#im gonna tag this as mature just in case

[batfleckgifs]

Can Man of Steel 2 be Clark and Bruce had a one night stand and whole movie is just them trying to figure out who came in who?

[kabukiaku]

YOUR ALPHAMEGA PIECE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I ACTUALLY ADORE SEEING THE SMALLER PARTNER TOP FOR ONCE AND GIVING OMEGA THE RAILING HE DESERVES :))

YO THANKS! i admit it's more thrilling to see the stoic/bigger partner be flustered and on the receiving end. omega is my pookie <3

same goes for terzomega. it's just more fun to break the 'norm' or stereotypes in size difference ships you know? especially with terzo being a human, a bold one that is, he knows how to please his ghoul.

[water-beats-earthbender]

Oh I'm sure there's some reason aang can't just energybend Willy-nilly. It's draining, there's some sort of consequence, etc, etc, I DONT CARE it wasn't established in cannon and despite what we're supposed to think aang is still very much an immature kid and would probably try energybending some airbenders into existence

[frogchiro]

hi me again i know its not eremites but my brain has been HAAAUUNNNNTEEED by omegaverse and COD i just know for a fact Ghost n Price share a role as "leader" of the pack, more Price than Ghost (warrior cat brain: DEPUTY GHOST *WACK*) and yes the entire pack takes care of their sweet omega but they feel the most weight of keeping her happy n healthy :<< Ughehrgrgrgrr Ghost is a silent lover, (this can really apply for annnnnyy au im just barfing my brain out here) brushing your hair out of your face as you sleep, cheek smooshed against your pillow. Oh my god you know that man would invest in silk pillow cases if you mentioned that silk is better for your skin n hair. That one stuffie you can't seem to sleep without, it never seems to get dirty, you don't think much of it. That's cause Ghost brushes it out for you, making sure theres no limp neck syndrome either (basically the fluff gets separated from body n head leaving none for neck) mention that you like a certain snack? or found a childhood snack you had but could never find after a certain point? at least 5 of them in the cupboard, 2 if they come in big packs.

John loves to spend time together with his sweet girl, he doesnt often have the time for it but when he does he loves to savour it. Loves Loves Loves being able to have you on his lap, a cigar in one hand, the other on your waist and a whiskey on the table next to his recliner. Memorizes your routine, if you have somewhere to be that you have to wake up for, he wakes you up, very gently. Kisses against your shoulder, traveling to your face. Kissing your cheek before turning you onto your back, just admires your relaxed face before he whispers your name. ASS!! GRABBER!!! grabs your ass, sure here n there he'll greet you with a gentle spank but he. grabs. ASS. He memorizes your coffee order too!! He may tease you a bit if it something like, 80% cream, 12% sugar and 8% coffee but still. sniffle snorgle so sorry for the long ask snifhghgrngr i love them. and i LOVE your blog, been following for a super long time, found you from pierro tags and just been obsessed. Take care of yourself okay?? MWAH (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

AHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS DARLING *MWUAH* I'm really glad you like my humble little blog so much and stick around for such a long time <3

I'm gonna go with omegaverse with these again bc I'm obsessed :<

And yes yes you're right!! Alpha Si is a silent lover but he's so expressive when he wants to be! If you're close enough you'll see all the little things; ticks, micro expressions even with the balaclava and/or mask, the little noises like chuffs or rumbles, everything! It's like a whole new world opens up and that's when makes being mated to Ghost beautiful <3

And he can be surprisingly clingy and touchy too! Definitely not right from the start but give him time and soon you'll have a 6'3 baby clinging onto you. What he may lack in verbal communication he compensates with physical affection and little noises; he will literally purr like an engine and make little chirrups in answer to your own as you nuzzle and preen each other in your nest.

Another thing about him are his surprisingly strong nesting instincts! He never really got to make a nest, or rather felt safe enough to do it. With his past, his father who always mocked him for nesting it never felt right until he got with you. Will take up the whole bed and literally roll in it so it's covered with his scent and pheromones and let out a pleased rumble when he finally deems his den good enough and safe before dumping you in it <3

Alpha!Price on the other hand loves quality time spent with you <3 He's much more verbal with you than Si and is quite touch himself in the privacy of his office or den, will always try and keep a hand on you and never let you out of his sight. He's the oldest of the alphas, much more mature and secure in his position as head alpha but will bellow and growl like crazy if he went out for a second out of the den to check up on something and upon returning he notices that you're not there anymore only for you to return from the bathroom confused what's all the commotion about.

Would never admit it out loud but he loves loves loves scenting you! Especially if you're on base with him. John has a strong masculine smell that screams 'ALPHA' in the most pleasant way; will make you go weak in the knees just from a whiff <3

Likes to rub on you when you're laying in your nest at night, his face shoved right into your scent glands and your delighted giggles bring him immense joy as he tickles you with his beard <3

[bug-eyed-bum1234]

🦢Twitter Snooper 🦢 (Fem! Y/N/Tim Klitz) (1/?)

Word count: 837 (I know its short! Sry!)

Tags: Mature, profanity, overall pervy-ness from Eli, no actual use of Y/N, reader works for Onlyfans, fairly tame!(so far...)

"Hey guys!! Merry Christmas! I bought a set just for this season. I hope you all enjoy <3" The caption read. You were posed in a cheeky, lace lingerie set with green and red accents. You had been posting on twitter ever since you turned 18. You caught many peoples attention quickly, and it helped you realize a path you hadn't thought of until then. OnlyFans.

Twitter would be the perfect place to advertise it, and you would be making money off of something you already enjoyed doing.

That's how everything started. Klitz’s eyes shot open, mouth hung, pupils darting from Eli to Matt.

“Hey Klitz, you good man?” Eli chortled, eyebrows askew. “Yeah you seem a little shook up” Matt agreed.

