Tumgik
#im gonna get turnt by midnight (by turnt i mean eat a lot)
54prowl · 1 year
Text
ok mutuals and followers, line up
new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss new year kiss
35K notes · View notes
So....it was my friend’s 21st birthday party last night...
- I got there and Raychel was immediately like “Molly are you planning on drinking?” and I was like “Yes duh” and she, deep-voiced, goes “Good. You deserve it. You deserve the world and I deserve to see you get it”
- I forgot that I hate chocolate vodka and got a spiked milkshake at the restaurant
- People were just. screaming about anime. Everyone else in the place must have hated us
- “the asshole is my enemy and needs to be punished.”
- “So...my girlfriend like, bought chloroform?” “Have fun with that.”
- I literally forgot to get her a present whoops
- birthday girl, on her third drink: “Listen I know we’re going  back to my house to drink after this but don’t worry!!! I’m not gonna get that drunk tonight, it won’t be bad”
- l m a o
- we get to her house, immediately start doing shots. I hadn’t touched anything yet bc there was a bottle of electric blue shit and I knew damn well that was going into my body but I was told to wait until people got back with sodas for mixers
- but this guy Patrick who I went all thru grade school with goes “Molly, you’re a real man”, hands me a bottle of whiskey and was like “I feel like my entire childhood was leading up to drinking whiskey with you” and honestly I couldn’t argue??? I felt that way too
- a wholesome experience I'm sure all of our old teachers would be so proud to see us finally bonding and getting along lmao
- Jacqui wanted some whiskey and we’re like “you had two margarita’s at the restaurant maybe not” but she didn’t listen and after she took a shot I had to hide the bottle from her to stop her from having any more lol
- Jacqui, drunk “Mollllly you’re my wiiiiife!”
- Raychel (bd girl) also drunk, across the room “But she’s my alpha husband what the fuck!!!!”
- I was not fucking looking when Raychel’s drink was mixed but it was like. Emerald fucking green. I know it had the sour apple shit vodka in it but idk what else. And then they added food dye and cake glitter so it turned into a galaxy drink holy shit
- Jacqui mixed the blue stuff with sprite and I took a sip and it tasted amazing??? So then I poured my own and I don’t know if I used too much alcohol or too much soda but it tasted like draino I literally had a brief Heather Chandler moment
- Kept drinking it but that’s besides the point
- Now, we need to talk about my alcohol tolerance. It’s high. It’s strong.
- So almost everyone else was drunk out of their asses and I’m sitting there like???? What the fuck???? I want to be intoxicated???? This is hell???? Like at this point I had to have had??? A total six or so shots of vodka and the whiskey and I was FINE and mad about that lmao
- That’s my thing it takes me forever to get drunk and then I get really drunk and blessedly never have hangovers so I can’t really complain I guess?
- But when this happens the logical next step is to drink more lmao Raychel started insisting I share her ridiculous drink with her
- That thing....tasted like everything Jesus died to save us from.
- Also I think I ended up drinking more of it than she did lmao
- Pocket full of sunshine started playing and half the room got turnt while the other half watched in confusion
- I kept trying to take selfies with Raychel and in ever one??? She looks inhumanely gorgeous???? And I look like a goblin???? What the fuck
- At this point I was finally getting drunk so Raychel gave me her phone going “you have my favorite face in the world take so many selfies for me!!!” and....bitch I did. I had that phone for about three hours, barely put it down, loved every single one of my angles for the first time in my life, and I honestly do not know how many selfies of me she’s going to find later lmao
- “I once made an art piece out of my pubic hair but like I lost it in someone’s apartment”
- Garrett, who’s apparently never drank before, whisper-yelling in horror “I took a lot of shots....On purpose!!!! ....I’m sorry,”
- He got very wasted very fast and then went upstairs to sleep lmao
- Raychel started crying telling me I was pretty and I was like “Thanks but you do this when you’re sober so I don’t believe you??” and then her friend who barely talks to me comes over and is like “Honey listen I’m the least drunk person her and you’re gorgeous” and it eventually spiraled into “Molly, CHRISTINA AGUILERA thinks she’s ugly. Lady GaGa- BRITTNEY SPEARS CLEARLY HAS SELF ESTEEM ISSUES EVEN THO SHES A FUCKING SEX ICON. So you’re- OH my God!!! Adam Lambert probably thinks he’s the ugliest fucker in the world!!!!! So you’re beautiful!!!!” and like honestly? Feeling good rn
- To counter this I spent like half the night telling Patrick’s shy and quiet girlfriend Maura that she was the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t leave this poor girl alone she was adorable omfg
- Raychel, the one who ‘wasn’t going to get that drunk’: *spinning wildly, holding 13 conversations at once, constantly yelling about the pubic bone and the vulva, crying about plastic babies in a glitter tube*
- UPDATE AS IM TYPING THIS: Raychel has announced that she found a total of 438 pictures and videos on her phone OH MY GOD @PAST ME
- And that’s only on her phone I got a lot on my phone too and other people had cameras out lord knows how many were taken
- So when I’m drunk I feel a little lightheaded but ultimately fine until I like move a limb and it’s like ‘holy shit my head isn’t connect to my body’ like. so fucking dizzy. At one point I stood and was like ‘who wants to bet I can’t walk to the bathroom’ and someone decided to walk me there lmao
- Someone made glitter bombs out of eggs and we threw them in the street while angrily screaming things like “I LOVE MY FAMILY!” and “WHY DOES EVERY ACTUALLY NICE GUY I MEET HAVE A SMALL DICK!”
