#im just saying that personally i dont like fighting with them that mucu

[anti-terf-posts]

hey, i know the going is probably a little rough right now, but you got this. and if you don’t, it’s completely okay to step away from the internet for a bit! you’re valid the way you are, and i hope you really take that to heart.

have a good day/ night/ whatever the fuck time is supposed to be

this actually means a lot, because honestly? fighting terfs is not as fun as I make it seem. it's tiring, draining, and all around Not Fun™. Arguing with stupid people feels stupid. In my head, it's a waste of time. and in some ways, it kind of is! After a while, arguing with them just turns into bringing up the same points over and over, because that's their strategy. they're not smart people. they don't understand advanced biology enough to know that their perception of gender, sexuality, and sex is just straight up wrong. This is all part of the reason why I tend to delete transphobic asks unless I find them funny. it's just not a good use of time to indulge in their antics. At least, that's my opinion

anyways, sorry for the rant, and thank you so so so so much for this ask :) /gen

[imaginetonyandbucky]

On their first official date, Tony has a cold and ends up taking the wrong kind of cold medicine which makes him loopy but Steve kinda crashes the date trying to tell Tony he loves him before he ends up losing him to Bucky. Even doused Tony kindly but funnily rejects him but offers to buy him dinner. Bucky gives him a friendly threat saying he loves Steve, he's his bff and brother so they'll be cool but that he can't ever go after Tony.

Doped Up Date

Bucky’s heart pounded in his chest as if he were battling a levithan—not on a date with Tony Stark.

Honestly, fighting a levithan would be easier; he’d just need to grab his largest gun and shoot at the damn thing until it was dead.

How did one combat the humor and charm of Tony Stark—resist the beautiful, brown bambi eyes?

How could he win and not wave his white flag in defeat when the  red, stuffy nose on Tony’s face endeared Bucky to him?

Tony chuckled. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand. He pulled Tony close to his side. The chill off the evening seeped into his coat. If he could feel the cold then Tony could as well; he needed to keep Tony warm. It was bad enough that he had taken Tony outside when he was sick. Tony should be resting somewhere with a heater. Bucky hadn’t been able help himself when Tony had asked him out though.

He had been pouring himself a glass of milk when Tony had stumbled into the kitchen with a loopy grin on his face.

“There’s my gorgeous man.” Tony had clumsily sashayed up to Bucky. “Let’s go on a date.”

Bucky forced himself to swallow instead of spitting out the milk like it had gone sour. “Are you high?”

Tony had waved off Bucky’s question. “I took some cold medicine. Nothing strong. Date me.”

Like the weak person that he was, Bucky caved. He’d wanted to date Tony for so long, but had been too afraid to make a move due to their history. He couldn’t give up his chance at a date with Tony just because the circumstances weren’t perfect.

He also trusted that, despite a few out of character moments, Tony was telling him the truth when he said he was not high off his gourd.

(More after the break!)

“Bucky, you’re ignoring me.” Tony nuzzled Bucky’s shoulder as he whined.

“Sorry. I’m just really happy.”

Tony hummed. “That’s good.”

A violent sneeze bowed Tony’s body.

Bucky patted Tony on the back. “We should get you home.”

Tony rubbed his nose with the back of his wrist. “But we only had dinner. What kind of a date is only dinner?”

“A filling one.” Bucky slung his arm around Tony’s neck. “We’re walking under the stars.”

“On a dirty, busy sidewalk in New York.” Tony pressed closer to Bucky to avoid the two kids and their guardian rushing past.

“We could call Happy to pick us up.”

“Are you trying to kill the romance?”

“We could make out in backseat of the car.”

Tony scrunched his face. There was just something so childish and silly about the pout Tony directed at Bucky; it caused fondness and humor to course through Bucky. He kissed Tony’s temple. “A movie. You, me, and a comfy couch at home. We’ll dim the lights, grab a couple of blankets, and keep each other warm. How is that for romance?”

“Sounds better than it should be,” Tony grumbled. “It’s our first date; it should be more romantic. Flowers, sweeping music, and all that Hallmark stuff. Fireworks.”

“Watching fireworks or kissing being like fireworks?”

“Both.” Tony closed his eyes as he lolled his head back.

Bucky chuckled as he planted another kiss on Tony’s head. “Yeah, sounds like it is time to take you home.”

“I could buy fireworks, you know. I have bought fireworks.”

Bucky nodded his head and mumbled agreements. He had no doubt that Tony had purchased fireworks before.

With a gentle arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders—or a hand tucked into Tony’s back pocket when Tony took to gesticulating—Bucky guided his sickly love home. Cuddled together, they entered the common area of the Avengers compound and took over the living room. Tony sprawled across one of the sofas and picked out the movie, as Bucky hunted down soft, fleece blankets to cocoon them in. He also fetched Tony’s medicine, much to Tony’s chagrin.

“I’m fine.” Snot dribbled out from Tony’s nose. He grimaced.

Bucky shook his head. He pulled a travel packet of tissues from his pocket then passed a tissue to Tony. “I’m sure. It’s for later when you don’t feel fine.”

Tony took the tissue. He blew his nose. “Hand sanitizer.”

“I’ll grab some while I get the popcorn.”

“My sweet prince, I would kiss you like a porn star if I weren’t carrying the plague.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Bucky grinned as he went to the kitchen. In a flash, he had a bag of popcorn popping in the microwave and was on the move to fetch a bottle of hand sanitizer for Tony as promised. Just as quick as he was to get the popcorn started, he scurried to the bathroom where, after riffling through a couple of drawers, he found the hand sanitizer.

There was a bounce to his step as Bucky returned to the living room. The soft hum of the microwave coming from the kitchen told him the popcorn was still cooking, even as the salty and buttery aroma of the light as air treat teased his senses.

A square, blond head attached to a pair of broad shoulders peeked out from behind the couch. A corded arm pillowed Tony’s head. Laughter lit up Tony’s face as he looked at Steve: the encroacher.

Insecurity opened its maw and threatened to swallow Bucky whole.

Vague memories of a time when he used to be the dashing charmer who had all the girls fawning over him flooded back to him. Bitterness assaulted his tongue as shame coiled through his being; his jealousy was so strong that he was embarrassed.

He was happy that Steve knew how to flirt and charm.

He just wasn’t happy that the person who Steve was interested in was Tony.

Be a good friend, Bucky. Be a good friend. Tony asked you out. He likes you. Don’t go caveman.

Steve cocked his head then looked Bucky’s way. “Bucky, there you are. Tony was just telling me that you two are about to have a movie night. Hope you don’t mind a third wheel.”

“And here I thought you were tired of being a third wheel.” Bucky spoke with a smile that belied his backhanded words.

“Not when I am with two of my favorite people.”

Tony snorted tersely.

Steve gave Tony a look that communicated that he had heard Tony, knew exactly what Tony was saying without uttering a word, and that despite his disapproval, he was amused by Tony’s antics.

The microwave beeped its completion.

Bucky ignored it. “You’re giving me cavities, Steve. Tony and I planned for this movie night to be just the two of us. So…” Bucky swung his arms toward the exit.

A befuddled frown crossed Steve’s features. He looked to Tony for understanding.

Tony wrapped the blankets tighter around himself. “No need to fight over me boys.” He sniffled. “I know-” Tony blinked. “…and my head is spinning. Hello, vertigo, my old friend. Oh! Friday, movie change. Get ready to play Vertigo.”

