#im just wondering about the demographics and stuff

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/748698755825582080/since-weve-been-on-the-same-topic-for-quite-some?source=share

From my experience, it's both the projection stuff + cis writers responding to what's popular in fandom, but I also think some of it is because when trans fic started getting really popular, you had a lot of trans BNFs in various fandoms who insisted that writing these characters a particular way was THE right way to do it or you're offending them personally. I think that tends to be disproportionately likely with people who prefer pre-op or non-op vs. prefer post-op or don't care, both because if you care more you're angrier about it, but also people in the first category are more likely to be newly out (and thus in that obsession with their identity stage that plagues every LGBTQ+ person when we first come out) and younger and more online. So they're more likely to fit into the demographic of "people who obsess over what fic other people are writing" or "antis" in general.

I remember in Yuri on Ice fandom circa 2017-18, there was this one newly out pre-op trans guy who projected hard on to Yuuri and therefore insisted that any fic with cis Yuuri was hurting him personally. But it went beyond that.... Yuuri also had to be a bottom, because he was a bottom, and also this guy seemed to think that having a vagina meant you were automatically a bottom if your partner had a dick? Which made the whole thing kind of funny in a way... imagine declaring yourself the spokesperson for all trans men in your fandom (which he clearly did see himself as that, he clearly saw what he was saying as the One Right Way To Do Transmasc Rep) and yet being seemingly unaware that strap-ons are like, a thing that exists in the world, lol. That pegging exists. (Or at least, it would've been funny if he wasn't an obnoxious anti who harassed people, and had this parasocial fixation on someone who wrote a lot of bottom Yuuri and age-reversal Victuuri which he decided was the absolute worst thing for some reason.)

So just from that, I do have to wonder if some of these patterns in writing trans fic are just more popular vs. they're baked into fandom because some obnoxious individuals in a variety of fandoms (because he definitely wasn't the only person and YOI wasn't the only fandom where I saw that shit, though he was the worst) at a particular time were insisting that was the one right way to do things.

I was able to resist what he was saying even though I'm cis, just because I've had enough trans guy friends IRL to know that what he was describing as the One Right Way to Write Trans Sex is suuuuuper dysphoria inducing for a lot of trans men. Like, a lot of people who write M/M trans fanfic would be floored at how many pre-op trans men find that PIV is just completely off-the-table for them. They don't want to be penetrated at all, at least in the vagina. So much trans fic treats PIV as the gold standard. Like, it's weird to think gay trans men wouldn't be into butt stuff as much as cis gay men are? Am I the only person who thinks it's kinda weird how often that's assumed?

I have no idea what the state is like for trans women in F/F - even though I read a lot of F/F, there seems to be way less trans fic for whatever reason, even the stuff written by trans women IME seems to prefer to focus on cis women or at least women who both have vaginas - but while I've known fewer of them than trans men who just really don't want to use their vaginas during sex, a fair number of trans women just really don't want to use their penises during it either. Like, people, there's a reason that "bottom surgery" exists.

--

[possibilistfanfiction]

Genuine question, how did you figure out or realize the whole being butch thing? What does being butch mean to you?

idk if it was like… figure out? more so just putting a name to something i’ve always felt or known about myself. i came out as a lesbian, then i came out as nb, then i was like well i want gender affirming care so that must mean i am Trans™️, & it’s like… none of those words or kind of… vibes (lol sorry) quite fit? i don’t feel like a cis lesbian, & i actually kind of despise non-binary as a concept (don’t send asks abt this i won’t answer them lol, do ur own thing if u love it that’s cool); i think for me personally Transness is a little too serious & intense & limiting to how i feel. & im a white afab person in a smaller body, & honestly…….. we are often the wooooorst demographic of trans ppl lmao so i just didn’t even rly like some spaces i was in. i got the most important gender affirming care i wanted, i moved & i got married, i got to work remotely etc

& so just sitting with all of that it was like. ok well a lot of neoliberal queer spaces piss me the fuck off; i’m not cis, but i’m not TRANS in the way a lot of ppl (very validly) feel; i do Not like nb. i’d read stone butch blues before, i have a degree in critical theory where i worked a loooot w queer theory, obviously i’ve written abt queerness for ages lol. so then i was just like ah. butch. dyke. YAH! sweet. 100/10 feels amazing i love it

& i think for me i love those words most bc they’re rooted in really radical belief that i have. they carry an ethic with them that, at its best & most intersectional ofc, i want to act on, all the time. i want to show up for people & be protective & tough & strong but i also so deeply want to be nurturing & nourishing. i want to allow myself to be nourished & cared for. i think it feels rly wonderful to have a word for transgressive gender that sums it all up bc people lived it before me. they made that very specific & particular space to experience femininity in a way that doesn’t feel like a noose.

i think also butchness is so expansive! something that never sat right w me abt the way we talk abt transness in the west is that i don’t think there are ‘pre’ & ‘post’ transition selves. like… i’ve never been Not Me? like i came out of the womb a dyke. all i did my entire childhood is run around in the mountains, catalogue leaves, play w my dog, read nancy drew, & avidly watch + play any women’s soccer i could. i loved to fish & mountain bike, i grew up in the desert so gardening to me was a miracle. i never cared abt gender at all beyond like ‘well i guess i’m a girl & the women i admire just won a world cup, they’re badass’ & that was it. i liked boys clothes bc they were practical & felt better, but i just. didn’t think about it. ppl called me a tomboy which was fine, i liked scout in to kill a mockingbird so whatever. but i never felt “non-binary” & i certainly never felt like a boy.

