#im going to be a dick and leave this on a cliffhanger

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.

ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.

reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.

a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.

so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍

HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕

Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.

Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)

A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.

You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.

They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.

You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.

When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.

“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.

“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”

She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”

“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”

“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”

Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.

“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”

“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”

“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.

Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.

Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.

After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.

“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”

“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”

“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”

You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.

“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.

“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”

He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.

“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”

“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”

“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”

“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”

“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”

“I’d like that.”

Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.

Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.

“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”

“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.

“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.

“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.

“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”

“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.

“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.

Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.

“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.

“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.

“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”

“Sure!”

Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.

“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.

“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”

He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.

He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.

“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.

“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.

“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.

“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”

He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”

“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.

He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.

He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.

“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.

He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.

That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”

“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.

“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.

“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”

“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.

Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.

“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.

“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”

“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.

It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.

“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.

Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.

He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.

“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.

It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.

“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.

You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.

He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.

He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.

You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”

He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”

“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”

“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.

“I won’t.”

You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.

“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.

“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”

Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.

“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.

“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.

When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.

‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’

[xxangelfarrlzxx]

I was bored when i wrote this but this is also inspired by my other friend named Xavier who gave me this recommendation :) (ily btw/p)

THIS IS BxB. I will re-write this as BxG, BxN. If you are a fem, its okay, you can read this as a G!P if you don’t mind/ignore the “he/him” pronouns on y/n 😭 enjoy!

WARNING(s): smut, bdsm, bj, just my writing in general 😭💀

“Ugh…” I groaned. I was INSANELY bored out of my mind, but also depressed because I was reading one of my fav books but it ended at a cliffhanger. I was very upset about it until I heard a knock at my door, leaving me forgetting my own thoughts.

I get out of my bed and walk over to my door, seeing Damiano standing at my door, holding a bag and an un-protected/un-wrapped box. “Hey Dam..what’s that?” I asked him, looking at the bag and the box. “I got this for you, handsome.” He replied back to me in a flirtatious manner. “Oh..okay.” I say blandly. “What’s the matter baby? You look and sound annoyed and upset about something.” He said softly, lifting up my chin with his thumb. “I was reading a book and it didn’t end how I’d expected to be. It was left at a cliffhanger.” I told him, backing up a little so he can enter my room. He sat down on my bed comfortably and I sat down next to him. “Ah, okay. Mind telling me what it was about, bambino?” I blushed a bit when he started speaking little Italian. “Well it was a steamy book.” I reply to him. “Steamy? You mean Sesso?” He replied back. “Um..yes.” I answered him. “Hmm..why don’t I make it a reality to make you feel better?” I get flustered at the sudden remark. “Alright..maybe that’ll take my mind off of it, I suppose.” I say.

-TIMESKIP CUZ IM LAZY AF AND FORGOT ALL ABOUT WRITING THIS SHIT..LIKE SERIOUSLY I LEFT THIS SHIT IN MY DRAFTS FOR FUCKING MONTHS 😭😭😭 AND I ACCIDENTALLY SWITCHED POVS SO THAT WAS 1ST PERSON AND THIS IS 3RD PERSON-

“D-DADDY!~” You moaned out loudly. Damiano currently had you bent over on your bed, fucking and pounding the life out of you. You couldn’t help but to moan every pump. Your ass was red as hell from the belt spankings, your hands were tied in a pretty pastel ribbon, you’re legs were tied with a rope, and you both were sweaty as hell. Dami was still pounding you, having your thoughts go wild. “You like how Daddy feels inside of you, hm?”. You nodded, as all your abnormal moaning, you couldn’t barley even speak other than screaming, crying, begging, and pleading out for your life. You we’re almost sure the neighbors could hear you guys. “More, yeah?” He teasingly asked you. “Y-Yes!~” You muffled a little bit into the pillow. He went deeper and harder inside of, causing louder moans coming from you. Dami was moaning as well, but not as loud as we you were. He grinned, seeing the sight of his handsome prince in front of him bent over. “Who do you belong to, baby boy?~” He purred out. “You, Dadd-Y-AAHHH~” You cried out. He had whipped you again. “Not loud enough, pretty boy. Again.” He asked you slyly and in his whore voice. “Y-YOU DADDY~” You nearly screamed out. He smiled before you started to speak. “I-I feel it…” you moaned out. “Hm? Fel what~” He teasingly asked. You knew not to try to play games with him, as you were in desperate need to cum. “I..I need to cum..” “Need?” He asked you once more before whipping you again. “I want to cum please, daddy!~” You replied to him. You couldn’t bare it anymore. He’s been edging you for…about a good 30 minutes, but allowed himself to cum a few times. “Hmm…fine, sweet boy~” He moved faster and deeper into you. You screamed out once you finally got to cum. You already knew what was next, but realized you couldn’t move. “Awh, poor boy can’t get up and move? Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.” He pulled himself out before gently moving your body, your head facing him and his now wet dick. You looked up at him with just your eyes but before opening your shaky mouth so he could dick your throat down. You gave him his desired bj as he moaned out. He almost moaned as loud as you before he started thrusting against you. Thankfully, because of him, you didn’t have any sorta gag reflex. “Good boy, taking and handling like a pro.” You smile against his dick before going faster. You heard him moan out before letting some of his cum shoot inside your mouth. You swallowed it nonetheless and carried on. A few minutes pass before his moan become more whoreish. Before you could realize what was about to happen, he came inside your mouth more harder this time, and you swallowed it up almost instantly. You backed away a little bit while you both were breathing heavy.

He untied you on both the legs and hands and gave you soft kiss on the lips. He gently laid you both down for a bit before speaking softly into your ear. “Let’s go take a shower?” He asked before nipping on your ear. “Lets.” You say while getting up along with him to the bathroom, and you both shower together

THE FAKANG END

[munsonology]

okay okay okay

Your loving doting boyfriend, Eddie. Who is gone for a few days, to drop off a custom car to someone. He calls you from the hotel. Starts as a normal call. Then you hear it. The distinct noise of him jerking off. The schlick schlick noise barely noticeable, and to be fair you wouldn't have if he hadn't asked what you were wearing.

You let out a pitiful whine and ask him what he's wearing (nothing apparently). You go to touch yourself and its like Eddie has a sixth sense, immediately says "sorry baby, but that pussy's mine. You aren't touching what's mine right now." "Why?" Its more of a whine then a question,"Eds you're touching yourself, is your dick not mine?" He chuckles, "oh baby of course it is, but I know what's best for you. You want to be a good girl dont you?" You agree and he does his thing before wishing you not sweet dreams but horny dreams and hanging up. Now, you think about folding immediately but you're like okay okay I'll listen...for now...but who's gonna know? No..you're gonna listen. Cause you're a good girl (no you really are a brat but-)

This happened every night. Each night getting worse and worse as what he says just fuels your horniness and the last phone call he holds the phone next to his dick and all you can hear are his distant moans and the wet noise as he's jerking off. Its pure torture. Your resolve is almost gone.

Well....(cliffhanger cause idk if this is anything you like cause I do have an ending to this thought but uh im just gonna leave this here and wait to see what you say 💀

Wait I love it pls tell us the ending 😭

Cause you're a good girl (no you really are a brat but-)

Also I feel like this was personally written to describe me 😭😭😭😭 y’all know I’d be bratty on purpose

Can you imagine hearing that noise through the phone every night!!! The way the skin moves when he jerks his cock fast and how his balls shake 🤤 and what if it’s modern!eddie and he’s on ft cupping his sack like “they’re so cold baby, they miss that mouth of yours” and you can see his pubes and how lovely they are 😭

Bestie I think this might be the start of west coast customs!eddie 🫠 (that’s a mouthful tho so maybe car!eddie)

[ninthform]

i have so many fucking thoughts this is gonna be so disorganized. ofmd spoilers

•ed calling the older fisherman pop pop. ed the babygirl that u are

•also i did feel kind of bad DKJFH ed was so excited to be a fisherman and he was right that guy was a dick

•his transformation back into blackbeard after seeing the destruction and being scared that he lost stede after they separated again. god. also the fucking physics in this show are so funny bc how was the navy dinghy docked right above where his leathers sunk to???

•everyone leave stede alone be nice to him!!!

•also zheng yi sao thinking she lost auntie and just losing all hope :( so glad auntie wwas alive tho i love her

•"and you are... pinocchio?" izzy ur such a fucking bastard. get his ass

•i also wasn't big on the theory that izzy was going to die bc of how much everyone seemed to love him both on the show and within the fandom but the whole buildup this season between his development and ed's journey toward self discovery honestly made it make so much sense. ed really did need to lose him to truly separate from blackbeard - the two of them together were blackbeard and that's why they were so toxic!!

•THE FUCKING BEACH SCENE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. OH MY GOD THE PARALLEL TO STEDE'S DREAM. THE REUNION. THE KISS. "I LOVE YOU" "I KNOW" im fucking. biting and scratching at the wall.