- Raychel gave me a tiny ball of clay and I really treasured it but then it broke apart I was so sad
- “Burt Macklin is a fucking bitch!” “Don’t talk to the kitten that way he’s the prettiest cat I’ve ever seen!”
- Jacqui got a slice of cake and then remembered she cannot eat when she’s drunk so I ended up eating. just a lot of cake
- My Little Pony songs were playing on the tv???? I’m still not sure how that got started
- Screaming about Alaska Thunderfuck
- I bet Patrick he’d be the first to puke but he left and I think I threw up in the bathroom???? I’m not 100% positive I did but the fact that I have doubt means he wins unfortunately
- There was one guy there I don’t think I actually got his name but he gave me a great hug when he was leaving. You know when like a bird lands on you and you feel like you’re special and have been chosen???? That’s what the hug felt like lmao
- Someone pulled buffalo chicken dip out of thin air which is my weakness and she told me to have some but like. I put one dipped chip in my mouth and knew it was a mistake. I felt it in my stomach. I hadn’t even fucking swallowed yet it was literally just in my mouth and my body was like ‘bitch can you take a break and let me live!’ omfg
- Since Raychel finally dumped her boyfriend I had no qualms about telling her I didn’t like him and she asked why and I was like “he tried to mansplain Greek mythology to me and he wasn’t even right!!!” and for some reason that made at least five people loose it.
- At the stroke of midnight, Raychel, pointing to the crucifix in the living room. “JESUS....HE’S HERE. HE’S ALIVE.”
- At some point I apparently started drunk texting a few of my friend’s that weren’t there w h o o p s
- Me, trying to explain myself to them this morning “You know, that Easter wine just really gets to me”
- I was stuck in the ‘coming down’ stage for like a million years. Like, still clearly drunk but Not As Bad
- And I was trying to get better before I texted my mother for a ride so like. I spent so long chugging water. I literally don’t think I've ever had that much water in my entire life. Raychel’s father and sister kept getting it for me as I continuously told them they were life savers. But it barely helped omfg
- Was definitely still a little wobbly when I woke up for water at like 6:30 but all good now and the hangover skipped over my soul @my genetic makeup bless you
- Fun night though!!! But now I’m off to an Easter family party so...we’ll see how that goes lol
218 notes · View notes
crystallinetides · 7 years
Text
So I was tagged by @just-plain-aiden to do a tag thingy!!! I don't really care about the rules but I love these things so I'mma do it anyway
LAST:
[1] drink: water, bc I'm basic like that
2] phone call: like, one I answered? shit man, idk. The most recent call to my phone was for a bill tho
[3] text message: My Tumblr auth code
[4] song you listened to: "Tous les Memes" by Stromae (the last English song I listened to was "Guillotine"...)
[5] time you cried: not recently enough my friend
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: yes, bad idea, 0/10 would not recommend
[7] been cheated on: .... no?
[8] kissed someone and regretted it:  yeah x.x
[9] lost someone special: yeah, my grandmother
[10] been depressed: it's p much a constant thing now???
11] gotten drunk and thrown up: it is not fun
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] blue!!!!!!
[13] purple
[14] mint! (that weird green/blue bullshit color)
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends:  oui
[16] fallen out of love: DAMN RIGHT, FUCKIN FREEEEEEE
[17] laughed until you cried: yes. actually I think that has happened more recently than actual crying
[18] found out someone was talking about you: idk???
[19] met someone who changed you: I don't think so?