& i am… still just like that lmao. i hated my boobs, point blank day 1 lol, but that doesn’t have to mean i’m trans, or that i’ve somehow changed in a way that requires separation from who i’ve been my whole life. i HATE the language of ‘dead/lived’ name; i hate the weird expectation that u should allow the state to have all of ur gender stuff on record (no fucking thank you, y’all can keep my legal name & i will be flying under the radar lol). so i think western transness rly just. irritates me. doesn’t fit. hasn’t ever fit.

so butchness is like. i am 8 year old jude, i’m just older now. if this makes sense ur butch lmao but. it’s this rly free space to play w masculinity in a way that doesn’t necessitate western transness, & also doesn’t necessitate a separation from maternalism, which i fundamentally believe in. i don’t even rly think of my own care as “gender affirming” & more just like… essence affirming. i didn’t want top surgery so my body could be read as male; i wanted it so i could look like me. i want my clothes to feel & fit in a Very particular way bc that’s how i like them. it’s abt practicality, efficiency, comfort.

& lastly to me butchness has a remarkable space for tenderness that masculinity on its own just cannot hold. like. it’s abt being protective & strong, sure, but it’s in service of others. always always always. so sometimes that looks like communicating calmly, sometimes that looks like infinite small acts of service for ur friends or ur partner. when i think of settling into myself it’s more about returning to who i knew i was when i was a kid, when i was the only person my dog liked & how it felt to sit on the swings when the sun was setting after the monsoon; it’s allowing myself to love like that — caring, & quiet, & full.

ultimately to me butchness is about devotion, more than anything in the world. devoted to safety, devoted to community. no one is devoted the way dykes are bc it’s how we survive. it’s how we have always survived — the steadfastness, the faith, the joy, even thru suffering, to not be boxed in. to help each other. to be funny & kind & thoughtful & not reject the absolute best parts of womanhood for the sake of a western box. to demand care. it’s so beautiful. devotion.

tldr it’s the best

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

ima be honest, i kinda hate inside out 2

my dislike towards it doesn't really have a whole lot to do with the quality of the movie, though. it's more to do with personal reasons

but it does seem like a perfectly good movie, right? the issues it tackles may be overdone but it tackles them in a well thought out way that can really tug at a person's heartstrings, right? puberty, being a teenage girl, all that jazz. it does it well, right?

and i mean, yeah, it does. which is why ive been so confused over why i despise this movie so much. i watch it and i get depressed, and not in the 'this is so relatable' kind of way, but in the 'i just straight up hate this' kind of way. i didn't know why for a while. it seems fine, it's not the kind of movie i typically enjoy, but it's still good. it's written well, it's a fine movie. but i still hated it, and i haven't been able to figure out why exactly.

at first i thought it was because i was sick of the disney and pixar's obnoxious family friendliness and their fear of producing anything original. though, even their original stuff i find pretty obnoxious now. just this whole idea of appealing to the widest demographic and being all family friendly, it gets to me, even if this movie does tackle some deeper issues.

and for a while now, ive figured this must be why i hate this movie so much. it's not that it's bad, it's just that im sick of disney and pixar. and i wasn't entirely wrong, that is a part of the reason, but there's more to it than that. and i think i can finally put my finger on exactly why i hate this movie so much.

it's to do with the issues it tackles. growing up, being a teenager, puberty. and you might think that maybe im just uncomfortable with those topics, and maybe the fact that i hated it so much is a sign that the movie got me to feel the right feelings. and if you think that, you're wrong.

the reason it gets to me as much as it does is because of how mellowed down these themes feel to me. growing up, going through puberty, it's a rough experience for just about anyone, it's where a lot of shit happens. it's something a lot of people can relate to. and the version of it depicted in inside out 2 is just so basic. it explores not much out of the ordinary, one of the biggest problems in riley's life is her anxiety over whether she'll make the hockey team or not. i wish my teenage years were as simple as hers, i wish i had her life, it's making this out to be such a bad thing when i wish i had a life like this.

and i can already hear you typing up a response being all "well ackshually, just because someone's problems aren't as bad as yours, doesn't mean you should dismiss them. why are you downplaying other people's problems? getting into the hockey team may not seem like a big problem to you, but it could feel like the end of the world for someone else."

and you'd be right, kind of. however, there's more to it than me just being resentful of a movie character with a better life than me. it does get to me, it really does get to me. but that's not the end of the things in inside out 2 that get to me. you know what the thing that really gets to me is?

coming back to how family friendly pixar and disney are, and how they're always trying to appeal to the widest demographic. because the problems riley has in this movie, they're considered family friendly, but not just family friendly, but non-controversial. dieted down into a digestible format that has such a small chance of offending anyone. riley is designed to be likeable to a wide demographic, the problems in her life are designed to be inoffensive to the widest demographic, the messaging of the movie is designed to be agreeable to the widest demographic.