Bucky marched over to Tony. He tucked the bottle of hand sanitizer into the space where sofa cushion met armrest. Bucky splayed his flesh hand across Tony’s forehead. “You’re not burning up.”

Tony nuzzled Bucky’s hand. “It’s just the mucus forming crystals in my head.”

“Are you sure?” Steve leaned into Tony’s space.  His brows knitted together. “Maybe we should cancel movie night tonight. You need your rest, Tony. I’ll take you out to the movies some other night. What do you say? We can make it a date.”

A part of Bucky applauded Steve for his new and improved pick up skills. Another part of Bucky screamed in horror. With just a few sentences, Steve had brought an end to Bucky’s date while simultaneously asking Tony out.

Steve was devastating him.

Tony huffed. He put his hand on Steve’s cheek and pushed him away. “I know thanks to that serum you are immune to the common cold but please stay out of my face.”

Steve frowned but kept his distance. “I’m worried about you, Tony.”

“Bah.” Tony tossed a corner of the blanket over his head. The fleece covered half his face. “Everyone is such a worrywart!” Tony twisted. He flung his arms open at Bucky. “Come to me, beautiful. Sick people need warmth.”

“Yeah, you were right about not needing more medicine.” Bucky went around the couch. He plopped himself on the other side of Tony. Tony embraced Bucky like he was Tony’s long lost teddy bear. Happiness curled in Bucky’s stomach like a contented cat. It was nice to be wanted. It was wonderful to be wanted by Tony.

Steve touched Tony’s shoulder. Genuine concern contorted his face. “Tony, I’m really worried. I love you; I don’t want to see you hospitalized because we didn’t take care of you.”

“That’s a sweet love confession, Steve, but my weak, barely functional heart belongs to this darling raccoon over here.” Tony pecked Bucky on the lips. “I really hope you are immune to the common cold, otherwise that was a lot more disgusting than I thought it would be in my head.” Tony sniffled.

Red-nosed, watery-eyed, and a voice that was slowly but surely becoming raspy, and Tony was still the person Bucky most wanted to kiss on the planet. He was a smitten man; he did not mind.

“Tony, I’m serious,” Steve’s tone hardened.

“So am I.” Tony lightly kicked Steve’s knee. “Shoo, shoo. Go pine for me in another room, or make another super boy band to fight against mine, whatever it is you do to cope.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re delirious.”

Tony closed his eyes and groaned. When he opened his eyes again, a shade of the sharp wit that he usually carried shimmered in his eyes. He turned on Steve. “Steve, if I am hospitalized it will be from blue balls, because right now, I am trying to get in your best friend’s pants, and you are cockblocking me.”

Steve’s head jerked back as if struck. He blinked rapidly like a cartoon character then stared at Tony and Bucky.

“You two are dating? Really dating? This isn’t a joke?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “We are trying to.”

“Yeah, third wheel and the love confessions are making it a little hard,” Bucky said.

Steve stiffened. Red tinged the tips of his ears. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Love confession? Really?”

“You said, ‘I love you,’” Bucky argued. He wasn’t going to let Steve off the hook for intruding on his date with Tony.

Tony nodded.

“I say ‘I love you’ to both of you all the time.” The red traveled down Steve’s eartips to his neck. Steve’s jaw set stubbornly.

“No, you don’t,” Bucky said.

“Yes, I do.”

“Friday,” Tony chimed in. “Has Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to Bucky or me before now?”

“I have no record of Steve Rogers saying ‘I love you’ to either of you; however, my records do not account for times that he was outside of my hearing range.”

Tony smirked at Steve. “Don’t try to say that every time you’ve said it you’ve just happened to not be around Friday.”

“I was wrong.” Steve stood up. “You’re not sick enough to go to the hospital. You have too much energy.”

“Love you too, Steve,” Tony said.

Steve’s face turned tomato red.

Tony tilted his head so he could kiss Bucky’s cheek. “Love you more.”

Bucky’s grin cut his face in half.

“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Steve hurried for the exit, like a child who had just walked in on his parents kissing.

“Don’t go after my fella again,” Bucky hollered at Steve’s retreating back. He spoke the words playfully with an undercurrent of seriousness that he knew Steve would pick up on. Steve was his family and best friend–he loved Steve–but Tony was special. He wasn’t okay with Steve hitting on Tony.

“I wasn’t!” Steve shouted as he made himself scarce.

“Sure,” Bucky said, sarcasm dripped off the word.

Tony flopped against Bucky. “Finally! Alone at last.”

[quackspot]

Every single one of the talk about meme questions. Just kidding, pick any 6 you wanna do

m gona do whatever i can talk about bc i like to talk about myself

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

getting addicted to th internet but of course i wouldn’t be here but i would likely be better off socially .  or maybe just being born as i am sometimes i think about how if i were born male things would be Much better for me like socially n stuff like that.. sometimes i jut wish i coud chest bump and cheer with friends n goof around and be crazy yeah i can be like that but it’d feel kind of weird (or just weird at first)

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.

one year i got a club penguin membership and i was in chuck e cheeses and then another year completely different but me n some friends played a game called body body in my house and it was fun

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.

i dont think i did anything for my birthday last year so like oop

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

my forehead or my height

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

im pretty proud of my art and writing!! 

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my body is very cool i like how my hair bounces when i walk because of how i walk and how my hair curls in towards my face (kind of)

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.

probably a video game one to be honest.  cant really recall. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.

i’ve had some weird dreams like when i stole the side of a locker and ran from some guy but i was late for the bus so i put the side back and it was all ok then uhhhhh one where people were doing like cheer leader pyramids and i think some dude named craig from dream daddy was there i cant quite remember if that’s the guy who was there i just remember being like “FSKLJFLKJKLF CRAIG DREAM DADDY WAS IN MY DREAM”

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.

i went to someone’s house and i kicked a tree stump then bees chases me and i dont remember much else about it it was in like 3rd grade

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

bottom

14: Talk about a vacation.

i went to florida in 6th grade for a week and i loved it very much i got a wand (and a wand ceremony >:) )

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

never

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

in like 4th grade someone told me someone else had a crush on me and i was like “ohhhhh yeah that kind of makes sense” and i just felt awkward around him since i didnt like him back 

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

OHOSHOSHODHSOHOEHO HO O O O N N NN N  THE BUSS!!! I met a good friend and the first words i said to her were something like “hi i have social anxiety” and she was like “me too!!!” hten we were friends and then i went to another school in 8th grade and we never talked ever again and im in 10th grade now o-o

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

last year i went to the bathroom and said “let there be light” while walking in and hte lights came on

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

also last year someone who i considered like somewhat close friend (we dont talk anymore sadly he had fun games? i dunno he was rich and white and yeah he was fun to hang out with n stuff) and he asked me if i wanted to be his gf and i was like “nahh hahaha im not ready for that kind of thing” and i didnt like him that way also it was during challenge day aka  a day where people came in and were like “man we all sad let’s hug :)”

22: Talk about your worst fear.

either bugs or the horrifying fear of hte unknown and growing up

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

cant get turned down if you’ve only asked 1  person if you’d like to get together twice and they said yes both times but you started thinking you weren’t right for them then broke up B)

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

someone i’ll call m&m because she didn’t like being called that uhh she was rather rude and had a trampoline and 2 dogs and was pretty bossy i guess

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.

literally nothign new i just do what i do but maybe actually just. yeah thts basically what i did recently i had a stuffy nose and like mucus or something in my mouth and it’s still like that but the only thing i really changed was nasal spray ! i use that at night but i might stop soon since im feeling better

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

it depends on how you die. there’s probably like the last moments and then nothing. nobody knows what happens next. you might get revived or you might just be nothing forever and that’s rather scary to me

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

i remember my first house i lived in and i walked back home from elementary school and it was cool

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

tell myself “hey stop being sad” or cry if im alone 

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.