•SOMEONE TELL STEDE HE DID A GOOD JOB also ed calling stede babe omg

•"it's only suicide... if we die" babygirl izzy just got shot

•also stede putting on the naval uniform. WHEW.

•i'm so so fucking glad the crew stayed together. that was one of the things i was most worried about, but i'm glad that the found family got BIGGER!!! spanish jackie and auntie and zheng yi sao joining the revenge!!! the swede is back!!

•i'm so glad they got to retire to their inn omg. but babygirls please find out what that smell was

•buttons landing on izzy's grave. i'm not well

•the episode (and the season as a whole) was VERY rushed but i'm not surprised nor do i blame the crew. they worked with what max gave them and still managed to speedrun some of the best development and writing despite it. i might be biased bc of brainrot but truly the only complaint i have is the pacing which was entirely due to budget cuts and not the writing. if we could've gotten two more episodes i'm positive the pacing would've been so much better

•i like that there are still loose ends and conversations to be had and adventures to go on with the hopes of a renewal, but i also appreciate that they made the ending just satisfying enough that in case we don't get s3, we at least get the ending we got without a huge cliffhanger

[kamiversee]

Tw¡¡: Lots of endless yapping that was made during a breakdown due to this book..🥲

The alt ending has me like choso in tht one scene bc wtf??😭 I've been deceived 😓

And the reader talking about some:

"suddenly everything makes sense"

-😦..

NO TF IT DOESN'T IM IN FUCKIN SHAMBLES RN LIKE NANI?!?!?

Fuck sukuna, fuck gojo- they can get fucked with a hard dick ho

We better stick with choso bc why would we leave him??

The cliffhanger has me foaming at the mouth like a rabied dog, like:

🗣️"I JUST WANNA DIE, AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY-"

Boutta do myself like toji did fr- somebody get me some nunchucks

Lowkey got me feeling like Cassie in that one scene in the kitchen

🗣️"I TRIED TO SCREAM, BUT MY HEAD WAS UNDERWATER"

I'm alive😮but I'm dead⚰️

(this is not a hate comment towards the book nor the writer)

Can you spare this wretched soul the "🌝" anon?

IT DOES MAKE SENSE I SWEAR JUST GO BACK AND READ ><

Anywho, love to see people so passionate abt my fic ^.^

[mudwingprince]

wolf in sheeps clothing

ohohohooooo man you’re in for a treat!

siiiiince im prooobably not going to finish that PMV, this gives me the chance to ramble about my ‘au’ >:3

Here's the song :D

Spoilers for Omori :)

(also swearing but jkfldasdfhfjfpsshhhhh who cares about thaaaaaaat)

Kim was yelling at him

Basil had only asked for his photo album back

Kim had pushed him to the ground

Tears flowed out of his eyes

It's not like he wanted them to

He wasn't pathetic

He pushed himself back up and pushed Kim back

Thankfully, he was taller than her, so he was stronger

"HEY!"

Oh god, here they go again

Basil rolled his eyes

Aubrey stormed up to him, her bat in hand, she was still slightly taller than him

Basil rubbed at his eyes and looked Aubrey in the eyes, hardly even blinking

"What, are you gonna call me a fucking creep again? I know you can do better than that."

That seemed to enrage her

Good

"Step away from Basil!"

What the literal fuck? Who the hell is that?

Basil leaned to the side to catch a glimpse of the person who had just yelled that

Kel and... Sunny?

...Sunny...

Aubrey whipped around, swinging her bat, almost hitting Basil in the face

He didn't flinch

Aubrey was yelling something to Kel, but Basil wasn't paying attention

All of his focus was on... Sunny..

Something must've been said because within seconds he had leapt forward and swung at Aubrey

With a knife

...Sunny... had a knife

The blade slashed across Aubrey's knee, cutting open her skin

Basil couldn't care less

He continued staring daggers at... Sunny...

If looks could kill, Basil would be in a cop's car, being arrested for first degree murder

The hooligans rushed up to Aubrey, concerned for her safety, while Kel ripped Sunny's knife away from him, asking him why he had a knife

Basil hadn't noticed that the hooligans had left until Kel walked up to him

"Hi Basil!"

Basil blinked and looked up at Kel

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Kel was kind

"No."

Sunny wasn't

"I'm fine."

Basil glared at Sunny as he crept towards him

If Sunny got an inch closer to Basil, he didn't know what he would do to him

Basil stormed towards the exit of the playground, making sure to get a good knock on Sunny's side

Sunny fumbled to regain his balance

Huh

"Uh, Basil?"

He stopped dead in his tracks, whipping his head around, black hair flinging in his face

"Is something wrong?"

Why was Kel bothering him on this?

"I said I'm fine."

And before Kel could slip in another word, Basil stormed away

.

.

A couple hours later

.

.

Basil had tried to blow off steam by drawing

He only wound up drawing morbid sketches of Sunny

He hated Sunny

And he's been having morbid ideas ever since he saw the monster for the first time in four years

He was listening to them

Basil reached for a new piece of paper

Lined paper

He started writing

"I'm going out,

I'm not exactly sure what time I'm going to be getting back,

I don't regret what I'm going to do,

I doubt I ever will,

He was is a horrible person and deserves to feel some sort of pain,"

He tried scribbling out "was" as best as he could, but it was still legible

"I'm not sorry.

-Basil"

He opened the door to his room, making sure that Polly actually left

She wasn't there

Basil rushed to the kitchen, dropping the letter and snatching his gardening shears

That will work, he thought and made a beeline towards the door

The sun was already setting as he closed the door behind him

Basil wasn't exactly sure where he would find Sunny, but he had a pretty vague idea

He tried around Hobbeez first, no sign of him there

Then he tried OtherMart, still nothing

Then he tried Fix-It, nope

After no luck searching through any of the stores, so he tried the Playground next

He wasn't exactly sure why he tried looking for Sunny at the end of the day, but he needed to do something

The sun had almost set

The sky was a beautiful shade of purple and blue, like lavender

Basil continued to head towards the Playground, until he heard... voices?

He kept walking towards the voices, trying to hide the shears

They sounded... familiar

He kept walking until he found...

Holy fucking shit, Basil thought, there's no way that they're actually out this late?

Aubrey, Kel, Hero and... Sunny...

All of them were here

Basil stormed up to them

They all blinked

Why had Aubrey forgiven them so quickly?

Wasn't Hero supposed to be at collage?

What were Kel and... Sunny... doing out this late?

What were any of them doing out this late?

How were they acting so... perfect?

Did they all just forget what happened to Mari?

"..."

"Um... Basil? Is something wrong?" Hero asked, genuinely concerned

Sunny just continued blinking in confusion

"Yes."

Basil was ecstatic, they were all here

"Something is really, really wrong."

Basil was depressed, they forgot about him

"There's something wrong with you."

Basil was furious, did he just forget? Did he move on? Did he tell anyone?

Sunny was an asshole.

And he was going to put Sunny in his place.

[heartofholland]

tom recs <3

hi guys! here is a fic rec list i made of all the fics i’ve loved. personally, i consider myself an avid fic reader so i have read a shit ton of fics. these are just my highlights. let me know if you want more like this! and if you do end up reading any of these please make sure you REBLOG them to spread the goodness. these writers work their ass off and deserve all the credit in the world. enjoy! <3

SERIES

riding my by @worldoftom this fic is barely started but i love everything this writer puts out. very smutty, very hot. innocence kink check!

breaking curfew by @wazzupmrstark ASSHOLE TOM! my weakness. enemies to lovers but make it FWB. what I wish my summer camp was like instead of my thighs sticking to chairs and lice outbreaks.

eighteen by @angelic-holland corruption/innocence kink! basically all smut but damn do i want bad boy tom.

the situationship by @fairytelling can’t say enough about this fic. the definition of falling in love with your best friend. if my relationship isn’t like this i don’t want it.

happiness is a butterfly by @blissfulparker soft mob!tom and they’re forbidden soulmates! updates are WELL worth the wait!

i only feel you by @stuckonspidey the first time i read my watch thought i was working out for how high my heart rate was. shit keeps you on your toes. there is a sequel fic but just a heads up you will want to unstan tom on multiple occasions.

make me love you by @mrs-hollandstan frat boy player tom turned soft. mans does a whole 180. fuck dom.

perfidy by @peeterparkr couldn’t be more obsessed with this fic. they’re both so fucking stupid but too afraid to get hurt. also the social media posts are so fucking cute and crucial to the story 

eloped by @worldoftom getting married to tom in the most beautiful vacation spot? sign me the fuck up

you. by @txmhoelland i think there’s definely worse men to be set up with as a PR stunt.

erotas by @farfromparker i have definely read this fic for more days than i’ve been on this earth but every time i lose my goddamn mind

dare you to move by @starksparker-archive the best version of FWB tom is when you’re his roommate…

gone by @dahliaspidey this one… hurts. but i just know it will bounce back.

