust is to patrol and conduct tumblr-esque 'police brutality,' in order to quench your unjustified contempt. 

so lets dive into your latest pink slip post and analyze the claims that were made against Casper. you start off by stating, "welcome back to my drama blog casper. hows it feel to be a freak?" which is already problematic to begin with, because for one, a personal attack such as that essentially discredits any "neutrality" that you may have, which ultimately reduces the validity of your so-called arguement, and two, because name-calling someone who states they need a coping blog to begin with is basically dismissing the fact that they likely have a mental illness, which is pretty abhorrent. you then go on to state the list of subjects that are contained within Casper's blog and provide examples. for one example, based on the character ren hana, you state, "according to his wiki page hes 19 in the first game and 21 in the second. to me he looks nothing like a 19 or 21 year old. he looks more like a 15 year old." this garbage example is essentially invalid, as you throw in the factual evidence that the character canonically does not fit the criteria of being an underage character, yet you throw in your useless commentary of the character, "looking" underage in order to skew your flimsy arguement, ultimately invalidating this entire point on the specified character. you also state, "this is so fucking funny. not only reblogging dream daddy but DREAM DADDY GORE. thats so fucking funny to me," when talking about...dream daddy gore? which is only a point made on your elementary level detention slip of a call-out post because of your personal dislike of it, and not due to any other criteria. you may argue that its morally wrong due to the nature of the posts, however, that is YOUR sole idea of morality, which isnt the status quo. if it disturbs you, then do not engage in viewing such content. subjects that fall in this category will not cease to exist, and you only exacerbate the problem by blowing it out of proportion because it "rubs you the wrong way." you then go off to list lolicon that is apparently indicated as lolicon due to the fact that the character depicted in the work of art is wearing a school uniform, and that they are engaged in the act of gore. this is also, unsurprisingly, invalid, mainly because lolicon is defined as "fascination with cartoons of very young-looking girls engaged in varying degrees of erotic behavior." none of the evidence you provided showcased an illustration of a young child engaging in lewd and sexual acts. rather, they were showcased in situations which involved subcategories of 'pastel gore,' and mild gore, which was not coupled with ANY sexual acts. therefore, none of the evidence is actual 'lolicon.' you may percieve it as such because of your perception of what is right or wrong, however, your overall perception is not at all relevant when the act you state is present isnt truly present. you only state it as such because it 'freaks you out.' the case of your own personal and moral beliefs comes into play again when you make a point about reblogging irl blood, stating, "reblogging irl blood is very weird and off to me because some of the time theyre actual crime scenes where people have died and me and various others find it disrespectful to reblog content like this." which, first of all, warrants questioning due to the fact that it is only an assumption that these are taken from crime scenes. no evidence is provided that the specific images are pulled from them. even then, there isnt anything inherently wrong with reblogging the images (besides from your own personal moral standings). the images are merely images that depict a certain scene, they simply do not promote any disrespect or malice of anyone or anything. just because the nature of a subject is "freaky," doesn't automatically mean its seeking out to promote violence/etc. also on the subject of the cannibalistic textposts, you already said it yourself: "once again not really important i guess..." its not, thanks for making this specific point more concise for me. 

ok so the screenshots. you state, "at first he tried to act like he didnt know he had reblogged loli and rape and all that other nasty ass shit to his blog." which is actually contradictory to the actual screenshots, since Casper states he "genuinely had no idea," which, yes, is actually true. based on your warped perception, you may percieve his words as false. however, by twisting the actual situation in alignment to your obvious bias and underlying hatred towards Casper, you thrust a false narrative towards readers of your malignant 'detention slip,' and thereby create a mob mentality via the use of aggressive slander. Casper's genuine emotion is clearly seen with his tone and actions, taking steps to delete problematic posts without issue and apologizing. however, you go on to state, "he said reblogging that kind of stuff was for 'coping'. thats a really unhealthy way to cope by the way casper." this is severely problematic, as it not only undermines possibly the only way an individual could cope with mental illness (which, "reblogging" content of such a nature is purely vanilla to begin with), but it also insults and demeans an individual who is clearly struggling mentally, which you 'cleverly' try to justify by pure slander and loose arguements. as the last course of this letter, i'll make one last point. you state, "he claims a lot of it was 'old' but in reality the oldest post was from 2 months ago which isnt really that old." this exact phrase unwinds your entire arguement. in the beginning of your keemstar-esque callout bonanza, you provide evidence that, "as of today (7/18/18) casper currently lists himself as an adult on his blog with his hover saying ‘im currently 18′. proof of this." however, as of 7/1/18, Casper only just became an adult (http://tanakas.co.vu/post/175430436650/me-today-is-my-birthday-and-i-wanna-love-my) therefore, by stating that his oldest post was 2 months ago, you're basically stating, "this is pedophilia, even though casper was also a minor during the surfacing of these posts." (even though the posts you refer to aren't pedophilia. not a single young character is sexually being taken advantage of in any evidence). 

to end this open letter, i'll say this: go fuck yourself. you attempt to be a self-proclaimed cruisader when in reality you enforce severe brutality, and attempt to skew the perception of others by outlandish and downright false claims. i would not be at all surprised if you held extreme insecurity, and project it onto Casper in order to make your pitiful self feel better. that's the case for essentially all bullies, anyway. and you fit right into the cookie cutter of what a bully is. 