MY LEGS TODAY WERE GUCKNVIGTIORJ LKEKL JRIOFDJKLSAJIDFKEDSL ohh wait worst ok

so it was a period pain and i was on my bed and i was crying and i was curled up and a thught appeared in my head.... “what if i drew a pentagram on my hand?” because jamie said that brought her luck and i was like “fuck it might as well try it” so then i had a pentagram on my hand and satan didn’t help me with period cramps

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

stop being nervous abt talking to people i guess lol. . . . making friends hard if u cant say hi 

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

my little pony n stuff sometimes i just watch kids shows when im bored

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

idk i dont think i’ve truly fallen in love but im sure i was in love with kiley at least a little bit 

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

when i first listened to melancholy blues i thought of sparkling cookie i know he’s not real but songs don’t remind me of real people

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.

golden birthdays because my golden birthday was when i was 5  actually theyre nothing special but.. .  still wig

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

we dont have fishies anymore and that’s becuase we have a dog and a cat now :(((( miss u fish....... 

[chockfullofsecrets]

Class 1-A vs. Tickle Might: Part 1

<< Prologue (in case you’re wondering what’s going on) :: Part 2 >>

(A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who offered their kind feedback, especially @gigglingknight ! 2.7k words and 4 kids - Mineta’s not getting back up again - down, 16 to go! Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think - favorite scene, constructive criticism - your feedback will keep me awake at night to write part 2!)

The forty combined eyes of class 1-A were locked on All Might as he leapt gracefully from the wall of the training grounds, passing overhead and descending in a lazy arc into the mock city before them.

“He moves like a missile,” Momo said thoughtfully. “You would think such a big person would be less aerodynamic.”

Other students were less calm. “He’s gonna kill us all!” Mineta yelled. “I won’t get to enjoy my summer break at all!”

Hagakure clung to Ojiro’s arm. “Guys, I bet Aizawa-sensei sent him to beat us up before training camp. He probably thinks we won’t cause as much trouble if we’re all in full-body casts!”

Ojiro laughed, but he too was looking at the cluster of buildings in obvious dismay. “All Might’s the number one hero, he wouldn’t just indiscriminately fight us. I think.”

Even Aoyama’s sparkle was a little dimmed, his eyes wide in alarm behind his visor. “Mon dieu, didn’t you see what he did to Bakugou and Midoriya? His smile was as twinkling as ever, but… it was scary!”

“And he’s at full strength this time,” Satou added, his big lips pursed.

Those of them who were afraid edged closer to one other, clutching at armor and fabric and hands as if hoping they would fuse together into a single pro capable of taking on the Number One Hero. A select few, though, prepared to rally.

“It’ll be all right, guys!” Deku was smiling. Of course he was. “There’s a lot of us, and we have more experience using team attacks now! I’m sure we can impress All Might and Aizawa-sensei!”

Iida frowned. “Won’t it be easier for him to find us if we all stay in a group?”

“Maybe, but I feel safer with you guys!” Sero said.

“Yeah!”

“Let’s come up with a plan!”

A familiar snarl filled the air. “You extras can plan all you want!” Bakugou announced. “I’m going to face him head on! The only thing that would make me surrender is having to listen to you idiots for another minute!” He spun on his heel and stalked off, quickly disappearing behind the piles of concrete.

Kirishima grinned. “Guess I know what I’m doing, then.”

Mineta howled. “Just let him die! He’s really annoying! And if you get caught in the crossfire between him and All Might there’s no way you’ll survive.”

He shrugged. “Maybe, but I can’t just let him go in alone! And besides, what could be a manlier last sight on Earth than those two going at it?”

“I’ll come too,” Mina said, bouncing up and down on her toes. “I want to watch! And maybe I can get some surprise attacks in with my acid!”

The two of them headed off together after Bakugou, cheerily waving a goodbye to the rest of the group. Kaminari waved back at them like it was the last he would ever see of his two friends. Jirou scoffed and turned to look at the two planners left in their group. “Let’s call them the distraction, then… Momo, Midoriya, do you guys have any ideas?”

Bakugou’s arms throbbed inside his gauntlets.

The wounds from his finals match had been healed by Recovery Girl  - the old hag had been surprised that he’d been hurt so bad, even though Deku was in the next bed over with a shitty bruised spine, as if he wasn’t just as dedicated to winning even if it means shattering every bone in his damn arm – but the memory of just how much it hurt was still in there.

He almost wished Kirishima was here to guard his back. Shitty Hair could take a punch, at least. Maybe even one of All Might’s. But he didn’t need him to win. All he needed was the chance to get in one good blow of his own this time –

A sound behind him. He whirled around, one sweat-filled hand slinging behind him with even more force. As soon as he could see his target, he would –

Something closed around his wrist. A sudden jerking sensation as his arm was pulled upwards, and the explosion seared harmlessly into the air.

All Might was holding him suspended by one hand. Like a freaking ragdoll. “Ah, young hero! I might have expected you to come face me head-on.”

Instead of replying, he tried to blast the man with his other hand. It joined the other above his head just as quickly, held in that same massive grip. “What are you doing? DON’T RESTRAIN ME, YOU SHITTY – let me fight, old man!”

All Might propped his free hand on his hip. “A brave face, huh? You must really want a rematch. I think your sleeveless uniform’s really going to put you at a disadvantage in this round…”

He cocked his hand, fingers spread stiffly for a grab or chop, and Bakugou wasn’t afraid, he wasn’t, but that didn’t keep his body from flinching, a fruitless attempt to protect himself from the painful blow.

His captor paused. “Young Bakugou, are you – are you frightened of me?”

“No.”

He lowered his arm enough for Bakugou to get his feet on the ground – still up on his toes, but at least he wasn’t hanging there like a sack of meat. “My boy, I must say that I’m very sorry about the end of our last battle. I wouldn’t have stopped you so forcefully if I didn’t think you were about to seriously injure yourself.”

“I’m not fucking afraid, okay? Just hit me already so I can hit back.”

All Might looked unconvinced. “Ah, that’s… good, young hero! Such an indomitable spirit!” His smile grew impossibly wider. “Besides, you won’t come to any harm today!”

“Oh yeah? Then what the fuck are we here to do, talk each other into submission? And what do you mean, I’m at a disadvantage because my uniform doesn’t have sleeves?”

“Ah, yes.” All Might cocked his hand again. His fingers were wiggling this time, and somehow this spiked Bakugou’s apprehension in an entirely different way. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

He’d never put much thought into a costume redesign, but as All Might’s evil hands came in contact with his bare armpits he decided that he needed more armor. Immediately. “W-whahaHAT! THE HEHEHELL?!” His palms were sparking uselessly into the sky, face bent into a helpless grin, and shit he was glad that none of the others in his class were here right now.

It was a relief, almost, not to be thrust into another bloody fight with his hero, but that didn’t stop him from kicking and screaming bloody murder, still on his tiptoes as he strained for some leverage to protect himself. All Might was chuckling. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you smile, young Bakugou! A very good imitation of my trademark, but perhaps we can do better!”

“NOHO – nowecan’t – AHAHA!” His entire torso was helpless under the attack, and his face hurt from smiling so hard. It wasn’t long before he couldn’t take it anymore. “OKAY nonONO not thaHAT just fucking STOP I GIVE I GIVE!”