and i see this movie, and i see all the people laughing along, crying at the sad moments, rooting for our protagonists. at a movie about a teenager dealing with teenage problems. and when i see all this, when i see this movie, i can't help but wonder, what would people think if they made a movie about the kinds of problems i had to deal with as a teenager?

and well, there's not much point wondering, because they're never going to go that far. or at least not disney or pixar or illumination or any of those other so-called 'family friendly' movie studios. because if they did go that far reactions wouldn't be so one-sided. depicting the experiences of this average teenage girl is marketable, but depicting my own experiences, even if all the non-pg stuff were left out, would be considered incredibly offensive. it would not be marketable, or be able to reach a wide demographic. people would not generally care as much as they do for these generic and widely applicable teenage puberty problems.

look at turning red for example, that movie was also designed to appeal to a large demographic, to be (mostly) non-offensive, and fit into the box of what's considered family friendly. it's not much different from inside out 2. but it dared to acknowledge the mere existence of periods, and people were OUTRAGED just from that tiny acknowledgement.

if a short acknowledgement of periods in a pixar movie is enough to get people as angry as turning red did, then a pixar movie about anything resembling my life would probably get someone murdered.

and that's depressing.

and when i watch inside out 2, that's all i can really think about.

average teenage girls going through average teenage girl puberty problems, or really anyone who has experienced what riley is goes through in this movie, how lucky are you to have your experiences deemed suitable for a general audience?

yeah, it's not the best thing to be lucky about. life can still suck for you, i know. this doesn't make things much better. but i think i can still very damn well call that a privilege.

inside out 2; another pixar sequel. not bad at all, in fact it's quite good. im not denying that it's good. it is good, okay? but i hated it. i. really. fucking. hated. it.

[scoops404]

i feel horrible. I feel betrayed and I’m depressed but strangely not surprised?

Its not even, not even about who is worse or whatever, i just- I heard connor eats pants talk, he said how george and the dream team, (even if they don’t acknowledge it,) have a large young girl audience. That’s the part of the audience that helped them grow.(And id say the audience who was the most emotionally, young girls or queer people who a lot of the time grew up presenting female or queer people in general, who are also at higher risk of getting used or assaulted ) and how its disgusting and disappointing to see them drop these weird points about consent and i (as a part of that demographic myself) - that really hit me in some way. That really hit me and something about it rings in my chest with hurt an realisation. It makes me incredibly sad, and yet it makes me realise stuff.

That point to me seems incredibly important.

That fact makes their statements seem ignorant..

Im slowly coming to terms with how I personally want to move forward with acknowledging their content, the content that was genuinely helping my depression and was part of my routine. So I didn’t formulate this to be some sort of statement, but more of a “oh” moment that i wanted to share

These men don’t feel like they care about the large audience they hurt.. young girls, and how their respective statements about consent could affect idk their world view? :/

Something i got reminded of when reading tumblr after watching that connor tiktok clip of his stream.

I see where you're coming from and what you're feeling is valid and it's entirely up to you if you want to stay or not

I just think that we've seen a lot of examples of them being good to women, in a professional sense as well as personally (as recent as Sapnap's birthday stream we saw George direct the camera away from Sylvee's skirt while she was climbing the wall). This is not a defense of George's behavior regarding the Caiti situation in any way, shape, or form, but we also can't erase the good behavior that we have witnessed, you know?

Like, I've left fandoms for petty reasons and big reasons (i used to love shane dawson, I used to love david dobrik, i went on a weird hate watch spree for a couple depressing months in like 2018 for the paul brothers--i'm not proud) and when a cc's behavior becomes clear, I drop their ass. Even through the drituation, I've never seen behavior from the dreamteam that I thought was hateful against anyone and I believe they've always shown that they want to do what's right when they do mess up.

Do I think they have room to grow? Yeah, absolutely. But I don't think they secretly hate women or are exploiting us. ((no matter what Hannah is saying now, they have had many close female friends for quite a while--Puffy, Sylvee, Gia--and I feel like those people wouldn't have stuck around if they were shitty to women constantly when off camera))

I don't think this incident with Caiti is just another in a long line of dubious consent situations (not that I can know). If I thought they were doing this behind the scenes all the time, I'd nope out. I'm hoping that they can take this as a learning moment and find greater nuance in consent. We are always learning and Dream, the most, has always shown he's willing to take criticism and realize why something was wrong and not do it again. We've seen this from George too when he apologized for old screen shots with slurs. They aren't perfect, none of us are, but I have hope that they'll move forward with a clearer idea.

To be quite honest, I have seen the conversations around consent morph in my lifetime. It's a wonderful thing to see women speaking up and being believed and consequences coming down on men when, historically, that has almost never been the case. We need to keep having these conversations and reinforcing the line, no matter how uncomfortable it can be.

As far as dream team not caring about their audience, I can't really disagree with that right now lol. I certainly don't really feel cared for, but I'm here more for my friends now at this point.

Keep thinking through what this means for you and how you want to move forward for yourself. there's nothing wrong with putting them down for a while. I see a trend of former fans burning the ground as they leave, but like, you can just leave or take a little hiatus from dreamteam, and that's absolutely fine! You can always change your mind and come back, or you can find something else and get super invested in that. No one is going to track what you're doing and judge you, I promise.

