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#im also not so excited about this date. but im just like this so I try to give people a chance
wonustars · 3 days
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In Front of Me (Teaser)
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⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriend to lovers, angst, smut (18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: TBA (this teaser: 679) ⊹ release date: TBA
⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time. ⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, bestfriends to lovers (?), unrequted love, emotionaly stunted charcters, wonwoo has a bit of an ego, toxic!wonwoo&reader. (more tags and smut tag added to full fic when posted.) ⊹ note: im really excited to share this with you all. its not by any means done but heres a teaser for now since ive been away for so long ♡ also the teaser is not edited so pls just ignore if theres typos hehe. lov u all pls come into my ask box cuz i refuse to shut up abt this story :p.
⊹ masterlist, taglist, fic playlist.
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Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo.
Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the break up, to lose feelings first, every decision was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling. 
Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up to your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been. 
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his bestfriend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it. 
{໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১  ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆˙}
Less than fourty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence is perfectly normal, then maybe, you would eventually end up answering him. 
12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?
Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them? 
1:27 p.m.  [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁
Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond. 
2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.  [1 photo attachment] 
Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.
4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today? 
The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he had witnessed. 
4:30 p.m.  [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw. 
Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin of all people solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back. 
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he can keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.
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⊹ a/n: if u want to be apart of the taglist please fill out the form, comment or send an ask! please note that i'll only add those who have an age indicator somewhere in their blog! thank you ♡
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sokkszn · 3 days
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you know, he won’t
anton x fem!reader
warnings: (his name is mentioned once so you can very much imagine anyone else in his position) angst angst angsttttttt, mention of period, cussing, questioning his sexuality and damn its just angst guys. fluff if u squint and face away from ur screen👍(proofread but take it w a grain of salt its 5.20am rn)
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your relationship with anton was complicated. it seems crazy to say that because you were dating him —have been for years. you knew you loved him, or else you wouldn’t have stayed all those years. it was just how he treats you.
he didn’t treat you badly, you dont think he was even capable of doing so, he was just… so, absent minded? inattentive rather. he just never paid attention. of course theres the cute things that he does like, buying you a fresh bouquet of flowers every weekend, or buying you snacks when you’re on your period. but it was never your favourites, it was never fresh smelling hyacinth, the only flower you found yourself obsessing over, or your favourite bitter-tasting dark chocolate. you remember listing these early on into dating, thinking he would’ve atleast noted it down, but, nothing.
it was all trivial at the end of the day, you know he loves you… he just has an odd way of showing it, you guess. his love was never accommodated to you, he loved you the way he wanted to, there’s nothing wrong with that, you think, but you just wish you could be loved the way you wanted, you wish you could morph him into your perfect man. which sucks, because you knew he was good for you, you knew you loved him, you just wished he was better.
you tried to accept him for what he truly is —distant. but sometimes it hurts? not being able to receive what you want from this relationship knowing he receives what he wants. you know he loves you but why won’t he show it? properly.
you want to hold him in the night, you want to caress his hair to relieve his stress, you want to jump up and down excited with him, you want to love him, but you just, can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling resentment, without feeling like you’re the problem, and sometimes you are, you can admit that, but this.. this is different, its not a fight, its not a disagreement nor is it an argument. you just don’t feel loved, the way you want at least. this makes you feel selfish, but he’s the one being loved, not you. you know that he knows you feel like this, but he won’t do anything about it. you know he loves you, but he wont show it.
he makes you feel disgusting, like you’re unlovable —or rather unworthy of love. but you know he loves you.
it hurts, honestly, it really fucking hurts. you see how he acts with his friends, how he’s comfortable with initiating skinship with them, how he gets excited around them, how he remembers little things about them. honestly? sometimes you think he’s gay.
maybe this is all out of jealousy, but you’re his girlfriend, he just doesn’t fucking act like it.
for some reason, even though you know it’s not your fault, you cant help but feel guilty and tear up at these thoughts, he’s your boyfriend, you’re meant to love him wholeheartedly. and you did, but thats exactly the problem, you did.
maybe, you truly just loved him.
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a/n: guys i’ve never been in a relationship i have no clue where this angst came from 👍 also im ngl the whole time writing this i felt like i was in that one sad video, daddy is the sweetest in the world, daddy wants me to be the best, i love my daddy, but…. but he lies 😭😭😭 guys did i eat w the fic name yes or naurrrrrr 🫦
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heeseungismymanz · 2 days
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𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎
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Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.
Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n brother), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..
°•More under cut•°
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Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader
Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs
BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED
Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! (this specific chapter might be cringe)
SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!
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𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎
Thinking about it you realized you met him at Yunah's party. That was the day you met the Lee Siblings! Also when he met you and asked "I like you can i have your number?" Remembering that you decided to relive that moment and started replaying the memories.