All Might let him down gently, giving one last triumphant laugh as he patted Bakugou on the back. “An admirable effort, my boy.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” he mumbled into the ground. Was he still grinning? He was, like an idiot. He was an idiot. This was terrible.

Footsteps skidded into the street. “Bakubro, we heard you screaming – laughing? – oh shit, he’s here-”

Bakugou forced his head up. Kirishima and Mina. They’d probably followed him in.

He snorted. “You’re next, morons. Better run if you’re ticklish.”

They’d worked three-quarters of the way through a plan involving Sero’s tape (just. So much tape), Tsuyu’s mucus secretion, and a titanium bondage set from Momo when an explosion roared through the air.

“Kacchan,” Deku gasped. His theory was confirmed when the explosion died down only to be replaced with cursing at only a slightly reduced volume. And then there was the screaming.

“Such darkness,” Tokoyami intoned. “It will swallow us all.”

The screams continued, Bakugou sounding truly desperate. “OKAY nonONO not thaHAT just fucking STOP I GIVE I GIVE!”

Mineta fainted.

The racket tapered off at last, All Might’s laugh echoing tinnily in their ears as they all shivered. “Do you think he’s still alive?” Uraraka whispered. “Man, this is scary.”

Deku’s mind raced. The other students were thinking frantically too, but he had two pieces of information that no one else knew.

The first: In all the videos he’d seen of All Might, he’d never heard of him making a villain beg for mercy. All Might preferred to harm the villains he captured as little as possible, making it easier to the police to detain them without having to provide medical treatment and having the added effect of minimizing property damage.

The second: He’d grown up with Kacchan, who had never been in the habit of screaming in anything other than rage. The only thing that had ever made him howl like that had happened when they were little, and it was – it was –

Oh.

“Midoriya’s about to faint,” Todoroki said.

“Deku?” Uraraka shook him. “What’s going on?”

He swallowed. “We need to split up and hide. Now.”

The class looked at each other in alarm. If even he couldn’t maintain his determination…

They were all going to die.

“We’re not going to die!” Mina gushed. “This is so fun! This is fantastic!”

She and Kirishima were sprinting away from All Might as fast as they could, taking corners at random in hopes that they would lose him. “Yeah, if we can make it back to the others, they’ll definitely be less scared!”

“Are you certain of that, young hero?”

They both skidded to a stop, but Kirishima still crashed into All Might’s massive chest and rebounded onto the ground. Mina shot past them both with a shriek. “All Might!”

The man crouched over him. “I was surprised not to find you with your friends, young Kirishima.”

“We were trying to find Bakugou,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “Mina and I are really bad with directions though, so we got lost until we heard him screaming.”

“It seems you arrived at the perfect time to become my next victim,” the hero intoned, and wow that smile was the most ominous thing he’d ever seen now.

“I – haha –“ Kirishima spluttered, before remembering that he had a quirk. “Ha!” he exclaimed, activating his quirk and feeling immensely relieved as his skin hardened to a rock-like texture. “There’s no way you can tickle me now!”

“It will be more difficult,” All Might mused. Suddenly, he yanked one of Kirishima’s boots off. “I wonder, do your palms and soles harden as well?”

Kirishima, who’d had his quirk for all of twelve years, suddenly couldn’t remember. He glanced frantically at one of his hands and mentally cheered. “Ah, they do.”

All Might frowned, as much as he could frown. “If all your skin hardens, it’s pretty surprising that you can move at all…” Taking Kirishima’s foot gently in his hand, he rotated it right and left. “If this works, then…”

Kirishima felt something brush against his ankle, and without thinking, snickered at the ticklish sensation.

All Might’s grin came back in full force. Hesitantly, Kirishima offered him a weak smile. “Uh… maybe I just have a really cool quirk… and tickling definitely won’t work on me?”

Turned out, his ankles were traitors. A few scratches from All Might and he was already giggling frantically, his other foot drumming against the ground as he tried to roll over and crawl away. Even worse, as he lost focus his quirk began to waver, and despite his effort of squeezing his eyes shut and trying to will the laughter away he could feel his protective shell softening around him.

“Not so tough now, young hero,” All Might teased, and Kirishima groaned internally at the joke as his torture became a thousand times worse. The soles of his feet, the soft skin behind his knees – even squeezing his calf produced a new wave of laughter from him.

He couldn’t take it. No wonder Bakugou had been collapsed on the ground. “Mihihina…. MINA, HELP!”

A pair of pink arms wound themselves around All Might’s neck – Mina, jumping on his back. “Hi! All Might-sensei, can I go next?”

The tickling eased up a little as All Might turned his head to smile at her. “You know, my girl, this is technically a test.”

She pouted. “I know, but… tickling! I already failed my practical anyway, so I’m sure I’ll have to take the remedial classes. I might as well relax and have some fun while I can instead of running! Right, Kirishima?”

Panting, he considered this situation. This was definitely more fun than a fight, and it was really nice after the nightmare of preparing for finals. “Heh… yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I can hardly refuse such a polite request,” All Might proclaimed grandly, “but first, I need to hear a surrender from young Kirishima here!” He reached a hand up to scratch at Kirishima’s ribcage, the boy squeaking as he tried to bat it away.

“I could help,” Mina offered slyly.

“No, yOU CAHAN’T!” Two pairs of hands hovered over him, Mina reaching over All Might’s shoulder with her evilest grin. “Wait, wait, I give!”

All Might roared with laughter, offering Kirishima a hearty embrace as he wobbled to his feet. “A smart decision! She’s very determined!”

He glared half-heartedly at Mina, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “I’m going to get you for this.” He turned to All Might. “Do we get to watch the others?”

“You do have to leave the training ground. However, your Aizawa-sensei’s in the evaluation room. If he permits you to enter, then you can watch with him!”

“Cool! I’ll see you there, Ashido.” He looked around. “Which way is the exit again?”

As he left, Mina prepared to jump off All Might and take off – she felt like running at least a little bit, after seeing how wrecked Kirishima looked. But before she could so much as loosen her grip, All Might spoke in a decidedly villainous voice. “Well, young Ashido, this means it’s your turn now.”

He grabbed her uniform and yanked, and the next thing she knew she had tumbled over his shoulder and straight into his arms with a surprised shout. He dropped to the ground, cross legged, and released her unceremoniously into his lap. “Wow, you move… really fast, sensei!”

All Might chuckled. Evilly. “You said you wanted to relax, young hero? Perhaps you’d like a massage?” His fingers dug into the muscle at the back of her shoulders, and she found herself squealing with laughter as they hunched up instinctively. “Hm… you don’t look very relaxed. Maybe a different technique?” Said technique was a light massaging of her ribcage that had her curled into a shaking ball, giggling her head off. “This seems a bit harsh… are you really having fun, young Ashido?”

“Yehehes!” she giggled, burying her head in his shoulder. “Lohots of fun!”

His breath stirred her hair as he huffed with laughter. “All right, then.” He continued happily, paying special attention to her neck when he discovered that tickling her there produced actual cackles. She lasted for nearly three minutes before slapping at his hands and gasping breathlessly for mercy.

All Might waited until she caught her breath to move, standing them up together. She jumped onto him once more, offering him a hug from the front this time. He returned it slowly, a little surprised but pleased nonetheless. “You’ve had your fun, young Ashido! I hope you’ll apply as much dedication to attaining mastery of your studies!”