As far as content to help you through depression, I can't recommend Brittany Broski and Trixie and Katya enough. I've been listening to Trixie and Katya's Podcast, the Bald and the Beautiful, for my long commutes and they keep me laughing. I'd start with their "Unhhh" youtube series though because it's..... Hilarious

Sorry this got so long. Classic Scoops

[tiny-sparrow]

Hey Tiny ^^ Seeing that you just finished NitW I’m wondering which character you related to the most? Or which is your favorite ^^ Whichever you’d prefer!

hello :V!

personally i think where i'm at right now — a tired weary exhausted college student with a bleak perspective — this game was a big help, as it has helped many who are [or used to be] just like me as a part of that sorta demographic. and with my limited [perhaps young, inexperienced, maybe even naive — i have so much life left to live, and perspectives to gain as i age] view, i really favor the "main" four — angus, gregg, bea and mae! i can't really pick a favorite. there are some traits that i can relate to, and some i dislike or resent, but they're a good bunch and four parts of a whole i think.

i have so many abstract feelings about the game that it's hard to put into words; mainly because i am nowhere near done with it and largely intend to go back over the dialogue and events — i'm definitely due a replay! maybe several. i'm 90% sure i missed out a bunch of stuff because the story had me so hooked :p

i cannot believe i found this game so late. but i played it at just the right time i needed it im pretty sure

[webplayanalogical]

haii crow i had a question . what counts as inappropriate questions? /gen i wanted 2 ask if u had any limits or kinks so i know what u enjoy & i can cater my asks 2 u towards the things u enjoy & also not make u uncomfortable, but since u dont list it in ur pinned i was wondering if that counted as an inappropriate question ! - @pupplaylogan

inappropriate questions would be like,,,,,, very personal sexual questions about me. if that makes sense. like im not really comfortable discussing my personal sex life. particularly if we dont know each other and you come into my inbox asking that stuff

as for my limits, i would rather not think about the sides in. what’s it called. rape-play scenarios? like. this isn’t a statement on rape-play as a whole (or whatever it’s actually called) i just don’t wanna,,, write the sides in that sorta way. idk if that would’ve come up ever but i’ve seen fics like that on ao3 so there must be a demographic for it lmao

the same applies to race-play. again, idk if this would come up, and i’ve never seen fics like that, but. no thanks ;^^ besides, as a white person i don’t feel like i should ,,, be involved in that? if that makes sense?

and idk how i feel about piss kink. im fascinated? that’s not the word but im. um. ??? i’ve heard the term “piss kink” so many times but i’ve never actually looked into how it’s… practiced???? so um. intriguing, but unfamiliar territory akdjjffkkf

,,i do think pet play could be fun 👀 how do you feel about pet play, tumblr user pupplaylogan KSDJFJFJ

idk i hope this is a sufficient response, i tried ;^^

[kenonade]

stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

[goliraz]

cracker island track by track review

'review' used very loosely. These R the thoughts of a tipsy scouser

got too long so it's hidden; it is mainly critical tbh not because Im negative or mean its just my track by track thoughts and on sound alone this (2 me) was the weakest album they've ever put out

cracker island: if it came on in a club I would dance to it but I don't know if Id be having a great time. The song feels way more redundant than it might actually be because there's only like 1 melody in it. The instrumental melody & the vocals r the same. So IDK it's like. Its definitely technically a song. But it's like the bare minimum of a song

oil: I wish if any of the songs on this album broke from the popsynth fake drums mold it would be this one. The thing about Stevie Nicks is I don't listen to fleetwood mac at all but her voice is so unique and captivating. It crushes me like an anvil on my head that they didn't even let her sing on her own + kept her to a secondary harmony the whole time. This more than any of the other songs would have benefitted from real instruments IMO. The up a perfect fourth down a perfect third hook is catchy & that pattern can't fail it sounds good nomatter what.

the tired influencer: at this point in the album Im starting to wonder why they even bother with the characters playing instruments anymore cos what did noodle do on this album. There's like no guitar at all on the album. All the bass is synth bass. The characters' function in the band/story is getting less & less relevant to the music it annoys me. IDK this song is boring 2 me. Its like if the Fall was overproduced and had nothing 2 say

silent running: this song has always since it came out felt half finished. It's like the basis of a song that's not done IDK I feel like it's missing a component that might make it feel whole. The feature could have been deleted and the song would be the exact same; something I notice about the features on this album except Bootie brown & bad bunny is that they're extremely underutilized to the point where they might not have even been there. Like ur featuring an artist to do a background harmony??? Maybe this song will feel more done & real when I hear the piano version

new gold: 1 of the better ones on the album for me completely because of Bootie brown. Even though they took a rapper who is so strong and good even (especially) live and put his voice through 100million filters and dampened his skill completely. The live version of this one is how I wish it sounded on the album cos the energy of Bootie's part in that saves this song; timing is kind of cool but it's not like. New in any way.