20] found out who your true friends are: already knew, bruh
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes, actually
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like... all of them? I think that maybe 2% of my friends I don't actually know
[23] do you have any pets: three dogs, Charlie, Taz, and Flea Biscuit; three cats, Ivory, Tubbs, and Spooky
[24] do you want to change your name: nah. I use Crys online, that's good enough for me. although I went through a phase where I REALLY wanted to change my last name bc it's gross 
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: GOT TURNT and by turnt I mean I had a single drink at dinner and that's about it OH I WENT ICE SKATING
[26] what time did you wake up: WHOO BOY I have not slept since I woke up at 7AM Friday morning (it is currently 12:29AM Sunday...)
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was at work!
[28] name something you cannot wait for: part of me wants to say the Sweet Embrace of Death but I'm really just ready to go to medical school like fuck this
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Thursday??? I think???
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my propensity for procrastination
[31] what are you listening to right now: the various beeps of a hospital (Guillotine is stuck in my head on repeat)
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... I don't think I have
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my roots showing through the hair dye
[34] most visited website: this hellhole of a website (I use Instagram a lot more now???)
[35] elementary: I am unsure of the question??? Did I go to elementary school, is that the question? I assume so. Yes, I did. I loved it.
[36] high school: literally fuck high school
[37] college: GRADUATING THIS YEAR BRUH
[38] hair color: dark brown with red, but right now it's bright ass pink
[39] long or short hair: I got short hair bruh, easier to deal with
[40] do you have a crush on someone: nah, relationships scare me rn
[41] what do you like about yourself?: my eye color??? my ear for tone???
[42] piercings: I have two holes in each ear lobe and one in my cartilage
[43] blood type: A positive!
[44] nickname: Crys on here, but irl it's Brie like the goddamn cheese
[45] relationship status: single Pringle
[46] zodiac sign: Aquarius~
[47] pronouns: she/her
[48] fav tv show: this is not a fair question bc it changes; I am currently in Voltron hell, but FMA: B will always be my Number One anime
[49] tattoos: lmao I have five; one that is half of the phrase "Together forever, never apart; maybe in distance, but never in heart" (my sister has the first half, I have the second); the second is a watercolor style pink ribbon; the third is a Celtic knot for sisterhood; the fourth is a tree of life with a DNA trunk and birds in it; the fifth is a line from "Iridescent" by Linkin Park. I also have a teeny star on the inside of my wrist
oh lol and I have a plan to get two more in April at least
[50] right or left handed: right handed, but I play saxophone and am learning to play guitar and that's basically like being ambidextrous right
FIRST…
[51] surgery: wisdom teeth removal!
[52] piercing: my ears when I was like 7
[53] best friend : a girl in 1st grade that I don't talk to anymore
[54] sport: marching band bro. fight me
[55] vacation: Florida for family visits; my first out of country visit was Mexico
[56] pair of trainers: ... like, sneakers? shit man idk that was so long ago
RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: nothing, unfortunately. might heat up some pizza.
[58] drinking: water
[59] i’m about to: actually focus on my job 
60] listening to: nothing
[61] waiting for: a chance to sleep properly, I am so tired 
[62] want: sleep for a week and binge watch anime
[63] get married: I am nowhere near ready for that. maybe???
64] career: Im gonna be some sort of surgeon. thinking orthopedic.
WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: hugs. give me all the cuddles.
[66] lips or eyes: eyes.
[67] shorter or taller: I prefer taller
[68] older or younger: I don't really care???
[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic. I need structure in my life
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms, I think.
[71] sensitive or loud: ???? I have no clue
[72] hook up or relationship: at this point, neither. but if I had to choose, hookup. relationships are scary
73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. think that shit through
HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? nah
[75] drank hard liquor? lmao its pretty much all I drink
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? so many contacts have been lost to the Void
[77] turned someone down: yup
[78] sex on first date? definitely not for me
[79] broken someone’s heart? depends on who you ask
[80] had your own heart broken? yeah, wont make that mistake again
81] been arrested? no but I have had a parking ticket, I'm so awful I know
[82] cried when someone died? yup
[83] fallen for a friend: yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? I WILL BECOME HOKAGE (genuinely idk)
[85] miracles? okay the fact that we exist at all and can mount an immune response to literally any organic molecule is a miracle and I will fight anyone who says otherwise
[86] love at first sight? nah
[87] santa claus? hes clearly real 
[88] kiss on the first date? if you like em, why not???
[89] angels? .... meeehhh TECHNICALLY yes bc im hard polytheist....
OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: Mikaela and Erin <3
[91] eye colour: grey!!! fuck u theyre not blue or green
[92] favourite movie: Spirited Away probably
wow this took longer than expected
anyway now you know how lame I am even tho only ONE of you asked <3
if you do this, send me a link bc I'm nosy
2 notes · View notes