take me out by @angelic-holland warning this one is really dark. like serial killers. but it was so fascinating i am completely obsessed with the psychology of it all. jake is featured and please don’t imagine the mr. music the entire time like i did </3

single all the way by @heyhihellowhatsup0 i read this whenever i need a lil christmas pick me up

sweetener by @keepingupwiththeparkers cute awkward relationship. it is so real i feel like it could actually happen to me.

ex on the beach by @heyhihellowhatsup0 THE ANGST GIVES ME LIFE

SMUT

bartender by @t-o-m-holland tom happens to own your favorite bar. your subtle flirts aren’t working. the banter between reader and the fam makes me wish i didn't have social anxiety.

siren by @rosyparkers don’t get me wrong i will scream ACAB til the day i die but police officer tom could definitely get it.

best of three by @mrs-hollandstan one of the 3000 threesome fics i have saved. imagine not getting one of the hottest men but TWO.

roommates by @hollandbaby what a coincidence we both want to fuck each other! this checks all the kinks my man. i’ve read this probably no less than 100 times.  

that was that by @moorehollandplz dom!tom but something flips and he’s never been more gentle. mans got both sides of the playing field covered.

know your enemy by @angelic-holland short but sweet. hate sex is always hotter behind the scenes.

wasabi by @angelic-holland literally everything about alice is phenomenal but this is on of my faves. when i read this it makes me feel smarter. also body shots.

say good night by @madmadmilk this writers work never fails to blow me away but this time she managed to encapsulate my entire life. (minus the execution with a very hot and experienced best friend).

buwygf-ib by @hholyholland just ignore tomdaya for a sec and take in the hottest dom!tom i’ve ever witnessed.

cocky by @sykoxartist yeah he’s an asshole but he’s your asshole. at least that’s what he thinks.

sovereign by @farfromparker sub!tom is so hot. man will beg for DAYS.

summer vacation by @kidney9-9  when is hate sex ever like…. not hot as fuck?

ride by @tomhollandsstan face riding. period.

coincidence by @starshinebucky actor!reader and tom fuck… at least they’ll have good chemistry next time.

skin by @hollandbaby dom!tom is not ok with being a sub. unless it’s for you.

you can bet on it by @kiwi-bitchez all of this writers smut makes my pussy throb. this is my fave. just wait for the twist.

a rose blooms by @cornacopicimagines prince!tom drives me wild. but wait til he finds out you’re not a virgin.

begging by @raewritesfiction tom makes you beg for it.

self reflection by @stuckonspidey this is actual proof tom has a praise kink.

minor inconvenience by @angel-spidey toms an idiot but at least he can get you off.

flesh by @starshinebucky cocky tom kills me.

keeping him nice and warm by @marvelouspeterparker mob!tom the gif itself to sends me.

after hours by @cornacopicimagines never had sexual tension with a teacher but this will do.

ANGST

josslyn by @multiharlot messy situation but reader handles it like a champ. if your heart isn’t broken enough, the last line will make sure it’s unfixable for days on end.  

moral of the story by @kelieah listen to the song while you’re at it to make your cry sesh take a turn for the worst. 

cherry by @xoluvx this one hurts real bad. so does the song. 

a complicated love story by @samhollandssweaters an emotional rollercoaster for real.

he dies in the end by @allfandomxreader ignore the title and just cry your eyes out with me.

eighteen by @fancyxholland you’ll be confused why it’s in the angst category but trust me.

all the lies by @peteywillproceed getting cheated on but the girl is toms gf, how do you tell him. 

memories by @nycparkers i sob to this whenever i need a good cry. 

don’t be a fool by @nycparkers breakups that dont end messily make me so fucking jealous.

FLUFF

kiss currency by @madmadmilk borderline smut. confused and oblivious harrison. dialogue inspires me to talk to males.  

plank all over me by @waitimcomingtoo FILRTY TOM! THE BANTER! i really am a whore for well written dialogue. there’s additional parts but i won’t spoil.

 playing cupid by @marvelobsessedteenager you set everyone else up but wait a damn minute how did you forget about tom?

 little flirt by @webslinger-holland oh to flirt with tom while he’s sweaty from intensely dancing for the lip sync battle.

pour it out by @rhapsodyparker i don’t know what it is but famous!reader going on talk shows or having interviews and they ask the reader cheeky questions about tom might be one of my many kinks…

hubby by @t-holland2080 it’s the small things that make me want to bawl my eyes out for being so lonely.

going live by @redrebecca the dialogue makes me cry of happiness! tom doing a live (what a concept).

paddy’s crush by @tom-holland-is-spiderman jealous tom but of his younger brother.

 wannabe by @sailingintothenight the cliffhanger at the end demands a second part.

flawless by @missnxthingg  tom is a simp.

you and me by @sunshinehollandd best friend tom makes me soft.

dick appointments. web shooters. the duality of a man. by @porterporker  it gets a lil steamy but man is “web shooter” a funny name for a dick.

best day by @thollandss dad!tom gives me baby fever even though i am a virg.

 tom asks your dad by @blissfulparker can i just skip through the bad boyfriends and just marry the love of my life already.

baked chicken by @waitimcomingtoo there isn’t a category for awkward but if there was this would be in it.

lover boy by @starshinebucky  tom being so oblivious you like him that you need to call for backup.

afterglow by @wickedholland i wish someone would treat me like this when im drunk instead of leaving me to hold my own hair back.

[redorich]

I literally woke up, checked tumblr and was like oh shit...that cliffhanger was terrible and I need to know what happens next!

Anonymous said to redorich: Ther Hermitcraft vs Dreamsmp war really is just gonna be a 2 hour long Dreamsmp cringe moment compilation huh. Also I like what you wrote! That fight fic was EPIC, but I do wonder why tf does Dream want Tommy back rn? I guess to solidify his status? Like, look at me I’m the righteous son! I’ve saved this infant child!

Anonymous said to redorich:

how could you end in a cliffhanger my day is ruined- /j /lh (but in all seriousness, HOLY SHIT DUDE IM SO HYPED UP FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA - Art Anon (the one who asked if you liked art of your work and such :>)

-------

The dreamon whispers in his mind. He can’t tell which thoughts are his own. His fingers twitch on the handle of his axe, whether he’s faced with friend or foe. Dream wants to be this insidious person he’s become. He can’t remember why he was ever kind.

Tommy, that obnoxious prick. He’s the only one that ever consistently said no to Dream. It infuriates him. He loves it. He wants that again, for someone to tell him no, you’re wrong, you’re being a dick. The dreamon doesn’t like it, but it does like breaking Tommy’s spirit. Dream has to have Tommy back.

In the end, the kid makes it easy on him: he comes to Dream. Philza’s there too, which is a complication, but Dream knows he’s better than Philza. He can kill him if he needs to. Tommy won’t forgive him for it, though. The thought is delicious.

They face each other on the balcony of the HEP tower. Dream killed all the snipers hiding up here. No doubt they’ve respawned.

“They don’t really care about you, Tommy,” Dream smiles indulgently. Stupid child. “They think you’re a novelty. They pity you, because you know blood like I do. Don’t you miss it? These ‘hermit’ assholes-- they go on and on about how everyone is equal, but it’s bullshit. Where’s your admin?”

Philza shifts uncomfortably from his position behind Tommy, swayed by Dream’s rhetoric but unwilling to compromise on his son’s wellbeing. Tommy snarls. He doesn’t know where Xisuma is, but he knows exactly what the admin is doing.

Dream barks out a nasty laugh. “If the hermits really liked you, if your admin really cared, he’d be here. But I’m here, Tommy. I fight alongside my men. Look around. All the death, all the destruction? I did it all for you.”

Dream slithers closer, still smiling. Phil raises his sword minutely, and Dream stops approaching but doesn’t back away.

“I’m your only friend, Tommy. I visited you every day in exile. Remember the trident I gave you? We had good times together.” Dream’s voice grows hard. “Then you lied to me. You turned your back on me. I have been nothing but patient with you. I’ve given you so many second chances. This is your last one. Come back home with me.”

Tommy meets his father’s gaze. He can barely see past the water in his eyes. His breath catches in his throat as he holds his arms up, silently asking Dream for a hug. Tommy needs this, he needs this to happen.

Knowing that he’s won, Dream grins triumphantly. He wraps his arms around the young man, then chokes. Philza meets the possessed man’s shocked gaze over Tommy’s shoulder as blood flows freely down the blade of his sword, seeps into Philza’s palms as he yanks out the sword that he’s buried in Dream’s chest through his son.

“What--” Dream rasps, trying to pull away from Tommy. The boy’s hands around his back are suddenly a vise grip, nails like claws digging into his shoulderblades.

The hermit admin, unseen til now, swoops down with his elytra and shouts in a language that Dream doesn’t understand. The dreamon knows it, though. As the tall, armored admin flicks through debug screens, the floor glows purple with Aurebesh runes. Dream’s skin feels like it’s melting.