You were at Yunah's house and she asked you to grab somethign from her room. You didnt know that the room on the right was hers and you went to the left. Oh boy did you know what was happening in there. You walked in to the room on the left and walked in to see some random group of hot dudes all playing League Of Legends. You did NOT expect that. "Oh sorry, but what are you doing in Yunah's room?" You asked the group of boys. Wow you were stupid. "Uh this is my room.." You tilt your head as you look at the boy who said that. His room? Who is he? "Uh who are you?". Are you dumb though? "Wow thats a new one. I guess ill introduce myself. Im Lee Heeseung." Holy shit bro. You never seen him but heard about him. Your in THE LEE HEESEUNGS room. "Oh sorry-" you tried saying before getting cut off. "Its fine your Yoon Y/N right?" Heeseung said. How did he know? "Oh yeah." You say shrugging. "Oh your Keeho's brother right? Your the most popular girl" Someone else shouts. "Oh uhm yeah!" you say trying to leave the room but they keep talking to you. "Im Jake." Oh so the one who said your keehos brother is Jake. "Dont be friends with him! Hes a loser and a bop. Im Riki." oh, so this is a competition about friends. "Yah! Dont say that Riki, your making yourself a loser! By the way im Sunoo :)" wow. so your gonna assume the other 3 are Sunghoon, Jay, and Jungwon. How do you know this? Yunah told you about them, plus you've seen them. "Oh well ima go bye!" You said while looking at Heeseung. He was smiling and you might have smiled back. You walk into Yunah's room and grab her hat like she asked. "Im back!" you yell walking down.
"What took you so long Yn?" Yunah asked you. "I got a little distracted" Wait when did he ask you out? That night lasted FOREVER. Oh yeah when you went to grab a jelly shot he and his friend group was there. You tried grabbing the jelly shots from the cabinet (why were they there?) but failed. You were lowkey embarrassed. "Here i got you." Someone says pressing his body against your while reaching to get it. You turn around "Oh thanks hee-" you got cut off AGAIN. "Your welcome princess. By the way your really pretty!" Heeseung says while smiling at you. "Oh thanks" You say and all you can hear from behind was "OOOH~!" bro- anyway. "I like you can i have your number?" What do you say? A really hot,tall,pretty guy just asked YOU for YOUR number. "Yeah sure!" You say and dial your number into his phone. "Thanks" He says then you walk away. You go back to Yunah,Karina,And Wonyoung. "Heeseung just gave me his number now what do i do?" You looked annnoyed but was not. "GIRL ARE YOU NOT EXCITED?! YOU GOT LEE HEESEUNGS NUMBER!" thats all you remembered so then you went to the next party and then the next hoping to see him until one day
You were at Jake's party and they were bumping loud music and you were lowkey over-stimulated. The people everywhere you went were loud and someone noticed it and pulled you to the side. "Hey you okay? You dont look so good" It was Heeseung. "Oh yeah just over-stimulated." you reply. "Yeah, Sometimes it gets too loud."
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< Previous - Masterlist - Next >
AN: Did i just leave yall like that. YES. It was short cause i lowkey feel sick and literally am throwing up. But i hope you enjoyed this so far. We are halfway through this FF woooo!
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roxiestranger19 · 2 days
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OBX 4 PREDICTIONS
hello only probably like 2 people are gonna see this but I gotta get these thoughts out of my head. My predictions for OBX4!!! (this is mainly gonna be about JJ and Jiara because they’re my favorite)
JJ focused season finally! He’s been my favorite character from day 1 and i’m so glad that there’s hopefully gonna be more of him this season. It looks promising from the trailer but who knows.
JJ AND KIARA!!! Yall im so excited for them to finally be together. All im asking for is one kiss in good lighting and it looks like we’ll get it.
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This scene specifically has me screaming and kicking my feet already.
On the topic of jiara i think the writers are gonna make them go through everything in the book. Between Kies parents to JJs dad potentially coming back to jjs impulsivity in general.
3) This leads me to my next point on how i think the season is gonna go in terms of Jiara. In the first couple episodes i think we’re gonna rewind to the 18 month time jump and finally see them together and see them doing all the normal couple shit and it’s gonna be beautiful and wonderful. Hopefully we’ll see how they support each other through their parent drama, mainly kies.
Then I think they’re going to either get in a fight or break up whenever JJ starts being really impulsive with the money like we saw in the trailer. I also think this is where Luke’s gonna come in if he does make an appearance. I think Luke is gonna guilt JJ into giving him money and JJs gonna come to some agreement with him. JJs either gonna not tell kie about it and it’s gonna cause a blowup when she inevitably does find out or she’s gonna know from the beginning and advise JJ not to help Luke but he does it anyway. This is gonna go back to the self sabotaging topics from season 3 and how JJ just can’t realize that his dad is a piece of shit and Kies gonna give him the ultimatum of either her or his dad which he’s then not gonna be able to choose.