“Yeah I’m fine! Just another stupid thing Elon is doing.” He wittily replied, coming up with a lie as fast as he could. Eli was the one who suggested to scroll Twitter when he got bored of the porn tapes he “studied” for film school.Klitz’ s eyes shot open, mouth hung, pupils darting from Eli to Matt. Klitz agreed just to get himself away from watching it with his friends on a big screen, at least this way he could have a little bit of privacy. That is when he came across your picture. He didn’t even recognize you until he opened up the picture fully just to see your face greeting him.

“Hey, I’m gonna go get a drink, want anything?” He timidly questioned the tripod.

“Yeah just a Dr. Pepper.”

He shifted his way towards the kitchen. Phone still open in his hand, hidden against the cloth of his khakis. He opened the fridge door, a little more security between him and the living room. He lifted his phone, opening your profile. He inspected your bio, profile picture, and even your banner just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Your profile pic was you with a soft, pink filter wearing a bikini top with pastel, heart shaped cups. Your banner was a pattern of those candy hearts with phrases like “Lick me” and “Cutie”.

Your bio simply said: “Miss me! Miss me! Now you gotta kiss me! ~<3”

He stood there trembling, feeling so hot even in the cooling air of the open refrigerator. He imbedded your username into his memory, taking a screenshot just in case. He grabbed the drinks and headed towards the living room.

• • •

Klitz’ s phone buzzed. At first, just a quick *bzzzt* then silence, he decided to ignore it when suddenly the buzzing became rapid. Klitz gave in and opened his phone, greeted with Eli’s name sprawled across his screen a numerous amount of times. He opened the text.

(Eli:) Dude “something with Elon”??? Bullshit. What good shit did you find??

(Eli:) Im being dead serious dude, what did you find??

(Eli:) Istg answer me dumb fuck

(Eli:) wait, was it someONE?????

(Eli:) OH MY GOD DUDE WHO WAS ON TWITTER?

(Eli:) ARE THEY INTO YOU? ARE YOU GOING TO FINALLY NOT BE PUSSYLESS KLITZ???

(Eli:) wait. No i cant lose my virginity after YOU. Im coming over.

(Klitz:) First of all, no girl was hitting on me. Second of all, dont come over. Im studying and dont need more of a distraction than you are already providing me. Third of all, Its my phone, my business, my shit. See you at school tomorrow.

Right as he hit send, the “bing” was accompanied by the “ding-dong” of the doorbell.

He opened the door to a playfully aggressive Eli and perplexed Matt. Eli pushed Klitz into the living room and onto the couch, spewing out ridiculous accusations along the way.

“You can’t lose your virginity first, that’s not happening, I’m not going to let that happen!” Eli spat, pacing the room, punctuating the sentence with pointedly wagged fingers towards Klitz.

Matt’s ears perked up.

“Wait, Klitz do you have a girlfriend?” He interjected between the interrogation scene.

“Guys, no. I don’t have a girlfriend, no one is hitting on me, I’m no where close to losing my virginity soon! Leave me alone Eli, and check your texts, geez.”

Klitz put his hands up in defense and defeat.

Eli’s eyebrow quirked up.

“You still haven’t answered if you saw anyone you recognized.” He prodded.

The room fell silent then erupted with wise words from Eli.

“So you did see some puss!” He whisper shouted while scrunching Klitz’s shirt, shaking him about on the couch.

“Ok! Ok! I will make a deal with you. If you leave right now and don’t blow up my phone, I will tell you at school. Deal?”

Klitz bargained with the horndog, which was immediately accepted with full enthusiasm as a hand came down to Klitz’s, shaking it jarringly.

“Deal!” He exclaimed with immense force. He quickly hurried Matt and himself out of the house, feeling as if they got out fast, the truth would get to him faster.

Klitz flopped sideways on the couch with a sigh. He opened his phone and into his twitter.

He had a lot of “studying” to catch up on.

Authors note: This was supposed to be posted around christmas, sorry it's so late! This is just one chapter! Im not sure how long the series will go on. I hope you enjoy! :)

[actuallyitsstar]

oh my god tumblr is not a functional website and it ate my next two drafted asks so prepare to get tagged in textposts but @brambleberrycottage sent The Mentalist and/or Person of Interest for the fandom ask game:

✨ send me a fandom and i'll answer with the following!

for person of interest:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ very tough choice but i am gonna have to go with shaw for this one. my second choice probably would be reese tho- but i have to go by what ao3 tags i filter the most 😭

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ BEAR THE DOG.....OBVIOUSLY....... akjdhdjfhf but for real it is probably finch. finch rly is So Shaped to me. i do not want anything bad to happen to him Ever. Protect At All Costs

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ FUSCO. FUSCO IS SUCH AN UNDERRATED FAVE. theres like 10 fics out there about my man fusco and ive reread all of them 100 times aldjfkfhjfgjgj this man just shows up to work every day and tries his best and he gets dragged into some of the craziest world-altering conspiracies known to man and for what ??? he just wants to come home to his son every day. but he cares about people and his friends and the world his son grows up IN, and thats why he sticks by the others no matter what he gets put thru. also he is just very funny and relatable at times akdhdjfhf

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ harper!!! very much obscure but she has a cute lil arc that feels Meaningful and has such a fun energy and she has such an ~ outcome ~ (i will not spoil in case anyone who has not seen this show is thinking of seeing it) and tbh i want to learn everything about her

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ elias. he is very problematic. very controversial. horrible villain crimelord etc etc. but isnt it interesting how this show plays with morality? how much nuance there is? how you slowly learn that finch is right- that there are no heroes or villains, just people doing the best they can??? elias is a terrible person that you would never want to meet in real life but hes MY terrible person you would never want to meet in real life.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ this is reese hands down. sorry not sorry to the traumatized man but i do kind of enjoy you getting more traumatized

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ i guess john greer ???? im not sorry, forget everything i said about nuance hes a villain akdhfdjkfhfj he is the worst im joking but if i have to pick anyone its him

for the mentalist:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ its jane. of course its jane. what we have learned about me is i am always stanning traumatized over confident (often middle aged middle aged) men in problematic career paths with emotional issues 😭 its embarrassing how consistent i rly am tbh lmao. but HES SO INTERESTING. HES SO TRAGIC. HES SO MULTIFACETED. i could probably write 600 dissertations about him