The sky goes black, then white. Consciousness returns to Dream in patches. A short woman with flowers in her brown hair is splashing the two of them with healing potions-- Tommy is still holding him up. All at once, the gravity of the situation hits him.

“Hold your fire!” he roars. Half of his men are dead anyway.

He grips desperately at his hair. “Oh God, what have I done?” He feels physically ill. “Tommy, kill me. I only have one canon life, it’ll stick, I deserve it for what I did to you.”

Tommy hears Philza suck in a sharp breath. The man that he once loved like another brother, the man he’d fought wars both with and against, the man who took everything from him, is laid out in his arms and begging for Tommy to take his revenge. It would be so easy. Tommy wouldn’t even need a sword. Technoblade wouldn’t have hesitated, if it was him here instead of Tommy. Even Tubbo would feel enough pity to put Dream out of his misery.

Tommy remembers when he lost his first canon life to Dream in a duel for his nation. He remembers seeing Wilbur’s unstable features light up when Dream gave him eleven and a half stacks of TNT. He remembers exile, and everything that came before it.

Tommy also remembers when False caught him stealing her cobblestone, and she gave him a shulker box full of it. He remembers when Impulse saw Tommy’s war room, and wept for Tommy’s childhood. He remembers the proud look on Grian’s face when they pranked Doc together. He remembers, at every turn, expecting rejection, and receiving kindness.

“No,” he says, and is taken aback by the firmness in his own voice.

Dream’s face twists in an ugly sneer, more inwardly directed than a jab at Tommy. “So that’s what I get, huh? You’re going to leave me alive to suffer?”

“No,” Tommy repeats. “We’re going to fix things. We’ll make them better.”

“That’s impossible,” Dream says incredulously.

Tommy smiles. “Not impossible-- just hard. You’re up for a challenge, yeah? I believe in you.”

The sun sets on dead bodies and rubble. The moon rises with a gleam of hope.

[checkers-dance]

anyway after that we ended up talking about nct AND THIS LEADS ME TO THE FICS I WAS GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT BUT FORGOR. anyway, i was telling noxia abt how i remember discourse over the johnny/mark ship because people thought they "acted like brothers." so we ended up watching a video compilation of them (ill admit, i think they're kinda cute, they have this very dudebro x dudebro dynamic that i find really amusing). we read the comments and people are like genuinely terrified of admitting they like the ship its so fucked up 😭

so i got curious. i wanted to know if anyone had taken that idea and played with it. and yeah there were some incest fics IVNFJNJFNV. there was this one where johnny and mark hadn't seen each other and then when mark was asleep Stuff Happened. kinda messed up. and then there was another fic inspired by that one where the same thing thing happened but mark woke up and then they consensually fucked. good for them. im kinda obsessed with that idea ngl VBFJVNFJ.

anyway there was also some incest play so like not actual incest but still fun.

BUT THEN THERE'S THESE TWO THAT IM KINDA GENUINELY OBSESSED. BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETED AND IT MAKES ME CRY, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

so the first one is this omegaverse fic where johnny goes in a rut at the same time mark goes into heat and bro. BRO. im such a fan of siblings doing stuff impulsively and then regretting it immediately and thats exactly what happened. neither of them were thinking straight so the next day they are both disoriented and confused and they both feel awful ITS SO GOOD, I NEED INCEST WITH GUILT AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS. but the fic hasnt been completed yet, and it was posted last year... im so scared it may never come back. i think im probably gonna dowload it just in case it gets deleted because i would not be able to handle it, im so attached.

AND THEN THE OTHER ONE.... i didnt think i would enjoy it much because it was dadson but bro. the writing is so good and the dynamic is so interesting. so basically mark is johnny's kid except he didnt know because it happened when he was a young teen and the mom never told him and gave up mark for adoption and its only now as an adult that hes making effort to contact his biological parents. (actually they meet when mark is like seventeen but they dont actually start interacting properly until mark is an adult). anyway, his adoptive parents turn out to be shit and they kick mark out because they find out hes gay. and also his ex was a dick and they broke up. he moves in with johnny and bro. they are so sweet. like they have this really interesting dynamic where they have a really cute familiar bond but then they also have a clearly romantic/sexual thing for each other thats also really loving and caring. BUT johnny isnt as happy about it as mark is because he wants mark to have a normal life eventually. but then he also indulges both mark and himself and then pulls away so mark is rlly messed up about it and it all ends up leading to this really bad argument between them. and then when johnny comes home mark is fucking GONE, HE LEFT, AND THERE'S JUST A NOTE TELLING HIM HE'S LEAVING, AND JOHNNY HAS NO IDEA WHERE HE IS. WHEN I TELL YOU I FELT PHYSICAL PAIN READING THAT, I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED, NOOOO. AND THATS THE LAST CHAPTER... THE FIC HASNT BEEN FINISHED YET.... IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT IT.

NOOOOOOO NOT BOTH OF THE FICS BEING UNFINISHED.....AND THE CLIFFHANGER TOO....why are u so unlucky when it comes to this 😭. I hope at least one of them is continued. Also yes, please download the fics, it would be devastating to have a repeat of the jackson/jooheon fic deletion situation

And gjskfksjf, it seems like the discourse over this ship has spawned a lot of fucked up ideas in fic, I love that. The dead dove writers always win in the end <3

But hmmmm....dudebro4dudebro.....I was going to compare them to jookyun but I don't think either jooheon or changkyun can rlly be considered dudebros 😭

[grizztheexplorer]

Ep 10!!!!! Love Victor live reaction:

-finally!!!! Never thought i would be rooting for the dad but here i am. I hateeee he doesn’t trust Isabel nor that he wants to tell her to not do things. But i ain’t with Isabel equating what she did to him beating up Roger. Girl fuck Roger.

- I don’t need to watch further to KNOW someone heard Benji talk to Victor in the bathroom and I bet my ass it was Andrew bc drama

- I KNEW TAKE THIS HOMOPHOBIC ASS OUT OF HERE

-“whatever happens between us” are they gonna separate??? I thought before i started the show i saw a spoiler of divorce (hadn’t read why or anything) but i feel like if the separate for a while they could actually find their way back to each other??? I hope they try living apart and all for a while bc i do wanna root for them. Also i reallyyyyyy fucking hope she doesn’t get with Roger again s2. Like i said, FUCK that guy.

-okay is still fuck Andrew hours but AT LEAST him not even thinking of outing Victor gets him out my blacklist.

- TOO GOOD A GUY TO WALK AWAY FROM IM JUST GONNA GO CHOKE IM STRESSED

-LISTEN IK MIA IS STILL AN ISSUE HERE BUT VICTOR HAS BEEN SO REPRESSED AND SAD AND BENJI HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH DEREK BC THATS THE GAY GUY HE GOT AND LIKE G O D DEREK IS SUCH AN ASS DID U SEE BENJI’S FACE WHEN VICTOR WAS LISTING GOOD THINGS?? THEY BOTH DESERVE A CHANCE AT HAPPINESS IM CRYING

-also uh don’t think I didn’t hear Derek say “i feel weird at a high school dance” sir Benji ain’t a senior he’s a sophomore. Is Derek out of high school?? A college kid dating a sophomore in HS is🤢🤢AND he treats him badly??? Jail

-im crying🥺🥺🥺listening to Benji and Victor talk has also lowkey made me realize like even if they haven’t interacted as much Victor has allowed himself to be jusy a teen with Benji even if they have talked about heavy stuff. With Mia unknowingly he did the same with his parents. Showed her the version of him she wanted to see bc of guilt, fear, and in order to make her feel better. Victor has only been him with Benji (and with Felix) and wow. Didn’t notice until their talk and me starting to think back on the show. Perfect writing.

- is heartbreaking how Mia found out. I’m wondering if maybe she’ll be hurt but understand??? She’s a 15-16 year old smart girl. At that age i def saw cases like this and it always ends with the straight partners supporting the gay ones. Hell, a case EXACTLY like this happened my freshman year of HS. These really popular girl started dating this new kid and she was obsessed with him lowkey?? They broke up bc he came out and she was the most supportive. I understand she’s hurt bc he cheated, but i hope she listens to him and tries to understand like how hard it is for queer kids and how confused he was? Is heartbreaking bc he truly cares for her and im sure right she thinks he doesn’t and just used her. But i hope she’s willing to listen. As a queer person, I honestly understand all the shit Victor has done. Is not the best way to do it. But I don’t feel angry at him. I get it.

- ugh the song for that kiss was perfect tho🥺🥺

-omg I totally thought him talking to Mia would be a cliffhanger are they gonna have a confrontation now??? She’s still so raw😭😭 i want them to be besties noooo

-LAKE OMG GO OFF. Poor Wendy tho she was hyping herself up to ask Felix🥺

-THAT WAS SO CUTE FELIX AND LAKE ARE AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME BC 🥺❤️

-lowkey Andrew didn’t try to intervene and instead got with Mia to take the opportunity but also im 1000% not surprised of the straight person not wanting to hear his side and instead taking the girl where they can be alone together 💀💀may I say though with their history i do not think Andrew and Mia should be alone together. She has feelings for him yes, but she already regrets having sex with him bc she was feeling vulnerable. He didn’t know it the first time but this time he know how she felt and how she is feeling now. So this time it is kinda taking advantage if he ends up having sex with her.