baby queen: if they had changed the presentation of each instrumental in this song they could have made it an 80s synthpop genre piece like aries that would have been 4x better. I wish it wasn't so so so so so so boring to me. It just sounds like all the other songs on the album IG it feels like a filler song to me. Even just better/less smooth tone/effects on the synth wld have been something but suppose not

tarantula: it's catchy but it feels low effort. The lyrics r dumb IDK how else to put it not that they're inherently stupid but they're dumbed down. Compared to sum of their earlier more 'romantic' minded lyrics like every planet + some of the stuff off plastic beach, "if ur good for me and Im good for u then that's all I need in my life" sounds like a 2014 pop lyric geared towards the 11-16 age demographic u feel. Lyrically they've dumbed down their shit so much

tormenta: fine I guess. It's mid reggaeton that's too produced and smooth to even dance to. If it came on in a club compared to most other bad bunny songs I've heard not even the bad bunny fans would dance. It's like. Too slow to be what the only things going for it would suggest it is. The little synth break at around like 2:40 is the prettiest thing in the song to me I wish maybe they had leaned more towards that for tone instead of trying for something the song is just not

skinny ape: the third better song on the album. In terms of like well these are better than the rest. Like it's this new gold and oil I think. Maybe this is the song that feels the most comfortable in what it is. It sounds exactly like 2012 radio pop in the self proclaimed "alternative" genre like grouplove an shit. Like it sounds like 1 song in particular but I cant remember what it is and its driving me fucking mental. Something about it is likeable even though the lyrics are so fucking dumb I wanna tear my ears off. U are not a cartoon G damon u are an embarrassing middle aged geezer

possession island: like if Idaho kind of forgot its poignancy. But there's something really beautiful about the first minute of it. Maybe this is actually one of the better ones too. The further Im getting into it the more Im liking it. I don't see why beck had to be there. It's like the plague of this album they feature someone to literally sing backup. Anyway the further I get in this song the more I like it I think it's my favourite song on this album probably. OK goodbye

addendum: if I listened 2 any of these songs coked out of my mind they'd probably sound fine so maybe I should just save this album 4 those circumstances

[raisinchallah]

the recent discourse re:yuri is so curious to me. my two cents is that some of it can be attributed to the very well researched book on yuri history by erica friedman that came out a couple years back which made the seemingly legit claim that the genre started with women authors. of course the whole picture is more fraught than the viral posts i see on this paint it. and the book itself has a long section on The Bad Parts of yuri. but the quotes i see people use and word of mouth fail to mention that part. i can kind of get the defensiveness bc yuri is so often dismissed as a genre JUST for the tillitation of men in a way that really erases the quite large subculture of lesbian/bi otaku and the women writers themselves. which tbf is often the case with a lot of these subcultures (sooo much "moe" was/is written by women but was imediately dismissed as a dude thing. this kind of radicalized me as a teen.). all of that being said there WAS an interesting shift these last few years on the stories being told and how they are told (maybe because of the critical/comercial success of kabi nagata's memoirs and of series like kase-san and yagakimi? the overall evolving discourse about lgbt people on the public sphere? the uptick in openly queer women writing independent webcomics? none of these? all of these and more? shrugs). i've been reading unhinged gay manga in dynastyscans for like, a decade by now. and it's become increasingly more common for them to feature adult women, people actually saying the word "lesbian", lesbian bars even. it still surprises me constantly. comic yuri hime actually split itself in two (the idea is that the core mag is for women and the other is for men. fostering this idea of yuri by women to women). even the kirara magazine started including a lot of yuribait in its publications. which is a different beast entirely but is amusing enough that it makes me go "okay who is this FOR? yuribros? just to snatch the stray lesbian reader?". sorry for the long message i am just fascinated by all of this.

no worries at all this is actually extremely interesting thank you so much for all these extra details yeah i have been curious about like general demographic surveys or such of major yuri magazines yeah that makes sense from a lot of my research as well erica friedman seems to be the main source of a lot of information about yuri i have also wondered in general if some of the confusion around the genre also seems to come from a lot of western bookstores manga hosting sites and so on seemingly grouping memoir and short like joke comics about lesbians and so on under the yuri label i mean im sure part of that online is cuz dynasty scans has a really wide interest in what they seek out and translate which like i love that this stuff has a wider audience but its odd to call it yuri yeah ive noticed that as well in terms of shifts in whats actually focused on i read one yuri manga that was also about broader yuri fandom i guess like about a lonely lesbian who wrote yuri doujins and so on helping another manga artist find her love for drawing again and talking about like actual stuff about being gay and so on idk very interesting the places things are going like i think thats the other funny thing about the new narrative around yuri is like as you said its often kinda surprising still when characters actually say they are lesbians cuz a lot of works kinda held onto like oh ur my exception oh this will fade etc idk fascinating stuff thank u also for the details about the states of different magazines very interesting also if u wanna discuss this more in dms :3

[brainrotdotorg]

Okay so first off, In Short, I Love You. Great fic, def have ONLY read it and totally have not used it for nefarious purposes.

Also you wrote in the notes how surprising it was to not see any other sex pollen works and. You’re right?? There’s only 5 tagged in ao3. Which got me wondering about how little of the common fandom tropes there actually are for de.