If Luke isn’t the reason for a Jiara fight then I believe it will be because of his impulsivity with his life and the money. We saw in season 3 that JJ is willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the group and that’s where the dirt bike racing is gonna come in along with gambling and betting the money. (Bonus points if someone tells him “you’re just like your dad”) This is the point that I feel has the strongest amount of evidence because in the teaser we saw the races and JJ and John Bs conversation on how they have everything to lose now. We also know from the trailer that JJ spent the last of their money so he feels the need to earn it all back himself in the fastest way possible which would be betting on winning the race. Also if Rafe is his competition this is more reason for him to bet everything on the race. I’m gonna guess he does not win the race which is then why they agreed to take on the black beard case.
This then brings us up to date after the 18 month time jump to the ceremony and my previous reasons for Jiara fighting would check out with why JJ and Kie were being so awkward at the ceremony.
Anyways JJ is gonna kinda take the lead with the case because again, he feels like he owes it to the rest of the group since he spent the last of their money and/or gambled it away. He also might think that this could win kiara back although that most likely won’t be the case since all kie wants is for JJ to realize that he matters and she loves him no matter what he has or doesn’t have.
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I think that this scene is gonna be Kie explaining these things to JJ. Also as much as i want this scene to be full Jiara lovey dovey steamy shit, i don’t think that will be the case. I actually would be just as happy if this was a “there was only one bed” trope because the rest of the pogues are coupled off and who knows maybe this will lead to a kiss or cute cuddling moment, either way i’ll be happy.
I think that the rest of the season will be filled with angst and tension from JJ and Kie because they clearly are obsessed with each other and can’t just turn off their feelings. I think this will be way more interesting than if they stayed coupled up all season because their whole relationship is fiery banter and let’s face it, John B and Sarah’s relationship is boring compared to Jiara because there’s no drama or fire. Also think about all the protective JJ moments we can get from this especially the scuba scene?! Or when it comes to Rafe. We saw in the teaser that JJ punches Rafe with Kiara in the background. Plus with them “supposed” to be broken up or fighting, but unable to stay away from each other both internally and externally bc everyone else in the group is paired together, we’re gonna get a bit of “forbidden romance” and longing looks and jealousy and tension galore which is gonna make every scene with them together electric. I have no idea how their relationship is gonna end up at the end of the season but i hope they’ll be back at where they were at the beginning during the time jump.
4) In terms of the ending and the other bits and pieces i honestly have no idea where it’s gonna end. I want to say they win and solve the blackbeard case but they have a pretty bad track record with that. Also depending on how many more seasons the show has left is a big component in this. I don’t think the show could go past a fifth season. Also don’t know where the scenes with JJ breaking windows and destroying things fits in. It appears to be in the OBX but who knows.Living for those moments though. this is probably another reason why Jiara breaks up. Could have to do with Rage and Topper or his dad but i have no idea. Maybe Barry is coming for him because JJ did steal from him and Barry used to sell to Luke.
5) Rafe and Topper
don’t have a single clue how they’re gonna fit into this after the 18month time jump. We only really saw them in the OBX or at the bike race. I guess there’s potential for them wanting to get in on the blackbeard case but i don’t really see it tbh. I’m guessing they’re gonna have a separate plot from the pogues or it’s just gonna be slightly related through sarah or something.
6) THE BOMB Here are my different guesses for what this could mean.
JJ dies. this seems to be what everyone thinks but i really don’t see this happening. i don’t think Rudy hates OBX as much as everyone thinks he does i think he just gets caught at the wrong times and everyone reads into it. If they do write him off though i will never forgive them it literally wouldn’t make sense it would destroy me. and it better be a damn good death and be actually really sole crushing and good writing. giving jj a good death would be the least they can do if they choose to go this.
JJ and Kie break up. As i said before i actually think this would make sense for them but i do think it would come to a shock to many people hence them saying that a “bomb is gonna drop on them”
Luke comes back. Again like i said this is pretty likely especially since there’s a leaked picture with luke and JJ in it. In terms of it having huge effects on Jiara, this depends on JJs decisions.
JJs mom. Maybe he suddenly figures out a way to find her or something else i literally have no idea
Rafe and Kiara. Can’t see kiara cheating on JJ. Maybe we finally get to see what happened during kies kook year. Don’t see how that would affect Jiara now though.