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ lisbon is my girl i love her so much i will not take any notes on this she is MY five foot nothing cop with anger management issues and i WOULD die for her. shes probably my height irl but she is !!!! small. i love her

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ cho is so underrated !!!!! he is there from start to finish and he gets his own arcs and his own story and he's level-headed and in charge but he's not emotionless and he's not perfect, he's very good at what he does but he makes mistakes too and he's mature enough to own up to them. his realism and commitment is bracing and reliable and brings such a steady element to the show. couldnt do it without him!!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ she's really not even on screen for more than like 0.1 seconds of flashback but !!! ANGELA JANE. i know we don't get to know much in the way of cannonical characterization but i have read a lot of fics about her. i think the most influential has to be boy wonder, which is a wonderful how-angela-and-young-patrick-met fic unfortunately trapped on the horrible formatting of fanfiction dot net, but every time i think of angela i think of this fic and it very deeply informed my love for her character.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ probably laroche. deeply weird man but he just wanted to go home to his little figurines and his fluffy dog. what more could he ask for. very creepy vibe but he did his job well and he came around in the end. i would love to know what sort of life made this man happen. i think about the iconic theater episode with him every day.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ aaaaa once again its jane im so sorry sir i just find your trauma entertaining !!!!!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ probably bertram because i just think he was way scarier than the sherriff sorry sljfkfjfjg

[monstersinthecosmos]

LOL IM SUPER UPSET AS WELL but also thanks so much. maybe i just internalized all the little clues without realizing (thanks ADHD) but thats the timeline my daydreaming brain has been working with lol and god there's just so much FLAVOR. i really like the play on how keith's grown up but in some ways still an angry kid and shiro's this leader figure yet still so young and even boyish. but funnily enough i was just thinking today if we're gonna see shiro getting topped in ttsr! LOL bb deserves it

IT'S REALLY SUCH A GREAT FLAVOR, RIGHT? And I don't mean that about my own fic LOL I mean about them in canon dshjgkasdj. And I think like, of all the things they fucked up, especially with S8, the one thing that I think stuck the landing SO well was Keith's character arc as he became mature and was able to handle the responsibility of being a leader. It's just a really great ship dynamic that you have like, the smol angry one who's a loose canon x the mature older one who carries a tremendous burden to be in charge but is actually so traumatized and vulnerable. And like, you'd think Keith would need to be rescued more but Shiro is actually sort of a damsel sometimes!!!!!! And Keith is the one saving him! Stubbornly refusing to live in a world without Shiro!

ANYWAY I've had this story pretty carefully plotted & outlined since I started it and I've always tried to keep it close to the chest and I never wanted to reveal too much before it gets dropped into the text (for example, tagging as I go and not mentioning the alien bio stuff until it came up even though I knew the whole time 🥸) BUT ALSO I FEEL TERRIBLE THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IT IN ALMOST TWO YEARS!!!!! I'M REALLY SORRY HONESTLY, I'VE NEVER GIVEN UP ON THIS FIC, I JUST GOT SO BOGGED DOWN WITH OTHER PROJECTS AND LIKE THE CHAPTERS TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME THAT EVEN WHEN I'M ACTIVELY WORKING ON IT SOMETIMES THE CHAPTERS TAKE MONTHS TO WRITE. CHAPTER 9 TOOK ME LIKE 4 MONTHS TO WRITE LOL. But. Since you've been so patient. If you want a lil spoiler. Beneath the cut.

shiro will be topped in chapter 12 🤧🤧🤧🤧 AS OF NOW, NO PROMISES IN CASE I REARRANGE THE OUTLINE LOL I really spent the last few months telling myself that when I got through my latest mental health crisis that I'd focus deeply on this fic because it brings me so much joy and I really want to like power through and finish it so pray 4 me that 2024 is the year I finish TTSR and that at the current rate, chapter 12 isn't posted in 2027 LMAO 😭😭😭😭

[brandnewhuman]

ELIJAH KAMSKI HCS

Starring:

Our fav funky gen Z hermit

CONTENT

Tw: mentions of drugs and mature language

A/N: RANDOM HEADCANONS OF MY FAV BOI LET'S GO. I will probably do more cause at this point Im literally writing more for me than for anyone else. BUT HE'S SO WBHDJDNWJW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I'm over being just normal about him. Shout-out to @bloodlst I TOLD YOU THE RANDOM HCS WERE COMING

@the-anxious-youth tagging you too just in case

\\\

You all are gonna appreciate this man whether you like or not

I'll start by saying that he's always very aware of how people perceive him

He knows everyone thinks of him either as a creep or some sort of narcissistic weirdo

And, while it still hurts him a little bit, he has given up in trying to get liked or appreciated

He knows that whatever he does people will always see him as something he's not

He has used that in his favour, he manipulates this version of himself that people see to achieve what he wants and what he needs

The only people who knows the real him are the Chloe's and Connor at some point

He loves to use terms of endearment with the people he loves

The Chloe's are always his stars, or his lovelies or darlings

Connor would always be called love, dear or beloved

He really likes valentine's day, bro is really romantic really nice

Plus he's fucking rich so he just like to flex how much he's able to spoil his loved ones

I genuinely think he's asexual. Or at least demisexual

AND PANROMANTIC we can't forget that

why? Cause I said so

Talking about relationships he has never been in one

Or rather he has been but they were mostly one-sided cause the person who was with him just wanted something from him didn't really loved him

For a person so apparently cold and distant he has a rather hopeless romantic vibe going on

He definitely wishes for that bookish type of love but it's something he keeps for himself

It just makes him feel too vulnerable to say he does want to be loved that much

He definitely had a Tumblr blog and was pretty popular but never said who he really was

He was really just vibing, taking cute pics and shit

He doesn't really talks about it and it's definitely a touchy subject but the things he experienced as a teenager CEO had really fucked him up

He has managed to be best friend with nines and it's aggravating Gavin to no end

Unpopular opinion but I feel like he would not like Elon musk

I know everyone of you fucking bastards are gonna say it's not true but it is and you'll have to accept it

