#im going to kill myself i'm going to kill myself i'm going to kill myself im going to kill myself. because i guess i always thought if i did

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Hello! Another day, another chapter!

I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).

let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.

Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!

It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65

RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66

MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67

Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68

I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68

i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70

this keeps getting worse LMAO

OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72

oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72

wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72

so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73

Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74

PLEASE OH NO

I AM WHEEZING

+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76

IM DYING OH NO

WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????

oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79

Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80

Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81

What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83

Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85

Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87

reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87

It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90

OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94

SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95

Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97

YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99

Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100

Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103

I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104

I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108

MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50

How many times does this man get kidnapped?

We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)

[briankang]

BANG CHAN 🍭 ATE

[sleepnoises]

today i volunteered at a historic home gut rehab the local habitat for humanity is doing and got to scooch around in the crawlspace and cut bits of wood and use a nailgun. at one point the Head Guy asked if i knew how to use a table saw and i said "yes but not with confidence" and actually? i do know how to use a table saw with confidence. but confidence that the table saw hates its users and thirsts for blood

[mewtwo24]

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

[normalenjoyer-png]

aauaguagahahgghhhh i keep thinking of situations to put them in

[rapidhighway]

stressed

I have to fight family again

[supjello]

"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."

[synthshenanigans]

BRO

Im crying

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[the-acid-pear]

Okay but. Isn't main character and certified good guy Hank hating androids such a deranged plot beat? I mean bc the whole game is trying to set up this objectively bad parallel between androids and real life ethnic segregation (which is so insane bc androids are actually manmade objects who genuinely don't feel emotions unless caused for a glitch like you cannot compare real minorities to that David Cage you need to be put down like a rabid dog) so him like. Having a much of stickers going FUCK ANDROIDS is like, so fucking awful? The whole framing too like Connor, an Android and in this case a minority, having to give up on his very own responsibilities just to look after and make this guy who is constantly physically violent like him otherwise he's a bad guy for it? Like I know Hank plays up his hate way more than he really feels but with this very obvious allegory it just becomes so uncomfortable that this is the good guy (tm). Like I love Hank this isn't against Hank this is against Cage and whoever let him write this too like Jesus Christ man.

[jacksprostate]

ok look getting paid to do all the stupid little trainings from the comfort of my own home is super cool and leagues better than my prior work environments however the only thing worse than those stupid trainings is NOT having those stupid trainings to do, having nothing to do, and sitting here twiddling my thumbs and pretending i should be paid for this. i am going to deglove my arms

[verved]

I was gonna wait to share my full thoughts on Iguazu until I finish ng++ but so far I just... empathize w him??? I really don't see why people hate him or think his anger is irrational, especially after getting through ng+. I mean yeah, you're a mercenary, he's a corporate pawn, and you both know that in your line of work you can't take things personally and the concept of honor is absolute stupidity.

Still, how do you not have beef with someone who turns on you mid mission, kicks your shit in, wrecks your ac, and the utter loss results in your commander and one friend insulting you after the fact? especially if your life is already as shit as his is.

and then later on when he comes across you by chance and wants a rematch, you can do him so dirty there too. he tells you to stop fighting and fend off the other enemies so you can get back to beating the shit out of each other but you literally can just. ignore that. and attack him while he's doing his best to fend off the others. that's so rude.

like yeah no point in playing nice when you're a merc and he should know that. but he isn't there by choice. he didn't go into this line of work willfully so I can't blame him for not having the same emotional detachment some other characters do. Most others see it all as just business, or have personal motives that drive them to keep going. But Iguazu? He's just some guy who made bad life choices and now he's sent to die on the front lines every day to pay off a debt.

Not to mention that Volta just fucking died too and I'm sure he's processing the death of his singular friend real well.

Tbh he has every right to be a little unhinged.

[littlegalerion]

I'm well aware of the whole Gortash X Dark Urge ship, and the little bits in game that kinda hint there maybe was something between them before the Dark Urge was slain.

So uh, why does this look like Moon just brought Gortash to court for child abuse allegations against their daughter, Karlach?

Bonus: Gale being a supportive step-father

[cowardlycowboys]

“Slut your wrists! Kill yourself! then you post a selfie saying “Don’t want to smile feel weird about it” as a desperate attempt to get compliments. You’re in your mid twenties doing all this😭 Grow up you’re not a teenager anymore. 30 is closer than ever and you’re breaking down because someone asked if you cry a lot? Someone mentions your jowls and you freak out. You tell them to kill themselves. People your age are Mothers. You might not have any but act your age. Geez.

my dick must taste fantastic for how far you're throating it

[archerofunspeakablelove]

Finished Russian Roulette. Feeling sick again

[rapidhighway]

Hnngg