“I will”, she promised, climbing to his shoulder and somersaulting off to the ground. “Thanks a lot, All Might-sensei! It’s really nice of you and Aizawa-sensei to do this for us!”

He had to point her in the direction of the exit as well. She left with a cheerful smile, and he smiled in return as he cracked his knuckles.

Time to find his next target.

[tijuana-blues]

I waited until i got to work to type this.

The end of this month crosses the 1 year mark. only one year ago my world was completely different, and on the Verge of Collapse. A little backstory is needed before i continue.

Yesterday was a normal Tuesday for me. Work didnt stress me, no problems arose. My parents texted me and my brother to eat steak for Dinner. The Food was delicious, and i was preparing to head home, hit a Nice Big Dab, play a round of Smite, and hit the sack, seeing as how i hadnt slept in over 24 hours, and the only thing fueling me was the Gram of Coke i bought on Monday lol.

So as i Get up to Put away my dishes and say goodbye, i get a FaceBook Message. Its my Cousin, Isaiah.

He says he got into an Argument with his dad and got kicked out. He needed somewhere to sleep for the night. 

Sure, I tell him. I cant just ignore him if he has nowhere to go. He meets me at my house 5 Minuets later with a backpack full of beer, a bottle of Vodka, and half a loaf of bread and sandwhich meats. My Cousin is crazy lmao, he has the Apache Blood in him more than me. Anyway, since hes staying, i ask if he can find some Wax, so i wouldnt be taking from my Brothers Stash. We meet up a half hour later and pick it up.

so were in my garage, passing the rig back and forth while i Showed him how Smite Worked. And then suddenly he pulls a rolled up baggie out his pocket.

A rolled white Baggie full of powder.

“well we can finish this off, then. since youre letting me Crash here.”

Im not one to ask for payment to crash at my place, but i wasnt gonna say no either lol.

he pours it out on the glass i had been using myself and began to chop it fine with the razor blade i used too.

i had taken a couple pretty good sized dabs in quick order, so i was pretty toasted when he handed me the glass and rolled up dollar. I only saw the 2 lines he had cut on it, so i just assumed he cut two for both of us and i was going first. So i just aim the dollar at the line on the right and Snort away, dragging the dollar quickly, then my Nostril Burst into Flame. I had made a mistake, he cut one line for Me from the PILE on the left.

The PILE i just Tornado’ed up my nose, and was now drinking water to keep my throat from going numb from the river of coke mucus running down it.  I hear my Cousin laughing next to me.

“youre a maniac, Cuz! you railed that whole Fat ass pIle!”

Well Fuck. so much for sleeping. Lighting Coursed through my Veins 5 minuets later, and i started drinking Beers to fight the Drip.

Now Isaiah told me that it was Good Shit, but i hardly take his word for it Nowadays. hes off mark most of the Time. Not this time, Though.

15 Minutes Later im Chainsmoking Cigarettes out front of my Driveway Drinking beer and my Jaw was shaking in my Head.

You know its  Good Shit when it makes someone who spent the last 24 hours doing Coke often, gives him the Jabber Jaw.

me and Isaiah just began to talk bullshit into the NIght. at Around Midnight he was talking about a girl he knew for awhile now liking him. And him liking her too but he didnt think a Relationship would be good at the Time.

Then Youre Face appeared in my Head. Like it always does. I havent Gone a day yet where i dont see you in my head.

I dont know what caused this, Perhaps it was the Coke in my System with the Beer. Or Maybe it made me finally push past my Insecurities.

i Began to talk about how i Felt the Same, how i couldnt really talk to other women or really want to because of the Luggage i was Still Carrying with My Ex, Maria.

And from there i began to talk and Talk and Talk. I couldnt Stop, the Words i had been saying in my head Every day this Past Year came out.  I sat in my Garage all night Long, Until 5:00 AM, Talking to Isaiah About Her.

I didnt hold back, and surprised myself as my eyes stayed dry and my Voice Stone Cold.

I told HIm about How every Woman i ever Dated All Cheated on Me and Left me without a Second Glance.  About How My First Girlfriend Megan roped me into a 3 year Lie and ruined my trust in people. I talked about how the girls i dated afterwards all did the same thing, and how i wished i was joking to him.

I told him about how i blamed myself for each failed relationship, and how id spend nights trying to figure out a way to fix myself. How i felt like i wasnt meant to be Happy with anyone and how i stuffed it all down deep and dealt with it only in my most private moments.

...And Then i told him about How I Met her in my Junior Year of High School. The Class was Anatomy, a class full of 24 teenagers with the worlds Laziest Teacher. It was the First Day, and I walked in to a semi empty classroom with kids walking around, picking out a seat for the rest of the semester. the desks all faced forward, in groups of twos in four rows across. I took a seat on the outside Left side around the Middle. I just dropped my Bag and sat in my Seat, waiting for the class to start, checking my phone every now and Again. 

And the seats began to fill up, the Desk next to me taken by a Tall Nerdy looking kid with blonde hair and Garth Glasses, A KId i Befriended. Daniel Butttruck. Thats not how you spell the last name but thats how it sounds lol. So i named him Butt Truck and thats his name to this day lol. 

The Chair in front of Daniel on the right was taken by a Friend of Daniels, A glasses clad Girl name Aly, And all you need to know about her is that she has a IQ just North of a Bedroom Slipper.

And lastly, A Girl In crutches slowly approached the chair in front of me, and slid into the Chair as the class started. She had a big black velcro Boot strapped to her Leg, and it stuck out into the walkway on our left a bit. She had Dark Hair that was cut into a really cute short style. At first i didnt really notice her until a few weeks into the semester where the Teacher flipped the front two desks around, making Pods of 4. So Now She Faced me and Aly faced Dan on the right. 

Thats When i noticed her.

She had Brown Eyes that shone slightly, like Fine Wood Tarnished to a Dark Brown Mixed with Lighter Browns. Her nose was a small little Button Nose between her prominent Cheekbones that raised when she smiled. She didnt Wear much Makeup, or at least looked like she didnt. I remember to this day about how i would see her smile and laugh a bit as we all got comfortable as a group, me cracking Jokes and being dumb some days, with Days. As time passed i began to Notice her more. I began picking her out in the hallways as i walked to class. Sometimes I would say Hi and see her reaction.She was like me in some ways, wasnt a morning person, and had the same sense of Humor. I remember the time Dan Told us about how he Broke his Leg at Blizzcon.

Yeah, if youre not 12 years old, Dan was the Kid who Broke his Leg in like 2006 at Blizzcon Dancing like a Zombie. He was on Tosh.O or was going to be? ill ask him next time i see him lol. Anyway, hes telling us this story and Maria and I are Freaking Out because we realized he is Internet Famous, and Laughed Like Crazy.

Soon enough, I went from saying hi when i saw her to stopping by her morning class to say hi and chat, since my morning class was down the hall from hers, then sometimes wed walk toward our next class. Mind You, i Was a Junior at 17-going on 18, and Maria was two years younger than me. I never tried to flirt with her, but i enojoyed talking to her. I remember clearly One Winter Morning as i walked in from the Bus Lanes to my Morning Government Class, I see her standing by her Morning classroom, i dont remember what it was. She had her phone and was tapping away on it. I quickened my Pace as i passed her, and called out, “Maria!” she popped her head up and looked at me, and i Flipped her off. She gave a look of Confusion and laughed, walking into her classroom as the bell rang. I remember giggling to myself as i sat down, then asking myself, “Why the fuck did i do that for?? Idiot!”