He never cared about the profits from selling androids, he cared about what they could do to improve

What more they could do and how much they could evolve ecc that's why he was booted out of cyberlife

As I said before he used to struggle with addiction with has led him to be quite paranoid about taking anything even if he really needs it

Something..something about him screams anaemic

My vampire powers are telling me that

During COVID he abused the shit out of netflix

Like he literally watched the most obscure and absurd shit he could find

He deliberately leaves both contact lenses and glasses at home when he has to do an interview or a reunion cause he's that petty

AND BTW THAT INVASION OF CONNOR'S PERSONAL SPACE? I BET HE COULDN'T SEE FUCKING NOTHING AND THAT'S WHY HE WAS ALL UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

He prefers to sleep on his couch rather than in his bed

His bedroom makes him feel alone somehow and he hates feeling like that

He has a tongue piercing

He finds it very hard to cry and sometimes that makes him feel even worse when he has bad days cause he feels like he can't let it out

Every time he spends money he does it because of the Chloe's

The pool? The Chloe's wanted to swim. The art pieces besides Carl Manfred's ones? The Chloe's liked them

He literally doesn't care, as long as they're happy then he's happy

His dreams are always either really fucking weird or really fucking bad there's no in between

He's scared of hospitals and of psychiatrists because he doesn't trust them and has an irrational fear of getting sent to a mental hospital

His wardrobe consist of like two or three elegant suits and the rest is band or graphic T-Shirt, hoodies and sweatshirt

He really doesn't likes to have to dress too formal

Carl was his only human friend and the og Chloe is the only friend he had left

Before them there was Gavin but they grew apart

Now obviously he has nines and Connor and even Gavin is coming around him again but for the longest time he didn't had anyone else besides Chloe

He's very hard to upset or offend cause half of the stuff one could say he has either already heard it or it's something that he thinks of himself already

It's always cold, like FR this man temperature is not fucking normal

As soon as he was able to leave his family behind he tried all the things he wasn't allowed to do

Which led to him learning how to play music again

He enjoys playing piano but prefers the ukulele because of practical reasons since it's more easy to carry around

He enjoys animating stuff too

He's weirdly good with kids, like those little gremlins adore him and no one can figure out why

He enjoys cleaning, in fact he does most cleaning around the house

He lets the Chloe's try makeup on him and, if they ask him to, he does their makeup too

Lives his life with a constant migraine but he's used to it

Those days where it gets really bad he just locks himself in his study with all lights off and without anything making any sound cause he refuses to take any medicine

He really likes hugs but never ask for them

He always smells either of something minty and fresh or of rose water

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

Tf2 Oneshot Collection - Shower Struggles

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58309948

by cheddar_cheese3

Scout struggles with some dysphoria after a shower.

 Check tags for content warnings !!!

Words: 888, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Other

Characters: Scout (Team Fortress 2), RED Team (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2), Heavy (Team Fortress 2), Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Archimedes (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Medic & Scout (Team Fortress 2), Scout & Soldier (Team Fortress 2)

Additional Tags: Trans Male Character, Trans Male Scout (Team Fortress 2), Trans Scout (Team Fortress 2), Angst, Comfort, Projecting, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Gender Dysphoria, scout is sad, im projecting through scout, Author is trans, Internalized Transphobia, question mark, Suicidal Thoughts, nothing is carried out dw, canon names used for mercs, medic has 200 doves, speaking of doves im gonna put the dne in here just in case, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, hella angsty, happy ending :D, medic gives scout testosterone, scout runs in a binder, DO NOT RUN IN A BINDER, hi this is my first fic

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58309948

[saetoru]

why do you allow her to copy you and get away with it? shes still vilifying you to anyone that will listen and im not saying everyone will believe her but a lot of people already do especially now they don’t wanna interact with you in case you do the same to them

IM SNORTING AT THIS 💀 okay i was gonna drop this but i keep getting asks so i’m gonna give y’all one more little response and then move on :,)

yes, i was irritated that my “minors dni” banners were copied literally EXACTLY, but all i did was block her to keep it from happening again 😭🤚🏽 i enjoy the aesthetics of my blog/my writing. it’s something i put time and energy into editing and stuff and all i ask is that people don’t blatantly copy/steal the same layouts as me. i rly feel it’s not too much to ask 😭 anyway her post was very nasty and condescending to pretty much anyone who is a hobbyist writer on tumblr as a whole ?? i thought that was kind of rude to everyone in general and not just the person she was targeting (which apparently is me 💀) but wtv lol. not all ppl are here to be “published writers” or wtv and more importantly, i’m not flagging anyone’s posts bc as i showed yesterday, the same thing is happening to me too:

it’s happening to pretty much EVERYONE on this app, and it’s simply bc of community guidelines. if you don’t understand this, you are just simply misunderstanding the recent tumblr update and that’s not my problem. are there some ppl who are bitter and are weaponizing this feature to flag a post with a label and stunt interaction on writing ?? yeah, i’m sure there are a few. and that’s very irritating, but for the most part, it’s literally unavoidable to get your work labeled mature for everyone across the board on here who posts smut. if you scroll thru the top tags in the last month for pretty much any smut tag, you will see a majority of the works labeled mature. she’s not the only person who’s dealing with this so pointing fingers at me bc i blocked her bc she literally copied my banners is pretty groundless if u ask me and absolutely ridiculous 💀 anyway i thought i would address it one more time bc ppl are still sending asks and i’m slightly irritated now

[eggsnbac0n]

Hi!! Can you do a SFW head anón version for Carlos? Tyy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My first request!! And no problem! I'm going to try to make this post a little bit longer than my other posts. Enjoy♡

Paring: Carlos Oliveira x Reader

Tags: SFW, fluff, carlos being a flirt, wholesome stuff, mature language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- carlos met you during the crazy events in raccoon city. and you guys immediately connected.