also, anyone who mindlessly read and followed what this dumpster fire of a callout stated, and flip-flopped on Casper, fuck you too. you're just as bad. 

original: http://web.archive.org/web/20180719200027/http://web.archive.org/web/20180719200027/https://miliege.tumblr.com/post/176040089851/callout-for-twiliightzones

-🐝

[goodgodno]

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? - not telling, and no 2. are you artistic? -i guess 3. Have you had your first kiss? -Ofc not im aidan fucking casey (anyone hmu im lonely) 4. What is your life goal? -to influence people 5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person? -i once tweeted at casey neistat and he didnt respond 6. Do you play any sports? -not any more 7. What’s your worst fear? -failure 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? -probably casey neistat 9. Do you have any cool talents? -i can freak people out by looking at them 10. are you a morning person? -yeah if im not woken up early 11. How do you feel about pet names? -the closest i get to that is calling someone B 12. Do you like to read? -yeah but i dont read as much as id like to 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.- does casey neistats vlog count? (Ill shut up with the casey neistat) 14. Do you care about your follower count?- i do on my rinsta, but it bothers me that people feel validated based off of numbers like that (likes etc) 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? -i dont remember my dreams- the weirdest dream i had was that everyone i knew was trans 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? -by accident once (does that count?) 17. Do you have any pets?- I have a kitten named Rocket and a full grown cat named Oreo (who is dying of multiple cases of cancer) 18. Are you religious? - Im pretty agnostic, and the catholic church disgusts me 19. Are you a people person?- definitely 20. Are you considered popular?- i try not to think in terms like that, but i guess i have a lot of friends? 21. What is one of your bad habits?- procrastination 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?- depression 23. What would you name your children? - ill name one of em’ Casey to fuck with them 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? - Emma Watson? 25. What’s your best subject?- Best- French, Favorite- Art 26. Dogs or cats? Doggos 27. most used social media besides tumblr?- Snapchat/INstagram 28. best friends name? I dont categorize people as best friends, but matt and sara are my oldest friends 29. who does your main family consist of? mostly my grandmother and grandfather tbh 30. Chocolate or sugar? SUGAR 31. have you ever been on a date? no 32. Do you like roller coasters? n0 33. Can you swim? n.O 34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse? hide in a school with a weapon 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? self-diagnosed depression? (dont worry i too am rolling my eyes) 36. Are your parents together? barely 37. What’s your favorite color? anything 38. What country are you from/do you live in? ‘MURCA (fuck yeah) 39. Favorite singer? whatever’s on 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? i wish 41. Do you like dresses? no 42. Favorite song right now? All Night- Parov Stelar 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? im fine with it ironically, or as a joke, but if people are talking about it literallt shit gets weird 44. How old were you when you first got your period? did you just assume my gender? 45. Have you ever shot a gun? yep 46. Have you ever done yoga? nope 47. Are you a horror girl? did you just assume my gender? 48. Are you good at giving advice? i like to think that I am, but like i dont take my own advice 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. no fuck off 50. How are you doing today? meh 51. Were you a cute kid? i was thicc af 52. Can you dance? when nobody is looking im good 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? twirling pens 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? yea and im still recoiling from all of the people that called me a fag 55. What color are your eyes? BLUE 56. What’s your favorite animal? squirrels? 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? hell yeah man i do it like 3x a day 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really 59. Do you have good friends? most of them are 8/8 m8 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? sure 61. What’s your favorite class? Studio Art? I put the most effort into it, and its where i get my lowest grades 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. not watching any atm 63. Are you organized? I try to be but i evenually get lazy and shit collapses 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? Inside Out- I’m still super sh00k 65. Which tv character do you relate to most?- bob ross i guess i dont watch that much tv 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?- reality 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?- I’d like to think I’d do something super cool and revolutionary but to be real id probably buy a lot of expensive shit and never do anything 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? I’d be a little less afraid of failure, because I’d have more chances 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? I’d dye my hair and shit 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?- a lot of shit that I wont write here 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?- depends on the law/ who 74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?- I went to The Grand Canyon last summer 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?- I think of my grandmother’s house 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?- I’m stuck in thsi existential gridlock where i know what i want to be but i dont know what to do next 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?- happy 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?- most of the safety and stability of everything around me 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?- no idea; i push that shit out of my head 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.- highschool, then college. 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?- I wouldnt sleep, and that would be pretty shit 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?- trying to kill myself (I dont want to live forever) 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? on myself 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? past, but id want to go back 85. What motivates you to succeed?- nothing, and thats my problem 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? idk yet 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? City- i need to be around lots of people 88. Do you believe in life after death? No 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? So far, i guess Andrea Lee 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? Gramma R’s house 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? My grampa dave, he seemed like a cool guy 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? Idk 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? Idk 94. What do you think happens after we die? We get buried/cremated 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? Walk around naked 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? Avoid awkwardness 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? Yeah i guess 98. How did your first crush develop? We were friends for a while and i guess it just evolved from there 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? Idk man 100. Do you live or do you just exist? You live