That was the beginning of my Senior Year, Graduated 2011. We didnt have much contact after i Graduated, while i did the little schooling i did do, and work at that God Awful Produce Factory that first year out of High School.It wasnt until about a year or so later, when i started my job at Wal-Mart and Moved in with Christian. i remember it being Spring When i Saw Her Again. I Was collecting carts to put back in the cart corral, when i heard a Girls Voice Call my Name out in the Parking Lot.

I look out towards Barros Pizza in the plaza and i saw her Again.

It was a Bright Sunny Day, Not too Hot yet in the Summer. Her Hair had grown a bit longer, but still had its shape. She wore a Bright Yellow SunDress with Sunflowers on it. I remember how Cute i thought it was on her. I remember this moment so clearly because it was in that moment i felt something inside my heart. Like a Spark running through it.

I smiled and walked out to meet her, she had two of her other friends with her, they had been eating at Barros. Maria Hugged me and Asked me how i had been, and i told her about how i started working there and i live on my own now, looking into colleges. We chatted for a few minutes before i had to go back to work. I asked for her number to text with and, she walked off. As i went back inside i remember the times in Anatomy with our little group, and how i used to enjoy chatting with her. it also made me Remember the day i flipped her off, Years ago. As i lay down in bed that night, I remember thinking of her and telling myself, “you know, i think she would be an awesome Girlfriend.”

Months Passed and i hadnt had much Contact with Maria. I had my own problems at the time and i remember that period of my life to be so unstable i didnt want to date a girl and Live there lol. But i would text her every now and then and wed talk for a bit. I remember her dating someone at the time, and living with them. One Night in Particular I noticed she was posting on Tumblr and it seemed like she was Upset. So i Texted her and asked if she was doing alright. She said she was fine, but shes too much like me, i say that just to get people to leave me alone. I text back that she can talk or vent to me, that i didnt mind. And she did. She began to talk about her Relationship with her BF and how they rarely see each other because of work schedules and School. She told me she was thinking of just packing her things and leaving while he was at work. I told her, “Do what you have to do. if you arent happy, why are you there?”

i texted about a week or so later. She left him. She Began talking about moving to Portland With a Friend, and Getting out of AZ. I remember being bummed out at the news, my feelings for her had began to grow. I decided to step away for awhile, let those feelings go away. It must have been around 3 or  4 months later, or longer? But anyway, i see her posting on Tumblr Again, and i send her a DM asking how shes been, and if she moved to Oregon. She replied back and said her Friend Flaked, and that she really didnt want to go anyway. She says to text her, and i Ask for her Number Again. 

From then on, we talked semi often every couple days, more and more often as time passes. Finally, one Day i ask her to hangout sometime, go to the arcade, play air hockey. We had been talking pretty often by then, but no obvious flirting or anything. We meet up at the arcade and we take turns playing different games, Giant Connect Four, Air Hockey, Ticket Games. She bought me a little T rex with her tickets, i named him Revan. Then we just sat on a couch and People watched those who walked in. I remember feeling her arm against mine as we sat together, and Me leaning in Quickly and kissing her cheek, and Seeing her Smile.

About 4 or 5 more little Dates Later, I ask her if she would be serious, because i wanted to be.

Her Face Brightened as i saw her give the biggest Smile i ever seen from her, and she said Yes.

I told Isaiah how as the first year passed, i had been drunk off the happiness i had at the time. As i learned more about Maria, the more attractive she was to me. She is unlike any woman ive ever met before, or have met since. I told him about how i talked about her to my friends all the time, how smart she was, how she volunteered at a Funeral Home Embalming Bodies and playing with Corpses like a Badass. 

Then came my 22nd Birthday, on the first year we were dating in 2014. I didnt even want a present from her, she was all i wanted any day. I dont know why i never told her things like that. She Baked me Fudge Brownies after work on the week of my birthday, and i was more than happy.

Then she pulled a box out of Nowhere, Smiled That Warm Smile i Had come to Adore, and Said “Happy Birthday Babe!”

Before that Moment, i Cant recall a time that i was genuinely Surprised like that. I remember the words stopping in my throat and jumbled with the ones i had tried to say Next. Genuine Excitement as i opened the Long Brown Box. I opened the top flap and pulled the Styrofoam Casing to the Rectangle stick inside, Bright White with a Black Line going Down along the Length of it. And inbetween the space in the Line at the Hilt, Was the Red and White Sigil of the Uchiha.  

A fucking Uchiha Sword! Like i was in actual Disbelief when i Realized. And what i explain next i never told anyone other than Isaiah that night.

I had to Try my Hardest to keep from Crying in that moment. Not because i loved the Gift she had gotten me, and how she made it a surprise, Something no one has done for me before. 

It was because i remember a couple weeks before,as we scrolled Netflix one evening, i Saw Naruto on the list. I geeked out and asked you if you ever watched it, and began geeking out about it to her. I Made her watch some of my favorite episodes, and she would playfully Tease me about it. As My birthday neared, i came home from work one day to watch some Naruto Myself, and Booted up Netflix.

Someone went about 4 episodes ahead of where we Left off Last. I was at Work, and it was her Netflix Account. She actually started watching it because of how much i told her i liked it. Then She picked out something SHE thought i would like, instead of asking what I wanted like My Lazy Ass does.

No one had ever shown interest in Me like that before, and it touched me right in that moment. I blocked all emotion and was all smiled as i Hugged her Maria and told her how much i loved it. That thing was glued to my hip for like 2 months straight, i would get high after work and watch old Samurai and Ninja Movies, and act out the sword fighting with it. I even slept with it for the first Week.

In the days after that, i saw Maria in a whole new Light. I always knew the Maria who had her walls up to Anyone, the “i really dont care,” attitude she had when she was grumpy in the mornings. I got a glimpse at the Maria That was Behind that wall, The Real Maria.

Who Was sweet, considerate, and Generous. Loving and who could make me laugh.

Ever since that i saw that small glimpse of Her, My heart swelled and pumped blood thrice as hard, and my hands would shake and my mouth would get dry.

I was Falling in Love with you.

Hours have Passed, its Around 2 AM. The Line of Coke has me at Full Speed still, having plenty to say still. Isaiah just sits and drinks, giving the odd acknowledgement every couple of Sentences.

The months after my Birthday have passed, and things seem great between Maria and I. If i only knew what i know now.....

If i had just Put more Faith in You, and in my Heart. It Kills me to know how things would be if i had just manned up and told you how you made me feel....

After the first year, the strain began. We both worked. I had the accounting Job with the Contracting Company, and Maria was Working at a local Kids clothing store, and Volunteered at the Funeral Home, Along with her classes, AND she tutored.

i understood she had a full plate alot of the the time, not to mention the headaches and pains she would have. And that time of the month the poor girl was in pain Constantly.  So i didnt get upset or mad when she didnt have time to visit or was too tired from work. we were always talking.

But eventually the Strain and My past would come to Signal the End. it was August, 2015. My brother had fallen Behind on his Mortage Payments on his house, and needed to make a payment ASAP or he would lose the House. Naturally i gave him all the spare cash i could to keep a roof over our heads.

Unfortunately, It left me Penniless during the Month of August, which Marias Birthday was in.  I Felt Like Complete Shit but i was in a corner. I apologized to her and promised to make it up to her. It wasnt a big deal to her, but i just hated that it made me look like i dont give a shit. 

I had an Ace an hole, Though. i Saved a link to a site that makes Custom Rings that Maria had posted in Tumblr that she really liked and wanted. I ordered it and did it early enough to get it before Christmas.  It was already Too Late.