- he loves cooking for you. treats you like a queen. he definitely feeds you cuz he loves you so so so soo much. (his mother raised him well 🙌🙌)

"babe let me feed you. youre gonna get tired"

"its fine carlos and im not going to get tired just by feeding myself silly"

"NOPE NOT GONNA HAPPEN"

- this one time when you guys were getting your groceries from the car, carlos grabs the bags from your hands then carries you and the groceries.

- he loves flexing okay 🤷‍♀️

- he also loves it when he flirts with you. cheesy pick up lines, compliments, anything to get you embarrassed. goes to google to search up pick up lines.

-"do you play soccer? because you're a keeper!"

"i ought to complain to spotify for you not being named this week's hottest single"

"if you were a transformer, you'd be optimus fine"

- and my personal favorite

"if i were a zombie, i would eat cuz' you look like a damn meal"

- I can see him going to disneyland and universal studios a lot. begs you to go to the big rollercoasters, but would stop if you really don't want to go/have a sensitive stomach/etc. doesn't mind going to a kids ride as long as you are having fun, he'll do anything just to make you happy♡

- when he sees you staring at him while he's working out, he smirks and tries to put on a show for you.

"take a picture it'll last longer ;)"

- carlos teaches you how to defend yourself just in case something bad happens. he really loves you and wants you to be ready if he's not there to protect you

- speaking about that, carlos gets overly protective when a guy tries to flirt with you. remember when i said he loves to flex well he shows off how strong he is to that guy. if thats not enough to get him away from you, carlos acts mean and aggressive. (thats a real alpha 😈😘🥰🥶💪🐺)

- carlos drools when he sees you wear something skin tight, showing your curves, muscles, and etc. secretly wants you to wear more clothing like that.

- bing watches love island and trashy tv shows

- loves playing video games with you. he hates losing in games like street fighter but when it comes to you, he'll "try" to go easy on you.

- thinks about marrying you and having a big family with you♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*•.eggs

[alleunwalk]

tokyo revengers idol au hcs part 3 that no one asked for AGAIN here’s part 1 and part 2 to get a better understanding.  this is what the members would be doing alongside their idol promotions+ what they would post on social media  toman tbh these guys are all just so damn funny on their own that they would constantly be invited to comedy variety shows. maybe perhaps doing something similar to seventeen or wanna one where they even have their own variety show on youtube (ie. seventeen’s-going seventeen series or wanna one’s show on mnet)  mikey-he would post basic food pics like of his parfaits or taiyaki but also it’s rare because he’d constantly forget his password. however on important days he’ll post long emotional and sentimental posts that hit you in your feels thanking his members and fans always. he also has a youtube channel posting random funny vlogs. draken- he has his own personal soundcloud to upload solo mixtapes/songs feat diff members. posts photos of his bikes and different tattoos he would be getting. responds with 1-2 words to fans during fansigns or ig comments but like mikey, once in a while, will also write heartfelt posts thanking everyone.  baji- his ig feed is filled with animals + dance practice vids. also has his own soundcloud too. trolls his members by commenting on their stuff. “delete this u ugly mf no one wants to see this”.  takemichi- very chatty, (sometimes too chatty where he’ll end up accidentally spoiling their next album info) and interactive on social media to his fans. tries his best to respond to most comments or ama ig stories questions. posts a lot of selfies and photos of his members. king of fan service.  chifuyu- beautiful photos of the sky a lot on his ig (in canon he wanted to be a pilot :,) ) along with cute soft selfies. (which baji and kazutora troll and comment being like “damn....u ugly AF!” “lmao stop pretending to act cute u loser”  kazutora- his ig is filled with pure chaos. just pics of him catching his members slipping (sleeping photos where they’re drooling or have their eyes slightly open or making ugly faces behind the scenes). also has photos of cursed memes and memes made by fans. he’s a literal enigma.  mitsuya- very wholesome ig photos- lots of photos of his family, group photos, sometimes cool artsy edited selfies. occasional photoshoot photos.  hakkai- ig is filled lots of #ootd photos and occasional photos from his modeling or acting gigs (he’s the visual, duh!) gets a lot of sponsorships from big brands.  pah-chin: has a joint youtube channel with peyan. they do silly challenges but will sometimes post dance videos (feat. baji) since they’re the main/lead dancers. fans love him because of his “matter-of-fact” responses that are funny without even trying. (example- fan comment: omg i love u guys soooo much u guys are the best in the whole world!!!<333 toman OUTSOLD!.  pah-chin: idk about best in the world but we’ll just take “the best in our neighborhood” for now i guess. thanks.”)  peyan: joint youtube channel with pah-chin. at fan signs mikey has to warn him to chill out cuz peyan will accidentally yell and scare fans without meaning to, but he’s just really excited to meet his fans is all ^_^   angry: posts a lot of wholesome photos like mitsuya (selfies with smiley) and writes a lot of motivational sweet captions cheering fans up and reminding them to always be happy :,)  smiley: joint youtube account with angry. smiley does a lot of prank videos and angrys just usually in the back like  🧍‍♂️... he also does tiktok- he would be doing all the dances, memes, and trends.  inui: ok hear me out, i mentioned before inui has similar vibes as cha eunwoo so i’d figure his ig would give the same vibe as his (iykyk). since he’s the other visual he would be getting a TON of acting and modeling gigs. idk why but i feel like inui would be a great actor (his facial expressions during tenjiku arc, the range!). actor of the year. gets a lot of skincare commercial deals too. 