Like-like, there are only 3 soulmate aus. Which in and of itself blew me away. Then I could only find 11 ABO fics (side note: Kim was an omega for all but 1. This disappoints me narratively and personally) Then 4 werewolf and 10 vampire aus respectively. Out of the 2800 fics tagged de, only 65 are marked alternate universe At All. (With most of them being what if scenarios)

My point is: Thank you for writing that very good (Very good 😏) fic and I think you may have inspired me to come out of writing retirement to write for every fic trope under the sun. It’s got me nostalgic

(i made a huge post that crashed the editor so im. gonna try my best to reconstruct that)

THANK YOUUUU im so glad you enjoy it!! and I KNOW it's shocking right? DE fic (at least on ao3) is fascinating in that like. there really isnt much of it in the first place like you said, just under 3k. as for the tropes themselves, it could have something to do with the source material itself, which is already so strong and compelling that it doesnt really need much trope support to make it interesting.

Maybe its because of different circles i run in, but these types of tropes like soulmate AUs, ABO stuff, coffeeshop AUs, etc. are all received fairly favorably, so its not like there isnt a demographic of people who would enjoy stuff like that.

fans really seem to gravitate towards canon-compliance, at least the ones who are writing about it ! which is neither a good or a bad thing btw, its just how it is, the selection that we have afforded to is absolutely JAM-PACKED with some of the best stuff ive ever read. i just hope that doesnt discourage some people for getting more self indulgent and out there in your fic.

all this to say im happy to hear that you feel inspired to write again!! i highly encourage. literally anyone. if you have an idea for a fic you want to see, and are sad it doesnt exist yet-- you can be the one to write it! dont worry about your skill level. just give it a shot. someone will be happy that you did. it can feel great to be the one who gets the ball rolling in an obscure ship tag or niche trope. find a friend who also has a niche idea and do a fic trade, if you want to see someone elses interpretation of your idea! commission a writer whos comms are open (not off of ao3 tho, iirc theres rules about making money off of the site)

seriously there is nothing better than knowing that you made something that specifically appeals to you, and odds are, will appeal to other people. i thought no use crying over spilled milk would be my least popular fic and was pleasantly surprised. dont be afraid to be the change what you want to see in the world!! see a need fill a need !! write niche stuff!!!!

[cluelesslesbian]

alright tumblrinas prepare yourselves for me using my blog as my own diary for a lil bit uwu

i gotta hand in the proposal for my senior research project by tmrw night and gUESS WHO HASN'T STARTED ANYTHINGGGG

me. it's me. i'm so unmotivated and oddly tired lately?? like fr slept for most of my reading week and I'm so confused how???? i was so excited to start researching n drawing stuff in my free time?? wack. i blame depression- that evil bastard swirling my poor innocent noodle brain around on it's demonic pitchfork... idek what I'm saying alright NEXT SUBJECT---

im working w a local medical aesthetician who wants to create a guideline/course for medical professionals and beauty technicians to take in order to improve their bedside manners (aka how u talk and interact w clients/patients, the extra jazz on top of your scheduled appointment stuff ykno??) and ANYWAYYSSS I'm so down to help her bc!! i totally agree that some ppl are so casually insensitive when handling patients? and she was telling me about how heartbreaking it was that some of her clients were so surprised by her?? just being a decent human & doing her job??? like,,, yall I'm talking if a trans woman wants a brazillian wax?? like I personally don't like touching other ppl but like?? there's nothing wrong with that at all????? but apparently some places will deny that kinda service bc of their [prejudice OR lack of training in waxing diff genitalia... it's easy to say it's just a transphobic professional but sometimes,, there's just no resources for ppl to access and they don't want to hurt ppl in the process ykno?? its complicated but ethics b like that lol] and anyways ugh ok now I'm remembering how she hesitated telling me the details of waxing someone who's faced fatphobia and BRUH- I'm a twig, I can admit that but?? HOW would u not know or be comfortable asking someone to hold up their stomach or arm while u did ur job???? like I get it- some ppl might say it too harshly and that's a subjective tonal issue.. but?? like it's not rocket science to just BE POLITE- and anyways idek but yeah..

so ok im getting excited one again yay this was a good idea- imma start researching what ethical considerations are directly mentioned in physician training, how medial education is formatted, and bedside manner things... then I'll start compiling a report about what SHOULD be done and how it can be taught instead... (me and the nice lady r thinking of starting by creating awareness on insta via infographics and fun stuff before creating an online course... she wanted to do like a community college typa course but I recommended an etextbook course bc?? i mean I've done plenty of university courses primarily using an online textbook site soo it's def worth a shot and can be mass-distributed & can b formatted to allow for accessibility ..things.. wait whats the word.. uhh OH- ACCOMODATIONS yeeeee im so smort

....ok thats it. probs. this was neat. 10/10 brain feels more on track now omg..

OH yo i gotta remember to declare in my research intro that I'm a cis woman... wait or not... depends on if I focus more on soft-skills vs. hard-skills in my research.. no wait i still need to bc yeah i get diff treatment as a woman who fits the stereotypical "girly" standard than others might.... hmm ugh i don't wanna do a survey but now I'm wondering if i should get ethics clearance to (anonymously) question lgbt+ folks in my area about their experiences since it'll def be more reliable than some paper in a fancy-schmancy medical journal .... but that's so much woooorkkkk nooo 😭

okokokokoK one thing at a time.

gonna start summarizing some medical research to start a lit review.

then identify if there are gaps in existing research (specifically around patient mental health when it comes to demographic characteristics)

then summarize some marketing research to make informed predictions/recommendations on how tooooo... like productively change your habits or at least identify them? yeah? hmm marketing for how to present that info but psych & epidemiology research to get the content of the info probably....

