oh my god, "It hurts to remember, my head isn't built for that / I know do it anyway" Crowley has probably tortured himself with trying to recall his memories as an angel with Aziraphale, that's why he resists the idea so much "I'm a demon, i'm not nice," / "I'm not the angel you knew" so when Aziraphale is asking him to be together as angels again, he's asking Crowley to be something he has no recollection of.
thinking about how charlie never saw through the filter until right before he died. thinking about how he was never allowed to see anything until the very end of his life. thinking about how sneeg and ranboo both had their moments where they saw everything and almost escaped at the end but not charlie. thinking about how charlie never even got near escaping or even an open exit. thinking about how charlies entire world came crashing down on him and how he couldnt even fully process it before getting attacked. thinking about how he was yelling at ranboo to go to the button instead of asking for help. thinking about how he was just screaming when ranboo was tearing into him instead of trying to stop them.