black dragons shinichiro- photos of bikes, cars, and photos where hes pretending to do a cool pose but his members (+mikey) would troll and comment “LAME!!!!!” “why tf do u look like that?” “hey leader, it’s not too late to delete this now bestie :)” does fun ig lives. on variety shows as a joke his members tease him there as well. really great at fan-service and pulls the whole “pretend boyfriend” scenario with fans (the delusional fans are gonna act up if he keeps this up...).  taiju- (if shinichiro did not exist in this au OR if you wanted both in the group) photos of him at the gym, photoshoot photos.  inui- similar to if he was in toman, his ig would just be a lot of cool and cute photos of him from behind the scenes of dramas or photoshoots. a soft visual king. occasional selfies with koko and bike photos.  kokonoi- has a personal youtube channel but he would be Drowning in sponsorship videos all from high-end designer brands. he’s just casually flexing that PPL in his vlogs. ig feed is a lot of #ootd photos or pics taken with inui. him and inui would be makeup brand ambassadors or faces of brands (ex: like jennie from blackpink represents chanel). in this case kokonoi would be the face of fendi (he wears fendi slides in the manga cover) and inui would be the face of jimmy choo (his heels in the manga cover looked like jimmy choo but i could be wrong.. but u know what i mean) 

tenjiku  izana- pretty leader has a very artsy ig feed. extremely photogenic like inui. has photoshoot photos and candid pose photos. acts in dramas time to time (gg second male lead syndrome).  kakucho- posts gym or dance practice videos on his feed but he posts rarely because he’s just too busy or forgets he actually has an ig. loves commenting on takemichi’s posts “haha no wonder ur called baka-michi!” as a joke.  kanji- posts gym photos but it’s rare because he always forgets his password.  ran- the other visual. he would be modeling for high-fashion brands and go on runway shows. also definitely gives off actor vibes (he would be constantly casted in dark action movies hahaha). loves giving fan service.  rindou- in contrast to his brother, rindou when it comes to fan service, he loves trolling fans. also he’s really good at drawing a line between fans (y’know, keeping the delusional ones in check...which means he ‘friend-zones’ them but it’s for their own good tbh idols need to remind people their boundaries). has a youtube channel where he just posts random dance practice vids and occasional vlogs. also comments under his brothers ig posts “you look stupid af in this wtf”. on variety shows people find their brotherly banter hilarious.  mutou- posts gym photos, also really awkward selfies (he doesn’t know what his angle is lmao). another member who also reminds fans of their boundaries and keeps it real. (sanzu always likes his photos though and hypes him up in the comments).  sanzu- shy baby. constantly following mutou around. posts a lot of cute selfies and random pics of shogi stuff (he tags mutou in it of course). during fan signing/autograph sessions they love putting cute headband props on him like this or this. 

bonten because this group’s concept and aesthetic is mysterious, mature, artsy, gloomy, and dark they will take this concept to the grave. (minus a few exceptions) they are invited to variety/talk-shows but never make an appearance because they want to keep the air of mystery around them. (it’s a good marketing technique).  mikey- does not have any social media. he does have a private account to lurk around but no one knows what it is.  kokonoi- has a youtube channel but it’s locked and you have to pay to get into it. posts super short vlogs and teasers. thats it. (the ultimate scam! but their fans love them too much to notice). lots of sponsored #ootd posts on ig.  kakucho- he would be modeling ONLY high fashion brands and high end editorial places. his instagram is just his exquisite and expensive modeling photos whether it be candid backstage photos from shows, candid runway walk pics/vids, pics of diff photoshoots you name it. doesn’t really comment much.  ran- visual. similar to kakucho- modeling ONLY high fashion brands and editorial places. instagram is filled with modeling photos but also some artsy scenery pics he took.  rindou- posts short artsy dancing clips (like modern dances in black&white filter) on ig.  sanzu- since he’s the other visual, he also posts a lot of his modeling/acting photos on instagram. also pretty chatty (he’s the exception) on social media and loves teasing and trolling fans. posts with a lot of random cute emojis on everything. “just ate lunch and now im off to practice hehe 🍜🍇🤟💃🤠🧚‍♂️💞🦋” no one really knows why he uses random emojis but it’s just endearing lmao.  kanji- no social media at all.  akashi- manager....or if you made him the rapper in this au then he too would also not have any social media. 

[maschotch]

Okay okay okay, so I saw your opinion on Hotchreid (and I also saw your tags saying you wanted to have a discussion but also like only maybe cause the ship is a squicky one for you, so I totally understand if you don't respond to this).

So, at least for me, there's enough evidence in the show to say that Hotch is only 10 years older than Reid. In the episode where we meet Sean, Hotch says something along the lines of Sean being 25 years old, and Hotch is only 10 years older than Sean--this is in season one when Spencer just had his 24th birthday. So, to me, Hotch is 10 years (maybe 11) older than Reid. Does that make the age gap better? Probably not. But in the real world, once you're older, having a lover who is 5 or 10 years older than you isn't that big of a deal (I personally know older family friends who are 9 years apart and they've been married for 45 years and counting).

I totally see the father-son dynamic between them, too, and I freaking LOVE platonic Hotchreid. Hotch being there for Reid as a father figure is one of my favorite things, and I love the fics where Reid goes to Hotch for help or support.

Okay okay so, I honestly cannot tell you why Hotchreid is my favorite ship--because as much as I joke that it's my daddy issues, I legit can't stand Daddy Kinks (no hate to those who love it). For me, I think their relationship would happen by accident. It starts with them having intelligent and fun conversations (it's well known that Hotch is very intelligent as well, though maybe not with an IQ of 187, haha). I can see them eating dinner in Hotch's office while discussing law and science and psychology. It just *grows* from there, becomes something fun and teasing, until one day they both realize that they want more than just friendship. For me, Reid sees Hotch as his intellectual equal. He's always been younger than his peers, so he doesn't see the age gap as an issue (though Hotch would, for a while).

I dunno if I explain this well enough for you to understand, lol, but yeah, that's how I feel about it. That being said, I am in therapy c; LOL! And I still totally get why Hotchreid isn't everyone's cup of tea. I personally cannot understand Hotchniss or Demily because to me, they seem more like siblings than lovers (in both cases), but I get why people love them.