-Pilar girl i get it but also the queer romance life of ur brother is literally.... none of ur business and does NOT affect u the way ur parents’ relationships affect u. So please kindly stfu.

-thank Pilar hugged him back

-hell yeah Andrew said no. U still out the blacklist buddy good for u

-SIMON SAYING YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE ME IS THE TIP THATS MAKING ME CRY AGAIN BC YES THAT GAY COLLEGE SQUAD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR U AND I HOPE WE SEE IT AGAIN S2

- :)))))))) that ending :))))))))

S2 thoughts:

- okay well a lot of truth bombs. I truly think separating was the right choice to get them back together in a healthy manner. That is if they don’t date other people. Roger will most likely make a comeback. She will most likely date him. Maybe she’ll realize what a shit bag he is when he does/says something dumb and realize Armando is it for her??? I hope at least i do wanna root for them

- im so proud of Victor🥺🥺 he told everything to Benji, and came to out Felix + his family. Ik things will be hard with Mia at first, and Andrew is still no saint so he might be a dick to him on the team once he is out (or might defend him) but at least they know too. I saw the writers saying s2 will be now about Benji and Victor learning to be in a relationship and Victor’s environment changing. Benji and him will def struggle in the department that Victor is still learning how to openly be himself and let himself be seen versus Benji already having dealt with that before. So it will prob be hard for Benji too. It’s exciting tho and i hope despite everything s2 is kind to them.

- backetball will be hard for Victor without a doubt. I really hope Bram and Simon come for holidays or something and we get to see them again. Maybe even meet Benji or Felix too that would be so🥺🥺🥺

- can’t tell how the parents will react. Ik he won’t be kicked out and certain things will he hard bc s2 is gonna be about them working it out for sure, but I can’t tell if at first they’ll go in complete denial or will just quietly ignore it or fully pretend to be supportive while they aren’t. I hope s2 shows us the end of that scene and how the reactions went and not just a time jump. We will most likely start with a time jump but i hope the first ep of s2 shows us the reaction through a flashback.

Overall: amazing actors. Really good writing. These were realistic characters who make dumb realistic choices and are heartfelt and down to earth. All the actors are amazing and bring so much to the table. The writing is great dropping small hints for things to come without it being screamed at your face so you aren’t surprised 100% by certain choices but also not completely expected. And it’s honest about teens’ journeys at that age with appropriate age actors (except for Andrew I haven’t looked at his age but motherfucker looks older then ME lmao). I can’t WAIT for s2 and again, leaving it to existence so it happens: LET SIMON AND BRAM HAVE A LIL EP WITH VICTOR AGAIN IN S2!!!!!!

[moonlight-ghoulette]

prompt: rhett walks in on link in a compromising position (aka butt stuff) and can't stop thinking about it

Here ya go, Anon! Some good ol college rhink :)

[[MORE]]

Rhett swiped his key card into his residence hall and made his way back to his dorm, happy to be free from the grips of history, calculus and structural dynamics-- at least for the day. And there was a family-sized bag of pepperoni pizza rolls in his dorm mini fridge calling his name, which made things just a little more tolerable.

With a quick turn of the key, Rhett pushed his way into the room only to be shocked out of his pizza-flavored daze by a shrill "Rhett! Wait!" echoing off the painted bricks of their dorm, a flash of bare skin, then a comforter, and finally wood grain directly in front of his own face after he pulled the door back shut in a panic.

What. The fuck. Was that.

Rhett's legs took him right back down the hallway he came from on their own accord as his mind desperately tried to catch up to what he just saw. 

Link. Buck naked. Hands and knees on the bed, backing onto a bright blue thing attached to the wall like his life depended on it.

In my bunk. 

Link. Fucking himself. Right? With a sex toy? With something. So he's gay? No, he doesn't have to be. He's doing it on my bed. He's doing it on my freaking bed.

Rhett walked briskly towards the library. He needed someplace quiet and free of distractions so he could process everything. Renting a study room for an hour seemed like it would do. 

Rhett dropped his backpack to the ground and folded himself down onto the soft chair, his face in his hands. How was he supposed to go back to his dorm now? Can he? Link has to be mortified.

Wouldn't be surprised if he's filing for different housing arrangements this very moment. 

They've seen each other naked in locker rooms. They've requested privacy for some self-care. There have even been a few nights where Rhett would wake up to the top bunk gently shaking with, no doubt, the movement of Link's hand moving over his dick. But this was a whole different beast. This wasn't just catching your best friend jacking off. 

Or was it? If this is how Link prefers to get his rocks off, is it really that different? Just because he's riding a wall-mounted rubber dick in--in my bed. Shit. Why? Why is that the one thing I can't get past?

Rhett let wishful thinking get in the way of logic. But he couldn't let the thought slide.

Maybe it's because he wishes it were me.

Rhett peered over as his backpack buzzed once, then again seconds later. It had to be Link. He dug through the pockets until he found his phone, complete with several new messages flashing on his screen. 

Link:

Please don't think im

some degenerate

or pervert

Link:

We can talk about

this, I can explain.

theres alot I need to 

explain

Link:

Just come back soon

idk what you're doing and

I'm freaking out and

I don't wanna lose you

over a stupid choice I made

Link:

Rhett?

Link:

If ur mad I get it. I'd

be mad too. Be furious, 

I deserve it. But please

bo I don't wanna screw us up

Link:

Just come back home

Link:

Rhett…

Rhett had to read through the messages three times before giving up, realizing he couldn't get the mental image out of his head no matter how much he tried. He owed Link a response, that much was sure. 

But the way Link was riding that thing was replaying over and over in his head, taking up all the mental facilities he had to spare. His shaggy black hair falling over his eyes. His thighs spread wide, back arched, hands digging into the comforter, desperate for something to hold on to. Jaw slack, eyes shut, moans breaking through his ragged breaths, absolutely railing himself with the toy.

Or maybe his mind was supplementing all those extra details for him. 

Shit.

Rhett tried to ignore the growing tension in his abdomen as he picked his phone back up.

Rhett:

It's ok. We're fine 

I promise. Be home in 15

Rhett didn't want Link to panic, but he needed just a little more time. At least his life-long best friend wasn't packing his bags, never to be heard from again. But now there were more issues right behind that, and the main one sitting in his lap begged to be attended to as soon as possible.

Rhett had fucked his hand to the thought of Link before; He was no stranger to it. Hearing Link shudder and choke back moans late at night when he thought he wouldn't be heard had spurred on many a hard climax for Rhett. If he were not so emotionally invested in this friendship, this would be the ultimate fodder for his bank of mental jack-off material, neatly filed under L for Link which sat locked tight away from the sections of his brain meant for reality. But aside from his fantasies, this was his best friend. His platonic life partner. And this was about to become a lengthy conversation, an unearthing of dusty skeletons hidden in their closets. And possibly a reevaluation of their friendship and where they now stand. 

Turns out Link wasn't the only one who had things to get off their chest. 

Rhett checked the time and glanced over at the small window of the heavy steel door. He had only a few short minutes to sort out his own issue so he could face Link with a clear mind. 

Propping his backpack onto the arm of the chair beside him to block the view of any curious passerbys, Rhett shoved down the front waist of his sweatpants and pulled his already hard cock out, wasting no time in giving himself a few firm strokes from base to tip. He let his head fall back and rest on the wall as he worked himself over, twisting his wrist on every pull as images of Link flashed back to his mind even more vivid than before. 

This time, Link was in front of him. Resting on his hands and knees, his perfect little ass poised and ready. He looks back over his shoulder, his expression of need so strong, it looks as if he could cry.

"Please," Link pants out, barely a whisper. "Please Rhett. I need you. Been wanting this for so long. Fuck me. C'mon, please."

Rhett let out a soft moan as his hand sped up, giving himself completely over to the fantasy. 

"I got you, baby. Don't worry. I'm gonna fuck you real good." Rhett whispered to the ceiling, rolling his hips as he worked his hand even faster. 

"That little toy of yours can't fuck you back like I can, huh? That what you were doing in my bunk? Thinkin' of me? Wishing it were me fillin' you up like this?" Rhett moaned to the quiet room, his hand almost a blur on his cock as he chased his orgasm, his toes curling hard in his shoes. 

Rhett came hard with a whisper of Links name on his lips, his free hand pooling the ropes of come pulsing out of his cock as he thrust his hips to ride out the last waves of pleasure his body had to offer. 

For once, Rhett was thankful of the dirty gym clothes he had stuffed in the bottom of his backpack, using the shirt to wipe off his hands and half-hard cock before stuffing himself back into his sweatpants. 