Maria was beginning to grow distant, not replying as soon or as often before. the replies getting shorter and shorter, the tone colder and colder. As we approached My birthday again, I plan a Group event with my friends and family, cause last year we went Paintballing and Maria wasnt there, she had work and class.

So im thinking of what i could do for a group, and i see that Charlie Murphy is doing a show ON my Birthday, a Friday! It was Perfect. I called and Reserved seats for everyone, ordered Bottle Service, i was so excited!

I texted Maria Telling her About the Comedy show and Date of My Birthday. She says she cant make it cause of work, she gets off at around 12. I was Bummed, but I understood. 

The Big Day comes and it starts off great. Work was a Breeze, and Maria greeted me with a Warm Happy Birthday first. As the day progressed Everything seemed Normal. As evening sets, we all get ready to go to the show. 8 o clock, Showtime!

it was a Fantastic Show, me and all my Friends and Family drinking and Laughing our Asses off. The only thing missing was Maria. I texted her before the show saying id text her after it was over. it woulda been near to midnight, and she coulda met up with us. The show ends around 1040, and the manager says we can finish off the bottles in the bar. Me and my Friends stay, and start getting Tanked. 

Midnight Comes, and i text Maria asking if she was off yet and if she wanted to come meet us. Time passes, and no reply.

she probably went home and crashed, she was probably tired, I think, as it wasnt Abnormal for her to Nap during the Day or whenever she could. So i check Facebook, and it Hits me.

A friend Tagged her and some friends at Westgate, not Long ago.

My heart Goes into FreeFall in My stomach.

Why would she be at Westgate After work? did she Ignore my Text...? why...?

My insecurites flared, and i assumed the worst. I remember everything going Quiet around me, My heart Hammering in my chest, blocking out all other noise.

i Shouldve just called. i Shouldve had more Faith in you, and what i Meant to you.

When every girl you date cheats on you and leaves, in a Row, it was hard not to assume the worst, when the worst is what always happens to you.

I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as i get up to go outside the bar. She went to go out with her friends, and she knew it was my Birthday Today....

It didnt make any sense to me, it all seemed so unbeliveable. But ive been wrong before. And add the excessive Alcohol, you get a Recipe for a Terrible Mistake. 

I wasnt Dumb, I knew Maria and I were Drifting apart, Our schedules getting more and more hectic. My job stressing me the fuck out day after day, Marias Packed Schedule.

I was so fucking stupid. Why did i wait? Why didnt i just drop to my knees and tell her when i look at her eyes, i feel like i could do anything. That when she was in my arms i Felt like i needed to become a Better man for her. Why did i wait?

December. Jerkoff Hipster making her ring is falling behind, gonna need a couple more weeks. delivery date mid Janurary. I Threw A fucking Fit. i could feel it all slipping away, no matter what I did. Why did i Wait?

I was so Terrified of Opening up to you, and you not feeling the same way. The Thought of looking into your eyes and telling you that i was in love with you, and i wanted to be with you forever, or until i died. I was Terrified of looking into your eyes and Shooting me down. The texts got shorter and shorter. only strengthening My doubts and Fears. 

Christmas. The Ring wasnt Ready yet. Another Fucking Embarassment. She got me a Captain Phasma Painting and some Marvel Shirts. I tell you, “look, i ordered this is time to get it for Christmas, but the Guy Got Delayed and it wasnt ready yet, but... i showed you the Ring on my Phone. 

It was the last smile i Saw on you in Person.

So many oppurtunities, wasted. so fucking Stupid. I promise to make it up to you.

Down to One Word Answers, or no Reply at all.

Janurary 2016. Hiroshima.

Valentines Day is Coming, Ill have the Ring Then! and i ordered a Cute little Stuffed Corgi to go with Some Flowers and a nice Romantic Date! i order everything and wait. 

You came over one week, and seemed in such a foul mood, i couldnt place it. I thought you were in Pain Probably. I tried to cuddle you, kiss your cheek, you clearly dont want the affection. I try something alittle more...Adult. 

You Grabbed my Wrist, and Yanked my Hand away, throwing it off you. I was in Shock. I still remember the look you Gave me that night, Clear as day. That Piercing Glare, Looking Right at me. Pure Anger. and Pain.

Youre replies, in thier Rarity, lacked no padding for thier sharp edges. I believe its all Over Now.

Late January 2016.

You came over one Last time. We had Sex one last time. I remember grabbing you after the first go around as you got up and laid you back down. I was such a Fool.

The Ring was Delivered that Weekend. Monday i text you to see when your free to visit next, your ring is ready and i wanted to see if it fit correctly. You reply your busy tomorrow. i ask with what? you reply with: Concert. i ask What concert. You say: Tribal Seeds.

You stopped Replying After That. The Next Day i texted you again asking when can you come hangout and see your Ring? 

You Broke up with me after that. 

It felt like everything around me had fallen below me, and all that was left was the dark and Silence. Typing about it now makes the Hole in my heart Ache. I remember how hard the Rain Poured that Night.....As i Cried along with it.

And it was only the Beginning for me.

The first weeks after that day are a blur to me. Either Too Many Drugs Or too Many Drinks, take your pic. i was Broken. One moment you were there, you were mine, and i was gonna fix everything come Valentines Day. I had a Nice Romantic Dinner planned, then a Scenic Walk where i would show you the ring and tell you that even though were having a Rough Patch right now, that i loved you and i wanted to do everything i can to prove it to you.

But you Had other plans didnt you?

God i can still feel my heart when I saw pictures of you and Him....I dont know how to Describe how Painful it was to see. It was only Feb, and you were already with someone else? Posting Valentines Shit? I cried for hours, I begged for you not to be like the others, To just leave me for Someone Else so Fucking Fast, like i was Nothing to you.

But thats how it went down, though. Didnt it?

Friends for over 5-6 Years, Lovers for 2.

I couldnt even get a goodbye.....Just a Text. Was that all i was worth, to you?

You got with him within Weeks of Dumping me. Yet your Tumblr youre heartbroken and sad. It was like i had Entered into some NIghtmare.

within the First Two Weeks, I dropped four Hits of Acid at Once. I wanted to Escape. Instead i jumped right into it. I see you posting on Tumblr. Sad, Depressing things. Your Tags show how you deleted the texts from your phone, even though you didnt want to. How you could literally see in your texts of your declining Affection for me. In the end, It was my own doing.

With the Courage of Acid, I messaged you. I ask if your okay, and you ask why, like i dont see your posts, like i dont possibly know why you could be feeling so sad. Even then, at the end, you couldnt be honest with me.

I ask you Maria cant we please Talk?

You say About what? Like you thought i was stupid.

And thats when i just finally, for the first time, although Far too Late. I opened up to you.

I remember Anatomy.

I Remember You At Barros that Day

I Remember Air Hockey at the Arcade.

I remember The Birthday Gift.

The Words poured out then like they do now, The Spark you set in my Heart was the most important thing to me.

Whatever i needed to do to make it work, no matter what, just please dont give up on me.....

You may as well as shot me dead with your reply.

“if you had said that before, things would be Completely different.”

“saying it Now doesnt Mean Much to me now”

Those words still Haunt Me, A Year Later. And it is not even the worst to come.