Anyways! I hope you have a wonderful day <3

i have given up on criminal minds ages tbh. the writing is far too inconsistent to even try to argue with it so im just gonna say that if thats the ages you think, then thats what they'll be for the rest of the discussion! bc who am i to say their ages when i have no fucking clue how old they are akjsdhlgs

i understand that there are some real life age gap relationships that can be perfectly healthy. and age gaps definitely dont matter as much when you're older! someone middle aged dating someone 5 years younger/older is no big deal. someone 20 dating someone 5 years younger/older can be pedophilia. my own personal bias against age gap relationship are probably not as inclusive as they should be and im aware of that.

reid and hotch are certainly on the same mental intelligence level. reids higher askjdg but that doesnt translate to emotional maturity. its very clear that, at least early on, reid is definitely not very emotionally developed. he definitely improves as he gets older

this is the dialogue that crosses a line for me and prevents me from seeing it as romantic. hotch plays an active role teaching reid how to be an emotionally capable individual. and even though reid was over 18 when they met, even though reid is very intelligent, he is still developing as a person. and hotch is helping him through that

i just think that when someone is helping another person grow and fully mature as their own individual for the first time, they have great influence over how they end up. so anything romantic coming from that.. thats just.. grooming

to be fair, im very very very VERY conscious of this as i engage with media and interact w fandoms. im a star wars fan, and a lot of popular ships follow a similar dynamic: falling in love with the person who helped you grow up. and thats just... thats so inappropriate to me. even if the older person would never intentionally abuse that, its still a wildly unhealthy power dynamic that makes me really uncomfortable. its just something im hyperaware of in fandom spaces because its such a common trope that people sexualize.

with the rest of the team, its not as relevant because they were already developed in that particular arena. they've all had relationships before, they've all lived their own lives and had their own experiences and their own ideas of whats right/wrong and who to love. hotch wasn't directly involved with their development as a well-rounded individual.

i appreciate you explaining to me your thought process behind it, so i just wanted to expand on what specifically i cant wrap my head around so that you can give your reasoning on why this isnt a concern for you. if you have a response, please send another ask because i really do want to know more.

and i totally get the sibling thing for emily/hotch and morgan/emily. i agree on morgan/emily being more a sibling thing. and im totally fine with hotch/emily being completely platonic like its no biggie for me. im not really a big "shipper" but its fun to think about sometimes, and they're just the ones thats easiest for me to think about probably because theyre my favs and i do nothing but think about them all day

AJSDLHF actually in therapy :* me too~ lets get better ~healing and love

thank you for the ask tho fr. its not something ive ever really tried to think about, so any reasons to enjoy it are lost on me simply.

[carpsurprise]

bro 👁👁 if u wanna talk more abt jodi and her parenting i would LOVE to hear it :D honestly you worded it much better than i could asdmsbf ty!!

THANK U SO MUCH IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE ok im gonna bleed this in with some of MY headcanons personally and some of the canon dialogue!! i’ll bold my headcanons so its easier to differentiate what im talkin about bopbop also this is SO long im sorry

also this makes it seem like i don’t like jodi i do!! (thats my mom in law hehe) but like... just some of the stuff she says points to deeper insecurity issues. 

so in short: this is kind of a jodi analysis.

it’s def touched upon by multiple people that she doesn’t seem happy (her dialogue is full of ‘i wants’ and ‘i wishes) but i do think that’s not entirely the case, it’s just a classic mother thing to feel sort of (lack of a better word) trapped into motherhood and her responsibilities. and i def think kent being away probably worsened that.

with kent being away she was pretty much a single mother, and as seen in sam’s canon character, he has to do a lot to make up for kent’s absence... financially and emotionally, for both her and vince. vince needs a positive male figure to look up to to inspire him to be the best he can be, and jodi needs stability and help with her own responsibilities. sam tries to fulfill all of that and even some of his marriage dialogue (and his three heart event) it definitely puts stress on him.

so, sam tries his best! but in some dialogue and sam’s heart events you can see she still gets on him for things that makes him like :/ she still views him as a child occasionally despite being a full adult who is also sorta-parenting vincent, acting as some sort of doing-good role model for him, and i believeeee he says he tries to be his best specifically for vincent’s growth.

jodi still treats vincent like a child, but she still treats him better than she treats sam often. which kinda ties into the point i made about sam being the trial/error kid. i’ve headcanoned and i’ve seen others also say that kent and jodi got married straight out of high school. u kno typical military stuff. this also kind of explains her sort of ‘trapped feeling’ dialogue since it seems like she didn’t get much time to explore the world or maybe even explore herself as an individual. caroline likes gardening, marnie loves animals to death, and robin knows woodworking/a trade but jodi... just has regular ‘housewife’ things like cooking and cleaning.

^ like this doesn’t sound like someone who had a CHOICE in what her life has turned out to be. and i think sam got the BRUNT of that.

and here ^ she’s kind of immature in some of her dialogue, esp since (like u said in ur post!!) that sam caught on to it and has reacted negatively to it. i would venture to a point and say she most likely suffered with post-partum depression for sam especially if she felt trapped with kent as she does in game. i def think that with this and in canon, sam was probably used as her guinea pig for parenting. obviously no one is a natural born mother but if kent had just gone away in the military and she had sam, i can definitely see where some resentment for kent and sam would come in... along with resentment for herself for getting herself into that situation.

which that kind of train of thought could be an explanation for some of her self-deprecating/wants and wishes dialogue. once the issues of raising sam had kinda smoothed out, and he became old enough to realize exactly what was going on with his father/the war and his mother’s reactions to that stress, she probably already figured out how to parent vincent. esp since sam and vincent seem so similar (adhd imo) what didn’t work with sam jodi was able to figure out.

but going back to how she treats sam! i do think she would still kind of hold some resentment. obviously she loves sam but she still views him as a child, despite how mature he really is... like in his marriage dialogue and his three heart event. i honestly think his whole sunshine/golden retriever boy personality is ofc true but. partially true. i think he does it as a save face for how he really feels, which is anxious (about his fathers return and vincent growing up).