He checked his phone. 6 minutes left. Just in time for him to make it back to his dorm as promised. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I KNOW, I know. I'm leaving y'all on a cliffhanger. But maybe that means there will be a part 2? 🤔

Hope you enjoyed this, Anon! And I hope everyone else does as well! :)

[drarry-with-a-side-of-harry]

Journey into the MCU XIII

Spider-Man: Far From Home

omg so I finally got to watch FFH last night and I’ve slept on it and... nope! still cannot breathe!!! it was soooooo gooOOOOD!!!!!

so first of all, Nick Fury is a major dick in this, right? like he’s always been a bit arrogant and I’ve always liked that and him as a whole but tHEN he signs this kid up to some shit he doesn’t wanna do aND PROCEEDS TO TELL HIM THat ‘I knew you weren’t ready for this’ or whatever???? ummmm?? eXCUSE YOU??!?!!! you just forced this kid into the fight and then you tell him he’s not ready? uhh yeh okay whatever Nick... poor baby Peter why can’t anyone just leave him alone

speaking of which, I got a LOT of Tony parallels from the bits with Nick, particularly Iron Man 2 vibes, which I thought was really nice.

aND ALL THE TONY STUFF OMG!!!! all the memorials and everything and... just... UGHHHHH so fucking good! EDITH fully ain’t lying is she??! yes Tony you’re still an icon even when you’re dead uh huh!!! but was nobody gonna tell me that they used some Civil War footage?! I was so shook like ‘YES my baby’s on screen again come on!!!’ and the way they used all the former SI employees... I just really loved that! but one of them fully is just like ‘so Obadiah Stane yelled at me one time and that was Tony Stark’s fault’ oh ok sweetie go off I guess??

okay so in the illusion sequence the big, fallen stone Cap and Nat?! oH okAy they did tHAT wow. aND TONY’S GRAVE FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF!!! AHHHHH Peter you poor boy why can’t they just leave you alone?!

I loved the homage to Steve/Thor with the makeshift shield/hammer - it was just wonderful :’)

omg aLSO I LOVE how Happy has fully stepped up after Tony’s death to become the BEST honorary uncle and we stan :’) it was all just so lovely and wholesome and I was scREaming at their interactions!!! AND WHEN HE LOOKS AT PETER CREATING THE SUIT ON THE PLANE OMG IM GETTING SHIVERS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AHHHHHH I AM SOFT!!!!!! took me straight back to the first Iron Man man and... 🥺🥺🥺 he looked so much like his dad I- :’) and they had the wholesome chat about Tony and Happy says he misses him too I AM TOO FRAGILE FOR THIS AHHHH

i love that the film is basically a rom com as well?? like we love that. and I love MJ and Ned so much in this and Ned with his 2 second relationship ughh I love that boy so much! and yeh MJ’s just iconic as per! throughout every MJ/Peter interactions I was just screaming ‘nO I am TOO SOFT FOR THIS!!!!!!!’

and I’d seen all the memes about Quentin’s motive and the ‘you don’t have to kill Spidey. oh no I’m gonna’ meme and that shit’s iconic bUT I DIDNT REALISE HOW STRAIGHT UP TRUE IT WAS GONNA BE JFC lmaooo he’s fully just like ‘I didn’t like Tony Stark (on my world, right)? and now this kid’s gonna die AHHHH HAHAHAHA what a legend

I mean Jake Gyllenhaal in general was just fucking iconic I couldn’t quite believe it. you know I’ve seen all the memes but I couldn’t grasp how fully brilliant he is wow

so it was great! and I cried a couple of times when it was missing Tony hours you know? aND THEN THEY HIT US WITH THE MID AND POST CREDITS SCENES AND OH MY GOD let me just say, I now get why everyone was fully freaking out about how awful it would be if Spidey left the MCU on those cliffhangers because bITCH wow.

I knew he revealed Peter’s identity but I DIDNT KNOW HE DID THAT holy shit and then the skrulls?! omg wtf!!! is that why Nick was a dick to Pete? so many questions I just- AHHHHHH

EDIT: OKAY ALSO SO I FULLY FORGOT TO MENTION DURING THE TITLE SEQUENCE THEY DID NOT PLAY I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU I WAS SOBBING OMFG THIS IS IT THIS IS THE END

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

[horrible-monstrosity]

some nonsense about capitalism, and some more nonsense with the egg girl being far too willing to act for herself, which just raises questions about how this works and why these girls need saving in the first place and bla bl a bla also brownie, who we haven't even seen fight before, has like five different weapons already... dude just let the other girls modify their weapons if they can imagine it in place of randos giving main girl random shit that just works for some reason. second ep, main sees gynmasts gym whip and thinks, what if I did that and makes her own weapon change like that; third/fourth seeing the two fan girls being friends inspires main girl to tell idol girl we needs to do the teamwork and they both work their weapons into something matching and do the thing. this would also imply that summoning two related girls gets you an approximately twice-as-strong monster, as though their monsters had merged rather than spawning as seperate entities, which would be implied to be what happened when brownie cracked like 20 eggs at once if THE SHOW EVER FUCKING ADDRESSES THAT also man bad woman victim a bloo bloo blooo

hey remmer last episde wehn muh sawki name was cliffhanger dramatic? now they jus dump it on us that the mom recognises her and she just says she's his niece. glad to know i don't need to care about that either thanks main namedrops koito aka suicide girl like she expects the other two to know who the actual fuck she's talking about so brownie can exposition to them that she's the girl main's trying to save without having to actually write main having any emotions about having a dead fucking friend she's trying to bring back, like she might have to pause slightly before she says "my friind who committed fucking suicide because of me" wow that'd be too hard to write... not that they didn't already kill it by having her just casually, emotionlessly namedrop the girl in the first place. idol girl then immeeeeeeediately decides sudoku girl was sucking sawasaki man's dick and that's why she killed herself, right to the face of main girl who has likely considered this many times over and who should be pretty fucking fucked up about this shit, who idol girl knows damn well should have thought about this and that maybe saying a girl's friend fucking killed herself for some teacher love scandal reason is kind of a dick move... and main barely fucking reacts. OK, COOL. AND THEN THE TEACHER INSTANTLY APPEARS AT THE HOUSE AT THAT EXACT MOMENT A AHAHAHAHAH H AH DHFSDUBGUBGTEV BYSU Y OES5YSYUYYYBRND BY65 YRBYB YIB8TU A4YT4W6 T UGG U FUCK OFF SHOW uncle adopts cats so he can't be bad.......??????? I mean I'm entirely sure this show will, in the next second immediately after I unpause this shit, immediately turn the teacher into the most absurd superdemon ever known to mankind so it can smear the slurry of MAN BAYUD WOMUN VBICTUMUUUUUMMM in our faces like the slurry of brain-diarhea coming out of thw writing staff's ears, but that doesn't actually excuse anything, gendergirl. Maybe he was kind to the girl like he's kind to his cats and that's why she fell in love with him, and whatever happened next wasn't even his fault. you dumb fuck.

lol they mentioned the injuries again lol they're still pretending that's an actual functioning plot point lol somehow asking mom-chan about why sudoku-chan fucking died turned into telling her about the dream fights... those two things have nothing to do with each other and can be completely separated. what the fuck.

lololololidolgirl has abusive mom completlely offscreen and she's just telling us lololololololol but talking about main's dad simply leaving turns into "lol men weak and bad can't hanble stronb wimun" lol fuck off

for some reason, or for absolutely no reason, or because the writers are pretentions tards who're like 'lookit how smurt we ar durrrrr' we cut from the meaningless grousing exposition schoolgirl slice-of-life club with brownie laughing to the not-sees laughing as brownie saves a grown-ass woman who tries to give her hair-care tips... "ain'tcha gonna ask why i diiiiiiied?" nope, brownie has as much interest in your meaningless exposition as I do. I'd say as the audience does, but you know there's a fuckload of dunning-krugers eating this shit up and claiming you only don't like it becus it needs u think durr even though thinking about this shit for five seconds is enough to show how much of a pile of bullshit it is. also, remember the first episode where it was kept beautifully ambiguous whether the girl main was saving had actually done the sudoku, or if she was considering it and being saved there would help her have the strength to keep living or some shit, or if she was a conceptual personification of a suicidal bullying victim created out of the subconcious of humanity and not even a real existing person? especially since she somehow knew what was happening, making it seem like she'd been through this before, like she'd been hatched and saved (or failed to be saved) previously? naw let's just spoonfeed everything to the audience, anally even. here's your suppository of bullshit. i know they'd already made it fairly clear the girls being saved had done the sudoku, but this "durrr do you know that uhhhhhh i'm dead?" bit is just... jesus christ shut the fuck up show, shut the fuck up what's the line between sudoku girls who end up as statues and ones who end up in eggs? could one of the main casts' sudoku girls end up in one of the others' eggs, or even in one of their own (especially given someone else can buy the egg for them and they don't even need to crack it themselves to get slapped into a fight) and end up being saved? how would that affect the statue's progress? what the fuck is any of this shit, even?