Kies parents. Might’ve had more of an impact on their relationship during the 18months but i can’t imagine that’s the reason for something blowing up between them after that since they don’t care about their opinion
time for my really crazy theories
pregnancy. kie getting pregnant would be a bomb. don’t imagine the writers doing this because it’s just not that type of show but it would make things interesting. especially if she finds out while they’re broken up or fighting, it would add a lot more tension and jj would be a lot more protective of her.
Luke and Anna. in season 2 luke mentions something about knowing anna. Always thought that was an interesting point. Maybe they had something going on in high school and when JJ and Kie figure that out if kinda deters them and makes them question a lot. idk these are crazy.
jj and sarah share a mom. always liked this theory. think it has possibility but very unlikely. don’t think this would relate to the plot very much or impact Jiara.
anyways that is all. If you read all the way through this i appreciate you.
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heaven-s-black-box · 3 days
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Notes- TCG Master S/O Cyno & more
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Recovery date: September 24th, 2024
Description: im sorry i js got a massive brainwave ;-; expect a bunch of requests soon ;) so a reader whos a total menace in tcg with cyno, tighnari, lyney, xiao and any others u want!
-⭐️ anon
Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with researcher ⭐️, we thank them for their contributions. The implications of the genshin characters having cards made of themselves in their world makes my head hurt.
Back to directory
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Cyno
Couldn’t be happier
You are just as invested as him, and you give him a real challenge
You two try and play together once a day
It was a bedtime tradition, but you both got too excited and couldn’t sleep after
So now you’ll either play at breakfast or over lunch
You’re definitely jealous of that limited card Kaveh gave him and the backing Albedo/Calx made him
Tighnari
Oh god there’s two of you
Okay, but he actually starts paying attention when Cyno talks about TCG so he can keep up with you
You also teach him and Collei more about TCG
When the academia releases a set with some influential figures in Sumeru, you build your team around his card
Creates himself a unique deck based on the mushrooms in Avydia forest to challenge you
He beat you with it once, then you obliterated him the next time, so now he’s making a new one
Lyney
It becomes bonding time between you and the children of the house
He’s ecstatic
Also incorporates TCG cards into his magic act, like making the monster on the card appear
Once he made a Lynette card for her entrance and next thing he knew he was in your deck
Oh well, he thinks it’s sweet
Plays with you on occasion, it takes his mind off of his stress
You actually teach him how to play in the first place so he can play with his siblings in the house
Xiao
Doesn’t get it
Like, he gets its a strategy game, but why is he on one of the cards
Stands over you one day while you’re sorting your deck, so you offer to teach him
He’s actually pretty good since it’s a strategy game
You get a bit annoyed when the “beginners luck” wears off and he’s still beating you
The first time you beat him you look so happy, he almost considers letting you win more often
But then you beat him again without him going easy on you and he decides that would be no fun
Guess he just needs to fix his deck
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deoidesign · 2 months
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
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It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
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miutonium · 8 months
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The weird nerd in a labcoat that you talk to every week at the diner appears in front of your door with a rose in his hand wwyd?
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petricorah · 7 months
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wild-moss-art · 8 months
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I’ve been dating and I try not to dress my absolute best for meetups bc I don’t like to be held to that standard but it’s so difficult bc I slay too hard in everything I wear 😔
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monachopism · 4 months
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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sonknuxadow · 1 year
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overall i think movie sonic being redesigned was a good decision but sometimes i wish they had never done it with how annoying people are about it with the constant spread of misinformation about how/why it happened + this attitude people have gotten from it thinking they can get anything they don't like in a movie or show or game changed if they complain on twitter enough regardless of what exactly they're wanting changed or how close the release date is or what company is making it or whatever
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kuromi-hoemie · 9 months
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im a top leaning switch but being an angelic sweet sweet pisces has me fighting the bottom allegations and losing
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learn-and-accept · 1 month
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The woman who is basically a second mom to my girlfriend doesn't think I'm real and it's absolutely fucking hysterical oh my god
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sleevebuscemii · 4 months
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infizero · 5 months
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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning
#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going#to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood#im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated#but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy#and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next#mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same#it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new#pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story#i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point#i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first#experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about#thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before#i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself#i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol#my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i#got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was#literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it#pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons#mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers#over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos#were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times#but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one#where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt#soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my#most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious#anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i#actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well#and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes#serena.txt
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vilelittlecritter · 2 years
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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"
People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"
Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"
#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse#like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont#ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean#i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly#oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well#the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that#oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour#as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little#so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone#which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one#also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse#i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy#its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking#yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much#im also just really snappy sometimes#I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine#they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them#i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents#they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them#sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone#i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it#sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay#I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor#again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon#if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed#personal rambles#vent tag
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