You Had the verdict long before i even knew. You Found my “dating Profile” Online, and didnt say anything. just let it stew inside you. As we grew apart it hurt to see you just blatantly ignore my messages. So i used that profile to look at women, nothing else. It was only on My Birthday i Night i Made a Mistake i Will Regret forever. Maria wasnt there, she was with her friends. she didnt want to come here, or answer my texts. she chose to be with my friends. I was always the girls’ Second Choice. I got Drunk. I got Upset. I wanted Petty Revenge. I cheated. I Dont even Remember her Name or what she really looked like. Never should have done it.

A month Passes. March. I ask to still be friends, and how i missed you. We start talking again, almost like how it used to be. Tagging each other in posts again.But i also See him. Concerts, posts, tags. It tore me apart. Some Days i would wake up at 4 AM from my alarm for work, and Your Face would be the first thing i see in my head. The Tears would flow before i could even open my eyes for the first time. I try to get you to meet up with me, so we can talk. After i opened up that night you agreed we should talk. Then you just changed your mind....You Said give it time, walk the path, smell the Roses, and maybe we can start again...

My heart is Pumping like a cannon as i go into detail for Isaiah, how i became a madman, was so motivated by the mere notion that MAYBE there was a CHANCE we could work it out later. I couldnt be stopped. I drank Nothing but Water, ate only Chicken, Raw Veggies, Salmon and Fish, and cut out ALL sugar and breads. I dropped 30 pounds in a Month, and was in great shape for a fight at the gym i trained at. I would watch these Inspirational videos everymorning at 3 AM, just to run for an hour. I posted everything on Snapchat, Only Because i Wanted Maria to see it. I was so Optimistic...

April 2016.

Family Vaction in Mexico. A week with a private beachfront Villa and as much Booze as i can drink. i go in with Gusto. The Villa Has Wifi, can keep up with your posts.tagged me in some. Then the posts about him.

I hated how it made me feel to read them. He had what i wanted for us. Our own Place. Just Us. and a Dog.

He took My Place and it Ate me Alive from the Inside.

I stayed up all night, drinking tequila by the shot, playing Toro Y moi and Chain smoking. I watched the reflection of the moon dance on the waves, and thought of you. When i hear the Ocean, and nights when the Moon is Large and Beautiful, i think of you. 

I Broke that night......

I knew there was no Path, no flowers to smell.

There was no Second Chance.

I Lost her.

And i couldnt get her back. She didnt want me anymore.

she wants someone else now, and when i Think about it I have to imagine Flames burning the thoughts away.

I guess after that night, i lost my motivation, i Wised up.

And i knew i had to come clean to you. It was the hardest thing i ever did.

It hurts so much still, looking back. Im So sorry...

Even after i hurt you that day, i still saw a sliver of you come through your walls.

I begged for you in time to forgive me, and over time we could be friends again. Let me earn back your trust, understand i made a Terrible Mistake and im willing to do anything to make it work.

Most people would have told me to go to hell and never talk to them again.

But not you. Not even then.

You Said, “ Maybe in time i will forgive you. maybe i wont. Depends on how i feel. for now you should make yourself scarce.”

I was stunned,,,those words hung on me for months after.  Did you really mean that, Maria?

And that was the last time i heard from you for awhile...i remember Breaking down at work....The Silence hurt the most. No Texts, No Posts, Nothing.

Not only did i lose the woman i Love, I lost a dear Friend as well...

When i Returned home, i Quit Training, I quit the fight, I quit Dieting. That deep, Dark Hole you brought me out of, Maria.....when i saw you that day....I went Right Back in.

since May 2016 i was in a hole that i could not get out of. sure, i made it look like i was living the life on snapchat, but in reality, on the inside, i was so broken.  Then Life Decided to kick me while i was down, and Took my Bonnie away from me. As if it couldnt get worse. My Brother and I Bawled as they put her to sleep. I was so fucking Lost.....

So i texted the one person who maybe might put up with my Bullshit....You.

and you were nice, you coulda kicked me when i was down and wouldve been justified. But you heard me out....More of that Real you shining through.

It is 4 AM now. i have spent all night telling this story to Isaiah, who has listened intently this whole time.

I tell him how after the months of Bonnies Death, I just didnt leave the house. Tried my Best to leave you be and not see shit that would kill me on the inside. The days became Quiet and Lonely. your presence in Tumblr becomes less and less active. 

I hardly see you or your posts anymore...

i harden my heart and try move on.

Then i see your posts about your health. the doctor scare, Lupus.

I felt so bad, and worried i wanted to see if you were okay, even though i knew you hate my guts.But i worried and Worried and finally said fuck it and just sent a message saying i heard what youre going through, im sorry, i hope you get better soon, if you need anything, please ask

I wasnt expecting a Response, Yet you sent one : Thanks for Caring.

couldnt expect more than that, so i leave it be.

That Night, Maria makes a post.

Its About me. 

My heart jumped into my throat and got stuck. My hands shook as i held my phone.

I didnt completely erase you out of my life.

i still think about you, from time to time.

Thank you for texting me today.

thank you for still caring about me.

Despite the shit i post on here, I still Care about you too.

And No its not the drugs Talking.

I read and Re-Read that post thousands of times in the following months. On Bad Days, Days where i wanted to give up. I read that post and it kept me going. First time reading it i Cried for hours. It was as if God heard a prayer.

To see you say that you still cared.....you will never know what that did. how that felt for me. Even Now it makes me tear up.

My heart didnt hurt as much after that, it healed some of it. I was always confused with Maria. One moment she says she cares, then comes off as your nothing to her. i never knew which was which.

and now, as the year came to face my Birthday again. There was only one thing i wanted. truly wanted. and if i got it, getting nothing else from anybody wouldnt even fucking matter.

I just wanted you to say Happy Birthday.

I didnt think you would. i thought you would have moved on by now, enjoying youre new life with him. I couldnt bleed about it any longer. i took the pieces of my heart and piece it back together again. i began to accept reality. and the pain began to dull.

NOV. 20th 2016

Saturday.

Woke up Early and went out to the woods to do some shooting. all day there. Head back for some Missouri BBQ, and get ready to get Blackout drunk Tonight. Night Goes well, Got trashed, had fun, Fought a couple dudes, enjoyed myself.

Got back to Devins Late that night. Eat Chocolate BDAY cake drunk.

Head off for bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the time. 9:40 PM

She isnt gonna say it. Oh well. 

go to your blog to lookup your post to make me feel better.

Read the words, smile and Remember. Pain Begins to set in. 

back out of tags to leave, see another tag you never seen before.

“C and I”

click tag link.

Heart Explodes in my Chest, Breath Frozen in throat.

Its a picture. of us. Smiling. 

the Caption Read:” I know i have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings and stuff but this guy right here means the world to me. Hes sweet, caring and Funny and---”

I couldnt read the Rest. I began to Cry Non Stop, Like someone Just Told Me my mother was Murdered.

I couldnt stop it, couldnt control myself. The pain was so much. Each one more painful to look at. How did i never see them? How??

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt keep taking the pain of it. I deserved to be Happy too..

its been two months since that day.

its been over a year since i last seen you with my own eyes, heard your voice....

And now we reach the end of this story. i force myself to block out the memories, remember nothing.

I have to move on with my life....

and yet....after saying all that Isaiah, which After i had finished,  8 hours had passed. 8 hours i poured out my soul. such a weight had been lifted, it felt so good for someone to hear me out...

so i finish this sad story, and Isaiah asks me one question: How do you feel about her now?

I stayed quiet for a good amount of time. i mulled it over. every memory. Good. the Bad. The Ugly.  and i finally settled upon:

I miss her, Isaiah. Not like a lover misses his spouse, but like a friend who helped another Grow.

I hope to see you again one day, Maria.