brownie slaps the shit out of haircare girl lol and the monster is... a hair-care monster. i... why the fuck are there two of them this time? sorry, three of them?? you'd think the "mirror mirror" shit would imply a theme of duality because reflections and shit but just... "how do i beat them?" fuck i don't know you're the mahu shuju here you figure it out then it....... cuts to the middle of the day with brownie hanging out with the rest of the girls... WHAT THE FUCK? so was that a flashback (for no fucking reason), did she beat them offscreen after having gone home and gone to sleep offscreen as well since it jumped to this from them hanging at main's home? what the fuck is happening and why the fuck should i care, show? and what we cut away to was a bunch of incoherent fucking babble in random fucking locations as the girls walk... somewhere for no reason at all... yeah, this was worth cutting off the battle for! i... after enough wandering they sit down to eat in some abandoned-ass-looking fucking I don't know where the fuck they are and... THE EGG PEOPLE TELL THEM TO BUY THEIR EGGS AND LEAVE. WHERE THE FUCK IN EGGLAND DID THEY FIND FOOD? DOES THE FOOD ACTUALLY EXIST? WILL EATING IT MAKE THEM FAT? WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY? WHY DOES EGGWORLD EVEN HAVE A PLACE LIKE THIS? WHEN  DID THEY GET HERE? THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF THIS? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- ........................the egg people turn on the lights for them and let them pkay game because.............................. aegIibuGHUHgHGbgb i thought they wre unfeeling and caulous vgny yueyy y jb that was like their one character trait you rubbed in in out faces how tyey were ht0hing but a shitty kyuibey ripoff dgbbky yr dj jffj why should they care? why did the girls even try to appeal to their sympathies for a fucking bowling game when they had previously been shown to have none?? agdaaaaaaaaaaaa

do fucking selfies carry over to the real world? who the fuck cares? gender girl tries to garner more sympathy with the audience by repeating her exact same gripes and character traits but this time with selfies. i could not care less. apparently we're supposed to care that 'ura-acca', whichever the fuck of the eggmen that even is, being softer on the girls than... other acca, even though they've been shown to have no appreciable differences before this, and also they're both completely offscreen so it's hard to even associate these shiny new character traits with whichever one of them is supposed to be doing it. what the fuck is the point of any of this again? "so buy your eggs and go to sleep"- WHAT THE FUDK I THOUGHT EGG-BUYING HAPPENED IN THE DREAMOWLRD TO BEING WITH. FUCKING MAIN CHARACTER SAID SHE WAS IN A DREAM WHEN THE CICADA STARTED TALKING TO HER AND THEN SHE WAS LED TO THE EGG-MACHINE. THIS PLACE EXISTS IN THE WAKING WORLD? CAN PEOPLE JUST FUCKING WALK IN HERE BECAUSE IT JUST ACTUALLY FUCKING EXISTS? WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU just as we're wondering why the fuck these girls don't just fucking buy their eggs already and get on with it idol girl just fucking suggests that they just fucking give up with it and stop buying eggs. fuuuuuuuuuuck I'd been long wondering about what the fuck was going to keep them doing eggs if they didn't want to, but it's just going to be something fucking dumb and they're just going to slam us in the fucking face with it like a fucking frying pan aren't they. also, idolgirl is just fucking saying this to the face of ura acca and other acca after they'd been bitching at the girls to get a move on, which just seems... really cheap and lazy on both her part and the writers' part. you wasted acca-kuns' time for nothing you little brat! also also, this is the girl with the derpest feelungs evurr who cut herself over the sudoku, whose dreamworl overrode main's? yeah remember that? she actually doesn't give a fuck and is going to give up now lol. ha ha bitch bye lolololol "im w9man so muh emotions spwepwpt away" you dumb fucker. and yeah, it's true that feeling guilty shouldn't mean you need to risk your life for some unknown payoff (none of the girls have even gotten CLOSE to reviving a statue as far as I can tell), but you'd think this conversation would come after a near-death harrowing battle or some shit, not just WANDERING AROUND AND EATING DREAM SNACKS AND TALKING ABOUT FUCKALL YOU LITTLE SHIT. Or after actually connecting with the main cast and making actual real-life friendships with them, with the idea that she has in real life now what she was missing when sudoku did the sudoku, but the main cast has absolutely no chemistry. The writers want us to think they do, but they just don't. "someone has to be the bad guy!" real funny line considering there's no real villain in this show, or conflict, or anything... but no, no one needs to be the bad guy, this whole "durr we riskung our lives for nutttun" came out of nowhere for no reason, we don't need it, and then yeah she informs us all that "we freinds" because durp. You were the one shittalking her dead best friend to her face either like five minutes ago or a day ago depending on how the fuck this is actually supposed to be paced, you fucknaut. None of these girls actually know each other aside from babbling about their shitty backstories and idol in particular is just an asshole. I hate this fucking show lol then... brownie......... dumpers her exposition backstory on us and it's EVEN DUMBER THAN ANYTHING BEFORE, SOMEHOW. naw, she has a huge fucking fuckoff scar all down her back from being...... stabbed, because a knife stabwound is like having your entire spine ripped out, and WE'VE NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS AT ALL, SOMEHOW, OR EVEN GOTTEN A HINT OF IT, and somehow SHE KNEW FROM THE START THAT GOING TO EGGWORL WOULD MAKE HER SCAR HURT LESS BECAUSE IT MAKE U SWONGER, BECAUSE IF SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT FROM THE START AND DIDN'T WANT TO SAVE HER SISTER WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE START GOING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? and then finally eggmang tells us there was no reason for anyone to keep going to the eggworl in the first place, at all, ever, so they can all just give up if they decide they don't care abymore. GREAT, NICE TO KNOW I DEON'T NEED TO CARE ABOUT THAT EITHER, THANKS SHOW, YOU FUCKWIT.

then finally we get back the hair battle that happened..... whothe fuck knows when, it turns out the real monster is the egg girl some fucking how, brownie has a stupid fucking catchpjhrase because fuck you, the monater was actually egg girl's hair actually because that doesn't make any sense either, fuck you. why was this battle chosen as the one to flash back to repeatedly like it's indicative of brownie's storyline somehow? At least gendergirl's exposition battles were related to her dumb fucking issues, this shit's just random.

and then idol girl goes to... buy... the fucking egg...... even though she just said..................... sob eggman 2 tricked them into buying the eggs by saying nthyey didn't need to buy the eggs, some bullshit about teenage rebellion and reverse psychology, like he said "absolutely don't buy the eggs" instead of a wishy-washy "eeeeeeeeeif you want to or not auiehgfgh". why the fuck do they want them to buy the eggs again? and then eggman 1 has this... fucking..... "animation" of it """laughing"""" just by its stupid fucking solid black triangle of a mouth blinking in and out of existence and the artists see fit to put this right smack in the middle of the full screen for a good second so we can look at how good their animation is gsdfhdfhmvf  dtjf f then brownie looks sad or something, because having her reneg(g)e on the backstory and conviction they just exposited to us five seconds ago and didn't actually integrate or develop in the fuckinbg slightest is good writign fck, this shit i'm logging into my anime list and giving this show a 1 out of 10 i'm done

[princephil]

so i was at my friend's wedding and i was sitting there people watching and one of the groomsmen, bryan, came up to me and asked to dance okay now listen,, *corbin blue's voice* i don't dance,, however i wanted a boyfriend, a lesbian beard, if you will, so i jumped up and said "fkekfk sure" so we went to the dance floor (which was poppin btw because my friend is fun as hell) and he was dancing so (s o) close to me and was looking me in the eyes and smiling at me and i ?? hated it ???? (1/lmao??)

(tw: cancer, vomit)

so luckily he got pulled away to take pictures and i was left there with my sister and jon, best man and also male stripper, and i was feeling nauseous,, now i was feeling sick before bryan but i think bryan caused a lot of anxiety plus being on the dance floor and so i went outside and threw up like three times on the steps and i just sat there contemplating my current situation and then jon came out and sat down literally where i threw up but i didn’t tell him bc i’m a bitch (2/lmao??)

so i’m sitting here, and jon on my vomit, and we were talking about everything ever and he was drunk as heck but it was chill so then my sister, who btw thinks she’s literal cupid, with bryan and told me to stop “flirting” with jon so me and bryan sat down but it was too loud to talk so we went up to the roof (v pretty btw it was at a park at night with stars and string lights and overlooking the city wow) and we talked but as we were talking he was about to kiss me and i (3/lmao??)

(putting the rest under the cut because it’s long. i tried to leave it at a cliffhanger bc….the end…i’m just…the plot twist….this dude…..i’M SHOOK. EVERY1 SHOULD READ IT. also my reply is at the end too!!)

and i was trying my best just not to throw up again but anyways the bride and groom were leaving so we had to go down and do sparklers and we got a picture together but then he hugged me like at least twenty times and we got each other’s phone numbers (which i asked for ?????? because i’m socially awkward) and i was so sick like,, the car ride home i had my head out the window like a dog because my fever was so high but we made it home and the second i got home he texted me (4/lmao??)