OK BET YEET

[scolek]

everyone wanting dual cures again: how about four or possibly six AND one or two are boys?!

I wish it would be that they can only transform together but I don't think it will be! :( but it would be nice. but another boy cure would be nice too, yippee!

well, its 2 or 3 pairs i think. but its sounding like komugi will transform before iroha, so.

but it can happen!!! they did it for miracle/magical and for amour/ma cherie there is modern precedent. it can happen again. im not sure it will be this time but im still holding out hope! if not then than certainly a concept in the future will do it.

ive also been wondering about. like, in making haruka the protagonist of donbrothers inoue said sentai is for everyone, even a series as women challenged as kamen rider is making their first female secondary rider even if theyre introducing her in the most scuffed way possible, so i think boy cures might just be the norm now. it would be weird if a sentai team didnt have at least one girl on it and i think its only fair if a precure team doesnt have at least one boy on it.

all these shows air back to back to back and are made by the same company for the same demographics basically so even though precure is somewhat more vestigial being animated, heisei-onwards and 'for girls', the whole conversation and culture here is being shifted more towards gender-neutral equanimity, if only slightly.

it will be more common here on out to see at least one boy cure, and there might be two depending on what gender that bunny is. its not crazy. the last time they managed to pull one over on me regarding the midseason cure was starpre, and like, that was the whole point.

i just checked and it seems the henshin toy comes out on feb 3rd, so we miiight get toy hacks as early as literally the day wanpre begins so.

its not wild. none of this is wild speculation its all stuff that is perfectly within the realm of possibility. im the worlds greatest psychic and i specialize in knowing what going to happen on tv shows.

[inahallucination]

my head is aching but all i can think about is different teacher anderperry scenarios during covid 

like

imagine an au where todd is an english professor but neil is like an actor or something and like covid’s just started after the 3 week break, so neil isn’t used to it. And it’s like 9 am and he wakes up wondering where his husband is and more importantly, why isn’t he cuddling with neil

so he gets out of bed and stumbles over out the room, to see todd in a suit (and oh does that look good) and he doesn’t notice the computer 

so he calls out, “babe why are you all dressed up when you could be naked and in bed with me - actually maybe keep the suit” or something like that 

and todd is like bright red and he’s like “NEIL IM TEACHING” and the students are like losing their shit

“MR. ANDERSON WE DIDN’T NEED TO HEAR THAT”

“AYEE GET SOMEE SIRRR”

“AW YOUR TAKENN???? “

“SIR THATS SO SCANDELOUS”

“I’M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO LOOK U IN THE EYE WHEN U WEAR A SUIT AGAIN”

but at least zoom class finally grabs everyones attention 

-- 

or 

theyre both teachers at the same school but it’s like my other teacher au and no one really knows or whatever

and a student who is like never in class or always late and they say “sorry mr. perry, but mr. anderson’s class always goes overtime - thats why im late,” 

and neil is like nodding knowing damn well that todd is very punctual about zoom (i don’t wanna be here, so im sure they don’t wanna be here either) and yells out 

“TODD HONEY ARE YOU KEEPING YOUR STUDENTS IN LATE?” 

and a voice that’s obviously mr anderson’s yells back “NO WHY?”

and neil is like to the class, “plz make ur excuses more believable.” and the kid is like :0 “u two are roommates???” (oh my god they were roommates)

and neil is like “kid thats my husband”

and boom relationship reveal

--

or

todd anderson is easily the most well known and well liked novelist among the teen demographic 

and like the kids are always raving about his new books

and a few of his stuff has gotten adapted into movies or shows, so like every one knows and likes him, even if they aren’t big readers

and neil is a well liked, friendly teacher (i wanna say theater but idk how that would even work online) who is a known fan of todd anderson (he raves and rants and has all of his books (signed) )

so imagine everyone’s surprise when one day during a zoom class neil is having a group discussion and the topic’s veered off course but its friday so neil lets them socialize (there stuck indoors, they need it) 

someone from mr. perry’s house softly asks “hey neil have you seen the draft i was writing up earlier this week?” and mr. perry is like “no why?” and the voice is like “i think i left it in the desk, can i check” and then todd fucking anderson himself is seen on the screen rummaging through what are probably the desk drawers and yeah

i could go on

[actualbird]

If Vyn lets his being a furry slip to the team I feel mc would absolutely be the first and most willing to share her own nerdy (anime) interests followed by Marius who teases Vyn before realising he probably needs some reassurance that his interests are Fine, so he pulls out his ridiculously long list of commissions for furries he's done because as fun as teasing Vyn is he's gotta make sure Vyn knows it's in good faith first.

How does Vyn get to know Luke's anime days? Mc and Luke absolutely had anime tumblr blogs or accounts on other social media that mc is completely unembarrassed about. Luke probably isn't embarrassed about it either but he also doesn't really take initiative to show his blog to the others unless Vyn really needs to know it and mc doesn't want to force him to give away something he might want to keep private so she decides to only show her blog. Except there's no way their blogs never interacted with one another and so, while looking through mc's many many posts:

Vyn, after reading a miles long rp post between mc's account and someone with sherlock in their account name: Luke that's you isn't it

Mc is just about to apologise a thousand times for sharing Luke's blog accidentally before he tells her it's fine and gives the team the go ahead to look through his blog too.