but one of the first tags i put! def more headcanon-y just from the stuff i mentioned above. jodi definitely gives me the ‘weaponizes basic needs’ in an argument type of mom. u kno the whole “i feed you, you have a roof over your head, i put clothes on your back” kind of manipulation. which.. yeah jodi you should! i think she’s very insecure about herself and very anxious over her situation and is at a constant state of trying to prove to herself her own worth. like.. the only thing she is/does is be a mother so when sam (or not so often vincent) fuck up, she takes it personally because raising those two is the only thing she really does. if she sees herself as a failure there... then what as she spent her life doing (instead of travelling/having hobbies/etc)

kids naturally fuck up she learned through sam!! one of the things my mother told me all the time while growing up was that it was “her first time ever being a mother” and i think jodi would honestly... have those same thoughts. she’s tired and overworked and on top of that has to raise two boys as a ‘single mother’. i think she’d snap easily on sam from too much pressure, whether he was younger (by accident) or as he got older (on purpose). it seems like there’s little room for accidents on anyone else’s part in her house.

like sam’s four heart event. ignoring the obvious why-the-hell-are-you-handing-me-an-egg issue, sam very obviously drops the egg on accident, and jodi storms in and creates an issue out of it. which... it’s an accident. it seems out of character for sam to drop the egg on purpose and cause an issue for his MOTHER. obviously he does stuff that makes lewis mad on purpose, but he doesn’t do stuff like that to jodi. but she still gets upset over... his hand slipping.

and his ten heart event. why don’t we talk about that more often? from her dialogue its hinted at that she thought he was ... y’know... but still had said if i recall correctly!! “i’m coming in”. there was no question and it gives sam no option to tell her no. so it seems she has that kind of ‘control’ in their house where she can just invade sam’s privacy (granted.. she knocked but still) even when she thought he was doing THAT. idk i don’t like the “i’m coming in”... it seems like she is not giving sam the further consent for her to enter his room (or private space)

ok this is long i need to wrap this up but bottom line she loves her kids. of course she does! but i think sam definitely gets treated ‘worse’ and kinda has as the firstborn/oldest. jodi, with her kids, finally has some control of her life back since she is their mother and they have to listen to her. she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing still, and once one of the boys (sam) messes up she takes it as a personal attack since the One thing she does in her life is be a mother. this was very long but thank u !!!! i love doing a lil character analysis

[xhuth]

anyway going back to my tag rant in that post about teens thinking anything 20+ is “old” like i dont know how to describe why that makes me so mad lol. just extremely resent the prevalent notion people lose worth or potential after a very arbitrarily young age which is totally entrenched in some greater shit.

my other roommate (same age) was disagreeing (politely because emotional maturity is what actually matters—) over some ages like 30+ being “old” by definition or somethinf and it just hits me in a weirdly personal way for no particular reason, maybe because of the older parents thing or spending the majority of my childhood interacting with much older ppl online (under the guise of being the same age lmfao) plus finding myself resonate a lot more with those older than me as a child, between those internet friends and my parents’ friends, than with my own classmates in elementary/middle school who i was only kinda “friends” with in proximity but not actually really friends with at all. also the “growing up faster” due to childhood parental abuse lol. but yeah even if you act like 60s is “elderly”, or even in the case of some kids, “ancient”, im gonna side-eye u lmfao

just super hate the really prevalent idea of it being “too late” to do things because of age and i think it does an immense amount of harm and holds so many ppl back arbitrarily. also not to mention the misogynist shit that also gets paired with ageism where shitty ass teens or even early 20s ppl see a woman over 25 in fandom and think theyre so funny going “haha shouldnt you be taking care of ur kids 🤪” or whatever like that isnt one of the most blatantly textbook misogynist things ever

[blushing-starker]

Sweet Mable, aka @drarryismyshit07 , squealed with me about a little Peter and his daddies. Tagging @professional-benaddict because I'm a sucker for Rafni's validation (who isn't, to be honest?).

He cares about his daddies and Peter would rather sleep without Padds for a week than see them sleep deprived and bleary eyed. So yeah, he technically broke the rules. But! MJ took him to daddies ' office and made sure Peter was safe the entire time. He was well behaved and patient, a very important fact Peter emphasized to Tony and Stephen as they stifled fond chuckles and lifted him over a yucky puddle. MJ, bless her, solemnly swears he's telling the truth. Now all he has to do is convince them, "It was Mr Paddington that missed you, daddies. He needed you for cuddles. I told him you were at work, but he didn't listen. I was going to take nappies when he got impatient and worried. Daddy told me to listen to Papa Stephen and he always says to be kind and considerate. I wasn't gonna let him be sad, so we decided to come get you."

It takes Stephen's entire self control to not laugh when confronted with those bright puppy eyes and confident grin. There's just a hint of something sly curling pink lips and he makes a note to dissuade Tony from teaching their baby court tactics. If Peter whips out the fluttering lashes, rosy cheeks,

(Im so sorry, but as I'm writing this, Umbrella came on and I am dying, oh jesus, my thoughts just completely derailed. Oh, I'm dead.)

curved shoulders, and teasing grin, they will be done for. As it is, Tony looks ready to spend their complete bank account on Peter. Well. He always looks like that, but now there's a Cheshire grin on his boyfriend's face and dammit, why is Stephen stuck with being the logical one?

"Baby, we appreciate your... compassion with Mr Paddington and your worry over us. It makes us very happy, knowing our little prince cares about us so much that he'd come so far from home to get his daddies," it's a five minute ride, but still, he's a sucker for Peter, he'll fib, " and I'm so proud you came with MJ instead of alone. That was an extremely mature thing to do, darling. Now, when we get home, Tony and I will take a quick shower and cuddle with Mr Paddington and with our sweet boy. But we'll talk tomorrow, ok? Next time you're worried, I want you to call just in case daddy and I aren't in the office. We don't want you, I mean, Paddy to come over, not see us and be sad. Right, Tony? "

His boyfriend is staring at Peter like he hung the fucking moon. A sharp elbow to his ribs has Tony doubling over, wheezing and groaning into Peter's neck.

"Right, Tony?"

"Yeah, right, babe. Don't want Paddy being sad. Oh, damn. Don't move, Pete." Tony's gasping the words out, face flushed and eyes teary. Stephen may have hit him a bit too hard. Their baby soothes New York's most ruthless lawyer, runs soft hands down a designer suit jacket reverently and carefully. Peter smiles at him, love so clear in his eyes that he melts.

Maybe Peter should visit more often, after all.