(ok tumblr is being a dick so i had to retype this) he texted me “hey you looked beautiful tonight but i wish you could go swimming with us”,, me: is sick as hell, has body dysmorphia, doesn’t have swimwear, is 40 minutes away,, no thanks so i said “i’m actually pretty sick rn but we can hang out soon” and he said “i feel like you sister just didn’t want you to go” eh hem ok my sister is my best friend and i had known him for a whole five hours ?? don’t say that shit to me (5/lmao??)

so the next morning he said “good morning beautiful” or some lovey dovey name like that and he asked me when i wanted to hang out so i said a five days from then which was a friday, not too long ?? but he was like “noooo i want to see you like today” and i said “buddy my dude i’m so sick” and he sAid “i’ll hold your hair back if you throw up” i said “umm that’s nice but i don’t want that let’s wait until i’m not throwing up” but after many sleepless anxiety filled nights (6/lmao??)friday hit and although the fever was gone, i was just throwing up from anxiety (aren’t i cute) so i said “i’m still sick :///” and he said “noo pls come we can cuddle and watch all the harry potters” bITCH i’m love hp but not you and i’m don’t wanna cuddle so i said “wow that’s a long time” and he said “yep” ?? so then he suggested he cooked me dinner and i told him i’m vegan and he said “well wtf if you don’t like what i make then you don’t have to eat it” ??? buT it just has to be vEGan (7)

so basically he said that he had cancer (i sound like a bitch but just you wait) and he said that he was in a lot of pain so he went to the hospital and it was appendicitis so he got his appendix taken out so i stayed awake for dis bitch to text me and make sure he was okay and he wanted me to come over while he was recovering from surgery !! i said “mmm you should recover first” so he recovered and i was out dry of excuses but luckily the morning of our date he sent me “so i guess that was (8)

(this is getting so long i’m so sorry djsk) a waste of my time” and i was like “wtf i guess i won’t come over then ??” and he didn’t say anything and it was past the time i was supposed to leave so i just sent him ���ok i guess you were a waste of my time” and i was in the grocery store and he called me like 10 times and texted me like 20 times freaking tf out and i got in my car and read them and he said “that wasn’t for you i fucked up” long story short the date never happened (next is last)

so when we made up we sent each other some dirty snapchats and i was like ?? why am i doing dis but anyways lemme give you a list of why he caused me major anxiety: freaked out about me being vegan, made me feel bad for being sick, made me feel guilty for his mistake, talked shit about me to my sister (that wasn’t smart of him), and lastly here’s the kicker ‼️ LieD about having cANceR ‼️ (found out about that recently),, so yeah that’s why i associate wedding with anxiety :) sorry it was long

??!?!?NDSADSJFSJ I’M SPEECHLESS WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS DUDE I’M JUST….OMG????? LIKE EVERYTHING LEADING UP TO THIS WAS BAD BUT THEN THE LYING ABOUT CANCER PART??!?!?!?! W H A T BRYAN…….WHY ARE U LIKE THIS i seriously still cannot believe…im sitting at my laptop in awe omg thank u for sharing this story this was seriously a wild ride

[burning-waters]

That 21st century Sherlock Holmes fic everyone is watching

this is going to be a Sherlock-hate-stemming-from-unfulfilled-Johnlock rant and im sure most of my small amount of readers doesnt give two craps about this so be glad i learned how to hide text. also some spoilers maybe? carry on with your dashboard if you will. 

(main spoiler is that Johnlock didnt happen onscreen, but im sure tumblr has already made you aware of that.)

but imma rant here a bit because i’ve got nowhere else to do it and no one else to direct it to. also people are still hoping for more episodes that will make Johnlock a thing, but until that happens (if it happens) this is what i have to say about it.

first off im hoping you arent using the word “canon” to refer to anything more than just the BBC Sherlock rendition of these stories, since you cant make Johnlock Holmesian Canon because ACD never explicitly made it a thing. (as of now ACD Canon will be written so and BBC canon will be written so).

Mofftiss were all about trying to put a twist to the original stories but still keep the basics intact. sure they took their own spin on things, particularly with season 4 ep 3, but im glad they tried keeping to Canon and that they made references to it. they address many different things, like The Woman, three-continents Watson, Mrs Hudson’s missing husband, G. Lestrade and so many other loose ends that ACD didnt give a flying fuck about because he wanted Sherlock dead. fans were the ones that literally brought him back from the grave.

there was also the fact that at the time ACD wrote the stories, bromances were more commonly accepted (i dont see any old newspaper clippings being outraged with their relationship as being unbiblical so im kinda assuming). people can yell from any rooftop they want that the fact that Holmes and Watson -- in Canon -- go out for a walk “arm in arm” or that Holmes tells Watson at one point “quick, man, if you love me!” and Watson does what he asks, or that Holmes is ready to kill a man for (possibly) maiming Watson means that they are gay for each other, but that doesnt mean its true. you can argue that it is exactly what that means until you turn blue, and i will argue that it is exactly what it doesnt mean until i die too. 

if Canon is why Moftiss didnt feel like they should make it canon -- because they saw that this was a time period thing and nothing more -- then let them have it. no need to get red-to-the-face upset at them for not using this opportunity to give the LGBT community some representation. they never promised you that (pretty sure like they promised the opposite), the show was never about romance, and you can find that elsewhere. you can argue that they did queerbaiting (hell the originals have queerbaiting too if you read it in this generation), and they might as well be if you want to look at it like that, but these men are professional trolls. bad analogy: i could complain about them baiting us about Moriarty being dead or alive until the bitter end but that doesnt change what happened. again, profound apologies that it is an awful analogy because a character’s state of being is not on the same level as queerbaiting, but it proves my point: these men are trolls and we knew it from the start. some people probably kept watching because they hoped for a glimpse of Moriarty, with the cliff-hanger and all. but i wasnt caught off guard about the resolution of that loose end, just like i wasnt caught off guard with the fact that they never made Johnlock a thing. im thinking thats because i read the books and i had enough faith in Mofftiss to hope that they would do the right thing and respect the stories. 

now, did they possibly throw in subtext and Arty cliffhangers in there for the sake of baiting fans? heck yeah they probably did. the first like 10 minutes of TEH was all about pretty much mocking the fans in a loving way and then still making people question the solution they did give at the end of the episode. people are upset about that one too. did the final montage of Sherlock do that with all the ships? heck yeah. Johnlock was an open door, Sherlolly was an open door, even Mystrade was! MorMor was never rejected either, people. come on. 

if they didnt ship Sherlock with anyone in the end, it might be because they dont want to lose fans and so left all ships open for interpretation. most of all i think they wanted to keep Canon intact, and so they didnt mess with that friendship or with Sherlock’s sexuality -- i personally think if anything he is ace, from the stories themselves, but i digress. i commend them for leaving all of that open. theyre douchebags, i get it. but if you hate a show because of that, then you werent watching it for the show. you were watching it hoping it would become a romance, when in reality all it ever was advertised as was a crime show. 

if you want to watch a rendition of Sherlock Holmes where the stories are defenestrated and anything goes, have fun with Elementary -- they are lots of fun to watch if you imagine its pure fanfic, cus those writers didnt give much of a flying fuck for the stories. again, i feel like Mofftiss felt like finally doing their own thing and tying all loose ends their own way with the latest episode, but i feel like at this point they had the right to. they created enough of their own canon loose ends. by resolving those, they made me feel deeply for characters that never existed in Canon. and they made me appreciate old characters even more.

i will also say that people have been shipping Holmes and Watson since the dawn of time. Johnlock isnt a new 21st century thing. it’s been there. for FOREVER (dont quote me on that). and what have people done about it? wrote fanfic. write a tv show that will give you the representation you think you deserve. or find one that already does that.

but please don’t hate. Moftiss can be dicks at times, im not denying it. they have reacted poorly towards fans before. but its their story, not yours. a little respect would be nice. they respected ACD and still managed to do their own thing -- BBC Sherlock is literally nothing more than their Sherlock fanfic put to television and shared with the world. they just happen to be making money off their fic. 

no one is hating on your fic. dont hate on theirs.  

P. S. also, please, if you want to hate on them for season 4 (i want to hate on them for season 3), do it because of bad storytelling, plot holes, and loose ends, and mostly for making that episode the love child of Saw and Bond. i was not prepared for that. i’m at peace with it, i think -- it was brilliant, it was awful, and it was everything in between. what they promised us as good writers was to not make those mistakes that i mentioned above that you can hate them for. (i for one am all about suspension of disbelief and enjoying the ride for what it is. but like, seriously, how often do TWO genius kids come from one family???).

P. P. S. Jeremy Brett will always be my fav (sorryBennynotsry).