And after seeing how chill the rest of nxx is about nerdy interests Artem shares his own Star Trek days, offhandedly mentions his cosplay of Spock and is instantly bombarded with requests to see it. He tells the team to go back to work but the next Halloween when they're probably close enough to hold a party. He shows up in his fabled cosplay and the team goes WILD.

This sharing of nerd culture brings all of them closer together, but also just gave everyone ammo for everyone else. None of them ever hear the end of jokes relating to their respective interests, but of course it's all in good fun and doesn't go too far. Some of them probably get into the fandoms of the others. At some point all of them get into a common fandom and start scheduling meetups specifically for fandom business along with their actual important jobs.

🌌

irt nxx team locational coincidences: part 1. part 2. part 3. part 4.

hhhHHHH, MILKYWAYYYYY!! this genuinely just made me feel like pleading emoji the entire time i was reading, it's so sweet, so tender :((((

ive got nothing to add, you already made something wonderful, so i will just tell u Everything I Love About This

MARIUS IS A GOOD BEAN!!! yes hes an asshole but hes an asshole (affectionate) and the ribbing only comes after marius divulging his own "cringe" stuff and how cringe is shitty anyway, look at these fucking designs, vyn, furries are awesomely creative and are the best demographic to get commissions from OF ALL TIME.

sdkjbkjBKJKS YEAH, VYN CLOCKS IN LUKE FROM HIS URL. who tf else would have the url theadventuresofsherlukeholmes dot tumblr dot com (WHICH, I JUST CHECKED, IS NOT TAKEN. somebody go get it, bc i cant since ive hoarded enough tot urls HAHA)

sidenote: so curious as to what mc and luke were rp-ing, like, luke is obvi rp-ing sherlock, either from the og ACD or specific adaptations he likes, so i guess thatd mean mc is doing the same but rp-ing as watson. oh my god, their rp threads are just them doing johnlock across medias. LOSING MY MIND, i love them both so much, your honor.

YESSSSSSS ARTEM'S COSPLAY!!! i do a standing ovation, youre doing AMAZING, HONEY!!!!

im so emotional about all this :((( nerds coming together and having fun together //SOBS!!!

this is so fantastic, thank u for my life, milkyway!!!

[bigskycastle]

kinda personal ask but i was wondering (as an artist also posting their art on twt) how do you not have likes/rts amount to how you measure ur art? it gets kinda hard and ive been feeling self conscious about it lately so i was wondering if this is a normal thing or? either way i rlly respect you as an artist and i love the stuff you draw zelda or not!

thank you :-) it’s no worries, i’ll try and articulate this as best i can..

i think its incredibly easy to get pulled into thinking this way, and i do it way more often than i would like to :’)  like, objectively you know that likes/rt dont reflect the value of your art, but its still disheartening when you pull low numbers.. i think it’s because it feels almost as though your art was ignored or disregarded by people

but ultimately, social media is just... incredibly fickle n shallow lol. it will always favor content thats easy to digest/relate to. and thats fine! thats kind of what its built for. but it does make it very hard to get your foot in the door as an artist. esp if u don’t do much fanart :’) people don’t generally want to expend the energy it takes to engage with art, especially art thats more personal, or just like... “weird”. that's not even getting into the whole issue of being stuck in obscurity until someone with a larger following decides to share your stuff lol

all this to say.. like.. of course likes/rt dont reflect quality. if they're anything, they're more like.. like how views on a youtube video functions, i guess? if a video has more views, that generally means that: The Algorithm showed it to more people; that it has a flashy/intriguing thumbnail; and probably most importantly, that the content it advertises can appeal to a large demographic. its not a measure of its quality at all. i've watched super high quality niche documentaries and video essays etc., but because they have less mass appeal, they tend to sit below the 50k view threshold. its not a reflection of your value at all, its just a reflection of how well you can cater to what twitter as an..entity wants.

and i think i am pretty good at this! not cuz im such a phenomenal amazing artist, or cuz i try and pander or something, but because the way i draw and the things i enjoy drawing tend to line up pretty well with "what twitter wants”. in this sense im very lucky! i know many artists who genuinely ARE phenomenal and amazing but they might only draw, like, fanart of an obscure videogame from the early 2000s. doesnt make them less good, but you can see why they are less popular.

thats not to say that doing fanart will launch u into popularity or whatever tho. i mean, i posted fanart alongside OC on this blog since like 2016, and only in the past 1-2 years have i gotten much clout. i used to get super excited if any of my posts broke 20 notes. sometimes u just have to draw for yourself, improve your skills at your own pace and maybe hope someday people take notice of you i guess. but still, try to keep in mind that likes/rts dont really.. mean much. i think the thing they're most useful for is purely visibility, which can be useful in trying to get work.... SOMETIMES. (besides that, they're just good at making people irrationally distrust or hate you assuming youre some sort of.. i dont know.. rich industry pro and not a broke teenager lol)

(exhale) i hope this helps somehow lol it kind of turned into a rant about the things i dislike about posting art on socmed. if any other artists want to chip in and say something more coherent thatd be helpful LOL sorry anon. tldr: social media is fake and shallow, draw what makes you happy